#fin x munch

[khaotictrash]

SVU be like:

This is Olivia, and Olivia’s boyfriend Elliot, and Elliot’s boyfriend Fin, and Fin’s boyfriend Munch, and Olivia’s girlfriend Amanda, and Amanda’s boyfriend Sonny, and Sonny’s boyfriend Barba, and aunt Melinda

#law and order svu #svu #incorrect svu #olivia x elliot #elliot x fin #fin x munch #munch x fin #bensler #rollisi #olivia x amanda

[destielblamscilesinfinity]

Fin and Munch are so gay together, oh my God.

#fin x munch #funch #svu #law and order

[cissyenthusiast010155]

She’s Been to Hell And Back ~S13!Alex Cabot xFem Wife!Reader(feat. Casey, Rita, Liz, Liv & Amanda)

Summary— Alex is kidnapped and tortured. That’s pretty much it. It’s a very long and indulgent fic of Alex x Reader.

Mommy… Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

Warnings: [MATURE], explicit torture, violence, kidnapping, humiliation, implied torture, angst, anxiety attacks, knife, guns, torture devices, branding, cigarette burns, burning, begging, crying, and so much more mature content, Rita being an aunt and a boss bitch, Liz losing her shit, Munch being munch, Amaro being an asshat, Casey barely keeping it together, read at your own risk!!

Enjoy (;

You stepped into the SVU squad room, looking around at the major bustling and chaos of the room. You fidgeted with the hem of your shirt anxiously, biting your lips and nails as well. You were frozen. You couldn’t process it all. Your eyes then landed on a person who you knew could help.

Casey.

Casey had been the one to call you. She hadn’t told you much, only that you need to come to svu immediately. You had dropped work for this. Left straightaway. It all made you extremely anxious. Why would they need you…? Unless…

You shook the terrible thoughts coming up out of your mind, instead springing into action. You walked up to Casey in the middle of the chaos.

“Hey Case!” You called to the redhead who was swiftly fluttering through pages.

Casey jumped at her name and her eyes shot up to you. Suddenly her gaze softened and she looked at you with concern.

“Y/N’s here!!” Casey shot across the room, and everyone practically stopped in their tracks and looked at you.

You gulped and looked around anxiously, pulling your bag closer to you defensively.

“Case… what’s going on…?” You stammered.

Casey couldn’t meet your gaze. Olivia suddenly came out of the Captain’s office and walked through the squad room, followed by Cragen peeking out of his office, telling everyone to get back to work. The shuffling and bustling immediately picked back up again. The noise wasn’t helping you one bit.

You suddenly felt a hand on your back shoulder, and you jumped slightly. You turned around, relaxing a bit to see it was only Olivia with a warm and caring smile.

“Y/N, let’s go into Cragen’s office, yeah…?” The brunette gently suggested.

After you slowly nodded with parted lips of confusion, Olivia led you by her hand on your back to the Captain’s office. She opened the door for you and closed it behind the two of you. Both SVU members looked tense and concerned.

“What exactly… is going on…?” You tensed out through partially gritted teeth, frustration now hitting you in waves.

Olivia guided you to sit down with her, before she but her lip and explained,

“Y/N… Alex didn’t show up for court a couple of hours ago… We… don’t know where she is. She’s not answering her phone, we can’t track it, it’s dead.”

Your heart sunk. And there was now a limp in your throat. Your heart only raced faster and you suddenly felt dizzy.

Olivia could tell that this was a lot to take in, so she gently held you on both sides of your arms.

“That’s not all…” Cragen sighed.

You looked up at the Captain with glossy eyes and a trembling lip.

“W-what…?” You stammered, bringing your arms into your chest and holding yourself.

“We think Alex was… taken.” He explained slowly.

“W-why would you think that…??” You exclaimed, the anger in you now swelling.

Cragen and Olive exchanged looks. Cragen nodded and relented into the brunettes insistence.

“Come on, let me show you something.” Olivia softly spoke.

She led you outside to the squad room and the media corner. Next to all the screens there was a board. A board of at least 100 photographs. And they were all of Alex. Alex and all the people she interacted with. You were on there, and so was Olivia, and Casey, and Rita, and Liz, and Amanda, and so on.

The pictures were practically Alex’s entire life since she’d been with you. This was years of photos. Some of them looked like they could have been snapped by a news reporter outside the courts. But others, much more intimate pictures of the two of you, could have only been captured by active camera surveillance.

You gasped, bringing your hand to your mouth, as you let out a choked sob that you couldn’t contain anymore. Your stomache sunk. You proceeded to collapse on the floor, and were lucky that Amanda was right by you. The Southern blonde was quick to scoop you up and guide you to take a seat in her desk chair.

She then tried to talk to you, but your mind was spiraling. Suddenly a big boom of stacks of paperwork falling across the squad room brought you back to reality with a jolt.

“Y/N? Y/N, there you are, ‘hun. Hey. Heyyy. It’s going to be okay, alright…?” Amanda reassured you.

“But h-how… do you know that…?” You choked out, the tears continuing to pour out.

At that, Amari and Fin walked into the squad room.

“It’s out lucky day! Perp’s blood was at the scene, that girl put up a fight…!” Amara exclaimed, not having realized that you were there.

You immediately stood up and turned to face Amaro. Nick’s eyes went wide and his face struggled to give away the fact that he knew he had fucked up.

“What scene? What…?? What happened??” You exclaimed with a gasp, frustration and anger running through your veins once more.

Amanda pulled you towards her and into her embrace. Her touch calmed you a little, but right now, you really needed it to be Alex’s touch. After a minute, her hug actually and surprisingly helped.

“Thanks…” you muttered.

Amanda shrugged and smiled lightly, as if it was nothing.

“Learned that in Atlanta, had a partner who had anxiety attacks.” The blonde told you, “It’s a grounding thing.”

You listened and nodded along. But your mind quickly started to wander back to Alex again.

“Wait what scene? Do you know where she was taken…??” You asked.

Amanda sighed and stood up, telling you to wait here. She checked in with Cragen in his office, before coming back to you and grabbing her keys.

“Come on, let’s go for a ride.” Amanda told you, indicating for you to follow her.

You gulped and nodded, silently following the Southern blonde with your wobbly legs. You two got into her patrol car, and she began driving. The ride was silent. You had now become numb, your feelings too much to bear. You didn’t want to go down the rabbit hole of what could go wrong… So you stayed in the ignorance of feeling numb.

After about 15-20 minutes, Amanda pulled up to you and Alex’s shared brownstone. You gulped as your eyes widened as it began to click for you.

“This is…” you stammered, trying to find the words.

“Come on, Darling. I’ll explain inside.” Amanda gently reassured you, squeezing your left hand caringly, before getting out of the car.

You followed the blonde detective up the steps of your brownstone and inside. No one was here anymore. But it was a mess, all taped up with crime scene tape and marked with evidence markers and such. It made your stomache flip upside down when you saw blood on the kitchen doorway.

“What Amaro said, that asshole… was that Alex didn’t go down without a fight…” Amanda explained, taking your hand in reassurance as you walked through the torn apart apartment.

“Alex managed to make her kidnapper bleed.” Amanda breathed out.

At that you looked at the woman with wide eyes.

“So you can find out who they are?” You immediately asked.

Amanda bit her inner cheek and looked way slightly.

“Yeaaa ideally yes… but we already ran it, and he’s not in the system…” she explained.

Any and all hope that you had just gained was lost all over again. Amanda squeezed your hand again in reassurance.

“So what’s next…? What can I do?” You asked, desperate to do anything, to get her back, to see her again.

“First, we are going to walk through your place and go through the events, at least what we know. See if any of it jogs your memory of like someone who would want to harm Alex…” Amanda breathed out.

You shuttered and nodded slowly.

“Then when Olivia and Cragen give the go ahead, I’ll take you back to svu and Olivia will properly interview you…”

You gulped, yet nodded again.

“Ok, let’s do it…” you breathed out.

Amanda nodded and guided you by your hand, walking you through the scene. All your feelings came crashing back as the blonde detective walked you through the theory SVU had of what happened.

Alex hadn’t even left for the office yet, having not needed to go in as early that day… You and already left for work, when someone had come to the door. Alex must have known the person, because she let them in (or they had a gun). The main struggle was in the kitchen. SVU assumed that Alex had most likely tried to reason with whomever the perp was, but it went south in the kitchen. Alex’s blood was on the counter, in a circular mark that upheld that the assailant had violently cracked Alex’s head down upon the counter. There were also blood splatters of Alex’s going from the kitchen and out the door, by the amount and pattern of the blood, it was assumed that the assailant had shot Alex somewhere in the leg, but hadn’t hit a major artery or vein. Luckily, on the kitchen doorway, there was Alex’s bloody partial print, but there blood wasn’t hers. The theory was that before the shooter had incapacitated her, she got a swing or two in, and then when he dragged her out, she made one last attempt to grasp the doorway, leaving the perps blood.

Your heart was pounding in your ears three times as fast as earlier. Tears were pouring down your face and you hadn’t even realized it. Amanda squeezed your hand tighter, as she asked you if it sounded like someone you knew or if it triggered any memories.

“N-no… Mm sorry…” you gasped out in between sobs.

The Southern blonde now came in front of you and took both of your hands.

“Don’t be, you did so good, Y/N.” Amanda comforted you, before receiving a ding on her phone and checking her notifications.

It was Olivia telling Amanda to bring you back. You spent the car ride opposite of the last, filled with all the emotions. You were distraught, and sad, and afraid, and angry, and infuriated, and so much more. Your head was swimming, no drowning it it all. You just wanted a break. You wanted Alex safe in your arms.

Amanda led you back into the squad room, passing you off to Olivia with a reassuring smile. Olivia took you into the family interview room, one that was less jarring than the brick and mortar perp interview/confession rooms. She had you sit on the couch next to her.

“Y/N, Amanda told me that you couldn’t think of anything at the crime scene…”

“Don’t… call it that…” you sputtered, having cried yourself out in the car and now hicupping instead.

Olivia sighed, “Of course, I’m sorry— At your and Alex’s home…”

You had your hands clasped in your lap and you were rocking back and forth anxiously. The brunette detective reached for your hands with her hands and tried to physically comfort you, but you jerked in response, starting to hyperventilate. The brunette detective was quick to retract and stick with her interview questions.

“Besides what you didn’t think of at the crim— your and Alex’s place— Can you think of anyone who would want to hurt you…?” Olivia prodded gently.

You shook your head and then hiccuped. Alex had her hair share of criminals who didn’t like her, but nothing she ever found concerning enough to share with you.

“Alright, what about anyone following you recently…? Notice any reoccurring faces…?” She asked.

You thought about it, going through your last months, if not years in your mind.

“I… don’t think so, no…” you stammered, with two more hiccups.

“Alright… Can I get you some water?”

“Yes please…” you whispered, not being able to handle the eye contact, so you simply shut your eyes.

Olivia muttered something with a hum, letting go of your hands, and leaving the room with the door ajar. You just sat there, with your eyes closed and shaking in your boots. You could hear the noisy clamor of the squad room from the ajar door. It was still just as chaotic, if not more. Tensions were high, and fuses were short.

Before Olivia could come back with your water, a familiar voice boomed while entering the squad room.

“Who the hell didn’t inform me about Alex going missing, and why the fuck did I need to find out like this?!”

You immediately stood up with a jolt, scrambling into the squad room to see Rita standing furiously in the middle of the room, while holding up a manila envelope with her name on it. Calhoun’s determined scowl faltered as she noticed you in the corner. She immediately lowered her mask of defense lawyer and rushed over to you.

Her hands were all of over you, checking to see if you were okay. They landed on each side of your face, as her concerned gaze looked at you.

“Hey Baby… How are you holding up…?” She asked, her eyes still scanning you up and down, before landing on your gaze when she expected an answer.

But all she got was a choked sob from you, your tears now back in full swing. The older woman immediately pulled you in for a hug, which you happily accepted. She hugged you tight and with fierce love, you could feel every fiber of her being that cared through the embrace. When Rita let you go, you wheezed and little and whipped your tears away.

Olivia had by now gotten your water and caught wind of the commotion, now coming up to you and Rita. Rita sent daggers to the brunette detective, making Olivia stop a couple feet away from you.

“What’s in the envelope…?” Olivia quipped, before extending her hand with your water in it.

Rita took the water, examined it, then gave it to you, instructing you to drink, before she considered answering Olivia. When she did, her eyes went sad. The main SVU members had surrounded the two of you, all curious as to what Rita had brought. She opened the envelope and pulled out a hard drive.

“Aha! My area of expertise…!” Munch exclaimed, taking the hard drive from Rita and going over to the media corner to open whatever files were contained within the stick.

You went to follow the rest do the team to see what was on the file, but Rita grabbed you by your arm before you could get too far. You turned back to Rita and looked at the woman who had been your mentor, aunt, mom, practically everything with confusion and glossy eyes.

“ ‘Hun, you may not want to see that…” Rita sighed with deep sadness in her eyes.

She had already seen it.

Your eyes hardened and you frowned. You quickly pulled your hand out of Rita’s grasp.

“Like hell I won’t…” you exclaimed, then turning around and walking up behind the team who were all gathered around Munch who was about to click play on a video file.

Rita came up behind you, her eyes staying on you the entire time as the video played. She watched your face whiten, watched your face wash over in horror, then a wave of anger. She watched your shock, then followed by uncontrollable sadness and tears.

Alex was in the centre of the screen, tied up and hanging by her wrists around a rusty metal bar running along the wall. Her head was hanging low. Her hair frazzled and tired. Her clothing was dirty, torn, and bloody. There was a light sway of her body as it hung from the beam. Her shoes had been discarded. The bottom half of her her stomache was on display, as her shirt was being strained from the position. Her left lower leg was bleeding, presumably from the gunshot from the struggle at the brownstone. Her forehead was all bloody from the blow to the counter.

Suddenly, a person stepped into the frame. They were wearing all black and had their face and voice masked. He had some kind of black colored weapon, almost baton looking in his hand. He laughed wickedly into the camera, before turning his attention to Alex.

“As I can’t torture all of you, unfortunately… One will have to do…” The man tilted his head as he turned on the stick and plunged it against Alex’s exposed side stomache with a cackle.

Alex’s body convulsed and jolted uncontrollably as she was she was hit with volts and volts of burning electricity. She let out a desperate groan, which turned into a silent scream as tears poured down her face, as she fought against her restraints and against the volts. After a couple solid seconds of this, the man finally retracted the insane taser torture. As he moved the torture device back, Alex’s freshly burned skin could be seen, a fresh branded circle on the side of her stomache. The man proceeded to repeat this process for multiple rounds. And the whole time, Alex fought and screamed and convulsed, as tears ran down her face and shirt. Finally, after five burning rounds, Alex passed out. And the man stopped, looking to the camera with a grin.

“No point if the bitch isn’t awake…” He chuckled wickedly, “And that was only Act 1… Dedicated to Detective Olivia Benson…”

Rage was quick to take over your enter being, all the sadness quickly forgotten. You nearly assaulted Olivia right then and there. But Rita saw this coming, and she was quick to hold you back as you attempted to pounce on the brunette detective across from you.

You scowled and fought back, the team all taking a step back from you, all of them just as shocked as you were. But Rita held you firm.

“Shhhh, Baby, it’s okay… Calm down…” Rita cooed into the shell of your ear, “It’s going to be okay, it’s not Olivia’s fault…”

After a couple seconds, Rita managed to get you to promise to not punch the older brunette detective in the face. So she let you go. You huffed and didn’t know what to do. You were hit with another wave of sudden sadness.

As you were having your life crisis, the team began speculating and conversating about what they could learn from the video and how they could find Alex. You weren’t able to focus on them or anything anymore, everything started to just fade away into black.

When you woke up, you were in Rita’s lap, back in the family interview room. For a split second, you felt at peace’s and then reality smacked you back in the face. Rita was beginning to tell you that you had passed out when you began to freak out.

“Hey, Hey. It’s okay, sweetheart. You’re safe, it’s okay.” Rita comforted you, as you sat up startled and distraught.

“N-no it’s n-not… Alex my Lex she’s… she’s…” you choked out, hyperventilating.

Rita was quick to take you into her arms on the couch and comfort you. She ran her fingers through your hair, she rubbed your arms and hands and side, calming you as best as you could.

“Hey. We are going to find this sycko who did this… ok? The team is on it…” Rita insisted and ensured you, “Take some deep breaths for me, Baby…”

You nodded shakily, your entire body shaking in Rita’s arms, as you took some deep breaths. You began to doze off in the woman’s arms, Rita was quick to encourage you to not fight it. And so you dozed off…

You awoke startled once more by a shriek echoing through the squad room and into where you and Rita were. You practically fell off the couch and scrambled out to the squad. Rita was swift behind you. Your eyes fell on Casey, who now had a Manila envelope in her hand with her name on it.

“Where did you get that??” Olivia questioned the redhead.

“I… a junior officer dropped it off… I don’t know, sorry” Casey stammered, handing it off to Olivia who opened it.

“Fin, Amanda, go find that junior officer, maybe he can give us a lead on this guy.” Cragen told his team.

Fin and Amanda nodded and left the room at once. Olivia had found another hard drive, having passed it to Munch to analyze. Rita’s eyes widened as Munch went to press play, and she tried to pull you away once more, but you only pulled away from her and to the screen with more ferocity. With a click from Munch, the video began…

Alex was still in the same position. She was awake again. But barely. Drool was coming from the sides of her mouth as her head lolled down. Her breathing was heavy and labored, affecting her entire body as it hung from the rope attached to her wrists and around the beam.

The man then came back into the camera screen. He held a knife in his hand this time. After taunting the camera, he stalked up to Alex, his free hand roughly grabbing and wrenching her blouse open. The buttons clattered to the floor as the perp moved the torn blouse aside, showing off Alex’s black bra and exposed chest and stomache.

Alex seemed to barely register anything until the knife began slicing her chest. She let out a howl at the pain, deep enough to hurt, but not deep enough to kill. He continued these slices, along her stomache, along her clothed arms as well, and all the way up to her shoulders and neck. He seemed to only be egged on by Alex’s groans and cries, which very quickly turned into begging and pleading for him to stop. Once the man reached her neck, he held the knife firmly along her throat, before speaking. The dozens of cuts all bleed into one another, practically covering Alex’s entire upper body in blood.

“Act 2 is not as bad, because you just sucked at your job…” The man sneered, “But trust me, the next one… I’d be surprised if the bitch doesn’t die… Dedicated to Rita Calhoun.”

Your knees buckled and you collapsed on the floor as Alex let out a particular blood curteling scream in the video. Tears streamed down your face as you couldn’t bring yourself to watch the rest of the video, the audio already taunting you enough. You felt your body go limp and you began to slouch and fall from your knees to the ground completely.

“Turn it off! Off!!” Rita yelled enraged, before dropping to the ground with you and comforting you.

Munch turned the video off, but not before the man was able to dedicate the video to Rita. Rita’s eyes widened and her throat went dry. The whole team stared at the two of you. Rita was dumbfounded at what this had to do with her, but she was quick to spring into action over it.

“Novak. Take Y/N to the diner down the street. She probably hasn’t eaten all day.” Rita commanded the room.

Casey’s eyes widened, and she immediately nodded in understanding.

“Of course, Rita.” Casey said, hurriedly coming over to the two of you.

You tried to protest as Rita handed you over to Casey, but Rita was stern and quickly silenced you, not that you could say anything right now with how overwhelmed you were. Casey was quick to file you out of the room.

You didn’t even remember leaving SVU or getting to the diner, all you remember is suddenly sitting with Casey looking at the late lunch menu. You were shaking and fidgeting like crazy.

Casey reached her hand across the table and squeezed your balled up fist reassuringly. You looked up to the redhead with your stained and now completely dried out eyes, having cried it all out for the second time today.

“Hey. Let’s get you some food, huh…?” Casey hummed.

You nodded slowly. The waitress came, but you couldn’t hear a thing. Casey looked at you with care and understanding, ordering for the both of you. Then once the waitress had left, her attention was on you once more.

“C-Casey…?” You whispered.

Casey leaned in and softly spoke,

“Yes…?”

“How… how are you okay…?” You whispered, a single tear rolling down your cheek as you blinked, “She’s… she’s like your best friend and you hers…”

Casey sighed and squeezed your hand again.

“Y/N, look at me.” Casey hummed, her tone breaking in a falter.

You finally looked at Casey again, and took in her appearance. You suddenly noticed the tear stains on her face and how crazy her long, normally well curled hair was.

“I am not okay. I just… suck at showing my emotions…” Casey explained gently, her own eyes beginning to gloss over as she became more vulnerable.

Your lips pressed together and you smiled lightly, nodding in understanding. You gasped slightly as you felt your phone vibrate once in your pocket. You then felt another vibration. Then one last final third vibrating. You pulled your hands into your lap, away from Casey. The redhead looked at you concerningly.

“Everything okay…?” Casey asked.

“Mm yea… just… need the restroom…” you muttered, before getting out of the diner booth and going to the back where the bathroom was.

Casey nodded, watching you leave, before getting on her phone and updating the team, as well as getting updated by what they had figured out. She let the team know that you were doing okay and that she was about to feed you. She sighed and let out a light groan, trying to process the weight of what was happening, while reading the update from the group chat.

Munch had analyzed the background of the video, having figured out that Alex was being kept in some warehouse. Which one, they had no clue.

Fin and Amanda had gotten no leads from the junior officer, apparently the envelope had been given to him by a homeless looking guy who disappeared as soon as he dropped off the package at the precinct.

Rita, Olivia, and Nick had been spending their time looking over old case files and anything that connected Olivia and Rita along with possibly Alex, in hope to find a perp or bad guy who got away somehow and wanted revenge.

When Casey was done being caught up, the food had come. But you were still in the bathroom… The redhead grew suspicious, getting up from the table and walking to the back of the diner to the bathroom. She knocked on the door, but received no answer. Quickly, she tried your cell. Straight to voicemail.

~~

As you stepped into the bathroom, you couldn’t shake the terrible feeling about the texts, so you locked the door and immediately opened your phone. The texts were all from one unknown number.

Y/N L/N.

Then a video link.

Act 3. Elizabeth Donnelly

You didn’t even click or see the video. Not yet. You saw Liz’s name and couldn’t think of anything else. Liz would know what to do. She always knew what to do.

You carefully escaped from Casey’s gaze and hold out of the back of the diner, rushing to catch a cab to the DA’s office where Liz would most likely be. The ride wasn’t too long, but you still couldn’t bring yourself to press play on that video. Liz would know what to do. She always did.

Once your reached Liz’s office, you didn’t even knock, simply barging in. Liz was talking with a few DA’s, and she was about to dig into whoever interrupted them, but then she saw your state.

“Leave. All of you, now!” Liz ordered, shooing the attorneys away.

You quickly shut and locked the door behind you. Liz looked you up and down.

“Y/N, what is going on…?” The older woman spoke firmly.

You were hyperventilating again. You could sit, you were pacing. But you had to tell her something. And you tried, but you couldn’t bring yourself to explain. Liz stood up, recognizing the signs of an anxiety attack, and coming over to you in concern. She guided you to sit with her on her office couch, asking you again, more softly this time,

“Honey, what’s the matter…?”

You let out a choked sob, bringing out your phone and clicking the video. That was the only thing you could think of. Liz watched your every movement. You pressed play.

Alex was hanging as in the last video, but her blouse was completely gone. Her breathing was shallow and barely there, but she was still alive.

The man showed back up, coming up to the camera to say hello, before quickly turning his attention to Alex once more with the same knife as before in his hands. He grabbed Alex’s chin and pulled her face to meet his gaze. Alex tried to growl and fight back, but the exhaustion on her face was evident. He had probably drugged her up real good so that she didn’t stand a chance… While the man held her face rough with one hand, his other with the knife sliced her bra into pieces. He then let her face go with a smack! before tearing the bra off her body. The vulnerable whimper that Alex let out was distinct. And it only fed into the man’s fantasies. He then bent down to her bottom half and ran the knife down her side, followed by his hands ripping her skirt open. He wrenched that off her as well, throwing it aside. Alex was now left only in her panties. She closed her eyes and went limp, as the man trailed the knife in between her legs and up against her clothed core. He then moved to her thigh and ripped her underwear off with a snap! until she was fully nude, hanging for everyone to see. Another hopeless whimper left Alex as the man suddenly smacked her ass.

Before the video could finish, Liz slammed the phone down onto the ground, effectively pausing it. Your eyes went wide and you looked at the older woman with an open mouth. She looked horrified. But Rage was quick to replace the shock.

“What?! Liz wait—!!” You exclaimed as the blonde stood up and shook her white knuckle fists.

Liz turned back to you, looking you directly in the eyes.

“What in the actual fuck is going on, Y/N?!Why in the hell are you making me watch my daughter be tortured by some psycho???” Liz shrilled.

“Lower your voice!!” You harshly whispered, swiftly standing up and getting in her face, and effectively shutting Liz up for a second with how stern you and suddenly become.

“Then you better goddamn tell me what is going on…” Liz growled.

“OK—” you exclaimed, placing your hand on your forehead and sighing.

You say down again as the overwhelming sadness hit you once more.

“Lex… was taken… didn’t show up in court…” you stammered, “Guy’s been sending… videos…” you choked up.

Liz then picked up the phone from the floor, sitting back down next to you in silence for a moment.

“How many?”

You were jolted out of your grief by her words.

“W-what…?” You stammered.

“How many videos… did he send…?” Liz spoke, trying to sound in control but her own tone faltering and cracking a little.

“This is the third. He usually talks about it in the video…” you said quietly.

This made Liz look at you and then back to the phone. She turned it on and clicked play again. You both sat in anticipation as the video continued.

Alex’s bloody, bruised, and now completely exposed body came back on screen, right where it had left off. Alex flinched as the man smacked her ass a second time.

“Shut up Bitch!! Take it, We all know you want it!!!” The man jeered, before smacking her ass a third time and then grabbing and fondling her tits.

Alex tried to pull away from his touch, she tried to yell or cry or shout, but she found that her body was not taking orders from her mind anymore. Her body had gone limp. But she could feel everything. She could see everything in her line of sight. She could hear everything.

When she went completely silent, unable to protest anymore, the man cackled again, louder and more taunting than ever. He then proceeded to come up to the camera.

“Now, I’m not gonna show you this next bit… I’m going to save that for when you find her dead body… But Act 3 is dedicated to that bitch judge, Elizabeth Donnelly…” the man jeered.

The video then went static for a second. Then the camera came back on and showed an unconscious Alex Cabot, swaying lightly back and forth. Where her body wasn’t sliced and cut, it was bruised. Where her body wasn’t bloody, it was covered in dirt, like it had been thrown at her. The faint and small outlines of cigarette burns were trailed across both of her arms and thighs. Her mouth was filled with an oozing her own blood, as if 100 fists had hit her. And her right tit was branded with a symbol, difficult to make out. All of this and so much worse would be discovered had been done to her…

The video ended and silence took the room. Suddenly you heard crying. You looked over and Liz was hunched over and crying in her lap. You weren’t sure what to do, haven’t ever seen the powerful, older woman so vulnerable before. You just instinctively wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close.

“I… I’m sorry. I didn’t… didn’t know what to do… I thought if I came to you…” you rambled, now feeling guilty for having brought this to Liz.

“Hush… none of that… ssnot your fault.” Liz breathed out in sniffles, accepting your embrace and pressing into you even more, “I know she’s not… my real daughter but if anything happens to her… I… I don’t know what I’d do…”

You two sobbed in each other’s arms for a while. It was only when someone came banging on Liz’s office door with no sudden warning that the two of you jumped apart and off the couch. You went to unlock the door and storming in came a furious Rita.

Rita wouldn’t even hear it from you. She took your phone immediately. All the way back to the squad room, the car was silent between the three of you.

Casey had figured out that you had run away, and she had immediately called SVU. They had divided and conquered all the places they thought you’d go. And the second Liz wasn’t answering her own phone, Casey knew that was where you had gone.

Back in the squad room, Munch began analyzing your phone. You sat in one of the detectives chairs, fidgeting and bouncing your leg, under Rita’s intense gaze. She had made you tell the team everything that had happened. She was not going to let you slip away again. Over her dead body.

Liz immediately threw a fit and started ordering people around. After looking at the files that Olivia and Amara had compiled, it took her five minutes to put it together. Liz found a perp who had escaped jail, whom Olivia had interrogated, Rita had represented and lost, She had judged, and Alex had prosecuted and won.

The second the team had their perp, they began canvassing possible areas. The man leased a piece of warehouse property near the river as it was discovered, so that’s where everyone rushed to go to.

Everyone was on edge.

“I’m gonna go!” You exclaimed to Rita.

“No you are not!!” She shrieked back.

“Why not?!! She’s the love of my life!!!” You yelled, tears running down your face as you screamed.

“Because she might be dead, Y/N!!!!”

Practically the entire squad room went silent at this. They all stared at you and Rita. But quickly, they all began their work again, and the team ran out to the location to find Alex. Both Rita and Liz held you back as you fought to get outside and in a squad car. But they held the upper hand. You collapsed in both of their arms, desperate and exhausted, completely out of energy.

~~

The team did indeed find Alex, although she was barely breathing. They immediately sent her to Mercy’s, where Rita and Liz already had you there waiting. You sat in the waiting room, in between the two woman, shaking and fidgeting restlessly.

Hours went by with no update. Eventually, it was all too much for you. You leaned against Rita’s shoulder for some comfort and before you could stop yourself, you were falling asleep.

~~

“Y/N, love, wake up…” Liz gently woke you, making you snort lightly as you came back to reality.

She was offering you a hand, which you eagerly took to stand up. The nurse came up to you.

“You may see her now. One at a time please.” The nurse told the group of you.

Everyone looked at you and pretty much all agreed in unison and with mere looks that you would be the person going in to see her first.

You entered the hospital room, and immediately came up to Alex’s bedside. You felt relief wash over you that she was here with you and that she was okay. You held one of her hands as she came to.

“Mmm heyyyy…” Alex said in an extremely scratchy and hoarse voice, her head turning slowly towards you.

Tears of joy began to spill out and down your cheeks. You squeezed your wife’s hand lovingly.

“Hi Lex…” you whispered, “How are you feeling…?”

“Like someone pumped an entire pharmacy through me…” Alex groaned lightly, “mm pretty sure I was drugged… most of the time I couldn’t move or speak…” her tone got sad and overwhelmed, as tears started to form on her sapphire eyes.

“Hey hey, it’s okay.” You comforted Alex, who met your gaze again, smiling at the sight of you, “You’re safe with me now, that’s all that matters…”

Alex lightly squeezed your hand now as she smiled. It would be a long road to recovery, but the important thing is that you would be with her every step of the way.

Her squeeze on your hand faded, which you just attributed to the blonde being tired. But then her eyes closed… and then you couldn’t hear her breathing. You jolted when the heart rate monitor started going off.

Suddenly, there were 4-5 hospital staff members in the room, pushing you aside. You stood in the corner of the room, with your hands over your mouth, silent tears flooding down your face. You heard the designated coding sound come from the machine, and you collapsed onto the floor. Everything went numb.

You could vaguely hear a nurse giving you her condolences. You didn’t even reliaze that you were walking out of the room until you stood in front of the group that loved Alex the most. You were violently shaking, you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

Liz was the first own to come up to you, to see what was wrong. And Liz was the first one to understand… You fell to your knees and cried into your hands, not caring anymore. You’d lost the love of your life, your wife, your everything.

Liz looked more emotional and out of control than she’d ever been. She kept stammering that it couldn’t be true, but once a doctor came out and told the entire group the news, Liz let out a distraught wail, covering her face in her hands as she sobbed. Casey immediately buried herself in Liz’s embrace which Liz of course accepted. The last thing you remember about that day was Rita coming up to you and embracing you on the floor…

~~~

Alexandra Cabot Masterlist

Olivia Benson Masterlist

Casey Novak Masterlist

Elizabeth Donnelly Masterlist ~Coming Soon (;

Rita Calhoun Masterlist ~Coming Soon (;

Amanda Rollins Masterlist ~Coming Soon (;

#alex cabot #alexandra cabot #alex cabot x reader #Alex Cabot angst #Ada Cabot #Ada Alex Cabot #Ada Alexandra Cabot #Alexandra Cabot x reader #Alexandra Cabot angst #stephanie march #olivia benson #elizabeth donnelly #liz donnelly #casey novak #rita calhoun #john munch #donald cragen #fin tutuola #nick amaro #law and order #law and order special victims unit #law and order svu #law and order fanfiction #law and order fic #law & order #law & order svu #law & order special victims unit #svu #SVU angst #law and order x reader

[rqgnarok]

leave a light on - nolan price

prequel for love you better now, but can be read individually

fandom: law & order, law & order special victims unit

wc: 4,735

warnings: canon presence of injuries, blood, violence, weapons, and hospitals. female reader.

summary: nolan's wife gets shot. he tries and fails to deal with that.

author's note below! masterlist / ko-fi / ao3

Nolan misses Liv’s call thrice before he calls for a recess.

The first two he’s stuck cross-examining the DA’s witness and he doesn’t realize how many times Liv has tried to get him on the phone until the third time she calls. He can’t answer, obviously– Judge MacNamara is lenient but not enough for Nolan to take a call in the middle of the day– but the call goes to voicemail and his screen lights up with Liv’s other attempts to reach him.

He immediately knows it’s bad. And he immediately knows it’s about his wife.

His chest constricts with his panic, breath catching and refusing to enter his lungs as his brain tries to catch up to the situation. The courtroom is suddenly too small and suffocating, his tie a noose around his neck.

It takes McNamara calling his name several times and the DA snidely wondering if the defense needs a minute for Nolan to somewhat snap out of it, pressing on Liv’s contact before the judge finishes adjourning for the day.

“Nolan,” she says, shaky. 

Not Price, which is what he’d expect from his wife’s coworker. They’re all friends, sure, but during work hours they fall into the habit of keeping everyone at arm’s length. Not right now, for some reason, and Nolan is tiptoeing the line between fine and about to crumble on the courthouse steps from a knock-out panic attack. 

“What happened?” Because something must’ve happened. His wife has one of the most dangerous jobs out there, life-endangering experiences being the norm and coming home not-dead being a good day. But if Liv is calling– if Liv is calling and (Y/N) isn’t…

Nolan has been psyching himself up for this day since (Y/N) first told him about joining the police academy. He’s still somehow not ready. 

He will never be ready for this. 

Olivia hesitates for a second too long and Nolan’s fear gets the best of him. “Olivia. What happened?”

Her voice cracks at (Y/N)’s name. Nolan grips his briefcase so tightly on the way to the hospital that his hand goes numb, nails digging into the skin of his palm until it’s red and tender. 

The knot of anxiety in his belly doesn’t unclench despite the quick, easy ride to the hospital. New York traffic seems to be doing him a favor, but it isn’t the physical distance he’s worried about. That one at least he’s able to cross. There’s nothing he can do if his wife is… if she…

Nolan finds a sea of cops and NYPD blue as soon as he crosses the threshold into Bellevue, worried and talking over each other as they watch over one of their injured own. None of them are familiar faces and his panic increases tenfold, the sound of his heartbeat in his ears drowning out doctors, officers, and detectives. 

Suddenly, the sea of people parts for her, and Olivia is in his line of sight, giving Nolan’s brain something to focus on other than the never-ending possibilities of what he might be facing here. She looks disheveled, shirt askew and vest still halfway on; her hair out of place, and her expression haunted, but no blood. There’s no blood on her and it's an important distinction for Nolan to make when she seizes his free hand in hers.

“Nolan,” she says, and her voice sounds like static, just like it did on the phone. It isn’t the line but Nolan’s brain filled with noise, like cotton in his ears and mouth and eyes stopping him from receiving the world clearly. “Nolan, are you okay?”

“What happened?” he asks again. Liv hadn’t explained, not really. She only told him that (Y/N) was hurt and they were taking her to Bellevue. You should come too, she’d said, and should had sounded more like need, which did nothing to soothe Nolan’s raising hackles.

Nolan’s breath stutters. He knows what happened, but he can’t comprehend it. The hand holding his briefcase is shaking. He asks once more when Liv only blinks at him, mouth open and no words coming out. “What happened?”

“We were chasing a suspect via foot,” and Nick’s there, too, by Liv’s side, like an apparition Nolan might’ve conjured. His brows are furrowed, jaw tense. “We caught him mid-rape and separated to cover more ground. No one had mentioned a gun during their disclosures, he wasn’t supposed to be armed.”

“(Y/N) caught up to him first,” Liv continues, voice dry, shaking her head. “He– Shots went off but we didn’t know– he must’ve known we were onto him. Got his hands on a gun after the first wave of assaults.”

Nolan bites the inside of his cheek. He tastes blood and thinks of his wife, and stops.  

“She was alone for two minutes tops,” Nolan wonders if Liv thinks she’s being reassuring. “She’d been shot, we called a bus right away.”

“Where?” Nolan asks tightly.

Liv blinks. Nick answers, “What?”

“Where, where in her body was she shot, how–” he struggles for a full breath and only comes out half successful. “How bad is it?”

Silence. 

“Did you– did you not see her?” he wonders, biting. Nolan turns back and forth between his wife’s coworkers, losing his patience. “Were you there, was she– Jesus, Liv, how bad is it?”

“The bullet hit her chest,” Nolan loses all fiery, defensive passion right then and there. His own heart stops for a second, or at least that’s what it feels like when his chest is engulfed by a pressing ache that numbs him all over. 

“They took her straight into surgery,” Nick continues when Nolan doesn’t say anything to that, unable to leave his partner to the wolves. “Liv rode with her in the ambulance but there wasn’t– it’s in their hands now. They’re taking care of her, pal, okay? She’s getting help.”

Where was the help when she was alone chasing after a fucking criminal, where the hell were you, huh he wants to say; wants to shout and curse and point and make a scene, but the words get stuck in his throat and in the next blink he finds himself seated in the waiting room, still surrounded by cops.

God, Nolan thinks, pressing his fingers to his tightly closed lids. When, in their fifteen years of knowing each other, could he have seen this coming? The bright-eyed, furiously righteous kid halfway through law school and the pretty girl who took one of his classes as an elective, only to completely destroy one of his classmates during a debate that made up half their grade.

Nolan had watched, mouth barely open in amazement as quiet, back-of-the-class (Y/N) didn’t flinch while delivering the final blow and bringing her team to victory. She snuck out before he could talk to her– do something stupid like congratulate her with stars in his eyes and an invitation for coffee on his tongue, but it didn’t matter.

It didn’t matter because the next weekend his roommate dragged him to a party and she was there, she was everywhere now that Nolan was unconsciously looking out for her. He ran into her in the hallways from one class to another, in the library, at parties and restaurants. It was like the world was screaming at him here! Here, look this way! Here it is, the rest of your life waiting for you! All you gotta do is look! 

He’d been there for hours already, bored and annoyed out of his mind when he saw her across the room. After nursing the same red cup of warm beer and looking at his watch every couple of minutes, calculating the appropriate time to bail he saw her. She’d been leaning against a wall, her expression changing from concealed humor to disbelief to a laugh that had her hiding behind her hand, entertained by whoever she’d been speaking to.

Who it was, Nolan doesn’t remember. He doesn’t even think about the cliche of it all, how the world faded when their eyes locked across the room and (Y/N) gave him a smile, shy, shrugging and turning back to her conversation. 

The funny pressure on his chest didn’t dissipate when he finally got a chance to exchange words with her. After the final exam, Nolan left the lecture hall and sat heavily on a bench by the door, catching his breath from the adrenaline of a month worth of study finally being over. 

(Y/N) was there, too, smiling sheepishly up at him as she crouched against the wall, elbows on her knees. Her expression brims with shy recognition as she nods. “How’d you do?”

She was talking about the exam. Nolan’s embarrassed to this day by the time it took for him to catch up. His cheeks were flushed when he answered. “I’m, uh, not flushing out yet, I hope.”

“You don’t sound too sure.”

“Ask me after I’ve slept some 12 hours,” he sighed, messing nervously with his hair. “Things usually seem less dire by then.”

“Would some coffee do the trick?” and Nolan didn’t know it then, but (Y/N) was nervous, bravery swelling inside her chest as she asked him for the first day of the rest of their lives. In the end, she’d been the one to catch up to all the signs, all the serendipitous opportunities to finally end up where they were supposed to. 

“Coffee can work,” Nolan, young and eager, said slowly. He couldn’t stop grinning, high with lack of sleep and the attention of a pretty girl. “You’re buying?”

“It’s only fair,” she shrugged, but there was something giddy about her expression that he still sees in her face to this day sometimes, bright and young. “You look like you’re about to drop dead.”

“And I still seem like worthy company?”

“I think we can pull a few good hours out of you yet,” a few hours, a few years; Nolan will be as sleepless as he was then on his wedding day out of pure excitement. They’ll have spent the night before the ceremony talking on the phone while they slept in separate rooms because their friends are sentimental little fucks like that and wouldn’t let him even kiss her goodbye before the big day. 

He’d described the few hours apart as agony in his vows, had made the crowd laugh and (Y/N) cry with the sentiment, and he wishes he hadn’t now. He shouldn’t have said a damned thing, shouldn’t have manifested any sort of agony into their lives because now the illusion cuts off sharply, and then he’s back in the waiting room, a nurse calling (Y/N)’s name while he plays with his wedding ring and bites the inside of his cheek, staring blankly into the hallway. 

Liv’s still there for some reason, as are some other officers and Amaro, while the others hunt down the man who landed their friend in the hospital. Munch had snapped at the Captain when he told him he couldn’t stay. Fin had to lead Amanda out of the hospital by the shoulders, too stricken to do it herself. 

Liv and Amaro stand when they hear the nurse but it takes Nolan a few moments to gather himself back together enough to pay attention. She tells them, gently, “She’s out of surgery. She lost a lot of blood, but only some of the bullet’s fragments hit her heart. It was touch and go but the doctor was able to extract all of them.”

Nolan’s lungs open up and he gets the first full breath washing over his body since Liv called. He must make a sound, because the attention in the room shifts to him, suffocating and inquisitive. His vision blurs for a second, not because of tears but adrenaline, his heartbeat pumping in his ears.

“She’s extremely lucky,” she continues, and she’s looking right at Nolan when she says this, like it's supposed to help. Like that’s what luck means, almost-but-not-quite bleeding out while your heart is stitched up back together. “Most people with injuries like this don’t even make it past the ambulance.”

Nolan closes his eyes in anguish. He presses his closed fists against his forehead, elbows on his knees, back hunched. It’s almost like he’s trying to disappear into himself, away from the image of an ambulance opening its doors when arriving at the hospital only to be met with his flatlining wife, the sound echoing through his brain and overriding every other of his senses.  

“There’s still a long way to go,” she continues, softer, realizing she’s hit a nerve. She turns to Liv and Nick, who are paying rapt attention even as Nick walks close to him to put a hand on Nolan’s shoulder, tight and steady. “She won’t wake up anytime soon. Her body needs rest and to recuperate from the most acute of her injuries. And the doctor would like to talk about next steps once she does.”

Next steps, Nolan thinks. Next steps, the only next steps he’s aware of are those that lead to his wife, the nurse walking him to her room. Olivia and Amaro trail behind him like a couple of guard dogs, standing alert for any sign of Nolan backing out or collapsing into his grief.

He just might. He feels queasy, nauseous with exhaustion and worry. But then he sees his wife, and, really, nothing else matters. 

“Sweetheart,” he says, devastated, walking to her bed across the hospital room. “Oh, honey.”

Despite his eagerness to touch her, Nolan flails when (Y/N)’s finally within arms reach. She looks asleep for one blissful, hopeful moment, but then Nolan blinks and the light settles; the ashiness of her skin, the uncomfortable placing of her body, the blank expression devoid of dreams or nightmares or consciousness. 

He’d usually be embarrassed to have a witness to such a personal display of affection, but not even Liv and Nick standing tall at the door can stop Nolan from eventually cupping (Y/N)’s face in his hands and kissing the apple of her cheek, lingering and gentle. He’s afraid of touching the rest of her, of jostling her too badly, but the steady noise of the heart rate monitor is a constant, loud reminder that (Y/N) won’t fall apart that easily.

Liv and Nick linger behind him, talking quietly amongst themselves in sharp whispers. It might or might not be an argument, and in Nolan’s mind it feels like both an eternity and a couple of seconds. He would kick them out if he could gather the energy to care about it. Eventually, Benson takes a few apprehensive steps into the room, seemingly having lost whatever fight she and her partner were having. 

“We’re on our way out,” she murmurs. “There’s a lead on our guy, the Captain’s calling us all back to the precinct. But if there’s anything…”

She trails off. Nolan doesn’t answer, studies instead the bridge of (Y/N)’s nose and the shape of her eyebrows, tries to count her eyelashes and catalog the bruises on her face. Liv sighs defeatedly and reaches for him.  

“Whatever you need,” Liv says firmly with a hand on his arm. Still, her steady presence is undermined by the way she keeps looking at (Y/N) like she’s already attending a funeral. Nolan suddenly can’t stand her, even if she rode the ambulance with (Y/N) to the hospital and kept her semi-conscious until the doctors took her off her hands. “We’re here for you, alright? All of us, Nolan. I’m serious.”

“Thanks,” he says, voice rough and cracked from swallowing down his panic and tears. He clears his throat but it does little to clear up his words. “Thank you, Liv. For everything.”

Her lips tighten in an unpleased line, but she nods and leaves the room with one last squeeze to his shoulder. He’s being ungrateful, the fact doesn’t escape him. Liv’s the one who found her, who held her hand in the ambulance before they drove her off to surgery. Nolan owes Benson his life.

The thought alone makes him so nauseous he has to clench his eyes shut, jaw tight, entire body trembling. God, what would he have done? What will he do, if something happens to (Y/N)? She isn’t out of the woods yet and if something goes wrong, if her body decides to cave in, if the wound gets infected, if there’s something they didn’t catch, if, if, if, if–

He lifts his head and catches his wife’s face, lax and motionless. Once again, the panic settles. He hasn’t gotten the chance to let it unfold the way it needs to. 

“I finally got you on your own,” Nolan says, soft, careful not to disturb the semblance of peace in the room. (Y/N) doesn’t answer, no matter how badly Nolan wants her to. “You’re very popular. A tough one to find these days, you know.”

She wasn’t even supposed to be in today. Cragen had called mere hours after they’d gone to bed– at the same time for the first time in weeks– and Nolan had done his best to stay up after the phone rang and (Y/N) began quickly getting ready. She’d kneeled next to his side of the bed and Nolan had leaned in to kiss her without thought, an automatic notion he wishes he’d paid more attention to now. 

I’ll call you when I can, she nudged her nose against his temple before pressing a kiss there. Nolan had already been half asleep at that point. Love you.

Love you back, Nolan mumbled, jutting his chin forward blindly. One more. 

He continues as if (Y/N) had spoken. “You’ve got half of the NYPD out there waiting on you. The nurses are rioting, but I don’t think anyone’ll leave until you wake up.”

Nolan’s voice loses the battle, it breaks right at the end of his sentence and so does his composure, eyes burning with tears that for some goddamned reason just won’t fall.

“Please,” he begs to the sky, to God, to no one. “Please, please, please. Wake up.”

He presses his forehead to his wife’s limp hand maybe a little too harshly. Even if the skin is cold and her grip is nonexistent, the relief the touch brings Nolan has him sobbing.

An hour ago she was in surgery, out of reach and sight even if she was already getting help.

Three hours ago she was bleeding out in some alleyway in Queens, struggling for her radio to call for help. Seven hours ago she was kissing him goodbye, smiling against his mouth despite the dark nature of the sudden case because Nolan kept pulling her in for one more kiss.

One more, one more, one more, his pleads begs now. Wake up and give me one more, sweetheart, come on now.

“Please, honey,” he whispers, wet and nasal with emotion. “I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready yet, I didn’t– I don’t–”

The words don’t come. Nolan chokes, holds (Y/N)’s hand in his own, and breathes, breathes, and breathes. 

—

Life moves on. 

Nolan doesn’t cry. God knows why, but he can’t, his body on automatic while his mind solely focuses on (Y/N)’s condition. The nurses know him by name and he makes record time to the apartment and back to the hospital for showers and quick naps, some food for the little appetite he has. 

He doesn’t even think to be offended when his boss places him on indefinite leave. Nolan can’t bring himself to care, he would’ve stacked up every sick day and vacation time available to stay at (Y/N)’s side as much as he could anyway. 

The squad offers to stand guard almost daily, which Nolan appreciates, but his object permanence has gone to shit. Whenever he doesn’t have eyes on (Y/N) his panic rises again like a tidal wave, never quite crashing but dwindling whenever he sits next to her at the hospital, hand on her ankle or arm or somewhere he can easily look for her pulse, weak but steady. 

It’s desperate, he knows, and more than a little pathetic, but Nolan feels like he’s allowed. Until (Y/N) wakes up to tell him he’s been worrying over nothing he will do as he pleases.

He talks to her. It’s another coping method that borders on delusion but no one has called him out of it yet. Not even Liv and Amaro, who have caught him more than once speaking quietly into the lull of the hospital room, holding his wife’s hand and drawing soothing motions with his thumb against her skin.

Mom drove into the steps again. The ones in the driveway? They were already loose from last time and now she has Dad driving through every Home Depot in North Carolina to find the right match. 

Jill sends her best. Last time I saw her she was talking my ear off about her kid’s college fund. Apparently her husband lost half of it during Tuesday night with the boys, whatever that means.

Munch says he owes you 20 bucks from the Giants game from two weeks ago? Which is weird, because you haven’t watched a full game since, like, ‘02. Not like you’re missing anything, but still, your accuracy to outsmart Munch in his own line of work is pretty outstanding. 

It helps. Or it helps enough; whenever he ventures over what they’ll do once she’s awake and at home together the illusion breaks and so does Nolan’s voice. He trails off, feeling foolish, the weight of his delusion pressing on his chest.    

“It’s not silly,” Munch tells him during one of his visits, the book he’s been reading to (Y/N) resting on his lap. “It’s helpful and it doesn’t hurt anyone. You’re talking to your wife. If I’d done more of that back in my day then maybe I’d still be married.”

“To which one?” Nolan asks, his lips tingling with the want to almost smile.

Munch points at him as if saying yahtzee. “Exactly.”

He’s so sure it calms Nolan more than you’d expect. So far Munch is the only other person who talks about (Y/N) like she’s still alive and thus, the only one who doesn’t make inexplicable helpless rage wash over Nolan whenever they’re in the same room. 

He’s the one with him when (Y/N) wakes. She does so in a panic, waking Nolan up from his uncomfortable sleep in the chair next to her bed. It’s a sudden flail after another as her heart rate monitor goes crazy and she doesn’t answer any call of her name, terrified and in pain.

It’s awful. Nolan doesn’t think he’ll ever forget how she almost tears at her stitches mid her panic while doctors and nurses gather around her and kick Nolan out with quick accuracy. There’s nothing he can do to help and he knows it, but he’s never supposed to be in a position in which he can’t help her.

He’s doomed to watch from a glass window, helpless, as his wife suffers without anyone to reach out to.  

She woke up but had to be sedated, a nurse tells him after, it’s normal for patients to be unaware of their surroundings after waking up from long periods of unconsciousness. We still haven’t been able to determine neurological damage, so we’ll have to wait until it wears off. 

“Kid, kid, hey,” Munch says, oddly alarmed after coming back from the cafeteria with two coffees and finding Nolan sitting outside (Y/N)’s room, crying into his knees. “What’s wrong, what happened? I was gone for fifteen minutes–”

Nolan tries to explain but the words get caught up in his throat, his grief taking over his sense of logic. She woke up, he meant to say. She woke up and she didn’t know where she was and I stood by like an idiot to watch her suffer. 

After he’s talked down from a panic attack he says, voice a mere croak. “She woke up. They don’t know– but she woke up.”

Munch sighs, visibly relieved as he squats next to Nolan, squeezing his shoulder in support. “Good. That’s good, hey– Nolan. That’s good, okay? That’s one step closer to getting her back. This is good.”

He repeats those words to himself like a mantra. This is good, this is good, this is good, and doesn’t dare to close his eyes for something other than blinking until (Y/N)’s conscious. It’s hours later, deep into the night when she opens her eyes again, groggy and disoriented, blinking into the dark hospital room. 

“Honey,” he says, quiet and so, so relieved. (Y/N) doesn’t appear to hear him and a flash of fear seizes his heart. He presses the button and calls for a nurse, edging closer to the bed. “(Y/N/N). Hey, honey, you with me?”

Arduously slowly, (Y/N) follows the sound of his voice. She blinks at him, gulping and saying, dry as the Sahara. “Nole.”

It’s the most glorious thing he’s ever heard. The smile that pulls at his mouth is unconscious, ripped from him almost against his will. He goes to touch her face, hands shaky and reverent. “Yeah. Yeah, sweetheart, it’s me.”

He offers her a drink and grips her hand all through the nurse’s examination, which she passes with flying colors. While she’s tinkering with her IV, (Y/N) asks him, “Bellevue?”

“Yeah,” he says grimly, thumb rubbing soothing motions against her skin, trying to infuse some warmth. 

“Shot?” she wonders next.

Nolan hesitates. “You don’t remember?”

“Guessin’,” she slurs, tired, blinks getting longer each time she closes her eyes. 

The nurse pipes up then with the same explanations she’s given Nolan the past few weeks: the bullet to her heart, the long-lasting surgery, and the even longer coma. (Y/N) nods in all the right places but her head rests against the pillow and her expression remains blank, like she’s not retaining any information.

“Anyone… else?” she asks.

“No,” Nolan responds, watching how tension falls off her frame when he confirms this fact. He wishes he felt the same, a selfish part of him wishes it had been someone else; Liv or Amaro or Fin here in this hospital bed instead of his wife. It’s true, even if the thought is followed by guilt. “No, everyone’s fine, honey. Working their asses off and worried out of their minds, but okay. It’s just you.”

(Y/N) hums and then promptly falls back asleep, breaths settling into an even rhythm. It’s then that his eyes water and his tears fall on the scratchy hospital sheets where (Y/N) lays.  Oh, Nolan thinks, almost surprised by them. So this is what it takes.  

Nolan bows his head and lets himself cry in silence. His breath keeps hitching, and the nauseating feeling of panic he’s been nursing for weeks finally explodes. He can’t feel his hands and feet, body numb all over. 

The next time he looks up, hours later, is because (Y/N)’s reaching to touch his face, tender and shaky. He snaps to attention like a soldier called to his battalion, but there’s no trouble chasing after them, no bad thing happening for once. They’re okay, alone and safe in her hospital room while nurses and doctors and visitors keep passing by just outside the door.

“You haven’t slept,” (Y/N) croaks out as she drops her hand from where she’d been gently pressing at the bags under Nolan’s eyes, tired from that simple movement. Her chest rises and falls with breaths that are a little too labored, but her eyes are fixed on her husband, worried. “Nole.”

It almost makes him smile: (Y/N) worrying about other people while she lies with a hole in her heart on a hospital bed. Nolan would laugh if he were sure it wouldn’t immediately turn into crying again, but there’s nothing funny about this. Nothing.

“‘m alright,” he promises, weak and croaky and wet from previous cries. (Y/N) looks a little too out of it, but also like she doesn’t believe him for a moment. He amends: “I will be. And so will you. You’re gonna be okay, honey.”

happy new year!!! i wanted to start the year giving you a little something after being so absent the last couple of months and i've had this piece in my drafts for ages! it was originally waaay longer but i thought i'd end it on a happy note and maybe make a part two if anyone's interested?

anyway! i hope you guys enjoy what has become one of my favorite pairings to write and i hope you had a good time last night and a great 2024! thank you for reading!

<3

#leo writes #nolan price x reader #law and order #law & order #special victims unit #svu x reader #law and order fic #law and order fanfiction #reader insert #nolan price #olivia benson #nick amaro #john munch #donald cragen #captain cragen #amanda rollins #fin tutuola #odafin tutuola #fanfiction #one shot

[elliot-olivia]

#svuedit #svu #fin tutuola #john munch #munch x fin #svu12 #12x08 #mygifs #ice t #richard belzer

[incorrectcabensonquotes]

John: So, did you kiss her?

Olivia: No, the moment wasn't right. Look, Alex could be my future wife and I want our first kiss to be amazing.

Fin: Aww, Liv, that's so sweet! You chickened out like a little bitch and now you're making excuses.

#incorrect cabenson quotes #cabenson #alex cabot #olivia benson #john munch #fin tutuola #olivia x alex #mariska hargitay #ice t #richard belzer #law and order svu #special victims unit #source: submission #over 50 #over 75 #over 100

[incorrectbensler]

Munch: I wonder what would happen if they took the best parts of all of us and made one super SVU Detective? We'd start with my looks, of course.

Fin: My brain. Liv's heart.

Olivia: Elliot's eyes.

Elliot:

Olivia:

Elliot: Thank you.

#source: sue thomas fbeye #I had to change this a bit but it was too good #incorrect quotes #incorrect law and order #incorrect svu #john munch #fin tutuola #olivia benson #elliot stabler #bensler #elliot x olivia

[storywriter12]

I know I haven't publish for a while especially my split book so chapter 6 of my split book is now up, also my Olivia and Rafael chapter 8 is now up on wattpad

#wattpad #fanfic #split movie #james mcavoy #Split Dennis #Hedwig #my own character #law and order svu #olivia benson #rafael barba #barson #Olive x Rafael #baby #elliot stabler #fin tutuola #john munch #bobby goren

[iobsessoverfictionalmen]

The Unsealed Skies (4)

Warnings: mentions of family deaths, past infidelity, Thor spoilers, arguments, and insults.

“I’m not very fond of you mortals either.”

The activity in the squad room crashed to a standstill and you rose to your full height, “You are not welcome here Ares.”

“You have forgotten what it means to be a god.  These mortals do not deserve your help.”

Loki gnashed his teeth together, “Whatever my sister chooses to do is no concern of yours, kin killer.”

“You are as hypocritical as my family was.  You sought the destruction of Jotunheim and nearly destroyed the realm thereby plunging the Nine Realms into chaos.”

Loki started forwards but your arm snapped out and pulled him back, “What?” He hissed.  “I am to be judged by this weak excuse for a god?”

You shook your head, “Listen.”

Holding his tongue Loki did as you instructed and then his frown grew deeper, “The company that is approaching is not the pleasant type.  The girl you saved gave an interview.”

“She spoke to the press.”  Olivia confirmed, exiting her office in a rush.

“I’ll head ‘em off.”  John declared, striding out of the squad room.

“Thanks Munch.  That should buy you enough time to flee.”

“Flee?  Olivia, what?  Why?  If this is because I didn’t tell you-”

“It’s not.”  Olivia cut you off, “You did the right thing but with Thor and Loki and New York, the world can’t handle any more gods right now.  When it comes out that the Greek and Norse Gods were going to be connected because you two were to be united in marriage, all hell’s going to break loose.  Our past cases will be reopened and the DA’s office will be inundated with calls that you used your power to force people into admitting guilt.  That’ll be enough for several retrials and for judges to claim reasonable doubt.  Kim will do what she can but we can’t have any more fuel added to the fire.”

“This isn’t fair!  She did the right thing saving that girl.”  Sonny burst out.

“And look how she is treated because of it.”

“No one asked you!  If you hadn’t cheated on her, she wouldn’t have needed to hide for so long!”

“Hours ago, you told me to run to protect someone.  Now I’m telling you to run to protect yourself.” 

“Liv…I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologise for.  Go!”

Loki and Ares reached for you but Ares was closer and quicker.  You were swept into the god’s embrace and the room around you blurred.

#my writing #my fics #norse goddess reader #law and order: svu #wonder woman 2017 #ares #ares x reader #loki friggasson #fin tutuola #sonny carisi #olivia benson #john munch #the unsealed skies #loki would go to war for frigga and the reader

[fanficwritinggirl]

Chapter 3

Weeks had passed since that night. Olivia sat across from Elliot every day, taking glances at him every once and a while but he never looked her way. Things were different between them; it would never be the way that it was before. She couldn’t stand them being like this and she wanted to do something but Elliot was ‘taking some time off’ as Cragen said which meant that she couldn’t do much now, all she could do was wait for him to come back, she wasn’t going to be that girl who would call him over and over again waiting to hear where he was.  

Sitting at her desk, Olivia sighed as she looked at all of the paperwork that had to be done. Another negative with Elliot being away was that all of the paperwork was left for her to do, meaning that she was at the precinct until late, not that she didn’t do that before but now it was all the time. She was exhausted, not that she would admit that.  

Olivia groans as she puts her head in her hands, a wave of nausea goes through her and she takes a deep breathe. “You okay Olivia” Alex asks her as she stands over her desk with a cup of coffee in her hands. Olivia looks up and nods.  

“Yeah, I'm fine just tired” Olivia comments before turning back to the paperwork. Alex nods at her before walking over and knocking on Cragen's door. Olivia sighs again before picking up her pen and writing.  

Minutes later, Fin and Munch walk in with food in their hands. “Hey Liv” Fin says walking over to her with his sandwich in his hand.  

“We talked to that witness for the case and lets the vibes that they were giving me and the way they were acting makes me think that there is something going on wi...” Fin tells her. Olivia gets a whiff of his sandwich and her hand goes to her mouth and she shoots up of her chair and runs towards the toilets.  

Alex and Cragen come out of his office with confused looks on their faces. “What's going on?,” Cragen asks Fin who all he can do is shrug. “No idea cap, but I will say that she did look a little pale,” he comments. Alex nods, “she didn’t look great when I came in either, I'm going to go check on her,” she says before walking off towards the toilet. “Alex makes sure you tell her that if she is sick then take a day, I don’t need a sick detective” he calls to her. Alex nods, “got it.”  

Alex walks into the toilet and hears Liv throwing up in the stall. “Liv” she says as she knocks on the stall. Olivia groans, “I'm fine” she calls. Alex shakes her head and sighs. “Liv come on we both know you not fine”. Olivia opens the stall door and looks at Alex before walking to the sink. “Seriously Alex I am fine,” she repeats while washing her hands. “Maybe you should take a sick day, I mean you have been working you ass off since Stabler decided to take some time off” she comments and Olivia shakes her head with a slight smirk on her face. “Trust me, him taking time off was the best thing for him and me” Olivia comments before walking to the door. “What does that mean” Alex asks curiously. Olivia freezes for a second before speaking, “nothing, we just...” she sighs. “We just needed space was all” she says before opening the door and walking out.  

Alex follows her out into the hall. “Liv...” she speaks but Olivia cuts her off. “Alex please I don’t need this right now "she starts as she turns and faces Alex. “No, I'm not going to pry I just need to tell you that Cragen says to take a day. He says he doesn’t need a sick detective”. Olivia looks at her and nods. “Okay, thanks” as she turns and walks back to her desk. Maybe taking a day would do her some good.

#olivia x elliot #Olivia Benson #elliot stabler #elliot stabler x reader #amanda rollins #dominic carisi #fin tutuola #eli stabler jr #eli stabler #noah porter benson #law and order svu #law and order organized crime #donald cragen #john munch

[fatecantstopme]

The Connection

Pairing: Elliot Stabler x reader

Summary: Elliot Stabler is your best friend and has been for years. When he and Kathy get divorced, you let yourself wonder what it would be like to be with him...despite your current relationship status. Elliot's jealously will either bring you together or tear you apart.

Warnings: Divorce. Panic Attack. Gun shot wounds. Mentions of death. Hospital. Cursing. Use of pet names. SMUT, oral (M & F receiving), face sitting, unprotected sex (P in V)

It had been eight months since Elliot and Kathy had divorced. Eight months Elliot had spent alone, trying to figure out what the hell to do next. Eight months of trying to find the words to say and eight months of failing to.

The first couple months after Elliot's divorce, you thought about telling him how you felt--how you'd felt for years. You'd be lying if you said you hadn't thought about it every single day since the moment he told you they were getting divorced.

Your fear of losing your best friend was what stopped you from ever admitting your feelings. You couldn't bear to face that possibility. You’d rather have him as just your friend than nothing at all.

But everything changed for you when you met a handsome stranger just outside your favorite coffee shop on your way to work. Tony, as you would later learn, was an emergency room doctor at Mercy Hospital. He had just recently moved to the city after finishing his residency at a hospital in Chicago.

Before long, you and Tony were inseparable. He was kind, charming, and funny--and he treated you better than any man ever had. You were content, happy even, despite the little voice in the back of your mind. The voice that reminded you of how much you loved Elliot--how much you needed him.

That voice was always strongest when you were together, which meant you started to pull away from him--spending more time with Tony and less with Elliot. Even though the two of you worked together and saw each other nearly every day, you tended to stay in your office and avoid too much actual contact with him if you could.

You felt badly about the distance you'd created, but you didn't know what else to do. If Elliot felt the same way, he'd never even hinted at it, let alone expressed it, so you felt the point was moot. Why put yourself through the pain of rejection if you didn't have to? Plus, you had Tony now. Focusing on your relationship with him had to be your priority.

Elliot was no fool. He watched you pull away from him after you met Tony—and he thought he knew why. He couldn’t stand to hear you talk about him—didn’t want to imagine you with someone else. Someone other than him. He had no right to feel that way and he knew it, but there are just some things you can’t control.

You’d been with Tony for 6 months when Elliot finally reached his breaking point. The two of you, along with Olivia, Munch, and Fin, were in the squad room after a particularly stressful case. You were chatting with Olivia about her latest beau and she inquired about Tony. You told her you had been canceling dinner plans with him for the last week due to your case load, but you were planning on seeing him tonight.

“He’s perfect for you, (Y/N),” Olivia said with a smile. “You always light up when you talk about him.”

You offered her a small smile in return. “He really is amazing.” You leaned forward to whisper conspiratorially. “I think he’s been shopping for rings.”

Olivia’s eyes widened. “How long’s it been?”

“6 months,” you answered.

“Damn. That’s fast.” She shrugged, “but if you know, then you know.”

You opened your mouth to tell her that you didn’t know, but Elliot beat you to it. “Jesus, (Y/L/N), I didn’t expect you to just marry the first guy who jumped in your bed. When did you turn into such a needy slut?”

Your face paled and you stepped back as if he’d slapped you. He knew you well enough to know exactly what to say to hurt you and he didn’t pull his punches.

“What the hell, Elliot?” Olivia snapped.

Elliot avoided making eye contact with you—immediately regretting his outburst. He wasn’t one to apologize, and to be honest, he wasn’t very good at it, but he felt the strong urge to beg for your forgiveness.

“I shouldn’t've—“ he started.

“Leave it,” you cut in. “Whatever it is you were about to say, just don’t.” You grabbed your coat and your bag before turning back in his direction. “I’m going to dinner with a man who treats me with respect and genuinely cares about me. I would think you of all people would be happy for me.” You paused. “I know you're tired and stressed, but you don't have the right to take it out on me. I'm your friend, Elliot, although given what you just said to me, I'm not even sure about that."

With that, you walked out the door, never slowing or sparing a glance behind you.

Elliot felt terrible in more ways than one as he watched you leave. He could feel the gazes of his friends, but he couldn’t bear to look at them. “I’m going home,” he mumbled.

“Yeah, maybe you should get some sleep before you insult anyone else,” Fin said none too gently.

In any other situation, Elliot would have clapped back, but the fact that he'd just hurt you like that made him keep his mouth shut. He threw on his coat and stormed out of the precinct before anyone else could speak.

The entire way home, Elliot was fuming. He was mad at himself, mad at Tony, but most of all he was mad at you. Mad that you found someone who fit you so perfectly. Mad that you wanted someone else. Mad that you were happy. God help him--he felt terrible for it--hated himself, even. What kind of person felt this way about their best friend? Wasn't he supposed to be your number one supporter? Your biggest champion?

He was filled with regret as he entered his small apartment. It was mostly empty and completely devoid of personality. He had pictures of his kids, but not much else.

There was, however, one particularly special picture in the living room. He walked over to it and picked up the frame, his heart clenching as he stared at it. It was a picture of you and him on a random Saturday. He'd dragged you to the park for an early morning run, which he knew you hated. You'd gotten your revenge by pushing him into a pond beside the running path.

After you'd stopped laughing, you tried to help him out of the water, but he pulled you in with him, leaving you both soaking wet and laughing hysterically. When you made it back to dry land, you'd dragged him close and snapped a picture of the two of you--muddy, wet, and laughing.

The picture really showcased your personality--light, bubbly, happy, and just a bit goofy. It was his favorite picture and one of his favorite moments with you...it was the moment he realized he loved you. A feeling he'd never expressed, even though he'd felt it long before he and Kathy solidified their divorce.

It was almost two years later and he still hadn't told you how he felt. And now that he was a free man--and had been for a while--you'd found the man of your dreams. He'd managed to blow his chance to be with you and now it was too late.

The picture suddenly became blurry and he sat it back down on the table before wiping his eyes. He wasn't good with emotions and he was thankful no one was there to witness this particular display.

He tried to push all thoughts of you from his mind as he wandered around his kitchen, scrounging up something to eat. He tried not to picture you at dinner with Tony. He tried not to imagine what you would do after dinner. He tried not to think about anything at all...but no matter what he did, you plagued his mind from the moment you'd walked out the door. He decided to go out to a bar and get himself a drink or two. It was Friday after all and he'd had a long week. Why not blow off some steam?

You weren't in the best of moods when you met Tony for dinner that night. Elliot's words echoed in your ears and the feeling of hurt had yet to dissipate. He'd never lashed out at you like that before. Not once. You'd heard him do it to other people, especially when he was angry or frustrated--but he'd never done it to you. You weren't sure what it meant now that he had, but you were certain it wasn't good.

Tony picked up on your mood immediately and he was obviously concerned. He'd asked if you were alright, if you wanted to reschedule...but you'd told him it had just been a long week and not to worry.

"You seem distracted, (Y/N)," Tony commented gently. "Are you sure you're okay?"

You looked up from the food you'd been playing with on your plate and sighed. "Sorry, Tony. I've got a lot on my mind."

He nodded. You could tell he wanted to probe deeper, but he wisely opted to back off. He started to chatter about some new resident at the hospital, complaining about how green the kid was, and your mind began to drift.

You knew you should have been paying attention, but you really couldn't find the energy to--or perhaps desire was the better word. All you could think about was Elliot. When had everything gone so wrong? How did it all become so fucked up? Why did you care so much? He clearly didn't.

A single tear slid down your cheek and dropped onto your plate, surprising you out of your thoughts. You hadn't realized you'd been crying until that moment. You quickly wiped your eyes, hoping Tony wouldn't notice. When you glanced up at him, you knew he'd seen and you could tell he wanted to know what the hell was going on.

The problem was, you weren't even sure what was happening. Why did you feel so damn sad? As you stared at Tony, you realized there was only one person you wanted to talk to about it...and it wasn't the man in front of you. You were hurting and you only wanted the man who'd hurt you. How fucked up was that?

"Seriously, babe, what's going on?" Tony asked gently, concern lacing his voice.

You shook your head. "I don't really wanna talk about it."

"Okay...I wouldn't normally push, but you were literally just crying into your pasta."

"I'm aware, Anthony," you said rather harshly.

He winced slightly and you sighed sadly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to snap," you said softly.

"It's okay."

There was something about the placating tone of his voice that just set you off. "No it's not! None of this is okay! I'm not okay!"

He was clearly taken aback by the intensity of your outburst and you found yourself feeling incredibly embarrassed...and perhaps a bit annoyed.

"I just--I just wanna go home," you mumbled.

"Okay," he said gently. "Why don't you go wait in the car. I'll pay the bill."

He handed you the keys and you practically ran out of the restaurant. You couldn't explain what you were feeling--it was like you were suffocating, like the very air you were breathing was toxic. Your heart was pounding out of your chest and everything just felt wrong. Your vision started to darken and you felt like you were being crushed...you fell to your knees on the sidewalk, body shaking as you started to hyperventilate.

Moments later, Tony came rushing out and dropped to his knees beside you. You could hear him asking you what was wrong, but you couldn't answer him. You hadn't recognized the signs at first, but somewhere inside you, you knew you were having a panic attack. You couldn't explain why and you certainly couldn't tell him what was happening.

You heard Tony say something about an ambulance, but your brain was too foggy to comprehend what was happening. You'd had panic attacks all your life, but this one felt different--it came on even more suddenly and it was more intense than any attack you'd ever had before. Something about it felt final...deadly.

You heard the sounds of sirens in the distance, and at first you thought they were headed for you, but they never seemed to move any closer. Your vision was almost black, your head was pounding, and you felt as if your body was full of lead--you knew you were moments away from passing out. The last thing you heard was the ringing of a cellphone in close proximity to you. Just as you realized the phone was yours, you succumbed to the blackness of unconsciousness.

A couple blocks away, an ambulance and several police officers were responding to a call for shots fired at a local bar. According to the call, one man was dead, one was critically injured, and four more were wounded.

Witnesses said a man had opened fire inside the bar after an argument had escalated. After the first few shots rang out, another man had gotten up from his seat, pulled out his gun, and identified himself as police. The first gunman pulled the trigger twice, shooting the police officer twice in the chest. As he was falling to the ground, he pulled his own trigger, killing the gunman almost instantly with a shot directly to the heart.

The officer laid on the ground, blood seeping from his wounds, terror gripping his body. His only thought was of his family, and how he would never get to see them again.

He could hear voices all around him, but he couldn't make out what they were saying. His eyes were glazed and unfocused, and he was beginning to feel cold. He knew what that meant, even if he didn't want to admit it.

He heard the scream of sirens followed by the sound of footsteps near him. He heard a man's voice ask a question, but he didn't hear the response.

He heard snippets of what was said, "Gun," "argument," "scared,"...but the one that caught his attention was "Benson." He didn't understand why someone had said his partner's name and he tried to ask, but his voice came out as nothing but incoherent sounds.

The sound of more sirens neared and he began to drift towards sleep or death...he wasn't sure which one. His eyes had closed and his body felt heavy as he took what he feared would be his last few breaths.

"Detective Benson," Olivia answered on the second ring.

"Hi, Detective. This is Officer Bailey."

"Hey, Bailey. You got a case for me?"

"Not exactly, ma'am..." he paused. "It's your partner. Detective Stabler?"

Olivia felt her blood go cold. "What about him?"

"He was involved in an incident at O'Malley's Bar on 5th," Bailey said slowly. "Bar fight turned deadly. Apparently, Detective Stabler shot the gunman."

She inhaled sharply. "Is he alright?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line that told Olivia everything she needed to know. "How bad is it?" she asked softly.

"It's bad, detective. They're taking him to Mercy Hospital. You should probably go there."

Olivia's first thought was of Elliot's kids--she needed to call them when she had more information. She didn't want to scare them if she didn't need to. "Thanks for the call. I'm heading over there now."

She hung up, grabbed her keys and her coat, then ran out the door. She intended to drive with lights and sirens to get there--policy be damned.

When she got to the first floor of her apartment building, it suddenly hit her that she should call you. Even after his comments earlier that day, Elliot was still your best friend. You'd want to know if something happened to him and you'd be beyond pissed if Olivia didn't tell you right away.

She called your phone several times as she drove to the hospital, each time leaving a voicemail begging you to call her back.

She was thankful she lived so close to the hospital and she made it there in record time. She pulled up to the emergency room entrance just as an ambulance pulled up to the front doors.

Olivia quickly got out of her car and jogged towards the entrance, but she stepped aside as EMS rushed someone through the doors. Olivia's face paled as she got a good look at the person on the gurney--you.

She ran in after them, practically running right into Tony as he came in. Olivia recognized him immediately. "What the hell happened?" she asked in a rush.

Tony looked over at her in surprise, as if he was just realizing she was there. A look of recognition crossed his face, but it was quickly replaced with confusion. "She, uh--I don't know. She collapsed outside the restaurant." He eyed her carefully. "What are you doing here?"

"Elliot was involved in some sort of altercation at a bar. They brought him here, so I came down to figure out what the hell happened."

Tony looked shocked. "When?"

"About 15 minutes ago."

Tony's face paled. "That's right about when (Y/N) collapsed..."

Olivia's eyes widened. "What are the odds of that?"

He shook his head. "I'm gonna say extremely unlikely."

She sighed and shook her head too. "I need to check in with the front desk and see what they know."

The ladies at the front desk informed Olivia that Elliot had received two GSWs to the chest and was currently in surgery. They promised to keep her updated and let her know if anything changed. She also asked them to keep her updated on your status as well. It didn't seem likely that the two incidents were connected, but she had to admit it was really damn weird.

Olivia joined Tony in the waiting room and made several phone calls to Elliot's kids and the rest of her team. She wanted to make sure they all knew what was going on. The kids were out of town with Kathy, but Fin, Munch, and Cragen all promised to come down to the hospital immediately.

When they arrived, the five of them sat in the waiting room in silence. None of them knew what to say.

About an hour after the others had arrived, a nurse came into the waiting room. "(Y/L/N)?" she called.

Tony looked up at the sound of your name. He jumped out of his seat and walked towards the nurse. "Is she okay?" he asked urgently.

The nurse nodded. "She's awake and asking for someone named Elliot."

Olivia made eye contact with Fin, who was sitting across from her. He shared her knowing glance before they both looked in Tony's direction.

"Oh, um...I'm her boyfriend. Would I be able to see her?"

The nurse nodded again. "Sure, Dr. Cooper. She's in 103."

Tony immediately headed towards your room without waiting for the nurse to follow. Olivia got up and walked over to the nurse before she could walk away. "Excuse me," she called.

The nurse turned back to her. "Yes?"

"You said (Y/N) was asking for Elliot?"

She nodded. "You know him?"

Olivia nodded her affirmation. "He's my partner. He was brought in about 2 hours ago for GSWs to the chest. I believe he's in surgery right now."

The nurse paled. "Dr. (Y/L/N) didn't have any noticeable injuries. Was she there when he was shot?"

Olivia shook her head. "She was a couple blocks away. We're not sure what happened to her."

"The doctor said it was probably an intense panic attack, based on the symptoms Dr. (Y/L/N) described."

Olivia was a little surprised, but she didn't say it. "Thank you."

The nurse nodded and headed back into the patient area. Olivia returned to her coworkers and shared the information she'd just received.

"A panic attack?" Fin asked in surprise.

Olivia nodded. "That's what the nurse said."

"At the same time Elliot got shot?" Munch asked.

"Roughly, yeah." Olivia confirmed.

"What the hell are the odds of that?" Cragen asked.

"I'd say a million to one," Munch answered.

"At least she's gonna be okay," Fin said softly.

They all nodded their agreement. No one wanted to mention their fears about Elliot's survival...they just had to hope he would pull through.

You'd been surprised to find yourself in the hospital when you awoke, but you quickly realized the intensity of your panic attack must have literally knocked you out. Tony wouldn't have known what was happening, so of course he called 911.

You checked your phone as soon as you woke up and discovered you had several missed calls and messages from Olivia. You listened to the most recent one and felt the blood drain from your face.

"(Y/N), please answer your phone! I'm getting worried. Elliot's been in some sort of altercation and it's bad. I don't know what's going on, but I'm on my way to the hospital. Please call me." Olivia's voice sounded panicked, so you knew it must be really bad.

You pressed your call button and the moment a nurse walked into the room you asked for Elliot. The nurse told you she didn't know who that was, but she said she'd go out to the waiting room to see.

Much to your dismay, the person who walked into your room 5 minutes later, was Tony. You felt terrible for feeling that way, but not seeing Elliot standing in your doorway confirmed your worst fears.

"Elliot?" you whispered, the meaning of your question very clear.

Tony sighed as he came to the side of your bed. "He's in surgery," he said gently.

Your skin was already pale, but you turned white as a sheet upon hearing those words. "What happened?"

"He was shot twice in the chest. Some guy shot several people during a bar fight and Elliot stopped him."

"How bad is it?" You didn't really wanna ask, but Tony was an ER doctor after all...he would know and he wouldn't lie to you.

His expression was sad. "It's bad, (Y/N/N)," he said honestly. "It's really bad."

You couldn't stop the tears from sliding down your cheeks. You didn't want to ask more questions--didn't really wanna know--but you needed to. "What are the odds?"

Tony shook his head, not wanting to upset you further.

"Anthony, please," you begged.

He sighed. "He might not make it through surgery, but even if he does, the chances of survival are slim. He lost a lot of blood and there was internal damage from the bullets."

You closed your eyes and took a shuddering breath. "Where's Olivia?" you whispered.

"She's out in the waiting room. Want me to get her?"

"Please," you said so softly he barely heard you.

A few minutes later, Tony reappeared in the doorway with a distraught Olivia. She pushed past him and into your room, quickly crossing the short distance to your bedside. Tony backed out of the room and out of sight.

"How are you feeling?" she asked worriedly.

"I'm fine," you answered. "I don't understand how this could happen."

Olivia knew what you meant, but she didn't have a good answer for you. Elliot didn't frequent bars alone, nor was he the type to get into any kind of bar fight. But honestly, what really bothered her was the timing of your panic attack. "Why did you have a panic attack?"

You looked at her in surprise. "I--I don't really know. It just came on suddenly."

"Right when Elliot was in trouble? That just seems...odd."

"I can't explain it. I was outside waiting for Tony to pay the bill and it hit me. I was on my knees, unable to breathe, in mere seconds."

"You know I'm not a superstitious person and I don't really believe in any of that mystical stuff, but if I did...I'd say you felt something happen to him and that's why you had the attack."

You wouldn't classify yourself as some kind of mystic either, but you were a psychologist. You'd spent years studying the human mind, and nothing about it made complete sense. The brain is the most complex part of human anatomy...so complex, in fact, that we may never fully understand it.

"I suppose it's possible," you began slowly. "We know there are examples of minds being connected in inexplicable ways, the best example being that of twins. Twins claim to be able to sense each other and understand each other in ways the rest of us could never really understand. Twins a 1,000 miles away from each other claim to know the exact moment their twin died. Some people claim to have similar bonds with siblings and significant others. So while it seems unlikely, it is entirely plausible that such a connection could be formed between two people."

"If anyone was to have a connection like that, it would be you and Elliot."

"What makes you say that?"

Olivia gave you a knowing look, one you'd seen on her face countless times before...just never directed at you. "I might not be a profiler, (Y/N), but I'm not an idiot. It doesn't take a good detective to know that the bond between you and Elliot is different--special."

"He's my best friend," you conceded, although you knew that was not what she meant.

"This goes way beyond friendship," she said simply.

She didn't elaborate and you didn't need her to. Some part of you knew she was right, or at least suspected it. But if her idea of this connection was accurate--and your interpretation of the meaning was accurate--then didn't that imply your feelings were not one-sided?

You weren't sure if you were ready to admit it, but this revelation changed everything for you. In that moment, you decided if Elliot survived this, you would tell him how you feel...consequences be damned.

**********

Two weeks went by without much change or improvement in Elliot's status. He'd made it through surgery, but he'd been in a coma ever since. The doctors weren't quite sure why...there didn't appear to be a medical cause.

You visited Elliot every single day, sometimes spending hours at his bedside talking to him. If there was even the slightest chance he could hear you, it was worth it.

That first night in the hospital had changed a lot of things for you, and it made you realize you couldn't keep pretending anymore. You broke things off with Tony, unable to lead him on any longer. He was surprisingly understanding about it, despite the obvious hurt.

The rest of the squad would stop by periodically to check in on Elliot and to see how you were holding up. You'd come back to work right away, but you'd made yourself as scarce as possible. You weren't ready to face the possibility that Elliot may never wake up, even if your coworkers were.

It was week three of Elliot's coma when you were called to testify in court for an SVU case. It wasn't a case you wanted to relive, but you'd played a vital roll in identifying the offender and your testimony was crucial.

You'd testified for a day and a half before you were finally released from court. Having done your duty, you pulled out your phone to check your messages. You were surprised to see several missed calls--all from Olivia.

Your heart clenched in your chest and terror froze your body in place. You weren't sure you wanted to listen to the message she'd left...you wanted to live in this moment just a while longer. In this moment, in this world, Elliot was still alive, but if you listened to that voicemail, that world might shatter.

You forced your body to move, making your way to a more secluded part of the courthouse before taking a deep breath and pressing 'play' on the voicemail.

"I know you're in court, but I wanted to make sure you heard this as soon as you finished up. We're all at the hospital--Elliot's awake!"

You didn't listen to the rest of the message--nothing else mattered. All you heard was "Elliot's awake!" and you were already running towards the exit. You ran at top speed all the way out of the building and to your car, pushing past anyone who got in the way.

When you reached your car, you jumped in the driver's seat and took off, ignoring almost every single traffic law in existence. All that mattered was getting to the hospital--all that mattered was Elliot.

After parking your car, you raced into the hospital and into the elevator, angrily pressing the button for the 3rd floor repeatedly. When the doors finally opened to the ICU, you sprinted from the elevator and down the hall towards Elliot's room.

You were breathless when you reached the doorway of his room, but you didn't care. Olivia, Munch, Fin, and Cragen all stood around the bed and they turned towards the door when they heard you.

You barely noticed any of them. Your focus was entirely on the man sitting up in bed, his bright blue eyes locked on yours. "Elliot," you breathed softly.

Every single person in that room felt the air shift when you entered. It didn't take a trained investigator to recognize the tension in the air. You didn't move from the doorway and your gaze didn't leave Elliot's face.

"Why don't we give you guys a moment alone?" Cragen suggested as he started to back out towards the door.

The other three followed their captain, Olivia shutting the door as she exited the room.

"Hey," Elliot murmured once the two of you were alone.

"Hi," you said softly, voice catching slightly as your emotions washed over you.

"Come here," he coaxed.

You crossed the room, stopping when you reached the side of his bed.

The two of you stared at each other in silence, emotions threatening to overwhelm both of you. It felt like everything inside you bubbled up all at once and you gasped, "I'm sorry."

Elliot spoke his apology at the exact same time. "I'm sorry."

You both let out a breathy laugh, some of the tension easing from your bodies.

"What do you have to be sorry for?" Elliot asked.

"I shouldn't have ever questioned our friendship. It was cruel."

He shook his head. "If anyone was cruel, it was me. Frankly, I deserved way worse than what you said. I didn't mean a word of it, (Y/N), not a single word."

"I know--" you began.

"Let me finish," he cut in insistently. You fell silent, allowing him to continue. "I shouldn't have called you a slut. I shouldn't have judged your relationship--it wasn't my place. I was upset and I took it out on you...it wasn't fair and I'm sorry. You deserve better."

"I appreciate that," you said quietly. "But why did you say it? You're never cruel to me...ever."

The pain in your voice nearly broke his heart in two. "I was mad at you," he mumbled. "It's stupid and it doesn't matter 'cause you're with Tony anyway and you're happy and I should be happy toorightbecauseyou'remybestfriend--"

You grabbed his arm to bring his attention back to you and cut off his ramble. "You can breathe now," you teased you lightly.

He chuckled. "Sorry."

"Don't be. I think it's cute when you ramble like that."

He rolled his eyes. "Great. I'm cute."

You grinned. "Very cute," you said in a teasing tone. As you looked at him, your smile slipped and a sad expression slid into place. "I thought I was going to lose you," you whispered.

He grabbed your hand and squeezed it tightly. "I'm harder to get rid of than that."

Tears filled your eyes, despite your attempt to smile. "What happened, Elliot?"

"They didn't tell you?"

"I know the official story, but I wanna hear it from you."

"I needed to blow off some steam, so I went to the bar for a couple drinks. Some guy got into an argument, pulled out a gun, and started shooting...so I shot back."

Your eyes fluttered closed. "You could have been killed."

"But I wasn't."

"But you could have been!" you said loudly. "Why the hell did you go to that bar alone? Why didn't you just stay home? You could have called someone to go with you! You could of--"

"(Y/N)," Elliot cut in gently. "I'm okay."

You realized you'd been rambling and you inhaled deeply to catch your breath. "I was so scared," you whispered. "When I woke up and Olivia told me what had happened...it felt like my world was falling apart. All I wanted was to see you, but you were still in surgery. Even when you finally made it to recovery, they wouldn't let me see you because they wanted to keep me for observation overnight."

"Wait, what? Who wanted to keep you for observation?" he asked, confused.

"The hospital," you answered. "I got here about 5 minutes after you."

"What?" His eyes scanned over your body, checking for wounds or signs of injuries. "Why? What happened? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," you assured him gently. "It was just a panic attack."

He looked even more confused. "A panic attack?"

"It was intense," you admitted. "I passed out and Tony called 911. I didn't know what happened to you until I woke up in the hospital and listened to my voicemails from Olivia."

"I thought you usually knew when a panic attack was coming on."

"This one was weird. It hit me suddenly and literally brought me to my knees." You paused. "Anyway, I'm fine. How are you feeling?"

"Sore," Elliot admitted. "My chest feels like an elephant is sitting on it."

"Do you need pain meds? I can get the nurse--" you turned to call for the nurse, but he grabbed your arm to stop you.

"No, please--don't go."

You turned back to him. "I'm not going anywhere, but if you're in pain, the nurse can help."

He shook his head. "The meds make me sleep. I don't wanna sleep."

"Alright, but if the pain becomes unbearable, please tell me."

"I will," he promised. "I just want to talk to you for a while longer."

You smiled. "I can't say no to that."

For the next several minutes, you helped Elliot get caught up on everything that had happened in the last three weeks, leaving out a few key things about changes in your life until the end.

"I, uhh--I broke up with Tony," you mumbled quickly.

Elliot's eyes widened and you swore his face lit up before he tried to hide it. "Oh? I'm sorry, (Y/N/N). I know you really liked him."

You shrugged. "He's a good man and he'll make a great husband for someone, just not me."

"So...why'd you break up with him?"

"He deserved to be with someone who loved him the way he loved me and I knew I'd never be able to."

"Why not?" Fuck subtlety, he thought to himself.

You laughed breathily. "Good lord you're full of questions."

"That's not an answer."

You shot him a look of annoyance, but he knew you weren't actually upset. You were clearly trying to decide how to answer his question...and how much information you really wanted to give him.

"You can't love more than one person at the same time. At least not fully."

He raised his eyebrows. "Who do you love?"

"Elliot," you groaned softly. "Why does it matter?"

"I want to know." I need to know.

You sighed heavily. "How long have we known each other?"

He was clearly confused by your question, but he answered it anyway. "Eight years?"

You nodded. "And you were married for most of it, right?"

"As far as I'm aware, yes," he said in boorish tone.

"Six years, Elliot. Six whole years of my life," you said softly.

"What do you mean?"

You bit your lip and stared at the blanket covering his chest, unable to look at his face as you answered his question. "That's how long I've loved you," you whispered.

He'd waited two very long years to hear you say those words, but he'd never actually imagined you would ever say them. He was so stunned by your admission that he found himself rendered mute.

The seconds ticked by and you started to feel incredibly foolish and embarrassed. "Please say something," you begged.

He realized he'd been silent for too long and he rushed to say the words that had lived in his heart for so long. "I don't really know when I fell in love with you, (Y/N), but I'll never forget the moment I realized I loved you, and I don't think I'll ever be able to stop loving you."

Your jaw nearly hit the floor as your eyes shot up to meet his. You'd never dreamed he'd feel the same...at least not until three weeks ago. Perhaps Olivia was right after all--perhaps you really were connected in a deeper way. "El..."

"You don't have to say anything," he whispered.

"I love you," you said simply.

His chest ached from more than just the gun shot wounds. "I love you too."

You let out an awkward chuckle. "So what do we do now?"

"Right now?" he asked. "Well right now, you're going to kiss me because I can't really move."

You laughed warmly before leaning in and placing a soft kiss to his warm lips. The moment your lips connected, it just felt right. Everything about him felt right.

"As much as I'd love to kiss you until one or both of us passes out from lack of oxygen, I think I might need those painkillers instead," he said softly, finally letting the pain creep into his voice.

You nearly smacked him. "How long have you been in this much pain?"

"Doesn't matter. This was more than worth it."

You glared at him, but the glare quickly softened to an affectionate expression of concern. "I'll get the nurse."

You returned moments later with the nurse in tow. She gave Elliot a shot of morphine to dull his pain. It didn't take long for him to drift back off to sleep.

You settled into a chair beside his bed, content to stay beside him for as long as the hospital staff would let you.

**********

Four days later, Elliot was finally released from the hospital. You insisted he come to your place because there was absolutely no way you were going to let him be alone yet. Much to your surprise, he didn't argue, if anything he seemed glad for your insistence.

"At least I don't have to give you a tour," you said with a smile as you held the door open for Elliot.

"I've only been here 100 times," he teased.

You closed the door behind him and watched as he moved slowly towards the couch. You knew he was still in pain, though he likely wouldn't admit it.

"Do you need anything?" you asked tentatively as he sunk down onto the couch with a muffled groan.

"Nah, I'm fine."

You knew better than to argue with him. "How 'bout we order Chinese for an early dinner? I don't really feel like cooking."

"God, yes. That sounds amazing."

"Hospital food that bad?" you teased.

"Worse."

You laughed and went to the kitchen to grab the number for your favorite take out place. You ordered enough food to feed a small army before settling onto the couch beside Elliot.

"Okay, so here's the options: we can watch TV, we can sit in silence and awkwardly stare at the wall, or we can talk."

"I vote for the awkward staring."

You laughed. "TV it is."

You turned the TV on, but nothing seemed particularly interesting. Eventually you settled on some mindless drama.

You pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and draped it across your lap. "Do you need one?"

"I'm good."

A few quiet moments went by before Elliot cleared his throat. You looked over at him, but he didn't say anything. You turned back to face the TV, but he started shifting beside you, as if he was restless.

"El?"

"Hmm?"

"What's wrong? Are you in pain?"

He shook his head. "Not really. It's just--well it's just that you're kinda far away."

You raised an eyebrow as you regarded him. "I don't wanna hurt you."

"Well, I wanna hold you and I don't really give a damn if it hurts me."

You offered him a small smile. "I'll be gentle."

You moved closer to him and laid your head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around you and pulled you close, wincing slightly as he shifted. Once you'd both gotten comfortable, your focus went back to the TV.

About 20 minutes later, the buzzer for the door went off and you jumped up to answer it. You let the delivery guy in the main doors and waited for him to reach your apartment.

"Do you always let the delivery guy in?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah."

"It's not safe, (Y/N)."

A knock at your door alerted you to the presence of your dinner. You opened the door, took the food, and paid before shutting the door behind him.

"I've never had any issues," you commented.

"We know plenty of people who have," Elliot said softly.

You glanced over at him and sighed. "El, I've been living alone for most of my adult life. I'm painfully aware of the dangers of being a single female in this city, and I'm always careful."

He nodded, but he didn't look like he really wanted to let it drop.

You walked back into the living room and started laying out the takeout boxes on the coffee table. "Dinner is served."

He inhaled deeply. "Damn that smells good."

"Thank you. I slaved away in the kitchen for hours to make it for you."

He laughed warmly. You saw the look of pain cross his face, the laughter clearly aggravating his wounds.

"At least take a couple Tylenol," you begged.

He sighed. "Will it make you feel better?"

"Yes."

"Fine. I'll take a couple."

The two of you had managed to eat a large portion of the food you'd ordered and you'd gotten Elliot to take some pain medication. All in all, you felt very successful.

The two of you were curled up on the couch watching a movie. Your head was in Elliot's lap, a blanket covering your body, and his arm draped across your torso.

At some point, his hand began to play with your hair and gently trace meaningless designs against your skin. The motion relaxed you and you sighed contentedly. Your eyes drifted closed and you knew you should get up go to bed, but you were simply too warm and comfortable to get up.

Next thing you knew, Elliot was gently shaking you awake. "Sweetheart? It's late. You should go to bed."

You let out a little groan. "But I'm so warm."

He chuckled. "You'll be nice and warm in your bed too. Come on," he coaxed.

You grumbled softly as you sat up. You dragged your weary body off the couch and started to walk back towards your bedroom. When you realized Elliot wasn't following you, you turned around. "Coming?"

"Oh, I--uh...I can sleep on the couch, ummm--if you want."

"We're adults, Elliot. We can share a bed."

"Thank god," he said as he slowly made his way towards you. "Your couch isn't comfortable to sleep on."

"Hey! You've never complained before."

"That's because sleeping in your bed was never an option before."

"I suppose you have a point."

He followed you into your room and chuckled softly as you crawled directly into bed, not even bothering to change into your pajamas. He walked to the other side of the bed and stood there for a moment, clearly unsure of what to do.

"You okay?" you asked.

"I, uhh, I normally wear a lot less clothing when I sleep."

"Oh," you mumbled with a blush. "Umm, you can get comfortable. I don't mind."

"I'll keep some stuff on for modesty," he teased lightly. "I just gotta lose the sweatpants or I'm gonna sweat to death in the middle of the night."

You laughed. "We wouldn't want that."

He quickly shed his pants before crawling into the bed beside you. "Shit," he said with a sigh. "You've been holding out on me."

"Huh?"

"This bed is 1,000 times more comfortable than the couch."

You laughed and very lightly smacked his arm. "You're the worst. You're lucky I let you share in this great comfort."

He grinned. "I feel very lucky. I'd even go so far as to say I feel honored."

You blushed. "Oh hush. Go to sleep, you dork. I'll see you in the morning."

You turned off the bedside lamp and settled back into the bed.

"Goodnight, (Y/N)."

"Goodnight, Elliot."

**********

For the next couple weeks, Elliot was on desk duty at work, which meant he had much more time to spend with you. On slow days, he would come sit in your office and chat with you for hours until someone (usually Cragen or Olivia) came looking for him.

Even though he was more than capable of living alone again, Elliot was still crashing at your house. You'd insisted at first, but it had become a comfortable routine that neither of you were quite ready to break.

The rest of the squad started to notice the change in your relationship too. Elliot was much more affectionate towards you, both physically and verbally. He'd use terms of endearment as often as possible and he was always within arms' reach of you.

The shift in dynamics really became obvious when you and Elliot continued to arrive together to work in the morning after the doctors had cleared him for duty.

"Okay, I'm tired of dancing around this shit," Fin spoke up when you and Elliot walked in the door together.

"Dancing around what?" Olivia asked.

"That," he responded, pointing at you two.

"What about us?" Elliot asked.

"Are you still living with (Y/N)?"

"Yeah," he answered with a shrug.

"So are you dating?" Fin probed.

Elliot shrugged off his jacket and plopped down in his desk chair. "Yeah."

Three surprised voices started peppering you with questions. "Since when?" "Why didn't you tell us?" "How long has this been going on?"

"Guys!" you yelled as you threw up your hands. You were surprised that Elliot had admitted to the relationship so freely. You hadn't discussed keeping it a secret or anything like that, but you also hadn't discussed if and when you were going to tell everyone. "Can you at least wait until I put my bag down before you verbally assault me?"

The questions and comments continued, but were now aimed at Elliot as you made a beeline to your office to drop off your bag and coat.

Before you could make it back to the squad room, there was a gentle knock on the doorframe. "Got a second?"

You turned around at the sound of Cragen's voice. "Sure," you answered as you leaned back against your desk. "What can I do for you?"

"Well, I may have overheard the commotion in the squad room when you and Elliot got in."

"Oh."

"Were you planning on telling me?"

"Honestly, sir, we hadn't discussed it. We didn't even really discuss our relationship...it just sort of happened."

"Near-death experiences will do that to you."

You nodded. "It was rather eye-opening for both of us, I think."

"Not as much for the rest of us."

"What do you mean?"

Cragen smiled. "It doesn't take a good detective to see how much the two of you care about each other, even long before Elliot got shot."

You blushed. "I tried not to be obvious."

"I make it a point to know my people, (Y/N), and I pay attention."

"I hope our relationship isn't going to be an issue, sir."

He shook his head. "I'm not worried about the two of you one bit. You've always been professional and I don't think admitting you love each other out loud will change that."

"I appreciate that, sir. I know Elliot will too."

Cragen just offered you a simple smile before making his way back towards the squad room. You followed slowly behind him, allowing yourself time to steel yourself for the onslaught of questions.

Much to your surprise, the conversation had shifted to other topics, namely Munch's permanent bachelor status and Olivia's terrible choices in men.

You leaned against Elliot's desk and he looked up to smile at you.

"I see they've moved on."

"I put them in their place," he said with a smirk.

"Do I wanna know what that means?"

"Probably not."

You laughed. "You're probably right."

Elliot's next thought was interrupted by the ringing of his phone. He answered it, listened for a few moments, then said "We'll be there in 15," before hanging up. "Liv, we've got a vic over at Bellevue."

She sighed and grabbed her coat. Elliot followed suit, but he paused to kiss you softly before following her out the door. "I'll see you later. Love you."

You smiled. "Love you too. Be safe."

"Always," he said with a wink.

You watched him walk out the door and you felt a pang in your chest. You'd always worried about him--about all of them--every time they went out on a call, but it felt different now. Knowing he loved you as much as you loved him made it so much harder to watch him leave knowing he might never come back.

Thankfully, he did come back, though he was not in a pleasant mood. He was snapping at every person who crossed his path and anyone who dared look at him sideways.

"It was the dad, Olivia," he was yelling when you came into the squad room. "I'm sure of it."

"Okay, Elliot, but we don't have any proof!" she yelled back.

"Hey," you cut in. "What's going on."

"Little girl is in the ICU because she'd been beaten pratically to death. The doctor said there was also evidence of prolonged sexual abuse," Elliot answered.

"That's terrible."

"Yeah, what's worse is the father did it," he said angrily.

"What proof do you have?" you asked.

"God, not you too."

"El, we can't just assume it's the father without some sort of evidence."

"My instincts and years of experience not enough for you?"

"It might be enough for me, but it's not enough for a court of law," you countered.

You could see the rage in his eyes and you knew exactly what he was thinking. You knew the statistics as well as anyone, so you knew it was likely that the child had been raped by a close family member. As a father himself, Elliot hated when a father was the cause of such trauma to a child. That hatred fulled his anger, which led to poor decision making.

"Why don't I talk to the father?" you suggested.

"I'm bringing him in tomorrow morning. I want first dibs," Elliot insisted.

"I think it's best if I talk to him first," you said gently, but firmly.

"Why?"

You sighed, not really wanting to answer him. "Because I'm not sure you can be objective, Elliot."

As you suspected, that only fueled his anger more. "Of course I can be objective! I'm objective! Why do you think--"

"You're angry," you said, cutting him off.

He paused. "Of course I'm angry!"

"I may not have children, but I understand where your anger is coming from, Elliot. The difference is you let your emotions guide you--you imagine yourself in that person's shoes and it fuels your rage." You sighed deeply. "For what it's worth, I trust your judgment. If you think he's guilty, I'm inclined to agree, but I want to talk to him first."

Your words seemed to calm him down. He hated seeing a child hurt, especially one that had been hurt repeatedly. He knew you were right--he was emotional and that tended to cloud his judgment. You, on the other hand, knew how to remain calm and rational, which tended to get you better results.

"You're right. You should interview him."

At that moment, Cragen stepped out of his office. "Emily Riley just passed away. The parents are on their way down to the station now."

"What happened?" Elliot asked.

"She threw a clot to her brain. It was likely caused by the beating she took."

"Why are the parents coming down here?" you asked.

"Mrs. Riley attacked Mr. Riley. She was screaming something about him doing this to Emily. Uniformed officers are bringing them down."

You turned to look at Elliot, who had a slightly surprised look on his face. "I think that means you were right, El."

"Maybe, just once, I'd like to be wrong."

When the Rileys arrived down at the station, Fin and Munch took Mrs. Riley to an interview room, while you took Mr. Riley to another room. Olivia joined you at your request, while Elliot and Cragen watched from the other side of the glass.

It didn't take you very long to get a full confession from Mr. Riley. He admitted to sexually assaulting his daughter for several years. It took a little longer for him to admit to beating her, but eventually he did. He told you and Olivia that he had to kill Emily because she threatened to tell her mother about what he'd done to her for years.

Once he admitted that, Elliot stormed into the room and yelled at him--screaming that he was a pervert and a monster. "You'll get the needle for this...and I'll be right there watching."

Elliot put handcuffs on him and took him to booking, with Olivia trailing behind. You met Cragen outside the interrogation room and he told you you'd done a good job.

"Honestly, I'd rather never have to do an interview like that again."

"But you're good at it, (Y/N)."

"Doesn't mean I like it."

"I don't think any of us really like it."

You offered him a sad smile before walking away, heading to your office to sit down and have a nice cry.

About 30 minutes later, Elliot found you in your office, eyes red from crying.

"Doll?" he asked. "You okay?"

You nodded. "I'm fine. I just...I hate doing those."

He came around the side of your desk and pulled you into him. "I know, baby. I don't like them either."

"That poor little girl. She never had a chance."

He squeezed you tighter. "At least he's going to prison for the rest of his life...thanks to you."

You looked up at him. "I can't take all the credit. Olivia was there too."

"You're the one who won him over. You got him to admit to everything he'd ever done to his daughter."

"At least this is done. I just wanna go home."

"Me too," he said as he stood up. "Get your coat and let's get out of here."

"I want a hot bath," you grumbled.

He chuckled lightly. "Hot bath, a glass of wine, and a good night's sleep next to your very handsome boyfriend, should do the trick."

You rolled your eyes as you threw on your jacket. "I'm taking you up on that."

"It's a guarantee," he said with a wink.

**********

It had been two months since Elliot had been shot. Two of the best months you'd had in a long time. Elliot felt the same. He loved spending time with you and just being around you made him feel so at peace. Just sitting next to you on the couch while you watched a movie made him happy. It was all the little moments that warmed his heart.

Tonight was special. It was the anniversary of the day Elliot realized he was in love with you. To you, it was an ordinary Tuesday, but to him, it was one of the most important days of his life.

He'd made dinner reservations for your favorite restaurant for that evening, but he wouldn't tell you anything else he was planning.

"Why tonight? What's the occasion?" you'd asked him that morning.

"Because I love you and I want to show you just how much," he'd answered.

You didn't believe there wasn't more to it, but you let the matter drop. By the time 5pm rolled around, you'd almost forgotten about your plans for that evening.

"Come on, babe, we gotta go," Elliot said as he popped his head into your office.

"Just let me finish this--"

"We've got reservations at 6:30, sweetheart."

You looked at your watch. "It's only 5:15."

"We have to get home and change first."

"Where are we going that I can't wear this?"

"It's a surprise! Now come on."

You laughed and gathered your belongings before following him out the door.

When you arrived home, you found that Elliot had already picked out exactly what both of you would be wearing that evening. He'd selected a beautiful dress for you and a well-tailored suit for himself.

Thirty minutes later, he was dragging you out the door, insisting he didn't want to be late.

When Elliot pulled up in front of the restaurant, your face lit up in surprise. "Elliot, you hate this place," you insisted.

He shrugged. "But it's your favorite."

"El..."

"Come on, beautiful." He hopped out of the car and quickly came around to your side to help you out. He dropped his keys in the valet's outstretched hand before guiding you to the door.

"You never do valet. You always say it's a waste of money," you whispered.

"Tonight is a special occasion," he countered. "Besides, you're worth it."

You blushed heavily as he held the door open for you and followed you inside. "Is that why you took me to one of the most expensive restaurants in Manhattan?" you murmured quietly.

"Mhmm," he hummed.

"Am I missing something here? What's the special occasion?"

Before he could respond, you were met by the maitre d'. "Good evening. Do you have a reservation?"

"Yes. Two for Stabler."

The man smiled at the two of you. "Right this way sir, ma'am."

You followed him to a nice secluded table in the far corner of the restaurant. It gave Elliot an excellent view of the entrance and it suited your preference for a quiet table.

A bottle of wine was immediately brought to your table and two cups poured. It was, of course, your favorite wine.

"Seriously, El...what's with all the fanciness?"

You chuckled. "Can't I treat my girl just because I want to?"

"You can, but I know you. You don't like fancy things."

"But you do."

"Sometimes," you conceited. "Especially when it comes to food."

He grinned. "You have very high expectations as it relates to food."

"You're not wrong."

A server seemed to appear out of nowhere to take your orders. You hadn't even begun to look at the menu, but you didn't need to. You knew exactly what you wanted. After the server left, you turned your attention back to Elliot.

"Are you going to tell me what's so special about today?"

He looked you in the eyes and for some reason, his expression made you feel emotional. "Two years ago today, I realized I was in love with you. This is the first time I've actually had the opportunity to celebrate that love."

Tears welled in your eyes and you gently fanned your face with your hand. "Come on, (Y/N), don't cry in public," you said lightly to yourself.

Elliot laughed warmly and reached across the table to take your hand. The man wasn't big into romantic gestures, but he'd made an effort for you and that meant everything to you.

"This is the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me."

"You need to meet better people then," he said with a smile.

"It wouldn't have the same meaning coming from someone else."

It was his turn to blush. "You deserve to know how much you mean to me. I want to make sure you never forget it."

"I love you, Elliot," you said softly.

"Not as much as I love you."

The evening was extremely beautiful. Delicious food, incredible company...who could ask for a better night?

When you made it back home, you immediately slipped off your shoes and dropped onto the bed. "Who invented heels and can I kill them?" you grumbled.

Elliot laughed as he tugged off his tie. "I'm 80% certain murder is illegal. Besides, they make your ass look incredible."

You laughed. "You're not wrong, but only 80%?" You sat up and watched him as he continued to remove his shirt. Your eyes followed his hands as he unbuttoned his shirt--mouth watering slightly at the teasing bit of his form you could see.

Ordinarily you'd be embarrassed by how blatantly you were staring, but it had been a long time since you'd felt the touch of a man and your body suddenly lit up.

Elliot was still chattering on about something until he looked in your direction and fell silent. The look on your face was hungry--possessive even--and it sent a shock wave of desire through his body.

"Baby?" he asked tentatively.

"Come here," you responded, voice low and husky.

Even if he'd been blind and deaf, he still would have been able to feel the desire oozing from every pore in your body. It wrapped around him, enveloping every part of him, pulling him towards you.

He stopped at the edge of the bed, eyes slowly tracing over your body, waiting for you to give him permission to touch you.

"Help me up," you purred.

He grabbed your hands and pulled you to your feet. "Turn around," he said softly.

You did as he asked, exposing the zipper of your dress to him. You felt his fingers slide slowly up your spine before grasping the zipper and pulling it down at an agonizingly slow pace to just above the curve of your butt.

His lips brushed against the exposed skin of your shoulder as he began to remove your dress. He could feel your heart racing, the blood pumping through your arteries as he kissed your neck.

You gasped softly as his teeth grazed your pulse point, sending shivers through your body. His hands pushed your dress the rest of the way down, letting it pool at your feet.

You felt his hands caress you, sliding around your midsection and pulling you back against him. The way he touched you only made you want him more--the slow pace he'd set driving you crazy.

As if he sensed your need for more, his left hand began to slowly glide up your torso towards your breasts. He slid his hand across one breast and then the other, giving each one a gentle squeeze as he did so.

Your body was flush against his and you could feel his arousal pressing into your back. The lack of skin-to-skin contact was making you desperate. You needed to feel him--all of him.

You turned your head to look up at his face, but you were surprised by his heavy-lidded expression. You'd never seen him look like that and it did something to you.

Your lips parted slightly as you gazed at him and he found it impossible to resist. He leaned down to press his lips against yours, earning a soft sigh from you. You turned around so your chest was pressed against his, and your arms wound around his neck.

His shirt was already unbuttoned, so all you had to do was push it back off his shoulders and let him tug it the rest of the way off. You then let your hands wander under the hem of his undershirt, palms flattening against his taunt abs.

He knew what you wanted, so he pulled back just long enough to pull his shirt off over his head. He leaned back in to kiss you, but you pulled back slightly, hand pressed against his chest to keep him in place.

He would have been hurt by the motion if he'd missed the look on your face. Instead, he felt his chest swell with pride as you eyed him like he was the god, Adonis.

"See something you like?" he teased.

Your eyes flicked up to meet his. "I see a whole lot I like."

He grinned and pulled you back in for another searing kiss. You swore that every time he touched you, it was like your body was on fire--each touch increasing the intensity of the burning. But it wasn't painful...it was an incredible feeling and you wanted more.

Elliot's hands made their way to your back, and he deftly unclasped your bra with practiced hands. You let the bra slide down your arms, exposing your breasts to his hungry eyes.

He cupped them, lifting them to his mouth as he lowered his head to taste your skin. You let out a moan of pleasure as he nipped and sucked, paying each breast and each nipple its dues.

Your fingers began to claw at his belt, desperately trying to free him from the confines of his pants. Elliot chuckled softly at both your desperation and your frustration at not being able to undo his belt.

He pulled back and nodded his head towards the bed. "Lie down, baby."

You did as he asked, eyes never leaving him. He quickly undid his belt and unbuttoned his pants. He was slow to remove them, clearly enjoying the tortured expression on your face.

Your breathing was labored, despite the fact that you weren't doing a damn thing. You could feel your arousal pooling in your panties and you knew you were seconds away from completely losing it.

"How 'bout I just remove these too while I'm at it?" Elliot asked as he tugged his boxer shorts down his legs. When he stood up straight, you got your first view of his erection and you felt your pussy clench as a little gasp escaped your mouth.

He was thick and long--larger than you were used to, but not so big that it scared you. Your mouth watered slightly, the mere thought of feeling his weight on your tongue a massive turn on.

You quickly pulled yourself off the bed, cutting off Elliot's question before he could even speak as you dropped to your knees in front of him.

His eyes widened slightly as he gazed down at you. You looked up at him with a doe-eyed expression that nearly buckled his knees. He watched as you tentatively placed your hands on his thighs, eyes flicking up to his, checking to make sure it was okay.

He reached out and ran his fingers through your hair, letting you know he was comfortable. You licked your lips as your hands moved up his thighs, nails gently scratching the skin.

Elliot's breathing was already heavy and he knew he was going to have a hard time controlling his orgasm. It had been a long time for him too, after all.

You gripped his cock in your dominant hand, leaning towards him to take him into your mouth. You took as much of him as you could without gagging, eyes never leaving his face.

"Fuck," he whispered as he looked down at you.

The single curse word sounded like praise to you, so you ran with it. You wasted no time--you set a quick, intense pace, and he was loving it.

His fingers were tangled in your hair and a string of moans, heavy pants, and curses slipped from his mouth. He watched you as much as he could, but his head would roll back involuntarily as he reacted to the pleasure.

"You're doing so well, baby--feels amazing."

You moaned softly around his cock in response. The vibrations mixed with the warm, wet heaven of your mouth nearly made him cum. You felt the way his body tensed and knew he was close, so you sped up your movements, paying special attention to his sensitive head.

Elliot had been determined not to cum yet, but he was struggling to hold himself back. It just felt so damn good. "Baby, I--I'm close."

You were well aware and you wanted to taste him so badly--so you did the only logical thing...you looked up at him as you sucked, eyes filled with desire.

Within seconds, Elliot filled your throat with his cum--orgasm slamming into him like a freight train. As he started to come down from his high, he realized his grip on your hair was way too tight and he let go of you instantly.

"Sorry, baby. Did I hurt you?" he asked breathlessly.

You smiled up at him and licked your lips, making sure to get the last of his cum into your mouth. "Not at all, El. I loved every minute of it."

He relaxed and let out a relieved sigh. "Well so did I...you were phenomenal, (Y/N/N)."

He helped you up and pulled you against him so he could kiss you--not giving a damn that he could taste himself on your tongue.

"Can you lie down for me, baby? I'd like to repay the favor."

"You don't have to," you assured him as you settled onto the bed.

He looked at you in confusion. "You say it like it's some sort of chore."

You shrugged. "Not all men reciprocate."

"What kind of heathens have you been dating?"

You laughed. "Well...none of them were you."

"See, there's your problem," he teased.

He climbed onto the bed with you, hovering over your body, eyes scanning your face as if he was memorizing it.

"Have I told you how beautiful you are?" he murmured.

"Once or twice," you said, cheeks blushing slightly.

"Hmm," he hummed. "I've gotta tell you more often. No one compares."

Now your cheeks flushed a deep crimson. "Elliot..."

He suddenly sat up. "You know what, babe? I've got a much better idea." He flopped down onto his back. "Sit on my face."

"Say what?"

He turned his head to look at you. "Sit on my face," he said again.

"I...umm. That sounds dangerous."

He cocked an eyebrow. "It's not dangerous, it's sexy as hell."

You sat up and turned to face him. "Are you sure? I mean...couldn't I smother you?"

He laughed. "Absolutely not." His expression sobered suddenly. "Are you telling me no guy has ever asked you to sit on their face?"

You shook your head, embarrassment creeping into your face.

He sat back up and reached for you. "We don't have to do anything you don't want, but I promise you it's worth it--for both of us."

"Are you sure?" you asked again.

"I'm absolutely positive, babe."

He looked and sounded so confident--and to be honest, you'd always wanted to try it--so you nodded your agreement.

You quickly pulled your panties off before climbing on top of him. You straddled his chest--a slightly worried expression on your face.

"I promise you, you're not gonna hurt me," he reassured you. "Besides, I'm strong enough to throw you off me if I had to."

His tone was light and teasing, which made you feel better. Plus, you knew it was true--he really could throw you around if he wanted to.

You took a deep breath and moved your body so your pussy was directly over his face. You lowered yourself slightly, but you didn't actually sit on him.

He sighed in annoyance. "Did I ask you to hover over my face, baby?"

"No," you mumbled.

"What did I ask?"

"You asked me to sit."

"Mhmm...so sit."

You lowered yourself a little more, but you didn't put your full weight on him. You didn't think he would notice, but you were completely wrong.

He wrapped his arms around your thighs and tugged you down so you were completely flush against him. He made the happiest noise you'd ever heard before diving into the delicious feast above him.

You nearly jumped off of him as he began to eat you out--the sensations so intense, it startled you. But holy fucking shit did it feel incredible.

The sounds coming from your mouth were loud enough to wake your neighbors. You grasped the headboard for support as you moaned and begged and chanted his name like a prayer.

All-the-while, Elliot was expertly attacking your pussy, sending wave after wave of unimaginable pleasure through your body. He groaned into you as he feasted, your cries of pleasure spurring him on.

He felt your nails rake against his scalp and your thighs began to shake. He tightened his grip on you as he continued his ministrations.

"Elliot--fuck," you gasped. "I'm so close."

"I know," he said into your pussy, knowing full well you couldn't hear him. He sped up his assault on your clit and seconds later your orgasm washed over you--screams of his name echoing in the small room.

He continued lapping up the mess you'd made, arms still wound tightly around your legs, keeping you against his mouth.

You started to squirm, but he didn't let go. "El--sensitive."

After a couple more licks, he finally released you and you practically fell off of him and onto the bed. Your legs shivered as aftershocks worked their way through your body.

Elliot was happily licking his lips as he watched you, expression smug. You looked almost delirious with pleasure and it brought him great pride.

"That...was...incredible," you said between breaths.

He grinned as he sat up. "I'm glad you enjoyed it as much as I did." He wiped the rest of your slick from his face with a satisfied smirk.

You looked over at him and laughed breathlessly. He just looked so pleased with himself that you couldn't help but find it funny.

"Kiss me," you pleaded softly.

He was never one to deny you, so he pulled himself up and climbed onto your body, hovering over you once again. He leaned down and gently pressed his lips against yours, earning a contented sigh from your lips.

You cupped the back of his neck and pulled him closer to you as you deepened the kiss. He shifted slightly to get more comfortable and you could feel his arousal press against your thigh. You smiled against his lips, appreciating that he was willing and able to keep going.

Elliot felt your lips curve into a smile and he pulled away so he could look at you. "Something funny, doll?"

You shook your head. "Nothing's funny. I'm just...pleased."

He chuckled and kissed your neck. "Pleased, eh?" He pressed another kiss against your skin. "About what?"

"You," you said breathlessly--his kisses quite clearly having the desired effect on you.

He smiled as he nipped at your collar bone. "I'll take the compliment."

You lifted your hips, brushing against his cock in search of friction. He hissed softly, the feeling too much and not enough at the same time.

Elliot grabbed your hips and pulled you towards him so he could settle more comfortably between your legs. He went back to kissing you, his hands gently skimming over your skin, his cock pressed against your entrance.

You ran your fingers through his short hair and whined softly.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"Need you."

"I'm right here." His teasing tone annoyed you slightly--he knew exactly what you wanted.

"Elliot," you whined.

He grinned. "Come on pretty girl, just tell me what you want and I'll give it to you."

"I want you."

He nipped at your jaw. "Come on...you can do better than that."

You whined again, squirming beneath him, in dire need of his touch. "I wanna feel you inside of me, Elliot--please," you begged.

He growled softly, hearing you beg for him like that made him almost feral.

To your surprise, he started to pull away from you. "El?"

"Need a damn condom."

"I'm on birth control," you said quickly.

"You sure, babe? We know this little swimmers are potent."

You laughed. "I'm sure. Come here."

He lowered himself back on top of you and lined his cock up with your entrance. His eyes locked onto yours, searching for any sign of discomfort. Seeing none, he started to push into you slowly.

The stretch was both delicious and painful at the same time. Your nails dug into his shoulders and you winced slightly when he was about halfway in.

"Shit, am I hurting you?" His worried tone matched his facial expression.

"I'm fine," you assured him. "You're just...big."

He grinned wolfishly, pride pumping through his veins. He kept pushing forward until he completely bottomed out inside you, a deep groan escaping from his lips.

He gave you a few moments to adjust before he began to move. His speed was slow and languid, and his eyes never left yours. He wanted to make sure you were comfortable and enjoying yourself as much as possible.

"More," you gasped out softly.

He sped up his movements, earning a series of moans from you. He shifted his body to get a better angle and you cried out in pleasure, nails scratching into his skin.

He knew better than to slow down or shift any farther. With each thrust, he brought you closer and closer to the edge--and the convulsing of your tight pussy mixed with the sounds coming from your mouth, pushed him towards the edge too.

"Please, please, please" you chanted.

"I've got you," he murmured.

Your nails dug even deeper into his skin, drawing blood as they raked down his back. You cried out in pleasure--a sound that closely resembled his name--as your orgasm hit you.

Elliot barely held on long enough to get in another thrust before he was filling you up with his seed, whispering your name like a prayer in your ear.

As the two of you came down from your highs, Elliot slowly pulled out of you. You shivered at the loss of contact and you could feel his cum leaking from your hole.

"I'll be right back, baby," he whispered as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

You could hear him in the distance, but you were a little delirious from all the pleasure he'd just given you. When he came back, he scooped you up into his arms and carried you towards the bathroom.

You let out a little yelp when he lifted you--you were unaccustomed to being carried anywhere. "What--?"

"Hot bath?"

You smiled up at him. He didn't really strike you as an aftercare kind of man, but you could tell he really cared. He wanted to take care of you.

You nodded and he very gently lowered you down into the tub, which was still filling with hot water.

"Temperature okay?"

"It's perfect," you said with a sigh as you leaned back. "Join me."

"In a minute, babe."

He left the room and came back a few moments later with a lighter and a couple candles. He quickly lit them and turned off the light, so the room was bathed in a soft glow. It was surprisingly romantic.

You leaned forward so he could slide into the tub behind you. As soon as he was comfortable, he grabbed you and pulled you back against him. He kissed the top of your head and you sighed happily.

"I love you," he whispered into your hair. "So damn much."

"I love you too, Elliot."

The two of you stayed in the bath until the water began to cool. Elliot helped you dry off and slip on your nightgown before guiding you back to the bed.

He pulled on a pair of boxers and slid beneath the covers beside you. He reached out and put his arm around you, pulling you to him so your back was flush to his chest.

"Sleep well, my love," he whispered.

You were already drifting off to sleep as he uttered those sweet words. He didn't need a reply--he knew exactly how you felt by the way you curled into him, a soft sigh escaping your lips.

#elliot stabler x reader #elliot stabler #elliot stabler x reader smut #detective stabler #law and order svu #law and order svu smut #detective stabler smut #elliot stabler smut

[kryptonitejelly]

nick amaro x reader // law and order SVU

yes, we are going there - what have i done 😭 no plot, really. just a moment.

-

The last thing Nick had expected to find when walking back into the SVU bullpen was you; and yet, here he was, eyes fixed on you as his strides quickened. He notices Fin’s smirk that finds itself aimed his way as he weaves his way between Amanda and Liv to get to you, but he ignores it.

He lets his gaze drag itself over your form, head down on his desk, the lamp on his desk casting a soft glow around your features; the extra suit jacket he leaves hanging on the back of his chair draped over your shoulders. You have a laptop open in front of you, a case file and note pad within reach, all topped off by an uncapped pen lying caged between your curled fingers. He sees the pair of heels which you had shed, one standing, one lying on its side peeking out from under his desk. A dip of his gaze reveals the deep green of the dress which you had on, one of his favourite dresses on you - one that he knew you had worn in to work today in anticipation of Friday having supposed to be date night.

Nick slows his pace as he approaches you, content in the few seconds to allow himself to watch the gentle rise and fall of your shoulders. The sight stirs a mix of emotions in his chest - the swell of emotion that came rushing in whenever he set his eyes on you, and a heavy tinge of guilt. Guilt that he had to cancel the first date night you both had managed to plan after weeks of clashing schedules, guilt that you taken it so well, and guilt that you had somehow found your way here, to the SVU bullpen so that you could both head home together.

Nick drops to a knee, bringing himself to eye level with your face. He raises his hand to cup the side of your face gently. His touch on your skin is light, soft, but it makes you stir immediately.

“Hey,” Nick’s voice grounds you as you let your mind grind to a start, your surroundings shifting into focus. “What are you doing here?”

“Thought we could go home together,” your lips furl up into a gentle smile, voice soft, your eyes, still hazy with sleep, locked onto Nick’s. You forget your bearings for a moment until you hear a cough from behind Nick as various footsteps shuffle into the bullpen. You straighten up slowly, blinking the sleep from your eyes, legs stretching out beneath you as you offer a wave to the rest of the team trudging in.

“An ADA slumming it at Amaro’s desk?” Fin muses, voice joking and light.

“What would Barba say,” Munch follows, expression deadpan.

“Unbecoming isn’t it?” Liv continues with a quirk of one end of her lip.

“What can I say,” you play along, “not all of us have Barba’s flair.”

“Clearly,” Amanda states, looking pointedly at Nick which earns a series of chuckles from the rest of the team and yourself.

“Yeah, yeah,” Nick waves a hand in the air dismissively, but his gaze doesn’t leave you. You tilt your body downward slightly, hands reaching for your discarded heels. Nick notices and he is back on a knee in one fluid motion.

“Nick,” you protest as he places a hand along your calf, his other propping your heel up, helping you back into your heels. You hazard a glance behind your boyfriend, only to find the rest of the team, tactfully busying themselves with their desks. “I’m not Cinderalla,” you state, but with no real protest as you let him guide your other heel back on.

“I’m not your Prince Charming?” He teases, not caring who else heard, giving your calf a gentle squeeze before winking at you and straightening back into a stand.

“I’ll get back to you on that,” you pull a face as you turn to gather your belongings, making quick work of shoving them into your bag with Nick’s help.

“Way to hurt a man,” he places a hand on his chest as you shrug his spare jacket off your shoulders; Nick takes it from you, hanging it back on his chair.

“She could hurt you more” Fin cuts in again with a sing-song voice. It makes you chuckle, as you catch a wink Amanda throws in your direction.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be Detective Tutuola,” Nick asks all while shrugging off the jacket on his shoulders to place it over yours, letting it hang off your frame. He flicks off the light switch on his desk and picks your bag up.

“If I say no, will you let me tag along?”

Your yes comes at the same time as Nick’s absolutely not, and it earns you another series of chuckles around the room.

“Don’t call me till Monday,” Nick calls out, while threading his fingers through yours as he starts to guide you towards the lift. You barely manage to call out a goodbye, before the lift doors shut on you both.

“I didn’t-” your protest is cut short by Nick’s lips on yours, his free hand circling your waist, going over the fabric of his jacket on your shoulders. You let yourself sink into the kiss, hand sliding up his shoulder and behind his neck as the lift descends to the parking garage.

“I’m sorry I had to cancel today,” he says, forehead resting against yours as he breaks the kiss. His eyes are closed, but you flicker yours open as you run your hand from the back of his neck to cup the side of his jaw.

“You have nothing to apologise for Detective Amaro,” you end with the professional term of address in attempt to diffuse some of the guilt you see in his eyes. “Work,” you continue with a light shrug - Nick was a victim of you cancelling on him as well, and you understood.

“I was really looking forward to tonight,” he says, still apologetic as he finally opens his eyes while leaning his face into your palm.

“I can think of a few ways you can spend the rest of the weekend making it up to me,” you say, dropping your voice to a lower, almost sultry tone as you lean into him, pressing the front of your body into his. Nick responds by pulling you in closer, his hand dipping down the hem of his jacket on your shoulders to slide down onto the curve of your ass.

“Take me home Detective Amaro,” you say as the lift door dings open.

“Your wish is my command,” Nick says in response, taking the opportunity to sear another quick kiss onto your lips before tugging you out of the lift.

#law and order svu #nick amaro #nick amaro x reader #nick amaro x you #nick amaro x y/n #nick amaro fic #nick amaron imagine #nick amaro fanfic #detective amaro #law and order svu imagine #law and order svu fic #law and order svu fanfic #nick amaro reader insert #law and order svu reader insert #amaro #amaro x you #amaro x reader #amaro x y/n #not cm #not tg #law and order svu drabble #law and order svu one shot #nick amaro drabble #nick amaro fluff #nick amaro one shot

[urrockstar-xe]

detective sweetheart - n.a x fem!reader

posted nov 3rd, 2023 12:22 am

this was what i did for my "based on my day" challenge (i spent it watching svu season 14 lmfao) its also my first time writing for nick amaro or any detectives in general so I'm sorry if he's a bit ooc, its also a crossover with criminal minds and i think i made up the whole technical analyst assistant thing but that's my job in my criminal minds DR lmfao. hope you enjoy :)

this includes alcohol (reader consumption), use of Y/n, and possibly wrong wording for FBI stuff?? the reader likes children (in a not creepy way). Jennifer Jareau

summary: the BAU's technical analyst assistant develops quite the crush on SVU's detective Nick Amaro

masterlist

word count: 0.8k

You sat quietly in a bar, sitting amongst a group of FBI agents you knew well and a few detectives you’d just recently had the pleasure of meeting, chatting about the now-closed case and a few chatting about their children, you hadn’t spoken much, too busy trying not to stare at Detective Nick Amaro.

“Detective Amaro, this is Y/n L/n, she’s our technical analyst assistant, our official technical analyst is back at Quantico focusing on another case” Your boss, Aaron Hotchner, introduced you to one of the detectives you’d be working with for a necrophilia serial killer case, 

You two spent the last few days working very closely together on this case. 

Penelope had been working on another case and due to a small fire that you and Penelope accidentally started with a candle in your already small office, Hotch decided to bring you with the team to Manhattan.

And of course, with your luck, Penelope couldn’t be there to fangirl over the hot detective with you, so you had to deal with the consequences of your short attention span all on your own, (granted our beloved Spencer did try to relate and fangirl with you, he did his best, but he was quite busy getting into conspiracy arguments with Sergeant John Munch).

Now that the case was over, Hotch decided that the team was in no rush back to Quantico and could leave in the morning, so while he called in early and left back to his hotel, the rest of you went out with some of the SVU detectives,

Including Nick 

of course.

“What about you? Got any kids?” Nick asked, accidentally snapping you out of your trance, as he handed JJ back her phone after she showed him a photo of her boys.

“Oh, uh”

fuck, he smelt good, why did Derek have to sit you right next to him?? 

“No, no kids, I do adore them though” You smiled in a way you hoped wasn’t too awkward, before Emily spoke up “She’s great with them too! I mean they just love her” 

Nick smiled at that, nodding as Emily talked. 

You laughed awkwardly in response, “she’s exaggerating” you whispered just loud enough for Nick to hear, earning a laugh. 

oh my god, he LAUGHS?

“As much fun this has been, I’m gonna call it a night” JJ announced, standing up from her seat, her actions mirrored by Spencer as he agreed. 

They were shortly followed by Olivia, Fin, and Emily. Derek went home with a pretty girl (obviously) and finally, Rossi left with Rollins, after she offered him a ride back to the hotel.

That left, you and Nick, alone

of fucking course

“So, miss L/n, how was your first time in New York, huh?” He asked, taking a sip of his bourbon or was it whiskey? Maybe scotch? You couldn’t remember

“Oh, you mean besides the corpse-loving freak? Pretty great, thanks for asking, Detective.” you joked, feeling less intimidated thanks to the vodka cranberry sitting in front of you.

He laughed, “Yeah, dumb question” he shook his head almost embarrassed but you were eating it up.

“How was your first time working with the BAU, hm?” Nick smiled as you practically hummed the question, he thought it was cute, and you could tell, which only boosted your confidence.

“Gotta be honest, I was worried you guys would swarm in and take everything over but, it was a lot easier than I expected” You nod in response, 

“A lot of people think that, but typically it’s an ego thing. was it an ego thing for you, Nicky?” The nickname had slipped off your tongue with ease as you teased your schoolgirl crush, having called him that just a few days ago when you first started working together.

Nick scoffed, “What? No, absolutely not” but the small smirk on his lips was a dead giveaway. “Okay, maybe it was kind of an ego thing, just a little bit” he whispered his confession. You all but giggled in response

“It’s gettin’ late, what do you say I walk you back to your hotel huh?” he offered, standing up and putting his coat on before reaching for yours 

“I’d like that, thank you, Detective” You smiled, standing from your seat and sighing as he carefully put your coat on for you.

The hotel wasn’t far but god you wished it had been, it would’ve given you some more time to flirt with the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen in your life

(exaggerating? Pft nuh-uh) 

But yet, here you stood, in front of the tall building that ruined your excitement.

“Hey, uh how would you feel if the next time you were in New York, I took you out?” Nick asked, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket, his tie hanging loosely around his neck.

You smiled, hoping the lights surrounding you both hid the blush on your cheeks instead of accentuating it. “Or if you’re ever in Virginia?” 

He smiled, nodding. 

“I think I’d like that a lot” You responded, quietly, suddenly very sober.

“Great, have a safe flight back home, alright?”

it's already over

“Thank you for walking me back, Nick” 

“Anytime, goodnight, sweetheart” he smiled once more.

Sweetheart

“Goodnight, detective”

#nick amaro x reader #nick amaro x you #nick amaro imagine #svu imagine #law and order svu imagines #nick amaro fluff #nick amaro #Spotify

[covetyou]

send in the clown

ao3 ⋆ main masterlist ⋆ series masterlist

pairing: Dieter Bravo x f!reader rating: Explicit (18+ only!) warnings: clowns, dubcon, unprotected P in V, anal play, grinding, titty play (clown motorboating), drug use, hotboxing, the shoes stay on, unconventional use of grease paint word count: 4.1k summary: You lose your scarf on a visit to the carnival. Send in Dieter Bravo - washed up actor turned circus clown.

A/N: Happy Halloweekend, friends! Originally this was going to be some dark evil fic with a murderous clown and some non-con, but basically I can't do that. So here you have washed up actor clown Dieter instead, and he's going to rock your world. You're welcome.

This is not inherently scary, but probably something to avoid if you really hate clowns. It's essentially just clown porn. I'm not sorry.

10 points to anyone who can spot the Oscar.

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Want Dieter at the carnival, but don't want the clowns? Check out Candy by @secretelephanttattoo

Loud noises and knives and fire and bodies bent into strange shapes.

It sounded more like a horror movie down on paper, but the lights and music were dazzling, amazing, turning something terrifying into something beautiful.

You sipped too sweet drinks and munched on overpriced snacks as you watched on with your friends, laughing and gasping with them as the sights before you unfolded. A tiny woman bending herself over backwards, shooting apples off of people's heads with a bow and arrow clenched in her delicate feet. A couple swinging through the air, no wire in sight, fabric fluttering along behind them as they flew. Sword swallowers, fire breathers, acrobats, magicians, clowns.

Clowns.

You were mesmerized by it all, taken in so completely, that when you all stumbled out after several hours and made your way home, you didn't even notice you'd left your scarf until you moved to pull it off as you stepped in your front door. They weren't in town for long, things like this never were, so you turn around and head back to your car, driving back the way you came until the big top comes back into view.

It had been almost an hour since you left and the parking lot was mostly empty now, save for a few cars closer to the entrance. The sign was no longer illuminated, but lights shone brightly from inside the gate as a handful of people bustled around, packing up for the night.

You make your way to the ticket booth, spotting a grizzly old man with a toothpick between his teeth closing up, pulling a small box filled with ticket stubs and loose change out from the desk.

"We're closed," he grumbles, not bothering to look at you as he turns the key, locking the booth, and stomps away.

"I know," you shout, feet squelching in a wet patch of grass as you stumble after him. "I lost something, left it here. Do you have a lost and found?"

He stops, eyes you up, then sends you inside, directing you to an open sided tent. You walk in semi-darkness, listening out for the shouts and jokes of the cast and crew ending their day.

Two people sit there, feet up on a box and cards in hand. One has a threadbare sweater thrown on over a skimpy lyrca outfit adorned in sequins, the other looks like he could have been in the audience if it wasn't for the peak of tattoos from the top of his hoodie and across his hands.

They don't notice you standing there, so you clear your throat. Sequins is just about to play a card, but halts mid way through the movement and looks up, raising his painted on eyebrows at you.

"We're closed," Tattoos repeats, not bothering to turn to look your way.

"I lost a scarf. Was told to come here," you explain. You just want your scarf back.

Sequins slaps the card down on the box then sits back, eyeing you up and down just as the grizzled old man did, crossing his toned arms over his chest. "What's it look like?"

"Woolen, red and brown kind of checks. It's pretty big, almost like a blanket?"

Tattoos scoffs, finally turning to look at you. "Oh yeah, that one. Bravo the Clown took it. No one ever comes back for shit they lose at the circus, toots. If you want it back you're gonna have to go ask him."

"Okay, and where can I find this Bravo the Clown."

They send you off to a trailer on the other side of the camp. You hear their laughter as you turn your back and walk away, squelching back through patches of wet grass that hadn't been boarded over.

The trailer is worn and old, a colorful tarp covering the front window and stapled into the ground. "Bravo" is scrawled on the door in sharpie, scribbles of other color around it so it looks like the name has exploded from the door. There's a faint light from inside, and you can hear music playing, but there's no answer when you knock.

You try the handle, the door opening a crack before jamming. You tug harder, and the door swings open, nearly knocking you down onto the wet ground.

Smoke billows out. You almost think there's a fire when you smell something earthy and herbal. Definitely not a fire.

You call out over the music, a repetitive carnival jingle, and when there's no response, you climb up the few steps and step foot into the trailer of Bravo the Clown.

It's dark inside, the smoke barely cleared and the tarp masking any light from outside in a red haze. The herbal stench in the air is thicker inside, covering the stale musky smell of sweat and dust.

When your eyes adjust to the dark through the haze of smoke, you see the place is a mess. Wigs of all shapes and colors are thrown haphazardly onto a crooked shelf on the wall, something shiny hidden behind a puff of rainbows. Shoes litter the walkway, and clothes and costume pieces are strewn over a bench seat. There's a patch where it looks like someone has been sitting, and next to it, your scarf, screwed tight into a messy ball and pushed down into the rest of the clothing.

You approach, going to grab your scarf and leave, when you're distracted by a long mirror sitting to one side, a worn chair in front of it. There's a vanity where brushes and pallettes are thrown, pots of grease paint left open and discarded.

You drag your fingers across the worn wooden vanity. Picking up one pot of paint - a vibrant white - you are moments from swiping your finger across the pristine surface when a gruff voice startles you.

"What the fuck?!"

You spin, paint falling from your hand and clattering to the ground. Stood there is a half man, half clown, joint perched between his lips, makeup smudged over his face. His hair is sweaty, sticking up at all angles, wig nowhere to be seen. You cast your eyes down him. An oversized striped shirt is pulled open, graying undershirt beneath on show, sweat stains at the armpits and a wet patch on the hem. His red pants are unbuttoned, slung low on his hips, his suspenders unclipped at the front and hanging down low behind him. Large shoes jut out from the bottoms, bulbous and curving slightly upward.

"What the fuck are you doin' in here," he says from around the joint, throwing his hands up in the air.

You stumble over your words, stuttering a few times before you can spit it out. He looks at you like you're stupid, like you're the one with paint smeared over your face.

"I- I lost my scarf. They said you had it, I'm sorry, I-"

"What? Do you think breaking and entering is okay because I'm a fuckin' clown," he yells, pulling the door closed and slamming it hard when it gets jammed again.

He stalks toward you, blowing a puff of smoke into your face, making your eyes water, before he flops down into the worn chair in front of the vanity. It creaks as he stretches back, the tip of one of his too big shoes running up your leg.

"Do you think stealing is okay because you're a clown?" you retort, hands on your hips, shaking your head in disbelief. You never pictured your evening ending in an argument with a half-dressed clown.

More smoke puffs from his mouth as he laughs at you, face contorting strangely as he smiles with a down turned red mouth smeared across his own.

"What're you going to give me," he says, pulling his shirt off and throwing it onto the pile on the bench.

"What?"

He takes another long drag on his joint, and lets the smoke billow from his lungs before he sits back and replies. "For the scarf. What's it worth to you."

You watch his hand stroke down his belly, past the wet patch on his t-shirt and down to the front of his pants. He adjusts himself, rolling his hips as he palms his cock through the fabric.

You swallow a lump in your throat. Maybe it's the smoke going to your head, the haze of the room making you feel stuffy and floaty, clouding your judgement. Or maybe you've always had a fucking thing for clowns, you flithy b-

"Anything," you say, before you can stop yourself. He laughs, throwing his head back as he flicks ash onto the floor.

"Then take that coat off and come here. Show me them pretty tits."

You unbutton your coat, throwing it onto the bench with your scarf. You look down, thick sweater obstructing any view he'd have of your chest, and decide to yank that off too, pulling it over your head and discarding it with your coat. You take a deep breath, lungs filling with smoke and the sweaty smell of Bravo the Clown, before you pull down your tank top and bra, pushing your tits out of their cups and exposing them to the cold air.

"Can I have my scarf back now?"

"No! I want a closer look," he pats his lap, visible tent now forming in his red pants. "Come sit down on Bravo the Clowns lap, sugar tits," he says with husky laugh.

You shuffle forward trying not to trip over his shoes as you wonder how you'll perch on his lap with his knees spread so wide. You don't have long to think when he grabs you by the hand and pulls you onto him, your knees straddling either side of his thighs on the chair. It creaks and groans, and you shift on him, terrified the old chair is going to collapse with the weight of you.

He takes a final long drag from his joint, before snuffing it on the vanity and blowing the rest of the smoke into your face. You cough and splutter, blinking back watering eyes, when two large hands come up and grab your tits, massaging them as your chest heaves.

"Nice."

You blink again and look down to see him smiling at your tits, nodding as he massages them. He squeezes them together, watching as the skin squishes and puckers under his fingers. His hands are rough, fingernails painted with chipped polish that glitters in the dim lighting of his trailer. The grimace painted onto his face a stark contrast to the man underneath having the time of his life.

He's entranced, looking at your tits as he squeezes them. Painted fingertips come and pinch your nipples, pulling at them and making you gasp. Your back arches as he tugs, jiggling both as he pinches and laughing as they ripple with the movement. Your hips shift forward, nudging the hardness in his pants, and you fight to still yourself and not grind against him.

Before you know it, he's mashing your tits together again and shoving his face between them, rubbing the scruff of his jaw across your delicate skin, smearing paint all over your chest. He breathes in, and you feel him start to nip and suckle at your flesh as he rubs from side to side, burying his face in you as you push your hips down hard onto his cock.

As quick as he started, he flops back with a sigh, letting your tits fall heavy from his grasp. He smiles serenely as he looks at his handiwork, white and red and blue smeared into a mess of lavender across your tits.

"Think you liked that as much as I did," he taunts, gesturing to where your crotch sits flush against his stiff cock. "Shame you're in so many fuckin' layers." He runs a hand up your thigh, pinging the thickness of your tights against your leg before fingers play with the edge of your skirt where it's bunched around your thighs. He tugs it higher, pulling it to your waist.

He slides his hands back down, thumbs tracing down the front of your tights, teasing the apex of your thighs. One hand holds you there, stopping you from rocking into him again, whilst the other slides between you, rubbing broadly over your damp, covered crotch.

You close your eyes, letting him massage your pussy with his large hand, the sensation muted by so many layers. You rock into his palm as you float along on his lap, lost in his heavy breathing and the monotonous music still jingling along in the background.

He starts muttering, playing with the waistband of your tights, looking for a better way in, a way to get to your cunt that means you don't have to get off his lap. Your eyes snap open, you watch as he shrugs, a wicked smile pulling smeared makeup across his face. He pulls at your tights, gripping in both hands, tearing the fabric and exposing your inner thighs and panties to him. You can't help but moan as you feel his hand find your bare skin, and push against the wet front of your panties.

He lets out a low whistle, he'd barely touched you and you're dripping, grinding against his hand. "I can do one better than my hand," he says, waggling his eyebrows and looking down to his crotch. He's fully hard now, tent more impressive than the big tops outside.

Before he can say another word, you're reaching for his pants, pulling the zipper down and fishing out his rock hard length. He pulls both his arms back holding them up in mock surrender.

"Woah, woah!" he laughs.

You start to stroke his cock, pumping up and down, drawing the precum dripping from his tip over your palm and down his length with each stroke. He's watching you as you play with him, teasing his tip, reaching down into his red pants with your other hand to stroke his balls. They're heavy in your hand and sticky with sweat, but you squeeze them as you jerk him, making him groan, throw his head back and grip the arms of his chair.

Your pussy is cold without his hand, neglected. You don't want to let go of the weight of him, so you rub his tip over the front of your soaked panties, dragging it over your clit and applying pressure as you circle it with his head. You need more, more friction, so you hold him against you, rocking your hips against one side of him as your palm holds him to you in the other.

"Oh, hell yeah. Are you gonna come just from grinding on me?!" he says in disbelief, listening to your desperate moans as you jerk him against your pussy.

"No," you gasp, watching a bead of sweat trickle down the side of his face over the layer of greasy paint. The look of him alone is almost sending you stratospheric - the hair, the paint, the sweat - but the friction against your pussy isn't enough. "I want to put it in me."

He looks like he's won the lottery, wide eyes and thrilled face covered in paint nodding back at you, gesturing down to his dick as if to say help yourself.

You yank your panties to the side as you rock your hips into his cock, still holding him tight to you. Your slick pussy glides up and down his length, his head rubbing directly over your clit with each cant of your hips. You're moaning, wiggling on him as he watches straight down at his cock gliding against your bare cunt.

"Do you have a...?" you say, looking around the room for anywhere where he might stash a condom.

"Nope," he says, popping the P. "If you want it, you gotta take it like this."

You don't even consider any other option, you simply plunge your two middle fingers deep inside you, gathering your slick before smearing it around yourself and down the other side of Bravo the Clown's cock. You raise up on your knees, the chair creaking again as you move, and tease him against your entrance before taking him inside you.

"Oh, Bravo," you moan as you sink down onto his cock.

"Thank you, I'm here 'til Tuesday," he jokes, miming a bow from where he's seated. You bet he uses that on everyone. You soon wipe the smug grin off his face when you lift up and slam back down onto him, moaning his name once again before you begin fucking yourself on him in earnest. "Fuck."

"Dieter," he whines as you bounce on him, chasing a high that seems so out of reach with the high already muffling your head, "Name's Dieter."

"Dieter," you groan, bottoming out and groaning as you rock your hips over him, his cock seated deep in you.

"Fuck yeah, that's it," he grunts, clown shoes planted flat on the floor giving him leverage to pound up into you as you meet his every thrust. The chair is creaking, the trailer shaking, your lavender colored tits bouncing with each pound. His glazed over eyes watch them bounce in front of his face, a frown knitting his brows together and creasing the paint slathered on his skin as he tries to focus on your jiggling breasts. You think you see him go cross eyed as he tries to look at both of your nipples at once.

You're about to reach your hand down, circle your clit and bring yourself over the edge when arms wrap around you pulling you toward him, face falling into his neck. You can smell him more strongly here, the smell of sweat and weed clinging to him like a second skin. He holds onto your ass as he pounds up into you, pulling your cheeks apart. From this angle you can feel the grind of his hair against your clit with every thrust, and you muffle your moan into his neck.

"Ohhhhh."

"Gonna have to give me more than that, ain't been long since I last came," he huffs into your ear as he pulls you apart. You can feel the slick smear of grease paint on the side of your face.

There's another loud rip, your tights being torn again, this time from behind to expose more of your ass. He slows down the roll of his hips into yours as he pulls you deeper, and deeper, letting you grind down onto him even easier, the rub of him against your clit almost perfect now. The feel of his throbbing cock deep in your pussy, rough hands pulling your ass open and the scratch of his pubic hair on your clit feel so good, but you can't quite get there, whatever end you're trying to reach chased away by the fuzz in your head.

You whine from his neck, shifting your hips, trying to see if another spot would work better. Bravo - Dieter catches on and you hear his voice rumble from his chest as you rock on his lap.

"What's your favorite color?"

Now hardly seems like the time to get to know each other, but you humor him. "Blue," you breathe, rubbing your nose against his cheek, the smell of grease paint strong.

"Blue it is."

One arm lets go of you and you hear something on the vanity. You keep rocking your hips, still so close but not close enough. He brings his hand back and you gasp at a foreign sensation between your cheeks.

It's thick and slick, swiping smoothly across your asshole. You moan and gasp against his face, halting your movements and lifting off him a fraction. He laughs, swiping his slicked finger back and forth over your ass, circling the tight ring before dipping a fingertip in just as he pulls you back down flush onto his cock.

It's intense, and you moan so loud Tattoos and Sequins can probably hear you.

"And that's improv," he says, grunting as he picks up the pace of his thrusts again.

"Fuck, more," you beg, as he slips more of his fingertip into your ass, fucking you hard now as you grip his neck and bring your face in line with his.

He laughs at you, panting with the effort of fucking you. "Oh you're freaky, I like it."

"Watch who you're calling a freak, clown." Your grip his neck, holding on for dear life, unphased by the spread of his face paint onto your own skin.

Both arms are wrapped around you, one feeling at your entrance where he pounds into you, creamy slick coating his fingers with each thrust, the other between your cheeks, finger hooked into your tight hole. His finger tugs at you with each bounce onto his cock, stretching you and making you feel fuller than you are. You tilt your hips again, clit colliding with his thick hair, gridning against you, and you see stars glitter around your vision. They're so close now, the haze in your brain diffusing the light as it draws closer and closer.

"Hnnnng, I'm so close," you groan, rubbing your nose against his.

"Fuck," he mumbles as you pull his mouth onto yours. You kiss him, moaning and grinding against his lap, his tongue flicking against the seam of your lips just as the stars align and burst in your vision.

You come with a deep groan into his mouth, clenching tight around his cock as he frantically pounds up into you, hips stuttering as sweat drips down his face. You feel him start to twitch and then his cock is slipping from you, the remnants of your own orgasm fading as his cock slides against the outside of your cunt and spurts thick ropes of cum up against his belly, catching the already damp hem of his t-shirt.

You sit, faces together, panting for a moment, kissing him again just before he slides his finger from your ass, wiping the slick onto your exposed skin. When he looks down at his spent cock, he groans and huffs.

"Not again. I like this shirt."

He tuts at himself, flopping his arms down and looking around for something to tidy up with. He gives up, instead grabbing a tin from the vanity, popping it open, and starts to roll another joint on his chest.

You take that moment to climb off him, covering your pussy with the scrap of fabric of your panties, tugging your skirt down and your tank top up to cover as much of you as you can. The paint on your chest will stain, but you'll think about that later.

You throw your coat back on, not bothering with your sweater or the mess on your face, when Dieter addresses you again.

"Don't forget your scarf."

You roll your eyes, casting an exasperated look at him only to see him looking up at you with a mischievous glint in his eye.

You take your scarf, unbunching it and immediately sticking your hand in something wet and sticky. Even in the darkness, you can tell it's almost definitely cum. You look over to Dieter, disgusted look on your face as he shrugs his shoulders.

"If I'd known you'd come here begging for some of this," he gestures down his slouched body, "I never would've done that sweet cheeks. That one's on you."

"You're an ass."

"I'm not an ass, I'm the one and only Bravo the Clown." He spreads his arms wide, looking obscene with his flaccid cock hanging out of his bright red pants, belly covered in cum and face paint smeared all over his face. He places the unlit joint between his lips and you walk past him, pushing open the door to his trailer and stepping outside into the clear air. You take a deep breath, head already feeling clearer when you turn back, a question on your lips.

He's stood at the door of his trailer, tucking his cock back in, looking even crazier now that your head is clearer.

"The music?" you ask. It'd been playing this whole time, the same tune over and over.

"It's called method acting, sweet cheeks," he says with a wink, lighting his new joint and tilting his head back to expel a plume of smoke into the night sky.

You laugh, you can't help it, the man is a caricature even of himself, but there's something so intoxicating about it.

"Goodnight, Dieter."

You walk back to your car to the tinkling of fairground music and Bravo the Clown's raspy laughter.

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#dieter bravo x reader #dieter bravo x you #dieter bravo smut #dieter bravo fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #the bubble fanfiction #dieter bravo #cw clowns #fic: carnal-val #coveted fics

[maximoffcarter]

Happier.

Pairings: Casey Novak x reader, Past Olivia Benson x reader.

Summary: The moment reader met Olivia, she knew it was over for her. Two 'straight girls' loving each other behind everyone's backs was meant to be cute and the perfect love story, but it doesn't always work that way. And then, there was Casey Novak.

A/n: Here is the winner of the poll! Once again, bestie here @saurgaeee giving me the ideas. I really do have to give her most of the credit because this amazing girl is pushing me to write all this great ideas and keeps me writing everyday and I love every moment of it, so please thank my bestie here. I gotta say that...I kinda feel bad for Olivia, but if you ask me...I'll always choose my wife Casey Novak. If you got any requests, please don't be shy and drop them at my ask box or message me, I’m kind of getting over the requests and ideas and I do wanna write more haha! Enjoy and leave your comments, reblogs, hearts, whatever you'd like, will be very much appreciated🫶🏻

*not my gif*

“Hey! Y/n is here!” Elliot smiled as y/n walked to them.

“Hi guys.” Y/n smiled softly as she stood beside Olivia.

“What brings our favorite therapist here?” Munch said as he sat on his chair, offering a smile.

“Don’t let Huang hear you or he’ll be hurt.” Fin joked.

Y/n rolled her eyes. “We have different but similar professions. I don’t think Huang will mind.” She grinned as she looked at Munch. “I was on my way to court, but I thought you’d need a copy of my report from the Lopez case. I have some time before I need to be there.” She placed the file on Elliot’s desk. She then smiled as she looked back at Olivia. “Can I talk to you?” She whispered softly, enough for Olivia to hear.

Olivia nodded as she offered a small smile. “Sure.” She looked back at the guys and smiled. “Be right back, gonna walk y/n out.” She placed her hand on y/n’s back and walked with her.

Truth was that y/n had not only stopped by the precinct to drop off the file, but also because she has been wanting all day to go visit Olivia. They had been secretly dating for a whole year and whenever they had a chance, they’d visit each other, Olivia more often than y/n since they had not told anyone about it. The moment y/n met Olivia, she knew she was screwed because Olivia was in her mind 24/7. Y/n sighed softly as they walked to one of the offices that were pretty much empty, and the squad wouldn’t be able to see that they had gone in there. As soon as the door closed, Olivia placed her hands on y/n’s waist and pushed her against the door, kissing her lips softly. Y/n sighed against her lips as she kissed her back, her hands going to Olivia’s neck to pull her closer, but when she felt Olivia’s hand going under her shirt, she pulled away and looked down, placing her hand on Olivia’s chest to stop her.

Olivia furrowed her brows as she looked at y/n. “Is something wrong?”

Y/n shook her head as she huffed a chuckle. “Liv…we really need to talk about us.” She looked up at Olivia.

“What about us?” Olivia asked softly as she took a step back.

Y/n nibbled on her lip as she looked away for a moment, shrugging as she scoffed. “The fact that after a whole year together…you’re still pulling me into empty offices so you can kiss me, but whenever we’re out of the apartment or the office, it’s like you barely know me.” She looked back at Olivia. “I don’t want to pressure you into coming out. I don’t want to be that person that pressures you into telling everyone that you’re dating a girl, because I am not that person. But Liv…how long is this gonna keep going?”

Olivia took a deep breath as she looked away. She shook her head softly, trying to find the right words to say. “I- I don’t know. I just…I’m not ready.”

“Olivia is not like I’m asking you to put it on the papers. I’m not asking you to tell the whole precinct that we’re dating. But I just cannot be a secret anymore. I want to hold your hand, I want to be able to hug you without you being tensed, I want to take you out on dates, I want to be your person. I want to tell you that I love you without being cautious of who is listening to us.” Y/n sighed as she walked to Olivia and held her hands. “Olivia…I hate to be this person, I really do. But how much longer are we gonna keep pretending that we’re nothing to the world?”

Olivia sighed as she looked down and shook her head. “I just can’t do it.” She looked up at y/n and shrugged. “I’ve told you before why I don’t want to go public.”

“I know the risk of your job. But we both know that’s not the real reason.” Y/n smiled sadly. She then sighed as she leaned in and kissed her cheek softly. “I’ll call you later.” She turned to leave.

“You’re not coming over today?”

Y/n turned to look at Olivia as she opened the door. “I don’t know.” She stared at Olivia for a moment and then left the office.

Y/n knew better than to pressure someone to come out, she had treated so many people before who had told her about how hard it was for them to come out to their families or friends, how it could ruin their life or their jobs, she’s had so many people asking for advice on what to do, and she’s heard of others who have admitted that even if it would affect their lives, they could and would come out. She herself had been hiding who she truly was since she could remember, and the reality was that Olivia had been the person that made her break that idea that she was straight.

She knew what she was getting herself into when she started dating Olivia, she had been in denial of falling for the ‘straight girl’ when she herself had considered herself to be one, but the more she spent time with her, the more she wanted to be with her and the fact that Olivia flirted with her every possible chance, gave away the fact that neither of them were straight. So, she gave them a chance. And no, she didn’t regret it, she had fallen for Olivia, and she somehow knew that Olivia felt the same, but lately, it had been more obvious that Olivia had no intention of mentioning that y/n was her girlfriend. She hated the position she was in, asking Olivia to not be a secret anymore, but she had lived in the dark for so long that she didn’t want to be stuck in there more time.

********************

Olivia knocked softly, looking around as she waited for y/n to open. Once she heard the door opening, she smiled softly as she looked at y/n. “Hi.”

Y/n offered a small smile. “I figured you’d come.” She said softly.

“I couldn’t just leave our conversation like that.”

Y/n nodded and stepped aside to let Olivia in. “I know.”

Olivia walked into the apartment and waited for y/n to close the door. She turned to look at her and offered a smile. “Have you eaten?”

Y/n nodded. “I just finished. I have some leftovers if you want some.”

Olivia shook her head. “I’m good.”

“Anything to drink?”

“I’m good.” Olivia cleared her throat as she looked down at her hands. “Y/n, I-“

“I can’t do this anymore, Liv.” Y/n whispered softly as she looked at Olivia, her eyes watering.

Olivia looked up at y/n, feeling a pressure in her chest. “Y/n…please don’t do this.”

“I’m sorry…” Y/n bit her lip as she tried to hold back her tears. “Olivia, we can’t keep this going. I don’t want to be the reason you push yourself to come out. I hate to be that person, and earlier I figured out that I was, and I felt like a hypocrite. I don’t want to pressure you, I don’t want to push you to do that. But I cannot do this. I can’t be hiding again, not when I did it for a long time, I cannot go back to that.” She sobbed softly as she shook her head. “You made me realize who I truly was, and maybe it was me that I just felt safe enough to put it out there, and I don’t blame you for not wanting to do the same. You’re…you’re amazing, Liv. I don’t want us to end up in bad terms. So I’m setting you free.”

Olivia shook her head as she walked to y/n, her hands going to y/n’s cheeks and kissing her forehead softly. “No. Y/n, please. Don’t do this. I just…I can’t. I’m just figuring out who I am, and what I want. This job…I need you, y/n.” She pulled away enough to look down at y/n.

Y/n closed her eyes as she tried to avoid Olivia’s stare. “You don’t have to do anything, Olivia.” She looked at Olivia as she sobbed, tears now rolling down her cheeks. “You can do this at your own pace, and I’ll be here if you need me. But I cannot be part of it anymore. I cannot go at your pace anymore. I need to go at my own pace. And if we keep pushing, if we keep trying…we’re just gonna keep hurting each other, Liv.”

Olivia closed her eyes as tears rolled down her cheeks. She shook her head softly. “I’m sorry.” She whispered softly.

Yn smiled sadly, kissing Olivia’s forehead softly. “I’m sorry too.” She whispered and pulled away to look at Olivia, her hands grabbing Olivia’s and kissing the back of them softly. “I’ll be here.”

Olivia nodded as she took a deep breath. “I should go…”

“Okay.” Y/n nodded as she let go of Olivia’s hands.

Olivia opened the door and stood there for a moment, looking back at y/n. “You know I love you, right?”

Y/n smiled sadly. “Yes.”

Olivia nodded one last time before she walked out of the apartment and closed the door behind her.

********************

Casey groaned as she looked down at her watch, waiting for the doors of the elevator to open. She thought she had more time to get to court but it seemed like destiny was not on her side that day and the traffic had been worst than it usually was. So now, here she was, standing right in front of the elevator, hoping that she could make it up in the next 5 minutes. As the doors opened, she went inside and pressed the buttons to close the doors and to the floor she needed to get to, but before the doors closed, she heard someone yelling to stop the doors, and even if she wanted to be selfish that day, she knew that she’d want someone to hold the doors for her if she was the one yelling, so she did just that.

“Thanks.” Y/n breathed out as she literally ran into the elevator, offering a small to Casey.

Casey nodded as she returned the smile. “Floor?”

Y/n looked at the floors and smiled. “Going to the same one.” She looked at Casey and for a moment felt her heart stopping as she noticed the redhead. She cleared her throat and looked at the doors, trying not to look at the redhead again.

Both of them fell into silence as they waited to get to their floor, but again, it seemed like destiny was not in the mood to be nice that day, and suddenly they heard a loud sound coming from the elevator, and suddenly it stopped. While y/n pressed herself again the wall grabbing her cellphone, Casey cursed under her breath and tried to press any button, but nothing was working, groaning as she realized that she’d not get to her arraignment in time. She pressed the emergency button and then got her cellphone out, calling someone to let them know that she was stuck in the elevator, and she wouldn’t make it.

“Guess destiny is not on justice’s side, huh?” Y/n joked as she looked at Casey, a faint grin on her face. “Unless you’re here for the defense?”

Casey huffed a chuckle. “The first one sounds right.” She turned to look at y/n and smiled. “You?”

Y/n shrugged. “I was supposed to testify but…guess that won’t be happening today.”

Casey chuckled softly as she nodded. “Yep.” She put her cellphone back in her briefcase and sighed. “Well…guess we’ll be here for a while.” She offered a smile and extended her hand. “I’m Casey.”

“I’m y/n.” Y/n smiled softly as she took Casey’s, for a moment her breathing stopped again as she held her hand for a little longer than she expected, noticing Casey’s faint smirk on her face. She let go of her hand and cleared her throat, putting a strand of hair behind her ear. “So…uh…ADA?”

“Yeah, actually. I recently started in SVU.”

Y/n scoffed as she looked down at the floor. “I’m familiar with it.”

Casey’s smile fainted a little as she looked at y/n. “Oh. I’m-“

Y/n looked back at Casey. “No! No, I mean…I’ve worked with them. I’m…I’m a therapist. I used to…to treat some of the victims.”

“Oh! Yes, I…heard Huang mentioning you once. They really miss you.” Casey grinned.

Y/n shrugged as she grinned. “Can’t say I’m not better than Huang but.” She chuckled softly.

Casey chuckled as she nodded. “Well, I’d definitely love to work with you if you ever think about going back.” She grinned.

Y/n stared at her for a moment, a smile appearing on her face without her noticing. “To see me or to actually work with me?”

Casey shrugged. “Maybe both.” She nibbled on her lip as she tried to hold back a smile.

Y/n’s eyes landed on Casey’s lips, suddenly she was left speechless. Her eyes went back to green ones, her smile widening. “We can always go for a coffee, or…lunch?”

“I was thinking the same thing.” Casey smiled, looking into her briefcase, and getting a small card along with a pen. She wrote something on it and then handed it to y/n. “That’s my personal number. We can arrange a day and time.”

Y/n looked down at it and smiled softly, nodding her head as she looked back at Casey. “Sounds like a plan.”

Before they could say anything else, the doors to the elevator opened, making them turn their heads and look at the officers that had forced the doors open. Casey mentioned that she had to run but that she’d see her again soon and then exited the elevator, leaving y/n with a smile on her face as she watched her go. She walked out of the elevator and looked down at the card in her hand, smiling as she saw her name and the phone number. She had told herself that she would only focus on herself after the heartbreak that she had gone through 6 months ago, but she was not about to lose a chance to go on a date with a pretty redhead. Maybe after all, destiny hadn’t been as bad as she thought.

********************

“Do you really need to go to that conference?” Casey pouted as she looked at y/n.

Y/n chuckled softly as she walked around the desk and pushed Casey’s chair back, so she was able to sit on her lap, wrapping her arms around her neck and pecking her lips softly. “It’s just for 2 days, and I won’t be too far away. I’ll just be in Chicago.” She ran her hand through Casey’s hair. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Yeah, well, I got a lot of work so that’s good.” Casey smiled softly as she looked up at her girlfriend. “I can take you to the airport in the morning, I got some time.”

Y/n smiled softly. “I’d love that actually.” She chuckled as she leaned down and kissed her lips softly. “Are we still on for dinner tonight?”

“You know we are, wouldn’t miss it for anything.” Casey whispered against her lips. “But, I do have to go to court right now. I got some motions and need to pay a visit to Petrovsky.”

“Of course you do.” Y/n chuckled as she stood up.

“You wanna come with me? We are going the same way anyway.” Casey stood up and grabbed her briefcase, looking back at her and smiling.

Y/n smiled softly and nodded. “Sure.”

It had been a whole year since Casey and y/n had started dating. Y/n had been more than nervous once things started getting serious with Casey to say the least, after their first date, y/n thought that maybe Casey would want to leave it there and they wouldn’t go for a second date, but Casey had been so sweet and charming, looking at y/n in a way that made her feel butterflies in her stomach and she was pretty sure that the whole date, she had been blushing like a teenager. The date had been longer than she had expected, they had stayed at the coffee shop for so long, and then they walked around for a while until they got back to y/n’s. The second date, Casey had taken her to a fancy and beautiful restaurant, and y/n felt like she was in heaven by the way Casey was treating her, everything was just perfect.

Y/n really found it pretty hard to think that she had someone like Casey in her life, things seemed too good to be truth and when Casey confessed she wanted them to be more, y/n felt so scared to be a secret again, but there was not turning back now, not when she was falling hard for Casey, and she wanted nothing more than to give their relationship a chance; and she had taken the best decision ever. The first time she thought Casey would only introduce her as a friend, was one time that Casey had invited her to the batting cages; y/n had told Casey that she wanted to see her play or at least practice, so Casey had invited her to come with her after work. What she didn’t expect was to find some of Casey’s colleagues that also happened to practice there, and when Casey had greeted them, she had thought about stepping aside and wait until she was done talking to them, but to her surprise, Casey grabbed her hand and pulled her to her side to introduce her as her girlfriend.

Y/n remembered the way her heart almost burst out of her chest at the love and happiness she felt, for a moment she believed she was dreaming, but when Casey wrapped her arm around her waist and pulled her closer, she knew it was real. That’s when y/n figured out that Casey was not ashamed of showing her off and that she really meant it when she said she was in love with her. She had told Casey about her failed relationship with Olivia but never told her it had been with her, just told her what had happened, so she thought maybe Casey wanted to show her that she was willing to make their relationship work. That was the first time that y/n had felt truly free, not afraid to show who she was and to show the person she loved, it was when she figured out that she couldn’t imagine her life without Casey, and that she’d do anything to keep her in it.

“Please call me once you’re in the hotel.” Casey said as she placed y/n’s suitcase on the floor, wrapping her arms around y/n’s waist and smiling. “And please be safe.”

Y/n chuckled softly as she wrapped her arms around Casey. “I will be, Novak. I’m a big girl.” She smiled.

“You’re still my baby.” Casey grinned as she kissed her forehead softly.

Y/n blushed slightly as she looked up at Casey. “I’ll miss you.” She grinned.

Casey smiled, leaning down to kiss her lips softly. “Just 2 days, and then I’ll pick you up and we’ll go for dinner.”

“And dessert?” Y/n raised her brow playfully as she smirked.

Casey chuckled as she leaned down. “That one will be when we get home.” She whispered in her ear and nibbled on her earlobe.

Y/n bit her lip and pushed Casey’s back enough to look at her. “Case!” She chuckled softly. “I cannot wait.”

Casey smiled and pecked her lips one more time. “I love you.”

Y/n smiled softly. “I love you more. Be safe yourself.” She pecked her lips and then grabbed her suitcase. “Try not to miss me too much!” She yelled as she walked away.

“I’ll try my best.” Casey chuckled as she watched her girlfriend go.

*******************

“Thanks for coming for a drink with me.” Olivia said as she looked back at Casey, offering a small smile.

Casey shrugged. “Of course, I knew you needed one, and I never say no to one either.” She grinned.

Olivia chuckled as she looked down at her drink. “Elliot told you what happened in there, huh?”

“Yeah...” Casey offered a sympathetic smile. “I don’t blame you for going off on him.”

“He was so proud of wanting to marry a fifteen year old.” Olivia scoffed. “Fifteen, Casey. And he swore that because he offered a good life, it was okay. And he called me a bitter bitch.” She chuckled as she took a sip of her drink. “Though…he might be right.”

Casey frowned. “What you mean?”

Olivia sighed. “I had my chance…to have a good relationship. Someone who really cared about me, didn’t mind my job or hectic hours. They looked out for me, always. They made sure I was okay and made sure I knew I was loved.” She smiled sadly as she looked up at Casey. “I lost it, because I was stupid enough to let them go.”

Casey tilted her head as she listened to Olivia. “We all make mistakes, Liv.”

“I was an idiot, Case. I’m sure they’d have done everything for me and, I just…blew it.” Olivia sighed heavily as she played with her glass, staring at it. “It took me a while but…I figured out that they could’ve been the one.” She looked at Casey and smiled. “You got someone waiting for you?”

Casey smiled as she nodded. “Well…she’s on a trip right now but…I do.”

Olivia smiled. “Can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead.”

“Would you give up everything for her?”

Casey smiled softly as she looked down at her drink. She nodded softly then, looking up at Olivia. “I would.” She said softly. “I cannot imagine life without her. It’s the first time in years that I actually feel loved and the first time in years that I actually am willing to give everything for her.”

Olivia smiled. “She’s a lucky girl.”

“I’m the lucky one.” Casey chuckled.

“And who’s the lucky girl? Someone I know?”

Casey tilted her head. “Actually-“

Olivia looked down at her phone and groaned as she picked up. “Benson.” She sighed as she stood up. “I’m on my way.”

“Everything okay?”

Olivia shook her head. “Apparently not.” She was about to reach in her pocket to get some money.

“Hey, it’s on me. Go.”

Olivia offered a smile. “Thank you.” She said before she left the bar.

********************

“So, we have nothing?” Casey looked back at them.

“It’s bull. He’s not mentally ill. He’s trying to trick us.” Elliot said as he looked back at Casey. “Let’s wait for Huang and he’ll tell us that he’s manipulating us.”

“Huang said he asked for a favor, he can’t come.” Cragen said as he walked to where the squad was.

“Who is it?” Olivia asked but before Cragen could answer, they all looked at the doors.

Casey smiled. “Baby, what are you doing here?”

Olivia turned to look at the person that Casey was greeting, and she felt her heart dropping as her eyes laid on y/n. Did she hear Casey say baby? Was that…shit. After Olivia and y/n had broken up, y/n had decided to not accept any more cases from SVU, she had asked Huang if he could find someone else because she wanted to fully focus on private practice, and SVU cases were taking a lot of time from her, so she never really saw Olivia again. Even though she had said that she didn’t want them to end on bad terms, y/n couldn’t bear the thought of seeing Olivia and working with her when her heart was completely broken. As for Olivia, she had tried to call y/n a bunch of times, but she never answered again and after hearing that she wouldn’t go to the precinct anymore, she knew then that y/n wanted nothing to do with her. So seeing her here after so long, almost 2 years later, and now knowing that she was the girl Casey had been talking about, broke Olivia’s heart even more.

Y/n stared at Olivia for a moment but then decided to walk to Casey who was already walking to her. “Huang called me. Asked me if I could cover for him.” She smiled as Casey kissed her lips softly.

“You and Novak. That is unexpected.” Fin grinned as he looked at both women.

“What can I say? I won the lottery.” Casey said as she kissed the side of y/n’s head.

Y/n smiled as she looked at Casey. “We both did.” She said softly as she kissed her cheek. “Alright. Anything I need to know?”

Olivia only stared at both Casey and y/n as they updated y/n with the case, giving her some information so she didn’t walk into the room in blank. She knew she had to focus on the case, and that y/n was here for the perp, but the fact that she was dating Casey pissed her more than she expected. She was sure that sooner or later, y/n would find someone who could fulfill y/n’s needs, that would love her and that would look out for her the way Olivia was not able to. But the fact that it was Casey Novak who made her happy, who was able to kiss her, hold her, go back home to her, it was pissing Olivia off. Y/n then walked into the interrogation room, and they all stood in Cragen’s office, looking through the window and focusing on their conversation.

“It’s been a while since we’ve had y/n here. It’s nice to have her back.” Elliot said as he smiled.

“My girlfriend is good at what she does.” Casey said softly as she grinned.

“Could you not talk? We’re trying to listen.” Olivia suddenly snapped, looking at Casey and then back at y/n and the perp.

Elliot frowned and looked at Casey who looked back at him, but right after they shook it off, focusing on the conversation. 20 minutes later, y/n had gotten more information than they had done in the last 2 hrs, Casey turned to Elliot and asked him to check his phone record and make sure to find anything at all, leaving Casey and Olivia alone in Cragen’s office. They both stayed quiet for a little longer, y/n looking at the window a while after to let them know that she was about to finish with him.

“She only needed 20 minutes to get him to talk. Isn’t she amazing?” Casey said proudly as she looked at Olivia, a smile on her face.

“Yes, Casey. We know how she works. We have no doubt that she’s good. Or she didn’t tell you that she used to work with us?” Olivia snapped as she turned closed the blinds and turned to leave the office.

“Do you have a problem, Olivia?” Casey frowned as she walked to Olivia.

Olivia turned to look at Casey. “No. I have no problem.”

“You just…completely changed in an instant. Is there anything bothering you or-“

“Look, Casey, we’re really not friends for me to tell you about my problems or go to you to talk. So, don’t pretend like you want to know if I’m okay or not.” Olivia scoffed as she shook her head, turning to walk away.

Casey scoffed as she shook her head. “Oh, now we’re not friends? What happened to that night weeks ago when we were having a drink and talking?”

Olivia shrugged. “We’re colleagues, colleagues do that.”

Casey nodded as she looked away. “Got it.” She offered a smile. “I’m sorry that I thought we were friends.” She passed Olivia and opened the door to walk out of the office.

Olivia sighed heavily as she looked up and found y/n going to Casey, giving her a kiss on the cheek, and smiling at something Casey told her. If she thought she had a chance to get y/n back, now it was long gone. She had found happiness, she had found her person…and Olivia…well…she was wishing she was in Casey’s place.

********************

Olivia knocked on Casey’s door and leaned against the door frame. Casey looked up from her notepad and offered a small smile. “Can I come in?” She showed Casey the bag of food she had in her hands and smiled a little. “I brought Chinese.”

Casey huffed a chuckle and nodded. “C’mon in.”

“I thought you might want a little help in the Duvall case.” Olivia smiled as she sat down and placed the bag in a place where it wouldn’t mess with Casey’s paperwork.

Casey nodded. “Yeah, just going through notes.” She sighed. “But that’s not the only reason you’re here, right?”

Olivia shook her head as she smiled. “I’m sorry about what happened a few weeks ago. I never got to say I was sorry.”

Casey nodded. “I figured you were just going through something, and I made you snap.”

Olivia shrugged. “Maybe, I still shouldn’t have reacted that way.”

“Well, you brought me dinner, so you’re forgiven.” Casey smiled.

“Y/n is not coming?” Olivia asked as she grabbed the bag and looked inside to get the boxes of food.

“Uh, no. She was invited to present a class in Columbia, so I told her I’d meet her at home.” Casey smiled.

“Good.” Olivia looked up at Casey and smiled. “You really are lucky, Case.”

Casey frowned slightly and then smiled. “I know.”

Olivia knew it was not her place to talk about the relationship she had with y/n, not if y/n had not told Casey anything about it. As much as she wanted to tell Casey that y/n had been the person she was talking about back in the bar, she knew that if she mentioned it, it might cause problems between Casey and y/n, and the last thing she wanted, was to have Casey coming after her or y/n getting hurt, so she decided that the best option was to continue as if nothing had happened, and be in good terms with Casey, after all, they were working together.

After an hour or so going over Casey’s notes and the files, Olivia decided to go get some coffee, seeing the hour and realizing that they would definitely spend more time in Casey’s office than they wanted to. She knew that because of the hour, she’d have to walk for a bit to find an open coffee shop, taking her around 30 minutes to get the coffee and go back to Casey’s office. Once she was back, she frowned as she noticed the lights in Casey’s office were now off, for a moment believing that Casey had gone home.

“Casey, I had to go three blocks to find the open coffee shop, if you went home, I’m gonna kill you.” Olivia huffed a chuckle as she opened the door but then she noticed it was completely dark and quiet, frowning again as she reached for the switch of the light and turning it on, finding Casey passed out on the floor. “Casey…” She whispered softly as she dropped the coffee and knelt on the floor to check Casey’s pulse. She got her phone out and dialed 911 asking for a bus and to be quick cause Casey was not responding. She put her phone back in her coat and tried to check if Casey was bleeding from anywhere else, panic suddenly taking over.

After the ambulance and the police arrived, she told Elliot that she’d ride with Casey and to call y/n if he had the chance. The whole ride to the hospital, Olivia kept staring at Casey and hoped that she’d wake up, but she kept hearing that she was not responding but there was a pulse. She held Casey’s hand the whole ride, mumbling a prayer, or anything at all for Casey to wake up and to be alright, she felt guilty for leaving her there and taking so long to find the coffee shop. Once in the hospital,  they got Casey right into surgery and they asked Olivia to wait in the waiting room. She kept pacing around as she waited, her mind filled with thoughts as she tried to remember if she saw someone or anyone that could’ve hurt Casey, and then it hit her that they had sent flowers, and for a moment they had joked that maybe y/n had sent them, which in all honesty, it made Olivia feel a little jealous, but she didn’t say anything. So, if it hadn’t been from y/n, someone else went to Casey’s office and attacked her. As was lost in thought and pacing around the room, she didn’t notice y/n walking into the waiting room, calling for Olivia until she felt a hand on her shoulder, and she looked up to find y/n right in front of her.

“Y/n…” Olivia breathed out.

“Where’s Casey?” Y/n asked almost out of breath.

Olivia took a deep breath as she tried to focus back on the present. “She’s…she’s in surgery. She has a concussion and I think…broken ribs. I don’t…I don’t really know.”

“What happened?” Y/n’s voice trembled as she looked at Olivia, her eyes filling with tears.

“We were…we were going over the case, and we were just talking about it and going over the options, and I offered to go for coffee. I left for…for 30 minutes. And I came back, and she was passed out on the floor. I don’t know-“

“Is there a suspect? Is there someone that wanted to hurt Casey?”

Olivia looked at y/n and shook her head. “I don’t know, y/n.”

Y/n sobbed as she turned away from Olivia, her hands going through Casey’s hair. “I should’ve gone to her office instead of home.”

Olivia sighed as she tried to place her hand on y/n’s shoulder. “Y/n, we didn’t know this would happen-“

“You left her alone.” Y/n turned again to look  at Olivia, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Why did you leave her alone?”

Olivia was taken aback by the question, looking at y/n with disbelief. “Y/n…I didn’t know this was gonna happen.”

“Are you sure?” Y/n snapped.

Olivia scoffed. “What? You think that because I found out you’re dating Casey, that I decided to, what, let a perp or a random person go to Casey’s office to attack her? Are you even listening to yourself right now?”

“Oh, please. Casey told me the way you acted the day I went to the precinct. You were rude when she doesn’t even have any idea about you.”

“I called you. A million times. I regretted so much to let you go so easily. And you never answered!”

“I moved on, so what, Olivia? It’s been almost two years. You thought I’d sit around and wait until you were okay with coming out and telling people that you had something with me? You had no right to treat Casey like that, she did nothing to you. If you wanna take it out on someone, it should be me. Not Casey.” Y/n started to raise her voice as she stared at Olivia.

“I should be the one making you happy and holding your hand! I should be the one loving you, not Casey!”

“You had your chance! I gave you a chance and you took it for granted! I moved on, and I met Casey, and you know what?! Casey is the best thing that has happened to me! I love her like I have never loved anyone! And if I lose her, this will be on you, Olivia!”

“That’s enough!”

Olivia and y/n turned to look at Elliot standing just a few feet away from them. Suddenly they both remembered they were in the waiting room of the hospital and a few people that were there were now staring at them. Y/n swallowed hard as she looked down at the floor, trying to calm down as more tears rolled down her cheeks. Elliot then walked to them and placed a hand on y/n’s shoulder.

“I’ll go ask for Casey, to see if she’s out of surgery.” Y/n whispered softly, walking out of the waiting room.

Elliot stared at Olivia and placed his hand on her shoulder. “What was that about?”

Olivia looked at Elliot with tears in her eyes. “I blew it. I lost y/n a long time ago, and now it’s too late.”

Elliot sighed as he nodded. “You two were dating back when she was helping us, huh?” Olivia nodded. “Why you never told me?”

“I was not sure of who I was or what I wanted, I was confused. I’m not twenty anymore. I was just-“ Olivia shrugged. “I don’t know.” She sniffled as she shook her head. “And I blew it. And now she’s happy with Casey, and I’m still here wishing that it was me.”

“Liv…you need to let her go. She was out of line, what happened to Casey had nothing to do with you, it’s not your fault. But you need to let her go.”

Olivia stared at Elliot as she tilted her head, more tears rolling down her cheeks. “I know.” She whispered softly.

********************

Casey opened her eyes slowly, turning her head as she noticed y/n leaning over her arm fast asleep. She smiled softly and slowly moved her other hand to run her fingers through y/n’s hair. Y/n took a deep breath as she opened her eyes and looked up to find Casey staring at her. “Hi sleepyhead.” Casey whispered softly.

Y/n’s face softened as she smiled. “Welcome back, baby.”

Casey smiled. “I fell asleep as soon as I talked to Olivia.”

Y/n nodded softly. “You did. But that’s okay…you need all the possible rest.” She smiled softly as she got up and leaned down to kiss Casey’s forehead softly. “Do you want some water?”

Casey shook her head slowly. “I’m good.” She sighed. “Can I ask you something?”

Y/n sat in bed and brought Casey’s hand to her lips, kissing the back of it softly. “Anything.”

“It was Olivia, wasn’t it? Your heartbreak.” Casey said softly, almost in a whisper as she looked at y/n.

Y/n sighed as she looked at Casey’s hand and then up at her again, nodding softly. “Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Y/n shrugged. “I didn’t think it was important. Olivia and I…we broke up and after that, we tried to continue working together but it wasn’t easy. And I stopped talking to her and going to the precinct. We lost contact until that day when I went to the precinct again.” She bit her lip softly. “I didn’t mean to hide it from you, Case. If I would’ve known that Olivia was going to act that way-“

“You have history with her. I don’t blame her. I can’t say that I wouldn’t react the way she did.” Casey grinned.

Y/n huffed a chuckle as she shook her head. “Still, she had no right to treat you like that, Casey.”

Casey shrugged. “I can handle it.” She smiled. “So…are you really over her?”

Y/n tilted her head. “You really asking me that?” She smiled. “Case, I’ve been over her since the moment I met you. Even before that. Yes, what I had with Olivia…it was something. She was the first woman I was with, but things didn’t work with her. And I have you, Casey. And no, you’re not a rebound or replacement or anything. I love you, Casey. And I’d do anything not to lose you. I can’t imagine my life without you.” She felt her eyes getting teary as she spoke, afraid that Casey would tell her that they had to break up.

Casey sighed softly as she pulled y/n closer, signaling her to lean down. “I’m not going anywhere, my love. I love you too much to let you go. But…I just needed to know.” She smiled once y/n was resting her forehead against Casey’s carefully. “You cannot get rid of me.”

Y/n chuckled softly. “I better not. I mean it, Casey.”

Casey nodded. “And I mean it too. I love you, and I’d do anything for you. I cannot imagine my life without you either.” She grinned. “We’re too cheesy.”

Y/n laughed softly. “We’re disgusting.” She smiled as she kissed Casey’s lips softly. “Please, never leave me.”

“Not planning to.” Casey smiled as she kissed her lips again.

********************

Y/n took a deep breath as she walked to Olivia’s desk, thankful that the rest of the squad was gone. She cleared her throat softly, making Olivia look up at her. “Hi.”

Olivia sighed. “Hi.”

“I uh…I wanted to talk to you. I’m sorry if I didn’t call before.”

Olivia shook her head. “It’s okay. You want to go somewhere else?”

Y/n shook her head. “I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. I was stressed and worried about Casey.” She sighed. “I really didn’t mean to tell you all those things.”

“But you were right.” Olivia stood up and leaned over her desk. “I shouldn’t have snapped at Casey. I shouldn’t have told you all those things. You had every right to move on.”

Y/n nodded. “You meant so much to me, Olivia. You really did. And you always will.”

Olivia smiled. “But you found your person.”

Y/n smiled. “I did.” She whispered softly.

“I can see that now. And I am so sorry. I’m happy that you’re happy. I truly am. And I hope we can move on from this and…maybe start over.” Olivia smiled as she extended her hand.

Y/n nodded as she held Olivia’s hand. “I’d like that.” She smiled.

Olivia let go of her hand and smiled. “Good. I’m really happy for you, y/n. And I am sorry about what happened to Casey.”

“It wasn’t your fault. It was never your fault.” Y/n smiled. “I know you’ll find the right person, Liv. Just…live your life as you want it. Don’t overthink it too much.”

“I will.” Olivia smiled. “Take care.”

Y/n smiled. “You too.” She squeezed Olivia’s shoulder before she walked away.

Y/n knew that what she had with Olivia had been special, she had helped her figure out that after all, she had been living in denial her whole life and she had been hiding her true self. Sadly, what she had hoped to have with Olivia, had not worked out the way she wanted, and she believed that somehow, it could’ve been fate telling her that Olivia was not the right person. As cheesy as she thought it was, she knew deep inside that Casey was her person, and the one that she wanted to spend her whole life with. Olivia would always hold a place in her heart, but Casey was her person, and she wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.

#casey novak x reader #casey novak #olivia benson x reader #olivia benson #svu fic #svu #law and order svu

[incorrectcabensonquotes]

Fin: Hey Alex, can you-

Alex: No, sorry. I'm busy.

Olivia, walking in: Babe, can you-

Alex: Yes, of course!

Fin: You gotta be kidding me.

John: Seriously, what did you expect? Alex is unable to say no to Olivia.

#incorrect cabenson quotes #cabenson #alex cabot #olivia benson #fin tutuola #john munch #law and order svu #svu #olivia x alex #special victims unit #source: submission