#hailey upton fanfic

[kiddbegins]

Coming Out - Hailey Upton

Requested: no

Word count: 3002

Warning: lesbian!reader, questioning of sexuality?

A/n: I’ve been wanting to write something about Hailey coming to terms with her sexuality for a while so.. also this is probably gonna be a mini series of some sort

Masterlist

“You look really pretty today,” Was something you told your coworker Hailey Upton daily. It was also unfortunately your crappy way of flirting. Listen, nobody taught you how to flirt. It's not like it was going to go as smooth as imagined. 

Your partner (regularly) made fun of you for it, knowing that your budding crush on the blonde had been festering since you first met her. How could it not have?

Genuinely, she comes in, starts shit talking your asshole of a superior and you’re not supposed to want her to push you up against the wall and make out with you?

Well you definitely failed in that department but the problem was, you didn’t even know if she liked girls like that. And after her short lived stint with Adam you didn’t know if it was worth trying. If you were wrong then you could mess up the really, really, good friendship you guys had. 

But things were starting to feel different. Just slightly. When you guys went undercover inside a bar and the way she had looked you over before you left felt… less restrained. More of the way you usually look at girls. 

But hey, maybe you were overthinking it. So you gave the same “You look really pretty,” and moved on. Letting the night progress, the case get worked and by the end of the week you were with everyone else getting a drink at Molly’s. 

Whilst there you tried to let go, keep an eye out for someone that wouldn’t mind coming home with you. Needing some sort of stress reliever after the way work had been going. 

And you could have sworn you saw Hailey let out a heavy sigh when you took the hand of a red haired girl you met not even ten minutes ago and stalked out of the bar. Her hand already on your ass. 

You must’ve been hallucinating. And she was out of your mind for the entirety of the ride to your house before she crept back in. You shouldn’t have been thinking of her while someone else (her name was Samantha) had her way with you. 

But you couldn’t help it. Your feelings fpr the blonde detective weren’t only sexual. No way. You wanted the everyday stuff with Hailey. All of it. But in that exact moment you did wish she was the one knuckles deep in you.

What could you do right?

So maybe work was weird Monday, and then again Tuesday. Even more so Wednesday when Voight ushered for you and Hailey to be partnered up, needing the double distraction at the forefront. 

Just clad in normal, casual clothes, you and Hailey worked the men up, having to fight the urge to hit them when one of them got a little too handsy. Knowing that acting harshly wouldn’t be much help. 

Back in her car on the way back though, she looked over at you. “Are you okay? I saw how Vincent grabbed you. If that had been me I would’ve broken his nose.” Hailey spoke as she brought the two of you back to the precinct. 

Simply you nodded, “Yeah, could’ve been worse. And besides, it would’ve done more harm than good. It’ll feel nice to get him behind bars though. That’s for sure.” You sighed out, leaning your head back against the headrest. 

Hailey nodded, turning her focus back to the road. She couldn’t figure out why seeing him do that made her feel so angry, so annoyed. 

She was just protective, is what she came up with. She didn’t want anyone getting touched or hurt badly. That had to be it. And you didn’t even realize how she looked after you as you exited the vehicle first. 

Didn’t notice her walking behind you and just trying to find what it was that was making her feel so off. So weird. 

That alone made the next couple of days feel wrong. Back with your usual partners, aside from the undercover part, the two of you were never in a room alone together. Whether it was on purpose and Hailey was avoiding you or completely coincidental, it was weird. 

But what were you going to do? Ask her about it? Then you’d have to explain why it hurt so much. Why you wanted to talk to her. So you ignored it and went about your days. 

It was difficult at Molly’s that Saturday. You were (as usual) one of the last ones there. Meaning Hailey and the others had already set up shop at a table, a seat open for you but you didn’t know if you would be making her uncomfortable. 

You thought for a second as you went up to the bar. Maybe she’s just been busy. With what though you were on the same damn case. Or, your eyes widened, maybe she picked up on your crush with her dumb detective skills and got creeped out.  

If that were true you couldn’t even bear joining them. You didn’t exactly get a choice, Jay coming over as you ordered and practically dragging you to the table. “Okay, settle this for us. We, as in me and Adam, think that Die Hard is a Christmas movie. I have always, always watched it as one.”

He paused, “But, Kev and Hailey think it isn’t. Kim’s never seen it so she’s out of the conversation.” Jay put his hand on your shoulder slightly, waiting for your response. 

“Jay you’re not going to like my answer,” you laughed softly, Kevin cheering instantly. 

“See? I told you she’d be with us. It is not a Christmas movie.” He spoke, smiling widely at you. “This is why we’re your favorites and you're my favorite.”

Adam looked up in fake offense, Kevin brushing him off. You laughed softly, looking over at Hailey. Her eyes almost instantly darted from yours, a sigh leaving your mouth. 

“Right, well, I’m gonna run to the bathroom before I start drinking so, yeah.” You stood, practically sprinting to the bathroom. All of your worries were at the top of your mind and there was no real way for you to get past them. 

Maybe you just had to come clean. Get it off your chest. Except that could be the final nail in the coffin. So what the hell were you meant to do? You couldn’t deal with Hailey ignoring you for the rest of your career as a police officer. 

You couldn’t — your thoughts were cut off when the door to the bathroom opened, Hailey poking her head in. “Hey, you ran off pretty fast I just uh, I just wanted to make sure you were alright.” She spoke with a light smile, stepping in when you nodded. 

“Oh, yeah I’m uh, I’m good. Thanks.” You bit your cheek, seeing Hailey’s eyes squint before she called out the most obvious lie because of course she did. 

Whether you were fully aware of it or not, Hailey knew you. How you acted when you were lying to someone you were close to. The way you always bit at the inside of your cheek or lip when you were holding something back. 

She just knew. And you hated it sometimes. 

Because why was she able to know you like that but you could barely get a window into her? Maybe you just didn’t let yourself. Too scared of the rejection you’d find in her. 

Or maybe she was making sure you couldn’t. Her own fears keeping her from letting you in. “Okay fine. I just,” you let out a heavy sigh. “Why have you been avoiding me?” You had to know. If it was something that you could fix you’d do it in a heartbeat. 

Her eyebrows just barely crinkled, the blonde girl taken aback just slightly, leaning against the door. “I’m not, well, I’m not trying to. I’m just, going through shit. I promise it isn’t you, y/n.” Hailey sighed out, running both of her hands over her face. 

Faintly you nodded, a silence falling between the two of you. “Oh, alright. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have assumed you were.” Your heart started racing, looking over at her. “Are you alright?”

She nodded, “Yeah, just trying to piece some things together. No biggie. Look I’ll get back out to them, you better join us when you get out of here.” Hailey grinned going to leave. 

“Hey Hails?”

“Yeah?”

“You look really pretty tonight.” You hadn’t been able to tell her recently so you had to take advantage of the opportunity. If the lighting had been better you would’ve sworn that this time a blush went across her face. 

But what did you know? “Thank you, I’ll see you out there.” She said, leaving the room and you to mentally smack yourself as many times you’d like. 

Thankfully though you went back out and joined the rest of the team, more debates over movies and shit still happening. A good half of the time though you just found yourself gazing over at Hailey. Hopeful nobody noticed. 

Except on the way out, you felt an arm go over your shoulder, “So, your crush on Upton, how longs that been going on?” Jay’s voice fully took you by surprise, nearly elbowing him in the side when he first touched you. 

“Jesus- Halstead you can’t just come up on a girl.” You grumbled, taking the chance now to elbow him back. “And I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He wasn’t able to see the way your jaw clenched as you looked down, still walking under his arm. 

Jay laughed, nodding, “Right, look, y/n, I’m just saying. I could see the way you looked at Hailey the same way I can see your car right now. Like it’s under a spotlight.”

You looked up, your car in fact under a streetlight. “She’s a friend Jay, you know what those are right?” Your eyebrow cocked up at the question, Jay nodding slightly. 

“Heard of them here and there. Alright fine, so if I asked Hailey out that wouldn’t bother you? Wouldn’t annoy you?” He was very obviously instigating. This time noting the way you rolled your jaw. “See! Don’t have a crush my ass!” 

Mentally Jay patted himself on the back, happy he got that right before he sighed, “Alright, teasing aside. You should go for it. Maybe it’ll pull her out of whatever mental haze she’s had this past week.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean she’s been weird all week. Won’t tell me why. Though it started after you guys went undercover together so maybe it just has something to do with that. Either way. You need to talk to her.” He stopped the two of you in front of your car, gesturing to it. “And I leave you at your chariot, goodnight.”

With a half-assed salute, the detective walked away,

Leaving you to get home for the night. And you sat with what he said the whole ride, and then some. 

You were thinking about it as you got to work Monday, ready to bring it up with Hailey but she wasn’t there, apparently she used a few personal days and wouldn’t be back until next week. 

Jay was working with Voight for the week and things were easy peasy. Except for the feeling that something was bothering Hailey and you were ignoring it. Like a voice in the back of your head was telling you to go check on her. 

A voice that went ignored until Thursday night when you finally decided to get over whatever fear was holding you back and go over to her apartment. 

You didn’t even know if she was home. You barely cared, you’d wait outside her apartment until she got home if you had to. 

You just couldn’t ignore the feeling in your chest anymore. So you knocked on her door, ready to be met with silence but it only took a few moments for the door to open and Hailey to look over you. “What are you doing here?” 

She didn’t sound mad but more so, shocked, surprised someone even checked on her. “Honestly? I’m not sure. I know you took a few personal days but, something felt… wrong? I guess? Like I should uh, should come and check in. How are you doing?”

You thought back to what she said about dealing with something and maybe you were overstepping. But you couldn’t help it. This team was your life. Most of them your family and you needed to be there when one of them needed it. 

Hailey didn’t reply, simply stepping out of the way and letting you in. Slowly you entered, glancing around. It was the first time you’d been to her new apartment, taking in the look of it. 

Under normal circumstances you would’ve commented on it but it felt wrong to do in the moment. Hailey shut the door softly behind you, silently heading into the kitchen. 

You felt compelled to follow, leaning onto the island counter when she stepped around it. “Do you want a drink?” She held up a bottle of whiskey before bringing a couple cups over. 

“Hails,” You asked softly, looking over her. She obviously hadn’t been sleeping much but you weren’t going to let her keep doing it alone. “Hailey.” Your voice more firm, making her look up. “What’s going on with you?”

She wasn’t like this. Hailey upton was put together. She could handle nearly anything thrown at her. Any criminal, any case. The girl had such a strong sense of who she was and what she believed in. That was why she was crumbling. 

Questioning everything she’d ever known about herself. The way she wanted to kiss her. Kiss you. Another girl. She wasn’t used to that kind of thought. And if she didn’t have some voice deep in her subconscious making her second guess everything then maybe she would have done it already. 

Maybe she would have done it the first time you ever called her pretty and she felt the way her chest fluttered. In the same way it had when Adam would wrap her into a hug. 

The second she realized she felt the same way she did with her exes as she did you it was like her stone walls had fell in on one another. 

Not out of shame. Or disappointment. Just out of utter change. Or more so the fear of it. Would this revelation change her as a person? Make her a different person? She didn’t know and that was what scared her. 

“I-“ Hailey started, shaking her head, “god this is pathetic. I’m sorry.” She paused the pouring of the drink, looking up at you. “How are you so good about it?”

Her question threw you off, tilting your head, “Good about what?”

“Being into girls. I just…” Hailey rested her elbows on the counter, hands going into her hair in distress. “I think I might be and it’s scaring the hell out of me.” There was an odd mix of silence in the room. 

Just because you were into girls didn’t automatically make you an expert in helping someone else understand themselves. But you couldn’t just ignore her question. 

Slowly you went around the island, leaning against it while facing her. “It’s difficult. Trust me. I mean, I realized I was into girls back when I was maybe 13? 14? But it’s not like it was accepted. I just had to live with that internally. I’m only good at it, which, is a stretch by the way, because I stopped letting other peoples thoughts influence mine.”

Hailey turned her head to you, nodding faintly, “I just, what if I’m wrong? And I waste y- someone’s time?” She looked away just as smoothly as she had looked towards you, shuffling faintly. 

“You wouldn’t be wasting anybody’s time. How are you supposed to know who or what you like if you don’t try you know? That’s how I found out I was in fact not into boys.” Your nose scrunched up with a shake of the head. 

Part of you wanted to offer yourself up as practice but you couldn’t handle the blow back if it went wrong. Things blowing up and possibly getting hurt in the process. 

The blonde’s head stayed low for a moment before she shifted again, as if something went through her mind. With her elbow leaning on the counter she looked up, “I just, I think I like this girl.” She started hesitantly. “Because, when I see her it makes my heart race. And it’s really, really similar to how I felt with Adam and I'm scared. What if I’m reading things wrong?”

It took everything in you to not frown at her words, because of course if she was into girls it would be someone else. Not you. Instead you swallowed thickly, “I think the only way to tell is to try things out. You know if she’s also into girls?”

“She definitely is.”

“Then I say go for it. Be up front about what you’re going through and most girls will be understanding. Worst that could happen is that you end up not having feelings for her. And if she knows-” You were cut off by the shorter girl stepping forward quickly, her hand pulling you down to her and pressing her lips to yours.

She wanted to do things smoother, ask first, but the racing of her heart and doubt in her stomach needed to be satisfied, relaxed and the only way she could think of was letting herself find you. Letting herself have the one thing she had wanted for months now.

Every small glance, every little compliment. All of it. Hailey Upton knew she had indefinitely fallen for you even if she wasn’t sure what that meant yet. And her lips were familiar. All it took was that one moment together for her to know. She did like girls. She did like you. And if she could, she’d kiss you forever.

JOIN HAILEY'S TAGLIST HERE!

tags: @sorry-i-spaced

#hailey upton #hailey upton x reader #hailey upton fanfic #hailey upton one shot #chicago pd #one chicago #hailey upton imagine #one chicago x reader #teddy writes #teddy writes hailey upton #teddy writes chicago pd #teddy writes one chicago #detective upton

[jayhalsteadsimp2019]

Well, This Is Awkward

Summary: Lyla walks in on something she didn’t expect to see.

TW: Making out 

Word Count: Somewhere around 543 

Note: Hi!  This just randomly popped in my head whilst thinking about Upstead. (I read it after originally posting [if that makes sense 😭] and edited it slightly but yeah anyway) I’m working on some more scenarios, idk if you really care but oh well if you do you know now lol.

Anyway, I hope you like this one! (:

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     “What did you guys do?”  Will inquired on the other line, Lyla struggling to control her laughter.

     He was referring to the prank Lyla and Mia pulled on Dante, and it was pretty funny.

     “Just tell me!”  Will whined, Lyla trying to suppress her laughter.

     “O-Okay.”  Lyla cleared her throat, taking a sip of her water before speaking, “We might’ve made all of his shirts pink.”

     “Lyla!”  Will exclaimed, Lyla bursting into laughter.

     Lyla calmed down once again, making her way to the front door, “Hey, at least he won’t look homeless anymore!”

     “You have a good point.”  Lyla smiled in pride at herself as Will continued, “How did he react?”

     “He was pissed.”  Lyla put her phone between her ear and her shoulder as she opened the door, taking another sip of her water as she stepped inside.

     Lyla’s eyes went wide with surprise as she began to choke on her water, shocked at the sight in front of her.

     She knew Jay and Hailey had to have had feelings for each other, sure.  What she didn’t expect was to witness a makeout session on the couch in the living room.  No, she was not expecting that at all.

     Lyla finally stopped choking, Jay and Hailey looking at her, embarrassment on their faces.

     “Well,”  Lyla chuckled nervously, clearing her throat, “This is awkward.”

     “What’s awkward?”  Will inquired from the other line.

     “Shut up Will.”  Lyla muttered, closing the door behind her.

     She made her way across the house before turning around and walking backwards.  She pointed to the stairs, “I’m gonna be in my room if you need me but uh, you guys seem pretty busy.”  

     “Lyla-”  Jay started, trailing off at the end.

     Lyla turned on her heels, running up the stairs, “Bye!”

     Jay groaned in embarrassment as Lyla shut her door, making her way to her desk as she tried to get those images out of her head.

     “What’s awkward?”  Will asked, curiosity in his voice.

     “Can you and I do something tonight?”  Lyla suggested, ignoring the question.

     “Sure.  Do you want me to see if Jay-”

     “He’s a little busy at the moment.”

     “What- what does that mean?”

     Lyla sighed dramatically, “I think I’m gonna be scarred for life.”

     “You’ll be fine.”

     Lyla chuckled, “Yeah, I totally didn’t just see my brother and his partner half naked on the couch.” 

     Will’s eyes widened as he parked his car, “Actually?!”

     “No, I’m making it up.”  Lyla replied sarcastically, “At least there’s one thing I can say.”

     Will sighed, knowing exactly what Lyla was going to say, “What are you gonna say?”

     “I told you so!”

     “Yeah yeah.  I’m outside.” 

     “Okay.  I’m going through the back though.”

     “Good idea.”

     Lyla rolled her eyes, standing up from her chair and grabbing a hoodie as she hung up the phone.  As she made her way downstairs and to the back door, she got a notification.

     She pressed it, snickering as she read the text message from Jay.

     “Don’t tell Will.”  

     “Too late.”  Lyla hit the send button, pocketing her phone as she made her way outside.

     “Finally.”  Lyla thought as she made her way to Will’s car, glad that her brother and his partner were finally more than what Jay described as ‘really good friends.’

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*Finish*

I hope you enjoyed!  If you want to request anything feel free to

#jay halstead #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead fanfiction #jay halstead fanfic #will halstead #will halstead imagine #will halstead fanfiction #will halstead fanfic #hailey upton #hailey upton imagine #hailey upton fanfiction #hailey upton fanfic #upstead #upstead imagine #upstead fanfiction #upstead fanfic #jay x hailey #hailey x jay #halstead!sister #halstead sister

[study-coffee-chicago]

Found Family (Upstead + Teenager)

A/N: I'm back! This idea was totally random, and I just went with it. But, I hope you like it, and please remember to reblog and comment!

Enjoy!

Hailey groaned as she rolled over and tried to find her phone.

"We got a case?" Jay grumbled from beside her.

Finally, she found it and jumped out of bed when she saw the name on the screen.

"I take that as a yes," Jay said.

"No," she said quickly, then answered and left the room. "Y/N, is everything okay?" she asked as she made her way into the kitchen and turned on the light.

"Yes." But Hailey could hear the tremble in your voice. "No. I don't- I don't know."

"Okay, can you tell me what's going on?" Hailey asked gently like she had done when you were six years old and fell off the monkey bars at the park and she had to ask you what was hurting.

"My mom and dad are out of town for a business trip and it's my first time being home alone overnight. I thought I'd be fine, but I guess I'm not. I didn't know who else to call."

"Oh, honey," she said, using the name she used to call you when she was comforting you as a kid. "I shouldn't have to work tomorrow unless we get a big case, so do you want me to come over?"

"You'd do that?" you asked.

"Of course. I just need to pack a bag and I'll be there in, at the latest, an hour," Hailey told you.

"Okay. Thank you so much, Hailey. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Hey, best friends forever, right?" she asked, referencing the pinky promise the two of you had made when she was eighteen and you were eight.

"Best friends forever," you repeated.

Hailey ended the call and walked back into her and Jay's bedroom and then into the bathroom to splash her face with some water and rinse her mouth with mouthwash. She'd only be sleeping there, so she didn't need to get totally ready, but she still needed to appear at least halfway put together.

"What was that about?" Jay asked as he wrapped his arms around Hailey's waist while she swished mouthwash in her mouth.

She spit the mouthwash into the sink. "It was Y/N."

"I thought you said her and her family were in the Hamptons?"

"They got back like a week ago. And now they left on a business trip and left Y/N home and it's her first time home alone overnight and she's a little anxious, so I'm gonna go stay with her."

"Once the babysitter, always the babysitter," Jay chirped.

Hailey rolled her eyes. "Shut up."

"When do I get to meet this great kid anyway?" Jay asked and Hailey just shrugged. "How about breakfast tomorrow? Whenever you two wake up, just text me and we can meet somewhere."

"I don't know, Jay."

"Why not? You've known this girl for ten years. And, didn't you say that she said she got a say in who you married?"

Hailey laughed. Throughout their partnership--and now relationship--she had told him a few stories of her adventures when she was babysitting you. "She said that when she was like ten and I was twenty. Six years ago. I doubt she remembers it."

"Still. So, breakfast tomorrow?" he pestered.

"I'll talk to Y/N about it."

***

Hailey sent you a text when she pulled in so you knew it was her the minute she knocked on the door.

"Sorry," you apologized once more. "I shouldn't have called you, I should've just dealt with it--"

"Y/N, it's no big deal. You're like a little sister to me." It was then that you noticed the two Starbucks drinks in her hands. "I grabbed us tea lattes and figured we could watch tv until you fell asleep."

You nodded and grabbed a few extra blankets.

"So," Hailey started as you flipped to Netflix, "you have a boyfriend?"

You laughed. "That's how this is gonna go?"

"Hey, if I remember correctly, I was the one who taught you how to use a tampon, so I should be the one to know about your love life."

"I thought we agreed not to talk about that!" You paused to take a sip of your tea latte. "But, to answer your question, my love life is nonexistent. What about you? And you can't back out, remember? We made a pinky promise and those are legally binding."

"I don't think that's how it works, but I am seeing someone," she answered.

You put down your drink, your full attention now on Hailey. "Seeing someone like casually," you began and wiggled your eyebrows, "or seeing someone like seriously?"

"It's my partner, Jay," Hailey answered. "Pretty sure I've mentioned him a few times."

"Wait, was he the one that got hurt last year?"

"That's the one."

"Oooh! I have to come up with a ship name for you two! Wait, is he cute? Please tell me he's cute. I can't ship you two if he isn't cute."

"Y/N, slow down. You're supposed to be relaxing and going to bed."

"Right, right. But, it's the weekend, so..." you trailed off.

Hailey sighed. "Fine. And, what's a ship name?"

"You know, like for Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, it was Jelena. So, maybe Jailey? Wait, no that sounds like how it was with Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus when they were shipped in these fanfictions."

Hailey laughed. "I forgot how much you liked Bieber."

"Ahh, middle school me," you sighed. "Before I got obsessed with tv shows instead."

"What's the current show you're watching? Isn't it a cop show?"

"I'm working through all three of the FBIs and then I plan on watching NCIS: Los Angeles," you answered. "But, now with school, there's not much time."

"Yeah, how's school going?"

"Don't change the subject! I need to see a picture of this Jay guy. First, we talk about your boyfriend, then we talk about me and school because your love life is way more interesting than me and school."

Hailey pulled out her phone. "Fine. This is Jay."

She showed you her lock screen which was a picture of her and Jay and they were both smiling like idiots and had on their police blues.

"Okay, okay," you said and nodded approvingly. "He's cute! Is he nice? Does he open the door for you?"

"Y/N, he's my partner at work and I trust him with my life. Of course, he's nice! As for the door thing, he does that when we find the time to go on dates."

"What's his last name?"

Hailey raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because I can't use your guys' first names for your ship name, so I have to go with your last names." She raised an eyebrow at you. "Fine. And I need to find his Instagram."

She rolled her eyes. "Of course you do. His last name's Halstead."

"Hmm," you hummed. "Hailey Halstead. Has a nice ring to it."

Hailey threw her head back and laughed. "We are not even close to thinking about marriage. We just started dating two months ago."

"Two months! You kept this from me for two months!"

"Well, I couldn't exactly just call up the girl I used to babysit and say Hey, Y/N, guess what? I have a boyfriend now, could I?"

"Rude. I thought we were besties, now I'm just the girl who you used to babysit?"

"You know what I mean.."

"Fine. Upton, Halstead. Halton. No, that sounds weird." You furrowed your eyebrows. You took ship names very seriously. Then, you got it. "How about Upstead? That sounds good, right?"

"I mean, I'll never use it, so sure."

"Upstead it is!"

Hailey laughed. "Ahh, to be a kid again."

"You're not old, Hailey."

"Thanks, kiddo. But I am 27."

"That's not old. Old is when you're thirty. You have three years left."

"Thanks. Real nice, Y/N, real nice."

You smiled and picked your drink back up. "I try."

"Now, onto you. How's school?"

You threw your head back and groaned. "Ugh, don't even get me started."

"That bad, huh?" Hailey asked with a smile while trying to hold back her laughter about how dramatic you were being.

"Five AP classes, yeah, I'd call it bad."

"Jesus, Y/N. Which ones are you taking?"

"Let's see. AP Spanish, AP stats, AP bio, AP lit, and AP anatomy and physiology."

"Wow. You're smarter than I ever was."

"Not really," you shrugged. "I just need to get out of here."

Hailey put that in the back of her mind to ask you about later. She knew that your parents were never around and that you felt lonely, but she didn't realize the extent of your feelings about it until now.

"Well, me and Jay have a spare bedroom, so you're welcome to stay with us anytime," she said. Which, maybe she should've talked to Jay about this before offering, but oh well.

"Wait, didn't you guys just start dating a few months ago? And you already moved in together?"

"We've been partners for two years now. That's why you should always be friends before you start dating."

"Yeah, that's what my parents say anyway." You rolled your eyes. "Do as they say and not what they do," you mumbled.

"What was that?"

"It's just my parents...ugh," you trailed off as tears stung your eyes. You put your drink back down and pressed the heels of your hands to your eyes.

You felt the couch dip beside you and then felt Hailey wrap an arm around you. "Y/N, what's going on?"

"I know my dad's cheating on my mom."

"Honey, I'm so sorry," Hailey said and started to rub your back as a few tears rolled down your cheeks.

You took a deep breath and looked up at her. "I even mentioned it to her and you know what she told me?" you asked rhetorically. "She told me that she was cheating on my dad and that they didn't even want me! They just stayed together for me, but they didn't want me in the first place!"

Hailey didn't know what to say, so she just sat there and held you while you let it all out.

"That's why I'm trying so hard in school," you said finally. "They're rich, but I don't want their money when I go to college. I want to do it all on my own." After all that, you were exhausted, so you just said, "Can we watch tv now?"

"Yeah," Hailey agreed. "We can. And, we can go out for brunch with Jay tomorrow because he wants to meet you."

"Why?"

"Because I told him about our pinky promise, so he thinks it's only fair that you meet him in person."

***

"How did you get to babysitting her anyway?" Jay asked after the three of you had ordered your breakfasts at a local diner the next day.

"I never told you that?" Hailey asked.

"No, you never told me that!" Jay exclaimed and then tapped his forehead. "It's like a vault up here; I'd remember if you told me."

Hailey patted him on the shoulder. "Just like you remembered to put the truck in park before we jumped out after a suspect."

"Hey! That was one time!"

"Yeah, because you looked back and saw your truck rolling down a hill in the Gold Coast."

"Wait, that was you guys?" you asked. "I heard some people at school talking about something like that. Were you in front of a coffee shop?"

Hailey just started laughing and Jay pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Oh, God," he muttered.

"Is there a video?" Hailey laughed.

"Probably."

"Hailey's never letting me drive again. Scratch that, Voight's never letting me drive again!"

"If you let me get the kitchen towels I want instead of the ugly brown ones you wanted, we never have to talk about this again," Hailey suggested.

"Deal!" he quickly agreed.

You laughed and shook your head. "Hailey, I approve."

At this, Hailey started laughing because Jay all of a sudden had a confused look on his face.

"Approve of what?" he asked. "Me?"

Hailey nodded her head as she continued to laugh.

Once her laughter died down, she said, "We made a pinky promise years ago that Y/N had to approve of who I was dating."

"Well, I'm glad I live up to her standards," Jay said without missing a beat. "Now, are you two ever gonna tell me how Hailey ended up babysitting you?"

You looked at Hailey. "I was six," you said. "So, I really don't know. How did that happen anyway?"

"My mom volunteered me," Hailey explained. "I was working in the kitchen of my parents' restaurant when my mom came back and asked if I wanted to babysit. She said two of our regulars were looking for a babysitter for their six-year-old daughter and mentioned me. She said I should go out on the floor and meet them. They gave me the job on the spot and the next day, I went over to meet you."

You furrowed your eyebrows, deep in thought as you tried to extract an old memory. "Did you bring donuts that day? Because I think I remember it."

"I did," Hailey confirmed. "Loukoumades. Greek donuts."

"Must be a thing with you," Jay said. "The first day you were officially part of Intelligence, that's what you brought."

"Maybe I shouldn't have because now you want them every weekend."

"So, how'd you two meet?" you asked.

"She walked into a bank and told me and my team to get the hell out."

Hailey whacked him on the chest. "Jay! I did not!"

"Maybe you didn't say it exactly like that. You were all like This is my crime scene," he mocked in a high-pitched voice.

"Because it was! Robbery-homicide was first on scene and there was a robbery and a homicide, therefore, it was my case."

"And then, after some arguing," Jay continued, "we worked together on the case and then there was an opening in Intelligence--our unit--and she took it. We got partnered up, and the rest is history, I guess."

"You're leaving out the part where you got shot, which made me realize my feelings. And, you better not do that again."

"You got shot?" you exclaimed.

"Yeah, it happens."

Hailey rolled her eyes. "You can play it off like it was nothing, but we both know it wasn't. Just, don't do it again."

Then Jay's phone buzzed and he glanced down at it.

"Case?" Hailey asked.

Jay quickly turned his phone on silent. "Just Will. I'll get it later."

In the short time the phone screen was lit up after the call was over, you saw Jay's background. It was of him and Hailey at a Blackhawks game.

"You like the Hawks?" you asked.

"Who doesn't?" Jay replied.

"Ugh, you two are so alike," Hailey groaned. "She could talk about hockey for hours, Jay."

"Really?" Jay asked, and you nodded.

Then, the two of you talked hockey for a few minutes.

"So, are you excited for opening night in a couple weeks?" he asked.

"Yeah! I actually have season tickets--well, my dad does--but I can't go because stupid homecoming is on that day."

Jay looked at Hailey and then back to you. "I thought girls liked homecoming."

"Maybe if I went to a public school, but try going to a fancy private school. It's all about who can spend the most money on their dress, dinner, a limo, who has the best refreshments in the limo. It's exhausting. Sometimes, I wish I went to public school."

"Ahh," Jay waved his hand, trying to make you feel better. "Public school's not that great. I can guarantee you, a private school DJ at a dance, is definitely better than a public school DJ. That's why I skipped most of my dances to--" he quickly cut himself off. "Nope, can't say that."

Hailey's jaw dropped, but she quickly recovered. "Let me guess, you and Will got wasted."

Jay chuckled. "Something like that." Then, he turned back to you. "Will's my older brother by the way."

"Oh, okay." You always wished you had a sibling. Preferably an older brother or an older sister to drive you around places and get fast food in the middle of the night with and who you could rant about your mom and dad with. But, you didn't have that. The closest thing you had to that was Hailey.

The three of you finished your food and then left the diner. Hailey dropped you off at your house and then you went inside to work on some homework. Your parents would be home late tonight, but honestly, it was nice when they weren't home...not that they paid much attention to you anyway.

The only time you felt you really spent time with them was when you and your dad were watching hockey or your mom was teaching you how to do something with makeup, which you promised to wear to school the next day. You didn't like makeup very much and typically didn't attempt to do it before school, but hey, if learning how to do winged eyeliner one afternoon was going to get your mom to spend time with you, then you'd learn how to do winged eyeliner.

You wished you had a bigger family and siblings you could talk to, like Jay had his brother, Will.

And, you didn't know it, but after that day at the diner with Hailey and Jay, you would find a whole other family to be a part of.

***

"I feel bad for her," Hailey said to Jay when she got home from dropping you back off at your house.

"Y/N?" Jay asked and paused the news channel he was watching. "Why?"

Hailey sighed and walked over and plopped down on the couch next to him.

"She told me that her parents are cheating on each other and her mom told her that they didn't even want her. And, the only reason that her mom and her dad are still together is because of her. And, they're rarely there for her. I was always at her house watching her when she was a kid. Always. Hell, I was probably more of a mom to her than her own mother was!"

"Hails..."

"No, Jay! I know you're going to say it's not true, but it is. Do you know how many times I had to sign her permission slips for field trips? And, God, one time she asked if she could come home with me."

"What?" Jay asked.

"She asked if I could be her mommy," Hailey said as tears formed in her eyes.

"Are you sure there wasn't any abuse going on?" Jay asked, quickly slipping into detective mode.

"Positive. She was like six, six and a half when she said that. I think she was just upset that her mom couldn't go on the field trip with her. But, still. Sometimes I wished she could've lived with me when I turned eighteen and moved out."

"Hailey, she couldn't have. There's no way that would've worked."

"I know, I know," Hailey agreed. "She was in a stable home, and the only thing her parents are guilty of is working all the time."

"How about we have her over for dinner on Wednesdays?" Jay asked. "That way you can make sure she's okay."

"I like that idea," Hailey agreed.

"That and it gives you an excuse to make loukoumades."

Hailey rolled her eyes. "Shut up."

***

"Hailey, you really didn't have to do this. I could've just ordered pizza," you said as you and Hailey entered her and Jay's apartment building.

"Exactly the reason I'm doing this. You needed a break from studying, Y/N," she said.

"I know, I know," you agreed.

"And, your brain needs something more sustainable than pizza...so I made pasta."

"And those donuts?" you asked excitedly.

"And loukoumades," Hailey confirmed.

The two of you made your way to Hailey and Jay's apartment and when you opened the door, you were greeted with the amazing smell of homemade Greek food.

"It smells amazing in here."

"Hands off, mister!" Hailey yelled when she saw that Jay was standing right where the loukoumades were cooling with his back to the door.

Jay turned around with a look of pure shock and horror on his face after being caught stuffing one of the Greek donuts into his mouth. "I couldn't help myself," he explained with his mouth still full.

Hailey just rolled her eyes and walked past him and started bringing the food to the table. "You see what I have to put up with every day?"

"Ah, he's not that bad," you said.

"Thank you!" Jay exclaimed and threw his hands up in the air. "At least Y/N's on my side. She is now officially my favorite kid."

"So, I'll leave it to you to tell Vanessa and Jordan they aren't your favorite kids anymore," Hailey said.

"Who's Vanessa and Jordan?" you asked.

"Our coworker's younger brother and sister. He's been raising them since he was a few years older than you," Hailey answered.

"Wow. I couldn't imagine me raising kids right now. What a shitshow."

Hailey laughed. "Hey, I could give you some pointers once they get to age six. How do you think I could stand babysitting you all the time?"

"Rude."

"Alright, everything's out. Let's eat."

***

And that's how your Wednesday nights have been for the past couple of weeks. Your parents were happy that you were getting out of the house and doing things because all you did was study. You had tried to explain to them that all of the private school kids were rich, pretentious snobs and assholes, so that's why you always hung out with Celine. And, because of homework and all the extracurriculars she did, the only time the two of you could hang out was on the weekends.

You had convinced Jay and Hailey to watch the season premier of Survivor with you, since it was on Wednesdays and now they liked the show, so you started watching that together.

You'd typically get there around 6:00, eat dinner, and then hang out and play cards (you had recently started betting candy on the Uno and Skip-Bo games), and then watch Survivor and then you'd go home.

"Opening night's Saturday," Jay started as the three of you were eating dinner a couple weeks later. This time, Hailey had decided to make stir fry with lo-mein...and Jay said he helped by going out and buying a bag of fortune cookies and then taste testing the stir fry when Hailey wasn't looking. "Think the season's gonna be good?"

You shrugged. "I dunno. The Hawks weren't that good last year. And, they traded Andrew Copp to the Wings, so that might not have been a good choice."

"Yeah," Jay agreed. "And they don't have Debrincat anymore."

"I thought he was gonna be in a Hawks jersey until he retired."

"Me too."

"So, when are you gonna watch the game?" Hailey asked. "You gonna stay up late after homecoming and watch it?"

"About that," you began, "I'm actually not going to homecoming. But don't tell my mom and dad!"

"What? Why?"

"Mom and Dad have a business trip that weekend, but I don't even know if it's a business trip or just an excuse for them to go see the people they're cheating on each other with and I'd rather go to the game than homecoming, so I'm just gonna return the dress on Saturday morning. And before you try and convince me to go, this is my junior year. I still have next year's homecoming to go to."

"Hey, I was never one for dances either," Hailey agreed. "I liked the before part of the dance when I'd get ready with my friends and we'd all eat dinner together. The dance was just kinda... there."

"Me too!" you agreed.

"So, who are you going with?" Jay asked. He was starting to see you how Hailey saw you, as a little sister that occasionally needed protection from the darkness of the world. "I don't think you should be going to the United Center all by yourself."

"With you guys?" you asked a bit nervously. If they said no, then there was no way you'd go. Celine was still going to homecoming because you didn't want her to miss it just because of you. Plus, she was a good dancer, so she actually enjoyed the dance, unlike you. "I have three tickets, so I was wondering if you two wanted to go with me? They're right where the players walk out, too, if that makes any difference."

"Hell yeah! We're in!" Jay yelled. "I love this kid!"

"Jay!" Hailey quickly elbowed him in the ribs to which he grunted at. "We're on call this weekend."

"So? I'll bribe Adam. You and me both know he'll take it."

"But, there's no way Kim's gonna take a bribe from me to work it."

"So? Bribe Kevin. Or, better yet, bribe Roman. I'd love to see Ruz and Roman work together."

"Oh, dear Lord. Ruz would smack the shit out of him after he got sick of Roman." She paused. "You know, then we'd have funny body cam footage to watch. I'll talk to Roman."

***

Opening night for the Blackhawks was finally here and you couldn't tell who was more excited, you or Jay. Jay had on a Blackhawks jersey and a Blackhawks hat, Hailey had on a Blackhawks t-shirt covered a bit by a jean jacket, but you could still tell that the t-shirt was obviously Jay's because it was so big on her, and you were also wearing a Blackhawks jersey. Jay also had a sign with him, but you still had no idea what it said because he said he wouldn't tell you until you got into the arena. He joked that it was more for his safety from the wrath of Hailey and she quickly told him to shut up.

When he finally unrolled the sign after you had made it to your seat, you saw what it said.

I skipped homecoming for this.

Then, he handed it to you.

"It's for you," he told you. "Figured it would get you on the Jumbotron."

You didn't think you'd ever smiled this big in your life. "Thank you. Even if they don't win, you guys have already made this the best opening night I've ever been to."

***

"How the hell is it that you can mess up everyone's orders so bad that we are risking our asses with Voight to sneak off and grab coffee?" Adam asked as he, Kevin, Hailey, and Jay all walked into a coffee shop.

"Because he's bad at remembering things," Hailey quipped.

"Things that aren't important to me. I know your coffee order by heart," he retorted.

"Guess we aren't as important as Hailey, Ruz," Kevin said.

"Guess not," Adam agreed.

"Oh, she is definitely more important than you two," Jay said.

"I'm gonna run to the bathroom," Hailey said. "Don't screw up my coffee, Halstead."

You looked up from the textbook you were currently reading and highlighting when you heard someone call your name and a smile instantly came to your face.

"Hailey! What are you doing here?" you asked as you set down your highlighter and took out your headphones which were playing LoFi very softly.

"Just grabbing some coffee before we have to actually go do work. Oh, and Jay and some other people are here, too," she said and nodded her head to the counter where Jay was currently ordering with Kevin and Adam behind him. "The one behind Jay is Kevin and the one behind him is Adam."

"Now I can finally put faces to names when you two make jokes about them," you said.

"Yeah. Oh! I forgot to ask you, what are you doing for your birthday this year?"

You huffed. "Nothing. Mom and Dad are out of town...again. And, since my birthday's on Halloween, Celine's going to a Halloween party. She asked me if I wanted to come, but I'm not a big fan of parties. I'll probably just order pizza and watch Hocus Pocus and all the Halloweentown movies."

"Aw, I'm sorry, honey. But, at least Hocus Pocus 2 is coming out."

"Yeah." You shrugged.

"But, hey, I gotta run before I get in trouble for taking too long. I'll see you soon."

"See you, Hailey. Stay safe."

"Always do."

***

"Intelligence doesn't typically work Halloween, right?" Hailey asked as the two were sitting in Jay's truck doing a stakeout on a suspect's house."

"Nope," Jay answered. "They need us open in case a bunch of crimes happen and we all need to work separate ones. Halloween brings out the weirdos, so we're all on patrol unless we somehow have an active case, but that hasn't happened since I've been here. Haven't even been called in to work Halloween in the three years I've been in this unit."

"So, there's a pretty good chance we won't have to work Halloween?"

"I'd say so. Why?"

"Well, it's Y/N's 17th birthday is on Halloween and her parents are gonna be out of town--"

"Surprise, surprise. Some people don't deserve to be parents and they are those people."

"Agreed, but she's almost eighteen and it's her junior year, so in two years, she'll be off at college and she won't have to deal with them anymore."

"I guess. But it still sucks."

"I know. But, I was thinking, maybe we could throw her a surprise party? Her birthday's on a Saturday and we could have all of Intelligence--minus Voight--there and Kevin could bring Vanessa and Jordan and you could even invite Will? We could just hang out and watch Halloween movies and then I'd make her a cake. I just- I want her to feel special. I know how it is to not have good memories on my birthday and I want her to have a good one."

"So what are you gonna dress up as?"

"It's a yes? You're in?"

"I am 100% in, Hailey."

***

You didn't know why Hailey wanted you to come over for dinner, much less why she told you about it a few days ago and told you to wear a costume. After all, it was a Saturday, not a Wednesday. But, it was your birthday and you figured she felt bad for you because you had mentioned that your parents were gonna be on a business trip on your birthday when she saw her in a coffee shop that one day.

You had decided to be Winifred from Hocus Pocus. So you found a green dress, bought a red wig and a witch hat, and brought a broom with you. It wasn't that great of a costume, but it was something, and it got the character across.

When you got to Hailey and Jay's apartment, you knocked on the door, and then Hailey opened it. She was dressed as Sarah, another witch from Hocus Pocus.

"Hello, sister," she said. Because, in the movie, Winifred and Sarah were sisters.

And then she ushered you inside.

You didn't even have time to look around at everything before people were jumping out from behind the kitchen counter and from behind the living room couch.

"Surprise!"

You covered your mouth with your hands. There was Jay, who you assumed was dressed as Max, also from Hocus Pocus, two of the guys from their work who you knew as Adam and Kevin, both in their police blues, next to Kevin was a girl in a witch costume (who you later learned was Vanessa), a boy in a Spiderman costume (who you later learned was Jordan), a woman with Fairy wings and a tiara on and a wand in her hand (who you later learned was Kim), and a man with a doctor's coat on (who you later learned was Jay's older brother, Will).

"This is all for me?" you asked as you took in more of your surroundings and tears stung your eyes.

There was a homemade banner that read Happy 17th, Y/N! hanging from the ceiling, boxes of pizza and Halloween-inspired treats, and a birthday cake on the counter, and a few brightly wrapped presents on the kitchen table.

"Yes, this is all for you!" Hailey told you. "Oh, before I forget--"

"I'll get it," Jay volunteered.

He ran to their bedroom and came out with a flower crown made out of fake autumn leaves and then passed it to Hailey.

"The birthday girl should always have a crown."

The minute she placed it on your head, you pulled her into a bone-crushing hug. "Thank you so much. This is the best birthday ever."

"You are so very welcome."

Then you gave a hug to Jay, too.

"I say we eat and sing happy birthday and let Y/N open her presents and then we watch Hocus Pocus? How does that sound, birthday girl?" Hailey asked.

"That sounds perfect."

You had heard of the found family trope in books and tv shows, but you never thought it would be a real thing. But, you had one. Your found family was Hailey and Jay and in time that title would spread to all of the Intelligence Unit plus Will.

A/N: I had this idea and I just ran with it. I hope you liked it and thank you for readng! Please remember to vote and comment! As always, if you want to be added to my taglist, just let me know and I’ll add you!

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @911ls-tarlos @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things @herecomesthewriterwitch @liampayne88 @glitterquadricorn @luvreading67 @smoothdogsgirl @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @actlikesummerr​

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[saragarnier]

Departure

Pairing: jay halstead x reader

Summary: Jay is y/n husband and he left her for eight months to go to Bolivia. When he came back, he couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw his wife again

Warning: none i guess, maybe a little bit of angst

English is not my first language, sorry if there’s some mistakes!

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When your husband came home that day asking you to sit down on the couch, you didn’t think that he was going to say what he actually said. You two worked at Intelligence for four years and you didn’t think possible for him to change the way he did. When you first met him you immediately knew that he was kind, gentle and a good cop: you knew that he would have done everything to help innocents and to stop criminals, you knew that he was a good person.

And then something changed.

You didn’t know if that was because of his partner, Hailey Upton, or because of Voight; you just knew that you didn’t recognize him anymore. You even talked about it with Adam, your partner, but you weren’t able to find a way to help him get through that.

You just wanted him to be happy again, you just wanted him to be himself again.

That’s why you let him go.

When he told you that he accepted the job in Bolivia you couldn’t believe it, you just couldn’t.

Was he running away from the unit or was he running away from you?

You didn’t know what was true, but you couldn’t just deny him to be happy again: if he needed to go, you would have let him go.

And that’s exactly what you did.

“It will be for eight months maybe a little longer, okay? I will be back home soon.” He said that day, kissing your forehead with glossy eyes. “I love you… i really do but i need to do this. Please don’t be angry with me, i’ll come back to you, i promise. You’re the love of my life, y/n.”

When he left some minutes later to take his flight, you fell on the ground, crying; you needed him near you, you needed him there with you but you just couldn’t deny him to be himself again.

That’s why you didn’t tell him the truth.

That’s why you hid it from him.

When Kim knocked at your door that night after having heard about Jay, you let her in and you just walked back to the couch, where you cried all day.

“Y/n…” she whispered, walking towards you and hugging you tightly. “It’s okay. It’s temporary, right? He will come back, okay?”

You didn’t say anything, you didn’t nod or shook your head in response, you just kept crying again and again and then, after some minutes, you spoke.

“We perfectly know that he can die there.” You said, finally telling the truth, finally admitting out loud what you had in your mind all day since he talked to you.

“Oh, y/n…” she kept hugging you and she also placed her hand on your shoulder, trying to reassure you in some way. She wanted to say something, she wanted to help you go through all of that but her eyes fell on it.

It was on the table in front of the couch, exactly where you placed it after Jay left.

“What’s that?” She asked, keeping her eyes on the small object; she reached it and she looked at the result when you didn’t complain about it, then she looked up at you, shocked. “You’re pregnant?”

You wanted to cry, you wanted to scream, you wanted be alone in your thoughts, but Kim was there trying to help you and you really appreciated that, that’s why you just nodded, answering her.

“Does Jay know about it? Did He really leave you here alone knowing that you’re pregnant?”

Kim knew the answer deep down, she knew that Jay wouldn’t have left you there knowing that you were pregnant but she needed to know it for sure; when you shook your head saying “no”, she hugged you tighter.

“Oh, darling.” She whispered, caressing your back slowly and gently. “You should’ve told him, Y/n, i’m sure he wouldn’t have left knowing that.”

You sobbed, then you looked up at her and you shook your head again.

“T-That’s why i-i d-din’t tell him. He needed t-to go Kim, i c-couldn’t stop him.”

“But he had the rights to know the truth before taking such a decision!” She replied, shaking her head in disagreement.

“When he came here telling me about the job in Bolivia he already took it, he accepted it without even talking about it with me. I would have told him if he hadn’t already accepted it. He told me that he had a flight in few hours, how could i have told him? I know, after all, that he’s lost. He’s not himself anymore and, if taking that job is going to help him, then i will accept it. He said, after all, that’s only for eight months.” You said, even if he said that there was the possibility that he needed to stay a little longer. “When he will be back home, i will still be pregnant and he will be able to be here when our baby is born.”

Kim didn’t agree with you but you was still shocked, that’s why she didn’t say anything: she just hugged you, promising you that she would have help you.

And she did, as all your unit.

Kim, Adam, Hailey, Kevin, Hank and also Trudy helped how they could.

In the next months they helped you, they came to your house to keep you company and they accompanied you to the hospital every time you needed to do a visit.

You were never alone after all, but you knew, however, that the most important person for you wasn’t there. You couldn’t blame him since you didn’t tell him the truth, but still you missed him so much.

Your baby was healthy but he, or she, wasn’t ready to be born yet, even if one week passed since the due date.

In some ways you were relieved because you really wanted Jay to be there when you would’ve become a mother. Every single time someone knocked at your door or every single time your phone rang, you panicked, afraid that something happened to your husband while he was still in Bolivia. You didn’t talked to him in the last few months, mostly because you didn’t want to distract him during a mission and because you were always afraid of blowing his cover.

That’s why you hardly talked to him or contacted him on the phone, and he did the same thing for the same reasons.

Until you didn’t hear anything about him from the army, you knew that he was okay, you knew that he was still alive. And every day you kept going on, holding on this thought, holding on the fact that no one called you, so he had to be safe, he had to be alive.

You didn’t know when he would’ve returned home, but you just hoped that it was soon; you couldn’t get through labor without him by your side.

That day you was ready to go to the hospital for another visit with your gynecologist. You asked Adam to come with you and he immediately accepted; that’s why, when you heard someone knocking at your door, you thought it was him.

“C-Coming.” You said, trying to get up from the couch where you were waiting for him. Your belly was so big that it was difficult for you to get up easily. “Just give me one minute, i’m trying to get up from the couch.”

At the other side of the door there was not at all Adam, there was Jay with his bag on the shoulder, happy to be home again, happy to be able to see his wife again. But when he heard you saying that she was having difficulties getting up from the couch, he froze, thinking that you might have been hurt at work.

Before he could say anything, the door opened in front of him and he immediately looked at his wife; he was left speechless, standing in front of the door frame, looking at his wife that was definitely pregnant.

“J-Jay?” You whispered, shocked. You didn’t expect him to be there, you thought that he would have informed you before coming home, but he was there, in front of you in all his beauty. Being so far from him for almost nine months was hard for you: you went through hell alone, especially when you almost lost your baby, and having him in front of you was like a dream. You definitely thought that you were still dreaming.

“You’re pregnant.” He said, unable to look away from your belly. He let go the bag that he had on his shoulder, letting it fall to the ground. He couldn’t believe his eyes, he just couldn’t believe it. “Am i the father?”

That was the first thing that popped into his mind when he saw you and he immediately regretted saying that out loud when he saw your face.

“What do you mean? Are you really thinking that i slept with someone else just right after your departure? You’re my fucking husband, of course you’re the father.”

You were so angry.

You didn’t even realize it till that moment.

You were so angry because he left you alone with a baby in your belly, even if he didn’t know it, even if it wasn’t his fault since you decided not to tell him the truth. But you were definitely angry: he stayed away for so long and the first thing that he asked you is if you got pregnant with someone else?

“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have come back!” He said after few moments, still standing in front of the door, still shocked by the news.

“You took the job before asking me what i thought about it, what did i have to do? You didn’t even took one day to talked with me! You came here, saying that you were going to Bolivia and that you had a flight that same day!“

Jay knew that coming back home wouldn’t have been easy, he knew that you would’ve been upset and you had all the rights to be angry with him, but he definitely didn’t expect to come home and find you pregnant.

“Wait, did you know you were pregnant when i left?!”

You froze, then you stepped back and you invited him to enter the apartment, to talk about it privately.

Jay immediately came in, leaving the bag on the ground, completely focused on his wife. You closed the door behind you two and you leaned against the kitchen counter, sighing.

Jay, even if he was mad at you, immediately walked towards you and helped you; then he took a chair and he invited you to sit down, placing an hand on your shoulder and caressing you gently. You appreciated it but you perfectly knew that you two have still to talk about it.

“Yes.” You answered after that, placing an hand on your own belly, caressing it gently and feeling the baby kicking you hard. “I discovered it the same morning you accepted the job. I wanted to tell you when you came home but you talked first and I couldn’t tell you after that.”

Jay couldn’t believe his ears, he couldn’t believe that his wife hid something important like a baby from him for almost nine months. You should have told him, you should have told him the truth because he wouldn’t have left knowing that you were pregnant with his baby.

“You should have told me, Y/n!” He wasn’t able to control himself, he just yelled at you and, after that, he regretted it. You slightly jumped on the chair, with tears running down your cheeks. You knew that, you knew that he had all the rights to be angry with you but you weren’t prepared for this. You just wanted him to be home because you needed him but you never thought about how he would’ve reacted at the news. You had time to prepare yourself to become a mother and then he came home and discovered that he’s going to become a father in what, few days?

“I’m sorry.” He immediately told you, kneeling in front of you and placing his hands on your arms. “I’m sorry i yelled, it’s just that…. I wanted to know, I wanted to be here with you.”

You sobbed and cried, especially when his hands touched you after all that time. You missed him so much.

“I know.” You sobbed, looking at him. “I’m sorry, i wanted to tell you but I know that you wouldn’t left and… you said you needed it, I couldn’t stop you from that. I just wanted you to be happy again, I couldn’t see you so sad here. And… when you came here saying that you accept the job in Bolivia… i just couldn’t take it away from you. You were right saying that i had to let you go, i saw it in your eyes.”

Jay caressed your arms slowly and gently, then he leaned closer and he kissed your forehead.

“I’m sorry i left you alone.” He said, softly. And it was true. All the time, when he was in Bolivia for his new job, he thought about you and he felt guilty because he knew that you were alone, he knew that you would probably have been hurt. That’s why he asked Kim, Adam, Kevin and Hailey to be near you in case you needed them.

“Well, i wasn’t alone, was i?” You smiled softly through your tears; you took his hands and placed them on your belly the moment you felt your baby kicking. “He, or she, was with me all the time.”

Jay felt the kick against his palms and his eyes immediately filled with tears.

“Say hi to your daddy.” You whispered, apparently talking to your baby while looking at Jay in the eyes.

Jay wanted to say something, wanted to kiss your belly and whispered something to it like he was talking to your baby, but before he could say something, you moaned in pain.

“What’s wrong?” He immediately asked, concerned. “Is everything okay, babe?”

You looked down at yourself when you felt your legs wet.

“Oh no.” You whispered.

Jay looked at you, confused. “What’s happening?”

You looked at him and moaned in pain.

“ i think I’m in labor.”

“Fuck.” He said, placing an hand on his mouth after that. “I’m sorry, i swore in front of the baby!”

You giggled and shook your head but you were interrupted by the first contraction; you moaned in pain and you looked up at him.

“Hospital.” You whispered and he nodded.

“Hospital.” He agreed. “Holy shit, I’m going to be a father.”

“Jay.” You said while he took the car keys and the labor bag you prepared some weeks ago; he came back to you and he helped you get to your feet.

“I’m sorry!” He said, referring to his previous words.

#chicago pd #oneshot #fluff #jay halstead #angst #chicago fire #chicago med #erin lindsay #hailey upton #hank voight #trudy platt #police #adam ruzek #kevin atwater #kim burgess #pregnancy #army #father #newborn #fanfic #x reader

[torreshalstead]

Pride and Joy

Summary - ‘Congratulations Class of 2042,’ Sergeant Jay Halstead announced loudly and proudly from his position on the small stage to the rows of fresh faced rookies staring up at him, a pair of familiar green eyes sparkling back at him in the middle of the crowd. His speech was for all the recruits and he was truly proud of each and every one of them, but his eyes were centred on one in particular. ‘Welcome to the Chicago Police Department.’ AO3 Link

‘Congratulations Class of 2042,’ Sergeant Jay Halstead announced loudly and proudly from his position on the small stage to the rows of fresh faced rookies staring up at him, a pair of familiar green eyes sparkling back at him in the middle of the crowd. His speech was for all the recruits and he was truly proud of each and every one of them, but his eyes were centred on one in particular. ‘Welcome to the Chicago Police Department.’

Jay had taken up a position teaching at the academy years ago when Hailey had returned to work after her maternity leave had ended. They had decided together that one of them should work a 9-5 whilst their daughter was young and then in school so they could be around and he had volunteered. He had already been half way out the door in Intelligence, itching to get his hands on his own command and knew if he spoke to Trudy, a position at the academy could be his. The Desk Sergeant had hinted at it a couple of times already, she knew he was eager to move on probably before he had even fully come to terms with it himself, she had that sixth sense. Teaching at the academy, shaping the lives and careers of the people who would follow in his footsteps, it had a certain appeal.

Hailey had wanted to stay in Intelligence a little longer, although she had thought that after a couple of years she would transfer elsewhere having learnt everything the department could offer her. But Voight’s shock retirement had opened up the Sergeant position for her and she had accepted it with open arms. Intelligence was no longer the same place it had been when they had both worked there and had fallen in love as partners in that very same bullpen.

Hailey had shaped it into one of the most respected units within the CPD. There was no more cloak and dagger, no more hiding evidence or fudging reports, everything was done by the book. Hailey was a trusted and valued Sergeant and people were desperate to prove themselves to get a chance to work underneath her - she had her pick of officers from across the city. The unit was even more of an eclectic mix under Hailey, with years of experience ranging from a couple of months out of the academy to 20+ years on the force. But somehow they all worked seamlessly together and not only handled some of the toughest cases the city had to offer but were pulled into assisting on cases further afield in the state and elsewhere.

Jay was so proud of his wife, he knew returning to work after the birth of their daughter hadn’t been easy but Hailey had taken everything in her stride and become the leader he knew she was born to be.

Their daughter, Ivy Halstead, was a gift and one they never took for granted. She was the light of their life, even when she sometimes made Jay’s nerves fraught with worry.

Being the daughter of two police officers came with its own challenges and ones that Hailey and Jay were not blind to but they did their best and she had grown into the most wonderful young woman. She was now 22 years old, living in a small apartment she shared with her college roommate Anya just a couple streets over from where Hailey and Jay’s first apartment sat. It was a full circle moment, and Ivy rolled her eyes whenever Jay would mention it.

Ivy Halstead had followed in her parents footsteps and was currently sitting in the crowd in her dress blues as her father announced her graduating class from the Chicago Police Academy. Although if you meticulously checked the paperwork, there would be no other Halstead listed as attending the graduation, student or staff.

‘Are you sure you don’t mind Dad?’ Ivy had asked as she had sat filling in her intake paperwork for the academy, the paperwork spilling across their family table in the kitchen.

‘Of course not pumpkin,’ Jay said honestly, trying to calm the stress he could see was bubbling up in his daughter, she took after her mother that way. But he’d had years of experience of calming them both down.

‘It’s not that I don’t want to be a Halstead,’ she muttered, tapping the pen frustratingly against the table, avoiding meeting his eyeline.

‘But it would be easier for you if you didn’t have the same last name as one of the instructors,’ Jay finished for her.

‘If you were just one of the instructors Dad it wouldn’t be so bad, but you’re the instructor, in charge of everything and-’

‘And you want people to know you got everything on your own merit,’ Jay smiled. He understood his daughter's concern. He had seen plenty of people get treated differently due to their parentage or links within the department and he didn’t want that for his own child. Ivy was going to be an excellent cop and she didn’t deserve to have any of her experience tainted because of some supposed notion of nepotism.

‘It’ll be weird going by Upton,’ Ivy hummed.

‘You know people will still know who your Mom is right? Firstly, you’re her twin,’ Jay chuckled as Ivy shook her head dismissively but a smile tugged on her dimpled cheeks and Jay’s comment was proven right, ‘and secondly, she’s one of the most respected sergeants in the CPD.’

‘But she’s not the one people might bump into walking the hallways,’ Ivy said exasperatedly. ‘This is why I should have become a firefighter.’

Jay chuckled.

It had looked like a serious possibility for a while and although the idea of his daughter having to wear a bulletproof vest everyday scared him, the thought of her running into fires terrified him even more.

Ivy had joined Girls on Fire, Stella Kidd’s female led firefighter in training program, as soon as she was old enough to do so and loved it. She had grown up alongside first responders; her parents and godmother were cops, her uncle was a doctor and a large number of the Halstead’s family friends were residents of Firehouse 51. She’d rubbed shoulders with both firefighters and the children of said firefighters since she could walk and talk.

For the longest time it had looked as though that would be the career avenue she would pursue and Jay and Hailey were as supportive as anybody could be. Jay turned up to sessions to cheer on his daughter as often as he could, would go on runs with her to build up her stamina and would take her to the district gym whenever she asked.

As much as the thought of having to wait for news of her coming home safe after big calls terrified him, if it made his daughter happy, he would always support her. He would never stand in her way. He wasn’t that kind of father and had sworn to himself when he had first held that tiny baby in his arms and felt his heart burst with love that he never would be.

‘Ivy’s doing a ride along on 51 tomorrow,’ Hailey said one evening whilst the pair were sitting on the couch, a bottle of whiskey and two glasses sitting on the coffee table between them. ‘Stella called earlier to let me know.’

‘Let’s keep our fingers crossed for a dull day for them,’ Jay murmured. He’d been at some of the calls Stella’s crew had taken in the past few months and he didn’t want Ivy anywhere near them. Although the crew worked seamlessly together, the idea of Ivy being within breathing distance of a fire was not one he wanted to entertain.

‘And when she decides to apply for the academy?’ Hailey asked, nudging her husband with her toes.

‘Then I’ll be the loudest person in the audience when she graduates top of her class,’ Jay sighed. ‘Doesn’t mean I won’t be worried for her.’

‘You’re a good father Jay,’ Hailey smiled.

‘Just wish we had a kid who wanted to be an accountant or something equally dull and safe behind a desk.’

‘Because both you and I do so well behind a desk,’ Hailey chuckled whilst Jay frowned.

‘Maybe she could be the exception to the Halstead rule,’ Jay shrugged.

‘A kid with your genes was never going to be able to sit behind a desk babe, time to face facts.’

Jay had been fully anticipating Ivy to come home one day and announce she was going to be applying for the CFD academy, he had prepared himself mentally for such an occurrence, but she had shocked them all and announced her intention to go to college instead.

She didn’t know her major yet but told her parents she was leaning towards Criminal Justice. They were proud beyond measure when she got accepted into UChicago. She’d be close to home and it was an exceptional school. She’d excel there, like she did with everything else that she put her mind to.

They were much more surprised when during her Christmas break Junior year, she told them her intention of applying to the Police Academy when she graduated.

It shouldn’t have been a shock for them when both her parents were in the force but Ivy had never expressed much interest in their jobs since she was old enough to truly understand what they did. Sure, as a kid, she had loved walking proudly into the district hand in hand with her mother and knew her Mom held a position of power within the building with all the nodding and yes Sarge’s she received, but the ins and outs of it had never been a topic of conversation that she ever initiated.

‘I know the risks Dad, I spent years watching you and Mom walk out the door with a badge and a gun on your hip not knowing if you were coming home,’ Ivy said with a huff. The family sat around the dining room table, their dinner starting to cool on their plates having been untouched since Ivy’s big announcement. ‘I thought you’d be proud of me,’ she said quietly, the hurt edging its way into her voice.

‘Of course we are proud of you,’ Hailey said without hesitation, reaching across to place a warm hand over her daughters.

‘We are the proudest parents in the world pumpkin, we just want you to be certain before you decide,’ Jay nodded.

‘I’m certain,’ Ivy said firmly. ‘I’ve been speaking to Trudy about it.’

‘Of course you have,’ Hailey chuckled.

‘And she didn’t sugarcoat it,’ Ivy implored, her eyes darting between her parents as if trying to telepathically communicate that she knew what she was getting herself into.

‘Well that I believe,’ Jay said, knowing that Trudy would have given her the truth, the good, the bad and the ugly.

‘Is it so bad that I want to follow in your footsteps?’

‘No darling, of course not,’ Hailey said.

‘I guess it’s better than you being a firefighter,’ Jay scoffed.

‘Well, now you mention it…’ Ivy chuckled as her parents shook their heads, the lighthearted air returning to the Halstead household as the family’s attention turned back to their dinner.

Ivy had entered the Academy with the weight of her parents' names firmly on her shoulders, even if she was only going by one of them and not the other. It didn’t matter, her classmates found out who her father was soon enough and although no rumours of any inappropriate comments reached Jay’s ears, he knew what people would be saying behind his back.

But Ivy just brushed it off and took it in her stride, she worked harder than any other recruit and proved to anyone who thought she had gotten in on nepotism alone that she deserved to be there. Jay’s heart nearly burst with pride when reports fell on his desk with nothing but glowing words on his daughter's antics.

‘Detective Aert came to speak to me today,’ Hailey said, spearing a piece of chicken onto her fork and popping it into her mouth.

‘To what did you owe the pleasure?’ Jay asked. Detective Aert was part of the Narcotics Unit. She was hard headed and even quicker tongued but she was exceptional at what she did. She’d be leading the unit before long and Jay knew her promotion would be supported widely.

‘Turns out she had heard about Ivy and wanted to know if she’d be interested in Narcotics when she graduated,’ Hailey said nonchalantly even though both Halstead’s knew how big of a deal getting noticed by a specialist unit was when you weren’t out of leading strings yet.

‘Damn,’ Jay mused. ‘I assume you told her to talk to Ivy.’

‘Of course,’ Hailey smiled. ‘I said I’m her mother at home but she’s not under my command on the force and to speak to her training officer at the academy. She just smiled and said that was exactly the answer she was hoping for.’

Jay chuckled, Aert was a hard nut to crack but Ivy could learn a lot from her.

‘Did you tell Ivy?’ He asked, already knowing the answer.

‘Nope,’ Hailey shook her head, taking a sip of her wine. ‘She wouldn’t thank us for getting involved in her career, even if that’s exactly what I didn’t do. She’s too independent for that.’

‘Just like her mother,’ Jay winked.

As it turned out Detective Aert had put in a formal request to have Ivy assigned to Narcotics when she graduated and Ivy had bounced up and down with excitement when she had told her parents. She was the only person in her graduating class to get a nod from one of the units and the fact that it was a unit where neither parents had a direct influence meant her classmates were more supportive than she had anticipated.

Nothing could have provided Jay with more pride than saluting his daughter as she stood in front of him in the same dress blues that he had worn for years and handing her the certificate to confirm she had graduated from the academy. Hailey would give him crap later for crying as he shook her hand but Jay didn’t care. His pride needed an outlet and it had chosen tears.

His daughter was officially a police officer in the Chicago Police Department, and as much as he was concerned for her and her safety, he knew she would do her city proud. And that made his heart want to burst.

‘Gene and Georgetti’s?’ He said as he walked over to where Ivy was standing with Hailey, proudly showing her certificate off.

‘Are you footing the bill Sarge?’ Ivy sassed, nudging her shoulder into her father.

‘Such cheek from a Cadet,’ Jay responded.

‘Not a Cadet anymore Dad,’ Ivy smiled. ‘It’s Officer Halstead now.’

‘What happened to Upton?’ Jay asked curiously but was unable to stop the smile forming on his lips.

‘I’m a Halstead through and through, guess it was time people started to know it,’ Ivy shrugged.

‘I’m staying Upton though,’ Hailey said, cocking an eyebrow at her husband.

‘Upton on the streets, Halstead in the sheets,’ Jay winked, ignoring the vomiting noises Ivy made from beside him. ‘Alright then, deep dish is on me. First, this is for you,’ he said, tugging out a small black velvet box from his pocket. The box was about the size of a normal ring box and Jay handed it over to his daughter with a smile.

‘I thought we said no presents,’ Ivy said exasperatingly.

‘Well you said that but I never agreed,’ he grinned. ‘Call it a fathers prerogative’

Ivy rolled her eyes but accepted the box anyway, looking up at her father before opening it. Her eyes widened when she saw what was lying nestled in the purple silk lining.

‘Dad,’ she said, her voice hitching in her throat.

‘It’s the bullet they took out of my shoulder,’ Jay said, reaching into the box to tug the necklace out. The bullet was hanging from a delicate gold chain. He gestured for Ivy to turn around so he could latch it for her around her neck.

‘The bullet from when Angela…’ Hailey asked, tailing off slightly, her voice soft and gentle as her eyes zeroed in on the necklace Jay was securing behind their daughters neck.

‘The very same,’ Jay nodded as Ivy turned around, her fingers tracing the cool metal now resting against her uniform. ‘The bullet they removed after it nearly killed me. And then your mother almost told me she loved me. And it was the time I realised that I had something to lose. It told me that I had to stay safe, not just for myself, but for her. She wouldn’t love me anymore if I put myself in danger again.’

Jay felt his wife link her fingers through his and he gave her a gentle squeeze.

‘That thought kept me safe and this bullet will do the same for you. It’s got both of our love in it,’ Jay smiled.

‘Who knew you were such a softie Dad,’ Ivy whispered but she wrapped her arms around her father in a tight hug nevertheless. ‘Thank you.’

‘Love you kiddo.’

Jay had known for longer than he cared to admit that he wanted to share a life with Hailey and wanted to have children with her, but he had never let himself imagine the life that was waiting for him when he finally plucked up the courage and kissed her that night another lifetime ago.

Their path together hadn’t always been smooth and heaven knows their path to parenthood was even rockier than most but no matter the road they had taken, he wouldn’t have changed a moment of it as he walked out of that graduation, his wife’s hand in his and his arm flung over his daughter’s shoulders. His family was perfect, and his pride knew no limits.

And he was ever so grateful Ivy hadn’t decided to become a firefighter.

#upstead #hailey upton #jay halstead #chicago pd #upstead fic #hailey x jay #one chicago #chicago pd fic #upstead fanfic #chicago pd fanfiction #upstead fanfiction #chicago pd fanfic

[storiesofsvu]

Kissing in the backseat

Going to galas wasn’t something that you were accustomed to, you were used to staying up in your little cove of Intelligence, working crazy amount of overtime hours while going up against Chicago’s worst. Flutes of expensive champagne and fancy finger foods weren’t exactly your forte, but when Trudy Platt was winning an award, the entire squad was going to be there to show their support.

The other thing you weren’t used to was keeping your hands to yourself on a Friday evening. Those were reserved for date nights with your girlfriend, dinner and a movie, hours spent wandering book stores with warm cups of coffee while picking out some new favourites. Take out on the couch while you sprawled across it together, watching old movies and binging tv show with cheap beer. All of course followed with hours tangled in the bedsheets together, which was exactly what you were looking forward to the most after this damn thing was over.

Because Hailey looked amazing.

She’d surprised you by going the route of a suit instead of the easier dress option, but you certainly weren’t complaining. It was extremely fitted, ghosting just over her frame perfectly, clinging to the curve of her ass that was accentuated more thanks to the heels on her feet. Her hair pinned up off her neck, a single strand of her bang framing her face, lips painted a deep red. Yes, keeping your hands off her was going to be a long and annoying task of the night, simply staying put and watching as she made her way around the ballroom. You would pretend to listen to what she was saying just to have an excuse to stare at her while she talked, your eyes trained on her lips, on her hands as she accented her words, daring to sneak down to the swell of her chest just peeking out over her shirt. Her lips would twitch up into a smirk whenever she caught you, which became more often than not after a few drinks.

Which is why you pounced on her the moment you were in the backseat of the uber. Your hands cupped her face, pulling her to you in search of her lips, meeting them hurriedly, letting out a small but uncontrollable moan at the feeling of her on your lips again. Your tongue slid across the seam of her lips just as she let out a surprised laugh, her lips bursting into a wide grin.

“Baby…” she giggled, “what has gotten into you.”

“You.” You replied with a smile, stealing another kiss, “you look so fucking gorgeous tonight, do you have any idea how hard it was to stay off you?” You leant in again, peppering her face with kisses, “sometimes I really can’t believe you’re mine.”

“Well you better believe it.” With a smirk her hand slid up your throat, only to gently guide you back to her, her thumb rubbing across your soft skin, “cause I am all yours, you’re stuck with me.”

“Good.” You murmured against her lips, kissing her again, “you better not make me go another five hours without a kiss ever again.”

“I don’t plan on it.” She said, nipping at your lip, “though if it gets you this needy maybe I’ll have to.”

“Now you’re just being mean.”

“How could I ever be mean,” she chuckled, her lips trailing across your jaw, “to the person I love?”

“You’re being mean right now.” You breathed out, feeling her teeth nip at your pulse point right before the car rolled to a stop. “and I love you too.”

“Well,” she reluctantly pulled herself away from your body, tugging you out of the car, “let’s get up stairs so I can show you just how much I love you.”

“Now that, sounds like something I can get behind.”

___________

@mickey-gomez @hbkpop @erinlindsayy @alexxavicry @mysticfalls01 @thatesqcrush @when-wolves-howl @geekyandgay98 @akingcalledkris @desperate-gay @tommyriddleobsessed @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble

#hailey upton #hailey upton x reader #chicago pd #hailey upton drabble #chicago pd fanfic

[herrmannhalsteadproduction]

Thinking about that joke when Person A is like, "That's my ex-boyfriend." and Person B is all *big sigh, muttering about how they need to stop saying that* "Hi. I'm their husband." (Obv, tweak to whichever gender best applies.)

Just for fun: Who would do that in your favourite ships? Who's Person A and who's Person B? Reblog and put it in the tags!

#a herrmann/halstead production #For this series universe: #Christopher Herrmann x Cindy Herrmann #Cindy would totally be Person A and Chris would be Person B #Will Halstead x Connor Rhodes #rhodestead #I think Will would be Person A and Connor would be Person B #Rebecca 'Bex' Herrmann x Greg 'Mouse' Gerwitz #I think they would both be Person A for the jokes and Jay is in the background yelling about how they're freaking married #Jay Halstead x Hailey Upton #upstead #Hailey would so be Person A in this fic 🤣 #Leslie Shay x Julie Tay #Leslie is Person A for sure and Julie is just over here like 🤦‍♀️ #I'll stop there 🤣 #now do yours! #fanfic game #ship game

[anniesardors]

stay with me ('till christmas day) - chapter 1

Summary: Hailey meets a stranger at the bar on Christmas Eve and they decide to be alone together for Christmas Day.

AN: Merry Christmas Eve friends! In honor of the holiday, I’m excited to share a new two-shot filled with young upstead fluff and flirting. Hope you enjoy!!

Read on AO3

#upstead #chicago pd #upstead fanfic #upstead fic #upstead fanfiction #jay halstead #hailey upton #jay x hailey #hailey x jay #anniesardors writes

[justmypartner]

𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐎𝐧𝐞: 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟔

Summary: She’s chasing ghosts, he’s chasing a case. Hiding behind disguised intentions and false identities, their paths cross, only to realize their objectives might be one and the same. Will they let each other be the way forward, or will their pasts stand in the way?

Read on AO3

#upstead fic #upstead fanfic #upstead fanfiction #jay halstead #hailey upton #jay x hailey #hailey x jay #chicago pd #justmypartner fics #collection of em's fics #TOTKO fic

[agent-bash]

It Doesn't Always Stay (in Vegas)

It’s an age-old story. A guy takes a trip to Las Vegas. He meets a beautiful stranger in a bar. And after that, well…what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Doesn’t it?

Hey-Yo! Hope you guys are doing well on this fine Sunday evening. Have yourselves an update. Enjoy!

Read on Ao3

#Upstead #Upstead fanfic #IDAS stuff #Chicago PD fanfic #Jay Halstead #Hailey Upton #Bash writes

[kiddbegins]

AO3 | Wattpad

wanna be tagged in any of these? sign up to their tag list here

One chicago

Chicago Med:

Will Halstead open

Connor Rhodes closed

Chicago PD: closed

Kevin Atwater

Jay Halstead

Hailey Upton

Chicago Fire:

Leslie Shay open

Matt Casey open

Brian Zvonecek open for bff only aka @winchesterszvonecek

House M.D

Robert Chase open

James Wilson open (currently fixated)

Prompt List - a list of prompts that I've come across that you can request with anybody on this list :)

RULES: I’m pretty open to writing anything. For the most part. I do have qualms about writing pregnancy/birth and weddings? For one shots and such. Fics are different. I don’t even have a real reason but, yeah. And if you send an ask that could be considered 18+ please add if you want smut in it or not. Those are my own asks of you. Thank you and enjoy my brain worms on all of these characters.

NOTE: if it's a request, it will go into my queue and be posted weekly on Mondays. If it isn't a request: i.e. an idea I have of my own I'll post them as I feel. Which could be random or scheduled.

Check here to make sure a similar request hasn't already been sent in!

I also won’t write halstead siblings. I think way too many horrible horrible thoughts about the boys (will) for me to feel comfortable writing a sibling of them.

thank you @cafekitsune and @saradika for the banners and dividers I'll be using here and on other posts

#chicago fire #Chicago med #chicago pd #one Chicago #will halstead #jay halstead #connor Rhodes #kevin Atwater #hailey upton #leslie Shay #stella Kidd #one Chicago fanfiction #fic prompt #prompt list #chicago fire fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic

[jayhalsteadsimp2019]

Masterlist (:

Heyy!!  This is my masterlist where you can find imagines I posted!  If you have any questions, concerns, or requests, feel free to reach out to me.  I hope you enjoy!

One Chicago:

Halstead!Sister:

•Changes

•The Problem With Brothers

•Well, This Is Awkward

•The Truth Unfolds

Jay/Hailey Daughter:

•Dude, There’s A Cop

•Please Skip

#one chicago fanfic #one chicago imagine #jay halstead fanfiction #jay halstead imagine #will halstead fanfic #will halstead imagine #hailey upton fanfic #hailey upton imagine #kelly severide #kelly severide imagine #kelly severide fanfic #jay x hailey #kelly x stella #chicago med #chicago pd #chicago fire #one chicago

[study-coffee-chicago]

You Got This, Kid (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister Imagine)

A/N: I'm back! Please enjoy this imagine about what I've been going through with grad school applications and everything else these past few months. It's a long one (the longest I've ever written, clocking in at 23.7k words), so grab you might want to grab your snacks now. Finally, thank you for reading, and don't forget to reblog/like and comment!

Enjoy!

Okay, so maybe checking your email when you were out to lunch just trying to have a relaxing afternoon before taking a nap before work was a bad idea.

"Yeah?" Jay asked when he answered his phone.

"I'll know if I got into East Carolina by 6 pm today," you told him. You had been researching and applying to Ph.D. programs in clinical psychology since August and had decided to apply to five in total. It was currently January and you had yet to hear back from a single one. And, East Carolina University was your top choice.

"Oh, wow. Just take a couple deep breaths. I guess today was a bad day to have us get the new appliances put in, huh?"

"Yeah."

For Christmas, Hailey's Christmas present to herself and Jay's Christmas present to her were all new appliances in the apartment. You had no idea how they got around that since they were renting, but you had a suspicion that them both being cops had something to do with it.

"Well, the appliance people just left, so you can come home any time," Jay told you. "Think positive."

You rolled your eyes. "You know you're talking to the world's biggest pessimist, right?"

"It wouldn't kill you to be a bit more positive is all I'm saying."

"It's not like you're a ray of sunshine either, Jay."

"Fair point."

"Well, I've got two pages left of this chapter and then I'm coming home."

"Okay, drive safe," Jay told you and then you hung up the phone.

You knew you needed to get home soon because the more time you had to sleep before work tonight the better. And, you knew it would be hell falling asleep because you'd be counting down the minutes until you knew whether or not you got into ECU.

***

"This is fucking ridiculous," you muttered as you walked out of your room and into the kitchen.

"Language," Jay warned from his place at the kitchen table, case notes spread out in front of him.

"I'm 23, Jay."

"Fair point. What are you doing up anyway?"

"I can't sleep," you whined as you grabbed the kettle from the stove and began filling it with water. "And, why are you working when you're not at work?"

"I can't relax. You know that."

"Apparently I can't either," you muttered.

You felt like you were going to throw up from nerves. What if you didn't get into this Ph.D. program? And, if you didn't get into this one, what if you didn't get into the other four? If you didn't get into a Ph.D. program and a Ph.D. was required for your degree, then what were you going to do with your life?

You dug the fingernail of your pointer finger into your thumb to ground yourself. You knew it wasn't the healthiest coping/grounding mechanism, but hey, it worked.

The kettle was whistling, so you turned off the burner and grabbed a mug and a peppermint tea bag. Maybe the peppermint would help your nervous stomach settle. After all, Will told you peppermint tea was supposed to help with period cramps, so maybe it would help with this, too.

"You want some?" you offered. "I'm making peppermint."

"Sure, why not," Jay agreed.

Once your tea was finished you handed a mug to Jay. "I didn't put any milk or sugar in yours because you're a health nut."

"Now you sound like Hailey," he said and stood up to add a splash of milk to it.

"I'm gonna go read until I can't keep my eyes open," you told him. "The faster I fall asleep, the faster the time will go, so the sooner I'll know if I get in."

"Night, kid," he said.

Then, you made your way to your room and turned on a calming instrumental playlist on Spotify, turned on a lamp so that the lighting was dim, but enough that you could see, and then curled up in your bed with the book you were currently reading and your mug of hot, peppermint tea.

***

As it turns out, sleeping for a long period of time to make time go faster was easier said than done.

You tossed and turned for half an hour until your eyes were finally drooping while you were reading. And then, you woke every hour for the next three hours. The last time you woke up was 5:45 pm.

The email said you'd know your results by 6.

A knot formed in your stomach as you reached for your phone. You opened your flagged emails and located the one which had the link to the application portal. Then, with shaking hands, you clicked on it.

You took a deep breath and logged in.

You felt your heart beating out of your chest as you hit the tab that read application status.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath and opened them.

Despite the contents of your application, we are a very competitive program...please don't let this deter you from applying to other or future programs...

Tears began to prick your eyes.

"Fuck," you muttered. "No, no, no, no."

You grit your teeth to keep the tears from falling and grabbed your phone and then left your room and walked out to the kitchen, where Jay was cooking dinner.

"Hey," you said quietly.

"Hey, you didn't sleep very long—" But then, Jay saw your face. "Oh no. ECU?"

"Denied," you told him as you continued to hold back tears.

"Hey, there's still what? Four other programs you applied to? And, you just emailed a school in Florida yesterday about how to check your application status, so maybe you got in there. Did they email you back yet?"

You shrugged, Jay was always the rational one though, so you opened your phone and once again navigated to your emails. Sure enough, University of Florida emailed you back with instructions on how to check your application status.

"They emailed me."

Jay nodded, but you didn't see because you were too busy hitting the link the school had sent you and then typing in your username and password.

When it loaded, your heart dropped.

There, in big, red, bold letters after application status, it read Denied.

"No," you choked out as tears began to stream down your face. "No, no, no no! If I didn't get into either of these, how am I gonna get into Wayne State because that's the best neuropsychology school in the country? And then I only have two left and—ugh!"

"C'mere, c'mere," Jay said softly and took a step towards you and wrapped his arms around you.

"I just- I worked so hard on the applications!" you sobbed as your tears began to soak his shirt.

"I know. I know you did, kid. It's their loss. There's a school out there for you."

"But what if there's not!"

"There is." He paused and then his parental/brotherly instincts kicked in. "Now, do you want to stay here and eat or go back to sleep?"

"Go back to sleep," you mumbled.

"Okay. I'll wake you up in two hours so you don't have to set an alarm. Sound good?"

"Okay," you muttered.

When you started to make your way to your way to your room, Jay said after you, "You go this, kid."

***

It had been two days since you learned you had gotten denied admission to East Carolina University and the University of Florida. You had thought about your plan and what you were going to do next. The only options you had come up with were (1) apply to PsyD programs (more clinical, less research, but also less funded) if you could find some with later deadlines that were still accepting, (2) go to school in Europe (but that might pose issues with licensing if you ever wanted to come back to the US and practice), or (3) take yet another gap year.

You had relayed these options to Will, Jay, and Hailey the night before when Will stopped over with some I'm sorry you got rejected from two Ph.D. programs so maybe this will make you feel better coffee from one of your favorite coffee shops before your shift last night.

"Morning," Jay said when you walked upstairs later that night. Despite it being 7 pm, since you worked night shift, this was technically your morning.

"Morning," you said, your voice monotone.

"You feeling okay?" Jay asked as you grabbed the container of cold brew from the fridge and then grabbed a glass.

"Physically, yeah. Emotionally...not so much."

"Good enough to figure out your next steps?"

Luckily, you had finished pouring your cold brew and put the cap back on the container or else you knew you would have spilled it everywhere at that question. "What? I'm trying to figure it out, Jay!"

Jay put his hands out in front of him in a calm-down gesture. "I know. I'm not saying you aren't, but well, I have access to tech at the district that you don't have that might make looking for more schools easier."

"Okay...and?"

Jay muttered something under his breath about having to spell everything out for you all the time...which luckily you didn't hear. "Me, you, and Will are going to the district to do some research on grad schools."

You cocked one eyebrow. "You're trusting Will to use state resources?"

"No. God, no. He's there to research on his own laptop and then read over some of your essays...if we get that far."

You nodded. This was all just so overwhelming that despite how grateful you were for both your brothers' help, that was all you could do.

"Leave in an hour?" Jay asked.

"Yeah, yeah, that's fine. Just, give me time to shower and eat something."

And by something, you meant a piece of fruit and maybe a granola bar. Seeing how riddled with anxiety and frustration and whatever other shitty feelings you had been feeling the past two days since you got denied from the only two schools you had heard from so far, your stomach hadn't been feeling that great and your appetitive was half as much as it was before you got your results...if you had an appetite to begin with. You felt like that last complete meal you had eaten was the night you had gotten those results and Jay had dinner for you. For the past two days, you had mostly eaten what you felt like you could stomach without feeling nauseous, which was mainly smoothies, fruit, protein shakes, and snack foods. You knew your appetite would come back eventually and your nausea would go away eventually, but for now, it was here and you just had to deal with it...much like you had to deal with the fact that you had to do even more work to get into grad school than you had previously thought.

***

"I brought pizza!" Hailey announced when she got upstairs and into the bullpen. You, Will, and Jay had been researching grad schools for three hours. Jay had found two that still had deadlines open and didn't require the GRE, so you were working on writing essays to get into those.

After you finished the first one, you emailed the essay to Will and he edited it. You figured he'd be the best one to edit these essays because he'd had to write them to get into med school.

While Will was editing and making notes in the margins of your essay on google docs, you opened the links to the other schools that Jay had sent you. And, you had added two more to your list (making the total you would currently apply to four at the moment) when Hailey walked in with the pizza.

"Thank God," Will said and quickly closed his laptop. (You thanked God that you were working in google docs and that everything automatically saved so that his edits wouldn't be lost.)

"You're literally just editing," you said and rolled your eyes at how overdramatic your oldest brother was being. "I'm the one who has to look over the programs, make sure they're a good fit for me, and actually write them, and then I have to email--" you cut yourself off as your eyes widened in realization. "Oh, God."

"What? What's wrong?" Jay asked as he entered the break room with Hailey since he had been out in the bullpen because he was using one of Intelligence's desktops.

"I have to email my profs and ask them if they'll write me more letters of recommendation."

You hated doing this part because it meant that the application process wasn't entirely in your control. One of the letters of rec might not be emailed to the right email address or the application system wouldn't let you put in a certain recommender and then you'd have to contact the school and--

"Y/N." You hadn't even realized Hailey had crouched down in front of you. "You need a break."

"But I can't! I--"

"Y/N, some of those schools don't have deadlines until March or April. You can take half an hour to eat," Jay told you.

But you couldn't; your stomach was in knots just thinking about all the work you had to do.

"I'm not hungry."

Will looked you up and down. Of course, your physical appearance hadn't changed in two days obviously, but he knew how stress held itself in the body, in a person's posture; in their facial expressions. But most of all, he knew how much stress he had gone through during his med school application process and how some of his classmates could barely eat without throwing up because they had been so stressed out.

"Y/N, we know you're stressed out. But, you have to eat something. You can't write great statements of purpose that are gonna get you into a program without food in you, kiddo."

You sighed. "But I feel like I'm gonna throw up."

"It's just nerves," Will reassured. "We just want you to eat something."

You looked at Jay, hoping for once he'd side with you and not Will. "One piece of pizza," Jay said. "And then, if you still don't want to eat, you don't have to. I'll even go get you a Sprite from the vending machine downstairs to help settle your stomach."

"And, we can talk about Outer Banks," Hailey bargained. "Me and Jay just finished the new season."

"I thought you guys had four more episodes to watch!"

"Just finished it yesterday," Jay said.

"We spent half of our RDO watching that," Hailey said.

Will just looked between the three of you. "I'll go get her the pop because I have no idea what you guys are talking about."

"It's a show on Netflix! It's really good! These kids are treasure hunting and--"

"Eat your pizza, Y/N, and then maybe you can convince me to watch it," Will told you.

You took a bite of your pizza while maintaining eye contact with Will, which made Jay burst out laughing and then Will stood up to go get your pop while muttering something about you being a creeper under his breath.

"I need a John B," you said after your second bite of pepperoni pizza. "The way he held Sarah's hand all the way up the mountain, just—ugh! I love it. At first, I thought I needed a JJ because of how he broke into Kitty Hawk for Kiara, but he's a little too crazy for me."

"Uh-huh, sure, that's why you chose John B," Jay said while rolling his eyes.

"What's that supposed the mean?"

Jay grabbed a piece of pizza and took a bite without even bothering to grab a plate. This caused Hailey to gently smack him on the arm and push a paper plate into his empty hand. He took another bite and then set the pizza on the plate. "I'm just saying, don't you like brown-haired guys more?"

"They're called brunettes, Jay. And, yes. But, how the hell did you even notice that?"

"Think of all the celebrity crushes you've had over the years, Y/N."

Of course, Will had chosen that exact moment to walk back into the break room with your pop. "Oooh, we're telling Hailey all about Y/N being a crazy teenager. I love this game."

"Like you didn't have a stash of PlayBoy magazines under your bed, Will!" you shot back.

"Did you..." Will trailed off as he looked at Jay.

You burst out laughing. "He never told me anything. But you just confirmed it! Ha!"

"Y/N's first celebrity crush was Zac Efron!" Will shouted.

"Technically, it was Troy Bolton," you corrected.

Hailey just shook her head and laughed at your banter.

"And then there was Bieber—"

"No, she liked Nick Jonas before him, remember?" Jay corrected.

"Oh, yeah," Will said. "There was Nick Jonas, then Bieber, then a couple hockey players, then 5 Seconds of Summer—"

"Specifically Luke Hemings," you butted in.

Jay laughed. "You really have no shame in this do you?"

"None at all. Continue, Will."

"And...I think that's it."

"And John B, from Outer Banks," Jay said. "That's her current one."

"Is he even a real person?" Will asked.

"Nope. Now, Hailey, if you were in Outer Banks, what character would you be?" you asked and then opened your Sprite and took another bite of pizza.

She thought for a moment. "Probably Sarah. Our dads are both pretty messed up."

She said it jokingly but also matter-of-fact. Despite this, Jay still gave her a sad look but quickly recovered to his neutral facial expression. (He knew how much Hailey hated people pitying her due to her past.)

"What about you?" you asked Jay. "Wait! You have to be John B because you have to marry Sarah and you and Hailey are married."

Jay let out a chuckle. "I mean, I guess, I was gonna pick him anyway."

"Why?" you asked.

He shrugged. "He's the leader of the group. He thinks things through more than JJ. And, I'm not as smart as Pope. Will would be Pope."

"Is that a good thing?" Will chimed in.

"Yeah," you told him. "Watch the show and you'll find out."

Will just rolled his eyes.

"Who would you be, Y/N?" Hailey asked.

"Me? Oh, I'd die in the first season. I'm not the kind of person to do crazy illegal shit."

"Oh, c'mon!" Jay groaned. "You gotta pick someone!"

"Fine. I'd be Wheezy. I'd still be helping, but not in like an illegal way."

"Fair enough."

The three of you continued talking about Outer Banks as you finished another piece of pizza and a breadstick, making the total you'd eaten while you were talking two pieces of pizza and one breadstick and, seeing as you hadn't technically had a meal since you learned about your first rejection, only snacks, you considered this a win.

You pulled your laptop back out and groaned. You didn't want to keep having to write essay after essay, but you knew you needed to because that was the only going to get into a school. Despite this, you still had that nagging thought in the back of your head that all of this was for naught and you were just going to continue to get rejection emails from all the schools you worked so hard to apply to.

You rummaged through your backpack, pretending to look for your chapstick, which you knew was there. Then, you groaned and stood up and walked to where Jay was once again seated at his desk in the bullpen.

"Jay, can I have your keys? I think I left my chapstick in your truck," you lied.

Jay fished them out of his pocket. "Here, but be quick. It's dark out."

You rolled your eyes. "You know if all of this works out, I'll be in a different state in less than eight months, right?"

"Don't remind me."

You just rolled your eyes again and made your way downstairs and out the back way to Jay's truck.

You quickly unlocked it and jumped in the backseat. You just sat there as your head spun with worry, each worry connecting to another like a spider connecting pieces of a web in your mind.

Will I have to stay at my job another year or God forbid forever because there's not much I can do with a BA in psychology?

If I don't get into a program this year, will I apply next year? And, will my profs even write me letters of recommendation next year because they won't have had me in class for two years at that point?

If I have to do this for another year, should I take a couple of classes next year so that I have other professors to write me letters of recommendation and so that I can show the schools I'm applying to that I'm still learning about the field I'm going into?

When should I start looking into schools and the process of going to school in Europe if I don't hear back from all the programs I'm working on applying to soon?

What am I going to do with my life if I can't get into a program?

You jumped when someone gently tapped on the window. Then, you scooched over so that they could open the door and come inside the truck.

"Jesus, Will!" you exclaimed when he was inside and had shut the door. "Don't do that!"

"Sorry, I would've texted you, but you left your phone inside. You find your chapstick?"

"Um...about that..." you trailed off and looked away. You knew that if you started telling him your worries, you'd break down and you really didn't have time for that as you just needed a few minutes alone and then you needed to get back inside to work on the stupid essays for these stupid applications because these other stupid schools didn't want you because you needed a stupid doctorate degree for you stupid career to make stupid money and have a stupid life.

Will nodded, quickly understanding that there hadn't been a lost tube of chapstick to begin with. "You know, I didn't match for a residency at first," he told you.

You turned to face him, even though you could barely see him because it was the middle of the night. "Really?"

"Yeah, and it was terrifying."

"But you're a doctor. You have to do a residency to be a doctor."

"Mhm," Will confirmed. "I had to do the SOAP process."

"What's that?"

"It's where all the kids who finished med school who didn't match to a residency try and apply for the ones that people didn't want or are left over."

"So, you got everyone's shitty leftovers?"

Will smiled and shook his head. "Basically. I never wanted to go into plastic surgery. It seemed so..." he trailed off while he searched for a good word to describe it. "Vain," he finally said. "Don't get me wrong, there are some people who need it because of accidents and things like that, but giving rich men's wives nose jobs, that's not what I wanted."

"So, what you're telling me is to go into another specialty if it's open? Even if I don't like it," you asked. If this is what he was getting at, his pep talk wasn't a very good one."

"Sort of," Will answered. "But, there's a bit more to the story. I always wanted to go into emergency medicine, so when a job opened up at Med, I jumped at it. So, even if there's roadblocks, you'll get the career you want; you just have to be patient. You need to be a doctor in clinical psychology for your specialty, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, and there's a lot of things you can do with a doctorate in clinical psych, right? You don't have to go specifically into neuropsych?"

"Yeah, I'll be a clinical psychologist with the doctorate so there's other stuff I can do," you confirmed.

"Okay. Then you get into a clinical psych program and you go from there. And, if you can't do your fellowship or whatever it's called--"

"Post-doc," you told him.

"Right. If you can't do your post-doc in neuropsych, then you can do it in another specialty. Once you make some money, you can always go back and do another post-doc, this time in neuropsych, okay? This whole process doesn't have to be linear to work out. And, honestly, the application part and getting in is harder than the degree itself."

"Really?"

"Really. Now, Hailey put on a pot of coffee when I came out here, so c'mon. Let's go drink some more coffee and look at more grad schools. Jay found some options in Arizona because we know you want to go where it's warm."

"Perfect." Will opened the door to get out and you scooted over to get out of Jay's truck next. "And, Will?" He turned back to look at you. "Thank you."

He smiled and gave your shoulder a squeeze. "Anytime, kiddo."

***

"You have actual food tonight, right?" Jay asked two days later, Sunday night, when you grabbed your lunch box from the fridge to go to work. "Not just snacks?"

You rolled your eyes. "Yes, Jay." Ever since your brother noticed you weren't eating full meals, he'd been on your ass about it. But, yesterday you ate like a normal person and so far today you have, too. "Shouldn't you be finishing the game and going to bed?"

"It's at intermission. It's—"

"Don't tell me! I'll watch it at work."

"Pretty sure those sites you use to watch it are illegal, but whatever."

"Shouldn't you know for sure if they're illegal or not?"

"Well, you're not on the dark web and you're not selling anything and you're not the one uploading the games, so I'm pretty sure I can't arrest you."

"Well, that's a good thing because if I get arrested, then I can't get into grad school...not that I'm sure I'll get in now, though."

"Hey, we found what? Six programs for you to apply to? You'll get into one. But, you better get going before you're late."

"Says the man who rushes to work every morning."

"Really, it's Hailey who holds me up in the morning."

"No, it's not!" Hailey yelled from the living room. "He's the one who hogs the shower!"

"Gotta go!" you said quickly and grabbed your keys from the hook by the door before you got in the middle of their arguing.

***

About half an hour into your shift, you got a phone call asking you to come over to another building to talk to a coworker.

"I have to go talk to Tia," you told your two other coworkers.

"Tia? What does she want?" your coworker, and also one of the veteran staff at your work, Tamara, asked.

"No idea. I haven't been over to that building since the beginning of last week, so if I did something wrong, I forgot about it."

"Okay, well, see you later."

"See you," you said.

Then, you slipped on your coat and buzzed yourself out of the current building, and made the quick and chilly walk to the other building.

"Hey, where's Tia?" you asked when you walked in and saw another one of your coworkers.

"Oh, hey, Y/N," she greeted. "She's in the office."

"Okay, thanks."

You made your way into the office where Tia was sitting at the computer.

"Hey, Tia. You wanted to talk to me?"

"Yeah. What's your problem with my schedule?" she asked you rudely.

You didn't have a problem with her schedule per se, you just had a problem with there not being enough coverage with her schedule. And, since you worked at every building, you'd have nights when you worked here alone—which you shouldn't be doing, but management didn't care—because she worked long shifts for eight days straight, and then the other six, it would usually just be you or someone else working here alone and you had brought this up to your supervisor when he asked if you'd come across anything you wanted to fix.

"I- I don't have a problem with your schedule. It's just that sometimes there's only one person here and it gets hard in the mornings." Since you worked with kids, sometimes when you were by yourself, you'd have to get them out to the bus stop and that made it hard to do because you couldn't leave all the other kids in the building alone while you went to do that, so you'd have to call other buildings to see if they had a staff available to come help you. Contrary to popular belief, you couldn't be in two places at once.

"Yeah. And that happens to me sometimes, too. But we do it. And now because of what you said, my schedule might get changed—"

"That wasn't my intention, it was just—"

"Can I finish?" You nodded. "And now my schedule might get changed and this is the schedule that works for me. You only pick up here, so if you don't like it, don't pick up shifts here."

Tears began to prick your eyes. "I get scheduled here. I don't pick up." You took a deep breath. "My intention was just to figure out a way to get coverage, not to have your schedule get changed."

"Well, maybe you need to tell your supervisor that you don't want to be scheduled here anymore if you don't like the way we do things over here."

At this, the dam broke. You frantically wiped at your eyes. "I'm sorry. It's- It's not this. I just got rejected from grad school and it's just everything. Sorry."

At this, she softened. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. Don't let anyone here make you cry, not even me. It's not worth it."

You nodded. "Yeah. Can I- can I go now?" You asked while trying to stop the tears from falling. You didn't feel like walking out of the office and having yet another one of your coworkers see you cry.

She nodded and you quickly wiped your eyes once more and walked out of the office, just willing your eyes to stay dry until you got outside.

You sniffled all the way until you got to one of the buildings the kids used for gym class during the day that you knew would be empty because they were all sleeping. You buzzed yourself in and then quickly made your way to the bathroom and locked yourself in a stall.

You leaned your head against the door. "Fuck," you muttered.

Everything about the past few days came flooding through you and you began to cry so hard that you could barely catch your breath. And, you weren't even an hour into your shift.

Your breath was coming out in short bursts as you pulled out your phone to text Tamara and tell her that you were in the gym bathrooms because you needed a minute and that you'd be back soon. Then, not caring that this was a bathroom, you slid down and leaned against the wall and pulled out a breathing app on your phone that you had for times like this. You hadn't had an anxiety attack or whatever the fuck this was that was prompting your frantic breathing in a year and a half, but you had kept the app because you knew you might need it one day. Today—well tonight—seemed to be that day.

You were focused on your breathing—breathe in through your nose, hold, breathe out through your mouth—for three minutes before your breathing returned to a semi-normal rate. Then, you continued the breathing exercise for two more minutes just to be safe.

When you closed the app, you saw that Tamara had texted you and asked if you were okay and if she needed to come over there. You told her you were on your way back to your building now.

Then, you pocketed your phone and splashed some water on your face, and dabbed it dry with some paper towel. Your eyes were still red, but at least you didn't have tear stains on your face. After taking one last deep breath, you left the bathroom and then the building and began your quick and cold walk back to the other building and the coworkers you actually enjoyed working with.

When you got back inside, you told your coworkers what had happened and then Tamara asked if you wanted a hug, which you gratefully accepted.

You knew a bigger breakdown over grad school rejection was going to happen eventually, you just didn't think it was going to happen at work.

And, if the first half of January was anything to go by, you were in for one hell of a month.

***

"Well, look who's finally awake," Will chirped when you walked into the kitchen after waking up for your day...which was everyone else's night.

"I went to bed at 10 am," you shot back. "And I don't like to talk to people when I first wake up, remember?"

"Oh, yeah, that's right. The one time of day when you're actually quiet."

You went to flip Will off when Jay quickly butted in. "Y/N, there's leftover pasta in the fridge for you to take to work."

"And there's loukoumades for you, too," Hailey added.

"Hailey's my favorite sibling!" you exclaimed and then began to make your coffee as you drowned out the noise of Will and Jay trying to argue about why they should be your favorite sibling...well, mostly Will because Jay knew Hailey was his better half by a long shot.

Once you made your coffee and a bowl of yogurt and fruit for breakfast, you made your way back upstairs to your room to read for a while before you started getting ready for work.

***

When you took a sip of your coffee, your lips puckered in disgust. It was way too bitter and...you had forgetter creamer.

"Ugh," you groaned and then stood up from your chair. You were so cozy with your robe and slippers on and a blanket covering your lap that you almost decided to forgo your coffee, but who were you kidding, you needed that caffeine.

You grabbed your mug of now lukewarm coffee and made your way out of your room. You started down the stairs as normal until your slipper caught the edge of one of the stairs.

***

Jay, Hailey, and Will were all still sitting at the table, each enjoying a cold beer when they heard a thump, thump, thump on the stairs above them.

Jay and Hailey's reflexes kicked in just a hair faster than Will's and they sprinted over to the steps to see you laying on the landing of the stairs with coffee spilled all over you and your head against the wall.

You swear you had never seen Jay run as fast as he did then. He cursed to himself as he bounded up the stairs two at a time and quickly crouched in front of you.

"Can you move your arm?" he asked. You hadn't noticed that your arm was placed between you and the wall. You lifted up your arm and nodded.

"My coffee," you cried.

"You can make more coffee, Y/N. Did you hit your head?"

You nodded tearfully and Jay looked back at Will. Your two brothers traded places and Jay picked up your empty coffee mug—thank God it hadn't broken—and then made his way downstairs to grab the first aid kit and some towels. Hailey followed him to give Will room to work if needed and made her way to the freezer to grab an ice pack.

"Where'd you hit it?" Will asked you and you leaned forward and put your fingers on the back of your head. Will nodded and you put your hand down and he felt around the area and looked for blood. "No blood, so that's good. There is a little bump, though. Any dizziness? Nausea?" You shook your head. "Okay, good. But, I'm still gonna have you stay home from work tonight because those symptoms can have a delayed onset, so I don't want to miss something and then have you have to be rushed to the hospital while at work. I'll write you a doctor's note if I have to."

You were about to protest because if you called out now since it was only three hours until your shift, you could get written up. But, you'd only used a single one of your sick days out of the five you had and they reset in April, so you figured you'd be fine if you explained the situation. "Fine," you agreed. "Can I go back to bed then?"

"Nope. I want you to stay up for a couple of hours. It's not good for you to go to sleep right after hitting your head even if you do feel fine. After that, you can sleep all you want. I just need to see if you puke or not."

"She good? No hospital?" Jay asked since he and Hailey had been waiting at the foot of the stairs with supplies.

"No hospital. Just stay home from work and ice her head. Doesn't look like the coffee was hot enough to burn her based on her skin and her not telling me, but if she says anything, give me a call."

"I'm right here you know!"

"Oh, we know," Will said. "But, you're still under Jay's health insurance."

You rolled your eyes and then held out a hand for Will to help you up. He did and you made your way back upstairs and to your room to quickly grab a different pair of pajamas and then head to the bathroom to take a shower to get all the coffee off of yourself.

Then, you made your way back downstairs—carefully this time—and saw that Hailey had made you a new cup of coffee and had a small plate of loukoumades sitting next to it.

"After you eat those, you need to ice your head," Hailey told you.

"Uh-huh."

"C'mon, the boys are getting the tv set up for us."

"What are we watching?"

"I may or may not have convinced them to put on Outer Banks since Will still hasn't started it."

You smiled. "Yay!"

Then, you picked up your coffee and plate of Greek donuts and made your way to the couch where Jay tried to steal one of your loukoumades, but Hailey quickly swatted his hand away.

"You already had yours. Now press play, Halstead."

***

"Y/N, hey, wake up," you heard as you felt someone shaking your shoulder. In your sleep-addled brain, it took you a moment to process that it was Jay waking you up. "Y/N, can you hear me?"

"Mhm," you answered. "Wanna sleep."

"You've slept for at least twelve hours."

This got you to roll over and check the time on your phone. 5:37 pm. You had slept for over twelve hours; Jay was right.

"What time did you go to bed?" You went to answer, but then Jay stopped you. "Wait, any dizziness? Nausea? Blurry vision? You feel like your head is going to explode?"

"I feel fine."

"Okay. So, what time did you end up going to bed?"

"I fell asleep on the couch until three, and then I woke up and went on Tik Tok until five and then I went back to sleep." You yawned. "I shouldn't be tired! What the hell?"

"Just, get up and get moving around and then you'll probably wake up more."

Then, Jay left your room, but not without turning your light on which then forced you to either get up or get up out of bed and turn off the light and go back to bed. You were already up anyway, so you figured you might as well have a slow morning before going into your shift, so you decided to just get up and go downstairs to get some food and coffee.

After making yourself breakfast and a cup of coffee, you went to the bathroom before heading back to your room and saw that you had gotten a surprise.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," you mumbled and then grabbed a tampon from the cabinet under the sink. You had just gotten your period two weeks ago, you weren't supposed to get it again! But, at least the panic attack made sense now.

You left the bathroom to once again be met with Jay.

"You didn't puke in there, did you?" he asked. "You were in there for a while."

"Jesus Christ, let me guess? Will put you up to this?"

"Yup. He told me to monitor you closely since you slept so long."

"But you still went to work today and left me by myself," you said. "And for your information, I got my period. So now I have a reason why I had a panic attack at work the other night and I'm not just crazy."

You went to grab your food from the counter but were stopped from going up to your room by your brother.

"Whoa, you had a panic attack at work? Why didn't you tell me? Or Hailey? Or Will?"

Shit. You had forgotten that you just went straight to bed after that shift and didn't tell anyone.

You sighed and sat down at the table with your food and coffee instead of going upstairs. "Because I was tired after work and I went right to bed and then I just forgot to tell you. I journaled about it though."

"That's good. Do you still want to talk about it?" he asked.

So, you launched into the story of your night of being chewed out by Tia and then having a panic attack in the bathroom.

"She had no right to talk to you like that, you know," Jay said once you were finally finished.

"I know. And she's on my shit list for it." You would've said she's on my fucking shit list for it, but you knew Jay hated when you dropped the f-bomb. A year ago, he would've hated you swearing in any capacity, but now you thought that he was finally coming to terms with the fact that you were a grown woman and would swear whether he liked it or not and whether he heard you or not.

"I knew the mental breakdown from all this school stuff was gonna come sooner or later, but I didn't think it was gonna happen at work."

Jay nodded; he honestly had no idea what to say at this moment. Did he agree? Comfort you? Finally, he settled on a mixture between comfort and encouragement while you focused on blowing on your coffee to make sure that it wasn't too hot.

"Hey, you'll get through this, alright? Just keep applying. You didn't work your ass off in school for nothing. And, it's their loss if they don't want you."

You smiled. Jay was oblivious to some things, but he always knew just what to say when you needed a pick me up.

"Thanks, Jay."

"Anytime, kid."

***

You were going to lose your damn mind. You had all this stuff to do and submit and one of the people who said that they'd write you letters of recommendation for your PhD programs said that they're really busy and they might not be able to get to the ones for the PsyD programs you were applying to. And Jay and Will heard all your bitching about this. How fucking hard was it for her to change the date and the name of the school on the letter and send it in? Unbelievable.

You couldn't think of anyone and you were running out of time to get these in.

"Fuck," you muttered.

You heard a knock on your door. "Y/N? You still up in there?"

Shit. You forgot it was Jay and Hailey's RDO today.

"Yeah, why?"

It was only half an hour past the normal time you'd be sleeping anyway.

"Me and Hailey are going out for breakfast. You wanna come? Or we can bring something back for you."

"Bring something back," you said quickly. You were not in a state to be out right now because you knew the minute that you saw lots of people, you were going to have a full-fledged breakdown.

"Okay, I'll send the menu so you can tell me what you want. Goodnight."

"Night," you answered.

***

"I'm just gonna go check on her," Jay said when Hailey asked him why he was walking towards your room instead of their room once they'd gotten home from going out for breakfast. The two had planned on having a lazy day of watching tv on the couch along with a few beers. And, instead of going to change into comfy clothes right away, Jay decided to take a peek into your room.

The sight he saw when he cracked open your door broke his heart.

You were pacing your room and pulling at the roots of your hair while your breathing came out in short bursts.

"Hey, hey," Jay said quickly as he opened the door wider and made his way into your room.

You turned around at the sound of his voice. "I- I—"

"Don't try and talk. Let's just sit down, okay?"

You nodded and he gently placed his hand on your shoulder and helped lead to your bed.

You both sat down and Jay offered you his hand for you to squeeze. You took it.

"Breathing app," you told him through your rapid breathing. "On—" Breath. "—Phone." Breath.

"Say cheese," Jay said as he put the phone in front of you, screen-facing, so that he could open it. "What's it called?"

"Ti-ide," you said and grabbed his arm.

"Tide?" You nodded. "I gotcha, I gotcha," he said and then sat down next to you and held the phone between the two of you. "In," he narrated as you watched the circle on the app expand. "Hold..." Pause. "Exhale." The circle deflated.

"It's not--"

"Just keep breathing," Jay encouraged. "Think of a bubble, just like on the app."

You continued to hold on to his arm and continued to follow the breathing on the app for six more minutes.

Jay handed your phone back to you after he saw your breathing had evened out and you confirmed you were okay.

"Is this what happened at work the other night?" he asked gently.

You nodded. "I think I need to go to the doctor. I can't keep living like this, Jay!"

"I know you can't. And I'll do everything in my power to help you. But, don't you mean therapy?"

"No, a doctor. My period's being all weird and my anxiety's bad and maybe I need to be on Xanax or something. I can't keep doing this!"

"I know. Do you know why this happened? For my PTSD, there's always a trigger, was there one for you?"

"Just all this grad school stuff."

"Still can't think of anyone else to write you a letter?" You shook your head. "Could you use your supervisor at work?"

"Probably," you answered. "Maybe I'll use my old one from when I was on dayshift though because I like her better."

"Okay, send her an email. The worst she can say is no."

"And then I'll have to think of another person--"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there. For now, just email her and then schedule a doctor's appointment. You should be able to do it online. And, me and Hailey got you some food so come out and grab it whenever you're ready. I'll put it in the fridge for you."

"Thanks, Jay."

He didn't know if you meant the help with the panic attack or the help with grad school or getting you food, but no matter which one you were thanking him for, the answer was still the same: "Anytime, kid."

***

"Okay, Y/N," Hannah said when you came to see her in the ED one day. (This was a planned appointment, but you knew she could possibly have to run out of the appointment if she is needed in the ED.) "So it says here in your online chart that you wanted to come in because of irregular periods and anxiety?"

"Yeah," you answered.

"And how long have your periods been irregular?"

"A month and a half, two months," you answered. "Around the time I started getting rejection letters for grad school."

"Yeah, Will's told me you've been applying. I bet that's really stressful."

"Yeah, it is. And now I have to apply to different degree programs because I didn't get into Ph.D. programs, so it's been a lot."

"Well, stress can play a big role in our cycle. So, what I'm gonna do is ask you some questions and then do the physical exam, see if there's anything I can find that could be causing this. I also want to run some labs just to check your blood work."

"Okay, but does it have to be fasted?" you asked. "Because I just came from work, so there's food in my system."

"I'd be concerned if there wasn't food in your system after working all night," Hannah joked. "But no, it doesn't have to be fasted. I mainly want to get your thyroid levels checked.

"Now, the anxiety, tell me about that. Is it more general? Is it panic attacks? When does the anxiety start? That kind of thing."

"Um, it's more general, I guess. I've only had two panic attacks, but I get like anxiety attacks when I see that there's gonna be a lot of people."

"A lot of people like what? Can you give me an example?"

"Like if I'm at the gym and there's a lot of people there, then I want to leave because I'm getting anxious."

"Okay, so in looking at your chart, I saw that you're on an antidepressant. So, based on what you just told me, there are two options. The first is that I can put you on hydroxyzine, which is an anti-anxiety medication that you can just take as needed. Or, I can increase your dosage of antidepressants and get you set up with one of our social workers here at the hospital who can teach you some coping skills or refer you to a therapist," Dr. Asher told you.

"Is there any way my body could constantly be PMS-ing? Because I used to get anxious around my period and now I'm having my period a lot more, so could that be it?" you asked.

"It definitely could be, which is why I want to have you get your labs done so we check your thyroid levels. But, if you don't want to do anything with your meds, we can always just have you meet with the social worker and see how that goes."

"What would you recommend? In terms of the hydroxyzine?" you asked.

"You've told me you've only had two panic attacks so far, so based on that, I think you could do either way with the medication. We could always increase your antidepressants and then when I follow up with you in a month, if nothing's changed, we can get you some hydroxyzine. It's completely up to you."

"Okay, let's just up my meds for now and if I need to go on the hydroxyzine later, I can."

"Okay, perfect, let me go get someone to get those labs done and then you're free to go."

"Thanks, Hannah."

***

3 days later

When you woke up, you saw that you had a voicemail and that it was from Hannah. You assumed it was regarding your labs.

"Hi, Y/N, it's Doctor Asher. I have some information I'd like to share with you concerning your test results from the blood panel that was done. These charts are also available in your online chart if you would like to see them. Please call me back when you get the chance. And if I don't answer your call, please leave a message with the best time that you can be reached. Have a good day."

You quickly logged into your chart to see the results yourself since you knew that your results would be there.

What you saw was something that you assumed might be the problem based on the research you had done on your own since you went to see Hannah a few days ago. (There was no way in hell you were talking to Will about this, and you had to beg and plead with Jay to convince him not to talk to Will about it. But, in the end, he agreed because you cited that he wouldn't be able to give you the check-up in the ED anyway since he was family, and by law, he couldn't do that. And, you also promised that if it was anything serious or if there was anything wrong at all, you would loop Will in yourself or that you would give Jay permission to loop him in.)

Your thyroid levels were slightly elevated, and in the notes, it said that during the physical exam, your thyroid did feel a bit enlarged. Because of this, Dr. Asher would recommend having an ultrasound of the thyroid...At least, that's what you gathered from all the medical jargon you read. And, because of said jargon, you assumed that this is why Hannah wanted you to call her back so that she could explain it to you.

You called her back.

"Hello, this is Dr. Asher," she greeted when she picked up.

"Hey, Hannah, it's Y/N Halstead. I'm calling because you told me you had my test results back."

"Yes, I do. Just give me one second to get it pulled up here..." There was a pause on the line and you could hear her typing away on the computer. "Here it is. Did you get a chance to look at your results from your online chart yet? If not, I can read the results to you over the phone."

"I looked at them," you told her.

"Okay, so what I'm going to do is just break down the results for you and then tell you the next step. Feel free to stop me at any time with any questions, okay, Y/N?"

"Okay, yeah."

She broke down the results for you and they were exactly what you had assumed from your online chart...and what was actually written in your online chart. But, you assumed that it was just standard protocol for her to have to break down the results to you over the phone or in person.

"So we just want to get an ultrasound of your thyroid to see if the thyroid is actually enlarged since your thyroid hormone levels were slightly elevated and your thyroid gland was slightly enlarged from what I gathered from the physical exam," Hannah finished.

"So, what happens now? Like, after the ultrasound?" you asked.

"If the thyroid isn't enlarged, then we just continue what we talked about, taking the increased dose of Zoloft and then meeting with the social worker and following up with me in a month about the anxiety and the irregular periods," she told you. "But, if the thyroid is enlarged, we'd put you on medication for that so that your levels can stabilize."

"Okay."

"Any more questions?"

"Nope," you answered.

"Alright, well, I'm gonna give you the number for scheduling so that we can get you scheduled for that ultrasound of the thyroid. But, feel free to call me or send me a message on your online chart if you have any other questions or concerns, okay?"

"Okay, thanks, Hannah."

"No problem, Y/N."

She gave you the number and told you to have a good day and then you said the same to her and ended the call.

You grabbed your book and started to walk upstairs to tell Jay when you thought of something: he might not even realize that you could get an ultrasound for other things besides being pregnant. Your other brother knew this, but you weren't sure if this one did.

These next few minutes were going to be really interesting.

***

At least, you thought it was going to be the next few minutes. Turns out, you had a few hours to talk to Jay because all he told you was a raid went sideways. Granted, it was mid-week, and for some reason, crime was slow during on Monday and Tuesday and ramped up a bit on Jay and Hailey's RDO, which was Wednesday, and they'd usually come back on Thursday to a full-fledged case. It was almost like criminals hated Mondays as much as the rest of the world did.

So, to calm your nerves about grad school and everything else that was a fucking mess in your life, you decided to make yourself—and Jay and Hailey—pasta salad with chicken for dinner.

You turned on one of the tv shows you had to catch up on and then started boiling the water for the pasta and took the veggies out of the fridge along with a cutting board from the cabinet and a knife from the knife block to start chopping up the veggies.

***

An hour later, you had let the chicken nuggets and the pasta cool in the fridge for half an hour and had just finished cutting up the chicken nuggets and were about to mix everything together when the door opened.

"Hey, I made pasta salad for dinner—" You turned. "Will? What are you doing here? I thought you were Jay or Hailey."

"Jay told me you had a doctor's appointment a couple days ago and I figured I'd come over and check you out, see what's the matter, and then start the Hawks game with you guys."

"And Jay knows you're coming over? Did he tell you to come over? Or just tell you I had a doctor's appointment?" you asked, stopping your stirring of the pasta salad so that you could give him your full attention...and to make sure you were making eye contact to try and figure out if he was lying to you or not.

"He just told me you had a doctor's appointment the other day and that he's worried about you. I told him I'd come and check you out, but that's all he told me." Will's phone buzzed. "Speak of the devil. It's Jay. Said he and Hailey are picking up Gino's on the way home." He glanced at the bowl in front of you. "But, it looks like you already made something, so..."

"I'll just save it for lunch for the next couple of days; I'm not passing up Gino's pizza." Will tapped his phone screen a few times. "What did you just tell him?" you asked and took the spoon from the pasta salad that you had begun to stir once again and pointed it at him.

"Just gave him a thumbs up. Now, tell me what's going on, and finish making your food so I can give you a check-up."

"Don't really wanna tell you," you mumbled.

"Hey, whatever it is, I promise you I've seen worse. Nothing will phase me. Unless you're pregnant. Then there might be some issues, more with Jay than with me, but still."

"It's the exact opposite of being pregnant."

"So, you're not pregnant?"

"No, I'm not pregnant, Will! Jesus."

"That's the same thing that Mary thought when she was pregnant with Jesus."

"Will!"

"Fine, fine. I won't push you. But, I can promise you that whatever it is, I've seen worse. Plus, If you don't tell me, I'll just convince Jay to tell me."

You sighed. Jay still didn't know that you needed an ultrasound for your thyroid, so maybe telling Will first would help so that Jay doesn't pop off on you when he hears the word ultrasound and his brain automatically goes to pregnancy.

"Just, let me stir this and cover it and put it in the fridge first."

Will nodded and sat down and you finished stirring the pesto into the pasta salad and then covered it with Saran Wrap and placed it on a shelf in the fridge.

Then, you sat down in your usual spot at the table.

"I've been getting my period a lot," you told him.

Will nodded, his eyebrows furrowing as you knew his brain was running through all the possible medical problems that have period issues as one of their symptoms. "How much is a lot? Like, constantly? And when did it start?"

So you went into the whole spiel you had already told Hannah, including the increased anxiety and what you and Hannah had decided to do about it.

"Does Jay know about this?" Will asked after you were finished.

"He knows about everything except the ultrasound. I just got those results a few hours ago."

"Do you have them on your online chart?" Will asked and you nodded. "Mind if I take a look?"

"Knock yourself out," you told him and then opened your phone and navigated to your test results on your online chart and then passed him your phone.

You sat in silence for a minute while Will looked over the results.

"So, you need an ultrasound of your thyroid?" he asked, even though he already knew that it was recommended from what he read on your chart, he didn't know if you had agreed to it.

"Yeah. I was gonna ask you to come with me though after I told Jay and Hailey tonight because I've never had an ultrasound done before," you said.

"Of course, I'll come. Just tell me the date and time and even if I'm working, I'm sure Maggie can cover for me after I explain what's going on. You want me to tell you what happens at an ultrasound?"

"I know what happens," you answered. "They put gel on me and then they put this wand thingy over top so that they can look at my insides."

Will stifled a laugh at how you described it, but he had to give it to you, you were right. "That's exactly what happens. Now, can I feel your neck so I can see if I can feel if your thyroid is enlarged?"

"On one condition." He cocked an eyebrow at you, silently urging you to continue. "You have to tell Jay that I'm getting an ultrasound because he'll flip out and think I'm pregnant if you say it."

"Deal."

***

"Anything from the doctor?" Jay asked as he put a slice of deep-dish pizza on your plate and then passed it to you.

"Which one?" you asked and looked at Will.

"I mean, did you tell him what's going on?"

"I did," you confirmed.

Now Jay's attention was wholly on Will. "So, what do you think is going on?" Jay asked Will.

"Well, I wasn't the one who examined her, but I did what I could here and read the results of her thyroid test."

"And what did they say?"

"I'm right here, guys!" you exclaimed, causing Hailey to laugh.

Jay turned to you. "Yeah, but you're not a doctor, so I want to hear it from someone who understands doctor language himself."

"Technically, it's medical terminology," you muttered and then began eating your pizza, curious as to how Will was going to reveal to your non-doctor brother that you were going to have an ultrasound and the reason for it was not because you were pregnant.

"She has to get an ultrasound," was what Will decided on.

"What?!" Jay exclaimed. "I thought you couldn't get your period when you're—"

"She's not pregnant, Jay! She needs an ultrasound of her thyroid," Will clarified.

Hailey was just laughing at how stupid her husband was while you just rolled your eyes. "I could've done that," you told Will.

"And I should've taken a video! That was priceless!" Hailey chimed in.

"And she needs an ultrasound because...?" Jay prompted Will.

And so Will launched into the details that he was better fit to explain than you were while you just ate your pizza.

"And you'll come to the ultrasound with me?" you asked Will once again, just to double-check. "I've never had one done before and what if something's really wrong with me?"

"First off, the worst case scenario is that you have to go on a medication for your thyroid," Will began. "And, yes, I'll go with you. Just tell me the time and date and I'll come and wait with you. I don't think I can go in, since the rooms are pretty small in radiology and you're not a minor, but I'll be in the waiting area the whole time."

"You promise?"

"I promise. And if it's a day I'm working, I'm sure Maggie could cover for me," he repeated.

"Okay."

"So, how's the applications coming?" Will asked.

You groaned. "Ugh, don't remind me. I've submitted all of them except I just have to resend my transcripts to one of them in Arizona because I sent it to the wrong email address."

"How do you send it to the wrong email address?" Jay asked.

"He wouldn't know because he didn't go to college," Will fake whispered to his sister-in-law who was sitting next to him. Jay just rolled his eyes.

"I sent it to the psych department, not the graduate admissions committee," you answered.

Jay nodded. "Any word from the school in Hawaii yet?"

"Nope. You'd know if there was."

"You just want to go to Hawaii, babe," Hailey said.

"Yeah, and? Beats winters in Chicago."

"And it's super expensive, so hopefully I'll get assistantships or scholarships," you said.

"What about the one in Chicago, Y/N?" Hailey asked. "I know that's bottom of your list because it's cold and because Jay would pressure you to stay at home—"

"I would not!"

"Yes, you would!" you, Will, and Hailey yelled, causing Jay's eyes to widen.

"Uh, that was freaky. How about you guys never do that again, okay?" Jay said. "I thought it was the beginning of February; not Halloween."

"Hailey, I don't know what you see in him," you told her, causing Jay's jaw to drop.

"Hey! For your information—"

"I didn't hear back from anyone yet," you said loudly, cutting Jay off before he said something that would discreetly hint at his sex life with Hailey. "And when I do, I'll tell you guys. Now, can we finish eating and watch the game? I really don't want to have to think about this more than I have to."

Hailey nodded in understanding, since she too suffered from anxiety and then she proceeded to tell the story of the antics that Adam and Kevin had been up to today in the bullpen while everyone had been listening to the wire for their latest case (which they now had a lead on and would be picking up tomorrow, hence Jay and Hailey getting home later than usual).

***

One week later

"So, Y/N, tell me about what's going on," the social worker, Marsha, asked you at 12:45 pm that afternoon as you sat in her office for your scheduled appointment on your day off (as in, you hadn't had to work the night before, but had to work tonight. Even Jay got confused with your schedule sometimes. Will, on the other hand, understood since he had worked many a night shift during his residency).

And so, you launched into the story about grad school and anxiety.

"So, I can definitely refer you to a therapist if you would like that," Marsha said. "Or, I can work with you and teach you skills to manage your anxiety."

You'd always had some anxiety, it had just increased in recent weeks because of the rejections you'd gotten and all the added stress of trying to find another program that still had open applications.

"I think I want to learn some skills," you answered. "Seems like this is just gonna be something I have to live with."

"Ok, so I want to tell you about anxiety and why it happens and how it's sometimes a good thing and then we can move on to some skills you've tried..."

***

"And I'm gonna give you some homework this week," Marsha said at the end of your session. She passed you a piece of paper. "All I want you to do is notice when you have anxiety and what the physical symptoms are. You don't have to write them on this piece of paper; it's just a list of possible physical symptoms and the anxiety pyramid that we talked about if you want to reference them if you want. All I want you to do is notice when your anxiety flares up. Then, we can figure out what to do in these types of situations."

"Okay, sounds good," you told her.

Then, she stood up and you followed her out of her office and back into the waiting room. "You know your way out from here?" she asked.

"Yup," you answered.

When in reality, you didn't. But, Will said he'd meet you outside the waiting room doors at 1:50 to go with you to your ultrasound appointment in the radiology wing, and it was currently 1:55.

"You're not in your scrubs," you said when you saw him right when you opened the doors to the hallway.

"Nope. Ms. Goodwin gave me a half day today, so we can get lunch after if you want."

"As long as we can get coffee for me to bring to work, sure." You noticed his backpack. "Can you put these in here?" you asked, holding the two pieces of paper out to him. "I only brought my lanyard with all my keys and stuff."

"Yup." He took the papers from you and put down his backpack and put the papers inside. "You ready?"

"Yeah. You promise it won't hurt?" you asked, slightly nervous.

"I promise. It might just feel a little cold at first."

***

"See? I told you it wouldn't be so bad," Will said once you were out of the ultrasound.

"Yeah. But I won't know the results for a few days so can you—"

"I'm not gonna look at your chart and tell you the results," Will stated as you exited the waiting room.

"But why not? I give you full permission so it's not against HIPAA."

"Technically, it is because I can't just go in there and look at a family member's chart. That, and I'm not a radiologist. When they send you the results, I can look them over if you let me see them. But, before then, I can't. And, I'd trust a radiologist's opinion on this more than mine."

"Fine. Now, how about IHOP for lunch?"

"Already a step ahead of you. It'll be ready for pickup in ten minutes."

"And you got me the pancakes I like?" you asked and narrowed your eyes at him.

"Yes, I got you the cinnamon roll ones."

You broke out into a smile. "You're my favorite brother...just don't tell Jay that. He thinks he's the favorite."

***

One week later, late February

You got your results back. After skimming them, you figured you'd understood them, but wanted to call Will just in case. And he confirmed it. There was nothing wrong with your thyroid.

"So it's all in my head?" you asked. "My body hates me because I'm stressed? God, I can't even do basic human functions right."

"Y/N, what did I tell you? It's normal to be stressed out like this. It's a big thing," Will said over the phone.

"Don't you think I know that?! This is my whole career here! My whole life!" You took a deep breath. "Sorry. I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that."

"It's okay," he said. "You're super stressed out. But, you'll get in somewhere."

"Yeah, that's what everyone keeps saying." Then, your phone vibrated. "Hang on. That might be a school."

"They're calling you? That's a good sign, Y/N."

"They're not calling me; I put their emails as important so it'll notify me. I'm putting you on speaker while I read this."

You quickly put Will on speaker and then navigated to your emails. "It's the one in Hawaii," you told him. You held your breath as you opened the email. You skimmed it. And you stayed silent.

"What? What's it say?"

"I didn't get in," you said quietly.

"Aw, man. I'm sorry, kiddo. But, you still have five more to hear back from."

"Yeah. I just...I really wanted to go to school in Hawaii," you lamented. "I know it was a long shot to get in because I missed their priority deadline because I was still waiting on my Ph.D. application results, but still."

"Hey, look at it this way," Will began, "when you're making bank as a world-renowned neuropsychologist, you'll have more than enough money to vacation there a few times a year. Just make sure you don't forget to bring your favorite brother with you."

You rolled your eyes. "I dunno about world-renowned."

"Fine. USA-renowned."

"Goodbye, Will," you laughed.

"Bye, kiddo. Have a good night at work. Maybe drink a glass of wine before going to work. Just... don't tell Jay I said that. You've got what, seven hours before your shift?"

"That's actually a good idea. I'll swipe some of Hailey's pink Moscato. She's fine with it. She barely drinks it anyway."

"Alright, just one glass," Will reiterated.

"Bye, Will."

***

Two weeks later, early March

You woke up and checked the time. 2 pm. You still had two hours to sleep until your alarm went off. But, as was customary for the past two months, you navigated to your emails.

There, at the top, was one from Southern Arizona University.

You felt like you couldn't breathe as you opened the email.

Hello,

We have reviewed your application, evaluated your credentials and letters of recommendation, and would like to invite you to interview in person for the Doctoral program (Psy. D.) in Clinical Psychology at the SAU campus.

Your jaw dropped as you continued reading the finer details such as the date, time, location, and how to RSVP.

Today was Wednesday, Jay and Hailey's RDO.

You ran out of your room.

"Jay! Jay! Jay!" you yelled.

He immediately woke up from where he had been dozing off on the couch with Hailey next to him who had been wide awake. She grabbed her phone while he jumped up.

"What? What's wrong? What hurts?" he asked as he quickly looked you over.

"No, no nothing's wrong! I got an interview with Southern Arizona! It's in person in two weeks!"

"That's great, Y/N!" Hailey said at the same time that Jay said, "See? I told you that you'd get in somewhere!"

"I didn't get in yet, Jay," you told him.

"I know, but you're still one step closer."

You pulled out your phone. "I know Will's working, but I gotta text him and tell him!"

Hailey groaned as she looked at her phone's calendar. "Shit, Jay. We have that mandatory training that week for our detective's recertification."

Jay threw his head back and groaned. "It's not even that important. Voight and Platt will let us out of it."

"You know this isn't their call. It's the Ivory Tower that schedules this one. And it's the last one of the quarter. We don't go to this one..."

"We can't work until mid-April at the earliest. We'll be suspended," Jay finished.

"Exactly."

"Will can come with me," you said. "I can't just not go and I'm not going to Arizona by myself."

"Yeah, even if Will has to work, we'd find someone to bring you," Jay said. "Maybe Kim as a backup. No way in hell are you going to Arizona by yourself, you're damn right about that."

"Listen, we'll figure out the logistics of everything later," Hailey said. "For now, you just go back to bed so you're not too tired at work and then focus on being prepared for your interview. Just forward the email to me and Jay so we have the right place and date and time and we'll get everything figured out, okay?"

You smiled. "Okay."

"Now go back to sleep. You're going to Arizona for that interview no matter what," she reassured you.

"And, you're gonna do great," Jay added.

"I haven't even prepped for this yet."

"Still, I know you," Jay started. "You're gonna practice and know everything and then you'll do great. Now try and get some sleep before you have to go in tonight."

You nodded and turned around, still with a giant smile plastered on your face.

***

Five days later, Monday

You rolled over and checked the time. Fifteen minutes until you planned to get up, so you knew you wouldn't be able to go back to sleep no matter how hard you tried.

You immediately navigated to your emails as you had done for the past two months.

There, at the top, was one from Kansas City Health College and University in Missouri.

Hi, Y/N!

We have reviewed your application, and the committee is interested in offering you an opportunity to interview. Are you available this week or next?

Your jaw dropped and you broke out into a smile.

Another school wanted you! You might have options now!

You knew Hailey and Jay were unlikely to be home right now, so you went to your text messages and opened the group chat between you, Jay, Hailey, and Will.

I got an interview for Kansas City! you wrote.

Not even fifteen seconds later, your phone rang.

"Did you get my text?" you asked when you answered Will's phone call.

"I did," Will confirmed. "Good job! But, is the interview in-person?"

"I don't know," you answered. "I'll email them."

"Okay, just let me know. They approved my PTO request to come to Arizona with you in a couple weeks, but I don't know if I can swing another vacation. Jay or Hailey might have to go with you to this one."

"Okay, and it's an eight-hour drive from here, so we don't have to fly there if the interview is in-person."

"It seems short now, but it won't feel that way when you're driving for that long."

You rolled your eyes. "Uh-huh. Did you look up flight tickets for Arizona yet?"

"That's what I was doing before I called you. Is it your weekend off before the interview or after the interview?"

"Before the interview," you told him.

"Okay. I work a shift on Saturday, so the earliest we could fly out is Sunday morning. Then we have all day Monday to look at Pheonix and apartments and stuff and Tuesday you have to interview and we could fly home Wednesday or Thursday. How long did you take off for?"

"I have to go back into work that Thursday night."

"Okay, so we'll fly back Wednesday night, then you can sleep all day Thursday because my next shift is on Friday."

"Okay. And, I can stay at your house the night before if it's an early flight, right? I am not driving to your house at 3 am. Or you can sleep on the couch here."

"If it's early, it's probably better that you stay over here because I won't get home from work until 8:30 and then I'll probably have last-minute stuff to do. You know how it is."

"Yeah."

"Okay, well I'm gonna go so you email them and I can keep looking up flights. I'll let you know everything when I figure it all out."

"Sounds good."

Then, the two of you said your goodbyes and you emailed the school and responded to Jay and Hailey's congratulations texts.

Even if it was only two interviews out of the eleven schools total you had applied to so far, you were getting somewhere.

***

Four days later, Friday, day of virtual Kansas City interview

You opened the fridge and grabbed a hard seltzer just when you heard someone clearing their throat. You turned around with a sheepish expression on your face to see Jay standing there.

"So, we're drinking at 7:30 in the morning now, are we?" he asked.

"Your 7:30 in the morning is my 7:30 at night," you told him. "And, I have my interview later. Need something to calm my nerves before I go to bed."

"You've practiced more than enough; you'll do great. You don't need alcohol to calm your nerves."

He was right of course, on both fronts, but you weren't going to tell him that. You had researched questions you might be asked during your interview and then wrote down your answers and quizzed yourself multiple times until you were confident that you knew everything. You even had your coworkers quiz you on them last night and had Jay quiz you on them Wednesday night so that you knew for a fact that you knew everything. There were obviously questions that could come up that you weren't prepared for, but you had prepared for it as best you could with the information you currently had.

"I know," you begrudgingly agreed. "But still, let me do this. It's not like you haven't drank to calm your nerves before."

"She's got a point, Jay," Hailey said, seemingly appearing out of nowhere and maneuvering around Jay to get to the counter and begin making herself a cup of coffee.

"Why are you always on her side?" he asked.

"Technically, I'm not taking sides, just stating a fact. Let her have the drink. It's not like she's gonna get drunk. She's too smart to get drunk hours before her interview anyway."

"Thanks, Hailey," you said and then walked past Jay, who made no move to argue with you.

"Just, remember to put the can in the recycling when you wake up. And good luck with the interview later. Don't miss your alarm," he told you.

"I won't. I set one for like every minute from when I need to wake up to ten minutes after," you reassured.

And, when you made your way to your room, you could've sworn you heard Jay whsiper something along the lines of You're gonna be the death of me? You know that, right? to Hailey.

***

You felt like the interview went well. There were only two questions you hadn't practiced answering: (1) tell me about working with people from diverse backgrounds and (2) tell me about a time you had too much on your plate. How did you go about handling that?

Not to toot your own horn, but you felt like you gave pretty good answers to those questions despite being under pressure and not having practiced those beforehand.

Now though, it was time to calm down and try to go back to sleep for a few more hours before work. You had only gotten five hours of sleep before the interview and wanted to get at least another three before having to wake up again, do your morning routine, and go back to work.

So, now you needed to calm down and fall asleep without taking melatonin. So, you decided to go take a nice hot shower.

You didn't take long, only about fifteen minutes, and the minute you went and sat down in your bed to read to try and get your adrenaline to go down a bit more, your phone rang.

Will.

"Hey," you answered.

"So, how'd it go?" he asked. Honestly, he seemed more excited to talk about this than you did.

It was at this moment that you actually grasped how well you might have actually done during the interview phase.

"It actually went really well! There were only two questions I didn't know the answer to."

And then, you talked to Will about what the questions were and the answers you gave so that you could be prepared for your interview with SAU in a little under two weeks.

"Well, I'm gonna let you go so you can get some sleep, okay?" he said.

"Yeah. Hopefully reading for a bit will make me tired. I already took a hot shower to calm down, and it's calmed me just a little bit."

"It's the nerves," Will began. "You've been trying to get to this point for so long and all your adrenaline just hit you. You'll crash soon and sleep hard, though. Go, I dunno, make some tea to drink while you read or something," he suggested.

"That's actually a good idea. Thanks, Will."

"Anytime, kiddo. Now try and get some sleep. Make sure to text Jay and Hailey that the interview went well too because they probably want to know even if they're out chasing criminals all over the place."

"Doubt they could get to their phone to see the text if they're chasing people," you pointed out.

"You know what I mean. Now get some sleep."

***

5 days later, Wednesday

You woke up to someone gently touching your shoulder and saying your name.

"Y/N, you okay?"

Jay.

You grumbled, "Mhm. Why?"

"It's ten o'clock at night," he answered.

You rolled over and touched your phone, causing the screen to illuminate. Lo and behold, Jay was right. 10:02 pm.

You had worked six days straight since it had been your weekend on, and normally after these long stretches, you did sleep like ten hours, but you had never slept twelve. Granted, you did go to bed at around 10 am instead of your usual 8:30 because you had a doctor's appointment to follow up on your irregular periods (which were getting back to normal finally) and then you woke up around 1 pm for about an hour, but still, it was weird that you had slept this long.

"Guess I was just tired," you said. "I'll get up soon."

"Don't sleep all night. That's gonna mess you up for your shift tomorrow night."

"I know, Jay. I've been on nights for eight months now; I think I know what I'm doing."

"Okay, well, there's dinner in the fridge if you want some."

"Thanks."

Then, he left your room and you turned on your bedside lamp and sat up in bed, and opened your phone.

As was normal for you now, you navigated to your emails to see if you had heard back from any schools.

A few emails down was one that made your breath catch in your throat and your hands begin to shake.

From: Kansas City Health College and University

Subject line: Update KCHCU Admissions

You opened it and there was what looked to be a scanned document with the school's logo on top and the very first word was bolded and in cursive.

Congratulations!

Your eyes widened and your jaw dropped. You felt your heart beating out of your chest.

We are pleased to inform you that you have been admitted *with a Conditional Acceptance* to our program of: Doctor of Clinical Psychology (PsyD) for the Academic Year 2023-2024.

We hope this is one of many achievements in your professional career as a result of your continuous efforts.

*Please be aware that this is not your official acceptance notification. Official acceptance letters will be sent out upon completion of the required documents. Please fill out the attached documents as soon as possible.*

Sincerely,

The Admissions Office at Kansas City Health College and University.

A huge smile formed on your face as you shot out of bed and ran to Jay and Hailey's bedroom.

You quickly knocked on the door. "Nobody better be naked in there because I'm coming in!"

Without waiting for a reply, you opened the door. And, luckily, the only piece of clothing Jay was missing was a shirt (and you could see this because he had quickly sat up in bed and turned on his bedside lamp just as you opened the door).

"Some of us have to work in the morning, you know," Jay said.

At this, Hailey walked out of the bathroom, clad in her pajama bottoms and a t-shirt with her hair wrapped in a towel.

"You probably laid down two seconds before she knocked on the door," Hailey said.

"Technically, it was ten seconds," Jay sassed.

"Yeah, yeah," you said dismissively. "But I checked my emails and I got into Kansas City!" you exclaimed.

Hailey gasped. "Yay! Congratulations!" Then she made her way over to you and gave you a hug.

"See, I told you you could do it," Jay said and stood up and hugged you, too. "But, your first pick is still Arizona, right?"

"Yup," you told him. "But at least I have a backup school now if I don't get into SAU."

"So, what do you have to do now?"

"Fill out some documents." You passed him your phone. "Here's the email."

Jay told you to make sure you send in the documents by the deadline, which caused you to roll your eyes.

"Don't you have to pay something to secure your spot?" he asked.

"I think so," you said. "But it shouldn't be a ton, so if I get into SAU and have to tell them I decided to go to another school, I shouldn't be losing out on too much."

"Okay, good. See, I told you you'd get in somewhere."

"And I still have another interview."

"And you better text Will before he gets mad he had to hear it from one of us," Hailey pointed out.

"Oh, yeah," Jay agreed. "You better do that."

"I'll do that right now. Get some sleep, you guys."

"Night, Y/N, I'm so proud of you," Hailey said and gave you another hug.

"Night, kid," Jay said and gave you another hug as well.

Then, you made your way out of their room and into the kitchen to make yourself some food and coffee. As you were waiting for your coffee to finish brewing though, you made sure to text Will to let him know that you had at least gotten into one school, even if you considered it your backup school.

***

4 days later, Sunday

Your alarm sounded at 3:30 am and you silently cursed Will for wanting to get out on the first flight available. You rolled over and groaned into your pillow, but then quickly decided to get up because you knew if you kept laying down, you'd fall back to sleep and then Will would have to wake you up and you'd have to rush or you'd end up missing your flight altogether.

You heard the shower running as you grabbed your overnight oats from the fridge and then popped a pod into the Keurig.

Ten minutes later, you were rubbing your eyes and trying to stay awake while finishing your coffee when Will came into the kitchen.

"Morning," he greeted.

You groaned in response, looked up, and took another sip of your coffee. "I only slept five hours."

"And, I only slept three."

"That's not healthy for you."

"Neither is five."

You glared at him and he just smiled.

"Do you have Dramamine?" you asked.

"In my backpack. You should probably take it when we get to the airport, though."

"As long as I can get more coffee at the airport."

"You and me both," Will agreed.

***

You were not happy, let's just put it that way. There were so many people at Midway (since Jay wasn't flying with you, you and Will could fly out of Midway. Jay basically had a phobia of this airport now because he was abducted from here years ago) even though it was a 6 am flight on Sunday, that you and Will couldn't get more coffee.

"I'm gonna go find a vending machine," you said. "Can I have your card?" you asked.

You had time before you needed to board your flight and by finding a vending machine, you wouldn't have to waste time waiting in line. And, Will had told you to only bring your ID and some cash because he didn't want your debit or credit card getting stolen.

So, you went and found a vending machine and got yourself a Starbucks bottled frappuccino, and grabbed Will a boring plain latte.

"Here you go," you said and handed the coffee and his credit card to him.

"I didn't ask you to get me anything."

"Well, one it's your money, and two, don't take this the wrong way, but you look like shit."

Will rolled his eyes. "Thanks. I'm so glad I'm spending money to put up with you for a couple of days."

"Nah, you love me...at least, I'm your favorite sibling out of me and Jay."

"That's debatable. But you getting me this definitely earned a couple of points in that category."

Your phone buzzed. "It's Jay," you said after reading the text. "He said to have a good flight." Why your other brother was up at 5 am on a Sunday baffled you, but you figured it had something to do with his need for a consistent schedule and structure from his army days.

"He text it to the group chat?" Will asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"I have my phone on silent and if he only texted you that, then I'd be offended."

"That would mean that I'm his favorite sibling then," you pointed out. "I'm both your favorite siblings."

"Oh, you're the favorite something alright," Will muttered under his breath. Then, he remembered something. He quickly unzipped a pocket in his backpack and handed you the packet of Dramamine. "You should probably take this now."

"And this is why you're the doctor because I probably would've forgotten."

Will just shook his head. "I know. And then you'd be miserable for the entire flight, which would make me miserable and it just wouldn't be a good time."

You just took the pill in response and handed the package back to him. "I get the window seat," you told him.

"I already planned on it," Will answered.

And fifteen minutes later, you were in line to board.

***

After waiting in line for an hour to get your rental car, you were finally out of the airport in Pheonix. Because of the time difference between Pheonix and Chicago, you got into Pheonix around 8 am, and it was currently a little past 9 am. And needless to say, you and Will were hungry.

"You sure you're good to drive?" you asked. "They said I could drive it, just that I can't be the main renter."

It shocked you that you could actually drive a rental car since you weren't 25 yet, which is the age that you could legally rent a car. But, turns out, you could be a driver, just not the one who was the primary renter.

"I was there, I know," Will said. "And, I'm good to drive. I've worked lots of 24-hour shifts running on little sleep, so I'll be fine."

"Okay. But if you need to switch drivers, let me know."

"I will. Now, what sounds good to eat?"

"I say IHOP."

"Pancakes and a pot of coffee it is then," Will agreed.

You put in the address for the nearest IHOP and made your way there.

And when you were at the restaurant, Will may or may not have taken a picture of you devouring your pancakes and sent it to the group chat that only contained him, Jay, and Hailey.

***

The next day, Monday

"I say we leave Jay home more often," you said when you woke up the next morning around 8.

Jay was always the one who was go, go, go while on vacation like he couldn't relax. He'd have had you running around Pheonix until midnight if he were here and he more than likely would've woke up at 6 to workout and then made a ton of noise rummaging around for his suitcase that he would've woken everyone else up in the hotel room, too.

"I would ask you if you slept well because you said that," Will began, "but I know you did because you were snoring. I should've smothered you with the pillow."

"I'm telling Jay if I come up dead in here that it was you," you said.

"And I'm telling him that you don't want him to come on vacation because he wakes you up early."

"He knows that! It's common knowledge!"

Will rolled his eyes. "Hurry up and get ready or do whatever you need to do so that we can go get some breakfast downstairs before all the good stuff's gone."

"Can we get coffee somewhere later? I looked up some coffee shops near here."

"Let's just get breakfast first and then we'll go from there."

***

The morning was spent looking at possible apartments, going to a bookshop that doubled as a coffeeshop (and buying a new book of course), and then going out for Mexican food for an early lunch (which had the best salsa you had ever tasted).

Then, you went back to the hotel and got ready to go to the pool.

"You can go down without me," Will said.

"You're not coming?" you asked.

"I gotta make a phone call. Work stuff," Will lied.

"Okay, see you down there," you said and grabbed a room key, and left to go to the pool.

Two minutes later, when Will was positive you were at least off the floor you were staying in, if not out to the pool by now, he pulled out his phone and dialed Jay's number.

"Everything okay?" Jay asked the minute he picked up.

"Yes, everything's okay."

"Well, if you're only calling me to brag about the chips and salsa you got, then it's in your best interest to hang up now." You had been sending pictures to the group chat between you, your brothers, and Hailey, and needless to say, Jay was jealous.

"Okay, fine," Will relented. "Everything's not okay. I don't know if I want Y/N staying here."

Now, Will had Jay's full attention. "Bad neighborhoods? What's it like? I can try and look into stuff for you, but I don't have jurisdiction there, so it might be hard to do."

"Dude, it's like Chicago, but it changes a bit faster here. You have wealthy people on one side of the street and then poverty on the other. The building her school is in is just down the street from a homeless encampment. And, she's a girl living by herself. I dunno about her living her, man."

"Well, all the schools she's applied to are in big cities, so she's gonna get that anywhere."

"I know, I know. It's just, the shit we see every day..."

"I get it," Jay agreed. "How did she react to the apartments? And the school?"

"Well, her face dropped when we saw the school. It was like in an industrial area and it's just a building. And, the apartments, the one she likes and the one she said would probably be safest would run her like $1800 a month just for the apartment, not including utilities, groceries, etc."

Jay whistled on the other end. "Shit. But, it's like that everywhere."

"I know. If she goes here, you're gonna need to fly out here and look at apartments with her because you might be able to figure some more stuff out."

"Yeah, if she gets in me and her will take some time to look at apartments out there. Maybe bring Hailey, too."

"Okay, good. And, I'm willing to pay a little bit of her rent if it means she'll be safe."

"Me too," Jay agreed. Then, he remembered something. "Hey, I think one of my old army buddies does construction for apartments out there. I'll see if he can give you some places to check out that he thinks are safer and text you if he tells me anything."

"That would be great, Jay. How's the training going?"

"Let's not talk about that when me and Hailey are on our lunch break, okay? It's a pain in the ass but I have to do it."

"Alright then. I'll let you wallow in your own pity while me and Y/N go chill at the pool. Bye, Jay."

"You're an ass," Jay laughed. "But have a good night. I'll text Y/N tomorrow before her interview and I'll talk to you guys tomorrow. I want to know how it goes." Will heard someone's voice on the other line, he assumed it was Hailey. "And Hailey wants to know how it goes, too." (Will was right.)

"I'll make sure to tell her. Have a good night you two."

Then, Will ended the call and changed, and headed down to the pool where you were soaking up the sun while reading a book on your iPad.

"Hey," Will said after he sat down next to you. "I talked to Jay. He's got an old army buddy that does apartment work around here. He's gonna talk to him and see if he can give us some apartments to look at."

"Okay, good," you said and then paused your reading timer. For the first ten minutes you were down here, you had began making a pros and cons list on your iPad. "Kansas City's looking pretty good after looking at rent prices and the cost of living over here."

"So, you're leaning towards Kansas City then?" Will asked. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't surprised. SAU had been your first choice since you had gotten the email saying that they wanted you to come for an interview.

You passed him your iPad. "You can look at my pros and cons list."

He took a minute to read it and then handed it back to you. "Kansas City has a study abroad program? You never told me that."

"Because I don't know if I'll be going or not. They have a campus in Spain and they saw that I minored in Spanish, so they said that if that's something I want to do, that it's an option. And, I had to miss my study abroad because of covid. It all depends on if I feel comfortable taking all my classes in Spanish though and how it will work out with my classes and my practicum schedule."

"That's great, Y/N! If you go to Kansas City, you should definitely look into it. And, I'm sure some of the students speak English and would be more than willing to help you if you needed it. The profs probably speak English too."

"I know. It's just, learning about the brain and psychology in my second language after not having learned much in undergrad even though I have my minor in it, is a little scary."

"Then you don't have to go. But, you have the option at least if you go to Kansas City. And, Kansas City doesn't have assistantships?" Will asked.

Assistantships are where a student does some kind of work for the university and, depending on how many hours you work, half or all of your tuition is paid for by the university and they'll give you a living stipend.

"No. But, SAU does. I just don't know if the assistantships are for the campus I'm going to or the main campus. It's more expensive here and if I don't get an assistantship, I don't know how I'm gonna be able to afford rent," you told him.

"What's the tuition cost for the programs?" Will asked.

"About the same," you answered.

"So, Kansas City: Spain, no assistantships, lower cost of living. And SAU: no Spain, possible assistantships, higher cost of living?" Will asked.

"Yeah," you answered. "Them having assistantships at that campus is gonna play a big part in if I go to school here or not."

"Let's just focus on the interview for now and make sure to ask them about that tomorrow. You got into one school for sure. Just focus on what you can control tomorrow and then decide. Okay?"

"Okay," you answered.

"I know it's hard to do right now, but just relax. Everything will work itself out eventually."

***

Tuesday, day of SAU interview

"You're gonna do great," Will reassured as you bobbed your leg up and down on the twenty-minute car ride from the hotel to SAU's south campus.

You went to open your coffee that Will bought you downstairs before you left (you weren't drinking nasty brewed coffee from the hotel and you cited the fact that you wouldn't have time to get coffee before the interview as the reason why you needed some now. Plus, you weren't going into arguably the most important interview of your entire life without caffeine in your system.) but you had to close your eyes and take a few deep breaths before you could actually open it because your hands were shaking.

"I don't know about that," you said after taking a sip of your coffee. "I could barely open my coffee."

"We practiced last night and you got all the answers right. You'll do just fine, Y/N. Did you and your social worker come up with strategies for this?"

"Mhm."

You and Marsha had talked about how to manage your nerves during your two interviews at your previous in-person session. Your plan was to remember that you had rehearsed these answers so much that you knew these answers. And to imagine yourself answering them at your desk at home with a candle and a cup of coffee in front of you like how you had actually practiced at home. Plus, the image was of a calming environment, so it might help slow your breathing and heart rate down. And, hey, you already got into one school, so why wouldn't you be able to get into this one?

"I just don't know what to expect in the group interview."

"Just be yourself while being professional. You'll be fine."

Your phone buzzed.

Jay.

You got this! You're gonna kill that interview!

Then another text came in.

Hailey.

Good luck, Y/N! You'll do great! Think positive thoughts (easier said than done, I know, haha). Love you!

You responded to each of them with a thank you and with Jay's, you added a smiley face emoji to the end, and to Hailey's, you added a heart to the end.

Fifteen minutes later, you pulled into the parking lot.

"Take a couple deep breaths," Will told you. You closed your eyes and did as he said. Then, you opened them and nodded. He squeezed your shoulder. "You practiced. Just remember that. Good luck."

And then, you stepped out of the car, grabbed your bag and your coffee, and walked into the place you hoped you'd be going to school at for the next five years.

***

Two hours later, 10:00 am

The group interview went fine. It felt just like a conversation more or less...which kind of made you nervous. Wasn't it supposed to feel like an interview? It was just sort of weird in your opinion. You basically just talked about how fucked the US mental health/foster care/social services system was and how each of you wanted to change that.

But now it was time for the part where you knew what to expect, and this part arguably had more riding it than the group interview: the individual interview.

You were interviewing with someone named Dr. Haldon.

She led you to her office and you sat down. She first asked you how you were doing and you said good, a little nervous, but good.

Then, she jumped right in.

"Your statement of purpose was a little confusing to tell you the truth," she said.

You furrowed your eyebrows. Your statement of purpose seemed pretty clear-cut and easily digestible to you. "It was?"

"Yes. You talked a lot about sports psychology, but why you want to go into neuropsychology and how you want to do more with the mental health side of things, but that you want more precision. So, explain that."

"Which part?" you asked. "The sports psych, neuropsych, mental health, or precision part?"

You swore she could hear your heart beating out of your chest.

"The precision part."

So, you went into it. You explained how you wanted to be a sports psychologist because you loved hockey and always wanted to do something with sports, but that you were also passionate about mental health. So, when you found sports psych, you thought it would be perfect for you.

But, then you took a class in sports psych and realized it was more behavior-based. Plus, it wasn't as precise as neuropsych where you'd be analyzing test results based on previous data and sometimes looking at brain scans.

You also explained how when you were little, you saw your brother becoming a doctor and, being the impressionable little girl you were, you wanted to be a doctor, too. But, then you realized you were scared of blood and weren't super good at hard sciences like chemistry.

So, when you found neuropsych after not wanting to go into sports psych, you knew this was what you wanted to do because it sort of married the two: you'd get to work in the psych field with more precision than sports psych and you'd get to work in a hospital and be on a treatment team without going to med school.

(This was all mentioned in your statement of purpose--minus the med school part--so you really didn't understand why she wanted you to repeat it all.)

"Define what you mean by precision," Dr. Haldon requested.

"Um, neuropsychologists get to look at brain scans and those are more precise than some psychological testing."

"Neuropsychologists don't look at brain scans," she told you.

"They don't? When I researched them, they did. I didn't get to take a neuropsych class though because the class was full when I decided I wanted to switch specialties."

"Well, they don't. That's the neurologist's job. And, sports psychologists get to work with mental health. Are you sure what you took was a sports psychology class?"

"Yes," you answered. It was a full-year class, not just one semester, so you knew the ins and outs of this class that you had taken your senior year of undergrad.

"Well, sports psychologists do still get to work with the mental health of the athlete."

"Oh. I was taught that they had to refer out since it would be a conflict of interest."

"No. I have my post-doc in sports psych, which is why I wanted to interview you."

There it is. That's why you weren't being interviewed by the faculty you said you wanted to work with in your statement of purpose. It was because she wanted to groom you into a sports psychologist...which made half as much as a neuropsychologist, but had the same of amount schooling required.

You just nodded.

"I think you close doors before you even open them all the way."

You just took a deep breath.

Then, she started asking you some questions, most of which you had not prepared for.

"Sorry," you started in response to one of the questions. "I'm thinking. I'm just nervous."

Without missing a beat, she asked, "So, how's your anxiety?"

You stared at her. "What?"

"Well, you've mentioned you were nervous several times."

Twice. You had mentioned your nerves twice. And, any sane person would be nervous during an interview!

You didn't know what to say, so you just blurted the truth out.

"I'm going to therapy," you answered.

"I see. So how is that going?"

You should have told her that your medical/mental health history was none of her damn business, but you wanted to go to this school, so you answered the question. At least, you thought you wanted to go to this school.

"It's going well. Helps a lot," you answered. Now you decided to take charge because, after the conversation you had with Will by the pool last night, you knew that your decision to go here would be riding on whether or not you could get an assistantship at this campus. "Do you have any assistantships available?"

"Oh, yes, I was going to ask you about that as well. We don't have assistantships available. I don't know where you found that information."

You furrowed your eyebrows. "But, on SAU's website, it said that there were assistantships available. Is that only for the main campus?"

"Yes, there are no assistantships for this campus, unfortunately."

"Oh."

There was a pause as if Dr. Haldon were waiting for you to comment further. When you didn't, she posed the question, "So, explain to me why you chose the PsyD route instead of the Ph.D. route."

"Well," you began. Did you tell her that you initially applied for PhDs and PsyDs were just the backup because you didn't get into any PhD programs?

Fuck it. She already knew you had anxiety, it couldn't really get that much worse.

"I applied to PhDs first because they're fully funded. But, since I didn't get into any of those, I applied for PsyDs. And, I like the clinical aspect more than the research aspect, so there's that," you answered.

"You were going to do research even though you don't like it? A Ph.D. is five years, that's a long time to do research if you don't like it. Why?"

"Because they're fully funded," you said quieter than you had answered all of her other questions but still loud enough that she could hear you.

"So you were going to do something you didn't like for that long because the program is fully funded?" You nodded. "I see."

You went through the rest of the questions she had been prepared to ask you and you asked her if she had any recommendations on where to live around here or where current students live, in case you got into the program.

But, during all of this, all you felt was defeat. Even if Dr. Haldon's behavior was making you want to go to Southern Arizona University even less, well you had just bombed your interview; even if you still wanted to go, there was no way they still wanted you.

***

"How'd it go?" Will asked with a smile when you got in the car.

You closed the door and scoffed and shook your head. "Shitty."

"What?" he quickly moved the car into a parking spot so that you two could talk. "Why?"

"I didn't even get to interview with the faculty I wanted to interview with! And the lady who interviewed me was bitch! She questioned my abilities and made it seem like I was supposed to know everything and- and- ugh!"

You blinked your eyes rapidly and fanned them so that you didn't cry and then have to wipe your face and smudge your mascara and foundation everywhere.

"Okay, calm down. Take a deep breath. What happened exactly?"

And so, you relayed the story of your individual interview with him.

"First off, she was wrong to question if you had anxiety or not. That was unprofessional. And secondly, if you knew everything, you wouldn't be here; you'd already be a neuropsychologist. She can't expect you to know everything. That's why you're going to school."

"Yeah, I guess," you agreed.

"And, at least you interviewed here. That way you saw this now instead of seeing it when you got in after deciding to come here. Remember, you're interviewing them as much as they're interviewing you."

You sniffled. "Thanks, Will. Sorry, I made you take time off work to just come down here and for me not to get into this school."

"Hey, no. It was a nice little vacation from the cold. And, you might still get in."

"Yeah, but I'm leaning towards Kansas City now even if I do get in."

"Okay. Wherever you want to go. It's your decision. I know you wanted somewhere warm, Y/N. But Kansas City might be the place for you."

"Yeah," you agreed quietly.

"I drove around and looked at some possible apartments for you, but now I think we should just go get some ice cream. What do you think?"

"I think that sounds like a great idea."

And then, instead of ice cream, you got the gooiest chocolate chip cookie of your life topped with caramel. It didn't fix everything, but it sure made it better.

And, when you called Jay in the car to explain to him everything that happened at your interview, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't a little relieved that you probably wouldn't be moving 25 hours away from him.

***

A month and a half later, early May

It was finally time for you to go to Kansas City to look at the school you would be attending and start apartment hunting. You had been apartment hunting as much as possible online, but it was really hard to know an area and know if you liked an apartment by looking online. So, you and Jay were driving down, and then Will was flying down after his shift later tonight so that he'd be with you to visit the school during the interview later morning tomorrow. (You figured he was the best bet to bring since he knew more of this stuff than Jay. And, you weren't gonna bring both brothers. You were in graduate school, not undergrad; bringing both of them would be overkill.)

You were a little over four hours into your drive and the sky had started to darken about half an hour ago. Since you were currently the passenger and Jay was driving (you planned on switching drivers when you got into Kansas City so that you could practice driving there with someone else in the car), he had you check the forecast to see when it was going to rain.

Your phone had told you in about two hours, and you hoped to be close to Kansas City by then.

And then, yours and Jay's phones went off at the same time, almost giving you a heart attack. You looked at the alert.

"There's a tornado warning near us," you told Jay.

"A watch or a warning?" he asked.

"Warning."

He cursed under his breath. "Hopefully we'll miss it. Keep an eye out for funnel clouds. How far away are we from where it was spotted?"

You went on your phone to start looking for more information, and not even two minutes later, it started hailing.

You grabbed your sweatshirt from the backseat so that in case the hail shattered your windshield, you'd have something to put over your face to protect your eyes.

The area beneath the overpasses quickly started to become full of cars and semis that were finding a place to hunker down for the time being. Jay reached down flip something and then cursed when he realized what he was looking for wasn't there.

"And, it's in your car. Great," he said.

"Why? You want a new truck if we were driving yours and the windshield breaks?" you asked as you continued to scroll through your phone for more information.

"No," he answered. "I could put on my lights and sirens and probably find us a police station to camp out at. And, I'd be able to listen to important stuff like where an accident is, from my scanner. And, my windshield and windows are bulletproof. The hail's small enough now that it shouldn't break your windshield, though."

You nodded. "And, that bulletproof glass isn't going to help much if we drive into a tornado."

"That is true," he agreed. "Can you text Will and Hailey and let them know what's going on?"

You did so and immediately got responses from both Will and Hailey.

Hailey: WHATTT???

Will: Go find somewhere to post-up.

You responded to the group, even though you were mainly responding to Will's question, by telling them that you were trying to find something to take cover underneath, but that the areas underneath the overpasses were all full, so you were gonna keep driving.

Then, Will and Hailey replied with some form of stay safe and Will told you to keep them updated. Hailey also said to tell Jay that she loved him.

"Hailey says she loves you," you told Jay.

Jay laughed. "This is arguably safer than us getting shot at every day. But tell her I love her, too. You can tell her the getting shot at thing, too, if you want."

"She'll probably send a middle finger emoji if I tell her that."

"Yeah, probably."

You texted and told Hailey that Jay said he loves her, too and Will responded asking if he's chopped liver. So, you told him that you and Jay loved him too, but that you should both be fine and that you'd stop driving once you found a place to hunker down at.

After driving for ten more minutes, the hail was coming down so hard that you and Jay could barely see, so he took the first exit he saw.

"Look for places with empty spots," he told you, referring to places with awnings over them so that you'd be covered.

You looked and there was a bank...full. A church with a small awning...full.

Then, Jay spotted a self-service car wash and did what was probably an illegal U-turn to turn into the parking lot.

There were three stalls and the last one on the right was empty. You both thanked your lucky stars and pulled inside.

Jay breathed a sigh of relief as he put the car in park. "Tell Will we're safe."

Then a thought came to mind. "You think Will's gonna be able to fly out tonight?"

Jay looked at the clock. It was almost 3 pm and Will's flight didn't leave until 11 pm. "His flight doesn't leave for another eight hours, so hopefully. If not, I'll just go tour the school with you."

"Okay."

"It's always an adventure with you, isn't it?"

You laughed and shook your head. "And we're not even to Kansas City yet."

After hunkering down for a bit, the hail had let up and you got back on the highway and continued driving. As it turns out, you had been driving the way the tornado was heading. Hail started up once more, but only kept up for five minutes. And, twenty minutes later, there were blue skies on the horizon.

You took a picture and texted it to Will and Hailey telling them you were safe and driving again and told Will to let you know if his flight got delayed or canceled.

***

The next day, Monday

The rest of the night went fine and Will's flight left as scheduled and you and Jay picked him up from the airport and then went for some late-night ice cream. The three of you got breakfast at the hotel and you bought a bottled latte from the market area—Jay and Will thought bitter and acidic hotel coffee tasted fine; you did not.-- Then, the three of you went back upstairs to your room and you and Will proceeded to get ready for the day while Jay got back into bed and proceeded to drink his coffee, call Hailey (who was on her into work), and watch highlights of last night's NHL playoff games.

You and Will went to Kansas City Health College and University and right off the bat, you already got better vibes than those at SAU. Everyone was friendlier, maybe that was just a Midwest thing, but either way, you'd take it.

You toured the school (well, it was more like a building) and you liked it better than SAU as well. They were all about their students here and it was obvious they cared about them and their success. There was a student area complete with a fridge where you could store your lunches for the day and a microwave to use, as well as some comfy chairs and a couch for students to study on and relax. There was a little bar area where students could eat or study. And, there were even two gaming consoles in front of a flat-screen tv, a foosball table, and a ping-pong table for students to use so that they can chill out and hang out with friends. The lady who was giving you a tour even said that last week, they even had a staff vs students ping-pong tournament.

Then, you went and looked at some of the classrooms along with the lab, which you would be using for your neuroanatomy lab and she went over some of the other things the school offered, such as counseling services.

Then, she gave you time to ask any questions you might have for her, you met with the program director and asked her program specific-questions, such as scheduling and the like, and then you met with the dean of students who just wanted to introduce herself and let her know that you could come to her with any concerns you might have.

The entire tour and meetings/question and answer sessions only lasted about two hours, but one thing was for sure: you had found the school for you.

(And, once you were completely finished, Will took a picture of you outside the school that you planned to post on your Instagram tonight.)

***

"How'd it go?" Jay asked when you and Will walked back into the hotel room. This time, Jay's hair was wet and you assumed he had gone to the gym and then taken a shower while you had been gone because you'd now been gone from the hotel for a total of three hours, and despite relaxing when you had left, you knew Jay couldn't sit still for three hours watching random sports highlights or shitty, unrealistic reality tv.

"She loves it," Will said before you could even answer the question.

"Really? Better than SAU, then?"

"Way better. They really care about their students." You then recapped everything you learned, including the student lounge area, how small the cohorts were, etc.

"I'm glad you like it. Ready to go look at apartments?"

That was what was next on your agenda, apartment hunting. You had used up the rest of your sick to take some time off in June to come back if you still needed to find an apartment, but you really didn't want to come back and look again if you didn't have to. You'd prefer to use that time to do things you needed to get done before moving such as going to the eye doctor to see if you needed new glasses and going to the dentist. And, not needing to use that time to come back down here to look at apartments meant that you could use those days for job interviews as well. That was another thing you needed to do after apartment hunting: job hunting.

"Just let me change first. I am not wearing dress pants to look at apartments. And, I'm putting my hair up," you told Jay.

After quickly changing into something more comfortable and putting your hair up, Will changed his clothes as well and the three of you went out to the car to start apartment hunting.

***

You had been looking at apartments online in a historic district called Regent's Circle. It looked very pretty in the photos, but they couldn't really do it justice. Once you parked and walked around, you knew this was where you wanted to live.

Since it was a historic district, it had old townhouses and cobblestone sidewalks, as well as a little coffee shop that Jay said you could go to after you looked at some apartments, a park right in the center of the area, and even a community garden.

It made you think of all the vintage cities you saw in photos and, since your grad school didn't have that old-timely Harvard/Yale feel, at least the place you were living would...if you could find an apartment here, that is.

You had three apartments you wanted to check out that you had found online, but if you found ones while walking around, you'd look at those as well.

The first one you looked at was nice, but it was really dimly lit and dark inside, which you didn't really like. You'd live there if that was the only thing available, but you didn't want to. (At least it was a loft and had exposed brick like you wanted. But, you had filtered for lofts. You wanted something like Kelly and Stella's apartment, but on a smaller scale...and something that you could afford.)

The second one you looked at, you absolutely fell in love with.

It was more expensive than the previous one, but it had a pool. And, something Jay liked was that the parking lot was gated and you needed a code to get in and you'd be on the second floor.

It was a one-bedroom and was a loft style, of course, so it was very open. There was a long marble island, so you wouldn't even need to buy a table, just a set of barstools. The main wall in the living/kitchen that faced the back of the building—as well as the dog park, so you could see cute puppies while watching tv—, was all exposed brick with some windows on it. There were also beams exposed in the ceiling.

The bathroom sink was separate from the shower/tub and the toilet, meaning someone could do their makeup while someone else was going to the bathroom if needed. But, this wasn't your favorite part about the bathroom. No, your favorite part was that it was a wide, circular bathtub/shower, a soaking tub if you will, which would come in handy for taking warm, relaxing baths after long days of classes, studying, and practicums.

And, something that Jay pointed out, the floor was concrete, so you didn't have to worry about spilling something on the carpet and staining it and getting charged for it. (You assumed Jay was speaking from experience during his bachelor pad days, but when you asked him, he said he was pleading the fifth.)

The apartment definitely gave you Stella and Kelly vibes and it was in a safe area.

Then, you finished the tour by looking at the fitness center and then gave the manager who had helped you your email address and phone number and he gave you a few pieces of paper with information as well as his business card.

"That's the one I want," you told Jay and Will when you were sitting outside at the little coffee shop a quarter mile away from the apartment you had just toured drinking a latte and eating a danish.

"It's a bit pricey," Jay pointed out.

"They're all like that if she wants it in a safe area," Will said.

"Would you rather have me be safe and live in a bit more expensive apartment? Or not be safe and live in a cheap apartment? Plus, there's an in-unit washer and dryer, which you know is a deal-breaker for me."

All the way back when you were in Arizona, you had told Will that having an in-unit washer and dryer was one of your non-negotiables for your apartment. You knew that being a busy grad student, you wouldn't have all day to spend at a laundromat or in a community laundry area in your apartment, so you needed an in-unit washer and dryer.

"She's got a point, Jay," Will agreed. "And, she's got some savings to pull from if she can't find a job right away."

"And it's five minutes away from school and I don't need to drive on the highway. I'm saving money in gas and time without all the traffic."

"And here I thought Will was the boujee sibling," Jay said, causing Will to roll his eyes.

You smiled. "I'll take that as your seal of approval."

And three days later, when you were back at work and had downtime during your shift, you applied for the apartment.

***

Two and a half months later, mid-July

Everything was in place. You secured the apartment you wanted in Regent's Circle in Kansas City, you had gotten an online tutoring job that was flexible where you could work from home, so you could work around your school and practicum schedules, and you were mostly packed up. (And you had gotten into SAU even after bombing the interview, but decided not to go because they—especially Dr. Haldon—absolutely did not pass the vibe check...and they got back to you two months later instead of two weeks like they had originally told you.) Your favorite coworkers had even thrown you a little surprise goodbye party complete with mini cupcakes and a few gifts, which included a card, two energy drinks, and a Starbucks gift card.

And now, you were leaving in two days, which was why you were very confused when Jay had made you stop doing laundry and packing up last-minute things and told you to get ready because you were going somewhere.

"Hailey, help me out here," you began, "where are we going?"

"Can't tell you that," she told you.

"Okay...how do I need to dress then?"

"Casual," she answered. "With a little bit of makeup."

You nodded. "Still didn't give me any hints. Rude."

And then you walked into your room to change and do your makeup with Jay and Hailey laughing in the background.

***

"Molly's? Really?" You asked when Jay parked on the street where Molly's Pub was located. "You couldn't have just told me that?"

"I'm just picking something up from Kelly," Jay answered. "And, I thought you might want to see Stella one more time before you leave and she's bartending tonight."

The three of you got out of Jay's truck—Hailey citing the fact that who knows how long Jay and Kelly would talk as her reasoning for not staying in the truck—and then walked into Molly's.

"Surprise!" was what you heard when you walked in.

You looked around with wide eyes to see a banner that said Farewell Y/N! and everyone from Intelligence, 51, and everyone you knew at Med. Even Voight was here and from snippets of conversation you had heard here and there, he was one step above being legally barred from entering Molly's.

You put your hand over your mouth as tears came to your eyes. "You guys."

"You didn't think we'd send you off without a party, did you?" Kelly asked.

"I wasn't expecting one, no."

Then Stella walked up to you. "Well, you got one. And all your drinks are on the house tonight." She handed you a drink. "Starting with this cherry vodka sour."

Stella knew that was your favorite.

A few minutes later, after everything had died down a bit, Voight came up to you while you were talking to Stella and Kelly at the bar.

"Congrats, kid," he said.

"Thank you," you replied.

"You've always been sort of like a daughter to me and to everyone in Intelligence for that matter, so I'm gonna keep it short." He handed you an envelope. A fat envelope at that. "For rent. And, there's the numbers of a sergeant and a couple of officers I know down there in case you run into any trouble."

"I can't accept this. It's too much." You hadn't even opened it, but by the thickness of the envelope, you knew it contained a lot of money.

"You can and you will. Justin never really used his college fund, and I wanted it to go to something worthwhile."

(This was in fact, a lie. This was money from Voight being Voight, but you didn't need to know that. And more importantly, Jay didn't need to know that...even though, after you counted out the bills, Jay would have his suspicions.)

You nodded. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Stay out of trouble."

And then, he gave you a hug and left the bar because even though he was legally allowed to enter, he knew he still would never be accepted there. And, the less time he spent there, the better.

***

After talking and laughing with everyone for about an hour, Hermann yelled to be heard over the noise.

"Okay, everyone! Listen up!" The room quieted. "It's time to give Y/N her presents."

Then, Ritter came out one of the employees-only doors, pushing a food service cart containing multiple gift bags and boxes wrapped in colorful wrapping paper.

You were just about to say something when the door opened and you whirled your head around.

You jumped off your barstool and ran up to him.

"Casey!"

He pulled you into a hug. "You didn't think I'd miss my favorite kid's going away party, did you?"

"I thought you were in Oregon!"

"Just in time," Will said.

Then, you looked between your two brothers and at all of the firefighters in the bar. They didn't look surprised to see Casey at all.

"You knew about this?"

Jay laughed. "Who do you think told him?"

"Enough with the logistics," Casey yelled. "Get this kid a drink! On me!"

"Her drinks are already free tonight!" Kelly yelled. "Which you would've known if you got here on time."

"Nice to see you, too, Severide," Casey shot back.

There were a couple of chuckles heard throughout the bar and then Hermann spoke up again.

"Open the gifts so we can get this cart out of here, will you?"

You laughed and shook your head and then opened your gifts, thanking every single person as you went.

51 got you a fire extinguisher and a Slamigan, which Kelly explained was less about opening doors and more for whacking someone over the head if they tried to break into your apartment. All the doctors and nurses got together and made you the best first aid kit you had ever seen, complete with more stuff than even Jay had in the first aid kit at home and you thought his was the best at-home first aid kit around. And, Intelligence got you a master lock for your door just for some added security. Also, Kevin and Adam got you a Taser. (They had to specify that it was just from them because Jay vetoed it for the joint gift, so they got it for you themselves.) And, Gallo, Ritter, and Violet gave you a case of their lightest IPA and a 12-pack of grapefruit seltzer so that you Jay, Hailey, and Will would have something to drink while working on moving you into your apartment.

Then, they did something that was even more unexpected than giving you all these gifts: they started chanting speech.

"Here, take this," Stella handed you a shot of what you assumed was vodka. "Liquid courage."

You took it and then took a deep breath.

"I wasn't really prepared to give a speech—I wasn't prepared for any of this since it was a surprise—so it might not be the greatest," you began. You looked around the room at everyone who had come out to celebrate you tonight, of all people. "Thank you all for coming, it really means a lot. Stella, thank you for making my hair beautiful for all my dances senior year. Sylvie, thank you for helping me with my biology homework when Will was busy at work so he couldn't help me. Thank you to all of 51 for making me laugh when I had to spend days there when I was younger when Will and Jay were busy and couldn't stay with me. Kelly and Matt, thank you for teaching me how to use a fire extinguisher and how to change the batteries in a smoke detector.

"Everyone at Med, thank you for putting up with me when I went to Med to find Will even if I was pulling you away from your jobs. I'm also sorry about that." That got a couple of laughs from some people. "Hannah, thank you for all your help earlier this year. I would've been even more of a mess if it weren't for your help.

"Trudy, thank you for putting up with me when I'd run into the district looking for Jay and for always giving me money to go get a snack and a pop from the vending machines. Kim, thank you for helping me with my Spanish. Kevin, thank you for taking me for my very first ride in a cop car when you were on patrol and Kim was pulled up to Intelligence for the day. Sorry, Trudy." She glared at Kevin, but then laughed, so you knew it wasn't that serious. "Adam, thank you for teaching me how to pick locks because Jay told me that he'd never teach me that."

Now, you turned to face Hailey and your brothers and the tears started to fall.

"Hailey, thank you for coming into my brother's life and for loving him and during that time, for loving me as well. Thank you for becoming the closest thing to a mom that I've ever had."

Hailey put her hand over her mouth and blinked rapidly to hold back her tears, but then just gave up and let a few of them slide down her cheeks.

"And to Will and Jay, God I can't even put into words how much you two mean to me. You became like father figures to me. Your both have put your careers on the line whether that be to pick me up from school on time, or to leave a shift to come to one of my academic awards ceremonies. Thank you. And thank you for putting up with me for these past six months and for being there and helping me through this process. I couldn't have done it without you both."

By the end of your speech, there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

And, despite saying that you didn't really think you'd miss Chicago and would relish living on your own, by the end of the night, you knew that in two days, you'd feel pangs of homesickness when you drove away from all these people who had become like a family to you over the years.

***

4 days later

You looked around your apartment at all the hard work you, Jay, Will, and Hailey had put in during these past two days. The four of you had hauled ass the past two days to get you completely moved in by Sunday night so that Will, Jay, and Hailey could leave and be home at a decent time in the morning so that Will could make it to his 3 pm-3 am shift on time.

"We should probably get going," Will stated. He had said that an hour ago, but there had been a silent agreement between the four of you to prolong your brothers' and sister-in-law's stay as long as possible. Even though you said you were more excited than nervous, it didn't mean that you wouldn't miss them.

You were not going to cry because you knew if you started crying, you'd want to jump in Jay's truck and go home with them, and you knew you couldn't do that.

"One last picture," Hailey said and pulled out her phone, and handed it to Will, who was the tallest of the four of you.

You all crowded together while Will held Hailey's phone and took a selfie.

Now, it was time for goodbye.

Hailey was up first.

"I'm gonna miss you," she told you.

Tears sprang to your eyes. "I'm gonna miss you, too. Make sure Jay doesn't get shot, okay?"

"I'll do my best. You know he's a bullet magnet."

"Unfortunately."

Then, you gave her a big hug. She knew how much she meant to you and vice versa, so there wasn't a need for a long, drawn-out goodbye between you two.

Next up, was Will.

He pulled you into a hug and told you he'd love and miss you and then pulled away and put his hands on your shoulders.

"You call me if you need anything, okay? And I mean anything."

All you could do was nod because you knew if you said anything, you'd just start crying.

Last but certainly not least, was Jay.

He gave you a bone-crushing hug, during which you tried not to sob.

But, when he pulled away and you saw him trying his best to hold back tears, that's when the waterworks started.

"I'm gonna miss you, so much!"

Jay hugged you again. "And I'm gonna miss you, too. But I am so, so proud of you."

You nodded and wiped your tears. "I love you, Jay Jay."

"Love you, too, kiddo."

Jay took a deep breath to steady himself. "We need to go, but if you need anything at all, I'm only eight hours away, about five or six with lights and sirens."

"I know. Voight might kick your ass for using them all the way to Kansas City, though."

"That would probably be Platt, which is arguably scarier."

Then, you walked the three of them to your door and watched them leave.

Hailey sent you the picture and you posted some highlights of these two days including another picture in front of your school of the four of you that you had a passerby take and some funny videos you took while moving in, one of which was Jay and Will arguing over how to build a couch because Jay refused to read the directions.

Then, you posted all of these on your Instagram with the caption Onto the next adventure.

Jay and Hailey both reposted the post on their Instagram stories with Jay captioning it Not a dad, but I think this is what being a proud dad feels like with a heart emoji at the end, and Will posted the picture of the four of you in front of your school on his account with the caption Soon, there will be two Dr. Halsteads.

And, little did you know, Jay, Will, and Hailey did not have to be back tomorrow because Will had to work. That was a lie. They were getting a hotel room to make sure everything went okay on your first night alone in your apartment.

Because even though you were living on your own and would be a state away, they would do anything to help you succeed, whether that be helping you with applications, going with you to an ultrasound, or telling you a white lie so that they could make sure you were okay.

You wouldn't trade them for the world.

And, Jay had been right: you got this.

A/N: If you made it this far, congratulations! You finished my longest imagine ever! If you liked it, don't forget to reblog/like and comment because I love hearing what you guys think! As always, if you want to be added to my taglist, just tell me and I’ll add you!

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @911ls-tarlos @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things @herecomesthewriterwitch @liampayne88 @glitterquadricorn @luvreading67 @smoothdogsgirl @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff@actlikesummerr @lcothr523 @star-wars-lover​

#imagine #fanfic #fanfiction #chicago pd #chicago med #chicago pd imagine #chicago med imagine #chicago pd fanfiction #chicago med fanfiction #chicago pd fanfic #chicago med fanfic #jay halstead #will halstead #halstead sister #hailey upton #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead fanfic #jay halstead fanfiction #will halstead imagine #will halstead fanfic #will halstead fanfiction #halstead sister imagine #writer #writing #my writing

[deanstead]

Reinforcements

Pairing: Will Halstead x HalsteadSister!Reader x Jay Halstead

Requested: yes, by anon

Summary: Y/N gets jumped on the way to meet her brothers. After her brothers arrive to help and take her home, she shuts them out and Jay has to call in reinforcements.

Characters: Jay Halstead, Will Halstead, Hailey Upton

Word Count: 1,604

Warnings: attempted sexual assault, language

A/N: This is primarily a Halstead!Sister fic, so I left things between Upstead kind of vague cos er I don’t really write for them lol. But I thought this was a good idea for a oneshot so I ended up writing it anyway. This is also the last of the old requests!

HALSTEAD!SISTER MASTERLIST

You glanced at your watch. You were already late so Jay was going to nag and you really couldn’t handle that today. What you really needed was a drink. Which was why you were glad that at least you’d agreed to meet your brothers at Molly’s.

As you spotted the lights of Molly’s, right on cue, your screen lit up with Jay’s name flashing across it. You rolled your eyes just as you answered the call.

“Yeah, I’m like five minutes away. Maybe three if you hang up. Can you just…”

You didn’t manage to finish your sentence as you felt someone grab you from behind. You gave a yelp of surprise as you your phone clattered down against the concrete pavement. You weren’t sure if it had been picked up by your brother on the other end of the line but you could vaguely hear Jay calling your name through the speaker. Whoever had grabbed you didn’t seem to care, Jay’s voice fading as the strong hands pulled you deeper into the adjacent alley.

Whoever this was was strong. Even as you fought with all your might, you felt yourself getting dragged deeper and deeper away from the street. You could smell stale alcohol even though he had a hand clamped over your mouth and nose, his other arm looped around your front.

As he pushed you against the wall of the alley, you saw him for the first time, feeling panic mixed with fear pulsate through your body. His eyes looked glazed over, except for the dangerous look in his eyes as they swept across you.

“Just my type.” He drawled.

Fuck.

You tried calculating your chances of escape if you hit back now but it was difficult even threading together a singular coherent thought as your brain felt just as paralyzed as your limbs. You could hear Jay’s voice from a distant memory, walking you through what you should do when you found yourself in such a situation, as your attacker trailed one hand down your side, the other hand clamped around your throat threateningly.

Now, Y/N. Move, fight, do something.

Your body wasn’t exactly cooperative, but you had to do something, especially now as you felt one of this thumbs hook against the garter of the trousers you’d put on this morning.

No fucking way.

The desperation had overtaken the fear and allowed your limbs to move again. You tried to pull your knee upwards, the way Jay had taught you but he seemed to anticipate your moves, leaning his weight against you now so you could barely twitch your legs. He let out a chuckle that sent a shiver down your spine.

But that wasn’t all Jay had taught you.

You pushed your palm hard into his face, pulling back your other arm and hammering against his wrist that was around your neck. Surprised by the sudden motion, his hand slid off you as he stumbled backwards and you took off.

“You bitch!”

You could feel the tears prickling in your eyes but you couldn’t do this now. Not until you were safe.

“Jay! Will!” You screamed, only hoping they’d already come out to find you, pumping your legs harder as you felt him gain on you.

You tried to step off to the side to avoid him but you were a second too late as he dragged you down onto the concrete ground. You felt the wind knocked out of you for a second before the panic overtook again as he pinned you down onto the ground.

If your brothers didn’t arrive soon, you were screwed.

But your brothers had never disappointed you even once in your entire life.

“Y/N!” Will’s voice, followed closely by Jay’s furious roar.

You felt the pressure lift off you as Jay pulled the guy off you violently, and you heard the obvious sounds of Jay throwing punches.

Your breath felt like it was stuck in your throat as you heard extra voices join the scene but you couldn’t process anything right now. Even Will’s voice sounded like it was coming from far away.

“Y/N. Y/N!” You blinked, realizing your oldest brother was right here, he was here.

“Will…” Your voice shook with the effort it took.

Will nodded back at you, his hands holding your shoulders gently. “Breathe. Breathe.”

You frowned until you realized that you weren’t breathing. It was like your body forgot how to do it automatically and you inhaled now, consciously.

Will exhaled with relief. “You’re okay, alright. I got you.”

The tears now streaked across your cheeks as your body shook and Will pulled you into him protectively, a hand resting gently on your head like he had when you’d had nightmares a long time ago when you could still jump into his bed.

You turned your face into Will, just as you felt someone else touch your shoulder. You almost jumped out of your skin, curling further into Will’s embrace before you heard his voice.

“It’s me.”

You turned your face upwards now. “Jay?”

Jay’s green eyes were still laced with rage, mixed in with worry, and his knuckles were bruised. “Let’s get you out of here, alright?”

You nodded, as Will helped you up and your knees almost buckled before you realized they were shaking.

Jay reached out for your hand and squeezed. “You’re alright.”

“He…”

“Adam is hauling his ass where it belongs.” Jay just answered through clenched teeth.

“Y/N, will you come out, please?” Will pleaded for like the tenth time since you’d gotten home and shut your brothers out, both literally and figuratively.

You’d always loved having two brothers you were close to. The only time you hadn’t was when you needed a girl to talk to. How were you supposed to explain the fear you’d felt in that moment when you knew what he wanted, the disgust you felt as he held onto the garter of your trousers knowing that in a second….

You closed your eyes, trying to wipe the image, the feelings, everything out. You knew you needed to get it out, but you didn’t know how to tell your brothers.

Besides, you were pretty sure if you did tell them, Jay would be out of the house in a second to literally kill someone. And you couldn't let him do that, not to himself.

“Y/N? It’s me, Hailey. Can I come in?”

Your head jerked up in surprise to hear her voice but you managed to find your voice. “Yeah.”

The door cracked open and Hailey moved in towards you, Jay following on her tail.

You gave him a look and Hailey glanced over her shoulder. “Out.”

“I asked you to come and help, I didn’t…”

“So let me help, Jay. Out. No guys in here.” Hailey said, before she threw both the Halstead boys out, shutting the door in her partner’s face.

“Hey.” Hailey called, before she perched herself next to you, still keeping a small distance between the both of you.

You didn’t answer and Hailey didn’t push, just sitting next to you in silence, waiting for you to be ready.

“Jay called you?” You asked quietly after a beat of silence.

Hailey nodded. “Yeah, he was worried.”

“He’s always worried.” You shot back, which made Hailey smile.

You let the silence fall again before you started talking, telling her practically everything that had happened and Hailey reached over for your hand now, squeezing it, not even letting go as you finished recounting the night’s events.

“I just… I shouldn’t have been late. I should have left earlier, I…”

Hailey shook her head. “Y/N, stop right there. You didn’t do anything wrong, alright?”

“And Jay taught me a bunch of stuff in case I got stuck in a situation like this but I just… I just froze. If I had fought harder… I shouldn’t even have let him drag me into the alley in the first place, I should have….”

“Y/N. Look at me.” Hailey said, her voice firm.

You glanced up at her.

“You did nothing wrong. Sometimes when we’re hit with a trauma, when fear takes over…” Hailey paused, clearing her throat before continuing. “Sometimes our bodies just react. It’s instinct. And it’s not your fault.”

You swiped off the tear that traveled down your cheek. “Is Jay disappointed?”

Hailey frowned. “What?”

“He taught me everything. How to get away, what to do and I just…”

Hailey squeezed your hand again. “Right now, Jay is just glad you’re not hurt alright? And from what I heard you fought pretty damn hard. I’m sure Jay’s proud.”

You glanced up and Hailey smiled. “You think you up to seeing them now?”

You nodded, so Hailey reached over to give you a hug, before going to open the door.

“You okay?” Jay asked, the moment he barged in.

You nodded, but then shrugged. “Kind of, but not really. I…”

“You don’t have to tell us anything, you don’t have to say anything. But we’re here.” Jay said, reaching over to envelope you into a hug.

You could even tell the gentle hand that was patting your back was Will’s, even as you closed your eyes against Jay and you nodded.

“Thank you.” You whispered, feeling the safety of being with your brothers overtake the fear that had still been lingering just a moment ago.

Jay glanced back at Hailey, with you still pressed into his side, making you once again feel like that little girl that used to sit on her older brother's shoulders. “Thanks, Hailey.”

Hailey just nodded and smiled as she leaned against the wall, watching the three of you. "Anytime, partner."

You smiled back at Hailey and she gave you a smile. "Anytime." She repeated at you.

THANK YOU FOR READING!! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS!!

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#resa.fics #resanoona request #halstead!sister #jay halstead x sister!reader #will halstead x sister!reader #hailey upton #jay halstead #will halstead #halstead!sister oneshot #halstead!sister imagine #halstead!sister fanfic #jay halstead x reader #will halstead x reader

[saragarnier]

Delivery (Departure pt2)

pairing: Jay halstead x reader

summary: y/n is in labour and jay takesher to the hospital

warnings: none. just fluff (maybe a little bit aìof angst at some point)

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

previous part

When you hoped of Jay’s comeback during his eight months in the Army, you were not expecting that; you wanted to spend some time with your husband, talking about the baby with him, telling him everything that happened during those months while he was away. You wanted to have time for all of that, but you had not.

Jay was driving you to the hospital, hands tightened around the steering wheel, eyes fixed on the road, arms tense. He was so much nervous, and you could feel it from distance, everyone that knew Jay could have felt it too; you wanted to reassure him in some way, but you were to focused in not losing your mind, taking deep breaths, and trying to stay as much calm as possible.

“How are you?” He asked, turning his head towards you when he stopped at one of the red lights; you watched him closely and you tried to smiled at him sincerely; it wasn’t easy though, you started to feel pain because of the labour and all you wanted to do was seeing your doctor.

“I’m goo, Jay… it’s just…” You couldn’t avoid to moan in pain, feeling another contraction; you were just hoping to arrive at the hospital in time since there was so much traffic. “It hurts when the contraction kicks in, but I have endured worse pain after being shot at work, you know.”

Jay nodded and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, watching at the lights to be sure that they were still red; he just wanted to push the accelerator, arriving at the hospital as early as possible. “I wish I have the police lights right now; I could use them to bring you to the hospital in just few minutes.”

You smiled a little and, after taking a deep breath, you took his hand in yours, smiling a little bit and looking at his eyes.

“Jay, don’t worry, okay? Me and the baby are still good, our child just wants to meet his father as soon as he can.” You smiled softly, caressing his hand, and letting it go just when the green lights appeared, letting him drive again towards the hospital.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” He at once asked you, smiling softly and relaxing a bit.

“I don’t know. I didn’t want to discover it without you, so I wait you and here you are. I guess we will find out the baby gender after I gave birth and, well… we still need to find a name for him or for her. What do you think?”

He smiled softly, driving towards the hospital, and thinking about everything that was happening to him; he came home eager to see you again, to hug you and kiss you, to kiss the love of his life. He wanted to tell you that he came back and that he would have stayed with you forever, that he wouldn’t leave you anymore, but he wasn’t expecting that. He didn’t know that he would have become father and, driving you to the hospital, he started to get nervous.

He kept asking himself if he was ready for that, if he would have been a good father.

You notice that something was wrong because you recognise at one the frowning expression he usually had when something was not right. Was he still angry with you? Was he nervous about something?

“What’s going on, Jay?” you asked him, breathing heavily because of the pain of the labour. “Why are you so strange? Are you still mad at me?”

He turned his face towards you after parking in front of the hospital, then he shook his head and he took your hand between his own, smiling softly at you and sighing. “I’m not mad at you. I was angry because I wanted to know it, but right now I’m just worried about you both and I’m nervous. I just wonder if I will be a good father for him, because I really want to.”

You smiled, shaking your head, and leaning forward; you placed a soft kiss on his lips for the first time after all those months and you smiled wider. God, you missed him so much. You would have kiss him for hours and hours if it wasn’t for the baby that was kicking its way out.

“I love you, Jay, and I know for sure that you will be the best father in the world, I already knew that the time I discovered I was pregnant.” You smiled, trying to reassure him somehow. You really wanted him to live the labour in the best way possible, especially since he didn’t have the chance to live the pregnancy as you did. “I never doubted it and I will never do.”

He ran one of his hands through his hair, taking deep breaths and trying to calm down. He needed to be strong for you, he needed to be calm for you; after all you were the one in labour, not him.

“Thank you, babe.” He whispered, nodding slightly, and looking at you with a smile on his lips. He was much calmer after your words, and he was now ready to become a dad. “Let’s go now, I’ll call Will to let him know that you’re pregnant and that you’re in labour.”

You reassured him, exiting the car and thanking him for his help when he got you in his arms, trying to help you walking toward the enter of the hospital. “Will knows that I’m pregnant. I asked him not to tell you because you were in Boliva and because was afraid that you would have done something stupid, that you would have become less focused on your job. He tried to convince me to tell you the truth so many times but, in the end, I always won.”

Jay was angry at the beginning, to discover that also his brother knew about the pregnancy, as well as his friends and everyone in the unit. He was the only one that left in the dark for so many months and he was also the first that should have known about it in the first place. He really wanted to scream, to yell, to let go all of his frustrations, but he didn’t want to do it now; he didn't want to scare you or to make you worried since you were in labour: he needed to stay calm and to be there for you both. It was difficult, he really was, but he did what was the best for his wife and for his future child.

“Okay, don’t worry.” He simply said, sighing. You both finally entered the hospital, and, after that, you were brought up into the obstetrics department of the hospital, were you will have been monitored till the right moment.

You started to become more nervous after every second; you just wanted to take the baby in your arms, to cuddle him and to show him to his father, the man of your life. You hoped and dreamed of that moment for months and, when it came, it wasn’t as you expected. The first visit you made with your doctor showed that there was something wrong. You and Jay immediately understood that when you saw their faces and you started panicking at once.

“What’s happening? Something’s wrong right?”

Jay tried to reassure you, stroking your hair, placing small kisses on your forehead, on your cheeks, trying to make you feeling better, trying to calm you down. The doctor and the nurses started to talk quietly and only after some minutes they talked to you.

“The umbilical cord is wrapped around the baby’s neck.” He said, the exact moment Will entered the room after being told of what was happening. Jay’s heart skipped a beat as soon as he heard the doctor, he looked up and he found Will’s gaze. Before the doctor could have said everything else, you started crying while Jay walked toward his brother.

“Will, tell me that everything is going to be fine.” He immediately asked his brother, not paying attention to the doctor that gave you the news; he tried to answer instead of Will, but Jay stopped him before he could. “I’m asking my brother’s opinion, not yours.” He pointed out.

Will shook his head and placed his hand on Jay’s shoulder, trying to reassure him. “Jay.. I’m not y/n’s doctor and you should listen to him. He knows what the best for the baby is and for her too, okay?”

Jay calmed down a little bit and he sighed deeply; he looked up at the doctor and he nodded at him to let him know that he had his full attention.

“I’ll have to move that from the baby’s neck during the childbirth. It may be painful, but we have to do it for the baby’s sake. It won’t be difficult, okay? It’s nothing to be worried about, I made it so may times and everything went as expected. I need you to stay calm, you both.”

Jay went back to your side, and he took your hand in his, trying to be there for you; he saw how nervous and worried you were and he needed to be strong for you, he needed to be calm for you and the baby. “You heard the doctor, love. The baby is gonna be alright, okay? We need to be positive right now. Maybe we can think about some names, what do you think?”

You nodded, trying to take deep breaths, and trying to be as calm as you could. Having Jay by your side made it so much easier and you were grateful for having him there with you. You both started to say names for the baby and, one hour later, when the contractions were very close to each other and painful, they brought you to the birth room. Jay followed back, keeping telling you that everything would have been alright, that the baby would have been healthy and that you just needed to be calm for him. He was always by your side. He didn’t leave you, he kept reassuring you with soft and sweet words, he kept stroking your head and kissing your forehead. He was with you every second, he never left. Even when the doctor used his hand to move away the umbilical cord from the baby’s neck, that was very painful, Jay was there.

“Hold on, love. Hold on for me, y/n, everything is gonna be alright after that, okay?” he kept telling you, caressing your hand while you screamed in pain. When, finally, the doctor gave you the permission to push again, you did it, hoping that everything would have ended as soon as it was possible. He was just too much to handle, and you just wanted to cry and to rest a little bit.

“Just one more push and you will meet your children!” the doctor encouraged you, and you did it. You squeezed Jay’s hand as strong as you could, screaming in pain and pushing again for the last time. you could even describe how it felt when you heard the baby crying. Your heart stopped beating and tears ran down your cheeks but, this time, those were not tears of pain. Jay, on his side, just couldn’t believe it, nor even when he heard the baby crying. He just couldn’t believe that he was a dad.

A nurse immediately placed the baby on your chest, wrapped around a pink towel. She smiled at you and Jay. “Congratulations. Mom and Dad, it’s a baby girl.”

You looked down at your baby and you cried again and again, looking at her baby face and at her hands. She was so small and beautiful at the same time. you just couldn't believe that such a beaty came out of you, you just couldn't believe that you were finally see the baby that you felt growing inside of you. You never felt so good, you never felt so alive.

“Do you want to take her?” You asked Jay, softly.

All the pain you felt just vanished when you took her between your arms, and, when you passed her to your husband, you were even more happy.

The way Jay’s eyes lit up when he took her in his arms was something you would have never forgotten.

“Hi, sweetheart.” He said softly, crying when the baby squeezed one of his fingers in her small hand. “God, she’s beautiful.”

He just couldn’t look away; she was too beautiful. He could have stayed there, cuddling, all the time, even for years. He just looked away from her when the nurse asked them about her name, that needed to be written down on her bracelet.

“Halstead, Kate Halstead.” Both of you said, smiling at each other.

#oneshot #chicago pd #fluff #jay halstead #angst #chicago fire #chicago med #adam ruzek #fanfic #hailey upton #will halstead #kevin atwater #hank voight #x reader #kim burgess

[torreshalstead]

holy ground

Summary - Her fingers twitched, brushing against soft warm skin. But it wasn’t her own.

Hailey’s eyes fluttered open, taking in the sleeping figure beside her. He was still here.

It hadn’t been a figment of her imagination. It hadn’t been a dream that she had conjured up in her subconscious. It had been real.

And he had stayed.

Notes - because the deleted 2 second clip deserved an extension. Happy Reading ❤️ AO3 Link

Her fingers twitched, brushing against warm soft skin. But it wasn’t her own.

Hailey’s eyes fluttered open, taking in the sleeping figure beside her. He was still here.

It hadn’t been a figment of her imagination. It hadn’t been a dream that she had conjured up in her subconscious. It had been real.

And he had stayed.

Turning her attention to the rest of her body, she could feel the weight of a foreign object against her hip. Raising her head just slightly off the pillow not wanting to disturb her bedmate, she glanced down and smiled.

It was Jay’s arm. His hand holding her thigh as if he also needed a continued reminder that the occurrence of the previous night had not been fictitious.

The pleasant throb between Hailey’s legs told her it had been anything but fictitious. She let her eyes fall closed again as she remembered a few hours previous.

She had wanted to tell him for a long time how she felt, that she thought of him as more than just her partner, but she had never let herself imagine he would react like he had. To take her into his arms and kiss her in the middle of the bar, pulling her up onto her tiptoes so they were the same height and it was easier for him to trace the seam of her lips lightly with his tongue. When they had finally broken apart, not wanting to cause a scene in a public place, she couldn’t help the grin that was plastered to her face. Jay mirrored it as he linked their fingers together and tugged her towards the door.

She felt like a giddy school girl, finally getting to hold hands with the boy she was crushing on. That analogy blurred away when Jay pressed her up against his truck, his hips flush against hers and tugged her hair loose from its ponytail, letting his hands get buried in it as his mouth melted into hers again. It had been a long time since she had wanted to make out with someone on a street corner. But now she couldn’t tell where her body ended and Jay’s began.

Her cheeks were flush the whole drive back to hers, and although she thought her palms might be sweaty with the nerves of the lines they had already crossed and those they were about to, they were dry and steady. This was what she wanted. He was who she wanted.

And as it turned out. He wanted her too.

When they tumbled in through her apartment door, a mess of limbs and clothes that remained on their bodies for little longer than they had to. It struck Hailey how normal it felt. Yes, it felt incredible to finally get to kiss Jay and feel the plains of his muscles under her fingers. But it felt right. Like they had been destined to cross this bridge since the beginning. She didn’t believe in destiny of course, but at that exact moment in time, it seemed like the only explanation for how she was feeling.

Hailey had tugged him towards her bedroom by his belt and divulged him of the remainder of his clothes, her own boots and jeans ended up scattered at the foot of her bed along with them. She had always imagined Jay to be the sort of man who folded his clothes neatly when he took them off before bed. However, folding his clothes seemed to be the last thing on his mind as he kissed every inch of Hailey he could.

They had laughed as they took their relationship to the next level, not at each other or at the situation, but at how easy it was to be together. There was no bumping of heads or teeth knocking together or limbs in the wrong places, they fit together perfectly like two pieces of the same puzzle. And the look that Hailey saw reflected in Jay’s eyes as they tumbled over the precipice together solidified a single thought in her brain.

He was it for her.

He had ruined her for anybody else, the way he held her, touched her, loved her. It was on another level and one she never wanted to leave.

A small part of her, a tiny part that she tried to keep buried was what had pulled her from her sleep. It was the singular part of herself she hated more than anything else.

The part that told her she was unlovable.

The part that told her no one would ever think her worthy of love or look at her like she was.

It was that part that had told her that Jay wouldn’t be there when she woke up. That he would have come to his senses and snuck out the door, pretended it had never happened and gone back to just being her partner.

But he had stayed.

He was warm and smooth under her hand and he had kept a hold of her the entire night too.

She wondered silently if he had perhaps worried she may have left him in the middle of the night as well. Though with them both in her apartment, where else would she go? But she knew herself that the voices in your head were never logical, no matter how much they yelled at you, they were often based on flawed information.

She had tried for years to get rid of those voices, the ones who lied to her and told her she was unworthy of love and affection, that she was a burden to those around her. But it wasn’t as simple as plucking them out of her brain and throwing them in the trash. They had dug their way in deep, their roots burrowing into all corners of her subconscious so much so that they would show themselves at the most unlikely of moments when she least expected it.

So instead of throwing them out, Hailey had tried another method. She had tried to push them back to a single space, a single corner and once they were all together to lock them behind the thickest door she could imagine and keep the key completely separate - lessening the power that they held over her. She was better at it now than she had been when she was younger back when she had assumed that every man in her life was lying to her to get something out of her. Or when she listened to them that she hadn’t deserved her promotion to detective. But she was better now. She wouldn’t let them win.

And the sleeping man next to her was proof of that.

Proof that she wasn’t unlovable. That she wasn’t undeserving. That when she opened up to someone they wouldn’t stamp on her heart and laugh in her face.

She had told Jay how she felt and he had reciprocated. He had held her tightly and touched her softly. He had worshipped her body and told her she was beautiful. He had treated her like she was the only person in the world to him.

And then, he had stayed.

Hailey flexed her fingers, making certain one final time that he really was sleeping beside her, that it wasn’t some facet of those hideous voices playing a cruel trick on her. But he was really there.

She pulled herself a little closer to him, letting the hand that had been clutching his shoulder slide across his chest as she slid her body against his side. He hummed in response to her movements, bringing her even closer still by the hand on her hip that fell back onto the curve of her arse.

That had been a new discovery about him last night. Jay Halstead was an arse man. Who knew?

She smiled at the memory and dropped a soft kiss onto his bare shoulder where her head had found its place. His shoulder was far more comfortable than her pillow had ever been.

She didn’t know how long it was until her alarm was due to go off and she refused to lessen her hold on Jay to check it. She simply let her eyes fall close again, breathing in the smell of Jay - like the smell on a spring day when the leaves are finally green again and the air is crisp but not too cold. She knew the alarm would wake them soon, she wasn’t fool enough to believe they could live in this little bubble for the rest of the day, undisturbed by the world outside. But by the way Jay stirred underneath her, bringing the hand not already holding her up to tangle their fingers together, she thought that the little bubble might not completely burst.

And when he dropped a soft kiss to her forehead, she knew that she had been right. He was it for her.

And when he whispered ‘good morning’, his voice thick with sleep, his smile obvious even in his words, she knew it would be worth it. Whatever they had to face. They’d get through it. Together.

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