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baekhvuns · 2 years

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Miss Baek I forgot to include this in my previous message:

NOT MY DREAM but my friend who barely has any dreams was probably influenced by me talking about Hwa, so he showed up in her subconscious. This is what she sent me:

"I was camping on a beach in Alaska with some river guide, a few other random people and Seonghwa. The guide was trying to figure out how to feed us for the night so he slaughtered a giant whale. Hwa was mad that he killed something massive just to sink the rest of the body. We were also arguing over how he cut up the meat. I woke up in the middle of everyone arguing over why we killed the whale."

Sounds pretty awful ngl, they were also on a small wooden boat, BUT SEONGHWA HAD WAIST LENGTH BLACK HAIR 😭😭😭😭 how can I enter her mind I NEED TO PERCEIVE THIS SEONGHWA 😳😳😳😳

What about an AU... minus the whale killing maybe, but... lost somewhere on the sea with long haired Hwa. Rapunzel era Seonghwa when 😩 - DV 💖

hi !!

Baek?! Jwyeuusshahs was it a good dream?! 👀

yes☺️

Laundry boy Hwa my beloved <3 my brain is creating its own AUs every single night, lol

LMFAOOOO no bc same 😭😭 some of those scenarios id never put out omg 😭😭 i rmr having this one dream where i was in the sm practice studio? and u know the beginning song of that porn thing 😭😭 the one ppl did challenges too where they played it and see who’s head turned 😭😭😭 i did that in my dream where i played it fhfhf coincidentally baekhyun was there and he shot his head up and then i got scolded for it???? bRO U RECOGNIZED IT FBWMFJWK

I did take a photo of me giving the middle finger to SM's building, so it was the first step in my revenge, lmaooo. Gonna plan my next move soon... I really don't wanna give my money to any big company, but SM especially yet I can't stop cause Shinee and Taeyeon and Hyo and some other soloists... I bought Kai's and Baekhyun's albums too 😩 I wanna be free from SME so bad

YES YES OH MY GOD WHAT A ICON !!!!!!! there should be a trend to do that pose tbh,, but then sm would sue 😭😭 YEAH NAUR SAME but their artists 😩😩 not the new ones but the older one’s music is so 🤌🏼🤌🏼✨😮‍💨 i can’t help but do it,, sm rly has us fans on the slave contract for more than 10+ years

At least Hannah could still sing, right?! Feetless, but still slaying. And please don't ask about the head thing, I had problems okkk...

NO BATTERY 😭😭 no bc anon what the fuck were u and ur friend on 😭😭😭🔫

Damn the scent must be strong then :o omg do you know them?! https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51xurg7EyqL._AC_SY355_.jpg I had the 🍑 one also 🍒 and they were so cute plus smelled nicely, I carried them in my pockets

I DO BUT I NEVER EVER GOT THEM 😭😭😭 id get those glare eyes and a shake of head and i knew i wasn’t getting, do u rmr the chapstick phase 😭😭😭😭 LIKE A BOX OF CHAPSTICKS

I actually only like half of the Ep Fin 🙊 I had a change of heart and love Ep 3 now (Illusion is not my beloved, but it's bearable) I also revisited their debut back in 2020 and tbh no skip for me, love the tropical vibes. Still ZFP1 is my fave fave! I really can't wait for what they have in store I'm hoping for something hard-hitting and rock inspired, but from that little spoiler Seonghwa was giving I'm not sure...maybe he's fucking with us. Shit I almost forgot we're getting the JP cb soon, ROOOOOCKYYYYYY. Hopefully people don't abandon bodyguard Hwa in favour of boxer Hwa 😳

i would like to say, dazzling light superior >>> FBWMDHEK UR A WAVE GIRLIE ME TOO !!! no bc kpop needs more tropical music, we need winner back 😭😭😭😭 HEY HEY I WILL HUNT U ALL DOWN IF U GUYS CHANGE BODYGUARD TO BOXER 🔫 I WILL GIVE THAT SAD ENDING FHKWHDKW

Yes, ofc I interview myself, I argue with myself, I agree with myself kausiayshshwgdsh Kokobop omfgggg and Wave 💙 I do like fresh scents the most, fruity ones too! Not a big fan of flowery, many flowers make me sneeze. And pls don't steal everything or I will have to arrest you :(

YES YES 😭😭😭 and utopia! i feel like u give those vibes! some flowery scents r labeled as not strong but they are SO strong???? I WILL MAKE A HEIST AND ROB YOU RN ARREST ME 🔫

You're living my dream damn! Loverholic, robotronic, loverholic, robotronic 🤪

LMFAOOOO idk what sm was on during that era but truly so legendary along with snsd’s hypertonic supersonic 😭😭😭

Today I have this lil video to offer. I'm obsessed with it and it's back on my tl 😭 he's ao cute, Seyoung my baby. I mean that's just Hwa let's face it. 🥨 boy, pls give him all the pretzels in the world: https://twitter.com/hwalilac/status/1522602163494879232?t=FIDYL5wscxM0TUD3Vnh9sg&s=19

SCREAMING HES SO FUCKING CUTE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 TAKE ALL THE PRETZELS TAKE THEM TAKE THEM

So I haven't been reading webtoons recently I seriously need to catch up on reading and some kpop content 😭😭😭😭 but I found a new webtoon called Long After The Ending and the plot is so interesting and pretty unusual!

👁👁 gonna go add that in rn!

Uhm also do you know those ASMR NSFW videos on YT? Sometimes when I search for MARS ASMR I get that one video called "ASMR Seonghwa moans" in my suggestions 😬 It's obviously not him, though some people in the comments genuinely thought so 💀 I never listened to it for longer than 10 seconds. But today I was showing someone his AMSR content and they were like "uhhh and what is THAT"

i DO! theres a what… 👁

And then my bestie reminded me of a cam boy Seonghwa and porn star Seonghwa fanfics. 🤚🏻 Jesus has left the chat long time ago... there's no hope for us - DV 💖

HDMWHDKWJDKW STOP BC THERES SO MANY GOOD ONES HERE PLS 😭😭😭

NOT MY DREAM but my friend who barely has any dreams was probably influenced by me talking about Hwa, so he showed up in her subconscious. This is what she sent me:

LMFAOOOO????????? SEONGHWA FISHER!AU?????? seonghwa titanic au…

Sounds pretty awful ngl, they were also on a small wooden boat, BUT SEONGHWA HAD WAIST LENGTH BLACK HAIR 😭😭😭😭 how can I enter her mind I NEED TO PERCEIVE THIS SEONGHWA 😳😳😳😳

he what.

What about an AU... minus the whale killing maybe, but... lost somewhere on the sea with long haired Hwa. Rapunzel era Seonghwa when 😩 - DV 💖

LMFAOOOO FHWKDHWK READER AS FLYNN RIDER AND HWA AS RAPUNZEL 😭😭😭😭 PLS IT WOULD BE A DREAM TO READ IT

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon #i ANSWERED THE WRONG ASK fhzsfghfagjagw

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bananaofswifts · 5 years

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IT’S A SUNDAY AFTERNOON in Tribeca, and I’m in Taylor Swift’s loft, inside a former printing house that she has restored and fortified into a sanctuary of brick, velvet, and mahogany. The space is warm and cozy and vaguely literary—later, when we pass through her bedroom en route to her garden, 10 percent of my brain will believe her wardrobe might open up to Narnia. Barefoot in a wine-colored floral top and matching flowy pants, Swift is typing passwords into a laptop to show me the video for “You Need to Calm Down,” eight days before she unleashes it on the world. I have a sliver of an idea what to expect. A few weeks earlier, I spent a day at the video shoot, in a dusty field-slash-junkyard north of Los Angeles. Swift had made it a sort of Big Gay Candy Mountain trailer park, a Technicolor happy place. The cast and crew wore heart-shaped sunglasses—living, breathing lovey-eyes emoji—and a mailbox warned, LOVE LETTERS ONLY. Swift and a stream of costars filmed six scenes over about a dozen hours. The singer-songwriter Hayley Kiyoko, known to her fans as “Lesbian Jesus,” shot arrows at a bull’s-eye. The YouTube comedian-chef Hannah Hart danced alongside Dexter Mayfield, the plus-size male model and self-described “big boy in heels.” The Olympic figure skater Adam Rippon served up icy red snow cones. Swift and her close friend Todrick Hall, of Kinky Boots and RuPaul’s Drag Race, sipped tea with the cast of Queer Eye. The mood was joyous and laid-back. But by the end of the day, I wasn’t sure what the vignettes would add up to. There were shoot days and cameos I wouldn’t observe. For security reasons, the song was never played aloud. (The cast wore ear buds.) Even the hero shot, in which Swift and Hall sauntered arm in arm through the dreamscape at golden hour, was filmed in near-total silence. For weeks afterward, I tried to sleuth out a theory. I started casually. There was a “5” on the bull’s-eye, so I did a quick search to figure out what that number might mean. Immediately I was in over my head. Swift has a thing for symbols. I knew she had been embedding secret messages in liner notes and deploying metaphors as refrains since her self-titled debut in 2006—long before her megafame made her into a symbol of pop supremacy. But I hadn’t understood how coded and byzantine her body of work has become; I hadn’t learned, as Swift’s fans have, to see hidden meanings everywhere. For instance: In the 2017 video for “Look What You Made Me Do,” a headstone in a graveyard scene reads NILS SJOBERG, the pseudonym Swift used as her writing credit on Rihanna’s hit “This Is What You Came For,” a Swedish-sounding nod to that country’s pop wizards. After an excessive amount of ad hoc scholarship—a friend joked that I could have learned Mandarin in the time I spent trying to unpack Swift’s oeuvre—I was no closer to a theory. Pop music has become so layered and meta, but the Taylor Swift Universe stands apart. Apprehending it is like grasping quantum physics. My first indication of what her new album, Lover, would be about came just after midnight on June 1, the beginning of Pride Month, when Swift introduced a petition in support of the federal Equality Act. This legislation would amend the Civil Rights Act to outlaw discrimination based on gender identity and sexual orientation. (It has passed the House, but prospects in Mitch McConnell’s Senate are unclear.) Swift also posted a letter to Senator Lamar Alexander, Republican of Tennessee, asking him to vote yes. The request, on her personal letterhead (born in 1989. LOVES CATS.), denounced President Trump for not supporting the Equality Act. “I personally reject the president’s stance,” Swift wrote. Back in the kitchen, Swift hits play. “The first verse is about trolls and cancel culture,” she says. “The second verse is about homophobes and the people picketing outside our concerts. The third verse is about successful women being pitted against each other.” The video is, for erudite Swifties, a rich text. I had followed enough clues to correctly guess some of the other cameos—Ellen DeGeneres, RuPaul, Katy Perry. I felt the satisfaction of a gamer who successfully levels up—achievement unlocked! The video’s final frame sends viewers to Swift’s change.org petition in support of the Equality Act, which has acquired more than 400,000 signatures—including those of Cory Booker, Elizabeth Warren, Beto O’Rourke, and Kirsten Gillibrand—or four times the number required to elicit an official response from the White House. “Maybe a year or two ago, Todrick and I are in the car, and he asked me, What would you do if your son was gay?” We are upstairs in Swift’s secret garden, comfortably ensconced in a human-scale basket that is sort of shaped like a cocoon. Swift has brought up an ornate charcuterie board and is happily slathering triple-cream Brie onto sea-salt crackers. “The fact that he had to ask me … shocked me and made me realize that I had not made my position clear enough or loud enough,” she says. “If my son was gay, he’d be gay. I don’t understand the question.” I have pressed Swift on this topic, and her answers have been direct, not performative or scripted. I do sense that she enjoys talking to me about as much as she’d enjoy a root canal—but she’s unfailingly polite, and when we turn to music, her face will light up and she will add little melodic phrases to her speech, clearly her preferred language. “If he was thinking that, I can’t imagine what my fans in the LGBTQ community might be thinking,” she goes on. “It was kind of devastating to realize that I hadn’t been publicly clear about that.” I understand why she was surprised; she has been sending pro-LGBTQ signals since at least 2011. Many have been subtle, but none insignificant—especially for a young country star coming out of Nashville. In the video for her single “Mean” (from 2010’s Speak Now), we see a boy in a school locker room wearing a lavender sweater and bow tie, surrounded by football players. In “Welcome to New York,” the first track on 1989, she sings, “And you can want who you want. Boys and boys and girls and girls.” Two years later, she donated to a fund for the newly created Stonewall National Monument and presented Ruby Rose with a GLAAD Media Award. Every night of last year’s Reputation tour, she dedicated the song “Dress” to Loie Fuller, the openly gay pioneer of modern dance and theatrical lighting who captured the imagination of fin-de-siècle Paris. Swift, who has been criticized for keeping her politics to herself, first took an explicit stance a month before the 2018 midterms. On Instagram, she endorsed Democrats for the Tennessee Legislature and called out the Republican running for Senate, Marsha Blackburn. “She believes businesses have a right to refuse service to gay couples,” Swift wrote. “She also believes they should not have the right to marry. These are not MY Tennessee values.” Swift says the post was partly to help young fans understand that if they wanted to vote, they had to register. To tell them, as she puts it, “Hey, just so you know, you can’t just roll up.” Some 65,000 new voters registered in the first 24 hours after her post, according to Vote.org. Trump came to Blackburn’s defense the following day. “She’s a tremendous woman,” he told reporters. “I’m sure Taylor Swift doesn’t know anything about her. Let’s say I like Taylor’s music about 25 percent less now, OK?” In April, spurred by a raft of anti-LGBTQ bills in Tennessee, Swift donated $113,000 to the Tennessee Equality Project, which advocates for LGBTQ rights. “Horrendous,” she says of the legislation. “They don’t call it ‘Slate of Hate’ for nothing.” Swift especially liked that the Tennessee Equality Project had organized a petition of faith leaders in opposition. “I loved how smart it was to come at it from a religious perspective.” Meanwhile, the “Calm Down” video provoked a Colorado pastor to call Swift “a sinner in desperate need of a savior” and warn that “God will cut her down.” It also revived heated debate within LGBTQ communities about the politics of allyship and corporatization of Pride. Some critics argued Swift’s pro-LGBTQ imagery and lyrics were overdue and out of the blue—a reaction the new Swift scholar in me found bewildering. Had they not been paying attention? Nor did it strike me as out of character for Swift to leverage her power for a cause. She pulled her catalog from Spotify in 2014 over questions of artist compensation. She stared down Apple in 2015, when the company said it would not pay artists during the launch of its music service. (Apple reversed itself immediately.) As a condition of her record deal with Universal Music Group last year, the company promised that it would distribute proceeds from any sale of its Spotify shares to all of its artists. And this summer, Swift furiously called out Scott Borchetta, founder of Big Machine Label Group, for selling her master recordings to the music manager Scooter Braun. (When I ask Swift if she tried to get her masters from Big Machine, her whole body slumps with a palpable heaviness. “It was either investing in my past or my and other artists’ future, and I chose the future,” she says of the deal she struck with Universal.) Swift’s blunt testimony during her 2017 sexual-assault case against a radio DJ—months before the #MeToo reckoning blew open—felt deeply political to me and, I imagine, many other women. Swift accused the DJ, David Mueller, of groping her under her skirt at a photo session in 2013. Her camp reported the incident to his employer, who fired him. Mueller denied the allegation, sued Swift for $3 million, and his case was thrown out. Swift countersued for a symbolic $1 and won. In a Colorado courtroom, Swift described the incident: “He stayed latched onto my bare ass cheek” as photos were being snapped. Asked why photos of the front of her skirt didn’t show this, she said, “Because my ass is located at the back of my body.” Asked if she felt bad about the DJ’s losing his job, she said, “I’m not going to let you or your client make me feel in any way that this is my fault. Here we are years later, and I’m being blamed for the unfortunate events of his life that are the product of his decisions—not mine.” When Time included Swift on the cover of its “Silence Breakers” issue that year, the magazine asked how she felt during the testimony. “I was angry,” she said. “In that moment, I decided to forgo any courtroom formalities and just answer the questions the way it happened…I’m told it was the most amount of times the word ass has ever been said in Colorado Federal Court.” Mueller has since paid Swift the dollar—with a Sacagawea coin. “He was trolling me, implying that I was self-righteous and hell-bent on angry, vengeful feminism. That’s what I’m inferring from him giving me a Sacagawea coin,” Swift says. “Hey, maybe he was trying to do it in honor of a powerful Native American woman. I didn’t ask.” Where is the coin now? “My lawyer has it.” I ask her, why get louder about LGBTQ rights now? “Rights are being stripped from basically everyone who isn’t a straight white cisgender male,” she says. “I didn’t realize until recently that I could advocate for a community that I’m not a part of. It’s hard to know how to do that without being so fearful of making a mistake that you just freeze. Because my mistakes are very loud. When I make a mistake, it echoes through the canyons of the world. It’s clickbait, and it’s a part of my life story, and it’s a part of my career arc.” I’d argue that no heterosexual woman can listen to “You Need to Calm Down” and hear only a gay anthem. “Calm down” is what controlling men tell women who are angry, contrary, or “hysterical,” or, let’s say, fearing for their physical safety. It is what Panic! at the Disco singer Brendon Urie says to Swift in the beginning of the “ME!” music video, prompting her to scream, “Je suis calme!” I cannot believe it is a coincidence that Swift, a numbers geek with an affinity for dates, dropped the single—whose slow, incessant bass is likely to be bumping in stadiums across the world in 2020 if she goes on tour—on June 14, a certain president’s birthday. It’s enlightening to read 13 years of Taylor Swift coverage—all the big reviews, all the big profiles—in one sitting. You notice things. How quickly Swift went from a “prodigy” (The New Yorker) and a “songwriting savant” (Rolling Stone) to a tabloid fixture, for instance. Or how suspect her ambition is made to seem once she acquires real power. Other plot points simply look different in the light of #MeToo. It is hard to imagine that Swift’s songs about her exes would be reviewed as sensationally today. I wonder if, in 2019, any man would dare grab the microphone out of a young woman’s hands at an awards show. I stared into space for a good long while when I was reminded that Pitchfork did not review Taylor Swift’s 1989 but did review Ryan Adams’s cover album of Taylor Swift’s 1989. I ask Swift if she had always been aware of sexism. “I think about this a lot,” she says. “When I was a teenager, I would hear people talk about sexism in the music industry, and I’d be like, I don’t see it. I don’t understand. Then I realized that was because I was a kid. Men in the industry saw me as a kid. I was a lanky, scrawny, overexcited young girl who reminded them more of their little niece or their daughter than a successful woman in business or a colleague. The second I became a woman, in people’s perception, was when I started seeing it. “It’s fine to infantilize a girl’s success and say, How cute that she’s having some hit songs,” she goes on. “How cute that she’s writing songs. But the second it becomes formidable? As soon as I started playing stadiums—when I started to look like a woman—that wasn’t as cool anymore. It was when I started to have songs from Red come out and cross over, like ‘I Knew You Were Trouble’ and ‘We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.’ ” Those songs are also more assertive than the ones that came before, I say. “Yeah, the angle was different when I started saying, I knew you were trouble when you walked in. Basically, you emotionally manipulated me and I didn’t love it. That wasn’t fun for me.” I have to wonder if having her songwriting overlooked as her hits were picked apart and scrutinized wasn’t the biggest bummer of all. Swift: “I wanted to say to people, You realize writing songs is an art and a craft and not, like, an easy thing to do? Or to do well? People would act like it was a weapon I was using. Like a cheap dirty trick. Be careful, bro, she’ll write a song about you. Don’t stand near her. First of all, that’s not how it works. Second of all, find me a time when they say that about a male artist: Be careful, girl, he’ll use his experience with you to get—God forbid—inspiration to make art.” Without question the tenor of the Taylor Swift Narrative changed most dramatically in July 2016, when Kim Kardashian West called her a “snake” on Twitter, and released video clips of Swift and Kanye West discussing the lyrics to his song “Famous.” (No need to rehash the details here. Suffice it to say that Swift’s version of events hasn’t changed: She knew about some of the lyrics but not others; specifically, the words that bitch.) The posts sparked several hashtags, including #TaylorSwiftIsASnake and #TaylorSwiftIsCanceled, which quickly escalated into a months-long campaign to “cancel” Swift. To this day Swift doesn’t think people grasp the repercussions of that term. “A mass public shaming, with millions of people saying you are quote-unquote canceled, is a very isolating experience,” she says. “I don’t think there are that many people who can actually understand what it’s like to have millions of people hate you very loudly.” She adds: “When you say someone is canceled, it’s not a TV show. It’s a human being. You’re sending mass amounts of messaging to this person to either shut up, disappear, or it could also be perceived as, Kill yourself.” I get a sense of the whiplash Swift experienced when I notice that, a few months into this ordeal, while she was writing the songs that an interpolation of a ’90s camp classic, Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy.”) Nonetheless, most critics read it as a grenade lobbed in the general direction of Calabasas. One longtime Nashville critic, Brian Mansfield, had a more plausible take: She was writing sarcastically as the “Taylor Swift” portrayed in the media in a bid for privacy. “Yeah, this is the character you created for me, let me just hide behind it,” she says now of the persona she created. “I always used this metaphor when I was younger. I’d say that with every reinvention, I never wanted to tear down my house. ’Cause I built this house. This house being, metaphorically, my body of work, my songwriting, my music, my catalog, my library. I just wanted to redecorate. I think a lot of people, with Reputation, would have perceived that I had torn down the house. Actually, I just built a bunker around it.” In March, the snakes started to morph into butterflies, the vampire color palette into Easter pastels. When a superbloom of wildflowers lured a mesmerizing deluge of Painted Lady butterflies to Los Angeles, Swift marked it with an Instagram post. She attended the iHeartRadio Music Awards that night in a sequin romper and stilettos with shimmery wings attached. Swift announced the single “ME!” a month later, with a large butterfly mural in Nashville. In the music video for the (conspicuously) bubblegum song, a hissing pastel-pink snake explodes into a kaleidoscope of butterflies. One flutters by the window of an apartment, where Swift is arguing in French with Urie. A record player is playing in the background. “It’s an old-timey, 1940s-sounding instrumental version of ‘You Need to Calm Down,’ ’’ Swift says. Later, in the “Calm Down” video, Swift wears a (fake) back tattoo of a snake swarmed by butterflies. We are only two songs in, people. Lover, to be released on August 23, will have a total of 18 songs. “I was compiling ideas for a very long time,” Swift says. “When I started writing, I couldn’t stop.” (We can assume the British actor Joe Alwyn, with whom Swift has been in a relationship for nearly three years, provided some of the inspiration.) Swift thinks Lover might be her favorite album yet. “There are so many ways in which this album feels like a new beginning,” she says. “This album is really a love letter to love, in all of its maddening, passionate, exciting, enchanting, horrific, tragic, wonderful glory.” I have to ask Swift, given how genuinely at peace she seems, if part of her isn’t thankful, if not for the Great Cancellation of 2016, then for the person she now is—knowing who her friends are, knowing what’s what. “When you’re going through loss or embarrassment or shame, it’s a grieving process with so many micro emotions in a day. One of the reasons why I didn’t do interviews for Reputation was that I couldn’t figure out how I felt hour to hour. Sometimes I felt like: All these things taught me something that I never could have learned in a way that didn’t hurt as much. Five minutes later, I’d feel like: That was horrible. Why did that have to happen? What am I supposed to take from this other than mass amounts of humiliation? And then five minutes later I’d think: I think I might be happier than I’ve ever been.” She goes on: “It’s so strange trying to be self-aware when you’ve been cast as this always smiling, always happy ‘America’s sweetheart’ thing, and then having that taken away and realizing that it’s actually a great thing that it was taken away, because that’s extremely limiting.” Swift leans back in the cocoon and smiles: “We’re not going to go straight to gratitude with it. Ever. But we’re going to find positive aspects to it. We’re never going to write a thank-you note.” Though people will take the Perry-Swift burger-and-fries embrace in the “You Need to Calm Down” video as a press release that the two have mended fences, Swift says it’s actually a comment on how the media pits female pop stars against one another. After Perry sent Swift an (actual) olive branch last year, Swift asked her to be in the video: “She wrote back, This makes me so emotional. I’m so up for this. I want us to be that example. But let’s spend some time together. Because I want it to be real. So she came over and we talked for hours. “We decided the metaphor for what happens in the media,” Swift explains, “is they pick two people and it’s like they’re pouring gasoline all over the floor. All that needs to happen is one false move, one false word, one misunderstanding, and a match is lit and dropped. That’s what happened with us. It was: Who’s better? Katy or Taylor? Katy or Taylor? Katy or Taylor? Katy or Taylor? The tension is so high that it becomes impossible for you to not think that the other person has something against you.“ Meanwhile, the protesters in the video reference a real-life religious group that pickets outside Swift’s concerts, not the white working class in general, as some have assumed. “So many artists have them at their shows, and it’s such a confounding, confusing, infuriating thing to have outside of joyful concerts,” she tells me. “Obviously I don’t want to mention the actual entity, because they would get excited about that. Giving them press is not on my list of priorities.” At one point, Swift asks if I would like to hear two other songs off the new album. (Duh.) First she plays “Lover,” the title track, coproduced by Jack Antonoff. “This has one of my favorite bridges,” she says. “I love a bridge, and I was really able to go to Bridge City.” It’s a romantic, haunting, waltzy, singer-songwritery nugget: classic Swift. “My heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue,” she sings. “All’s well that ends well to end up with you.” Next, Swift cues up a track that “plays with the idea of perception.” She has often wondered how she would be written and spoken about if she were a man, “so I wrote a song called ‘The Man.’ ” It’s a thought experiment of sorts: “If I had made all the same choices, all the same mistakes, all the same accomplishments, how would it read?” Seconds later, Swift’s earpods are pumping a synth-pop earworm into my head: “I’d be a fearless leader. I’d be an alpha type. When everyone believes ya: What’s that like?” Swift wrote the first two singles with Joel Little, best known as one of Lorde’s go-to producers. (“From a pop-songwriting point of view, she’s the pinnacle,” Little says of Swift.) The album is likely to include more marquee names. A portrait of the Dixie Chicks in the background of the “ME!” video almost certainly portends a collaboration. If fans are correctly reading a button affixed to her denim jacket in a recent magazine cover, we can expect one with Drake, too. Lover. “We met at one of her shows,” says McCartney, “and then we had a girls’ night and kind of jumped straight in. In London we’ll go on walks and talk about everything—life and love.” (Swift has no further fashion ambitions at the moment. “I really love my job right now,” she tells me. “My focus is on music.”) Oh, and that “5” on the bullseye? Track five is called “The Archer.” Yet something tells me the most illuminating clue for reading both Lover and Reputationmay be Loie Fuller, the dancer to whom Swift paid homage on tour. As Swift noted on a Jumbotron, Fuller “fought for artists to own their work.” Fuller also used swirling fabric and colored lights to metamorphose onstage, playing a “hide-and-seek illusionist game” with her audience, as one writer has put it. She became a muse to the Symbolists in Paris, where Jean Cocteau wrote that she created “the phantom of an era.” The effect, said the poet Stéphane Mallarmé, was a “dizziness of soul made visible by an artifice.” Fuller’s most famous piece was “Serpentine Dance.” Another was “Butterfly Dance.” Swift has had almost no downtime since late 2017, but what little she does have is divided among New York, Nashville, Los Angeles, and Rhode Island, where she keeps homes—plus London. In an essay earlier this year, she revealed that her mother, Andrea Swift, is fighting cancer for a second time. “There was a relapse that happened,” Swift says, declining to go into detail. “It’s something that my family is going through.” Later this year, she will star in a film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Cats as Bombalurina, the flirtatious red cat. “They made us the size of cats by making the furniture bigger,” she says. “You’d be standing there and you could barely reach the seat of a chair. It was phenomenal. It made you feel like a little kid.” But first, she will spend much of the summer holding “secret sessions”—a tradition wherein Swift invites hundreds of fans to her various homes to preview her new music. “They’ve never given me a reason to stop doing it,” she says. “Not a single one.” Speaking of: Inquiring fans will want to know if Swift dropped any more clues about how to decode Lover during this interview. For you I reviewed the audio again, and there were a few things that made my newly acquired Swifty sense tingle. At one point she compared superstardom in the digital age to life in a dollhouse, one where voyeurs “can ‘ship’ you with who they want to ‘ship’ you with, and they can ‘favorite’ friends that you have, and they can know where you are all the time.” The metaphor was precise and vivid and, well, a little too intricately rendered to be off the cuff. (Also, the “ME!” lyric: “Baby doll, when it comes to a lover. I promise that you’ll never find another like me.”) Then there was the balloon—a giant gold balloon in the shape of a numeral seven that happened to float by while we were on her roof, on this, the occasion of her seventh album. “Is it an L’?” I say. “No, because look, the string is hanging from the bottom,” she says. It might seem an obvious symbolic gesture, deployed for this interview, except for how impossible that seems. Swift let me control the timing of nearly everything. Moreover, the gold seven wasn’t floating up from the sidewalk below. It was already high in the sky, drifting slowly toward us from down the street. She would have had to control the wind, or at least to have studied it. Would Taylor Swift really go to such elaborate lengths for her fans? This much I know: Yes, she would.

#taylor swift #vogue #article

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ase-trollplays · 3 years

Text

Facts about Ruvlin

He and Hannah are siblings, Ruvlin being the older one

His ultimate goal/dream is to one day have command over one of Alternia’s Off-Planet colonies. He’s applied several times and been rejected

He adamantly doesn’t believe in superstitions, luck, curses, or magic

He’s technically considered a mutant, but his mutations are minor enough that, combined with his high caste, he’s not cull-worthy

His favorite kinds of video games are co-ops and multiplayer games

He lost his left eye to an young troll protecting her lusus when he was eleven sweeps. She burned half his face off and destroyed his eye and even the inside of the socket. It took weeks of care and skin grafts to save his face

He genuinely enjoys DDR (and most rhythm game) soundtracks even though he doesn’t like playing the actual games. However, he does enjoy Friday Night Funkin

Despite being a fish, his favorite animal is domestic cats. He thinks they’re really cute, and he’s a regular at a local cat cafe. His favorite cats are black cats

It might not be easy to pick up on at first, especially since he covers them with his hat, but if Ruvlin really likes someone his fins will twitch when he sees them or talks about them

His favorite types of music are lo-fi and heavy metal

Ruvlin’s a little on the quiet side when he speaks normally, but when he sings he is LOUD. He just fucking belts out notes like you wouldn’t believe. A lot of the time he forgoes using a microphone

Ruvlin wakes up at the same time every night. When he first signed up to become an orphaner, he had to be up at a particular time to report for training. When he was assigned a mentor, they required him to keep his schedule. It’s been nine sweeps since he’s had to be up at that same time, but his body is still wired for it

A bad habit he used to have is smoking. He was really stressed out and wanted something that would take the edge off without clouding up his judgement or inhibitions like alcohol. However, after about three sweeps, he decided “fuck this noise” and decided to quit.

#Ruvlin Descur

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makistar2018 · 5 years

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Taylor Swift on Sexism, Scrutiny, and Standing Up for Herself

AUGUST 8, 2019 By ABBY AGUIRRE Photographed by INEZ AND VINOODH

Cover Look Taylor Swift wears a Louis Vuitton jumpsuit. Rings by Cartier and Bvlgari. To get this look, try: Dream Urban Cover in Classic Ivory, Fit Me Blush in Pink, Tattoostudio Sharpenable Gel Pencil Longwear Eyeliner Makeup in Deep Onyx, The Colossal Mascara, Brow Ultra Slim in Blonde, and Shine Compulsion by Color Sensational Lipstick in Undressed Pink. All by Maybelline New York. Hair, Christiaan; makeup, Fulvia Farolfi. Fashion Editor: Tonne Goodman

Photographed by Inez & Vinoodh, Vogue, September 2019

I have a sliver of an idea what to expect. A few weeks earlier, I spent a day at the video shoot, in a dusty field-slash-junkyard north of Los Angeles. Swift had made it a sort of Big Gay Candy Mountain trailer park, a Technicolor happy place. The cast and crew wore heart-shaped sunglasses—living, breathing lovey-eyes emoji—and a mailbox warned, LOVE LETTERS ONLY.

Swift and a stream of costars filmed six scenes over about a dozen hours. The singer-songwriter Hayley Kiyoko, known to her fans as “Lesbian Jesus,” shot arrows at a bull’s-eye. The YouTube comedian-chef Hannah Hart danced alongside Dexter Mayfield, the plus-size male model and self-described “big boy in heels.” The Olympic figure skater Adam Rippon served up icy red snow cones. Swift and her close friend Todrick Hall, of Kinky Boots and RuPaul’s Drag Race, sipped tea with the cast of Queer Eye.

Speak Now “Rights are being stripped from basically everyone who isn’t a straight white cisgender male,” Swift says. Celine coat. Dior shoes. Fashion Editor: Tonne Goodman. Photographed by Inez & Vinoodh, Vogue, September 2019

The mood was joyous and laid-back. But by the end of the day, I wasn’t sure what the vignettes would add up to. There were shoot days and cameos I wouldn’t observe. For security reasons, the song was never played aloud. (The cast wore ear buds.) Even the hero shot, in which Swift and Hall sauntered arm in arm through the dreamscape at golden hour, was filmed in near-total silence.

For weeks afterward, I tried to sleuth out a theory. I started casually. There was a “5” on the bull’s-eye, so I did a quick search to figure out what that number might mean. Immediately I was in over my head.

Swift has a thing for symbols. I knew she had been embedding secret messages in liner notes and deploying metaphors as refrains since her self-titled debut in 2006—long before her megafame made her into a symbol of pop supremacy. But I hadn’t understood how coded and byzantine her body of work has become; I hadn’t learned, as Swift’s fans have, to see hidden meanings everywhere. For instance: In the 2017 video for “Look What You Made Me Do,” a headstone in a graveyard scene reads NILS SJOBERG, the pseudonym Swift used as her writing credit on Rihanna’s hit “This Is What You Came For,” a Swedish-sounding nod to that country’s pop wizards.

After an excessive amount of ad hoc scholarship—a friend joked that I could have learned Mandarin in the time I spent trying to unpack Swift’s oeuvre—I was no closer to a theory. Pop music has become so layered and meta, but the Taylor Swift Universe stands apart. Apprehending it is like grasping quantum physics.

My first indication of what her new album, Lover, would be about came just after midnight on June 1, the beginning of Pride Month, when Swift introduced a petition in support of the federal Equality Act. This legislation would amend the Civil Rights Act to outlaw discrimination based on gender identity and sexual orientation. (It has passed the House, but prospects in Mitch McConnell’s Senate are unclear.) Swift also posted a letter to Senator Lamar Alexander, Republican of Tennessee, asking him to vote yes. The request, on her personal letterhead (born in 1989. LOVES CATS.), denounced President Trump for not supporting the Equality Act. “I personally reject the president’s stance,” Swift wrote.

Back in the kitchen, Swift hits play. “The first verse is about trolls and cancel culture,” she says. “The second verse is about homophobes and the people picketing outside our concerts. The third verse is about successful women being pitted against each other.”

The video is, for erudite Swifties, a rich text. I had followed enough clues to correctly guess some of the other cameos—Ellen DeGeneres, RuPaul, Katy Perry. I felt the satisfaction of a gamer who successfully levels up—achievement unlocked!The video’s final frame sends viewers to Swift’s change.org petition in support of the Equality Act, which has acquired more than 400,000 signatures—including those of Cory Booker, Elizabeth Warren, Beto O’Rourke, and Kirsten Gillibrand—or four times the number required to elicit an official response from the White House.

“MAYBE A YEAR OR TWO AGO, Todrick and I are in the car, and he asked me, What would you do if your son was gay?”

We are upstairs in Swift’s secret garden, comfortably ensconced in a human-scale basket that is sort of shaped like a cocoon. Swift has brought up an ornate charcuterie board and is happily slathering triple-cream Brie onto sea-salt crackers. “The fact that he had to ask me . . . shocked me and made me realize that I had not made my position clear enough or loud enough,” she says. “If my son was gay, he’d be gay. I don’t understand the question.”

I have pressed Swift on this topic, and her answers have been direct, not performative or scripted. I do sense that she enjoys talking to me about as much as she’d enjoy a root canal—but she’s unfailingly polite, and when we turn to music, her face will light up and she will add little melodic phrases to her speech, clearly her preferred language.

Balancing Act Later this year, Swift will appear in the film adaptation of Cats—as the flirtatious Bombalurina. Givenchy dress. Bracelets by John Hardy, David Yurman, and Hoorsenbuhs. Photographed by Inez & Vinoodh, Vogue, September 2019

“If he was thinking that, I can’t imagine what my fans in the LGBTQ community might be thinking,” she goes on. “It was kind of devastating to realize that I hadn’t been publicly clear about that.”

I understand why she was surprised; she has been sending pro-LGBTQ signals since at least 2011. Many have been subtle, but none insignificant—especially for a young country star coming out of Nashville.

In the video for her single “Mean” (from 2010’s Speak Now), we see a boy in a school locker room wearing a lavender sweater and bow tie, surrounded by football players. In “Welcome to New York,” the first track on 1989, she sings, “And you can want who you want. Boys and boys and girls and girls.” Two years later, she donated to a fund for the newly created Stonewall National Monument and presented Ruby Rose with a GLAAD Media Award. Every night of last year’s Reputation tour, she dedicated the song “Dress” to Loie Fuller, the openly gay pioneer of modern dance and theatrical lighting who captured the imagination of fin-de-siècle Paris.

Swift, who has been criticized for keeping her politics to herself, first took an explicit stance a month before the 2018 midterms. On Instagram, she endorsed Democrats for the Tennessee Legislature and called out the Republican running for Senate, Marsha Blackburn. “She believes businesses have a right to refuse service to gay couples,” Swift wrote. “She also believes they should not have the right to marry. These are not MY Tennessee values.”

Swift says the post was partly to help young fans understand that if they wanted to vote, they had to register. To tell them, as she puts it, “Hey, just so you know, you can’t just roll up.” Some 65,000 new voters registered in the first 24 hours after her post, according to Vote.org.

Trump came to Blackburn’s defense the following day. “She’s a tremendous woman,” he told reporters. “I’m sure Taylor Swift doesn’t know anything about her. Let’s say I like Taylor’s music about 25 percent less now, OK?”

In April, spurred by a raft of anti-LGBTQ bills in Tennessee, Swift donated $113,000 to the Tennessee Equality Project, which advocates for LGBTQ rights. “Horrendous,” she says of the legislation. “They don’t call it ‘Slate of Hate’ for nothing.” Swift especially liked that the Tennessee Equality Project had organized a petition of faith leaders in opposition. “I loved how smart it was to come at it from a religious perspective.”

Meanwhile, the “Calm Down” video provoked a Colorado pastor to call Swift “a sinner in desperate need of a savior” and warn that “God will cut her down.” It also revived heated debate within LGBTQ communities about the politics of allyship and corporatization of Pride. Some critics argued Swift’s pro-LGBTQ imagery and lyrics were overdue and out of the blue—a reaction the new Swift scholar in me found bewildering. Had they not been paying attention?

Nor did it strike me as out of character for Swift to leverage her power for a cause. She pulled her catalog from Spotify in 2014 over questions of artist compensation. She stared down Apple in 2015, when the company said it would not pay artists during the launch of its music service. (Apple reversed itself immediately.) As a condition of her record deal with Universal Music Group last year, the company promised that it would distribute proceeds from any sale of its Spotify shares to all of its artists. And this summer, Swift furiously called out Scott Borchetta, founder of Big Machine Label Group, for selling her master recordings to the music manager Scooter Braun. (When I ask Swift if she tried to get her masters from Big Machine, her whole body slumps with a palpable heaviness. “It was either investing in my past or my and other artists’ future, and I chose the future,” she says of the deal she struck with Universal.)

Swift’s blunt testimony during her 2017 sexual-assault case against a radio DJ—months before the #MeToo reckoning blew open—felt deeply political to me and, I imagine, many other women. Swift accused the DJ, David Mueller, of groping her under her skirt at a photo session in 2013. Her camp reported the incident to his employer, who fired him. Mueller denied the allegation, sued Swift for $3 million, and his case was thrown out. Swift countersued for a symbolic $1 and won.

Watch Taylor Swift Take Over Go Ask Anna:

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In a Colorado courtroom, Swift described the incident: “He stayed latched onto my bare ass cheek” as photos were being snapped. Asked why photos of the front of her skirt didn’t show this, she said, “Because my ass is located at the back of my body.” Asked if she felt bad about the DJ’s losing his job, she said, “I’m not going to let you or your client make me feel in any way that this is my fault. Here we are years later, and I’m being blamed for the unfortunate events of his life that are the product of his decisions—not mine.”

When Time included Swift on the cover of its “Silence Breakers” issue that year, the magazine asked how she felt during the testimony. “I was angry,” she said. “In that moment, I decided to forgo any courtroom formalities and just answer the questions the way it happened...I’m told it was the most amount of times the word ass has ever been said in Colorado Federal Court.”

Mueller has since paid Swift the dollar—with a Sacagawea coin. “He was trolling me, implying that I was self-righteous and hell-bent on angry, vengeful feminism. That’s what I’m inferring from him giving me a Sacagawea coin,” Swift says. “Hey, maybe he was trying to do it in honor of a powerful Native American woman. I didn’t ask.” Where is the coin now? “My lawyer has it.”

I ask her, why get louder about LGBTQ rights now? “Rights are being stripped from basically everyone who isn’t a straight white cisgender male,” she says. “I didn’t realize until recently that I could advocate for a community that I’m not a part of. It’s hard to know how to do that without being so fearful of making a mistake that you just freeze. Because my mistakes are very loud. When I make a mistake, it echoes through the canyons of the world. It’s clickbait, and it’s a part of my life story, and it’s a part of my career arc.”

I’d argue that no heterosexual woman can listen to “You Need to Calm Down” and hear only a gay anthem. “Calm down” is what controlling men tell women who are angry, contrary, or “hysterical,” or, let’s say, fearing for their physical safety. It is what Panic! at the Disco singer Brendon Urie says to Swift in the beginning of the “ME!” music video, prompting her to scream, “Je suis calme!”

I cannot believe it is a coincidence that Swift, a numbers geek with an affinity for dates, dropped the single—whose slow, incessant bass is likely to be bumping in stadiums across the world in 2020 if she goes on tour—on June 14, a certain president’s birthday.

IT'S ENLIGHTENING to read 13 years of Taylor Swift coverage—all the big reviews, all the big profiles—in one sitting. You notice things.

How quickly Swift went from a “prodigy” (The New Yorker) and a “songwriting savant” (Rolling Stone) to a tabloid fixture, for instance. Or how suspect her ambition is made to seem once she acquires real power.

Other plot points simply look different in the light of #MeToo. It is hard to imagine that Swift’s songs about her exes would be reviewed as sensationally today. I wonder if, in 2019, any man would dare grab the microphone out of a young woman’s hands at an awards show. I stared into space for a good long while when I was reminded that Pitchfork did not review Taylor Swift’s 1989 but did review Ryan Adams’s cover album of Taylor Swift’s 1989.

I ask Swift if she had always been aware of sexism. “I think about this a lot,” she says. “When I was a teenager, I would hear people talk about sexism in the music industry, and I’d be like, I don’t see it. I don’t understand. Then I realized that was because I was a kid. Men in the industry saw me as a kid. I was a lanky, scrawny, overexcited young girl who reminded them more of their little niece or their daughter than a successful woman in business or a colleague. The second I became a woman, in people’s perception, was when I started seeing it.

“It’s fine to infantilize a girl’s success and say, How cute that she’s having some hit songs,” she goes on. “How cute that she’s writing songs. But the second it becomes formidable? As soon as I started playing stadiums—when I started to look like a woman—that wasn’t as cool anymore. It was when I started to have songs from Red come out and cross over, like ‘I Knew You Were Trouble’ and ‘We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.’ ”

Those songs are also more assertive than the ones that came before, I say. “Yeah, the angle was different when I started saying, I knew you were trouble when you walked in. Basically, you emotionally manipulated me and I didn’t love it. That wasn’t fun for me.”

I have to wonder if having her songwriting overlooked as her hits were picked apart and scrutinized wasn’t the biggest bummer of all. Swift: “I wanted to say to people, You realize writing songs is an art and a craft and not, like, an easy thing to do? Or to do well? People would act like it was a weapon I was using. Like a cheap dirty trick. Be careful, bro, she’ll write a song about you. Don’t stand near her. First of all, that’s not how it works. Second of all, find me a time when they say that about a male artist: Be careful, girl, he’ll use his experience with you to get—God forbid—inspiration to make art.”

Without question the tenor of the Taylor Swift Narrative changed most dramatically in July 2016, when Kim Kardashian West called her a “snake” on Twitter, and released video clips of Swift and Kanye West discussing the lyrics to his song “Famous.” (No need to rehash the details here. Suffice it to say that Swift’s version of events hasn’t changed: She knew about some of the lyrics but not others; specifically, the words that bitch.) The posts sparked several hashtags, including #TaylorSwiftIsASnake and #TaylorSwiftIsCanceled, which quickly escalated into a months-long campaign to “cancel” Swift.

To this day Swift doesn’t think people grasp the repercussions of that term. “A mass public shaming, with millions of people saying you are quote-unquote canceled, is a very isolating experience,” she says. “I don’t think there are that many people who can actually understand what it’s like to have millions of people hate you very loudly.” She adds: “When you say someone is canceled, it’s not a TV show. It’s a human being. You’re sending mass amounts of messaging to this person to either shut up, disappear, or it could also be perceived as, Kill yourself.”

An overhaul was in order. “I realized I needed to restructure my life because it felt completely out of control,” Swift says. “I knew immediately I needed to make music about it because I knew it was the only way I could survive it. It was the only way I could preserve my mental health and also tell the story of what it’s like to go through something so humiliating.”

State of Grace Dior bodysuit and skirt. Photographed by Inez & Vinoodh, Vogue, September 2019

I get a sense of the whiplash Swift experienced when I notice that, a few months into this ordeal, while she was writing the songs that would become her album Reputation—and fighting off Mueller’s lawsuit—a portion of the media and internet began demanding to know why she hadn’t un-canceled herself long enough to take a position in the presidential election.

On that: “Unfortunately in the 2016 election you had a political opponent who was weaponizing the idea of the celebrity endorsement. He was going around saying, I’m a man of the people. I’m for you. I care about you. I just knew I wasn’t going to help. Also, you know, the summer before that election, all people were saying was She’s calculated. She’s manipulative. She’s not what she seems. She’s a snake. She’s a liar. These are the same exact insults people were hurling at Hillary. Would I be an endorsement or would I be a liability? Look, snakes of a feather flock together. Look, the two lying women. The two nasty women. Literally millions of people were telling me to disappear. So I disappeared. In many senses.”

Swift previewed Reputation in August 2017 with “Look What You Made Me Do.” The single came with a lyric video whose central image was an ouroboros—a snake swallowing its own tail, an ancient symbol for continual renewal. Swift wiped her social-media feeds clean and began posting video snippets of a slithering snake. The song was pure bombast and high camp. (Lest there be any doubt, the chorus was an interpolation of a ’90s camp classic, Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy.”) Nonetheless, most critics read it as a grenade lobbed in the general direction of Calabasas.

One longtime Nashville critic, Brian Mansfield, had a more plausible take: She was writing sarcastically as the “Taylor Swift” portrayed in the media in a bid for privacy. “Yeah, this is the character you created for me, let me just hide behind it,” she says now of the persona she created. “I always used this metaphor when I was younger. I’d say that with every reinvention, I never wanted to tear down my house. ’Cause I built this house. This house being, metaphorically, my body of work, my songwriting, my music, my catalog, my library. I just wanted to redecorate. I think a lot of people, with Reputation, would have perceived that I had torn down the house. Actually, I just built a bunker around it.”

IN MARCH, the snakes started to morph into butterflies, the vampire color palette into Easter pastels. When a superbloom of wildflowers lured a mesmerizing deluge of Painted Lady butterflies to Los Angeles, Swift marked it with an Instagram post. She attended the iHeartRadio Music Awards that night in a sequin romper and stilettos with shimmery wings attached.

Swift announced the single “ME!” a month later, with a large butterfly mural in Nashville. In the music video for the (conspicuously) bubblegum song, a hissing pastel-pink snake explodes into a kaleidoscope of butterflies. One flutters by the window of an apartment, where Swift is arguing in French with Urie. A record player is playing in the background. “It’s an old-timey, 1940s-sounding instrumental version of ‘You Need to Calm Down,’ ’’ Swift says. Later, in the “Calm Down” video, Swift wears a (fake) back tattoo of a snake swarmed by butterflies.

We are only two songs in, people. Lover, to be released on August 23, will have a total of 18 songs. “I was compiling ideas for a very long time,” Swift says. “When I started writing, I couldn’t stop.” (We can assume the British actor Joe Alwyn, with whom Swift has been in a relationship for nearly three years, provided some of the inspiration.)

Swift thinks Lover might be her favorite album yet. “There are so many ways in which this album feels like a new beginning,” she says. “This album is really a love letter to love, in all of its maddening, passionate, exciting, enchanting, horrific, tragic, wonderful glory.”

In Focus Swift’s new 18-track album, Lover, will be released August 23. Hermès shirt. Chanel pants. Maximum Henry belt. Photographed by Inez & Vinoodh, Vogue, September 2019

I have to ask Swift, given how genuinely at peace she seems, if part of her isn’t thankful, if not for the Great Cancellation of 2016, then for the person she now is—knowing who her friends are, knowing what’s what. “When you’re going through loss or embarrassment or shame, it’s a grieving process with so many micro emotions in a day. One of the reasons why I didn’t do interviews for Reputationwas that I couldn’t figure out how I felt hour to hour. Sometimes I felt like: All these things taught me something that I never could have learned in a way that didn’t hurt as much. Five minutes later, I’d feel like: That was horrible. Why did that have to happen? What am I supposed to take from this other than mass amounts of humiliation? And then five minutes later I’d think: I think I might be happier than I’ve ever been.”

She goes on: “It’s so strange trying to be self-aware when you’ve been cast as this always smiling, always happy ‘America’s sweetheart’ thing, and then having that taken away and realizing that it’s actually a great thing that it was taken away, because that’s extremely limiting.” Swift leans back in the cocoon and smiles: “We’re not going to go straight to gratitude with it. Ever. But we’re going to find positive aspects to it. We’re never going to write a thank-you note.”

Though people will take the Perry-Swift burger-and-fries embrace in the “You Need to Calm Down” video as a press release that the two have mended fences, Swift says it’s actually a comment on how the media pits female pop stars against one another. After Perry sent Swift an (actual) olive branch last year, Swift asked her to be in the video: “She wrote back, This makes me so emotional. I’m so up for this. I want us to be that example. But let’s spend some time together. Because I want it to be real. So she came over and we talked for hours.

“We decided the metaphor for what happens in the media,” Swift explains, “is they pick two people and it’s like they’re pouring gasoline all over the floor. All that needs to happen is one false move, one false word, one misunderstanding, and a match is lit and dropped. That’s what happened with us. It was: Who’s better? Katy or Taylor? Katy or Taylor? Katy or Taylor? Katy or Taylor? The tension is so high that it becomes impossible for you to not think that the other person has something against you."

Meanwhile, the protesters in the video reference a real-life religious group that pickets outside Swift’s concerts, not the white working class in general, as some have assumed. “So many artists have them at their shows, and it’s such a confounding, confusing, infuriating thing to have outside of joyful concerts,” she tells me. “Obviously I don’t want to mention the actual entity, because they would get excited about that. Giving them press is not on my list of priorities.”

At one point, Swift asks if I would like to hear two other songs off the new album. (Duh.) First she plays “Lover,” the title track, coproduced by Jack Antonoff. “This has one of my favorite bridges,” she says. “I love a bridge, and I was really able to go to Bridge City.” It’s a romantic, haunting, waltzy, singer-songwritery nugget: classic Swift. “My heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue,” she sings. “All’s well that ends well to end up with you.”

Next, Swift cues up a track that “plays with the idea of perception.” She has often wondered how she would be written and spoken about if she were a man, “so I wrote a song called ‘The Man.’ ” It’s a thought experiment of sorts: “If I had made all the same choices, all the same mistakes, all the same accomplishments, how would it read?” Seconds later, Swift’s earpods are pumping a synth-pop earworm into my head: “I’d be a fearless leader. I’d be an alpha type. When everyone believes ya: What’s that like?”

Swift wrote the first two singles with Joel Little, best known as one of Lorde’s go-to producers. (“From a pop-songwriting point of view, she’s the pinnacle,” Little says of Swift.) The album is likely to include more marquee names. A portrait of the Dixie Chicks in the background of the “ME!” video almost certainly portends a collaboration. If fans are correctly reading a button affixed to her denim jacket in a recent magazine cover, we can expect one with Drake, too.

Eyes On Her Designer Stella McCartney on her friendship with Swift: “In London we’ll go on walks and talk about everything—life and love.” Stella McCartney coat. In this story: hair, Christiaan; makeup, Fulvia Farolfi. Photographed by Inez & Vinoodh, Vogue, September 2019

She recently announced a fashion collection with Stella McCartney to coincide with Lover. “We met at one of her shows,” says McCartney, “and then we had a girls’ night and kind of jumped straight in. In London we’ll go on walks and talk about everything—life and love.” (Swift has no further fashion ambitions at the moment. “I really love my job right now,” she tells me. “My focus is on music.”) Oh, and that “5” on the bullseye? Track five is called “The Archer.”

Yet something tells me the most illuminating clue for reading both Lover and Reputation may be Loie Fuller, the dancer to whom Swift paid homage on tour. As Swift noted on a Jumbotron, Fuller “fought for artists to own their work.” Fuller also used swirling fabric and colored lights to metamorphose onstage, playing a “hide-and-seek illusionist game” with her audience, as one writer has put it. She became a muse to the Symbolists in Paris, where Jean Cocteau wrote that she created “the phantom of an era.” The effect, said the poet Stéphane Mallarmé, was a “dizziness of soul made visible by an artifice.” Fuller’s most famous piece was “Serpentine Dance.” Another was “Butterfly Dance.”

SWIFT HAS HAD almost no downtime since late 2017, but what little she does have is divided among New York, Nashville, Los Angeles, and Rhode Island, where she keeps homes—plus London. In an essay earlier this year, she revealed that her mother, Andrea Swift, is fighting cancer for a second time. “There was a relapse that happened,” Swift says, declining to go into detail. “It’s something that my family is going through.”

Later this year, she will star in a film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Catsas Bombalurina, the flirtatious red cat. “They made us the size of cats by making the furniture bigger,” she says. “You’d be standing there and you could barely reach the seat of a chair. It was phenomenal. It made you feel like a little kid.”

But first, she will spend much of the summer holding “secret sessions”—a tradition wherein Swift invites hundreds of fans to her various homes to preview her new music. “They’ve never given me a reason to stop doing it,” she says. “Not a single one.”

Speaking of: Inquiring fans will want to know if Swift dropped any more clues about how to decode Lover during this interview. For you I reviewed the audio again, and there were a few things that made my newly acquired Swifty sense tingle.

At one point she compared superstardom in the digital age to life in a dollhouse, one where voyeurs “can ‘ship’ you with who they want to ‘ship’ you with, and they can ‘favorite’ friends that you have, and they can know where you are all the time.” The metaphor was precise and vivid and, well, a little too intricately rendered to be off the cuff. (Also, the “ME!” lyric: “Baby doll, when it comes to a lover. I promise that you’ll never find another like me.”)

Then there was the balloon—a giant gold balloon in the shape of a numeral seven that happened to float by while we were on her roof, on this, the occasion of her seventh album. “Is it an L’?” I say. “No, because look, the string is hanging from the bottom,” she says.

It might seem an obvious symbolic gesture, deployed for this interview, except for how impossible that seems. Swift let me control the timing of nearly everything. Moreover, the gold seven wasn’t floating up from the sidewalk below. It was already high in the sky, drifting slowly toward us from down the street. She would have had to control the wind, or at least to have studied it. Would Taylor Swift really go to such elaborate lengths for her fans? This much I know: Yes, she would.

Taylor Swift Talks Googling Herself, Which Celebrity's Closet She'd Raid, and the Bravest Thing She's Ever Done:

youtube

Vogue

#taylor swift #vogue #september #2019 #cover girl

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hearyourheart · 5 years

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Taylor Swift on Sexism, Scrutiny, and Standing Up for Herself

“Maybe a year or two ago, Todrick and I are in the car, and he asked me, What would you do if your son was gay?”

It’s enlightening to read 13 years of Taylor Swift coverage—all the big reviews, all the big profiles—in one sitting. You notice things.

I get a sense of the whiplash Swift experienced when I notice that, a few months into this ordeal, while she was writing the songs that an interpolation of a ’90s camp classic, Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy.”) Nonetheless, most critics read it as a grenade lobbed in the general direction of Calabasas.

In March, the snakes started to morph into butterflies, the vampire color palette into Easter pastels. When a superbloom of wildflowers lured a mesmerizing deluge of Painted Lady butterflies to Los Angeles, Swift marked it with an Instagram post. She attended the iHeartRadio Music Awards that night in a sequin romper and stilettos with shimmery wings attached.

Swift’s new 18-track album, Lover, will be released August 23.

Swift has had almost no downtime since late 2017, but what little she does have is divided among New York, Nashville, Los Angeles, and Rhode Island, where she keeps homes—plus London. In an essay earlier this year, she revealed that her mother, Andrea Swift, is fighting cancer for a second time. “There was a relapse that happened,” Swift says, declining to go into detail. “It’s something that my family is going through.”

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sunnydaleherald · 5 years

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The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Sunday, December 9

WILLOW: Care package! Special delivery for the Summers girls. (Puts the bag on the bed next to Joyce. Dawn comes running over, as Buffy follows more slowly) Now, let's see what I have in this sack of mine. Oh, I feel just like Santa Claus, except thinner and younger and female and, well, Jewish.

~~Listening to Fear~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

All Is Calm (Spike, T) by joycometh

And Ice For Your Wounded Heart (Xander/Spike/Drusilla, E) by scarecrow_horses

The Last Chance (Lorne, Lindsey, T) by Cat2000

Day 4: Road Trip (Willow/Tara, T) by DadIWriteGayPorn

Precipitation (Cordelia/Faith, T) by gracenm

Brother (Riley/Reader, not rated) by Charlotte

Snow (Tara/Reader, not rated) by Charlotte

[Chaptered Fiction]

Unexpected Assignment, Chapters 1-2 (Lydia, Spike, T, COMPLETE) by Hello_Spikey

La fin des temps, Chapter 24 (Buffy/Spike, PG, in French) by Miss Kitty

Chains and Champions, Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, R) by booklover721

Out of Time, Chapter 3 (Buffy/Spike, R) by joycometh

[Images, Audio & Video]

Icons: Willow/Tara, Willow, Willow/Buffy by bitemyhip

Artwork: Buffy screenshots meet Night Vale tweets by thenewbuzwuzz

Artwork: Buffy by astro-zombie-rotting-off

Video: Why Willow Rosenberg is a Scorpio by Caitlin Bloody Mary

Animation: The Gentlemen by TheFilmCan

[Reviews & Recaps]

PODCAST: Character Chat: Spike by The Sunnydale Fanfic Club

PODCAST: 706 – Him by Buffy Speak

[Community Announcements]

IWRY Marathon 2018: Master List (Bangel fic) by iwillrememberyoumarathon

[Fandom Discussions]

Re: the Spike episode of the Sunnydale Fanfic Club podcast by hannah

Vampire Ball Report II by trepkos

More Links Than A Bag Of Sausages (recs) by petzipellepingo

Spike/Drusilla vid recs by cornerofmadness

Fanfic Rec: Lone Flower by madimpossibledreamer

Re: If you could rewrite any Bangel scene which one would be? by we-pay-for-everything

Let’s talk about color palette! by goingrampant

Re: Satsu and Buffy 100% should have been given more time in the comics by slytherincarmilla

Re: Hush or Once More With Feeling? by myst-l-vie

What about the the academic side of vampires? by life-is-chasefield

Re: Buffy/Wood by nihilistic-creep

Buffy & Angel eps ranked together hosted by Dennis

When Is Homicide justified- Buffy trying to kill Faith, Giles killing Ben, etc. by Multiple participants

Why isn't Rack the line that Willow can't cross? hosted by ghoststar

BtVS top ten: #7: "The Prom" hosted by ghoststar

Significant times in Angel involving rain hosted by kindashewantsto

Passion S2 E17 hosted by HeyFuckMeUpButterCup

One of my favourite Buffy quotes hosted by Bazoh

Discussion of Buffy on Facebook Watch hosted by AndrewHeard

Does anyone know if there's a title for the ending music to "Showtime"? by HaloInsider

Once More With Feeling. Anya’s pajamas. I want them by perpetual_fail

Favorite Big Bad? hosted by martinezz29

Glory and Ben hosted by ethanclsn

Cordelia, such a diva. Falling for "losers"... why? by CaViCcHi

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

VARIETY: Do TV Shows Not Work on Social? Facebook Gets Less Than 600,000 Views for ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ in First Week by Todd Spangler

THE STUDENT: Throwback: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Incels by Duncan Brown

#btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #ats #angel the series #fan art #meta #fanfiction

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ukdamo · 3 years

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FIST

Hannah Lowe

When my brother put his fist through a window

on New Year’s Eve, no one noticed until a cold draught

cooled our bodies dancing. There was rainbow light

from a disco ball, silver tinsel round the pictures.

My brother held his arm out to us, palm

upturned, a foot high spray of blood.

This was Ilford, Essex, 1993, nearly midnight,

us all smashed on booze and Ecstasy and Danny,

6 foot 5, folding at the knee, a shiny fin of glass

wedged in his wrist. We walked him to the kitchen,

the good arm slung on someone’s neck,

Gary shouting Danny, Darren phoning

for an ambulance, the blood was everywhere. I pressed

a towel across the wound, around the glass

and led him by the hand into the garden, he stumbled

down into the snow, slurring leave it out and I’m OK.

A girl was crying in the doorway, the music carried on,

the bass line thumping as we stood around my brother,

Gary talking gently saying easy fella, Darren

draining Stella in one hand and in the other, holding up

my brother’s arm, wet and red, the veins stood out

like branches. I thought that he was dying,

out there in the snow and I got down, I knelt there

on the ice and held my brother, who I never touched

and never told I loved, and even then I couldn’t say it

so I listened to the incantation easy fella

and my brother’s breathing,

felt him rolling forward, all that weight, Darren

throwing down his can and yelling Danny, don’t you dare

and shaking him. My brother’s face was grey,

his lips were loose and pale and I

was praying. Somewhere in the street,

there was a siren, there was a girl inside

who blamed herself, there were men with blankets

and a tourniquet, they stopped my brother bleeding,

as the New Year turned, they saved him,

snow was falling hard, they saved us all.

#poetry #fist #hanna lowe #injury #999 #new year's eve #party #blood #life-threatening #hypovolemic shock

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littlenancydrewthings · 7 years

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#cluecrewquestionnaire

No one tagged me but I want to do it sooooo

rules: copy and paste, answer the questions, tag 10 people to do the same!

1. What is your favorite Nancy Drew game and why?

ASH 5ever, for reasons I’ve already subjected you to endless gushing about over the years. SHA, because I’m from/in soulmates with the Southwest (the same part of Arizona, actually) and the game captures it perfectly, and is perfect in every other way. MHM, because you can’t beat a quintessential haunted Victorian, and for nostalgia reasons mentioned below.

2. Have you played all 32 games in the series? If not, which ones haven’t you played? If yes, which one did you play first?

All except the original Secrets Can Kill. My first was MHM in 2001. I’d read some of the books, and I’ve always been intensely obsessed with ghosts and mysteries in general, so the title and cover caught my eye at the store. The screenshots in the fold-out cover with their eerie captions captured my imagination. After that it was all I could think about. I talked about it every day for weeks, until eventually I came home from playing and found it sitting on my bed. We couldn’t afford it and I didn’t really expect to get it, so I was beyond excited. Playing in the dark that night was magical. Now I hunt ghosts in Gettysburg with access to an endless supply of haunted houses, but the Golden Gardenia is my favorite.

3. What is your favorite quote from any character in the series?

“It’ll be brief, painful, and full of garbage, but that’s life, isn’t it?” “It’s good to know you’re keeping the mean streets of Pancake City free from crime!” Everything Alexei says.

4. If you could change the ending to any game, which one would it be (no spoilers, though)?

The Silent Spy would have a satisfying ending that did justice to the deep and complex story it had up until then, instead of the rushed, haphazard nonsense we got.

5. Which game is your least favorite, and why?

MED is possibly the absolute worst, for too many reasons to unpack in a paragraph.

6. Which character is your favorite? Why?

do I even need to say it

7. Which character is your least favorite? Why?

Rick Arlen and Tino Balducci. I’ve had to deal with so many of that brand of sleazebag in real life, they make my blood boil. Not in a good way, like how Toni Scallari and Brenda Carlton are entertaining to interact with while being horribly repugnant.

8. How do you feel about the whole Nancy/Ned vs. Nancy/Frank situation? Do you ship her with someone else? Who, and why?

I don’t think Nancy is particularly interested in either of them, or in settling down at all. To be honest, I like the idea of Nancy casually hooking up with hot people she meets on cases, then dashing. I’m especially fond of the idea of her and Zoe having an ongoing rivals-with-benefits thing.

9. Do you have any fun headcanons about any of the games or characters?

Until we met him in person, I used to headcanon that the reason we could never quite catch up with Sonny Joon was because he was on the space station. Jamila blogs about classic sci-fi. My crack headcanon about Alexei being a serial killer is a running joke among my entire household. And in my mind, practically every character is queer.

10. If you could visit any of the game locations, which ones and why?

Japan is my #1 travel goal, so the Ryokan Hiei would be first. I would love to be in Nancy’s shoes when there are no other guests left and she has the whole place to herself. Iceland is my #2 travel goal. I’d own the Golden Gardenia, because it ticks every box on my ultimate fantasy home checklist. I'd spend a couple days at Thornton Hall with my ghost hunting squad. I’d deliberately book a room at Wickford Castle when there was a snowstorm forecast, and do exactly what you do in the game. Shadow Ranch, because out in the middle of the Southwest desert is my place. Alexei’s shop, where we would complain for hours while I bought everything in sight.

11. Did you read any of the original Nancy Drew books? If yes, do you like them? If no, would you consider reading one?

Yeah, I started reading them shortly before I discovered the games. They have that old-fashioned charm, and I enjoy the detailed descriptions of Nancy’s outfits and Hannah’s meals. But they’re also super formulaic and frequently racist. Most of my favorite books are more recent. I particularly love Lights, Camera... and the sequel Action! They’re begging to be adapted for a game.

12. What is one thing any good detective can’t live without?

I’m gonna copy and paste what @nancydrewcomplex said, because it’s on point... “A smartphone for taking notes, allowing friends to find your location when you are inevitably kidnapped or entombed, social media stalking your suspects, some quick research, and most importantly the camera for swiftly taking pictures of evidence and journal pages and things you otherwise can’t risk taking the time to read at that very moment.”

13. Which game had the best soundtrack?

CLK’s use of the 1930s sound is 👌👌👌 FIN's music couldn’t be more perfect for a darkened historic theater. It’s mysterious, magical and haunting, like remnants of the music that played in the theater during its 1910s heyday. I love how CAR has carousel music not just on the ride itself, but worked into the many of the songs. Sometimes it’s creepy, sometimes dreamy, like the ballroom theme, which evokes ghostly ladies and gentlemen waltzing around the haunted house that was once the Galaxy Ballroom. And of course, MHM’s soundtrack is a classic. It captures the feeling that the mansion is an isolated bubble of its own history and secrets, unconcerned with the world passing by outside. I love that each room has its own theme, like characters, from the eerily faded saloon music in the basement to the Chinese room to the dark, forgotten sound of the attic.

14. What is one thing you wish HER would’ve included in any of the games (a conversation, interaction, location, feature, etc)?

More recurring characters. So many of them are way too great to only use once. Also more background on everyone. A big part of the reason I love Alexei so much is that he’s one of the few characters we get extensive background details on.

15. Do you have any ideas for a future game? What is it?

Tons! I’ve posted a couple, with plans for many more.

16. How long does it take you to finish a game from start to finish?

Depending on how many times I’ve played it, anywhere from two to eight hours. Hard to fathom now that my first playthrough of MHM took months. I didn’t yet have the internet to find a walkthrough and would put it aside for awhile when I got really stuck.

17. Did any of the games scare you? If yes, which ones? If no, why?

My first time playing MHM, the “I see you” on the stairs scared me so bad that I never used those stairs again, I took the creaky ones every time. The dog attack in Ghost Dogs scared me to death as a kid. Being outside when the howling started and Red saying “get back in the house” was super effective. It’s hard to scare me anymore, yet I dread going near the burned out ruins in GTH. The bad vibes are so oppressive it’s like static electricity.

18. Why did you join the Nancy Drew fandom here on tumblr?

I didn’t know there was one when I started this blog. I’d seen other “_______ things” blogs and kept thinking of Nancy Drew things. I doubted there were any other serious fans, let alone adults, but figured I’d make the blog anyway if only for my own enjoyment. I was thrilled to hit 20 followers. I was totally blindsided by how fast it took off. I’m continuously grateful and amazed by how good my experience of this fandom has been.

19. What is your favorite Nancy Drew joke (from in-game or even floating around the internet)?

I get a kick out of how SPY is the Ascended Meme game. I did not expect how feelsy they managed to make the horse shirt.

20. Who is someone in the clue crew you’ve always wanted to get to know?

Everyone I used to follow has left :’(

21. What are three unpopular opinions you hold about the games?

Ned is annoying and bland af. I don’t mind Fox and Geese. I’m okay with Nancy getting a new voice actress (not that we’ll ever hear her).

22. Do you have any fun theories about any of the games?

I know the dates don’t line up, but I love the theory about Lizzie Applegate and Diego Valdez being Frances and Dirk under new identities. The prop lady is Nancy as an old lady, which is why the prop room is full of souvenirs from her cases. Aunt Eloise writes about Nancy’s adventures under the pen name Carolyn Keene, hence the box of yellow-spined books in her house.

23. Who was your favorite animal character featured in the games?

Iggy with his tiny outfits >w<

24. Do other people in your life know about your love for Nancy Drew?

To know me is to know about it. It’s too important to keep on the DL. And I’ve gotten all my siblings and even an in-law into it, so no one’s judging.

25. How long have you been playing these games?

Since 2001, when I was nine.

Anyone who wants to do this, consider yourself tagged!

#nancy drew #cluecrewquestionnaire #personal

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usersewis · 8 months

Note

RING RING WHY DONT YOU GIVE ME A CALL

me dancing along

#asks #fin 🫧#fin and hannah talks music #abba is our thing

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evenstevensranked · 7 years

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#50: Season 3, Episode 20 - “Surf’s Up”

Recurring character Zack Estrada invites Twitty to go surfing with him and his friends. Out of jealousy, Louis, who was not invited — invites himself.. which causes all sorts of drama. Meanwhile, Ren meets and falls for a guy named Gil who she has reason to believe might be a merman.

Okay, so I just want to start off by saying… a lot of people don’t like this episode. I looked at some old forums from 2000-2006 recently and so many people were like “This episode sucked!” right after it initially aired, lol. I guess I can see why they felt that way, but this episode is actually one of my personal favorites. Why have I ranked it #50 then, you ask? Well, upon re-watching.. it felt a little flat and sort of dragged on. It wasn’t as funny or strong as I remembered, but I still absolutely love the basis for the whole thing. If we’re looking at what I’m basing my rankings on, this one probably meets only 2 of the 6 requirements - “personal favorite” and “quality plot line.” So, now that you know my reasoning... let’s dive in. (Pun intended.)

In the opening scene, we see Louis and Twitty at lunch when *dun dun dunnnn* Zack Estrada calls Twitty over and invites him to go surfing at Troubadour Point. Now, this episode actually marks Zack’s last appearance. So, without getting into detail.. Basically, Louis has always been super jealous of this dude. Like, incredibly jealous. The jealousy dates back to early Season 1 and spans 4 episodes throughout the shows run. I refer to it as The Zack Estrada Saga. And here, it continues. The third to last episode of the series, and he’s still jealous.

I know that feel, Lou.

When Twitty returns to their lunch table he’s talking excitedly about spring break. Which, piggybacking off of what I said last week, is another reason why I fully believe these kids were intended to be high school students. Because, no middle schoolers I know go gallivanting off to the beach unsupervised for spring break, lol. But, hey! Maybe it’s different in 2017. Nah, yeah. Something’s telling me it’s definitely different in 2017. Middle schoolers look and act 25 years old these days, so.

Louis’ jealousy is very evident when he passive aggressively asks Twitty when he started hanging out with Zack and his friends. Twitty says he went surfing with them last spring break while Louis was at a temper tantrum workshop. This is the first funny moment of the episode. Louis responds by screaming at Twitty on the verge of tears, “nOW YOU LISTEN HERE! I EXPRESS MYSELF APPROPRIATELY NOW!” Louis decides to go ahead and invite himself to Troubadour Point even though he has no idea how to surf.

This episode was always somewhat refreshing to me, because it’s one of the only ones where we see our characters in an environment other than their houses or school. That’s something cool about early Disney Channel shows. They weren’t contrived or restricted to a sound stage on a fake beach like Hannah Montana, for example. They’re actually at a real beach and I love it.

They make a point to show Twitty and the owner of the beach shack rub a sacred lucky surf idol tiki thing and say “Pray for waves!” Louis enters the shack with his surfboard (which is bad luck apparently) and knocks over the tiki. Yikes. This reminds me of The Brady Bunch Hawaii episode, lol. I was just waiting for the bad luck music to play. Zack was already a little annoyed when Twitty told him Louis was coming, so now… his dislike for Louis is pretty strong.

Side note: I feel like Disney Channel totally typecast Brandon Baker as that ~ethnic surfer bro.~ For those of you who don’t know or never realized, he also played Johnny Kapahala (a.k.a Johnny Tsunami). I just came across this cute little followup series Disney did with him last year. Side side note: Brandon is actually biracial (white and fillipino) and they portrayed that accurately on screen in the Johnny movies! Random to mention, I know. But I’m biracial so I get oddly happy when I notice this stuff, lol.

There are actually two mini subplots in this episode, which might contribute to its “off”-ness. We have Tom who’s trying to build a perfect sandcastle. And we have Beans who’s metal detecting, but just ends up stealing people’s stuff. Beans really shouldn’t be there. His bit is useless. I understand it was most likely an attempt to get everyone involved in the fun beach location episode.. but, I feel like there might be too many things going on here.

Tawny is sitting by Tom, all covered up from the sun. Tom asks her why she isn’t helping with the sand castle and she’s like “Oh, I’m just waiting for a little more cloud cover.” And, Tom says “Oh. Right. Heaven forbid a ray of sunshine should touch your precious porcelain skin.” Tom is the best. But of course.. Twitty, Zack and the surfer bros go running to the ocean and step all over the castle. Louis is trailing behind them like a lovable uncoordinated doofus and ruins the remainder of it. Tom is so sad. Bless his heart.

Ren, Ruby and Monique are chilling on the beach too when some guys ask them to hang out. Side note: This one dude who Monique runs away with!! I always thought he looked familiar and as I was watching it again today — it hit me! He went on to be a member of fictional boyband Boyz N Motion from That’s So Raven! Omg. I looked it up just to make sure, and I was in fact correct. His name is Michael Copon. So, there’s that.

Ren is on the dock throwing pebbles and shells into the sea when a guy emerges from the water and throws shells back at her, lol ok. The two start talking and she finds out his name is Gil! Yep. THE Gil who breaks her heart in a pancake house in The Even Stevens Movie. Gil swims away, and Ren can’t help but notice the giant glimmering fin that splashes in the water. I’d honestly be a little confused, too.

My inner subconscious Social Justice Warrior came out a bit when Ren sees Monique and Ruby doing their hair and makeup and says “Ah! Makeup and hairspray at the beach. Very nice, girls. I thought you already met some guys.” To which they respond, “Yeah, and we wanna keep them.” NOOOOOO! Sorry. I hate to view things through that lens, but after spending so much time on Tumblr and Twitter (especially in the current climate of the country) it just rubs off on you! Ugh. You can’t escape it! Anyway, Ren tells them about Gil and the whole fin thing and they find it absolutely hilarious.

Out on the ocean, Twitty and Zack’s crew are bummed because there are no waves. Zack angrily says “Pfft! I wonder why…” And gives Louis the nastiest look as he comes paddling up to them all happy. I feel so bad. Zack yells at him for bringing his board into the shack and breaking the lucky surf idol. The gang desert Louis and head back to the beach for lunch. Twitty sides with them saying “sometimes I just need to do my own thing, man” and leaves Louis alone in the middle of the ocean. My poor baby. :(

I will not stand for this! Protect Louis Stevens at all costs.

Louis goes back to the beach and once again walks right through Tom’s sandcastle. Come on, man! You could’ve walked around it, lol. It’s not even like he was running.. he was casually walking. I can’t. He goes to the dock and finds Ren with binoculars looking for Gil. The two of them have a “conversation” that’s not really a conversation. It’s just them going back and forth ranting about their own problems without actually listening to the other. It’s a cute sibling moment, haha. I actually really love Louis and Twitty’s friendship, though. They’re like an old married couple in this episode. I think it’s adorable. During this scene Louis is so fed up with Twitty ditching him for Zack, so he decides to go surf on his own. Meanwhile, Ren is ranting about Gil being real, knowing what she saw and that she’s not crazy.

“At least your best friend didn’t ditch ya. He’s hanging out with his ~new~ surfer buddies. They’re probably having a good’ol time. Laughing, eating onion rings. Twitty doesn’t even like onion rings! Ya know?! So, it’s weird. He’s probably faking like he likes them!” I love this.

Ren decides to go out on the ocean in a boat and call for Gil by making dolphin noises. She brought sardines to lure him with and everything. This is pretty funny and one of my favorite scenes because it’s rooted in miscommunication. Plots with comedic miscommunication are one of my favorite things ever and it’s executed really well here. Naturally, Gil pops up from the water. Like... I’d believe he’s a merman, too. Why is he out there in the ocean all the time?! What was he doing underwater?! How long was he under?! How was he breathing?! All valid questions.

How creepy is that?! lol

He swims over to Ren and tells her he was getting Lobsters for his dad, King Neptune. I’m dead. She’s like “Wow. So you really are a sea person…” - “Yep, born and raised!” he says. This is gold. Then we get a super cringy, awkward moment. After a tiny bit of flirting, Gil proceeds to dramatically kiss Ren????? Slow your rolls, buddy. That’s a little fast for Disney Channel, don’t you think? They just met 2 hours ago at the most, and Ren is in middle school. I’M TELLIN YA! THESE KIDS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE JUNIORS AND SENIORS IN HIGH SCHOOL, I SWEAR! It’s the only logical explanation for certain stuff.

Beans is a freaking idiot who hovered his metal detector over peoples’ pocketbooks and crap all day and stole their personal belongings. But he refers to it as “buried treasure.” How stupid can you be?! Like I said, he’s pretty useless here and did not need to be included in the episode. Plus, you know I’m not the biggest Beans fan. Finally, we see him hover the detector over a tip jar in the shack. He goes to steal all of it before Tawny stops him. Tom comes over and announces that the Lost and Found is open, yelling out all of the items in Beans’ bag lol. There’s one bit where Tom shouts “ONE GOLDEN……. oh geez, this is mine” and sneakily puts it in his pocket. Uh. What the heck was it?! Do I even want to know? Can anyone tell what that is?

While everyone’s in the shack sulking over the lack of waves, Twitty decides to go out and attempt to surf again. While he’s sitting out there, a freaking giant wave comes out of nowhere and sweeps him away. Louis notices and runs to Twitty’s rescue! They don’t skimp on the dramatics here. Louis kicks into full Baywatch slo-mo mode with an 80s knockoff power jam “You can count on mEeEeeE, I will always beeee thereeee for youuUuUuU” playing in the background. So good.

One thing I really like about Even Stevens is that it doesn’t take itself too seriously. They’ll throw in giant computer generated waves, and a terrible green screen job - but it doesn’t matter. It’s not supposed to look good, it’s supposed to be funny. It doesn’t need to look real to sell the moment on this show. (Christy said something similar on the movie’s DVD commentary!) If this scene looked realistic, the episode would pull a 180 and turn into a drama. That’s not what they were going for, haha.

A totally not superimposed Twitty getting swept away.

Louis cracks me up. Literally anything out of his mouth is funny because of the way Shia phrases it. Once he rescues Twitty he says “You know what’s funny to me? That the worst surfer in the world is havin’ to save Hot Shot Surfer Boy over here.” They proceed to argue like an old married couple some more. Twitty says he never called himself Hot Shot Surfer Boy. Louis calls Twitty two-faced and insists he buy him a Philly Cheese Steak to apologize. It’s so petty, I love it so much. When suddenly… ANOTHER WAVE COMES OUT OF NOWHERE! We get a wonderful Louis Scream as they frantically paddle. They end up briefly surfing the wave together.

Twitty: “DUDE THIS IS SO AWESOME THIS WAVE’S LIKE… 10 FEET OVER OUR HEADS!” Louis: “DON’T CHANGE THE SUBJECT, TWITTY! I’M STILL MAD AT CHUUUU!”

Louis falls off and disappears into the sea, which is hilarious looking. But, also awful because if this was a drama, he would’ve died. But, anyway. Twitty comes riding up to shore and everyone surrounds him with praise for conquering that gnarly wave all by himself. Meanwhile, Louis washes up to shore covered in seaweed. This poor child. The two of them share one of those conflicting ~emotional~ moments where one person knows they’re being a jerk and looks off sadly at the person they’re letting down. :( Thankfully, Twitty tells the truth when Zack asks him how he caught the wave and everyone’s shocked that Louis actually did something right.

Ren’s sitting on the beach when some guy approaches her, and she realizes it’s Gil…? But, he’s walking? With legs? And then everything gets cleared up. “King Neptune” is the name of his dad’s seafood company, and he swims with a uni-fin flipper. I almost wish there were more layers of miscommunication! It could’ve been even funnier.

Louis and Twitty end up having a heart to heart while sitting in Tom’s sandcastle. It’s precious. I wish I had a friendship that tight. Instead I’m sitting here, indoors, blogging about a fictional friendship. Twitty apologizes for ditching Louis, and Louis apologizes for inviting himself. But, Twitty says he’s glad he did because he might not be alive. “Yeah… The whole save your life thing. Whatever, it’s all in a day’s work.” I love Louis. How could you not be this guys friend?! To this day, I wish I had a friend as funny and chill as Louis. Dang. Twitty even bought him a Philly Cheese Steak! Aw. They split it and it’s a nice moment. But, as they’re eating.. they have to throw in a bad line. “Huh. It’s a little dry, isn’t it?” Louis asks. Cue another giant CG wave. Get it? Now the sub isn’t dry anymore! Hah..hahaa..ha…? I never thought that line was particularly funny. It’s almost on par with this terribly cheesy (and insensitive) deleted scene from Titanic. But the visual of them getting hit by the fake wave while sitting in a sandcastle is one of those things that will always cheer me up. I can’t look at that without laughing.

And that’s it! The episode ends with a random Twitty-Stevens Connection music video "Dawn Patrol" lol. The song always gets stuck in my head. Ugh. It’s so cringy in the best way. I actually love some of the bloopers they included. But, hey! Who’s the rando on bass? Beans became their bassist earlier in the season. They use Beans for a throwaway metal detector plot, but don’t have him play bass in the band he plays bass for. Okay. Also according to the episode credits, AJ Trauth actually wrote the song! Haha, awesome.

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So, yeah. My opening statements pretty much sum up my feelings towards this one. But, one distracting thing I feel like mentioning is that this episode uses one too many unflattering fish-eye style close ups? WHY?! Look:

One too many! ONE TOO MANY! Paul Hoen directed this one. He still directs for Disney today, btw! I wonder what made him decide on this? It really stood out to me and gives the episode a bit of an offbeat, quirky feel.

Thanks for reading guys! I feel like these posts are getting longer and longer. I have to reel myself in here. (Okay, no pun intended there.) As usual, chime in below. Are you one of the people on that old forum who thought this episode sucked? I personally like it a lot and was tempted to rank it higher!

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#rank #even stevens #season 3 #louis stevens #ren stevens #gil #shia labeouf #christy carlson romano #disney channel #comedy #review #tv show #early 2000s #old school #the zack estrada saga #the twitty stevens connection

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theloverera · 5 years

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IT’S A SUNDAY AFTERNOON in Tribeca, and I’m in Taylor Swift’s loft, inside a former printing house that she has restored and fortified into a sanctuary of brick, velvet, and mahogany. The space is warm and cozy and vaguely literary—later, when we pass through her bedroom en route to her garden, 10 percent of my brain will believe her wardrobe might open up to Narnia. Barefoot in a wine-colored floral top and matching flowy pants, Swift is typing passwords into a laptop to show me the video for “You Need to Calm Down,” eight days before she unleashes it on the world. I have a sliver of an idea what to expect. A few weeks earlier, I spent a day at the video shoot, in a dusty field-slash-junkyard north of Los Angeles. Swift had made it a sort of Big Gay Candy Mountain trailer park, a Technicolor happy place. The cast and crew wore heart-shaped sunglasses—living, breathing lovey-eyes emoji—and a mailbox warned, LOVE LETTERS ONLY. Swift and a stream of costars filmed six scenes over about a dozen hours. The singer-songwriter Hayley Kiyoko, known to her fans as “Lesbian Jesus,” shot arrows at a bull’s-eye. The YouTube comedian-chef Hannah Hart danced alongside Dexter Mayfield, the plus-size male model and self-described “big boy in heels.” The Olympic figure skater Adam Rippon served up icy red snow cones. Swift and her close friend Todrick Hall, of Kinky Boots and RuPaul’s Drag Race, sipped tea with the cast of Queer Eye. The mood was joyous and laid-back. But by the end of the day, I wasn’t sure what the vignettes would add up to. There were shoot days and cameos I wouldn’t observe. For security reasons, the song was never played aloud. (The cast wore ear buds.) Even the hero shot, in which Swift and Hall sauntered arm in arm through the dreamscape at golden hour, was filmed in near-total silence. For weeks afterward, I tried to sleuth out a theory. I started casually. There was a “5” on the bull’s-eye, so I did a quick search to figure out what that number might mean. Immediately I was in over my head. Swift has a thing for symbols. I knew she had been embedding secret messages in liner notes and deploying metaphors as refrains since her self-titled debut in 2006—long before her megafame made her into a symbol of pop supremacy. But I hadn’t understood how coded and byzantine her body of work has become; I hadn’t learned, as Swift’s fans have, to see hidden meanings everywhere. For instance: In the 2017 video for “Look What You Made Me Do,” a headstone in a graveyard scene reads NILS SJOBERG, the pseudonym Swift used as her writing credit on Rihanna’s hit “This Is What You Came For,” a Swedish-sounding nod to that country’s pop wizards. After an excessive amount of ad hoc scholarship—a friend joked that I could have learned Mandarin in the time I spent trying to unpack Swift’s oeuvre—I was no closer to a theory. Pop music has become so layered and meta, but the Taylor Swift Universe stands apart. Apprehending it is like grasping quantum physics. My first indication of what her new album, Lover, would be about came just after midnight on June 1, the beginning of Pride Month, when Swift introduced a petition in support of the federal Equality Act. This legislation would amend the Civil Rights Act to outlaw discrimination based on gender identity and sexual orientation. (It has passed the House, but prospects in Mitch McConnell’s Senate are unclear.) Swift also posted a letter to Senator Lamar Alexander, Republican of Tennessee, asking him to vote yes. The request, on her personal letterhead (born in 1989. LOVES CATS.), denounced President Trump for not supporting the Equality Act. “I personally reject the president’s stance,” Swift wrote. Back in the kitchen, Swift hits play. “The first verse is about trolls and cancel culture,” she says. “The second verse is about homophobes and the people picketing outside our concerts. The third verse is about successful women being pitted against each other.” The video is, for erudite Swifties, a rich text. I had followed enough clues to correctly guess some of the other cameos—Ellen DeGeneres, RuPaul, Katy Perry. I felt the satisfaction of a gamer who successfully levels up—achievement unlocked! The video’s final frame sends viewers to Swift’s change.org petition in support of the Equality Act, which has acquired more than 400,000 signatures—including those of Cory Booker, Elizabeth Warren, Beto O’Rourke, and Kirsten Gillibrand—or four times the number required to elicit an official response from the White House. “Maybe a year or two ago, Todrick and I are in the car, and he asked me, What would you do if your son was gay?” We are upstairs in Swift’s secret garden, comfortably ensconced in a human-scale basket that is sort of shaped like a cocoon. Swift has brought up an ornate charcuterie board and is happily slathering triple-cream Brie onto sea-salt crackers. “The fact that he had to ask me … shocked me and made me realize that I had not made my position clear enough or loud enough,” she says. “If my son was gay, he’d be gay. I don’t understand the question.” I have pressed Swift on this topic, and her answers have been direct, not performative or scripted. I do sense that she enjoys talking to me about as much as she’d enjoy a root canal—but she’s unfailingly polite, and when we turn to music, her face will light up and she will add little melodic phrases to her speech, clearly her preferred language. “If he was thinking that, I can’t imagine what my fans in the LGBTQ community might be thinking,” she goes on. “It was kind of devastating to realize that I hadn’t been publicly clear about that.” I understand why she was surprised; she has been sending pro-LGBTQ signals since at least 2011. Many have been subtle, but none insignificant—especially for a young country star coming out of Nashville. In the video for her single “Mean” (from 2010’s Speak Now), we see a boy in a school locker room wearing a lavender sweater and bow tie, surrounded by football players. In “Welcome to New York,” the first track on 1989, she sings, “And you can want who you want. Boys and boys and girls and girls.” Two years later, she donated to a fund for the newly created Stonewall National Monument and presented Ruby Rose with a GLAAD Media Award. Every night of last year’s Reputation tour, she dedicated the song “Dress” to Loie Fuller, the openly gay pioneer of modern dance and theatrical lighting who captured the imagination of fin-de-siècle Paris. Swift, who has been criticized for keeping her politics to herself, first took an explicit stance a month before the 2018 midterms. On Instagram, she endorsed Democrats for the Tennessee Legislature and called out the Republican running for Senate, Marsha Blackburn. “She believes businesses have a right to refuse service to gay couples,” Swift wrote. “She also believes they should not have the right to marry. These are not MY Tennessee values.” Swift says the post was partly to help young fans understand that if they wanted to vote, they had to register. To tell them, as she puts it, “Hey, just so you know, you can’t just roll up.” Some 65,000 new voters registered in the first 24 hours after her post, according to Vote.org. Trump came to Blackburn’s defense the following day. “She’s a tremendous woman,” he told reporters. “I’m sure Taylor Swift doesn’t know anything about her. Let’s say I like Taylor’s music about 25 percent less now, OK?” In April, spurred by a raft of anti-LGBTQ bills in Tennessee, Swift donated $113,000 to the Tennessee Equality Project, which advocates for LGBTQ rights. “Horrendous,” she says of the legislation. “They don’t call it ‘Slate of Hate’ for nothing.” Swift especially liked that the Tennessee Equality Project had organized a petition of faith leaders in opposition. “I loved how smart it was to come at it from a religious perspective.” Meanwhile, the “Calm Down” video provoked a Colorado pastor to call Swift “a sinner in desperate need of a savior” and warn that “God will cut her down.” It also revived heated debate within LGBTQ communities about the politics of allyship and corporatization of Pride. Some critics argued Swift’s pro-LGBTQ imagery and lyrics were overdue and out of the blue—a reaction the new Swift scholar in me found bewildering. Had they not been paying attention? Nor did it strike me as out of character for Swift to leverage her power for a cause. She pulled her catalog from Spotify in 2014 over questions of artist compensation. She stared down Apple in 2015, when the company said it would not pay artists during the launch of its music service. (Apple reversed itself immediately.) As a condition of her record deal with Universal Music Group last year, the company promised that it would distribute proceeds from any sale of its Spotify shares to all of its artists. And this summer, Swift furiously called out Scott Borchetta, founder of Big Machine Label Group, for selling her master recordings to the music manager Scooter Braun. (When I ask Swift if she tried to get her masters from Big Machine, her whole body slumps with a palpable heaviness. “It was either investing in my past or my and other artists’ future, and I chose the future,” she says of the deal she struck with Universal.) Swift’s blunt testimony during her 2017 sexual-assault case against a radio DJ—months before the #MeToo reckoning blew open—felt deeply political to me and, I imagine, many other women. Swift accused the DJ, David Mueller, of groping her under her skirt at a photo session in 2013. Her camp reported the incident to his employer, who fired him. Mueller denied the allegation, sued Swift for $3 million, and his case was thrown out. Swift countersued for a symbolic $1 and won. In a Colorado courtroom, Swift described the incident: “He stayed latched onto my bare ass cheek” as photos were being snapped. Asked why photos of the front of her skirt didn’t show this, she said, “Because my ass is located at the back of my body.” Asked if she felt bad about the DJ’s losing his job, she said, “I’m not going to let you or your client make me feel in any way that this is my fault. Here we are years later, and I’m being blamed for the unfortunate events of his life that are the product of his decisions—not mine.” When Time included Swift on the cover of its “Silence Breakers” issue that year, the magazine asked how she felt during the testimony. “I was angry,” she said. “In that moment, I decided to forgo any courtroom formalities and just answer the questions the way it happened…I’m told it was the most amount of times the word ass has ever been said in Colorado Federal Court.” Mueller has since paid Swift the dollar—with a Sacagawea coin. “He was trolling me, implying that I was self-righteous and hell-bent on angry, vengeful feminism. That’s what I’m inferring from him giving me a Sacagawea coin,” Swift says. “Hey, maybe he was trying to do it in honor of a powerful Native American woman. I didn’t ask.” Where is the coin now? “My lawyer has it.” I ask her, why get louder about LGBTQ rights now? “Rights are being stripped from basically everyone who isn’t a straight white cisgender male,” she says. “I didn’t realize until recently that I could advocate for a community that I’m not a part of. It’s hard to know how to do that without being so fearful of making a mistake that you just freeze. Because my mistakes are very loud. When I make a mistake, it echoes through the canyons of the world. It’s clickbait, and it’s a part of my life story, and it’s a part of my career arc.” I’d argue that no heterosexual woman can listen to “You Need to Calm Down” and hear only a gay anthem. “Calm down” is what controlling men tell women who are angry, contrary, or “hysterical,” or, let’s say, fearing for their physical safety. It is what Panic! at the Disco singer Brendon Urie says to Swift in the beginning of the “ME!” music video, prompting her to scream, “Je suis calme!” I cannot believe it is a coincidence that Swift, a numbers geek with an affinity for dates, dropped the single—whose slow, incessant bass is likely to be bumping in stadiums across the world in 2020 if she goes on tour—on June 14, a certain president’s birthday. It’s enlightening to read 13 years of Taylor Swift coverage—all the big reviews, all the big profiles—in one sitting. You notice things. How quickly Swift went from a “prodigy” (The New Yorker) and a “songwriting savant” (Rolling Stone) to a tabloid fixture, for instance. Or how suspect her ambition is made to seem once she acquires real power. Other plot points simply look different in the light of #MeToo. It is hard to imagine that Swift’s songs about her exes would be reviewed as sensationally today. I wonder if, in 2019, any man would dare grab the microphone out of a young woman’s hands at an awards show. I stared into space for a good long while when I was reminded that Pitchfork did not review Taylor Swift’s 1989 but did review Ryan Adams’s cover album of Taylor Swift’s 1989. I ask Swift if she had always been aware of sexism. “I think about this a lot,” she says. “When I was a teenager, I would hear people talk about sexism in the music industry, and I’d be like, I don’t see it. I don’t understand. Then I realized that was because I was a kid. Men in the industry saw me as a kid. I was a lanky, scrawny, overexcited young girl who reminded them more of their little niece or their daughter than a successful woman in business or a colleague. The second I became a woman, in people’s perception, was when I started seeing it. “It’s fine to infantilize a girl’s success and say, How cute that she’s having some hit songs,” she goes on. “How cute that she’s writing songs. But the second it becomes formidable? As soon as I started playing stadiums—when I started to look like a woman—that wasn’t as cool anymore. It was when I started to have songs from Red come out and cross over, like ‘I Knew You Were Trouble’ and ‘We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.’ ” Those songs are also more assertive than the ones that came before, I say. “Yeah, the angle was different when I started saying, I knew you were trouble when you walked in. Basically, you emotionally manipulated me and I didn’t love it. That wasn’t fun for me.” I have to wonder if having her songwriting overlooked as her hits were picked apart and scrutinized wasn’t the biggest bummer of all. Swift: “I wanted to say to people, You realize writing songs is an art and a craft and not, like, an easy thing to do? Or to do well? People would act like it was a weapon I was using. Like a cheap dirty trick. Be careful, bro, she’ll write a song about you. Don’t stand near her. First of all, that’s not how it works. Second of all, find me a time when they say that about a male artist: Be careful, girl, he’ll use his experience with you to get—God forbid—inspiration to make art.” Without question the tenor of the Taylor Swift Narrative changed most dramatically in July 2016, when Kim Kardashian West called her a “snake” on Twitter, and released video clips of Swift and Kanye West discussing the lyrics to his song “Famous.” (No need to rehash the details here. Suffice it to say that Swift’s version of events hasn’t changed: She knew about some of the lyrics but not others; specifically, the words that bitch.) The posts sparked several hashtags, including #TaylorSwiftIsASnake and #TaylorSwiftIsCanceled, which quickly escalated into a months-long campaign to “cancel” Swift. To this day Swift doesn’t think people grasp the repercussions of that term. “A mass public shaming, with millions of people saying you are quote-unquote canceled, is a very isolating experience,” she says. “I don’t think there are that many people who can actually understand what it’s like to have millions of people hate you very loudly.” She adds: “When you say someone is canceled, it’s not a TV show. It’s a human being. You’re sending mass amounts of messaging to this person to either shut up, disappear, or it could also be perceived as, Kill yourself.” I get a sense of the whiplash Swift experienced when I notice that, a few months into this ordeal, while she was writing the songs that an interpolation of a ’90s camp classic, Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy.”) Nonetheless, most critics read it as a grenade lobbed in the general direction of Calabasas. One longtime Nashville critic, Brian Mansfield, had a more plausible take: She was writing sarcastically as the “Taylor Swift” portrayed in the media in a bid for privacy. “Yeah, this is the character you created for me, let me just hide behind it,” she says now of the persona she created. “I always used this metaphor when I was younger. I’d say that with every reinvention, I never wanted to tear down my house. ’Cause I built this house. This house being, metaphorically, my body of work, my songwriting, my music, my catalog, my library. I just wanted to redecorate. I think a lot of people, with Reputation, would have perceived that I had torn down the house. Actually, I just built a bunker around it.” In March, the snakes started to morph into butterflies, the vampire color palette into Easter pastels. When a superbloom of wildflowers lured a mesmerizing deluge of Painted Lady butterflies to Los Angeles, Swift marked it with an Instagram post. She attended the iHeartRadio Music Awards that night in a sequin romper and stilettos with shimmery wings attached. Swift announced the single “ME!” a month later, with a large butterfly mural in Nashville. In the music video for the (conspicuously) bubblegum song, a hissing pastel-pink snake explodes into a kaleidoscope of butterflies. One flutters by the window of an apartment, where Swift is arguing in French with Urie. A record player is playing in the background. “It’s an old-timey, 1940s-sounding instrumental version of ‘You Need to Calm Down,’ ’’ Swift says. Later, in the “Calm Down” video, Swift wears a (fake) back tattoo of a snake swarmed by butterflies. We are only two songs in, people. Lover, to be released on August 23, will have a total of 18 songs. “I was compiling ideas for a very long time,” Swift says. “When I started writing, I couldn’t stop.” (We can assume the British actor Joe Alwyn, with whom Swift has been in a relationship for nearly three years, provided some of the inspiration.) Swift thinks Lover might be her favorite album yet. “There are so many ways in which this album feels like a new beginning,” she says. “This album is really a love letter to love, in all of its maddening, passionate, exciting, enchanting, horrific, tragic, wonderful glory.” I have to ask Swift, given how genuinely at peace she seems, if part of her isn’t thankful, if not for the Great Cancellation of 2016, then for the person she now is—knowing who her friends are, knowing what’s what. “When you’re going through loss or embarrassment or shame, it’s a grieving process with so many micro emotions in a day. One of the reasons why I didn’t do interviews for Reputation was that I couldn’t figure out how I felt hour to hour. Sometimes I felt like: All these things taught me something that I never could have learned in a way that didn’t hurt as much. Five minutes later, I’d feel like: That was horrible. Why did that have to happen? What am I supposed to take from this other than mass amounts of humiliation? And then five minutes later I’d think: I think I might be happier than I’ve ever been.” She goes on: “It’s so strange trying to be self-aware when you’ve been cast as this always smiling, always happy ‘America’s sweetheart’ thing, and then having that taken away and realizing that it’s actually a great thing that it was taken away, because that’s extremely limiting.” Swift leans back in the cocoon and smiles: “We’re not going to go straight to gratitude with it. Ever. But we’re going to find positive aspects to it. We’re never going to write a thank-you note.” Though people will take the Perry-Swift burger-and-fries embrace in the “You Need to Calm Down” video as a press release that the two have mended fences, Swift says it’s actually a comment on how the media pits female pop stars against one another. After Perry sent Swift an (actual) olive branch last year, Swift asked her to be in the video: “She wrote back, This makes me so emotional. I’m so up for this. I want us to be that example. But let’s spend some time together. Because I want it to be real. So she came over and we talked for hours. “We decided the metaphor for what happens in the media,” Swift explains, “is they pick two people and it’s like they’re pouring gasoline all over the floor. All that needs to happen is one false move, one false word, one misunderstanding, and a match is lit and dropped. That’s what happened with us. It was: Who’s better? Katy or Taylor? Katy or Taylor? Katy or Taylor? Katy or Taylor? The tension is so high that it becomes impossible for you to not think that the other person has something against you.“ Meanwhile, the protesters in the video reference a real-life religious group that pickets outside Swift’s concerts, not the white working class in general, as some have assumed. “So many artists have them at their shows, and it’s such a confounding, confusing, infuriating thing to have outside of joyful concerts,” she tells me. “Obviously I don’t want to mention the actual entity, because they would get excited about that. Giving them press is not on my list of priorities.” REDACTED lol Swift wrote the first two singles with Joel Little, best known as one of Lorde’s go-to producers. (“From a pop-songwriting point of view, she’s the pinnacle,” Little says of Swift.) The album is likely to include more marquee names. A portrait of the Dixie Chicks in the background of the “ME!” video almost certainly portends a collaboration. If fans are correctly reading a button affixed to her denim jacket in a recent magazine cover, we can expect one with Drake, too. Lover. “We met at one of her shows,” says McCartney, “and then we had a girls’ night and kind of jumped straight in. In London we’ll go on walks and talk about everything—life and love.” (Swift has no further fashion ambitions at the moment. “I really love my job right now,” she tells me. “My focus is on music.”) Oh, and that “5” on the bullseye? Track five is called “The Archer.” Yet something tells me the most illuminating clue for reading both Lover and Reputationmay be Loie Fuller, the dancer to whom Swift paid homage on tour. As Swift noted on a Jumbotron, Fuller “fought for artists to own their work.” Fuller also used swirling fabric and colored lights to metamorphose onstage, playing a “hide-and-seek illusionist game” with her audience, as one writer has put it. She became a muse to the Symbolists in Paris, where Jean Cocteau wrote that she created “the phantom of an era.” The effect, said the poet Stéphane Mallarmé, was a “dizziness of soul made visible by an artifice.” Fuller’s most famous piece was “Serpentine Dance.” Another was “Butterfly Dance.” Swift has had almost no downtime since late 2017, but what little she does have is divided among New York, Nashville, Los Angeles, and Rhode Island, where she keeps homes—plus London. In an essay earlier this year, she revealed that her mother, Andrea Swift, is fighting cancer for a second time. “There was a relapse that happened,” Swift says, declining to go into detail. “It’s something that my family is going through.” Later this year, she will star in a film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Cats as Bombalurina, the flirtatious red cat. “They made us the size of cats by making the furniture bigger,” she says. “You’d be standing there and you could barely reach the seat of a chair. It was phenomenal. It made you feel like a little kid.” But first, she will spend much of the summer holding “secret sessions”—a tradition wherein Swift invites hundreds of fans to her various homes to preview her new music. “They’ve never given me a reason to stop doing it,” she says. “Not a single one.” Speaking of: Inquiring fans will want to know if Swift dropped any more clues about how to decode Lover during this interview. For you I reviewed the audio again, and there were a few things that made my newly acquired Swifty sense tingle. At one point she compared superstardom in the digital age to life in a dollhouse, one where voyeurs “can ‘ship’ you with who they want to ‘ship’ you with, and they can ‘favorite’ friends that you have, and they can know where you are all the time.” The metaphor was precise and vivid and, well, a little too intricately rendered to be off the cuff. (Also, the “ME!” lyric: “Baby doll, when it comes to a lover. I promise that you’ll never find another like me.”) Then there was the balloon—a giant gold balloon in the shape of a numeral seven that happened to float by while we were on her roof, on this, the occasion of her seventh album. “Is it an L’?” I say. “No, because look, the string is hanging from the bottom,” she says. It might seem an obvious symbolic gesture, deployed for this interview, except for how impossible that seems. Swift let me control the timing of nearly everything. Moreover, the gold seven wasn’t floating up from the sidewalk below. It was already high in the sky, drifting slowly toward us from down the street. She would have had to control the wind, or at least to have studied it. Would Taylor Swift really go to such elaborate lengths for her fans? This much I know: Yes, she would.

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tuseriesdetv · 6 years

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Upfronts 2018 (ABC): Nuevas series, renovaciones y cancelaciones

Solo cuatro de las once series nuevas que encargó ABC el año pasado han conseguido una renovación. Incluso sus tres series estrenadas en verano, que se encargaron hace dos años, no pasaron el filtro. La cadena sigue dando palos de ciego mandando a la basura trece pilotos y esperando un milagro como el del regreso de Roseanne. Entre sus novedades destacan el fichaje de Lauren Cohan, que aparecerá en seis episodios más de The Walking Dead y tiene permiso para firmar nuevos acuerdos con AMC, y la fecha de estreno de Take Two, que se encargó en noviembre y comienza a emitirse el próximo mes de junio.

A Million Little Things

El drama se centra en un grupo de amigos de Boston, con vidas totalmente distintas pero todas estancadas, que deciden empezar a vivir de verdad tras la inesperada muerte de uno de ellos. Protagonizada por David Giuntoli (Grimm), Ron Livingston (Loudermilk, Search Party), Romany Malco (Weeds, Blunt Talk), Allison Miller (Go On, 13 Reasons Why), Christina Moses (The Originals, Condor), Christina Ochoa (Valor, Animal Kingdom), James Roday (Psych), Stephanie Szostak (Satisfaction, Iron Man 3) y Lizzy Greene (Nicky, Ricky, Dicky & Dawn). Escrito y producido por DJ Nash (Growing Up Fisher, Truth Be Told) y dirigido por James Griffiths (The Mayor, Episodes).

A favor: No tendría nada de malo que encontrásemos otro drama lacrimógeno.

En contra: También se quiere aprovechar del éxito de This Is Us.

Whiskey Cavalier (MIDSEASON)

Will Chase (Scott Foley; Scandal, Grey's Anatomy) es un agente del FBI con nombre en clave 'Whiskey Cavalier' que, tras una ruptura sentimental, comienza a trabajar con la agente de la CIA Francesca 'Frankie' Trowbridge (Lauren Cohan; The Walking Dead, The Vampire Diaries), con nombre en clave 'Fiery Tribune'. Juntos lideran un equipo de espías heroicos, divertidos e imperfectos que salvan el mundo cada semana mientras testan sus amistades, amoríos y relaciones laborales. Completan el reparto Ana Ortiz (Ugly Betty, Devious Maids), Tyler James Williams (Everybody Hates Chris, Dear White People) y Vir Das. Escrita por Dave Hemingson (Just Shot Me!, Pepper Ann) y producida por Foley.

A favor: Ya era hora de que Lauren Cohan buscase otro camino.

En contra: No estamos seguros de que este camino sea el correcto, aunque por probar...

Grand Hotel (MIDSEASON)

Adaptación de la española Gran Hotel que nos enseña el último hotel de Miami Beach dirigido por una familia. El carismático Santiago Mendoza (Demián Bichir, The Bridge, Weeds) es el dueño, y su segunda esposa (Roselyn Sanchez; Devious Maids, Without a Trace) y sus hijos adultos se aprovechan de su éxito aportando escándalos, deudas y secretos a este hotel de fachada lujosa. Completan el cast Denyse Tontz (The Fosters, Incorporated), Bryan Craig (Valor, General Hospital), Wendy Raquel Robinson (The Game, The Steve Harvey Show), Shalim Ortiz (Señora Acero, Heroes), Anne Winters (Tyrant, 13 Reasons Why), Chris Warren (High School Musical, The Fosters), Feliz Ramirez y Justina Adorno (Seven Seconds). Escrita por Brian Tanen (Devious Maids, Desperate Housewives) y producida por Eva Longoria.

A favor: Es una visión contemporánea, se espera más fresca.

En contra: Vaya protagonistas.

The Fix (MIDSEASON)

Thriller legal escrito y producido por la fiscal Marcia Clark, a la que conocemos gracias al juicio de O.J. Simpson. En él, Maya Travis (Robin Tunney; The Mentalist, Prison Break), fiscal del distrito de Los Ángeles, sufre una gran derrota en el juicio al famoso actor Sevvy Johnson (Adewale Akinnouye-Agbaje; Lost, Oz) por doble asesinato y, tras perder el control de su carrera, viaja a Washington a disfrutar una vida más tranquila. Ocho años después, Johnson es sospechoso de otro asesinato y Maya vuelve a Los Ángeles buscando una segunda oportunidad de hacer justicia. Completan el reparto Adam Rayner (Tyrant, Notorious), Merrin Dungey (Big Little Lies, The Resident), Breckin Meyer (Franklin & Bash, Garfield), Marc Blucas (Underground, Necessary Roughness), Mouzam Makkar (Champions, The Exorcist), Alex Saxon (The Fosters, Finding Carter) y Scott Cohen (Necessary Roughness, Gilmore Girls).

A favor: Ya nos convence mínimamente si tiene un pedacito del alma de Marcia.

En contra: Puede ser un despropósito. Depende de la historia, de los guiones.

Single Parents

Comedia monocámara sobre un grupo de padres solteros que conocen a Will (Taran Killam; Saturday Night Live, How I Met Your Mother), un hombre que se ha centrado tanto en criar a su hija que ya no tiene citas, y le ayudan a ver que ser padre no tiene por qué significar perder tu identidad y no te impide disfrutar de la vida. Estos padres son Leighton Meester (Gossip Girl), Kimrie Lewis (Scandal), Jake Choi (Younger) y Brad Garrett (Everybody Loves Raymond, Fargo) y sus hijos son Marlow Barkley, Tyler Wladis (A Christmas Story Live!), Devin Trey Campbell y Grace y Sadie Hazelett. Creada por JJ Philbin y Liz Meriwether (New Girl).

A favor: Mostrar que ser padre no pone fin a tu vida social.

En contra: Todo lo demás.

The Kids Are Alright

En los años setenta, en un barrio obrero a las afueras de Los Ángeles, Mike (Michael Cudlitz; The Walking Dead, Southland) y Peggy Cleary (Mary McCormack; The West Wing, Falling Water) crían a sus ocho hijos revoltosos. Son una familia irlandesa católica que vive los cambios de una de las décadas más turbulentas de la historia estadounidense, y su vida no volverá a ser la misma a partir del anuncio de su hijo mayor (Sam Straley). Completan el cast Caleb Martin Foote, Sawyer Barth (Public Morals), Christopher Paul Richards (Billions; Me, Myself & I), Jack Gore, Andy Walken (A Christmas Story Live!) y Santino Barnard. Inspirada en la niñez de Tim Doyle (Dinosarus, Last Man Standing), guionista y productor.

A favor: Si es inspirada en hechos reales, al menos tendrá más credibilidad que todo lo que acostumbramos a ver en esta cadena.

En contra: Cuánto niño.

Schooled (MIDSEASON)

Ambientada en los años noventa, el spin-off de The Goldbergs sigue a Lainey (AJ Michalka), la novia de Barry, y a los profesores Glascott (Tim Meadows) y Mellor (Bryan Callen), que, a pesar de sus excentricidades y locas vidas personales, son héroes para sus alumnos. Trece episodios.

A favor: Explotar una marca se supone que trae buenos resultados.

En contra: Nia Long abandonó el proyecto por NCIS: LA y tuvieron que cambiar de personaje protagonista a última hora con dudoso resultado.

The Rookie

Inspirada en una historia real y protagonizada y producida por Nathan Fillion (Castle, Firefly), trata sobre un hombre que decide mudarse a Los Ángeles para ser policía y comienza como un novato rodeado de gente veinte años más joven. Le acompañan Melissa O'Neil (Dark Matter), Afton Williamson (The Night Of, Banshee), Eric Winter (Witches of East End, Rosewood), Richard T. Jones (Narcos, Santa Clarita Diet), Titus Makin (The Path, Pretty Little Liars), Alyssa Diaz (Ray Donovan, Zoo) y Mercedes Mason (Fear The Walking Dead). Escrita por Alexi Hawley (Castle, The Following).

A favor: Algo se nos ocurrirá si nos dais unos meses.

En contra: Es deprimente. Y encima le buscan un amorío de veinte años menos.

Take Two

Ella (Rachel Bilson; The O.C., Hart of Dixie) es la antigua protagonista de una serie de policías que, tras una juerga de proporciones épicas, ha tenido que abandonar la rehabilitación. Desesperada por retomar su carrera, se convierte en la sombra de un detective privado (Eddie Cibrian; CSI: Miami, Rosewood) usándolo como investigación para la interpretación de algún futuro papel. Aunque él no está muy dispuesto a trabajar de niñero, la chica demuestra su valía gracias a doscientos episodios ejerciendo de detective, y la prensa se encarga de promocionar a la pareja como un dúo muy solvente. Es una procedimental de Andrew W. Marlowe, el creador de Castle, que cuenta también con Aliyah O'Brien (Beyond, Bates Motel), Alice Lee (Faking It, Switched at Birth) y Xavier de Guzman.

A favor: Es Castle con los géneros cambiados.

En contra: Es Castle con los géneros cambiados.

Por último, ¿qué pilotos no se han convertido en serie?

False Profits, con Bellamy Young y Vanessa Williams, queda bajo contención, se han encargado nuevos guiones y puede que reciba encargo para midseason. Por su parte, la comedia de Kenya Barris que la cadena encargó en diciembre volvió a fase de piloto cuando Alec Baldwin leyó el guion y rechazó protagonizarla, y salió del ciclo de pilotos por los problemas para encontrar un nuevo protagonista. Tal vez nunca llegue a realizarse.

For Love

Get Christie Love, con Kylie Bunbury

Salvage, con Catalina Sandino Moreno

Staties

The Finest, con Eric Balfour

The Mission

Crazy Wonderful, con Brooke Elliott

How May We Hate You, con Kat Dennings y Angela Kinsey

Man of the House, con Alyson Hannigan

Most Likely To, con Yvette Nicole Brown

Southern Hospitality, con John Larroquette

Steps, con Ginnifer Goodwin

The Greatest American Hero, con Hannah Simone

Renovaciones

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. nos hizo sufrir hasta el último momento y volverá con una sexta temporada de trece episodios. For the People y Splitting Up Together también han sido renovadas porque había que renovar algo, pero apostamos a que no pasarán de la segunda temporada.

Grey's Anatomy (15ª temporada)

Roseanne (11ª temporada)

Modern Family (10ª temporada)

The Goldbergs (6ª temporada)

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (6ª temporada)

How to Get Away with Murder (5ª temporada)

Black-ish (5ª temporada)

Fresh Off the Boat (5ª temporada)

Speechless (3ª temporada)

American Housewife (3ª temporada)

For the People (2ª temporada)

The Good Doctor (2ª temporada)

Splitting Up Together (2ª temporada)

Station 19 (2ª temporada)

Cancelaciones

El final de The Middle, Once Upon A Time y Scandal fue anunciado con antelación, y son las únicas series que se despiden de ABC con final cerrado. La productora eOne está en conversaciones para vender Designated Survivor a otras cadenas; Una de ellas podría ser Netflix, que tiene los derechos de distribución internacional.

The Middle (9ª temporada)

Once Upon A Time (7ª temporada)

Scandal (7ª temporada)

Quantico (3ª temporada)

Ten Days in the Valley (1ª temporada)

The Mayor (1ª temporada)

The Crossing (1ª temporada)

Deception (1ª temporada)

Marvel's Inhumans (1ª temporada)

Alex, Inc. (1ª temporada)

Kevin (Probably) Saves the World (1ª temporada)

Downward Dog (1ª temporada)

Still Star-Crossed (1ª temporada)

Somewhere Between (1ª temporada)

Agenda semanal

La ficción desaparece de los domingos de ABC, que emitirá nada más y nada menos que diez comedias de media hora a la semana. Los jueves seguirán siendo propiedad de Shonda. Fresh Off the Boat y Speechless, ambas producidas por FOX, se marchan al viernes, quizás para intentar competir con Last Man Standing. Siguen confiando en The Good Doctor para llenar el hueco de Castle, así que Nathan Fillion tendrá que probar suerte el martes. The Kids Are Alright queda emparejada con Roseanne, que volverá en otoño. Take Two se estrena el próximo mes de junio. En cambio, For the People y Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. tendrán que esperar a la midseason junto con el resto de novedades. Lunes: 8-10 p.m. — Dancing With the Stars 10-11 p.m. — The Good Doctor Martes: 8-8:30 p.m. — Roseanne 8:30-9 p.m. — The Kids Are Alright 9-9:30 p.m. — Black-ish 9:30-10 p.m. — Splitting Up Together 10-11 p.m. — The Rookie Miércoles: 8-8:30 p.m. — The Goldbergs 8:30-9 p.m. — American Housewife 9- 9:30 p.m. — Modern Family 9:30-10 p.m. — Single Parents 10-11 p.m. — A Million Little Things Jueves: 8-9 p.m. — Grey's Anatomy 9-10 p.m. — Station 19 10-11 p.m. — How to Get Away with Murder Viernes: 8-9 p.m. — Fresh Off the Boat 8:30-9 p.m. — Speechless 9-10 p.m. — Child Support 10-11 p.m. — 20/20 Sábado: 8-11 p.m. — Saturday Night Football Domingo: 7-8 p.m. — America's Funniest Home Videos 8-9 p.m. — Dancing With the Stars: Juniors 9-10 p.m. — Shark Tank 10-11 p.m. — The Alec Baldwin Show

#series tv #television

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gessvhowarth · 7 years

Photo

Free And Cheap London Events: 12-18 December 2016

All week The Mini Big Band hosts Big Band Christmas Karaoke this Saturday at the Southbank Centre. Photo: Southbank Centre ROALD DAHL'S BIRTHDAY: In honour of Roald Dahl's 100th birthday, illustrator Sir Quentin Blake has drawn special portraits of Dahl's most famous characters. Head to the British Library for Quentin Blake: The Roald Dahl Centenary Portraits to celebrate this phizz-whizzing anniversary. Free, just turn up, until 21 May 2017 TAKE A VIEW: Stop off at Waterloo station and admire British landscape with Take A View's Landscape Photographer of the Year. Winners from the 2016 entries will have their shots displayed for the public to admire in the station. Free, just turn up, until 5 February 2017 180 YEARS OF LONDON BRIDGE: Learn the history of London Bridge, the capital's oldest rail station. Head to the pop-up exhibition charting the 180-year history of the station at London Bridge. Free, just turn up, until 23 December BRICK FLIPS: Enjoy Lego recreations of your favourite scenes and films on Monday. Head over to the Apthorp Gallery for Brick Flicks, an exhibition bringing film's most iconic moments to life in Lego. Free, just turn up, until 31 December ADVENT WINDOWS 2016: Celebrate the Christmas season with Advent Windows: 2016. Greenwich's St Alfege's Church is unveiling a newly decorated window in its living advent calendar every day until Christmas Eve. You can check the locations of each window here. Free, just turn up, until 2 January Monday 12 December Bearpit Podcast (Podcast): Xmas Special HUMANS IN REVOLT: Need to let loose and forget about the craziness of 2016? Then Shorts On Tap's Humans In Revolt - Funk This Shit is for you. Head to Brick Lane for four short films on empowerment and human strength and a night of dancing and letting go. Free, book ahead, 7pm-11pm BEARPIT PODCAST: Head to the Mainhouse at Pleasance Theatre for Bearpit Podcast (Podcast): Xmas Special for a laugh with Ipswich Radio's 7th most popular entertainment podcast. Join Mat Ewins, Fin Taylor and Matt Winning for this hilarious night. £5, book ahead, from 7.30pm STATE OF DISARRAY: Still looking for that perfect Christmas present? Old Street station is hosting State of Disarray's 'reckless fashion revolution'. Get your hands on unique and limited edition clothing. Free, just turn up, until 24 December Tuesday 13 December HAND TWINS: Award-winning artist, Stephanie Kane has created live work in the Tate Britain, Tate Modern and the Apple Store, Covent Garden. Now you can see her most recent work, Hand Twins, at her Soho studio featuring pieces exhibited at the Tate Modern. Free, book ahead, 6pm-9pm CHRISTMAS MARKET: Get that festive feeling with the Paternoster Square Christmas Market. Enjoy mulled wine, delicious food and boutique shopping. Free, just turn up, until 15 December PECKHAM CHAMBER ORCHESTRA: Relax with an evening of classical music from the Peckham Chamber Orchestra as it celebrates its 3rd birthday. The concert at Peckham Liberal Club features works from Corelli, Holst and PCO composers Pauline Oliveros, Rose Dagul and Hannah Catherine Jones. Free, just turn up, 8.30pm-10pm Wednesday 14 December BOOK LAUNCH: Camden Arts Centre is launching Ben Rivers's first monograph, Ways of Worldmaking. River, and design and art collective åbäke, discuss the book with programme curator Sophie Williams. Free, just turn up, 7pm-8.45pm PENNY LECTURES: London is a city full of little curiosities and unknown stories. Join author Henry Eliot for a discussion about his amazing book Curiocity: In Pursuit of London... for just a penny! Free, just turn up, from 5.30pm Thursday 15 December Get Gospel is performing in St Martin's Courtyard on Thursday. Photo: St Martin's Courtyard EAST TO WEST: Discuss history, politics and the beginnings of human rights law with East West Street author Phillipe Sands QC, at a Ukrainian themed evening at Second Home. £3/members go free, book ahead, 7pm-9pm ST MARTIN'S GOSPEL: Gospel group Get Gospel perform unique Christmas arrangements in their own style of gospel and soul, in St Martin's Courtyard. Free, just turn up, 5.30pm-8.30pm Thursday 15 December ANGEL COMEDY RAW: Give yourself a laugh with Angel Comedy Club's Raw, as stars, new talent and experienced acts try out their new material — leaving you to be the judge. Free, just turn up, 8pm-10pm STAR GAZING: Journey across space with Dr Guillem Anglada Escudé, and hear his account of the discovery of an Earth-mass planet in orbit around Proxima Centauri — the nearest star to the Sun. The Idea Store is hosting this amazing journey. Free, book ahead, 6.30pm-8.30pm NIGHT MARKET: Head over to the Geffrye Museum for Christmas Night Market. Do a bit of late night shopping, drink mulled wine or take part in a finger knitting jewellery workshop with I Make Knots. Free (workshop is £5), just turn up, 4pm-9pm Friday 16 December CHILDREN'S BOOK FAIR: Celebrate the best of contemporary children's literature with Parasol Unit at The London Children's Book Fair. The day includes book signings, a live drawing session and workshops. Free, just turn up, until 17 December LUNCHTIME TALK: Crossrail's artist in residence, Julie Leonard has put together Above and Below the Line, telling the story of the diverse workforce behind the Crossrail project. Join Leonard as she gives a tour of the exhibition at New London Architecture. Free, book ahead, 1.15pm-1.45pm YOUNG PHOTOGRAPHERS: Celebrate Chinese culture with the Southbank Centre's China Changing festival. Explore China's relationship with the UK with 2016 Young Photographers Competition at Royal Festival Hall, as young photographers aim to dispel and break down the cultural stereotypes of China. Free, just turn up, from 10am Saturday 17 December CHARACTER ENCOUNTERS: Keep the little ones occupied as you sail across the Thames to the National Maritime Museum for Character Encounters. Explore the struggles of tea trade between Britain and China, dive into the sea with Neptune or learn about life as a Caribbean woman from Pearl Morris. Free, just turn up, noon-3pm (different time slots) CHRISTMAS KARAOKE: Channel you inner rockstar at Royal Festival Hall, and sing on stage, with a 10-piece band in front of (hopefully) adoring fans. The Mini Big Band returns to the Southbank Centre for Big Band Christmas Karaoke, giving visitors the chance to perform a selection of songs, including Christmas favourites. Free, just turn up, from 10pm Check out Character Encounters at the National Maritime Museum. Photo: Royal Museums Greenwich Sunday 18 December BE HERE NOW: Channel your inner peace with Mindfulness Meditation and Relaxation at Farmopolis. Practise relaxation and meditation by the river, surrounded by stunning greenery. £2.50, book ahead, 10am-11am CHRISTMAS DECORATION WORKSHOP: Get crafty with Plant Art as it returns to Farmopolis for a Christmas decoration workshop. Choose from different workshop for the chance to make either bows and hanging spirals, clay stars and moons or origami lanterns. Donation suggested, book ahead, 11am-4pm PHOTOGRAPHY AT THE HORNIMAN: Nature and photography lovers unite! Head over to the Horniman for the European Wildlife Photographer of the Year and explore the natural world's beauty and diversity. Free, just turn up, until 15 January 2017

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#London #Free & Cheap

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