#he has grown mentally wise indeed

[fairytalk]

Team Natsu

Natsu dragneel-The team leader and optimistic character of the group. Fire user

good qualities- Natsu Always tries to defend his family when he believes something is unjustified. And often times is there to be the uplifting presence when the people around him loose hope. His admirable trait is that his strength stems from his loyalty to his family and friends.

bad qualities-He goes into situations recklessly without thinking them through first. He is hare-brained about his emotional feelings towards the people he has become closest to and refuses to acknowledge that he may have caused distress. He breaks personal boundaries with his teammate Lucy heartfilia by breaking into her house and touching her body inappropriately without her permission. He has little mental character growth from what we have seen of him from the beginning of the series.

Happy- charismatic counterpart to Natsu and the group. Exceed

good qualities- He is thoughtful and makes good decision a decent amount of the time. He’s aesthetically pleasing to look at. bad qualities- lets be honest he’s a talking flying cat so the most bad he has done is stole some fish or break into lucys apartment with Natsu. besides that I almost didn’t want to add him because he is nearly irrelevant to the development of the series and mostly there as a companion to Natsu.

Erza scarlet-The mother figure / strong physical character of the group. Requip mage

Good qualities- Erza can be a really wise character when talking about her experiences, weather it be with friends or even enemies. She is able to quickly recognize what her next plan of action is. She is open about her feelings on matters during tense situations. She’s always there to offer comfort or advice.

bad qualities- To confident in the power of friendship always pulling through. When she apologizes it’s either too genuine or not genuine enough. I.e when Miliana was upset with her for forgiving Jellal so easily, she didn’t really take any of that to heart and has had a hard time showing her authentic understanding that she did something wrong that has effected her relationship with both people. This sort of happens again during the avatar arc when she offers Gray the position to go undercover in a cult. She tells him not to tell juvia, not thinking that it would screw up her state of emotions. It indeed did and when it was all over she apologized in a half insensitive tone as if she wasn’t all that guilty and would do it again if given the chance. She forgave Jellal to quickly because even though he was mind controlled by Ultear, it doesn’t change all the horrible things he has done to her and her friends. Some character growth but she has blatant issues that are not resolved.

Lucy heartfilia - The book smart / persistent main character of the group. Celestial mage

good qualities- Relatively known for being friendly and forgiving. She doesn’t back down in extensive situations even when her life is on the line. She cares a lot for her celestial spirits and if you come to her with an issue, she is open to talk about it. She’s useful in problem solving even if it falls through a little bit the first time, she masters it pretty quickly afterwards. She’s got extensive knowledge in literature and calligraphy. Power wise she has grown immensely, mentally, she is a wip but she definitely isn’t the same person from the beginning of the series. bad qualities-Thinks to little of her abilities as a mage but then contradicts herself by flaunting her powers to her enemy. Is a bit like erza in that she is ignorant to feelings sometimes i.e she was upset that natsu had left her behind with just a note, but she mostly thought about her losses and didn’t take into account that he had also lost his dad. In turn his runaway quest caused her to isolate herself from the rest of the guild. Keeping track of them only through letters, which she eventually stopped sending because everyone was doing different things. But her insecurities because of the note must of kept her from joining the rest, otherwise she wouldn’t be in a lonesome grieving state. Not that what Natsu did was right but she was definitely blaming him for all of there shared issues. Not to mention when she saw Juvia in a similar depression state she didn’t reflect on it as being similar to her own. When in reality they were both left behind in a different context but shared the same grief. I didn’t appreciate that Lucy didn’t defend Juvia during this time. It was brought back to just her and her friendship with Gray (she slapped him but it wasn’t for juvia.) She never mentioned Juvia at all In that situation even after she had seen the state she was in and knew Juvia had been sick because of it. Why couldn’t she have told him off just like natsu?. Infact she got all blushy when he apologized, it felt selfish. (Further proving that Mashimas statement about writing female characters bad was certainly true. It should also imply male characters as well.)

Wendy marvel - The young healing mage/ younger sister of the group. Air user

Good qualities- Wendy is really useful in dire situations and easily makes amends with a few of her past enemies. She is empathetic and has gained quite a bit of character growth unlike many of the other characters in fairy tail. Once she was timid and felt not useful but now she has some confidence from her experience in battle. She still has a little bit of doubts but she gets back her confidence with a little help from her friends.

bad qualities-She doesn’t really have bad qualities. But in a future post I will talk about her being a child and Mashima really being incredibly gross about it. (Yes she’s over 500 years old but he presents her still as if she is much much younger.)

Carla- The attentive counterpart to Wendy.Exceed

good qualities- she takes up for Wendy that’s it that’s the good qualities.

bad qualities-Grumpy and rude for what. Actually I get it a little bit. But she’s right in that category next to happy.

Gray fullbuster - The quick learning visual expressionist of the group. Ice make mage.

good qualities- Has strong relationships with a lot of people I.e Lyon, Erza, plus team natsu. Reliable, if you ask him to do something, he will try his hardest to get it done. Stays ‘cool’ in most situations. I need help with filling out the rest of his good traits, he’s got to have more*** help.

bad qualities-Back to being reliable, it’s a half and half trait being one of his best qualities and one of his worst. You see when he gets to being obsessed with something he will not stop going after it. It started with Deliora or however tf you spell his name, Gray wanted to be great (Gray-t) enough to surpass him for killing his family and also to surpass Ur his former master. Ok so spoiler alert Deliora is dead and melts away along with the iced shell of UR. Gray’s upset and Deliora still continues to haunt his mind until recently where he is forgotten and is comforted by Ur in an illusion state and his father acting as Deliora to get over his fear. This obsession with something new is created when Silver(his father) tells him to go after the book of E.n.d . Turns out Grays thirst for vengeance never went away, and so with his new devil slaying powers from Silver Gray starts obsessing over finding this book that produced Deliora. Of course Gray becomes a bit of a douche bag in this process, he tries to kill Natsu because he finds out his best friend is attached to the book that caused all his suffering that Natsu knew diddle about. He fiddles with Juvia saying he’ll treat her better or that he’ll give her an answer and runs off to try to get better but really is just holding off on his answer. Much like Natsu he was written with musty traits like, sexually harassing Lucy by asking her for her underwear or commenting on her outfits or her underwear. Stalking Lucy to her home, breaking into her house in an undressed state, trying to spy on women in the hot spring, groping an alchemy of Juvia without consent, putting Juvia in his mouth in her state of undress, this list is unnecessarily long. Next to zero character growth because he hasn’t changed any of his behavior. Please get them all therapy especially Gray.

#fairy tail #ft100yq #team natsu #natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia #gray fullbuster #erza scarlet #wendy marvell #jellal fernandes #juvia lockser #rambles

[heisenberg-simp257]

Woop Woop coming in to sprinkle my love on you for all the wonderful writing you did that brightened my sad night you are wonderful.

Now, may i ask for what would make the Lords blush/what would their weakness be regarding another person? Especially Alcina and Heisenberg huhu~ Love ya!

Thank you!! Glad to be of assistance!❤

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Four Lords and Their Weakness Regarding Another Person (What Would Make Them Blush)

Alcina Dimitrescu

-It would be a challenge indeed. Alcina is a woman of high standards, and she likes to believe that she doesn’t have any weaknesses whatsoever. However, every man and woman have something about them that makes them fall under the spell of another person.

-For Alcina, it would be thoughtfulness or surprises. 

-She isn’t much about physical traits or actions, but if you do something or give something to her without her asking, she is blown away. Alcina doesn’t know how to react because she is so grateful.

-Compliments alone are not enough to make her blush. She is aware of what people say about her and it has no effect on her anymore. You would have to be creative with your words.

-This ties in with the thoughtfulness. If you take the time to write her a poem or something, she gets all flustered and stuff, especially if you take even more time to pour some wine and read it to her.

-She herself is a woman whose care only reaches a few people, like her daughters. To have someone who cares a great deal about her as well as others would definitely be her weakness. She needs a person who always has her in mind.

-Alcina isn’t a touch-starved woman, but she appreciates when someone thinks to hug her or hold her hand. She really is just a person who wants to know she is thought of. If you are able to do that, you have her under your thumb.

Donna Beneviento (and Angie)

-Donna is a closed off and reserved person in general. She is rather shy, so getting close enough to talk to her is a challenge in it of itself. But Donna is probably the easiest one to make blush when you get to know her.

-For Donna, it would be flowers.

-All you have to do is bring her a bouquet of flowers and she will melt. If you are lucky enough to catch her without her veil, you will see her face light up in many different shades of pink.

-Angie will also let you in on what are Donna’s favorite flowers and so forth. Hand-picked wildflowers are so much better than some store-bought ones, in Donna’s opinion.

-Her weakness here is receiving a gift of her favorite things. You will find all your bouquets in vases all around her house. If you aren’t careful, the whole place might drown in flowers.

Salvatore Moreau

-Moreau is a simple fishman who just needs something simple in return. He has many weaknesses when it comes to another person who is willing to love him. I mean, he’s probably the easiest lord out of them all in this aspect.

-For Moreau, it’s your attention.

-He really just wants the focus to be on him, and he will absolutely melt. It gets him to blush, it gets him to swoon, and it gets him to be all giddy. Moreau absolutely adores knowing he is your main focus.

-If he doesn’t have your attention, he will try to get it. It may be kind of childish and petty, but Moreau has grown up on the sidelines for far too long and he’s finally found something he absolutely needs and adores; you. 

-Moreau’s weakness is definitely your gaze. Whenever you look at him, he loses his train of thought and gets into simp mode. You have him under your spell with each look, so use this power wisely.

Karl Heisenberg

-This man is made of literal steel. Heisenberg believes himself to be the strongest of all the lords, physically and mentally. However, as stated, everyone has their weaknesses and Heisenberg is no exception. In fact, he’s probably the easiest of all the lords to figure out, but you have to be a very special person.

-For Heisenberg, it’s you.

-He needs to find that special person that just understands him enough to make him melt whenever he sees them. It could be their actions, their looks, or their personality. Heisenberg just needs someone that completes him.

-At that point, anything could make him blush. But he is such a touch-starved man (he won’t admit that) and craves touch above all else. A hand hold, a hug, a kiss, anything could make the man get all flustered.

-I stated that he was the easiest lord to figure out his weakness, but that also makes him the hardest. It may be all of you that gets him weak in the knees, but there is only one of you. Not everyone can get him in that state.

-Also, it may take some time to figure out your power over him. Heisenberg has a strong resolve and walls made of titanium built around him. You will have to be persistent in order to learn how you made his heart flutter and face explode in color.

-Heisenberg knows you are his weakness, but that only makes him stronger. He loves the way you make him feel in your actions and love towards him, and he will protect that at all costs. In the end, this only makes him more powerful.

#resident evil #resident evil imagines #resident evil headcanons #resident evil village #resident evil village imagines #resident evil village headcanons #alcina dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu imagine #alcina dimitriscu x reader #alcina dimitrescu headcanons #donna beneviento #donna beneviento imagine #donna beneviento x reader #donna beneviento headcanons #salvatore moreau #salvatore moreau imagine #salvatore moreau x reader #salvatore moreau headcanons #karl heisenberg #karl heisenberg imagine #karl heisenberg x reader #karl heisenberg headcanons

[thesoldiary]

Back on my pen at twenty four, twenty-twenty three.

It has almost been three years since I sat down in front of the computer screen to let my fingers bleed of words. The feeling’s thrilling but somehow vexing and taunting. Life’s been a tad buzz with twenty twenty one’s on-the-job-training course while witnessing a miracle-in-working healing of grandpa, heading back home in Tondo after being away for four months of health isolation, twenty twenty two’s completion of thesis and defense, shooting for our film finals, and finally walking down the PICC aisle on my black toga and white lace, on my grip was my diploma that reads “A Graduate of Bachelor of Arts in Communication''. Wait, it gets better. In July of the same year, I joined the Dream Team – a whole year of studying music and bible at church and helping out in production and ministry outreach. It was the most rigorous yet remarkable journey I’ve gone through in life so far, and I think it will always hold a special place in my heart for in it I’ve learned not only the intricacies of music theory, aural theory sight and ear, rhythm, and dance, but also to seek God diligently, communicate and listen well, be keen to details, and how to uphold a better version of myself every trimester, every week, every day with my soul anchored in faith and humility. As I near pass the finish line of my dream team year, I must say it is the pinnacle of my early twenties alongside stepping out of college.

I am a work in progress – we all are. However, looking closely at myself, I do tend to overthink a lot. By a lot, I mean a lot – with my brain working overtime in an overdrive. I guess it’s because I wanted to embody perfection even though it’s impossible. I’m twenty four, wow. I can’t believe I’m twenty four. It’s slowly sinking in as I re-kickstart my adulting journey by updating my CV. I was stuck at twenty, where I already knew I am old and supposed to be contributing to the finances of my family, an ever reliable ate that hands away W.O.W (words of wisdom) to everyone younger, and someone who behaves prim and proper – just like what the society expects in a fully-grown woman. I am not young anymore, technically but my grandparents often say that I’ve still got decades ahead of me to enjoy life without slacking my years away. That said, I’m old enough to make wise and mature decisions that’ll surely affect my latter years, and still young to be a worrywart about everything. Twenties is indeed a rollercoaster of learning – and this is not for the faint of heart. So to my fellow twenties warriors, we got this.

Lastly, maybe this thought process has something to do with age as well but lately, I’ve found myself writing my future someone in my prayer list priorities – alongside career, calling, and dream house. Isn't it a little early for that? Better to be praying for him early than late and settle for less, right? I wonder how God reacts everytime I mention to him my “him list”, does he find it funny? The “him list” is not in any way demanding, just a couple of specified bullet points of what I want him to have, parted with negotiables and non-negotiables – e.g for negotiables; it will be great if he’s three years older than me (he doesn’t have to be exactly three years, it’s just my preference but younger? Uhmm, wouldn’t it be weird though? I think it’s weird); Someone who takes good pictures (for memories), and someone who loves to read and write because it’ll be great to be with someone I can mentally grow as well. For the non-negotiables, he should be a man who is gentle, kind, serves God in the ministry, and a man who cooks well because I eat a lot.

Wherever that future someone is, I am always praying he’s healthy and safe. As much as I expect him to be a number of things, I also have my me list so that I can truly be a helper suitable for him. I am praying for a great husband, so why wouldn’t I be a great wife for him? Whether we’ve already crossed paths or we’re still about to, I believe that our foundation should be God – because He loved us so that we can love the people around us, eventually, each other, best. So, no pressure for us. We’ll get to know each other in God’s perfect time.

To wrap up this life catch-up, I’m grateful that no matter how life keeps on throwing me lemons, God always provides for me a blender to make lemonades. I am flawed but not lost. My feet stands on level ground for His counsel gives me a straight-path direction despite the many turns I see. To speak life, to produce quality works, my soul should always stand close to the God who perfects me.

It’s great to write again.

🌻Sol

#writing #creative writing #prose

[whimsywispsblog]

I posted 155 times in 2022

12 posts created (8%)

143 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@samatedeansbroccoli

@cherriesandsins

@satan-incarnate-666

@awolfnamedluna

@its-a-mi-a-mia

I tagged 56 of my posts in 2022

#heavy metal - 10 posts

#classic rock - 7 posts

#steven adler - 6 posts

#duff mckagan - 6 posts

#axl rose - 6 posts

#izzy stradlin - 6 posts

#guns n roses - 6 posts

#punk rock - 5 posts

#duff gnr - 5 posts

#death metal - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 122 characters

#well my icon is an animated pic of me and i did punch myself last night when i tried to pull the blanket over my head 🥲👌

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down

Never gonna run around and

Desert you

Never gonna let you die

Never gonna say goodbye

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

I HOPE YOU KEEP YOUR WORD BROCCOLI 😤

@samatedeansbroccoli

2 notes - Posted February 13, 2022

#4

Heyyy! How would Leon and Chris react with a female s/o that has tattoos and a tongue piercing? Would the love it or rather dont? When you don’t want to write that it’s ok! ‘Was just asking :)

Okay I really like this ask, it's such a mood.

So Chris. He'd be thrilled. Fascinated, excited, awestruck....all those adjectives. He loves to trace your tattoos, while listening to the story behind it. If you plan to get anymore tattoos, he'd gladly accompany you, even your hand if you're scared or in pain. As for piercings, oh sweet heavens. The very sight of it makes him go feral. And it's feel- he goes mental. And he loves it. Although he would wonder how long it would have taken for the piercing to heal and for you to eat anything spicy, if you're a spice lover.

3 notes - Posted November 15, 2022

#3

Only Time Would Tell

There will never be a world in which this is right.

But then, who decides what is right and what is wrong?

Yennefer breathed deeply into her cupped hands, the soft smell of the sweet berries filling her nostrils. For some reason, the scent bought her comfort. She never knew if it was because of her mother. Back when she got a little whiff of motherly love. Or it was because of Tissaia. Whatever the reason it was, the scent of berries did soothe her mind.

She had grown tired of constantly fighting.

Fighting for what was rightfully hers.

Fighting to prove her worth.

Fighting for her place in the world.

Sweet dreams of death, ones that continue to plague her mind and tempt her to give in to its sweet release- how delightful.

Tempting indeed, the long undisturbed slumber of neverending golden dreams- all away from the horrible nightmare of her world.

Her cruel world. A cruel game. Surviving is a pain.

Cheating is a pleasure, but one she wasn't sure she wanted to indulge in any longer.

Geralt.

A scoff escaped from her mouth as she downed another mug of the rancid alcohol.

Love. What a beautiful illusion. Like an enticing mirage that captivates the mind and body.

But disappointing.

Purple orbs looked up to the starry skies that shone brilliantly. The cold breeze swept past her, making her shudder slightly.

Why was love so easy for others to find and thrive with? Or was it her fault?

Yennefer was a woman with a will of her own- unyielding and resolute.

As a young girl who was thrown around, broken, ravaged and fractured, she learnt the ways and rules of life the hard way. And she would forever be thankful for her rough past, without which she wouldn't have been her- strong and determined.

But one question remained.

Why her? Why was she constantly thrashed around relentlessly?

'I am sorry you chose power.'

'No amount of power or beauty will make you feel worthy of either.'

'A child is not a way to boost your fragile ego, Yen.'

All wise words that were thrown at her by her lovers.

Ones who she believed loved her.

But in the end, it was always about the same damn thing- power.

Her being hungry for power even though to survive, power is the key, and that is what she wanted.

But then, she was only looked at as a conduit of magic- a weapon perhaps if given autonomy and identity, disaster would prevail.

See the full post

7 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

#2

Vermilion

From spiralling liquor to soft sheets - he'd done that too many times.

Simon slotted his cigarette between his lips, watching her walk towards him, slightly wobbling over her large stilettoes. The soft glimmer of the lights overhead bathed her in a honeyed glow. 

His eyes were commanded by the stunning pair of rich olive-brown of her eyes behind her bronze-dusted eyelids, full of warmth and a spark of curiosity. 

14 notes - Posted November 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hi! Question how would Chris Redfield react when his s/o is damn good into dirty talk? And everytime when he wants to dirty talk then he/she makes it even worse?

Hello Anon! I'm so sorry for replying so late.

Okay so Chris. I think he's the kind who'd get very flustered easily. Sure he can tease you a little here and there, but that's about it. And if you're the kind of person who's mastered the art of dirty talking, Chris should seriously look out for you (just kidding!). He'd be turned on, definitely, but he'd just freeze too, unsure of what to do next- should he tease you back, or just go with the flow. His s/o would let out a taunting laughing just to fluster him a little more and continue playing with him till Chris is a puddle of mush.

18 notes - Posted November 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[awkwardnoob]

I Show My Love By Making Thousands of AUs: One Piece Edition

Contents: Lots of platonic AUs. Lots of sibling Law/Luffy. Some Lami stanning.

- All AUs are free to use if they inspire you.

Begin!

1. Luffy stops calling Law his friend (and so does Sabo), because they’ve decided Law is definitely their brother now. Law is in a very ‘I did not consent to baby siblings’ position but too bad, the feeling is indeed mutual.

- Alive!Lami bonus: Luffy comes to the logical conclusion that Law being their brother means Lami is definitely their sister, and she enables this instead of taking Law’s side.

- It’s meant to be canon verse but tbh I can see a modern au where Luffy, Sabo, Ace, and Lami all gang up on Law to form the ultimate sibling team ever.

2. Canon verse for sure: Luffy and Sabo invite Law to do the ritual with them and become their brother, but they’ve actually brought a 4th cup, so even if Ace is dead he can still participate if he wants (they have no way of contacting Ace or seeing the dead, it’s just a heartfelt thing) They think Law is going to refuse them when he gets up, but instead Law grabs a 5th cup for Lami.

- Bonus: They fill all 5 cups, and when they’re done, all 5 cups are empty (the living siblings may get called away and unable to notice this happened, but maybe they get to realize the implications. Maybe they even get to see the other two for a brief moment, if you really wanna be nice to them)

3. Lami lives au: She is not weak ass Law bait, thank you. She is a strong, capable pirate in her own right. Who has gone the way of Luffy as a physical power house that definitely does not look like a physical power house.

“Did your sister just break that heavy ass stone pillar into tiny little chunks with a single kick?”

“She’s great isn’t she?”

- Balance wise: She’s physically more powerful than Law but weaker than Luffy. She’s also smarter than Luffy. Overall power wise when taking into account their different strengths that aren’t muscle, they’re all about equals. This isn’t meant to be OP Lami, just respected Lami.

- Don’t be a coward, let Lami stand with the captain trio in power level. Live deliciously!

4. Lami lives au 2: She’s a strong, capable pirate. But her bounty has gone the way of Bepo and Chopper (pathetic) because the government wants to use her as Law bait. She blames Law for this.

5. Lami and Cora live AU: Cora’s existence as a marine puts Law and Lami on a collision course with Garp. They meet the ASL trio early and all become siblings, but the downside is that Garp is now their grandfather. Who trains him just like his other poor grand kids. Naturally, they’re both fucking terrified of him as adults (even if they love him)

Bonus: Shachi, Bepo, and Penguin get dragged into it too.

- Optional setting (it wasn’t actually what I had in mind when I wrote the first bit, essentially): Lami and Cora live because it’s a time travel ‘time is reversed and they get to keep memories’ type of thing. Law is mentally a whole grown ass man, and he still ends up terrified of Garp.

6. Reincarnated to a modern au without devil fruits: They’re reborn into a ‘happier’ setting where even the villains are just normal ass people instead of terrible jack asses. There are lots of living family members. Minks and Fishmen and stuff still actually exist. Luffy has memories of the pirate life though (others having memories optional), and is happy all his buddies are naturally finding him like they’re meant to be with him.

The problem: Chopper is nowhere to be found. Chopper, who was a reindeer who ate a devil fruit, which don’t exist in this world/time. Luffy is worried Chopper just won’t be able to join them in this new world.

Luckily Chopper does finally show up. He’s a mink in this life.

- Before Chopper finally showed up, Luffy would do things like check the local zoo for a reindeer exhibit.

- Bonus: If it has one, Luffy absolutely kept a close eye for news about it, because what if a baby was born and it was Chopper. People without memories came to believe Luffy just really likes Reindeer.

7. Time is reversed and they get to keep their memories AU: It affects everyone EXCEPT Luffy. (and their enemies. The enemies don’t get memories either. Only Luffy’s loved ones, this is meant to be a happy AU!)

- Ace and Sabo running into Luffy’s town like “hello Luffy, we’re your brothers and we love you!” Luffy: “I have those?! COOL!”

- Brook comes back to life and is instantly hit with the memories. He manages to escape and get back to Laboon. Stays with him and Crocus for a while. But he leaves once Luffy is (about to be?) born and essentially becomes Luffy’s caretaker/nanny as Luffy grows.

Bonus: Luffy possibly ends up a good singer this time around thanks to Brook’s early influence. (Luffy isn’t any more or less passionate about music than he was the first time around tho)

- Nami was trying to figure out what she was gonna do about Arlong but Jinbe shows up instead, crisis averted. They end up paying a visit to Luffy’s island with tangerines (Jinbe doesn’t kidnap her, he takes her entire family. Who knows how that gets justified)

- Zoro shows up with Kuina because otherwise Zoro literally never would have found Luffy and Kuina knows it.

- Law shows up with an alive Cora and Lami. Luffy is more interested in Bepo tbh.

- Luffy’s loved ones just slowly show up to find Luffy, and Luffy is raised incredibly loved and cherished. Luffy: “Everyone loves me, I’m the best” (not in a spoiled jack ass way tho)

- Most of them don’t move to live on Luffy’s island, they’re really just visiting.

- Everyone is just starring at each other like ‘we all remember, why doesn’t Luffy?’

- Some people don’t have memories (like Lami and Kuina) but may have been told by their loved one (Kuina)

That’s all for now

#One Piece #Monkey D Luffy #Trafalgar Law #Trafalgar Lami #Tony Tony Chopper #there are multiple characters but those ones get main focus I guess

[soft-pentagon]

Yanan is still Yanan!!!

©️ eng trans by @wookiyus on twitter.

#yan an #pentagon #nugudolsedit #uninet #*mygif #thanks op again for letting me use your trans!! <33 #i really love what he says here;; i think this is really meaningful #all the swollen comparations are funny since this actually involves deep matters like self confidence and what do you think people think #about you #and he goes on about being swollen ahsghsdgs #but its comforting in a way #and im really proud of him #he has grown mentally wise indeed #im so happy hes back :( #1k

[deviltoys]

IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!

hey, kevin here, i apologize that somethin' of this matter is being posted so late like this and so sudden. i won't be typing as i usually do as the accusations here are a serious matter and there won't be a need for my usual, light-hearted typing style.

it has come to my attention, though this information has been kept private for maybe a month, two? but has only just recently been brought to my attention by a good friend of mine. the claims were sent to him over instagram by my ex; kai or huhrizon. the photo will be attached below in which, kai, is laughing about the fact he believes he's found out that i am a minor. more specifically, fifteen. which couldn't be farther from the truth, this thread will be debunking and defending myself before he can come out and express these fabricated lies to try and ruin my reputation because he's upset that i wasn't ready for a relationship.

kai messaging mattia over the fact he believes he has uncovered 'my mother's facebook profile'. which will be debunked below.

very interesting that you decided to not only, try to uncover things about my identity after i politely explained to you that i no longer wanted to pursue a relationship, but that you're brewing up fake rumours just to try to get back at me for it.

onto the main claim. kai has been professing, that i, am infact a fifteen year old falsifying his age online. the reason he believes these claims are that, one, he found my mother's facebook profile. and two, that there was a photo on there of me, with the caption 'happy birthday kevin' posted onto the account. mattia has explained to me that this photo isn't here to be displayed as evidence, solely because kai sent the picture through instagram's vanish mode.

* this mode automatically deletes anything sent after the chat is closed.

mattia informed me that this photo was overall suspicious though as kai had blurred out the user's facebook handle. very odd indeed kai, very odd. i have no clue what this women looked like as there were no further photos, so until then, i don't know how i can debunk the woman not being my mother; appearance wise.

what reason do i have to believe this is motivated out of spite? before kai and i had become acquainted, i followed him through dylan, who had publicity posted about how his friend had created a dark blog. wanting to follow more creators who shared a similar interest, i followed him. immediately, kai had started sending asks about whether or not i was single. we had not talked nor even messages before, we had liked a few of each others posts and that was the max of our interactions. but i responded with a flirty remark, which i am now known for, but wasn't at the time. flirting was thrown back and fourth and after awhile i had realized i was no longer ready, mentally or emotionally for a relationship at that point in time. i still had full feelings for kai, yet kindly expressed my discomfort with a relationship. which he mutually accepted and that was that. i thought we were ended things on great terms, we both communicated and got our messages out of the way.

apparently this was not the case, as kai, without my knowledge goes to search for any sort of dirt he can find on me. which, i will be using a post by dylan to explain why i have reason to be swayed into the fact this was out of anger— i love dylan, and he's not included in these accusations whatsoever, but this post is important to view. do not drag him into this, please. i'm serious.

dylan admits to kai being able to ruin people's lives for fun. which is obviously, not a good look for him. he purposefully goes on the hunt for any information he can attach to someone. unluckily for him, he couldn't find anything worth exposing, so he restorts to making up lies about my age in an attempt to get some sort of revenge? as punishment for breaking his heart i presume. very, very mature after a breakup which i calmly and kindly let you know that i wasn't ready for anything further.

now, onto the rebuttal i have for his big accusation; me being a fifteen year old who's mother's social, kai sniffed up. my mother does not own any form of social media, she has an email which is technically not even a social app. ( this is used for her grad teachers, in order to contact her for reasons that will be explained ).

my mother hasn't had any social app for years, much less posts or takes photos of us to display whatsoever. my mother entered a relationship with a man, who at the time she didn't know was very, very anti-lgbtq.

* before anything else it's important to note that kai, believes i have a brother. i told him this in order to stray away any true information about me, as there are very few people i fully trust with the knowledge of my personal life. much less, someone who i just met at the time; i.e kai. kai had mentioned a friend of either his or his brothers being named 'hank' to try to also fit the lie of having a brother, i told him it was a funny coincidence that my brother had the same name. i do not have a brother, my sister and i are both trans— she being mtf, and i being ftm. she has given me explicit permission to disclose this, as i wouldn't ever dream of letting that information out without her word.

this leads into my main argument. my mother had been with this man for quite awhile, and had finally asked us for permission to give him the news, that we were both transgender and that he should know for the future of our family. he obviously, did not take this well. to keep details minimal for the safety of my family, i'll briefly explain some of the shit he's done to my mother. stalk, threaten, send unsolicited photos and dead animals to our home, try to get my mother to meet up - or find her location to meet up with her, and many, many more vile things. my family has been hiding, moving, and changing our identities ever since. my mother has wanted a healthy, safe environment for her children to grow up in without fear that their lives would be taken or in some way ruined by this man. we can't keep a house for more than a year before we're forced to go into hiding because of a message from him or some sick prank from somebody who knows about the situation. this is all i can say, as i don't want him to somehow get ahold of this post. which is also why i am withholding my families legal names as well as her ex's legal name just to be cautious. though it is never ever justified to lie to your partner, kai and i had barely talked and i felt pressured by the environment and excitement to rush headfirst into a relationship. causing me to hold back any truth to my personal life, excluding interests, stories, and stuff of that sort. which deserves an apology all on it's own.

now, where this fifteen, number came from. not a clue in hell, my sister, is sixteen but was fifteen at the time i was in a relationship with kai. i have no clue if this has anything to do with it, but he knew, as i told him i was celebrating her birthday through text. letting him know, the age she was and the age she was turning.

i live off the grid and always have. my legal name is not on here, my family or friends names, etc. my personality, all me, the stories or hobbies i have? true. my job? true. i express the true me on here while still holding back information that could cause my family into another year of hiding. my mother never has and never will have any socials. she barely uses her email out of fear, but has no choice as it's her only means of communication to her job.

another quick thing i would like to mention, to be truthful, as this is a post solely based on trust alone. as i have no physical evidence to back it up. i sent a photo to kai, letting him know it was taken when i was in middle school. i told him my mother put a filter over it, which is weird right? i just explained how my mother doesn't have socials, he's got to be lying, right? no, my teacher had taken the photo and she had edited on her photo to show our grandma, who she sent the image through phone messages. this was no lie, but it was a misdirection to try to get kai to believe my mother posted about me. i still didn't trust him and never fully did, so this was another. morally wrong, attempt to cover my true identity by lying to him about it. which, again, never right to lie to your partner. but i have a family to protect, it's hard to make friends and relationships online when you have to hide who you truly are your whole life. and i'm sorry that's been the case, though the information my mutuals privately know is all the truth. i've grown to trust a fair few, so thank you.

as a summary, these claims are total bullshit. i can provide more context or answers to any questions you may have, below, through dms, or through my inbox. this was once again posted before he could get his word out, as i wanted to make sure everyone knew what i had to say, in case he decided to 'expose' me while i was at work, or too busy to compile a rebuttal. thank you all for listening, you don't have to believe a word of this. as yes, my story does sound far-fetched but i have no way that i can verify it without putting my family in danger. which, i'd much rather lose my online status over a silly rumour than harm my family for another multitude of years. this is a rather short and rushed post though, as it's been bugging me for awhile and i just need to push it out.

[a-purple-lizard]

Have you done an NSFW Alphabet for Geras yet, If you haven't? May I request one?

Geras NSFW alphabet

[This post is NSFW]

I haven’t yet, but I suppose that’s about to change!

[FINAL WARNING, NSFW BELOW THE LINE]

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

When you finally have had enough, he diligently works to make sure you are completely fine. After he’s assured you are not injured, he will clean you up and find a comfortable place for you to rest, cuddling up next to you, enjoying your presence in his arms.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

For himself, he has no favorite. Every part of him is kronikas flawless design. He is perfect.

As for you, he sees you as a natural masterpiece and thinks your beautiful in every way. But he tends to favor your thighs. He’s found that sucking on them until dark marks appear is a very erotic experience on his part.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Geras has no issue using his powers on you during sex, this includes orgasms. He will repeatedly rewind time during your release, allowing you to remember each time rewind. He will keep doing this until you are begging him for release. It’s basically mental overstimulation.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He’s closed off most of his senses from the world, but since he’s started having sex with you, he’s opened up to his more primal desires. This includes his newfound love for leaving dark marks on your inner thighs, he just finds it so... pleasing to his very being.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

You are definitely taking his virginity, he’s spent his entire life serving kronika, that has left no room for such intimate situations. But trust me, he doesn’t need experience to be good. He rewinds time, learning the ways of your body, and practices until he gets even the slightest of touches just right, before moving on. You won’t have any memory of his previous attempts, so he can play it off as him knowing what he’s doing, don’t be fooled though.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He doesn’t have one, they all provide equal opportunities for him, so he has no preference.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He doesn’t really talk in the moment, not unless you ask him something or he wants to ask you something. To him, sex is a task that he is fulfilling for you, his diligent work has no room for humor.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Geras is very clean, very groomed when it comes to his body. Kronika demands that his body always be in top condition, so he’s always in perfect shape both power wise and body wise.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He’s not exactly romantic during sex, the entire time, he’s too focused on your body. He sees pleasuring you as a great act of intimacy and romance by itself, so he tends to let the romantic aspect disappear during sex. It’s all about your body and making you feel good.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn’t really get sexual pleasure from much, the few things he does find erotic involve you. If you’re not there, he won’t get any type of pleasure so he has no need to masturbate.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Does perfection count as a kink? If so, Mark Geras down as one kinky motherfucker. He will repeatedly rewind time, doing even the smallest of touches over and over agian until he gets it just right. You will have no memory of the time rewinds, so to you, it’s like having the best sex ever all in one flawless go.

Also, Geras does find himself liking to suck on your inner thighs, leaving dark marks. He doesn’t know how to explain it, it just fills him with lust to see his marks on such an intimate and attractive part of your body.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

As long as there’s a surface, Geras is down. He doesn’t care the time or place, he is ready to serve you.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

He’s only ever kronika as a close person, all he’s ever done for her is serve. So serving is the best way he expresses his affection. So his only motivation for sex is your request.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He would not hurt you in any way, or degrade you. He is a service top, he wants to make you feel good, not harm you in any way, even if it is considered erotic.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Like the service top he is, he is only interested in giving. After thousands of time rewinds of trial and error, he knows all your sensitive parts, where to lick, what to gently brush over and what to suck. He can easily make you scream with pleasure during oral.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

His default is slow and sensual, milking out as much pleasure for you as possible. But if you want him to go at a different pace, any pace, he’ll comply.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He’s always ready for a quickie, in fact he’s just always prepared for whenever you wished to be pleasured. Though he much prefers proper sex where he’s not on a time limit, not that times the issue, just there’s so many things he can do to you and he only has a small window of opportunity to please you.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He’s always willing to try out new things to better serve you, as long as it’s nothing harmful.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

When it comes to rounds and stamina, it’s all on you. Geras can literally last for eternity and can have infinite amount of rounds if he wanted to. So for him, don’t worry about how long he can last, worry about how long YOU can last.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I mean, if you count his shape shifting fist as a toy, wich is exactly how he uses it in bed, then ya, he has an entire fucking collection.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Not at all. He wants to serve you, he is at your disposal, that’s how he sees it anyway. Teasing is a big no no, unless you request it of course.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s fairly quiet, only growls and grunts. As I said, he doesn’t receive much physical pleasure, he gets off more to your reactions to him rather then the actual sex.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

After dying and being revived in thousands of timelines, thousands of times in each one, he’s grown mentally numb to touch. It wasn’t until he met you that he started opening up his senses again.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Geras is the perfect being, his skin is smooth and flawless, the shape of his body is perfect in every way. He is quite cold to the touch, like touching some sort of plastic metal. He is indeed very strange to feel up. As for the important part, all you need to know is... it’s fucking big. Like your jaw dropped when you saw it. You are concerned that kronika made him for purposes beyond being her bodyguard, did DAMN it’s huge.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

As high or as low as yours. His only interest in sex is pleasing his partner, so he doesn’t really have a personal drive.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Geras doesn’t need sleep. Such a thing is beneath him. But he does enjoy holding you as you sleep, protecting your naked, vulnerable body from the world.

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat x reader #geras #mk geras #geras x reader

[ladydarklord]

The Mighty Boosh on the business of being silly

The Times, November 15 2008

What began as a cult cocktail of daft poems, surreal characters and fantastical storylines has turned into the comedy juggernaut that is the Mighty Boosh. Janice Turner hangs out with creators Noel Fielding, Julian Barratt and the extended Boosh family to discuss the serious business of being silly

In the thin drizzle of a Monday night in Sheffield, a crowd of young women are waiting for the Mighty Boosh or, more precisely, one half of it. Big-boned Yorkshire lasses, jacketless and unshivering despite the autumn nip, they look ready to devour the object of their desire, the fey, androgynous Noel Fielding, if he puts a lamé boot outside the stage door. “Ooh, I do love a man in eyeliner,” sighs Natalie from Rotherham. She’ll be throwing sickies at work to see the Boosh show 13 times on their tour, plus attend the Boosh after-show parties and Boosh book signings. “My life is dead dull without them,” she says.

Nearby, mobiles primed, a pair of sixth-formers trade favourite Boosh lines. “What is your name?” asks Jessica. “I go by many names, sir,” Victoria replies portentously. A prison warden called Davena survives long days with high-security villains intoning, “It’s an outrage!” in the gravelly voice of Boosh character Tony Harrison, a being whose head is a testicle.

Apart from Fielding, what they all love most about the Boosh is that half their mates don’t get it. They see a bloke in a gorilla suit, a shaman called Naboo, silly rhymes about soup, stories involving shipwrecked men seducing coconuts “and they’re like, ‘This is bloody rubbish,’” says Jessica. “So you feel special because you do get it. You’re part of a club.”

Except the Mighty Boosh club is now more like a movement. What began as an Edinburgh fringe show starring Fielding and his partner Julian Barratt and later became an obscure BBC3 series has grown into a box-set flogging, mega-merchandising, 80-date touring Boosh inc. There was a Boosh festival last summer, now talk of a Boosh movie and Boosh in America. An impasse seems to have been reached: either the Boosh will expand globally or, like other mass comedy cults before it – Vic and Bob, Newman and Baddiel – slowly begin to deflate.

But for the moment, the fans still wait in the rain for heroes who’ve already left the building. I find the Boosh gang gathered in their hotel bar, high on post-gig adrenalin. Barratt, blokishly handsome with his ring-master moustache, if a tad paunchy these days, blends in with the crew. But Fielding is never truly “off”. All day he has been channelling A Clockwork Orange in thick black eyeliner (now smudged into panda rings) and a bowler hat, which he wears with polka-dot leggings, gold boots and a long, neon-green fur-collared PVC trenchcoat. He has, as those women outside put it, “something about him”: a carefully-wrought rock-god danger mixed with an amiable sweetness. Sexy yet approachable. Which is why, perched on a barstool, is a great slab of security called Danny.

“He stops people getting in our faces,” says Fielding. “He does massive stars like P. Diddy and Madonna and he says that considering how we’re viewed in the media as a cult phenomenon, we get much more attention in the street than, say, Girls Aloud. Danny says we’re on the same level as Russell Brand, who can’t walk from the door to the car without ten people speaking to him.”

This barometer of fame appears to fascinate and thrill Fielding. Although he complains he can’t eat dinner with his girlfriend (Dee Plume from the band Robots in Disguise) unmolested, he parties hard and publicly with paparazzi-magnets like Courtney Love and Amy Winehouse. He claims he’s tried wearing a baseball cap but fans still recognise him. Hearing this, Julian Barratt smiles wryly: “Noel is never going to dress down.”

It is clear on meeting them that their Boosh characters Vince Noir (Fielding), the narcissistic extrovert, and Howard Moon (Barratt), the serious, socially awkward jazz obsessive, are comic exaggerations of their own personalities. At the afternoon photo shoot, Fielding breaks free of the hair and make-up lady, sprays most of a can of Elnett on to his Bolan feather-cut and teases it to his satisfaction. Very Vince. “It is an art-life crossover,” says Barratt.

At 40, five years older than Fielding, Barratt exhibits the profound weariness of a man trying to balance a five-month national tour with new-fatherhood. After every Saturday night show he returns home to his 18-month-old twins, Arthur and Walter, and his partner Julia Davis (the creator-star of Nighty Night) and today he was up at 5am pushing a pram on Hampstead Heath before taking the train north to rejoin the Boosh. “I go back so the boys remember who I am. But it’s harder to leave them every time,” he says. “It is totally schizophrenic, totally opposite mental states: all this self-obsession and then them.”

About two nights a week on tour, Fielding doesn’t go to bed, parties through the night and performs the next evening having not slept at all. Barratt often retreats to his room to plough through box sets of The Wire. “It’s a bit gritty, but that is in itself an escape, because what we do is so fantastical.”

But mostly it is hard to resist the instant party provided by a large cast, crew and band. Indeed, drinking with them, it appears Fielding and Barratt are but the most famous members of a close collective of artists, musicians and old mates. Fielding’s brother Michael, who previously worked in a bowling alley, plays Naboo the shaman. “He is late every single day,” complains Noel. “He’s mad and useless, but I’m quite protective of him, quite parental.” Michael is always arguing with Bollo the gorilla, aka Fielding’s best mate, Dave Brown, a graphic artist relieved to remove his costume – “It’s so hot in there I fear I may never father children” – to design the Boosh book. One of the lighting crew worked as male nanny to Barratt’s twins and was in Michael’s class at school: “The first time I met you,” he says to Noel, “you gave me a dead arm.” “You were 9,” Fielding replies. “And you were messing with my stuff.”

This gang aren’t hangers-on but the wellspring of the Boosh’s originality and its strange, homespun, degree-show aesthetic: a character called Mr Susan is made out of chamois leathers, the Hitcher has a giant Polo Mint for an eye. When they need a tour poster they ignore the promoter’s suggestions and call in their old mate, Nige.

Fielding and Barratt met ten years ago at a comedy night in a North London pub. The former had just left Croydon Art College, the latter had dropped out of an American Studies degree at Reading to try stand-up, although he was so terrified at his first gig that he ran off stage and had to be dragged back by the compere.

While superficially different, their childhoods have a common theme: both had artistic, bohemian parents who exercised benign neglect. Fielding’s folks were only 17 when he was born: “They were just kids really. Hippies. Though more into Black Sabbath and Led Zep. There were lots of parties and crazy times. They loved dressing up. And there was a big gap between me and my brother – about nine years – so I was an only child for a long time, hanging out with them, lots of weird stuff going on.

“The great thing about my mum and dad is they let me do anything I wanted as a kid as long as I wasn’t misbehaving. I could eat and go to bed when I liked. I used to spend a lot of time drawing and painting and reading. In my own world, I guess.”

Growing up in Mitcham, South London, his father was a postmaster, while his mother now works for the Home Office. Work was merely the means to fund a good time. “When your dad is into David Bowie, how do you rebel against that? You can’t really. They come to all the gigs. They’ve been in America for the past three weeks. I’m ringing my mum really excited because we’re hanging out with Jim Sheridan, who directed In the Name of the Father, and the Edge from U2, and she said, ‘We’re hanging with Jack White,’ whom they met through a friend of mine. Trumped again!”

Barratt’s father was a Leeds art teacher, his mother an artist later turned businesswoman. “Dad was a bit more strict and academic. Mum would let me do anything I wanted, didn’t mind whether I went to school.” Through his father he became obsessed with Monty Python, went to jazz and Spike Milligan gigs, learnt about sex from his dad’s leatherbound volumes of Penthouse.

Barratt joined bands and assumed he would become a musician (he does all the Boosh’s musical arrangements); Fielding hoped to become an artist (he designed the Boosh book cover and throughout our interview sketches obsessively). Instead they threw their talents into comedy. Barratt: “It is a great means of getting your ideas over instantly.” Fielding: “Yes, it is quite punk in that way.”

Their 1998 Edinburgh Fringe show called The Mighty Boosh was named, obscurely, after a friend’s description of Michael Fielding’s huge childhood Afro: “A mighty bush.” While their double-act banter has an old-fashioned dynamic, redolent of Morecambe and Wise, the show threw in weird characters and a fantasy storyline in which they played a pair of zookeepers. They are very serious about their influences. “Magritte, Rousseau...” says Fielding. “I like Rousseau’s made-up worlds: his jungle has all the things you’d want in a jungle, even though he’d never been in one so it was an imaginary place.”

Eclectic, weird and, crucially, unprepared to compromise their aesthetic sensibilities, it was 2004 before, championed by Steve Coogan’s Baby Cow production company, their first series aired on BBC3. Through repeats and DVD sales the second series, in which the pair have left the zoo and are living above Naboo’s shop, found a bigger audience. Last year the first episode of series three had one million viewers. But perhaps the Boosh’s true breakthrough into mainstream came in June when George Bush visited Belfast and a child presented him with a plant labelled “The Mighty Bush”. Assuming it was a tribute to his greatness, the president proudly displayed it for the cameras, while the rest of Britain tittered.

A Boosh audience these days is quite a mix. In Sheffield the front row is rammed with teenage indie girls, heavy on the eyeliner, who fancy Fielding. But there are children, too: my own sons can recite whole “crimps” (the Boosh’s silly, very English version of rap) word for word. And there are older, respectable types who, when I interview them, all apologise for having such boring jobs. They’re accountants, IT workers, human resources officers and civil servants. But probe deeper and you find ten years ago they excelled at art A level or played in a band, and now puzzle how their lives turned out so square. For them, the Boosh embody their former dreams. And their DIY comedy, shambolic air, the slightly crap costumes, the melding of fantasy with the everyday, feels like something they could still knock up at home.

Indeed, many fans come to gigs in costume. At the Mighty Boosh Festival 15,000 people came dressed up to watch bands and absurdity in a Kent field. And in Sheffield I meet a father-and-son combo dressed as Howard Moon and Bob Fossil – general manager of the zoo – plus a gang of thirty-something parents elaborately attired as Crack Fox, Spirit of Jazz, a granny called Nanageddon, and Amy Housemouse. “I love the Boosh because it’s total escapism,” says Laura Hargreaves, an employment manager dressed as an Electro Fairy. “It’s not all perfect and people these days worry too much that things aren’t perfect. It’s just pure fun.”

But how to retain that appealingly amateur art-school quality now that the Boosh is a mega comedy brand? Noel Fielding is adamant that they haven’t grown cynical, that The Mighty Book of Boosh was a long-term project, not a money-spinner chucked out for Christmas: “There is a lot of heart in what we do,” he says. Barratt adds: “It’s been hard this year to do everything we’ve wanted, to a standard we’re proud of... Which is why we’re worn to shreds.”

Comedy is most powerful in intimate spaces, but the Boosh show, with its huge set, requires major venues. “We’ve lost money every day on the tour,” says Fielding. “The crew and the props and what it costs to take them on the road – it’s ridiculous. Small gigs would lose millions of pounds.”

The live show is a kind of Mighty Boosh panto, with old favourites – Bob Fossil, Bollo, Tony Harrison, etc – coming on to cheers of recognition. But it lacks the escapism to the perfectly conceived world of the TV show. They have told the BBC they don’t want a fourth series: they want a movie. They would also, as with Little Britain USA, like a crack at the States, where they run on BBC America. Clearly the Boosh needs to keep evolving or it will die.

Already other artists are telling Fielding and Barratt to make their money now: “They say this is our time, which is quite frightening.” I recall Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer, who dominated the Nineties with Big Night Out and Shooting Stars. “Yes, they were massive,” says Fielding. “A number one record...” And now Reeves presents Brainiac. “If you have longer-term goals, it’s not scary,” says Barratt. “To me, I’m heading somewhere else – to direct, make films, write stuff – and at the moment it’s all gone mental. I’m sort of enjoying this as an outsider. It was Noel who had this desire to reach more people.”

Indeed, the old cliché that comedy is the new rock’n’roll is closest to being realised in Noel Fielding. Watching him perform the thrash metal numbers in the Boosh live show, he is half ironic comic performer, half frustrated rock god. His heroes weren’t comics but androgynous musicians: Jagger, Bowie, Syd Barrett. (Although he liked Peter Cook’s style and looks.)

“I like clothes and make-up, I like the transformation,” he says. Does it puzzle him that women find this so sexually attractive? “I was reading a book the other day about the New York Dolls and David Johansen was saying that none of them were gay or even bisexual, and that when they started dressing in stilettos and leather pants, women got it straight away with no explanation. But a lot of men had problems. It’s one of those strange things. A man will go, ‘You f***ing queer.’ And you just think, ‘Well, your girlfriend fancies me.’”

The Boosh stopped signing autographs outside stage doors when it started taking two hours a night. At recent book signings up to 1,500 people have shown up, some sleeping overnight in the queue. And on this tour, the Boosh took control of the after-show parties, once run as money-spinners by the promoters, and now show up in person to do DJ slots. I ask if they like to meet their fans, and they laugh nervously.

Fielding: “We have to be behind a fence.”

Barratt: “They try to rip your clothes off your body.”

Fielding: “The other day my girlfriend gave me this ring. And, doing the rock numbers at the end, I held out my hands and the crowd just ripped it off.”

Barratt: “I see it as a thing which is going to go away. A moment when people are really excited about you. And it can’t last.”

He recalls a man in York grabbing him for a photo, saying, “I’d love to be you, it must be so amazing.” And Barratt says he thought, “Yes, it is. But all the while I was trying to duck into this doorway to avoid the next person.” He’s trying to enjoy the Boosh’s moment, knows it will pass, but all the same?

In the hotel bar, a young woman fan has dodged past Danny and comes brazenly over to Fielding. Head cocked attentively like a glossy bird, he chats, signs various items, submits to photos, speaks to her mate on her phone. The rest of the Boosh crew eye her steelily. They know how it will end. “You have five minutes then you go,” hisses one. “I feel really stupid now,” says the girl. It is hard not to squirm at the awful obeisance of fandom. But still she milks the encounter, demands Fielding come outside to meet her friend. When he demurs she is outraged, and Danny intercedes. Fielding returns to his seat slightly unsettled. “What more does she want?” he mutters, reaching for his wine glass. “A skin sample?”

#I hadn't seen this one before so I thought I'd share #noel will never dress down #ah yes the patient boyfriend Julian Barratt

[mimik-u]

“Homeworld Bound” Thoughts:

I wasn’t going to watch this one today, but then I realized that I really missed the Diamonds and wanted to consume novel content, so!

OOH, good on the show for taking us directly to the aftermath of “Fragments” instead of putting space between the episodes. That’s just... a really good choice narrative wise.

Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl’s expressions are so distressing here. He’s been gone for three days; they must’ve been so worried.

Jasper steps aside to reveal an absolutely ruined Steven.

He just technically killed a gem and then resurrected her. How intensely will that forever lie on his psyche? Oh my g od

NO, NOT JASPER PASSIVELY MAKING THE DIAMOND SIGN IN THE BACKGROUND AUGH

“You can’t just disappear for days without telling us!”

Steven silent walking up to the Observatory as the Gems continue to freak the fuck out is harrowing. And Dee Dee Magno Hall is killing it with her voice acting here. The simultaneous fear and anger and horror in her voice. Oh my g d

“You guys... I love you, but you can’t help me anymore. I’ve been avoiding the only people in the entire universe who can.” 🥺 This is sad, but I’m also, like, problematic grandmas time!!!!!

“Find something better to do with your life.” God, Jasper’s look of disbelief and sadness here. I didn’t really delve into this during my “Fragments” watch because I was just roridoodwrjfkrkeke reeling, but her reaction to being accidentally shattered is psychologically devastating???? I’d wager that she simultaneously respects the fact that she’s been subjugated by a being more powerful than her, that she’s grateful to Steven for being both subjugator and savior, and likely, she’s conflating this new loyalty with her former loyalty for Pink. This is a really complex psyche (a tragic one most of all).

Garnet: “Steven, remember, we’ll always be your family.” I’m so fucki n emo

AWHWHWH, HOMEWORLD IS SO BRIGHT AND COLORFUL NOW!!!

YO!! Homeworld has a democracy now!! The Zircons!!!!!!!

THE WALL GEM IS MOVING??????? KWOEOEIDJDKSJS

Can u imagine being a wall cursed with sentience. that is so funny on so many levels

But it’s also really interesting, too. If the Wall Gem is a gem in the way say Topazes are gems, which, judging by her mobility, she is—then her explicit purpose in Era 1-2, as molded by presumably Yellow, was to b a wall omg. (Or, arguably, I think it can be argued that the inanimate object Gems, like Comby, were probably accidental sentient creations, made in relationship to their proximity to the Diamonds during their various secretion rituals!!)

Anyway, I love thinking about Homeworld worldbuilding. It’s fascinating.

SQUARE PERIDOT

SPIIIIIINELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

Her heart eyes!! She looks so happy!

Steven, angry af: “Spinel, what is wrong with you?” / Spinel: Oh, you know—the usual.” KEKDSKDK

Also, Steven really wanted to say fuck there. NEKDDKKSSKKS

“I was such a wreck then, but I am so much better now.” We stan character growth 😭😭

One thing I have loved the Crewniverse so much for doing is never taking away the physical signs of gems’ mental distress, even after they’ve gotten better: Blue’s eye bags, Volleyball’s eye, Spinel’s running mascara. That is so important.

YELLOW SITTING AT HER LIL VANITY!!

IT’S LIGHT INSIDE HER ROOM! THERE R FLOWERS! THRIVE, QUEEN, THRIVE.

YELLOW REVERSING HER GEM EXPERIMENTS OH MY G D

FUCKING QUEEN!!!!!!

(I’m sorry in advance. The rest of the live blog is just going to be screaming about the Diamonds.)

“I can permanently alter any physical form!” She’s so proud of herself. 😭😭😭 I fuckin’ love her.

Yellow laying down on the ground like that is SENDING ME SKSKSJSJ.

Ugh, and her being such a good mom to Spinel. I’m cry in f

“If anything’s out of proportion, it’s your temper. You can be big if you want to, or you can be small if you want to, but if you’re going to be upset no matter what, then this problem isn’t physical—it’s emotional. Go see Blue.”

I really like her advice here because it’s advice that comments so clearly on her own character arc. At her lowest, she was quick to anger, aggressive, and temperamental, which she diagnoses in Steven here. Additionally, she was the Diamond who was concerned largely with physical actions. She coped by maintaining the Empire through conquering planets and maintaining the minutiae of leadership; she thought the only way to receive justice for Pink was through the physical act of destruction. And in doing so, she pushed her own emotions deep, deep down until they manifested in anger, aggressiveness, and temperamental outbursts. This hurt the people she cared about, and it hurt herself most of all.

Also, “Go see Blue. That is her department.” Ejdoiddjdjjsjdjdks, “go see ur other grandma.”

BLUE FLOATING ON A CLOUD!!!!!

“Your powers have been causing you dramatic mood swings? That seems awfully troubling Steven.” God I love her

“You don’t seem troubled.” This is a really interesting line because it comments on how Blue’s emotions, especially her negatively charged ones, used to be so visible all over her; indeed, she both wittingly and actively used to project them on other Gems, forcing them to feel her suffering, too.

OH, SHE GOES ON TO SAY THE EXACT SAME THING EOEODODISSJJS. LISTEN, I REALLY VIBE WITH BLUE.

“Back before you came into my life, Steven, I wanted every one to feel the pain I felt. I realized I must make up for my awful behavior by bringing joy to others.”

Another thing I’ve appreciated about the writing in this episode: So far, both Blue and Yellow have used the adjective awful to describe their former actions. It’s the self-awareness and the refusal to try to excuse themselves that powerfully shows how much they’ve grown. And it’s their continuous endeavors to keep moving forward, to help the Gems that they’ve hurt, that indicates that they’re willing to constantly keep growing and atoning.

NFOFOFDKSSKSKSK, THESE CLOUDS ARE JUST HER VAPORIZED TEARS HELP.

Sick vape clouds, Blue

I’VE HEARD THE SONG BEFORE, BUT EVERY TIME SHE SINGS, I LOSE MY SHI T

LISA HANNNNIGAAAAAAAN

This is such a pretty line: “Cold palace walls, and endless empty halls, haunted by echoes of laughter.”

BLUE ASCENDING THROUGH THE CLOUDS AUSHAHHSHD

BLUE MAKING HEART CLOUDS FOR SPINEL!!

BLUE CALLING SPINEL N STEVEN HER LITTLE REASONS WHY.

“I’LL NEVER MAKE YOU CRY.” This line is particularly lovely because I think it plays well with Steven’s line to her in “CYM:” “How many times did you make her cry?”

BDJDJDJSJDJ, BLUE LAYING ON HER CLOUD LIKE YELLOW LAID ON THE FLOOR.

The way she sings the last “loving you.” 😭😭😭😭 I’m gonna weep. I love her so fucking much.

“I found happiness. If that's not something you think you deserve, then I suspect this is an issue of self worth. I suggest you go to White for assistance with such matters.” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 And like Yellow did, Blue gets to the heart of her arc cleanly.

Before Steven and before her own emotional reckoning, she didn’t think it was her place to be happy: “I know my purpose isn’t to be happy.” But in learning to love others, Blue has found true, inner happiness, which she literally shares with others. Wow.

And I think there’s something powerful in her distinction between true happiness and self-worth. You can’t find one without espousing the other.

White’s room is so pretty. 🥺

THE FLASHING STROBE LIGJTS DDNJDFJDJDNF.

SPINEL WHITE DIAMOND?!/!:$;8;83&:&:

SHE FUCKING LETS OTHER GEMS CONTROL HE R HELP.

SPINEL MAKING WHITE TAP DANCE FICODODOFODJDNDJSJDJDJJDDJDJ

Steven’s horrified expression omg

“I’m scared I’m gonna hurt people; I guess I already have.” God.

And that’s another thing that this episode has called to mind. Blue, Yellow, and White alike once used their insane powers to hurt other Gems and to hurt themselves, and here, throughout this series, we see Steven discovering that same capacity for destruction and self-destruction. Along with the systematic oppressions they facilitated, a big part of the Diamonds’ modus operandi was that their powers were directly correlated to their mental states and their various inabilities to confront their own selves and effect inner change. The corrective wasn’t necessarily Steven; the corrective was him helping them to do that initial act of introspection and looking inwards. And so, too, will Steven have to do the same by the end of this series. But I presume that his family, all the people and gems who have loved and cared for him, will in effect be his Steven, just as he has always been for them.

“Half a Diamond, half a creature of Earth—in all the universe there's no one else that could know what you’re going through, so maybe it's time you talked to yourself.” This is so viscerally sad. White hits the nail on the head here. Steven’s human friends/family and his gem family and even the Diamonds, who come the closest to matching his own strength, can never fully understand him. It’s the tension that underscores a lot, if not the entire show.

White briefly touches Steven with her nail, and you can viscerally see the trauma on his face; he hasn’t forgotten her act above all, wrenching his gem out, nearly killing him.

“I’m... I’m a Diamond.” Steven, in looking at White Diamond, realizes that she’s a mirror of himself. Holy fucking shit

“I don’t want to be you! I don’t want to be anything like you!” HOLY FUCKING SHIT

“Don’t hurt me! She can’t hurt me! I’m controlling her...” And here, Steven doesn’t light upon the essential thing... in making White punch the wall, nearly knocking a huge rock into him, he’s the one hurting himself.

This show, oh my g o d

“She’s the one who should be afraid.” STEVEN?!!!!????!??!

“No, stop it! I don’t like this!” / “Please, you’re scaring me.” OH MY GO D

HE FUCKING MADE HER SLAM HER GEM AGAINST A PILLAR HOLY HE LL

“What... what was that?” Christine’s delivery here. Holy shit. 😭😭 And both of them are surrounded in the carnage of Steven’s wrath. Holy fucking shit.

This act is fundamentally different than him accidentally shattering Jasper in “Fragments”; this was an intentional attempt to hurt White, to crack her, to break her. Holy fucking shit

Spinel, Blue, and Yellow waiting for Steven outside of White’s door has my heart a little and a lot tender 🥺🥺🥺🥺

SPINEL SINGING I CAN MAKE A CHANGE SO DRAMATICALLY DJDIDJDJDJDJD. (But yeah, lmao, this will absolutely be the conclusion of Steven’s arc at the end of Future.)

“Steven! Let us help you, Steven!” The Diamonds are so concerned (mirroring the Gems back at home, too). 😭😭

He leaves a flip flop behind like Cinderella lmao

“Steven, let us help you!” / “We’re your family!” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

And just as he implored the CGs, he tells the Diamonds not to follow him either.

Steven is completely and utterly alone.

Not by necessity.

But God, by choice.

Okay, this is my new favorite Future episode.

#blue diamond #white diamond #yellow diamond #steven universe #spinel #s: future #mimiku #DIEOEODJDDNSNSJJD #this episode really did it for me

[tellywoodtrash]

TT...hate to break it to you, but this office is indeed Vihaan's container house. It moves around magically and is now inside the house of horrors with it's unmissable yellow walls.

But honestly, baaki saara plot nonsense ek taraf. I toh love how R has gone from a character who I found annoying but found myself siding with because...y'know, she's a victim of abuse, to just... someone I genuinely love rooting for? Ik this track is supposed to make me sympathetic to V, cuz everyone and their Dadi is out to get him, but then I remember the paralytic drink and Manali and Ahana and the innumerable attacks he planned/allowed and the pathological lying and eh, zara bhi sympathy nahi aati.... If he could paralyse her and lie to her to hide Ragini "for her own good", she can rob him of khaandaani stuff and lie for a bit for what I'm sure will ultimately be for his own good, and they're still far from even, no?

Arre I know irl SET-wise that the place is the same, but canon mein this is his secret room behind the bookshelf, whereas Vihaan used to live in the literal middle of nowhere. V should really move his operations outta the house, or at least to a different secret hideout somewhere in the basement or something; seeing how Aryan, Riddhima, and now Lollipop Ladki too, are just constantly hanging out in here, trying to fuck shit up.

Yup, exaaaaaactly. This is literally all I wanted from Riddhima’s character. I didn’t want some infallible woman who never does anything wrong, but someone who regroups when shit goes south and uses her brain properly, instead of just going by her emotions and overly doodh se dhula conscience. Like she was properly affected by seeing Angre die in front of her, but then she saw how Vansh was reacting and connected the dots herself and made it outta her mental whirlpool herself!!!!!!!!!!! And you’re right, I’m sure whatever the f Riddhima is doing is probably for V’s “own good” (something to do with Dadi/Vyom’s family secret that’ll wreck him???) but she could honestly be justified to set this whole place on fire with all the Raisinghanias inside, and it still wouldn’t be even for the amount of shit they’ve done to her. Forget just Vansh; how many times have Ishani/Aryan/Chanchal/Anupriya tried to maim and/or murder her????? Dadi bhi ab khoon ki pyaasi hai. Only Angre and Siya give a little bit of a fuck about her, but again, they’re within the constraints of Vansh Bhai allowing them to act. So yeah, I’m hella glad that R has grown a wholeass new spine and is playing this game smartly just like all the men! Idc if the show has a happy ending romantically or whatever, I just need Riddhima to be the winner! (Yup, that’s right Kabir, you’ve been bumped to second place for now! Come back quick and make yourself worthy of first place!!!!)

#immj2 #tt answers

[serpents-den]

Hey bestie, this is for the HP questions: 10 and 17 🙏

heyy bestiie, thx for asking !!

10- Who deserved to live that died?

as a snover, a snape stan, a severus enjoyer — i should probably say snape but im not going to because

1- i don't think the bitch that said "i can teach you how to stopper death" actually died at all, besides harry did not see him at all when he died.

and 2- even if he did die, his death would've been memorable and some good shit. to die like that? some of you can only wish.

so it probably is fred, loved the guy, but apparently miss joanne (god i hate her so much) just thought it was cool or smth. what a bitch.

alternative response to the question: my fucking respect for her died when i discovered just how awful she is, that is the most tragic death in hp (BUT IT WAS NECESSARY SO NO IT DID NOT DESERVE TO LIVE AT ALL).

17- More evil - voldemort or umbridge?

uhhh ... they are two kinds of evil. umbridge is by far the scariest because it's not difficult to find someone as bigoted and awful as she is in a position of power that allows her to abuse of her authority. she's scary because we've probably have all dealt with someone like or will in the future. a realistic villain, the worst.

now, yeah you could find a guy with a god complex like voldemort's but these people tend to have multiple other issues and are ballsy, either way they get punished by either a) the forces of the universe if you believe in such a thing or b) the judicial system (which is not always the appropriate punishment some bastards should get). voldemort at the end of the day is so far away from our reality, that's why its easier to find voldemort stans than umbridge ones. voldemort has "fictional bastard diva" written all over him while umbridge is the karen you could encounter while shopping groceries. voldemort was indeed insane, probably caused by the gaunt's intense imbreeding, so he was doomed to end up badly had he been an orphan or not, had he stayed in the orphanage or not. maybe if he had been treated mentally wise, but otherwise he would always just grow up to be q little bitch. he's smart, that's what can creep you out, but he's the kind of evil that is often portrayed in media like "wow, ambitious mentally ill person chose to dislike something — now they are plotting genocide!". its hard to be truly scared of him when youve grown up watching the powerpuff girls' villains.

to sum it up, umbridge is scarier.

#ask meme #serpents den's asks #hp #harry potter

[thiswasinevitableid]

PSL (OT4)

Prompt for the 14th was: Pumpkin.  The OT4, for new folks, is Barclay, Stern, Indrid, and Duck (every is dating except Duck and Barclay, who are metamors). This prompt could also be called “the silly things we sometimes do for love”

Stern absentmindedly taps the steering wheel as the last cars trickle from the visitor center parking lot. The last song before he dropped back into the NRQZ was “Bad Moon Rising” and so that’s what he taps in time to. The lights in the building can't go out soon enough. 

He’d only been in D.C  week, had skyped the others every night, but the sensation of missing them was so strong. It’s the trade-off, he supposes, for knowing there were three people waiting for him instead of the none he’d grown accustomed to. 

Even with the LAN, the signal on the Kepler end was too weak to show video most of the time, so he lay on the hotel bed, basking in their voices. Barcaly’s voice makes him feel safe the way a well-built house and a warm drink on a stormy night make him feel safe. Indrid’s is like something from  drem, familiar and alien all at once.

The car door swings open, letting in a burst of fall air. 

“Hey, darlin.” 

Duck’s voice makes him feel sixteen again. He never had a highschool sweetheart, but that drawl feels like it’s coming in through the open window in the summer air, promising something wonderful if he climbs outside.

“Fancy seeing you here.”

And then there’s him, sounding like a dork. But Duck just smiles.

“You have  an okay drive?”

“It’s been worse, and at least this time I drove past the city limit sign knowing where Bigfoot is.”

“In your room pinin after you?”

“I hope not.” Stern lies, blushes a little at the image. 

Duck moves to put his water bottle in the center cupholder, picks up the starbucks cup sitting there, and makes a face when he finds it mostly full.

“You feein okay? Don’t think I ever seen you leave coffee long enough to get cold.” Duck sniffs, nods in understanding, “uhuh, I see, not a fan of the old pumpkin spice?”

“No. I buy one every year, and every year it’s the same thing.”

“So...why keep buyin it?”

“Because it’s so popular and yet I don’t like it. It’s so frustrating, I feel like I’m missing something! And now I basically have this weird ritual where I buy one just to see if this is the year I finally taste what everyone else does.” He tosses a sideways glare at the cup, “I have to be missing something.”

Duck giggles as they turn down the street to his apartment, “Missed you a hell of a lot, city mouse.”

“Do you think Indrid will mind if I don’t come up? I’m ready to collapse, and his sleep schedule is so weird anyway-”

“Think you don’t gotta worry about it.’

Sitting on the foot of the outdoor staircase is tall figured bundled in sweaters. Once they’re parked, Duck leans over and turns Sterns face towards him, kissing him while running his hand along his leg. 

The passenger car door clicks open and Indrid’s hand appears. Duck takes it, winking once before leaving the car. There’s the sound of another kiss, and then Indrid bends down , bracing awkwardly on the seat, purring as he looks at Stern. 

“Hello, pet. I missed you.” 

“I missed you too.” Stern leans in without being told to, Indrid chuckling lightly before kissing him. 

“And yes,” Indrid says as he pulls back, “that surprise you’re thinking of will work nicely.”

With that, he’s out of the car in a rustle of fabric. 

------------------

His plan to surprise Barclay by waiting in the Sylphs room until he gets off shift does indeed go well. He gets fucked into the bedspread and cums with Barclays head between his legs, and that's not even the best part. 

Barclay is so happy when he sees him, clings to him afterwards, trails after him like a faithful dog as he puts his things away. They started sharing the room after the almost end of the world, partly because it’s further from everyone elses and thus they run less risk of being heard (Sterns love of letting Barclay know how well he’s taking care of him in bed stops just shy of letting everyone else know). It also acted as a sign that Stern meant to stay, somehow reassuring Barclay of that fact more than the agent’s own permanent assignment over the gate did. 

He’s never told Barclay the truth, which is that if it had come down to staying in Kepler or leaving the FBI, he’d have turned in his badge in an instant. Barclay alone is reason enough for that, and when you added Duck and Indrid into the mix, how could he be anywhere else?

Then again, maybe Barclay has guessed as much after Stern willingly dragged his boss into a closet to help them save the world. 

It scares him, knowing he might have put so much of his ambition aside to stay here. But it thrills him too. 

Right now, it seems deeply worthwhile; he’s laying on the couch, legs in Duck's lap, doing a crossword while the other man reads. The Sylphs are on the floor, Indrid using his claws to scratch and groom Barclays fur. They’re talking quietly to each other in what Stern now recognizes as High Sylph, Barclay letting our rumbling purrs as they do. 

Then he opens his eyes, looks at Stern, “No way. Babe, you don’t like pumpkin spice?”

Stern looks at Duck, confused. The ranger shrugs, “I told ‘Drid about it.”

“Just the lattes. I like pumpkin in other things.”

“I am the one who hates pumpkin in all forms.” Indrid says, handing Barclay his bracelet. 

“Hold up, not even pumpkin pie?” Duck sets his book down.

Indrid shakes his head. 

“But it’s a classic!”

“It is a trap. Pie is supposed to be sweet, not vegetal. And do not get me started on the wretched gourds themselves.”

“Do they make you sick?” Stern is already making a mental note to steer the Sylph clear of the bins of them by the Kroger.

“No. They resemble a fruit on Sylvain that is commonly grown near where I grew up. That fruit tastes sweet, like a melon. Not like horrid pulp.”

“Hmm, I wonder if seeds from one got through the gate and created the other.”

“Had to be the pumpkins goin to Sylvain, pumpkins have been growin in the americas for a long time.” Duck adds, then sighs, “can't believe I’m datin a fella who hates pumpkin pie. My mom made the best version in the world. Wonder if I can make it…”

“My sweet, I doubt even you are capable of as impressive a feat as making pumpkin pie not repulsive. But if you want to try, I will not stop you. Just go easy on the ginger, I am not fond of that either.”

“Indrid please, you’re breaking my culinary heart.” Barclay pouts. 

Indrid licks his cheek, “You will survive, sunburst. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go check some futures. Joseph, you have a phone call.”

Stern stands, already moving down the hall  by the time the phone rings. Dating the mothman has some benefits. 

-----------------------

Barclay watches them go, rubbing his beard, then looks over at Duck with an unusually mischievous glint in his eye.

“Up for a friendly bet?”

“Let’s hear it.”

“Bet I can make Joseph a Pumpkin Spice Latte he likes before you can make Indrid a pumpkin pie he'll eat.”

“What are we bettin?”

Barclay smirks, “assuming those two are up for it? Winner gets to be on the bed, loser gets tied up and has to watch.”

“You’re on.”

------------------------

Barclay carefully measures spices into simple syrup, Joseph watching him with his usual curiosity from a stool by one of the prep stations. 

“You know you don’t have to go to all this trouble right? I’m happy to keep doing my nonsensical fall ritual.”

“Know you love you patterns babe, but I love a challenge. Once managed to recreate Dani’s favorite dessert from back home out of apples, peanut butter, and marshmallow fluff with a red licorice reduction.”

He glances over his shoulder to see his boyfriend making a horrified face. 

“She still asks for it for her birthday. Or she did, I assume she can get the real deal now,”

Returning to his whisking sends bursts of cardamom and ginger into the ir. He inhales, content, just as the music coming from Sterns phone quiets. 

“You’re also looking for a distraction.”

Damn FBI training. 

“What makes you say that, agent?”

“Your posture, tone, and the fact you keep changing the subject.” There’s a sharp sound of leather soles on tiles as Stern hops of the stool. Then he’s in Barlcay’s periphery, leaning back against the counter, sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up, “It’s alright if you don’t want to talk about it. But if it’s something to do with me, please tell me.”

“No” he turns off the burner, sets the syrup side to cool, “not even  little, babe. I, uh, my first memory of fall on earth was getting exiled.”

“Oh, oh Barclay I had no idea.” Stern pivots, rests a hand on his hip.

“No one but Mama really does. It just means that all the stuff people like about fall; the leaves changing,getting to bundle up, building the first fire of the year, even the food...I still get this miserable feeling. Even though I’ve had lots of good stuff happen in the fall since then I find myself knowing what I was missing all those years. That was one of my favorite times of year on Sylvain that feeling. Having projects makes it easier to ignore.” When he turns his head his gaze is on the ground, “sorry, don’t mean to make things heavy when we’re just doing a goofy bet.”

Stern tugs him away from the stove, rests a hnd on each bearded cheek, “Thank you for telling me, Barclay. I’m sorry, I can't imagine how that felt, and if you ever want to talk about it...well, actually, Indrid might be the better person, but I’ll do my best. And,” he guides Barclay’s face up so he’s looking into brown eyes, stroking his cheek to coax out a smile, “I’m happy to be a distraction whenever you need me to.”

--------------------------------------

“Oh of course, how could I have missed that?” Indrid whacks his head into his notebook as Stern mentions his conversation with Brcly, “He told me once when in the year he was exiled, but I never put together what that corresponded to. I wish there was something I could do.”

“Me too. For now I’m taking him at his word that the bet is enough of a distraction.”

“Wise. Speaking of which; any luck, my love?”

“Nope!” Duck’s voice comes down from Janes attic. His sister is mostly sure their mom’s pumpkin pie recipe is somewhere in the boes up there, so Duck used his spare key to get into the house. 

“How’s the ltte?” Indrid dips his head to indicate the travel mug in Stern’s hnd. 

“I still don’t see what the fuss is. Barclay even used my favorite blend as the base.” 

Indrid looks down t his own mug, “do you want some of my white chocolate- oh dear”

“Ahfuck! Uh, ‘Drid, Joe? Can, uh, can one of you move the ladder back? Because I just kicked it.” Duck’s legs are dangling from the attic door, the stepladder on it’s side on the floor. Before Stern can grab it, two chitinous, slightly velvety arms paper.

“Just let go.”

Duck obeys, dropping into the mothman’s waiting arms. 

“Thanks, sugar.”

“You are welcome. Since you are about to say you did not find it, how bout lunch.”

“Sounds good. You comin, Joe.”

“Of course.”

‘...’Drid, you gonna put me down?’

“.......I haven't decided yet.”

-----------------------------

“Okay, this one has condensed milk, less ginger, and a hint of caramel.”

“Mmm. Hmmm, no I mean, it’s not bad but it’s still not trendsetting.”

“Dang.”

---------------------------------

“Jesus, why’d they keep all this stuff? These are report cards from first grade!”

“What is there to grade at that age?”

“Behavior, mostly. Huh, here are some cookbooks, maybe mom put that recipe in here.”

“While you search, I shall amuse myself with this box of photographs--you never told me you played trombone. Or had frosted tips.”

“That was one time in college, and gimme that box, you fuzzy menace.”

“Only if you come and get it, little human.”

---------------------------------

“This one is salted caramel, pumpkin, spices, and vanilla infused heavy cream.”

“Nope, still not revelatory.”

“Grrrrr.”

“Was that directed at me or the latte?”

“The latte, but if you feel like being a little late for your meeting with agent Steele I can growl over you some right now.”

----------------------------------

“...Thanks, Aunt Alice. Uhhuh, yep, talk with you soon.”

“No help from the extended family, I take it?”

“Nope. Just questions about when I’m gonna get married.”

“Oh dear.”

---------------------------------------------------

Stern sips from his Flathead Lake travel mug, the one where a monster becomes visible when warm liquid is poured in. 

“Oh my lord, Barclay, this is incredible! You’ve done it, I want to drink this everyday.” He sips as fast as his tongue will allow as his boyfriend rumbles out a laugh. 

“Well, yes and no. I did make that, but it’s not  pumpkin spice. It’s dirty chai with fall-spiced caramel syrup.”

“It’s amazing. I love you so much.”

Barclay laughs louder, reaches across the center console to squeeze his hand, “Love you too, babe. More I thought about it, more I figured you're a man of very, uh, particular tastes sometimes, and if you don’t like pumpkin lattes, you don’t like them. I’d rather spend my time making something I know you’ll love, rather than trying to make your tastes match everyone else's. I mean, I kinda benefit from your having weird taste. Um, so to speak.” He pulls up to the apartment, and as soon as the car stops Stern pulls him into a kiss. 

“Thank you, Barclay. I, um, no one’s ever gone to all that effort just to try and help me understand why people like something.”

“Any time, agent.”

Stern pulls his phone out, “I have something for you too.” 

Barclay reads the image of an email he saved, “You’re taking time off?”

“Yes. I, um, I was thinking we could go to Sylvain during it. I can't give you back all the things you missed being gone. But I thought maybe I could give you the chance to start making up for lost time. I love fall on earth; I want to learn how to love it on Sylvain too, with you as my guide. I want to do what I can so it isn’t a bittersweet time of year anymore.”

The larger man looks like he might cry, but Stern doesn’t get long to examine it, since he’s crushed in a hug. 

“Thank you, babe, thank you so fucking much. I, I’ve been kinda nervous to try and go back for things but I felt silly for being scared and I didn’t know how to ask and just...thank you.” He sniffles, pulls back with a watery smile, “Now c’mon, let’s go up. From the smell of it, Duck made pie.”

The apartment smells like the platonic ideal of fall, and Duck, streak of flour on his cheek, is putting the finishing whip cream touch on a pumpkin pie.”

“Where did you finally find the recipe?”

“In a book buried at the back of my closet, full of moms advice for when I got my own place. Haven't looked at it in close to two decades, and Winnie shredded the top cover, but the recipe was there alright.”

“Gotta admit, I’m impressed. That looks real fucking professional Duck.”

“Thanks man.” The ranger grins, cuts a slice and places it in front of Indrid (happily bundled in one of Barclay’s orange and grey flannels). The Sylph takes a forkful, scrutinizing it for a moment. Takes a bite, and chirps as he chews.

“Good?”

Wordlessly, Indrid stands, removes his glasses, and picks up the pie dish. 

“If anyone needs me, the pie and I will be in the bedroom.”

“HAH!” Duck whoops triumphantly.

“Hey, hold on, I gotta try this to see what the secret is” Barclay takes off down the hall after him.

“No, mine, AH! Unhand me, I am the court seer.”

Duck flops against Stern as he doubles over, laughing. 

“Fine, I gotta try it sir.” Barclays voice dips lower, and Stern sees him shift into his Sylph form. 

“Don’t try to sweet talk me, this pie is mineOHgoodness, put me down.”

“Wanna know the secret?” The ranger says between giggles. 

“Please.”

“I tripled the amount of sugar it called for.”

“Good thinking, ranger Newton.” Stern kisses him, “care to help me arbitrate a cryptid fight?”

Duck grins at him, love in every line of his face as laughter rings down the hallway, “lead the way, darlin.”

#promptober #OT4: Government Men and Their Cryptid Boyfriends #indruck #indrid cold/duck newton #sternclay #agent stern/barclay/indrid cold/Duck newton #agent stern/barclay #agent stern/duck newton #Indrid cold/Barclay #trans stern #trans duck newton

[douxie-casperan]

a memory of their father :)

The first few months behind the looming walls surrounding the castle’s innerworkings were proving stressful to say the least. Everything was so different to what Douxie had grown used to from the clothes he was expected to wear, the strict rules he was expected to follow and court manners which he was having additional instruction on multiple times a week on to ensure he could only ever give the best impression. When asked why this was so important the answer he received was a simple one, it is better to put your best foot forward than start on the back and have to work even harder to reach the same place. Prodding for clarification because that didn’t make much sense, after a small sigh he was informed that should anyone regardless of status discover his origins after he had already proved himself with a willingness to adapt it should not hurt his personal standing with them. Politics of the Court are like an ever evolving yet constant game of chess and by doing some of the leg work himself it would improve how people would interact with him more than relying entirely on his title of apprentice to carry him through.

To the now 10 year old it still sounded a bit silly but if it would help make life easier in the long run and given who said it, he didn’t see any reason to argue though he could not wait for those lessons to finally be over lest his head simply fall off from the amount of information he was being expected to memorise just to blend in.

Now for him the biggest novelty of being in Camelot as a citizen (?) was never having to worry about food after a lifetime of it being a constant worry and in how the kitchen staff sometimes snuck him a little bit extra for his plate or pouch and fussed as if he was one of their own. He always did try to be polite if he saw any of them, maybe that had something to do with it? Then he’d managed to try so many brand-new things already too! Lumbolls were possibly one of his favourites, those and the ryschewys though in both cases they are a bit on the special side in not being made often but whenever he got his hands on either after splitting them in half to share with Archie just like they used to while savouring each and every bite down to the last tiny pastry fleck.

His day to day duties when not indulging his ever growing sweet tooth weren’t quite what he had been expecting but he took to them with great enthusiasm anyway with an underlining fear of seeming ungrateful at the unique chance he’d been given accompanied if he did otherwise. These were often in the form of cleaning with a broom or scrubbing with a brush where directed, fetching enchantment ingredients required from the stores or occasionally elsewhere, sorting the books on shelves to finding one that might be needed and more often than not simply carrying things or acting as an extra pair of hands when the wizard needed. He didn’t mind particularly, it felt like he was being useful with the knowledge that if anybody asked he could truthfully respond that he was an errand helping the nerves. Sure they might have used the odd opportunity to do some exploring where they probably shouldn’t have been but knowing the terrain was important as was a quick escape route when knights are wandering around. Being a bit late from going the long way was a much better option than running into any of them, if the life before now had proved anything it was that being cautious was wise, the ones who disappeared were usually the ones that relied purely on luck and didn’t have at least three places to bolt for if things started to turn…

He wasn’t about to let his fear of where a mistake could lead him hold him back from doing anything but he wasn’t exactly about to ignore it completely either. Week by week his mental map was growing and most simply assumed he was getting better at navigating the halls which was true in a sense at least.

The other important note was how use of any form of magic was not permitted unless under the strict supervision of his regular lessons which included the cuff being held in Master Merlin’s workshop as a precaution both as much for himself and any who might realise it was more than for mere decoration. He was also told that if he stuck to this very important rule while being careful about how much he said beyond the closed door he would be allowed to keep his familiar with him if with an additional request that he posed as a cat. In both cases neither would be forever, it was simply important to keep up appearances and thus help ensure their safety in turn. Both figured the room they had been given Archie would be allowed to stretch his wings but they were always careful just in case someone might barge in and hoped might even be allowed to while being tutored as well soon. They were allowed to talk as long as there was no risk of being overheard mind, it was such an ingrained habit at this point neither could figure out why it needed to be brought up in the first place.

Today though was one of those that felt like the work was never done thanks to a chore list longer than a horse’s leg designed to keep him out of everyone’s hair while a big meeting was going on about things he didn’t have the privilege to hear even a hint of. Presently that left him on his hands and knees scrubbing away at the floor that had suffered more than it’s fair share of feet tracking through and was starting to become unsightly as a result with a cat, sans glasses just in case, pointing out any spot he missed while enjoying his own opportunity of being leisurely in the quiet afternoon sun. While he works it is the man who had been so curt in the morn who is currently occupying his thoughts, the same who felt like a as enigmatic now as he was the day they had first met.

"Hey Archie, is this what having a father is like?" Douxie asks suddenly out the blue whilst sounding a mite unsure, his previously focused expression turning into a frown that stares down at the brush he is holding.

"Or parent even, I don't really have any point of reference."

“Hmm? Ah, you are referring to the Master Wizard I presume.” He gets a nod in return and is given rapt attention by his charge.

“Certainly strict as one I would say and he does at least appear to have your interests at heart even if his methodology I cannot say I always agree with.”

“How so?”

“While there are times where your exact pronunciation matters such as spellwork for instance needing to be very precise and yours can lapse at times, he seems to act like any of the descriptions of usage is somehow beyond your reading comprehension unless a single sentence is stretched out by the syllable then repeated over and over until we’re all positively bored of hearing it. Quite a contrast given he still expects you to transcribe extracts to improve your handwriting ability,” comes an answer with a tail twitch.

“You will struggle to say some words in the expected manner which is more than fair but that does not mean you are unable to read anything put in front of you when it is the common language you are already used to.”

“Oh.” Douxie’s brow knits together in thought as it did make sense but there had to be a reason, never he did was without one, he’d come to realise that already.

“Unless it is something I should not be seeing yet?”

“Perhaps, it is not the impression he is giving me however. I do wonder however if he’s stalling deliberately? We are being kept in the dark there might be something else going on we are yet to be aware of.”

“Well he is the Master Wizard that must mean you have a few secrets and I am sure we will find out eventually!” He says taking a moment to give his arms a good stretch, a firm shake then goes back to scrubbing humming away a little as he does.

“It has only been a few months so far, maybe being mysterious is his big thing and it is all a test.”

“Indeed, we just might yet.”

It was late eve by the time he was finally finished with everything which had culminated in locating an older tome documenting the usage of tools from his sneaky glance at the first few pages though he darted away at the first sign of footsteps coming. Merlin had returning bringing a distinct lack of tension in his shoulders compared to what had been there for what felt like weeks causing the pair to look at one another confused not daring to say a word. The meeting is not mentioned nor is any question directed in regards to what had been accomplished either which was very unusual when he seemed to be keeping tabs on what sorts of things they had been up to when not under his feet. After checking that what he had asked was not sitting on the bench with a satisfied sound that could almost be taken as relieve, his cloak sweeps round as he takes the few steps to place a hand on the young boy’s head with a smile akin to the one he had once given at the gates causing him to blink a little bewildered.

“Well my boy, it would appear your patience has paid off. From tomorrow how do you feel in regards to learning some real magic?”

Douxie’s grin could not have been any wider if it tried.

#trollamulet #No facts truer than a good meme #Camelot of ages past

[mrneighbourlove]

Forging of an Empress: Ch 1. A Glass Floor Partnership

Zannah, Emperor of the 'Kikai Empire' was losing hope.

The young woman was still in exile, seeking out the last of her people scattered across the continent. Her last trip led her to Labrynna, where she had to make deals and do favours for the lords that kept her people as refugees until a new home could be acquired. Both Hyrule and Danjur exiled them for the destruction Zannah and her people caused in the War of Fire. That was only three years ago. Now, turning twenty in three days, she was picking up the last of the pieces.

Al-Daida was rumored to be holding her strongest warriors. If she could convince them that her claim to the throne was justified, the rest of her people would rally to her. Truth was, she knew little of the country. Unfortunately, she could only travel with one escort. A single Theron guard. Given a basic map from the lords of Labrynna, she followed a long road through dry desert heats and finding roads to reach the capital city. "Din. Water please."

The black armoured warrior offered a thermos, which the princess found there was only a few drops left.

"Great." As the sun bared down on her, Zannah tried to not pant. The city must have been close.

Meanwhile, in Matriarch Fayruz's palace, she was enjoying the attentions of her newest additions. Well, somewhat new. She had acquired these lovely warriors during the War of Fire with the Kikai Empire. Needless to say, the Hasai were somewhat unruly at first. Once free, but now sold to her by the gladiator rings who had found them half-dead on the battlefield and nursed back to health for entertainment.

"Now, now, don't fuss, there's plenty of love for everyone." Fayruz told her bed mates when one hissed at the other. "I know you don't like to share, but there's more than enough of me for all my little pets." She kissed the cheek of one Hasai male, then the other, and even a beautiful female. "Bennu still needs me in one piece for our meeting later. I shouldn't remind you of how you have to act. Are you going to behave?"

A knock came at her door. A servant bowed his head, being respectful as possible to not insult the Matriarch. "My Matriarch. I bring news to you. There is a green skinned Hasai accompanied by a bodyguard in black and red armour asking around about the whereabouts of other Hasai."

Most of the Hasai that Fayruz owned were broken, but the blue skinned woman looked up, a sense of shock filling her. "Princess Zannah?"

"Ah, the princess? I thought she was dead from the war." Fayruz stood from the bed in her silken robes. "Help me dress, little pets. Tell the newcomer that if she wishes to know more information of her people to come to the palace. Have Bennu cancel the meeting and we'll receive the princess instead. This is quite a lovely distraction."

"Yes, my Matriarch."

Down in the town, Zannah was about to lose her cool when a man asked her bodyguard if she was for sale. She flashed the slaver a flash of fire. "Back off."

"Are you Princess Zannah?"

Zannah and her bodyguard turned to the palace servant. He had a mark on his shoulder that told others exactly who owned him. "Yes. I am Zannah. I hold both the title of Emperor and Empress in the absence of a husband."

"My humblest apologies... Emperor. My Matriarch wishes to have an audience about the Hasai you seek."

Zannah felt her hair stand on its end. This was what she was looking for. "Take me to this Matriarch."

"Of course. Of course." Arriving at the palace, the servant was quick to whisper to Fayruz as Zannah waited outside for the Matriach to prepare herself. "My Matriarch. She claims to be both Empreror and Empress of the Kikai Empire."

Fayruz was always one for finery. The best of the best and nothing less was acceptable. As the servants escorted in the princess and her bodyguard, the pair walked over a bridge. There was a tiny moat on the inside of the throne room, with crystal clear water from the nearby river flowing through it. The floors were made of marble and the columns holding up the open courtyard roof were composed of matching stone with elaborate engravings. The Hasai servants were by her fainting couch, one holding a tray of fruit and cheese while the other held wine. Her husband, Bennu, stood at her side, stoic and intimidating as ever. "It is a delight to see that you are alive. I heard rumors that you were with the spirits now." Fayruz looked at how ragged the princess was. "Why are you in my country, child? You have to know there are no friends for you here."

Although Zannah was in mere robes, she would not be the weaker link here. Her entire three-year journey was an uphill battle of keeping her mental fortitude strong. "Rumors of my death were greatly exaggerated. Child? You look about the same age as I, Matriarch. I am here in your country because I am here to collect my people. The time has come for all the Hasai to become united once more. This is my right as Emperor. This is my duty as Empress." Her brows furled at the sight of the Hasai servants serving her. "The Hasai people are not slaves."

"A child thinks he or she has a right to demand whatever it is they wish." Fayruz's dark eyes lifted upward from her chalice of wine. "And that's exactly why you're here, isn't it? To demand back your people?" She stood from her chair and gently cupped the blue female's chin. "Though I've grown quite fond of my little pets. They are beautiful, fierce, and very loving in bed. I've no wish to part with them." She then returned her gaze to Zannah. "And you've nothing to offer."

"I know I cannot simply take them away." Zannah took a silent breath as she assessed the situation. And to cool her growing fury. "I offer an alliance with my Empire. A partnership. As of now, I have nothing except my word to offer."

Zannah's bodyguard felt their fist tighten. His Empress' anger was his own.

"Allying myself with a dead kingdom? What foolishness do you speak of? A word is nothing unless you have a foundation to build it upon, and child, you have nothing but ruins underneath your feet." Fayruz scoffed at Zannah's statement. "This is Al-Daida. Words mean nothing here. It is actions." Her silken dress trailed behind her as she circled around another Hasai, one of the males, and kissed his cheek tenderly. "Tell me, child, would you offer yourself to save them?"

"I would rather kill them so that they retain their honour." Her hands sparked with electricity, and her bodyguard took aim at one of the Hasai servants with dart-wrist launcher. "To offer myself would destroy what's left of the Empire. I will not sell myself and have the Empire lose the last of its strength. If you will not return me my people, I'd rather see them burn so that there will be no weak Hasai left."

Although they were two Hasai, and might as well be the only Hasai left on the earth as far as Fayruz was concerned, they weren't willing to throw their honour away so easily.

"Hm, seems that you've already learned a few hard lessons, being in a position of power." Fayruz did not even flinch when the guard raised his weapon and Zannah summoned her electricity. "Oh, and if I were you, I'd lower that little sparky show and toy of yours. Naunet doesn't appreciate any threats in my presence and she's right behind you."

The monstrous crocodile released a low growl from behind Zannah and her bodyguard. It was far larger than normal for the breed. Yet, what many people did not know was Naunet was half drake and half crocodile; hence her strong body armor and lengthy size. For now, she did not move, except for a small flick of her tail. The matriarch continued, "Is honor more important than life to your people?"

Zannah and her Theron wisely lowered their weapons and magic. Zannah wondered indeed. "Tell me what exactly it is you want from me? I'm sure we can come to some sort of enragement that benefits us both."

"You stated you'd offer an alliance, but you don't even know how to strike a proper bargain or make requests of another royal." Once again, Fayruz asked, "Would you offer yourself for people? Behind every glorious kingdom is a king or a queen who knows how to run their country smoothly and keep their citizens happy. If you are not even ready to do that, then you have no right to call yourself 'princess' of the Hasai." She slowly took the steps downward, one by one. "This is what I propose, little one. True, I am only a few years older than you, yet, I have my entire country under my thumb... and they love me for it. Yet, at the same time, they know I would do whatever necessary to protect them." The matriarch stopped mere inches away from Zannah's face. She was incredibly beautiful, extremely sly, and terrifyingly powerful with her movements, her seduction, and her poetic words. "You want to offer me an alliance with your dead kingdom. You want a chance to build it up from scratch, but do not have the means to do so." The matriarch then stated, "Offer yourself to me and I shall teach you what you need to know on how to be a proper ruler. One year. And I'll release all of your people under lock and key in my country."

"One Year?" Zannah held her expression with neutrality.

"I can extend it if you don't think you can learn that fast." Fayruz turned around, the silk still dragging behind her. "Or dismiss it if you're not willing. It's up to you and your pretty guard there."

"He has an expressionless helmet." It seemed Zannah was not well versed on humour. "One year is nothing to the life I've endured. Very well. I accept your terms. I will follow your terms. On the one condition that any slaves of Hasai decent in your kingdom are transferred to your care. I do not wish to have others bring lasting harm to them."

"Very well, I could use a few more beautiful faces around here." Fayruz then gestured to her eldest servant, Uzi. "This here is Uzi. He is my most trustworthy servant. He will show you to your quarters." Then she gave a fair warning, "Also, I'd advise against trying anything suspicious. Naunet will know. I will know. Do behave nicely, child."

Zannah resisted the urge to back to her. “Din. Return to refugee camps. Tell the surviving council members that their Empress is conducting a year long term and trading agreement. I will be disposed until such a time as I am done here.”

“Yes, my Empress.” With her only ally gone, Zannah gave Uzi a nod. “Show me to my quarters please.”

"This way, please." Uzi hobbled along, a slightly limp in his leg. He was an old Nara, but had served the royal family ever since his birth. Opening a room of grandeur, he smiled, "I hope it is to your liking. The bath is to the left. When you're hungry, a servant will escort you to the dining hall. If you like, I could assign you a Hasai servant or a Nara. Which would you prefer?"

“A Nara. I will not have a Hasai slave serve me, unless it is for information.”

"As you wish." Uzi made a note and then informed her. "There are new clothes in the wardrobe. A servant will come help you dress before dinner. Also," He then said with a slight grimace to his face. "Naunet is known to wander the palace sometimes in search of a decent spot of sunshine. Please do not approach her unless necessary for she is prone to... uh..." He held up the back of his robes, which was ripped. "Playing."

“I see.” Zannah looked saddened by a memory on her mind. Walking to the wardrobe, she opened it up.

It was not too much later that two beautiful female Naras knocked on Zannah's door. One was petite while the other was more butch, yet both were stunning with dark kohl around their eyes and elaborate jewelry on their horns. Nearly transparent clothes adorned their bodies. "Princess, we are here to help you dress."

"Empress. Address me as Empress. I haven't been a princess for years." Zannah started to strip out of her dirty rags. She loathed the sweat she had accumulated walking through the desert, so it was nice to take off her layers.

"Empress, let us help you bath and then we'll dress you for dinner."

"We have a fine selection of perfumes and body oils."

"Do you prefer fruity scents or flowery?"

Zannah couldn't remember the last time she had maids service her. This felt different. Those that worked at the palace did so out of their free will. It was a career they were proud of. The Empress wasn't sure if these people took pride in anything. "Fruit is fine."

Walking with them to the bath, her mind went back to Hyrule. How at the tip of a blade she was forced into an ultimatum? Die with honour, or be banished and scattered.

Once Zannah was clean and dressed in the finest silks available, one servant stayed behind to clean up the bathroom while the other escorted her to the Matriarch. Fayruz was sitting at the table with her husband, Bennu, feeding him a few grapes with Naunet's large head in her lap. The crocodile was making a rumbling noise of sorts, content as could be. "Do you feel better now, child?" Fayruz asked Zannah as she approached the table. "Do sit. We have a variety of foods for you."

"I would feel better if you stop calling me child. I asked my Nara your age Matriarch. You're only a year older than myself. You are no more a child than I. We are both women. There is respect in that."

"Ages matters not." Fayruz motioned for one servant to pour some wine for their guest. "Respect is earned, not given. You've much to learn."

Zannah took the wine, carefully smelling it for its age and rawness. Swallowing, she sighed. It had been too long since she had the luxury of red wine. "I earned respect to me with the battles I waged and the experience I gained from that. Anyone else would have let the Empire die, but I alone in my bloodline have kept it alive."

"Ah, so you think your victories on the battlefield have earned you respect?" Fayruz asked her with a knowing smile. "I have never once had to raise a weapon in defense of myself or my home. My methods are different than yours, but nonetheless effective. However, getting your people united under one ruler, that is your next task, my dear."

"That is what I've been doing. Repairing my broken Empire. I can't lead a kingdom without subjects to have a flow of infrastructure." Zannah grabbed an apple, giving it a smell before crunching it down.

"True, you do need subjects." Fayruz's eyes flickered up to Zannah. "But what assurance do you have that they will follow you?"

"I hold the blood of God in my veins. To defy my word is to defy the word of Exodrum themselves. To deny what I am trying to accomplish is to deny strength in the face of adversity. Any Hasai who simply wishes to give up on the Empire should end their lives." Zannah winced at the wine in particular hit her a little hard on the last gulp down. "There some who believe we should have all died. That I should never have officially surrendered. But that was to fight on another day. No warrior only fights one battle, and we all have to accept at least one defeat in our lifetimes."

"And there is your first mistake, dear," Fayruz shook her head lightly, the adornments on her horns and ears jingling slightly. "Never assume that your people will give you automatic leadership. There is no kingdom that has lived through history without a coop or someone trying to take the thrones for themselves. Do you now the best way to keep order?"

"Force?"

"Fear and love, my dear." Fayruz corrected Zannah. "They have to be afraid of you and love you at the same time. My people know better than to disobey me, but love that I offer them protection and stability. You must to the same to ensure the Hasai stay under your rule and do not bow to another."

"Love is an illusion made by fools."

"Oh? Are you sure about that, dear?" Fayruz asked her. "All rulers are required to give an heir. Will you say the same when you have children? A lover?"

"There is no love in reproduction. It is simply a necessary act to continue bloodlines. Love is a fable that people seek to feel more secure that they won't die alone. A family’s love is unreal. And friends can respect you and like you, but there is no love there."

"Very well, keep that ideology if you like, but one day, I'll have the opportunity to say 'I told you so'." Fayruz chuckled as she tapped Naunet's snout twice and the huge reptile opened her jaws. Plopping inside a piece of meat, the matriarch then tapped once and the crocodile swallowed her treat. "The first lesson you will need to learn is fear and... let's say for your sake, adoration, go hand in hand. You cannot have one without the other. You must not be afraid to make examples of those who try to betray you." Snapping her fingers, the guards brought forth a captured assassin, a Nara, just like Fayruz herself. "This here is an assassin who tried to target me a few days before your arrival. He's displeased that his brother was sent to work in the mines to pay off a debt."

"Why have you not strung him up by his entrails, and have his corpse paraded around your city? An assassin wanting to destabilize your government cannot be forgiven. They are a cowardly lot who don't engage in open combat."

"Simple, dear... I had to find his brother first."

Another guard brought in the sibling in handcuffs, startled and surprised to his brother here as well. "What did you do?!"

"What needed to be done!"

"Now we're both going to be killed."

"Do be silent, you're interrupting my conversation." Fayruz kissed Naunet's snout and stood from her chair, the giant crocodile following her. "Now, you see, this is where the 'non-existent' love of yours comes into play. He tried to kill me out of love for his brother, to save him from the mines." She cooed to Naunet. "My darling, tell your mama, which one would you like to eat?"

"No!" The assassin inched forth on his knees, bowing his head. "Let her eat me! I'm the one who tried to kill you! My brother had nothing to do with this!"

Zannah’s face frowned heavily. It was already being spread outside the borders of Ganondorf brutally killing her twin brother as the stuff of legends. Legend. That term mortified Zannah. She felt there was no doubt this was some kind of psychological test from Fayruz. "You must kill the assassin. A fair ruler would punish the offender and the offender alone."

"There's more than one way to make the offender suffer, even you must know that." Fayruz then approached the brother of the assassin. "You were taken to the mines to pay off a debt than you tried to run from. Now, your brother tried something very foolish because of your actions."

"It's my fault! I gambled, and I couldn't pay back the loss." The brother insisted, "Please, don't hurt my brother! He was only trying to help me."

"But he did try to kill me and I cannot let that go unpunished."

"Then punish me instead!"

"Shut up, I'm the one who tried to kill her, let the reptile eat me!"

"You're in this mess because of me!"

"You're my brother, I'd do anything for you!"

"See?" Fayruz turned to look at Zannah. "It's easy to use love and turn it into fear." She then ordered. "Death would be too easy. Naunet."

"Hrrrrnnnngggh?" The crocodile looked up at her mistress.

"Take the assassin's hands."

Zannah mussed as the crocodile came forward. As the man screamed over the wet crunches of bones, she didn't look away. "Why not kill him? He has no value to you now. Without his hands he is nothing."

"That's exactly my point, dear," Fayruz had the most twisted smile on her face. "Now, he's nothing."

Zannah paused, not having considered that. Her eyes then opened with an epiphany. In her silent complexation, she couldn't hide a fury.

"Take them away and clean up this mess." Fayruz ordered her servants and resumed her seat. Taking a napkin, she dabbed at the blood around Naunet's mouth when the crocodile approached her for praise. "My second lesson to you, Zannah... sometimes, there is fates worse than death." She then added, "And for third, you must not let emotions show through. If I can see what you're thinking, then others will too. They will use this against you. A good ruler allows emotion to take a backseat."

"Did Rinku of Hyrule intend this for me? A fate worse than death? Ganondorf was going to initially kill me. I could have died with dignity until she spoke up."

"That is a question that only Rinku has the answer to, dear." Fayruz finished cleaning Naunet's snout. "Good girl, you're a very good girl!"

"NRRRRRHHHH!"

"Now, sit and eat. You need to put some skin on those bones."

Zannah looked at a silver plate that shone her reflection clearly. Did she really show that much of her emotions? Taking a bite of chicken, she bit into it like a dragon.

"Eat as much as you like," Fayruz then elaborated. "Tomorrow, we will talk politics. How to get what you want, or if you cannot reach the ultimate desire, how to compromise. And most importantly," She took a sip of her wine. "When to know you are defeated."

"I know when I am defeated Matriarch. I know that all too well." ________________________________________________________________

Next Ch: 

Partner Writing with @ridersoftheapocalypse

#Crossover writing #Al-Daida #Kikai Empire #Hasai #Zannah #Fayruz

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115 Fantastic Happy Birthday Funny Messages. best wishes

Best Funny happy birthday wishes

Looking for the perfect Happy birthday funny messages & pictures to brighten someone's day? Whether it's someone you know, or someone you're friends with, or even someone who's lost their birthday wish, we have all the humorous birthday wishes you'll need and absolutely enjoy.

Fun should be an integral part of our life and must be on the occasions of Good days of life. The funny wishes and fun notes are sure to make their day brighter and make them laugh! Send them in greeting cards, by SMS, or via Facebook and Twitter!

Here you will find quick-links to specific sections and the complete list of funny birthday quotes and wishes.

funny birthday message to my best friend

You have many friends, but some of them have a special badge of a best friend, so they need special attention, more time to spend with them and priority over others in your life. If you want to wish them well on their special day, here are some great happy birthday funny messages to make them smile.

1.Wish you a happy birthday, sweetheart, and keep smiling until I have enough evidence to send you to the mental asylum.

2.Use these funny happy birthday quotes to wish someone a very happy birthday and poke fun at their age. You can use them in a card message, a Facebook caption, or even a t-shirt.

3.Statistics tell us you will live longer if you have the most birthdays (but it has also been proven that too many birthdays will kill you.

4. I know you are celebrating your birthday, but you can't stop your favorite food items from being right in front of you.

5.Happy birthday! After all those years and yet another year, you still haven't become wiser.

6.On your birthday, you can always depend on me to let loose with a night to remember in the morning.

7. Do not let age catch you down... it is too hard to bounce back!

8.On your birthday, I have something gluten-free, completely calorie-free, and absolutely delightful gift. Guess, what I have for you? Yes, you are right... It's a text message!

9. The kind of friend I am, I forgot your age.

10. I can't believe how fast time flies when you're having fun! When did we get so old?

11. The fact that we managed to keep this friendship going despite generational differences is wonderful.

Funny messages and wishes for girlfriend.

Having a girlfriend is a privilege no one must forget to wish on special occasions, and everyone would like to do something out of the ordinary to strengthen the bond of friendship and love.

It seems that funny happy birthday messages do the job perfectly. A good and funny note can put your lover's smile on her face and this is the ultimate goal of greeting them. Here is a compilation of some fine wishes messages for your girlfriend.

12. The one and only time I lied to you was when I said I'd love you forever, but realized that i couldn't live that long..

13. Last night, I dreamed of you while hugging my pillow. I wish one day I could dream about my pillow and be hugging you.

14. Regardless of what economists may say, you are the only one for me. There is no one else I can replace you with.

15. If my eyes are bothering me, I can't remove them from you.

16. Falling from the sky or a tree is fine, but the finest way to fall in love is with you! Happy Birthday my sweetheart.

17. The proverb goes wrong that a picture is worth a thousand words, but after looking at yours, I have no words to describe!

18. I'm no gambler, but I guess I'm just betting with my heart and mind that I will never stop loving you.

19. Too much smiling has caused me to develop wrinkles. Stop being so lovely! It drives me crazy..

20. It's evident that I adore you, from the sparkle in your eyes.

21. I hope your birthday is as awesome as your hair in high school.

You may check out: 71 Birthday Wishes in Unique Style- Best Bday messages

Best humorous wishes for boyfriend

22. We will lock up our hearts together and toss away the key; I give my heart to you; do give yours to me.

23. Because monopoly is always harmful and competition is always beneficial, it makes sense to have many crushes and flirts instead of just one true love! An economic theory on love.

24.  Whenever we're together, you make me feel so young. Thank you for being the first.

25. It's a pleasure to celebrate the birthday of someone I hope will be my friend, even when we're too senile to remember each other's birthdays.

26. Happy birthday to a person who is charming and talented, as well as witty, and is much like myself.

27. It is your birthday, so we will eat fired up baked goods and sing at you while you sit there awkwardly.

28. Happy birthday. Thanks for being older than me all your life.

29. Wishing you a unique birthday wish every year would be difficult. Choosing a special wish for next year would be even more challenging, so I'll just say happy birthday.

30. Despite the truth that today would be a perfect time to write sweet words about my best friend in the world, I already finished my autobiography a month ago.

Happy birthday funny messages for brother

Depending on your brother's personality and what type of relationship you have with him, these next funny birthday wishes for brothers could be just the thing for you to give him a laugh on his birthday too!

Hoping that these happy birthday funny messages will amaze your dear brother on his birthday, so keep scrolling to choose the perfect one.

31.That's all you really need for a gift. Just saying. Happy birthday!

32. Although it's hard to understand why we're celebrating your day since only mom did all the efforts. Happy birthday!

33. I am amazed at how long we have tolerated each other. Happy Birthday.

34. Your birthday falls at just the right age. You are old enough to see your mistakes, but still young enough to make more. Happy Birthday!

35. Wishing you a happy birthday! Hope you have a day as beautiful as a unicorn farting rainbows!

36. Hey big bro! They say that as you get older your intellect grows, but since we keep doing the same stupid thing we did as kids, we must be the exception to that rule.

37. It's my brother's birthday and he's smart, funny, witty, charming… and a lot like me!

38. I'm glad you're finally 21 and can finally do all those things you've been doing since you were 16! Happy birthday!

39. There's only one person you can be completely idiotic with through thick and thin. So glad I have you, bro! Have a great birthday!

40. After searching the web for 3 hours, I gave up trying to find the perfect birthday message for you. Happy Birthday.

41. When I thought about what I would get you for your birthday, I realized you already have me. Thank you very much. Happy birthday!

You may check out the amazing article

Funny happy birthday wishes for a lil sister

Finding funny happy birthday wishes for your younger sister has never been easier, with a wide selection of funny greetings, funny jokes, and wishes. We have all the best, cute, beautiful, and sweet words to bring a smile to your little angel's face.

42. I wish you a very happy birthday to the sassiest, coolest, and funniest little sister in the world!

43. Congratulations on your birthday, little sister, you may have always been smarter than me, but you have always been my best friend.

44. I will always love you for being my little monkey, but you've grown up, happy birthday Lil sister

45. My parents never gave me a pet before you were born, but after you were born I finally got a pet. Happy birthday, Sister I hope you never grow up.

46. You are not only funny but also crazy, just like your sister. No one else has a sister like you. Happy Birthday.

47. Thank you for being the most competitive person I have ever encountered in my life. Why couldn't you accept my win against you? I didn't understand. Happy Birthday my little sister

48. Happy Birthday, sis. I will always think of you as my silly little sister, no matter how tall or wise you get.

49. I love you, dear one, and I will love you until the very end. Despite your age, it doesn't mean you are any better or worse off than I am. I love you.

50. You have indeed given me nerves of steel, Happy Birthday little sister.

Happy birthday funny wishes for father

Regardless of your age, dad always celebrates your birthday well. Now, it's his turn to celebrate and have a great party! Use the best Funny Birthday Wishes for Father to show how much you respect the humor and zest for life your dad possesses. Your father is the best man you know, so give him a happy birthday celebration with Funny Birthday Wishes for Father he'll remember and love!

51. I know it's not an easy job being a dad, but it's done with class and style. Happy birthday to the father who does it all.

 52. Your schedule is just like that of a student with a lot of classes. Happy birthday, Dad!

53. Happy birthday dad, I'm sorry I can't be there to wish you a happy birthday in person, but please know that I think of you on your special day. Thanks for everything you do! Can't wait to see you again!

54. Here's a fun fact-you're not getting older, but you take great pleasure in making bad jokes. Enjoy more of those, Dad, and happy birthday!

55. Having said that, I know that today is your birthday, but that does not make it a holiday, so I'm not too excited about it. Just kidding. Happy birthday to an important man!

56. It's been a week since I thought of what to write in a funny birthday message for you. But I couldn't think of anything funny. Happy birthday!

57. Your mother told me that, even though you're getting older, you're not becoming any wiser. You should be grateful for the information she shared with you. Just kidding.

Happy birthday funny messages for husband

It makes sense, then, that, at least once every three hundred and sixty-five days, we owe ourselves something special. And on those days, consciously or subconsciously, we all crave to be celebrated by others. It is especially important to celebrate our spouse's birthday every year. After all, our spouse is our better half. Who else will do it?

58. You transformed everything about companionship when we met. It still amazes me how amazing you remain throughout our marriage. Happy birthday, dear husband.

 59. I count my blessings twofold, honey because you brought light and fragrance into my life on the hardest of days. Happy birthday to you, love.

60. I wish you the most beautiful days of your life because you are the most amazing human ever. Have a great day, my prince charming.

61. Even if I were reincarnated as a woman multiple times and found you every time, I would never marry anyone else. Happy birthday to you.

62. Thank you for being devoted, supportive, enthusiastic, compassionate, creative, strong and resourceful. You are an amazing human being and I love you more than anything.

63. I feel safe and prepared for any obstacle with you by my side. You are a fantastic teammate, and I love you for that. Happy birthday, dear.

64. I celebrate you every day, so there is no need to limit my celebration to one day. But let me take this opportunity to remind you how deeply I love you. Happy birthday, dear!

Best birthday messages and wishes for Mother

Whether you agree or disagree with me, mothers are the best! If the mother you have is not your best, that's huge! Mothers are truly God's gift to us. Mothers know how to shed tears and smile when necessary. They give so freely for you when no one else will. They sacrifice a lot to make you happy. Mothers are gold! They deserve the best! 65. Despite being the best mom in the world, I can't express how much I love you enough to wish you an amazing birthday.

66. I appreciate how patient and loving you have been with me. Thank you for letting me wish you a wonderful birthday.

67. It is the greatest honor of my life to celebrate my mother's birthday. She is the most wonderful mother a person could ask for.

68. Cheers to a terrific birthday and a successful year to come for the best mom in the world.

69. In return, I wish you all the happiness on your birthday. I am extremely lucky to have a mother like you who is caring, kind, and giving.

70. Mom is a great mother who brought me into this world and has loved me ever since. And to your mom for bringing you into this world, which gave us the opportunity to celebrate your birthday today.

71. Having been born to you makes me feel more blessed than I could not imagine. Happy birthday to my great Mom

72. Your love and guidance led me to where I am today, and I would like to express my gratitude for your birthday.

73. My mom, you always put in a lot of effort to make this day special, but now it's my turn to make it memorable.

Happy birthday funny note for wife

After spending a long time married to one's sweetheart, you might want to express your gratitude, show your love and give her additional attention whenever there is another reason to celebrate. On her birthday, you will obviously want to look for a unique present, yet it is important that you also share your thoughts.

If your wife doesn't want a physical gift, or if you don't have one, here are dozens of birthday wishes for her that you can use as inspiration or use as is. It's the acknowledgment or attention she gets from you that really makes her birthday magical.

74. It is the one day out of the year I put my wife's mother-in-law in my prayers. Happy birthday, sweetheart!

75. PI is like how much I love you, darling wife: endless and never-ending.

76. Unless I use Nutella on my toast or ice cream on my apple pie, I wouldn't eat my honeybun without you. Happy Birthday, my beautiful wife.

77. The only thing better than bacon… and that's a lot… is my love for you.

78. Thank you for being the only copilot I'd ever want. Happy Birthday

79. Happy Birthday to my beautiful, thoughtful, intelligent wife! I am lucky enough to be your husband…but you only surpassed my luck by being mine!

Funny wishes for daughter's birthday

Here you will find an impressive range of heartwarming happy birthday funny messages for daughters to inspire you. Whether you're looking for a short message to send or a thoughtful card, you'll find something here to suit your needs.

80. Our beautiful daughter celebrated her birthday today! We love you so much, Mom and Dad!

81. Getting you the best present possible makes my day complete. Wish you a day filled with sunshine, rainbows, laughter, and fun!

82. Happy birthday to our daughter, we wish you all the best.

83. We are so happy to have you in our lives, Sweetie! We're so glad you're kind, fun, and crazy!

84. My dear daughter, I hope your day is as wonderful as you are, as shiny as your doll’s grin. Thanks for everything.

85. Having you in it makes the world a better place! Although we need to be smarter in handling you and our dishes has been a challenge. Happy birthday, lovely daughter!

86. Thank you for being such an amazing friend and we wish you a wonderful birthday. Love from Mom and Dad 

87. I love having you as a daughter. Thank you for being mine. Happy birthday darling, love from Mom.

Birthday funny wishes for daughter-in-law

You can find so many amazing funny happy birthday wishes and messages for your daughter-in-law right here on our website. Make sure you take advantage of them and send them to her!

You can pick from our extensive collection of original birthday wishes to transform your beloved daughter-in-law’s birthday into an unforgettable experience she will cherish for years to come.

88. It's a wonderful birthday wish to a daughter-in-law blessed to have such a great mother and father-in-law.

89. Thank you so much for not being a malicious daughter-in-law towards me on your birthday, dearest. I can't thank you enough.

90. Thank you so much for putting my son on the map. Without you, he would certainly be nothing - just as teens would be nothing without smartphones and social media accounts. Happy birthday!

91. The idea that daughter-in-laws are wicked and difficult is wrong. May the good Lord bless you abundantly for not being a witchy in-law. Have a great birthday.

92. Have a wonderful birthday! Did you know that science-backed studies have proven over and over again that too many birthdays lead to premature death?

93. While we celebrate your birthday, dear daughter-in-law, I find my mind wondering about the rumors that you were so old your first car was a covered wagon. I hope you will take this opportunity to clarify that issue once and for all!

humorous birthday messages for Mother-in-law

Birthdays are the most glorious days on earth and so, without doubt, they are always special to the individual who celebrates them. So, a funny message of happy birthday and a lovely wish to your MIL on her birthday would really make her happy and tell her that you love her, too.

94. In honor of your birthday, I am sending you a belated birthday message. I hope you accept it ma.

95. Enjoy your birthday, no matter how noisy we are. May you find the energy and patience to put up with our annoying habits. Happy birthday.

96. How wonderful my mother-in-law is, she is just terrific, and I'm sure she will serve me a bottle of Fanta today.

97. Mother-in-law, I couldn't have given you a better birthday gift than the precious daughter you gave me. I can only strive to be the son you never had. Happy birthday, mom!

98. You seem to be defying the laws of aging; you seem to be turning back the clock. If there is some secret to this, please share it with me. Happy birthday.

99. Lastly, I want you to know I really appreciate you not executing me while I slept for taking your precious daughter and I am so thankful I still have a wonderful mother-in-law.

How to wish your boss in a funny tone?

A leader's job can be challenging, but it can also be rewarding. Keeping clients satisfied and having respect from employees is important for success on the job. You should let your boss know he/she is appreciated and that you are happy to work together, especially on his/her birthday. You will not only make your boss's day more exciting by sending happy birthday funny messages, but you may even brighten your own, as well.

100. During this intensive year, your support has been vital to many people and the company. Thank you for everything you do.

101. You are an example of all that is good in this company, and I see you making smart decisions all the time that benefit both the company and our clients. You truly are a great role model for us all.

102. We are so grateful to you for being such a blessing in our lives! You are a treat and a blessing.

103. Congratulations on your birthday to someone who makes every day go by without any bumps and plenty of laughter!

104. Let's take this day to honor you and your excellent leadership!

105. Your leadership stands out! Happy birthday and here's to many more years of fabulous leadership!

106. What does it matter if we don't visit you anymore? It's true! You're the best boss around.

107. What does it matter if we don't visit you anymore? It's true! You're the best boss around.

Funny happy birthday to co-worker

If you work together with unity and uniformity for 8+ hours daily, then you have spent one-third of your life together with your colleague. Your colleague also needs to be congratulated on their birthday with funny happy birthday messages.

108. Throughout your life, I wish you many adventures, heartfelt moments, and many more milestones. Happy Birthday.

109. You make this place tolerable - and that is hard to do! Happy Birthday! Come grab some lunch or drinks soon!

110. A birthday is a reminder that the world is waiting for you to dream, to move forward, to fulfill your dreams. Happy birthday!

111. Congratulations, we're not sure how old you are yet. Only you, God, and Human Resources know your true age.

112. I am honored to work with you, thank you so much for all of your help and guidance, and I wish you a happy birthday.

113. Progress is a matter of faith, unity, and patience. I wish you great success as long as you hold onto these principles. Happy Birthday.

114. Congratulations to my wonderful coworker who celebrates his or her bi-annual birthday today! Good luck and happiness in the years to come!

115. Congratulations to our very special colleague. Wishing you and your family the most abundant blessings and may your life always be filled with joy.

funny happy birthday thank you message