#gonna label this as zero trio because i can | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hermannsthumb · 3 years

Note

from that autumn prompt list, "you should totally get that costume" a la Hermann looking at a scandalous clad costume...

okay so i LOST the prompt list this was from but it's out there somewhere. anyway, sexy stuff below the cut, no kids allowed!!!! set ambiguously post-movie

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"Not a very wide selection, is there?" Hermann says.

Newt rolls his eyes, and pokes through the last few pitiful costumes hanging on the pitiful costume rack with more aggression than the act strictly calls for. This is the humiliation they're being subjected to, and all because Hermann wouldn't go out costume shopping with Newt until the last week of October: the clearance section at an off-brand Spirit Halloween. The rejects. What no one else wants, and what Newt and Hermann probably won't want, either. "Yeah," Newt says, flipping past a 70s Flower Child in Adult Extra-Small, "no shit. That's what you get when you wait until the last minute."

"I am sorry about last week," Hermann says. "You're not still angry, are you?"

Newt flips past a Child Medium pirate costume marked with a bright green MISSING PARTS sticker. "No," he says, unconvincingly. He's really not mad, because it would be dumb to be mad about stuff like Halloween costumes, but he does still kinda want Hermann to feel bad. Old habits die hard. Also, he was kinda looking forward to the costume shopping date they had planned before Hermann bailed on him because he had too many student assignments to mark. So boring. That's why Newt opted out of academia to work at a sick-ass aquarium instead—fewer twenty-somethings, more sharks, and absolutely zero grading. Mostly it was for the sharks.

"I really was very busy," Hermann says.

"Uh-huh," Newt says. He plucks a large foam ketchup bottle costume off a hanger and holds it up to Hermann. "What do you think?" he says. "Matching condiments? There's probably a mustard bottle here too." They can post a picture on Instagram, it'll be degrading but everyone will think it's super cute, happy ending.

"Relish," Hermann says.

Newt frowns. "Relish?"

Hermann pulls out a matching green foam costume. Weird. Maybe it's a trio costume, and people just already bought out all the mustards. Newt can't really account for the discrepancy of there only being leftover ketchup and relish, though. Who would go solo as a mustard bottle? "That's so lame," Newt declares.

The annoying part is that it's not even a Halloween party he's technically been invited to, but he's gotta worry about looking cool anyway—it's Hermann's departmental party, and Newt is attending only in the capacity of Hermann's Plus One-Slash-Partner. Not that Hermann would ever call Newt his partner. Hermann remains eternally allergic to expressing his emotions, which usually Newt can deal with, until he's stuck explaining to the moderately happily-wedded spouses at the punch bowl that he and Dr. Gottlieb don't really do labels. It made for an awkward start of semester barbecue on the quad. "So, so lame," Newt says. He shoves the relish costume far out of sight. "Let's just bail and pull something together at home. We could just be mad scientists or something,." Zero effort. Newt is already halfway to being one as is.

Hermann hums, clearly not pleased at the suggestion, but not outright telling Newt so. Hermann has made a discernible effort at being less argumentative lately. Unfortunately, this means that his passive-aggressiveness has skyrocketed, and Newt has to hear are you quite sure, Newton? and hmmm, only you may want to reconsider three times a day. Newt prefers the arguing. "Hmm," Hermann says. "There is still another section at the back. We ought to at least look before we commit to something—regrettable."

"I'm telling you, there's gonna be nothing," Newt warns him, but trails after him anyway.

Until Hermann stops in his tracks, that is.

"I was wrong," he says quickly. "You were—correct. There's nothing. No, don't—" He turns and does a bad job of blocking Newt's line of sight with his shoulders, and Newt shakes off the hand he lays on his arm with no small amount of glee. "Er. I don't—I don't think any of this will be of interest to us. Let's—"

"Uh, I think it absolutely will be," Newt says with a broad grin. "I didn't know there was an adult section."

Newt tears off in the direction of the sauciest-looking aisle while Hermann clacks frantically after him. If Newt could even get Hermann into one of these, a single one of these, he thinks he could die a happy man. He's not even picky over which one. "Newton," Hermann says as Newt begins to rifle through the costumes with glee, "you do realize that this—this is for a departmental party. With my colleagues. I simply cannot show up to a departmental party as a bloody—" He bats his cane at a costume package that's fallen on the floor. "—Sex Kitten."

Newt lunges for it. He hadn't seen that one, but suddenly Hermann dressing up in cat ears and black lace is absolutely imperative. "Sex Kitten? Hermann, please. Please, dude."

"Newton—"

"Please," Newt says.

"No," Hermann says.

"Sexy maid," Newt says, desperately. "I won't even make you carry the feather duster. It's the least you can do for forcing me to small talk with your colleagues all night long."

Hermann grits his teeth, and then begins to work his jaw back and forth like he's chewing on a piece of gum, or maybe a large rock. He shakes his head. His glasses bounce on his chest. "Newton," he says. He shakes his head again. "Newton, even if you do manage to somehow—coerce me into buying one of these awful things, it will certainly not be for the party. It will be for our own private enjoyment once the party is over. It will never see the light of day. Do you understand?"

"Uh-huh," Newt says.

"It would be for just the two of us," Hermann says.

"Uh-huh," Newt says.

"I would not even permit you to take any photographs of me," Hermann says. "Do you understand?"

"So that's a yes?" Newt says.

The tips of Hermann's ears go red, and he clears his throat. "Er," he says. "This one—" He picks up a Naughty Nurse costume, a little number of a white dress, white stockings, white gloves, and a dumb little hat. "This one is in my...size."

Newt wonders at what point Hermann figured out his size range for miniskirts and fishnets, and at what other point he memorized that size range in order to drop it out of the blue on unsuspecting biologists. Newt also wonders what Hermann would look like in miniskirts and fishnets. He wonders about this for several long seconds, and in such detail, in fact, that he forgets to say anything, leaving Hermann to stare at him in obvious mortification until Newt can come to his senses. "You should get that one," he says, too loudly. His mouth is dry. "Um. You should absolutely get that, that costume, dude. Uh. I think—that it would really, really good on you."

"Hm," Hermann says, and his forehead creases in thought, but the barest hint of a smile flickers across his face. "Where are the dressing rooms?"

If anyone thinks it's weird for two grown-ass men to be going into a single changing room together, no one says anything. As they shouldn't. It's none of their business, really, Newt thinks. And anyway, it's not like Newt and Hermann are doing anything unseemly—Hermann really does need to try on the Naughty Nurse costume, and Newt is being very chivalrous and respectful and staring at the wall instead of watching Hermann strip, which takes more effort than anything he's ever done before in his life.

"You're more than welcome to watch," Hermann says. "It's nothing you haven't seen before."

"I have never seen you in shit like that before," Newt says. He peeks out from under his hand, just a little, and catches a glimpse of a sleeve slipping over a sexy, pale shoulder blade in the mirror. Oh, boy.

"You know what I mean," Hermann says. Newt grins, and then Hermann nudges his boot with his cane. "Be darling and help me with the zipper?" he says.

Newt does, but he takes much longer with it than strictly necessary, and makes sure to skim his fingertips across Hermann's bare skin until Hermann is shivering and biting his lower lip. The end result is fucking unreal: Hermann in a teeny-tiny little white dress, supermodel legs (because Hermann does have supermodel legs) encased in fishnets, the stupid little hat cocked atop his head, the gloves pulled up to the middle of his forearms. It's a little baggy, because all of Hermann's clothes are baggy on him, but God, Newt couldn't care less.

He pushes Hermann against the wall and sticks his hands up the skirt before Hermann can even look at himself in the mirror.

"Newton, please," Hermann says, but he barely stifles his laughter when Newt squeezes his adorably flat ass, "We can't do this sort of thing here."

"I blew you in a bathroom once," Newt says into Hermann's neck. "Same difference." He did, and it was pretty hot—Hermann was accepting some award thing, and he looked so good in his suit (even if it was ill-fitting) that Newt pretended to spill their fancy complementary dinner on it for the excuse to drag him off to "clean it up". Hermann totally has a thing for public sex, even if he denies it.

"But I wasn't—oh—" Newt sticks his hand up the leg of Hermann's boxers. "I wasn't wearing bloody—unpaid merchandise."

"Don't worry," Newt says. "We are absolutely paying for this."

Hermann is a good sport, and gladly lets Newt stick his hand up the front of the stupid little dress, too. "This makes your pecs look really good," Newt says, groping them happily, while Hermann makes a series of small hiccoughing moans. Newt presses a kiss to Hermann's throat. One of these days he'll get brave enough to ask Hermann if he can rub off on his chest. That would be so hot. "Oh, Nurse Gottlieb, I really need some help..."

"What can—can I, er, assist you with?" Hermann says.

Hermann always stumbles his way through dirty talk and roleplaying (the latter occasion occuring only very occasionally), but it is honestly very cute and hotter than it would be if he was skilled at it, so Newt just lets it slide. Newt isn't exactly skilled either. "My dick is broken," he says, because it's the first thing that comes to his mind.

Hermann laughs out loud. "Newton."

"My dick is just broken, nurse," Newt says. He blinks sadly at Hermann and gives a little pinch at his thigh just under his ass. "Can you help me?"

Hermann nudges him backwards with his cane, and, grinning dopily, Newt goes until he feels his back pressing up against the cool surface of the mirror. Then Hermann parts Newt's legs with two gentle pats of his cane at Newt's calves and steps in the middle of them. The fabric of his skirt crinkles. "I might be able to," Hermann says. "How is it broken? We ought to do a very thorough investigation." He reaches for Newt's belt, and works his gloved hand down beneath the waistband of his jeans to press at him gently. "Can you feel this, Dr. Geiszler?"

"Yeah," Newt moans.

Hermann's pressing turns to rubbing. His glove makes a small whooshing sound against the fabric of Newt's briefs. "Mm, or this?" he says. Newt likes when Hermann gets bold, since it almost always works out to his advantage. It's definitely working out to his advantage now. "Do you feel this on your lovely little prick?"

"Yeah," Newt moans again, and then says, "Wait, little?"

Hermann nips at the stubbly skin of Newt's jaw, and then licks over the teeth marks, turning Newt's legs to jelly so fast he has to grab at the wall to keep from melting to the floor in a puddle. "I believe I'll need proper lubrication in order to continue my examination," Hermann says. "As I said, we must be quite thorough."

"Hng," Newt says.

Hermann gives him a squeeze through his briefs. "Proper lubrication," he repeats.

"Oh, right," Newt says.

He and Hermann got into the habit ages ago of stuffing the inner pockets of Newt's leather jacket with condoms and tiny little packets of lube, just in case they have an emergency and can't access their usual stock. And also because Hermann is kind of a horny dude and sometimes won't even wait for Newt to walk the two feet to their bedroom to get their shit because he just absolutely has to have Newt right that instant. While Hermann continues to make a purple mess of his jaw, Newt digs around in his pockets blindly and stuffs a few packets of lube into Hermann's hand.

Newt grinds at Hermann's thigh; Hermann makes no move to open the lube.

"Er," he finally says. He squints at his palm skeptically. "Newton. I know we have been doing more...experimenting, lately, but I daresay that putting Taco Bell sauce on your genitals would be a rather uncomfortable experience. For both of us."

"Oops," Newt says. He really needs to organize his pockets better, but they also really should start packaging Fire Sauce differently. It's an easy mistake to make. "Sorry, that was from lunch yesterday. Can I have that back? I was saving it. Thanks."

After double-checking to make sure Newt handed him the right thing, Hermann tears open the little packet and squirts lube on his gloved hand. A second later, that hand is sneaking back down Newt's pants. "Shit, dude," Newt moans, curling up instinctively on the toes of his boots. He and Hermann have messed around with gloves before (which is to say, Hermann has a weird thing for Newt in his full proper biologist gear and an embarrassing amount of Newt's PPDC-issued work gloves went towards that—and inside of Hermann—back in the day), but these are an unfamiliar, cheap kind of faux-satin that he's never felt before. At least not on his dick. (Though, to be fair, that could be said for most things.) "That feels—ha—that feels really, really g-good—"

"Get on your knees," Hermann murmurs in his ear.

"Okay," Newt squeaks.

He drops down obediently, belt jingling, jeans and briefs sliding down around his thighs, and feels his knees hit someone's discarded superhero costume. Hermann nudges his chin up with the brass handle of his cane, then caresses his cheek gently with his slick, gloved hand (which is kinda gross, to be honest, but kinda hot too). Newt flicks his tongue out when Hermann's thumb grazes his bottom lip. From here, he has a perfect view up Hermann's stupid little skirt and his oversized pair of boxers, and it takes everything Newt has to not plant his face in them. "Are you," Newt says, and clears his throat. "Are you gonna use your, um, tongue depressor?"

"Mm," Hermann says. He smiles at Newt indulgently. "And if you're a good boy about it, I may even give you a reward."

The last place Newt expected to have several uncomfortable kink revelations was on the grimy floor of a public dressing room, but he's also kind of hard-pressed to think of the appropriate place to have them. Then Hermann begins to tug down his boxers and Newt stops giving a shit about any of that. "Okay," Newt says again, and moans pathetically when Hermann's boxers hit the floor. He steadies himself with a hand on Hermann's stockinged leg. The fishnets feel flimsy enough to rip right in two if Newt gave them a good, hard tug. "Okay, um, that sounds—awesome."

"Hush," Hermann says, so Newt does.

"Toss that bloody thing in the garbage, will you?" Hermann declares when they get home. "It's beyond ruined."

They paid for the costume, despite the fact that Newt is pretty sure the strongest bleach in the world couldn't make a dent in those stains, because it would be a dick move if they didn't. He tosses it into the trash can without argument. Besides—Newt planned ahead and snuck a plan b costume onto the checkout counter while Hermann was too busy pretending he had no idea who Newt was or why on earth he was purchasing a sexy nurse costume. He pulls his back-up out of the shopping bag now and waves it at Hermann. "Good thing I planned ahead," he says. "You wanna be my Sex Kitten tonight, dude?"

"No," Hermann says, but then flushes, and says, "Er. Perhaps tomorrow night."

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag #not sfw ///

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lardguz · 3 years

Text

Panic in the Pantry

So I've been really into Ze//ro Esca//pe lately, and I noticed there was like, no weight gain writing for the series, probably because the games themselves are pretty serious most of the time. But I'm gay and a loser so I wrote a thing of Si//gma trying to solve the Pantry escape room by eating everything in sight!

A tall, muscular young man stood in a hallway in front of a door flanked by two other people: another tall young guy who was much thinner and lankier than the first one and was wearing a ridiculous circus ringleader getup, and a short, skinny girl with white hair. The three of them stared at the door in front of them, which had the word “Pantry” being projected from the front of it somehow. The three of them were just one third of the people in this facility as far as they knew, and they were being forced to play something called “The Nonary Game Ambidex Edition” by someone called Zero. The tall muscular man named Sigma and the other half of his bracelet pair, the small girl named Phi, had teamed up with the blonde man in the top hat named Dio, and opened one of the chromatic doors to proceed to the next round of the game. This had led them to the hallway they were currently in, facing the door to what was apparently going to be a pantry.

Sigma turned to his two teammates and motioned towards the door. “So, this place has a pantry. You think that means there were people living here before this game started?”

Phi rolled her eyes and responded in complete deadpan. “No, I think they were just expecting us to be here for a while, Sigma. Of course people were living here. Who else would have built this place?”

“I dunno, they have an AI rabbit in the main computer, who’s to say if this place isn’t run by robots or something?” Sigma retorted. He crossed his muscular arms and glared down at the white-haired girl, who was staring right back at him, unflinching. Dio placed a hand on each of their shoulders and spoke in his usual slow, condescending voice. “All right, all right, settle down you two. We don’t have time for lover’s quarrels right now, remember? We gotta find the key cards for the Ambidex Gate. So let’s get a move on, okay?” Sigma and Phi grumbled in reluctant agreement, and Sigma moved to open the door.

What greeted the trio was a room filled with walls and walls of drawers, each one meticulously labeled with which foods it contained within. The three of them immediately set about examining each drawer. “This is… a lot of food,” Phi whispered as she checked another drawer. “Why did they stockpile so much of it, do you think?”

“Probably so they could keep building this fucked-up murder game without having to make constant trips to the grocery store or something.” Dio responded, pulling out a container of spaghetti from the drawer he was checking. He looked at it with a hint of disgust on his face. “Urgh, it’s all prepackaged food though. The kinda shit that’s loaded with preservatives and stuff to make it last forever. This shit is so unhealthy. Whoever built this place must be a total fatass after living off this for God knows how long.”

Sigma paused as he opened a drawer of udon stir fry bowls. “Wait. Maybe this food isn’t for Zero.”

Phi looked up at him, raising one eyebrow inquisitively. “What do you mean, Sigma?”

He grabbed one of the bowls of udon and ripped open the packaging. Sigma grabbed a noodle with his bare hand and dropped it into his waiting mouth, and spoke as he chewed. “Well, if th’scape room’sh a pantry, maybe th’ puzzle’sh gotta involve thish food!” He swallowed and continued explaining himself. “I mean, why else would one of the escape rooms be a pantry? We probably have to eat a certain amount of the food here to unlock the door or something!” The dark haired man reached his hand into the udon bowl again and grabbed more noodles to eat as Dio and Phi stared at him incredulously.

Phi sighed heavily and went back to searching the room herself, but Dio was laughing too hard to continue doing much of anything. “Hahahaha, holy shit, Sigma, you’re a damn genius! You got this whole game all figured out, huh?” The blonde man’s voice was dripping with sarcasm, but Sigma didn’t care. He was convinced he was right, and so he kept eating his udon stoically. When he finished the first bowl, he reached into the drawer and grabbed another, and another, until he’d cleared it out entirely. When Sigma straightened up to open the next drawer, he felt his middle wobble slightly, and he looked down. His stomach stuck out just a little bit, a nice coating of soft fat just beginning to form over his formerly toned abs. Shaking his head, Sigma opened the drawer anyways, reasoning with himself that if this was the solution to the puzzle, he could sacrifice his muscles for now. Plus there was probably a weight loss antidote as a reward in the safe! He grabbed the packages of curry from the drawer he opened and kept eating, trying his best to ignore his gradually growing waistline.

After an hour in the pantry, Phi and Dio had turned up no hints to solving the puzzle themselves. Sigma also hadn’t encountered any hints, but what he had done was clear out six whole drawers of provisions, and it showed. His outfit, once baggy and poorly fitting, now clung to his new chubby body, accentuating every roll and fold. His blue button-up shirt rode up on his torso, no longer able to be tucked into his matching pants whatsoever. The buttons were beginning to strain against his growing gut, and the short sleeves dug into his fat upper arms. The waistband of his pants was clearly straining as well, his belly and hips oozing over the top of it to form a plush muffin top. His thickening thighs and calves caused the fabric of his pants to look like an overstuffed piping bag, and his ass, which had already been pretty round and desirable before, was starting to feel like it would burst out of his painfully tight pants at any moment.

Sigma had to sit down for a moment to rest, all this ravenous eating tiring out the young man immensely. He sat with his belly in his lap, rubbing it slowly to try and ease off some of the discomfort from his ever-tightening clothes, when suddenly he felt a hard slap on his fat ass from behind. He yelped in surprise and whipped around to see Dio grinning mischievously.

“Now, now, Sigma, c’mon! We don’t have time for you to be resting on your fat ass!” The blonde man chuckled as he tipped the rim of his top hat towards the pantry drawers. “After all, you said so yourself! The solution is probably related to aaaaaall that food! So you gotta get back to eating as fast as possible, so all of us can get the hell outta here!”

“But, my clothes—” Sigma tried to whine, but he was cut off, this time by a disgruntled Phi. “Ah ah ah, no. Shut up, Sigma. You committed to this stupid plan, and we’re gonna make sure you see it through to the end whether you like it or not.” The girl prodded him in the side with a slim finger, which sunk a couple inches into his flab. “Understand?”

Sigma sighed heavily and hoisted himself back up, almost falling over from his sudden shifting weight. After catching himself with one of the drawers, he opened it and began clearing it of its contents. After another few drawers of food were emptied into his stomach, Sigma heard a snapping noise and felt cool air on his gut suddenly. The release of the building pressure of his lower gut straining against the bottommost button of his shirt was enough for him to realize said button had finally come flying off, which meant the rest were probably soon to follow. The sweet release of his painfully tight cloth prison within sight now, Sigma sped up his consumption considerably, shoveling down packaged pizzas and burgers with ease. Two more buttons went soaring off as he feasted, and his massive gut surged forth like a tidal wave of lard. It flopped over the waistband of his pants and reached almost down to his thighs, his crotch still visible for now. The remaining three buttons at the top of his shirt held strong, but his shirt was being stretched across his chest much further than it was meant to, looking more like an oversized bikini top than a button-up. His chest had fattened up considerably, transforming his huge pecs into even more huge breasts, larger than even Alice’s. With the shirt holding them in place for now, like a bra, they didn’t sag to the sides of his growing gut yet. The seams of the short sleeves were starting to creak and groan from how tight there were against his flabby bingo wings, little diamonds of his arm fat starting to ooze through in small rips. His thighs were starting to do the same to his overburdened pants, seams popping every time he moved his legs even slightly. When he bent down to open a drawer that was closer to the floor, a loud ripping sound came from behind Sigma, and Dio started cackling mockingly. Sigma realized with a cold start that the seat of his pants must have been ripped by his growing ass. His chubby cheeks flushing pink, Sigma’s round face, now accompanied by a full double chin, was hot with embarrassment. He looked down at the drawer he had just opened, filled with packaged cupcakes, and wondered if this was even worth the embarrassment at this point.

Before he could make a decision, though, Phi appeared in front of him and leaned down to grab a package of the cupcakes. She tore it open and popped one into Sigma’s unsuspecting mouth, stifling an exclamation of surprise. She held the package out to him as he chewed on the pastry. “You’re not giving up on your plan already, are you, Sigma. What if this really is the solution? You’re so far into solving it already, may as well see it through to the end, right?” She gave Sigma a reassuring smile, and he immediately felt at ease again despite Dio’s laughing still ringing in his ears. Sigma took the package of cupcakes from Phi and smiled, his chubby cheeks causing his eyes to squint. “Thanks, Phi. It’s nice to know at least one of you believes in me.” She mumbled a response that Sigma didn’t catch, but he was already shoving the rest of the cupcakes in his fat face, so it didn’t matter to him.

Another half an hour had passed, and Dio and Phi had decided to make themselves busy with helping Sigma with his plan instead of exploring the rest of the room. The college student was having some issues reaching the lower drawers now, and walking was getting to be a little bit of a problem too, so they were helping bring him more of the provisions for him to eat. The obese man currently stood with one open drawer at chest level, shoveling the food from it directly into his mouth. His double chin had grown into a triple chin, and his neck was slowly being replaced by rolls of soft fat instead. His chubby chipmunk cheeks had begun drooping, looking more like the jowls of an oversized dog instead. The sleeves of his shirt had ripped open a few minutes ago, setting his wobbling arm fat free. His jiggly biceps slapped against his chest every time he lifted more food up to his mouth. His shirt’s one remaining button strained against his growing moobs, massive tears beginning to form in the fabric stretching across his squishy breasts. His stomach rolls had folded over themselves, forming a three tiered flabby apron that went down to his thighs. The button on his pants had burst off a while ago, and his pants seams were all but gone, just a few threads managing to keep his overfed thighs and beanbag sized ass cheeks from bursting out of them entirely. After finishing the drawer directly in front of his face, Sigma turned his bulk towards the pile of food Phi and Dio had gathered for him, and began waddling towards it. He had to spread his legs uncomfortably far apart to keep his thighs from rubbing together, and even then they still did. He also couldn’t bend his legs anymore, his knees buried under rolls of fat from his jiggly thighs. His oversized ass cheeks, each roughly the size of a couch cushion, drooped down about the same distance as his massive gut, and had lost all semblance of shape and tone, now just two squarish blobs of pure lard. The lowest roll of his apron of a stomach slapped against his thighs with every slow, deliberate step forward, sending his entire body wobbling with each one. It took him three minutes to walk ten feet across the room, and the already massive young man was wheezing for breath by the time he stopped. After catching his breath, Sigma grabbed a package of spaghetti and meatballs off the top of the pile, tore it open, and poured it directly into his fat mouth. Then he did the same for a pizza, a meatloaf, a plate of fish and chips, any and everything in the pile was unceremoniously devoured. The last button of his shirt ripped off its overburdened thread and went flying, narrowly missing Dio’s head. The button pinging off the wall seemed to be the signal the rest of Sigma’s clothing had been waiting for, as every remaining seam burst one after another, sending his massive body surging forth.

Dio turned to Phi as Sigma continued stuffing his face without pause, a look of disgust plastered on his face. “He’s still going! The guy is buck-ass-naked in front of us with only his little boxers on, fat as a whale, and still keeps eating!” The blonde tssked loudly as Sigma began shoving crepes into his mouth. “What’re we gonna do about this lardass?”

Phi cocked her head to one side, thinking. “Well, he’s clearly not going to stop til either all the food is gone, or he can’t reach it anymore, and I kinda want to see how far he ends up taking his stupid idea.” She looked straight at Dio, a smug smirk plastered on her face. “Let’s just help Sigma finish his little job and then we can figure out the room ourselves, without his whining.”

Dio chuckled and gave Phi a conspiratorial wink. “Say no more, little miss. That is fuckin’ devious. I like your style!” He sauntered over to the massive food pile he and Phi had made and began handing dishes directly to Sigma’s greedy hands, his fat sausage fingers immediately grasping anything placed near them and emptying it into his mouth. Sigma’s arms were now so fat that his wrists were starting to sink into his own arm fat, and his pillow-sized arm rolls were constantly squished between his multiple layers of love handles and his massive breasts, thus forcing them to rest at an angle at all times, and making it steadily harder for him to reach his face with his food-filled hands. His face looked like it was slowly being absorbed into his fat body, chubby neck rolls and multiple chins surrounding his drooping jowls which were starting to block his vision somewhat. His chins and neck rolls blended together, flowing down his front like a river of flab, nestled between the valley that was his moobs. Shreds of his blue shirt still clung to his breasts, some stuck underneath the pillow-sized bags of fat which sagged horribly to the sides of his gut now that they were free from their cloth prison. His plush side rolls and back fat were fully on display now, showing clearly how his arms were never going to be able to rest at his sides ever again, and that even if he were to try and lay down, he wouldn’t be able to get flatter than a sitting position with all his multitudes of back rolls propping him up and pooling around his body. The topmost layer of his stomach was wide enough to be used as a bed for a medium sized dog, and was too heavy for anyone to lift even on its own. The middle layer folded over on top of where Sigma’s belly button once was, creating a cavity underneath that was probably almost a foot deep now. The middle and bottom rolls of his enormous stomach were pure lard, soft and jiggly, and very, very heavy. The bottom of the lowest roll reached past his knees now, dangling just a foot off the ground. His legs were as thick as tree trunks now, every inch of his adipose-stuffed thighs and calves touching no matter how far apart he spread his legs. Even his toes were fat now, though they could barely be seen with the mass of flab that was his lower calves slowly starting to engulf his ankles. His misshapen, flabby rear end was almost touching the floor as well, each overstuffed bean bag chair of an ass cheek protruding well over a few feet from his morbidly obese body. His boxers hadn’t been destroyed by their mass yet, but the overburdened underwear looked more like the world’s skimpiest thong, with Sigma’s boulder-sized butt cheeks swallowing the stretched fabric of the garment between their bulbous forms. Phi perched herself on top of one of his massive moobs and started dumping food from the pile directly into Sigma’s waiting mouth, his heavy fat-swaddled arms too tired to lift anything more himself. Dio, being much taller than Phi, merely had to lean against Sigma’s increasingly more squishy side to place more food into his pile of chins, which doubled his rate of consumption considerably. Dio and Phi shared a conspiratorial wink. This was the final stretch of Sigma’s stupid plan!

One more hour passed in the pantry before Phi shoved the last prepacked pie into Sigma’s greedy mouth. She sighed in relief and hopped down off the man’s oversized chest, and stepped back to take in the enormity of her bracelet pair mate. Somehow, despite his incredible size and weight, Sigma was still standing on his own two feet. Whether he could still walk remained to be seen, and Phi didn’t have her hopes up very high for that. The young man was ridiculously obese, probably pushing close to half a ton weight-wise now. A loud belch erupted from Sigma’s mouth, his face a bloated parody of what it used to be mere hours ago. His neck rolls pushed his jowls up around his face, making it look like he was sinking and using a life preserver to keep only his fat face afloat. His arms were so swollen they were barely recognizable, the only hint to their existence as arms being the sausage-shaped fingers poking out from the ends. His massively saggy moobs slumped to either side of his stomach, wobbling with every wheezing breath the mountain of a man took. His love handles bunched up underneath the flab-filled bingo wings of his arms, multiple side rolls forming above his hips that were wide enough to fill an entire sofa by himself. His overstuffed gut now reached the floor, the lowest roll pressing firmly into it even when standing upright. His legs looked like a bursting overfilled sausage casing, his thighs' dimpled fat pressing each other so far apart it was utterly insane that he hadn’t fallen over on his fat ass yet. Especially when you considered Sigma’s ass was so stuffed and loaded with squishy fat that it, too, now almost touched the floor even when he was just standing, and his boxers looked like a few pieces of string stretched across the wide expanse of his cheeks. His feet couldn’t be seen behind his wobbling apron of a stomach, but if they weren’t obscured by that mass of pure flab, they would still not be visible; the fat from his calves had collapsed over top of his ankles, hiding his feet entirely. Overall, Sigma had grown to nearly four times his size in just a few hours of clearing out the entire pantry.

Sigma gazed blearily past his enormous chest and stomach at his teammates, letting out another loud burp. He spoke in a voice that sounded unfamiliar to him, the amount of fat coating his vocal chords causing him to sound huskier, with a deeper voice, and his jowls and chins affecting his speech somewhat. “Did… haah… th’ dooh ohpen? Haah… shohl…ve… th’ puzzshle?” he wheezed. Phi groaned. “Of course you didn’t, you moron! We told you that stuffing yourself wasn’t going to be the solution!”

Dio chuckled and clapped a hand to Sigma’s flabby lovehandle. “Yeah, but we knew you’d never shut up if we didn’t let you try it, so we decided to just let you do your thing, and now here we are!” The blonde man pinched the soft side rolls, forcibly wobbling them back and forth, causing a cacophony of Sigma’s rolls and flaps to slap into each other loudly. The man moaned in discomfort, but Dio continued his torment, delighting in watching the helpless Sigma jiggling all over.

Raising his voice to be heard over the noise of the shockwaves rippling all over his half-ton of flab, Sigma spoke in a husky whine. “Sho then… haah… whuh ah we… haah… gunna do to… haah… eshcape?” Phi patted the lowest roll of his stomach sympathetically before speaking. “Well, Dio and I are gonna figure out how to actually escape this room now. Together. Without you, Sigma.”

The blubbery man burped again before speaking. “But… haah… whuh am I… haah… how do I… haah… help you guysh… haah… sholve it?” He looked upset, like he’d failed both Phi and Dio with his stupid plan by becoming useless to them both. Phi turned her back to him, ignoring his question entirely. Dio stopped jiggling Sigma’s soft side rolls and followed the short woman to see how he could help. Sigma was left standing in the middle of the pantry, the weight of his failure pressing down on his conscience just about as much as the weight of his fat was pressing down on his body. He’d never eaten so much in his life, not even when he was partying constantly in his freshman year of college. How did he think this was a smart idea? He was so stupid! No wonder Phi and Dio let him do this to himself just to get him out of their way. Just before Sigma’s self-pity party was going to get too sad, Phi shouted from across the room. “Hah! Got it! Told you I could handle it, Dio!” She strutted triumphantly back across the pantry towards Sigma’s weighty form, Dio following at a distance, grumbling. “Well, I figured you’d be fine, but I also thought maybe you could use a man’s help. A smart man. Not like big ol’ land whale over there.”

Phi stood in front of Sigma’s stationary form, waving up at his bloated face. “Hey, Sigma! I got the key to get out of here from the safe. There’s some other stuff too but none of it’s of much use to us right now.” The near-immobile man breathed a sigh of relief. At least one of them had managed to solve the escape room. “Thash grea’, Phi!” he said aloud, still surprised at how different his voice was now, “Sho are we leaving now?” He tried to look down at the girl directly in front of him, but couldn’t see her past his enormous gut, moobs, and chins. Phi must have realized this, as suddenly she was jumping in the air and landed directly on his flabby chest, standing in front of his face. She looked him up and down before speaking. “Sigma, do you think you can still walk?”

Sigma wiggled his toes experimentally, nodding decisively as he felt he could still move his feet at least. “I c’n proba’ly walk, yeah. Migh' take me shome time though. Shorry.” Phi patted his jowls reassuringly. “Don’t worry, Sigma. I’ll make sure Dio doesn’t leave without us. Just take your time, okay?” The agile young woman hopped back down, running ahead to keep Dio busy, leaving Sigma to begin his most arduous task of his life: walking a few hundred feet across a room and getting through the door. Slowly he began moving his right leg, the fat coating it shifting past his left leg and slapping against the bottom of his drooping stomach. He moved his left leg forward slowly, essentially walking in a very slow, heavy, exaggerated waddle. His gut touched the floor and the front of his legs the entire way, slapping into his gelatinous thighs every waddling step, sending its entire expanse of rolls wobbling like a pendulum. His shapeless ass cheeks balloon out behind him, jiggling like jello every time he moved even a little. Sigma’s fat face felt like it was on fire, his cheeks bright red and sweaty from the effort of moving around a thousand pounds of fatty flesh across a room. His breath was coming in rasps, mouth agape and panting, his multiple chins wobbling as his chest heaved from the exertion. After something like ten minutes of waddling his fat ass towards the door to escape the pantry, Sigma finally stopped to catch his breath. Taking big wheezing gulps of air, his massive breasts shaking from any slight movement of his chest, Sigma spent another five minutes just preparing to leave the door. Finally, his breathing about as stable as it could be with his lungs being crushed under a half ton of body fat at all times, the enormously overfed man began taking small, waddling steps towards the door. Three.. his thigh slapped loudly against his lowest gut roll. Two… he grasped the door frame with his pudgy sausage fingers. One… he slowly inched his wide body through the door, until suddenly, he stopped. Why am I not moving anymore? He thought to himself, before trying to pull himself forward again. Still nothing. What the fuck was stopping him? He couldn’t turn around to look because his neck was so encased in fat that he couldn’t rotate his head at all, but Sigma didn’t really have to look to guess that the cold metal digging into his soft hips was the door frame, and that his ass was too wide to fit through the door. Well, fuck. That’s not good. Sigma swore internally, before calling out for help. “Hey, Phi… haah… Dio? Haah… haah… there'sh a… haaaaaaah… pro’lem! Pleashe… haah… haah… help?” After a few seconds, Phi returned from further down the hall, Dio not far behind, both taking stock of the situation in front of them. Sigma was fully wedged in the doorway, his massive gut and chest hanging in front of him slightly as his hips, thighs, and couch-sized ass were clearly jammed in the other side of the door. Dio sighed. “All right, big guy. We’re gonna need to get extra help for this. Hold tight.” Sigma whined as the left, calling after their retreating forms, “Guysh, don’… haah… leave me… haaah… behind… haah… buh pleashe… bring… haah… haah… bring… shnacksh… hungry…” Phi stared at Dio incredulously as they ran to find the others. “He just asked for snacks. After all that, he’s still hungry. Unbelievable. Maybe he really will end up the size of a whale before this is all over.”

#my writing #fat!zero escape #fat!sigma klim #male weight gain #ssbhm

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dustedmagazine · 3 years

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Dust Volume 7, Number 2

Bitchin’ Bajas

The whole country is snowed in and Texas is starting to look a lot like the Terrordome, and we can see how people might not be laser focused on music right now, especially if they’re cold or sick or out of food. But music continues to pour in, in great quantities and beguiling diversity, and a fair amount of it is very, very good. So, while we encourage you to take care of your brothers and sisters first (by donating to organizations like Austin Mutual Aid, Community Care — Mutual Aid Houston, Feed the People Dallas or the Austin Disaster Relief Network), we also present another collection of short, mostly positive reviews of new-ish records that have caught our attention. Writers this time around include Ray Garraty, Jennifer Kelly, Bill Meyer, Justin Cober-Lake, Eric McDowell, Bryon Hayes, Jonathan Shaw, Tim Clarke and Mason Jones.

Babyface Ray — Unfuckwitable (Wavy Gang)

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On his new 7 song EP Unfuckwitable, thanks to his technical skills, Babyface Ray grinds through a great variety of trendy topics under a great variety of beats: from “not rap” rap to “bad bitch” rap to “we got it off the mud” rap. It’s all very professionally done, as you expect from a professional rapper, despite Ray’s claims that he’s not one. But midway through it, behind the misty fog of bouncy production and some lines catching the ear, you can clearly see at least two problems, with the EP and Babyface Ray. First, he doesn’t have anything to say (unlike some hip hop artists who ran out of things to say, he never had any in the first place). Second, he either doesn’t rhyme or goes for a lazy rhyming. The standout here is “Like Daisy Lane”, a catchy little song, with absolutely no substance behind it.

Ray Garraty

Bananagun — The True Story of Bananagun (Full Time Hobby)

The True Story of Bananagun by Bananagun

Ooh look, it’s tropicalia from Australia! The five-piece Bananagun hails geographically from Melbourne, but metaphysically from 1960s Sao Paulo or swinging London. Their first album swaggers like a long-haired hipster in wide-flared hip huggers, fingers snapping, funk bass slapping, keyboards and flutes gamboling in hot melodic pursuit. Multiple band members got their start in similarly 1960s-aligned Frowning Clouds, so the psych garage freakbeat elements are, perhaps, to be expected. But Bananagun runs hotter, wilder and considerably less Anglo. “People Talk Too Much” rattles the foundations with scorching funk percussion, big flares of brass and a vintage Afro-beat call and response chorus. “Mushroom Bomb” likewise heats up psychedelic apocalyptica with seething syncopations of bass and drums. Most of these tracks are a bit overstuffed, with a pawn shop’s worth of instruments enlisted in happy, dippy, everyone-get-in-the-jam exuberance, but am I going to complain about too much joy? I am not. Bring on the Bananagun.

Jennifer Kelly

Andrew Barker / Jon Irabagon — Anemone (Radical Documents)

Anemone by Andrew Barker + Jon Irabagon Duo

Some names tell you exactly where you stand, and others raise questions. Take the name of this record, for example; did drummer Andrew Barker (Gold Sparkle Band, Little Huey Orchestra) and tenor saxophonist Jon Irabagon (Mostly Other People Do The Killing, I Don’t Hear Nothin’ But The Blues) have the aquatic or land-lubber variety in mind? To get specific, is this record a buttercup, or a bottom-dwelling, plant-lookalike life form that waits for other aquatic species to come close enough for it to lance them, paralyze them with venom and chow down on their still-living bodies?

“Learnings,” the first of the album’s four tracks, is true to its name, being a distillation of instrumental tones and free jazz attacks that might remind you of moments from various Coltrane and Pharoah records. It feels familiar, but invigorating. The title tune comes next, and it’s a slower, more laconic performance, attractive enough to be either the sea or land variety. Then comes “Book of Knots,” which suspends an intricate percussive construction over slow-bubbling pops and barks. The record closes with “Branded Contempt,” a juxtaposition of pathos-rich blowing and restless brushwork. One can listen most of the way through this record without guessing whether it owes allegiance to Poseidon or Persephone, but the coarse intensity of Irabagon’s playing in the last minutes is the tell; this record packs a sting.

Bill Meyer

BBsitters Club — BBsitters Club & Party (Hausu Mountain)

BBsitters Club & Party by BBsitters Club

Label Hausu Mountain specializes in weird experimental electronics. Its release of a rare rock record might raise a few eyebrows. BBsitters Club, with the label's founders making up half the quartet, pulls off a tricky feat in becoming an arch rock band. BBsitters Club & Party has enough old-fashioned blues and psych-based rock to suggest a group taking itself seriously. Naming the opening track “Crazy Horse” immediately calls attention to its meta status, even if the track sounds more like Pink Floyd than Neil Young's collaborators (and there's a touch of hair metal in there, too). No group with songs called “Joel,” “Joel Reprise,” and “Joel Reprise Reprise” can take itself too seriously, and that kind of playfulness runs throughout the disc. At the same time, BBsitters Club does take its musicianship seriously. They avoid conventional forms, working in complicated structures full of surprising twists. The group can get a little proggy, but then twist it toward an Allman Brothers-style jam. If it starts to settle into the Woodstock era (see the clear nods to Hendrix and Cream), it jumps to the 1980s with an unlikely easiness. The band goes wherever they feel like rocking, with everyone invited to the party.

Justin Cober-Lake

Bitchin Bajas — live ateliers claus (les albums claus)

Bitchin Bajas - live ateliers claus by Bitchin Bajas

If we can all agree the pandemic has dealt musicians some dizzying blows, that’s hardly to say they had it easy before. Squeezed between tech platforms and spurned by a hostile federal government (speaking for the US, anyway), even on tour they had to contend with iffy financials, physical neglect and — because why not say it louder for those in the back? — literal theft. So Cooper Crain, Rob Frye and Dan Quinlivan found themselves over 4,000 miles from home in May 2018, playing Brussels’s les ateliers claus on borrowed equipment after having their gear stolen (twice) on a European tour in support of Bajas Fresh. “Um, we’re, ah, Bitchin Bajas, from Chicago ... Illinois,” one of the trio says over the set’s first tentative tones. “And thanks ... for coming. This is gonna be great, I think. Or, we’ll see.”

Perhaps it’s not a question of either/or but both/and, the cosmic “we’ll see” of COVID-19 only amplifying how truly great it is to receive this music in the unimaginable future of three years later. As ever with the Bitchin Bajas, there is pleasure in the subtleties, whether that’s an excited concert-goer whooping as “Jammu” picks up momentum or the way each turn of the musical kaleidoscope seems to bring out new hues. That the recording doesn’t represent any dramatic departure from what we hear on the studio album or during other sets on other tours is part of its appeal and part of its power as a balm. We don’t need any more startling revelations right now. In this sense, the whole live ateliers claus series is a reminder that this venue and these artists — from Michael Chapman (vol. 1) up through Will Guthrie (vol. 12) — are still here today. If we can help repay what’s been stolen from them, they’ll be here tomorrow, too.

Eric McDowell

Loren Connors & Oren Ambarchi — Leone (Family Vineyard)

Leone by Loren Connors & Oren Ambarchi

This is the first time that Loren Connors and Oren Ambarchi have collaborated, despite the myriad ties that bind the two guitarists across the global exploratory music scene. Leone offers a trio of pieces arranged like overlapping globs of paint on a painter’s palette: the two artists each perform solo with a collaborative piece in between. “Lorn” is a side-long Connors piece with the guitarist in an experimental mood, hammering the reverb-drenched strings to create a glorious cacophony. Ambarchi’s “Nor” recasts the guitar first as a church organ and then as a subaquatic communications device. When the two pair up for “Ronnel,” it is a symbiotic meeting. Connors picks out notes around which Ambarchi weaves contrails of tone. It is a mesmerizing piece, and, we hope, just the first of many joint efforts from these two.

Bryon Hayes

Buck Curran — WFMU 'The Frow Show' Live Session (Feat. Jodi Pedrali) (Obsolete Recordings)

Buck Curran: WFMU 'The Frow Show' Live Session (Feat. Jodi Pedrali) by Obsolete Recordings

When we last caught up with Buck Curran, he was hunkered down at then ground zero for the COVID epidemic, socially isolating in Bergamo, Italy while recording the lovely acoustic-guitar-and-voice album, No Love Is Sorrow. Half a year later, still deep in the grip of a worldwide pandemic, he made this record, a duet with Italian keyboard player Jodi Pederali, revisiting one song from the previous album and adding three others. The tracks with Pederali fuse Curran’s electric blues with the bright, meditative melodies of Pederali’s piano. The two players interact and overlap in intoxicating dialogue. “Deep in the Lovin’ Arms of My Babe,” reprises the finger-picked folk of Curran’s earlier album, adding a glittering sprinkle of piano to its mournful, wistful melody. The set was recorded for Jess Jarnow’s show on WFMU and released on Bandcamp, and while not as long or as weighty as No Love Is Sorrow, it’s well worth hearing.

Jennifer Kelly

Jürg Frey — l’air, l’instant - deux pianos (Elsewhere)

l'air, l'instant - deux pianos by Jürg Frey

When you put two pianos together, there must surely be a temptation to see how much sound you can get out of them. Swiss composer Jürg Frey does the opposite on the two compositions that make up this CD. Each is so sparse that an inattentive listener might think they are hearing one patient pianist, when in fact they are hearing a pair of deeply skilled interpreters. The task assigned to Reinier van Houdt and Dante Boon is to place their notes in such precise relation to each other that they can influence each other’s pitches without interfering with them. Each musician is, as the title “toucher l’air (deux pianos)” (2019) suggests, inducing a slight disturbance in the atmosphere, lightly pressing transitory shapes into the silence that absorbs each note. “Entre les deux l’instant” (2017/2018) allows the two pianists to decide how closely they will match paces as they trade the roles of melodist and accentuator. Immune to gauche temptation, Frey seems drawn instead to see how much attention and how little sound it takes to accentuate the beauty of silence.

Bill Meyer

Chris Garneau — The Kind (The Orchard)

THE KIND by Chris Garneau

Chris Garneau’s lush, stunning art-pop swoops and whirls and flutters in wild arcs of drama. In this fifth album, the New York City songwriter works in a restrained palette of guitar, piano, electronics and drums, but colors way outside the box with his vibrant, emotional-laden voice, which flies up into a falsetto register with an ease not heard since Jeff Buckley passed. “I know you loved me truly, but we don’t love one way, do we?” he croons on the gorgeous “Telephone,” lofting up into whistle range without losing the purity or the trueness of his tone. Cuts like the title song and “Now On” are prayerfully simple, just framing piano chords and Garneau’s highly charged delivery. But others like “Not the Child” are more intricately constructed with a lattice of picked strings, an antic syncopated beat and staccato vocal counterpoints that dance around the main line. The Kind’s songs are deeply personal and rooted in Garneau’s experiences as gay man, but they’ll resonate with anyone who’s ever loved or longed or regretted.

Jennifer Kelly

Gaunt Emperor — Femur (Self-released)

Femur by Gaunt Emperor

Some would-be emperors may no longer have clothes (looking at you, Trump), but Gaunt Emperor is unabashed about wearing its influences on its sleeve. Femur is the first LP by this California project, and Sunn 0))) and the first few records released by Earth are large presences, looming hugely just behind the sounds Gaunt Emperor generates. If you’re familiar with those other bands, you get the essential idea: deep (really deep) notes and long (really long) sustain from loud (really loud) guitars, and not much else. That said, Gaunt Emperor has an aesthetic vision that seems to be attempting to survey its own territory. While compositions like “Slow Submersion” and “The Birth of Obsidian” work from the playbook established by O’Malley and Anderson, the textures of Gaunt Emperor’s guitar tone have their own sort-of-subtle qualities. They’re pretty good. “Conception,” the second track on Femur, expresses a similar inclination towards melody that Earth began to demonstrate on The Bees Made Honey in the Lion’s Skull (2008), but Gaunt Emperor retains an unrestrained relation to volume; you can feel the heat inexorably building in the overdriven amplifier stack. In any case, this is suitable music for pondering massive, ongoing phenomena, like the calving of icebergs off Antarctica’s coast or the steady disappearance of the Amazonian rainforest — not that Femur will make you feel any better about that stuff.

Jonathan Shaw

Luka Kuplowsky — Stardust (Mama Bird)

Stardust by Luka Kuplowsky

Soft jazzy reveries coalesce around this Toronto songwriter’s offhand, semi-spoken melodies. Little accents of acoustic bass, slide guitar, hushed harmonies dart in and out of focus, but the songs themselves come up on you obliquely, filtering in from the vents in evocatively scented clouds. Rhythms sway in undulant, bossa nova syncopations, while chords slide into resolution from slightly off center. A half-remembered jazz flute lick lick lofts through the window. At the center of it all is Luka himself, posing, but not insisting on koan-like observations. “Perfection is a noose,” he confides amid the muted wreck and roll of massed jazz sounds in “City by the Window,” but he seems unbothered by it. Perfection is an accident, and if you look at it too hard, it disappears.

Jennifer Kelly

José Lencastre / Hernâni Faustino / Vasco Furtado — Vento (Phonogram Unit)

Vento by José Lencastre / Hernâni Faustino / Vasco Furtado

Vento is the Portuguese word for wind, and the name conveys that combination of purposeful and chance operations that converged to make this record happen. The trio of alto saxophonist José Lencastre, double bassist Hernâni Faustino and drummer Vasco Furtado didn’t book a studio with the intent to record; they just wanted a place to play for a couple hours. But the engineers had just obtained some microphones and wanted to try out their new toys. Likewise, this improvisational trio did not bring an tunes to the session, but they play with a purposefulness born of shared aesthetic values. Whether are sailing a brisk clip, as on the title track, or gradually unwinding the music at low volume and velocity, as on “Ruínas,” they operate as a real time compositional cooperative, developing their music in linear fashion. While they share a direction, they also value contrast. For example, Lencastre’s breathy tone during the latter tune’s early moments balances Faustino’s pointed twang. Since remorseless microoganisms and anti-cultural politicians are each doing their best to keep live music down, records like this serve a necessary function in reminding us of the life force that motivates improvised music.

Bill Meyer

Lilys — A Brief History of Amazing Letdowns (Frontier)

A Brief History of Amazing Letdowns by Lilys

Kurt Heasley’s Lilys made some of the most ebullient and inventive guitar music of the 1990s. The best Lilys songs sound as though they’re flying apart and being put back together as they hurtle along, killer hooks tossed aside as quickly as they start to drag you in. Though they’re perhaps best known for their Kinks-indebted breakthrough Better Can’t Make Your Life Better, this was actually a sharp turn away from the dense shoegazey atmospherics of their first couple of records. Thus far, Frontier Records has reissued their first two albums, In the Presence of Nothing and Eccsame the Photon Band, both of which are superb. The A Brief History of Amazing Letdowns EP was originally released in 1994, a transitional period when Heasley was still exploring the textural joys of distorted guitars while starting to throw down pop hooks with aplomb. Opener “Ginger” hits similar pleasure centers as Weezer’s debut, released the same year, while on “Dandy,” Heasley’s vocal sounds uncannily like Stephen Malkmus. The previously unreleased “G. Cobalt Franklin” foregrounds searing guitar tones and bulbous bass, the bulk of the melodic layers sounding like they’re bleeding through from the next room, peppered with swirling flange and voice recordings. The second half of this expanded edition comprises songs originally demoed for Eccsame the Photon Band, and later released in 2000 on a split EP with Aspera Ad Astra. They’re decent enough, though feel like they’re missing the spark of the best Lilys creations. So, while this amounts to a far-from-essential Lilys release, it’s fascinating to hear Heasley in transition, working out how to reconcile his love for melody with his immersion in guitar noise.

Tim Clarke

Fred Lonberg-Holm — Lisbon Solo (Notice)

Lisbon Solo by Fred Lonberg-Holm

As befits a guy who has also recorded a “solo” record in the company of a Florida swamp full of frogs, Fred Lonberg-Holm picks his recording locations strategically, and location has a lot to do with how this album turned out. It was done at an old and well-appointed studio in Lisbon, Portugal, where he could be sure that the microphones would catch every creak, groan and polyphonic wail he might draw out of his main instrument. But he also knew, from prior visits, that he would have access to some seriously over-the-hill pianos. While most of the album is devoted to savagely bowed attacks, the odd digressions into detuned, radiant chimes deliver just enough respite to keep you off balance and on the edge of your seat.

Bill Meyer

Dan Melchior — Odes (Cudighi Records)

'Odes' by Dan Melchior

Dan Melchior is likely a recognizable name to Dusted readers; he has made quite a string of releases over the years. This cassette/digital release, recorded in 2016, is a subdued affair, nine songs for the most part following the same blueprint: a track of strummed or lightly picked acoustic guitar with a fuzzy electric lead layered on top. The foundational guitar tracks establish a calm, repetitive cycle, giving some of these songs an almost raga-like feel, in some cases through a hazy reverb: "Tybee" feels like you're sitting in the next room listening to him play through a closed door.

Calling the overdubs "guitar leads" implies the wrong feel. While played through fuzz or distortion, the mood is a woozy one, more opiated than energetic, but in a drifting, pleasant way. There's an over-arching melancholy throughout these songs, one person alone playing to satisfy a need. Knowing Melchior was facing the recent loss of his wife Letha certainly colors it, but even a listener ignorant of that back-story would feel the emotional resonance.

These nine ramshackle, loose instrumental pieces are personal, incomplete, and like having someone entrust you with private stories in song form.

Mason Jones

Mint Field — Sentimiento Mundial (Felte)

Sentimiento Mundial by Mint Field

Mint Field, from Mexico City, filters the feedback and noise of shoegaze guitars through a pensive screen, finding an aura of nostalgia in between and among blinding walls of scree. Estrella del Sol Sánchez contributes two of the band’s signature sounds, the dreamy, delicate vocals and the swirling masses of altered guitar. She is supported by Sebastian Neyra on bass and Callum Brown on drums. The volume level varies song to song, but it’s all mesmerizing and good. “Delicadeza” breezes in on the tenderest sort of sigh, the softest, most lyrical strummed accompaniment, but “Contingencia” digs in and pounds, drums cranking, bass thudding and guitars winging out in wild arabesques of distorted sound. The easiest comparison might be the similarly hauntingly voiced Lush, but there’s something special here in the soft, keening soprano calm at the center of even the most agitated cuts.

Jennifer Kelly

Roy Montgomery — Island of Lost Souls (Grapefruit)

Roy Montgomery 40th Anniversary 2021 LP Series by Roy Montgomery

In 2021, guitarist Roy Montgomery celebrates 40 years of music-making with the release of four new LPs, beginning with Island of Lost Souls. Though 2018’s fantastic Suffuse included vocals from artists such as Haley Fohr (Circuit Des Yeux), Julianna Barwick and Liz Harris (Grouper), Island of Lost Souls is entirely instrumental, comprising four pieces, each dedicated to a late artist (actor Sam Shepard, and musicians Adrian Borland, Peter Principle and Florian Fricke). Though wordless, Montgomery’s guitar speaks volumes, flickering and flowing with the liquid grace of a player intimately familiar with both his fretboard and the effects pedals at his feet, sending waves of tone cascading with delay and reverb. Plus, on the side-long, climactic “The Electric Children of Hildegard von Bingen,” Montgomery pitch-shifts his guitar so it really ascends to the heavens, where it takes up residence for 22 minutes. Fans of Windy & Carl, Flying Saucer Attack and The Durutti Column, take note.

Tim Clarke

Jon Mueller — Family Secret (American Dreams)

Family Secret by Jon Mueller

A family secret is usually a multigenerational skeleton in the closet that is either sorrowful or sinister. For percussionist and Volcano Choir member Jon Mueller, it is the former: a series of familial rifts that became the unlikely muse for this collection of reverberating drones. Mueller employs instruments that produce multiple resonant tones, such as singing bowls and gongs, to create rich pools of complex sound. Metallic hues brighten subterranean rumblings while enigmatic dapples of condensed steam coalesce into liquid shapes. The drummer conjures ghastly creatures through extending the vocabulary of his drum kit. Cymbal scrapes become banshee wails and scoured skins emanate uncanny whispers. With Family Secret, Mueller manifests his personal demons as phantom signals. He transmogrifies emotional strife into physical actions which then become ethereal. Ironically, the resulting sounds are actually soothing. Pain has never sounded so sweet.

Bryon Hayes

Primitive Motion — Descendants of Air (Kindling)

youtube

Primitive Motion is the Brisbane-based duo of Sandra Selig and Leighton Craig, and Descendants of Air is their seventh album, previously only available as a CD given away at live shows. You can immediately imagine what the album sounds like based on the artist name and album title alone: rustic yet cosmic, full of space and open to spontaneity. Recorded on the banks of the Enoggera Reservoir, these eight meandering pieces prominently feature the sounds of wind and leaves, plus the calls of raucous Australian birds, while Selig and Craig insinuate suggestions of melodies and chords on nylon-string guitar, woodwinds, and battery-powered keyboards, and gently massage the air with percussive patters. Though part of the appeal of the recording is its deliberate vagueness, the most affecting piece, and the shortest, is “True Orbit,” where a strident theme built around melodica, keyboard and voice seems to emerge fully formed from the aether.

Tim Clarke

Socioclast — S/T (Carbonized Records)

Socioclast by Socioclast

In heavy music’s current moment of endless genre-hopping and hybridization, it’s nice to hear a record that understands exactly what it wants to be. Socioclast is a grindcore record. Like Assück’s grindcore’s records. A lot like Assück’s grindcore records. You get all the high-velocity chugging crunch and guttural grunting — vocals so deep in the gullet that it’s pretty hard to pick up any lyrics. The song titles, however, suggest the ideological dispositions you might expect: “Surveillance, Normalization, Examination,” “Specter Signal,” “Psychodrone,” “Propaganda Algorithm.” There can be a fine line between paying tribute and being derivative, but Socioclast creates an homage rather than an outright imitation. This is 21st-century music. It sounds a lot clearer and slicker than anything Assück or the early Slap A Ham bands committed to vinyl. Like Slap A Ham, Socioclast is a California-based musical phenomenon, featuring dudes who have played in bands like Deadpressure and Mortuous; Colin Tarvin’s death-metal grooves are especially prominent on some of the record’s best tracks, including “Eden’s Tongue” and “Omega.” But this is assertively a grindcore record. Given that version of traditionalism (and yes, events have come to such a pass that grindcore has a tradition), it turns out that Socioclast isn’t all that socioclastic. So goes the strangeness of semantics. But the music is good.

Jonathan Shaw

Space Quartet — Under the Sun (Noise Precision Library)

Under the Sun by Space Quartet

Space is a persistent and multi-faceted theme in the music of the Portuguese electronic musician, Rafael Toral. And while his name is not appended to the Space Quartet’s, make no mistake, this is his band, playing his music. But it is a music derived from ideas that can’t be realized without the right people. So, while Toral has delved repeatedly into the sounds that people imagine they might make and that they actually find in outer space, and he has explored empty and variously filled spaces as starting points for his music, the point of the Space Quartet is to find the right people, and give them enough space to realize a new kind of jazz. Under the Sun is the combo’s second recording, made with a substantially different line-up than the iteration that recorded the self-titled debut for Clean Feed Records. Toral has sacrificed the all-electronic front line and switched drummers, but in doing so he may have found the right crew to take him where he needs to go. Across the album’s two 21-minute-long tracks, there are usually several ongoing dialogues taking place between the players, which manifest intriguing degrees of mutual challenge and support. But the way that Toral’s elongated feedback lines and Nuno Torres’ stuttering alto saxophone phrases flow around Hugo Antunes’ stark, elastic double bass figures and percussionist Nuno Morão’s lightly deployed, carefully modulated streams of textures and beats that extends a lineage anchored in the language that Cecil Taylor’s trio first released into the air at the Café Montmartre back in 1962.

Bill Meyer

Stinkhole — Mold Encrusted Egg (Mangel Records)

MOLD ENCRUSTED EGG by STINKHOLE

The name sort of says it all, but to clarify anyways: Stinkhole languishes in a slimy musical ditch, bottoming out somewhere between the No Wave skronk of Mars and the transgressive caterwauling of Suckdog. As was the case with both of those acts, the dissonance and the gross-out antics can obscure some interesting ideas. Clawing your way through the dense layers of yuck (or, depending on how you’re wired, enjoying it) is integral to the challenge posed by the experience. All the gagging vocalizations, primitivist drumming and semi-tuned bass whomps on Mold Encrusted Egg occupy prominent positions on the surface of songs like “Orange Juice.” But listen to Mold Encrusted Egg a little more closely: there are some rabid grooves, feral guitar breaks and a lot of impenetrably weird environments of sampled sounds, tape manipulations and unidentifiable scree. Is it fun? Does it sound good? Fuck no. The band’s name is Stinkhole. They write songs with titles like “Slippin’ on Slug Slime” and “Emancipated by Hair.” They roll with the whacko punk and noise bands that have congregated around the Berlin-based Flennen digital music zine and its accompanying label. Dig the stink. Rock has rarely been so richly rotten.

Jonathan Shaw

Styrofoam Winos — S-T (Sophomore Lounge)

STYROFOAM WINOS "S/T" by Styrofoam Winos

Stryofoam Winos brings together three old friends to swap songs in Nashville. You might recognize Lou Turner from her solo album, Songs for John Venn, a sly and subversion of the songwriter’s wholesome alt-country charm. Joe Kenkel is a kindred spirit, a folk rock singer with respect but not reverence for the certitudes of Southern life. Says Nashville Scene of his solo Dream Creator, “Kenkel, a sophisticated folk-rock songwriter, documents Music City’s idiosyncrasies on his debut LP, with acutely observant lyrics.” And Trevor Nikrant completes this anonymous all-star line-up; his 2017 debut caught the ear of Aquarium Drunkard’s J. Steel who called it “Oddball baroque psychedelia broadcasted from a basement on the east side.” The three kicked things off with a lo-fi and charming debut, Winos at Home, in 2017, but this self-titled LP takes things up a notch with songs that balance craft with eccentricity. “Stuck in a Museum” jangles and rambles in an antic, neurotically intelligent way, as the narrator finds himself entrapped amid the exhibits, staring fixedly at a teapot from the Tang Dynasty. “Roy G. Biv” turns contemplative—and twangy—as Turner sings plaintively about rainbows and colors, the way things change and how hard it can be to keep up. “Maybe More” glints with mandolin, but remains pared back, as a down-trodden singer (one of the guys, not sure which) sings about a life stuck in neutral, same book, same coat, same jokes, but beautiful. The disc has the feel of a warm, casual gathering, with friends jumping in on harmonies or picking up the bass. The songs are sharp and lovely without a lot of fuss.

Jennifer Kelly

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albatris · 4 years

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is there romance in atdao or is it all just found famiy vibes? if there is romance im real curious about how peeps would express those kinda feelings

hello hi hello this took me AGES I’m very sorry I kept getting distracted by things such as being asleep

anyway yes thank you for the question! romance? yes, we’ve got some of this going on, sure, though I would count the romance as within the found family c:

I don’t know if you wanted a Ramble™ but this is a topic I can ramble about and I’m in a bit of a rambling mood so you can have a ramble, free of charge, just take it up to the register and have them enter the code “logan this is not what I ordered”

but yeah, your question? about eight vaguely relevant tangents immediately spring to mind! also spoilers?? spoilers after the cut

I really should have formatted this response in a way that puts the super spoiler heavy part at the end but since when have I ever ever in my life made things easy for my dear sweet followers

y’all know what I’m like with spoilers by now

but yeah, to set the scene, there’s two main romantic......................... situations going on in the story, the first being between Noa and Alice, and the second being between Kai, Tris and Shara. so, the former I would describe as “a legitimate romantic subplot” and the latter I would describe as a character tripping and falling into it by sheer chance and just being like “oh whoops well I guess this is what I’m doing now” which is also extremely valid

Noa and Alice end up not being, like, Confirmed Endgame by the end of the story even though much of the plot looks like it’s heading in that direction, and like...... yeah, in my head, they do end up in a romantic relationship at some point post-story, but I’m not sure on what sort of timeline

during the story itself, it’s established that they do share mutual feelings for each other and this is likely heading towards a romantic relationship, but I think since much of the story sees Noa still trying to find her feet in just, like....... having friends at all, and trusting those friends, and knowing who she is in relation to others on any sort of level, I think near the end of the story she decides that she’s not at a place where she wants to try and figure out a romantic relationship just yet

it’s not a hard no, it’s just a “hey not right now” and a “let’s see what happens later down the track, for now it’s just nice to be around friends” ‘cause even that is just super new territory for her

which I worry will make people feel cheated, but also, I think it’s the ending for this subplot that would make the most sense for where the characters are at and would be the most fitting c:

and secondly there’s like

hm. ok

well, there WAS a vaguely jokey post I made yonks back where I pitched the idea of an ATDAO polyamory ending being just like. Alice who’s dating Noa who’s dating Shara who’s dating Kai who’s dating Tris. and I stand by this being solid as hell. but also, given the ending to Noa’s subplot with Alice, it doesn’t really work in the story canon, n though I think Noa and Shara is a dynamic I really enjoy, it would likely not actually play out in reality :P

which leaves the trio of Shara, Kai and Tris, a trio I’ve always vibed with and had vaguely on my radar as a valid poly ending but for some reason didn’t twig that I could just, like, make it canon and no one can stop me LMAO

but yeah, this one, like I said, it’s not so much aHD whole big subplot, it’s just something that falls into place super casually and is never really brought up beyond “oh is this a thing that’s happening?” “yeah” “cool ok”

I think there’s a brief window as a reader where you might be like “ugh this is gonna be a stupid love triangle or some weird jealousy thing” but then it just ends up being a complete non-issue. there’s basically zero romantic drama for this plotline, Tris and Shara are bros and Kai is dating both of them

n as for your question itself, it depends on whether you mean, like.......... how they would go about expressing to someone else that they have romantic feelings or, like, how they express their affections in a romantic scenario

‘cause for the former, the answer for both Tris and Noa is just.... they don’t

Noa because at the start of the story she views her crush on Alice as a huge fucking inconvenience that’s going to make things messy and complicated, so she just tries to ignore her romantic feelings as hard as she can (obviously this doesn’t last hahaha). but yeah, she’s just very pissed off that she has a crush and doesn’t want to acknowledge it :P she also has no idea how to respond when Alice expresses romantic interest in her, this is all extremely new territory

and Tris because he doesn’t realise he’s even experiencing romantic feelings in the first place?? like. the boy has so much baseline anxiety jitteriness that stuff like, idk, feeling your heart pick up pace, butterflies in the stomach, any kinda social nerves you get around the people you like, etc, he experiences this with Kai and is automatically just like “great now you’re here and I’m having a panic attack can you please leave”

just slaps a label of Bad Vibes onto it then later is like Wait A Minute

but yeah, I think neither of them would be super comfy actually expressing their feelings out loud or making that first move, Noa because she’s super fuckin petty and stubborn and Tris because he’s waaaaaaaay too fuckin socially anxious for that shit are you kidding

in terms of how they express their affections though??

so like. I have to reiterate that I’m aro and ace and I have a lot of difficulty in articulating what makes a romance A Romance, like??? I have relationships that are friendships and relationships that are romantic, but I myself don’t really experience romantic attraction in the way other people do

as such, the way I write characters in their romantic expressions tends to be just an extension of how they act in their friendships? which I think is a pretty ok thing to base a romance off anyway, but like, yeah, romance, this is a mystery to me for the most part, do I look like I know what a romance is

anyway I think once Alice and Noa get a little closer there’s a lot of good-natured ribbing and friendly insults, n since they already had a bit of a rivalry going on beforehand I would imagine this competitive streak doesn’t disappear :P Noa is generally uncomfy with being Openly affectionate and soft with others, so I think there would be a lot of more “indirect” ways she shows this care. I think they have the kind of relationship where from an outside perspective you don’t really get how it’s warm and affectionate, but it’s just ‘cause you don’t know the lingo, right

Tris is just the cheerleader type in all friendly relationships I think, lots of encouragement and hype and compliments and enthusiasm, he’s very excitable and very easily impressed hahahaha. though I think it takes people a while to click that he’s legitimately being 100% earnest and genuine, the constant deadpan does not work super well in his favour

anyway I’m gonna hop back up for a sec so I can cover Shara and Kai real quick

these two are............ a bit more direct with actually verbalising their feelings to people? Shara is a socially anxious type, but also not someone who enjoys beating around the bush, n she generally likes to just speak what’s on her mind and be direct with others whenever she can. Kai just kinda........ I mean, I don’t think they consider romantic affections to be a super big deal? at least in theory? I say in theory ‘cause, like, I think they give the impression that this kind of conversation is just super smooth and easy for them, and on the inside they’re like “it’s really not a big deal it’s just feelings it’s whatever” but they’re still anxious about it and had to hype themself up for like a week before going through with it lmao

but ye, in terms of how they express their affections, they’re both fairly similar. you suddenly will just Not Be Able To Get Rid Of Them, they’ll constantly be hanging around in the same space or dragging you into whatever shenanigans they’ve got going on, I think for both of them their favourite expression of love is just sharing in experiences or sharing the same space, just Being Involved And Around

a “hey come help me run errands” type or a “I’m gonna hang off the back of your sofa while you’re studying and sometimes slingshot balls of paper at you with a rubber band” type :P

and now I have to go on Another Tangent just ‘cause the subject matter is vaguely relevant and idk where else I’m gonna go on this tangent

there is definitely some part of me that’s still super super fond of the idea of Kai being aro??? and I initially did write them as such, but for the moment this is not something that’s remained canon in text ‘cause I’m a little bitch ‘cause like

Kai would be aro in very much the same way I am, which is to say, they’re a person who is extremely full of love and who has difficulty in differentiating what the step is supposed to be between friendship feelings and romantic feelings, so, someone who may not necessarily “get” what makes a romance a romance or experience any feelings different from a strong friendship, but who is still open to being in a romantic relationship

(the difference between us being that Kai Really Really Likes People and enjoys being close with others as much as possible, where I’m more the awkward standoffish hermit type lmao)

but yeah, I was kinda like. well. despite being a perfectly valid aro person in a romantic relationship myself, if I were a fictional character people would probably call me bad rep HAHAHA. like “yeah they’re apparently aro but they don’t really ACT aro and the author put them in a romantic relationship ://”

and while I think there’s value to be had in fiction in exploring the different ways a person can be aro, I just, like................... thought about the hypothetical future discourse and was just like UGH. I cannot be fucking BOTHERED

I get enough people in real life being like “ok but you’re not REALLY aro like why do you even bother having that label it’s not like it matters in your context” even though I’m the goddamn expert on my own experiences you bastards

lmao

but yeah I think aro Kai is canon in my heart hahahaha. and they may end up articulating some of the same feelings, maybe just not with the label applied, who knows

anyway that’s my rambles done I think! thanks for reading n have a nice night c:

#Anonymous #i started to ramble then i was like #oh man i better keep this short actually and try and get through this quick and then by the end of it i was #back to rambling #it's fine #i would go into more detail abt the relationships themselves but i think. this reply is super lengthy as is :')#i think i have been on some rambles abt shara and kai in the past?? but idk if i could find those to link them lmao #atdao #there's an only tangentially relevant ramble about being aro right at the end #cuz its like. im aro and i feel this in my heart but also #*gestures vaguely*#anyway g'night team

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blackgwenstacy · 3 years

Text

rolling with it (new girl au)

who’s that girlllllll (who’s that girl?) it’s piper, actually

bro, if piper had to room with anyone from the pjo-verse, leo, percy, and travis were definitely the most chaotic trio i could come up with

zero percent plot, one hundred percent self indulgent. here’s the ao3 link. it has the tags and characters and other important stuff lmao

“You know, I’ve been doing some introspection, and I just have to face it,” Piper starts, sitting forward and placing her chin in her palm. “I have horrible taste in men. I mean, I rearrange my whole life to revolve around Dylan, only for him to cheat on me with the girl he knows I couldn’t stand in high school. I should’ve seen that one coming. ‘Oh, we’re just lab partners, Piper. Nothing for you to worry about.’ Oh yeah, me walking in on her wearing my silk kimono robe that I got as a bid day gift seven years later is totally nothing for me to worry about.”

Piper finishes her overly long tirade with a sarcastic laugh, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair. The three men on the other side of the kitchen island watch her in silence, a shared look of confusion on their faces.

“Wait,” Piper sits up again, “what was the question?”

One of them gives an awkward cough. “…What do you do for a living?”

“Oh,” Piper says. Her faces goes warm. “I work at an animal shelter.”

The tallest one furrows their brow. “You got a silk kimono robe as a bid day gift?”

“It had ‘ADPi' on the back and everything. I have to burn it now.”

He whistles. “That’s fucked up.”

The man with black hair and vibrant green eyes leans forward onto the counter. “Look—sorry, what was your name again?”

“Piper,” she says miserably.

He nods, putting a hand on his chest. “Percy. Piper, are you sure you’d be. . . okay rooming with us? Like, three adult men?”

“Well, I wouldn’t room with three underaged men. That’d be like. . .weird,” she comments, and then immediately resists the urge to slap her forehead.

The curly haired one wearing a green flannel and stained white tank top snorts into his hand.

Piper clears her throat. “It’s fine, it’s totally fine. I love men.” An awkward pause. “ . .in a non-heterosexual way. Well, yes that way because I swing that way but like, in a platonic way. In a roommate way. Men are. . . great.”

“Your latest tweet says ‘men are trash fr’ with two cry laughing emojis,” the tall one remarks, squinting at his phone. His eyebrows raise in surprise. “It has 3k retweets and 10k likes.”

Flannel-boy leans over to peer at the phone screen. “How the hell is it so easy for people to go viral on that app?”

His roommate smirks. “Tweetdecking. I do it all the time. Such easy clout.”

“I wasn’t tweetdecking.” Piper bitterly mutters. “I was just saying what everyone else was thinking.”

Percy gives his roommates a dirty look. Piper's kind of surprised she's not on the other end of it the way this is going. “Travis, why are you stalking her on Twitter?”

“Background checking, dude.”

“How did you even find it?”

“His lurk game is insane,” flannel-boy says.

“She’s right in front of us!” Percy widens his eyes, exasperated.

Piper gives a small wave to emphasize Percy’s point. “Hi.”

The other two barely acknowledge that she said anything. Travis lifts both his hands in defense. “Look, I’m just making sure she’s not crazy or anything—“

“I’m not,” Piper insists. Though if he continues to scroll through her Twitter profile she figures why he might come to a different conclusion. “I’m not crazy. Nowhere on the DSM-5. Totally normal. Plus, it’ll be like I’m not even here. Trust me. I work most days, and on top of that, I have depressive episodes where I isolate myself in my room for weeks.”

The three of them wear a concerned look. She bites the inside of her cheek, realizing that she may have pled her case a bit too much.

“Okay, maybe a little bit on the DSM-5. Look, I know I’m a girl and that will throw the natural balance of things for a little bit, but I swear I’m chill! Basically one of the guys.”

“Bruh girl,” flannel-boy interjects. “I’ve dated one of those. Not gonna lie, I prefer the ones who use the pouty face emoji.”

Piper’s eyes flit between the three of them in confusion. “What are we talking about?”

Percy glares at his roommate. “Ignore Leo, he’s an idiot.”

Leo makes a comment about comparing SAT scores. Travis shakes his head at him and points at one of three jars that sit on fireplace mantel. “Douchebag. Douchebag. We’re literally college grads, who cares about SAT scores?”

Leo grumbles to himself as he crosses toward the fireplace. They watch as Leo reaches into his pocket, pulls out a crumpled dollar and shoves it into the jar labeled ‘Douchebag.’ Instead of rejoining them in the kitchen, Leo throws himself onto the living room sofa.

Piper laughs nervously, not sure how react with this established dynamic. Percy picks up on her discomfort and gives her a sympathetic look.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna room with other girls?”

Piper frowns, twiddling her thumbs. “I’m rooming with other girls right now. My old sorority sister is letting me stay with her. She’s a model and so are her roommates. I hate it.”

Leo abruptly sits up, raising his eyebrows in interest. “How soon can you move in?”

#my writing #there are other chapters on ao3 i'm too lazy to post them lmao #i feel like i should make a sideblog to scream about my fics #i have an inspo blog but the aesthetic there is nice i don't wanna ruin it with my bs hmmmm #sigh i'm gonna go finish the next chapter of rooftops now #i have two discussion posts due tonight that i'm ignoring HA

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manjuhitorie · 4 years

Text

Hitori-Escape Tour 2019 concerts 10-13

The previous 1-9 concerts of the tour: https://manjuhitorie.tumblr.com/post/188358977881/ Shinoda on vocals and guitar, Yumao on drums, and ygarshy on bass. performing Hitorie’s songs as the trio.

The standard setlist was:

01 Senseless Wonder 02 Shutter Doll 03 Nichijou to Chikyuu no Gakubuchi

MC, usually consisting of Shinoda sharing greetings with the crowd, and breaking the ice a little bit.

04 Namid[A]me 05 Garandou Mae Zero Banchi 06 Inperfection

07 SLEEPWALK 08 Loveless

09 (W)HERE 10 Gekijougai 11 Talkie Dance 12 Unknown Mother Goose

13 Karanowaremono 14 Little Cry Baby 15 Ao 16 Polaris

Encore intermission + MC

17 Odoru Mannequin, Utau Aho 18 Rolling Girl

10 Hitorie’s Hitori-Escape Tour, 10/17/2019 at CLUB RIVERST in Niigata prefecture! Report!

SND “Everybody, everybody everybody. It’s all about love. Do you have enough love? Do you have enough love in you, do you?”

During the intro of Loveless before the bass comes in, ygarshy had his instrument muted as he tuned it. Within that time frame, Shinoda, with his handheld microphone in one hand, went over to ygarshy and slapped his cheek twice (inducing laughter from the crowd). ygarshy’s face was hidden behind his hair, but what kind of expression did he make I wonder...

●SND was performing with a handheld mic, up until the guitar solo when the staff brought him a guitar to play.

●Which was, Leader’s own jaguar guitar. SND used it throughout (W)HERE and Gekijougai after. The emotional screaming numbers.

●For a while ygarshy had his head hung, performing with his back turned away from the crown or looking to his side, but during Talkie Dance his inner switch seemed to suddenly turn on, and from then onward he was aggressively approaching front stage. ●Then the encore intermission MC chat. SND stands in his usual position, but for this Yumao comes up front and uses ygarshy’s microphone so he can be closer to the crowd. ygarshy tucked away behind him.

●Yuma at SND “So, you were nervous about singing at the start of the tour, vyr are you feeling better now?” SND “I’m used to it. We’ve made it halfway through the tour and all.”

SND “But ahh, one day I dream of walking on top of the crowd’s heads and bridging all the way to the other side of the floor." Crowd “Get on us! Ride us!” SND “Naw, I don’t want to do something that’ll make the internet angry.” Yu “You're chill enough to want to walk on top of people. That’s a good sign.” SND “Yeah?” Yu “We’re halfway through the tour right, and you’ve already gotten halfway on top of the crowd. you were sitting on and climbing over on the stage railings earlier after all! You’re halfway there, next up is the other side-” SND “Uhm-”

●SND and Yumao jested about a role swap between them and the crowd, how crazy it would be, with hundreds of people on stage and three down in the crowd…. Crowd “Let’s do it!” SND “We’d get banned from the venue!”

SND continued to ask the crowd how they were feeling, as to which the majority responded “Hot.” While Rie were feeling comfy on stage, thanks to the air circulation system they set up. SND “For once! For once the tables have turned! We’ve always been hot up here and not vice versa. Is this a sign, is the crowd⇆stage role-swap going to become a reality next!?"

●Continuing, Yumao had a story to tell. At the commercial area near Niigata station, he and yga went out for food at a seemingly normal onigiri izakaya bar. (Here’s the store they probably went to: http://onigirisenka.com)

Yu “We walked in, we sat down, nothing out of the ordinary. But after a while we were like ‘? Why is the waitress still here at our table? What’s going on?’ We look around to see 5 girls who were blatantly hired based on looks alone, and one girl assigned to each table.” SND “You found your way into a god damn hostess club!”

Yuma “I'd be fine with it but this guy, ygarshy… Well, he's ygarshy. He can’t handle this kinda thing. We came to chat with each other but now there’s a girl barging into our conversations! And then she even asked us ‘Did you just come here on work~? You kinda look like you’re in a band~!’” SND “Hahaa you don’t wanna be caught up in that!”

Yumao loves to talk about this stuff, so on normal terms he would’ve just burst into conversation. But here he didn’t want to put yga in a traumatizing situation. So he bit his tongue and said “Band!? We can’t even play instruments!!”…. SND “Hahahaa.” Yu “Then she responded with ‘I love bands, I play the drums!’. Way to make it even more suffocating for me! She was talking to us so much that, ygarsh’s rice was gettin’ crusty.” ? “..Pot....” yg, for the first time in ages, opened his mouth. He didn’t go up to the microphone or anything for this callout either, he just vocalized loud enough to be heard.

Yu “Pot!? Pot? I remember now... We had beautiful white rice inside of a pot, drying up!” The price was of your average izakaya, despite the hostess part too. SND “~~~” Yumao “.….Let’s go again”

●Yumao “Alrighty then let’s play...”

SND “Ah did you hear... It’s, an emergency it’s an emergency ygarshy! Apparently like 50 fire ants were found in Tokyo Harbor.”

yg *>>>BWOOOON<<<<* 　*It was in the news that yesterday. 50 poisonous specimens which could’ve easily been queens fertilized, + their offspring could’ve easily spread further into the country, was a fright. Especially for those with entomophobia-. SND’s tweet Niigata concert: complete, thank you. Take care not to catch any colds y’all,,, We’ll be back. Next up is the city where Leader was born and raised, Kagoshima. Hope to see you there.

11 Hitorie’s Hitori-Escape Tour, 10/22/2019 at SR Hall in Kagoshima prefecture

SND “Y’all are from Leader’s city, and this all you’ve got?!? Dance more! Yeah! I’d expect nothing less from the city that made him!”

During Loveless this time, SND tried to kick ygarshy. And while SND was floundering on stage, being crazy as he bounced to the music, he hit ygarshy again. And he bumped into ygarshy on the way onto the stage after the encore break. ●Yuma came out wearing the new Hitorie sweatshirt to promo it today. SND questioned his capability perform through the heat, Yuma responded with guts to continue! SND “Well, you’re locked in now!” Crowd “You’re so cute~!!! Yumao~!! ” Yumao “Thanks~~” SND “How many times will we do this!? “So cute~~!!” “Thankies~~!” “Awww~~!” “Thanks. “ ●SND moaned and groaned with good means to back it up: the heat in the venue was crazy again. SND still holds the near-death Takutaku as the ultimate trauma but- It seems that wherever Rie journey to, the temperature outside rises up into the high 20’s. SND “Everywhere I go it suddenly gets hot, so people have started to call me Matsuo Kashuuzou. Yet the other members and the staff all come along too, so why am I the only one being framed? He’s not in me!” 　*Matsuo Kashuuzou, dubbed the fire fairy, is a former pro tennis player who has an optimistic flaming soul, abd never stops shouting things like “light it up!!” He was such fire that once upon a time on the internet he was memed to be the origin of urban heat island and global warming etc. ●Crowd “Did you eat Shirokuma ice cream?” (*A treat which is sold nationwide, but originated in Kagoshima). SND “No, but our cameraman Nishimaki did.” 　‘Nishimaki doesn’t tag along for the whole tour, typically he’s only around for the first and last shows. So Leader’s hometown really was a special one... ●Yumao took SND’s water bottle, gazed at the label and got the crowd to cheer the name of it: “Zaihou!” with him. “It’s a local but, famous mineral water provider. Cool.” Yu “Whoop” *Proceeds to throw the water bottle back at SND* ((What’s up with Yumao showing his wild side these days)) ●SND conveyed a sweet spot for the sashimi there, but since it’s something of taboo to eat such raw food up mid-country in Tokyo... “Don’t post what I just said on Twitter okay, the twitter police are out there, don’t expose that I eat food raw.” ●Yumao went up to the mic in the front but fairly quickly shifted back to his in the back; apparently because he wanted to be in range of the electric fan set up there. ●SND resisted drinking yesterday to preserve sober sanity before the concert, while next to him Yuma and yg were whole hog on “Beer! highball! beer!” “I now understand what it’s like to be on the other side, to be the one surrounded by drunks instead of being the loggerhead.” Yumao then begins combs his hair back with his fingers* “Ahh~~ so gwood~ delish~” SND “Is.. Is that supposed to be me?” Yumao “I’m topped off~” “Ahh I drank like a dream~~ *still holding his hair up*.” SND “Oi! If you’re gonna mimic me then at least raise the production value!!”

●SND “Alright Let’s perform” Crowd “Yumao you’re so cute~” Yu “Alrighty!” SND “You’re getting a life’s worth of cutes. In response to being showered in cuteness, all you have to say is ‘alrighty’ now?!?” Yu “..Alrighty!!” (Disclaimer: he was announcing that he was alright and ready to start). ●SND “ygarshy, you know what sandbags are, right? yga *Nods* SND “Apparently those are stuffed with a bunch of cloth, not sand?” yg ..... >>*BWWOOON*<<

SND’s tweet “Kagoshima concert: complete, that was crazy! How did you fare? I was fucking hot, thank you all so much. We will be back.” Also SND’s drawing was on display at the merchandise booth: https://en.deli-a.jp/products/item_Info.php?itemID=846

Nishimaki, the photographer, tweeted "It's been 6 or 7 years since I was last in Kagoshima, time well spent. Next is Fukuoka!!" Megane Hirai, Rie's trusty trusty sound engineer, went to the concert and posted this too:

“Many emotions were felt during the 2 days I spent Kagoshima As I watched each song, The way he strummed his guitar right adjacent to me The way I would jot critiques as he sung his lyrics from the other side of the glass The way I would hear him say “Then how about this!” as we practiced trial and error with each mix The sights from those days would come flooding back. There’s different feelings and means of acceptance For me, going forward, I’m going to keep supporting these four”.

12 Hitorie’s Hitori-Escape Tour, 10/25/2019 at SR Hall in Kagoshima prefecture

The concert was a musical marvel, Rie never cease to amaze... But I'm hopping right into the intermission chat. Because, after they left Kagoshima they stayed at a vacation lodge in Aso Kumamoto....!! Antics ensue! Shinoda “The sheer amount of flying ants the size of peanuts out there left me squealing, I’m really bad with bugs, but they didn’t faze Yumao at all” Yu “In the end it's only ants? No matter the size, right? And then I was bored, and also the air in the room was suffocating so...” SND “This fucker started opening the windows!” Yu: “Yeah I opened them all up.” SND: “One guy who hates bugs and another who hated the indoor air, the worst combo.“ Yu “Ultimately we BOTH started sneezing like crazy and closed them though.” Yu “I'm exhausted though. The goal was to go there for a vacation, but, cause I drank too much the day before or whatever, I played around so much..! Do you know how attics in the log lodges are like? A bunch of pillars? Of wood? coming together? What are they called? *Makes hand gestures to try to shape it out*" Crowd “Beams!” Yu “Yeah, beams! I dangled and swung from the beams up in the lodge roof. When yga walked through the door, he was in for it! “What a surprise~”, he laughed after he got a spook!” SND “Yumao was like a monkey.” Yu “It sounds like I was the only one playing around but, this guy! He doesn’t talk about it much in front of you, hey he doesn’t talk about it much in front of us either but. ygarshy was jumping all over the beds! From asocial to bouncy. He was playing around more than us!” SND “As soon as we came back to our 3 bed lounge after a drink with the crew, I see these two bouncing on them. yga looked like a fish the way he was twisting his body.“ Yu “He still had his usual emotionless expression, even when he was beautifully bending." SND “He played a lot eh? He had the damndest smile when he took fireworks in his hands…” Yu “He’s so mean sometimes, he smirkingly creeped up behind Shinoda and stuck fireworks right against his ankles! It took SND a bit to notice, but when he did... Boy did he scream! And yg doubled up with laughter!” Yu “It had been raining outside then too, so we were doing them under the small awning outside. When SND realized what ygarshy was scheming, he had ran away shouting “It’s hot it’s hot!!”, but then found himself shouting ‘It’s cold!!!’ out in the rain.” SND “I was hit with hot and cold element attacks both at once.” Yu “Don’t do try this at home now!” SND “Ahh yg don’t look so gloomy! Seriously we have no idea how you’re feeling over there....” Yu “He laughed the most back when he saw me dangling though~!!” SND “That’s why we're saying yg, stop looking down, put your chin up!” ●SND “So uhhh, ygarsh, please share with us a few words about the Fukuoka Soft Bank Hawks victory!” yg *>>BWOOON<<* 　*The Hawks are the pro baseball team of the prefecture, and they just won the entire Japan Series that week. They’ve won for the past 5 years straight now too. ●Cameraman posted the “Early winter fireworks”.

●Rie’s manager too posted: The Kagoshima live, Kumamoto Aso, the Fukuoka live. Fireworks to bring the summer to a close. So many things to make our venture to Kyuushuu a heart-wrenching one. Good night😴💤 ●SND’s tweet: Fukuoka concert: complete, thank you. Baritone felt great to do today. I think it's been a long time since I last played on a high stage,,, Or has it been? Has it? Nonetheless I performed with my feelings at full power. Thank you so much.

13 Hitorie’s Hitori-Escape Tour, 11/6/2019 at LIQUIDROOM in Tokyo prefecture. The first one.

From 7 years ago till now, our dreams are still relentlessly crying out their first words evermore!!

●Yuma’s mom, Yurika was spotted at the venue! The family of two does live in Chofu of Tokyo after all.. Tabuchi of Unison Square Garden too. They sat in VIP seats. ●There were flower bouquets on display inside the lobby, one from fans and another from the Hitori-Atelier staff. ●Among some of SND's snazzy mid-show quotes were him screaming “A banger? An epic masterpiece? That's what you're about to hear... Karanowaremono, a present from Leader.”

●“I think I might be getting too old for this.” *Proceeds to do heartfelt vibratos, physical tricks, and giggle tons during the encore break! They didn't talk about the DVD which had released two days prior, but they did delve into some Hitorie history.... yga had recruited SND, who within 0.5 seconds of being contacted said “I'm in!” He didn’t know wowa’s face back then so he was nervous, but when the crew got on a skype chat and wo shared the first mp3 files, SND thought “This is the start of a revolution”... He was excited then, and that excitement lives on. ●SND “It’s been like, so long since I’ve last performed in Tokyo. Yumao you’re out doin’ truckloads of stuff, ygarsh you're doing the Wasure-whatever stuff.. But all I do is draw manga! I’m either stuck at home or in another part of the country! The last show we did here in Liquidroom was the nexUs with Passpied, and our last solo one was, 5 years ago?" Yu “Yeah, the one with a video up on Youtube, back when I was still performing in T-shirts instead of dress shirts.” ●Yu "At our first tour date you were so nervous about singing weren't cha SND. You were like 'Don't put me on the same level as you guys, work harder...’ But now you're fine haha! ...I've started to tease SND. SND "Though backstage I tease you." Yu "When? :O " SND "....Thinking about it, I don't really, do I-." ●They talked a little more in detail about their "relaxing" retreat to the Aso resort, which they had first mentioned in the Kagoshima MC up there ↑ . yg came out of the bathroom, to see the back of strange black-haired drunk swinging from the wooden beams of their remote cottage. He was so scared! Until he realized the perpetrator was a restless Yumao. ●The story of when the trio were lighting firework sparklers and yga stuck them against SND’s ankles. SND “I didn’t even notice the flames until brown hair came into my line of sight.” Yu “And yg even had his phone ready! He recorded the entirety of SND's panic: from him running away from the heat right into the rain, to him shouting out there in cold.” SND “Ain’t he a freak psycho killer.... What are you even thinking about as you listen to us right now.” …Awkward silence. yg remains.

●Yu “In the cottage we were watching Mito Kōmon, the historical drama, ‘cause it was coincidentally playing on TV. Komon is supposed to be this hero of justice yet, he was taking down enemies with real underhanded tactics, it got SND and I cackling so hard. We kept calling out 'Ahh so underhanded! So underhanded!’ yga had been silent so I we assumed he wasn’t watching... But when the end credits hit, he spoke up to tell us “That was entertaining”. SND “So he actually was watching! I thought.” Yu “He does tell us things like ‘Today’s MC chat was long’ after shows too.” SND “Then you do it nice and concise yourself, I say!” ygarsh then turns his face to look right at SND* SND “What are you looking at... Wait, don’t look at me with those sparkly eyes...! Don't, don't...!!” ●Yu “Ahh. We haven't changed a bit huh…. I’m always like ‘wooAHHH! *💪 poses*’ levels of excited, SND is like ‘OY VEY SHUT UP!!’, and yg silently watches over us." ●Before they went back into the show Yumao promoted the merch. He uses the pouch to store his drum supplies, he likes it a lot, and he modeled too. To show us how the logo gets covered by the hood on the sweatshirt, he pulled it over and off~ over and off~ his head.

●Then the usual... SND “As soon as we get home and already, Masashi Tashiro got arrested again, did you hear?“ yg *>>BWOON<<* 　*SND is using the news for this one. The celeb has gotten arrested countless times now for drug possession. He'd gone to rehab, and recently he’d been publishing books/posting videos/doing lectures to teach people about the horrors of meth but.. He's truly proving how fearful it is.. SND tweet: Tokyo concert: complete, thank you so much. Being up on the Liquidroom stage after so long moved my heart. We’ll be at Liquidroom again next week, hope to see you there. Though Takamatsu comes first!!

#super long post #hitorie

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jcmorrigan · 5 years

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I agree with your Sora rant. It's like they were so busy shoving SoKai down our throats (not that I'm against Kairi but it seriously effected her character too) that the Sora we know got lost.

You’re right, but there’s actually more to it than that. You know what? I’m gonna spell out my Sora rant here and give it the proper tags so I can get this opinion out there.

The forced romance is perhaps the most offensive of the missteps, and I love both Sora and Kairi so much that it hurts to see how they got wrecked by it. I’ll touch upon how that affected Sora here, but trust me, its effect on Kairi was horrible in a completely different way. I think we all know how well that went. The thing is, I’m basically a SoRiku or bust type of person, but I’m also a ship-and-let-ship sort. Up until now, the KH series did a good job at building great friendships that had subtext all over, and people were allowed to choose without much argument. Did you want to ship SoKai? SoRiku? RokuShi? RokuNami? NamiShi? TerrAqua? Nothing’s stopping you! I just…don’t believe canon shipping belongs in Kingdom Hearts when it comes to characters who aren’t on the Disney side of the spectrum (obviously I wouldn’t want to remove the Aladdin/Jasmine or Ariel/Eric plots, which are not only important to the films’ integrity but also time-tested successes that mean things to those who grew up with those films).

But let’s talk about Sora first and foremost, and I’m actually going to save the SoKai for last. Because there’s more to talk about here. I went back over cutscene comps from both III and DDD for a little experiment. I’m just going to describe things in text here, but trust me, the images speak for themselves if you want to look them up. I used DDD as my “control” for Sora as it was, before III, the latest Sora in time – the one who had developed most as a character. I have yet to test 1, CoM, or II against III, but they shouldn’t matter as much as DDD, as DDD features a Sora who’s grown through the characterization in all of those games. III should have built on DDD.

Let’s go.

THE THEME OF FRIENDSHIP AND KINDNESS

Sora in DDD is a firm believer in the power of friendship. No, seriously, he mentions it every five minutes to the point where it’s easily parodied. And, in fact, canon does so in an important way. The scene that stands out to me is his arrival in Traverse Town, where he meets Neku Sakuraba and immediately decides they’re friends. Neku scoffs, saying it’s impossible for them to be friends after a short time and telling Sora that he can’t trust every stranger he meets.

Why this stands out to me is because it actually turns out to be a mistake on Neku’s part rather than a pointing out of a legitimate criticism of Sora. And given exactly what this criticism was about – namely, forming positive bonds and devoting yourself to caring about another person, with your best foot forward – I think this was actually a great little arc for Sora and Neku to go through. Neku turns out to be after his own agenda, willing to trick Sora in order to get it, though he regrets he has to do so. Sora forgives him once he knows that Neku just wanted to reunite with Shiki. After all, people do crazy things for their friends, and that’s okay. When Sora collides with Neku, he brings with him a concept Neku is unfamiliar with. Knowing Neku from original TWEWY canon, Neku’s core is about learning to come out of his shell of negativity and see the value in others and the world around him. Sora is hitting him with the extreme of this result – an ideal where every stranger is a friend you haven’t met yet, and kindness always pays off. This seems impossible for Neku, but by the end of that first Traverse Town visit, he learns that Sora was right to bring him this message. Neku is better off now for knowing someone who was willing to put that much trust in him and help him out with a seemingly impossible task, and now he can pass a little piece of that on to someone else.

I think that’s a cool message for us to take into real life. It’s obviously not applicable in the literal sense. Not everyone’s gonna get along, and there are people out there who will have ethical divides we can’t bridge. But for that reason, it’s wonderful to have an escapist fantasy where every new person you meet brings new value to your life, and it’s nice to take just a little bit of that attitude into your life – why not think the best of new people?

This theme continues throughout DDD. Sora declares himself friends with most of the people he meets, and Mickey is even the first to bring this up in Symphony of Sorcery, already feeling that they have a connection that will go places. Beyond that, Sora is always volunteering to assist. When Neku mentions he’s having trouble with the Reaper’s Game, Sora admits he doesn’t have any idea what Neku’s talking about, but he sees a problem and asks if he can help. This is how he approaches pretty much everyone in DDD. He sees people in trouble or people struggling emotionally and he offers a hand or a listening ear.

Contrast his actions in Corona and you’ll find a stark difference. He barely invests in introducing himself to Rapunzel or Eugene, regarding them pleasantly enough but not really inviting them into his circle. It’s in fact Eugene that breaks the ice here, deciding the SDG trio is now his “sidekicks.”

Where this feels offensive is when Sora contests this label on multiple occasions. I might be all right with this if it were a playful competition for who is labeled the brains of the operation, the way that II Sora would declare himself good enough to be king or decide he’s cut out for pirate life. However, it seems more like Sora is legitimately angry that Eugene decided not only to rope Sora into an unknown mission but also set him as the second banana. This couldn’t be more different from the Neku interaction in such a bizarre way. DDD Sora would protest a little at being sidekick, but say he’s happy to help anyway and that he’s glad to have met “Flynn.” (Sidenote: Eugene himself is wonderful during this scene, and Zachary Levi kills the delivery in such a way that you really do know he was hyped to be involved with this franchise. I think that kind of distracted me from seeing these problems at first.)

Eugene goes on to explain that he’s bringing Rapunzel to see the floating lights because she really, really wants it to the point of it being her “dream.” He then says that he can be the guide through the forest if Sora, Donald, and Goofy take care of the Heartless. To this, Donald says that they are heroes, and Goofy backs them up that they’re Heartless experts. Sora offers nothing but a “Leave it to us.”

There’s no mention of helping Rapunzel achieve her dream, or knowing what it’s like to have one. They’re not doing this out of kindness. They’re doing this because “We’re heroes.” Because it’s an obligation. Because it’s the “right thing” to do, and that’s what they always do. There’s no passion behind this commitment at all. Now, for Donald, I buy it. Donald has always been a Jerk With a Heart of Gold. It’s his charm. Goofy? A little more suspect. Goofy is all heart and sympathy with a clumsy exterior, but then again, there’s a lot of room for interpretation with him. Sora, though? Think back to Neku or later Rhyme. Sora should be jumping at the opportunity to help Rapunzel achieve her dream.

Which brings us to the next and larger flaw…

INTERNAL VS. EXTERNAL FOCUS

Sora’s character in DDD is almost fully focused on what’s going on around him. He arrives in Traverse Town to find the TWEWY cast there and suffering their own problems. So he jumps right into the fray to help out. Every move he makes is directed by what he needs to do in order to help them: find Rhyme, chase the black-coated man, trust Neku. He came here in the first place to unlock a Sleeping World, but that seems to Sora to be a secondary agenda to what’s going on with that world’s denizens.

This keeps true with the other worlds he visits. Every time, he has a job: unlock the Keyhole. But he doesn’t gun right for that Keyhole. He instead immerses into what’s going on around him. Quasimodo was frightened away from the Feast of Fools, so let’s deal with that. Mickey is hypnotized in a dream, so let’s get a Sound Idea to defeat the Spellican and wake him up. Why are we after a Spellican, anyway? Because the people in a world we already visited need to beat it in order to complete the Reaper’s Game, which has ZERO to do with our quest. Sora almost never focuses on himself, but instead on the others around him.

This is seen from the very beginning. When he and Riku meet with Yen Sid, Yen Sid points out that they need to earn Mastery. Two important things happen here. First of all, Sora does stick up for himself and claim he’s good enough – very confidently and sincerely. He knows he’s good enough for Mastery and has no question about it. Save this for later. Second, when it becomes clear that Riku has doubts, Sora’s focus shifts immediately. It’s no longer about “Why test me?” but about “My friend thinks he can’t pass, but I know he can, so I need to help both him and our teacher realize that.” And even though he immerses himself in the problems of so many others throughout DDD, not a single world passes without him bringing up how much he couldn’t do this without Riku and he believes in Riku. Sora’s heart encompasses everyone, but if you’re his friend, you get a SPECIAL place and you don’t get lost in the shuffle (and this game is actually what really put me on the SoRiku ship so hard).

Now, let’s look at III. Sora’s quest begins because he has been stripped of his abilities, which is a must-have for any new game starring him so the player can level up in the process. It’s game design. But this has happened to Sora in three other games: CoM, II, and DDD. In all of those, not much focus is given to this device, and he just goes about learning his abilities as they come. However, this time, where it’s never happened before, Sora is suddenly fixated on how “weak” he is without his powers. His quest begins because he seeks to get stronger and achieve the Power of Waking. The story structure is awkward overall regarding the Power of Waking, as every interlude features Yen Sid reminding Sora of its importance and Sora acknowledging it without any real progress being made toward his learning it.

When Sora arrives on Olympus with this in mind, the difference is horribly stark from the way he approaches Traverse Town in DDD. When he reunites with Hercules (which has considerably less sentiment than the similar scene in II), he doesn’t really talk about being gung-ho about saving Thebes from destruction. He kinda just points out that this is Hades’ doing and gets to work. With Neku, he talked sincerely about how he wanted to help. Here, again, it seems out of obligation: I’m a hero. It’s what I do.

Moreover, there’s now so much focus on his lost power. He fixates on it. Asking Hercules about it in the middle of Thebes’ collapse is…not the worst of sins, but a little odd. The rest of this world, however, is scene after scene of Sora reacting to his loss of power rather than the destruction around him and the connections he can forge. A particularly telling scene is when Pete teases him about his lost power, and Sora is hurt. Another is where an original NPC is saved by Sora and taunts him about not being as good as Hercules, and Sora is offended. While this is relatable to the player audience, it doesn’t quite jive with the Sora who proclaimed he didn’t need Mastery because he knew he was good enough and who started three other games at square one without being bothered. This is also the first time since DDD we’ve had a plot where Sora’s conflict revolves around what’s going on inside himself rather than integrating into the environment around him.

It’s not a bad thing to put characters through the paces with self-examination. However, Sora was fully self-actualized as of DDD. The writers actively and consciously set him a step back for III and undid his own development. This is potentially to make him seem more “dynamic” and “three-dimensional” when it really just doesn’t feel like Sora.

This gets incredibly insulting when over the course of that one world alone, Sora learns pretty much every new ability needed for this game except the Power of Waking. So Pete’s insult really only stung for about an hour and then became moot.

Corona also stands out to me because there, Sora doesn’t interact much with Rapunzel upon meeting her. What he does do is hang back with Donald and Goofy and talk about how he knows how she feels, being scared of the world…which he transitions into talking about how Donald and Goofy really helped him during his scary time. Notice what’s missing here? Any engagement of Rapunzel in this conversation and an attempt to bridge their gap by connecting over this shared experience. Sora has taken Rapunzel’s problem and used it to talk about his own instead. Why is this especially odd? Because the factor here being sympathized over is “fear of the outside world” and being confined until you get thrust into a bigger adventure. In DDD, Quasimodo embodied the same concept. Instead of making Quasimodo’s problem about himself, Sora took it upon himself to use his experience to inspire Quasimodo, encouraging him to step outside the cathedral walls and not give up on his dreams.

As for his close friends, you will every now and then get a scene that compares something he sees to a memory of a friend – Elsa and Anna remind him of both Riku and Kairi. But he doesn’t talk about how they affect him at all. And in a game that both follows up on the Riku worship of DDD and is determined to shoehorn a Kairi romance into the ending sequence, both of these characters should be coming to Sora’s lips a lot more. He should be talking about how “You remind me of someone I know – I should introduce you!” or “You know you can count on your canon friend because Riku and Kairi helped me through these hard times.” Even using Donald and Goofy in that role would make more sense, but they seem more tacked on than anything.

SORA’S ENTHUSIASM

Sora in DDD is awed by every new experience. Look no further than the first Traverse Town visit, yet again, where he first sees the new districts and cries out “Never been this way before! Ooh, what’s that?”. This is a town he spent a long time in over the course of KH1, and the prospect of finding a new street in a familiar place is magical to him.

Compare Corona again. When he comes upon Rapunzel’s tower, he does remark, “Wow, a tower!”, but in a very deflated tone compared to his excitement over Traverse Town. And if Quinton Flynn’s delivery is anything to go by, this was the one game in years where the voice actors could finally have free reign without having to struggle to match lip movements. (Seriously, track Quinton’s voice acting performance over the course of the series. It’s a hilarious fluctuation between flawlessness in II and III and utter crashing and burning in every interquel.)

More condemning, however, is his reaction to the kingdom of Corona itself. This comes from a personal place. Corona is one of my favorite Disney environments. I’ve always wished I could visit it because it’s designed so beautifully. When Sora beholds the island from afar, he says…nothing. It’s Rapunzel who remarks how she’s finally close to her dream, and she thanks Sora for getting her here. He still says nothing. This experience suddenly isn’t interesting to him at all.

Sora’s silence is an interesting phenomenon. During DDD, he’s constantly self-narrating. He chats with other characters a lot. He even says some lines that are a little superfluous, indicating where he wants to go next and basically spelling out where the player should turn their attention by talking about what in the area is interesting. But that fits with his enthusiastic character.

In III, he’s quieter. Obviously, giving him party members Donald and Goofy back means he has to divide his dialogue, but there’s a lot of space where they get more to say than he does. (Possibly a disagreement between Disney and Square over whose characters should have more screen time? Please take this theory with a grain of salt.) And then you have scenes like approaching Corona, where he just doesn’t say a word to Rapunzel. Not a “You’re welcome” or an “I’m glad we got you to your dream” or ANYTHING. It’s like he not only doesn’t care about seeing a new place, but doesn’t care about how much it means to his new friend. Which is heartbreaking compared to his previous behavior.

Also, his smiles are less often and less sincere. A nervous smile he gives Frollo when trying not to get in trouble is happier and brighter than a legitimate smile he gives Eugene when promising to guide Rapunzel to Corona, and when Eugene says he “couldn’t have done it without my sidekicks,” Sora doesn’t even smile at him.

One other thing to note – I actually did catch this as a little odd on my first III playthrough, but compounded with this, it now seems very suspect. The Monstropolis transformation is the first time Sora has found one of his own transformations ugly/frightening. In the past, he’s barely minded becoming a merman, a lion, a digital program…and, in the case of Halloween Town, which he visited twice, a literal monster. There’s no reason he should be more frightened of himself in Monstropolis than Halloween Town. Moreover, it implies he finds the monsters of Monstropolis creepier than anyone else he’s met – including the talking lions, the living skeleton, the Beast, the Disney anthros, the animate puppet, the merpeople, and the card soldiers. (You seriously think we’re not keeping track?)

THE FORCED ROMANCE PLOT

Now, however, it’s time to talk about the largest nail in the Sora coffin: the last-minute SoKai plot.

Like I said earlier, I wouldn’t have wanted any shipping plot here whatsoever. But let’s say it absolutely had to get done. Think back to KH1 or even II. In the first game, Kairi manifests as hallucinations for Sora, indicating that he thinks of her often. In II, he has flashbacks to her that are a little more involved and creative than just “Eugene hugging Rapunzel makes me think of Kairi’s face.” His reunion scenes with her in both feature actual conversations. And there’s also plenty of focus on Riku. Sora has two hands and two friends. Even if Kairi must be the love interest, Riku never gets the short end because of it. Sora will still cross the abyss to find him, sending Kairi home safe to the Destiny Islands so he can keep looking for a way to free Riku of his dark prison.

In III, we’re strangely devoid of any reference to either of them besides short flashbacks. And since we’re focusing on Kairi, we’ll talk about her. Sora doesn’t even meet up with her between training sessions. She writes him letters she doesn’t send. They don’t even communicate until endgame triggers. Then, all of a sudden, she initiates the paopu. This is after having no communication for a LONG time, and we have no indication Sora had thought about her on his journey despite a few flashbacks. The paopu is supposed to unite your fates for life, and Sora just rushes right into it.

This is where it should’ve really started to sink in that the SoKai romance was just a series of rushed death flags to get you sad when Kairi finally got slashed. Why they went with the Kairi “death” still escapes me, but if I had to guess, I’d say that ever since Aerith Gainsborough’s death made everyone flabbergasted, Square Enix has been trying to pull the same gambit in order to capture that lightning in a bottle. Take a look at Lunafreya Nox Fleuret for evidence that supports this theory.

Every interaction Sora has with her from that point onward is far too hamfisted. When he tries to shield her from an incoming attack, it’s by hugging her. When in any and all other instances in the past, Sora would at least be savvy enough to leap in front of a person with Keyblade braced. (You can’t count on Goofy to do that for you all the time, bro.) When he flies with her through a void of little importance to get back to the Keyblade Graveyard, he tells her “I feel strong with you” even though they’ve fought together a total of once, and they both literally died in the attempt. Not even together. There is no reason for him to say he feels strong with her; we’ve never seen her make him strong. We’ve seen her appeal to his heart, listen to him, vow to protect him and be strong when he can’t, work to reunite him with Riku, sympathize with his goals, chat and laugh with him. There are so many other themes you could pick here and they went right for the one that makes the least sense but the most automatic association with romance in a “tell-don’t-show” space. Kairi “holding him together” in the Final World is a completely skippable fact for some reason, and also is not anything any mortal should be able to do by KH logic as of yet.

Then, finally, he watches Kairi die, and it breaks him. And it sure broke the audience and got them talking, all right, but not about how great Aerith 3.0 was. (Note: still unconfirmed on that theory.) Sora’s a big old mess of angry tears, all right. And this directly leads to him exiting stage left at the end of the story because he has to find Kairi alone.

So the romance was forced rather than fleshed in order to build up to a shocking scene, relying upon keywords to initiate clichés rather than showing any actual buildup of communication, teamwork, or trust. We can all see how this negatively affected Kairi; essays have already been composed. But how does this turn SORA for the worse?

Well, for one, his sudden laser focus on Kairi makes him unable to really care for anyone else. Riku gets the worst of it. I absolutely hated how, after the first mass murder via Demon Tornado, Sora cried to Riku that “all” of his friends had died and he had no one left. We all know that scene was playing up Kairi. He was crying over Kairi. And in doing so, he happened to imply to Riku that Riku wasn’t valuable enough to be as missed as those lost. Sora lost them “all.” The fact that Riku is there doesn’t mean anything. He has no one left. He has Riku. Riku is no one. Later, when Kairi is lost out there, Sora eschews Riku’s help completely, which is probably to set the stage for whatever installment comes next. However, like the rest of the SoKai scenes, this is rushed, so much so that it sounds like Sora is just disregarding Riku’s counsel entirely and has decided to abandon him in favor of seeking Kairi. Not to mention everyone else in that scene.

Then the fact that Sora gives in to proclaiming it’s love so fast gives me some bad vibes. Kairi hasn’t done much to engage with him on an emotional level as of recently. It almost seems shallow for him to accept the paopu under those circumstances – like he’s a teenage boy chasing a pretty girl rather than a friend acknowledging a friend as more than a friend. And that’s how it looks to me through the rest of the ending sequence. (If you know who my favorite DanganRonpa character is, you can see how I might be used to looking for the signs of this phenomenon.) Think of this in conjunction for how Sora has failed to be other-focused and instead looking to increase his own strength and confidence. Is he ready to give everything up to Kairi? Is he the kind of person who she could count on? He would’ve been in DDD. He also would’ve been the sort of person to balance this out with his friendship with Riku.

The Sora I knew had some growing up to do, but by DDD, he’s self-actualized. He’s confident in his own abilities, even if he has to start from square one. Now his primary motivation is to help others with their problems, especially if those people are his close friends, for whom he is ride or die. Every new experience is magic to him. As of III, Sora now seems insecure, focused on himself, and distant from his friends, including the one he actually does “die” for. The worlds he visits and the friends he makes are means to an end, and hold less magic to him than before, even standing out as negatively bizarre in some cases. III’s Sora does not feel like the same person at all, and this groundwork was laid ingame long before he accepted Kairi’s paopu.

#sora #kingdom hearts critical #kh critical #kingdom hearts iii critical

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angel-of-death-2015 · 5 years

Note

A,F, H and U

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

My ships that I really like right now are:

Connorline: Aveline de Grandpré x Ratonhnhaké:ton from Assassin’s Creed

Rojorave: Miguel Caballero Rojo x Master Raven from Tekken

Blackjac: Erron Black x Jacqui Briggs from Mortal Kombat

Talisto: Talia x Mephisto from LoliRock

Lukanette: Marinette Dupain-Cheng x Luka Coffaine (I forgot how to spell his last name) from Miraculous Ladybug (even though I left the show and most of the fandom)

Favorite BOTP:

Hanzo Hasashi/Scorpion and Kuai Liang/Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat

Juleka Coffaine and Marinette Dupain-Cheng from Miraculous Ladybug

Kagami Tsurugi and Marinette Dupain-Cheng from Miraculous Ladybug

Kabal and Erron Black from Mortal Kombat

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

This is actually a tough question. I��d say the longest I’ve been in a fandom has been since 2013 in Tekken and a little longer in the Sonic the Hedgehog fandoms.

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

It’s gotta be from tv shows, books, and movies to a certain extent. TV shows are pretty much right there and aren’t really sourced anywhere else like they’re gonna be put into a book you know? But if it’s under a circumstance like books getting adapted into movies, then you gotta stick with the text most of the time because a lot of movies usually stray away from the source from the book and turn into something completely different.

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ME ANSWER SUCH A HARD QUESTION ROOTY? WHY???

Jacqui Briggs from Mortal Kombat: Listen, I FELL IN LOVE WITH HER WHEN I SAW HER OKAY??? SUE ME. She’s such a BEAUTIFUL character! She’s literally the daughter of an OG character and she just wants to join the military to keep Earthrealm safe and keep her dad safe. Not only is she a fun, witty character, she looks like me. I love her because she looks like me. And on top of that, she actually has a great best friend and has a canon non-white love interest! HE LITERALLY CALLED HER BEAUTIFUL IN THE MIDDLE OF A BATTLE WHEN SHE THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA GO BLIND AFTER ACID WAS SPAT IN HIS FACE! I’m super protective over her because of the blatant racism and misogynoir she faces from the fandom. I’ve seen people make her super OOC in fanfics just so that they can ship Takeda with Cassie, Jin, or somebody else and just state that she’s asexual just because. Now, Jacqui being asexual isn’t a problem. The problem was that people straight up labeled her as that all because she’s black and isn’t supposed to have a love interest because “she don’t need no man”. And even though I have my crack ship with her and Erron, people are gonna have to pry my Jakeda from my cold, dead hands.

Aveline de Grandpré from Assassin’s Creed: Again I FELL IN LOVE WITH HER. She’s such an underrated assassin despite being the first black female assassin ever! I love how her story actually fits with who she is as a character. I just wish that her game was longer because even though her entire plot is good, you can still feel some holes there and it would’ve been much more powerful if more things were added into her story. Plus, have you seen a lady beat the shit outta muggers and colonizers and slave owners in an 18th century dress??? And looking good in it??? Like Jacqui, she’s been treated poorly by the fans and the developers and people keep dis-crediting her because her game wasn’t on a huge main console. Plus she makes more sense as an assassin because of her disguises. What’s the use of being secretive if donning your assassin robes every time you go to out to kill somebody? Part of being secretive is blending in with the crowd and that’s the one thing that Aveline does with her outfits. I just love her and want more to be done with her. I’m trying to do more with my fanfics and fanarts despite my progress but I gotta start somewhere! And you should hear her OST. IT’S FUCKING FIRE.

Aqua from Kingdom Hearts: I looooove this girl! She’s super cute and actually fun to play with! She, along with Terra and Ven truly deserve better. After she lost Terra and Ven in their own ways, homegirl was left in the darkness for about eleven years. I’ll never forgive Mickey’s bitch ass for leaving her there and forgetting about her. Aqua bent over backwards to try to save her friends and her home from Master Xehanort and had to fight off illusions of happiness in the realm of darkness. I still haven’t finished KH3 yet, but I know that she reunites with Terra and they all have a happy ending. It’s what Aqua deserves after being manipulated by Master Xehanort and having to lose Master Eraqus, Terra, and Ven. These three were one of the three trios that technically didn’t get a happy ending and the villain won. So I’m all for Aqua getting the happiness she deserves. I really wanna cosplay her but I need to find blue hair that I’ll actually wear on a daily basis and not just for cosplaying for one day. I’d wear a wig but my scalp doesn’t agree with any wigs that I wear.

#angel answers #mortal kombat #lolirock #assassin’s creed #miraculous ladybug #tekken #kingdom hearts

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survivor-tierradelfuego · 4 years

Text

Ep. 4: “Oh the classic dilemma of Survivor.” - Leanne

Ryan

I'm going to be honest, I'm not really gonna miss Tyler. I feel less bad about kicking him out now that I know he's played before. He was kinda cocky and reclusive- that's not the vibe we need in our tribe.

Najwah

I'm actually upset and really annoyed that no one else is willing to move their times so I can play too? And no one even acknowledged my message lol I started this game under the impression that people from all over the world would participate but instead I'm in a group with a bunch of Americans and I have to adjust my times EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. It is a lot. I feel like quitting. I mean what's the point? I've been struggling with depression for such a long time, it's been amplified by this Lockdown and being part of something, this whole make believe game brought me some kind of joy. Some light. However, being blatantly over looked and left out because its convenient for everyone else kinda sucks. I'm overlooked and left out of everything in real life too. I don't think this game is good for my mental health actually. I feel worthless and like shit and the person I thought had my back the most, Leanne, seems to be the most annoyed with me. She isnt even replying to me in our one on one chat. Guess she got everything she wanted out of me hey? I don't know whether any of this extra stress coupled with sleepless nights and zero concentration when doing my work is worth it?

Zack M

here i come again, carrying the tribe on my back like i always do. (dolly parton reference to "here you come again" ... available on spotify for those who don't know) this is the second time in a row that i stepped up for the team while everyone else was silent. like it's cool. i don't mind doing it for them as long as we win. it's not fair for me to be labeled as a threat because i do my best .... and that best happens to be sometimes better. idk. i'm just here to play. i don't feel the same drive from my teammates. yes. that's it. i'm here to play to win. they just want to win. nothing is going to change for me. i'm going to do every challenge. i'm going to come with the big moves. i'm going to hurt some feelings along the way. but i need to stay in the game to be able to do that. i'm truly scared i'm going to be blindsided if we don't win. COUGH COUGH IM SCARED IM GOING TO BE BLINDSIDED IF WE DONT WIN AND I DONT HAVE AN IMMUNITY IDOL FROM THE WISHING TREE COUGH COUGH ..... i could really use a wish right now (wish right now).

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovDd3CLqYos

Leanne

Have ya heard the news? Our tribe finally won a challenge! This is great news, and not just for the obvious, game/numbers related reasons. The night results were announced my Skype didn’t go off all night. All, night. I think there was a block of at least 12 hours straight I wasn’t looking at it. There was that gaming voice in my head that now and then would urge, you know, you really ought to check in with Aimee and see what she’s up to. You know, you had a conversation with James the other day, you better try building that up. But honestly, these last few days have been so peaceful I just didn’t want to. It was too nice being off line LOL. Of course, there still remains the difficulty that I still don’t know where the target is going to land. I had a check in with the “trio”... Ben and Zach. It was “I don’t know” all around. One of them said that the first person who threw out a name would probably be made a target themselves. So no one will talk about that, seemingly, until we lose. Of course, my individual preferences haven’t changed. I’d still like to see either Cody or Sarah go. Leaning toward Sarah at the moment because she seems more feasible. She wasn’t at our last tribal, she hadn’t checked in for a little while, and when we were getting ready to do the challenge last night most of us thought she wouldn’t be around. I was really hoping she wouldn’t show so that I could make a stronger case for that. Precedent shows that lack of presence is the go-to way to get yourself voted out. And I really don’t know who she’s with, if anyone. I haven’t really talked to her. Maybe I’ll float that idea to people today. Instinct tells me that I should get in before the challenge results are announced, because afterward, if we lose, people will be scrambling, and it could land most anywhere. But if I’m too aggressive with this I could be the one throwing names out there and it could backfire. Oh the classic dilemma of Survivor. In other news, Najwah and I have been working together on the idol hunt. She’s been talking to Cody, I’ve been talking to Zach, and so the question we are pondering is whether they’re giving us trustworthy information, both about the search and the game at large. I actually do believe that we’ve been completely upfront with each other and at this point I trust her as completely as anyone can trust in this game. She continues to be my very best ally and I hope we can keep working closely together as this goes on. It’s only hitting me now how hard it is to form impressions of the other tribe based on the info we have. I’ve been reviewing some of the tribal’s, there’s from yesterday and our last one, and the answers are canned enough and United enough that nothing is really said. Everyone in this cast knows we are here to play a social game, and that means not saying stupid things and trying not to make enemies, especially in these early stages. They look strong and unified. They had an easy vote and seem to like each other, which is very much to be expected. I can’t really gleam any subtext from what I saw. Odds are we are just as hard to read for them. We’ll just have to wait and see come merge time, or possibly swap time? At their tribal the question said there was “talk” of that as well. Here’s hoping I’m not the Johnny come lately to that discourse. But even if it is looming, not much to do about it till you get there. I don’t think that’s something you can necessarily pregame for. So there you have it. It’s been a refreshingly peaceful several days and let’s hope it continues. These results could go either way, and if it doesn’t go the way we want, well, then the game switches into the next gear. That would make me very worried for our numbers down the line, but more immediately we are probably all worried about our place at that point. I have no idea what will happen.

Ryan

I am not very happy by the fact that I will have no control in the fate of our tribe.I'm happy we voted Tyler out unanimously, he was someone we all, especially Pedro and I, agreed on very early. it's gonna be tough now moving forward, but I know who I don't want to vote out

Pedro A

So Today we have the challenge....Im scared if we go to tribal idk who will go

Alan B

Yes! I'm so glad we won - the next vote for our tribe is gonna be a tough one, i really hope making the only mistakes during this challenge doesnt come back to bite me! we won right how bad could it be...

Pedro A

WEEEE WONNNN....stream CLC, RED VELVET AND BLACKPINK...you know why?....cause we have the night offffff.....

Amy A

Another night off 🎉🎉🎉. I’m so ecstatic because there’s no name coming up for vote 2 yet so it could literally be anyone even though I think my alliances with people will carry me through. My alliance with Ryan and Pedro is still strong and I have secret alliances w Maddison, John, and Grae even though Grae’s is more shaky. Im going to go sleep with no worry in my mind at all. Maybe except for a tribe swap. Maola ROCKS and seeing us divided will break me 😭😭

Kalle N

I recently found out that John has been telling almost everyone that he trusts them 100% and not just me so I'm working on making a big move to get him out next time we go to tribal (even though I love him and he has been one of my closest allies this entire game). He's just too charming and close with everyone

Maddison

Hi confessional. Really hoping I didn’t just brand myself a threat during that challenge but I’m glad I could redeem myself from the telephone game. I’ve had new people want to work with me within the thirty minutes following, and I can’t tell yet how legitimate their inquiries are. But hey, that’s Survivor.

Zack M

jesus christ. there is so much going on right now. we lost again. whomp whomp. but again, i like losing. it let's me know where everyone's head is at. i'll face the consequences later. i want to flush the idol out but no one seems to be with me. i think either aimee or leanne has it. i want to say aimee to leanne and najwah and leanne to aimee because i know they will tell each other, one of them will use it, and then cody sarah ben james and i vote najwah. bye idol. bye to one of their numbers. 2 against 5, there's nothing they can do. BUT NO. so then najwah reaches out to me and calls me the tribe leader. LOLOLOLOLOLOL. clap clap. she sees right though me BUT she is letting me stay? it really is such a bad game move for her. i feel so bad. so najwah started the "hunt alliance" with me cody and leanne. leanne threw out sarah's name so we are going to pretend to go with that. but now the target is leanne in hopes that we just flush the idol out by vote. i think this is dumb and is going to fuck us over but like maybe people are legit. i really have no idea. and now there's a group with everyone besides sarah. i feel so bad. sarah, you're not going anywhere so don't you even worry! i think my plan is the safest but like no one listens to the TRIBE LEADER.

Cody A

Full disclosure y’all, Im just going to preface this confession with the simple fact that I am UNWELL! I just ask that y’all bare with this confession!! It could be as bad as Nick Cannons (very brief) rap career.. on Sunday one of my close friends took her own life.. and It has been difficult to separate this game from real life. In the real game of survivor I’d be stuck in Fiji with no information from the outside world.. so i am trying to navigate this game and real life at the same time. That being said: this vote could be very simple or VERRRRRY complicated. The plan is for our group of 6 “JESS” to tell aimee, Leanne, and naj, that everyone is voting Sarah.

THATS NOT HAPPENING!!! SARAH (NOT LACINA) IS MY NUMBER 1 & I WILL PROTECT HER AT ALL COSTS!!! Initially it seemed Zack was adamant about voting Naj our and not Leanne???? but I think I did a really great job of convincing him she is a huge threat! (Gotta save my girl Naj!) The real plan is for JESS to put all of our votes on Leanne, who still has yet to have a conversation with me. I feel like I am in a great position but I do not want to get comfortable!

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oz7uKVXHzI&feature=youtu.be

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wH8nJmP6vhE&feature=youtu.be

Leanne

So we lost, again... just great. First there was nothing. Then the trio chat with Ben and Zach got together to exchange obligatory commiserations and giant shrugs. Then Najwah got in touch. Neither of us heard anything. She actually said because of this she just assumed it was her; I’ll get more into this in a bit. As of now she’s the one I trust The most, so I asked her how close she was to Sarah. Turns out, not very. She wanted to start a group chat with Zach and Cody, for the dual purpose of getting that plan together and for comparing info about the idol hunt. So we do that. After a few more rounds of circling the question of what do you think I said to the group that Sarah doesn’t seem to be available a lot or connecting with people. We agreed, and Zach suggested we get the rest of the tribe together, sans Sarah, in another chat to lock it in. This is after Zach and I said Ben would be in, and Cody said James would be in, and I don’t remember how but somehow Aimee was accounted for. The only other person left was James. My thinking, which both Zach and Cody seemed to share, was that it was better to risk James being close to Sarah than to get him upset by leaving him out.

Throughout the whole thing, Najwah seemed to have an abnormally high degree of caution and concern. She really wants to feel people out first before she does anything, which I don’t think is possible all the time. What if James is talking to Sarah? What if Sarah has an idol? What if the other four have an alliance? Not sure if it’s just me but she seemed to be doing a lot of what if’s, all valid ones but just a lot. She raised some other concern to me in a private chat and I answered her something along the lines of, it’s good to look before you leap but nothing is a sure thing and we have to take a few risks and be ok with not being certain. Well anyway, the larger group chat gets made. But as I’m making the conversation, the talk in the idol hunt chat, that is, the foursome that was just planning the Sarah vote, switches to what people are finding in the idol search. Now, this is a good thing. We did want to compare notes on that so we at least know where not to go. But not at that moment. Because when I started the larger group chat with James, Ben and Aimee, they of course wanted to know what the plan was. This left me all alone to ask them how they felt about Sarah as a target. I really could’ve used backup from Najwah, Zach and Cody in that moment, but instead they were talking about coins and advantages. Again, that’s a good thing, but in that moment, to the other three it almost looked like I unilaterally decided that. It looks like I got everybody together completely on my own and said, hey everybody, here’s what I decided we’re going to do.

Now, from my perspective Sarah was completely my idea, but that’s only my side of the story and I don’t know what other people were saying, and I have no wish to appear to be a dictator. Fortunately for me no one seemed to talk to Sarah at all. The consensus was her contact was brief and spotty and she was away too often to have built any meaningful connections anywhere. So it looks like it will work out and be easy again. Well, at least that’s what it looks like to me. We’ll see. The other good news is that we do have an idol task force. I found out the jacket is a 10% advantage in a challenge; good to know. Also the jewelry box was taken. No word on who took it, but that costs 20 coins. A theory I saw discussed was that someone shared coins or else Amy bequeathed at least five of them upon her exit. I don’t see that as being likely.

There’s got to be at least one more source of coins besides the two known to the group. Seems like we’ve been looking and coming up empty an awful lot. Not sure how candid the group members are being but at least we have an open line of communication about this. I was very annoyed because I felt abandoned by them to deal with the other three but that wasn’t done on purpose, and having this search party is a very good thing. At the very least we can help each other avoid disadvantages. Also, after we talked about Sarah, Aimee messaged me privately, saying she was leaning that way too, and we talked for a little bit. She seems to be talking in these little bursts to most everyone but at least it’s a relationship with potential to be built up further. So to me it looks like we’ve got an agreement and it’s Sarah and it was fairly easy. Of course, they could flip on me, and there’s an off a lot of time before tribal tomorrow, but like I just told Najwah, nothing is certain and we won’t always have every bit of the facts when we make a decision. All I can do is talk to folks, make a plan, and see what happens.

Aimee

Najwah just messaged me saying “So what do you guys want to do?” Except she just sent that message to me. Individually. “Guys,” plural, with an “s.” 👀👀👀👀

Zack M

im going to feel like an asshole tomorrow if i'm not blindsided and the plan goes the way we want it to. i've had a beautiful conversation with najwah tonight and i hope she doesn't think it was all for the game tomorrow when we vote her number 1 (leanne) out. najwah if you're reading this, i'm so sorry. this is a cruel game. i've loved every minute of getting to know you and our conversations! you're an awesome person and i hope you don't hold anything i may do to you against me. i would absolutely love to stay friends with her outside of this game. i just needed to put this in writing before i possibly hurt feelings tomorrow. again, she did call me the leader of the tribe. i would get rid of me if i was them so like anything is possible.

Pedro A

today im going to talk with alan, kalle and olivia

Sarah

Well, the general consensus is to vote me out tonight at tribal because I haven’t been as available this week which is TRUE since I haven’t had service much on my vacation. Leanne threw my name out and everyone “agreed” I was an easy vote. I am trusting my alliance of 5 in Jess (Zack, Ben, Cody, James) and we are voting Leanne. I do have an idol BUT I definitely do not want to play it tonight. Right now, I trust my alliance but if things get suspicious or Cody tells me that Zack or Ben have flipped I will play my idol tonight. To be continued....

Ryan

That stupid idol hunt and the disadvantage is gonna get me kicked out I just know it. F#*k me.

Olivia A

The first vote went smoothly! Except for the fact that Tyler voted for me. My only worry is that he might’ve discussed/decided that vote with someone else. I’m not too worried though because I still feel really solid with the people I’m aligned with.

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJd1QSw04ak&feature=youtu.be

John B

Thanks to Maddison we won another challenge and honestly bless because I really don’t know who would have gone next. I found out Ryan got a disadvantage for the tribe while idol hunting and I know, Olivia knows, and I’m probably gonna mention it to Grae and Kalle that Olivia told me. Right now I think if we had to go to tribal it might be Alan or Ryan but I honestly have no clue. Alan has the idol which is a good reason to boot them, and if I can get rid of Ryan that will break up the outsiders alliance. The challenge had me scream laughing because I think Kalle and I share a brain. Literally all of our clues were vines and we shared them at the exact same time. I would love to get an alliance going with Kalle Madison Grae and Olivia, I’m just worried Maddison and Grae will get weirded out to have an alliance outside of the core four without Pedro. If it happens I will have Kalle start it up so I don’t look sus. I am v curious to see what the other tribe does for the next vote seeing as the last one was unanimous. Honestly they kind of scare me.

James Hayden

It's two hours before tribal and neither Leanne or Naj have messaged the group to confirm that Sarah's going home. Either they are over confident in their plan and feel no need to confirm or they are planning something else. I'm praying to the Survivor ORG gods it's the first one!!

Cody A

I have bonded with Naj so much these last couple of days. I feel like a horrible person for leaving her out of the Leanne vote, but perhaps I’m the one being left out of a different plan 🤷🏼‍♂️ This game is exhausting 😂

Ben Kessler

Here's my worry: Survivor is not a numbers game, it is a people game. And the people on my tribe are crazy, but I like crazy. I work with crazy. Leanne, Naj, and Aimee are hopefully on the outs. Leanne will hopefully be eliminated tonight. I fear an expansion at 15 and if this happens I will need to throw my tribe under the bus in order to fit in...slowly, subtly, and methodically. The other tribe is not battle tested and neither are we, so my new objective is to ensure that I am under the radar while speaking enough to have my voice in any group. Leanne is most likely of those 3 have an idol, but I would not be surprised if somebody in my alliance had the idol as well. Either way, as long as I survive I am happy. Najwah The last time I wrote a confession, I was having a really horrible day. I was ready to quit but I think after some rest and a good venting session, my head is back in the game.

Leanne, Cody, Zack and I have solidified our alliance. I hope. I thought people would want to vote me out because I haven't been participating and I wouldn't be offended or surprised if they do. Tribal tonight is going to be interesting. Someone has an idol. Or SOMETHING. The jewelery box is missing. I love Cody but I don't know why I suspect he has something to do with it. I have a feeling in my gut. Don't know whether he is double crossing us. Also, Zack said he'd stay on the mountain and then he told us he bought a jacket in the market place. Is my alliance actually working to get me out and blindside me? Lmao I wouldn't be surprised AT ALL. we are all survivor superfans. We all know how the game works. Convincing everyone to vote Sarah was WAY too easy last night. Sarah also seems wayyyyy too comfortable. She doesn't bother talking to people much or she's playing a really excellent low key game. Either way, I commend her and whatever she's up to. I don't know what I think of Ben and James yet They're way too chilled and seem to go with the flow but I know they have their own flow. And they are working together on something. I hope tonight's vote is as easy as people think, even though my gut is screaming that we are in for some huge surprise.

Sarah

Maddison

Fell out of a tree idol hunting this morning. Big win out here in Tierra del Fuego for Maddison!

james hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npTEWU0Hv5s

Zack M

we are about to go into another tribal to vote someone out and i'm so irritated right now. the plan is to vote out leanne because she may have an idol but she hasn't done anything all day long. najwah is literally messaging EVERYONE but is too scared to throw out a name. she wants to make big moves but can't and needs someone to do it for her. this scares me more than leanne because i'm close with her. ben and i have a trio chat with her. we could easily swoop in and say omg i'm so sorry after and make things ok if there is a tribe swap. leaving najwah gives cody the upper hand. i need the control. speaking of cody. cody and sarah have already early voted. i'm sorry but this just should not be allowed. this game is taking up a lot of time but welcome to survivor. we're all tired and don't want to be doing this on a saturday but here i am. i swear my team keeps losing because none of them are giving 100% like i am. tyler should have been on this tribe and i should have been on the other.

the only person i feel safe with right now is ben. james is a close second.

fingers crossed i don't get blindsided.

Grae G

Hello ok!! So I’m currently on good ground w everyone in the game but I want to solidify bonds w kalle Olivia and Maddison. I feel these people really trust me so I want to make sure they trust me. It’s become clear to me that every person in the game feels closest to John. He’s telling everyone different info and I’ve caught him in several lies- I’m not sure what I want to do about it yet. But as soon as I see an opportunity I’m gunning for him. But if I can’t swing it then maybe Ryan as an easy next vote bc he admitted to me he got us the disadvantage lol.

#episodes

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rqs902 · 4 years

Text

LOL MTY AS MA ZHENNAN IM CRYING HAHAHHAHAHA the rap with the hat covering his face and the running around im ded. i appreciate da xi and rainbow’s silliness too but i think mty was just so extra and was so out of his normal sleepy looking state LOL

im just laughing at how much tyler is laughing at everything LOL

aw just seeing tyler’s outfit makes me think that yingge and ruiyang have had a big influence on him haha yingge really looking out for him like an older brother by arranging to have cake to celebrate tyler’s birthday

L O L liao juntao is comforting szb by telling him to not mind the haters bc he shouldnt care about them, he doesnt even know who they are. and then the next second being like “你就說你愛不愛你哥哥” and being like “HE NEVER SAYS ITTTTT” SMH HAHHAHAHA hes the dorkiest older bro that you can rely on to give you encouragement when you’re down but also will no doubt embarrass you beyond belief in public

hm :\ i see they tried to address the zhang yang issue concisely. i mean, i guess its better than them completely ignoring the fact that there was an issue. but it seems like they painted it as zhang yang having anger / emotional control issues and they were about to force him to leave but xiao zhi and yang runze begged them and zhang yang felt regret and sad so they let him stay. and he has since started to open up about his feelings more. this feels like such a sterilized retelling of what happened, i still dont really feel like we can actually understand what happened. but from xiao zhi, yrz, and zhang yang’s weibo posts they all insist that theyre being treated well by the show and not to worry, bc zhang yang’s got his feelings sorted out soooo idk but i wouldnt be surprised if that was something they had to do to get tencent to let zhang yang stay on the show tho

surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly considering his younger age and personality, yrz’s post is the most direct and he basically just simplified it down to them having worked hard on their composition but the tencent crew told them to change it and zhang yang got frustrated and angry. it got recorded and leaked and blown up so much that zhang yang felt really bad about it afterwards.

we’ll probably never really understand everything that happened, but i guess all we can do is be grateful that tencent forgave him (bc he probs does not want a career of being blacklisted by tencent... seems like career suicide) even if there was or was not fault on both sides. im really hoping he feels alright. especially bc their group is doing so well on the show, its a good opportunity for them to gain more fans.

it is so hard to keep track of these kids’ demographic info bc its not on the show’s wikipedia page or anything so i struggle to keep track without a collated place to look up info, but if i remember correctly i believe yrz is like 18? zhang yang was born in like 97? and xiao zhi 95? (could be wrong) but if that’s true, xiao zhi is like 25..... can we talk about this real quick? bc it must be a lot for someone like yrz being 18 to be going through all this, but it also must be real difficult for xiao zhi, can you imagine? trying to be the oldest bro, trying to keep them together, comforting and encouraging, responsible and depended on, and can you imagine the amount of 包容 he must have? and the fact that he didnt even want to be with zhang yang at first but has grown to appreciate him so much and the fact that hes the least popular one out of their trio, but is also the one keeping their whole team grounded? wild. i mean all that considered, i think im starting to be a xiao zhi fan. and a big part of it is the way he performs on stage, so free and with such enjoyment, but honestly this whole thing is a part of it too.

lol xu yang telling xiao huang straight up “are you really happy? you said you dont get much screentime and now you’ve been separated from xiao li” -- BIG OOF. too real. omg that directness just hits you like a ton of bricks. rip

man i wish xiao huang and xiao li could reunite but also xiao li getting zero screentime when they flash to hyt’s group right after? sad.

o i heard about yyg leaving the show but i didnt realize it was because he has an injury o gosh i hope he’s okay...... i thought he would’ve left bc he wanted to, but this feels more like hes being forced to, like he has no choice and he didnt actually want to leave his friends :( i was in disbelief that he’d just leave his friends, so i guess this makes sense, its just more sad.

tbh watching the elims so far, i only cried when yyg was talking about how he couldn’t feel his legs but he still didnt want to leave his friends behind. even when the kids who are leaving were announced, it didnt leave as big of an impact, but maybe its because of the way they announce them all at once. the reshuffling... i feel like its true that things havent been easy for qiang ge, but i also feel like he mightve said he wanted to reshuffle bc it would make jym look less like the bad guy if two of them brought it up instead of jym alone. i guess it kinda makes zk look sad as a result though.

for one thing, these kids are pretty lucky at least the show doesnt force them to be or stay together. the judges made a suggestion and they were allowed to say no.

i feel like hyt is just picking kids based on their personalities and i cant say thats a bad thing, but it is interesting that everyone else on his team is gonna sing besides himself then lol

ljt’s team picking jym? i feel like theyll have a lot of emotions, but maybe if they all respect ljt enough itll work out

i can see xy being with wx’s team. xiao zhi saying wsh isnt his first choice but he’ll do it for his team to be happy, im a bit concerned, esp bc tbh wsh isnt gonna help them get more votes but i guess theyre not thinking about that. xiao zhi was the only one who didnt even walk over to get wsh, even tho he was the only one that was supposed to, as f-man. we’ll see how this goes... but again he didnt want to pick zhang yang at first and apparently thats worked out well so

hmm qiang ge’s hesitation being labeled as a sign of lack of confidence, well hes been unconfident that people want his instrument for this whole show, but now he’s also scared that he’s going to be forcing people together against their will. the whole thing between wjy and muji... literally wjy tries to appear like he doesnt care, but muji obviously cares a lot. and the fact that they literally asked muji in front of wjy if he’d be ok with working with wjy, of course muji’s gonna say its fine bc what kind of terrible person would he be if he said no to wjy’s face? ugh obviously theres something going on but qiang ge seems like hes optimistic that he can be the go-between and fix whatever there is, but thats a lot to ask for from a child his age. and then mty also? qiang ge wiping his tears for him was touching but also telling of their relationship dynamic. qiang ge is really signing up for a lot... seems a bit idealistic, but hes popular so hopefully he’ll be okay. LOL wjy awkwardly asking muji if he’ll be okay and muji saying it will and qiang ge running to get in between them. oh man. we didnt get to see it that much but if i remember correctly, wjy just tries to do too much and muji is like no stop and then struggles to get wjy to listen.

oh rip i feel like the kids who were leftover were some of my favorite kids.......... like da xi and rainbow and even ruiyang and tyler and samhar, i was looking out for them :( im just amazed they eliminated people who have made such a unique stylistic impact on the show. but i guess they werent popular enough. also sad that yyg probably feels guilty that his leaving meant his teammates got eliminated but they also feel guilty that he stayed behind for as long as he did even though he was suffering.

hm not gonna lie this ep was not as emotional as the snzm elims for me, and i do feel like its prob in part bc im still more invested in snzm and the kids there, but also in part just the way the elims were structured, its not as big of an emotional impact for me. announcing the kids who got eliminated at first all at once, and then the rest are just the rest left behind after the kids choose teams again. its a bit rough bc you know they have to take the instruments into consideration too, not just friendships, which i think made the saving segment of snzm so emotional. it was raw friendship and they struggled so hard to choose, and it was framed as “saving” versus here its just reshuffling. it doesnt hit you as hard that those who dont get chosen are leaving until they start walking away. its interestingly different. its discouraging that kids i liked a lot were eliminated, but theres still a few left that i care about so ill keep watching for now...

#rants

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stranger-who-writes-fiction · 7 years

Text

In Case of Emergency

Fandom: Supergirl Rating: T Summary: In which smol Alex is basically Kari from The Incredibles. And special guest appearance by the Super Friends via framing device! A/N: Idea came from this post.

...

“What is this?”

That Spring Cleaning has become a group affair is entirely to blame on Kara's insistence that the Super Friends haven't been spending nearly enough time together. Winn and James agree, of course, but they'd honestly prefer something like...mini-golf, or maybe trying out the new Italian place down on Third.

But, no. Spring Cleaning it is. For some reason.

(Neither mentions the cardboard box with large, angry Kryptonian text in thick black marker scrawled on the side, sitting in the hallway and filled to the brim with the personal effects of one recently relocated Daxamite prince.)

“That's a box, Winn,” Kara teases him, easily moving the bookshelf (books, knick-knacks and all) back where it belongs as James gathers up the chord to the vacuum.

“Har har,” Winn rolls his eyes and hoists the box from its hiding place, “I noticed, thanks. And I also noticed this,” he pivots the box so that both James and Kara can read the label.

In wide, wobbly letters, the words: KARA KIT stare back at them.

James tilts his head to the side as Kara's mouth drops open.

“That—it's—”

“Ooooh, now I'm curious,” James follows Winn to the kitchen table, where he deposits the box and begins pulling on the cardboard flaps. “Hey, man. Wait for Kara to say it's okay.” Winn pulls his hands back sheepishly. “You're gonna say it's okay, right? You gotta say it's okay.” There's a light, teasing quality to his voice, though Kara knows if she were to tell them no, they'd both leave it be.

Oh, they would whine, certainly. But they would respect her wishes.

“I don—” she begins to say, but the front door opens, interrupting her.

It's Alex, who comes bearing pizza and the promise of two more visitors, once Maggie and M'gann get off work.

“Dude, gross, get the dusty boxes off the table, come on,” Alex nods towards the item in question, and punches Winn's shoulder.

“Do you know about this?” James points at the box and turns it so that Alex can read the writing.

Kara watches the exchange, and feels a mighty groan coming on.

Because Alex grins slowly, setting the pizza aside.

“Ooooh yeah I do,” she says, “I made it.”

“I'm sensing a story,” Winn declares, grabbing a bottle of beer from the fridge and gracelessly maneuvering a cheesy slice of pizza onto a paper plate. (Since all of the actual plates are...missing in action. Thanks to Spring Cleaning.)

“Come on,” Kara protests feebly, though she still joins the trio on the couch, swiping a mere three slices as opposed to her usual five. “Alex. No.”

James grins and pats Alex's shoulder.

“Alex, yes.”

Alex was fourteen, and growing to hate the phrase, keep an eye on her.

Keep an eye on her meant Saturday nights spent at home, because no way was she taking her alien sister to the movies to hang out with her friends.

Keep an eye on her meant perfect waves, wasted, because Kara was doing something weird and she had to paddle back to shore and put an end to it.

Keep an eye on her meant risking grievous injury on numerous occasions, because the alien invader had all this superhuman power pent up in her per-pubescent frame, and absolutely zero means of controlling it.

“Keep an eye on her, sweetie,” her mom said, grabbing her coat and heading for the door. “We'll be back later tonight.”

“Ugh, come on,” Alex grumbled under her breath. Kara pretended like she couldn't hear, which would have been funny, if Alex didn't find it so annoying. “She's like, thirteen. She can look after herself.”

Her mom's hand wavered over the doorknob.

“Alex...why don't you...come out to the car, real quick,” she said with forced patience. And Alex had to bite back more grumbling, because great, now she was going to get a lecture on top of it all.

(It was her own fault, she knew.)

They walked out to the car, passing the small yet noticeable chunk of missing driveway from where Kara caught her foot and tripped last week, and the patch of burnt sod from a heat-vision mishap.

“Alex,” her mom started to say, taking a deep breath. Alex braced herself for the worst, fists clenching at her sides and shoulders going stiff. “Please.”

Well. Alex certainly hadn't been expecting...that. Nor was she prepared for the desperate exhaustion in her mother's voice. “Please just look after your sister for a few hours.”

There was something about the way her mom's coat hung on her shoulders—like it was suddenly too heavy for her, too much to bear. She was slumped inside it, weary and winded.

Alex thought about how stressful it was, suddenly having to share a bedroom with an alien.

It never really occurred to her that it might be just as stressful, suddenly becoming that alien's parent.

“Yeah, whatever,” Alex said, unable to drain all the sulking from her tone, but apparently it was enough to appease her mom.

“Thank you,” she said with what sounded like a grateful sigh. She unlocked the car and climbed in, reminding Alex of emergency numbers and which neighbors would be more apt to help, should they need it.

“Not the Stanfords...they're still angry about the window incident.”

“'Kay.”

“Mrs. Jimenez should be fine—or, no, wait...the fence—”

“Mom,” Alex said, cutting her off. “We won't need help. It's like. Three hours. Barely.”

“Never hurts to be safe.”

“Bye, mom.”

“And remember—”

“Bye, mom,” Alex called over her shoulder, not quite stomping back to the house...more like. Walking with purpose.

Kara was, unsurprisingly, exactly where Alex left her, still pretending she hadn't heard anything.

“I thought the glasses were supposed to keep you from doing that,” Alex said, stalking towards the couch. She absently brushed the inside of her forearm, the pads of her fingers registering the raised line of skin.

Kara picked at the hem of her sweater.

“Um. Stop me from doing what?” she tried to play innocent.

“I know you heard,” Alex said flatly.

Kara slumped. “It wasn't on purpose.”

Alex sighed. “It never is.”

She fell back on the couch and fumbled for the remote, turning the TV on and flicking to one of the movie channels. Kara took a seat on the far end of the couch, reaching for one of the throw pillows as she did so.

(The throw pillow in question was threadbare and lumpy—a fairly recent development that seemed to coincide with the arrival of an alien who liked to twist it out of its shape whenever she was anxious or simply unsure of what to do with her hands.)

“Are...” Kara started, “...are you gonna watch a movie?”

“Maybe,” Alex shrugged, the heat gone from her voice. She was too tired to stay mad right now. She just wanted to tune out for a bit, watch some mindless TV. “...Yeah. Probably. Can you get the—” there was a blur of movement and some of the loose papers on the end table fluttered to the floor, only to skitter across the room as Kara came speeding back in. She slowed, but not quick enough, feet tangling in the rug as she came to a stop.

She stumbled, of course, and though Alex wasn't concerned for Kara's safety (Kara would be fine, after all; Kara could hit a brick wall at mach ten and emerge unscathed) but she was concerned for the vase Kara knocked over on her way down.

It landed with a loud crash, splitting into several large pieces upon impact.

So familiar a sight it was, however, that Alex just groaned in exasperation and made her way to the kitchen on auto-pilot. She bypassed the broom and dustpan, instead heading to the junk drawer, intent on locating some crazy glue.

(Once upon a time, the Danvers replaced the items Kara broke. It soon became apparent that such a habit would be too costly to maintain. Thus, crazy glue and duct tape were never in short supply, it seemed.)

Alex tugged the drawer open, and frowned. The spot usually occupied by the blue and orange tube was bare, save for a few bent paperclips.

So Alex headed for the study instead, quietly fuming the whole way. She was going to get in trouble for this. Somehow. Some way. She would get the blame.

She found a spare tube in one of the drawers in her dad's desk, and returned to the living room. Kara was still there, kneeling beside the ruined vase. “Sorry, sorry!” She was apologizing profusely as she gathered the shards and attempted to fit them back together like puzzle pieces. “I didn't think—I didn't mean to run. Really. I just...I wanted to be quick, and my feet kind of—”

“I know, Kara. Just...gimme that,” Alex said, reaching for the pieces. Kara obeyed mutely, handing them over, and watching with sad, sheepish eyes as Alex tried to fix the vase. Like a scolded puppy.

“Did you get the TV guide, at least?” Alex asked after a frustrating eight minutes of slotting the ceramic into place.

Kara handed over the rumpled newspaper insert. Alex put the (now lopsided and sticky) vase back on the end table to dry, and flipped through the pages. Kara curled up on the end of the couch, eyes downcast, pillow twisted out of shape in her lap.

Traitorous sympathy rose in Alex's chest, storming in like an uninvited guest. She was almost moved to offer some words of reassurance and comfort.

But then her eye was caught by one of the movies in the eight PM timeslot.

The sympathy vanished, displaced by a sort of scheming mischievousness.

“I know what we're gonna watch,” Alex said, grabbing the remote once more. “Okay?”

And Kara...sweet, naive, eager-to-please Kara, just nodded.

“Okay.”

For a while, the plan worked perfectly.

Because all Alex wanted to do, really, was give Kara a bit of a hard time. Mess with her. Make her sweat a little, to make up for being such a pain. (Unintentional, sure, but a pain nonetheless.)

The Jurassic Park movies weren't even all that scary. They was tame, compared to some of the other stuff Alex had seen. So Kara squirmed a little, hid behind the pillow one or two times, but mostly tried to put on a brave face and make like she was enjoying this.

“Liking it so far?” Alex asked with a smirk.

“Y-yeah,” Kara lied.

It was like that for a good portion of the movie.

Until.

(Alex should've known, and yet. Could not have known. Because Kara never told her.

Never explained what animals looked like on Krypton; what form of strange beasts plagued the inhabitants of Argo, or...Kandor...or wherever it was that Kara was from.)

Kara was already wound pretty tight, eyes wide and reluctantly fixed on the screen. Alex, of course, knew the film by heart. (Knew both films by heart, even if she thought the sequel was kind of lame—Lex and Tim were in it for like, two seconds, and no Dr. Grant or Sattler. What was the point?)

Alex could see the rigid fix of Kara's spine, pressed as far back into the couch cushion as it would allow.

The characters crept along on screen. The music died off. Sound effects tapered off almost completely.

Alex looked askance.

The T-Rex burst through the foliage.

Kara yelled.

“SNAGRIFF.”

There was a flash of light as Kara's heat vision went off, momentarily sending dark spots across Alex's vision before she turned away, shielding herself from the bright blue beam. There was a fizzling sort of POP that followed, and a dull roar. Alex lowered her arm and stared at where the TV used to be, now just a smolder heap of ruined plastic and wires and flames.

Flames.

“Kara!” Alex yelped, jumping over the back of the couch. “Kara, use the—put out the—do the super-breath thing!” her voice cracked with panic.

And Kara. Kara tried. But she was clearly freaking out, and Alex could see that the glasses weren't sitting straight on her ears—could see that a dozen different sounds were filtering past her weak defenses. So when she went to put out the fire...she missed.

She missed, and froze the arm chair.

Alex let out an unintelligible shout of frustration. She'd have to deal with this herself. “Damn it!”

Alex scrambled out of the living room, tripping over herself as she ran to the kitchen, fumbling with the cupboard beneath the sink.

Water, water, she repeated over and over in her mind until it occurred to her that they had no bucket and this sort of situation called for a fire extinguisher, duh.

By now, the smoke alarm had gone off, high-pitched beeping filling the house.

Alex didn't bother with shutting the cupboards, she just ran for the garage, cursing the fact that the fire extinguisher was so far away. Why wasn't it like. Inside the house?!

She nearly missed the four stairs leading down into the garage, and managed to catch herself before turning her ankle on the bottom step. She kicked aside cardboard boxes and all but fell onto the metal shelving unit against the far wall, hands running over an assortment of spray paint, camping gear, and Turtle Wax (so much Turtle Wax—why did they have so many bottles?! They didn't even wash the car that often!) before brushing against the cool, slightly worn metal cylinder.

She tucked the extinguisher under her arm and tore back into the house, back towards the fire, and was quietly amazed that the room wasn't engulfed in flames. (To her mind, it hadn't taken five years to get the fire extinguisher; in actuality, the adrenaline had her there and back in mere minutes, if even that.)

Pin. Pin. Pin is a thing. She fumbled with it, eyes reading and yet not reading the directions for use. She recalled an incident one summer with some illegal fireworks in the backyard, her dad's patient explanation somehow piercing through the rising hysteria.

Pull the pin and aim at the base of the fire.

She did so with shaking hands, watching with sweet, sweet relief as the sodium bicarbonate did its job.

She wasn't sure how long she stood there, smothering the flames. Probably longer than necessary, really. It was with obvious reluctance that she finally took a step back and ceased the spraying.

With the fire out, and the extinguisher dangling in her grip at her side, the room was filled with only the sound of her ragged breathing, and the smoke alarm.

The sustained beeping was all she could think about, all she could focus on. It was hard to decide if the ringing in her head was from the alarm or just her ears, maybe. Eventually, her brain started formulating coherent thoughts.

And of course, the first and foremost of those thoughts:

Kara.

Her eyes darted around the room, but Kara wasn't there—hadn't been there during Alex's frantic attempts at flame suppression, had been missing since Alex had yelled for her to put out the flames with the...they needed to think of a better name than 'super breath.'

So she wasn't in the living room. She wasn't in the entryway either. She didn't remember seeing her in the kitchen...

“Kara!” Alex shouted, charging up the stairs. She probably didn't need to yell, but it felt appropriate, given the current circumstances. “Kara, where—oomf.”

And suddenly there she was, arms wrapped around Alex's middle, face buried against her shoulder, crying into her sweatshirt. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I'm sorry.

Alex sank to her knees, and Kara followed (not like she had much choice) and Alex found herself hugging Kara back, sort of folded around her sister's smaller frame.

“No,” she muttered, “I'm sorry.”

She said it over and over, and it still didn't feel like enough.

Winn sniffs loudly.

“Are you crying?” James asks.

“Are you not?!” Winn shouts indignantly.

James ignores him and addresses Alex. “So you've kind of always been trouble, huh?” He's half serious.

Alex raises her bottle of beer, clearing her throat before taking a sip.

“...That's one word for it,” she says once she places the bottle back on the table.

“I thought like. We were going to get shenanigans and hijinks,” Winn's voice is watery. “You totally sold this as lighthearted and fluffy.” Kara pats him on the back as he drowns his sorrows in beer. Or attempts to. Kara switches out the bottle with a can of Sprite.

Alex rolls her eyes at the display.

“I'm not done yet,” she tells him.

Winn sniffs again, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

“...What?”

“You think that was the only thing Kara set on fire?”

Alex didn't think she'd ever need to use the fire extinguisher again. The whole event had been traumatic enough that all involved were committed to never repeating it, either purposefully or accidentally.

“Did you borrow the CD player?”

It was weeks later, and Alex was making a conscious effort not to make Kara's life on Earth any more difficult than it already was. In fact, she was making an effort to lean into this 'older sibling' thing.

“Yeah. Do you need it back?” Kara looked up from her English homework as she answered.

“If you're not gonna use it,” Alex said, swiveling around in her desk chair. “I've got like. Five billion flash cards to get through.”

“I'll get it,” Kara offered, dog-earing the page and swinging her legs off the bed. She stood on slightly unsteady feet, which was...odd. For Kara. Well. Some of the time. Kara wasn't exactly what Alex would call graceful.

Still, she watched her closely as she rummaged through her backpack and withdrew the portable CD player in question. (Alex really wanted an MP3 player, but she'd have to mow about fifty more lawns before that was even a remote possibility.) When she brought it to the desk, Alex noticed that Kara looked kind of...flushed. Like. The way people sometimes looked after spending the day at the beach—just a little too much heat.

“...You okay?”

“...I dunno,” Kara frowned, still holding on to the CD player. “...I feel kinda. Weird?”

“You can't get sick,” Alex felt weird herself reminding Kara of the fact. “...Did you eat lunch?”

“Yeah, I—” there was an audible crunch. They both looked down to see the plastic casing of the CD player cracked beneath Kara's fingers.

But Kara was barely holding the thing; Alex could tell.

Kara didn't even apologize, she just stared at her hand, and the broken CD player.

Alex silently reached for a roll of duct tape she'd taken to keeping close by, for situations such as this.

“Here, let me,” she said, extracting the item from Kara's (noticeably loose) grip. Kara let her take it, brow pinched with concern.

“I wasn't...” she looked at her hand and made a fist. “...I didn't even...”

“It's not a big deal,” Alex told her, wrapping the exterior in a layer of tape. “You didn't break the important stuff. It'll still work.” She placed a CD inside and pressed 'play' to illustrate her point. “...Well, okay, you broke the display so you can't see the track number, but. Who needs that anyway?”

“You've got them all memorized,” Kara said by way of agreement. Alex grinned with pride.

“Well, yeah.”

This seemed to put her sister at ease. She returned to her bed, and copy of Midsummer Night's Dream, flipping back to where she'd left off. “Did you guys really talk like this?”

“Guess so,” Alex said distractedly, mind already on the mountain of flash cards she needed to have finished and memorized before the test at the end of the week. She slid her headphones into place, finger poised above the 'play' button once more.

“So weird,” Kara muttered. And Alex couldn't see her face scrunch in concentration, couldn't see her frustration build as she struggled with the words.

But Alex could smell the smoke, once Kara burned through Titania's monologue. Literally.

“I wasn't even staring that hard!” Kara yelped as Alex stomped on the flaming book.

“Right,” Alex sighed, rolling her eyes.

“I swear!”

And it wasn't until Eliza and Jeremiah came running in with the fire extinguisher that Alex actually entertained the notion that Kara might be telling the truth, because they came bearing an explanation.

“Sol—”

“Solar storm! Solar storm,” Winn bursts out, throwing his hands in the air. “A solar storm messed with Kara's powers. Am I right? I'm right, right?”

James frowns.

“Dude. C'mon.”

“Way to ruin the flow, man,” Maggie says, nudging him in the side. Winn is undeterred by their ribbing, beaming proudly as he tucks his hands behind his head and props his feet on the coffee table. Until he removes them, catching a heated (figuratively, thank goodness) glare from Kara.

“You're...kiiiind of right,” Alex concedes.

“My powers were only affected because I was still new to the planet,” Kara explains. “Still adjusting? ...Eliza could explain it better.”

“Gee, thanks, Kar,” Alex drawls.

“...And Alex too, I guess,” Kara teases her sister.

“So, TV, book, part of the yard,” James counts off the destroyed items on his fingers. “That's an impressive list.”

“You can add 'Thanksgiving dinner,'” Alex tells him. James guffaws.

“You didn't,” he says.

Kara sighs.

“I did.”

Alex got straight A's, an MP3 player, and her very own fire extinguisher that summer. The straight A's earned the Zune, and the fire extinguisher was a gag gift more than anything else.

“You can keep it next to the duct tape,” her dad clearly did not expect her to take the advice seriously.

But she absolutely did.

She had quite the collection going, actually. She was tired of tearing apart the house any time there was a broken glass or a melted shoe. She liked having her tools close at hand.

At first, she kept them on the desk, where they could both grab them as needed.

But. They both needed the desk space for actual desk stuff. Like homework. And, as the next school year started, the refurbished Mac their parents sprang for.

So Alex relocated the items to the cardboard box the computer came in, storing it under the desk for continued quick access.

As Kara's control improved, accidents became fewer and farther between.

Accidents.

Monitored experiments 'for science?'

Those started up in earnest, once Alex grew to appreciate the unique opportunity an alien sibling afforded.

“You think you could like,” Alex broached the subject one afternoon after school, “boil water with the heat vision?”

Kara considered this.

“I mean. I probably could. Yeah.”

“...We should check.”

Thus began a series of tests that resulted in melted silicone kitchenware, dented pots and pans, the complete re-wiring of the toaster, chiseling the blender from a block of ice, and more botched recipes than either Danvers sister could count.

“I am...thrilled that you girls are getting along,” Eliza said, pressing her palm to her temple. “But get out of my kitchen.”

They were forcibly evicted from the room, and did not set foot in it again until months later when, in a serious lapse in judgment, Eliza allowed them to return, pressed for time and dealing with surly in-laws.

“Kara,” It was Jeremiah who addressed her, as Eliza hurried to finish the green beans. “Do you think you could...” he trailed off and nodded towards the turkey, eyeing the door to the dining room, making sure none of the extended family were looking this way.

“Um,” Kara fidgeted. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, yes, of course.” He nodded firmly, even as Eliza glanced at them wearily over her shoulder. “A little bit of heat vision; it's just a little bit underdone.”

“This is a bad idea,” Eliza fretted. “The last thing we need is your family coming in here and seeing this and what if we all get radiation poisoning—?!”

“Hon, it'll be fine,” he assured his wife before turning to give Kara an encouraging thumbs up. “Right, kiddo?”

“...Sure hope so,” Kara tried to sound confident, and failed miserably. Of her powers, head vision was the most...startling? Difficult to gauge? She was getting the hang of it, but for more delicate tasks...such as reheating under-cooked turkey...well.

When the entire thing went up in flames (again, literally) Alex was right there with a cardboard box bearing the label: KARA KIT

She brandished her trusty fire extinguisher. “I got this.”

“There we go,” Winn nods, satisfied. “There's the light and fluffy.”

“So we can open the box now, right?” James rubs his hands together. All eyes slide towards Kara, who has her head in her hands, face beet red from embarrassment.

“Yeah, yes. Go ahead,” she flaps a hand at the box. “I mean you guys already know so. Why not.”

“I don't know why you're embarrassed,” Alex says as the boys tear into the cardboard box. “I'm the one who had to bare my soul and admit to being a horrible teenager.”

“Everyone was horrible as a teenager,” Kara argues.

“Mmm. Even on Mars,” M'gann chimes in. This prompts a laugh from the sisters...as well as the sudden, horrifying thought that, at some point, J'onn had been a teenager. A child, even.

“Weird,” Alex mutters.

“So weird.” Kara agrees.

“Oh-kay,” Winn says, pulling the items from the box. “We've got the extinguisher (of course) aaaaand, looks like duct tape and glue. Just like from the stories, guys.” He tilts his head to one side and gives the girls a saccharin smile. “Cute.”

“Oven mitts?”

“For handling super-heated baking sheets,” Alex says, leaning on the table.

“Is that a welding mask?” Winn asks. And then, “Wait, wait. Where does your heat vision fall on the visible light spectrum? ...Should we all be wearing sunglasses for that?”

Maggie pushes past him and peers into the box, no longer content to sit on the sidelines. She wants in on this action. “A mirror,” she says, withdrawing the item in question. “Huh.”

James is the one who provides the explanation, surprisingly enough.

“It deflects heat vision,” he looks to Alex and Kara, who both nod. “Clark told us it's how he shaves.” James mimes the gesture, for good measure, though the accuracy was questionable at best.

“Ooooh-kay” Maggie says, processing the mental image of Superman having to shave in the morning. And then, after thinking about disparate amounts of surface area the two Kryptonians have to deal with, she gives Kara a sympathetic look. “Oh, God, that must suck.”

And they're all laughing now—even Kara, who's still a little pink, but mostly past the initial self-consciousness.

“Yeah, kinda.”

“I'm not gonna ask about the bricks,” James says, still removing stuff from the box. “...Okay, no. I'm gonna ask about the bricks and. Is that a leash?”

A new round of laughter starts up. Kara buries her face in her hands, her momentary relief short-lived. She's back to square one: complete and total humiliation.

Alex revels in it.

“Sleep-floating,” Alex says. “It's a thing.”

Notes: - Will I ever tire of referencing snagriffs? Survey says: Unlikely.

#stranger writes #supergirl fic #kara danvers #alex danvers #et al #long post #ish #this did not turn out nearly as goofy as I had hoped #my sincere apologies

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