#he is being boiled all the time aaaa aaa aaa | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

normal-thoughts-official · 3 years

Note

Tw abuse, drug addiction, mentions of Shadowhunter racism, sexual abuse and all Camille related shittiness. (1) Right so how do we feel about Camille using yin fen to further manipulate Magnus and make him stay? I mean obviously Camille’s not the only vampire in the world but I’m sure Camille would convince him to stay with her and only get yin fen from her and the ways she could further manipulate and abuse him is....ouch. -

She could just up and leave suddenly and leave Magnus in withdrawal with no idea when she’ll be back, making it seem like it’s his fault she left and furthering Magnus belief that he needs her. When she comes back she calls Magnus pathetic, ‘I mean she was only gone a few days and he’s already like this, this is why no one loves you Magnus your just a pathetic waste of space’ and that goes on for a while, I’m not really sure what the breaking point would be or if cat and ragnor get him out of there, but either way he gets out and there’s lots of ups and downs and relapses and it’s painful, he has his family but he’s barley holding on and then introduce Raphael! Cause I love him and need to include some Raphael Magnus bonding any chance I get. When Raphael moves in and is struggling with his addiction Magnus tries to help the best he can but always keeping his walls up so he won’t seem weak and helpless like he feels he is but things happen insert some dramatic plot and tears and Magnus tells him about his addiction and how he understands how hard it is so Raphael can feel better cause Magnus is always helping other people at the cost of himself, is it healthy? No. But will that stop him? Also no. And cue angsty dialogue where Raphael says it’s not the same cause he hurts people with da fangs and Magnus doesn’t, like the whole aggressor vampire bloodsucking stereotype that I’m sure Shadowhunters love to use to their advantage and you’re a much better writer than me but emotions and bonding and lots and lots of angst. Djkajsjssf yeah you get it -ya boy( yeah that’s the name I’m using so you know it’s me cause I’m extremely creative )

love the name! sorry it took me so long to answer, i've been busy and i wanted to give this all the thought it deserves cuz u know me and camille angst and aaaa

i usually don't tie yin fen in with the abuse, i've seen that hc before but i don't commonly go with it (not for any reason in particular tbh except maybe that i usually use camille's abuse as a way to project my own abusers and since i never had any experience with that i don't include it in my hcs), but i do think the potential is great! (well, in an evil way, but you get it)

the whole thing about withdrawal is great because by that logic when she withdraws affection she is also withdrawing the venom so it's a double withdrawal he's experiencing and it's hard for him to differentiate between the two things, so it just ends up seeming like being without camille is even worse. and like addiction is a result of biopsychosocial factors so the fact that he became addicted in the first place indicates that he had been in a fragile state; and camille leaving plays into that fragile state, making his need for the yin fen greater, and then she isn't there to give it to him, so again it just feels like being without camille is the worst thing in the world and he just doesn't want to upset her so she doesn't leave him alone in this hell again

and then of course when she's back magnus is in a terrible state and she immediately uses it against him, saying that this is exactly why she needed some time, she can't ever be away from him, he is so needy and dependant and needs her all the time and he's smothering her, can't he see that she's exhausted? she can't live to take care of him all the time and he's just so selfish and tiring and this is why everyone but her left him

then you know... kicking him and kissing it better, saying, "look at you, what a terrible shape you are in, i don't know what you'd do without me", playing the good cop and further drilling into him that he needs her you know

and certainly magnus could get the venom from someone else but it puts him in a way too vulnerable position in front of strangers, risks other people finding out (i'm sure magnus wouldn't want people to know about his addiction just like they don't want to know about his abuse; it's ridiculous, it's pathetic and it's all his fault and he should have known better in his head obviously i'm not saying it's true but also just because it's one more thing shadowhunters and other people can use against him), and probably risks getting her mad. which is weird because she bites other people all the time, but then again, what does he want her to do, not feed herself? only drink from him? and he knows it's difficult to stop so why is he judging her for something she can't control?

but if it were the other way around she would lose it, call him a cheater and say that she doesn't deserve this, that she's done everything for him and this is how he repays her, whoring himself out for anyone else. it was supposed to be their thing, something they did for pleasure and for fun, and he had to go and become a fucking junkie, didn't he?

then later she comes back and apologizes, says she was mad but she had the right to with that he had done, and besides, she's really just worried about him, doesn't he know other people would use that to manipulate him, put him in danger? she's just looking out for him. and repeat

i'm also not sure what the breaking point would be but i think it would probably require some interventions from ragnor and cat, plus eventually these things boil. magnus is in a vulnerable position, yes, but he is still smart and he is a free spirit and he doesn't like being held down and treated like a toy and abandoned; he craves people and he craves affection and he can see how he's spiralling out of control, and i think for the longest time what keeps him tied to camille isn't love but guilt. this sense that he owes her because she saved him in the bridge, and it isn't fair of him to just break up with her. but eventually enough is enough, and plus, camille is not just an ass to him. he sees the way she treats other people, turn mundanes and then leave them to rot, and is generally a terrible clan leader. and i don't think magnus would ever want to be with someone who is openly vile and hurting others like that. he just can't live with it, magnus already has enough guilt from associating with terrible people and he cares so fucking much about others he could bleed to death from it. so eventually it's too much

don't get me wrong, he also does it for himself, and honestly i wish it was more for himself, but i do think the fact that camille is a terrible person plays an important part in him leaving her because enough is enough

about rapha!!!! you know i'm a fucking sucker for magnus and rapha angst and bonding so you've come to the right place, love of my life. i do like the idea of magnus being able to talk to raphael about it, say that he understands perfectly what he's going through. it's also interesting because they are on "opposite sides" of the addiction, and with magnus he had been in an abusive relationship that got him hooked to it, but like, it's still the same thing at the end of the day, you know?

and magnus is just like, raphael, this isn't your fault. trust me, i know what a person doing this to someone on purpose looks like. and it's a complicated thing ofc because rapha is a guilt junkie so of course the idea that he could be even remotely similar to camille eats at him, but at the same time he just... could never and magnus points that out to him, that his disgust at the idea is more than enough proof that this is not the kind of person he is

and slowly magnus helps him through his own recovery because magnus understands exactly what this is like, and he knows all the ups and downs. he knows downworlder support groups dedicated to that, he knows other people who have gone through it, he knows the importance of a support network and makes sure to give it to rapha not just in the form of himself (because no one can be a person's single source of support, it's impossible to take this much responsibility) but also by introducing him to other people like cat and ragnor and other cool vampires magnus knows. and encouraging him to eat more from blood bags because i bet rapha is the kind of person who refuses to because he feels disgusting and magnus is the one who tells him that if he adds hunger on top of withdrawal it's just going to make him feel like he needs the blood even more. so eventually raphael relents and starts eating properly

and at the same time raphael helping give magnus some closure because i think part of him still feels a bit like he was ungrateful towards camille and rapha is just adamant that that was Not the case, and camille wasn't addicted to his blood, she was using him and that's different. and just aaa raphael being the first person magnus opens up to about this that didn't already know him by the time camille rolled around, and them both helping each other and getting closure and being a support network without trying to "fix" the other, just giving options, listening, being there. ugh i love their relationship so mUCH

#sh #shadowhunters #magnus bane #raphael santiago #camille belcourt is an abuser #addiction tw #abuse tw #drugs tw #brotp: i'll do whatever it takes to protect them #camille's trash party #long post #ask #anonymous #camille angst anon #q

10 notes · View notes

yourhero404 · 5 years

Note

i know requests are closed right now, but could you possibly do this like when you have time for it?? or when requests are back open? aaa maybe have reader really insecure when she sees uraraka and katsuki hanging out more than usual? and she misinterprets it as him cheating on her?? fluffy ending pls !! aa also super angsty! thank you so much

A/N: Aaaa i’ve been out of town and I keep having to put this piece down and revisit it so hopefully its okay and makes sense !! I left it as a fem!reader this time around ^^

BAKUGO

She stood across the hallway from the 1-A classroom, standing on her tiptoes to see through the swarms of students walking down the highway. The hallways started to empty out, it was well after school now, and she rocked back and forth on her heels. Maybe her boyfriend just had some extra hero-sort of work to do- she was just in the support course, after all, she wouldn’t be surprised if he had.

What she was surprised about, however, was how he didn’t come through the door alone.

She had seen her a few times, wasn’t her name Uraraka or something? The one with the zero-gravity quirk? All she knew for sure was that this brunette was cute, and certainly had a much bubblier personality than she did; She also knew she didn’t like the feeling boiling in her chest.

The way Uraraka moved so lightly with a giant smile, it made (Y/n)’s feel unsettled. She didn’t look towards her boyfriend, her focus chained itself to the other girl; The laugh she let out made (Y/n)’s chest feel hollow- light, soft, a laugh that would normally be pleasant to her ears drove knives through her heart. Suddenly, she felt so small, insignificant, so… abandoned. She couldn’t even bring herself to look at her boyfriend in fear of what she might see- it made her instantly feel so pathetic. How was it possible to feel so negatively so quickly? Was something wrong with her? She hadn’t stopped to think about how strongly she truly felt about her boyfriend- perhaps this is what it felt like to truly trust in another person. Did he return that smile? The soft upturn of the corners of his lips, the gentle dip the subtle dimples in his cheeks give, the secrecy and confidentiality the two of them silently share each time she’s blessed with the chance of seeing the corners of his eyes crinkle in such an enthusiastic way- was he sharing those moments with her as well? The thought of someone else sharing in these moments made her feel as though she were going to throw up her own heart- it was painful and so sinfully numbing; She knew she was a fool for assuming the worst, but she was also an absolute fool for falling as hard as she had in the first place.

(Y/n) kept her eyes glued to her feet now, glaring at the worn-out patterns on her shoes and swallowing the lump that grew in her throat with each step she heard her boyfriend take towards her. Her lip quivered with each negative thought that creeped from the shadows of her mind, tears threatened the corners of her eyes and her body shook with such an intense anger that she couldn’t get her muscles to still.

“(Y/n), what’s so interesting on your shoes?” He asked, when he got no response from her, he lightly tapped the toe of his own shoe against her shin, “Earth to fucking (Y/n), where are you?”

“Are you happy?”

“Huh?” she had whispered too low for him to hear, but something about her tone started to upset him, “What are you talking about?”

“Are you happy?” she asked again, lifting her head up to face him, “With me? With her? Who are you happy with? Are you even happy?”

“Woah, hit the brakes, what are you talking about?”

“Are you cheating on me?” she whispered, tears beginning to race down the curves of her cheeks as she looked him in the eyes. “I need to know.”

“Why the fuck would I do that?” The corner of his mouth curled up both in confusion and disgust, “What kind of guy do you take me for? I wouldn’t cheat, that’s fucked up no matter who you are. Why are you even asking that?”

She shuffled her feet and broke from his gaze- she could still feel the heat of his eyes on her, however. She couldn’t read his emotions- his tone seemed angry, and from the look of just merely his foot stance, he was hurt by her question. His answers seemed… defensive? No, it seemed that way, but she knew him better than that- better than… her. There was something she had missed, there had to be. She jumped to conclusions too quickly- she must have seemed so pathetic, so… crazy. Crazy? Protective? Or just all-around sad? What was he going to think after this?

“Well you came out late with that girl-”

“So you automatically assumed I was cheating on you? Because I was walking with some girl out of the classroom?”

“I didn’t say it was a logical assumption!” she yelled, tears still streaming down her face, “I just saw… I saw how she smiled at you and it’s… it just reminded me of how I smile at you. I was afraid that… maybe you shared one of your smiles with her too.”

“…With round face? You’re worried about round face?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not her name-”

“Exactly. I don’t even fucking know her name- you have no reason to be worried about me cheating on you with her, or with anyone. I got stuck with her for some dumb group assignment, there’s nothing special there.” He stepped forward and closed the space between them, reaching out to hold their chin firmly in his grip to ensure they locked eyes, “I would never cheat on you. You’re the one that I’ve decided to spend my time dealing with, and it was one of the best decisions I’ve made. One of the hardest too, seeing how much of a brat you normally are,” he joked, shaking her face gently to let her know he was trying to lighten the mood. “Calm down.”

She stood there and pushed her lips into a pout, sniffling in an attempt to stop crying. She truly had overreacted and she felt like a fool. Her boyfriend wasn’t good with words, and she knew this was his attempt at comforting her- she had no real reason to doubt him, and she knew it. A twinge of guilt for her moment of doubt and dip in self-esteem made her chest hurt, but seeing the hurt in his eyes caused the real pain. Shaking her head furiously, and hilariously had she seen herself, she was free of his hold and immediately threw herself towards him with her arms open for a hug. He held her close and brushed her hair down, a chuckle echoing through his chest at how easily she had overreacted.

“You done being sensitive? Done overreacting? Are you going to freak out when I talk to the nurse, too?”

“Don’t make fun of me! I was concerned because I obviously like you a lot, you big head. Like… a lot, I guess. I didn’t know someone’s emotions could flip so suddenly. I… I don’t want to lose you.”

“Yeah, obviously you do. Who wouldn’t?” He moved to place a swift kiss to the top of her head, “Emotions are fucking scary, aren’t they? You can bet I’ve felt the same damn way when those guys in that class of yours run around acting like you’re some damsel in distress just to catch your attention.” He dropped his chin heavily on the top of her head, sighing to emphasize how draining emotions were and how he emphasized with her, “But, you know, despite it all, I know I can trust you. So hopefully, you can trust me- ‘Cause you’re the only one, baby. Only you.”

#bakugo katsuki #bakugou katsuki #bakugo x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugo x fem!reader #bakugou x fem!reader #request #mha drabbles #bnha drabbles #mha imagines #bnha imagines #my hero academia drabbles #my hero academia imagines #boku no hero academia drabbles #boku no hero academia imagines #katsuki bakugo #katsuki bakugou

242 notes · View notes