#feel free to badger me about this bunch of anyone else

[card-queen]

Burnout

It got me.

I got burned out on my novel. So I've decided to switch tack and do some work on my mystery game.

I may invoke old ask games just to answer them with the Accessories cast. Pictures and stuff below the cut

I've cobbled together some quick, simple art to use in a temp RPG Maker project to test the puzzles, clue distribution and general pacing, but I think it's pretty neat. Here's Stella, Ilya & Lilah, plus Eliot (who isn't recruitable in this portion of the game, so that's why he's facing the other way)

And some rough images of two side characters: August & Joshua

The Squad

#gem art #accessories to murder #game talk #feel free to badger me about this bunch of anyone else #I started scripting things and realised how long this is gonna take #but if i can whip up over a hundred proxy images in two days #I can write hundreds of lines of dialogue too

[a-simple-imagine]

Misunderstandings

Requested by anonymous: The whole school knows you’re planning to go to Hogsmeade and rumors of who you’ll be asking to go with you spread fare and wide. But things don’t quite go to plan and so instead you find yourself studying all weekend and a very determined and apologetic Hermione Granger following you around

Pairing: Hermione Granger x fem!reader

Words: 2.2k+

A/N- The more stories I write about Hermione, the less confident I feel. I always feel like there is something missing or they’re getting worse but alas, I do hope that whoever requested this does it enjoy it. 

Warnings - Prejudice, minor bullying 

The sound of childhood giggles and idle conversations echoed through the corridors of Hogwarts school. Hiking Pansy Parkinson further up your back, you charge through the sea of students; first years and fifth years alike also on their way to have dinner in the great hall. Slipping between them with surprising grace as you raced an invisible clock.

"Times running out" your fellow Slytherin whispers in your ear. Had it not been for sharing a dorm room, you probably wouldn't be friends with Pansy. She had never been the nicest of girls to pretty much anyone who wasn't in her immediate circle of friends. And her friends were also stuck-up purebloods who thought they were better than everyone else.

"We're nearly there," you choke out, Pansy's arm pressing dangerously tight against your neck. "You're just heavy."

"I am not," she growls playfully earning herself a giggle. A glorious smell titillates your tastebuds signaling you're almost at your goal. This race was as good as won and you couldn't wait to rub it in Pansy's smug little face. Proving once and for all that you were strong and could carry her from the dungeons to the great hall without dropping her.

"Stop!" Busted. You come to an abrupt stop almost smashing into two Gryffindor boys who had also thought the instructions were for them. "Put down Miss Parkinson, please." Pansy slips down off your back and you both turn to see A displeased Professor McGonagall staring back. "If I find either of you running around the corridors with reckless abandon again I will take points from Slytherin house, do you understand?"

"Yes," You both bow your heads as a sign of apology mumbling out a quick Sorry Professor. Scurrying off around the corner and out of sight of the dread teacher, Pansy immediately jumps up onto your back and you continue your journey. It's a little clumsier this time, students harder to avoid as they move together like a herd of sheep. Slowing down as you reach your destination, Pansy shoves a little Slytherin to the floor. In her defense, the girl was in the way but Parkinson didn't have to be so rough. Making a mental note to apologise later, you drop the girl at the threshold but not without strangling you a little on the way down. One hand runs over the delicate skin of you neck, as the other shoots up in celebration. "I am triumphant,"

With a less than favourable look, the Raven-haired Slytherin's head shakes slowly. "You dropped me."

"Yeah but only because McGonagall made me," you protest, arms falling. "so it doesn't count."

"It does count." You shove her forward, watching her stumble into the hall as you follow behind.

"It does not- that's not fair," Pansy looks back to you with a mischievous sparkle in her eye. It was a look you knew all too well. She was trying to get a rise out of you.

"You dropped me," Her hands connect to your side, pushing you back. "So you lose. Just face facts that you're a loser,"

The argument falls short at the sound of your name. With a roll of your eyes, you're met by two giddy students you didn't know. One was short with long blond hair and ugly wide framed glasses. She was still wearing her Raven claw robe. The other was taller than her friend but still short; her brunette hair was pulled into a messy bun and she had a badger clip keeping stray strands at bay. You reckon they're first or second years. Either that or you're more ignorant than once thought. "What's up?"

"Word around the school is that you're going to Hogsmeade this weekend?" The little Ravenclaw spoke first. Pansy comes up behind you, slumping an arm around your shoulder. The two girls backed up just a little.

"Who told you that?" You wonder. The whole school always seemed to know your business. The two of them giggle between themselves.

"It was Hannah," the Hufflepuff blurts out; at least you assume that's her house.

"Hufflepuff Hannah?" You ask and they nod. You didn't know a lot of Hufflepuff's personally but Hannah was one you'd come across more than once.

"She also said you're planning to ask someone," your heart stops. "The forbidden one?"

"We think it's Harry Potter," The blonde comments and you relax a little. Of course, they would assume it was Harry of all people. "I mean he is the chosen one after all. And for him to be with a Slytherin? well, that would shock everyone,"

"Yeah," her little Hufflepuff friend agrees. "Apparently Harry wanted nothing to do with Slytherin when he first came here."

You chuckle; exchanging an amused look with Pansy. "I am going to Hogsmeade yeah but not with Potter- now if you'll excuse us."

Removing her arm, you pull Parkinson away before the conversation can continue. "So you like potter?"

"No," you shake your head. "At least not in that way. I'm not going to Hogsmede with him if that's what you're getting at."

"You can just admit it- I won't tell anyone."

"Yes you will," It'd be stupid to trust Pansy with information like that before telling the forbidden one yourself. "You'll tell everyone," With an extra hard shove, she stumbles into none other than Draco Malfoy. He was someone you had trouble getting along with. Before you get an earful, you slip into the crowd and make your way to the Gryffindor table while Pansy deals with the spoilt rich kid.

"Hey Hermione," Her name drifts from your lips as you slide in next to her. Her brown hair was pulled up into a bun and she had her head buried deep in a book; her brow crinkled adorably as she focuses.  "Ron," you nod your head towards him as he takes a bite of sausage. And then you turn to the most famous wizard you would probably ever know. "And... don't tell me... it begins with an H... Henry Porter right?"

"We were just talking about your," Ron announces.

"All good things I hope- I'm not crushing on the chosen one."

"What brings you here?" There is a chill behind her voice, once that suggested you weren't welcome. You didn't read too much into it, she probably just didn't want you to disturb her.

"She's allowed to sit with us Hermione," Ron jumps to your defense.

"I'm going to Hogsmeade this week and I was thinking, that maybe we could go together? If you want to like?" You grab a goblet and begin pouring yourself a drink. "I mean Hermione by the way. Not you, Ron- No offence or Henry over there."

"You know my name is Harry,"

"Is it? my bad, I'm awful with names." It was always fun messing with the chosen one. Everyone knew who he was, he was a legend after all although he wasn't all that impressive up close.

"I can't," Hermione states firmly drawing all attention to her as she snaps her book shut. "I have to study for our upcoming potions test. Considering some of the grades you've received since returning, I would advise you to do less gallivanting and more studying."

You had never gotten the best grades but you were in no way failing and for her to suggest such a thing was a little mean. "You know what?  you're right, maybe I will hit the books instead."

"We could-"

"I'll see if Cho is free this weekend," you suggest, slapping your hands against the table and rising to your feet. "She's really smart."

"Cho Chang?" Harry perks up. You wonder how many other people he knew with the name Cho to ask such a silly question.

"Harry's got a massive crush on her," Ron snidely adds, struggling to hold back his devilish bark of laughter.

"Seriously," Cho Chang was arguably way out of his league but it was still amusing. "I can't really blame you, she is cute. I'll put in a good word for you." And with that, you take your leave.

Cho Chang was an older, well known Ravenclaw. Beautiful and with a heart of gold. The two of you had become pretty good friends since your first year and her second so it was no surprise that she agreed to help you out.

Study hall was the bane of your existence. It was almost always incredibly boring and you found sitting in complete silence with a bunch of other students rather awkward. Today you were working alongside Cho as she takes you step by step through the Goblin Rebellions.

"Can I have a word?" The tapping on your shoulder was from Hermione, who you briefly glance at before turning back to your work.

"What?"

"I just... can we talk in private?"

"Why?" You bite back quietly.

Please?" With a heavy sigh, you apologise to Cho and follow Hermione. She takes you far enough away from the hall as to not disturb anyone.

"Well?" You huff, leaning against the wall.

"I wanted to apologise for the other day,"

"You're gonna have to be more specific?"

"You're not a bad student by any means," Her gaze drops to the floor. "I should not have brushed you off the way I did."

"It's whatever," you shrug. "Is that all? I have studying to do."

"No," she answered quickly, you meet the uncertainty in her eyes. "...when I said you should study too I didn't think you'd ask Chang."

"Why do you care who I study with?" You sound more defensive than intended. "You didn't want to hang out anyway."

"That's not true," Hermione mumbles softly. "I was kinda hoping to study together but you were so quick on the defensive-"

"Because you basically called me stupid when all I did was ask you out."

"That's not entirely accurate," Hermione fires back. "I never called you stupid."

"You implied it," you growl. "so sorry I'm not smart enough for you,"

"You know I didn't mean it like that

"Do I?" You ask. "I'd invite you to study with us but we're probably not on your level." Without giving her a chance to reply, you walk away.

"Everything okay?" Cho asks as you return to the table.

"Just dandy," You offer her a smile, sitting back down beside her and picking up your quill. "Shall we continue?"

The following Friday, you walk into the great hall alongside Millicent and Pansy; listening to Parkinson drone on about how funny it was to watch a first-year fall flat on their face. Sitting down, you chat idly when Hermione takes a seat next to Pansy who looks nothing short of disgusted. Shoving Crabbe further up the bench so she could move away from her. "Are you avoiding me?"

"What makes you think that?" You don't bother looking at her as you take a sip of water.

"We don't want dirty witches like you here," Pansy spat.

"Don't worry Pans, you won't catch anything," You never understood her distaste for muggle-borns.

"I apologised so can we go back to being friends or something?"

"You want to be friends with someone like me?"

"I'm sorry okay," she blurts out. "Really sorry."

"This is kinda sad to watch." Millicent comments. "Didn't you like her not too long ago?"

"Yeah until The mudblood called her stupid, keep up."

"Pansy," you growl, shooting her a glare. "Don't call her that,"

"I'm going to Hogsmeade this weekend, maybe we could go together like you wanted?" Hermione suggested abruptly drawing the attention back. "Ron explained what you actually meant when you invited me. He also seems perplexed that you aren't in love with Harry."

"Him and just about everyone else at this school," you chuckle. "why would you want to go with me?"

"Because I... I like you,"

Pansy and Millicent snicker to themselves and you can't help but smile. "I'm sorry I didn't quite hear that."

"I like you,"

"You what?" You ask loudly; forging confusion.

"I..." The red of her cheeks betrayed all her attempts to act like this wasn't embarrassing for her. But after what happened last week, she kind of deserves it. "Like you too okay? When you invited me I thought it was no big deal not that you wanted to go on a date." She practically shouts, surprising you and everyone else who had decided to listen in on the conversation. "You don't have to come with me, it's... fine."

She scampers you her feet and tried to walk away.

"Hermione," you call out. The girl comes to a stop, turning back to you. She can't look you in the eye, it was almost sweet. "We should go together."

Your friends are struggling I hold back their laughter so you elbow Millicent in the side. "Really? you're not mad anymore?"

"Never was," You admit although it wasn't entirely true. I'm the moment it had but you quickly got over it's "it wasn't a big deal. I just like pushing your buttons."

"Okay. Well- great then," she coughs awkwardly. "So Saturday then? Yeah."

It's like Hermione can't get away fast enough. Perhaps she was worried if she stayed around much longer you'd change your mind or maybe she just wanted to get away from your awful friends. "So you're really going with Hermione of all people,"

"I am," you nod, your lips curled up in a triumphant smile. "And I wouldn't have it any other way so shut up and eat your food, Pansy."

#Hermione Granger x reader #hermione granger #harry potter #Hermione x reader #hermione granger imagine

[vylequinnewriting]

hannah’s oc fill in the blank tag game

Thanks for the tag, @jin-doodles! This was a fun and a big help. Now there’s a confirmed Skulf for MaK! Think of a direwolf that likes wearing bones like armor. They’re cute, like wolves, but also scary, like wolves.

Rules: choose an oc and have them fill in the blanks of the following statements ( created by @hannahs-creations) 

I’m choosing Shiloh from Making a Killing for this.

---

I am inspired by Canel, but don’t tell the kid I said that. I got a reputation, after all.

I think that I am easily angered because everyone seems to know how to tick me off.

I have often been told I am too violent. I don’t let them get a another word if they say that.

I love a lot about myself, which probably stems from the fact I’m my own best friend..

When I am up late at night, I am usually thinking about what I could have done better in the past.

My favorite thing to do in my free time is go out with friends.

I really dislike people looking down on me because they don’t know how easy it is to bring their knees down to the ground.

I find that working tends to distress me.

I think I am unique because my magic is literally a single damn thread but I damn, do I make it work.

My most common emotion tends to be anger. Why? Who’s askin’?!

I really hate when people don’t listen to me.

I find working for someone else to be rich to be tedious and feel the world would be better without it.

If I could get rid of any food in its entirety, it would be anything that ain’t sweet.

I think a honey badger would be my spirit animal because we’re both flashy and relentless.

I believe I can beat any member of the Board because I haven’t lost yet.

I feel anxious about this game. A bunch of innocent questions did put me in this predicament, ya know.

I have one pet. Some bastard brought a Skulf here and didn’t know it ain’t a fan of most people. Maggie’s a fan of me, thankfully. Got the bitemarks to prove it.

I [am/am not] afraid of commitment because I don't know when I’ll end up sleeping with the Striders. Wouldn’t want them getting hurt either.

If I became a villain, it would be because I gave up and started listening to Paze Duhl.

If I became a hero, it would be because people thought my methods didn’t matter compared to the end result.

I consider myself to be an antihero. 

I think I am the main character of my own story

I wish I could just go back. I’m getting tired of this.

If I could kill one person without getting into trouble, it would be Paze Duhl. Don’t worry about that. I’m already making plans.

I find that people that don’t trust me are really stupid. And usually very, very wrong.

---

I’m tagging @akindofmagictoo, @ashen-crest​, and anyone else that wants to participate!

Here’s a link to the original post!

#making-a-killing #writeblr #wip #writing #creative writing #work in progress #writing community #vylequinne

[gillianaunofficial]

i saw, that you were asking for jean fic ideas and was wondering if you could write a jean x reader one where the reader works at Otis' school and they constantly butt their heads together over the smallest things and end up making out? ♡

I’m sorry but this turned into just straight up kinky dubcon smut. Like how did that happen? No idea. Sorry.

AO3

Rating: E for Everything Seems To Turn Into Sex

Forbidden Fruit

You saw her at the assembly, so full of herself, so articulate with her words and so effortlessly beautiful. After that you began to see her about the school, parading around in jumpsuits, chinos or floor length dresses. She had this way with the kids, even though they’d all laughed at her. She was charismatic in a way that you were surprised she wasn’t actually in a teaching position. She ate lunch in her room, the times she was there, she generally didn’t speak to the other teachers unless she was spoken to. Apart from the very few times you herself had spoken to her.

It was raining buckets outside, the majority of the students vying to stay inside out of fear of ruining their hair or the colour bleeding in their shirts. The canteen was heaving with kids, not just kids, most of the teachers had amassed there as well. You weren’t really friends with any of them, Miss Sands and Mr Hendrix seemed to spend a lot of time either joined at the hip or as far apart as possible. Most of the other teachers were… Boring. To say the least. You held your lunch in your hands, a blue plastic box containing a chicken salad, in your other hand you held a Chilly's bottle. All the other teachers had them, you’d really only bought one to fit in more. You walk over to the teacher’s table and yet it was full, a student badgering Mr Hendrix about a lost trombone. You sigh and walk out of the canteen, intending to go and sit alone in the staff room, maybe check your Tinder messages to look for a hookup. As you think about how to spend your lunch hour you nearly walk slap bang into a woman, you quickly apologise before realising who it is.

“Dr. Milburn.” You say, to her as she stares you down. It seems to be a mutual dislike. She pulls a smile from somewhere.

“I see you have nowhere to sit.” She says, slowly, with a lick of her lips. Something about this makes your blood boil. “Would you like to sit in my office, I’d like to get to know anyone here a little better.” You nod, she would probably dislike the time spent with you as much as you would.

Her room is spacious, an old history classroom, chairs piled on desks in front of a scribbled on chalkboard. She gestures to you to take a seat opposite, you do.

“What’s your name?” She asks.

“Y/N.” You reply, uncomfortable as you open your lunch.

“So, Y/N, what do you teach?” Jean says, leaning back in her seat. The neckline of her shirt reveals just a hint of cleavage. Your shoulders tense at the image.

“French.” You reply.

“Ah, the language of love.” She says slowly, her eye contact piercing as she watches you open your lunchbox. She waits. “You don’t like me very much, do you?” You furrow your eyebrows, surprised at her ability to figure that out.

“How did you know?” You ask, just a little curious.

“Y/N, I’m a trained psychologist, I can tell when someone doesn’t like me.” Jean sighs. You roll your eyes.

“You don’t like me much either though, do you?” You retort, replacing the lid on your salad, suddenly you’d lost your appetite but a craving for something else had set it. Jean stays silent, still inquisitive.

“You know why I don’t like you?” You ask, holding her stony gaze.

“Why?” She asks, placing her hands in front of her, fingers laced together. You take notice of the short fingernails. You lean forward, lowering your voice to a whisper despite there being no one else in the vicinity.

“Because, Jean, you’re so very full of yourself.” You savour each word and Jean almost chuckles.

“And you’re not?” She replies, her face mere centimetres from yours, her breath tickling your face. You don’t reply and she closes the gap between you, one hand grabbing your shoulder, bunching the chiffon of your shirt. Her tongue is in your mouth and you push back, your own hands finding her across the desk, bunching in her hair, maybe this was the one night stand you were looking for. You get up and both stumble backwards, desperately kissing each other, her teeth catch on your bottom lip and you almost gasp at the sensation. She flips around and becomes the lead, pushing you down onto an empty table, grasping to close the blinds so the few people that were outside wouldn’t be able to see their french teacher making out with their “sex education counsellor.” As soon as the blinds are shut, you reach for the buttons on her blue shirt, quickly pulling it off as she stands above you, your legs in between hers. As soon as the shirt is unbuttoned you begin to kiss her chest, relishing the taste of her skin, the feeling of her collar bone between your lips. She pushes you back down and begins to kiss your neck, leaving lipstick smears on your skin.

“Jean…” You moan in indignation, you’ll have to wash that off before class. She presses against you and begins to unbutton your shirt, you arch against her and find a hand grasped in her hair as you push her head against you. She fumbles for the clasp of your bra, nuzzling the curve of your boob as you let the bra fall from your body. You’re certainly glad that there’s no CCTV in this school.

“Do you like that?” She says as she locks her plush lips around your nipple, you feel it harden in her mouth.

“Yes.” You moan, grabbing at her for more. You look down at the erotic sight of Jean Milburn, sex therapist, sucking your nipples. She brings a hand to your other boob, running a finger across your hardening nipple before clamping it between her fingers, you moan and you feel her shiver at the sound. She begins to kiss you again and you push against her, your tongue finding her mouth and pushing against each other. Her short blonde hair hangs down, brushing the tip of your nose. Your hands find her hips, grasping onto her tight as she begins to undress you more, quickly unbuttoning your trousers and slipping a hand in between your thighs. You moan at the contact.

“Y/N, is this okay?” You nodded quickly as you feel her fingers touch your clit, dexterously manipulating your pussy, you arch against her, burying your head in her shoulder and finding her ass with her hands, when you suddenly see a shadow at the door.

“Jean.” You say, she doesn’t listen. “Jean stop. There’s someone at the door.” Jean turns to look behind her.

“Shit, shit, shit!” She says taking her hand away from your pussy, already on the edge of orgasm. “Get under my desk.” She says, zipping her jumpsuit up and passing you your bra. You nod and scramble under the desk while she goes to answer the door. You hear a man talking to her before they both sit down, not a student but a teacher, one from the science department. Suddenly you have an idea and you begin to get to work on it, unbuttoning and unzipping her maroon chinos. She glances down at you, a tiny expression of “really? But ok.” appearing on her face. She talks to the man and you pull her pants down, revealing her pussy. You kiss the edges of her thighs, leaving marks as she talks about using food in sex and light BDSM to the teacher. As she begins to talk about voyeurism you bring your face to her pussy and begin to lick her, flicking her clit with her tongue, you can feel her thighs tensing around you as you taste her slick, pink folds. Pleasuring her, unbeknownst to the other person in the room. You grab her calves with your hands and plunge your tongue into her hole, thrusting like you would with your fingers, with each push your nose just meeting her clit. You feel her getting closer. She looks down at you again and you stop for a moment as she quickly finishes the conversation with the man and kindly asks him to leave. As soon as the door clicks shut you resume fucking her with your mouth, delicate moans becoming louder emanating from deep within her as she pushed against your face, bucking her head back as she came, her juices dampening both her chair and your face. She breathes in a way that you could only describe as panting, before pulling you up to eye level by your hair. She kisses you again and you know she can taste herself on your face, something about that turns you on.

“Y/N…” she pants. “We have to do this again sometime.” You nod.

“When I have a free period.” It’s Jean’s turn to nod as she pulls her maroon chinos back up, fastening them around her waist. You stand and look at her, putting your bra on and buttoning up your shirt.

“Maybe you’re less full of yourself than I thought.” You say, beginning to leave the room. “See you later, Doctor Milburn.” She raises an eyebrow and you exit her room, a breathy smile on your face, your unempty lunchbox clasped in your hands, Mr Groff walks past and gives you a funny look as you shut the door to Jean’s room. You may not have eaten your lunch but you did definitely eat something. And that something was far better than chicken salad.

#sex education #sex ed #se #jean milburn #jean x reader #jean milburn x reader #anonymous #prompts #fic #mine

[scienceteamherder]

The Black Mesa Prison Break AU

Welcome to the reason this Sideblog exists, my AU cause I’ve fallen, way to far. 

First off we have  Notable Differences: 

- not a game 

- benry WILL live to the end and beyond 

-no resonance cascade 

- everyone is one of Black Mesa's experiments

Now, Character Lineups: Gordos Feetman! Recently hit rock bottom trans man, he lost his right arm to a car crash and his son to his parents following a breakdown. He's picked as the unwitting test subject for the limb regrowth potion. When he wakes up from the pain nap and sees his arm is a gun he freaks the fuck out and it goes off, freeing...  (Powers include: Gun.)

Bubby! An experiment into raising spare scientists from adulthood and cutting out the child stage all together. With some funky powers to make him more durable, even more feral then cannon.  (Powers include: Pyrokenisis, Immunity to Fire and a moderate boost of strength)

Dr. Coomer! Not actually a doctor he just likes to say that. Had to drop out of collage after his ex wife took everything he had. Fell into debt and signed his life away to black Mesa. Legally declared dead. Still super upbeat. Is even stronger now, do not let him pat you on the back you'll go flying. Enhancements left a little brain damage so now he repeats shit a lot (Powers include: Super strength in all limbs, ability to extend arms. Extremely smart, Immunity to electicity)

Tommy! Half human half.... something else. Was found in an orphanage at the age of 7 after he brought his dog back to life, apparently immortal, and made a man vanish from existence for beating it to death in the first place. Incredibly powerful, very little control because he's kept too sedated to learn best friends with...  (Powers include: Reality warp, levitation, Black Mesa Sweet Voice, Intuitive understanding of all language. Being a Good Boi:tm:)

Benry! Born to two black Mesa employees and given up to the company, Benry's experiment predates Bubby but ultimately they kept him to see what their fiddling had done. Along with what Black Mesa did to him expositor to Tommy since he was small has given him some funky abilities. Black Mesa Sweet Voice started with him and the organ that lets him do that was surgically implanted in a bunch of other people. He's still got the helmet. The only thing his parents left for him (Powers include: Intangibility, Black Mesa Sweet Voice, Minor strength increase. Immunity to Fire and Electricity. Skeletons.) G-Man! Tommy’s Something Else parent. Left him at the orphanage because he didn’t think he was capable of raising him. Regrets that he missed out on Tommy’s life, Only features for the end and past that. (Reality Warp.)

Sunkist! Tommy’s Pubby! Escaped when Tommy was still little and learned they were going to try and cut her open, distress activated his powers and let her escape. Has been trying to figure out a way to rescue him since. (Being the Perfect Dog, Black Mesa Sweet Voice, Immortality)

Now we’re onto! Key Events: Gordon is kidnapped after hitting his lowest point, seen as someone no one will miss and already missing a limb. Gets antiquated with the Science Team who are all in the same lab sector. Benry makes the Passport Joke.

Gordon drinks the potion and wakes up with a gun attached to his arm, panics and ends up killing the scientists around him and freeing the others  The group agrees to escape together, except Benry never actually says he wants to leave he just follows. Tommy ends up shaking off the last of the sedation and straight up wills a man out of existence.  Tommy’s powers end up out of control in a shootout and Benry has to calm him down. This happens multiple times.  Gordon’s gun ends up falling apart, leaving his stump badly burned and him severely weakened. The Team Don’t Abandon him since he’s dragged their asses this far to safety.  Benry starts getting antsy about leaving.  Their almost out when Benry has a panic attack and ends up lashing out with all his powers, including ones he ended up picking up from the once again unsedated Tommy. When the battle is over Gordon and Tommy refuse to leave him behind just cause he was scared. Gordon carries him.

G-Man finds them in the desert, and rescues them all because he still feels bad about loosing Tommy. They don’t have to worry about Black Mesa Anymore

Post Breakout Stuff:

It takes a while to reality bend Tommy, Benry and Bubby into legal existence, Much less time to reality bend Coomer back to life though, While they wait on that the group lives with Gordon, and by the time its done their all used to being around each other so they just, move into a bigger house

Gordon gets Joshie back! The Science Team Helped.

Gordon’s new prosthetic is a group effort, it works a shitton better then his old one. Its got an assassins creed style blade in it. Benry insisted.

They get to relax because Black Mesa suddenly is a lot less real for everyone else. Other Details: There is a lot of being carried in this au. I like people carrying others.  Benry’s completely pronoun indifferent and doesn’t really think about gender to much

Tommy’s a demiboy because I thought it was funny if the demigod was demigender

Bubby’s last name ends up being Sharp. He was put on the spot. 

Tommy/Gordon/Benry is the main ship in this thing. 

Frozon is the man who ended up kidnapping Gordon and later was the man Tommy unexistified. He had a similar past to Benry but was raised in another lab sector.  The way Tommy’s freakouts work is Reality just starts to go Wrong. Basically, imagine if during an overstim episode, things began to glitch and warp and actually go as wrong as you see them, throw in some eldrich flavoring and anyone who isn't a safe person basically having their hearts exploded if they get to close, and you have Tommy's freakouts

And thats all the important shit. Feel free to badger me with questions I am literally dying for it. 

#Hlvrai #BMPB Au #Long Post #AU Explination #Benry/Gordon/Tommy #My Writing

[freckled-words]

Repost: Haunted Anxiety

This was originally requested by a follower, who I do not remember the name of and did not keep in my Google Doc. If you remember being the person that requested this, two years ago, your story still lives on!!

I do not recall if this is edited :D

Anti was relentless when he wanted something. Thankfully most of the things he wanted were small. Certain snack foods, movie marathons with cuddles, and sometimes late night walks.

For whatever reason Anti wanted to go out to a carnival that was in town. He’d caught sight of it the other night and had been badgering you to go since he came over that morning. You thought it was adorable how excited he was about it and could easily see him running around like a little kid through all the attractions. 

The only problem was that it wasn’t in your comfort zone. You’d never been one to willingly go near large crowds. The press of people and abundance of noises were overwhelming. You were prone to anxiety attacks in those situations, particularly if something unexpected happened that startled you.

Anti, in all his excitement and determination to go with you, completely forgot about this.

It took him the better part of the day but finally you reluctantly agreed. You would have felt so guilty if you’d turned him down. 

You told yourself over and over, ‘You’ll be okay. You’re with Anti, and there’ll be room to move around. It’s outdoors so you won’t be trapped. You’ll be okay.’

~~~~~`

The carnival was situated in an abandoned field outside of town. There was a ferris wheel, a haunted house, a small tunnel of love, and a bunch of food and game vendors. Just as you pictured it Anti was a ball of childish delight wanting to go from one thing to another. 

What you didn’t anticipate was Anti dragging you along behind him. He held your hand tight and made you go with him to the ferris wheel. Inside that tiny rotating booth you felt yourself calm down from your initial insecurity. You were with Anti, he wouldn’t anything bad happen to you. Just now he was leaning over the edge of the bar trying to peer down at the ground. His eyes were alive with energy as he pointed out that game booth and the churro stand. After the ferris wheel you found yourself having fun. There were times when you were crowded on all sides, particularly when you were getting something to eat, and each time you clung onto Anti. He held you close, his arm around your shoulders just thinking you wanted to be closer for the physical contact. In truth it was the security of feeling his shirt under your fingers, and the scent of mint and musk that he had to him that drove you closer. They grounded you, gave you something to focus until you got free of the throng of people.

The sun was beginning to set when Anti decided you should end the day with the haunted house. You’d been dreading it all day. Anytime you walked past it you saw people going in as a steady stream. The people controlling the attraction made sure it was no more than 10 to 15 people at a time, but there wasn’t that much room between people being let it and people coming out. 

You barely got a protest off your tongue when Anti grabbed your wrist and dragged you to the entrance. 

You tensed up going through the doorway. Fake fog swirled through the halls, the only source of lights were black lights and lasers. You could hear people laughing and joking up ahead. People crowded in behind you and there was a group of rowdy college students in front of you. 

Your eyes danced around the space trying to watch for anything or anyone that might make an attempt to scare you. Anti’s grip on your wrist let go, he pointed to a stuffed scarecrow twitching in autonomous motions, “Bet I can make it better!” Before you could tell Anti to wait he ran over to the scarecrow and slipped inside it’s electronics. You backed against the nearest wall, needing something solid to keep you steady. The throng of people inched towards the scarecrow and suddenly it was alive with movements not pre-programmed. More than a couple people let out a genuine scream and dashed onwards. 

Despite hearing Anti’s laughter you couldn’t shake off the growing feeling of being alone. You wanted to leave, you wanted to get outside and away from all the noise. The air in the house was clogged with the smell of beer, popcorn, the artificial fog, and the musk of too many people close together. 

The coast clear Anti popped out of the scarecrow. Seeing you against the wall and looking a little shaky he dropped his smile. He got in close, “Oi what's wrong?”

You shook your head. Your chest hurt and you weren't pulling in enough air, “Can we go? Please?”

Anti saw what was happening. He hasn't seen you like this in a while. But he knew what to do. Putting his arms around you he guided you over to a corner out of sight. His grip tightening he warned you, “I know ya don't like it but we’re getting you out.”

You buried your face against his chest just as you felt yourself get propelled. You really didn't like it when he glitched you places. The disorientation was bad enough, but it also had a tendency to leave your stomach back where you'd started. 

Soon enough you were out of the haunted house and the carnival grounds all together. The fresh air was welcome, as it already began to ease your overwhelmed senses. He’d taken you to the nearby baseball field. With everyone more interested in the carnival it was abandoned for the evening. 

Anti had a kind of green glow around him, providing the only source of illumination in the dark. His hands on either side of your face he asked, “Better?”

It was better. Without the feeling of eyes on you, and the lack of other stimulants your mind began to calm down and the pain in your chest began to ease. You drew air in through your nose and out through your mouth, “Better.”

Feeling more stable you mumbled, “Sorry Anti. I didn't mean to ruin your fun.”

“What the fuck are you apologizing for?” Anti was incredulous. The lights surrounding the field flickered with his spike in energy. 

“If you didn't have me with you, you could have had more time at the carnival.”

The field lights flickered brighter as Anti gawped at you, “More time? Cripes your logic!” He grabbed your hips and brought you in closer, “Now listen here. You know I can fuck off and do whatever I want whenever I want. But what I wanted to do, was spend some goddamn time doing something fun with ya. But I’m also a fucking moron and didn't think about you.”

As he ranted the lights kept up a steady pulsing. Seeing that he was done you told him, “I want to spend time with you too. I really do, it's just….not comfortable for me to be in places like that.”

“And I already knew that! My head just went up my ass getting all excited.” He put his knuckle under your chin and made sure you met his eyes, “That bit of your brain that don't like crowds is a part of ya. Same as my brain sometimes wants me to go stabbing people. You still let me hang around. I got no right to not want you around for yours.”

You'd never really thought of it that way. You’d always known Anti was dangerous, hell you knew that before you even got to know him properly. There had been times when he'd come over with black eyes and blood coating his hands. You never said anything at those times, you just waited for him to clean himself up and calm down. The black would leave his eyes and he would come to you for comfort. He didn't care that he killed people, he did care about you being scared of him. The comfort and cuddles were for him more than for you. You always gave it. 

To know that he thought of his murderous impulses the same way you thought of your anxiety disorder was rather grounding. You leaned in holding Anti properly. “Still, I want to make it up to you. Is there anything else you'd like to do tonight?”

Anti pressed a rare chaste kiss against your hair. His eyes scanned the field and he got an idea, “Lay down and watch.”

You gave him a curious smile but did as told. Laying down you watched Anti rub his hands together eagerly. The field lights died and he took off.

Changed to a current of energy he bounced between all the field lights and the score boards faster than your eye could follow. A streak of green light was left in his wake. You watched in amazement as it became an odd design but gorgeous design of green light blazing in the night sky. 

The entire time you listened to Anti hoot and holler with laughter as he just cut loose in a way you could both enjoy. 

#Antisepticeye #Repost #Haunted Anxiety #anti x reader #Reader Insert

[timetravelingheart]

Consequences Chapter Five: A.M. Imagine

I guess I probably should have included some type of warning when I started this series. I’m not much of a smut writer, but I may attempt it, and even if don’t, there will definitely be allusions to sex. My characters also swear. I don’t think there are any other warnings, but if there is anything that upsets you or you think deserves a warning, please let me know! 

_ 

“I can’t believe you convinced me to come here,” Tessa nervously ran her fingers through her hair as she and Lydia got out of Lydia’s car. 

Auston had been badgering her for weeks about going out with the guys or attending one of their parties and she had been giving excuse after excuse (some legitimate, some not so much) to not attend. Somehow, over the course of the past few weeks, it appeared that the guys on the team, Auston included, had added Lydia to their socials and decided to hit her up instead, hoping for a different answer. And Lydia, being Lydia, was definitely not going to say no to a party. 

“Oh, whatever,” Lydia brushed her off. “It’s about time you hang out with Auston again. He cleared up everything about the girl at the bar, yeah?”

“Yeah, he did, but-”

“Then no buts. Just let loose and have a good time. No one is saying you have to sleep with the guy, T. But it doesn’t hurt to make more friends.”

With that, Lydia linked her hand with Tessa’s and pulled her towards the massive double doors of the Marleaus’ house. Tessa wasn’t sure what kind of party a married couple with three young kids would be hosting on a random Sunday afternoon, but she was told to bring a bathing suit and just wear comfy clothes so she figured it couldn’t be too wild. 

Before they could ring the doorbell, a beautiful woman opened the door with a big smile on her face. Christina Marleau, Tessa realized. 

“Welcome! I’m so happy you two could make it,” Christina beamed, reaching out to pull each girl into a hug. “You must be Tessa and Lydia. I’ve heard so much about you!”

“You mean you’ve heard so much about Tessa,” Lydia laughed. “It’s okay, I’ve seen the way Auston looks at her in person, and now it’s your turn.”

Christina let out a laugh, appreciating the Lydia’s bluntness. 

“Honestly, I have been so excited,” Christina pulled each girl into the foyer of her mansion. “I have never seen him like this over a girl. He’s been talking to Patrick about you ever since you turned him down. Good for you, by the way.”

“What do you mean?” Tessa asked, following her towards what she assumed was the backyard where she could hear splashing, laughter, and music. 

“Auston is used to getting what he wants with girls. I’m not saying he abuses that ‘power’ for lack of a better word, but just that if he’s interested in a girl, there’s a 99.9% chance that she’ll be interested back, sometimes just based on his name alone. So for you to come in, know who he is, and still just say no because you felt like it - that’s almost unheard of around here.”

“I wasn’t doing it to make a point,” Tessa felt uncomfortable under this stunning woman’s gaze. “I honestly just didn’t feel like saying yes. I didn’t even know anything about him at the time, other than what he does for a career.”

“Oh, that’s not what I meant at all,” Christina offered each girl a red cup for their drinks of choice. “I just meant that it was nice to hear that there are still some young girls out there who don’t just fall at the feet of a star athlete just because. Let’s join the rest of the group, shall we?” 

Christina lead them through another set of large double doors, leading to the backyard where children were swimming and playing in the pool, and many players and their significant others were all scattered around talking and drinking. It definitely wasn’t a rager, but Tessa still felt uncomfortable. This felt intimate. She almost wished this was a kegger with a bunch of random people. 

Mitch spotted the girls before anyone else, immediately standing up from his seat and pulling yet another beautiful blonde their way. 

“Ladies!” he made his way towards them and pulled each into a big bear hug. “It’s so cool that you could finally make it to an event.”

Tessa chose to ignore the ‘finally’ comment while Lydia snorted loudly. 

“It’s so nice to finally meet you both after hearing so much about you. I’m Steph,” the blonde also pulled the two girls into warm hugs. 

After chatting with Mitch and Steph for a little while, Tessa couldn’t help but wonder where Auston was. He had said to arrive for 2pm, and it was now 2:30. She did a quick scan of the space, not catching sight of him. 

“Looking for me?” Auston appeared behind her, making her nearly jump out of her skin. Tessa couldn’t help but take in his appearance, trying to convince herself that her racing heart was just from the scare, and not from being in his presence. She hated how good he looked, and when he smirked at her, she hated even more that he knew how good he looked.

“No, I was looking for a quick exit, just in case,” Tessa turned away from him and back to the group, trying not to be obvious in her momentary attraction to him.

“Just in case what?”

“Oh, you never know. You should always be prepared.”

“Uh huh, I see,” he nodded, playing along. “Hey Lydia. Have you girls met everyone yet?”

“We’ve met Christina and Steph so far,” Tessa nodded towards Mitch and Steph. 

“Well, let me introduce you to the rest of the tribe,” he put a hand on the small of her back and guided her away from their small group. Tessa instinctively reached for Lydia’s hand to drag her along as well. 

After meeting most, if not all, of the team and their significant others, Tessa was offered a seat between Auston and Freddie in a small group of them, Lydia, Will, Kasperi, Mitch, Morgan, and Steph. 

Tessa immediately felt everyone’s eyes on her, as if they were all ready to pounce. She shifted uncomfortably in her lawn chair, knowing what was to come. 

“So, Tess,” Kasperi started, winking at her, “I feel like we don’t know anything about you other than that you’ve been occupying all of our boy’s free time lately.”

“I’m sorry?” 

“He means that every time we want to play video games with Matts, he either can’t because he’s on the phone with you or he quits halfway through because you’ve finally started replying to all of the messages he sent you throughout the day,” Will offered. 

“That can’t be true,” Tessa shook her head in disbelief, eyeing a sheepish Auston. He never said anything about video games when they talked. 

“Oh, it’s definitely true,” came Freddie’s soft voice to her left. Tessa turned to him and caught his little smile. A gentle giant with a mischievous glint behind his eye. No wonder he and Auston got along so well.

“Anyway,” Steph piped in to save her, “I think what Kappy was trying to say was that we all would like to know more about you. Auston said you were getting your Masters. What’s the plan after that?”

Tessa smiled gratefully at Steph. Even though she hated being the centre of attention and didn’t feel like talking about herself, at least school was an easy topic. 

“I’m not 100% certain yet. Lydia and I still have the rest of this year, and then we’re both considering getting our doctorates. I could move up at Launchpad, but I don’t know if I see myself there beyond the next couple of years. My focus is on child development, and if I do my doctorate, I’m interested in a fellowship at SickKids.”

“Wow, that’s really impressive,” Steph replied genuinely. “What about you, Lydia?”

“Like Tess said, we’re both considering doing our doctorates. My focus is primarily on behavioural development though, so right now I’m leaning towards becoming a Behavioural Therapist. It will depend on how the rest of this year goes,” Lydia explained. 

“No wonder you turned down Matts, Tessa,” Willy laughed. “You two are way too smart for your own good. That’s really awesome.”

As the afternoon went on, the group asked Tessa and Lydia more questions about themselves, and Tessa and Lydia started to ask some back. Auston loved watching Tessa get comfortable with his friends. These people were his family for most of the year, and he wanted to make sure they liked her, though he had no doubts that they would. He was more doubtful that Tessa would still like him after his well-intentioned but annoying friends shared any and every funny story they could think to embarrass him with. Fortunately, she seemed to take it all in stride and even joined in on picking on him once in a while. He loved it. 

By the time the sun was setting, the group started to dwindle and those remaining helped clean up the backyard and the kitchen so their generous hosts weren’t left with a huge mess. 

As Tessa was walking into the kitchen to bring in some more dishes, she heard two voices and stopped in her tracks. She didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but when she heard her name, she needed to hear what was being said. 

“So you like her?” she recognized Auston’s voice asking the other person.

“I really do, man, she seems great,” Tessa now recognized that voice to be Patrick’s. Over the past few phone calls, Tessa learned how important Patrick has been to Auston and the other young guys on the team. She knew he relied on Patrick for advice on being a professional athlete, but apparently that extended to his personal life as well. 

“But?” When no response came, Auston pushed. “Come on, Patty. I really like this girl.”

Patrick sighed. Tessa braced herself. 

“I can see that you like her, bud. She just seems a little hesitant and withdrawn. She opened up quite a bit today as the day went on, and I could see that she was having fun. But she seems a little hesitant.”

“Yeah, she is. Apparently, she’s heard about my ‘reputation’ or whatever and it freaked her out. I’ve been fighting for a chance just to get to know her, let alone date her.”

“Ah, that makes sense. So she thinks you’re just going to mess around and that’s what you want with her?”

“I hope that’s not what she still thinks, but yeah, I think that’s the main reason she’s been keeping herself at a distance. She thinks I’m going to hurt her.”

“Well coming here today must have been a huge step for her then,” Patrick offered. 

“It really was! I had to go through her best friend to get her here, but I was so happy when she agreed. I think she might be willing to really give me a chance. I really like this girl, Patty. She’s all I can think about.”

Tessa sighed, not wanting to hear any more. She could hear the hope in Auston’s voice and while it was endearing, it also felt like a lot of pressure. She jingled plates in her hand purposefully, so they would know someone was entering the room. When she turned the corner, the two men looked up at her in surprise. Patrick fixed his face immediately, turning it into an easy smile, while Auston looked like a kid caught with his hand in a cookie jar. 

“Here, let me take those from you,” Patrick reached forward to take the dishes from Tessa’s hands. “Thanks for coming, Tessa. You and Lydia are welcome here any time.”

“Thank you so much for having us! You have a beautiful home and your family is so kind,” Tessa smiled sincerely, accepting a hug from the much taller man. She understood from the second Christina opened up the doors why Auston considered these people his family. They were amazing.

“Are you heading out?” Auston asked. 

“Yeah, Lydia just went out to get her car.”

“I’ll walk you out.”

“Okay, thanks again, Patrick,” she turned to wave one last time.

“Any time, Tessa.”

Auston and Tessa walked in charged silence to the front doors. Auston couldn’t help but wonder if Tessa had overheard them talking; Tessa couldn’t help but feel like she should tell Auston that she listened in. 

Neither said anything until they were out the doors, standing on the front step. 

“I’m so happy you came out today, Tess,” Auston spoke softly. “It was really good to see you again.”

“It was good to see you, too,” she spoke just as softly, not sure what was going to happen next, let alone what she actually wanted to happen. She hated that she kept thinking about what his lips and hands felt like. She hated how much she loved what he said to Patrick, and how sincere he sounded. And most of all, she hated how much she was starting to like him.

“So, do you think I could see you again? Maybe this week some time?” Auston’s hopeful voice broke her out of her reverie. 

“I have to submit my lit review by Friday and I’m working most of the week, so I’m not sure.”

“Well, you have to eat dinner regardless, right? I could swing by and pick you up and take you somewhere, or I could even just swing by with take-out for us?”

“You’re not great at taking no for an answer, are you?” 

“I didn’t hear a no anywhere in your statement,” Auston winked. 

“Touche,” she laughed. 

“Tess, I’m not trying to pressure you, and if I thought you weren’t even remotely interested, I would back off,” Auston hesitantly reached for her hand, pleased when she didn’t pull away, and linked her fingers through his. “But we talk every day either through text or calling, and you came today and hung out with everyone even though it was more of a family setting. And I know you have no problem saying no if you want to say no, so that’s gotta be a good sign. I mean, am I reading everything wrong right now?” 

Tessa hesitated, looking down at their linked hands. The calmness that washed over her at his touch terrified her, but she didn’t know how to express that. 

“No, you’re not reading everything wrong,” she finally answered, still looking down. 

Auston squeezed her hand gently and reached out with the other hand to raise her chin to connect their eyes. 

“We can go as slow as you want, Tess,” he whispered, moving closer to her. “We can start with dinner or just an ice cream date or something simple. I really don’t care what we do or where we go. I just want to spend time with you. You’re all I’ve been thinking about besides hockey ever since I met you. I don’t get it, but I’m not gonna fight it.”

Tessa let out a shaky breath. Auston squeezed her hand twice. 

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Auston repeated, unsure if he heard her correctly or if his ears were playing tricks on him.

“Mhm. Okay.”

Tessa couldn’t help but laugh as Auston’s eyes lit up and he pulled her into a tight hug. He dropped a light kiss on the top of her head, unable to hide his excitement. He pulled away from her, keeping their hands linked.

“Okay! So what day works for you? I have games Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday, and I know you mostly work days-” he paused at her sideways glance. “Do you really want to know how I know that?” Tessa just shook her head, thinking better of it. “Didn’t think so. Anyway, I know you work mostly days so that leaves Tuesday, Thursday, or Friday evening. You pick.”

“What works best for you?”

“If I pick, I’m picking Tuesday so I can see you as soon as possible. But if you have your paper due on Friday, we could do Friday instead so all of that is off your mind.”

Tessa loved and hated how accommodating he was being. She never would have pegged Auston Matthews as the thoughtful type. Her developing endearment was the only excuse she had for the answer she ended up giving.

“Well, why not both?” she offered. The look of pure glee that crossed Auston’s face was enough to let her know that she made the right decision. 

“That fucking made my entire day,” Auston reached down to pull her into another hug, lifting her slightly off of the ground and swaying gently. “How about Tuesday we do something simple like ice cream after work, and then Friday I can plan a real date for us? Gives me some time to plan!”

“Oh god, don’t go to too much trouble. I don’t need or want anything fancy,” she cringed. She definitely wasn’t the fancy type, and while she knew that money wasn’t an issue for him, she didn’t want him going out of his way. 

“Noted. I’ll see what other information I can get out of you this week to plan your perfect date,” he winked, leading her over to the passenger side of Lydia’s car. 

“Good luck with that. I’d like to see what you come up with! See you Tuesday.”

“See you Tuesday, Tess,” Auston closed the door behind her as she climbed in next to a patiently waiting Lydia, who had clearly heard the whole conversation. 

Instead of pulling out of the driveway right away, Lydia rolled down her window and stuck out her head. 

“Hey, Auston,” Lydia shouted, watching as he stopped in his tracks and turned out curiously. “I’ll take my thank you in the form of two tickets to a home game,” she winked. 

Auston barked out a laugh. He really did have Lydia to thank for a lot of things, most recently for getting Tessa to come today. Tickets were the least he could do. Hell, he was so pumped that he’d be willing to get her season tickets if she really wanted them. 

“You got’em!” he laughed as she honked the horn and pulled out of the driveway. He raised his hand to give a little wave, his heart tugging when he saw Tessa’s shy smile back. 

#auston matthews #auston matthews imagine #auston matthews fan fiction #nhl fan fiction #nhl imagines #hockey fan fiction #hockey imagines

[inactive-revenge-may-vary]

Eff You, Mr. Eff - Part 1

The familiar sound of the front door quickly scanning and then allowing patrons to enter alerted Tenn to come from the security footage room upstairs. She had already set up the screens to broadcast each street from earlier yesterday into the current day at that exact time.

She waved from the top of the stairwell.

“Good to see that you all made it here safe. Brother Squee, Brother-in-Law Pep, and TAK are all on their way here. But in the meantime we can get started.”

She met them halfway down the stairs, she was in strategic soldier mode, her arms clasped behind her back and her head held high.

She gave small professional smiles to the two tall men and the red tentacled, dog-like creature.

“Everything is already set up for review.” She went on to list all of the streets up on the screen as she opened the door for them to come inside the security room.

“You can take your pick on which you’d like to station yourself to.”

“Down the line- There’s Grave Road, Maple Street, Obilivia Lane, Brighton Circle, Badger Road, Windhurst Lane, Aegis Street, Aligheri Street, and the Downtown area goes through a rapid cycle of certain areas, so that may become a bit disorienting, so just a warning in advance if you wish to take post there.”

Jhonen looked over the map. “Honestly I’ll go downtown. The city is there, and if Prince is like my Nny- most of his walks are through the city,” he said, looking over at the different stores and buildings in the area.

A beep at the door heralded the arrival of Tak.  “So what’s the set up?”  She paused.  “Actually, Squee and Pep are right behind me.  Wait a moment, would you?”

The duo came in, weary and cold.  

“Thanks for waiting, TAK.  Not like you could have held the door open.”

“She really couldn’t have - there’s bio-scans for each key card swipe.”

Pep grumbled.  He didn’t have to like it.  

“So what did we miss?”

Edgar continued, uninterrupted by the appearances. “I’ll take Grave Road, I trust that Jhonen and Tenn haven’t seen Nny personally, but Nny is fast and I’m sure things have been busy in their house anyway,” He stood in front of the screen where familiar houses stood in a row. Few cars went by.

Lil’ Shit shook their head.  

“Nᴏᴛ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ.  Gʀᴀᴠᴇ Rᴏᴀᴅ ɪsɴ'ᴛ ᴀ ᴄᴏɪɴᴄɪᴅᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ɴᴀᴍᴇ, ᴡʜᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄɪᴛʏ ᴋɴᴇᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴏʀ ɴᴏᴛ.  I'ʟʟ ᴘᴜᴛ ᴍᴏɴᴇʏ ᴏɴ Pʀɪɴᴄᴇ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀᴛ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛ - I ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ғᴇᴇʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ʟᴇᴀᴠɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ.“

“You misunderstand, Little Shit, was it? Edgar won’t be physically going anywhere. We’re just going to watch the screens.”

“No one will be going anywhere without a plan, okay?” She called over her shoulder as she went back to the top of the stairwell to wave the rest of the group in.

“We are up here,” she walked down to the middle of the stairs again, same militaristic stance as before, “TAK, Brother Pep, Brother Squee. Come with me.”

“Father Vee’s already surveying Downtown cameras, Edgar took Grave, and I still haven’t heard confirmation from Little Shit where they will be looking.”

“Maple, Oblivia,Brighton, Badger, Windhurst, Aegis, and Aligheri. Take your pick.”

“Let me know if you see anyone who looks like Nny. Sometimes cameras can skew appearances. Even if you see Nny at an earlier point of time, we still will benefit from that, retracing steps is important in this case.”

Jhonen nodded, concentrated on the screens. So far- he didn’t really see Nny….just a bunch of people walking around…he payed attention to each person who managed to pop up on the screen.

“I’ll take Maple.  It’s a major road, so the odds are high he’s gone down it at least the once, especially to leave the apartments.”

“We’ll take Aegis, Aligheri, and Windhurst - the amount of obfuscation that’s on those streets - it’s irrational to assign anyone else to them.”  

Squee nodded.  “Windhurst is the only street that ISN’T warped, but it rounds out the quadrant.”

Edgar had felt incredibly touched by Lil Shit’s offer of companionship. Although misguided, the fact that the service pet had even spoken up made him smile, “It’s alright, Lil Shit. I’ll be right here with you. Before any of us go anywhere we’ve gotta find Nny.”

Lil’ Shit looks to Edgar, still worried, but it dawns on them that A NEW PERSON, TENN, can hear them!  Despite the solemnity of the situation, their tail wags.

“Yᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ʜᴇᴀʀ ᴍᴇ?”

No.  Bad Lil Shit.  Concetrate.  Think about the options.  “…Bʀɪɢʜᴛᴏɴ Cɪʀᴄʟᴇ ɪs ǫᴜɪᴛᴇ ʟᴀʀɢᴇ.  I'ᴍ sᴜʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴍᴜʟᴛɪᴘʟᴇ ᴄᴀᴍᴇʀᴀs ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴍᴏsᴛ ᴄᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴʟʏ ʙᴇɴᴇғɪᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴍʏ INFINITE EYES.  I'ʟʟ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ Bʀɪɢʜᴛᴏɴ.”

Tenn loves dogs, of course being around five at once nearly twenty-four/ seven, so she smiles at Lil Shit wagging his tail.

She nods, albeit being a bit confused, it shows on her face, “Well a talking service pet doesn’t exactly faze me as much as any random person. I mean, you’re no stranger to my family and friends.”

“Good choices to you all. I wish you luck, I’ll be keeping an eye on the current monitors. I’ve set up an algorithm that should alert me should Nny appear in any current shot.”

Jhonen kept an eye out, Nny didn’t seem anywhere! However, what he noticed might have some clues of Prince’s whereabouts. In the camera feed, he noticed a pattern; a slight decrease in people. He saw people zoom by and then end up on the floor, knowing that Johnny was out there; the people on the floor were most likely dead. However, it’s tricky to catch, unless you really pay attention. So, Jhonen kept a watchful eye, hoping that the killer would pop out of the shadows.

Tak’s eyes widened, and she nearly moved her head to glance back at her adopted sister - but she restrained the impulse, never looking from her screen.

“Tenn, I couldn’t understand what Lil’ Shit said.  Never have been able to.  Squee, Pep, Dads, Todd, Edgar, Prince?  Yeah, they can.  I can’t.  Dib can’t -”  She cut off her trail of thought.  So how can YOU?

“Guys, I caught him going northwest from the apartments.”

Squee’s eyes widened in alarm, briefly glancing away from Windhurst to Tenn, then right back.  “Tenn- Tak- do you think it’s because of that THING that Tenn can hear them?  Also, still nothing on my end.”

“Nothing on mine.”

Edgar had barely ever interacted with Vasquez and Co., finding that seeing another Nny who was distinctly different from his Prince and also had been a source of much unintentional heartbreak wasn’t worth any get-togethers. He certainly hadn’t learned much about Jhonen’s alien daughter, Tenn, aside from when he gushed about her or Tak had mentioned something.

He was alarmed and quite frankly wary now that he knew Tenn could understand Lil Shit. It was just his nerves.

Instantly his attention was brought to the screen where he saw Nny come on screen, walking down the street. Edgar called for everyone’s attention. He watched as Nny seemed to pause near the old 777 and then… walk almost in a daze into the dilapidated shack.

He blinked almost non believing.

“He went into 777.”

Lil Shit was discomfited by the fact that Tenn could in fact hear them.  The rules regarding who COULD were pretty clear by now.  “I ᴍᴜsᴛ ᴀᴅᴍɪᴛ, ɪᴛ’s sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ʜᴇᴀʀ ᴍᴇ.  Yᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ FEEL ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ sʏsᴛᴇᴍ… ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ DO ғᴇᴇʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ.  Sᴏʀᴛ ᴏғ.”

It dawned on them what Edgar had said. “Wᴀɪᴛ - ʏᴏᴜ sᴀ�� Pʀɪɴᴄᴇ? Aᴛ- Aᴛ 777?”  Lil Shit shifted nervously.  “Oʜ ᴛʜɪs ɪsɴ'ᴛ ɢᴏᴏᴅ - ᴛʜɪs ɪsɴ'ᴛ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴀᴛ ALL.”

Tenn didn’t have enough time to continue entertaining Lil Shit’s observation. She bolted over to Edgar’s station.

“That was recorded earlier today. Experience tells me that any Nny going to a 777 and not coming back out is not a good sign.”

Jhonen heard the commotion and went over to investigate. His eyes widened, he didn’t know Prince that well- but any Nny going into 777 was NOT good.

“Oh fuck.”

Tak bolted up, worry all over her face and demeanor.  “Edgar- He LEFT 777 for a REASON- the ghosts- they’re still there- aren’t they?”  Her eyes have nothing but fear in them - but not fear of Prince- fear FOR Prince.

“Fuck- Eff lead him there- and I hope I’m not right as to WHY - I’d rather the murders to what I fear.”

Pepito’s eyes widen.  “So for one: there are GHOSTS there. Two, they caused Prince to LEAVE 777, presumably for his safety.  And THREE: HE WENT BACK?” He gets out of his seat.

“WHY THE FUCK ARE WE STILL HERE?”

Squee nods. “Pep has a point - Prince is clearly in danger on two fronts.”

“Nny had told me when he was in the throes of the worst days of his life there were two doughboy entities. Obviously we know it’s the work of one. But there’s two different ones… one that he told me wanted to be alive and do things outside of Nny’s control and one that just wanted to end Nny and be set free of a physical presence. To serve a master. To serve whoever had a hold on Lil Shit… Judging by the circumstances.. that would make it be that it’s the former one… Mr. Eff. And I don’t think it’s fair to saw that he just went back. Obviously he was under some type of trance. We need a plan before we jump the gun, we have to expect the strangest and prepare for the worst.”

Tak shifted uncomfortably.  “I’m well aware of the… stranger things.  I saw the house when Lil Shit was a barely-uncontrollable BIG Shit.  …I’ve seen… some of the current situation, as well.”  She pauses, unsure of how much to say.  She glances to Jhonen.

“I’ll just say that I’ve seen an unmanageable Eff before.  We were lucky that the situation was what it was - both Jhonen and Nny.  It- we all would have died.” She goes silent.  “I’m scared.  I don’t think the way things went before will work again- not when Eff has the upper hand with territorial knowledge.”

“If you look in Prince’s post, there’s still parts of him there. He’s not entirely gone which can be used to our advantage. Obviously we all know Nny is incredibly strong and has only gotten stronger, despite the contrary being said by Eff. He’s holding on for us and he’s asking for help. However, I too fear that what TAK has done before might not be so effective.”

She looks to Jhonen, having only heard what happened with Nny and seeing the aftermath in the form of a scar, of course that was the work of Psychodoughboy and not Eff, but still, it was worrying to say the least. Tenn also knew some things, but just like Tak, she didn’t know what was in the open and what wasn’t.

Jhonen looked back at his daughter, and then spoke up.

“We should all be very cautious nevertheless, the last thing i’m sure we want is for Prince to cause harm to himself or others. We need a strategy, and a plan, so that we can approach the situation without getting too hysteric or too cruel. If we get out of line, it could get way more serious.”

Squee spoke up. “…Has nobody been looking at the newest post from Prince? ‘Into the house Johnny, It’s time to finish painting that wall.’ Lil’ Shit’s not IN the wall.  This seems like Eff’s getting revenge - or attempting to open a new cell that will never be created.”

“What does he have to gain then,” Edgar glanced in confusion to Squee.

“Just revenge? If a cell can’t be created… and there’s no master there… what is this thing’s end game? Could it really be that vengeful where it would just want Nny to kill for the sole purpose of… killing? He still kills.”

His brow furrows. “Unless.. Eff just wants us gone so that Nny is left with no-one… or even worse. Trap him in that house- isolate him until he’s right back where he started… In any case, Jhonen is right, we need to eradicate as many risks… and eliminate as much harm as possible.”

Lil Shit curls up.  This doesn’t sit right.  “Uɴғᴏʀᴛᴜɴᴀᴛᴇʟʏ - ᴛʜᴀᴛ’s… ᴛʜᴀᴛ’s ᴀ D-Bᴏʏ’s ᴍᴏᴅᴜs ᴏᴘᴇʀᴀɴᴅɪ.”

“Doughboys are predictable, that’s about the only thing we can expect from them. Is that they want one thing and that’s to have control over something, whether it’s to destroy or self-destruct.”

Tenn taps her chin. “We still don’t have a plan…I don’t know if fighting is the right way to go, but knowing the doughboys… how they work… how things like them can make people into someone they’re not-“ She gives another much shorter glance to Jhonen, “We might have to. But if anyone has any other ideas say it right now. We need to hurry though… whatever we come up with, we need to implement it soon.”

Jhonen doubted there was another solution to all this. Unfortunately, it seems the thing infecting prince wasn’t just gonna let go if you fucking asked! He stayed silent, unable to come up with any alternative solutions.

Tak stood up.  “I’ll go.”

“I went in when THAT happened.  I went in when Lil Shit wasn’t so little and was quite nearly unmanageable.  I- I need to.  I can fight him off, use the PAK legs to get him restrained, then use my implant.”  And pray it works.

“For me, failure is not an option.”

Squee could only bite his lip.  He’d go, if only in hopes that it would take Prince’s guard down to see ANY Squee there - but he knew that if things got BAD - it would be back to step 1 with his recovery.

“I can’t go.  But I’ll keep an eye on the monitors?” he said, ending it as a question.

Pepito looked to his side.  Of course - if it came down to blows and the worst situation came to pass - no.  He couldn’t let that happen, couldn’t let his Squee see that.  “I can see about boarding 777 off from the rest of the world for an hour or so - even then, that might be pushing what I can do,” he admitted.

“I’ll go too. I shouldn’t have let this go on so long and I should have been there in the first place. I need to see he’s at least a little okay and I want to be there for him when he… I want to be there for him,” Edgar finishes with a sigh.

Lil Shit manifests several tendrils ending in various sharp objects.  

“I ᴀʟsᴏ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴄᴛɪғʏ ᴛʜɪs.  I ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ I ᴀᴛᴇ ʜɪᴍ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʜɪs ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ.  I ᴍᴜsᴛɴ'ᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴅɪɢᴇsᴛᴇᴅ ʜɪᴍ ᴀs ᴡᴇʟʟ ᴀs I ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ.”

Tenn gave a grim smile to the determined group, nodding.

“I would like to tag along, but only if I am needed. If there’s nothing I can do, or if you believe you have it covered then I won’t. I just want to help the best way I can.”

[bandficsunlimited]

Floral & Fading (Pierce The Veil Fanfiction)

(This was the first band slash PTV fanfic that I’ve ever made, so please forgive me if it’s terrible and nonsensical and not what you really expected.)

"D-d-d-darker now, kicked out and sleeping in your car, you rolled the window down, enough to dream and make-believe..."

"That's it, stop it! Pierce...whatever, you're outta here! Go on, we're closed! Everybody out! You're wrecking the place!"

The harsh reprimand of the bowling alley owner rang out, exasperated and palpably angry, and Jaime could perfectly and very much tell why.

Standing in the carnage of musical instruments and debris of bowling equipment alike, their band sign hanging off on one corner with half already in shards on the floor, holding splintered parts of what used to be a bass guitar, and staring at a rowdy crowd that had been shoving and pushing at each other the entire time, the owner's rage towards the sheepish band was easily understandable.

Jaime wasn't sure how Pierce the Veil was allotted to perform here in the first place, considering that their post-hardcore music wasn't really the appropriate ambiance to a bowling alley, and they were forced to wear such weird clothes (Mike laughed at his older brother's atrocious green floral shirt that he fished out of his dad's closet for ten minutes straight), and the owner didn't even know what the hell their band name was ("He announced it with the enthusiasm of a vendor selling tacos in a deserted place under the torpor heat of the summer Mexico sun", Jaime observed. "Oh great, now I want tacos", another voice inside his head complained), but all he knew for certain was that this was quite unexpected.

"For a bunch of people living in '69, these guys sure do party hard." Jaime thought, uttering a low whistle as he surveyed the wreckage of the chaotic room.

Not only had he and his bandmates completely trashed the place, they also managed to influence the people to join in with it as well, and what once was a group of peaceful weekend bowling players had turned into youth-crazy moshers that threw articles of intimate clothing, allowed crowdsurfing and mosh pits, nearly ripped the band members apart (two of them tore out their drummer's sleeves, "but," Jaime internally snickered, "with Mike's big guns, who freakin' wouldn't?"), poured juice punch on each other (Jaime could see a girl smiling at them wryly without a care of the sticky beverage that dripped and coloured her hair a vivid blue), pulled the fire alarms and lit up their lighters inside the place, and ultimately ("and most importantly", Jaime noted), they enjoyed and allowed themselves to lose control to their music.

"So all in all, not a bad gig." Jaime concluded with a satisfied grin. He looked over to Vic, Mike, and Tony, all exhausted, sweaty, and holding destroyed instruments alike, but also with the same enthused smiles lighted up on their faces.

Celebratory high fives were passed around the band members, but before Jaime could give one to an expectant Tony, the owner's stern face emerged in front of them, his nostrils flared and his voluminous belly rising up and down steadily, smoke appearing to come out of his ears, startling the band out of their gregarious reverie.

"You damn brats, still happy about wrecking this place. I regret ever knowin' your name. No you boys better get out of here before I get you a damn good whacking to and slam your sorry little asses in jail!" The owner threatened, waving at them the remaining microphone stand that was still actually standing and almost tripping on the wires in the process.

"Sooooo...does this mean we don't get paid?" Vic asked innocently, a cute charming smile emblazoned on his face, doe eyes wide and sparkly, every uttered word in the sentence dripping with sass. Behind him, Jaime chuckled audibly, Tony grinned so wide it seemed the corners of his lips would split open, and Mike covered his mouth with one heavily-tattooed hand to stifle his laughter.

The owner only glared at them poisonously, radiating nothing but sheer hate and venom out of his eyes, and shoved them all out of the way, causing a little domino effect to the band and nearly tripping on the wire yet again, as he muttered various colourful profanities, most likely endowing the worst curses known to man and monsters upon the Mexicans. He shook his meaty fist once more before going past the outbalanced band members, and grabbed a broom to commence cleaning up the mess that they made.

"Great gig. Great time. Great job, guys." Mike praised his fellow band members, as they packed up and salvaged what little they can from their smashed equipment, but not before he added a grim "We still need money to buy new instruments though, and since Vic here killed off any chance of us getting paid, well..."

"Thank you Mike, that reeeeaaally boosted our morale." Tony replied sardonically with a laugh.

Vic, pretending to be hurt, indignantly glared at his younger brother with a sulking pout. "We weren't getting paid anyways, Mikey. It didn't hurt to ask."

"Hey, hey, I'm just kidding bro. Hell, I don't blame you anyways. I've always wanted to wreck the living shit out of my drums! I mean, who doesn't? It's the adrenaline, man, it gets you. This was awesome, you guys. P-T-V!" Mike ranted on happily, as they all cheered out in enthusiastic replies of "Wooooh!"

"Well, I take it that's a wrap?" Vic quipped cheekily. He was answered with an affirming chorus of "Oh yeah", "Guess so", and from Jaime, accompanied with an audibly rumbling stomach, "Anyone else also craving tacos right now?"

Jaime's out-of-place remark and hunger pangs gave Vic an idea for a fun little prank. He acted all excited, suddenly pointed out to a random corner, and shouted "Hey look Jaime, a taco stand giving food away for free!"

"Where?!" As Jaime's head frantically whipped to face where Vic was pointing, Vic glanced furtively at Tony and made silent finger motions, signaling for him to trip up Jaime. Tony understood immediately, and he surreptitiously crouched behind Jaime and positioned himself by his feet, waiting for the right moment.

"Oh, you know, it's just there Hime, if you'd just, like, I don't know, back up a little, maybe you'd see clearer or something, y'know..." Mike improvised, buying for time, and Vic facepalmed behind Jaime's back and mouthed "That didn't make sense bro." to him.

But despite Mike's lame assurances, Jaime still obediently obliged with his instructions and ambled a step backward. His legs caught on the crouching turtle by his legs, and he began to topple backfirst, arms thrashing about wildly as he tried to break his fall.

"Gotcha again, Jaime!" Vic said triumphantly, earning him victorious high fives and rounds of raucous laughter from Mike and Tony.

But due to unforeseen and unfortunate circumstances, Jaime's head accidentally contacted a nearby bowling ball (ironically, it was the yellow one that he tossed at one of Mike's drums earlier and nearly hit Tony), and he heard a sickening crack, as Vic, Tony, and Mike's laughs instantly dissipated and they immediately rushed to his side.

Jaime felt himself losing consciousness quickly, and his vision blurred and faded as he saw his friends' concerned faces looming over him, Vic frantically waving a hand to his face and calling out his name.

"Jaime? Jaime??? Jaaaaiiimmeeeeee..."

~*~

Jaime jolted awake at the sound of singing invading his ears, and his eyes fluttered open and he found himself curled up in a couch, his bass guitar cuddled up next to him, a fan-gifted monkey pillow strewn on his stomach, and an abandoned floral pattern notebook lying facedown by his limply-hanging fingertips.

The rest of the band was simply chilling out; Mike lounging next to him as he clutched a coffee mug in one hand and twirled a drumstick in the other, Vic looking at his ink scribbles with a pensive visage and a badly-chewed pen stuck between his teeth, making little vocal warm-ups with their names (at the moment, he was singing out "Hayyyymeeyyyy skunnkkkk"), and Tony softly strumming notes at random on a battered acoustic guitar.

Jaime remembered his dream and his hand immediately shot up to his hair, as if to feel the phantom of a nightmarish afro that never was, and he sighed a little too loudly in relief as he felt only the soft spikes of his hedgehog hair. He rubbed his bleary eyes as he examined the appearances of his fellow bandmates' hairstyles with mingled scepticism and doubt.

Watching this event unfold, the trio's questioning stares immediately pierced (pun very much intended) through the scrutinising Jaime, but it was Vic who asked the question first.

"You okay there, Jaime?" he said, momentarily ceasing with his playful vocal warm-ups, his inquiry slightly garbled by the writing instrument clamped between his mouth.

"Dude, I just had the weirdest dream..." Jaime started.

Mike snorted into his mug at amusement at Jaime's revelation, spinning the drumstick more furiously and throwing it in the air. "Expect Jaime to be so cliche."

Tony glanced at him with a raised eyebrow and retorted "And expect you to be the one breaking the fourth wall." Mike stuck out his tongue at Tony in reply, and he failed to catch the drumstick, the wooden stick clattering noisily on the floor.

But Jaime seemed not to hear them both as he leered at Mike's short hair, hidden under his black beanie, analysed Tony's expertly messed sticky-uppy hair and Key Street cap lying by his side, and finally settled to concentrating and peering at Vic's long and flowing hair as if it was an art exhibit.

Vic finally noticed Jaime's strange stare and stared back with questioning eyes. "Why are you looking at me like that? Something wrong with my hair? Is my hat not on straight? Or do you just not like my hat? Again?" Vic badgered endlessly, his voice taking on a concerned tone, running his hand throughout his head to check for anything weird.

Jaime said nothing to clear things out as he slowly reached out to feel for Vic's hair. Mike took a sip of his drink absentmindedly and flipped his drumstick as he watched blankly, engrossed by the scene, and Tony had an exasperated expression that sighed out a silent "Oh, Jaime, here we go again."

Jaime grabbed one end of Vic's hair and started tugging at it, as if testing for it's legitimacy.

"Ow! Jaime! What the hell?" Vic exclaimed, slapping Jaime's hand away. By coincidence, Tony hit a sour note on the guitar as he was distracted by the unfolding events, making a sound that added for comedic effect.

"Your hair...it's normal." Jaime lamely replied.

Vic squinted in suspicion as he ran his fingers over his locks to fix his hair. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

Jaime closed his eyes and nodded in alleviated affirmation. "Oh it's good dude. It's good. It's just, well, just that dream..."

"Well, what dream? Don't keep us in suspense, Hime-time." Vic prompted eagerly, setting down his abused pen and rumpled notebook on the desk and dragging his chair closer to Jaime. Mike and Tony set down the instruments they were holding and leaned in closer to listen in as well.

Jaime sighed extravagantly once again and began to narrate. "It was like...we were having a concert in a frigging bowling alley...you had short hair and a stupid floral shirt...Mike was wearing this nerdy-ass sweater and vest, I don't know what it was...Tony was crowdsurfing on a bunch of weirdly-dressed people...and I had cotton ball for a hair...it was sick though, we smashed our instruments in the end, and oh, I nearly hit Tony with a bowling ball!"

Tony glared at Jaime in mock disdain. "Something you wanna say to me, Jaime?"

"And me! Did you just call my clothes nerdy?" Mike put in indignantly.

"You tripped me up and made me smash my skull on a bowling ball, Tony, so I'd say we're pretty much even. And also Mike, Vic was wearing a long-sleeved green floral pattern shirt and ironed beige pants and stupid hard shoes and he had short hair that looked like it was shaped out of clay, so there." Jaime explained in a flat tone to both offended parties, not missing a beat.

Tony simply made a 'seems legit' face and nodded. "Touche, Preciado."

Mike, on the other hand, stared at his older brother for a couple seconds, as if picturing Vic in the horrible clothes Jaime described, but his should-be bellowing laugh was reduced to a strained snort as Vic glared back at him venomously with a look that said "Don't you dare Michael."

Jaime carried on with his story gracelessly as he fumbled for the words, unable to describe the dream properly. "Anyways, it was just—I don't know, but it was like...a time travel or something...I don't know man...it was 1969!" He finally declared. Mike couldn't hold in his laughter anymore at the final part, and he began to double over laughing, strained wheeze escaping his throat like a squeaky balloon losing air.

"Aw dude, did you just marathon Back To The Future...again? Look, I know you wanna be the next Mexican Marty McFly, and we support that dream of yours, even if you don't look too good in bodywarmers, but...that's just askin' for it." Vic sympathetically apprehended with a little shake of his head. His maternal and disappointed tone of voice made Tony crack up, and Vic finally dropped his stern parent act and joined in with the mirth.

"But it was! I swear! 1969! A lady! Threw her bra at me!" Jaime punctuated almost pleadingly, his voice drowned out by the chaos of laughter.

His hysterical bandmates only laughed even harder at the bra throwing part, and Vic had to jump out of his seat and whack his younger brother in the back with immense force because he promptly choked on his drink, as the slapstick-looking act made Tony's smile grow impossibly wider.

"Yeah right, like that would ever happen. Keep on dreaming, Jaime." Vic deadpan quipped with a pokerfaced expression. Jaime finally stopped sulking and succumbed to the contagious hilarity and sheer ludicrousness of it all, dimples popping up as his laugh echoed the loudest inside the room.

After everyone had calmed down and managed to catch their breath, the place was filled with silent contentment and lingering traces of entertained expressions on their faces. Mike went to the kitchen to place his mug in the sink (but accidentally brought the drumstick with the mug instead of the spoon, which made for a very interesting story later on at band practice, when he accidentally ripped the skin off his snare drum with the metal utensil), Tony returned to fiddling with his guitar as he quietly played Dammit by Blink-182, and Vic held his pen and paper once again, but before he turned away to continue writing, he said softly to Jaime, this time with an earnest smile.

"Keep on dreaming, Jaime."

"Our lights knocked out, turned upside-down, I'm just a stupid motherfucker, can't figure it out."

#i'm so sorry for this #ptv #pierce the veil #fanfiction #band #bandom #vic fuentes #tony perry #jaime preciado #floral and fading #mv #one shot #short story #crack #trash

[rachelisnotatwork]

Conferencing North of the Wall

Deeply irritatingly, after a winter completely free of sniffles, coughs and fevers, whilst everyone wilted around me and I felt increasingly smug, the first day of spring saw my run of good luck come to an end and a stinking cold develop. So whilst we’d planned a few nice days of holiday before our conference in Belfast, I pretty much had to be peeled, hacking, wheezing and shivering, off the sofa to head over to there.

Naturally we’d booked to fly from Stanstead, which at the time seems like a good (financial) deal, and then the reality kicks in and we have to get two tubes and a train and leave hours of time. The plus side was the exhausting struggle of that plus the cough and cold remedies I was chugging down like there was no tomorrow pretty much meant I got onto the plane, passed out and woke up in Belfast. Unfortunately not the good Belfast airport, because there turn out to be two (who knew? The whole place is tiny. Why on earth do they need two airports?) but the rubbish one which is way outside of town and has posters on the wall about Belfast’s favourite coleslaw (I like to think they had a brutal and hard-fought referendum on that one).

We went to pick up our car, which was the first car we’ve ever got that has “lane assist”. This is probably a helpful function if you find yourself falling asleep on a US highway at 3am, as if you go anywhere near the lines in the centre of the road or at the sides, it starts an irritating beeping sound. This is not a helpful feature if you are in rural Northern Ireland, where the roads are so narrow you are constantly in it’s rage zone and the peeping pretty much never ends. No more nap time for me.

Because I’d been fast asleep on the flight, we hadn’t eaten the lunch we bought in the Stanstead Pret. I decided as we meandered slowly across the countryside towards our cottage outside Derry, to find a tourist attraction to stop at. The nearest appeared to be something called the Tirkane Sweat house. Clicking on it revealed something that looked like a cross between a grass igloo and an ice house. I was intrigued. I failed to mention to Marcel that the review also mentioned cave spiders. I wasn’t sure if they meant it as a joke.

It was beautifully sunny out, and the sweat lodge (built in the 18th century) was located by a tiny stream. The entrance however appears to have been designed for badgers. Beplagued with cold, I was not in the mood for crawling into an abandoned sweat lodge full of spiders, so I decided to let Marcel explore that one alone. Apparently they weren’t joking about the cave spiders. Sorry Marcel.

We drove on to our cottage, through blazing sunshine, verdantly green fields, herds of sheep and a weirdly high number of donkeys. I think I saw more donkeys in a week in Northern Ireland than I’ve seen in my entire life to date. If anyone knows why they love donkeys so much in these parts, please let me know. It looked lovely. It didn’t smell so great though, as apparently the trick to all those glowing green fields is spraying manure on them.

Our cottage was in the middle of nowhere, and the views looked amazing in the sun. 

We’d vaguely discussed going into Derry for dinners, but since I was feeling like shit, I decided we’d self-cater (aka Marcel would make dinner) and so we went to Tesco’s, stocked up on all the supplies and bought a board game as the wifi was broken there. Then we wiled away a pleasant evening in front of the fire, bitterly competing to win the most games.

The next day was forecast to have the better weather, so we decided to do all the “big” local sites. This started with Dunlace Castle. Only you had to pay £5.50 each and up close it didn’t look that impressive and was having some restoration works done, so we decided to stick with the (free) views from the surrounds of Dunlace castle.

The next stop off was the Giant’s Causeway. This is so beloved of UK school textbooks, that I felt like I was on a geography field trip 20 years too late. This was probably helped by being surrounded by herds of windswept teenagers in pac-a-macs. It was National Trust so we got in for free and it is pretty interesting geologically, but I think the main pleasure of the site would have been the hikes you can do around it where you can see some of the similar rock formations without groups of surly teenagers huddled on them (and large numbers of American tourists, revisiting their very, very distant Irish roots). However, alas I was still wheezing like a dying accordion and it took forever and all my breath to get up and down to the Causeway (I refused to take the bus with all the lazy people) so no hikes for us.

After that we headed on to the Carrick-a-Rede rope bridge, which is also owned by the National Trust (another free entry! Win!). This was my suggestion and Marcel was surprised by it because I’m notoriously not great with heights (understatement) and this is a swinging rope bridge that sways 30m over the rocks below. I reassured him though that I was totally up for it. We walked the mile there, along a cliff top path, watching gulls swoop below us whilst bored-looking sheep watched us. We descended the steps down to it. I took one look at it and decided that was a hard nope from me, and refused to go any further. No idea what temporary delusion made me ever think I might. Marcel did head across there though. I bravely photographed him.

All that exercise (a mile is a long way to walk if you are wheezing away with a cough and asthma) and fear-by-proxy had left me hungry. We luckily found a lovely cafe nearby for rhubarb tart, which was located in a village (Ballintoy) that served as a harbour for a scene in Game of Thrones. It was quite windy and the sea rather pleasantly kept breaking over the rocks and the sea wall, which was nice to watch in a “thank god I’m on dry land” way.

On our way back, we decided to swing past The Dark Hedges, which is a photogenic avenue of beech trees that features in pretty much all of Northern Ireland’s tourism materials and a few movies and TV shows. Local and visiting idiots had carved their names into the fairly ancient beech trees, which meant I was seething with pure rage throughout. I like to think of myself as a fairly liberal person…apart from when it comes to people who write their names on historical sites and sites of natural beauty, where I feel the only reasonable punishment is removal of both hands with a fairly blunt axe.

The next morning we were slightly delayed as our airbnb owners had arranged for the BT wifi repair man to come and we had to let him in. I was slightly of the mind that I didn’t really care if we didn’t have internet for the <24 hours of the rest of our stay and I wasn’t really up for hanging around so the next guests could have wifi, but Marcel is a nicer person/a pushover so we did. Our repair man was extremely chatty and did give us some tourist tips, so I guess that was something

We started off having a wander around Derry. It has city walls and from there you can look over most of the town and see bits like Bogside (famous for the Bloody Sunday massacre), the cathedral and the guild hall. It was a relatively pleasant wander, but that was really all I felt I needed to see or do in Derry.

The weather however had just turned sunny as we left Derry to drive up for a fort called Grianan of Aileach. Luckily the whole Brexit debacle had been suspended, because it was just over the border in Donegal. It was my favourite sort of hill fort, in that you could drive right up to it and then get incredible views of the surrounding countryside with very minimal effort.

After a quick lunch (which we could thankfully pay for on card as we had no euros) we headed off to a beach Marcel had picked called Five Fingers Strand at the very north of the Inishowen peninsula. It was my favourite sort of beach- sandy, dramatic scenery behind it and windswept enough that it was pleasantly empty and you didn’t get too hot going for a walk along it, looking at the incredibly rough sea (definitely not a good swimming spot). It was a lovely end to the day out.

The next morning we had to say a sad goodbye to our cottage. We had to be in Belfast in the evening, but we decided to take a very scenic route there. First off, we stopped and wandered down the beach and around the very scenic village of Cushendun. It is apparently the closest point in Northern Ireland to the mainland UK as the Mull of Kintyre is just 16 miles across the water and due to the fact it was a beautifully clear day, very visible. Having been to Iona and it’s abbey on our round the UK road trip, it did make you realise why the Irish monks started out over there since they must have pretty much been able to see the heathens on the horizon.

Our next stop was to look around the walled gardens at Glenarm Castle. They are pretty nicely done and made a nice stop off and wander around, although our plan to visit their tea room for lunch was somewhat thwarted by apparently everyone else in a 50 mile radius having the same plan. 

Starving, we ended up driving into Larne. Not a great looking town but they were having an arts festival that involved having lots of umbrellas hanging in the streets, which cheered things up a bit.

We had to drive the car back to the shitty airport and then get a bus into town to our airbnb so by the time we arrived we weren’t much for exploring the joys of Belfast in the rain but instead hunkered down with takeout for an early evening.

The next day I had designated our “explore Belfast” day. Unfortunately a bunch of attractions aren’t open on a Monday, which this was, so that was a bit of a planning fail on my part. The Titanic museum, which is probably Belfast’s biggest attraction was though so we walked on over there (via a big fish and some very random sculptures made of recycling). 

The museum is huge and is slightly misnamed as a good proportion of it is just on life in Belfast at that time. Which was pretty interesting, as I know the story of the Titanic, but to be honest I don’t know much of Northern Ireland apart from the Troubles. Anyway, now I know all about it’s linen industry, rapid growth and rope factories. So you learn something new everyday. Also I do like giant engineering projects, so a museum that dedicated a lot of time to that whilst surrounded by cargo ships offloading and giant cranes made me happy. I wanted to see it’s dry dock, which is down the road because I read you could go down into it and really get a sense of the scale, so we wandered on down there….to find the only access was through a cafe, which had unexpectedly closed a fortnight previously. So that was a wee bit annoying, but hey, got some exercise.

By the evening, we were pretty tired from all our wanderings and since our whole point of being in Northern Ireland, the conference, started the next day, we decided to stay in and get an early night.

The next morning we walked the extremely agreeable 3 minutes from our Airbnb to the Europa hotel, which is apparently the most bombed hotel in the world. Dunno quite what made everyone hate it so much they bombed it 36 times, since it seemed pretty nice. The result of this is that there are pretty much no bins anywhere in the place. This normally wouldn’t be a problem but they fed us about every 10 minutes at the conference and you’d end up wandering around with a disposable cup or plate for ages, ruing the absence of bins. However the combination of 20 minute lectures for our short attention spans and being fed nice food at extremely regular intervals meant I had rather an enjoyable time.

That evening we had a booking at a restaurant Marcel had seen reviewed in the guardian a few months previously called Six by Nico, that serves a different six course tasting menu every 6 weeks. When we were there it was based on a fish and chips theme, which luckily they interpreted very liberally for vegetarians. We also got free snacks so by the end I pretty much had to be rolled home.

Perhaps as a result of the indigestion I couldn’t really sleep that night. I got up to go to the loo at about 2am and as I got back into bed I saw the orange lights from the street flickering on the ceiling and thought “man, street lights flicker more than I realised”. Then Marcel, woken by the shouting I was oblivious to thanks to my ear plugs got out of bed and pointed out the apartment block on the other side of the car park was on fire.

Now we have a Northern Irish friend who has quite the loud speaking voice. I always thought it was just one of his characteristics, but then on arriving in Northern Ireland I realised actually EVERYONE there has somewhat of a foghorn for a voice. And now all the foghorns in our block of flats were directed at bellowing the people in the flats opposite out of their flats. Whilst we could obviously see the flames much more clearly than they could, it was amazing how slow and reluctant people were to evacuate when there was very clearly a lot of smoke billowing out. It was pretty horrifying how quickly it spread from the original flat to the flat above- in under 2 minutes it had set fire to their balcony, set fire to the uPVC windows, exploded the glass and spread into the flat above. Even though the fire brigade came pretty rapidly and poured what seemed like thousands of litres of water onto it, it took ages to control. It was was a very sombre reminder to check our smoke alarms, carbon monoxide alarm etc on our return.

It also meant we were somewhat shattered at the conference the next day. I’m terrible for falling asleep in lectures at the best of times, so expended all my energy on staying awake (luckily the seating was pretty uncomfortable). That meant by the evening neither of us were interested in doing much so we stayed home and I re-read A Country Doctor’s Notebook, which I first read as a medical student. Still love how whilst medicine has changed so much, the emotions of those providing it really haven’t. When I read it the first time around it was a huge comfort to remember at least I wouldn’t be left to amputate a leg single-handedly on my first day. It is still a comfort that I haven’t had to do that after practising for 7 years.

The next day was the last day of the conference, which meant dragging our suitcase to the hotel and persuading them to let us leave it in their left luggage room. Which they were surprisingly okay with, despite the history of bombs and the total absence of bins. I shan’t question the logic of that because it was hugely in our favour. The conference finished early on the last day, and so we had time to visit one of the attractions that first drew me to Northern Ireland. The Game of Thrones tapestry. Now I do like Game of Thrones, but what I really love is eccentric projects, the bigger the better, and a 66m tapestry commemorating the gore, orgies and weirdness of a TV show was right up my street. Reader, it was JUST AS GOOD as I thought it would be. I loved it. I also like to think of all the confused 90 year old grandma’s hand-stitching the details of orgies and brutal murders, wondering what the hell this was all about.

The museum it was in (The Ulster Museum) was pretty good too so I was very pleased with it for the grand entry price of free. It is right next to some gardens with a victorian glasshouse and fernery (apparently that was all the rage in Victorian Britain) so that was a nice end to our time in Belfast, before heading off back to the airport.

Whilst the weather had held until we were on the bus, by the time was reached the airport it was 4c with freezing horizontal rain and high winds. Normally not a problem but our plane naturally was on the other side of the tarmac and we had to walk about 5 minutes over to it and then queue, trying to angle our bodies like penguins in a huddle, to be out of the worst wind to board. By the time people got on the plane they were streaming water onto the floors and seats. Not the best goodbye to a fun week in Northern Ireland.

In other goodbyes, my suitcase, which has been fraying around the corners for a while and has a wonky wheel, finally developed a huge crack in the handle that meant it is finally time to say goodbye. This suitcase has been with me I think on every trip on this blog and held up amazingly well as that’s probably 18 months of being sat on every day whilst I try and wrench the zips closed over it’s overstuffed contents. I will miss it and suitcase, I’m sorry that whilst you got to see all of the lower 48 and Hawaii, you never saw Alaska. I hope Greenland compensated.

[turntothree]

Ry& Reaction: Wolves & Shepherds

E3 came early this year! ...OK, it didn’t but it certainly felt that way, kind of.

It seems in recent years, game publishers have been tripping over themselves to take up valuable space on that pre-show hype train. I’m talking teasers, press releases, cryptic tweets and anything else they can think of to score some attention before the big three step in and snatch the spotlight. Hell, we’ve seen E3 grow an extra couple days to accommodate more publisher-sponsored events.

Editor’s Note: Really looking forward to that keynote, Devolver Digital!

A few weeks back, Ubisoft decided to do things its own way and steer the train in a slightly different direction with a bombshell announcement most other companies would save for the trade show.

Editor’s Note: NO! NO! That wasn’t released, it escaped!

Damn, man. I was just kidding. It’s going to be alright.

Anyway...this is what I’m really talking about.

Yup, the French gaming giant casually name dropped one of its top secret E3 reveals in a nonchalant tweet, a whole month before the show. But it didn’t stop there. One week later, the aforementioned Youtube suite released a...let’s call it “tourism video” for the humble little town of Hope County, Montana.  

Editor’s Note: I have a “MIGHTY” fine feeling about this place.

What? You’ve got crisp country air for breathin’, plenty of wild game for huntin, a nice clean creek for fishin’ and plenty of big ol’ green acres to roam. Of course, you’d have to overlook the constant bear attacks, air strikes, ominously empty streets and the prospect of being randomly murdered, but what town doesn’t have its share of problems?  

Editor’s Note: Wait...wasn’t Far Cry 4’s announcement handled in a similar fashion? Letting the fanbase sneak a peek behind the curtain; then slamming the curtain back down until a good and proper reveal at E3? Isn’t that what’s going on here?

You’d think so, but...

Dateline – May 26, 2017

IGN’s Daemon Hatfield and Marty Silva greeted the California sunrise with a live (and exclusive) reveal of Far Cry 5’s first proper trailer. In it, would-be players are told the sad tale of how a struggling working-class town was taken in by a wealthy con artist who promised the world.

This self-proclaimed “prophet” Joseph Seed and his twisted family of disciples preached of peace and prosperity; instead they delivered onto his flock a life of servitude and unabashed cruelty. He used his good fortune to giveith himself their property. He used his cultish militia to takeith away their free will. The chosen among “his” townsfolk would be baptised into his parish or they would surely perish.

In a town past the edge of civility, a brave few in the community have chosen to fight back against Seed’s ghoulish gospel and reclaim what’s theirs. In this holy war for the soul of America’s heart land, it is up to the player to lead the resistance. 

That’s the story (at least up to that point)...as for gameplay, the trailer didn’t show too much, but it caught fans a quick glimpse at some old and new tricks alike.

As said previously, the hunting mechanics are back, but with a new batch of wildlife to track. Bears, deer, wolves, cows and bulls are among the critters in the mix. In a similar vain, fishing will be implemented into the series for the first time. Catch and fry up some bass for hit points!

Also returning are the conveniently placed vehicles. Fast travel and open road/seas/(and for the first time) sky combat will be a breeze with your choice of motor boats, ATVs, 18 wheelers, muscle cars and fighter planes. 

Of course, the series’ standard first-person gunplay will remain locked and loaded.

Oh and the world-wide release date for Far Cry 5 has been set for February 27, 2018. The platforms in which it will be made available are as follows: Xbox One, PlayStation 4 and PC. Sorry, Nintendo fans. No Switch port is planned.

Editor’s Note: That’s a fair bit of information. Surely, that’s enough to appease fans for now.

Actually, Ubisoft continued the Youtube rollout with three more trailers; specifically the stories of the three main support characters as told by them in direct conversation with the player.

Meet Nick Rye: A third-generation fighter pilot who had been fortunate enough to have never seen combat, but when “Eden’s Gate” comes knockin’ on his doorstep, Nick is the first to enlist in the resistance.

Meet Mary May Fairgrave: A bartender pushed to the edge after both her brother and mother are kidnapped by Seed’s followers; now her family-owned establishment serves as a home for anyone looking to bust a cap in “Eden’s Ass!”

Meet Jerome Jefferies: The local pastor turned shepherd in wolves clothing; charged with the task of taking back the flock “father” Seed had led astray.

Monologues aside, the folks at UbiBlog also had the chance to catch up with Far Cry 5 Creative Director Dan Hay, who discussed the modern day anxieties, urban legends and Montana road trip that inspired the game’s theme and setting. That interview was also posted to Youtube.  

Editor’s Note: ...Anything else?

Then the press releases rolled out and the media was all over it.

Details of full campaign co-op; a customizable protagonist (who also happens to be the sheriff’s deputy); and so much pending controversy plastered the headlines.

Oh yeah, and there has also been some talk about melee combat specific scenarios being worked into the game. New weapons such as baseball bats, sledgehammers and pitchforks will be implemented as part of the series’ inventory.

image credit - 20th Century Fox

Editor’s Note: Wow! That’s an awful lot to tell so soon. What’s left for the E3 showing?

Actually, there’s still plenty to juicy reveal tidbits to share. Like say, an in-depth look at “Eden’s Gate”. We know so much about the heroes, but we haven’t really seen much of anything concerning the big bads, nor do we know the why or how of their hostile takeover.

There’s also the new feature Ubisoft promised to show off during its presser. If I had to wager a guess, I’d say it’s either the campaign’s co-op option or the flight mechanics.

Editor’s Note: Even still, why reveal so much about the game now? Why not leave it all as a major E3 surprise?   

My theory, the publisher wants the press to focus its collective energy on whatever new Ubisoft IPs (and or Assassin’s Creed sequel) premier that fateful day, so it’s trying to answer the more common Far Cry questions ASAP. Also, all this Far Cry hype sure makes for a damn fine centerpiece.

...

Editor’s Note: Thoughts on what you’ve seen and read so far?

 *Sigh* I guess I should start off by addressing the elephant in the room – the story.

For all of the hullabaloo, it’s nothing new. The town overrun with zealot cultists ranks among the classics of horror tropes, and stories (subtly or not) inspired by political unrest are certainly commonplace, even in the world video games.

Editor’s Note: And they’re only going to get more common over the next, let’s say four years?

While these character archetypes and plot devices may seem a tad (or more) over done, that doesn’t mean they can’t be used to tell a good story. In fact, I trust Ubisoft Montreal to do just that. That’s not to say I didn’t have any reservations or crack a joke or two at first glance, but the deeper the Youtube showings went, the more invested I got.

Hearing the stories of Nick, Mary and Pastor Jerome gave me Goosebumps, and I instantly wanted to know more about what was going on and how they aimed to deal with it.

Editor’s Note: Forget this customizable protagonist nonsense, Ubisoft. Rip-off Rockstar so I can swap between these three heroes!

The villains on the other hand, I have no real opinion of, yet. Sure, Ubi is more than capable of creating the type of sinisterly charismatic baddies this plot calls for (shout out to Vaas and Pagan Min), so I feel “Eden’s Gate” has plenty of potential. However, I can’t judge Seed or his siblings sight unseen.

...Promo images excluded, of course.

Editor’s Note: Speaking of elephants, Far Cry 4 let me wreck shit on elephant back. Surely, Ubisoft can’t just expect me to go back to primitive man power.

I don’t believe the southern United States is an elephant’s natural habitat.  

Editor’s Note: i dOn’T bEliEVe tHE SoUtHERn UnITeD StATeS iS aN eLePHaNT’s nAtURal hAbITat.

...

OK, so Montana isn’t normally thought of alongside the exotic locales the series is known for, but the more I’ve thought it over, the more I’ve come to realize it’s the perfect setting for a Far Cry game.

It’s beautiful and serene territory hosts some gorgeous natural splendour...it also has some hidden and very real dangers entrenched deep within its forestry and rocky domains. The ravenous wolves, perilous coyote packs, rabid dogs, wild bulls and massive grizzlies will be just as, if not more formidable than the tigers and honey badgers of previous games.

If you’re luckily enough to be the hunter, as opposed to the hunted, you’ll be able to score some prime cuts of meat for health boosts, and some fine pelts for crafting items.

Of course, there’s also the option to fish for some grub. That could be fun for a bit.

Editor’s Note: As long as it’s SEGA Bass Fishing quality and not Sonic Adventure quality, I’m totally up to do a little fishin’.

Not to mention the prospect of being hunted down by a bunch of gun-toting manics does compliment itself rather terrifyingly well to the whole outdoor survivalist angle, much like the militants and royal guardsmen of entries 1-4.

Yeah, the setting might be a little different and the enemies might be a little different but this is still very much Far Cry, with all the fun DIY M-A-Y-H-E-M that comes with it.

Speaking of what makes Far Cry - Far Cry, let’s talk vehicles. This pitched selection is cool as frig!

Tarring through the countryside in a muscle car or big rig, and the promise of delivering some cathartic death from above sounds absolutely sick!

Editor’s Note: Hopefully, the air battles can match stuff like Ace Combat or Battlefield 1. Now that would be sick.

Anything else...oh, right; campaign co-op. It’s a great idea!

I can’t recall the number of times I played through a mission in Far Cry 4 only to find myself completely surrounded and desperately wishing I had back-up. The ability to call in a buddy should certainly make breaking through those impenetrable compounds at least a little bit more bearable.

Editor’s Note: This all sounds rad...still wish I had my elephant though.

...

I honestly don’t quite know how to cap this off. I guess I could say:

Far Cry 5 has all the potential in the world to be a great action game, as its pedigree can attest. The guns, explosions, fast rides, deadly beasts, and vast destructible set pieces are all on lock. It has all it needs to kick ass and take names. But its creative direction is taking the series into some unknown and fairly risky territory.

There’s certainly plenty of potential in the characters and setting presented, as I’ve said earlier. However, the direction the game seems to be heading could cause a drastic tonal shift that throws the entire thing off kilter. This building sense of horror, sorrow and despair, and to have it all inspired by today’s political climate could put a major damper on the aforementioned ass-kicking and taking of names.

It’s going to be tough and sadly, it might even get a little ugly, but Ubisoft has a rock solid creative team and I do believe they can make these pieces fit into something truly great. At least I hope so.

...

...

Boy that sure was some dark stuff. Let’s lighten things up next time by battling it out Poké-Style!

#Far Cry 5 #Ubisoft #Xbox One #PS4

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 2x12 recap

(Aka the one where Roman gets to go on an outing, the show rights a bunch of wrongs, and Weller develops new fantasies regarding Jane and motorbikes)

So this is the first episode I’ve been able to/have chosen to watch live since seeing the pilot at Comic Con-- thanks to the triple miracles of live online streaming, a deserted office in a currently unused part of the hospital, and a rare patient-free afternoon-- and man am I so glad I did. Lbr I rode the high from this ep for the rest of the damn day (okay, week) lol.

Which, naturally, means that there is a ridiculous amount of flailing waiting below the cut. Enjoy.

So Weller seems to be regretting his boss-role rn as he is badgered by an assistant lol-- one named either Brianna or Rihanna (seriously Weller you need to enunciate more clearly sometimes), which is a fact that apparently either Weller briefly forgot, or Sully did, since there was just a fraction of a pause before he said her name haha. And okay Weller I know you are sad about the whole bye-bye baby thing (goddammit now I have Bay City Rollers in my head), but seriously, someone in your position should NOT be signing anything without reading it first! Like, who is this ‘new analyst’, who is being tested for drugs, who is getting security credentials for the deputies committee, and exactly what's in the departmental budget?? What if the ‘budget’ you just signed cuts all the funding to the Sandstorm taskforce? Or if any of the security passes you just approved are going to Sandstorm moles?? Dude. As a sidenote, though, I like Weller's signature, and it entertains me because its style is literally exactly the same as Sully's signature. Which is hardly surprising, obviously, but cute all the same. Man we really need them to get a new Assistant Director though-- Weller never seems happy behind a desk, as demonstrated by the fact he literally ran when he got the message from Patterson lol. The boy needs to be out in the field, needs to be running free with a gun in his hand and his wifey beside him, saving the world

Loolllll I love Zapata teasing Reade about his hookup last night. He tries to act all affronted and reminds her that the girl has a name, only for it to immediately backfire when she challenges him to tell her what it is because he doesn't know either. Oh, you really backed yourself right into that corner, buddy. And then in very sibling-esque fashion he's just like 'argh I don’t have a comeback to that so just leave me alone alright' lol. And omg speaking of siblings, Jane is proudly telling everyone how Roman solved the leopard tattoo, while Patterson mutters little corrections from the background, a tiny bit put out that Roman is getting all the credit for her discovery and analysis. Shhh, it's okay, baby. They all know you're the smartest one in the room, not to mention that you've cracked like 90% of the tattoos. Let Jane have her moment of being a doting big sister haha. But anyhow Patterson still has the kicker-- not only does the tattoo point to the biker gang (okay so we call them 'bikies' in Australia, so you have no idea how hard I have to concentrate to type ‘biker gang’ each time) but anyway it actually revolved around a government agent that was running guns over the border for them, and he was already caught just before the tattooing happened, which could be why Sandstorm scrapped the leopard tattoo. Jane is all for using the photo of the biker girl to help jog Roman's memory, whereas Nas (and her pet shrink) are against triggering any more memories on the belief that it will also trigger his 'antisocial behaviour'. Hey does anyone remember that scene in the movie iRobot, where Will Smith sneezes and apologises for being allergic to bullshit? I wanna put him in a room with Nas and her shrink and watch him dissolve into a marathon of constant sneezing fits every time either of them opens their mouth. But hey, maybe they're actually totally right, like remember how Jane's memory of shooting a nun made her go on a killing spree in every church she could find? Oh, wait... 

But anyhow, thankfully Weller is seeing a bit more sense this week, and immediately backs up his wifey, leading he, Nas and Jane to stand in the next room and watch as the shrink prompts Roman with the photo. I have to say, using the motorbike sounds was a good move, and clearly it worked. I'm excited to see him having real memories of his adult life, especially ones that could give us more clues to Sandstorm’s plans. And in the memory, Kat's teasing concern about him driving over potholes definitely implies that he's transporting explosives. But then again, this is Sandstorm, and they collect explosives like birds collect shiny things, so it’s hardly a revelation. And ughhh Weller and Jane share a meaningful look (with Nas again forgotten in the background, my second-favourite way for her to be, the first being absent altogether) and then Roman looks to Jane, who gives him an approving smile and a nod and my baBY SmiLES baCK and ugh just look at this puppy. Look at him. He's adorable and we need to keep him, even if he used to bite people and chew everything and pee on the rug. We'll train him up and he will be a Good Boy, I swear. 

So with this fresh intel, the team reconvenes in the meeting room, and tbh despite Weller being the one standing at the end of the table, Jane is totally the one running this show, and he's literally just watching her in rapt attention haha. And as she poses the theory that the tattoo was removed by Sandstorm because it might link too closely back to them, everyone actually listens, with not even a skeptical glance from Reade of a snarky comment from Zapata. Jane might not be entirely forgiven yet, but she's finally no longer a scapegoat, and I LOVE IT. And you know who has noticed this change too? Nas. She's definitely seeing the old team start to knit back together, and in particular the old partnership reforming between Weller and Jane, and she knows it doesn't bode well for her. Damn straight, lady. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. (Or, as you do with everything else, just pretend to and then lie about it). But anyway here comes the real kicker of the ep-- the biker gang is notorious for never snitching, which means they need someone on the inside, and I love how straightforward and 'in the box' the team's thinking can sometimes be, because the moment Jane suggests sending Roman in, they're all like "whaaaaaaa????" as if that option had never even had the possibility of occurring to them. Like yes, fair enough he's kinda a 'prisoner of war' at the moment, but he's also their only current choice, so...? But ugh, I love that even though Weller is taken aback by her suggestion, he lets her make her case, his eyes never leaving hers even for a second. (Be still my bruised little shipper heart.) And then they seemingly get the shrink to come in to give her opinion, and I like that Weller is now sitting down at the table rather than standing like before, as if putting them all on even ground. Everyone gets a chance to have input. And then ugh: "He's a terrorist"//"So was I". Wow, Jane, that's a big statement. Just look at my baby taking responsibility for what her past self has done, even if she is now a completely different person and would never do the things Remi did. And lil Patterson next to her raises the point that they didn't know that she was a terrorist, and I love that after she says this, she keeps her eyes locked with Jane's even as Nas is saying her piece (lbr Nas isn't worth her attention anyway) but ugh I just love how expressive that look is? Is she thinking about Borden, and how they never knew HE was a terrorist? Or is it a look of apology, like 'I'm sorry we considered you a terrorist for a while', or both, or...? Honestly I really want to see more of the relationship between these two, especially if it involves seeing Jane supporting Patterson in her grief/betrayal over Borden. But anyway Nas raises the point that they know nothing about Roman's past interactions with the gang, so they'd essentially be going in there blind, and the shrink chimes in that in that setting he might suddenly lash out and become violent. God, she sounds like a broken record. And then when Jane says she can keep him in line because of their relationship, the shrink insists (after spending literally like 15 mins total with him) that he is completely incapable of love or human connection and therefore Jane won't be able to handle him. Geeeezzzz, lady, if anyone with any psych training overheard you spouting this crap, you'd probably get deregistered. Psychology might not be an ‘exact’ science but that still doesn't mean you can just make up whatever shit you want!!! Ugh. But anyway, what's this???? My son has finally found both his common sense and his spine, and firmly states that they need to do whatever it takes to stop Phase 2, and that includes taking this chance on Roman. Which basically just translates to "I trust my wifey so now you all better as well". Nas looks understandably bummed at this, because clearly she's watching the tight leash she had on Weller fray and snap, and she knows she'll never reel him back in again. Whereas my precious Jane can barely believe her ears-- she's so used to all her ideas and suggestions being ignored or smacked down, and her feelings disregarded, but not anymore. All that's changing now that Weller's head has been freed from his ass, and I absolutely love the resigned looks from all the others like 'oh we're back to this then, the Weller and Jane show" lol (but for real hallelujah)

Nawww Roman, so desperate to get out but then asking uncertainly if she's sure that letting him out is actually a good idea.  And ugh she's so supportive and encouraging and assures him that she trusts him when he's worried that he'll hurt people. See that concern for the well-being of others?? That alone literally DISQUALIFIES him for a diagnosis of Antisocial Personality Disorder. Ugh. I literally want to find the biggest psych textbook I can find, open it to the page on APD, and then throw it at the shrink's face. But anyway omg-- this moment in the bullpen. I can’t. The team’s all right there; Patterson slowly pacing with an ‘I don't know if this is a good ideaaaa...’ expression on her face, Reade with his hand shoved in his pockets and a ‘This is totally a bad idea’ expression (and Zapata doing pretty much the same, except with arms crossed), and Nas standing off to the side fidgeting with her phone and looking vaguely guilty. Although lbr that's probably just her shadiness manifesting physically, so meh. But then there's freakin' Weller standing there in his nice suit looking like he's doing a practice run for when he's at the altar and Roman walks Jane down the aisle toward him. I literally cannot deal rn. And ugh then Jane gently guides Roman through the bullpen, reassuring him that though he may not have many supporters among the FBI right now, she will always support him. And lbr she knows what it's like to walk through this bullpen and have everyone eyeing you with dislike and distrust. But she was able to rise above it and earn her place back, and Roman will earn his. But aaaahhhhh Weller greets him by name and thanks (!!) him for helping them and ugh I'm really emotional about it. Though lbr he's gotta be on his best behaviour, I mean this is his future brother-in-law, after all. Patterson follows his polite lead, though is clearly uncomfortable. But I'm actually impressed with how the team rallies, putting aside their discomfort and getting down to business. (Gotta defeat those Huns). But come on, guys, don't give those looks when he mentions a gun. Literally anyone would be wanting to know if they're going to have any protection when walking in to a possible deathtrap. Of course, Jane smoothly handles the situation, throwing a brief look of gratitude at Weller as she leads Roman out to get some clothes. A look which Nas definitely doesn't miss, nor does she miss the way Weller himself watches the siblings walk away.... 

Speaking of this brother-sister team, damn are they looking both badass and fine as they walk into the bar. And ugh Jane is so supportive of him. Which is kinda the opposite of Remi, apparently, who is being pretty damn harsh to him in this memory while she unpacks a whole heap of C4. (Good thing New Roman knows that Jane was wiped too, and is nothing like his sister used to be!). But oh boy, this memory has just taught us that Roman and Kat were a lot more than strangers. Which is kinda sweet, but definitely not good for them right now. His "We have a problem" is so cute haha. And then Kat (who is stunning, by the way, good taste Roman) comes over and punches him in the face. And well, at least we know he doesn't immediately flip into violent mode when attacked? Also tbh he's actually doing a really good job at being out in the field, reading the situation and thinking on his feet just like Jane does. I feel so proud. And now they've managed to score a meeting with the big boss-- who we know is Bad and Dangerous bc he's beating the crap out of some guy the moment we meet him. Also Jane said earlier she'd have a gun on her but the dudes didn't say anything when they searched her-- did they just take it, or did she not have one? Idk I'm just curious. But ugh then my babies cleverly construct a story using just enough truth to be believable, giving an excuse for both his absence and any future 'unusual' behaviour. Then they broker a deal where if the bikers set up a sale and draw Shepherd out, the gang will get to keep both the money and the fancy explosives that Shepherd apparently wants. And ugh I'm so proud of my baby Roman, bluffing that he knows where to get the explosives and agreeing to the bikers coming along to steal it. My puppy is doing so well. And then just to remind us again how Scary this biker dude is, he shoots the unconscious form of the dude he's been beating. Better keep working on those poker faces, guys, because I saw the utter empathy from both of you just then ugh

Back at the lab, the team is chastising Roman for doing things the way he did, and while I'm kinda like ‘leave him alone guys he did his best’, I do appreciate that one of their main arguments is that he could have gotten Jane killed. Because they CARE. They don't want to see anything happen to her because she's one of them and I'm so emotional about it. Anyway Zapata raises a very good point, one that I've been waiting for someone to mention-- basically that Shepherd herself probably won't show for the sale anyway, but Weller points out that capturing any Sandstorm operative would be a huge help to them. I like that Roman is kind of excluded from that category, and I know it's pretty much only bc he has no memories of it, but still. And then Patterson makes it clear that the only way to get this military-grade explosive is to steal it, and Nas is all ‘meh so they'll steal it’ and walks out to start some shady dealings, and pretty much everyone stares after her like she's just grown another head. Are you really surprised, guys?? Nas doesn't exactly give a shit about doing things by the rules... rules other than her own, anyway. And then Patterson and Zapata are all 'we can't give real explosives to a biker gang and a terrorist group' but Weller knows Jane's right when she says they’ll test whatever they do get and won’t react well to fakes, so they need to use the real stuff.

Reade admits to Zapata about Freddy's ex and how both of them were feeling guilty, and as usual she immediately defends what he did and tries to convince him to let it go, bc she knows that if he’s not careful, he'll let his guilt grow into a self-destructiveness that could have huge consequences. And speaking of that kind of guilt, Patterson approaches Nas about wanting to be present for the Sandstorm trap, and her guilt over Borden and ughhhh my baby is hurting so much (damn you Borden!!!) but it's interesting how her words kind of describe the S1 Weller/Jane situation a tiny bit (Weller's feelings for Jane clouding his judgement, blinding him to reality, and vice versa) and apparently also describe Nas's experience at the NSA. So the Sandstorm mole in her department was her lover? Interesting. I wonder if the shrink worked with her there too, and that's how she got her injury? But anyway yaaaasss Patterson getting (rightfully) angry at Nas for being blind to Borden's betrayal bc she was too busy spying on the rest of them-- finally someone calls her on it! You go, Patterson. 

Oooooh I am so here for Weller calling Jane aside, his hand lingering unnecessarily at her back as he draws her away from Roman, the sad-hearteyes fixed on her as he tells her to be careful, not to let her guard down around Roman. And then ugh "I know you want Roman to be something different, but you have to treat him like any dangerous asset, the same way I treated you when I found out who you were". Ugh, I love the implication here that he didn't really want to treat her like he did, but treated her how he felt he had to. (After she came back, I mean. That night he arrested her he wasn't really thinking through his actions at all). And then ugh she calls him Kurt and insists that Roman wouldn't hurt her and that he is capable of love and I love how balanced their exchanges are now? They're totally on the same level, no bitterness or pain between them. Just two people who know each other as well as they know themselves. And aaahhh Weller is honest about his concerns that Roman is manipulating her and manipulated Kat, too, the way ‘she manipulated Jeffrey Cantor’, aka using his feelings for her to get what she wanted. I LOVE that he knows that wasn't the case with him. Everything between them was real, he knows that now. But ugh I love the look Roman throws at Weller as he and Jane get in the elevator. Lbr, he knows Weller is in love with her-- he doesn't need his memories to know that, not when it’s written all over Weller’s face.

Nawww Roman telling the bikers the plan and answering all their questions so confidently and ugh I am so proud of my lil puppy. Also lol I love the fact that Mr Scary Biker Man is scared of Shepherd. And then aaahhh they all head off and Kat rides with Roman, and "How come you never came back for me?"//"You ever came looking". Damn, boy, you're smooth! Also uh oh she just gave him a gun, hope he won't need to use it... but duuuuude this whole bike-to-truck thing is crazy! How did he know he'd even be able to do that??? I can't believe he didn't lose his balance and splat on the road lol. And then omg the drivers are Weller and Reade????? Oh geeeezzzzz this can't go well. Jane doesn't look surprised at all to see them, though, so I'm guessing it was part of the plan? And so the bikers now have the explosives, but in a shocking-- lbr not all that shocking-- twist, Roman now has to kill Weller and Reade. Sigh guys, are you really telling me you didn't think this miiiight happen if you were witnesses to this whole thing? The two of them look shocked, but that just might be their acting (nice work boys) whereas Jane's pokerface definitely slips into genuine fear for them both, before she quickly covers and tries to talk the bikers out of it without making it too obvious that she's trying to protect them. But my puppy Roman knows that if he doesn't kill them, the bikers will kill all four of them, so he takes a chance, the only one that will ensure his sister survives and hopefully that he and Weller and Reade do as well. I'd like to think that he noticed their puffy-looking jackets and realised that they had vests on underneath, but maybe it was just a solid guess. And ugh I just want to hug my baby Jane, because while she doesn't make a sound I can practically see the anguished scream echoing behind her eyes as the two of them fall to the ground. In that moment, she thinks she's lost both the man she loves and a man who's like family to her, plus she thinks that it's her fault and that she was wrong about Roman, and is now still in danger of losing her own life, and on top of that, will be shunned by the rest of her FBI family. Basically, if that moment had been real, Jane would have literally just lost everything. Ugh, can we give her a hug yet? She's still staring at Weller's body when Roman grabs her and pulls her away, and I bet he didn't miss the way she flinched when he touched her. Ugh my baby, it's all okay, he would never hurt your family unless he had no choice, he's just doing what he has to do to protect you! Ngl tho, when he first shot them I was like WHAT!?!?? and then my immediate thought was ‘maybe blanks??’ and then I was like wait no that's not possible bc it was a real gun and then honestly my brain was still freaking out by the time they started picking themselves off the floor and then I was finally like ohhhh rigggghhttt, vests exist haha. I love Reade's "He knew we were wearing vests, right??" Yeah just go with that, Reade, because that's probably the more comforting option. Oooooohh but now Jane is super pissed at Roman, but she can't deny the sense in his words when he said that it was better to risk shooting them in the vest than hesitating too long and having all four of them get shot in the head. Apparently their little ruse worked, too, because the bikers have set up a meeting with Shepherd for later that night. Kat pulls Roman away for a second, and ugh he's sweet with her and honestly even though I'm super hopeful (aka trash) for Roman/Zapata, I'm really kinda shipping these two rn. Like they clearly really cared about each other?? I love seeing more Roman backstory. I wonder what happened that morning that he was supposed to come meet her? Did Remi stop him, or Shepherd? 

They’re back at the FBI now and tbh I’m bummed that we didn’t get to see the scene where Jane and Roman arrive and see Weller and Reade alive and (mostly) unharmed. Is someone gonna fic it, or?? (Please don’t make me do it lol). But anyway aww Jane takes Roman back to his cell, and she knows that he remembered something, and oohhh there's a little bit of tension between them bc he's still got the memory of Remi's treatment of him in his head, plus he feels like the team is still viewing him as the enemy. "You still trust me, right?" Ugh. I really hope he believes that she's being honest when she says yes...

Lol Weller sitting at his desk in a shirt with two bulletholes in it. And ugh Jane watches him through the glass for a second and it's clear she's so guilty that he got hurt and worried that he'll be angry at her or Roman for it and ughhh she's so apologetic as she comes in and then ugh "I'm so thankful that you’re both okay-- when he shot you, I thought--" SHE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD. SHE THOUGHT SHE'D JUST LOST THE MAN SHE LOVES. HELP ME. But thankfully he instantly assures her that Roman made the right call, and that must also be a relief, knowing that her brother wasn't going to face a lynchmob for kinda gambling with their lives. But ugh then the ever-perceptive Jane (who also is just very attuned to Weller, lbr) asks if something else is going on, bc she can tell there's something upsetting him. And for a moment he brushes it off just like he would have earlier this season, and in that time she's learned to obey the dismissal when it's given, so she’s about to leave but then (hallelujah) Weller gives in and confides in her like he used to, admitting that Allie's moving to Colorado. And ughhhh you can see the instant panic and distress in Jane's eyes as she stumbles through asking him whether he's going too, because no no no no please no-- and then ugh the way she lets out a tiny relieved  breath when he says he's staying. She was seriously terrified for a second there that he was going to leave and she'd never see him again. And then as he admits that his place sudenly feels really empty now that there's not gonna be a baby in it, the Jane hearteyes come out, and ugh honestly I think I love them even more than the Weller hearteyes. They're very different, more of a 'I know you will never be mine but I love you with everything that I am and I always will and I would sell my soul in a heartbeat if it meant you would be happy'. UGHHHH SHE JUST LOVES HIM SO MUCH. SO FREAKIN MUUUUUCHHHHH. And she's halfway through saying something sweet and genuine to comfort him and suddenly Zapata's interrupting (what, were Patterson and Nas too busy to perform their usual interrupting duties???) and so now the Feels wil have to wait bc the sting is onnn

Is it just me or is Weller looking very tense?? You know, almost like the woman he loves is walking straight into a potentially deadly situation?? Oh wait... But lol lbr he'd be in there in a heartbeat if there was any sign of anything going wrong. You can bet that he placed himself and Reade-- aka the two big tough men-- at the position closest to be able to get in there and provide help quickly, while Nas and Zapata are sentries around the back or whatever. I'm pleased that there has been very little Nas/Weller teaming up lately, and this time there's not even the potential explanation of Zapata and Reade avoiding each other to account for this split, bc they're all cool now. Maybe it’s because the use that Weller and Nas had for each other has passed... But anyway oh boy, this deserted bar is not a good sign for the amnesiac siblings. And Kat looks piiiissed, even more so when she raises a gun. Ooooh boy the jig really is up. Kat knows Roman's off, apparently because he didn't want to shoot the guys earlier, and because he held her hand. Idk about you, lady, but that kinda seems like an improvement overall?? And Jane agrees: "He's different now, ever since he got shot. He's better." Ugh but that little look Roman gives her when she says it-- I mean, it's kind of praise but also not? Like a 'yay she likes who I am but wow how little did she think of me before?' kinda thing? And then Roman spills the beans about the FBI while Jane is there beside him like 'oh shit', and meanwhile outside Nas is saying they need to go in now-- but Weller (rightly) waves her off without even a moment's pause because "Jane knows what she's doing". Hell yeah, look at all that beautiful support from hubby. And lol devil lady don't think I didn't see that expression on your face. Your witchy words used to have power over Weller, but not anymore. Jane is his talisman, and his love for her not only makes him better in every way, it makes him immune to you as well. To quote King Theoden: You have no power here! lol. But anyway as we're watching the inexorable crumbling of one pairing (I refuse to say 'ship' in regards to them bc imo they don’t qualify) we’re watching another one teeter on the edge-- Roman is all puppy-eyed and spouting ‘I love yous’ and Kat is wavering in her determination to kill them, and Jane is basically in the background trying to be as unobtrusive as possible bc she knows even one wrong look could get them both shot and god I hope she’s picturing Weller in that moment and hoping that she’ll one day get to tell him how she feels and then the scene switches to the other room and BAM there's the gunshots and lol I love all the biker dudes just chillin' and sipping their beer. And then aaaaaah Kat comes out and turns on her own gang for Roman and ughhhhhh I feel like this means things are about to go really badly for her. Ugh, the poor girl. Seems like this show really has a theme about suffering for the ones we love. Anyway lol at the mayhem twins being sprawled over various bits of furniture, like good work guys you're so convincing haha. And then omg they're fighting the guys (lucky only two came in) and I don't think I appreciated this the first time round (literally how do you people deal with watching live?? And only once?? I'm constantly pausing and rewinding when I watch) but anyway Jane pulls a flag off the wall and then uses it as a weapon against her opponent??? Like damn, that was badass. And then Kat literally kills a guy that she's probably known for years to prevent him from going in to join the fight??? Dude. Of course Weller sees the gunfire from outside and is immediately into his MUST SAVE WIFEY mode. Have to say though, said wifey is doing just fine at taking care of herself-- and of her brother-- given that she literally just smashed a chair over a guy to protect an incapacitated Roman. PROTECTIVE SIBLINGS UGHHHHH. But nooooo Kat's been shot (told you she would suffer for loooovee) and Roman doesn’t even notice the presence of the final shooter as he runs to her side-- but thankfully bro-in-law is not about to let anything happen to his wifey's favourite brother, and bursts in and takes the guy out before he can shoot Roman. Jane's in the room seconds later, locking eyes with hubby over the barrels of their guns (well, at least they've got protection for all that intense eye-sexing) and ugh my baby Roman is reassuring Kat and idc if he feels like a fraud, I'm glad she died believing he loved her. And tbh I don't think he was as unaffected as his abrupt turnaround made him seem. I like that he immediately hands off his gun to Weller, and Weller just accepts his determination to get the job done and rolls with it while Jane is still mentally (or rather, emotionally) catching up. Ugh, this trio is going to be the death of me, I just know it.

As they race to the meet point, the invaluable Patterson gives Weller the lowdown while Jane stares at Roman, and then as soon as there's a quiet moment, she checks if he's okay-- with Weller intently listening in. Honestly no one can see how much Jane cares about Roman without instantly becoming a little bit more smitten with her, so it must wreak havoc on Weller’s already Jane-owned heart lol.  Roman then mentions his need to ask Shepherd why she erased his memory, leading to some intense Jeller eye contact in the rear-view. I love that it's not like a guilty glance between co-conspirators; it's more her saying 'I hate that I did this thing and I can't get through it without your support' and him being like 'I know you did this thing because I asked you to and I promise I won't let you carry the weight alone'. Literally no one can convince me it was otherwise lol. Anyway the whole FBI team arrives at the meet point-- SWAT guys and all-- but do we all notice who is front and center, making the calls? Weller... and Jane. Zapata, Reade, and Nas are all a couple of steps back, and the Mere Mortals are even further behind them. And then when everyone fans out, Nas is with Jeller, but still stuck behind as they move together, side by side. As they flank the door, they realise simultaneously that it hasn't been opened in years, and then-- dun dun dun-- they discover that they're too late and Sandstorm has already been and gone, taking the explosive and leaving all the dead bikers. If this ain’t a ‘well, shit’ moment, idk what is lol

Back at the lab, the team is not having a happy time, but I am very much enjoying watching frustrated Weller in his bullet-riddled shirt (dear god please keep the shirt for posterity reasons. Bring it out on holidays/family occasions when you and Roman are arguing about which football team is better or something and be all like "Remember when you shot me?? You don't get to have an opinion!" lol) I mean idk, I'm just really attached to this shirt. I'm sentimental about things like that... bullet riddled shirts, Jane-sized duffelbags, etc... But anyway, damn, Jane is leaning against some pillar thing and even in her dejected state she still looks damn good. Though I do prefer her more natural look, she has really been rocking the dark lipstick and all-black/leather outfit. Damn. But anyhow now the team is debating how Sandstorm could be staying one step ahead of them, and lol literally everyone in the team gets to have input (Patterson's being particularly sad, about how she sweeps for bugs every morning and that maybe there's another mole in the NYO) and then it finally gets to Nas' turn and Weller just totally cuts her off before she even gets three words out. Heheheh that's right, Lady Wormtongue doesn't deserve to have an opinion. And then when she eventually gets to speak-- telling them all that they'll get the explosives back and somehow find Sandstorm, she gets nothing but chilly silence haha. Yaaaassss team. FREEZE HER OUT. DO IT.

Oooooh Mr Grumpy has headed to his office for some Serious Brooding Time (there's even teeth-gnashing and furniture-abusing involved) and we all cross our fingers, hoping for Jane to appear and soothe him as only she can... aaaand instead Nas appears. Boooooo. We’re treated to some insincere apologies and a flimsy explanation of them clouding each others' judgement, and lol I love that she thinks he used the HMX as bait bc she asked him to. Oh, honey, I thought you were supposed to be perceptive??? Literally everyone could see he did that for Jane, just as he let Roman out in the field for Jane. He's back on Jane's side now, and let’s be real now, you know it. Which means you know that being in a relationship* (*term used very lightly) with him is no longer of use to you, because it is no longer an effective means of controlling him. Don't even try to deny that you created this entanglement solely to prevent him getting re-involved with Jane (and also probably to get some good sex out of the deal, lbr here) and now that it is completely failing in its original purpose, you're cutting ties. That's just smart resources management, and you’re nothing if not methodical. But oh man I’m getting a good chuckle out of the line "we have feelings for each other, of course we do". Mmmmm-hmmm. That was so convincing. But loooollll Weller's like 'So that's it then' and literally does nothing to fight it, doesn't offer up any argument, actually almost looks pleased?? Lbr I would have rathered Weller be the one to break things off but this way works for me just fine, bc it's clear that he broke things off emotionally (if they ever even existed emotionally) quite some time ago... 

Aaaaand speaking of nonsensical and emotionless pairings, Reade-- who just happens to have his damn fine chest on display at this moment-- has an unexpected visitor. Freddy's ex (do we have a name for her yet? Calling her Freddy's ex makes me uncomfortable) comes in, while valiantly keeping her eyes up top. Well, mostly. Dw girl, no one is perfect. But anyhow as she cries about being afraid Freddy is dead and having contributed to it, Reade tells half-truths and tries to assuage his own guilt by reassuring her. Following which she becomes VERY concerned with the state of his chest, fussing over bruises that tbh could just be very determined hickeys. But then she touches the ~bare chest~ and seals the Coital Prophecy-- you know, the one where two characters (generally) of opposite genders, regardless of actual connection to one another, become powerless to resist getting it on after one of them touches the other in an area usually covered by clothes? But well, there's just no going back now, because he basically told her ‘you're not a nuisance’ and we all know that's actually code for ‘why aren't we already naked’. But for real dude, I hope you washed your sheets after last night's romp with bar girl... and don't forget that little talk we had about protection! Safety first!!! (please I can’t handle any more baby drama)

Thankfully the next scene is already 50000000x more enjoyable, and so far all it involves is Jane standing in a doorway. I am very supportive of this, and of literally anything she does. And then ugh she goes and joins Roman on the floor, and he instantly admits that he lied to Kat about being in love with her, and seems dejected at the thought that he might never have really felt anything for her and asks what's wrong with him. Oh, honey. A person without empathy or emotions would never even think to ask those questions in the first place, or be worried about the answers. And Jane, speaking from experience, tells him that feelings can't just appear like memories; they have to develop. And may I just send a big kudos to whichever brilliant person in the sound-editing department put a tiny snippet of the Jeller theme in there at that moment?? Bless you, you subtle geniuses. This conversation also says a lot about her relationship with the team vs her 'relationship' with Oscar (which I still believe was devoid of any feelings other than Jane needing to get comfort from SOMEWHERE while also needing to get info out of Oscar. Two birds, one stone, so they say). But oh man am I so relieved that Roman actually tells her that Remi was the reason he and Kat were separated, because it gives her a chance to show that she's not like Remi-- she doesn't want the same things for him that Remi did, and she is constantly trying to make up for the things that Remi is responsible for. Much like he will have to make up for what Old Roman did. And then ughhhhh she tells him not to stay fixated on who he was, but to try to embrace who he is now-- and ugh it literally seems like she's telling him what she wishes she could go back and tell herself the night she met Oscar. Chasing the past nearly cost her her future, and now that she's getting another chance at it, she's not going to let anything stop her. And ugh she promises to get him out and tells him she really believes he loved Kat and ughhh my babies I love you both so much

Damn, dark-side Borden is still pressing my buttons. I can’t help it! But anyway I’m intrigued by this increasing screen-time for this Parker guy-- who tells Borden he's there to see this country burn, aka just basically regurgitating Sandstorm's tagline-- it makes me wonder if he's actually not all he seems? Maybe he has managed to infiltrate Sandstorm (anyone notice that their name shortens to SS??) in a way Jane wasn't able to, and is secretly working against them. Either way, I'm intrigued to see what his future role will be. I'm also appreciative that he and Borden are filling in the scenes that would otherwise require Shepherd in them. Any ep that I don’t have to look at her face is a good one imo

AaaaaaaahhhhhHHHHH. I'd already seen the spoiler pics before watching this ep; had already been waiting all episode for Jane to show up at Weller's door. But for a moment when he opens it, I’m still struggling to believe it’s really happening. Jeller. Happily hanging out, alone, after work hours. Oh how I have missed this dynamic. But lbr even before we see Jane's face, we know it's her at the door, because his eyes go from surprise to HEARTS HEARTS HEARTS in like 0.00001 of a second lol. And Jane's leaning there, looking all casual, acting like her heart isn't racing and stomach isn't swirling with butterflies over the fact that it's been a long time since they had this kind of interaction and she can't be sure she's allowed to step into this territory (both figurative and literal) again and ugh just think how much guts it would have to take to reach out like this when he'd rejected her or frozen her out so many times since she'd been back?? But lbr she's always been pretty in tune with this thing between then and she can tell, now, that it's different again, that it's back to how it used to be. Or maybe even better than it was then, because there's no 'Taylor' in her that's making the focus of his affections unclear. And of course, the Assistant Director of the Jane Fanclub (the director being me, obviously) would never dream of turning her away, not anymore or ever again, and he's showering her with those heart eyes while she shyly finishes her sentence from their conversation hours ago-- because she's precious and adorable and wants to support him and reassure him ughhhh-- and then ugh in literally one of the bravest acts we've seen her do (and lbr ‘Brave’ is practically Jane's middle name) she brings him his favourite beers-- which she would have OBVIOUSLY have had to go out and buy for THIS VERY SPECIFIC PURPOSE, since it's not like New Yorkers have Pennsylvanian beer just lying around-- and ughhhh this is the best olive branch (slash date-invitation??) ever and oh man I seriously need to know how long she's had those beers and how long she's been wanting to do this and aaaaahhhhh Weller must be like 'thank GOD that foolishness with Nas is over' (I know we are) and ughhh he invites her right in and omg they're finally getting to have those 'drinks' they owed each other (technically didn't he owe her? Like you said last season, you’re racking up the debt, buddy). But aaahhhhh someone save me bc they both look so HAPPY and relaxed but also a little excited and Jane's hearteyes are killing me because legit I have never seen anyone be such a literal manifestation of 'to gaze adoringly'?? I feel like she's been suppressing these heart eyes as best she could during this last two weeks since she got back from Sandstorm-- since Weller realised what a jackass he'd been and started showing her that he really does care about her-- and she just can't hold them back anymore and ugh it's so beautiful. And then ugh my big silly baby totally overplays his 'bullet wounds' (too bad he didn't have his shirt unbuttoned like Reade, eh??) leading to some sweet little flirty banter and ughhhhhh now it's his turn to gaze adoringly as she asks him to give Roman a window or let him go for a walk or something, and lbr if he could, he would do literally anything she asked just because he wants to make her happyyyyyy. I'm so glad our big stupid son finally made it back to this point. And ughhh I am so upset at these two idiots and the way they're smiling at each other all goofily while they drink their dumb beer and then OMG SHE SEES THE FILES THAT SANDSTORM HAS ON WELLER. FINALLY. I think we've literally all been yelling "WHY AREN'T YOU SHOWING THIS SHIT TO JANE?????" ever since he found out about its existence. And then they move over to the table together and she gets adorably excited to see his yearbook thing (this literally feels like looking at your boyfriend's baby photos lol) and within two seconds she has found him. Because of course she has, she's been seeing that face in both her waking life and dreams ever since she came out of the bag (and apparently long before that, in her previous life), so of course she'd know him anywhere. He’s her person. And ugh he jokes that he could have gone pro with ball and she actually giggles and then gazes up at him as he talks about the game, the heart eyes so intense that she's practically glowing with it (you know that fuzzy glow around the sun on really hot days? Yeah, picture that) and then she looks back down at the page and BAM. Shepherd is in the crowd. And Weller REMEMBERS her. And just like that, the connection between these two has given them a HUGE break in their fight against Sandstorm. (Which lbr we all knew was going to happen and was exactly why the writers never had Jane look at this stuff before now.) Also don't even get me started on the fact that he and Jane achieved together in moments what he and Nas hadn't been able to do in weeks. Symbolism, much??????? 

But anyway that's pretty much all the rambling I have for today because all the rest is just incoherent screaming about having my show and beloved characters back lol so see you next time for more Jeller perfection aaaahhhhhh

#Blindspot #Jeller #Blindspot recap #this episode!!!!!! #!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #I am overwhelmed

[virtuosinovel]

Afterword: Revolution Article

The following article appeared in the May, 2030 issue of Revolution Magazine. Dudley wrote the article and sent it to Xavier Pratt as an olive branch, hoping to give the public a deeper look into Virtuosi. A couple weeks later, he hopped the Virtuosi jet to Greenland to start his assignment as Security Chief of the new territory.

 What I Didn’t Find on Christmas Island

By Sid Snodgrass

 First of all, let’s clear the air of false pretensions. Despite what you see in the by-line, this article was not written by Sid Snodgrass. That person doesn’t exist. It was a cover identity that I, former special agent Benjamin Dudley, used to infiltrate Virtuosi and Christmas Island. The cover was created by my former employer, the Freedom Keepers, an off-the-books intelligence and special ops unit of the United States Government. This magazine was forced to corroborate my story based on stolen e-mails used to blackmail the Editor-in-Chief, Xavier Pratt. I would like to take a moment to offer my sincerest apologies to Mr. Pratt. I would also like to apologize to Natalie Chen, who had the unenviable task of being my contact person despite her friendship with many Virtuosi members.

It turned out the blackmail material was a series of e-mails between Mr. Pratt and his psychiatrist revealing Mr. Pratt was suffering from, and seeking help for, bipolar disorder, chronic paranoia, and possible schizophrenia. I’m happy to report now that this information is public, Mr. Pratt continues to both get the help he needs and run this publication. It turns out he underestimated his readership. Business is booming. Evidently, his readers are fine with a paranoid schizophrenic running the show. It makes sense, if you think about the content and reputation of this magazine. Full speed ahead Mr. Pratt.

Now that we have done some housekeeping, let’s move on to my visit to the island. Many of you read the memos my superiors and I exchanged while I was on the island. If you haven’t read them yet, come out from under your rock, get on this new thing called the inter-web, and go to a website. Any site will do. These memos lay out the basics of the situation, but formal correspondence between agent and agency does not an exposé make.

I’m not here to rehash the memos. I’m here to give a more unfiltered version of my time with this remarkable organization. It turns out public opinion is like a battleship; once it gets going in one direction, it’s a very long and gradual process to turn it around. We all now know the Next World/Tea Party scheme was planned from the beginning by the CABAL and their elected co-conspirators. Yet there are still many out there who feel apprehension, fear, or even disdain when the word Virtuosi is uttered. It has been ingrained in us that they are potential enemies and one botched frame job isn’t enough to get them off the hook in the eyes of many. Allow me to take my turn at guiding this ship in a new direction.

 ###

 After coordinating with my office and Revolution headquarters, I hopped a plane to Jakarta and then to Christmas Island. They say you never get a second chance to make a first impression, but even if Virtuosi had a second chance they wouldn’t need to exercise the option. Their Manager of First Impressions, Julian “Dodger” Wells, was just what this weary traveler needed after two days on the go. Dodger is an ex-Chicago gang member and getaway driver who went clean years ago when he went to work for his childhood friend, Victor Freeman. Despite his admittedly checkered past, I have never felt more comfortable with anyone I just met. He was the perfect mix of hospitality, excitement, and knowledge, giving me a couple of island tidbits without totally overwhelming me.

When I arrived at, well, I don’t really know how to describe it. They call it the Hive, so let��s just go with Hive. If I call it their headquarters, their governor’s mansion, their playground, or simply Victor’s house, it would paint an incomplete picture. It is all of these things and more. When I arrived, the Hive House Manager, Winston, was a perfect English gentleman, making me feel at home immediately and throughout my stay.

To the Christmas Island novice, it appears I just recounted my interactions with the chauffeur and the butler of a bunch of rich elitists. Nothing could be further from the truth. They don’t have these fancy titles, Manager of First Impressions and House Manager, in a tongue-in-cheek way, like dishwashers are sometimes called hydro-engineers. They earn these titles and are highly valued for their skill sets and contributions to the group. Winston is a Master Sommelier and an experienced gourmet kitchen manager. Dodger can drive everything from dune buggies to jet skis to ostriches. Yes, ostriches. I saw the trophy he won to prove it.

The next person I met was Victor Freeman. Read the last sentence again and try to put it in perspective. I met Dodger, then Winston, and then the Head of State, which they call the Facilitator. This would not happen anywhere else on Earth. If it sounds ridiculous, it won’t once you understand Victor’s personality. He’s a dreamer of the highest order. Some of his schemes make Willy Wonka’s golden ticket master plan look like something scrawled on the back of a drunkard’s napkin. Einstein couldn’t be bothered to learn how to drive or catch the bus. Victor can’t be bothered with layers of security, a shielding entourage, or a bunch of pomp and circumstance. He was bird-watching in his garden when I met him. The next morning, he was meditating alone in his backyard when I walked out to the deck for our interview. Take everything you think you know about how a national leader should think or act. Got it? Good, throw it out the window. Now we can proceed.

Not only was I given unprecedented access to the leader of a country, but I was given carte blanche to talk to anyone I damned-well pleased while I was there. Victor did not keep me close by, monitoring what I saw or did and trying to sway my opinion. He didn’t assign any babysitters either. I was as free as Mowgli in Jungle Book and indeed could have run through the rain forest naked had I so desired. Now I’m really going to blow your mind. Are you sitting down? He didn’t do this for a journalist. HE ALREADY KNEW I WAS A SPY! AND HE DIDN’T TELL ANYONE ELSE!

Oh, you’re here to spy on me? You work for the country I was chased out of? Okay, as you were.

If that doesn’t prove they have nothing to hide here, I don’t know what does.

Now, maybe you’re thinking Victor must just be the lunatic fringe, front man for Virtuosi. What about everyone else? Let’s move on down the line to the Chief of Staff Megan Myers. Victor might get upset when he reads this, but sorry pal. I call them like I see them. Out of all the people I met, Megan is the most impressive overall. There, I said it.

Seriously, they had a fountain of Minerva in front of the Hive. You could remove Minerva, put up a statue of Megan, and you would have the same amount of courage, wisdom, and beauty emanating through the front yard. This chick is a bad-ass. She manages major projects and operations as easily as if she is rearranging doilies on a coffee table. She counterbalances Victor’s flightiness and then some. And she isn’t afraid to strap on a stun gun and play shockerball with the boys. No big deal for someone who grew up dodging gang crossfire walking to school.

Still not impressed? Secretary of State Greta Mills spreads more global goodwill than the Harlem Globetrotters. Secretary of Defense Wilbur Carson, his wife Eve, and the Hive Protection Network make the Swiss Guard look unorganized and inefficient. The collection of talent in the ExComm (legislative branch) would give the 1927 New York Yankees a fight for the title of “greatest team ever assembled.”

In fact, even the “support” staff I spent time with could be C-suite execs anywhere else. Emily Conrad and Celeste Johnston could guess your death date, within one standard deviation, if you weren’t afraid to ask them for it. Victor’s personal assistant Katalin knew my schedule, as well as every name, phone number, and address I needed, off the top of her head. Oh yeah, she is also training for the Olympics.

What about Victor’s family? His twin nieces, Jordan and Payton, are perfectly normal and well-adapted teenagers, except for the fact they have about a dozen black belts between the two of them. While on my mission, I was given the orders to eliminate Victor. When I tried, the twins descended on me like a pair of honey badgers. They had me poisoned (not fatally thank God) with a knife to my throat before I could say “botched job.” But they only attacked me because I came into their house and threatened their “Shushu.” Until then, they treated me with genuine hospitality. Now I have some work to do to gain some of their trust back.

 ###

 I won’t keep boring you and/or making you jealous. There is a point to all this gushing. These are not America’s rejects who couldn’t hack it in the big leagues so bought their own island with the hopes of one day striking back at their oppressors. They are world class in everything they do and deliberately left, not to cause America harm, but to prove to everyone there’s a better way. They’re even proving it to themselves. Most people here refer to this new society as an experiment. But it is an experiment they are confident will yield the results they expect.

Trust me when I tell you, they are extremely busy for all the right reasons. They’re working on local projects which if successful, will have positive global implications; things like curing world hunger and saving the planet, nothing major. To think Christmas Island would divert their attention, for even a short time, to try to do America or anyone else harm is frankly egotistical on the part of the would-be victim.

So, if you’re one of those people who is still skeptical of Virtuosi, know that I was sent here to uncover ill intention and was unable to do so. As far as I saw, there was none to uncover. They have too much going on right now. In fact, I’ve gotta run. As a new Christmas Island citizen, I have some major pressing projects of my own about to get underway. Stay tuned.

 Yours truly,

Benjamin Dudley

#blook #blog to book #libertarian #libertarianism #spy novel #conspiracy fiction #virtuosi #revolution #book content #afterword

[weekendwarriorblog]

Why Have Movie Theaters Become So Divisive?

I’m probably going to regret writing about this, but someone has to, so it might as well be me. After all, I’ve only been writing about this for months now, and 90% of the people who have attacked me for my opinion on reopening movie theaters probably have only read a few tweets I’ve made without ever reading a single word I’ve written beforehand for any sort of context. 

Most people already know where I stand on this debate, an argument that believe it or not (shocker!) doesn’t have a “right” or “wrong” side to it. You can stand on your high-horse soapbox all you like, but as I’ve said before, movie theaters are no more dangerous than any other public activity when it comes to spreading COVID. 

I’m not going to repeat myself over and over but when you compare movie theaters even to outdoor dining, the former offers many more opportunities to see whether they’re spreading COVID (and how to stop that spread) than sitting around with friends drinking, eating and jawing away in close proximity to others. (NYC has had these outdoor dining areas, many which are barely six feet across, open for months now with no huge spikes so...) The thing is that you know where I stand, so you should know that I’m writing this from an extremely biased place, too? Got it. Good. Let’s go on...

What’s interesting and actually kind of infuriating is how what should be a discussion about getting movie theaters reopened safely -- just as it should be about getting movie and television production restarted so there’ll be content when they do finally reopen -- has turned into this huge argument where there are two clear sides: The people who want the option to go to movie theaters to see movies and the people who not only refuse to go to movie theaters themselves until there’s a vaccine, but they’ll spend their time writing long pieces about why they won’t do their movie-related jobs until that’s the case. (Few of them have the excuse of being “high-risk” themselves, let alone being around “high-risk” relatives.)

By the way, I’m going to put this caveat here because I have probably said it 100 times already and oddly, when I say this, people completely ignore it to focus on anything else I may be saying: NO ONE IS FORCING YOU TO GO TO A MOVIE THEATER. Got it? Just because I or someone else says that people who want to return to movie theaters should be allowed to do so, if you don’t want to go, then DON’T GO. Half of the non-critics complaining about movie theaters rarely were rarely more than once a month to movie theaters pre-COVID. They are outliers. But don’t start railing against me or others for wanting to have the option to make our own decisions. 

Let’s make no mistake. Like everything else in this county, this “debate” is first and foremost a political one. It’s the left vs. the right, the liberals vs. the conservatives, the Democrats vs. the Republicans, and it mostly comes down to a President who is saying to reopen businesses to Democratic Governors saying “Hold on, we have to do this sensibly.” And that last statement actually makes absolute perfect sense, and it’s one I outright agree with, too. Yes, things need to be reopened safely in a way that doesn’t create or elevate the spread of COVID, but why are movie theaters specifically being targeted as the “worst possible scenario” for COVID spread? Especially after I’ve written literally thousands of words stating why that isn’t the case.

The latest development is that Fauci the Fearmonger (as I will be referring to him from now on) was interviewed by actress* Jennifer Garner on Instagram (*I don’t want to demean the profession but Garner, while a lovely person who I’ve met before, is not a doctor or a journalist), and she asked Dr. Fauci about returning to theaters to “see people on stage” and he responded by saying that he doesn’t think that even with a vaccine, people will be safe to return to regular activities until mid-to-late 2021. How does say something like this help ANYTHING? What’s happening is that what Fauci said, which again, is not specifically or directly about movie theaters, is being twisted into something that assholes like Cuomo can now use the next time he’s asked about reopening movie theaters. He’s already made it clear that casinos, gyms and the fucking Mets museum are more important than one of the more popular (and safer!) forms of public entertainment.

But even the support for Dr. Fauci is political because Republicans and even Trump have spoken against him, despite him being the leading and foremost authority on COVID... according to the people who support him. It’s kind of amusing to see how influential Fauci is on the public but he couldn’t convince a number of high-powered officials who he was around every single day the last six months to wear masks, to do something earlier to make sure people knew how serious COVID was? That was his JOB and if you’re going to blame COVID fully on Trump than you also have to blame Fauci because he was complicit and didn’t stand his ground when it came to making sure COVID didn’t kill hundreds of thousands of Americans.

So is this just a matter of a bunch of anti-Trump liberals fighting back against the President? Nope, it’s also a number of people who want to fight back against corporations that are quite desperately trying to reopen. Everyone goes after AMC and Regal and Cinemark and the other big chains for wanting to reopen and you know, not got bankrupt, because they see their desire to reopen theaters as “greed,’ as the big bad corporation trying to capitalize on the poor hard-working moviegoers who are desperate to get out of their house and spend time around other people, even if it’s wearing masks and being six feet apart.... which anyone with half a brain agrees is the best way to put an end to the spread of COVID in a pandemic.

People also have repeated attacked Warner Bros and Christopher Nolan and the movie Tenet itself as the worst offenders of greed... this big powerful white male director flexing his muscles to get his way because he believes in the theatrical experience, and anyone who has backed him on this (including other filmmakers) are similarly attacked. The narrative against returning to movie theaters and sitting at home watching the dozens of streaming networks you subscribe to has been so pervasive so of course, no one is going to want to go back to movie theaters since they’ve been badgered and bludgeoned by the people with a voice who want to make sure people know about “aerosols” and enclosed spaces (even when they tend to have less than 30 people spread out), etc. When Warner Bros. reported the first North American numbers for Tenet and they were lower even than the lowest expectations, the theatrical naysayers were back making their jokes on Twitter and saying, “See? No one wanted to go back to movie theaters, so we were right this whole time!”  (Granted, many people out there may not have even realized that movie theaters were open in their region. I don’t know about you, but I haven’t seen a single movie commercial on television in over six months, other than for movies on streaming services.)

But make no fucking mistake. This whole argument is basically about the haves vs. the have nots. It’s about the people who can afford to own a car and go to a drive-in whenever they please, vs. those who don’t drive and are accustomed to taking public transportation everywhere. It’s about the people who can lounge around at home watching movies on their 70″ (or 80″ if you go by Sam Rockwell’s boasting) television vs. those who can’t afford such luxuries who maybe live in tiny apartments where something like that wouldn’t even be physically possible. It’s about the people who can afford to pay $100+ a month for every streaming service and all the new and old movies they may ever need to watch vs. the people who work hard all week to shell out $15-20 for a ticket to the latest blockbuster in theaters. But more importantly, it’s about the people who literally are delivered every movie they might watch for FREE via digital screeners they can watch at home whenever they want without having to go out in public and be around other people (which I will freely admit, I am one of them!) vs. those who have to pay to see movies and who don’t have some of those other options (which oddly, I am ALSO one!)  

So you can see why I might feel a little torn about this debate and how I’ve landed right in the center of it, because I’ve chosen not to shut up and be bullied by the vocal minority on #FIlmTwitter who think they know better than everyone else (and not just on COVID or the reopening of movie theaters either.)  I’ve decided that I have gone to enough movies and movie theaters over the past 20 years that I consider myself an expert on the pluses and minuses of being allowed to have that experience. I’m not one of those people who never goes to the movie theaters anymore because of “texting” and “talking” and “lazy underpaid teenager workers who don’t care enough to do their jobs properly.” That last complaint is what has really gotten me riled because it is literally one of the most elitist statements in this argument I’ve heard about why movie theaters can’t reopen safely. They attack the corporations for forcing their employees (who probably need those jobs and money) back to work in a “dangerous environment” even after being told REPEATEDLY all of the safety precautions being taken over and over and over. 

The next time someone interviews Fearmonger Fauci, they should ask him when was the last time he went to the movies pre-COVID. For all we know, he is such a germaphobe by nature that he wasn’t a fan of being places like movie theaters for LONG before COVID showed up. I’m willing to bet that he has no concept of the benefits of the theatrical movie experience for those that still believe in it. Due to a few casual comments about a possible vaccine, politicians like Cuomo now have even more ammo about keeping movie theaters closed. Who knows why Cuomo is so hesitant because the only time Cuomo was asked, he was so flippant and dismissive of the idea, that maybe there’s more going on. Maybe he feels that places like AMC or Regal don’t pay their fair share of New York State taxes for some reason, and doesn’t see them as an important part of the New York economy despite the hundreds of millions of dollars sold in movie tickets in New York pre-COVID. Who knows? There’s more going on there than anyone is willing to admit, and until I’m allowed into one of those press conferences to grill him about it, we may never know. All I know is that if you want to know what the PUBLIC, what real people, think of what’s going on. Follow one of Cuomo’s press conferences on Facebook and read some of the comments. People are outright ANGRY with him right now.

Listen, this argument isn’t going away. I’ve already lost friends over this and lost  respect for a number of people who I cherish having in my life. Losing some of these friends hurts more than others, but the point is that no one seems to be able to even TRY to agree or see another point of view besides their own. You want peace in the Middle East? Bullshit. We need peace right here in America, and it isn’t the alt-right racist pro-life conservatives who are all at fault here. It’s just as much the people (on both sides) who refuse to listen to anyone who has any opinion ... or religious or political beliefs, for that matter ...  than themselves. If you’re not willing to listen (or in my case READ) what others are saying, then don’t come back to me with “Oh, but the aerosols!” or anything else you’ve read in the papers that to be honest, I have read, too. I read a lot, believe it or not.

But I also know that this argument doesn’t have a right or wrong. Your desire to do something that you love doing, whether it’s going to the gym or going out to eat or gambling at a casino or riding the NYC subway system “just for fun” and yes, going to see movies in theaters in a better setting/environment than sitting on your futon watching on your 13″ laptop... that is or at least it should be one of your rights as a human and as an American. Someone who has a car or a 70″ television that allows them to watch with their families (another thing some of us don’t have) shouldn’t be making your decisions for you, and in some cases, bullying you or shaming you for disagreeing with them.

Like I said, this was always going to be a biased piece, but after being attacked repeatedly by people who don’t know me, and don’t know where Im coming from, and worst of all: NEVER READ A WORD I’VE WRITTEN BEFORE RESPONDING TO A SINGLE TWEET I MAKE, forced me once again to put “pen to paper” and address the situation. Hopefully, someone reading this will think, “Hey, you know what? This is a stupid argument. Why am I getting so riled up by someone saying they want to go to movie theaters if they feel safe? Why am I railing against an industry that has allowed me and my family to live comfortably under a roof and allowed me to buy this car and large-screen television?” But that won’t happen. Because the people who need to read this, won’t read this, just like everything else I write. They’ll just wait for me to make a short statement on Twitter and then retweet it with whatever context makes them feel better about themselves and/or makes others think worse of the person having an opinion and standing up for their rights to express it i.e. me.

Because that’s what it comes down to. Unlike that frivolous lawsuit against New Jersey to reopen movie theaters (which it actually has now), this argument is about the First Amendment, and it’s also about people who have been paid way too much money for way too long to be deemed “movie experts” who thinks that makes them experts on anything and everything else.

Look, I have a lot to say on this subject. If I’m ever allowed to be around people again, I’ll gladly have a conversation about it, but I don’t even have that option. I have seen exactly ONE person from the film-writing/entertainment community in the last six months... and I had to take a train out to Connecticut to do so.  If screening rooms were allowed to reopen, I’d gladly have this discussion with anyone who can break themselves away from their HDTV at home to actually go out to see a movie that’s projected on a screen, as they should be. Believe it or not, I’m always open for intelligent discussion, but only when it doesn’t involve outright attacks on me, my opinion and where I stand on a subject that I’m quite passionate about... and mostly by people who are too lazy or indifferent to read a word I have to say about movies at any other time of the year with or without a pandemic.

#MovieTheaters

[mrsteveecook]

employee is pushing for a job she’s not qualified for, my boss sent me a job posting from another organization, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My employee won’t stop pushing for a job she’s not qualified for

My boss, who oversees the entire division, is hiring for an opening on another team. “Elizabeth,” an employee I manage, wants the job. She has no experience and doesn’t have the education or certification required for it. If she were given the job it would be like hiring a person who never went to law school, never passed the bar exam, and never set foot in a law firm to be a lawyer. My boss is looking externally since no one who works here is qualified. The job wasn’t posted internally but Elizabeth still applied for it and she also emailed her resume and cover letter to my boss and HR. She was immediately rejected since she isn’t qualified. HR explained why she wouldn’t be considered for the job. She emailed HR telling them she disagreed with them and she has emailed my boss asking him to reconsider. She thinks showing initiative and being a quick learner is enough when it isn’t. Besides an internship when she was in university, this is her first job.

I’ve tried explaining to Elizabeth why she can’t have the job but she still wants it. My boss is getting fed up with her badgering him and he wants me to make her stop it. I don’t know how since she won’t listen to anyone who says she can’t have the job. It may seem obvious but I am out of ideas.

“I know HR explained to you that you don’t meet the minimum qualifications for this job. Bob is on board with that decision as well. That’s not a decision that’s going to change. You’ve continued to raise this despite that explanation, and it’s becoming a distraction from our work. You can’t continue to approach Bob or anyone else about this, and I need to know you understand that.”

If she pushes back, say this: “Continuing to push after you’ve been told this isn’t a possibility is raising pretty serious concerns about your judgment. This isn’t something we can continue to spend time on. If I hear that you’ve continue to approach people about the job after this conversation, I’ll consider that a pretty serious problem.”

Also, how’s her work and her judgment aside from this? This behavior is weird enough that I suspect this isn’t the only sign of trouble with her, and you might need to take on any other issues with her more head-on as well.

2. My boss sent me a job posting at another organization

I’ve been working at an arts organization for 4.5 years straight out of college. The workplace is somewhat dysfunctional, but we’re fundamentally a small family. Yesterday my boss asked if I would be interested in what is essentially a dream position at a much larger and well-known arts organization, and of course I said yes.

She said it was in no way an indication that she wanted me to leave, but I’m not so sure. I have doubts that I would even be the most qualified person for the job, so if I don’t get it, I’m worried that I would need to find a new place to work anyway. Additionally, the person my boss sent my CV to is her friend, so in the event I do get the job, I wonder if there would be any issues negotiating salary, etc. since she can easily ask my current boss about what I’m making here. I know it’s bad practice to look a gift horse in the mouth, but I can’t help but feel like I should have declined. Is this a common practice? How do people deal with this sort of thing?

The more I think about it, the more I wonder if it’s a nice way of telling me she wants to fire me. When I sent her my CV, she responded with some tips on how to make it better for the future. I know that it could genuinely be her looking out for me, but it seems really weird! Am I crazy for being so sketched out?!

This isn’t that weird!

It’s possible that it’s your boss trying to push you out, but that’s pretty unlikely. It sounds like she’s just looking out for you — she learned about an opening that she thought might interest you and she told you about it. Some managers do that, and it doesn’t mean they’re trying to get rid of you; it just means they’re not territorial about you, and that’s a good thing.

There’s no reason to think you’d need to find another job if you don’t get this one; you can just tell her that it didn’t work out, but you’re okay with it because you’re happy where you are. She’s not going to assume you were actively seeking to leave, because she knows that’s not how this came about.

As for negotiating salary, it’s possible that the new employer could get info on your current pay from your manager, but you shouldn’t let that freak you out. It might not happen, and regardless, you can negotiate based on the market rate for the new job, not what you’re getting at the old one.

3. Is it normal to advertise for a replacement before someone knows they’re being fired?

I have a question about the act of firing someone. I am a copywriter for a small agency and there is a trend in my office that disturbs me. My boss has repeatedly put up hiring ads to replace my coworkers without telling them that he’s planning on firing them or giving any warning. Thrice my coworkers have found the job postings online and were horrified and devastated to realize they were being replaced. Every time I believed my colleagues were hard working and of good character, and were being blamed for other flaws in the business.

I find this extremely heartless and sneaky. However, this is my first job out of college so I’m not sure what’s “normal.” Is my boss a snake? Or is it normal to quietly try to replace your employees while they’re still working for you? I find it weird that he tries to overlap so that there’s no time with someone empty in my coworker’s seat. I feel on edge like I could be next any minute, that if I googled the company name I’ll find an ad for a copywriter job. Am I overreacting, or is this business?

You’re not overreacting. This is a underhanded way of going about replacing people, and it’s not the norm. It’s unfair to the people being fired, and it’s generally going to seem shady to the people applying once they realize the entire interview process has to be kept under wraps. It’s an excellent way to destroy trust with his other employees too, since they’ll see this happening and realize that it could happen to them at some point.

And it’s even worse if your boss is gearing up to fire people without having had straightforward conversations with them about his concerns about their work, and without conveying to them the seriousness of the problems and what they needed to do to improve. It’s possible that he does have those conversations since you wouldn’t necessarily know if he did, but I’m inclined to think that he doesn’t, based on the rest of this and the fact that he seems overall quite cowardly.

4. Our coffee system is stressing me out

I work in a small office of between 10-15 people, and somebody is always getting Starbucks, or ordering lunch, etc. It’s been the custom to ask around the office if anyone else would like a drink or food, even if that means the asker is collecting eight or more coffees at Starbucks and bringing them back for distribution. Most people offer to go and collect food as often as they ask someone else to grab something for them, so it’s a fair system. Sometimes we order delivery using an app — free to download and easy to use, and no one has to leave the office and struggle back with a bunch of orders.

Here’s the issue: it’s getting out of control. When I pick up a coffee for myself before work, there’s semi-joking, semi-serious talk of “Where’s my coffee?” as though I’m selfish for getting coffee just for myself. If I run to the corner store for a soda, I hear cries of “Why didn’t you ask me what I wanted?”

Additionally, there’s one woman in the office who doesn’t have a driver’s license or a car, so she can’t offer to pick anything up, but she is always eager to have people get her something when they go and never offers to help collect the drinks/food. She often goes office to office asking what people are doing for lunch, and immediately asking them to bring her something if they say they’re going out.

Today she came to my office asking if/where I was going for lunch. I replied that I was going out to grab something, and she “put in her order” as expected. I offered for her to come with me and order her own food; she said that she couldn’t afford the time away from her desk. That’s fine — I was going anyway and I know she’s busy. She leaves my office … and returns shortly with other orders from other people. She had asked several other coworkers if they wanted anything, although she had no intention of coming with me and hadn’t asked me if I was willing to order for the office.

Am I being oversensitive? I hate being volunteered for things without being asked; I already know that it’s a sore spot for me. I don’t want to be rude, but it seems like some people feel increasingly entitled to delivery service. Is there a nice way to say “I’m going to grab lunch, and I’m not taking orders”?

I don’t think you’re being oversensitive, but it also sounds like this is just the culture of your office. It sounds like the chore is more or less being shared, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with having this sysetm; it just doesn’t work well for you. so that part of it is fair. (The exception is your non-recriprocating coworker, who we’ll get to in a minute.)

In response to the “why didn’t you get me anything?” chorus, you can just say, “Sorry! I was in a hurry!” or “My hands were pretty full.” Don’t treat it like it’s a big deal or a serious complaint. That will probably go over fine.

But unlike everyone else, your non-recriprocating coworker isn’t putting in her share of labor, so I’d handle her differently. When she tries to give you a lunch order without you offering, it’s fine to say, “Oh, I can’t bring anything back today.” You don’t need to give an explanation for that, but if you want to, you can say, “I’ve got to do some other errands afterwards” or “I need to get back ASAP” or “I’ve already got more orders than I can easily juggle.” You could also pointedly add, “But you can come with me and help me carry things if you want.”

And at some point, you should try, “Hey, could you be the one who goes today? I’ve been getting it a lot and I think it’s your turn.” (That won’t work if she’s senior to you, but if she’s not, have at it.)

5. How much editing should I do?

I’ve recently started a six-month rotation at a new office as part of a fellowship program I am in. The job is mainly data analysis and visualization, and my coworkers are mainly people who focus on data analysis and web development. I like the job and my coworkers, and am looking forward to this six month stint. I might even try to turn it into a permanent position, though that is not my main goal at the time.

One of the first tasks I’ve been given is to do a final edit on a report that we will be publishing soon. The instructions were to do a thorough proofread for grammar, typos, spelling, make sure all the numbers match the results, and check language and tone consistency. I’m doing this, and making edits based on those instructions. However, the writing style is one that I find quite poor. I have a lot of writing experience — I have an PhD in a social science field, and my previous jobs included writing long reports. My writing style has been complimented by all of my previous supervisors, and my most recent supervisor turned to me for all writing-related questions. But my writing skills are not what I was hired for in this job, and I don’t know how much style editing I should do. Even if I simply limited the edits to fixing places where the style made the substance less clear, it would be a lot of changes. I don’t want to start out this job by being the person who tells her colleagues their writing style is poor.

Should I just stick to proofreading and basic editing, or should I also suggest edits to style?

You should ask! Some people will welcome style edits and some people won’t. But it’s a reasonable question to pose to whoever assigned you the work. You could also do style edits on one or two pages and use that as an example of what you’re asking about, saying something like, “I made some suggestions on these pages, but didn’t want to do it throughout before I knew if you’d want those sorts of edits as well.” That’s particularly helpful because it can be hard for someone to say “yes, do more editing” without first seeing if they like the types of edits you’d be making.

But if for some reason you can’t ask — if the person is unavailable all week or something like that — then stick to just the literal instructions you were given and skip the style editing. In that case, it’s better to err on the side of just following the instructions rather than do something they might not want.

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employee is pushing for a job she’s not qualified for, my boss sent me a job posting from another organization, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

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