#feelings about race and identity

[contemplatingoutlander]

Our true feelings about race and identity are revealed in six words

This is a poignant article about a project that Michele Norris started that tapped into people's thoughts about race in a profound way--using only six words. This is a gift🎁link, so anyone can read the full interactive article, even if they don't subscribe to The Washington Post. Below are some excerpts from the article:

I have always cringed when the accusations fly about someone allegedly “playing the race card.” It’s usually a proxy for “You’re making me uncomfortable, so please stop talking.” Or a diversionary tactic used to avoid having to speak about race with any kind of precision or specificity. A shorthand for “Just shut up.” And so, in 2010, I flipped the script, turning that accusatory phrase into a prompt to spark conversation. I printed 200 black postcards at my local FedEx Kinko’s on upper Wisconsin Avenue asking people to condense their thoughts on race or cultural identity into one sentence of six words. The front of the cards simply read:

Race. Your thoughts. 6 words. Please send.

I left the cards everywhere I traveled: in bookstores, in restaurants, at the information kiosks in airports, on the writing desks at all my hotels. Sometimes I snuck them inside airline in-flight magazines or left them at the sugar station at Starbucks. I hoped a few of those postcards would come back, thinking it would be worth the trouble if even a dozen people responded. Much to my surprise, strangers who stumbled on the cards would follow the instructions and use postage stamps to mail their six-word stories back to me in D.C. Since my parents were both postal workers, this gave me an extra thrill. Here I was, doing my part to support the Postal Service. Who says snail mail is dead? Half a dozen cards arrived within a week, then 12, then 20. Over time, that trickle became a tide. I have received more than 500,000 of these stories — and more arrive every day, though the vast majority of submissions now arrive through a website portal online. They have come from all 50 states and more than 100 countries. Though limited to six words, the stories are often shocking in their candor and intimacy. They reveal fear, disappointment, regret and resentment. Some are kissed by grace or triumph. A surprising number arrive in the form of a question, which suggests that many people hunger not just for answers but for permission to speak their truths. It was amazing what people could pack into such a small package:

Reason I ended a sweet relationship

Too Black for Black men’s love

Urban living has made me racist

Took 21 years to be Latina

Was considered White until after 9/11

Gay, but at least I’m White

I’m only Asian when it’s convenient

To keep the conversation going, I created a complementary website for the Race Card Project, where people could submit their six-word stories online. Over time we added two words to the submission form: “Anything else?” That changed everything. People sent in poems, essays, memos and historical documents to explain why they chose their six words. The archive came alive. It became an international forum where people could share their own stories but also learn much about life, as if it were lived by someone else.

I highly recommend reading the entire article, using the above gift link. As an olive-skinned Italian American, with curly hair, I have often felt like I am a walking Rorschach test for race. Even though I'm classified as "white" in the U.S., I've had people ask me if I'm a Latina, a Native American, Black, Egyptian, Jewish, and even a South Pacific Islander. Given my history, here are my six words on race.

A book is not it's cover.

I welcome people adding to this post their own 6 words on race.

#race #six words #feelings about race and identity #martin luther king day #michele norris #the washington post #gift link

[scholar-of-yemdresh]

No audio fiction podcast has it all;

Produced by and starring POC

Has Aroace/non sam Ace/non sam aro MCs

Has trans MCs(trans man trans woman, nonbinary/gendeequeer idc)

Has little to no romance and focus on platonic or hostile non-romantic relationships

It's sci-fi or fantasy, with horror elements(especially body & cosmic horror)

Not too long (like i can't deal with 100+ 2hr+ episodes lol)

This post is brought to you by my love for the The Silt Verses. Which is damn near perfect for me, such a shame the lack of POC(there's to my knowledge only one MC voiced by a POC yet the fandom overwhelming interprets his character as white while HC a character voiced by a white woman as black :/)

#audio fiction #audio drama #podcasts #would very much like the trans character(s) & aroace character(s) to be the same person/people #the silt verses #I'm a poc(black spefically) ace trans/Neutrios and it sucks not really seeing my whole identity represnted anywhere #if a character is ace they'll most likely a white cis woman #if they're a poc they'll be cis #if they're trans their allo #feels bad man :( #also a major reason i can't get into those actual play podcast is that THEY ARE TOO DAMN LONG lmao #like one season would be a combined total of 70 hours i can't do that bruh #my ideal fiction podcast length is about 30-50 episodes with each being about 40 minutes long #don't get me wrong i love black Paige but er yall know Hayward is voiced by a Japanese man? #yes VA race and character race don't always line up but like come on know

[silver-queen]

gripping my knees. i forgot how intricately woven pmd explorer's story is. and for a game that uses such simple languages

#monologuing #the foreshadowing is so subtleee but it hints at everything about the twist #i like how despite finally learning about their identity. despite all their wistful feelings about their past. #the protagonist doesn't recover their attachment to (SPOILERS) #also the game assumes i have the memory of a goldfish lol. which is true #"why does my heart race when i saw the time gear?' 'something about that voice is bothering me' #'did dusknoir just hide the faintest of smiles?' biting something

[exhausted-archivist]

On the topic of the inherent racism in the Qun and its people, with how baked in racism is, you can't buff it out and reformat. You can't remove it, and BioWare has only been doubling down on it up to Tevinter Nights in 2020. Which means you need to be careful with how you interact and build on it. At least that is how I approach it, in general I don't like to engage with it because it's just so difficult and not in any thought provoking or insightful way. So I refrain from doing so as much as possible in public spaces anyways, because it is so inherently unsafe for me to do so. From an interaction with fandom level, but also on a personal level because some of it makes me want to crawl out of my skin.

I am extremely weary of how da4 is going to portray them, I hope it will be better since the writing team has been moved around and there have been some acknowledgements on poor writing of stereotypes and biases in 2020. Which I take with a salt mine worth of salt, especially with the way the new comics like the Missing having lingering themes and stereotypes remaining. How Patrick Weekes described the rebelling antaam in Three Trees to Midnight (Tevinter Nights 2020) was the biggest red flag, followed by the yellow flag from As We Fly short story by Lukas Kristjanson (short story 2023).

With how BioWare has racism and harmful elements baked into the Qun and people in general it is going to difficult for them to fully separate it, update it, or reformat it. But I hope they do. I hope that they actually attempt to make it better like they have suggested they would. Because it is so harmful and they should. I don't think they'll get it right on the first try, but I hope they try. It won't magically fix the racism in the fandom but I would like to not feel the need to crawl out of my skin when playing a vashoth. I would like to see the franchise grow and become better than it started out as. I don't want it to stay stagnant for the sake of "consistency" which it doesn't have by design.

#archi yelling into the void #fandom critical #bioware critical #This is a little out of the norm but genuinely that post about the cow ears rattled me #And the tags in there weren't much better at times. Some of you really say some things with your whole chest #I don't play as a vashoth in Inquisition for too long because it is inherently more hostile than any other inquisitor #you're regularly called a slur. there is no care to your preferred terminology or identity. #Not even Bull who makes it abundantly clear how important terminology is with identity is even consistent with it #You're literally called all three terms we have for the horned people at some point. Qunari/tal-vashoth/vashoth. #The codex for adaar calls you vashoth. Most NPCs call you qunari or a slur. Bull calls you both Qunari and tal-vashoth. #even though he makes the distinction between the two in a conversation with Adaar going as far as to tell them they AREN'T Qunari. #Genuinely kicks up some intense feelings with how shitty BioWare portrays the Qun and those horned people in general. #Both in stereotypes and in how they don't care about the lore. BioWare isn't known for consistency or even reliable narratives #But every other race and group gets the respect of preferred terminology. They get the time to correct you ex) Dorian being called magister #But BioWare doesn't care to enforce or even let the player enforce the difference between qunari/tal-vashoth/vashoth. #Like I said I have feelings about this. Because it feels like it extends past the unreliable narrator or character bias/ignorance/racism

[shoezuki]

one thing that has stuck with me from the latest kerfuffle i got into on twitter is like. there was one person arguin w one the homies that my bio stating i was white isnt accurate because white people cant be people of colour or a poc so putting 'white' in my bio was the reason people wouldnt acknoweldge Im mixed. and like. that shit has stuck w me

cuz to me that seems fucked up towards mixed ppl like me who have that white background mixed with some non-white identity. but thinking about it i can ABSOLUTELY understand the idea of it due to the notion that white people cannot be poc. cuz that sentence in itself is SENSIBLE. like oh Obviously white people cannot be in the non-white community, so therefore mixed people 'cannot' identify as white????

but i keep thinking about it cuz. wow that shit really pointed out an issue that is so obviously present when it comes to recognizing and acknowledging mixed people like me. Because regardless of how much of a Person Of Colour i am or how much aboriginal background i got, i look very white. I have possibly more typically white experiences than typically aboriginal ones. I have blue eyes as when i was a kid I had naturally blonde hair and there was the joke that i was the whitest in my family because of it. which despite the joke is pretty damn true. people dont see me on the street and say oh thats an indigenous person, and the extremely rare times someone sees me as non-white its usually another indigenous person yknow.

I think its like. its kinda led to this revelation of mine i suppose. On one hand i've come to terms with the idea that i am Aboriginal AND white in the sense that i cant just pick either or as both aspects of me have influenced my entire existence as a mixed person. but its really hit home on why i've struggled so much with seeing myself as being in the non-white community or recognizing myself as a person of colour. because the only 'requirement' of being a poc is Not being white. but does that instantly eliminate all mixed white and non-white people like me from being anything other than white? does that not just further the notion that mixed ppl have to just 'pick a side'? Wouldnt decrying my white identity to be a poc then just diminish my own experiences with white privilege and passing as white?

#ask to tag #idk i think its like. when it comes to racial groups and racialized peoples it tends to seem more #black and white (lmao) #in the sense that ethnicity and race isnt something changeable therefore it is treated as more concrete aspects of identity #rather than the fluidity of gender or sexuality when it comes to identity #but in actuality. its really not so easy with race either #like the lines between races and even between that of being white and being non-white isnt so clear #like ive spent years feeling guilt for my identity. as a kid i tried to get rid of my indigenous identity #and somewhat more recently i felt guilty for being white #and its only recently ive resolved that i can be both #but i hadnt explicitly thought about how much of an outlier that makes me #but honestly with mixed white poc i feel its worse to try and limit or get rid of the white aspects of us #like we cannot ignore how it has benefited us or how our general ease as being seen as white has made our lives easier #like i always think of a friend i had in highschool who was also native #but she had the more traditional features of darker skin and black or dark hair unlike me #and we bonded a lot over our aboriginal identity #but the fact she experienced more blatant descrimination than me was a constant factor in our relationship #like it is not something us white poc should not ignore! our expiriences with both privilege and descrimination is unique and unavoidable #i feel the idea of you cannot be white and a poc really tries to bury the privilege of that though. and thus the varied experiences #idk man i been thinkin bout it a lot #like maybe the inclusion of white people who are mixed should be noted in non-white circles more. because of this weird #inbetween we have

[frnkieroismydaddy]

Can't stop thinking about him (Pete Wentz's natural hair)

#i understand why he dyes and bleaches and straightens his hair #it makes sense #and i respect his choices #but GOD #his natural hair is everything #it's beautiful #for actual years I had no idea Pete Wentz was Black #like I didn't realize until I had been listening to Fall Out Boy for a few years #and i saw the fifth picture i think? #and I was like #yo holy shit #he's not a tanned white guy #Pete Wentz is a Black man #and I had no idea #and it makes me sad and angry that Pete feels the need to change his hair to fit in with a society and a scene that doesn't accept #his race and his hair and his identity #he should be able to do whatever he wants with his hair #i went off a little bit #sorry #i have a lot of feelings about this #you're amazing pete #the people who matter love you #and I'm sorry that anyone ever made you feel like that isn't true #rant in the tags

[devilfruitdyke]

on my soapbox again but. not every opinion should be an identity because then every dislike turns into oppression

#hi weirdgirlfag if you see this we're going through it #anyway i was in the t.ransid tag because someone asked them about it and hm .. #rapid fire take time #if you identify with wanting to have trauma yr probably traumatized #if you identify with having ocd (for example) you probably have obsessions/compulsions but feel like you need a label for validity #if you identify with being a different race yr a weeb who should log off and realize you can actually appreciate cultures. #rather than literally being born there #if you identify with a different age you probably wish you were less constrained by weird ideas of maturity #and most importantly. you need to consider yrself as religious/spiritual for believing in past lives and dimension shifting #those are metaphysical beliefs and you shouldnt be swayed into believing some cult tiktoker while able to maintain yr atheist identity #..when you look in the mirror. #theres not even anything bad about having those as spiritual beliefs i just dont want people with preexisting beliefs on religion #to be talked into increasingly more controlling shit #ps. t.rans-opinion doesnt have to be a thing because opinions are different than rigid social constructs. you can just lie.

[wachi-delectrico]

Spent all of yesterday studying on the problem of Nationality and the creation of a National Identity and ngl I haven't stopped thinking and trying to figure out how yankee's modern idea of nationality came to be, specifically thinking of white American people who say they're of a nationality based on "ancestry" with no personal cultural ties to it

#rambling #Not meaning to swing at the hornet's nest lol #But i think as a latinamerican guy in latinoamérica i think i can say with confidence this is something none of us understand about the USA #I think it's probably at least partially influenced by nazi ideas of nationality which evoked Nations as biologically inherent #And all nations having one singular race and language which bound them together from birth and gave them the right to their own land #somewhere along the way this also morphed into white americans claiming to be of national identities they have little to no contact with #based on their bloodlines and family history #it could be the american State's inability to create a national identity that matches the historical characteristics of its territory #Trying to build a national identity around nazi-like ideas of a white christian ethnostate in a place where the cultural diversity does not #allow such a plan to ever come into fruition unless they were to take on totalitarist strategies #Coupled with thw USA's history of slavery and open discrimination against non-white peoples creating the phenomenon of white guilt #So white people who dont agree with the ethnocentric facets of their national identity feel the need to ''flee'' their race and nationality #But since their construct of nationality is blood-based to say it in a way the only escape they can think of is escaping to a reality based #on a past and present they have never experienced themselves in hopes to be ''absolved'' of blame and freed of guilt #... But that's my guess lol #Also again specifically talking about white USA people with no or only tangential ties to the identity they claim

[fruitsofhell]

Random observation while listening to the FF9 OST. The track Eternal Harvest that plays over that scene of Freya joining the Cleyrans in their protection ritual is absolutely gorgeous, but I wish my memory of it wasn’t that awkwardly mocap-ed scene and was a cinematic instead. It had the potential to be a lot more powerful if given the weightiness of a cinematic, and ofc is Freya had been more fleshed out instead of having her arc come to a dead stop in the middle of the 3rd disc.

Freya and Garnet are both great conduits to explore the devastation that Kuja left in his wake on a personal level. But while Garnet is through the eyes of a young woman struggling as a leader against such incredible odds, Freya had the potential to be a great exploration of the more personal and cultural aspect of that destruction. Her people are already appeared to be a somewhat disliked minority, which is what made them an easy first target for Brahne compared to her in-laws in Lindblum. And unlike Alexandria and Lindblum where despite their state, it’s implied that the kingdoms are still fit to rebuild, the Burmecians are really fucked over. Their country was the first to be attacked and therefore didn’t have time to prepare, and then the other Burmecian state of Cleyra where most of the refugees fled to was DISINTEGRATED.

Like Freya might be the character with the most baggage to explore. After witnessing the ruins of Burmecia she comes to this ancient bastion of her people, and despite not fully respecting their distinct way of life, she partakes in their ritual, hoping it will be able to protect the last of them. And then not even an hour later, right from under her that citadel is literally wiped off the face of the earth. It’s haunting to think about, and I deeply wish it could have been explored beyond just a bit of her grieving before launching into more shenanigans.

Not that her being forced to so quickly move on isn’t powerful in itself, but I wish there was more EMPHASIS. Emphasis that could have come from a beautifully directed cinematic of that ritual she performed in vain. Able to visually represent that fragile, majestic hope the track accompanying it conveys.

#final fantasy IX #ff9 #freya crescent #shut the heck up #tag talking #me when i listen to a song from a game and get blindsided by how much i love it #despite its flaws #besides a few core characters there are so many poorly executed arcs :(( #atleast i have the best character ever written (kuja) and those 3 people who really really hate him #actually i love every villain in ff9 #and zizou garnet and vivi are just really good at supporting them #the rest of the cast......... #well no i love eiko too but i also remember feeling like she could have done more #i just love her relatinoship with garnet its so sweet #see if garnet and eiko can have arcs about exploring their identity/race why couldnt freya? #shit even zidane and vivi get that ghdkfgjsdkfs #i want to talk about freyas ethnic pain

[erela-tsisdu]

Rant about family's antisemitism now out of the way, there is something I've been thinking about.

I traced my Sephardic ancestry through my dad's side, and that's what I've been connecting to. However, my grandma had, around that same time, found very distant Ashkenazi ancestry on her side.

It has really made me wonder... Is that something I'd be able to claim & connect to? I've been slowly learning more & more about my Sephardic roots for the last few years because I want to learn more about the culture. I have no idea how far back the Ashkenazic ancestry is on grandma's side. I'd feel real uncomfortable & out of line if it's not something I can claim.

I do find I use Yiddish slang. I don't even think. It just comes to me. My congregation has people of all backgrounds attending, but there is more emphasis on Ashkenazic culture.

Is this a result of me subconsciously wanting to connect with that distant ancestry? Is it a result of Ashkenormativity in the Jewish community? I don't know. It's hard for me to tell.

I already struggle with my racial & ethnic identities a lot because I'm mixed race. I thought I only was Aniyunwiya on both sides of my family because I grew up knowing this. That is, until mom told me within the last couple of years that my dad is also Chahta. There's a lot to learn.

And now this.

The struggles I've gone through in regards to my Indigenous identity has been ongoing since I was a kid. I'm having to reconnect on my own because I don't talk to my dad anymore (for a variety of reasons) & my mom... Hasn't exactly been the best person to go to about this. She's not been too supportive of my decision to reconnect.

I'm rambling quite a bit now, aren't I?

I've definitely had many years to think about this & many years to go sifting through this.

#eira rambles #judaism #jewish #jumblr #native tumblr #ndn tumblr #indigenous #ndn #mixed race #Honestly all of this could apply to several other aspects of my identity as well #like being an abinary genderfluid/genderqueer enby #There's a lot of boxes I don't neatly fit into #which has left me with having many complicated feelings #I'm real glad I have other mixed race folks in my circle I can talk to about this #because they feel similar about their identities #and understand the struggles that come with it #Anyways #I do plan on talking to my rabbis about this #but I also wanted to get this out here.

[maslows-pyramid-scheme]

since u dont support the whole axis of oppression framework how do u think we should talk about oppression and discrimination? ive never really heard any other ideas besides the axis of oppression framework and tbh, i think ur the first person ive ever seen that doesnt go with it.

I'm struggling to put my thoughts into words for this one. I guess I more critical of the idea that there's a one-size-fits-all approach to understanding discrimination than anything - we're not a collection of our individual and sometimes arguably irrelevant social identities (axis), but our social identities are not completely irrelevant to our lived experiences either (Marxist).

Here's the Axes of Privilege, Domination, and Oppression for anybody wondering btw -

#that's why i hate the axis of oppression; it's so... ridiculously simplistic #i think wealth + treatment under the law are the only two relevant categories #i have some other thoughts that i'd like to talk to someone about but i feel like i'd get eviscerated by radblr (no they're not about race) #anon #(i think there are only 4 relevant social identities ((and i think there are four because these things exist in law and in wealth))

[amatres]

any time im given free range to make a dragon age oc i beam them with mixed race dysphoria

#ama mumbles #evie trevelyan (oc) #the only one of my main three that is mixed is evie #surana is full elven and allyn is full human. but the inquisitor has nothing to them so they're free for the taking #what if you were born mixed raced and denied any connection to either of your parent's worlds because you were carted away #to be an eternal prisoner to a religious institution that wants you dead for being born even before the magic came in #and then they make you a holy figure but strip you of any of your actual identity and demand you continue to be #a prop for the religious institution that ripped you away from ever feeling like you belonged to begin with #and then when you get a chance to connect with your father's and your own people's lost history #it results in you just being put into someone else control. what then. what do you do then. id start biting ppl myself #anyway i'll stop talking about evie now thats most of what i have for her #yes i ignore the 'elf blooded kids look fully human' stuff it's lame

[starlooove]

Anyways I was gonna do every screenshot and a response to each one but I should’ve taken my own advice and not gotten involved in white people shit in the first place so I’m just gonna put my general opinion on it;

I don’t care! tbh I think a lot of the exclusion convo in the queer community centers the white western view of queer. Like i think people are too multifaceted and complicated for y’all to be doing this much and it shows in the way y’all speak about slur usage in general. I had a convoluted ass convo in DMs about it and I’ll admit it was mainly bc I was trying to cater to the person i was talking to and use black specific concepts in a general way. Trifling 💀

Which brings me back to, the way white people view community makes my ass itch and again I should’ve listened to myself when I said stay out of it! It was very funny to see them assume community means political space and and that black kids have the privilege of not being politically active even in social groups but it reminded me that the person I was talking to had a fundamentally different view than me and we’re not gonna see eye to eye. Even tried to correct me on how I view my blackness and queerness because I said this specific type of exclusion is foreign to me bc the gatekeeping in my black community is so different, especially in queer american spaces because we’re kind of forced to interact with gender and sexuality a specific way, so worrying about someone not fucking is just??? Who cares?? All in all a waste of time, don’t recommend!

#i asked how do ace ppl being considered queer affect u irl #i got 3 hours of flandering a vague scholarships and homeless shelters that we don’t know actually happened #until they suddenly remembered it happened in college actually!!! #not to say it’s not true but I feel like it would’ve been brought up earlier idk tho #anyways #in conclusion I remembered why I don’t like white gay ppl #also this isn’t me saying gatekeeping is bad I love it #i just don’t get why this is the line #i think my #problem in that convo was that I was scared to make it about race #which is ironic and I realized that way too late #Bc my whole point was intersections of identities leading to differences in how we express them #it is about race to me bc I’m black and that’s how I interact with the world and my queerness #trying to tamp that down is the whole problem #but whateverrr #and I’ll admit this contributed to a lot of backtracking and confusion #but like even when I cleared the air up we didn’t agree #Bc we don’t have the same experience #and i don’t see myself as queer or black #and sometimes not even queer and black #Im a queer black person the ppl in my community are queer black people #some of those queer black people are ace gauw #all in all #that quote about a straight man in a dress being my community before a gay republican or whatever! #also the age thing is so funny like I said black kids don’t get to be uninvolved in politics #if you’re black and queer? c’mon man #i was on the side of exclusion when I was like 13 and grew out of it when I saw the ppl around me #log off!! thx <3 good luck

[clearlitebergaming]

ah somehow i got reminded

you know that midgardsormr have 7 broods. hes like the oldest dragon and have no other spouse when his eggs hatched. i joked to my friends that “hey midgardsormr laid the eggs himself!” and subsequently implying that hraesvelgr, the male dragon, also gave birth to vidofnir 

some of people tries to reason / debunk that ‘no it must be laid by his mate, he just took it to safety’; and by the time the 7 eggs hatched, they are male and female dragon so they mated and the female dragon laid the eggs to current population of dragons

BUT THEN IN ENDWALKER LORE THE DEV SAID “lol yeah all dragons can lay eggs and they dont view genders the same as human actually” 

and i was like

#it is also implied that dragon only uses 'male' and 'female' to fit into human's culture n understanding? #i said 'human' but it actually refers to the playable races of the game #you can see the game evolves like this #i know they still carries with them the 2010 vibes #but more recent updates you can feel it changes #stuffs like sexuality n gender identity #its not as rigid anymore #heck #even the last valentiones event is subtly about that #anyway im rooting for xiv dev to make a forward stride :D #ffxiv #rambles

[lunarharp]

a random draft where i was ramblingg about witch hat & art to myself for myself :)

rare time i feel like actually going off about the thing i’m having fun with right now in more detail ... but not on twt where strangers might try to discuss back at me lol sorry but that is scary. (not that you even have the room to soliloquy on there)

i love how there's characters for varying types of artists to relate to. people like agott who have been adept at drawing from a young age but feel overwhelmed by feelings of not meeting their expectations. and are driven mostly by feelings of wanting to prove their worth..

people like oru who have always been around the art but now are burnt out from commissions and wondering just what they're drawing for... and ones i relate to the most personally like coco and qifrey, who started drawing at an older age to the skilled people around them. like coco i'm so happy that i'm in the world of drawing(/magic) now and excited every day but also weighed down by fears that i'll never get to what i where i need to be after starting at this late stage and also whether i'm really cut out for this....

and like qifrey i only started drawing after a narrow escape from trauma... i started drawing to make sense of what my life is now, just as he was invited by beldaruit to become a witch because it was the only safe path he could take. (although i've not been through anything quite like what he's been through... ouagh)

and there’s tetia who just wants to draw to make other people feel happy about what she’s made, to have fun, and spread hope and happiness and gratitude. who feels so happy whenever someone thanks her for what she’s created - i understand now how it feels to want to thank them for thanking her and how making art, when you get a meaningful response, can be a truly warm communal type experience. but you do need that response - her overwhelming happiness when the dragon thing was happy and she said it was the first time she’d ever felt fully appreciated for her magic and it made her soooo happy. she had been drawing until then, but it was the last puzzle in place to make her realise the breadth of what magic can be for her.

and riche who is determined to not lose the “her”-ness from her art, doesn’t want to learn new techniques and become more regular and orthodox in style if it means she feels she’s losing something... i get that!!! precious autistic-coded child... the ways we feel about our art differ depending on our own mental landscapes. hahhhh... shirahama said she began this series because she was having a conversation with artist friends about how it feels like drawing just really is magic. i mean..... it is.

i think writing feels like magic too, and i’m glad i can do both now. any creation is total magic. i’ve drawn scenes that were in my head and that’s let other people see them and if i can trust their comments about it, has moved them in some way or at least let them imagine a scene or a situation that they wouldn’t have imagined otherwise. but it’s different from just telling someone about it. when you draw something, or write something it really exists now - outside of you. THAT’S SO WEIRD.

i liked drawing a lot of takarazuka things (before i realised i got kind of burnt out drawing all this transcore stuff that people were not exactly responding to because it’s so niche and weird lmao) but drawing fanart for something that also ONLY exists in art is so special. it’s not acted by real people. like.. they’re just little people that someone drew and now i draw them too. total magic. and she gets up and draws them every day the same as me...

i love that a manga isn’t just art, it’s storytelling too. doing both writing and drawing at the same time - it feels like such a perfect and fascinating combination of skills and facets of creation. i’m better at writing than drawing, so i don’t feel like i can express my original stories well enough in comic form just yet. but i might just get there.

the world is so confusing and overwhelming and terrible every day. only creation is something i can understand. sometimes i can’t understand it - when i feel REALLY bad, it’s definitely like, what’s the point. and i wish i had more things to experience at present than just creation - i want to be outside and just feel and be as well as create. and at some point i’ll definitely stop posting my creations online. but creating has become something that i don’t need to understand the reason for it - so at those times when i wonder what the real point to any of this is.... lately, i usually still create anyway. just as you’d still breathe and sleep even though you’re hurt and confused by the horrors of the world. it’s becoming how i express myself. i find myself drawing pretty much every day because it’s part of how i make sense of shit now and i naturally want to do it. not doing it is painful.

i hope this magic continues. i hope it becomes far more wonderful than i can even imagine from here.

and i won't lose.

#things really are different if you start drawing in your mid/late 20s or onwards. #you haven't developed your idea of yourself as an 'artist' at the time your brain was developing your identity. #but reading something that is basically saying- it's not too late and you have your own magic that only youan do... is so heartening. #also the manga is very gay. it's not THAT shockingly original and fascinating a story- but like... #i just don't know many ongoing fun series with interesting lovable characters where there are also major representations #for disability race queerness etc. #esp if tetia is trans. shirahama-sensei you can tell me... #MOSTLY IM LOSING MY MIND AT WHERE THE SERIES IS GOING LIKE I AM SCARED. my theories are dark and i fear for qifrey SOMEONE HELP HIMMM.. #ONCE AGAIN LET SOMEONE HLEP YOU YOU QUESTIONABLE AND TRAGIC GAY LITTLE SKIRT MAN #i hate that i had to just let my fic be so short. I CANT WRITE ANY MORE RIGHT NOW...i would have to make up so much plot stuff #bc orufrey CANNT happen they cant freaking KISS until so much is sorted out between them which requires the plot moving forward and.. #AUGHHH !!!! sensei please just tell me what happens please please please please please please please please please #the next chapter looks hella plot-ful but STILL..it's going to take YEARS..i just want to know if qifrey IS GOING TO SURVIVE THIS SHIT !!!! #if the brimhats [redacted] then he'll [redacted] and THEN WHAT IF [redacted] has to [redacted] I FEEL LIKE SENSEI'LL DO THAT !!! SCARED #SURELLLY she'll have [redacted] have to [redacted] but i dont think shed go as far as [redacted] ?????? #i plan to go to japan next year if possible anyway but what if it's too early for an anime-fuelled merch section in animate. please #this is like the first new and non-zuka thing i've been hyperfixated on for years. i need official qifrey and oru items. I need the items #once again i feel weird putting my personal feelings and theories on the internet to an audience of nobody but once again we will die. #am i going to be on my deathbed thinking 'oh i shouldn't have happily gone off about witch hat on tumblr that time how embarrassing' no. #do you know how worthwhile it is to enjoy something. and to basically avoid other fanworks for the most part so you're just surrounded #by your own pure and enjoyable feelings. #i actually went to a local queer art place yesterday and like. man i was very different to them but #there are people somewhat like me out there huh. somewhere. i'm going to make zines and art and express my world. even if just a bit. #literally why would you priv reblog something like this i think there is something wrong with you? i feel better about myself now #i will find the ones like me not the ones like you <3

[rhys-ravenfeather]

I will admit upfront that this is just 100% me being bitter, and probably a bit petty, not to mention basically just repeating myself since I’ve said stuff like this before in previous posts, but as a biracial person, I really wish that there was more representation/recognition of biracial people, and the mixed-race experience, not only in canon media, but in more fandom circles.

#rhys-ravenfeather signing on #mixedpeople #mixedheritage #earlier today i was thinking about a CERTAIN popular headcanon from a certain popular series again and like... #look putting everything else aside #looking at that particular character and what they happen to be i...kind of see another take #and not just them but honestly half-human/hybrid characters in general #i may have mentioned right now that i've been rewatching trollhunters and i'm ngl...i feel a certain kinship with the changelings... #look full disclaimer--it's 2023 if you want to see fictional characters as having a certain sexuality and/or gender identity go for it! #i'm just...i don't know; i guess i just KIND OF wish my experience was more universal? #that certain character views/headcanons didn't drown others out? #again this isn't to dump on anyone or any group of people #but on the other hand; like i mentioned some time back the character i related to most for a while as a kid was a hecking WOLFDOG #and let me tell you--as a fair-skinned mixed-race girl who grew up in the tropics #and constantly thought about the fact that she didn't look like most of the other people around her that was pretty dang CATHARTIC to me #yeah again sorry i know this is dumb and it got long this is just kind of something i had to vent about #also sorry if i stepped on anyone's toes--all of you are wonderful and valid