#nick amaro one shot | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rqgnarok · 4 months

Text

leave a light on - nolan price

prequel for love you better now, but can be read individually

fandom: law & order, law & order special victims unit

wc: 4,735

warnings: canon presence of injuries, blood, violence, weapons, and hospitals. female reader.

summary: nolan's wife gets shot. he tries and fails to deal with that.

author's note below! masterlist / ko-fi / ao3

Nolan misses Liv’s call thrice before he calls for a recess.

The first two he’s stuck cross-examining the DA’s witness and he doesn’t realize how many times Liv has tried to get him on the phone until the third time she calls. He can’t answer, obviously– Judge MacNamara is lenient but not enough for Nolan to take a call in the middle of the day– but the call goes to voicemail and his screen lights up with Liv’s other attempts to reach him.

He immediately knows it’s bad. And he immediately knows it’s about his wife.

His chest constricts with his panic, breath catching and refusing to enter his lungs as his brain tries to catch up to the situation. The courtroom is suddenly too small and suffocating, his tie a noose around his neck.

It takes McNamara calling his name several times and the DA snidely wondering if the defense needs a minute for Nolan to somewhat snap out of it, pressing on Liv’s contact before the judge finishes adjourning for the day.

“Nolan,” she says, shaky.

Not Price, which is what he’d expect from his wife’s coworker. They’re all friends, sure, but during work hours they fall into the habit of keeping everyone at arm’s length. Not right now, for some reason, and Nolan is tiptoeing the line between fine and about to crumble on the courthouse steps from a knock-out panic attack.

“What happened?” Because something must’ve happened. His wife has one of the most dangerous jobs out there, life-endangering experiences being the norm and coming home not-dead being a good day. But if Liv is calling– if Liv is calling and (Y/N) isn’t…

Nolan has been psyching himself up for this day since (Y/N) first told him about joining the police academy. He’s still somehow not ready.

He will never be ready for this.

Olivia hesitates for a second too long and Nolan’s fear gets the best of him. “Olivia. What happened?”

Her voice cracks at (Y/N)’s name. Nolan grips his briefcase so tightly on the way to the hospital that his hand goes numb, nails digging into the skin of his palm until it’s red and tender.

The knot of anxiety in his belly doesn’t unclench despite the quick, easy ride to the hospital. New York traffic seems to be doing him a favor, but it isn’t the physical distance he’s worried about. That one at least he’s able to cross. There’s nothing he can do if his wife is… if she…

Nolan finds a sea of cops and NYPD blue as soon as he crosses the threshold into Bellevue, worried and talking over each other as they watch over one of their injured own. None of them are familiar faces and his panic increases tenfold, the sound of his heartbeat in his ears drowning out doctors, officers, and detectives.

Suddenly, the sea of people parts for her, and Olivia is in his line of sight, giving Nolan’s brain something to focus on other than the never-ending possibilities of what he might be facing here. She looks disheveled, shirt askew and vest still halfway on; her hair out of place, and her expression haunted, but no blood. There’s no blood on her and it's an important distinction for Nolan to make when she seizes his free hand in hers.

“Nolan,” she says, and her voice sounds like static, just like it did on the phone. It isn’t the line but Nolan’s brain filled with noise, like cotton in his ears and mouth and eyes stopping him from receiving the world clearly. “Nolan, are you okay?”

“What happened?” he asks again. Liv hadn’t explained, not really. She only told him that (Y/N) was hurt and they were taking her to Bellevue. You should come too, she’d said, and should had sounded more like need, which did nothing to soothe Nolan’s raising hackles.

Nolan’s breath stutters. He knows what happened, but he can’t comprehend it. The hand holding his briefcase is shaking. He asks once more when Liv only blinks at him, mouth open and no words coming out. “What happened?”

“We were chasing a suspect via foot,” and Nick’s there, too, by Liv’s side, like an apparition Nolan might’ve conjured. His brows are furrowed, jaw tense. “We caught him mid-rape and separated to cover more ground. No one had mentioned a gun during their disclosures, he wasn’t supposed to be armed.”

“(Y/N) caught up to him first,” Liv continues, voice dry, shaking her head. “He– Shots went off but we didn’t know– he must’ve known we were onto him. Got his hands on a gun after the first wave of assaults.”

Nolan bites the inside of his cheek. He tastes blood and thinks of his wife, and stops.

“She was alone for two minutes tops,” Nolan wonders if Liv thinks she’s being reassuring. “She’d been shot, we called a bus right away.”

“Where?” Nolan asks tightly.

Liv blinks. Nick answers, “What?”

“Where, where in her body was she shot, how–” he struggles for a full breath and only comes out half successful. “How bad is it?”

Silence.

“Did you– did you not see her?” he wonders, biting. Nolan turns back and forth between his wife’s coworkers, losing his patience. “Were you there, was she– Jesus, Liv, how bad is it?”

“The bullet hit her chest,” Nolan loses all fiery, defensive passion right then and there. His own heart stops for a second, or at least that’s what it feels like when his chest is engulfed by a pressing ache that numbs him all over.

“They took her straight into surgery,” Nick continues when Nolan doesn’t say anything to that, unable to leave his partner to the wolves. “Liv rode with her in the ambulance but there wasn’t– it’s in their hands now. They’re taking care of her, pal, okay? She’s getting help.”

Where was the help when she was alone chasing after a fucking criminal, where the hell were you, huh he wants to say; wants to shout and curse and point and make a scene, but the words get stuck in his throat and in the next blink he finds himself seated in the waiting room, still surrounded by cops.

God, Nolan thinks, pressing his fingers to his tightly closed lids. When, in their fifteen years of knowing each other, could he have seen this coming? The bright-eyed, furiously righteous kid halfway through law school and the pretty girl who took one of his classes as an elective, only to completely destroy one of his classmates during a debate that made up half their grade.

Nolan had watched, mouth barely open in amazement as quiet, back-of-the-class (Y/N) didn’t flinch while delivering the final blow and bringing her team to victory. She snuck out before he could talk to her– do something stupid like congratulate her with stars in his eyes and an invitation for coffee on his tongue, but it didn’t matter.

It didn’t matter because the next weekend his roommate dragged him to a party and she was there, she was everywhere now that Nolan was unconsciously looking out for her. He ran into her in the hallways from one class to another, in the library, at parties and restaurants. It was like the world was screaming at him here! Here, look this way! Here it is, the rest of your life waiting for you! All you gotta do is look!

He’d been there for hours already, bored and annoyed out of his mind when he saw her across the room. After nursing the same red cup of warm beer and looking at his watch every couple of minutes, calculating the appropriate time to bail he saw her. She’d been leaning against a wall, her expression changing from concealed humor to disbelief to a laugh that had her hiding behind her hand, entertained by whoever she’d been speaking to.

Who it was, Nolan doesn’t remember. He doesn’t even think about the cliche of it all, how the world faded when their eyes locked across the room and (Y/N) gave him a smile, shy, shrugging and turning back to her conversation.

The funny pressure on his chest didn’t dissipate when he finally got a chance to exchange words with her. After the final exam, Nolan left the lecture hall and sat heavily on a bench by the door, catching his breath from the adrenaline of a month worth of study finally being over.

(Y/N) was there, too, smiling sheepishly up at him as she crouched against the wall, elbows on her knees. Her expression brims with shy recognition as she nods. “How’d you do?”

She was talking about the exam. Nolan’s embarrassed to this day by the time it took for him to catch up. His cheeks were flushed when he answered. “I’m, uh, not flushing out yet, I hope.”

“You don’t sound too sure.”

“Ask me after I’ve slept some 12 hours,” he sighed, messing nervously with his hair. “Things usually seem less dire by then.”

“Would some coffee do the trick?” and Nolan didn’t know it then, but (Y/N) was nervous, bravery swelling inside her chest as she asked him for the first day of the rest of their lives. In the end, she’d been the one to catch up to all the signs, all the serendipitous opportunities to finally end up where they were supposed to.

“Coffee can work,” Nolan, young and eager, said slowly. He couldn’t stop grinning, high with lack of sleep and the attention of a pretty girl. “You’re buying?”

“It’s only fair,” she shrugged, but there was something giddy about her expression that he still sees in her face to this day sometimes, bright and young. “You look like you’re about to drop dead.”

“And I still seem like worthy company?”

“I think we can pull a few good hours out of you yet,” a few hours, a few years; Nolan will be as sleepless as he was then on his wedding day out of pure excitement. They’ll have spent the night before the ceremony talking on the phone while they slept in separate rooms because their friends are sentimental little fucks like that and wouldn’t let him even kiss her goodbye before the big day.

He’d described the few hours apart as agony in his vows, had made the crowd laugh and (Y/N) cry with the sentiment, and he wishes he hadn’t now. He shouldn’t have said a damned thing, shouldn’t have manifested any sort of agony into their lives because now the illusion cuts off sharply, and then he’s back in the waiting room, a nurse calling (Y/N)’s name while he plays with his wedding ring and bites the inside of his cheek, staring blankly into the hallway.

Liv’s still there for some reason, as are some other officers and Amaro, while the others hunt down the man who landed their friend in the hospital. Munch had snapped at the Captain when he told him he couldn’t stay. Fin had to lead Amanda out of the hospital by the shoulders, too stricken to do it herself.

Liv and Amaro stand when they hear the nurse but it takes Nolan a few moments to gather himself back together enough to pay attention. She tells them, gently, “She’s out of surgery. She lost a lot of blood, but only some of the bullet’s fragments hit her heart. It was touch and go but the doctor was able to extract all of them.”

Nolan’s lungs open up and he gets the first full breath washing over his body since Liv called. He must make a sound, because the attention in the room shifts to him, suffocating and inquisitive. His vision blurs for a second, not because of tears but adrenaline, his heartbeat pumping in his ears.

“She’s extremely lucky,” she continues, and she’s looking right at Nolan when she says this, like it's supposed to help. Like that’s what luck means, almost-but-not-quite bleeding out while your heart is stitched up back together. “Most people with injuries like this don’t even make it past the ambulance.”

Nolan closes his eyes in anguish. He presses his closed fists against his forehead, elbows on his knees, back hunched. It’s almost like he’s trying to disappear into himself, away from the image of an ambulance opening its doors when arriving at the hospital only to be met with his flatlining wife, the sound echoing through his brain and overriding every other of his senses.

“There’s still a long way to go,” she continues, softer, realizing she’s hit a nerve. She turns to Liv and Nick, who are paying rapt attention even as Nick walks close to him to put a hand on Nolan’s shoulder, tight and steady. “She won’t wake up anytime soon. Her body needs rest and to recuperate from the most acute of her injuries. And the doctor would like to talk about next steps once she does.”

Next steps, Nolan thinks. Next steps, the only next steps he’s aware of are those that lead to his wife, the nurse walking him to her room. Olivia and Amaro trail behind him like a couple of guard dogs, standing alert for any sign of Nolan backing out or collapsing into his grief.

He just might. He feels queasy, nauseous with exhaustion and worry. But then he sees his wife, and, really, nothing else matters.

“Sweetheart,” he says, devastated, walking to her bed across the hospital room. “Oh, honey.”

Despite his eagerness to touch her, Nolan flails when (Y/N)’s finally within arms reach. She looks asleep for one blissful, hopeful moment, but then Nolan blinks and the light settles; the ashiness of her skin, the uncomfortable placing of her body, the blank expression devoid of dreams or nightmares or consciousness.

He’d usually be embarrassed to have a witness to such a personal display of affection, but not even Liv and Nick standing tall at the door can stop Nolan from eventually cupping (Y/N)’s face in his hands and kissing the apple of her cheek, lingering and gentle. He’s afraid of touching the rest of her, of jostling her too badly, but the steady noise of the heart rate monitor is a constant, loud reminder that (Y/N) won’t fall apart that easily.

Liv and Nick linger behind him, talking quietly amongst themselves in sharp whispers. It might or might not be an argument, and in Nolan’s mind it feels like both an eternity and a couple of seconds. He would kick them out if he could gather the energy to care about it. Eventually, Benson takes a few apprehensive steps into the room, seemingly having lost whatever fight she and her partner were having.

“We’re on our way out,” she murmurs. “There’s a lead on our guy, the Captain’s calling us all back to the precinct. But if there’s anything…”

She trails off. Nolan doesn’t answer, studies instead the bridge of (Y/N)’s nose and the shape of her eyebrows, tries to count her eyelashes and catalog the bruises on her face. Liv sighs defeatedly and reaches for him.

“Whatever you need,” Liv says firmly with a hand on his arm. Still, her steady presence is undermined by the way she keeps looking at (Y/N) like she’s already attending a funeral. Nolan suddenly can’t stand her, even if she rode the ambulance with (Y/N) to the hospital and kept her semi-conscious until the doctors took her off her hands. “We’re here for you, alright? All of us, Nolan. I’m serious.”

“Thanks,” he says, voice rough and cracked from swallowing down his panic and tears. He clears his throat but it does little to clear up his words. “Thank you, Liv. For everything.”

Her lips tighten in an unpleased line, but she nods and leaves the room with one last squeeze to his shoulder. He’s being ungrateful, the fact doesn’t escape him. Liv’s the one who found her, who held her hand in the ambulance before they drove her off to surgery. Nolan owes Benson his life.

The thought alone makes him so nauseous he has to clench his eyes shut, jaw tight, entire body trembling. God, what would he have done? What will he do, if something happens to (Y/N)? She isn’t out of the woods yet and if something goes wrong, if her body decides to cave in, if the wound gets infected, if there’s something they didn’t catch, if, if, if, if–

He lifts his head and catches his wife’s face, lax and motionless. Once again, the panic settles. He hasn’t gotten the chance to let it unfold the way it needs to.

“I finally got you on your own,” Nolan says, soft, careful not to disturb the semblance of peace in the room. (Y/N) doesn’t answer, no matter how badly Nolan wants her to. “You’re very popular. A tough one to find these days, you know.”

She wasn’t even supposed to be in today. Cragen had called mere hours after they’d gone to bed– at the same time for the first time in weeks– and Nolan had done his best to stay up after the phone rang and (Y/N) began quickly getting ready. She’d kneeled next to his side of the bed and Nolan had leaned in to kiss her without thought, an automatic notion he wishes he’d paid more attention to now.

I’ll call you when I can, she nudged her nose against his temple before pressing a kiss there. Nolan had already been half asleep at that point. Love you.

Love you back, Nolan mumbled, jutting his chin forward blindly. One more.

He continues as if (Y/N) had spoken. “You’ve got half of the NYPD out there waiting on you. The nurses are rioting, but I don’t think anyone’ll leave until you wake up.”

Nolan’s voice loses the battle, it breaks right at the end of his sentence and so does his composure, eyes burning with tears that for some goddamned reason just won’t fall.

“Please,” he begs to the sky, to God, to no one. “Please, please, please. Wake up.”

He presses his forehead to his wife’s limp hand maybe a little too harshly. Even if the skin is cold and her grip is nonexistent, the relief the touch brings Nolan has him sobbing.

An hour ago she was in surgery, out of reach and sight even if she was already getting help.

Three hours ago she was bleeding out in some alleyway in Queens, struggling for her radio to call for help. Seven hours ago she was kissing him goodbye, smiling against his mouth despite the dark nature of the sudden case because Nolan kept pulling her in for one more kiss.

One more, one more, one more, his pleads begs now. Wake up and give me one more, sweetheart, come on now.

“Please, honey,” he whispers, wet and nasal with emotion. “I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready yet, I didn’t– I don’t–”

The words don’t come. Nolan chokes, holds (Y/N)’s hand in his own, and breathes, breathes, and breathes.

—

Life moves on.

Nolan doesn’t cry. God knows why, but he can’t, his body on automatic while his mind solely focuses on (Y/N)’s condition. The nurses know him by name and he makes record time to the apartment and back to the hospital for showers and quick naps, some food for the little appetite he has.

He doesn’t even think to be offended when his boss places him on indefinite leave. Nolan can’t bring himself to care, he would’ve stacked up every sick day and vacation time available to stay at (Y/N)’s side as much as he could anyway.

The squad offers to stand guard almost daily, which Nolan appreciates, but his object permanence has gone to shit. Whenever he doesn’t have eyes on (Y/N) his panic rises again like a tidal wave, never quite crashing but dwindling whenever he sits next to her at the hospital, hand on her ankle or arm or somewhere he can easily look for her pulse, weak but steady.

It’s desperate, he knows, and more than a little pathetic, but Nolan feels like he’s allowed. Until (Y/N) wakes up to tell him he’s been worrying over nothing he will do as he pleases.

He talks to her. It’s another coping method that borders on delusion but no one has called him out of it yet. Not even Liv and Amaro, who have caught him more than once speaking quietly into the lull of the hospital room, holding his wife’s hand and drawing soothing motions with his thumb against her skin.

Mom drove into the steps again. The ones in the driveway? They were already loose from last time and now she has Dad driving through every Home Depot in North Carolina to find the right match.

Jill sends her best. Last time I saw her she was talking my ear off about her kid’s college fund. Apparently her husband lost half of it during Tuesday night with the boys, whatever that means.

Munch says he owes you 20 bucks from the Giants game from two weeks ago? Which is weird, because you haven’t watched a full game since, like, ‘02. Not like you’re missing anything, but still, your accuracy to outsmart Munch in his own line of work is pretty outstanding.

It helps. Or it helps enough; whenever he ventures over what they’ll do once she’s awake and at home together the illusion breaks and so does Nolan’s voice. He trails off, feeling foolish, the weight of his delusion pressing on his chest.

“It’s not silly,” Munch tells him during one of his visits, the book he’s been reading to (Y/N) resting on his lap. “It’s helpful and it doesn’t hurt anyone. You’re talking to your wife. If I’d done more of that back in my day then maybe I’d still be married.”

“To which one?” Nolan asks, his lips tingling with the want to almost smile.

Munch points at him as if saying yahtzee. “Exactly.”

He’s so sure it calms Nolan more than you’d expect. So far Munch is the only other person who talks about (Y/N) like she’s still alive and thus, the only one who doesn’t make inexplicable helpless rage wash over Nolan whenever they’re in the same room.

He’s the one with him when (Y/N) wakes. She does so in a panic, waking Nolan up from his uncomfortable sleep in the chair next to her bed. It’s a sudden flail after another as her heart rate monitor goes crazy and she doesn’t answer any call of her name, terrified and in pain.

It’s awful. Nolan doesn’t think he’ll ever forget how she almost tears at her stitches mid her panic while doctors and nurses gather around her and kick Nolan out with quick accuracy. There’s nothing he can do to help and he knows it, but he’s never supposed to be in a position in which he can’t help her.

He’s doomed to watch from a glass window, helpless, as his wife suffers without anyone to reach out to.

She woke up but had to be sedated, a nurse tells him after, it’s normal for patients to be unaware of their surroundings after waking up from long periods of unconsciousness. We still haven’t been able to determine neurological damage, so we’ll have to wait until it wears off.

“Kid, kid, hey,” Munch says, oddly alarmed after coming back from the cafeteria with two coffees and finding Nolan sitting outside (Y/N)’s room, crying into his knees. “What’s wrong, what happened? I was gone for fifteen minutes–”

Nolan tries to explain but the words get caught up in his throat, his grief taking over his sense of logic. She woke up, he meant to say. She woke up and she didn’t know where she was and I stood by like an idiot to watch her suffer.

After he’s talked down from a panic attack he says, voice a mere croak. “She woke up. They don’t know– but she woke up.”

Munch sighs, visibly relieved as he squats next to Nolan, squeezing his shoulder in support. “Good. That’s good, hey– Nolan. That’s good, okay? That’s one step closer to getting her back. This is good.”

He repeats those words to himself like a mantra. This is good, this is good, this is good, and doesn’t dare to close his eyes for something other than blinking until (Y/N)’s conscious. It’s hours later, deep into the night when she opens her eyes again, groggy and disoriented, blinking into the dark hospital room.

“Honey,” he says, quiet and so, so relieved. (Y/N) doesn’t appear to hear him and a flash of fear seizes his heart. He presses the button and calls for a nurse, edging closer to the bed. “(Y/N/N). Hey, honey, you with me?”

Arduously slowly, (Y/N) follows the sound of his voice. She blinks at him, gulping and saying, dry as the Sahara. “Nole.”

It’s the most glorious thing he’s ever heard. The smile that pulls at his mouth is unconscious, ripped from him almost against his will. He goes to touch her face, hands shaky and reverent. “Yeah. Yeah, sweetheart, it’s me.”

He offers her a drink and grips her hand all through the nurse’s examination, which she passes with flying colors. While she’s tinkering with her IV, (Y/N) asks him, “Bellevue?”

“Yeah,” he says grimly, thumb rubbing soothing motions against her skin, trying to infuse some warmth.

“Shot?” she wonders next.

Nolan hesitates. “You don’t remember?”

“Guessin’,” she slurs, tired, blinks getting longer each time she closes her eyes.

The nurse pipes up then with the same explanations she’s given Nolan the past few weeks: the bullet to her heart, the long-lasting surgery, and the even longer coma. (Y/N) nods in all the right places but her head rests against the pillow and her expression remains blank, like she’s not retaining any information.

“Anyone… else?” she asks.

“No,” Nolan responds, watching how tension falls off her frame when he confirms this fact. He wishes he felt the same, a selfish part of him wishes it had been someone else; Liv or Amaro or Fin here in this hospital bed instead of his wife. It’s true, even if the thought is followed by guilt. “No, everyone’s fine, honey. Working their asses off and worried out of their minds, but okay. It’s just you.”

(Y/N) hums and then promptly falls back asleep, breaths settling into an even rhythm. It’s then that his eyes water and his tears fall on the scratchy hospital sheets where (Y/N) lays. Oh, Nolan thinks, almost surprised by them. So this is what it takes.

Nolan bows his head and lets himself cry in silence. His breath keeps hitching, and the nauseating feeling of panic he’s been nursing for weeks finally explodes. He can’t feel his hands and feet, body numb all over.

The next time he looks up, hours later, is because (Y/N)’s reaching to touch his face, tender and shaky. He snaps to attention like a soldier called to his battalion, but there’s no trouble chasing after them, no bad thing happening for once. They’re okay, alone and safe in her hospital room while nurses and doctors and visitors keep passing by just outside the door.

“You haven’t slept,” (Y/N) croaks out as she drops her hand from where she’d been gently pressing at the bags under Nolan’s eyes, tired from that simple movement. Her chest rises and falls with breaths that are a little too labored, but her eyes are fixed on her husband, worried. “Nole.”

It almost makes him smile: (Y/N) worrying about other people while she lies with a hole in her heart on a hospital bed. Nolan would laugh if he were sure it wouldn’t immediately turn into crying again, but there’s nothing funny about this. Nothing.

“‘m alright,” he promises, weak and croaky and wet from previous cries. (Y/N) looks a little too out of it, but also like she doesn’t believe him for a moment. He amends: “I will be. And so will you. You’re gonna be okay, honey.”

happy new year!!! i wanted to start the year giving you a little something after being so absent the last couple of months and i've had this piece in my drafts for ages! it was originally waaay longer but i thought i'd end it on a happy note and maybe make a part two if anyone's interested?

anyway! i hope you guys enjoy what has become one of my favorite pairings to write and i hope you had a good time last night and a great 2024! thank you for reading!

105 notes · View notes

forestwaterfalls · 2 months

Text

the fact we never got to see rollins and amaro make out on screen once is actually offensive

#not one kiss!!!!! just a shot of him in her apartment coming out the shower and her saying the baby isn’t his!!!#i wanted to see them sneaking around!!!#nick amaro #amanda rollins #nick x amanda #rollins x amaro #law & order: svu #m rambles

3 notes · View notes

mrsamaroevans · 2 years

Text

HELP A WRITER

Hey tumblr.

I need help from people in the United States and England pleeeeease!!

Ok... Soooo HOW DOES COLLEGE/UNIVERSITY WORKS IN YOUR COUNTRIES?

I'm sooo confused.

Like, I'll explain how it works in mine:

We get out of high-school at 17 or 18 (it all depends on the high-school plan you choose), then we go to, the literal translation would be university to study whatever we want (vet med, medicine, laws, graphic design, architecture, marketing... Etc). Like if I had't drop out Vet School when I was 19, I would have been a fully graduated Vet at 23.

I'm confused with this because in SVU I've heard that people go to college (like the most famous in the show, Hudson), and then they say that on the fall they're going to like... Oxford... Or Yale... Or any other with big names to study laws or medicine or Idk.

So...

HOW DOES THAT WORK?

I also saw it in Pitch Perfect. They all are in college (that in spanish that is also translated like universidad-university) right? And then, there's this girl that says that she's been accepted at vet school...

How does that work? I'm so confused.

All of this happens like in USA, but I'm also curious to know how does it work in England and other countries if you like to share.

I've been doing google research but it doesn't help me to understand. I'm writing a book and it would be really nice if you help me. It also will help me at writing my fanfiction.

Thaaaanks!!

#writing #mayans mc #miguel galindo #mayans mc fic #miguel galindo fanfic #angel reyes one shot #angel reyes fanfiction #angel reyes x reader #law and order #mayans mc x reader #university #nick amaro imagine #nick amaro fanfic #marvel fanfiction #one chicago fandom #benedict bridgerton #bridgerton

28 notes · View notes

fatecantstopme · 7 months

Text

Better Together

Pairing: Rafael Barba x reader

Summary: Barba acts like he hates you because it's the only way he can keep his cool in your presence. Things come to a head and you call him out on it...

Warnings: cursing, Rafael is a bit of a dick at first. Use of nicknames (baby, cariño, querida, etc.). SMUT, oral (M and F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V)

A/N: Spanish translations in brackets/italics after each sentence.

cariño/querida: sweetheart/dear/darling/baby/etc.

por favor: please

qué: what

hermosa: beautiful/gorgeous

"Right...and what makes you qualified to make that determination?"

You glared at him. "Eight years of education and ten years of practice."

"Fine, but how long did you actually talk to him?" he countered.

"Four hours."

"So now you're an expert in his mental health?"

You groaned. "He belongs in a psychiatric facility, Barba. Not a prison."

"I disagree. He raped and murdered five women."

"I'm not defending his actions, but I'm telling you he's incapable of understanding the consequences of his actions."

"She's right, counselor," Olivia Benson cut in. "I got the same feeling she did when I first talked to him."

Rafael Barba let out an annoyed huff. "Fine. What do you propose?"

"Offer him a deal," she suggested. "Send him where he can get the help he needs."

Barba nodded, expression still slightly annoyed. "Fine." With that, he walked out of the precinct, presumably to go write up a deal.

As soon as he was out of ear shot, you turned to your friend and colleague. "He argues with me for ten minutes straight, but you tell him the same damn thing and he immediately agrees?"

Olivia shrugged. "You know how he is."

"Pompous, arrogant, rude, and downright insulting?"

She laughed. "All of the above, but he's also a pretty damn good ADA."

You sighed. "I would absolutely love to disagree with you, but you're not wrong. Part of me hates that he's so good at his job. And I hate his smug face and his attitude and those damn three piece suits he looks so goddamn good in," you finished your ramble with a groan.

"Maybe if you told him you thought he was hot, he'd be nicer to you," Olivia said with a wink.

"I hate you."

She laughed. "No you don't."

"Fine, I don't, but I will do no such thing. He quite clearly despises me."

"Does he?"

"Does who what?" Nick Amaro asked as he entered the squad room.

"Does Barba hate (Y/N)?" Olivia asked.

Nick chuckled. "Without a doubt."

"See?!" you said smugly.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "One of these days you're going to have to talk to him. Tell him off for being such an ass to you all the time."

"Now that I agree with," Nick cut in.

"If he pushes the right buttons, I will."

**********

Little did you know that two days later, Barba would push the exact right button.

Olivia, Nick, Amanda, Fin, and yourself were gathered in the squad room discussing your latest case. You had two dead girls in two days and 1PP was already breathing down your necks.

You were going over the profile with the team when Barba walked in. "I know it sounds crazy, guys, but I believe the perp is a girl...probably the same age as the victims."

"Why?" Fin asked.

As you started to explain your reasoning, to include the lack of sexual assault, the relationship between the two girls, and the anger clearly present in the attacks, Barba cut you off with a harsh laugh.

"You think a 10 year old girl is capable of inflicting that kind of trauma?" he interjected. "There's no way."

You took a deep breath in through your nose and exhaled from your mouth before responding. You needed those ten seconds to calm yourself so you didn't murder him. "Were you ever a 10 year old girl?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Obviously not."

"Are you a forensic psychologist?"

"Again, no."

"Have you been working violent sex crimes for 10 years?"

"No..."

"Then be quiet and listen," you finished harshly.

You'd never snapped at him quite so intensely before and he was taken aback. He was also very aware that he may have taken it a little too far this time. He'd made it a point to keep you at arm's length (or farther) for the past 6 months, and he was belatedly realizing he may have been too cruel.

You finished your profile, answering the questions posed by the rest of the squad, before everyone went about their assigned duties.

Barba announced he was going back to his office to update the DA and you were thankful to be rid of him.

"Maybe you were right, (Y/N)," Olivia said softly. "He either hates you or he hates shrinks."

"Likely both."

"I'm proud of you for clapping back," Amanda said warmly. "Someone's gotta put that guy in his place every once in a while."

You smiled mirthlessly. "Once this case is over, I may have more to say to him, but for now, let's focus on finding the person who killed those girls."

**********

Three days later and you had your suspect in custody. You'd been right in your assessment of the perp...it turned out to be a 10 year old girl who had been relentlessly teased and bullied by the two victims for an entire year. The girl finally snapped and killed them both in a blind rage.

After hearing all of the terrible things that had been done to her, you felt sorry for the girl. You understood why she'd killed those girls, even if you didn't condone it.

"Hey, (Y/N/N)," Fin called. "We're going out for drinks. My treat."

"I think I'll take a rain check guys...I've got something I need to do."

"Awww no fun," Amanda teased.

Olivia gave you a look, but you smiled at her reassuringly. She took it to mean you were okay, so she followed the others out.

You'd decided to pay a very special visit to a certain ADA...

You arrived at his office 20 minutes later, and you belatedly realized you probably should have checked to see if he was even there still. It was already after 6pm, but you hoped since he was a workaholic, he would be unaware of the late hour.

When you reached his office door, you found yourself taking a deep breath. You started to question yourself and whether this was a good idea, but then you thought about the way he'd been treating you and you got a burst of courage.

You knocked on his door and waited. You heard a slightly annoyed "Come in", so you opened the door and stepped into his office.

Barba looked up from the paperwork he was buried in, a look of surprise ghosting over his face. "Dr. (Y/L/N)...to what do I owe the pleasure?"

You shut the door behind you and took a step towards his desk. "Do you have a problem with me?"

"Excuse me?" he asked in surprise.

"Do you have a problem with me, specifically, or is it psychologists in general?"

"I don't have a problem with psychologists."

"So it's me, got it. Do you mind telling me what the hell I did to you?"

He had the grace to look sheepish. "You didn't do anything to me."

"Then why do you treat me like I'm some sort of imbecile?"

"I...I never intended to make you feel that way," he said honestly.

"Really? How did you intend to make me feel? You belittle me, insult my abilities and my intelligence, you're unnecessarily rude to me in front of my colleagues..." you trailed off.

He rose from his seat and came around the front of his desk. His expression was unreadable, but his shoulders had slumped slightly. If you didn't know better, you'd think he actually felt bad for the way he'd been treating you.

"You're right," he admitted. "I have treated you entirely unfairly."

It was your turn to look surprised. Out of all the things you'd expected him to say, an admission of guilt was certainly not one of them.

"I don't want you to think, for even a moment, that I don't think you're brilliant. You are the sharpest woman I have ever had the pleasure of meeting and you're downright phenomenal at your job."

You opened your mouth and closed it a few times before you could formulate a coherent response. "How in the hell was I supposed to know that?"

He blushed and cast his gaze to the floor. "I suppose there was no way for you to know, given the way I've treated you."

"Why, then?" you asked softly.

He sighed deeply and ran his hand over his face. "It's--complicated."

"Enlighten me, Barba. I've got time."

His green eyes raised back up to meet yours and you found yourself nearly breathless--and not for the first time. His eyes were beautiful, typically sparkling with whit and mischief; but in this moment, they shone with emotions so complex you couldn't begin to comprehend them.

"I never intended to be cruel to you, only distant. But I found that being aloof wasn't enough to keep you at bay--I needed something stronger. So...I started treating you as if I hated you. It was just easier, and perhaps safer."

"Safer?"

He nodded, but neglected to clarify. "Keeping you out of my life has become a necessity, Dr. (Y/L/N)."

His formality annoyed you, but you didn't comment on it. "Then why didn't you just tell me you didn't like me?"

He groaned and turned back to his desk to pour himself a glass of scotch. "Because it's not true, and I'm many things, but a liar isn't one of them."

"Okay, but you want nothing to do with me?"

"Exactly."

"You do understand how contradictory that sounds, correct?"

He took a long drink from his glass and leaned back against his desk. "It sounds moronic, yes, I am aware."

You debated your next words with care. You knew if you said what was on your mind, you might regret it, but you also knew if you didn't say it, you would regret it.

"When I met you, I was instantly intrigued by you," you began. "It was obvious you were highly intelligent, but you were also funny, charming, and impeccably well-dressed. It's a rare combination."

You crossed your arms and sighed. "At first, you were friendly and I quite liked you, but things between us turned icy in an instant. I didn't understand it then and I don't understand it now, but what I can tell you is it hurt me. It hurt me deeply, Barba, and it still does."

If he'd felt like an ass before, he felt 1,000 times worse now. "I never intended to hurt you," he said quietly. "You're a kind and loving soul...and you don't deserve to be treated the way I've been treating you."

"You're right," you whispered. "I don't."

He winced slightly and downed the rest of his scotch. "I am truly sorry, (Y/N). More than you'll ever know."

His use of your first name was not lost on you. You could count on one hand the number of times he'd said it and you'd reacted the same way each time. Your eyes fluttered closed for a moment, your breath caught, and your heart began to speed up.

Rafael had never noticed before...had never really paid attention to you the very few times he'd said your name, but he saw your reaction this time. For the first time since he'd met you, he began to wonder if you shared his feelings...

You quickly recovered yourself--praying he hadn't noticed. "I appreciate your apology." Your voice was slightly off pitch and you wanted to kick yourself for letting any emotion show.

"May I ask you something?" he said suddenly.

You nodded, not trusting your voice in the moment.

"You said what you thought of me when we first met--what do you think of me now?"

"Do you really want to know?"

He nodded.

You swallowed thickly. "Everything I said is true. You're a brilliant man and an even better lawyer...and you can be funny and charming, when you want to be. But that's not the Rafael Barba I get. I get the one reserved for the criminals and defense attorneys you dislike. The ones that make your skin crawl. You're pompous, arrogant, and cruel."

He closed his eyes tightly. Hearing you say what you really thought of him was much more painful than he'd anticipated.

"But I don't believe that's who you really are," you said so softly he almost didn't hear.

He looked back up at you in surprise.

"I think it's a facade you put up--a mask you wear to hide behind."

"What makes you think that?"

"Call it intuition, or perhaps training," you said with a shrug. "Either way, I am certain you really are the man I met in the beginning--not the man you've been the past several months."

"How could you have that much faith in me? After the way I've treated you..."

"Perhaps it's foolish...or maybe I just want it to be true."

He stared at you with a strange look on his face. It was as if he was trying to decide if you were playing him or being sincere. His expression slowly morphed as he realized you'd meant every word you'd said.

"May I be honest with you?" he asked.

"I want nothing less."

"Truthfully, I'm terrified of you. Absolutely, 100%, completely terrified."

Your jaw dropped slightly. Once again, he’d caught you off guard.

"You got under my skin the moment I met you and I haven't been able to get rid of you since. I've never felt like this--like I can't control my own actions or my emotions--and it's petrifying. I thought pushing you away would change how I felt, but it only intensified it. I think that's why I became crueler over time--I was angry at myself and angry with you for making me feel this way. It's not fair to you, I know, but it's the truth."

You were once again shocked to the core. You almost couldn't believe what you were hearing...if you weren't so good at reading people, you'd be convinced he was lying, but as it stood, you knew it was the raw, painful truth.

"You can't control everything, you know," you said quietly.

He laughed harshly. "God, how I wish I could."

"What are you so afraid of?"

He took a moment to answer, but once he did, the words poured out of him. "I'm afraid the way I feel about you will ruin both of our careers. I'm afraid that once you see the man behind the mask, you'll run and leave me broken. I'm afraid that we'll fall apart...that we won't stand the test of time. I'm afraid of falling so deeply in love with you that I lose myself completely. But most of all, I'm afraid that I've already screwed this up beyond repair."

For all your education and all the eloquent words you've learned in your lifetime, you found yourself stunned into complete and utter silence. No words came to mind, no coherent thoughts emerged. You stared at him and he stared at you, as the silence dragged on.

After what had to be an eternity, Rafael spoke again. "Please say something. Anything. Tell me you hate me. Tell me you never want to see my face again. Tell me you'd rather jump off a building than be with me--"

"Stop!" The intensity of your demand silenced him. "Just stop talking…I…I can't find the words I want to say, but I do know one thing: I'm not afraid."

Out of all the things you could have said, all the beautiful sentences you could have strung together, those three words were the perfect response. Fueled with sudden courage, Rafael crossed the space between the two of you in three long strides, coming to a stop a few inches from you.

With a shaking hand, he gently stroked your cheek. "May I?" he asked quietly.

Your pretty (y/e/c) eyes met his and you softly begged, "Please."

He leaned into you, lips pressing against yours with soft insistence. The kiss ignited something within you--a desire so deep and powerful it almost frightened you. You grabbed ahold of his suspenders and tugged his body closer to yours as you deepened the kiss.

Rafael moaned softly against your lips, tongue pressing forward, requesting access. You obliged, lips parting to allow him entry. His hands traveled down your soft curves until they landed on your hips. He used his gentle strength to pull you flush against him, his own body backed up against his desk to support him.

You could feel his need for you in his kiss, in his touch...and in his pants. His growing erection was pressed against you, so close to where you wanted him, yet so far away.

Rafael broke the kiss for a moment. "Carmen left for the day."

"Mhmm," you hummed in response.

"But I don't want our first time together to be on the couch in my office."

"How 'bout the desk?" you teased lightly.

He groaned. "Don't think I haven't imagined it, but I'd like to take you home...do this properly--in a bed."

You stared at him for a moment. "If we stay here, it can be casual, unassuming. If I go home with you...that changes everything."

"I don't want casual. I don't want a fling. I want you--and everything that comes along with that."

You studied him closely before responding. You noted the sincerity in his voice and his expression and decided to--for once--allow your heart to lead your decision. "Take me home, Rafael," you whispered.

He breathed deeply, as if trying to control himself. It appeared that you had the same effect on him as he did on you when you called him by his first name.

He didn't say a word--you weren't even sure he could have if he'd wanted to. He simply grabbed his jacket, took your hand, and practically dragged you to the elevator. Once outside, he hailed a cab and helped you into the backseat before sliding in beside you.

As the cab began to move, you rested your hand on Rafael's thigh. He glanced at you, but didn't say anything. You were feeling bold, so you slid your hand slowly up his thigh, inching closer to his evident arousal.

When your fingertips brushed against his clothed cock, he hissed slightly. He leaned over to whisper into your ear so the cab driver wouldn't hear. "Careful, querida. O puedo perder el control [Or I may lose control]."

You inhaled sharply--something about his tone mixed with the hushed Spanish words, sent a jolt of pure arousal straight to your core.

Your reaction didn't go unnoticed by Rafael. He smirked as he discovered one of your kinks. He tucked the knowledge away for later use.

You managed to behave yourself for the rest of the short ride to his apartment, but once inside the building, all bets were off.

His lips were on yours the moment the elevator doors slid closed, pressing your body firmly against the wall. Your fingers tangled in his hair, messing up the perfect locks.

As the elevator dinged and the doors began to open, you reluctantly pulled away from each other. You saw the desperation in his beautiful green eyes and you knew the same look reflected in yours.

He wasted no time guiding you to his apartment and the moment you were both inside, he had you spun around and pressed up against the door.

“Querida,” he whispered hungrily against your lips, fingertips dancing under your shirt.

You moaned softly as you tugged harshly on his suspenders, pushing them out of the way so you could remove his shirt.

Within moments, your clothes and his were strewn across the house as he carried you to his bedroom, nothing left between you but underwear.

Rafael tossed you gently onto the bed before climbing on top of you. He eyed you hungrily—sprawled out beneath him, desire evident on your face.

“You are perfect, hermosa.”

You blushed. “Rafa…”

He groaned. “Fuck. Don’t do that.”

Confusion clouded your expression. You didn’t think you’d done anything wrong…

He’d closed his eyes and his face gave away the internal struggle he was experiencing.

Realization suddenly crossed your features and you grinned. You gently raked your nails down his chest as you murmured the nickname again, “Rafa.”

His eyes shot open and he rutted his hips against yours, mouth pressing wet kisses to your heated skin. His teeth nipped at your neck and collarbone, leaving love bites in his wake.

He was taking his time with you. Wanting to explore every part of you, taste every inch of your skin, catalogue every detail in his mind.

You whimpered softly, not used to such attention, nor such deliberate slowness. “Rafael, please.”

He looked up at you with his trademark smirk. “You ever been with a Hispanic man before, Cariño?”

You blushed and shook your head.

His smirk widened. “We like to take our time, make sure our lady is properly loved and appreciated. This is about your enjoyment, (Y/N/N), not mine.”

“I want you to enjoy yourself too…”

He kissed you gently. “You keep making those pretty sounds for me, querida, and I promise you, I’ll enjoy myself.”

You found yourself unable to respond as he continued his slow descent towards your core. Each gentle caress of his lips against your skin seemed to set your nerve endings on fire--the need within you growing exponentially.

You whined prettily, hips shifting upwards, desperately seeking his lips where you needed them most. "Please," you begged.

You didn't know it yet, but Rafael would never deny you--not in the real world, nor the bedroom. The moment he heard your soft voice begging, he glanced up at your face. You already looked so far gone--your hair was a mess, your lips swollen, your cheeks flushed, and your breathing was ragged. He smiled to himself as he lowered his head, giving you no time to adjust as he dove into you with abandon.

You gasped as the pleasure threatened to overwhelm you. As skilled as the man between your legs was in the courtroom, he was even better suited with his mouth hungrily devouring you.

In the span of mere minutes, he'd turned you into a gasping, moaning mess--every one of your senses overwhelmed with feeling.

"Rafa--I--I'm close," you gasped.

He hummed against you, lips wrapping around your clit to increase his assault. His fingers dug into the flesh of your hips, holding you in place as he sped up his ministrations.

Your jaw dropped as a flurry of sounds--some of which were intended to be his name--slipped from your lips. Your orgasm sent wave after wave of intense pleasure through your body, but that pleasure soon turned to sensitivity.

"Rafa, too much--" you whispered as you tried to pull away from him.

He laid his arm across your lower belly, effectively holding you in place as his mouth continued to work you. His eyes flicked up to yours to check if you really did want him to stop, but your head was already thrown back, chest rising and falling rapidly as the familiar knot tightened in your stomach.

The moment your cries turned to moans and pleas to continue, Rafael stopped and lifted his head. "Did you want me to stop, querida?"

"No!" you cried loudly, fingers grasping his hair in an attempt to guide him back where you wanted him.

He smirked as he complied with your direction, lips and tongue once again sending you into a spiral of pleasure you'd never experienced before.

As you came down from your second high, Rafael finally slowed his assault and allowed you to pull his head up when it became too much.

He placed soft kisses against your heated skin, gently soothing you as the aftershocks shuddered through your body. His lips traced the curves of your face with gentle affection until your breathing had begun to normalize.

Rafael kissed you deeply, desire evident in the action. In response, your hand slowly descended down his chest and abdomen, until you reached his throbbing cock. You lightly ran your nails across the still clothed member, enticing a groan from the man above you.

You teased him for a few more seconds before sliding your hand beneath his boxer briefs and palming his cock in your warm hand. He groaned loudly--hips rutting against your hand instantly.

"I wanna taste you," you murmured against the shell of his ear.

"You don't have to..." he said softly.

There was something in his voice that caused you to pull away so you could see his face properly. He looked worried and perhaps a little apprehensive.

"But I want to," you reassured him.

"You do?"

You nodded. "It's something I enjoy very much, Rafa, so if you're okay with it, I would really like to suck your cock."

His eyes closed briefly and he moaned softly, forehead dropping against yours. "Por favor," he begged in a broken voice.

You grinned ear to ear. "Stand up."

"Qué?" he asked in confusion.

You nudged him gently and tilted your head towards the edge of the bed. "Stand up, handsome."

He did as you asked and watched in surprise as you lowered yourself to your knees on the floor in front of him. He felt like he needed to remind you again that you didn't need to do this for him, but when he saw the hunger in your eyes, he fell silent.

You slowly dragged his underwear down, freeing his cock from its constraints. You were a little surprised by his size--he was longer than average and quite thick--but surprise quickly turned to hunger.

You looked up at him, a playful smirk dancing on your lips, and all his worries faded away. It was obvious you wanted this...perhaps just as much as he did.

You wasted no time in wrapping your mouth around his cock, taking as much of him into your mouth as you could, eyes never leaving his face.

You gagged slightly as he hit the back of your throat, but you pushed past it, determined to provide him with as much pleasure as you could muster.

As you began to move, his fingers intertwined in your hair and his hips stuttered forwards occasionally. You knew what he needed, but it was clear he wasn't going to do it without some prodding.

You pulled off of him with a *pop* and waited until his heavily lidded eyes met yours. "Rafael, I want you to enjoy this."

"I am, cariño," he said in confusion.

"Not as much as you could be." You licked the tip of his cock for emphasis and his hips jumped slightly. "I want you to use my mouth for your own pleasure, Rafa. That's what it's there for."

He shook his head rapidly. He'd been expressly told not to do that by several women before you.

You rubbed his thighs reassuringly. "I want this, baby. Please," you begged. "Please fuck my mouth."

The moment the words were out of your mouth, you sucked his cock back into the warmth of your lips, hoping he would take you seriously. You pressed yourself forward, pushing past the gag reflex to take his entire member into your mouth.

Without hesitation, you began to guide his hips, urging him to give in and take what he wanted--what he needed.

You flicked your gaze up to meet his and nodded your head as best you could, hands still encouraging him to move. He very tentatively began to move his hips and you smiled, fingers digging into his thighs.

When you didn't pull away, he started to put a little more force into the movements. When you still didn't pull away, he sped up, fingers wrapping in your hair to keep you still.

You let him take control, eyes still trained on his face. He slowly began to thrust in earnest, fucking your mouth like it was his favorite place to be. You watched his head fall back, moans of intense pleasure leaving his lips.

You held onto him and focused on breathing as you let him use you. A few minutes passed before his hips began to stutter and you knew he was close.

You prepared to swallow everything he had to give you, but he surprised you by pulling away, your mouth coming off of him with a *pop*.

His breathing was ragged and his eyes were wild--pupils blocking out the brilliant green. "I need you," he said, voice raw and husky.

You understood his meaning and quickly crawled back onto the bed. He was on top of you almost immediately, lips latching onto your neck, teeth nipping at your flesh.

His cock rubbed against the outside of your pussy and you both groaned.

"Fuck," he mumbled. "Do I need a condom?"

"Pill," you gasped as you shook your head. "Wanna feel you fill me up, Rafa."

He let out a low growl and his eyes turned even more feral. He gave you no warning as he plunged his cock deep inside of you, stretching you in ways you'd never been stretched before.

"Rafael!" you cried out at the sensation.

Normally he would have forced himself to give you time to adjust, but his mind was too far gone. He set a brutal pace almost instantly and you were simply along for the ride.

There were so many new sensations that you were having a hard time staying focused. Everything just felt so incredible.

Your pussy throbbed around him, pulling him in even deeper. "Te sienetes muy bien, querida." [You feel so good, sweetheart.]

You moaned loudly, nails digging into his back as you arched against him.

"Te gusta cuando te hablo español, ¿no?" he growled into your ear. [You like it when I speak Spanish to you, don't you?"]

"Yes!" you gasped.

"Chica sucia," he chuckled darkly. [Dirty girl.]

"Rafa, please--I'm so close."

He groaned. "Quiero que vengas conmigo, cariño," he mumbled. [I want you to cum with me, sweetheart.] "Can you do that for me?" he asked in English.

You nodded your head rapidly.

"Esa es mi buena chica," he praised. [That's my good girl.]

You moaned lowly, preening at his praise. He smiled and picked up his pace, not wanting to stop until he felt you fall apart. "So close," he mumbled.

"Don't--stop!"

He knew you were close--could tell by the way your pussy fluttered around him--so he whispered, "Cum for me, baby."

You cried out as your orgasm hit you with more force than either of the two you'd had earlier. Rafael groaned your name as he spilled his seed within you, filling you up as your walls milked him dry.

You both began to come down from your highs, the intensity of your orgasms taking the wind out of both of you. Rafael pulled out and collapsed beside you, completely spent and satiated.

"That was pretty decent," you said between breaths.

He snapped his head in your direction and started to laugh when he saw the mischief in your eyes.

You grinned and joined in on his laughter, allowing him to wrap his arms around you and pull you closer to him.

"Very decent," he muttered against your hair.

You laughed again. "'Fucking incredible' would be a more accurate description."

"I couldn't agree more." He sighed softly. "I don't wanna move."

"Who says we have to?"

"We probably should...we do have work in the morning after all."

Your body tensed slightly and he felt it, realizing how his previous statement may have sounded. "I want you to stay, querida. I'm just saying we should probably get up and shower before we fall asleep."

You relaxed. "You may have to carry me."

He chuckled and dragged himself out of bed, pulling you along with him. He scooped you up despite your protests and carried you to the bathroom, placing you on the counter while he started the shower.

"I was kidding, Rafa!"

He smiled. "If my girl can walk immediately after sex, then I did something wrong. I'm always happy to carry you."

You smiled back at him, realizing he was completely serious. You watched him quietly, completely lost in thought.

"Where's your mind, querida?" he asked softly.

You shook your head, clearing your thoughts. "I'm happy...that's all."

Rafael kissed you gently. "Me too, hermosa. Now come on, let's get you cleaned up."

Once you were both clean and dry, he carried you back to his bed and laid you down gently before crawling into the bed beside you. He tugged you in closely against his chest and you sighed contentedly.

"Go to sleep, cariño. I'll be here in the morning when you wake up."

Somehow he seemed to know exactly what you needed to hear. Knowing he wasn't going anywhere and feeling his strong arms wrapped around you, allowed you to feel a calm peace you'd not felt in years.

Within minutes, you'd drifted off to sleep in his arms. Just before he fell asleep too, Rafael kissed the top of your head and whispered, "Te adoro con locura." [I adore you madly.]

#rafael barba x reader smut #rafael barba x reader #barba x reader #rafael barba smut #law and order svu #law and order svu smut

685 notes · View notes

railingsofsorrow · 2 days

Text

5 hours apart

[spencer reid x reader]

summary: “I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts.” “I don't want you to miss me. It's tearing me apart.” from this prompt list.

pairing: spencer reid x svu!detective!f!reader

w.c: 3.7K

warnings/content: long distance relationship; crying; sadness; discussions of a case related to kidnapping (brief); migraine; this o.s approaches healthy siblings dynamic and some childhood trauma, be aware; discussions about marriage; spencer does not beat the pipe cleaner allegations.

A/N: decided to do a crossover one shot between criminal minds and law and order: svu (my newest obsession)because I love both shows (and nick amaro has older brother vibes) and it fit pretty well. there's like a few Spanish terms that I used and please consider that I did Spanish in high school and had a few classes afterwards, forgive me if I made some misspellings.

navi

masterpost

cm masterlist

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

There are two missed calls on your phonescreen when you turn it on. The heavy load of paperwork you needed to finish plus the migraine that did not leave you alone forced you to turn your phone off during the daytime so you could concentrate on working. Amanda and Fin telling you to go home wasn't as effective as your boss ordering the exact same thing upon seeing your tired state. Thankfully, by the time he did that, you had already finished everything and you happily obliged.

The keychain clinking against the doorknob makes you drop your shoulders in relief. You aren't home but it's close enough. It's been a few months since you have stepped into your brother's place, but it's the same as you remember. Grey couch, the spotless kitchen island that you can see as soon as you walk in, the innumerous pictures of your brother and your niece scattered around the walls.

You throw your dark brown blazer on the loveseat across the room and sit on the couch unceremoniously, pressing play on the latest voice message.

“Hey... It's me. I called you before and it went straight to voicemail, I... I forgot to say something.” You snort, hair falling off of your ponytail as you let it loose down your shoulders. Never have you ever seen your boyfriend forget something. “I'm sorry I couldn't make it. I know I promised and I really wanted to go but the case, it was a serious one, they needed me.” The guilt in his voice breaks a part of you inside. “I-I'm sorry I let you down.” There's a beat, some voices in the background that you can't make out who it is because they're too far away. “I love you and I'll make it up to you, okay? Call me when you can, please.” And the message ends.

You only notice you start crying when a sob echoes through the room and the sound comes from you.

You were never mad at him. Deep down, you expected him to cancel on you because of a case, you knew you would if you were needed. Both if you are not the kind of people who let your people hanging, especially if the reason is work. And that's fine, when you started dating Spencer, that was the first thing you understood, as he did.

Being far away from him is what kills you. You manage to work long-distance. He visits you on his (rare) day-offs, you escape for a few days to Virginia. It works. It's how you do. But there are moments in which you just need him close and it's not like you can drive over to his apartment right away. 5 hours apart does that to a couple. It's not unbearable, but it's painful.

You miss him.

So you dial the number you know by heart, sniffling quietly on your bubble of loneliness in the empty apartment.

You don't know where he is, if he's home, if he's in a completely different timezone. You don't care.

It rings twice before his voice fills up the call. “Hi—Hey, angel.” He sounds frantic. You smile thinking he must have been waiting for your call.

“Hey, Spence,” you respond, folding your knees on the couch. “Are you home? I didn't text first to see if it was a good time to talk, sorry.”

“It's always a good time to talk to you.” He says without hesitantion. “I'm on the motel, packing.”

“Oh, so did the case end okay?”

You can feel the relief through his exhale. “Yes, we found the boy on time. He's finally back with his parents. Home.”

Your mouth twitches, “that's good.” And you make sure to add as you always do, “you saved a life today, I'm proud of you.”

His soft awkward chuckle causes a tearful grin out of you. You can practically see him blushing.

“Thank you. It was... It's a good feeling.”

“Are you happy?”

“Not really.”

You brows furrow slightly. “Why? Did something happen?”

“I miss you,” he says. “I am happy that we saved someone today, of course but... You know, the first person I wanted to tell it to was you. I just— I miss you. So much it hurts.”

You close your eyes as the tears slip one by one down your cheeks, you felt their salty taste. Your chest clenching as you stay silent for what feels like several minutes until Spencer's concerned tone breaks the silence.

“Angel?”

“Please don't miss me. It's tearing me apart.” Your request doesn't quite make sense but you don't have time to think it through before you say it. It just what comes out of your heart.

“Please, don't cry.”

You let out a tearful laugh, attempting to dry your tears foolishly.

“I'm always missing you, sweetheart. I'm sorry but that's inevitable.” He adds, sadly.

“It hurts so fucking much.”

Spencer clears his throat and you know he's either refraining from crying himself or trying to mask it.

“I know. I'm sorry.” He pauses. “I wish I was there.”

You shake your head even though he can't see it. “'s not your fault. It's your job, you can't help it.”

"I hate it that you're crying and I'm not there to comfort you."

"I'm fine," you whisper, sniffling. "Don't worry about me. Today was just... A shitty day, really."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

You hum, fiddling with the soft fabric of the light green hand-knit throw blanket your brother always left on his couch. "Migraine." It's what you say and all he needs to know to wince in the other side of the line.

"Did you take something for it?" Spencer is aware of your frequent migraines and how much they bother you.

"Yeah, it's okay now." You reply even though there's a little painful pang in the back of your back right now.

"Maybe you should try to sleep a little. Did you know that sleeping seven hours every night impacts on your focus, body weight and immune system? Actually, adults aged from sixteen to sixty years should all get at least seven hours sleep every night, but that's almost never happens because of people's usual hectic work schedules-" He sucks in a breathe upon noticing he's rambling non-stop. You laugh and suddenly the harsh grip on your heart diminishes a little. His voice appeasing the momentary heartache you're going through.

"Says you. Who never sleeps, anyway. And work on caffeine 24/7."

"Hey," his tone has a tinge of amusement but he pretends to be offended. "I sleep."

"You do when I'm there. Cause I force you."

"Oh, you're so cruel to me, angel."

Your lips widen into a smirk. "That I am."

The conversation carries on for a while, until you figure out which time it is where he is and immediately orders him to go to sleep because he has an early flight to catch in the morning. He's reluctant, but he eventually lets it go because you need to sleep too and you will talk in the next day again.

Before he hangs up, he asks, the first time he hesitates in the call. "Uh, does- does your brother hate me?"

Your brain takes a few seconds to grasp what he's implying, until you remember what was supposed to happen this weekend. Spencer would come over to your place in New York to meet your brother.

You bite your lip, straightening your legs out on the ouch. "Yeah, about that..."

"He does, doesn't he? I don't blame him, I did screw up-"

"Wait, baby, that's not it. I... I actually didn't tell him." A pause, you curse under your breath. Now he must thing you didn't want him to come. "Spence?"

"Did I pressure to do something you didn't want? I should have asked you if you wanted meet to meet him, right? I think I kind of invited myself over and-"

"Stop." You cut him off. "No, Spencer. You didn't pressure me into anything. I want you two to meet, of course I do. You're one of the most important people to me, but I really forgot. I'm not making up an excuse."

"Alright, yeah. Okay." He says and you hear a door closing and wood creaking. He must be sitting on the bed.

"I love you." You receive the mental image of the scrunch of his nose and the smile he can't help whenever you drop the L bomb out of nowhere. "And you know he doesn't have to approve anything, right? Nick has no say in who I date or not."

"But he's your brother, he's important to you and I would meet him someday anyway because- I, well." Your body shakes with laughter and the phone almost drops from your hand.

"What, are you proposing now, genius? Through the phone, really?"

"Don't make fun of me." Spencer warns playfully.

You take a few seconds to process that he doesn't deny it. You said it as a joke but he didn't even deny it that he thinks about marrying you. God, your chest could combust.

"You think about it?" You ask, shifting your position to bring your knees to your chest. "Us? Someday?"

"You mean getting married to you? Yes. I do. We haven't discussed it yet, but... Yes, I do think about it."

"Mhm."

"Has it ever... crossed your mind?" He's reluctant, shy to ask even. You find it cute as everything Spencer Reid does. Marriage is something that never really crossed your mind, to be honest. You think is nice when people get married and show their love to their loved ones, but your parents' relationship carved a fear deep within your chest and your entire perception of love had to be relearned through the years they separated. One thing that you learned is that no person and no relationship is the same. It's not because your father broke your trust and destroyed a part of your and your brother's childhood that your future partners will do the same. It is easier said than done, but you're coming around to the idea.

"Not before you." You admit quietly.

"Oh."

“Yeah.” You ponder out loud. “It scares me a bit, that I consider spending the rest of my life by your side. Doesn't it scare you?”

“It does,” he replies. “But the idea is nice to think about.”

You smile, letting out a soft breath. “Yeah, it is nice.”

A male voice calls out for him in his end and you know he has to go. You had already taken up much of his time, anyway.

“They want to go to a bar nearby to celebrate.” Spencer explains to you, not sounding too thrilled about the idea.

You snicker, “go have fun, genius. You deserve it. Try to enjoy it even if this is not your usual idea for fun. I love you.”

“I love you more.” Spencer says and laughs at your groan of protest on the other side.

“We're not going to be one of those couples who never hang up because you love me more or no, I love you more, Spencer.”

“I just like to mess with you.” He admits with an edge of amusement to his tone. And damn you miss the smirk you know he's making right now.

“Yeah, I know. Now go, have fun. And have a safe flight tomorrow, text me when you land?”

“Of course, angel. Try to sleep a bit, you need the rest.”

You smile. “Sure. Bye, Spence.”

“Bye, angel.”

An hour or two goes by since your phone call with your boyfriend and manage to cook some dinner and then throw yourself back on the couch while a random show is played on TV. You end up falling asleep and wake up upon hearing the jiggling keys against the door of your brother's apartment, rubbing your eyes in your disoriented sleepy state. Checking your phone, the screen says 11p.m.

Nick stops midway from his way to the couch, where he was probably about to throw himself at. From his tired eyes and hunched over stance, you are able to tell how exhausted he is. “Why are you always here?” Nick throws himself on the floor instead, his head falling against your knees. The tone he used would make you slap him right behind his ear, if you weren't still with your mind in that phone call and a million miles away from New York. “I thought you rented an apartment. Or is it that you just miss me?”

“I don't miss you.” You mumble, voice muffled by the soft fabric of the blanket covering half of your face. “I see you every day, idiot. How can I miss you.”

Nick raises an arm towards your calf and you immediately kick his hand away before it can get to your feet. He chuckles, fluttering his eyes open for the first time since he got home. He glances up at you, who's glaring at him. His smile falls.

“What's wrong?”

You shrug, pulling your knees up to your chest and turning your head towards the TV. You weren't paying attention since the show started, you had no idea what is going on. “I cooked dinner. Left you a plate on the microwave. Go eat, I bet you didn't have a proper meal. You never do.”

“That's not true—”

“Eating burritos isn't a proper meal, Nick.” You groan as he tries to take another look at your face. “Stop it. I'm fine.”

“Yeah, I don't buy it. What happened?” If there's one thing your brother is, that thing is anxious. Nick is a worrier. And he's completely paranoid about knowing what's going on to find a solution before the time runs out. Even if there is no time to run out. He gently tips your chin up, frowning. “Why have you been cryin’?”

You turn your face away from his reach, sitting up on the couch. You take a moment to form your answer and he's anxiously waiting for it, coffee-brown eyes inspecting your matching ones.

You decide to go simple, but it's also the truth. “'s not a good day, that's all.”

He blinks and then the concern opens some space for understanding in his expression. And just like that, he figures out what's been making you upset. You don't doubt that he really knows, since your brother and you always understand each other with a look.

“D'you wanna talk about it?” His usual sarcastic tone gives place to a softer one. The one he uses in moments where his little sister needs her older brother.

You shrug, letting out a sigh before resting your head against the couch, eyes studying the ceiling. “It's nothing, I just... I miss Virginia, that's all.”

Nick hums, nodding. “You mean you miss the skinny kid from the FBI.”

A laugh bubbles out of you unexpectedly, you playfully shove his shoulder as he offers you an unimpressed look.

“Stop being mean to him.”

“Me?” Nick pulls himself up to the sofa, groaning when his joints complain as he stands up. “'m not being mean to anybody.”

“Okay, grandpa.”

“Hey,” he throws a pillow at you, narrowing his eyes threateningly. “you don't get to be mean to me.” You roll your eyes. There he goes playing the older card that just makes him look exactly like an elderly. “Why don't you take a few days off? I can't remember the last time you did that.” Before you can respond to that, he frowns, turning to you as if he just had thought of something. “Or why doesn't the skinny kid come and visit you? It's not that hard.”

“He was gonna to that this weekend.” His raised eyebrow makes you sigh and shake your head. “He had a case last minute, so he couldn't.”

He pauses, munching on his cheek. You question his thoughtful expression.

“What? No jokes now?”

“It's serious then? You and him.”

You blink at him, puzzled by the question. It wasn't what you expected. “W—yes. Why would you ask that?” He had walked up to the kitchen to grab a bite of whatever you had made him and you followed right behind.

“Nothin’,” he says, turning the microwave on and stepping towards the fridge to grab something to drink. “I just never saw you in a serious relationship.”

You pause.

Okay, you had a few flings in your life, it's not like your love life is messy, it is actually pretty simple. You and the people you've previously have relationships (or situationships) enjoyed having fun. You weren't looking for anything serious and when you were... well, your job got in the way. Until Spencer Reid. He's the unexpected occurrence that showed up during a local case to investigate a series of murders in the city of New York and both of your teams worked together. If someone told you before that you would get attached so quickly to someone and consider driving five hours just because you missed them then you would have laughed in their face.

Your brother might actually have a point. He had never seen you in a serious commitment before, he has, however, had the opportunity to try and scare off some of your partners — the ones he accidentally met, at least.

“I don't need to disclosure every aspect of my love life to you, Nicholas.”

You crossed your arms as the corner of his lips lift in a knowing smile. “Stand down, tiger. I just made an observation, no need to get defensive.”

“I'm not.” You say, shifting on your feet, suddenly self-conscious with the whole conversation. It's difficult to talk about someone so important to you to another someone that's important to you. You've never share much about your personal life and inner struggles with anybody, and that has everything to do with the man you call “father” in the biological sense. But Spencer managed to push through these walls and he didn't demeaned you because of your trauma, neither did he treated you as if you were made out of glass, that you could shatter at any given second. He understood you and you understood him, which is why love has always been within your reach in your relationship. It was only a matter of time.

“He's important to you, isn't he?” The microwave beeped but none of you move.

“Yes.” You utter, playing with the ring on your index finger. “I know we don't— we don't talk about these stuff...”

“We can if you want to—”

“No, it's not— That's not it. I mean. You're my brother and we have a good communication but I never felt the need to formally introduce anyone to you because you're family, Nick. You're my only family,” you finally look at him. “If it ever got to the point, one day, where it was worth it for me to do that, then I would. I just thought that I wasn't made for love, you know?”

You see him rushing to disagree with you and probably say you can't think like this and that is not true, so you intervene before, smiling.

“But I know that that is not true, alright? Porque le quiero y sé que él también.” His eyes soften at your claim and you feel like crying again because you miss Spencer and you wish he's there with you. “So yeah, it is serious. And the reason he was going to come visit me was to meet you properly.”

“What?”

“Yes. That was my reaction too.” A fond smile takes over your mouth. “He insisted he wanted to meet you because he knows how important you are to me.”

“Oh.” He is officially caught off guard and it makes you chuckle. That is a rare image you're seeing in front of you. No one catches Nick Amaro off guard. One point to Spencer, I guess. “Well, now I just have to meet this chico who stole my sister's heart.” He's back to his playful persona, lifting a hand to ruffle your hair, and you flip him off. “Let's see if he is all that you claim he is.”

“He's a good guy, asshole.” He hums, munching on his food. “You'll see,” you say with a small grin while you turn back to the living room to lay back on the couch.

“We'll see.” He mumbles from the kitchen, shaking his head when a thought crosses his mind. He can't believe you fell in love, he still sees you as an annoying toddler who wouldn't let him be at school while he was trying to impress his friends because you were too shy to make your own and would cling to him like a lifeline. In all honesty, Nick has always enjoyed your company, it makes him feel grounded. He cares about your well-being and tries to protect you from every bad thing you have to face, but he knows he can't. Sometimes, you gotta face things on your own. And, sometimes, you don't need your older brother to shield you from pain. It's hard for him to accept that, especially after what you both endured through your lives.

You're all grown up now and he has to stand down his overprotective side because you can handle things, he knows you do. Though he'll be there, in the corner, having your back as always. Because that's what brothers do.

Hopefully, this Spencer Reid will pass the test.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[translation]

Porque le quiero y sé que él también. = because I love him and I know that he does too

chico = boy, kid

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

taglist: @lilyviolets ; @whore-for-spencer-reid ; @yeonalie @ninkieminjaj ;

#spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction

161 notes · View notes

megalony · 2 months

Text

You Are Home

This is a Nick Amaro imagine, requested by the lovely @klovesreading I hope this is what you wanted and that you all will like it.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread@musicistheway@avada-kedavra-bitch-187@luula@missdreamofendless@bradleybeachbabe@woderfulkawaii@amberpanda99@daggersquadphantom@marvel-and-chicago-fan@angryknightstatesmantrash@minjix@lyjen@kmc1989@itsmytimetoodream@noonenuts@hiireadstuff@ashie-babie@classyunknownlover@jayyeahthatsme@sp1ritssz@dumb-fawkin-bitch@oliverstarksbae@gimatida@heart-35@supernaturalstilinski@stefansalvatoresgf

Masterlist

Summary: While on shift getting ready for a court case, Nick's wife gets shot and he has to get her to the hospital before it's too late.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A tired smile flooded (Y/n)'s lips when she left the lift and made her way slowly down the corridor towards the squad room. She could feel her energy trying to perk back up and keep her going but all she wanted to do was crawl back into bed and go to sleep for a week.

She had barely left the station at all this past week. None of them had when they were preparing four out of six of their victims to testify at trial.

The tray of coffee's in her hand swayed from left to right but (Y/n) did well to keep it steady while her other hand curled around her bag that was on her shoulder. She trailed down the hall and turned right, feeling as if she had just walked into a different world when she entered the squad room.

All the noise burst through her ears and sent adrenaline coursing through her blood, livening her up immediately.

As she passed, (Y/n) placed a takeaway cup of coffee down on Finn's desk, then one on Amanda's desk opposite his. When Olivia came out of her office, (Y/n) handed her a cup which left two more balancing in the cardboard tray in her hand that was finally lighter.

"Thank you." Olivia gratefully took her cup before she carried on walking towards the far side of the squad room, a stack of papers in her arm.

The smile on (Y/n)'s face turned softer when her eyes landed on a familiar flop of raven black hair that had been raggled and formed into soft waves. She made a beeline for him, her eyes focused on the back of his head until she was stood directly behind his chair.

She let her bag slump down off her arm and land with a thud on his desk before she leaned forwards.

Her head tucked into the crook of Nick's neck and her right arm looped around his upper chest over his collar bone as she placed the last two remaining coffee cups down on the other side of his desk. Both arms circled around his neck and her lips smothered the side of Nick's neck, kissing just over his pulse point. Her chest pressed down into his shoulders and she hummed quietly when he reached his hand up to hold her wrist.

"Morning carino," Nick set down his pen and slouched back in his chair as he tilted his head to the left to look at his wife. He pressed a chaste kiss to the top of her head while he held her wrist and smoothed his thumb up and down the back of her hand.

Nick was on a double shift. He had been here since early in the evening and he was on shift all day until late on tonight. Whereas (Y/n) had gone home last night, briefly seeing Nick before he came on shift and now she was back for the day.

"Hi," Her voice tickled the side of Nick's neck and she worked her way up to peck his jaw until he tilted his head to capture her lips with his.

"Is Sophia at nursery?" He already knew the answer, but he thought he would ask anyway.

"Yeah, she's not impressed with you though." (Y/n) pecked his lips again and again before she finally stood up properly. Her hands moved to hold Nick's shoulders and she looked over the papers and files scattered around his desk. He had been going over the witness and victim's statements, making sure they had no loose ends ready for today.

The trial had started two days ago and their most reliable victim was going on the stand today. Depending on how far they got today, another one of their victims might take the stand if they had time.

This meant that their suspect was now getting nervous. He was on trial for rape and murder and he hadn't managed to intimidate the victims enough to make them recant or stand down from trial. As long as the squad got the victims through testifying and cross examination, they would be on their way to a certified guilty verdict.

"With me?" He murmured in confusion as he reached out to take his coffee.

Sophia was only three and just starting to go to nursery. She wasn't a fan of being away from home or being away from her parents. Instead of Nick's mother looking after her when her parents were at work, now she had strangers and ten other children around her all day.

She didn't like it. But (Y/n) had been more than surprised this morning when she took her daughter to nursery and didn't get any tantrums, only a few tears. Sophia was still reluctant to go in, but she didn't make as much of a fuss as she did with Nick the other day.

(Y/n) wondered if it was because she had her dad wrapped around her finger and knew if she made enough of a scene, Nick would cave and take her home.

"I want my daddy. That's all I got told this morning, I think she expected you to pick her up and take her back home again."

A quirked grin flooded Nick's lips as he leaned his head back into (Y/n)'s abdomen. It wasn't so surprising. If Sophia was in a tantrum, she wanted Nick. She would cry and make a fuss until Nick either caved in or sternly told her to stop. She wanted him this morning so she didn't have to stay in nursery and (Y/n) could see the sadness in her toddler's eyes when she realised Nick really was at work and wasn't coming to get her.

"Okay, are we all ready for today?"

(Y/n) closed her eyes and tightened her hands on Nick's shoulders, staying glued up against the back of his chair while he turned to the side to face Olivia. None of them were exactly ready or thrilled about going to the courthouse today, but it was necessary. Each of them were being called to the stand as witnesses.

"I guess," Amanda drawled as she poured three sachets of sugar from her desk drawer into her coffee cup. She needed to wake up if she was going to see this trial through.

Finn was the only one who wasn't going to the courthouse today. He was staying behind to finish up on his own paperwork and be here if they got any new cases come through.

"Okay. Amaro- both of you, go and collect Vanessa and me and Rollins will go get Abbie and escort them to the courthouse. Remember, Steven is vigilant, he won't stop trying to get to these girls."

It was the safest option for everyone if they went and picked up their witnesses and escorted them directly to court. That way, they couldn't get into accidents or back out or get lost. And their suspect on trial, Steven, wouldn't be able to get any of his henchmen to intimidate the girls or make any 'accidents' happen. They needed this trial to go smoothly without a hitch. Barba was counting on it.

"Copy." Nick downed half of his coffee to get his system going and liven himself up.

He felt (Y/n) let go of his shoulders and take a step back so he could stand up and grab his overcoat from the back of his chair.

He was surprised he wasn't being teamed up with Amanda, but then again, they weren't doing any official interviews. This didn't have to be played professionally.

Olivia was more relaxed and easy-going when it came to allowing (Y/n) and Nick to work together. They were married after all, and it might be seen as inappropriate to some. But they were always professional when they worked together. They paired well when they were doing perp interviews, they bounced off each other and got results and when they spoke to witnesses and victims, no one suspected they were married until they learned their names.

Picking up the witnesses today wasn't going to cause any problems so they were fine to be working together.

"Off we go, carino." Nick moved his hand to rest on (Y/n)'s lower back and he grabbed his keys from his desk and stuffed them into his pocket. He waited for (Y/n) to get her bag and her coffee before they followed Amanda and Olivia towards the doors.

(Y/n) felt all the energy dwindle down to her toes when she flopped into Nick's car. She shrank down in the seat and closed her eyes, draining her coffee cup before Nick even pulled out the car park.

"Can't you just take me home?" She reached her hand out and rested it on Nick's knee. Grinning to herself when she felt him tense beneath her touch and she heard the deep breath he sucked in.

He wanted to. There was nothing he wanted more than to take her home after the amount of overtime they had both put in these past two weeks to get prepped for trial. They had barely seen much of each other and had to make do with fleeting moments of passing while they juggled their workloads and making sure they were home for Sophia.

Nick couldn't wait for this trial to be over. As soon as the verdict came in, he would be having a week off and his hours would reduce significantly so he could finally see his wife at home. Instead of working together on prepping a witness or having lunch together before someone had to leave for work.

"Don't tempt me." He leaned his elbow against the window and glanced his eyes across to his wife before he looked back at the road.

"That's all I have to do to tempt you?"

She dared to trail her fingertips just a little higher over Nick's thigh, wanting to see what kind of reaction she would get and he didn't disappoint. His hand jerked down from the wheel to grab her wrist when she reached the top of his thigh and tried to move higher.

His leg twitched beneath her touch and he growled low as he placed her hand down on her own thigh.

"If I have to pull over, you can explain why we're late." He let go of her wrist and swatted his hand down on her inner thigh as a warning. Nick wouldn't be the one to explain to Olivia why they were late picking their witness up if he had to pull over to take care of some personal business.

Reaching round, (Y/n) lifted his hand to her lips and kissed the back of his hand before she let him hold the wheel again.

A smile stayed dancing across her lips and she tilted her head to the side to look over at him. If he wasn't her husband she would have been ashamed for staring. Her eyes raked up and down his frame, watching the way the collar of his overcoat tickled the side of his neck, the way his hands tightened around the steering wheel and how his arms strained against the black overcoat he wore.

They were both glad when they pulled up outside Vanessa's house. The sooner they got this shift over and done with, the better.

Nick glanced in the rear-view mirror and nodded to himself when he recognised Olivia's car behind him. They had followed them down here to make sure Vanessa was okay. Their next victim only lived round the next block so they could get her next and all make their way to court together.

When they got out the car, Nick let his eyes dance up and down his wife's frame and his lips quirked into a sideways smile while he motioned for (Y/n) to walk in front of him. He followed her up the path with his hands dug deep in his pockets and his eyes unable to look away from (Y/n)'s arse.

"Vanessa? It's detective Amaro." (Y/n) rapped her knuckles on the door and took a step back, letting her shoulder bump with Nick as they waited patiently on the doorstep.

(Y/n) didn't like doing this. After trying to pick up a witness once and finding them half dead in the bathtub, (Y/n) always got anxious escorting victims. She couldn't shake the feeling that she would find their victim dead on the floor or find them in some kind of hostage situation. The worries never ceased and the anxiety always multiplied.

She let out a sigh of relief when the door unlocked and Vanessa walked out. Her raven black hair was tied back in a ponytail and she wore a plain pink dress with a pale cardigan. Sweet and elegant. Barba told all the witnesses to dress smart for court. The last thing they wanted was the jury making assumptions and judgements based on how the victims were dressed.

"Are you ready?" A tender smile lit up Nick's face and he motioned towards the car as Vanessa locked the door and tried to calm her raging nerves that could be seen from a mile away.

"Am I being called first?"

"Yeah, and as soon as you're done, we can bring you back home. You don't have to hang around."

"Okay, off we go." Nick pulled his hands out from his pockets and moved an arm behind Vanessa as they all trailed back down the steps towards the path. He wanted today to pass quickly and be over and done with so he could go home and be with his girls.

The sound of tyres skidding on tarmac caught all their attention and their footsteps stopped to look around. It was a secluded neighbourhood, not somewhere near a main road or where cars should be racing past.

No one caught sight of the car before the gunshots started.

"Get down!"

Nick's hand moved to the back of Vanessa's shoulders and he pushed her down to the ground. His knees hit the pavement with a thud and it sent a shockwave through his system. He tried to keep his left arm around Vanessa, needing her to stay as low to the floor as possible so she didn't get hurt. While his other hand moved to find the gun strapped to his waist. He almost didn't pick up his holster this morning.

He heard the sound of car doors opening and slamming shut and figured Amanda and Olivia were getting out to try and aim for the shooter.

Nick couldn't see them. He couldn't see through the windows when the car was still screeching past, not stopping long enough for anyone to get a good shot and he couldn't shoot. There could be people passing by and Nick didn't want to shoot a civilian or aim blindly and hope for the best.

"Fuck!" He dropped his gun to the floor and dragged his fingers through his hair before he looked around.

Amanda was running down the street to try and catch a partial number plate or get a look at the shooter. Olivia was on the radio calling for backup, barely breathing as she leant against her car in a blind panic.

"Are you okay, are you hurt?" He looked down at Vanessa who slowly pushed up from the ground.

She was trembling all over, cocooning her arms to her chest while she fumbled to sit down instead of stay on her knees which were now bruised and aching. Tears drenched down her face as she gasped for breath, but she managed to nod. She hadn't been hurt, she was okay. The shots had missed her.

"Carino, you good?"

"Baby…" The way (Y/n)'s voice trembled made a horrible shiver tear straight down Nick's spine and shoot right to his feet.

He craned his neck to look over his right shoulder. (Y/n) had been two feet behind him, if that. She had been close enough that he could almost feel her hand brushing his and her breaths on the back of his neck. He dropped down. Didn't (Y/n) do the same? Didn't Nick being in front of her give her a little bit of shielding and protection?

Nick couldn't breathe.

All he could do was let his jaw drop down and take an unsteady breath when he looked over at his wife. Her left hand was pressed down harshly on the lower side of her chest but Nick could see the blood pooling between her fingers and staining her light blue blouse.

He could see her body start to shake which caused her gun to drop from her hand down to the floor by her feet.

When her lower lip started to wobble and tears pooled in her eyes, Nick's heart broke in his chest as he simultaneously moved to his feet. He stumbled over until he was stood in front of her and his hands clamped down on her hips to keep her steady.

"Carino, hey, shh let me see." His right arm curved as tightly as possible around (Y/n)'s waist and he looked down between them when (Y/n) gingerly pulled her trembling hand away from her chest.

She'd been shot in the lower right side of her chest.

A broken sound bubbled past (Y/n)'s lips and her knees caved in the moment she saw the blood.

(Y/n) had never been shot before. She'd been aimed at, held hostage, had a knife held to her throat and had been cut in the leg once. But she had never been shot before, not once during shift or out in public off duty.

The pain was unbearable. It burned like a wildfire in her chest and made each breath feel like she was breathing in smoke that clogged her lungs and stopped her body from working properly.

When Nick pressed her hand back down on the wound to apply pressure, (Y/n)'s knees caved in. Her head fell forward into his shoulder and her knees bashed into his lower legs sending Nick back a few steps. He curved both arms around her waist and held her tighter into his chest as he carefully lowered them both down to their knees on the floor.

Burning sobs foamed past (Y/n)'s lips and soaked into Nick's shoulder as she started to hyperventilate. She had been shot. The pain was overwhelming. Her chest was on fire. Her body was shaking like she was being electrocuted. Why had she been hurt?

"Fuck, fuck! Liv I need a bus!" Nick pressed his lips to the top of (Y/n)'s head before he tried to carefully move her around in his arms. He leaned to the side and tilted (Y/n) until her was was tucked into the crook of his neck and her shoulder was jammed into his chest. It allowed him to look down at her wound and try to think.

He needed an ambulance. He needed medical help. The blood was already soaked through the lower half of (Y/n)'s chest. She was going to bleed out before help got to them.

"Carino just stay with me, okay? I've got you. Talk to me, talk to me baby."

"Oh God… baby, it h-hurts… I d-don't-" (Y/n) broke off into a scream that rattled her chest and left her gasping and grunting for air. The more she tried to speak or even breathe, the more the pain intensified and made her lungs burn.

She felt Nick tilt his chest back to let her lean into him and she wanted to cry more when his hands left her sides when all she wanted was his comfort and protection.

His hands started to tremble as he moved them round to his trousers and hastily undid his belt. He wrenched the buckle free and tugged and pulled until the belt snapped free from his trouser loops.

When he looked back down at (Y/n), he slowly pulled her hand away from the wound so he could scrunch up the bottom of her blouse and press it tightly to the wound. It made (Y/n) cry, but Nick couldn't do anything else. He cringed at the guttural moan she made into his neck and tried to focus on wrapping his belt around her chest. He pinned it as tightly as he could until the belt was tight around her chest, holding the scrunched up blouse to the wound in a feeble attempt to stem the bleeding.

"She needs to get to hospital… get in the car. Get in the fucking car!" They couldn't wait any longer.

Nick couldn't sit here with his wife bleeding out in his arms. He couldn't have that or she would die before the paramedics even got here. They needed to take her to the hospital.

"Vanessa go wait with Amanda. Liv start the car." The authority in Nick's voice was alarming and it made (Y/n) quiver in his arms when she felt the way his chest rumbled as he started to shout. "Hold still carino, I've got you."

(Y/n) didn't want to keep her hands near her chest anymore, not when Nick's belt was strapped so tightly she could barely breathe. Her chest was pulsing with each thud of her heartbeat and her skin was vibrating. It took more effort than she realised to try and loop her trembling arms around her husband's neck and her frame trembled horribly against him.

She kept her face tucked into his neck while his arms looped beneath her knees and around her back.

Nick took a deep breath before he stood up, easing (Y/n) against his chest as she cried and gasped for breath which was getting harder and harder to do. Why did they have to go and shoot at them? Why did they have to shoot (Y/n)? Why didn't he get the bullet instead?

His lips pressed to the top of (Y/n)'s head and he hurried as fast as he could over to Olivia's car while Amanda backtracked round the corner, out of breath. She could take Vanessa to the courthouse or the hospital, wherever she decided was best. Amanda could take control and call Barba to let him know what happened. Nick needed to get his wife to the hospital and he needed Olivia to drive so he could stay in the back and calm (Y/n) down and look after her.

A simmering cry gurgled into his neck when he eased (Y/n) down in the backseat before he climbed in along with her. He didn't bother with seatbelts, they didn't need the restraint, and safety was already thrown out the window with his wife being shot.

(Y/n) tilted her head back onto Nick's shoulder but she could feel her arms starting to tremble and bash against her chest. It was as if invisible hands had hold of her arms and were violently shaking her back and forth, causing Nick to bash back against the seat.

"Here." Olivia took off her jacket and tossed it behind her before she shifted the car into gear and started driving.

Nick took the jacket and scrunched it up, pressing it down deeply into (Y/n)'s chest until she started to gasp and her head rammed into his shoulder to try and push back into him to get away from the pain.

"Shh, shh baby girl I'm here. Stay with me." His lips pressed to the top of (Y/n)'s head that was starting to burn up and become flushed. And his arms stayed wrapped around her waist with her back leant up against his chest so he could keep the pressure on her wound.

She had both arms trembling against her chest but (Y/n) gained enough control to move one hand down and curl her shaking fingers around Nick's wrist. She held him tight and tried to breathe through the pain that was spreading throughout her chest and burning round to her back.

Words continued to tumble past Nick's lips that were smothered in (Y/n)'s hair and he held her as close as he could until it felt like his own chest was going to cave in from her weight. He needed her close, he needed to stay coiled around her like a blanket to prove to himself that she was still alive and he still had a fighting chance of keeping his wife alive.

They both heard Olivia say they were minutes away from the hospital, but Nick's attention and his eyes darted down to (Y/n) when she started to writhe.

Her head tilted forward but her chest leaned back into Nick and started to jolt up and down in a strange manner. Confusion pooled in Nick's eyes but it morphed into horror when (Y/n) shakily moved his hand higher up her chest and her head tilted back to look up at him. Their gazes interlocked and Nick could see the fright hidden within (Y/n)'s eyes as she started to gasp.

Horrid, choking sounds gurgled past her lips and she wheezed like all the oxygen was being sucked out of the car and she was suffocating.

But when a dribble of blood started to trail down her lips, she cried as best she could in her suffocating state.

More blood welled up in her mouth until she was leaning forward, coughing and spluttering the dark, almost black, substance down her chin and onto her chest that was already soaked from her wound. She couldn't stop. The iron substance coated the back of her throat and made her wince but it was pooling and spluttering up into her mouth faster than she could cough it out.

"Hurry up- Liv she's drowning in blood!"

Nick grabbed (Y/n)'s chin and kept her head tilted forward so she didn't choke, but there was nothing he could do. She was bleeding into her lung and it was suffocating her. The more she bled, the worse she was going to be and Nick knew if the blood started pooling into her other lung, she was going to drown.

"Carino you just stay with me. I need you to stay awake, you hear me?" He pressed his chest into her back and pushed her forward until (Y/n) was almost doubled over. He needed the blood to come out her lung and if she creased over like this she would apply pressure to her wound.

His foot reached out and slammed into the back of the passenger seat when Olivia screeched to a stop outside the emergency room.

She opened the back door and stayed close as Nick shuffled out backwards and pulled (Y/n) along with him until he could scoop her back up in his arms.

He felt (Y/n)'s hand dig uncomfortably into his shoulder while her other hand pressed to her upper chest as she started to gag and croak. She was struggling to get any oxygen. She was drowning. She was going to pass out soon.

"We need help! She's been shot, get a doctor here now!"

When a nurse wheeled a stretcher over to them, Nick carefully laid (Y/n) down and took her hand instead. He held her hand against his chest but bile rose in the back of his throat when he looked down at his clothes. Blood was soaked into his starched white shirt. Blood was covering his hands, lathered over the cuffs of his sleeves and drenched into his overcoat.

"Sir, you need to-"

"No, no I'm her husband. Please!"

Nick continued to run alongside the stretcher the moment the nurse nodded. He could follow into the cubicle, but he would have to stop here when they took (Y/n) for surgery. He followed the stretcher down the corridor and into a cubicle where two more nurses and a doctor flooded into the room.

Nick took a second to shed his overcoat and rip off his tie before he took (Y/n)'s hand again when she flapped her arm out for him, desperate for his touch.

"O2 levels dropping, we need suction."

Reaching forward, Nick grabbed both (Y/n)'s wrists and held them against his chest when she started to struggle. He couldn't have her lashing out in fear and pain, she had to stay still so they could help her.

"It's okay baby, it's okay." His lips smothered the back of her hand and he ran his bloodied fingers up and down her arm to try and keep her still and give some sort of comfort.

He could feel his stomach churning when one of the nurses opened (Y/n)'s mouth and carefully placed a clear tube down her throat. As soon as she turned the machine on, blood spluttered past (Y/n)'s lips and drained through the tube like suctioning water out of a lake.

It helped for a few moments, but Nick knew her lung was just going to full with more and more blood. A vital vein or artery must have been caught for her t be having this much internal bleeding.

She needed surgery. Fast.

***

Tears drenched Nick's face but he did his best to wipe them away and try to take deep breaths. His eyes remained focused on his wife and he could feel his lips quirking, desperate to form a smile when she started to move.

His hands rubbed across his face, pulled at his tired eyes and cleaned away the dried and the fresh tears to try and liven himself up.

He hadn't slept.

It had been over nine hours and he hadn't slept, moved, had a drink or found the will to get something to eat. All he managed to do was change out of his bloodied suit and into a pair of joggers and a hoodie that his mother brought down for him. He couldn't sit around in clothes that were drenched in his wife's blood.

Moving around, Nick got up from the uncomfortable blue chair and moved over to sit down on the edge of the bed. He rolled the grey sleeves of the hoodie up to his elbows and moved down to take (Y/n)'s hand in his. He was mindful of the needle taped into her vein and he smoothed his thumb over her knuckles.

"Carino… are you with me?" He stretched his free hand out and carefully brushed his thumb across her lower lip and down to her chin.

He had been waiting for her to wake up over the last hour, but it looked like the anaesthetic was finally wearing off now.

It took a while for her eyes to flutter open and it clearly took effort for her to tilt her head into his hand to lean into the touch. A small croak passed her chapped lips and her throat burned with making any sort of noise. But when her eyes finally focused in on him, Nick could feel more tears flushing down his face.

His lips curved into a breathless grin and he looked down at her hand for a moment to compose himself before he looked back up at her. His thumb moved to swipe across her cheek.

"How do you feel?"

All (Y/n) could do was grumble and squint, rolling her lips together as she couldn't find the ability to speak. She could still taste the blood on her tongue and the sensation of it burning up along her throat made her want to be sick.

It felt like her head had been disconnected from the rest of her body and her chest no longer burned, but it ached. A dull, horrid sensation rumbled through her body in waves and her head felt full of air from the pain relief they had launched her on.

(Y/n) managed to flop her other hand near her chest but Nick grabbed her hand before she had the chance to touch her chest. He knew what it looked like beneath the gown she wore. He knew she had a tight roll of bandage around her chest. He knew there was a row of stitches between her ribs where they cut into her chest to repair the burst artery and remove the bullet. And he knew it was going to hurt for weeks yet.

"Don't touch it carino, you've had major surgery… they took out the bullet and had to fix an artery in your lung, it's gonna hurt for a while. But you're gonna be fine now, and in a few days, me and Sophia can take you home and look after you."

Tears welled up in (Y/n)'s eyes and she curled her fingers around Nick's hand, pulling with the little effort she had until he got the hint and leaned forward.

He buried his face into her neck and leaned his chest down on the edge of the mattress beside her. His lips attached to her skin and he pressed small, open-mouthed kisses up and down her neck as she leaned her cheek onto his head.

"Y…you are home." Her voice came out tepid and croaky and it burned both her throat and her lungs to speak. But she knew Nick heard her when he let go of her hand to curve his arm around her lower waist and pin himself into her side.

Anywhere he was, that was (Y/n)'s home.

#nick amaro x reader #nick amaro imagine #nick x reader #nick amaro #imagine #law and order svu #law and order

141 notes · View notes

urrockstar-xe · 3 months

Text

❤the xe-verse❤

here to help navigate ur journey thru the xe-verse!

❥ a little about me

requests are open!! please read the link above before sending asks

one-shots and imagines banners by @cafekitsune

❥ fem!reader - ★

❥ gn!reader - ☆

❥ platonic!reader - ✧

❥ smutty - ♥︎

fics under the cut :D

❥ imagines (definitions are wacky so in this case it's anything under 600 words)

tears, panic, noise. - chad meeks-martin ✧ ★

pretty - chad meeks-martin ★

study buddy - chad meeks-martin ☆

❥ headcanons

jj maybank w a girly gf

steven grant w a witchy gf

❥ oneshots

potions test - sirius black ★

alone time - peter pettigrew ★

delicate lover - steve harrington ★

nail polish - steve harrington ★

six months - jj maybank ★

stargazing - jj maybank ★

meant for each other - jj maybank ★

bad friend - jj maybank ★

baby blanket - jj maybank ★

talk fast - jj maybank ★

got your back - jj maybank ★

comfort - jj maybank ★

never enough - jj maybank ★

precious - jj maybank ★

happy birthday - jj maybank ★

if u leave me - jj maybank ★

you are everything- jj maybank ★

melodic love - chad meeks-martin ★

liquid courage - chad meeks-martin ★

movie nights n pretty girls - chad meeks-martin ★

sneaking out - tara carpenter ★

i'll be right there, sweetheart - tasm!peter parker ★

math test - tasm!peter parker ★

detective sweetheart - nick amaro ★

❥ series

🕷 starstruck - tasm!peter parker ★

winter formal - starstruck pt 2

❥ Holiday specials

❥ valentine's day countdown

forgotten valentines - peter parker ☆

steven's first v-day - steven grant ☆

3 teen boys vs 1 pretty girl - jj maybank ★

fuck valentine's day - elliot from euphoria ☆

valentine's day with dick grayson - a headcanon ☆

❥ xemas

decorating the tree - frank castle ☆

wrapping presents - steve harrington ☆

family scrapbooks - steve harrington ☆✧

snow day - marauders ☆

looking at lights - marauders ☆

mistletoe mishaps - jason todd ★

147 notes · View notes

pascalispretty · 11 months

Text

Take The Edge Off

Nick Amaro x F!Reader

Rating: Explicit

Wordcount: 3464

Warnings: dirty talk, discussion of sexts/sexting, swearing, car sex/sex in a semi-public place, unsafe sex, biting.

Summary: You and Nick have been trying to find the time to hook up for days. Eventually, you resort to desperate measures to take the edge off. Written for the 'I can never seem to get enough of you' square of @storiesofsvu's bingo. This one was entirely @misscharlielulu's fault. (ao3)

The first photo felt a little silly. You had gotten all dressed up and ready for Nick to come over after work - which had really involved undressing, save for some thigh-highs - only for him to cancel on you. Major case, couldn’t get away from the precinct, short staffed, the usual interruptions. In your frustration, you had wanted some sort of payback.

Which had led to you propping your feet up on the headboard so you could take an artful shot of your legs, clad in your stockings. You know all too well how much Nick likes them, how distracting he finds it when you wear them around him. So you sent the photo off without much thought and went and had a cold shower.

You had come back to a flurry of text messages on your phone.

N: You can’t just send me stuff like that

N: I’m at work.

N: Once I get done here, I’ll come over

N: You’re in so much trouble

Smirking to yourself, you had sent a quick reply.

I hope so.

Your hopes had been dashed again when your phone had rung less than an hour later - instead of Nick, it had been your editor. Some socialite causing havoc uptown, he needed something for the Ledger’s website. The stockings had come off, you had taken the train uptown, and Nick had gotten an apologetic text trying to reschedule for the next night.

It had been the pattern of the last few days. You had gotten bolder in sending Nick photos - never with your face visible - and downright filthy texts, and he had responded with plenty of dirty messages of his own. Neither of you had been able to find the time to get together all week, and judging from the texts, he was feeling the frustration as keenly as you were.

Tonight, blessedly, your schedules aligned. Nick was on a late, so you spent more time than strictly necessary getting ready; picking out nice lingerie, making sure your aesthetician hadn’t missed anything when you went in for your wax last weekend, shaving and lotioning your legs. It’s going suspiciously well, and you’re beginning to wonder if your luck has finally turned when you hear a key in the door.

Luckily you’d dressed, despite an agreement that you’d have the place to yourself for the evening. Your roommate barges into the apartment, looking as though she’s run all the way up from the subway station, her boyfriend in tow.

“Sorry, sweetheart. I know I said I’d stay out, but Ned got the train up to see me, isn’t he so sweet?” Hannah manages, barely pausing as she passes you in the lounge. “Doesn’t your friend have his own place you can go to?” You want to argue back, but her bedroom door slams before you can get a chance.

Not that you have much room to argue with her, since her parents pay half the rent on the apartment. Instead, you return to your bedroom to find your headphones and turn your music on as high as it’ll go before any noises start up from Hannah’s room.

Yes, Nick had his own place, but the whole point of him coming to you was because you lived closer. Less time to wait, after days of dancing around one another. In good traffic, it was barely a ten-minute drive from the precinct to your apartment. From your place to his would take over half an hour, even without accounting for traffic. Frustrated, you flop back onto the couch.

You could text Nick and tell him about the change in plans. The last thing you want to do is reschedule. Whatever you have with Nick might be casual, but it’s still been far too long since you last had sex with him. Before you can do anything, your phone vibrates against your stomach.

N: I’m downstairs, can you buzz me up?

You must have missed the sound of the intercom thanks to your headphones. Instead of buzzing him into the building, you grab your bag and head downstairs, only taking your headphones off once you’re safely out of earshot of Hannah’s bedroom.

Nick is standing right outside when you open the door of your apartment building. If he’s surprised that you came downstairs, he doesn’t show it. Instead, he crowds you back into the lobby and kisses you. Nick’s arms wrap around your waist, holding you tight to him as he kisses you with an intensity that takes your breath away. His full lips are soft against yours. When his tongue dips into your mouth, your knees nearly buckle. It’s been too long.

“We can’t stay here,” you blurt out as soon as he breaks the kiss. You curl your fingers around the lapel of his blazer, trying to keep him close even as you tell him he has to leave. He frowns down at you.

“I thought your roommate-”

“Her boyfriend surprised her. Can we go to yours?” Given that he’d been willing to spend the night with you, you feel safe in assuming that neither of his children are around. And despite the vague, ill-defined boundaries the two of you have tried to establish, you’ve spent entire weekends at Nick’s place before. Nick sighs deeply, bumping his forehead against yours.

“There was an accident on FDR Drive, the traffic’ll be terrible.” He groans, arms still holding you close. You know he must be feeling as frustrated and needy as you do.

“If it gets really bad, we could always just fuck in the car,” you say teasingly. “Take the edge off.” At least that makes him chuckle, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he smiles. Keeping one arm around your waist, he leads you back through the front door.

“You’re a menace, kid.” Nick squeezes your waist as the two of you walk towards his car. “You cannot send me photos like that when I’m on a stakeout with Benson.”

“Photos like what?” You ask, widening your eyes in feigned innocence as you open the car door. “You mean like the one where my tits were practically falling out of my bra and-”

“Yes, like that. I work in sex crimes, it’s a bad look if I get turned on at work.” He slides into the driver’s seat, and you don’t miss the lingering look he gives your legs as he throws his blazer into the backseat. His shirtsleeves are rolled up, and you can’t help admiring his forearms.

“I don’t recall you complaining.” You cross your legs, letting the lace of your thigh-highs show. “In fact, shall we review the evidence?” You retrieve your phone from your bag, opening your messages from Nick.

“You’re not funny,” Nick starts, but he’s doing a poor job of attempting to sound grumpy. You make yourself comfortable in the passenger seat as he starts to drive, scrolling back through your messages.

“I’m not trying to be funny, Detective, I’m making my case. You said that I can’t send you photos like that when you’re at work, but here you are straight after the fabulous photo of my tits telling me ‘they’d look even better with my come on them’.” You watch gleefully as Nick’s hands tighten on the steering wheel; there’s little you enjoy more than attempting to rile Nick up like this. He’s doing a very good job of pretending to be unaffected, but you can see the faint smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

“Guilty.”

“And at one-thirteen AM the same night, you sent me a very vivid description of what you were thinking about while you jerked off. Do you need me to refresh your memory, Detective?” You can’t even complain about the lack of photos on his part; the texts he had sent back had been plenty descriptive.

“I was there, I remember.” Nick’s smirking now, that roguish grin that you love. The two of you seem to have hit the traffic that he warned about, but you keep going.

“I’ll remind you anyway. That long message, telling me that you got yourself off thinking about the time you fingerfucked me under the table at that dive bar downtown. How badly you wished you’d taken me into the bathroom and fucked me in one of the stalls. It was quite the text to wake up to.” You prop your feet up on the dashboard, your skirt riding even higher around your thighs. The motion draws Nick’s eyes, and you can practically feel his gaze dragging over your skin.

“Well, I hope it at least gave you something nice to think about while you were in your staff meeting.”

“Oh, it did. One of the few upsides of being a woman; you can be as turned on as you like in public, nobody’ll ever know.” The traffic is inching forwards, but you feel like you could crawl out of your skin with how aroused you feel. You glance over at Nick, pleased to see he appears to be suffering as much as you are.

The two of you have spent the better part of the week engaged in long-distance foreplay; being alone but unable to do anything has to be driving him as insane as it is you.

“You think you’re that good at hiding it?” Nick asks, taking advantage of a red light to turn his head and look you in the eye. “If anyone would have looked twice at you in that bar, they would have known.”

“That’s different, you were edging me. Everybody can see if a guy gets hard in public; if a girl gets wet, nobody sees.” You tilt your head, examining the cars around you. Before you can change your mind, you lift your hips up just enough to be able to hook your fingers into the waistband of your underwear and slide them off.

“What are you doing?” Nick asks, barely blinking as you toss the damp black lace over your shoulder into the backseat. You tug your skirt back down just enough to cover yourself and give a nonchalant shrug.

“Thinking of ways to save time when we finally get out of this car-” you start, a horn from the car behind you cutting you off. The traffic has inched forward since Nick took his eyes off the road, and he turns his attention back to it now.

“I told you the traffic would be terrible.”

“What would you have preferred, we stay at my place and try fucking to the sounds of Hannah and her boyfriend going at it in the next room? Or should we have gone to the precinct and done it there?” You tease, yelping when he playfully slaps your thigh. He keeps his hand on your thigh, his thumb stroking over the black lace of your stocking.

“I hate that you have a roommate.”

“Sorry, Detective, we don’t all make six-figure salaries. With what the paper pays me, you’re lucky it’s just the one roommate and not five. And I definitely wouldn’t live close enough to the precinct for you to come over on your lunch break when you need to take the edge off.” You cover his hand on your thigh with your own, squeezing gently.

His skin feels burning hot against yours, even with the barrier of your stocking. You tip your head back against the seat, any clever comment dying on your tongue. His fingers are so close to where you want them, just inches away from the apex of your thighs.

You let your eyes flutter closed, your imagination running wild. In the dark corner of a dive bar with a table obscuring his hands had been one thing; you’re not sure Nick is actually bold enough to slide his hand higher, where anybody could look through the window and see.

Still, the idea alone has your breath catching in your chest, your legs spreading subtly wider. The tension in the car is so thick, you crack your window just to let some fresh air in.

“You get bored of reading out sexts?” Nick asks, and you don’t even have to open your eyes to know that he’s smirking at you.

“I made my point,” you manage, hyperfocused on Nick’s thumb stroking your thigh. It’s such a light, gentle touch, but you’re so pent up that even that is driving you to distraction. In fact, it distracts you so well that it takes you a while to notice that the car is moving faster than it should be if you were still stuck in traffic.

“Did we get past the traffic already?” You ask, opening your eyes finally. The road certainly looks clearer, but you’re not entirely sure which borough you’re even in right now. Nick’s hand is still on your thigh, but he’s focusing on driving.

“No, I ah- I’m taking one of your suggestions.” It’s all the explanation he offers. You frown, trying to remember what you’ve said.

“I wasn’t serious about fucking in the precinct. Not that it wouldn’t be kinda hot, but Benson seems like she could be really scary-”

“We’re not going to the precinct,” he says evenly. Your frown deepens and you glance around, searching for some clue as to where Nick is driving you. The streets are growing quieter, and you swallow thickly when you realise he’s driving somewhere that the two of you won’t be seen. Nick seems to know where he’s going; you trust him.

It’s not long before Nick pulls into a nondescript parking garage. Your heart is beating so fast that your chest aches. Neither of you speaks as Nick finds a space tucked away behind a pillar and parks, as though some sort of spell has settled over you both and a single word will shatter it.

You can’t actually be about to do this. One of you will break. One of you has to.

Your seatbelt clicks softly as you release it, but the sound echoes through the space like a starting pistol. Nick undoes his own, his hands finding you before you can open your mouth to ask about positioning and dragging you across the car, onto his lap. You situate yourself as best as you can in the confined space, banging your head on the roof of the car as you try and straddle him.

Nick’s hand slides into your hair, cupping the back of your head and pulling you in for a kiss. If the kiss in the lobby was intense, then you don’t have a word to describe this one. You can’t breathe, but it doesn’t matter. You could die a happy woman, being kissed like this; Nick’s tongue licking against yours, a low sound rumbling through his chest as he pulls you closer.

Your fingers find the buckle of Nick’s belt, your back curving awkwardly to give yourself the space to move. There’ll be no finesse here, but the two of you are long past caring. It doesn’t take you long to undo his belt and pants, and you feel his breath hitch when you slide your hand under his waistband.

He’s already rock-hard to your touch, and Nick breaks the kiss to moan into your neck as you take him out. His breath is hot against your skin, his hands sliding down to grasp your hips. With your free hand, you clutch his shoulder as you align the tip of his cock with your entrance and slowly sink down onto him.

You feel every inch of him stretching your soft walls. The consequences of no physical foreplay, though you’re at least wet enough that it doesn’t hurt. You bite your lip, trapping a moan in your mouth. Nick’s fingers flex on your hips. It’s rare that he lets you ride him and you can feel him itching to find a degree of control in the situation.

You tip forward when he bottoms out inside you, burying your face against his shoulder to stifle your moan. One of your hands clutches at his bicep; the other grabs a fistful of his shirt over his free shoulder. A full-body shudder runs through Nick, and he gasps against your neck.

“Oh fuck, baby-” he chokes out, his grip on your hips so tight you wonder if it might bruise. You’re not even moving, but that familiar heat is already radiating out through your body, lighting up your nerve endings. You keep your face pressed against Nick’s shoulder as you give a testing pull of your hips upward.

He hisses into your neck through gritted teeth, every muscle he has held taut as he tries to cling onto a degree of restraint.

“There’s not enough room in here, is there?” You ask in a whisper, your voice hitching as you sink back down onto him. “You can’t grab my hips and bounce me on your cock like you want to; I’d hit my head.” You feel his low groan reverberate through his chest. Knowing you need to be quick, you start to fuck yourself onto him, riding him as best as you can in the cramped space.

Nick brings one of his hands up to cup the top of your head, keeping your face tucked against his neck. With your head still, he rolls his hips to meet your movements. The shallow thrusts make the head of his cock push up tight against your g-spot with every pass, sending pleasure lancing through you. You turn your head to moan against his shoulder, muffling the sound in his shirt.

“That’s it, baby, ride me,” Nick manages, his voice tight. “You feel so fucking good, my perfect girl, just like that-” He knows hearing him will help you get over the edge - ever the gentleman, wanting to make sure you come first.

He needn’t have worried. The sheer relief of being with him again after wanting him for what felt like weeks, and the illicit nature of what you’re doing gives everything a sharper edge. You’re so wet you can feel your slick halfway down your thighs.

It’s dirty and fucked-up, and it’s so fucking perfect.

“Oh Nick-” you pant into his shoulder. Your whole body is thrumming, like you’ve touched a live wire. “You make me feel so full, wanna feel you all the time, fuck-” You’re rambling, careening closer to that orgasmic high. Another low groan rips through Nick as your cunt clamps down around him, muffled by him nipping at your neck. The feeling of his teeth on the delicate skin is enough to send you over the edge.

You chant his name mindlessly as you come, your face pressed so tightly against his shoulder to muffle your voice that you can’t breathe. Everything in you pulls tight and then lets go, delicious heat racing through your body until you can feel it in your toes.

The force of it makes you sag forwards against Nick, boneless. He takes over, rocking deeper and pulling you tighter against his body. You swear you feel his cock throb inside of you, the feeling making your cunt clamp down around him in turn.

Nick groans into your neck as he spills inside you, filling you up as he holds you as tightly as he can without hurting you. You’re both breathing raggedly; neither of you tries to move for a long moment.

“I can’t believe we just did that,” Nick murmurs eventually. You can’t help but snicker, your head still resting against his shoulder. You hear the click as he cracks his window; you assume the glass has steamed up. You resist the urge to swipe your hand against it like Rose in Titanic.

“Me either. Nicholas Amaro, SVU Detective, fucking a girl in public,” you tut teasingly. Your knees are starting to ache, but it’s not enough to make you move just yet; you’re enjoying being draped over Nick like this, still split open by his cock.

“What can I say? You’re a terrible influence, kid. I can never seem to get enough of you.”

“Oh, I’m the bad influence?” You sit up, shuddering at the feeling of him shifting inside of you. He’s giving you that smile; the one that oozes charm and shows off his dimples. Before you can object further, he kisses you. It’s softer this time, unhurried. You could stay here for hours under different circumstances.

“The worst,” Nick murmurs when he pulls away, running his hand down your back. “You incited a cop into committing a misdemeanour.”

“You were the one driving”, you point out. “If you wanted me to behave myself, you could have handcuffed me and ignored me ‘til we got back to your place.”

“Oh, don’t worry. The handcuffs’ll be waiting for you when I get you home.”

#k2023bdaybingo #nick amaro x reader #nick amaro #law and order svu fanfiction #law and order svu

354 notes · View notes

llamaqueenprompt · 8 months

Text

Crazy Person

Characters: Nick Amaro, Reader, other Law & Order: SVU characters.

Not Requested

Word Count: 733

Inspiration: “Since when did you become an expert?” “Since I watched a documentary about it. Last night.”

“Okay, we need a plan, before breaking into that house,” Liv said as everyone gathered in the bullpen.

“We could do some stake out,”

“No, they have security outside, we would be catched in five minutes,”

“Okay, this is going to sound crazy,” y/n started.

“Oh god, I never like when those words come out of your mouth,” Nick said, not even letting her finish.

“As I was saying,” she sends a death stare in Nick’s direction,”we could have someone go undercover. There are some houses that are up to sell in their neighborhood,”

“Since when did you become an expert in undercover operations?” Nick asked.

“Since I watched a documentary about it. Last night,”

Nick laughed, half expecting the others to join him, they never did undercover operations that would take this long in the SVU, but when no one joined in he got quite concerned, “You guys aren’t really thinking this is a good idea are you?”

“I think it is Amaro,” Captain Craig intervened,”I think y/n made a good point we can’t just break in, and their house won’t ever be 100% free so we need to gain their confidence. An undercover operation on a house next door isn’t that danger and unless anyone has a better idea this is the one we are going with,”

Everyone nodded agreeing with the basis of the plan, a lot of things still needed to be decided but they at least had an idea now and a path to follow.

“And I think y/n could be the one going, since she was the one that gave the idea,”

“No,” Nick didn’t want to sound possessive and like he didn’t trust you, because he really did, and he knew we was failing in both his goals, but we couldn’t let you do it, “y/n just came back from leave, she should be doing lighter jobs and going undercover is not it,”

“You’re kidding me right?” she crossed her arms in front of her chest and turned her body to face his.

“No,” he didn’t even hesitate.

“Are you seriously telling everyone that I shouldn’t be the one doing this operation because I got shot recently, when you after getting shot got kidnapped because you were stupid enough to go after a suspect on your own?!” she knew that she shouldn’t be yelling, but he couldn’t do this, not when she was having the opportunity of a lifetime.

At this point everyone was already looking at them, but neither of them cared. Nick was just trying to protect her and make sure she didn’t make the same mistakes he did in the past and she just couldn’t see it.

“Don’t bring that up now. I’m doing this to protect you,”

“Protect me? Protect me from what?”

He looked around, grabbed her wrist and pulled her into a storage room.

“You still have nightmares,” he closed the door and leaned into it “and don’t you dare deny it, I’m the one that wakes up during the night to comfort you and we don’t know what we will find inside that house, I don’t want you to do it on your own,”

“Nick,” she rolled her eyes, she was well aware of her nightmares, she didn’t need him to remind her.

“Don’t say it, I know that you are going to say that you are a very capable detective, and you are, but I’m your boyfriend and I have every right to get worried about you, and you’re going on this mission all alone, so I won’t be there to protect you in case something happens. I know that I probably shouldn’t have talked about it there, but…”

She kissed, she just kissed him to shut him up. He had a point, but did he really think she was going alone?

“Babe, no need to over react, I won’t go on the mission alone, probably you are going to be the one going with me,”

“Oh,” Nick’s head stopped running and his thoughts settled at that moment.

“Did you really think I was going to do it alone?” he hid his face in her neck, “Silly man,” she caressed his hair with her fingernails while he hugged her waist pulling her closer to him, “now go in there and say you liked the idea and were just being a crazy person,”

#imagine #x reader #law & order: special victims unit #law & order: svu #nick amaro #nick amaro x reader #nick amaro imagine

98 notes · View notes

tropes-and-tales-archives · 5 months

Text

Sonny Carisi: Second Chances, Part One

WC: 1739

TW: Angst; break-ups.

AN: This is part of a mini-series. The rest can be found here.

AN2: This first part is Nick Amaro x reader. The following pieces are Sonny Carisi x reader.

You sat in the cool interior of your car, waiting for your boyfriend to finish up his physical therapy. He would be a long road back, but he was making great progress already.

You had met Nick Amaro three years ago when you transferred into SVU from Major Case. Back then, he had been married to Maria and partnered up with Olivia Benson, and you had been chronically single and partnered with Fin Tutuola. You had managed to keep an admirably professional relationship with Nick, even joining him and his wife for a dinner party at their house once, but when his life fell apart with appalling force, you had done what you always do: you swept in and helped him put it back together.

When he was struggling in his marriage with Maria and dealing with the duel issues of her being stationed overseas and his own bitter jealousy, you were there to reassure him that no matter what happened, he had a wonderful daughter.

When he was struggling to come to terms with his son, Gilberto, and the crushing guilt that came with not being in his life, you were there to reassure him that the important thing was that he was there for Gil now.

When he was struggling with his undefinable relationship with your coworker, Amanda, you were there to reassure him (through clenched teeth and carefully chosen words) that he couldn’t save everyone, and maybe Amanda needed to hit rock bottom before she got help.

You had loved Nick within moments of meeting him, but you never acted on it and it always felt like innocent puppy love anyway. For a while, he was married, and then separated, and then divorced, and then hooking up with Amanda. The whole time, you loved him from afar and supported him as a friend and just chalked the whole situation up to unrequited love.

It wasn’t until you were paired up on a case regarding a future monster, a man who had a torture room built into his home, that you became more than friends. Nick had reacted badly to the man being acquitted, punching him and getting arrested for assault. You helped bail him out shortly thereafter, and that night, you and Nick hooked up after he reached for you like a man who was drowning.

To you, it wasn’t hooking up, which made it sound casual and nonchalant. To you, it was the culmination of more than a year of repressed feelings and one-sided ardor.

You assumed that Nick was just blowing off steam, proverbially speaking, but he kept coming over to your apartment, kept spending time with you. It morphed from just sex into dinner dates and lingering walks in the park and the occasional game at Yankee Stadium. If he never said “I love you,” it was likely due to his abominable track record with women.

He’ll say it someday, you reasoned with yourself. Give him time.

Even when he was seriously injured in a courthouse shooting, a shot to the liver and one to the knee…even when you were there by his side, grasping his warm hand as he drifted in and out of consciousness…even as you smoothed his hair away from his forehead and soothed him as he wept about his police career. Even then, though – he still didn’t say it.

Someday, you thought.

He was released from the hospital, and you moved him into your building because it had an elevator and a nice shower with a low step in – perfect for his continued recovery. You used up some of your personal days to help drive him to doctor’s appointments and therapy. Nick always thanked you profusely, pulling you in for fierce kisses while proclaiming that he didn’t deserve you. Then he’d get a faraway look in his eyes, and you wondered what he was thinking.

When you caught him working through his finances one night, and when you noted how he hid his papers from you when you walked in, you wondered even more. And when you saw a tab on his browser history about engagement ring values, you felt a pleasant churn in your gut.

So you waited for what came next, and in the meantime, you waited in your car for him to finish his therapy.

He exited the building twenty minutes later, still on crutches and with a fistful of papers clenched in his hand. Your inclination was to rush out and greet him, open the car door for him, but you knew that he hated feeling useless, so you waited while he hobbled himself to the car and climbed in.

“Good appointment?” you asked, flashing him a bright smile. He turned and smiled back at you.

“I’m officially done,” he replied. He held up his sheaf of papers and showed you his at-home exercises. “And I’ll probably be off these crutches in a week after that, once the final stitches come out.”

“That’s great!” you exclaimed. You pulled out into traffic and drove home, enjoying Nick’s sunny demeanor. The windows were down and a nice breeze was ruffling his hair, now longer than he usually wore it when he was on duty. “You’ll be back to chasing down perverts in no time.”

“Yeah,” he said, but he didn’t say more.

----

It was two days later that he pulled you aside to talk to you. He was sitting on the couch and called you over to sit beside him. He took your hand in his own and looked at you with those big, brown eyes that you could get lost in.

“I wanted to talk to you,” he said with a slight smile. “I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me. You’re the glue that’s held me together the past year…”

You interrupted him. “I’d do it again, Nick. You know I love you.” You noted the slight flinch on his face when you said it and frowned.

“I know,” he said, and he seemed like he was choosing his words carefully. “And you know that I care about you too.”

There it was. Your stomach dropped and you felt a hectic flush break out across your face and neck. The giddy anticipation of being proposed to – you hadn’t wanted to believe it, but the evidence was all there, he was shopping for rings, and you were a detective, for heaven’s sake, it all made sense – disappeared.

If he couldn’t respond that he loved you too now, he never would. Despite the evidence, you had misread the conclusion.

“I’m not returning to the NYPD,” he said, and he squeezed your hand lightly. “I’m…I’m going to move to California. To be near Zara and Gil.” You pulled your hand away from his, and he added quietly, “I wanted you to know first, before I tell Liv and the rest of the squad.”

A small part of you, a stubbornly optimistic, stupid part of you thought that the next sentence out of his mouth would be a plea for you to join him on the west coast. But that part of you was, well, stupid.

“I can never thank you enough…” he repeated, but you refused to look at him, and he trailed off uncomfortably. There was a long, heavy silence.

“I was never going to be enough for you, was I?” you finally asked. You weren’t angry – that would come later, and it would last a long time, but you didn’t know that yet. You just felt drained. Defeated. “All the love and support, all the times I was there for you…it still wasn’t enough.”

Nick started to shake his head, and you could see him trying to think of something soothing that was still the truth, but you continued.

“I guess at least Maria was smart enough to move on. Amanda was smart enough to move on. I’m just the idiot who sat around and waited, thought that if I held on long enough and was there for you, you’d see the real me.”

Nick placed his hand on your knee, patting it gently. “I do see the real you,” he said softly. “You are amazing.”

“But not amazing enough for you.”

Nick sighed. “This isn’t what I wanted. I never wanted to be divorced, a father to two kids with two different women, starting a new career mid-life.” He sighed again, heavier. “And I never wanted to lead you on, but you’re so…so you. So accommodating. So easy-going.”

You scoffed bitterly. “So stupid. So blind.” You pushed his hand off of your knee and stood up. “So willing to believe that you were engagement ring shopping.”

Nick sat up, startled. “When did you see that?”

You shrugged. “You were in the shower, and I got online to order dinner. It was an open tab.” You glanced at him and noted the irritation on his face. “I wasn’t snooping, Nick. You left it out there for anyone to see.”

“I’m sorry you saw that,’ he replied as realization dawned across his face. “You must have been thinking…” He trailed off, clearly uncomfortable, then dropped his head in shame. “When Maria and I divorced, she sold her engagement ring.”

“So?”

“So.” He didn’t want to finish, but you held him with the force of your gaze. Let him be uncomfortable, uneasy for once. “So, I wanted to find a similar ring…for when I propose to her again.” He said the last part so softly that you could hardly make it out, but the message landed like a clanging church bell all the same.

You nodded curtly and walked over to the door, grabbing your keys and phone.

“We’ve been talking for a while,” he said after your retreating form. “It’d be best for Zara if we…”

You didn’t catch the rest of it. You were already out the door, down the hallway, and outside. If you could, you would have walked forever, as far from California as possible, up the east coast, through New England and up into Canada until the coastline gave out and you could walk into the surf and let the Atlantic pull you into its chilly embrace.

Instead, you walked to Central park. And when you returned to your apartment late that night, Nick was already gone. He was probably at his mother’s house, but it didn’t really matter.

He had never really been there to begin with.

#sonny carisi #sonny carisi imagine #sonny carisi x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction #tropes and tales

40 notes · View notes

bullet-prooflove · 1 year

Text

Therapy Sessions- Nick Amaro x Reader

Tagging my girls: @misscharlielulu and @cosmic-psychickitty

Nick didn’t know that you went to the same boxing gym, not until he ran into you late one night. You were in the ring when he entered the building, sparing with his trainer Ezra. You were good, he thought as he hung back and watched. Well-conditioned and disciplined, you rolled easy with the punches you did take. You anticipated Ezra’s moves ducking and sliding with the grace of a dancer. You had been at it for years, he could tell.

Your session was winding down as he approached the ring, his gym bag slung over his shoulder. He set it down in the corner as you stripped off your gloves and placed them on the edge.

“Hey.” He greeted as he lifted one of the middle ropes for you to duck under. You exited elegantly, clasping his hand as he helped you off the podium. “I didn’t know you came here.”

You gave him that smile, the one that stole his breath away as you began to undo the vibrant red wraps that were wound around your palms and wrists. You hadn’t worked together long, just over six months, but he enjoyed spending time with you. You were a breath of fresh air in a job that was plagued with darkness. Being in your presence felt like he was stepping into the sunshine after a long, called winter.

“I didn’t know you did.” You returned, nudging him with your shoulder before stuffing the wraps into your gloves.

“Sometimes I have a little extra energy to burn off after a case. Boxing, it helps me work a few things out in here.” He said tapping his temple.

There was silence for a moment after his disclosure. He didn’t talk about his mental health issues, not really. Benson knew, Amanda had been around for some of the bad shit, but she had no idea he was in counselling, their casual thing had come to an end a couple of years ago and neither wanted to pick it up again. The two of them were toxic together.

“I usually do late nights or early mornings.” You supplied, your attention dropping to the laces of your sneakers.

There was something about the way you said it, the timbre of your words. He detected an undercurrent of shame in the revelation, he knew how your head could get fucked up especially in this job.

“You have trouble sleeping?” Nick asked, inclining his head so that he could study the profile of your features.

After his own experiences he should have been able to read the signs, however he also knew how easy it could be to hide them, to pretend that you were fine, day in and day out until you broke.

“Don’t you?” You returned.

Nick smiled because this was what you did. You believed in an exchange of information. A little give and take. Nick could work with that. The truth was he wanted to get to know you better, you were more than just a colleague to him and as for being friends…

What he felt went far deeper than that. He couldn’t pinpoint when it had started, only that it had. Your presence in his life had changed something and he felt more upbeat, more buoyant. His workdays seemed a little bit brighter, even after the shit he saw.

“The boxing helps.” Nick informed you. “I used to have anger issues. Ended up in therapy, boxing is a good outlet, it helps me channel it.”

He didn’t do this; he didn’t share personal details like this. It always felt too raw to talk about but right now it felt good to get it off his chest. He was showing you a part of himself he wasn’t proud of; it was as honest as he could be with another person.

“I used to drink.” You told him, tilting your head so that you could meet his gaze. “It started after a C.I of mine got shot and then…” You inhaled deeply. “It was a slippery slope. I’ve been working the program for about three years now.”

It made sense. Whenever they went out for a drink you always turned it down, you always had plans. Originally, he thought you had a partner, a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, but you had never mentioned a significant other. He’d been to your apartment a couple of times, when you were carpooling, and he’d seen no signs of a relationship.

“I should have been inviting you out to dinner instead of a drink.” He realised, rolling his eyes up to the ceiling.

“And you call yourself a detective.” You teased, a small smile ghosting across your lips. “It’s not that I’m not interested, it’s just the drinking thing when people find out about it…” You trailed off.

Nick got it, he really did. He hadn’t been easy to live with, he knew that and as soon as people found out about the anger issues, they associated it with violence. They thought he was unpredictable, that that monster inside of him could be unleashed at any moment. That wasn’t the truth, it began with a series of triggers, they were like keys snapping open locks to a cage with a beast inside it. He recognised those triggers now; he knew when things were starting to take a turn and he dealt with them beforehand.

“They judge you.” he said knowingly.

“Yea…”

“I don’t judge you.” he uttered, bumping his shoulder against yours. “You know that right? This job it comes with its own set of problems. If you ever need someone to talk to someone, I’m here for you.”

“Do you need someone to talk to Nick?” You asked him, jerking your head towards the ring. “Isn’t that why you’re here tonight?”

Nick’s dark eyes met yours and he wondered what you saw in them. Did you see the echoes of the cases that haunt him at night? The ones he didn’t catch.

“Yea.” He said, glancing over his shoulder at the boxing ring. “Maybe I do.”

Love Nick Amaro? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

#nick amaro imagine #nick amaro #nick amaro x you #nick amaro x reader

89 notes · View notes

noellawrites · 11 months

Note

Out of all the fandoms you write for, who would you say are the top 5 overall horniest? I know Nick is the top of the SVU scale, but how does that compare if you widen the pool? Is he still the number 1?

i absolutely love this ask and i have been pondering it for a while! so without further ado, may i present to you…

@noellawrites’ horniest characters i write for list! 💖

*this list is ranking the top five characters i write for this is my opinion! feel free to discuss in the comments*

#5 - Marcus White from Superstore

Marcus is always talking about sex and how horny he is, but deep down his heart is really what’s horny. he is a bisexual king and also hella in love with Jonah (i don’t make the rules.) most of the fandom agrees he could get it, despite the show’s running joke that no one likes him. he needs a ten-hour fuck session followed by some good ramen. horny level: 8/10

#4 - Lalo Salamanca from Better Call Saul

Lalo is dripping in sex appeal, even his words are sexy. he’s drug dealer dilf in the best possible way. i feel like he’s been to several orgies before and also he has a massive schlong. also bisexual and had a fling with Gus Fring happy pride month and once again i don’t make the rules. horny level: 8.5/10

#3 - Nick Amaro from Law and Order: SVU

Nick is so pretty and he knows it. and he just looks like he fucks, yk what i mean? he can be my baby daddy anytime. all of the shirtless shots of him in SVU? they knew what they were doing to us. bonus points for being a great dad bc that’s hot, too. we love good parenting. horny level: 9/10

#2 - Rosita Espinosa from The Walking Dead

Rosita’s a badass, she’s gorgeous, she’s a milf, and she’s managed to fuck all the hot apocalypse men. she’s always horny and always ready to kill walkers. she has mad pussy game and gives some crazy head (literally what am i even saying at this point) horny level: 10/10

aaaaand #1 horniest character goes to: Richie Jerimovich from The Bear !!!

If you’ve seen this show, you know i’m right. i saw someone refer to him as having “futon dick” = he’s a broke ass guy who fucks like god. richie is a big whore with a big dick and oh my god he needs to use it. we better get a sexy scene this season. anyway he always looks like he just fucked someone over a table in the back and you can’t tell me him and Mikey weren’t fuckbuddies. horny level: 11/10

#noelle answers #the bear tv show #richie jerimovich #rosita espinosa #lalo salamanca #better call saul #superstore #marcus white #nick amaro #law and order special victims unit

33 notes · View notes

twobruhsinahottub · 2 months

Note

Hi! On Feb 3 you responded to a post about attempting to complete a ship for me, thank you for giving it a go. It's been a rollercoaster last two years. So if you could do a ship or a one shot/headcannon I would appreciate it. Ship info: I'm an introverted geeky country girl, so a really odd mix. I don't like drama, I'm very loyal. Though I'm sweet and try to be kind, I believe in honesty/transparency. Hard working. I mean I really relate (see some similarities in personalities, though he's a lot more out going)to Carisi's character, with a dash of the Rollins family drama. I bloom around people I trust and that when my goofy, geeky (I love to read, play video games, love interesting facts).

If you feel more comfrotable with a one shot or headcanon or whatever those blurbs are called that give you the different perspectives of the different characters, how would Law and order: SVU guys (Barba, Carisi, Dodds, Amaro) would react to finding out their significant other has basically made it through their adult life without romantic relationship, the s/o admits they've found it hard to let walls down to let someone in.

Sorry for taking so long to get to this, honestly i forgot about it, but here you go! Heres headcanons on how Barba, Carisi, and Amaro (no Dodds cause i havent seen his seasons/episodes, sorry) would react to finding out their partner has never been in a relationship!

Sorry in advance, this is kinda ooc and not very detailed. I havent written in years lmao. This is how i picture the guys but feel free to share any differing hc you have

Rafael Barba:

Would first be shocked because "how"

After explaining why, though, he understands. He has trouble with letting his guard down, too, and he is honored that you trusted him enough to tell him this.

Dominick Carisi:

Would be confused because he can not fathom you having not been in a relationship before. But once you explain, he hugs you and thanks you for letting him in. He probably shares some similar experience he or someone he knows has had to try and relate as well.

Nick Amaro:

He just looks at you for a bit. Then he says ok. And eventually, likely a long while (as in days, months, etc) later, he asks why. You explain to him that you have trouble trusting people, and he says he gets that, and gives you a hug. You both carry on and it likely isnt mentioned again.

#sonny writes #law and order svu #svu #rafael barba #sonny carisi #svu headcanons #nick amaro #character x you

6 notes · View notes

storiesofsvu · 2 years

Text

Three Words Ch 9

Casey Novak x reader. Nick Amaro x reader Warnings: language, alcohol, smut, some h/c

“Ya know, you seem oddly peppy today.” Fin’s brows furrowed at the man across the conference room table from him. Nick gave a little laugh, smirk evident on his lips as he glanced up at the older man, they’d been assigned to dig through some old case files, the only two in the room.

“Had a good weekend, s’all.” He’d literally spent the entire time at your apartment, most of it in the bedroom, to say the both of you had very high stamina would be an understatement.

There were multiple moments where you were barely a level above horny teenagers, movie forgotten on the t.v. while you made out on the couch, grinding against each other, whimpers leaving your lips. On more than one occasion you’d simply gotten bored, having seen an episode already, starting to palm him through his pants, quickly sinking down to your knees, groaning at the taste of his cock on your tongue. In turn he’d gotten handsy when a a sex scene took over the screen, bringing you to a climax with just his fingers, chuckling at the whimpering as you came before he tossed you over his shoulder, carrying you to the bedroom.

“Yeah? What’s her name?”

“You know I can’t tell you that.” Nick laughed openly,

“If she’s got ya this smiley, she’s gotta be good at what she does.” Nick shot him a look, “Hey, it’s not like I’m gettin’ any, need to live vicariously through someone.”

“She’s…somethin’ else that’s for sure.” Amaro started, “I mean…when was the last time you got more than one blowjob in a day?”

“Before I stupidly got married, that’s for sure.” Fin laughed out.

“And I’m talking like, an epic blow job.” He gave a small laugh, appreciating the ability to share the information with someone, being able to brag about you without Fin knowing it was you, “Fuck is she ever incredible. Like, you remember the first time you ever got one, and it was the greatest fucking feeling in the world? It’s like that…every time.”

“You’re a lucky man Amaro.”

“Oh I know it. Best part is she actually loves it, a girl that really likes sucking dick? I mean she was legitimately begging me to fuck her face.” Nick jumped at the sound of a third voice joining into their conversation,

“Last time I checked I was here about sex crimes, not your overshared sex life Amaro.” Casey’s voice rang through the conference room, “You got enough for a warrant yet or not?”

“I..yeah Counsellor…” Nick stumbled slightly, pulling the file off the table, handing it to Novak quickly.

“Thanks.” She flipped through it, satisfied with the evidence, “I’ll get the warrants. And…keep your personal lives away from me, I really don’t need to hear about you getting your dick sucked, ever again.” She was gone literally as fast as she’d appeared, Fin nearly howling in laughter at Amaro’s reaction. He was up for some bro talk, but having Casey over hear it wasn’t exactly what he’d hoped for. Especially considering your history with her.

***

“Oh fuck!” You buried your head into his shoulder, “Nicky, we really shouldn’t be doing this!” He chuckled against the soft skin of your neck, fingers plunging deep into your wetness while his thumb pressed against your clit.

“Awe, but sweetheart the risk makes it more fun, doesn’t it?” You missed the smirk he gave you, your teeth clenching down around the fabric covering his shoulder in an attempt to keep somewhat quiet.

It was your day off, but you’d been dragged out by the fact that it was someone’s birthday, and the fact that you’d been practically hiding at home recently. It was a mixture of the squad and the lab team, enough people involved that no one would realize you and Nick were missing. The weather had finally began to really warm up, and he could barely help himself when you showed up in an adorable sundress, your usually tied back hair loose around your shoulders. The little curve of your thigh exposed, the swell of your chest heaving with laughter at someone’s ridiculous joke, he’d practically tackled you on your way back from the bathroom, pulling you into a storeroom where he promptly locked the door, laying a bruising kiss against your lips. Your panting increased, he could feel your walls flittering around his fingers, the way your hands clenched against his back, pulling him tighter to you, hips thrusting in rhythm with his hand.

“Be a good girl…I know you wanna cum for me.” The praise sent you over the edge, the muffled moan escaping against his covered skin, body shaking against his, you could feel your clit pulsing, eager for even more as your breathing calmed.

“Jesus Christ Nick.” You muttered, a soft laugh escaping your lips as you looked up at him, groaning in arousal as he sucked the taste of you off his fingers.

“You wanna get out of here?” He quirked a brow before you pulled him into a quick kiss.

“Like you wouldn’t fucking believe.”

It didn’t take long for you and Amaro to discreetly slip out of the bar unnoticed, it was still early enough you could play off excuses of work, previous plans, anything that they’d believe. Much like any other night, he’d barely gotten you through the doorframe, kicking it shut behind him before you literally jumped on him. Your lips met his feverishly, tongue plunging into his mouth, tasting the beer against his tongue while yours lapped at the taste of him. His hands tugged against your hair, against your skin, tugging the dress over your shoulders before his lips making their way down your neck. You gasped as they hit your pleasure point, a loud moan when his teeth sunk into it, tongue trailing over the bitten skin.

“Nicky please…” You begged, voice airy with want, attempting to pull him to the bed despite the fact that you were still wrapped around his standing form.

“Oh sweetheart I’m gonna let you come, don’t worry.” He smirked for a hot second, letting you drop onto the bed, “Get naked for me.” The forward statement came along with him quickly stripping of his own clothes, dropping them to your bedroom floor as you practically tore off your underwear. He couldn’t help the smirk when you groaned at the sight of his hard cock, moving towards it, “Uh-ah, tonights about you…promise.”

You barely had a second to react, a giggle escaping your lips as he flipped you on the bed, your head landing among the pillows, a loud gasp escaping your lips as his mouth enveloped your cunt. A hand shot to the sheets, clenching at it while your hips jolted up against Nick’s mouth as he praised how fucking delicious you were, the other hand burying into his hair, unable to want anything but pressing him more into it. A shout left your lips as you felt his fingers plunging into you once again, nearly whimpering at the contact. They curled perfectly, hitting your g-spot right as he gave your clit a heavy suck, teeth nipping around it in the best way they could. Your body shook, a wail leaving your mouth, your juices shooting out of you harder than they ever had, breath panting heavily while Nick crawled up your body.

“Never seen you do that before…” He smirked.

“Never done that before.” You shot back, a grin splayed on your face, pulling him into a deep kiss, your voice airy and needing when you spoke again, “Fuck me hard…please Nick…”

He nearly came at the innocent look in your eyes alone, a deep groan leaving his lips when you flipped over, presenting yourself on your hands and knees, he swore heavily when you tossed your hair over your shoulder, looking back at him “Make me squirt again…” The only time he wasted was tearing the condom open before he plunged into you, swearing at the feeling of your sopping cunt wrapped around him. Barely able to stand the feeling of him dragging against your walls you dropped against the bed, a string of moans and swears leaving your lips. This was by far the loudest sex the two of you had had, noises of skin on skin vibrating off the walls, both of you not afraid to be vocal, the feelings too much, loud moans and yelps leaving your lips. Nick stuttered when his hips met yours in a particularly rough thrust, sending you flying towards the headboard, an elaborate moan of ‘Oh fuck Nicky..’ leaving your mouth. His hand wrapped around your hair, pulling your body flush to him,

“What..you like it rough baby?”

“Yes..please..fuck..please…” You were so fucking close, you were so fucking weak you didn’t even care about absolutely begging for it. A gasp left your lips as Nick’s hand crept up your collar bone, sitting at the bottom of your neck for confirmation.

“This okay?”

“Please!” You nearly sobbed, the feeling of his cock dragging against you nearly too much. You thew your head back while his hand closed around your neck, the sensation throwing you way over the edge, body thriving against his. You barely remembered him chasing his own release, just the feeling of him spilling inside the condom, collapsing over you, swearing in satisfaction before he rolled over, disposing of the condom. You laid in silence for longer than a while, catching your breath, coming back to earth before Nick spoke, hand stroking your body softly.

“You okay?”

“Fucking perfect.” You murmured against the pillow before flipping to face him, snuggling against his body, “Though I’m fucking starving.” He laughed at that, kissing your forehead while he reached for his phone.

“What’d’you feel like?”

“Hmmm…” You pondered for a moment, “Could really go for some Pad Thai.”

“Chicken or tofu?” He replied, already knowing your two go to’s.

“Tofu please.” You kissed his bare chest softly, thankful for a ….friend who was able to actually understand you.

It didn’t take long for a knock on your door after Nick had ordered the food, you were honestly surprised at how fast they were that night. He’d throw on his boxers, grabbing his wallet while you tugged on his button up, your dress still on the hallway floor. You simply hoped neither of you were too much of a mess for the poor delivery guy, padding your way down the hallway as Nick opened the door.

“$25, right?” He asked, head down as he opened his wallet, tugging out the cash.

“What the fuck!?” You jumped at the sound of Casey’s voice, having finally made it in plain view of the doorway, “Y/N you can’t be serious….” She shocked by the sight of Amaro in boxers answering your door, begging that he was simply taking over your guest room for the week, but the sight of you clad in only his dress shirt was more than enough to confirm just exactly what was going on here.

“Casey?! What are you evening doing here?” You shot back, barely able to help the tears slowly leaking their way into your eyes.

“What am I doing here? Check your missed calls! I was worried! I needed you!”

“Oh please!” You shot back quickly, honestly angered at the entire situation, if Casey was going to treat you like crap you could at least finally stand up for yourself. “You only care about me when it’s convenient to you. You don’t give a shit and I’m more than well aware.”

“So what?! You decide to go off and fuck Nick to distract you?”

“As if you don’t do the exact same thing!?” Your voices were raised, you were thankful Nick managed to keep out of it, not interjecting into the quick argument, “Get the FUCK out of my apartment!”

“So what?! So you can go back to sucking his dick!?” She shot back. You felt the anger and bit of alcohol swirling in you from earlier, words you never thought would leave your mouth slipping through your lips.

“You can stay all you want. But I’ll let him rail me in front of you, then maybe you’ll finally know what a real orgasm looks like!” Nick literally had to hold back the laughter at that one, he knew you’d always been a feisty one, but that, that had some goddamn pain to it, there was no doubt you were a fighter

“You disgust me.” It was the last thing Casey managed to get out, you slamming the door unbelievably hard in her face, an angry yell leaving your mouth as you collapsed against it, barely able to meet Nick’s eyes.

“I understand if you want to leave…” You murmured, surprised when he moved closer to you, cupping your cheek in his hand.

“Our food’s still on the way, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Nick, I’m sorry. I feel like an idiot.”

“Don’t…” His lips met yours, moving with ease, “You’re not an idiot. A fool in love maybe…but not an idiot.” You could barely focus at the way his mouth was nipping down your neck.

“Nicky…”

“Yes sweetheart?” He quirked,

“Fuck me like you hate me?”

“Baby I’ll fuck you so hard you won’t even remember your own name, much less hers.”

“Please…” You breathed, honestly annoyed when the actual food arrived at your door, but thankful for the fuel because you definitely needed it.

#casey novak #nick amaro #casey novak x reader #nick amaro x reader #three words #law and order #law and order svu #svu #law and order special victims unit

60 notes · View notes

fatalitysficbakery · 2 years

Note

Hi ! I’m new to your page and I LOVE it so far ! I was wondering how do you think Amaro would react if YN was in Rollins place while their being held hostage in S16.E4 Holdens Manifesto ?

Holden’s Manifesto. Nicholas Amaro x Black Fem!Reader

Genre; Angst/Fluff.

Warnings; Hostage Situation, Side Character Death, Blood, Protective Yet Tender!Nick.

Synopsis; My first reaction about one of my FAVORITE episodes!? Okay, Okay. Here’s how I think Amaro would react to s16e4 but with wife!reader instead of Rollins.

↳ ❤︎ Heaven’s Baked Goods (Masterlist) ❤︎

A/N; i think this has GOT to be my favorite ask.

↳ Now we all know Nick, he’s strong headed, has a LOT of anger issues, and most of all? He’s protective. Sometimes a little too protective. When he sees you starting to get into Holden’s head he knew it’d only end one way; He’d have to leave, and that was something he was not prepared to do and with you being the only one in the room Holden would talk to, Nick’s presence wasn’t much appreciated given the fact he was a male Holden determined to be the reason women didn’t look his way.

With Nick disarmed and handcuffed it gave you time to establish a rapport with Holden, Nicks stomach was churning the entire time he watched you with the unhinged individual. He was silently praying a shot blasted through that window, but he knew there was no clear shot at the moment. Not with a hostage in the room.

“Not so tough now, are you”? Holden smirked at Amaro.

“Hey, Holden, He’s not the one you’re mad at. Neither are these girls. Let’s talk about the people who’ve hurt you”.

Every move you made, word you spoke was calculated, engineered to target Holden’s outpouring insecurities. He scoffed, his attention turning from Amaro to you.

“This guy is your partner? Yeah, you can do better. He talked to me before with another woman, and I just hopped on my bicycle and rode away”.

“Yeah, you played it smart Holden”. With his gun still pointed at the frightened girls head, his attention finally turns to Nick for a moment, angry and hating.

“I did NOT say you could call me Holden”, He spat venomously.

This is when he notices it, the protectiveness over you, the way you stayed by Nick’s side even while speaking to him; It was like you spat on Holden. Nick could see him gradually getting angrier.

“Are you having sex with this guy”?

“Let’s talk about you”.

“You are, aren’t you? Of course you are. Girls like you always go for jerks like this”.

That’s when you saw your in, your tiny slither of a hole that revealed Holden’s kryptonite— A woman’s attention.

“Girl’s ignore you”? Amaro asked, “That’s gotta piss you off”.

“You know what pisses me off”?

“What’s that”?

“Is pretty boys like you. Y’know? Good looking all your life. Born…Gaupo. Spin the bottle at seven or eight a-and sexual relations at 14, 15”.

You were glad for your husbands help, keeping him talking. It gave you a moment to plan your next move, a move you knew would anger Amaro but a move that would save this girls life.

“Girls should’ve been going after you all along. You’re a good looking guy”.

“Shut up”! Holden glares, pulling the girl tighter, causing a small whimper to escape, “When was your first time”?

When neither you nor Nick answered, Holden laughed in disbelief.

“Yeah, no answer. Why? Because now you are doing it with her and you don’t want her to know that she is just another notch on your belt”.

Standing up slowly, you knew it was time, his resolve was breaking and he was showing vulnerability.

“Do you think he cares about you”?

You shake your head, “I know what he is”.

When Nick heard you talking, he was visibly struggling against his handcuffs because he knew— He knew what was coming next, outside the team was struggling to find a way in, to find a way to get you, the hostages, and Amaro out.

“Look at him. Helpless. Useless. You think he’s better than me”.

“I don’t. He’s not”.

Holden’s head popped up at this, hesitant to trust but apart of him was still just a boy that needed validation, “Yes you do”.

“I’m not a kid”, Amaro winced, finally just letting himself rest, still silent, still praying, “These young girls, they don’t get it…They don’t see, they don’t understand how special you are”.

“Are you tricking me”?

“No. Thoughtful guys. Polite. The kind that will hold the door open for you. Y-you don’t have to be macho”.

“These ‘girls’ think you do”.

Stepping a tad closer, careful, “Women don’t”. You offered, finally close enough to him, close enough to get into his mind, “There are things I wanna tell you. Adult things. Not in front of other people. P-private things, y’know. Just for you”?

The armor Holden so delicately thought he had crafted was demolishing before you and Nick’s very eyes.

“Okay”? You bit your lip nervous but not willing to show it, “I see the potential in you, Holden. I see how powerful you are”.

“Do you”?

You’d think Amaro’s heart stopped the way he yelled ‘no’ when the gun was finally on you, you gave him a small nod to tell him it’d be okay.

↳ When Nick was finally outside with the hostages, the amount of worry he displayed was insane. He knew you were skilled, but the thought of you being in there any longer than you had to had the man about ready to have a heart attack and of course he’s an angry boy so he does angry boy things.

“Now he’s got the gun on Y/ln”.

“Where are the students”? Chief Dodds asked.

“He moved them off camera. We’re trying to get another angle”.

“Fast, we need to take our shot”.

“Hold up, if you miss our people are still in there” Benson reasoned.

That’s when the door opened and Amaro yelled out, “COMING OUT”! the team was quick to get the girls to safety while Liv rushed to Nick.

“Nick! What happened? Why did he let you go”?

“He wanted to be alone with Y/n. Please tell me we’ve got a clear shot”.

“Unfortunately…Not yet”.

“So she’s stuck in there? My wife is stuck in there with a mentally ill maniac, a gun pointed at her head and we don’t have a shot”?

When Liv shook her head solemnly, Nick was quick to punch the nearest thing to him and unfortunately it was a fence, tore the skin on his hand immediately.

↳ When you finally do get out you best believe Nick didn’t let you out of his SIGHT. I’m talking 24 hour surveillance onnat ass.

The gun was still pointed at your head but you were making good headway.

“I’ll tell you the truth. Nick is the kind of boy that I used to like. Yeah…I fell for the quarterback. The guys with the big shoulders and the big smiles” You sighed, acting school really had paid off in the long run.

“They told me I was special but…They just wanted to use me. You know what, Holden, and I’ll tell you something— I-I went back to my high school for a reunion and every thing is different now. I mean- The star athletes? They’re just fat and sweaty now. They’re with big, ugly women that they don’t care about. It’s the intelligent guys, the smart guys. They have…They have everything”!

Holden was listening intently, and honestly his grip on the gun wasn’t even good, if you wanted to you could’ve just taken it but— It was risky. Too risky.

“I mean, they’re rich. They’ve got beautiful wives. They’re— They’re guys like you. They were intelligent, sensitive, considerate”.

“I try to be”. Holden’s voice wavered, almost cracking. A good sign.

It was all going so good.

“I know. I know that, I can- I can see that in you now. Now that…I’m a woman”.

It was all going so good. Until it wasn’t. Until there was blood splattered against your skin, fresh and warm.

“And I wish we weren’t here right now. Yeah, I wish we’d met someplace else. I just…I don’t want this to sound wrong, Holden, but…I think you’re superb. I really do”.

You didn’t understand, you were frozen, replaying the moment over in your mind and wondering what went so wrong.

“It is too late”.

“I read your manifesto”

“You did”?

“Mm. I couldn’t put it down. Holden, it’s— It’s brilliant and I just… I’m so sorry that somebody like you has had to go through all this. You don’t deserve this. You…deserve to be adored. To be caressed. To be…Um…To be kissed. Yeah”.

You were walking over to him, you remember, you had gotten his defenses down completely; You could’ve walked him out.

“Would you— Would you let me kiss you”?

Outside, Amaro couldn’t have been happier to see that gun lowered, he was proud of you, ready to see you walk out but it wasn’t that easy. It wasn’t his call.

“He’s lowering the gun, give them the green light”.

He, Fin, and Liv tried to reason with Chief Dodds but it was like talking to a brick wall.

“Sniper still doesn’t have a clear shot, Holden has to get closer to Y/n”.

“Why isn’t she getting him in range”?

“Just give her time”.

“She knows what she’s doing, she’ll get him to put the gun down”.

You could hear multiple voices near you but you were still stuck, rewinding time in your mind and trying to figure out where you’d failed.

“Now, while we’re here. While we’re alone. Just let me kiss you”.

“I have never kissed anyone”.

You remembered his voice clearly, it sounded as if he was on the verge of tears; He’d never been touched by a woman, let alone kissed, he was scared, mentally ill, and you…you had him.

“Just give me your hands. I won’t hurt you, I promise it’s going to be all right, Holden”.

You neared him, he was about to put the gun down and as you were about to kiss him it happened like a flash and all you felt was liquid dripping down your face. The last thing you’d said to him specifically replayed in your mind.

“It all begins with a kiss”. But no, you were wrong…It all ended with the promise of one.

The next few minutes seemed to happen like a slideshow presentation in your head, it all happened so fast and you couldn’t comprehend a thing as the team rushed into the building, as Amaro rushed to your side.

“Y/n! Hey! Are you alright? Yeah”?

“I had him. It was…It was done. Why didn’t you stop them”?

“It wasn’t our call, alright? Come on let’s get out of here”.

“Okay, Okay…Okay? I’m fine”.

You remembered Nick trying to touch you, to snap you out of it but you pushed him away, you didn’t want to be touched. You didn’t want to think. Everything else was a blur, from the hospital to the car ride home, you didn’t remember much else but you knew Nick didn’t leave your side the entire time and you weren’t sure you wanted him to.

↳ When it was all said and done, though? Nick was nothing but tender with you, your security and safety rested in his arms that night, and honestly his safety and security rested in yours— Rested in knowing he was holding you close now and nothing could hurt you. You can betchur ass he didn’t let you go either, if you had to pee or something? He would sit up and wait until you got back. Just so he knew you were safe.

After your shower, a long one at that. You put on one of your husbands hoodies and went over to the mirror. Looking in that mirror you saw a mix of exhaustion and tension in your own eyes. Your usually caramel skin had taken on a pale tint, your eyes had dark circles under them, your curls damp with shrinkage after washing the blood from your hair and skin. You couldn’t pull yourself to look away, not even when the first sob escaped.

Nick was quick, he’d been listening out for you after taking his shower in the guest room and when that first sob was let out the door was pushed open and you pulled into his arms, rocked and shushed before being carried back to bed.

“Nick”?

“Yes, Amor”? He asked, kissing your forehead. You were now lying in bed, your head on his bare chest listening to the sound of his heartbeat, since it’d always seemed to calm you.

“I did the best I could. Right”?

Suddenly you were pulled even closer (If that was even possible), and Nick made you look at him, his features reflecting your own; Exhausted and Tense.

“You did perfectly, Querida. It wasn’t your call, it wasn’t Fin or I’s call. Not even Liv could stop Dodds, but you? Babygirl, I couldn’t have been prouder. So, yeah…Yeah. You did the best you could and I don’t want you thinking otherwise. Me Entiendes”?

You smiled weakly at your husband, and kissed his cheek, holding out your pinkie for him. He chuckles yet obliges and entwines them.

“Entiendo, Amor”.

And with that, he kisses your pinkies. To seal it, of course.

~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~ + ~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~

A/N; It’s official. This is my favorite thing I’ve ever written.

103 notes · View notes