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lexpressobean · 1 year

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I have been enabled so Im gonna go on some more about my 30+ Messy ShinoHina lol (i'm shy but im also easy to squeeze more out of if you're polite enough lol)

More specifics under the cut because this became very... long after all I typed so, I will leave the fluff lovers some songs that really set the mood for me at certain parts of the story here <3 I don't hate fluff, I just need to balance it out with some feral behavior lol!

"Comfortable with the Silence" by Andy Shauf

"Wide Awake" by Katy Perry

"Feelings" by Lauv

"Near to You" by A Fine Frenzy

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Now, the biggest thing I need people to understand about the whole situation is that everyone, everyone acts less than ideal at some point, to put it lightly. Because ideals are still just ideals, and even if you don't go looking for mess, you will experience it in your relationships as it is inevitable. People make mistakes, bro. And sometimes you just gotta live with what happens. You can't always heal or take it back, and you will experience both things simultaneously sometimes too. And it's shitty and will always feel bad. Stains, and scars, they are just proof that you have lived and have experienced things in life. No one is flawless. No one stays clean. All you can do is learn to cope and move forward with time, while trying not to make it someone else's problem. But that third thing can also still happen unintentionally too, and then new mess happens! Mess is natural. Sometimes, it only seems worse than it really is when all you do is focus on it. Other times, is continuously gets worse because of denial. It's honestly a truly wonderful thing when all parties can sit and really work through things together when Mess occurs, but that's assuming they can do so without getting toxic or distrustful and all that other bullshit that is ultimately counterproductive and makes walking away the healthiest choice at the end of the day.

And that's kind of the point, and my main reason for going this route with Shino and Hinata in a romantic sense. I feel Shino and Hinata are both the most likely, out of all the Konoha 13, to avoid and deny mess at all costs, in any situation, even at the expense of themselves in some way or form. Not just in personality, but also because of their socioeconomic standings too, but I won't get into that part of it too much rn.

Shino's behavior becomes warped more early on at the start of the story. Yeah, Shino has always been more petty and has even said or done things in canon that come off less than stellar, but they are also the kind of things that are usually harmless and finished as soon as the moment passes. But in this case, Shino refuses to act on his long standing desires, which are so strong, he's been unable to truly stamp out his feelings since he was 17, even after his heart really broke for the first time. He feels, knows deep in his bones as Hinata's and Naruto's friend as well, that Naruto isn't the person Hinata should be with. But because he wants Hinata to be happy, and respects her desicions, and because he is her friend, teammate, and fellow noble clan kid at that, he will support her first before he attempts anything selfish. And because he also still sees Naruto as his friend, and someone who at his core is a good person despite his treatment of Shino himself and obvious dumbassery, Shino swallows his jealousy and his judgment and his want. And so, he loses his chance through his self-inflicted restraint. He chooses to do this simply because it seemed like the right thing to do, for his friends. Getting involved the way he wanted to would only make things messy, regardless of how confident he is that things will work in his favor, which probably wasn't much anyway. Because how dare Shino try to impose himself on his... friend, and challenge... his other friend... Shino would never want to hurt his friends... but the thing is, you can't always keep everyone happy. You still count and will always count when everyone is involved. It was his choice to stay unhappy.

Hinata, in comparison, doesn't feel it until later, when it also feels like it's too late. And as it creeps up, she refuses to acknowledge her growing sense of disillusionment after she quite literally gets her wish from childhood, her Infinite Tsukuyomi even! She got what she wanted!! How dare she even think any ungrateful thoughts about her own situation!!! And yeah, maybe her dream didn't become an absolute nightmare... but anything less than a dream come true is still really disappointing, especially when the rose colored glasses come off so late in the game. But being unwilling to admit that will also cause her to grow closer and closer to a breaking point anyway. And deterrents are hell sometimes. The legal binding of marriage, their two kids, the fact Naruto is the Hokage, her already well known standing with her own Clan that, politically, will never paint her in a good light... All of that pressure to keep on keeping on even though she's so unhappy... She'd undeniably be the sole reason for her family 'falling apart', externally, from an outsider's point of view. And no one wants to hurt the people they love, even if they're hurting themselves in some way. Her behavior becomes warped some time later after more developments though.

But, well, it really all begins when they both fucking explode, but they ONLY explode after they're both pushed too far by someone else. But after the dust settles they both realize in their own ways that, point blank it sucks a lot that it happened like that, but they can either succumb to their situation for good, or frame it as something new, like they were both given an opportunity. Only by working past their fears, deterrents, and even false senses of morality will they get to really change their situations. It's about how they do so.

Hinata will explode first, because she will find out that Naruto has undeniably cheated on her with Sasuke. And my mind can't decide how exactly, but in the end, it doesn't matter how he did it, but he did, she finds out and she just breaks down about it all. Shino will follow suit when he realizes Hinata is broken up, and when he finds out exactly why... boy, his coniption will be fucking legendary. But the only person to actually see it would be Hinata, and it's alarming and distressing but especially terrifying because for a moment much too long, she could feel in Shino an intent to kill... and suddenly everything else is so miniscule for that moment because Hinata's best friend would actually fucking try to murder her husband...

W h a t

He doesn't mean to take his anger out on her, and he doesn't actually anyway, but his words and actions in the moment are horrifying and all she wants to do is calm him down, and she does it by pulling from some hidden reserve of strength she has as Naruto's Wife and Mother of his Children. Because it's all so confusing and so bad but goddamn it you will NOT fuck with her family!

Feelings don't disappear in an instant. Shino would know that better than anyone. It's a punch in the gut and really wounds him despite all logic but it's exactly what he needs to just... stop being so crazy. And because of this, after he calms down, and he takes several steps back and probably a seat, he realizes no matter how hard he tries he just can't won't (be honest Shino!) move on either. He will not because deeper still in his heart of hearts, he always knew he wanted to at least try. His main regret is that he hid behind the farce of 'true friendship' to stay close to her, but one can't blame themself for lack of confidence too. Sometimes the cookie will crumble as it may, but now... now as messed up the situation has become, his pent up frustration and regrets and his fucking desire override his logic and his inner goblin man comes out much more often and as fucked as it is, will probably try to gain Hinata's favor while she is still down and sorting through things. He's not doing it on purpose but mans just does not want to wait any longer. Because he was waiting since forever whether he admits it or not and he decides that Naruto DEFINITELY does not deserve this woman. He never did and never fucking will.

BUT... but but but, Hinata... has to just... process everything. Shino promises he was just so upset for her. What? He wouldn't kill Naruto. How could he ever? He is Fine, he is Good, he is going to go home and lay down. And he wholeheartedly apologizes for such an unbecoming reaction... Hinata chose to confide in Shino and flying off the handle like that was entirely inappropriate. Embarrassing and shameful even. Not the support Hinata obviously needs. Of course he will keep this all confidential, of course, no need to worry... She didn't need any of that, and Shino will never be able to apologize enough but all things considered, he will support her as best as he can. He is so so sorry but wants to be there for her, that is the truth.

And it really is the truth, but it still shakes Hinata to her core. That will never be a normal reaction from Shino. There is no explanation for that reaction, but Hinata still trusts him... she knows she can trust him to follow through with what he says... but it itches. It's an itchy and confusing sensation as she tries to dig further into why Shino was so crazy there for a moment? Does it mean something that Shino was so upset, almost more than Hinata even? Was Hinata not upset enough??? Meanwhile she's trying to work things out with Naruto who got caught and even though the threat of death can really put things into perspective fast, Hinata will have to realize there's a difference between loving someone, caring for someone, and being in love with someone. What exactly was she feeling in that moment? And what will she do now that Naruto is coming clean and explaining himself??

And on and on like that. As for Naruto and Sasuke, and Sakura, it's like this whole... thing that I'm still exploring. Because as a queer person myself, who's had a complicated journey and relationship with my own queerness, it's something I wanna address too. Because SNS is a crazy ride in itself, and Sakura, she deserves so much more as well...!!!

Bonus songs for reading all of this!!

"A 1000 Times" by Hamilton Leithauser + Rostam

"Dance Inside" by The All-American Rejects

"Wave" by Meghan Trainor ft. Mike Sabath

"I'm OK" by Manila Killa & AObeats ft. Shaylen

"Personal" by The Vamps ft. Maggie Lindemann

#shino aburame #aburame shino #hinata hyuuga #hyuuga hinata #shinohina #lexsramblings #naruto #i don't mean to sound so dramatic but it is what my brain has put forth #and it's also very much still a wip lol #anywho I hope its easier than not to see where I'm going with this #i think i just see so much soft shinohina #and im actually a very bitter person who's had to l e a r n #so i kinda wanna throw them into the fire simply because I can haha #its very indulgent nonsense through and through lol

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