#he’d have said maybe

[ninyard]

hey do we think that just after Kevin’s hand was destroyed, and Jean and Kevin were finally alone, and Kevin asked him to keep Riko away - do we think that Jean would’ve left him alone without making him return his promise? Do you think Jean took one look at Kevin’s disfigured and mangled prized possession and said this is going to be the thing that kills him and I can’t let that happen? Do you think that there was a little while where Jean couldn’t find Kevin afterwards, and wondered where he had taken himself to do it anyway? Until he realised Kevin’s car was missing, or some other thing that told him: he wasn’t dead but gone, and maybe that’s worse, because Jean knows he can’t come back, he won’t come back. He’s alive, and he promised to stay alive, but he promised to stay alive. He did not promise to stay.

#Jean knew what this meant #he knew what Kevin being unable to play anymore really meant #and I don’t think he would’ve left Kevin alone without making him promise not to kill himself #it’s your turn #he’d have said maybe #I promised you to stay alive and now you have to promise me the same thing #idk! just thinking! #kevin day #Jean Moreau #tsc #aftg

[odetojupiter]

the fact that kevin day also witnessed a man being chopped up in the tower at evermore after neil’s audition is mad, and it’s something that is very much not addressed ever. like, maybe part of kevin was so accepting of how things were in the nest because he knew that this is the second branch, and if he were to leave, he’d become the main branch’s problem because he knows too much, and the main branch casually chops men up as a warning to literal children. and then he’s still called a coward for leaving ?? but also a coward for wanting to go back to make the inevitable less painful for him ??? and that’s not even considering what riko and tetusji did to him specifically, before even jean arrived at the nest. and his mother’s death would’ve been quite recent at that point. just insane.

#like i’m pretty sure the man being chopped up was the final straw for mary to take neil and run #and kevin saw that and wasn’t allowed to leave #so he accepted that maybe where he is is the better of two options and decided it’s okay because at least he gets to play exy #so exy became his only escape because if he was so scared that if he were to leave the nest he’d be the next one given to the butcher #it’s not until he doesn’t have exy anymore cause riko took it from him that he leaves #god i have so many thoughts but i am going to stop now #aftg #all for the game #kevin day #neil josten #so you’ll believe that neil was scared of nathan for a good reason but won’t believe kevin was scared of riko for good reason #(i said i’d stop but i did not) #and tetsuji #like even in tsc kevin is still calling tetsuji the master without hesitation

[shorthaltsjester]

honestly as someone who has been in various fandoms for a long time now and who also watched campaigns 1 and 2 without really getting into cr fandom it isn’t Shocking but it is annoying how often people will look at the stories that cr tells and make absolute claims about the goodness of characters (goodness here meaning Moral goodness, not I Like This character and think it’s well made goodness, which is a separate post entirely). particularly regarding the gods and pc parents. and honestly like, typically in fandom i get annoyed by people bending over backwards to woobify characters who are active in their choice to be unkind and generally horrible but in the cr fandom it’s tended to be the opposite where like. a character is just. a human being (in the sense of being Average not in the sense of Fantasy Races) and huge swaths of the fandom act like that’s the most unforgivable thing someone can be. and maybe it is, but one of the most powerful things about fiction is that it tends to encourage people to expand their empathy and exercise their ability to forgive. because fictional characters, no matter how much people like to project onto them, tend not to cause anyone harm, so it’s easier to learn how to forgive and accept things you don’t understand without also villainizing them.

this is mostly prompted by the recent 4sd and the fact that matt’s response to what’s up with the dawnfather was a very insistent “He’s not bad!” and also seeing the online reaction to the mention that the matron would punish vax for saving keyleth that has taken the as usual completely bonkers tune that the raven queen (Who When Met With A Brother Asking A God To Kill Him In Favour Of His Sister, Gave Him A Job, and Later Extended His Natural Life To Help Protect The World And Have More Time With His Family And Allowed Him To Visit His Sister On Her Wedding Day) is a horrible evil abusive bitch of a god. like. can we grow up? can we understand the world and fiction that represents the multitudes of experiences found in it in shades of grey? is that too much to ask (i know it is).

but also specifically the like Extremely Adamant way that both matt and laura were like no no no no relvin isn’t Horirble he’s average. he’s not good he’s just. he’s A father, not a good or bad one. and on the surface it’s hilarious that they’re both so like. enthused to point out that he’s Average because typically when people respond to a claim of a characters badness with the level of immediacy they both did it’s a rebuttal of “no, this character is good actually.” but it was just to affirm that relvin did harm imogen, but not because there’s some aspect of his character that is inherently cruel or especially Bad. and like. yeah actually. yeah you should react like that to a claim that this average person who Has hurt someone, the way that nearly every single person has hurt someone in a way they cannot repair, with immediacy to say this person is a Person and thus imperfect and capable of great harm, but that isn’t some all encompassing judgment on their morality or capability to also do good or be fine.

anyway this is kinda just a rant post but also is just me saying i’m very grateful that when surrounded by a fandom that tends to paint characters as Good or Bad and even while using a game that can encourage that with its alignment system, cr has always told stories that see goodness as a persistent choice that might sometimes falter and that can be chosen even after a lifetime of Badness. i can’t remember exactly what the quote was so forgive me if it’s incorrect but when jester is talking to caleb after he claims he’s not a very good person and she says “good people do bad things sometimes. even bad people do good things.” that’s it! that’s one of the most consistent themes across campaigns. and yet.

#on fandom #cr tag #i just. maybe it’s the philosophy major in me but. good grief the shit some of y’all say about morality and then turn around and ignore #what you’ve just said. good grief #lately it’s specifically been the people who support liliana (i too love evil women) and act like she tripped and fell into her current #position. and then turn around and call relvin an abusive devil #like. sorry which one has been manipulating imogen. which one abonded her? #that’s besides the point. my point is. the words good and bad are meaningless. #the good placeism. is this character trying to be better today than they were yesterday #this is the imogen temult problem actually. like yes she Chooses to be good. but that is only a choice because we have Seen her be selfish #and cruel and manipulative. if i had to choose to call imogen good or bad i’d of course choose good. but that undermines so much of #what makes her ‘goodness’ actually compelling. #honestly same with fjord. like his character as a charismatic paladin who fights for Good™ is comtextualised by having seen his journey #like. otherwise he’d be boring. #like. if any cr main character was just Good or just Bad. i promise it would not be as popular as it is #critical role

[they-bite]

this is the only project i want tom holland’s name invoked for

#they speak #context: butchman said if dp got the live action treatment he’d want tom holland to be danny #(a live action project isn’t actually happening) #(also i don’t have any beef with tom holland i just think he’s overused) #anyways yeah i think it would be fucking hilarious & completely get the point if a current overrated pretty boy was cast for this #like timothee chalamet also comes to mind but maybe let him age a few years #assuming that ai-generated w dark academia prompt looking face can age at all #or like. idfk what other celebrities are there. one of the chrises maybe #i’m sure chris pine could manage it but he’s a little more predictable. #this edible might finally be hitting though ngl

[probatiostudies]

so we’re not going to talk abt how my heart was going crazy until grian’s DON’T LOOK UP video title explained itself because… watching him run away… life on the line and so many people on the hunt… seeing him go up a LADDER made me swear up and down that he was abt to do it, that we were going to get another season with a tnt minecart network in the sky, where no one below was safe, until he realized out loud that he had no materials with him

#I WAS THINKING MAYBE JUST MAYBE HE’D DO IT #but i could finally breathe easy when he basically said he didn’t have the means for any sort of attack #what a session!!!! #grian #secret life #secret life spoilers

[chirpsythismorning]

Mike pulling up to his house in a pizza van w his sweetie pie by his side ☺️

#byler #LMAO #the idea that Mike and el are dating according to his parents but he pulls up like this??? #Im not a ‘Ted was referring to Will when he said sweetie pie’ truther #however #i cant rule it out as a possibility #when ted is a ‘patriot’ meaning I’m not sure why he’d be okay with his son dating a Russian spy (who he thinks el is) #when Will is right there being a sweetie pie to Mike the entire show… #Ted could have been saying that condescendingly #not bc he actually thinks Will and Mike are dating #but bc mike is close with his best friend and in his eyes that qualifies teasing his son over it #only time will tell #maybe they’ll finally introduce el to the wheelers in s5 officially #or maybe Will will interact with the wheelers and Ted will be like #well if it isn’t mikes sweetie pie #then we’ll know #we’ll know for sure

[ha-youwish]

shout out to rindo kanade for being such a swagless motherfucker. completely dripless, not a single stylish bone in his body. you know this guy would’ve grown up to own two shirts max if he hadn’t been clotheslined into a death game with fashion stat mechanics. now he’s bisexual

#shitpost #twewy #neo twewy #rindo kanade #no one really talks about rindo so imma start by making fun of him #also no i dont think fret wouldve gotten through to him #maybe if swallow ever said ‘you need drip’ or something then he’d go running headfirst into the nearest store window #but i dont think they’d have ever met face to face without the game so

[moophinz]

I’ve made a post on this already, but after acquiring heaps and reams of knowledge, I’ve decided to go at it again.

(From Mine’s TV Tropes page.)

I cannot stop anyone from wanting to view Mine as bi, and my intentions don’t lie there. But instead, I wanted to bring up that it hardly seems like the intentions of the devs and especially Yokoyama. Mine is a pretty big deal in being a heavily implied gay character regardless of having been a villain, partly due to how he’s just as masculine as his peers and his love for another man is a core part of his characterization where sympathy comes into play. On top of that, they do not shy away from heavy handed hints in his total lack of interest in women romantically and sexually.

Yokoyama is not only a non stranger to commentary on how much he loves Mine, but he’s also made remarks that imply he finds it funny that women are attracted to him though they can’t have him.

RGGO is particularly revealing about this thanks to how much room it gives to focus on character elements they couldn’t do in the actual games.

—A beach event in Okinawa has Kanda wanting to throw a party and see who between them can invite the most women. Mine is less than uninterested, but still winds up getting a few women interested in him. He can’t seem to outright reject them, but gives them very bland answers.

—This is a big trend in other Mine centric stories. Upon being asked by a woman if he’s by himself, he gives a slightly roundabout answer instead of outright saying anything more direct. He agrees to do something with her despite his ongoing lack of enthusiasm.

—As told, he’s gone on dates with women thanks to being unable to turn them down (he’s interestingly kind enough to women even though there’s some popular jokes about him being a misogynistic gay man). But if he sees a woman once, doesn’t really see them again. All in all, this is incredibly different from many other yakuza men who adore women as they slot into the three important status symbols: power, money, and women. All things that Mine brings up at the end of 3 as stuff that wasn’t really giving him any meaning or purpose in life. His line about having any woman he could want goes largely misunderstood. Especially after he ends that line with saying living life that way was a lie.

Comparing an outright love confession to Mine being thankful to have had Katase around feels almost laughable. On one hand, I’m at least glad the person who wrote this acknowledges the romantic feelings with Daigo, but on the other hand… “heavily implied?” With Katase? No… Not every meaningful statement or even so much as breathing the same air as one another between a man and woman is grounds for love.

Genuinely, it feels like they’ve done nearly everything but outright use any direct wording for his sexuality. He’s the only character they’ve gone this far with. Others get more vagueness or subtlety.

(From Majima’s)

(From Zhao’s)

I’ve talked to @04tenno quite a bit about this. And as usual, they’re the reason I know quite a bit, too.

Majima’s section is bizarre to me for immediately throwing out there that he’s a huge ladies’ man. (This was listed elsewhere in his section). Which is just… hilarious. Sure, plenty of irl female fans adore him, but in universe, he’s nothing of the sort and often interacts with women by using a more friendly tone of voice (probably to seem less intimidating) along with other behavioral changes. I also take up issue regarding the way the person who wrote this seems to completely downplay Majima and Kiryu’s relationship to the first game. But that’s a whole other conversation…

Zhao’s section feels incredibly different compared to the other two due to how the person writing it seems to completely lean into the potential signifiers and stereotypes surrounding him and includes other instances beyond that. There’s nothing about him being in a hostess club automatically meaning he’s attracted to women. As such, even a lot of dudebros seem to openly view Zhao as not being bisexual, but instead, straight up gay. This seems to be due to the fact that Zhao is never shown playing into the typical mainstream macho type stuff as opposed to Mine.

I didn’t take a screenshot, but Daigo even gets the assumed-to-be-into-women-because-he-was-next-to-one-treatment. While he went to hostess clubs, he looks so extremely despondent and out of the moment when we see him there. I can’t find it in me to assume he’s attracted to women just because he went to those types of clubs. His sexuality is totally up for debate as several others are as well. And we can all see him however we want. But, overall, immediately assuming things for such and such reasons starts to feel a little off to me. All in all, Mine gets this treatment the worse thanks to his sexuality actually being a big factor in his character.

#yakuza #ryu ga gotoku #like a dragon #yoshitaka mine #queer characters #gay character #queer analysis #sort of in a way maybe possibly #Mine Yoshitaka my favorite Daigo kisser #majima goro #zhao tianyou #I sure hope this makes sense and reads well because I always get uncertain of myself with these things but anyway #who’s going to take it upon themselves to add an entire Ho yay section #anybody? …anybody? no…? #but like I said you can see things how you want of course #it’s just kind of funny to me that some have picked up on Zhao not being excited to be in a hostess club but some others #immediately assume Daigo was overjoyed to be at them himself…apparently #maybe he’d be happy in some other instance but from what we were shown buddy boy is dead inside #also Project X that crossover game was crazy for having Majima talk to women the way that it did like bro that’s how he talks to men #women get the nice customer service voice with a side of playfulness

[withasideofshakespeare]

Poins! Come get your boyfriend! I know you disappeared from the narrative, but he’s been traumatized by the death of his father and is now executing conspirators in the most terrifying way possible.

#shakespeare #Henry v #ned Poins #I said ‘holy fucking shit???’ out loud at the scene where Hal asks the traitors’ opinions on mercy #and then hands them letters that I can only assume just say ‘I KNOW.’ #and then when they ask for mercy he tells them he’ll take their advice on punishing criminals #apparently having your father die immediately after accusing you of being a fuckup one last time does things to your brain #as if Ned is a good influence lmao #maybe he’d come up with something more funny and less terrifying #either way #please come pick up Hal #he’s scaring us #also I just think hal deserves to have fun sometimes #and Poins would go NUTS for walking around a military camp in disguise and challenging people to stupid duels

[starlooove]

No bc fuck tim but it really really bothers me how people ignore his growth like he used to be an asshole and I’ll give tim Stans one thing: now he’s so so so stale but what I disagree with is that this staleness is bc nobody likes him like it’s in fact the exact opposite where everyone likes him so much they dont want to do anything. Even when it’s him surface level challenging Bruce it’s when everyone else is doing it too; but he’s still the backbone of the fam! Etc. and it’s so irritating bc him gaining more compassion and empathy even for people he doesn’t fw is so fun to watch and that’s why the captain boomerang thing was so out of character! (Not in a from the author way but in a tim wouldn’t do that and he and Bruce both knew it which is why it went down like it did. Same way dick killing joker was ooc; not in fanon sense but in a he would hate himself forever for this sense) and speaking of that it’s such an interesting mirror to Bruce who genuinely believes that everyone can grow vs Tim’s it doesn’t matter if they grow it’s not my decision to make like it’s the same but it’s not AND WITH CASS’ IT DOESNT MATTER IF THEY CHOOSE NOT TO GROW I WONT DO IT! like ugh. And anyways even when people acknowledge it they boil it down to “Janet and Jack taught him that the capitalist pigs that they are” like no. This is who tim was. Tim was the kind of guy who’d blame a dead kid for dying. That’s ok. Also Janet and Jack? Please reread anything involving them that’s not a fic like Jack had anger issues and they were both aloof at worst like relax.

#the Jack and Janet thing is both an understatement and an exaggeration but I don’t think anyone reads enough to care #some tim stan might get all pissy and be like ‘no look this is everytime jack yelled at him and boarding schools are abusive’ to which #and its like narratively that means nothing bc the tim you made up to justify the Drake parents you made up by blowing shit out of #proportion is also made up and if all of that was abusive there’d be smth to show for it besides ur homophobic Jack #too girlboss to care but still terrible Janet bc god forbid a woman have a personality from ur fics #anyways that’s also the reason I’m ignoring the council of spiders #well two reasons #first is that was just a moment to make tim look cool and did absolutely nothing for him or his character moving on #like at all #I’d say it fucked with his previous established dislike of killing for his own reasons #and while that COULD be interesting it’s not bc they didn’t do shit with it #and fanon doesn’t do fun shit with it either #nothing about how tim in his most manic state did shit he doesn’t want to remember shit he’d HATE other ppl for #just “’remember what I did to ur base Ra’s? mess with me again and see what I do next 😼’ #like ok can you be real and genuine? #anyways I think #AND NOT IN A HATER WAY #Tim would benefit from being humbled #like genuinely I detest the world can’t move without tim running it but the idea that tim thinks that way is so good to me #and #I think next step being him realizing that’s not true would be a BIG push for his character #bc like I said tim Stans are right in the fact that he’s stale as hell rn #but that’s bc there’s nothing to say bc there’s nowhere to go! y’all want a tim action story where he shows off how badass he is reread #the Bruce quest and maybe it’ll remind you he’s not ceo lmao but anyways there’s nothing internal to say about him atp bc nobody wants to #say anything that’s not propping him up. same with Bruce! Gotham war was such a copout but it’s like ppl are saying he’s stale and it’s bc #god forbid he makes a lasting fumble. and I’m not under the illusion this is new I’m just saying it’s weird that fandoms not clocking it #anywayyys I really do like thinking about the No killing rule and how different it manifests for each perosn #like the way each distinct difference tells u so much about them #UGH ONLY SLIGHTLY RELATED BUT DUUUUUKE BEING LIKE IDGAF ABOUT GUNS LIKE UR SO REAAAL #anyways enough tim positivity for today FUCK THAT NIGGA!

[rainswept]

saving u all from the asshole fuckboy aventurine agenda half of this fandom is so hellbent on portraying

#i think he’s very Tongues & Teeth by the crane wives but. contrary to popular belief. i don’t think he’d be the one singing #yeah he’s not stupid but i could see him being so in love…… #if someone managed to bring his guard down and was with him for years #not sure if he could bring himself to leave once the kisses started cutting his lips and the touches started bruising #maybe i’m ‼️ wrong but idk this man screams fucked up attachment 2 me #he’s used to pain.. i think he’d put up with it #at first he’d flee. if it was anywhere near the start of the relationship? yeah he wouldn’t stay if he felt he was on “the losing end of #the bet” #but i also personally believe it would take a lot to be romantically involved with him at all #like i think it would have to be a friends first thing. slowburn in fanfic terms. #idk i’m just nottt getting the one night stand vibe from him. #so like i said if someone was with him for a longgg time… and truly tore his walls down.. i doubt he’d be so quick to run #i think he keeps himself closed off. but when he does love he loves wholly and fully to the point of it hurting. #not out of malice but out of sheer intensity.. #yeahhhh tongues & teeth….. #love is love but instead of in the gay way it’s “sure it hurts every time it happens but at least i feel something” #probably the gay way too though

[hylianane]

I was going to write this in the tags of your last post but i think it's important actually so I'm gonna send an ask

On a more serious note I'm actually kind of obsessed with psychoanalyzing Zoro specifically. Because he actually has some pretty big issues I think, mentally

He takes his self appointed job as protector of the crew very very seriously, and he's really hard on himself if he thinks he's failed in any way. I mean just look at him right after Little Garden, or how mad he is after losing his shadow on Thriller Bark.

So yeah there's nothing in that brain but swords and I fucking love that about him, he sure is sharpening them to an unhealthy degree isn't he. He's never strong enough, after all, to protect everyone.

I just,, really like combining silly ideas with serious ones, it's fun

GOD listen is 12:25 am but I just couldnt go to bed without at least STARTING to jot down my thoughts on this but like YEAH. for SURE. Zoro for all that he’s shown to be a pretty simple guy with a single-minded focus, has a LOT to chew on in terms of character depth and layers. There’s lots of fun contradictions to him too. He’s prideful and self-assured but also so often self-punishing, and he’s also someone who is fiercely independent and a free spirit, while having a habit of building his own identity around others (both his dreams are shared with others, they belong other people as much as they do to him and that’s a LOT to think about).

You may have actually caught me red handed here cause that ‘Journey to the Center of the Mind’ story concept maaaay be kind of something i’ve played around with for months now. I think I once tried to write out like a basic premise, but the only thing I really remember is is wanting Luffy to be the primary person to undergo the journey cause. if every Strawhat was present it’d feel less intimate, less personal, and I feel like Luffy would want to explore Zoro’s mind alone to preserve his privacy. Unaware that he’s the person Zoro has the most to hide from. I think the levels of Zoro’s willingness to put the Strawhat’s well being first has the potential to truly frighten him, if the visuals Zoro’s mind provides him are right.

#The idea I had written down is a little embarrassing to talk about too in depth tho dkfjd its silly #It’s a very vague rough draft at best and I dont have a lot of practice in writing. It’d definitely be too ambitious in execution for me #I just remember being very excited to use the wisteria symbol throughout the story… since Oda said it was like ‘his’ plant #I thought that maybe the reason Zoro was put into a situation where he NEEDED to be saved from his own mind could be #smth very mysterical and magical some unexplainable grandline phenomenon #I pictured a big wisteria tree that preys on human’s will #Zoro would lay down to nap under its shade unknowingly and it would quickly plant its roots right into his brain. #and slowly make it so he feels more and more emotionally fatigued until he can’t even bring himself to wake up #He’d have to be reinvigorated somehow #and maybe at first Luffy would think that the way to do that is by reminding him that he has to fight for the crew and his dream #(which is a reasonable assumption as that usually works) #and later realize that maybe what Zoro needs to be reminded of is that he needs to fight for HIMSELF. #Something that he hasn’t 100% done since he promised to Kuina their dream would be shared #ANYWHO. ITS ABOUT TO BE 1 AM NOW #I am not a night owl!!! Sorry for any typos and for the longass tags skfjsk #my post #ask #💚

[quietwingsinthesky]

what if Dean killed Charlie himself for helping Sam with the book of the damned instead of immediately telling Dean what was happening. what if he still told Sam it was his fault for putting Charlie in harm’s way (in this scenario, anywhere near Dean with the mark on him, despite her and Sam trying to remove said mark?) what if Dean had actually killed someone important to him who trusted him and loved him?

#he should literally also have just killed Cas as well and god should have brought Cas back. again. #that’s his favorite doll right there he can’t stay dead <3 Dean Winchester would be too sad about it #anyway. Sam mopping up the blood in the library scene but it’s not the Stynes #it’s Charlie’s blood and Charlie’s body and he’s cleaning up the mess and Dean tells him at her funeral that it should be Sam burning #and Sam gets to blame himself for it <3 #come on fellas if we have to fridge Charlie let’s at least give it some stakes #Dean already broke her shadow self’s arm and nearly killed her despite knowing he’d be killing the good Charlie too. what if he lost #control again. she went behind his back. Dean doesn’t react well to betrayal. and she’s Charlie! she’s supposed to be Good and Perfect! #she’s supposed to be like a little sister to him! and if dean were in his right mind he might deal with this okay #(like say. how he forgives Benny in that deleted scene for breaking and drinking from someone. when he sees Benny as a man and not the ideal #of a person who won’t ever mess up or betray him.) #but Dean is not in his right mind. and Charlie is the key to cracking the book. and he can’t let the book be cracked. #and she only came to him because she felt guilty. maybe something Rowena said dug too deep under her skin. and he’s dean! he’s still dean! #and she forgave him. (she couldn’t stay in that bunker another minute around him.) but she forgave him! he has to understand how important #it is to save him! just like he saved Sam! and Dean stands up. and you know. if this was really the show I’d still say we don’t get to see #what happens. we just get Sam mopping up the blood afterwards. that’s all. #I’m just saying. if she had to die. make it count. #spn #charlie bradbury #dean winchester

[fieldsofbone]

one of my advisors emotionally eviscerated me in my dissertation meeting this morning and made me cry in front of him and my school dad (my other advisor). i know that some people have the “you doubted me and i’m going to prove you wrong so you can eat your words” instinct when they receive criticism but instead i was cursed with the the “internalize it until i feel worthless and the last five years of my life in which i’ve been studying toward this goal i deserve but have had many undeserved obstacles to feel pointless” reflex

#my school dad was clearly upset with ben (my other advisor) and he asked ben to stay after in the zoom meeting after i left so i think he #told him he was being a dick so thank god i have one advisor who actually has feelings and is sensitive to me and gives a shit #but like i was literally asked today if i even want to continue in grad school because ben doesn’t think that i’m making progress fast #enough and he said it seems like i’m not really advancing and maybe i should just quit :) #even though he knows how hard i’ve worked for this and he recognizes how smart i am and he’s regularly told me i’m one of his best students #and he knows that i had a debilitating trauma happen to me after i was assaulted by a colleague 👍 #i asked him to join the meeting so that he could catch up on my project because he’s so hands off that he doesn’t KNOW WHAT I’M DOING!!!! #EVEN THOUGH IT’S HIS JOB!!!! #and i figured he’d make me feel a little demoralized cos he does that cos he can’t read social cues but he ambushed me

[camgoloud]

i simply feel that if you burn shit in your roommate’s skillet you should then feel the obligation to be the one who scrapes it out and cleans up

#sometimes i think about the fact that i’m literally the only person who’s cleaned the kitchen in this place for the entire year and a half #i’ve lived here and i get. a little pissed off #i’ve tried being polite and bringing up the problem without explicitly pointing fingers by leaving cleaning products (which i bought) #out on the counters and sending a text in the group chat like ‘hey! 😊 i got these wipes for us! i think that all of us could #use these a little more often so that the kitchen doesn’t get so gross!’ but it seems that everyone either has no sense of shame or just #genuinely doesn’t mind living in filth for the periods between the marathon cleaning sessions i do every few weekends when i have the time #one of the guys who lives downstairs will just walk right by me cleaning up on his way to the fridge and pretend he can’t see me #which is still better than the other one (the one who just burned shit in my skillet) who once saw me cleaning and asked if he could help #and when i got all pleased and asked if he could maybe take the trash out for me while i was cleaning counters (a small and simple task! #when he’d literally asked me if there was anything he could do!) he visibly deflated. said ‘well i’m not really around here much [so it’s #not my trash in there etc.]’ and wandered off. without doing anything #like. HELLO???? you could have just been like the other guy and pretended you didn’t see me doing all the work if this was how you were #going to be about it #but i guess he wanted to feel good about himself having offered/expected me to just say ‘oh no thanks i love being your housekeeper 😊’ #tbh i really need to be more assertive and be like ‘hey guys i’m sick of this’ and maybe. bring up the Sexism of it all. because. #you know. the whole situation feels pretty gendered #was complaining about all this to an irl friend the other day and she said i should start a chore chart but i don’t want to be responsible #for maintaining the chore chart either! take on the mental load of managing the housework and also turning into Resident Bitch for asking #men to do things for me. you know. there is simply no way out here #there is another woman who lives here as well but unfortunately i don’t think she’ll be much help in forcing the issue because. she doesn’t #clean shit either! #actually in the days since she moved in the shower drain in our bathroom has become horrendously clogged which. well. i mean not to point #fingers but one of us has got about two inches of hair and the other has got a foot and a half. so #i also simply feel that if you clog a drain you should be the one to unclog it but i’ll probably do that as well #sorry for the massive tag rant by the way i really shouldn’t make myself out to be some kind of martyr because i’m not particularly neat #myself but…. ooooh god if the bar isn’t all the way down in hell #anyway i just did a whole bunch of dishes but i left that one skillet to soak passive-aggressively overnight #i don’t think the aggression will come across though because i think he genuinely won’t even pay attention to the fact that it’s still #dirty and i’ll end up being the one to clean it tomorrow #caseyposting

[priestfrommidnightmass]

he could absolutely break my heart eventually. and i genuinely couldn’t care less

#god this whole thing drives me so crazy because like #i’m not constantly thinking abt when it’s going to be over and how it’ll end and all that like i usually do #of course i overthink and shit sometimes but most of the time #i’m able to remember the things he’s Actually said and done for me and not the things i’m scared he Could say. and i feel better #maybe i’ve said this before but recently i was trying to recall if there was even a single moment where he’d ever like #hurt my feelings or made me feel bad no matter how intentionally or unintentionally it was #and i literally couldn’t think of a single moment where he’d ever hurt me #so of course because i’m me i have to acknowledge there’s a Chance he could hurt me #and i like him so much that if that did happen it would probably really really upset me #but honestly i’m at a place right now where i don’t Care. and it’s crazy #i don’t care if he Could possibly break my heart eventually #because all i’m able to think of everytime i’m with him or talking to him is just how fucking great it feels #i can’t tell if this is any actual personal growth in me because just like #in general i don’t think i’ve ever felt this way abt anyone. it’s so dire #it’s so DIRE. #okay i’ll be quiet now but i’m just like #i don’t know. i just don’t feel negatively abt our relationship at all it just feels so Nice #not even any lingering paranoia can get in the way of how strongly i feel abt it #even if he’s not interested in me romantically whatsoever #he’s still one of the greatest and most supportive friends i’ve ever had and it’s. it’s really good #okay now i’m done