#fearne: i don't remember that :)

[pocketgalaxies]

C3E31: fearne + bad thoughts (requested by anonymous)

#critical role #criticalroleedit #fearne calloway #ashley johnson #gifs #* #*parallel #*request #cr3 #ashton greymoore #r: callowmoore #birdie calloway #ollie calloway #laugh tag #1h52m c3e31 #3h27m c3e31 #anyone: fearne you just said this #fearne: i don't remember that :)

[danwhobrowses]

Taliesin for the sake of sanity I'm gonna have to ask you to NEVER LET ASHTON DO THAT AGAIN

Except the kissing Fearne part, more of that!

#critical role #bells hells #ashton greymoore #fearne calloway #taliesin jaffe #ashley johnson #sometimes warnings are there for a reason! #visibly shaking #frothing panicking unable to think #but yay Callowmoore #callowmoore #y'know after Fearne forgives him for almost dying #you regret what you don't take remember Ashley? #but now Ash is both Emperor and Empress so I need some magmatic power buffs going now since the gambit (somehow) paid off #rockwild #Taliesin you LITERAL PUNK #seeing discourse in the tag though I don't get; Fearne didn't want it so Ash took it that's all there is #the Hells are gonna be so mad but Ashton was not gonna let anyone die for them because they are what they're fighting for #hoof in the face is deserved though 'I love you so much but I hate you right now' style #3 weeks and several mental scenarios did not prepare me for that #ashton x fearne #fearne x ashton #cr spoilers #now commence a full week of more mental scenarios that won't prepare me but will at least keep me somewhat composed

[finncakes]

really hope they come back.

(emotional ramblings and the original drawing i did of them under the cut)

for the life of me i couldn't figure out why hearing orym and fearne died was affecting me so badly (i'm still on ep 32 lol). i didn't sleep, i was crying almost every few hours, no appetite and i was so confused as to why. i didn't react like this with molly! then i realized it's cause fearne and orym are part of exu and exu pulled me out of a bad place.

i remember when i decided to listen to exu. i was in one of the worst places mentally i have been in years and choosing to listen to it was dicey for many personal reasons. but i took the risk and i listened to exu and fell in love with the crown keepers (fearne, orym and opal in particular). and after that i slowly but surely pulled myself out of that hole. hearing two of my favorite members of the crown keepers were in campaign 3 was the greatest news ever for me. i know they'll never see this but just in case they do: thanks liam and ashley (and all the crown keepers as well as aabria) for making the characters and fun story that saved me. i hope they come back, but if not i'm glad they came into my life and they will always hold a special spot in my heart.

#critical role #critical role campaign 3 #cr #cr3 #cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #fearne calloway #orym of the air ashari #critical role orym #too much depressing art of them (understandably) #that pic under the cut is the first fearne i ever drew #third orym i ever drew #anyways i hope they come back...i know everyone says deaths are narratively interesting but.. #i think it's okay if they come back and i don't think it'll ruin the story of dampen the gravity of that moment #maybe that's just me though XD #either way i am trying to remember that molly's death gave way for one of my fave critrole characters ever #so #maybe there'll be characters even better than fearne and orym #who knows #fey blossoms

[densitywell]

there are lots of things i'd love to see happen with the hells' visit to zephrah, but the thing i want the most is them all crammed around the table in orym's mother's tiny halfling home because she absolutely INSISTS on welcoming and feeding them all

#and just like. orym greeting the exceedingly normal and pleasant ppl of zephrah who remember the exceedingly normal and pleasant orym #and having to b like “hi i am back for the first time in six years. and i have brought the six strangest fucking people you will ever meet" #critical role #orym of the air ashari #cr3 #bells hells #(actually just remembered that orym was back in zephrah a year ago with fearne and dorian but shhh i don't wanna edit the tag)

[elementalladymallorie]

Just having thoughts now about Fearne and her Grandma Morri.

Just remembering how Fearne's asked her parent's if she was something traded to Morrigan for a favor, how Isharnai made trades, and just likely general Fae things, but there wasn't a solid answer because even Birdie and Ollie seemed confused

Wondering now if Fearne's going to ask about if she was a trade to a Nana that she very clearly loves despite all the of the oddness and different ways Fae react.

Wondering how Morrigan would answer that, because it's likely/possible that in her own Fae morality way she loves Fearne. Loves the little girl she was given, in either the traded sense or not, to watch over to the point that she extended her time with the little faun and possibly stretched her out too given how Fearne is taller than both her parents and how...tall Morrigan is herself.

Wondering how Fearne, who despite being Fae herself and living in the Fey wild for so long with it's different moralities and everything will take that given how much she's grown with her friends.

Just having feels about how this whole thing could go and hoping we get to touch on that in the upcoming episode.

#cr c3 #cr campaign three #cr spoilers #cr campaign 3 #critical role spoilers #critical role #cr fearne #fearne calloway #I'm sure someone else has pointed this out already #but aojfoej #I just remembered that Fearne asked #and we didn't really get an answer? #at least I don't believe we did

[likeshipsonthesea]

coda fic for CR campaign 3 ep34 blood and dust. i have. feelings

It’s late, late enough that the world glows at the edges of the desert and it’s nothing like the Feywild, but Fearne thinks it’s rather pretty anyway. She stands at the edge of the ship, enjoying the cold night wind rustling through her fur, one hand tucked into her pocket, held tight around the Changebringer coin. It’s gone warm and soft with her body heat, like Orym’s skin as he took his first breath back in the world. Fearne’s been holding it on and off since that moment to keep the coin from going cold and hard like Laudna’s skin still is.

“Fearne?”

One of Fearne’s ears twitches back towards Orym’s voice but she doesn’t turn. “Morning,” she says, and only realizes as she speaks that she’s been crying.

“Not like you to be up early,” Orym says. Even without looking at him, she can imagine his tight smile. There were a handful of seconds earlier where she didn’t think she’d ever see that smile again, and she’s still new to this whole time thing but that was way too fucking long, so she turns and smiles back at him.

“New life, new me,” she says, and Orym’s smile loses a bit of tension.

“New life, same me. Mind if I join you?”

Fearne shakes her head. “Not at all.”

Orym nods back at her and sets to work with his precise movements like always. Fearne watches him tie a rope to the deck, the other end to his ankle, and hop up on the railing with his sword unsheathed. She’s seen him do this routine a dozen times before, but never balancing on the edge of an airship like this. It’s almost like a dance, a beautiful, daring, practiced dance, all the more breathtaking for how fleeting it could be.

Life is long, Fearne thinks. Longer still because of Grandma Morri. But it’s also terrifyingly short, especially when you have things you love. Fearne hasn’t asked, but she doesn’t think Orym went to the same place she did, with all those eyes and claws and darkness. She wasn’t lying when she said she wasn’t ready for all that yet, but maybe she also meant that she wasn’t ready to be somewhere Orym wasn’t. Not yet.

The more Fearne watches him, the more she notices the barest bit of tension in Orym’s movements. The heaviness behind his eyes that’s been there since he woke up and realized he was alive while Laudna wasn’t. The guilt.

Fearne recognizes it, because she feels it too. Not because it was her hand that flipped the coin, or her magic that brought Orym back while Laudna lay still beside him. But because it was her who didn’t look at the coin in her hand before choosing.

The sounds of the ship rousing emanate from the lower cabins. Fearne watches Orym, and breathes in the cool air, and knows she can never tell anyone what she did, least of all Orym. Selfishness never bothered her before she came here, and though she’s been developing something like the morals Exandrians seem to cling to, she’s glad, at least, that she was selfish enough still to choose.

“Sounds like breakfast is coming along,” Orym says as he finishes his last sequence.

Fearne’s nose twitches. “Smells like it, too.”

Orym smiles, flipping down from the ledge with one fluid movement, falling into place beside Fearne. He looks up at her, sweat dotting his forehead. “Would you like to go with me?”

Fearne smiles. “Always.”

#critical role #bell's hells #fearne calloway #orym #orym of the air ashari #critical role campaign 3 #i don't remember how to tag stuff #fearne #my writing #sort of fic #ficlet #look okay i had feelings about that moment #and had to share #so now y'all are made to be sad too :))) #coda fic for ep 34

[emilypemily]

critical role campaign 3 episode 76 is doing a very good job of summarising and explaining everything that's been happening for the last several episodes thank god because last episode i was truly lost and could not remember what they were doing and why at that point

#they have a magic sucking harness #there are two rocks and ones in ashton and one might go into fearne for some reason #actually i can't remember what the shards will do but something weapony i guess #they need to go to the malleus key to stake out the place again (i think) and save ryn #eventually they will go to da moon #errrr also something about ludiness being everywhere at once but that's none of my business #they saw a tree who told ashton some lore stuff that i don't really care about #imogen is pro god at this point which people keep erasing every time they say 'only fcg cares about gods :(' #i think that's everything #all of the ashton lore stuff i truly do not care about #he's a rock but before he wasn't a rock and that's all i need to know

[mightybeaujester]

Ruidus and the Bell’s Hells

I really think it could be possible that all the Hells are in some way Ruidus born. I’m not gonna call this a theory, I don’t have enough information for that, but I also think there is nothing contradicting it.

So lets start with a little time line:

810 PD (33 years ago) - The Rebellion of Whitestone: Laudna gets killed on the tree and “reborn” in a way. Maybe reborn under a flare? - Possible Births? Imogen, Orym, and Ashton

833 PD (10 years ago) - Imogen’s dreams start 836 PD (7 years ago) - The M9 discover Aeor, activate Devexian - According to Ollie, Fearne was born about 7 years ago Exandrian time

836 PD - 839 PD (7-4 years ago) - Somewhere in this time frame, FCG gets woken up, “reborn”. Maybe under a flare?

837 PD (6 years ago) - Will gets killed by the Gray Assassins 843 PD (A few months ago) - Chetney gets bitten and his wolf form is “born”. Maybe under a flare?

My theory in short: Orym and Imogen are born under a regular flare. Ashton is either born under the same flare or uh. is born on Ruidus and came to Exandria as an asteroid. Laudna gets hung on the sun tree and re-born under the same flare. Fearne gets born and FCG reactivated under an extra powerful flare. The Gray Assassins are connected to Aeor. Chetney became a wolf under a flare. Under the cut, more thoughts and details:

First, Imogen: She claims she left home after her powers separated her from her father. She also claims the dreams, that came with the power, started about 10 years ago. At that point, she was already working. Therefore, she is at least in her late 20s. She gets described as a young woman, but I’d argue 33 still counts. Her dreams seem to coincide with the flares, and they have occurred almost exponentially the last few years.

Orym: Will was killed in an attack 6 years ago, at which point Orym and him were already married and working as close guard to Keyleth, so they had to have trained and worked for quite a while. Again, I’d argue he’s at least in his late 20s at this point, but 33 seems very possible. I think it could be possible that the assassins weren’t actually after Keyleth, but after Orym, because the were hunting Ruidus-born? Orym has two so-far unexplained cantrips, which could just be background-flair cause Keyleth, but could also be Ruidus-related. Also, his tattoo. He literally is the little moon.

Ashton: We also don’t know Ashton’s age, but neither does he. We also don’t know what kind of stone he is. In the background of his character card in the stream are read meteors. It could fit that he was born 33 years ago, but also.... what if he fell to earth? What if they are not from Exandria, but Ruidus?  (...Like Fjord? (Fjord alien real don’t come at me (They’re both green! A lot of red metals oxidize green! What if that’s just what happens when red material from Ruidus come in contact w Exandrian air?)))

So yes, I’m claiming it could be possible that either all three have the same birthday (or....arrival in Exandria), coincidentally on the same day as Laudna became undead.

Next, Aeor, the Assassins, Fearne and FCG

We know the Pre-Calamity-cities were connected to each other, and were, in their own way, very obsessed with breaking out of the material plane. I’m fully convinced there is a connection between the Aermatons, the Assassins, Fearne’s birth-flare, and FCG, simply because it lines up so well. The first actual year mentioned is 836, when Will was killed, apart from that we just have “a few years” and “about a decade”, which could fit with the 7 years. I don’t know if they come from Aeor, or if they are connected to the Assembly (w Ludinus being v interested apparently), and they just want to control the power, but I do think the assassins are connected to the rediscovery of Aeor

I also think when Devexian started reactivating the other Aermatons, he somehow activated a connection to the Ruidus-city, which, additionally to the nearing Apogee solstice, became more powerful. That could have led to a massive flare, during which Fearne was born. And even if FCG was awoken later, being connected to the Aeor itself, with maybe a massive amount of power suddenly running through it, they could have been affected.

I also think the the red lattice is something similar to the divine gate, therefore, Ruidus would be at least partly in another plane. By connecting Aeor to Ruidus, the barrier between these planes would be weakened, maybe that also weakened other barriers... Like that to the Feywild. By taking someone already connected to Ruidus (Fearne), back to the Feywild, Ruidus then became able to also appear there.

Chetney: Don’t have much on the little guy, except that he was bitten only a few months ago, a time when Imogen already had a toooon of dreams. If we assume every dream is a flare, it could be super possible Chet just happened to be bitten under one. Especially bc if I remember correctly, the Lycanthropy gets harder to control under full moons, and also, again, if I remember correctly, Chet does actually feel weird when Ruidus is full, even if Lycanthropy is normally just impacted by Catha.

_______________ Things that don’t line up:

Ashtons age: We do know Otohan disappeared from Bassuras following the Apex Wars (That started in 823 PD and ended years later), when Ashton was still “a kid”. So even if we assume the war only took 3 years, If my theory is correct, Ashton would have been at least 16 at that point. Could still count as “a kid”, but... doubtful I do think, however, that that could just be a instance of Taliesin not having the time line in mind a 100%. Also, even if he wasn’t born in the 810 flare (That I assume happened, there is no confirmation for that), if he is actually an asteroid, I’d say that counts as “Ruidus born”

Fearne’s age: This is like... super wobbly I’m not even sure she was born 7 years ago bc I can’t find a recap of last ep and I don’t remember when exactly this was said so I can’t check it. Then, additionally, Feanre says she is 112, and her parents left her 90 years ago. That would mean that she was 22 when her parents left. Fearne has memories of her parents, but they are not great memories, and from how she talks about her memories, it sounds like she was a toddler/young child when she left. According to her parents, though, she was born 7 years ago, they have been in Exandria 5 or 6 years ago, so that would mean she was 2 at most.Her parents haven’t even been together 22 years. Fearne would at this point be older than her parents, but Matt described Birdie as looking older than Fearne. Granted, time is a weird soup, but this is a VERY weird soup.

#critical role #cr spoilers #bell's hells #this is... a lot #also prob v incorrect #also v convoluted but idk how to make it shorter #the worst thing about this is prob the 100 things i kind of still remember but couldn't find anywhere #like if ollie actually said 7 years ago #and all the stuff around chet feeling weird under ruidus and all the lycanthropy stuff #also like.... theorizing based on flares i don't actually know happened is prob bad #the only actual flares we have confirmed-ish is the one at fearne's birth and the two imogen saw the nights she also had dreams #one through the telescope and one in bassuras #so yes #if you spot any actual mistakes pls let me know so i can rework this #this took me like 3 hours #i though oh let me just look into it rly quick and suddenly it's dark outside i'm super thirsty w an open water bottle beside me and #i have to pee #love me a good hyper focus

[stardustedknuckles]

Another thing about great conflict potential involving the feywild, which Bells Hells are almost certainly going into at this point, is that characters like the Nightmare King and rulers of unseelie courts aren't just big bads to be fought and destroyed and they certainly aren't beings to be cajoled or adopted into allies. The feywild is its own balance and hierarchy/ecosystem. It is possible that free travel opening up between the planes could change SOME of that, but the fact remains that if Bells Hells gets in a position of conflict directly with an archfey or a Court ruler, the resolution will almost certainly look like nothing we've seen before. Fighting, sure, but outright killing the source would be like trying to kill the concept of an emotion or a sensation. Fey in their own world aren't mortal or immortal. They're outside of that dichotomy. Fearne has stated she has died dozens of times. Fey are often concentrations of emotion, embodiments of concepts, even more so for rulers and royalty. That changes the game, and anything goes insofar as how much the fey can be changed by encounters with the material plane and how mortals can be changed by the feywild.

#I could be off by a mile #This like any post is speculation #But I don't think I'm far off #cr spoilers #Fearne Calloway #I couldn't remember the name of the one Dusk talked to and it's too soon to know where to look

[dyketrickfoot]

oh also i figured that fearne's level in rogue is actually pretty beneficial if she continues to use spell attacks and not aoe spells. on the other hand matt might rule against being able to add sneak attack if she doesn't use a finesse weapon like the rules specify. bc if not. well.

#i don't think either fearne or chetney has used sneak attack ONCE yet do either of them remember anything. hello <- yelling #she could also use it in her wildshape forms maybe?? #because if not. that level of rogue was almost useless

[lizeon]

second immovable rooood!!! \o/

#catching up on cr #finally caught back up after falling behind because of totk #fuckin rip bordor #poor laudna D: poor orym :( poor prism :((( #who has their other immovable rod fearne? #or did this group have it??? and they left it???? i don't remember #celeb

[ladyfoxfire]

Something occurred to me earlier about Otohan's claim that Fearne was vital to the Ruby Vanguard's plans: that it doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

The night of the solstice, Ludinus's speech was a lot more "I'm about to kill the gods right now and you fuckers can't stop me!" than "I would be about to kill the gods if not for Zathuda's custody dispute!" He laid an elaborate trap for Vax, but not for Fearne, who was also right there? It doesn't add up.

But then it occurred to me: it does add up if Fearne was always intended to be plan B, and plan A is completely fucked because the Bells Hells sabotaged the Malleus Key.

Rewind in time to Ludinus starting to put the Ruby Vanguard together. He's figured out two potential ways to release Predathos: build a giant laser beam powered by dunamancy and a divine champion, or do some mystery thing involving a Ruidus-born fey. He's pretty sure the laser beam will work, but it's good to have a contingency plan, so he tells Zathuda to start working on making a baby while he works on the Key.

But then Birdie runs off with Fearne, and plan B is now on hold. Not great, but progress on the Key is going well, so they'll put some resources towards tracking her down, but if they can't find her, they'll just have to make sure plan A doesn't fail.

But then plan A does fail, because somebody blew up the secondary Keys and unplugged a bunch of wires from the main Key. Instead of firing with enough force to blow Ruidus apart (or whatever the plan was) it's just acting as a bridge and jamming everyone's Sending spells.

So now their only option is plan B, finding Zathuda's kid. They can't scry directly on her, because they don't know what she looks like or what name she goes by, but they can put more effort into finding Birdie and interrogating her. They find her hiding in a cave outside of Bassuras, but she's gone by the time they get there. (Remember that's why Birdie said she and Ollie were at Nana's, because Ollie foresaw Paragon's Call attacking the hideaway)

But then Otohan, in the course of tracking down those asshole adventurers who keep blowing up all her stuff, puts it together that the faun is the one they've been looking for this whole time. And then she fucks up and Fearne and FCG escape, now also knowing that Fearne is vital to the Vanguard's plans.

So yeah, I think that version of events fits all the evidence, but let me know if I missed or misremembered anything.

#critical role spoilers #critical role #cr meta

[cassafrasscr]

I continue to have so many thoughts about Ashton.

I've seen a handful of posts accusing Ashton of being selfish and power-hungry, and I don't think that's completely inaccurate, per se. I don't think it's fair to frame it as Ashton just wanting power for it's own sake without considering the larger context of the threat they're facing.

Let's look back on the Hells' first battle with Otohan.

Ashton was almost completely useless in that fight. He got knocked out twice in the space of a few rounds. Which, no shade. With her Echoes in play, Otohan was almost able kill Keyleth (a level 20 Archdruid, plus her elemental Wildshape) in a single round.

Ashton's whole job is to tank hits and deal damage. With an enemy that can deal out enough damage in one round to put the tank out of commission, his ability to mitigate damage to the rest of the party is severely hampered (if not cancelled out completely).

The only reason Ashton didn't also die in that fight is that his friends healed them enough that they could get back up again, and they were able to make a run for it before Otohan started going back to kill the PCs she had already knocked out.

And that was just Otohan. One of Ludinus' right hand generals, sure, but still nowhere near as strong as Ludinus himself (or even Predathos, if it gets released). Even once they defeat Otohan, the fight that's still in store for Bell's Hells is near insurmountable.

Taliesin has said in a previous 4SD (don't remember which one, sorry) that this fight was the moment that Ashton realized just how invested with this new group they had become. The moment he couldn't protect his friends was the moment he realized that he finally had the family he'd been missing... and by then three of them (Orym, Laudna, and Fearne - probably the PCs Ash was closest to at the time) were dead.

Not only could Ashton not protect his friends, he also ran. He left his friends behind and half of them ended up getting killed. I think Ashton may feel they left their friends for dead in that moment, the same way the Nobodies left him for dead after the Hexum Heist.

Now, I'm not sure I would necessarily equivocate these two situations - this is just where I think Ashton's head might be given recent events. I don't think he would see any significant difference between the Nobodies leaving him after his fall, and him running for his life during the Otohan fight. If I'm remembering correctly, this is also around the time that Ashton really started to double down on their "Nobody gets left behind" rule.

Now that Ash is aware of how much he cares about the other Hells, he will do absolutely anything to keep them. Bell's Hells is too invested in the fight against Ludinus to turn back, and Ashton is never going to leave them again. So if the Hells won't abandon the fight, and Ash won't abandon the Hells, their only option is to get strong enough to keep their friends safe.

So of course Ashton took the Shard of Rau'shan when Fearne didn't want it. No one else seemed able or willing to take it, so Ashton charged ahead with his decision the way he tends to do.

Was it arrogant and hubristic? YES. Was it a power-hungry thing to do? YES. Was it wrong to keep it secret from the rest of the group? YES. But there's not a single force in Exandria that will make Ashton regret taking that shard if it helps him protect his friends even a little bit.

It also feels fitting to me that one of the few things Ashton can't protect them from is his own poor decision making.

#also i think ashton wildly overestimated his ability to survive absorbing the shard #he's already survived so many things that should have killed them #he was told multiple times before this that it was a miracle he was anywhere near functional #why not throw more nonsense into the mix? #i will be chewing on this genasi forever #ashton greymoore #cr3 #cr3 e77 #critical role spoilers #meta #long post #critical role #i have so many thoughts about ashton

[utilitycaster]

The thing with Imogen saying that she's normal there is that, heartbreakingly, it's not true.

She's less abnormal...because instead of being one low-level young woman with psionic powers in a rural town, she's a relatively high-level young woman in a rural town that has been under the thumb of an Imperium that wields those same powers as a means of control. She's "normal" to the Bormodos because she has a similar powerset to the military police and to the Ruby Vanguard, with whom they're all too familiar. And, to be clear, she is not using those powers to oppress them—she's in fact using them quite brilliantly to blend in and betray them—but that still sets her apart.

I've wondered a lot about what will happen with Imogen's powers, and what she wants, because that's been the leverage that Ludinus and the Imperium have had on the Ruidusborn. Imogen started this campaign searching for a way to be normal. That was how Liliana started on her path as well. That was the selling point she made to Imogen when she was contacted in her dreams: "In a brief instant, you remember what it was like to not be like this, to just be you."

And yet: that same episode, Laudna tells Imogen she always could, gods or no gods, just be herself, and still, Imogen continues on. She embraces her powers, even willingly taking off a circlet she initially called life-changing because those powers could allow her to foresee potentially risky actions from the rest of the party (though, to her credit, she has not used this, and from a metagaming perspective it is unlikely she really ever could). Her first two times connecting with Predathos, in dreams and then on the surface, are entirely willing. She boasts to Groon that she is the storm; she is excited by her connection with Fearne.

And yet: she's exclaims how she's normal, here in a town where she is quite literally an alien, and where the overwhelming majority do not share her powers. Her speed to claim a connection to her powerful mother is understandable for the party's survival, but she does not seem to show reluctance to do so, despite the possibility of this getting back to Liliana. She's normal on Ruidus: a place that wishes to pull her in and she fears she will never escape it.

Like her mother, Imogen can't decide: does she want to be normal or special? Should she join or run?

It's hard to define what "normal" would even be for Imogen. I think at this point giving up her powers would feel like giving up a part of her; at the same time, the only place for her to be truly "normal" is within the Vanguard. The place she feels the most like she belongs is when she's being sucked in by Predathos, and she doesn't want that either.

And that's valid! Even with control over her powers, they will always give her insights others simply can't gain. And even on Ruidus, the place that made her, she will be a foreigner and something they wish to use. She is, in fact, caught between places; neither is entirely home. But I think to accept that, instead of eternally bouncing between the two (as Liliana does) she needs to realize it, and to realize it she will need to look at it from the perspective not just of the people on Ruidus who have powers like hers; but from those on Ruidus who don't.

#imogen temult #cr spoilers #critical role #yes very narrative foils with ashton indeed

[socallmedaisy]

Laudna has been quiet since they were shown to guest rooms in the Castle for the night. Imogen recognises the silence; it usually means Laudna is lost in her own thoughts, or maybe today it's memories of this place, only now she has no way of knowing exactly what Laudna is thinking about. 

She's glad of that, truly, but there are times like this when she misses it, just a little. 

They're sharing a bed like they always do, Imogen curled into Laudna, Laudna bent towards her like a flower reaching for the light, their hands joined loosely between them, the tips of Laudna's fingers caught up in Imogen's. Fearne is breathing deep and steady in the other bed—none of them had said anything, but when the guards had shown them to two guest rooms, the three of them had walked purposefully into one of them and shut the door behind them before anyone else could follow—and Imogen inches her head forward, squeezes Laudna's fingers until Laudna's eyes flicker open to look at her. 

(It's the biggest tell she's not really asleep; when she is, her eyes are open.)

Imogen glances towards Fearne's bed, then taps a finger against her own temple and arches an eyebrow in a question, and waits for Laudna to nod her consent before she joins their minds together. 

Are you alright? Imogen tries to keep her thoughts gentle, like maybe Laudna will startle. She bites her lip and then asks the second part of her question, the one that's been rolling around in the pit of her stomach since they were getting ready for bed in silence. Since she was mean to a man who had done nothing other than share his name with a boy Laudna used to know. Did I do something? 

What? Laudna's thought comes back at once, not quite as gentle. No, I—

Imogen forces herself to wait, watches Laudna shake her head imperceptibly against the pillow. 

Laudna frowns. It's just this place. And—

And what? Imogen asks, anxiety twisting in her chest, when no more words come. 

I don't like being here. But I don't think I hate it. And I certainly don't hate the de Rolos. But she does. And sometimes I'm not sure how much of what I'm feeling about this place is me and how much of it is… not me. Laudna meets her eyes again, unblinking and then looks away quickly, like she's ashamed. Imogen hates it, instantly. 

It must be hard to come back to the place where— Imogen swallows, To come back here, after everything that happened. I don't think you have to have your feelings all neatly sorted out. I'm not sure anyone could given the circumstances. 

She swallows the urge to say she's not sure how she feels about this place either, how last time she was here and Laudna wasn't and it was one of the worst times of her life. 

Laudna doesn't say anything, but she does tighten her grip on Imogen's fingers, and after a second she dips her head forward so she can press her mouth against the tips of them. It makes Imogen shiver. 

I thought that's what we could do later, Laudna says eventually, and for a second Imogen is so focused on Laudna kissing her fingers she thinks Laudna means something else entirely. Go to try to find the good parts of Whitestone, if I can remember any. I thought it might help. She shifts on the bed, her knees bumping up against Imogen's. 

Finally, Laudna glances up at her, through her lashes. Imogen releases a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. 

But then after what happened with Andrew I'm not sure I should let you loose on anyone else I remember or who might remember me. There's a spark in Laudna's eye when she says it, her sing song lilt back in Imogen's head, and Imogen huffs out a breath, embarrassed. 

Can you blame me for defending you? If I ever meet that kid—

Darling, Laudna cuts in, leaning forward quickly, you realise you don't have to make up for every bad thing that ever happened to me? I already have you. That's enough. 

Imogen swallows, hard, and tangles her fingers more tightly with Laudna's. I wish you wouldn't say stuff like that when we're sharing a room. She wonders if her thought might have sounded breathless in Laudna's head. She hopes it did, hopes Laudna knows exactly how it makes Imogen feel when she says things like that. 

Laudna's eyes flick over towards the other bed again. Fearne can't hear us—

I know, but it makes me want to kiss you so bad. 

For half a second, she can't believe she said it, but then Imogen watches Laudna's pale cheeks grow a shade darker and she's glad she did. 

Oh, Laudna thinks. She shifts again, and it brings her even closer, her lips inches from Imogen's. Imogen watches Laudna's eyes flick down then back up to meet Imogen's gaze.  Maybe just once couldn't hurt. 

Imogen silences the voice that says it's a bad idea and darts forward to close the space between them at once, her fingers nudging Laudna's chin up to meet her. She presses her lips to Laudna's softly, almost afraid to move, but not wanting it to end, her forehead coming to rest against Laudna's before she breaks the contact. 

They stay there, savouring the closeness. 

I'm glad you're here, Laudna says in her head, and the thought is soft like a secret. Always, but especially today. 

Imogen presses her forehead a little closer and nods against Laudna's cold skin. I'm glad you're here too. 

#imodna #critical role #cr spoilers #fic #ship: together either way #i just needed them to talk about their feelings okay #the thought of them in whitestone just makes me crazy #ficlet

[topaz-mutiny]

I think the fans are underestimating how differently people can process things.

I am consistently seeing posts say "Ashton/Tal were repeatedly warned the shard was not for them/will 100% kill them", when this was absolutely not the case, and, more importantly, it is very likely for groups of people to completely misinterpret the warnings. Even if they've known each other and loved each other for a decade.

I certainly thought the warnings were not clear or frequent enough so I was shocked like lightning in the latest episode that they were meant to be absolute death flags.

Please note that I'll mostly refer to the fictional characters, I don't want to bring the people behind the characters too much into this.

First, I would like to point out, the show takes place over weeks and months with plenty of breaks and interruptions. That is plenty of time and opportunity for memories to get faded, muddled, crossed-over with other memories, etc.

The "warnings" happened two weeks to a month ago. And even when they were fresh on the cast's mind, here are the warnings verbatim (bold is my emphasis):

But be warned, holding the strength of the two in one vessel might sunder it. You bear the dormant strength of the empress. Find and bestow the might of the emperor.

- Evontra'vir, episode 74, aired October 5th. The conversations move on to unrelated things with no followup.

Ashton: He also said it might be dangerous for these two shards to intermingle. Or he didn't say dangerous, he said that-- it could destroy me. Orym: --A chance the vessel could break. Laudna: --The vessel <air quotes> could break. Fearne: Wasn't there something if you put them together with the right thing that it'll be okay? Ashton: It might come together and be okay, yeah. -- Dancer: Maybe if it were to meet one of its own ilk, it could awaken. Allura: What you said as a point of warning likely is true. To have both within a singular vessel, it's possible one could survive, but it's also highly possible that it would rend you into a thousand pieces. -- Allura: We're in a strange area of experimentation and unknown knowledge. -- (after finding out Ashton has a fascimile of a Luxon beacon in their brain) FCG: So he's got two things in him or them? Allura: It would seem, which is why I'm a bit--Well, you're either the greatest weapon we could hope for in this time, or will be our end. I couldn't tell you. Orym: Boy, maybe we don't add a third thing. Ashton: I was put together by bits and pieces. This was not an intentional thing and it, I honestly shouldn't have survived it. It was, literally, I was put together with junk. Allura: In an odd way, your fragmented nature might be what keeps all of this in check. ... Perhaps we don't put another powerful entity within your form.

- Various, episode 76, aired October 19th.

To me, these warnings were not clear in the slightest.

To me, these warnings were interspersed with so many words like "possible", "might", and "chance" that I completely misinterpreted the situation as "For Ashton it is dangerous but doable" instead of "The Game Master is telling you Ashton's character sheet will be ripped up."

This is the problem with using in-character voices and using descriptors that imply chance or flexibility. They can drastically weaken the meaning of a phrase such that people like me will mistake it for something else.

Because that's how my brain works. "May", "chance", "perhaps" suggest to me a reasonable set of odds for an action and does not come across as the grave warning a game master would want.

And as a reminder, these muddled warnings were weeks apart and weeks away, which can make remembering the meaning even worse if you've already misinterpreted them. That's why I was 100% on board with Ashton taking the shard. It seemed reasonable but dangerous, so when Matt said "I warned you." in that grave tone and with that grave look I was thrown for a loop. I went "oh no! those were serious warnings!?" and the panic started setting in.

Also a contributing factor was the pressure and lack of communication from Bells Hells.

Fearne did not want the shard, and finally stated that thought aloud to Ashton. For Fearne and Ashton, that meant the only choice left was Ashton, because, for one reason or another, the 5 other people in Bells Hells repeatedly assumed and pushed the shard onto Fearne and wrote themselves out of the equasion. FIVE characters absolved themselves of being active participants. Once the idea of Fearne came to mind and this Emperor Fearne/Empress Ashton/Callowmoore shipping dicotomy, Bells Hells just stopped talking about it and never once considered if any of them should take the shard should Fearne refuse.

So... yeah that's how my brain works.

#critical role #cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #c3e77 #ashton greymoore #fearne calloway #bells hells #evontra'vir #taliesin jaffe #matthew mercer #communication breakdown #tl;dr Bells Hells needs to talk to each other more instead of just assuming how things will be #do you want explosions and dead PCs? that's how you get explosions and dead PCs. #people will think differently and can misinterpret what you say #even this loving group of 8 people can misinterpret each other despite being together for like a decade #tbh I thought the shard going to Orym would've been ideal #I might repost this for the Monday crew idk