#forcing them to didn’t really work.

[quietwingsinthesky]

Ayo, I wanted to say while I'm a fan of fall of the house of usher, I was right there with some of your crit lmaooo. To me its my favorite show but I think honestly it should have front-loaded that Annabel was dead, Rufus in the wall, the deal etc. Then I feel like there would have been much more tension and horror because we would know for certain Verna's motives etc. Huge mistake holding all that imo. I feel like ep 8 almost had to carry too much with all the unraveling it had to do.

I don’t know where I stand exactly with the “mysteries” all being held until the last moment. Not sure I can speak on it because they weren’t really mysteries at all to me, both because of being familiar with Poe’s work and the fact that the show really wasn’t being subtle enough to hide anything. Except for the deal with Verna. Because that felt less like a “mystery” and more like a crucial plot point that we just weren’t allowed to know about that made the rest of the show more confusing than anything.

The show really didn’t have much tension in it at all. The narrative jumping around nonlinearly like it did really didn’t add anything, and kind of made most of the episodes turn from the horror of ‘oh god, what’s going to happen to these guys’ into ‘hey, if one guy on the moon hit another guy with a rock, would that be fucked up or what?’

And then there’s the issue of the one mystery I thought they set up very well: the informant. There was tension there! We didn’t know who it was because Roderick didn’t know and couldn’t flat out tell us like he could about how all his children were dead! And honestly, I feel like if Verna had had an even smaller presence during the first few deaths (and not been monologuing at them for whole minutes before they died, because that was both irritating (why does she talk in statistics? who talks like that? it’s why it’s so hard to get any grasp on what she’s supposed to be for me because one minute she’s going ‘hey, i’ll spare you, just walk away’ and the next she’ll say something like ‘wow did you know (fucked up thing), i love/hate that humans do (fucked up thing), die now.’)) then it would have helped the informant mystery even more. Turns it into an game of trying to figure out if the deaths were caused by someone in the family or if they really were supernatural in nature. Obviously, it’s a mike flanagan show, we know the answer is inevitably going to be the latter, but it would have been fun to at least play with that idea. They teased both that and the idea of another unknown kid killing the others, but neither of those theories actually mattered to us as the audience because we already knew that the kids were being murdered by a magical devil lady.

And anyway, as you know, all my theorizing falls completely flat because There Was Never An Informant. Most of the show I’ve made my peace with being the way it is, but that? That was just insulting. Who sets up one good mystery in episode one and then refuses to give it a resolution? Honestly, I thought they were setting Lenore up to be the informant from her conversation in episode one about it and her general Good Person-ness, which logistically wouldn’t have made much sense because of her being a child but would have at least been more satisfying than ‘lmao what informant there is no informant.’

sorry, i think i got a little off-track. i think the show’s main issues all stem from how wedded it is to this framing of roderick’s “confession” and how it forces itself into a non-linear structure. neither of those things really benefitted the story being told. the only thing that probably helped with was that i knew if i wanted to get to the best parts of the show (aka any part that was laser-focused on roderick and madeline together), i had to watch through the… less interesting bits.

#the fall of the house of usher #ask #i am being genuine when i say i love roderick & madeline’s bits though i think they’re rhe strongest part of the show. unironically. #the show really wanted to be a bunch of poe stories tied together thematically but the issue is that the stories themselves. aren’t. and #forcing them to didn’t really work. #and fall of the house of usher is a really really strong story about familial decay and the isolation and destruction that comes with it #something that this adaptation flies in the face of by making the usher family As Large As Fucking Possible #but the core there. the core story that’s buried under all of that. and mostly seen in the horror of how madeline and roderick treat others. #how they both try to kill each other in the end. that! that is still fantastic! poe shines through!

[teeth-draws]

“What do you mean he’s scary!! Look at him!”

— taking artistic liberties to scrunkle the face of @shepherds-of-haven’s Blade Bronwyn - a man with 0.6% body fat lol

#shepherds of haven #if games #blade bronwyn #this is mc privelage at work #hc mcs but especially the ladies are like no he’s fine!! look he’s a lamb!! but if someone else tried this they’d get their wrists broken #being an artist (like being a writer) makes your proclivities rly obvious because in this instance you can tell that I love #babying men who could kickflip me into the sun #picking fights with famed assassins like… wow blade ur so confident for your height! and leave #blade likes girls with good hearts and Halle is not quite that but she IS an efficient worker so she always comes back with the win… #and a bunch of rescued orphans and mages and stuff it’s… not a reflection of her personality but rather her work ethic which even then #is reluctant and put-upon #she didn’t want to be a captain let alone commander she was meant to be using this gang of do-gooders to fulfil her fate and then bounce #but they’re all so wholesome and now she loves them despite her better judgement #and he’s so cute!! with his poetry and plants and the googly-eyed clam he keeps on his desk and talks to about his feelings!! #what’s a girl to do? #there’s only so strong you can be in the face of a man who tells you straight-faced he’d mcfucking die for you #talking the talk and walking the walk even to the most wary of wilderness orphans #as always blade you are a nightmare to draw I lost sleep over your skin tone #my foe of four years aka blade’s left elbow is cunningly hidden #their child would be a serious force of nature and also really tall #fanart #shoh #can you imagine the name? between austere ket names and whack mage names… #these are my parents: blade and halwendi. my name is steele mechanicus and I DONT want to talk about it #just realised that if his brother saw this shit he’d get blade stoned for being a public hussy gosh sorry better make an honest man of him #new blade hairstyle is a shaggy wolfcut bc I think it’s cute on him lmao #this is a really autistic couple honestly #not quite sure where to put his hands #like when you flip a shark upside down

[sea-jello]

Day 27/October 27: Swim || Hide || "I'll just stay inside."

oh my GOD i started and finished this in a day almost NONSTOP i told myself oh it’ll just be a sketch or doodle or something you probably won’t have the time or motivation to do it really detailed and I GOT CARRIED AWAY AND WHAM 5 HOURS GONE

flat plus closeups

i pray cropping the pictures doesn’t crunch them

#i kinda like it actually #i love dramatic contrasting lighting #my goal was to make morro and the deck dark and shadowy and gloomy in contrast to the ninja bright and having fun outside #but i don’t think that really came through #i PRAY it doesn’t desaturate PLEASE #WHY IS IT ALWAYS SO DESATURATED ON MY COMPUTER #i’m not very sure where morro is tbh #beach house?? he’s definitely sitting on a deck or balcony of some sort #the way my brain works is i read the prompt and the idea flashes in my mind clearly but not clear at all #so i have to sit there and unblur the gaps in my mind like ai autofill #all i knew was he was sitting at the side on a deck or balcony or a similar surface elevated above the beach #or maybe hes inside looking out the window but i went with outside #point is we see his back and hes leaning on something #and hes looking out at the ninja having fun in the water #in an ideal world the ninja would be actually drawn and detailed but this is not that world #sorry i didn’t try for zane i had no idea what to do and i needed to spread them out #idk how to draw beaches or water so once again morrotober forcing me to try new things #thats a good thing actually cause it forces me to improve ish #shoutout to the beach palette on hipaint idk what i wouldve done without you #ninjago #lego ninjago #morro ninjago #ninjago morro #morro wu #morrotober #morrotober2023 #morrotober 2023 #i’m not gonna tag the ninja #jellos scribbles

[ssspork]

What if I made something that maybe me cry just a little

#morays story is so sad #like she’s forced to be a parent since she was itty bitty #she never really got to be a kid #stormy weather splatoon #splatoon #art #fan art #octoling #it’s still deep fried🧍‍♀️ #i still dont know how tumblr works #I have no idea what anyone would wear so I just gave them the most basic clothes possible😭 #this is to make up for the fact I didn’t include her in the family post😔

[mrdrhenwardhykle]

If you told Phone Guy you lost your arm during your shift, he would probably say something like “Welcome to adulthood!” Or “Those kind of things happen, you’ll get used to it” like it’s a completely normal thing.

#going back to my FNAF fixation #but Phone Guy is so interesting hear me out #with how he talks and brushes things off he must have been abused or threatened by his work- #in some way for him to shut up and normalize the crazy things that went on #he didn’t even scream or call for help in his last call he just told them to look in the suits #like it was something he knew would happen #people gloss over him because he’s William’s red hearing #but he’s literally glossing over the fact that there was dead kids in the withered so hard in the second game I bet you he knew #he just made excuses for each death which made him suspicious to most but he was totally forced to act like that #probably why the animatronics hunted him #and stored him away in Freddy to be forgotten #kind of like what he did to them-stayed silent and allowed the killer to get away with it #sort of sad because I think he’s hanging on in the first game but nobody bothers to get him out #tbh he seemed more dedicated and ecstatic about raising the company that William or Henry-he's really the true one for that #I think he's the one who made it Freddy Fazbears-because in the original games Fredbear's Diner and Freddy Fazbear's had different owners- #also according to Phone guy GF is Freddy not Fredbear-but that's retconned

[bootay-hole]

i see you rb a lot of ppls ducksonas/ocs and i was wondering if you have one? if so id love to see it !! /nf

seeing this ask made me realise that yes actually, i do have dt ocs. however i forgot about all of them completely agksksjsk

so i looked through my old art to find some art of my forgotten ocs. you’re welcome (or my apologies. it depends)

so first off we have trinity, my OLD DUCKSONA!!! and her magical mentors or something idk. (their names are tilly and tempest. guess who’s who) from what i remember i think these two are like. her two sides but also her older sister figures. at the same time. somehow. idfk know man. also the mentors aren’t real i think they’re like spirits??? they’re the source of magic for this super cool magical double scythe that trinity has (that i didn’t draw)

^ something like this bad boy

idk the lore is confusing i think i’ll have to change it LMAO

yeah so my head already hurts so onto the next ones

next up we have FANKIDSSS bc i’m the most original oc maker on the planet. their names are Jet, Turbo and Rebel (i like the idea of them getting the names Della wanted for her kids) they’re Dewey’s kids (as you can see i transgendered Jet bc i can) there’s also a weblena child lol her name is Seren/Reni i think. she’s a guitarist if i remember correctly. Lena calls her rockstar <3

^ also we have these guys who are llewerius biological kids?? don’t ask me how idk. their names are Emerald (left) and Jade (right) they also have an adopted bear brother named Isaac who i didn’t draw because the thought of drawing bears scared me at the time. i like them tbh i might repurpose them. they’re cute. i’m probably gonna redesign them too cause 💀. yeah

and lastly we have these fuckers: some white girl named Lissy and genderfluid icon Morgan. Lissy is a cheerleader who has a guy best friend i forgot the name of. Morgan is one of those quiet art kids who makes their own clothes. i don’t remember why i made them lol

editing this bc HOW DID I FORGET RAMIZ. LETTER FOR LOUIE GUY

blorbo from my fic (you can read it here if y’all want) nicknamed soup simp bc when i asked my friends who were beta reading my fic for a placeholder name for him they said soup. so. soup guy

yea so i might redesign + repurpose most of these guys so y’all may be seeing them again lol. thank u anon for reminding me about their existence

#tay talks #tay posts #ducktales 2017 #tay’s ocs #i remember being really sad for some reason when i forced myself to abandon the llewerius kids bc i was like #ok this won’t work. ty and louie would NOT be good parents #and i wanted to repurpose them but didn’t know what to do with them so i just ditched them #and then a few months later?? i made ANOTHER llewerius kid named citrine. sigh #tho i didn’t draw her or write down anything so i don’t remember much about her except that her colour was yellow #also jet turbo and rebel were supposed to have a adopted alien sister named ina??? #idk man #ducktales oc #dt17 oc #ducktales 2017 oc #tay’s art #tay draws

[pzos-amiserableidiot]

was watching tiktok and a video had the song michael in the bathroom playing and I was vicerally reminded of being in middle and high school and mom always mentioning how much I looked like my dad (his name is michael) and how I slowly was able to start noticing it too and whenever I sang the song it reminded me of him and I felt like we were overlapping too often felt like id never be anyone but a shadow or his mirror and then i began learning i was trans and now the song makes me think of him even more (he’s not a bad dad he tells me he’s proud of me and stuff there’s just two really big moments he unknowingly failed and one long continuous one but he loves me and he’s proud and he supports me and he didn’t mean it and ive learned to make that enough) and the weird flashback I got when I heard that song and overlapping with his face and how if I transitioned I almost fear I’d be his clone and yeah Anywyas banger song

#the moments were that time he told me how he used to want something to be wrong with him and he’d cut himself to try and prove something was #and he showed me his incredibly faint scars and this was after I told them I was depressed and his solution was to tell me he faked it???? #and didn’t even see anything wrong or worrying that he’d cut himself or was self destructive or wished something was wrong so he’d have #something to blame for being the way he was and like DAD THATS DEPRESSION but I was too numb and shocked and felt so so so betrayed becuase #it felt mocking at the time like his way of comforting me. his child. was to fucking show me his scars and be like I faked it so I know #it’s real and sorry I don’t understand WTF DAD #Other time was when he gave me his phone to play Pokémon go and I betrayed his trust (he didn’t like anyone going through his phone) and #went looking through and found Grindr and saw some shirtless photos and people messaging before I left #dad had a shirtlesss photo on there. and I had to pretend everything was fine and erase the evidence and give the phone back and help look #for furniture for our new house and never tell mom cause she’s been through so much already (I really shouldn’t have known I wasn’t her #therapist but this is about daddy issues right now not the mommy ones) so anyways I never told him and years later he told me his friends #signed him up for Grindr as a prank and to make friends and that’s why he thinks someone from his work I pranking him by signing him up #for a gay furry dating site and yet I saw him on his bed sometimes messaging people and yeah #oh and the long continous one was not divorcing mom and defending her saying she loves us when she rejected me and my sister for being trans #and being gone for most of my childhood working and never understanding the fucked up dynamic of home that took place and resenting him for #ruining the perfect routine (sharp words scary feelings always wanting to cry) #anyways michael in the bathroom always gives me weird feelings #cause I hate and love my dad and I looked up to him so much and loooking like him would’ve been a dream but sometiems the wrongs he did #come back haunt my thoughts and I want to scratch and tear apart every feature that makes me look like him. I look nothing like my mom so #there’s nothing physical to tear apart (I just act like her sometimes and have to force myself not the throw up and attack myself from the #disgust)

[pepprs]

beaver gnawing on wood noises

#purrs #delete later #this is gonna be a bad / hard post and i’ll have to delete it. like it feels like in making it im invoking cosmic forces to show me karma or #idk like being an ingrate or whatever. but sometimes i find myself on social media rabbitholes looking at instagram pages of.. women who #like really genuinely appear to be good moms to their kids. and love them for who they are and don’t try to make them anything different. #and who celebrate their quirks and stuff. and even share interests with them at the bare minimum. and it just makes me want to sob. like the #knot in my throat. i shouldn’t do it bc i just hurt myself but it’s like. im so lucky i have a mom and that she provides for me. and i know #there are valid reasons for that being all she can do. but also why can’t she… idk.why can’t she ummm love me. or celebrate me. or find #magic in me. or at the very least accept my humanness and be open to me like giving her feedback on stuff. even tonight at this panel this o #one woman was like yeah my two daughters call me on stuff and im like you’re right. if i called my mom on stuff (and i do) she would give me #the silent treatment (and she has) or eviscerate me (and she has). and people in my work life and on here call me endearing and say all #these things. but it’s like none of it can fill up the absolute aching pulsing void that is… my mom. my mom!!!!! is just a person i live #with anr resent most of the time. who has hurt me so badly. and i could have had a mom who like. let me sing and didn’t mock me for it. #and who came in and said goodnight to me and my sister instead of leaving us to o ur own devices because we’re twins and we had each other. #and 14 years ago today was the day that fully cemented in that she could not be that kind of mom and would never be. and i know she tried so #hard and i know she has been hurt and is still hurting. but i just want to scream. like everyone deserves a mom who loves them for who they #are and shit. and how fucking unfair is it that.. like it sounds so selfish and entitled. b it how fucking unfair is it that i got a mom who #im afraid of and then there are people like fucking… m*lissa err*co and sh*ron wh*atley (those are just the famous ones) who by all #appearances seem to be like.. not only loving but open. seeing their children as human and magic all at once. instead of a war prize and a #symbol of their own hardships or whatever. like it’s just so fucking unfair. i hate that this is the way things are for me and that it will #never change and that if it ever does i have to be the one to change it or i have to heal from it and let go of it. like FUCK that! i want #love from my mom! FUCK the fact that she can’t give it to me!!! she has to!!!!!! but she won’t. idk. delete post <3 #like so genuinely i should not be even typing these words bc god is gonna smite me now lol. but my heart is howling #and the shitty thing is i don’t think i’ll be able to be that kind of mom if i ever become one bc of how badly all of this has hurt me. and #bc of all that i don’t even think i want to become a mom anymore bc i don’t want to be the reason a child feels this way or grows up to.

[gandreida]

hheeeuuurrgghppbbtttt

#my dad messaged me today sayin’ he hopes to see me soon and it honestly ruined my day luke #like please leave me alone :////// #then some general normal Every Day BS happened at work and I just had to dip I almost walked off the job no word to my sups #Just makes me think of my mom which #i feel more justified after it I guess ‘cause she’s the one who allegedly approves the messages her husband sent me when we had our fight #tbh life is better w/o her messaging me daily like I spent basically all of 2023 #wanting to cut her off and she gave me even the lightest reason to do it so i did and it’s been nice #the pointless guilt I felt for not wanting to see my family has turned into general resentment and annoyance #i don’t even miss her or him like I straight up just don’t want to see my blood relatives they’re not family to me they’re just people #i happen to share genes with like if you really wanted to build a relationship with the person #you forced into this stupid world then maybe you shouldn’t have been such insufferable assholes for the first 18 years #i spent most of my conversations with them over the phone last year basically just saying life sucks and that i want to kill myself #I need them to feel bad for conceiving me i need them to regret it #my cousin Aaron has the right idea tbh like last I heard he wasn’t talking to my uncle or anyone w/ blood relations really #following in his footsteps. I legit just got so full of rage and frustration when my dad messaged me it’s been like 3 weeks since we spoke #it was so obvious that I didn’t like my mom growing up everyone knew it and berated me for it like how am i supposed to accept that? #How am I supposed to take the hate and anger she exhibit and put out there in that unhappy home #and turn the hate and anger her and her family felt towards me for not loving her #and turn that into love? How am I supposed to turn unending anger and hatred and bitterness and just be like ‘yeah i love you’ #I love my parents in the sense that I am familiar w/ them and they have had a constant presence in my life up this point and when I was like #8y/o I had some pretty good times w/ my dad that were DIRECTLY related to my mom being out of the house #my mom was just so abusive to that man for 20+ years #and he took the love I had for him and made me hate him by just shoving jesus down my throat #We used to have CONVERSATIONS he & I but then he got his head stuck so far up his ass that he couldn’t see #how he was just ruining everything. Me: Hey so this thing thats goin on? #him: haha yeah that thing thats been goin on!! You know what tho #[starts pitching JC to me again] #that was all I could get from him from 12-18/19 #he killed whatever relationship we had together and now it’s a decade later and I have no interest in talking to him #I don’t care to try and rebuild. I don’t want to rebuild anything with him I don’t want him to want that either

[spectralarrovv]

i think the jedi critique that pisses me off the most is the notion that the jedi were evil and uncaring for not upending slavery…

using qui-gon’s situation with anakin and his mom (and the entirety of the slave ring run by the hutts) shouldn’t be a criticism of the jedi, it’s about the republic. even at this time before the heart of the clone wars, the jedi are under the complete mercy of the republic. every action taken by a jedi must be a reflection of the will of the republic, which is not of fault of their own but of the corruption already buried from the presence and sway of the sith.

attempting to enact an upheaval of slavery in the outer rim from under the hutts would be against the political agenda of the senate and the chancellor and therefore is something the jedi have no power to do. even before palpatine is elected, the jedi are at the mercy of the republic.

the critique should not be on how the jedi’s actions are forced into a mold by the corruption of the senate, the fault lies in the way the jedi are extorted and used by the galaxys highest political power, which then continues on until the jedi’s devised genocide by that very same corrupt power.

yeah, the jedi not being able to enforce peace and freedom is fucked up, it betrays who they are to their core, and it’s all purposeful and enacted through the grip they’re caught in under the republic.

#people really blame the jedi for not having the personal autonomy to help others… like yeah it’s horrible but not for the reason you think #in a perfect world the jedi would ensure the freedom of all living beings but obviously their world isn’t perfect they’re trapped- #-in a corrupt system that’s planning their downfall for decades #*holds the jedi order in my palms gently* i will protect you #also don’t even get me started on the notion that people think the jedi are slavers for working with the clone army #like baby if the clones are slaves to the republic THEN SO ARE THE JEDI #they were 2 groups forced into fighting an unwinnable war for a corrupt government #the jedi didn’t even commission the clones to be made they didn’t even KNOW it was all planned by (big shock here) PALPATINE #anyways that’s a whole other rant #like there’s genuine criticisms to be made of the jedi but this isn’t one of them!! #or when people call jedi cops… if you do that i hope you die #sw #star wars #the jedi order #the jedi council #qui-gon jinn #sheev palpatine #sw meta #? am i using that word right #also sorry for weird formatting im on my phone and i’m lazy i can’t make text posts look nice #but i did actually space them out this time usually it’s just one big wall of text

[ciaraloves]

people who have no ambition scare me. and I don’t mean “you don’t want to be a millionaire and own three companies and be a real estate mogul oh my god get away from me how dare you”

I mean you don’t want to do anything to make your future self happy and comfortable? you don’t want to study? fine studying isn’t for everyone. you don’t want to work in corporate or retail or in a “job space”? fine that isn’t for everyone.

but you don’t even want to find something to do? no come on. not volunteer? fund yourself to travel? literally just own an apartment or a house some day? take up an activity just to see if you like it? cook and or bake because how good are you at it really? start painting and see what mess you can make?

you love animals but you hate to study? maybe try volunteering at an animal shelter and seeing what connections you can make. I don’t know bro why don’t you want to make yourself fall in love with doing stuff?

like capitalism is awful and the need to have money to do anything is completely overwhelming but the fact that you don’t WANT to do anything? that’s terrifying.

#sorry I’m just ranting #please ignore this I really am not trying to make anyone feel bad! #this espeiclaly doesn’t apply to neurodivergenr and disabled people who are fighting a million battles every day that no one else can see #I really am just #I have a friend….person I know🤕…… who doesn’t want to do anything #and it’s like??????? #like I want to keep furthering my education #my brother wants to play soccer so he works fucking hard at it #my dad who didn’t get a college degree has done a million different certifications for his field so he’s always on top of things #he hates to study but he wanted to be good and compete et at his job #I’m not saying force yourself to do what you hate in order to start doing something you love #im just saying find something you love or can tolerate at least and just try to get into it ? #am I being rude and awful ? #ugh I don’t know! I feel so unempthatic and mean when I say things like this #because I’m like ‘ciara you don’t know what battles people are facing so stop telling them what to do’ #but I honestly don’t mean this in a ‘everyone should want to work and attempt wealth gain’ kind of way #I mean this in a ‘you have to find something you like to do and learn to do it so that you can give your futures self that joy & security’ #fndjlaldpndlwkdmqlqjw just ignore me I’m fine I’m cool I’m fine #ciara’s convos #ciara’s therapist corner

[lifeisablackhole9]

should i watch lord of the rings?

#i watched it a couple times when i was little #but i was like half forced to watch it #so i didn’t pay any attention #and also this was before i got glasses #and before we knew i needed them #so i couldn’t really see the screen either #so most of it was not absorbed #but like it’s right up my ally now #and with it being slow at work ive got some free time #🤷🏻

[ilsafaaust]

.

#okay so I’ve finished my gg rewatch (absolutely flew through it) so many thoughts #I first started watching whilst s6 aired so I reckon I was like 13 or so? and I’ve rewatched a couple times since but it’s been a while #I didn’t realise how much my opinions on it would change so excuse the rambling #I remember hating jenny/vanessa/ivy as characters and honestly this time around I didn’t really ‘hate’ anyone #I thought all the characters were pretty insufferable at points and unlikeable in certain storylines and what not #the only characters I properly hated were william and bart just because they had no redeeming qualities whatsoever #don’t even get me STARTED on the finale lol #chuck and blair really were the only couple who seemed to have a ending deserving of their arc #although rewatching it I actually didn’t mind dan and blair at all so I really wouldn’t have minded who she ended up with but chuck is the #logical choice as their stories always came back to each other #I will die on the hill that says it should have been rufly and serenate #I think everyone agrees that derena s1 was adorable and they worked but once they broke up idk they wrapped it up nicely and left them open #to continue to grow by themselves/with others #them ending up together felt forced rushed and unnecessary #I really disliked teen blair (lol don’t crucify me) #she clearly had issues and what not but I’d forgotten just how bad the bitchiness was #idk maybe it just reminds me of too many people I knew in school and was uncomfy to watch at times #I think lily might be my fave character? #I never thought I’d say that but she bought just the right amount of bitch class and entertainment #and I hate how much they butchered her character in late s5/6 #the CHOICES she made were incorrect #she never would’ve picked bart over rufus (she was legit ending her marriage to bart in s2 to be with rufus?) #the only way she would’ve would’ve been to spite rufus but for her to bart first over chuck? absolutely not #and to insinuate she ended up with WILLIAM?! a travesty x #s6 serena was also not it (don’t get me started on the sex tape) #I forgot how much of a player nate was too haha #but yes many thoughts and feelings but was good fun and I’d forgot just how easy a watch it was #okay ramble over love y’all

[evansbby]

literally no judgement just curious as someone who struggles with a lot of religious guilt- how did you feel about writing smut during ramadan? or is eid more of a cultural celebration for you?

uh so i’ve been writing/reading smut for really long and when i was younger i used to feel religious guilt but then i got over it bc religion is something very personal, between me and god and idk, sex/smut is a very natural thing?

#i didn’t really fast that much this Ramadan either #sometimes i don’t feel it #please and this is a judgement free zone #i just feel like there’s no point fasting unless you feel it bc why are you forcing it? #last year i really felt it and kept all of them bc it was super spiritual idek #this year… idk maybe stress or whatever i just couldn’t keep all of them #anyways my family isn’t that religious #well they are but they’re okay with us kids just figuring stuff out and doing our own thing #and religious guilt is something i really wanna unlearn and have been working towards doing for very long #bc I think religion is meant to be about love acceptance and something beautiful #and not guilt #this is personal though like my personal belief not talking for everyone #tw religion #anon

[ghosthart]

i havent dressed how i want to becuz of money not allowing me to buy types of clothes i want and not wanting to buy cheap alternatives that will fall apart anyways and depression keeping me from having the energy to put away my mountain of dirty and clean clothes just mixed together on the floor so i just wear sweatpants and t shirts or sweaters and stopped doing my makeup too so now that i have the semi-motivation to dress and style myself how i want to and am making a little more money to afford it i’m afraid to cuz ppl might act like it’s just a random thing i started doing and that i’m a 22 yr old trying to emulate trendy teenagers or something like as if i haven’t always wanted to dress well there’s just a huge bag of issues why i haven’t and now that i want to and can i’m scared of feeling strange and out of place :/

#like 1 i’ve always had self esteem issues #genuinely hate the way i look so i’ve always felt i’m not worthy for whatever style i liked #like i couldn’t do it justice and would just be made fun of for being ugly trying to look good #and 2 my mom never wanted to buy me new clothes or anything really like ever #i literally had the same underwear i had in elementary school all the way into early high school #and if i begged her to buy me underwear she would throw a fit and make me feel like i’m forcing her to waste money and then get me the most #cheap and uncomfortable kind she could find #also would never buy me training bras even tho i started developing faster than my peers and have naturally larger chest but she just gave #me some random cropped camisole top thing that did nothing #and i only had the one so it was always dirty cuz can’t waste water just washing one thing 🙄 #also makeup i had to steal her makeup when i really wanted to be a scene kid lol but that is understandable #and 3 i started having zero energy junior year like couldn’t do my makeup anymore or wear anything besides leggings and hoodie #i would basically just be late to school cuz i slept in be falling asleep all day in class #then either go home and watch a movie and fall asleep early or go to work until 11pm and start over the next day LOL #so i didn’t look like i cared #like even if i tell ppl i’m a different person on the inside they still label me as someone who doesn’t care what they look like #like ppl constantly when i go shopping with them or at work looking at makeup i say oh i kinda want this they’re like but u don’t wear #makeup??? #like ok remember when i wore full face hair done in middle school and early high school like -_- #idk i just let me dépression destroy my entire personality for many years and i feel motivated now to do come back to myself #but i feel nervous cuz i don’t like drawing attention to myself so that’s why i’m venting ok bye

[foldingfittedsheets]

Something that literally changed my life was working with a friend on a coding thing. He was helping me create an auto rig script and was trying to explain something to me but his words were just turning into static in my brain. I was tired and confused and there was so many new concepts happening.

I could feel myself working toward a crying meltdown and was getting preemptively ashamed of what was about to happen when he said, “Hey, are you someone who benefits from breaks?”

It broke me.

Did I benefit from breaks? I didn’t know. I’d never taken them.

When a problem frustrated or upset me I just gritted my teeth and plowed through the emotional distress because eventually if you batter and flail at something long enough you figure it out. So what if you get bruised on the way.

I viscerally remembered in that moment being forced to sit at the table late into the night with my dad screaming at me, trying to understand math. I remembered taking that with me into adulthood and having breakdowns every week trying to understand coding. I could have taken a break? Would it help? I didn’t know! I’d never taken one!

“Yes,” I told him. We paused our call. I ate lunch. I focused on other stuff for half an hour. I came back in a significantly better state of mind, and the thing he’d been trying to explain had been gently cooking in the back of my head and seemed easier to understand.

Now when I find myself gritting my teeth at problems I can hear his gentle voice asking if I benefit from breaks. Yes, dear god, yes why did I never get taught breaks? Why was the only way I knew to keep suffering until something worked?

I was relating to this same friend recently my roadtrip to the redwoods with my wife. “We stopped every hour or so to get out and stretch our legs and switch drivers. It was really nice. When I was a kid we’d just drive twelve hours straight and not stop for anything, just gas. We’d eat in the car and power through.”

He gave a wry smile, immediately connecting the mindset of my parents on a road trip to what they’d instilled in me about brute forcing through discomfort. “Do you benefit from breaks?” he echoed, drawing my attention to it, making me smile with the same sad acknowledgement.

Take breaks. You’re allowed. You don’t have to slam into problems over and over and over, let yourself rest. It will get easier. Take. Breaks.

#ramblies #advice #take breaks