#he can do absolutely anything but [roger rabbit voice] 'only when it's funny!' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

steveng-rogers · 3 years

Text

Make It Sweet

Title: Make It Sweet

Summary: Steve works at a candy store, but candy is not the only sweet thing he’s going to have his hands on. Especially when the sweet “thing” can talk and gives him the ultimate sugar rush.

Pairing: Steve x Fem!Reader (and a special guest)

Warnings: Explicit 18+. If you’re not, log out and go to church. Daddy kink, food play. Degrading kink, exhibitionism. Public sex. Oral sex female and male receiving. Utter sweet, filth.

Word Count: 2,135

A/N: This fic is for my sweetest spouse, @curtiseverettswife I hope you like it. -Love Steeb.

The store was slow and Steve really had nothing to do other than stock up on sweets that almost ran out during the rush.

You asked if you can help, but he told you no.

“Steve come on. I’m bored.” You whined as you lean against the glass table.

“I know sugar. But I can’t leave until he gets here.” Steve pulls the lollipop out of his mouth with a pop and gives you a kiss over the counter.

You smile a little at the taste of cherry on his lips. It makes your body react in a sugar rush kind of way. It makes you want to hop over the counter and taste more of your man.

Steve pulls away as soon you move your lips, pressing the lollipop onto your lips. He grins. “Finish it for me.” You were about to grumble, but an idea popped into your head.

You flick your tongue on the tip of the lollipop and get the red ball into your mouth. “Okay, daddy.” You winked as you turn around, your hips sway and so does Steve’s eyes.

Steve hated himself for giving you that lollipop. It distracts him more than ever. You know it in your bones that Steve stares more than usual. So you gave him a show.

You swirl your tongue on it, run it down your tongue, and wraps your lips around it as you catch his gaze.

His adam’s apple bobs up and down as he watched you. A customer came in and he hesitantly tore his eyes away from you to greet him.

As the man looked around, he started to talk to you, and flirt away. You tilt your head, twirling your hair as you laugh at his jokes. You can feel Steve’s eyes bore its blue fire at the two of you. The man leans in and whispers something to you, making you giggle.

Steve stays quiet, but you know he’s irritated but more importantly hard as those rock candy.

The man finally left and now it’s just the two of you again.

Steve leaned against the wall behind him, his gaze on you, and his arms folded on his chest.

“Did you really have to do that?”

“Do what?”

He scoffed at you, playing all dumb. His eyes flicker at your pouty lips, how it gleams with sugar, and red from how hard you’ve been sucking that cherry pop. You licked your lips slowly.

“You need to stop.” He warned voice low and a little raspy. You clenched your thighs together, fuck that’s hot you thought.

“Make me.” You taunted, maybe your biggest mistake or your best move. Steve pushes off the wall and walks towards you, his steps slow and calculated. Like a predator, watching its prey.

He keeps walking towards you. He takes a step forward and you backward. Until your back reached the front door. He leans close to you, so close that you can smell the cologne and cherry mixed together.

He reached his hand beside you and you close your eyes as you felt his warm breath against your collarbone. He turns the sign from “open” to “close”.

“Steve..” You gasp as he bites your pulse point. You almost dropped your lollipop as you felt his tongue smooths over the pink mark. “It’s daddy to you, brat.” His tone changed as he said the word brat.

Now you found yourself splayed out on Steve’s laps, your ass stings, but your panties soaked.

Steve brought his hand up and then down, spanking you hard. Your body rocked forward. The pain shoots ecstasy to your body like pop rocks candy.

“How many is that sugar?” You mumble out the answer and Steve had to spank you again for you speak up. “T-ten daddy!” His hands run his hand down your ass, making you shiver.

He slips his middle finger down your soaking panties. “You think it’s funny to say no to your daddy?” He hooks his finger on the thin material and rips it off you.

“Flirting with strangers and sucking on that lollipop like it’s my dick. He has no idea how dirty-minded you really are huh sweetheart?” You heard the lollipop clicking against his teeth as he takes it out of his mouth.

“Or how dumb and wet you get after a few spanks from me.” You felt the sticky tip as Steve pressed it on your bare cunt. He runs it up and down, coating the lollipop with your arousal.

“Look at me.” Steve commands and you look up at him as he brought the red candy back into his mouth. You whimper at the sight, wishing his mouth closed around you instead.

He picked you up and places you on the metal table, where all the candy was made. He spread your legs apart and he hums contently at the sight.

Steve runs the pad of his thumb over your bottom lips, he pushed your mouth open and slides two of his fingers in. “You know what to do.” He murmured. You wrap your lips around his digits and start to bob your head, your eyes almost fell close until, “No baby, keep those eyes on daddy.”

Before you find a good rhythm his other hand finds the hair on the back of your head and he tugs it, making your head tip backward. “Ngh daddy.” You moaned.

“Such a dirty slut, you’d suck on anything daddy put in your mouth hm?” Steve glides his spit-soaked fingers around your pussy then he slides them in, curling them inside you. “S-Daddy! Oh, fuck.” You yelped, your hips rolled to his fingers.

“Feels good huh? Look at how you wrapped prettily around my fingers. Can’t wait till it’s daddy’s cock. Maybe I’ll just cum on your pussy and not let you come at all. Daddy’ll fuck it into you and let you walk home with me, with my cum running down your legs.” You clenched around him at the image he just put in your head. “Dirty girl, you’d like that huh?”

“Daddy..” You whimper, your legs wrapped themselves around his hips to pull him close.

“Come on use your words. You talk just fine when you said ‘make me’.” You gritted your teeth, willing your mouth to cooperate with your head to form some kind of words.

“Daddy please..” Steve added another finger in and made sure to brush it against your sweet spot. “Ahh Steve.. Please daddy. Fuck me, fuck me.” You begged, all breathy.

Steve pulls his zipper down and lets out his hard-on. You bite your lips at it, it’s hard, and leaking at the top. Steve caged your jaw in his hand to force you to look at him as he slowly enters you.

You were so wet and from his fingers, you’re ready for your candy man. Steve wasted no time and with three languid thrusts, he’s sheath inside you.

“God Y/n, so fucking wet and perfect for daddy. So fucking perfect.” He praises and it made your core clenched around him. “Daddy, daddy please fuck me.”

Both of you were so lost in each other’s arms that the ringing from the bell up front didn’t reach the lust-clouded back room.

The man licked his ice cream as he watched the two of you go at it. He can see your back shine with sweat and Steve’s large hand on you, holding you as he fucks you deep and hard.

The man is sporting a nice bulge under his uniform. The ice cream in his mouth melts faster than usual as he hears you repeatedly call Steve daddy. It made his bones hums with arousal and he wanted a taste.

Steve looks up from his place on your neck and saw him. He didn’t budge, he just smirks at Steve. Steve didn’t slow his hips, instead, he holds you closer and thrust his hips harder. Steve stared at him, eyes glow with lust and defiance.

“Need a hand?” The man offered as he throws his ice cream in the trash bin. Steve looks down at you, who’s now turning your head to see a man approaching from your peripheral vision.

“Robert?” You asked, your voice barely came out as you felt his rough lips against your bare shoulder. “Mhm, the one and only sweetness.” He purred as he placed his chin on your shoulder, his dark eyes met Steve.

“You two, horny rabbits didn’t even lock the damn door.”

“You’re late.” This makes Robert laugh. Now all you can smell is vanilla and cigarettes, your toes curled at the perfect swirl scent. Your body starts to heat up more from the excitement and the way Steve throbs inside you indicates that Steve wanted this too.

“Aw Steve, I came right on time. So what’d ya say, give me a taste and I’ll never be late again.” Steve knows he’s bullshitting, but you still needed to be punished. His eyes find yours and you nod at him, giving him the ‘yes’.

Steve lays you down on the table and Robert grunts at the sight of your naked form. The metal met your heated skin and it made you jump a little. “ ‘s okay darlin’. Mr. Freezy will take good care of ya.”

You watched in anticipation as Robert tugs his pants open, releasing his cock. You swallowed thickly at the sight. “What’s wrong honey? Am I bigger than your daddy?” Robert teased the tip of his leaking cock on your lips.

“Fuck you, Robert.” Robert grinned at Steve, giving him a wink.

“Be a good girl and open up for your daddy over there.” And you open your mouth, letting Robert slides his cock inside.

“Aw shit, Rogers.” He growled as you expertly swirl your tongue on the base of his cock. You deep throat him and Robert had to hold onto the table to stop himself from coming.

“Got a good practice from your daddy I bet.” You moaned around him as you felt Steve starts to move again.

Robert thrusts in and out of your mouth. You gagged as the tip hit the back of your throat and it made Robert moves faster. He watched as his cock made its way down your throat.

“Choke her Robert, she loves it.. Oh shit-ah.” Steve hissed at the way your pussy grips his cock like a glove. “Oh yeah? Didn’t know your girl was such a kinky little slut.”

Robert wraps both of his hands around you and applies pressure. From the way Steve’s fucking your cunt, Robert in your mouth, and the hands choking you, you saw stars. Your body tensed at the absolute pleasure both of the men have filled you with.

“Don’t cum. Don’t cum until we do.” Steve pressed his thumb to your clit and rubbed them slowly to warn you. “Rogers I’m gonna paint your girl’s mouth, she’s sucking me so fucking good.”

“Do it, she’ll swallow every drop.” Robert groaned as he fucks into your mouth till he came deep inside. You moaned as Robert keeps on moving his cock inside your mouth till the very last drop of his cum was spilled. “Greedy girl, swallow it all honey. Like your daddy told you to.”

You felt Steve throbs inside you and you knew he was close. Both men exchange a look and the next you know you were sandwich between Robert and Steve. With Steve still fucking the soul out of you, you felt Robert’s chest against your back.

Robert kissed and nipped along your neck. He snakes his hand in the front and starts to rub at your sensitive pearl. You moaned loudly and begs at Steve to cum inside. “Inside daddy, want your cum inside me.”

Steve groaned, gripping your hips as he comes and paints your walls with his seed. “Fuck-Y/n.. Shit.”

Robert quicked his hand on your nub and as your body tense, orgasm hits you like a splash of hot water. Making your whole body tremble in pleasure. “God, oh my fucking-god!”

Robert smirks at the sight of you two, fucked out couple. “You’re fucking nuts Rogers.” He brought his soaked fingers into his mouth, tasting both you and Steve.

Steve looks up, a crooked smile on his lips. “Shut up Freezy.”

Robert left you two to clean up. Steve kissed your forehead softly. “Learned your lesson?” You hum lazily and shook your head. “Nope.”

friends tags: @curtiseverettswife @nick-halden @nix-akimbo @eurynome827 @princess-cocktails @daddyandybarber

#steve x reader #steve x y/n #steve rogers fic #stove wrote it #ask box #steve x reader x robert #robert pronge fic #mr freezy smut

140 notes · View notes

jokin-around · 5 years

Photo

1am trek to Rite-aide in a Batman kigurumi for a bottle of cold syrup and some ice cream

Fic under the cut🎉🎉 ⬇⬇⬇

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19826074

from beneath a pile of blankets a color drained clown groaned miserably, the sound somewhat muffled by the assortment pretty plastic bobbles filling up the half deflated kitty pool they laid in haphazardly.

The clown in question was Gotham's very own mage of mischief. and much as pain played into his game he absolutely HATED being sick.

Funny thing was, Jay didn’t ever get sick. Period.

With the slew of mystery chemicals constantly floating around in his blood he’d always thought he’d be immune to something as innocuous as a cold. yet here he was stewing in misery, surrounded by a sea of used tissues.To say this was the first time he'd spent the wee hours of the night feeling like garbage would be a lie, but it was definitely the first time he’d felt so unprepared for an ailment.

All that considered, He wouldn’t mind the discomfort if he wasn't so hopelessly bored and… not to mention… alone.

Harley, who was probably busy gardening at the moment, hadn’t answered his calls and none of the other rogues would bother coming to his aid if he asked… they didn't like him very much. He didn’t know why and hardly cared but right now he honestly wished he was better at making friends. Of course, Bud, his lovely hyena who was snoring audibly in the other corner of the room, kept him company on long lonely days, but a dog’s unconditional love could only go so far.

He’d been in his room for hours at this point but as the bat shaped clock on his wall struck 1:00 Jay finally decided he’d had enough.

Throwing the blankets aside, sending foam balls bouncing around the room in the process, Jay sat up, hair a mess, rings around his tired eyes, and stood. Trying his best to ignore the how the world spun like a fun top.

He didn’t need Harley or ANY of those other stupid bozo’s. He could fend for himself just fine and he wasn't about to let some stupid head cold keep him down. Without any further thought Jay grabbed his coat, put on shoes, and headed out the door with a pop-gun in his pocket, looking an absolute mess. Grateful for Gotham's shady midnight darkness --------------------------------

It didn’t take long for the clown to reach his destination, Nite-aid pharmaceuticals was right down the street, just close enough to glide the whole way on a pair of unsteady heelys.

When he entered the store the place was mostly empty except for a few unfortunate stragglers. Night owls looking for late-night smokes and liquor as busted fluorescent lights buzzed and flickered above them... A few patrons turned to glance at him warily, not recognizing the clown out of makeup but suspicious nonetheless. Their failure to turn-tail at first sight would be a mistake they'd soon regret as the unkempt clown lifted his pop-gun in the air and lazily pulled it's trigger.

Now a normal play pistol would’ve gone off with an amusingly harmless pop, but Jay liked to personalize his toys. When the cork shot out the sound pierced through the nights silence like a firecracker, a waft of confetti and billowing green smoke flying up with it in an explosion of noxious, candy scented, color.

The fumes quickly spread through the small store, hot boxing it with chemicals that sent all who breathed it into a frenzied fit. The few unlucky customers present dropped anything they held and nearly toppled over each other as they ran screaming with laughter into the night.

At the back though, a store clerk, who seemed to be bared behind his counter, gagged and giggled as he writhed on the floor with his arms clenched around his sids, too disoriented by now to jump to freedom or even unlatch the door leading out.

As Joker came closer the man backed up, amused yet scared half to death of what would happen as the clown peered over the counter and examined him silently.

A few beats passed before Joker let out a small sigh and mentally made a note to tweak his smilex a tad as he wordlessly opened the gate and let the poor, gasping, employee run free, watching him trip over his own feet a few times as he did. His patented giggle concoction seemed a little too potent this time around, he’d have to fix it sometime….

Soon the joint was empty and joker was alone once more. The whole store now nuisance free and it’s contents perfectly ripe for the taking.

Humming a tune to himself Jay sashayed over to the medicinal isle and eyed over his options. All the keysmashed names and multicolored boxes seemed to meld together the longer he stared. he had no idea which one would be his miracle cure and the way his head swirled made it hard to concentrate on all the teeny-tiny words in front of his heavy feeling eyes. Instead of thinking Jay took a bag and filled it with whatever looked right. If he overdosed on Benadryl and Tylenol instead of Nyquil, so be it.

Before heading out Jay decided to take anything else he thought he might need to feel better including a pint of mint-chocolate chip ice-cream from the fridges in back, a page of funnies and a bargain bin DVD copy of Roger Rabbit .

--------------------------

As Jay walked out he heard a low rumble coming from a few blocks away, before he was able to recognize the telltale roar of the Batmobile, the powerful car had already charged its way down the street swerving to a sudden screeching halt in front of the small drug store as blinding headlights pointed directly at Jay, temporarily disorienting the already discombobulated clown and exposing his unfortunate appearance.

As Jay clumsily shielded his eyes a dark figure exited the tech loaded vehicle and slowly floated closer. Soon a tall shadow loomed over him, blocking the stunning beams of light. Jay slowly peered up to meet a pair of cold blue slits.

"Batman..…?" said Jay, sounding somewhat surprised despite knowing better

“Shoulda known you’d be here…. you're not gonna arrest me are you?" He asked pitifully

The Bat seemed to examine him for a moment, blue lenses eyeing him up and down. Jay was suddenly very aware of how he must have looked, he hadn't combed his hair, or shaved, or bathed, he was 99% percent sure he'd grabbed a mix-matched pair of heelys on the way out and he was currently wearing a jacket over a onesie despite the fact he was cooking like a hotdog in a microwave, evident by the beads of cold sweat trailing down his face….

His bare, scar riddled, face….

He began to turn red with embarrassment as he averted his weary gaze from the other man's calculated scrutiny, shoulders tensing

"Look are you gonna do your thing or can I take my stolen goods and go?" He asked impatiently, exhaustion in his voice

"My Bat-monitor says you have a 104 degree fever" the Bat states. No inflection.

"right, Which is why I need to get home like, now- " a large hand placed itself on his shoulder as he crouched to collect his stuff from the ground

"What you NEED is medical attention" Batman insisted, gently firming his grip. Jay, stood up, shaking his head in protest despite feeling more and more lightheaded with every passing second

"n-no I-I'm fine, i'll be fine! I just need t- "

Before he could protest further, handcuffs were promptly clasped around his limp wrists with a snug click, Jay looked at his shiny new bracelets and gave Bruce a sharp glare.

"bastard." he grumbled

"You'll thank me later." Bats stated cooly as he took the clown by the scruff of his hood and escorted him to the Batmobile. Jay struggled slightly at first, ragdolling as the Bat pulled him along, the fight in him quickly dissipated though as his energy slowly faded and he realized how shortsighted he'd been to not expect a situation like this. Of course the Bat would be here. you could hardly J-walk in this city without his big dumb ears hearing about it somehow.

But despite the inconvenience he wasn't mad… just… unprepared

he and the Bat had a special little relationship and after the day he'd had, that flowing black cape could be considered a sight for sore eyes. But this particular situation was a little different from their usual routine. Up there on the rooftops they were perfectly matched equals. Jay fast and unpredictable, Bats strong and disciplined. right now, as Jay was silently chauffeured to an impressive looking street demon, the scales were tipped, and instead of being fast he was weak and slow and practically nodding off by the time Bats gently placed his body in it’s passenger seat.

The rumble of the monsters powerful engine shook Jay from his daze and his unfocused eyes were greeted by a colorful array of buttons and knobs that decorated the car's interior.

"Ooohh" he awed quietly

"Don't. Touch. ANYTHING." The Bat warned sternly.

"Fuuuh-INE" he complained. "You don't mind if i eat in here tho right?" He asked as he fished into his bag and took out his pint of ice cream.

Batman shot him a look of disapproval.

"Ah, Don't worry- " Jay assured as he struggled to get the tub open "I won't get any on your p-precious lea-ther interio- " a bout of violent coughs interrupted his snarky remark…

The Bat sighed

"here, let me" he took the tub and quickly ripped it open, before placing it back in Jays lap

"OH HO HO thanks, Armstrong." He teased

"Whatever… Just pipe down and take this." Bruce reached into his glorified fanny pack and pulled out a small green pill.

Jay eyed it curiously.

"S' not some funky sedative is it?" He asks cautiously

Bruce shook his head….

"It's a… chemical agent I made special for you… I uh… mix it with my sedatives to counteract your resistance to them… it won't put you to sleep but It should have the same effect on those meds i’m paying for" he explained, nodding at the cherry flavored syrup Jay swiped.

With a bit of hesitation Jay picked up the small capsule and eyed it further. It was rather large and filled with a bright green gel.

"....well that's pretty... thoughtful of you I guess. "

Bruce looked away briefly, he'd created the compound last time Jay was out cold on his operating table using a sample of his blood. He'd put it to other uses since, but it had ultimately saved the clown's life last time around… that said he should've known Jay might find his over-preparedness odd

After a few beats of silence, Jay bit the bullet, washing it down with a scoop of ice cream. Help from the Bat, no matter how uncalled for, was usually help he could trust, besides he thought it was funny how often the Bat modded his tech just for his sake. Was it obsessive? Romantic? he couldn’t tell, but he was definitely flattered…

With a small contented smile on his face, Bruce turned back to the wheel and revved his engine "Alright clown... buckle up"

-------------------------------------------------------------------

It didn't take long for the two to arrive at the Batcave. The ride there quick and uneventful. Bruce didn’t have to bother with a blindfold or knockout gas to cover his tracks, Jay had passed out about halfway there and even then, it wouldn't have mattered much. He was sure Jay already knew it’s location despite being in the dark about...other things.

Exiting the car and stalking to the other side with his cape flowing behind him. Bruce opened the door to the passenger seat and watched as the winged doors lifted to reveal a sleeping figure cradling a half melted pint of ice cream.

“Is this the 'guest' you mentioned earlier sir?” Alfred inquired as he came to greet his kevlar clad son.

“It is.” He answered softly as he slowly lifted the pint from the clowns arms and handed It to the older man

"You somehow failed to mention the guest in question was your colorful new nemesis” the servant jested, raising a brow

"Uh… Forgot to I guess" Bruce shrugged, knowing full well he’d swept a detail or two under the rug to avoid another scolding from his free-spoken butler.

There was a pause of silence as they both watched the peaceful perriot rest

“...If only he was this quiet all the time, Gotham would be a much less hectic place… “ said Alfred after a moment.

“Perhaps” said Bruce. eye’s never breaking away as his chest rose and fell

Alfred, of course, had more to say but decided to keep it to himself as not to sour the moment he was having.

“Well this is going in the fridge... a pot of hot soup should be ready shortly. Just enough for the both of you”

“Thanks al”

Alfred nodded then went on his way as Bruce turned his attention back to Jay.

Although he was used to seeing the jolly jester in a more upkept state, he had to admit he was… striking... even like this…

When that perpetually cheery smile of his finally relaxed, it was replaced by soft supple lips and butter knife sharp cheekbones that framed his face in a way rarely seen outside of hollywood.

Gingerly, Bruce reached beneath his guest and lifted him from his seat.

It always surprised him how light he was, not that Jay was very big to begin with but… the way he threw a punch, took hits like they were nothing… it made it easy to forget he was only about 5'4"... perhaps even smaller minus the mane of hair that currently draped over his tired face

With the rest of the man’s features veiled, Bruce’s eyes were drawn to the two deep scars which curled from the corners of his mouth like a jagged grin. They were long healed but Bruce had a feeling the wounds cut deeper than eyes could see...

As Bruce thumbed away a few stray locks of green to get a better look, Jay began to stir. Hurriedly Bruce stepped over to the med bay section of the cave and laid his guest down before his eyes began to flutter open

"W-where?" He asked groggily as his vision focused

"Batcave."

“Again?” He muttered while sitting up “This gonna be a regular thing?”

“Were you expecting a hospital?” Bruce asked.

Jay rubbed his face

“guess not….” Hospitals we’re never really an option for people like them he supposed. Too many nosy doctors and prodding hands… bad memories...

“Here” a small cup of cherry liquid appeared in front of him, held by a black glove. He took it slowly.

“Can't have the whole bottle??”

“Why would you want to?”

Jay shrugged and took the shot

“I dunno…”

Bruce let that comment slide and stepped closer to check his temperature again.

"How are you feeling?"

" terrible" Jay replied miserably. Bruce looked at his monitor, the clown was stable at about 105°. It wasn't common for a cold to come with a fever but Jay was... an uncommon person.

" think a cool shower might help?"

The clown smiled "...mm… maybe…. You aren't offering to join me are you?"

Bruce scoffed "Not with you like this I'm not…"

Jay rose an eyebrow.

"er… not that I would if you…. Weren't…" Bruce's cheeks went pink for a moment. Though he'd looked away he could tell Jay was smiling even wider. Probably holding in a laugh too.

"Uhm...alright uh… washroom's that way, use what you want, shampoo, conditioner, whatever, I can always buy more"

Jay hopped down from the table and stretched with a moan

"I'm sure you can, rich boy."

"Huh?" Bruce tensed, taken aback by the term usually used to describe his alter ego.

"being best buds with Bruce Wayne must have some pretty sweet perks"

Bruce sighed, allowing himself to breath again as Jay made his way to the shower "right.."

_____________

It didn't take long for Jay to return, He made quick work of cleaning up and was soaped, rinsed and dried within a few minutes. His greasy mop now a fluffy, blow dried, up-do And his mind fog free.

The bouncy mane of curls caught Bruce's attention as the clown re-entered the main room, freshly scrubbed, lemon scented and humming a tune.

"You look a little better…. " Bruce complimented

"Just a little?" Said Jay, faking disappointment.

"Uh… w...well" Bruce stammered.

"Just teasing u dummy." He said with a smile as he took a seat on the bannister next to the Bat-computer.

"Right… well.... I see you're back to your normal self" said Bruce, returning to his work

"Mostly." Jay smiled

"Good… that's good." There was some silence taken up by Bruce's fingers tapping the Bat-computer's interface

"Hey." Jay interrupted

"Yeah?" Said Bruce

"Aren't you scared of catching my cold-cooties or something?" The clown inquired

"No." Bruce answered bluntly.

"Why not?"

"bats don't get colds"

Jay rose an eyebrow.

"Oh really?"

"It's true."

"Mhm…"

Suddenly the sound of a throat clearing interrupted their banter.

"are you two quite done, or will supper have to wait?"

The odd couple turned to face Alfred who was holding a silver platter somewhat impatiently.

"er...Now is fine Alfred"

The butler nodded and gracefully waltzed between them to set the plate down. Removing it's dome to reveal a piping hot stew, stuffed with chicken and veggies, with fresh baked biscuits on the side. It’s aroma was even more enticing than it’s appearance

"Wow this is nothing like that Campbell's stuff" said Jay, eyes wide.

"I should hope not.” Alfred huffed. “ I didn't go to culinary school to cook from a can"

“Thank’s Al, it looks great”

"Of course sir… Oh, and, sir?"

"Yeah, Al?"

"You invited this man into your home… least you could do is give him a proper seat"

Jay was still sitting on the banister, swinging his legs happily.

“oh…. Right” he pressed a button and a second chair raised from the floor “i’m… usually the only person down here, sorry.”

“What about that kid?”

“Robin? Never sits still, likes the banister “

“Huh, Go figure….” Jay plopped down in his seat and spun around a few times before grabbing his bowl and testing the soup… to put it lightly, the taste was beyond heavenly.

“Oh my god….”

“Glad to see it suits your taste mr.Jay, young Bruce would fuss about having to eat it every time he was under the weather….”

Bruce a blushed a tint

Jay smiled

“I guess bat’s DO get the sniffles”

“Wasn't a bat back then, doesn’t count”

“Yes it does.”

“No it doesn't”

“Yes it- “

“Children!”

They froze… Alfred gave them a stern look. Free of malice but intimidating nonetheless.

“Do try to behave yourselves, I have enough trouble with robin as is and he’s much better mattered than the both of you”

“Yes, Alfred”

“Sorry, Alfred…” they apologized

The butler one last look,turned on his heels and left the room in silence.

“Man you’re butler’s mean…” Jay whispered

“Don't worry, it’s just an act…. I think…” As they both returned to their gourmet supper Jay suddenly recalled the DVD he'd brought with him.

"Oh HEY! Can we watch a movie???"

"Movie?"

"Yeah!" Jay scrambled over his bag and ran back with the box in his hand.

"Roger Rabbit! It's a classic!"

"Never seen it."

"Really? well we'll have to fix that… it's a detective story! you'll like it!…"

Bruce slowly took the case, studying its colorful cover…

"Suppose… I'll... take your word for it."

Reluctantly, Bruce popped a hatch on the Bat-computer and let the movie play on one of it's many monitors. Jay sitting back with a satisfied smile as Bruce sunk deeper into his work...

Or at least, tried to.

Jay's amused chuckles here and there made it hard to concentrate but the sound wasn't… unpleasant. Every now and then the clown would tap his shoulder and tell him to pay attention to a favorite scene or line if his… eyes flitting between him and the screen, searching for a reaction, however small or unreadable … smiling whenever Bruce's lips curled even a millimeter or two.

As the night continued, Bruce recalled the large home theater he had upstairs in the mansion

50 seats and rarely more than one taken at a time...

He imagined himself up there now with his arm around the other man's shoulders, sharing snacks and a large blanket, huddled close…

Perhaps he could’ve come up with some elaborate lie about "Bruno" allowing visitors in his humble abode, but as much warmth as the thought gave him, it was greatly overpowered by his own paranoia…

He wasn’t quite ready to break that barrier no matter how much he wanted too...

So maybe not today…

But maybe later….

Someday.

After a few passing moments Bruce realized Jay’s little interruptions had stopped and turned to find the man fully asleep on the chair beside him. With a light sigh, Bruce carefully removed his cape and draped it over the man just as he’d done before a year or so ago, Quietly calling for Alfred to prepare the Batcave’s guest bed.

With all the cordial tenderness in the world, Bruce lifted his nemesis and carried him downstairs. for now, somewhere in between all the imaginary lines they’d drawn in the sand, just this close was close enough.

#batman #lego batman #batjokes #jokeboi au #fanfic #my art

917 notes · View notes

flaneuriste · 4 years

Text

Ten things I’ve learned from watching the ‘Von Trapped Family’ (that’s what the Gilmour family is calling themselves) livecasts:

So....David’s wonderful wife, Polly Samson, was supposed to be doing a book launch of her latest “A Theatre for Dreamers” but, of course, it was cancelled ‘cause of COVID-19. Instead, we’ve been getting several livecasts on Facebook. They are sheltering together at their country home with all of their children except for Joe (at least Joe doesn’t show up anywhere). Son Gabriel built a backdrop that looks like a Greek taverna (the book is set on the Greek island of Hydra). Oldest son, Charlie is the 'interviewer,” reading questions and comments, Polly answers most of the questions and does readings from her book, Charlie’s wife Irina occasionally reads one of Leonard Cohen’s poems (Leonard is one of the major characters in the book) in between taking care of their baby. Romany, David and Polly’s daughter, plays harp and sings absolutely heavenly duets with her father. David plays background guitar, singing occasionally and commenting even more occasionally. ONE This may be the only time I’ll get to see David live...who KNOWS when he’ll come up with another album and tour and even then, I think it highly unlikely he’ll ever tour N. America again so....I haven’t given up hope but I am really grateful that I get to watch this. TWO UTTERLY charming. The whole bunch of them. THREE I LOVE POLLY. No, I mean I really love her. To paraphrase @glorious-blackout “Ma’am, I am a simple heterosexual, quit confusing me.” She is so lovely, unaffected, funny, kind, brilliant - she’s an absolute darling. I probably wouldn’t have known anything about her if she and David hadn’t married but she impresses me to no end. FOUR Every single one of this family has a beautiful speaking voice, Irina is from somewhere middle Europe - Ukrainian, perhaps? Damn, I adore that accent. She’s very quiet but when she read that poem. WOW. Charlie has that exact pronunciation and modulation you expect from a very eccentric, very educated, very literate sort and I am totally here for it. Polly has what I can only describe as a warm voice, David too. They have such warm tones in their voices. She’s doing the narration for the recorded book version and David is doing the sound production for it, so you KNOW it’s going to be good. Romany’s going to have her own paragraph and so is David. FIVE There is always at least one dog in the room. The dogs are very much included in everything. I remember that moment from “Wider Horizons” when David was walking by and greeted their old doggie (who is gone now), “Hello Mr. Khan.” He does the same thing with their present dogs. This family LOVES ANIMALS (be sure to Google Charlie’s whole experience with Benzene, his pet magpie). SIX Everyone is invited to submit questions on the Facebook feed. SHE ANSWERED ONE OF MY QUESTIONS. But aside form that, I have to admit that I get really annoyed at both the repetitiveness and, frankly, the disrespect for the occasion in a lot of the questions. It’s HER book that they are launching and they don’t mind answering other questions but, as you can imagine, tons of them are: “Will you and Roger ever play together again?” (really? Really? REALLY?); “When will you be touring again?” “Come back to ____ (fill in location)” Anyone who knows A N Y thing about David knows that he gets so fucking tired of the same thing AND that he has way too much respect for his wife than to turn it into a PF thing. SEVEN I really want to read this book. Leonard Cohen had a big impact on me, since I was about fourteen or fifteen. Polly thinks he is one of the greatest poets of our time and I have to agree with her. EIGHT Romany. She. looks. so. much. like. David. Just a tiny bit more feminine but SO MUCH. She plays the freaking harp for pity’s sake. He plays guitar, she plays the harp, they harmonize together like a couple of freaking angels. Chrrrrrrrist. Someone asked if she were going to pursue a career in music and she said, “NO!” Who can blame her? I feel bad for the offspring of famous people who try to go down the same path for all the obvious reasons. Anyway, she’s other-worldly beautiful, as you can imagine. She’s into acting (theatre) and photography. And Polly said that when she is deep in the writing process and driven by it, Romany delivers cups of tea and snacks to her desk. NINE David and Polly. So not only can any of us who wish to find a man ever find a man who really compares but goddamnit, they seem to have one of the nicest relationships I can imagine. I am SURE it’s not perfect (in fact, I know that one of their songs rose out of a fight they were having “What Do You Want From Me”) but it looks really good. Keep in mind these livecasts are very unstructured and sort of goofy, like you just dropped around to visit them and you have to take what you get. And they just casually say things like this: David: “It’s a privilege to work with someone who is as great a writer as Polly” Polly: “David is in all of my books” The way they look at each other. Sigh. TEN David. One of the questions was about who cooks the most and what is your favourite dish of that person. Polly said David cooks the most and her favourite creations of his is “posh cheese on toast” (this is also known as Welsh Rarebit OR Welsh Rabbit because the people of the British Isles like to confuse the rest of us). Apparently he adds the leftover brie, which sends it right over the top. He speaks the least of anyone, unless someone asks him a direct question, which is usually Polly. He noodles about on the guitar, mostly Leonard Cohen songs. Charlie calls him Papa. I am convinced this man is living his best life. He looks so content and mild. His speaking voice just gets better - lower, richer. His singing voice is as good as ever. People hound him about touring and so on. Honestly, why would he? He loves his home, his family, his studio in the barn, cooking, puttering around the garden. Why go to all the trouble? He might still but I don’t think he has any desire for big tours anymore and I can’t say I blame him. He’s been there, done that. FINALLY Yes, of COURSE I wish they would adopt me. Okay, that’s not true ‘cause I am lucky enough to been born into a loving family - but I wish they would be my best friends! How I would love to drop around to the farm and find out what fruit trees David has planted and which roses Polly likes the best. There are no perfect families. There are no “well-adjusted” families. There are always traumas and secrets and regrets. But this one seems to be doing a fairly good job. Best wishes to David, Polly and all of their brood. And a special hi to Barbounia and Random Dog - extra cute.

#David Gilmour Polly Samson extra points for those of you who see The Girl In The Yellow Dress

26 notes · View notes

sweeetmonstrosity · 5 years

Text

Honeybee’s and Peonies

Summary: In which your assumptions hurt you more than they help you.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

Warnings: None.

Square(s) Filled: Mutual Pining

Word Count: 2473

Link: AO3

A/N: This here fills a square on my @star-spangled-bingo card and is for @bvcks 4.2k writing challenge - prompt was “Why are you in my room?” + “I don’t really know.” + “I don’t mind.”

As always, any feedback is appreciated. xx

“You need to just tell him, Y/N. He is kind of an idiot when it comes to this type of stuff – actually, you both are.” Rolling your eyes, you decided to ignore Tasha and keep focusing on your post workout stretches. Tasha huffs out when you stay silent and puts pressure on a nerve in your shoulder until you turn to her.

“Tash, I really don’t know why you keep pushing this. He is my friend, okay?” Your voice began sounding distressed. “You were there to witness him asking out Sharon anyways, so can’t you just let it go, please?”

Natasha grabbed your shoulders and looked right into your eyes making sure you understood her clearly. “No. I can’t let it go because it’s obvious to everyone on the team about your feelings for each other. You both are just too stupid to see it.” She narrowed her eyes when you tried pulling away from her grip. “Go tell him, now, Y/N.”

Finally pulling out of her grip you shake your head and begin walking away. Pausing at the door to leave the training room, you look over your shoulder and see Tasha debating whether she should drag you to Steve’s room or take matters into her own hands and tell him herself. Pointing a finger at her you call out, “I know what you’re thinking Tasha and there’s nothing to tell, Tasha, so leave it alone.” You don’t give her time to answer as you quickly exit and head to your room for a shower.

You had a feeling it was obvious to everyone that you had feelings for Steve, considering all the small comments they would make concerning the two of you. You had a small bit of hope that you weren’t completely obvious about it – but the one thing you knew for sure – was they didn’t know how deep those feelings went for him.

Everything with Steve came easily and comfortably. Conversations came naturally – you didn’t have to try and force anything with him. It was always like you had known him for your entire life. You liked how he smiled wider than usual when you called him Grant instead of Steve and how he made sure to greet everyone that worked at the compound, and how he deeply entranced he gets when he’s drawing something. You adored the way he scrunched his nose slightly when he didn’t understand something fully or Peter quoted a meme he’d seen. How he would get that small furrow and look to you or Sam when he was confused about something, and how his cheeks and neck would gain a light pink tint when he figured out something was a sexual innuendo. Everything about him made pieces of you light up like fireworks.

Which is why you were despising the fact you were sitting alone in your room at the compound alone while everyone else was out at dinner. Sam and Bucky mentioned Sharon was also coming to dinner – so you opted out of being around Steve and her. You weren’t your best self when you were around them together. You had a knack for unknowingly putting down her accomplishments or found yourself trying to dig deep into her mind to find any insecurities to exploit. You didn’t want to be that person and put other women down rather than cheer them on, so you did the only other thing you could which was not putting yourself in that situation at all.

Sharon is a lovely woman, there are no bad feelings involved when it comes to your relationship with her. If anything, it’s just the case of the little green-eyed monster that’s the cause of a small rift between the two of you. Before you accepted you had feelings for the Captain, you got along pretty well with her. Not that you’d ever admit you had those feelings to Natasha. You have absolutely nothing against her or anything bad to say about her. She is perfect. Perfect for SHIELD, for the team, for Grant.

Maybe, that was what helped cause the rift. The fact that she is the perfect person for everything you were currently doing with the Avengers. You assume Fury has more trust in her than he does in you, and she previously helped Steve along with saving his life. She can take your spot in a heartbeat, it wasn’t likely since Fury has her on another job – so she can’t take your place until that one is done. On top of having Fury on her side, she is perfect for the guy you have been pining after for almost two years.

Before you can continue down the rabbit hole of your emotions, there is a bang outside in the hallway, a mumbled curse, then suddenly someone has stumbled through the door and is now standing in front of your bed.

You furrow your brows and look up at Steve asking yourself, ‘Shouldn’t he be at dinner right now?’ Steve suddenly clears his throat and your head snaps back up to him. You hide your shaky hands under the blanket and breathe out slowly before quietly questioning, “Grant, why are you in my room?”

He looked at you curled up in the middle of your bed - frowning when he noticed you were shrinking into yourself. “I don’t really know.” He mumbles, glancing around the room with a frown before slowly walking to sit next your shrinking form. You watch him closely and slowly nod your head, “I don’t mind,” you clear your throat as you move to the other side of the bed – giving him way more space than needed. “I just thought, uh – aren’t you supposed to be at dinner with everyone right now?” you added, nervously.

Steve sits down and nods before he scratches the back of his head and looks around the room, again. “Uh, you didn’t come to dinner and I uh, I wanted to come check on you – make sure you’re okay and everything is fine.” The intensity of his voice got stronger as he kept talking.

“Yeah Stevie, I’m fine. Everything is good.” Twisting your fingers is helping you stay distracted from looking up at him.

“Really? If everything is good and you are completely fine, then tell me, Y/N – tell me why you have been distancing yourself from me for the past two months?” he demands, turning your head to face him.

You feel your body stiffen and you look at him with wide-eyes. “Don’t you lie to me, Y/N. I want the truth of why you have been hiding away in this room lately. Did someone on the team do something to hurt you? Tell me, doll, please.” The pleading in his voice – in his eyes – pierces your heart little by little and you know you can’t hurt him like this. If giving him a reason will ease his worries, then it’s what you will do.

“Steve – Grant, being around all you couples makes me feel… different. I’m not myself when I’m hanging around with you guys. I am a lonely wheel trying to keep up with a diesel going down the highway. So, I decided to give you all time to be together without feeling sorry for me being the lonely wheel.” you answer honestly.

It looks as if he realizes something while you are talking – like he is understanding your unsaid words. Smiling softly at him you mumble out, “You can go ahead back to your date with Sharon and the rest of the couples. I’m just gonna go get a glass of water and then have an early night, okay? Go, have fun Stevie, m’fine – promise.” Moving out from under the blankets you halt dead in your tracks when he practically sprints past you to your closet.

You stay frozen in place for a few minutes before you find a sliver of your voice and cautiously call out, “Grant? What the hell are you doing in my closet? You are supposed to be leaving.”

Hearing a grunt, you take a step forward to glance inside but stop again when you hear him stomping to the closet door. He holds out a dress to you while grumbling out, “You really need to clean out your closet, winter coats don’t need to go by your evening dresses. I knocked some things off hangers but we will fix that later.”

“Steven Grant, who the hell do you think you are going through a woman’s closet?!” You smack his hand that’s holding the dress he chose. “There isn’t a reason to put that on because I’m not going anywhere!” Your voice crisp as you cross your arms over your chest.

Steve frowns at you and the small almost unnoticeable furrow in his brow lets you know he is slightly confused on something you said or did. Watching him closely, you notice when he scans your body from head to toe – like he’s trying to figure out what’s made you act like this towards him. He scans your body at least three times before you see his eyes light up and he’s laying the dress down over the back of a chair.

Shrugging, Steve casually sits back on your bed and begins to toe off his shoes. “Fine,” he said airily, “If you don’t want to go to the dinner with everyone, Y/N, then I’m not going either. I’m going to stay here with you.”

You open and close your mouth – with no sounds coming out – for what feels like years before finally finding your voice again. “You aren’t going to skip dinner with your girlfriend Steve, stop joking around and go before they eat without you. I told you m’fine, Grant. Go, have fun!” Grabbing the dress, you move to place back in your closet when you hear Steve snicker for a second before he tries to cover it up. Turning back, slowly – you raise an eyebrow, “Something funny, Grant?” you question haughtily.

“No Y/N,” he lets another snicker slip through his lips again and slaps a hand over his mouth before any more can come out. “Not really. Just the fact that you think Sharon is my girlfriend. Which she isn’t – by the way. She’s just a friend, doll.” Steve lets his snickers die on his tongue when something clicks in his head. “Is that why you put the distance between us? Because you thought I was dating Peggy’s niece? Honestly, Y/N? That’s why all this happened?”

Completely at a loss for words, you just nod your head slowly.

“Doll, I’m not dating Sharon. The team and I have been spending more time with her these past couple month because she helped a lot of us and now, she’s leaving.” Steve states gently.

Wide-eyes staring up at the bright blue super soldiers – you breathe out, “What do you mean she’s leaving?” Still not grasping fully what he’s said you begin to frantically mumble, “She can’t leave. You guys are dating, that would be hard on your relationship. How would you go on dates? Or give her gifts? Or-.”

A finger is gently placed over your mouth to stop your rambling and Steve is smiling down at you. “There is no need for all that, Y/N. I’m not dating Sharon, there’s no relationship – we are just friends.” He shrugs and moves his hand to cup your neck. “But there is a gal. She is better than Natasha at fighting, she can definitely out-shoot Clint and Bucky in anything. She may not be stronger than Hulk, but she can match his strength and she has the brains to challenge both Bruce and Tony. My gal can out run me any day of the week without breaking a sweat and she can keep up with everyone on the witty comments, she’s almost as good as Sam.”

As you listen to him go on and on about this other girl – you realize you’ve heard all these things before. Everything this star-spangled doofus is saying has been said to you – or about you – by the team. But even then, you still can’t understand what he’s saying.

You pick your head up when you feel him flex his fingers on the side of your neck and he softly whispers, “You’re goin’ to miss the best part doll if you keep blanking out on me.” He moves his hand to cup your cheek and leans his mouth closer to your ear. “She was the first agent I actually trusted full-stop and I’ve been in love with her since she was willingly picking peonies out of a field that had honeybee’s inside because they ‘smelled sweeter than the others.’”

“Steven Grant Rogers, stop it. You stop talking right now. This doesn’t make sense!” You hope your voice would sound as confident and intense, but it came out croaky instead.

He ignores your little outburst and continues whispering in your ear, “You want me to tell you her name, or have you figured it out yet?” Steve pulls his head back to look directly in your eyes and gives you the smile you adore – patiently waiting for you to catch up with all he’s said.

“You – Grant, you can’t – what?”

Nodding his head, still holding your eyes and heart captive with his gaze he breathes out, “Her name is Y/N Y/L/N, she is my best gal, and I’ve been in love with you for a while now doll.” Steve pauses – for dramatic effect or to let it sink in for a moment – then leans down to softly brush his lips against yours. Leaning his head against yours, he lets out a relieved breath when you pull away only to wrap your arms tightly around his neck while muttering, “I’m going to kill Tasha if she told you about my feelings for you.”

Wrapping his arms around your waist he chuckles lowly and shakes his head. “She may have mentioned something, doll, but you just confirmed those feelings just now.” Steve walks back and sits on the edge of the bed pulling you into his lap – smiling cheekily at you. “It’s been only you for me, doll. Since the beginning, it’s always been you.”

By the time the rest of the team comes back, you and Steve are laying together in the movie room having your first official date. Nat peaks in and smirks when she sees you curled up in his lap. Smirking she closes the door and starts the trek to her room while muttering, “Now that is how you put two idiots out of their misery of pining.”

#starspangledbingo #chelseaswritingchallenge #steve rogers x reader #Steve Rogers #steve x you #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fluff #mutual pining #steve fluff #steve rogers x you #steve fanfiction #captain america #natasha romanoff #marvel fics #rae writes

324 notes · View notes

wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 6 years

Text

Ready Player One review

People who say “The book is always better than the movie!” tend to be foolish people who view literature as an inherently flawless medium incapable of doing wrong. To say that, you need to ignore literature that is objectively better than the source material to the point even the authors prefer it, such as Fight Club, Jaws, and Who Framed Roger Rabbit, or films that greatly improved the work they’re adapting by trimming the fat, such as V for Vendetta and (oh boy I’m probably gonna get shit for this) The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Today’s film is one such film in the latter category, directed by a man behind one of the films mentioned in the former category, a film no one except me thought would be as good as it is: Ready Player One.

The book is easily one of the most contentious novels I’ve ever seen, a truly “love it or hate it” affair. I liked the novel; I read it when I was going through a really rough time back in 2012 or so, and a lot of its themes resonated with me. It’s a cheesy, charming book that unfortunately has a few really cringey bits of writing in it and unfortunately due to its medium spends a lot of time explaining references you wouldn’t see otherwise. I’d put the book on the same level as Eragon; it’s cheesy and has some dumb writing here and there, but overall it’s enjoyable. But even I realized a film could help trim a lot of the fat of this novel and polish it into something grand, and when I heard Spielberg was at the helm I slept a lot easier, figuring that would be the case.

And it was. This movie is a lot better than the book in most regards. But let’s look at the plot first:

In the year 2045, in a world where things seem bleak and joyless, people turn to the virtual reality world of the OASIS, where they can be anyone or anything they want. Its creator, a man named Halliday, created a contest for all the people of the OASIS to take part in after he died, in which the goal was to find the ultimate Easter Egg. Whoever found the three keys and then the Easter Egg would become rich, powerful, and most importantly they would own the OASIS. Wade Watts, known in the OASIS as Parzival, is an average guy who eventually stumbles across the answer of how to get the first key. But he’s not the only person gunning after the prize; the corporation IOI and its douchey head honcho Nolan Sorrento are after total control so they can spam ads and basically make the place a microtransaction nightmare. Can Wade, with the help of his best pal Aech, his love interest Art3mis, and his buddies Daito and Sho manage to stop IOI or is this end of line for the users?

WARNING: THERE’S GONNA BE SPOILERS BELOW.

So I’m gonna go over some of the things I didn’t like in the adaptation first, which honestly mostly amount to nitpicks. The diminished importance of Rush is a bit sad, though it’s kind of understandable since all of the challenges were streamlined and simplified for the movie. That doesn’t suck as much to me as the complete cutting of the Ladyhawke segment, as this book is what introduced me to that movie and I was hoping to see some reference to it. Changing up Aech the way they did kind of diminishes the impact of her reveal, and speaking of which, a lot of characters and backstory are glossed over or ignored, most egregiously Ogden Morrow. The book went into a bit more detail into Morrow, co-creator of the OASIS, and Halliday’s relationship, but in the film Morrow is seemingly shunted aside for much of the film. I don’t think any of this really ruins the film per se, but it certainly makes it a different beast from the book.

Now, time to sing the praises of this film: the visuals are stunning. The OASIS is a major focus of the movie, as it should be, and we get to see so many creative visuals and ideas take place, as well as insane amounts of crossover characters. You’d need to freeze frame every single crowd shot to catch them all; just watching it as I did I saw Duke Nukem, Jason Voorhees, the Battletoads, Hello Kitty, Harley Quinn, the Joker, Batman, and more among the crowds. It’s a lot like Wreck-It Ralph in that regard. Frankly, I kind of wish the entire film was just in the OASIS, because all of it is just so fascinating and fun and visually appealing… special props need to go to the extended trip into The Shining, which was recreated with eerie accuracy up until the parts where things go off the rails. I think this movie may be Spielberg’s greatest achievement visually speaking.

The parts of the film that take place in the real world aren’t nearly as good, but I don’t think they were necessarily bad either. They definitely had their good moments, and they certainly helped progress the plot forward as well as being important to the film’s overall message of “Don’t ignore reality in favor of escapism, because reality is where what’s most important really is.” And a good message that is, especially in today’s day and age. Still, some of the acting in the real world can be wonky, mostly whenever Wade is having romantic moments with Samantha AKA Art3mis. They do get better as the film progresses, but their romance arc in this movie is easily a weak point with how rushed and awkward it is. Guess Ernest Cline’s co-writing credit is really shining through there.

Our main characters themselves are all fairly well done, in OASIS and outside of it, though again, Wade and Samantha’s relationship in reality is a bit awkwardly written, and it’s not much better in the OASIS though there’s some more cool visuals to help you stomach things, but overall those two are enjoyable protagonists. Aech is still as cool as ever, though I am a bit disappointed they changed her character so much it made the impact of learning she’s a black lesbian (the latter fact is there but glossed over) a lot less impactful, as instead of her avatar being a white dude, it’s a hulking cyborg ogre. Still, I can’t deny Aech is still as cool as ever. Daito and Sho are also cool and have their roles expanded a bit from the book. Better yet, Daito does not get killed, so no awkward seppuku references that will make you cringe!

The villains are pretty cool too. First up is the OASIS insider I-R0k, played by T.J. Miller in his first act of penance for The Emoji Movie. It’s so fucking funny seeing this hulking, menacing death lord with skulls and shit all over him talk in the most nerdy voice imaginable. Still, he manages to shockingly be a menacing and capable threat, unlike his lame book counterpart. Then w e have the new villainess, F’Nale Zandor, a new character created for the film who serves as big bad Nolan Sorrento’s right-hand woman, acting out his evil schemes in the real world. She’s pretty cool and badass, and plays her role well enough; she’s sort of like a low-tier Bond henchman. Then we have Nolan himself, and while he is a stereotypical 80s corporate villain – a fact that even he lampshades – it’s hard not to appreciate a villain whose online avatar looks like Senator Armstrong and who calls forth Mechagodzilla as his ride in the final battle.

Speaking of the final battle, it is absolutely epic, but there has been a bit of contention due to the inclusion of the Iron Giant, and how it somehow goes against the non-violent themes of his titular movie. Well, you can rest easy in knowing that it’s just a giant mecha being piloted by Aech, and mostly what it’s doing is protecting everyone else from Mechagodzilla. The Iron Giant vs. Mechagodzilla is the greatest matchup I never knew I wanted.

Spielberg managed to do exactly what I expected him to do: he distilled everything that was good about the book, filtered out what didn’t work, and made a fun movie out of it. I can’t really justify totally calling this a style over substance film like I could with Batman v Superman or Miss Peregrine’s, because there actually is enough substance here to be serviceable and it has a very good message about the dangers of escapism and how allowing corporations to take away the neutrality of things is bad, but it’s definitely a movie you’re gonna wanna see for all the visuals more than anything. It’s a lot like Doctor Strange in that regard.

This is a great movie. Yes, great. If you love some really fucking cool visuals and can handle tons of cheese, this is the film for you. Honestly, it’s weird, but I’d really recommend this to everyone who disliked the book; you may find in a lot of ways that this is the book done RIGHT. As for people who love the book, this may be very much a love or hate affair; me, I loved it. I honestly can’t wait to watch it again and see what other secrets and cameos I pick up on, and just to bask in the glorious visuals of the OASIS. Leave it to Spielberg to polish something like Ernest Cline’s writing and produce a diamond, or at least a gemstone of significant value. It’s not a perfect film at all, but it IS a fun, enjoyable, and exciting one… kinda like a lot of the 80s films that inspired it.

#Review #movie review #Ready Player One #RPO #Steven Spielberg #Ernest Cline #VR #Virtual reality #OASIS #80s #sci-fi #action #adventure

117 notes · View notes

lovelyirony · 7 years

Text

Let’s go study and have coffee and stare at each other

@needshisarrows had this brilliant idea where sharon and steve constantly get “sexiled” bc natasha and bucky are in love and stuff and I DIDN’T SEE THE NOTIFICATION THAT I COULD WRITE IT FOR THEM I’M SORRY BUT NOW IT IS HERE

Presenting: The Roommate Edition

Steve was really tired of Bucky hanging the stupid tie on the door and hearing furniture crash. (Natasha was heartless about furniture, but still held a grudge about him almost breaking her hairbrush.) Usually, he was fine with it. But both Bucky and Natasha were going at it like rabbits, and they had no thoughts on what others had wanted to do that night. Steve wanted to get his laptop to get his report on World War II and probably look at old dog videos. But that wasn’t going to happen.

“Did Natasha...?” There’s an ominous crash and a curse of “oh hell no,” when Steve turns around to see Natasha’s roommate Sharon. Steve winces.

“I wanted my laptop,” Steve explains awkwardly.

“I was going to get my jacket back,” Sharon says with a frown. “Guess I’ll need dry-cleaning.” Steve gives off a laugh, before it falls to an awkward tension. Steve is never quite sure how to act around her; she’s so...cool. He still feels like the awkward little guy who has never once been looked at. Sharon is the girl who you feel out of your depth with. But she’s funny, and she laughed at his lame attempt at an art joke. (It was about a Rembrandt piece, and it was terrible.)

“So...guess we’re both out of luck tonight,” Steve says.

“Well, I have my laptop at my place, if you wanna come over and work on homework or something,” Sharon says. “I know that Mr. Erskine’s deadline is soon, and it sucks to not have anything done in advance.” Steve’s heart skips a beat.

“Really? You mean it?” He asks. “I, uh, don’t want to intrude...”

There’s a thump on the wall and a loud moan. Sharon winces.

“Why don’t we get going? And no, I don’t mind. I do have a Pandora playlist on though, and you can’t change it. I’m working on planning out a presentation for my forensics class, and that’s the only music I can listen to that I concentrate on.”

“What kind of music?”

“Classical violin. Nothing special.”

“Violin’s cool,” Steve offers. God, he’s absolutely terrible at conversation. He should just never talk again.

“Let’s get going,” Sharon says. “Follow me.”

Sharon’s room is neat and organized, unlike Bucky’s absolute mess. (It is none of Steve’s.) She talks about how her forensics teacher is dumb, and she’s looking forward to Christmas break so she can try out a new burger restaurant that opened up near her cousin’s business.

“What’s the burger joint called?” Steve asks.

“Press the Grill, it sounds interesting,” Sharon says. “Aunt Peggy tried it, and she said their garlic fries are to die for. You wanna see my notebook?” Steve nods. Honestly, he’d take any chance to see a burger chart. No girl he’s ever talked with has had such a passionate, weird interest. (Natasha’s interest in getting away with murder, hypothetically, does not count.)

Sharon points out her favorites, and how number one does not have a place yet. “I’m waiting for the absolute best,” Sharon says seriously. “It has to have the right ratio of cheese, other ingredients, and meat. Their fries also have to balance. I thought of doing a beer with it, but I figured that there are so many states that offer different beer.” Steve nods solemnly. Honestly, he has no idea about the beer.

They get no work done. Steve keeps her in stitches about Bucky in his teen years. How one time, Bucky tried to climb a fence to get away with vandalism and his engraved watch got on the fence and he tried to say that it was Steve’s.

“Oh my god,” Sharon said. “So much leverage. So much. Let me tell you about this one time my friend Maria...”

It goes on like that until Natasha comes back around one, hair disheveled and eyes staring at the two. “When did Rogers get here?” She asks. “I thought you would crash at Clint’s or something.”

“The day I willingly stay at Clint’s apartment is the day I have to hide from the government,” Steve says seriously. Sharon snorts, rubbing sleep out of her eyes. “I better get going, Sharon. Hope to talk to you soon.”

“Wait! I need your contacts!” Sharon says. She lazily waves around her phone, unlocked. “For you.” Steve manages to add her on snapchat, request a follow on instagram, and input his number. He notices that she has a cute background of a burger as her background. Steve laughs as he hands it back.

The next time, Sharon comes to his door armed with snacks and popcorn. “Okay, Bucky and Natasha barged in,” she says. “can I crash here? Natasha said Bucky won’t be leaving.” Steve nods. He feels bad that he hasn’t dressed up any; he’s in his favorite pair of sweatpants and an old shirt that shouldn’t fit him. Then again, Sharon is in leggings and an old shirt. She shouldn’t look so criminally good.

Sharon ends up raiding the fridge for drinks as Steve queues up Netflix. They watch Criminal Minds together and try to guess what the motive is before the team can. Most of the time, Sharon wins, but Steve has some good guesses.

“thanks for letting me crash here,” Sharon says with a yawn. “Mind if I sleep here?” Steve says no, of course not. It’s awkward because Bucky’s bed is absolute trash, and Steve isn’t going to let Sharon sleep on the floor.

“Here, sleep in my bed,” Steve says. “I’ll work on...that one.”

“No,” Sharon says. “Bucky’s bed is literally trash. I’m pretty sure there’s a stale bag of Cheetos that spilled on it. Here, you sleep on the bed, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“I’m not letting you sleep on the couch.”

“That’s too damned bad.”

“I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“You’re a giant, no you aren’t.”

“yes I am.” They step closer together, and Steve is acutely aware that she smells super good and wow, what conditioner is that.

“Fine,” Sharon says. “Then we’ll share the bed. It’s not like it’s a twin, you ordered a Queen. Two people fit comfortably.”

“Nope,” Steve answers.

“What? You aren’t comfortable with it?” Steve knows that Sharon knows that he will literally do anything once people say that he can’t. (Refer to: punching an annoying guy at a restaurant because bucky said he wouldn’t.) He also knows that the idea is not uncomfortable to him, but he doesn’t want to make things incredibly a w k w a r d.

“I am, are you?” Steve challenges.

“Hell yeah,” Sharon says. “Let’s get to bed, Steve.” Steve does not want to admit that he wishes that they were going to bed as a together couple. But he doesn’t admit that.

Bed is comfy. Sharon is a terrible sleeping partner; she pushes her freezing feet on his back, complaining that he’s a natural heater. “Should’ve gotten here sooner,” she says in a teasing manner. He’s half-asleep.

Sharon thinks she hears the response of “me too,” but he’s asleep before she can question him.

Sharon wakes up to Bucky looming over them with his phone poised on them.

“Aw, you nerds finally got together,” Bucky teases.

“No,” Sharon argues. “It’s because your bed has crap on it. Where do you and Nat even do the do?”

“Can you not say sex?”

“I can, but it makes both of you uncomfortable when I don’t refer to it by its common name, and that’s hilarious. Where?”

“Anywhere,” Bucky teases. “Don’t worry, I clean the walls.” Steve makes a noise of disgust, but he’s still asleep. He turns over, looking adorable. His arm moves to go under Sharon’s neck. She pushes it away.

“Move over, nerd,” she says.

“Nah,” Steve responds. He wakes up, eyes blinking steadily. His voice is gruff. (It’s totally attractive.)

“Hey, I’m leaving,” Sharon says. “Bye Steve-o, see ya later.” He waves, and turns around to avoid Bucky’s look. Sharon spots it.

“So...you and Sharon Carter? Match made in stubborn heaven.”

“Bucky, you refused to pay your water bill for two months because you thought the price was jacked up.”

“True,” Bucky says with a shrug.

Sharon and Steve start hanging out even when they’re not being sexiled, eventually. Steve knows that she wants to see that new movie called Atomic Blonde, and so he buys movie tickets and she buys the treats. “I snuck some in my purse too,” Sharon says. “You want pull n’ peel Twizzlers or skittles?” Steve chooses the Twizzlers.

Sharon asks him for coffee, because she’s bored and Natasha is having an argument with Bruce over hypothetically killing someone. they laugh and buy a huge coffee that they’ve both wanted to try but never have. It ends up being terrible, but they laugh so hard they cry when a guy comes in and asks when the pigeon begins work. (Long story.)

And one day, they get revenge. For all the times they couldn’t get their stuff before, for all the times Natasha or Bucky made a snide comment.

Bucky comes back with Natasha to find a tie already hanging off a door. Bucky grins, before seeing the sign on the door, obviously written by Sharon.

“Sexiled ;)))))”

#this was way longer than intended #but i love the dynamic????#sharon and steve are so cute #so are bucky and natasha #needshisarrows i'm sorry i didn't see this sooner #otherwise i would've written it weeks ago

29 notes · View notes

ciathyzareposts · 5 years

Text

Curse of Enchantia – 20000 Leagues Under Quality Game Design

Written by Alfred n the Fettuc

One of the greatest things about The Adventure Gamer blog is that we have the opportunity to find out exactly how good the games we didn’t play back in the day actually are. Sure, it’s always great to read more about Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis or Monkey Island, but it’s the unknown games that really get my attention. Sometimes you can find a diamond in the rough, some unknown great game. For example, it’s thanks to this game that I finally got around to play Gateway and I don’t regret one second of it, it was a great game! Sometimes, time has just forgotten excellent games that you never took the time to actually play.

And sometimes not. Sometimes games are forgotten because they are utterly horrible garbage.

Please tell me you’ve come to release me of my misery

I don’t think a game has ever managed to piss me off so strong so fast. I’ve barely sunk an hour into it and it’s already shown me the a nice selection of cardinal sins of game design. This game got it all : stupid puzzles, interface nightmare, grating music… and I think I barely scraped the surface of it all… my dear friends, I think it’s going to be a long walk in the dark.

But first things first : Let’s start at the beginning. Last time we left our beloved hero, he was shackled upside down to a cell wall by his feet. My only hope is that the hero is actually delirious from the blood gushing into his head and he would wake up eventually into a video game design company and after shattering the fourth wall, the game would become good… Not a chance? Maybe not, but it would make a great premise for an adventure game, wouldn’t it?

So, let’s first talk a little bit about the interface. I think if you look widely at 2D adventure game interfaces circa 1992, we have three main examples of successful interfaces. First we have the “verb and object” SCUMM system of Lucasarts, which in my mind is the most well known interface at the time. Created for Maniac Mansion and perfected with each iteration of Lucasarts games (removing the excess verbs), it gives you freedom to do whatever you think of without guiding you too much. The other example is the Sierra interface (post-parser) where you choose an icon (take, talk, use…) and point at something on the screen. Add to that specific icons depending on the game series (I’m thinking about the tongue in Space Quest or the zipper in Leisure Suit Larry) and you have another perfect interface giving you freedom and letting the developers go wild with anticipation on your nonsensical attempts at trying anything on anything. The third one is obviously the simple “point, click and something happens”. It started with Gobliiins or Legend of Kyrandia (or anything more obscure) and would become the mainstream interface of modern adventure games. Less interactivity but much more simple. You just click on things and see something happen.

Now a little pop quiz : what’s the common thing between these three interfaces? Watch out, the answer is going to be a hard one : You point and you click. This is why our beloved genre is often referred to as “point and clicks”. It’s because you point your mouse at something and you click. You would think it’s the only logical way of playing a graphical adventure game, wouldn’t you? Well you’d be wrong. Here, things are a little different.

The first menu (wait until you see the submenu detailing all the different “use” commands)

Clicking the right mouse button brings up a menu. Here you find several actions. From left to right : inventory, take, use, look at, talk, fight and… I don’t know… jump I guess. Or cheer. We’ll see. The three last are save/load, sound options and credits/percentage completed/points (yes there is a points system but we’ll address this later as soon as I understand exactly what you have to do to gain points, which is still a little unclear for now). Until that, so far so good, right? But you can’t take an icon, let’s say the eye and look at your shackles. Not here. Here, when you click on an icon, it brings you to a submenu with what’s surrounding you. And then you can interact.

e.g. : The shackles

At no time can you move your pointer out of this menu and click directly on the screen. It seems not so bad when told like that, but you have a few other things going. When you click on something that does nothing, you get a simple thumb down. The look option only serves as a matter to see what’s around you considering there is no description whatsoever. And the worst comes when you’re pretty sure you could interact with something but you can’t (for example : the torch) or the other way around, where you can interact with something you never would have noticed (for example : the wall on the right beneath the water pool. No, I didn’t see anything special about it but the interface allows you to interact with it, so it must be special in some way).

And now, my personal favorite : the submenu when you try to “use” stuff

And then when you can interact with something, you have the “use” submenu, which is baffling to say the least. You have, from left to right, the options to : use a key in a lock, use a keycard in a slot (or let’s say putting anything in anything), pushing/pulling something, eating something, wearing something, throwing something, pulling? Or opening a drawer? And putting lego bricks onto each other. Okay, I admit my defeat, it’s time to open the manual. Turns out I’m right about most of these icons, except the second one (“insert”… yeah different icon than “unlock”), the seventh one which is “give”, and the last one which is “tie/attach”. I’m a bit bummed out there is no actual lego brick involved.

Finally, and then I’ll stop rambling about the interface because I feel a lot of you have already stopped reading, there is the “talk” option which only gives you two possibilities : Hi and Help. Turns out it’s also the solution to the first puzzle because you have to yell “help” for the guard to enter and yell “SHUT UP” (in a way that I’m kinda surprised it’s never been done into a meme) before exiting the cell and dropping the key by accident.

My guess is that the guard’s voice was done at the end of beta-testing by a guy who was listening at the music for a month too long.

The guard’s animation is pretty funny, though. You can get a glimpse of the key flying off on the left of the shackles.

So, let’s get going. I hungrily grab the key and free myself of the shackles with the “unlock” function (yeah I’ve tried, the “insert” function gives you the thumb down). Then, going through the cell highlights the right wall as usable so I push it to discover… a paper clip! (which I guess, must have time/space-traveled from the same place I did) What do you do with paper clips, boys? You unlock doors with them! Thank god Brad appears to be a typical teenager with unlocking/thievery skills as they all are.

Thumbs up, Brad! You can now go break into the principal’s office!

Exiting the cell, you enter a long corridor with some kind of weird one-legged monster jumping around, a locked door and a fishbowl. I knew from a first attempt at playing the game that you absolutely need the fishbowl in the third place you visit, so I tried going on without taking it… turns out the monster doesn’t let you pass! On one hand it’s always irritating to see two completely unrelated elements moving on the plot (the monsters leaves his spot because I take the fishbowl) but on the other hand, it seems this game doesn’t allow dead-ends! Thank you Almighty adventure games gods!

Anyway, another weird thing about this game starts in this corridor : you have obvious dangers for your health that you can try to avoid (said monster for example, chases you with an axe, and giant knight statues try to crush you with their weapons) but it doesn’t seems there is any consequence for getting crushed several times in a row. You still can’t die, maybe points are being subtracted from my total but it doesn’t seem to be the case. Add to this the fact that the corridor is full of gems and gold coins to collect for nothing else than added points and the whole thing seems like a very slow and pointless action-ish sequence. I go to the other end of the corridor trying to avoid the weapons of the knights and grabbing as much loot as I can, just in case it shows any use later on.

This is where I use my famous Latin skills and compliment the use of comic book onomatopoeia.

The other end of the corridor holds a door that opens on emptiness, Roger Rabbit style. Brad hovers a bit mid-air, then looks at the camera and shows a “HELP” sign before plunging into the waters below. For now I have to say that the cartoon slapstick comedy kinda works so let’s hope it keeps going.

Fifty years after The Road Runner show and it’s still funny.

Brad then finds himself underwater, which is the famous scene I was never able to pass as a kid. He starts turning blue immediately but wearing the fish bowl on his head makes him breathe underwater (don’t try this at home, kids!) I didn’t have the patience to wait ten minutes in order to see if he could beat Guybrush Threepwood in a snorkeling contest.

The fact that I don’t have anything in my pockets doesn’t really explain why I sunk directly at the bottom of the ocean though… it must be a really heavy fishbowl.

I proceed to free the fish from its trap because that’s what an nice adventurer would do and I explore my surroundings. I find a suspicious patch of dirt and burrow through it to find… an earthworm! Score! At this time the freed fish comes back to me and gives me a seashell. I’m reassured. I thought this action would remain altruistic and unrewarded! This is not the adventurer’s way.

Thumbs up Brad! You now have an earthworm in your pockets!

A few more steps to the left and I find some kind of shop (including neon signs and all) that seem to sell an oxygen tank. Saying “Hi” to the shopkeeper shows that he wants an earthworm for it. So far so good. I give him the worm and… the shopkeeper swims away with the tank! What? Have I been conned?

So long and thank you for all the worms.

I’m sure that if I don’t give the shopkeeper the worm, something completely unrelated would block my progress later in the same area but I really don’t get what happened here… Anyway. I keep going and find myself in front of a nest of electrical eels with a big turtle hovering near them. My first try is to use the “jump” option on the turtle but despite a few tries, it doesn’t work. I then try to give the turtle the seashell and it works!

To infinity and beyond!

The next obstacle on this VERY linear path is a huge shark coming from the west and pushing me away. I try a few things, including fighting it with the paperclip but to no avail. I try to look around a bit more which is pretty fast considering there is not much space to scan between the eels and the shark and I find a… weapon of sort… I want to say a flail? In a very obvious spot that doesn’t bode well for pixel hunting later in the game.

Yep. Obvious.

I use it to fight the shark (which requires a few tries considering you have to use the “fight” option at a very precise moment when the shark charges you) and the shark is electrified!

So I guess it’s more a taser than a flail… my bad.

A few more steps and… you know it… another obstacle! This time it’s a huge oyster blocking the way. I try to put the taser in its mouth. But no, this time you have to jump over it. And if you’re unlucky enough to choose the “jump” option when the mouth of the oyster is open, it simply doesn’t work. Your timing has to be right for it to work.

Another problem solved!

Finishing this long path, I find myself in front of a huge bathtub plug. I can unplug it with my flail/taser/stick and I’m sucked into a cave. Ready for more adventuring!

Pictured : the lack of common sense and self-preservation of the average adventure game protagonist.

And with that I think it’s a good place to stop. Sorry about the short gaming time but I feel like my explanation of the interface already made this post way longer than expected. A last piece of rambling before you go… The underwater section is obviously made as a tutorial of sorts. You take a few steps, are in front of a problem and are usually handed the solution pretty easily. However, little Alfred never managed to get through this section. Maybe little Alfred wasn’t too bright, which is a distinct possibility. However, my guess is that the game doesn’t do a good enough job to give you incentive to keep going and that little Alfred’s tastes were already honed by games like Monkey Island or Space Quest to not see the trainwreck of game design this game so blatantly is.

In these two short sections, we’ve already seen nonsensical scoring options, avoiding unnecessary dangers that don��t do anything, one incomprehensible reaction from a NPC (the fish getting away with the tank I thought I just bought), pixel hunting, timing issues with the shark and the oyster, same grating music loop again and again… If these sections were supposed to show you a panel of what the game will have to offer you, I think we’re in for a good time!

Finally taking my revenge on the underwater section after 25 years!

Anyway, see you next time, folks! And I promise more adventuring, less rambling!

Session time : 45 minutes Total time : 45 minutes

Inventory : Paperclip Score : 54 Percentage complete : 11%

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/curse-of-enchantia-20000-leagues-under-quality-game-design/

#retro games #dos games #retro #crpg #adventure #amiga #oldcomputers #8bit #16bit #blog #repost

0 notes