#helped me through a low low

[turtleblogatlast]

Man I’ve said it before but for as annoying as Leo can be to Hueso, it’s still abundantly clear that Leo has inadvertently done a lot for the man? Yeah, he’s gotten him into a fair share of hijinks, but at the end of each of those was a long standing problem in Hueso’s life solved just like that.

In particular, Hueso’s exile from the Hidden City and his feud with his brother are both solved through Leo’s intervention, and it’s also sweet that both of these issues’ respective episodes end with Hueso happy.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt hueso #rise leo #rise hueso #tldr Hueso is a character whose life is actively made better through Leo being in it and that fact makes me so happy #so yeah as annoying and pushy as Leo is i guarantee Hueso cares about him #and Leo clearly cares as well - Hueso’s a pseudo father/uncle figure who’s seen leo at a pretty low point and actually helped him #WHAT IM SAYING IS BABYSITTER LEO FOR HUESO JR IS COMPLETELY POSSIBLE #and even if the restaurant got damaged in You Got Served Leo (and Mikey!) still saved Hueso’s life #so again - all direct interactions go well in the end

[that-howling-sky-kid]

The fact that people are actively trying to avoid doing the 4th quest is the funniest thing ever.

#sky children of the light #sky cotl #thatskygame #skyblr #season of revival #doing the 4th quest for revival is like encountering a mission nobody likes to do but has to do it anyway for completion #don't get me wrong I'm still a bit butthurt from losing my WL after getting all 150 of them #but I had to go to Eden anyway for a wing buff and I was low on ascended candles #also hi Eden Uber #why is no one asking me to help them go through Eden?? #i am practically the person for the job

[wisteriagoesvroom]

DEFCON LEVEL 5!!! OSCAR JACK I SAID U SERVED IN THAT MCL HOODIE BUT I WASN'T PREPARED FOR U TO GO AND OPEN A WHOLE NEW RESTAURANT!!!!!!

source

#oscar piastri #op81 #mclaren #he heard the streets talking smack about his caterpillar moustache and said... haha... watch #like my hands are shaking the raw adrenalin coursing through me #i could pick up the MCL 35 and hurl it directly into the sea #i could punch through a brick wall #i have suddenly signed up for australian citizenship #they put him in armani i'm going to be SICK #they chose that low curving white t shirt for ME personally #they said invisible person on the internet. you are getting NO rest today! #AND THEY ARE CORRECT! #this is sooooo unfair why would they-- ohhhhh #HELP MEEEEE

[roxinmypox]

“Hannibal is the root of all of my problems” “I am worse because of Hannibal” Hannibal saved my life

#hannibal tv show #nbc hannibal #hannibal nbc #hannibal lecter #hannigram #will graham #will graham hannibal #hannibal #it saved me #I was at a super low point #Hannibal helped me through #my intrusive thoughts #ily nbc Hannibal #I’m so happy it exists #cannibalism was about #to be the end of me

[flowercrowngods]

people for whom you’d turn back no questions asked to look through rancid park garbage bin to retrieve their mother’s ring

#she called me like ‘i lost mamas ring what do i do’ — ‘look for it of course! this is xy park no one’s gonna look at you for looking through #the garbage bin this is why we love this park… do you want me to turn around and help you?’ #and so there we were. she found the ring. it wasn’t even a question for me like i’d jump into a garbage truck with her #maybe love does have a song and it’s every all time low song #bestieism #🤍

[pastafossa]

The last day of 2023.

And holy shit has it been a chaotic ride, one which you all shared with me, or that's what it feels like!

The Major Moments:

Feb: Cato's cancer diagnosis and discovery of weird mutated cells that likely won't be explained until after he passes away. He's still with me, fortunately! No idea how much time he has left but I'm grateful for every second

April: a small leak in my dining room ceiling turned into a bigger leak which turned into a massive hole in the ceiling, at least it wasn't winter???

May: DD Born Again Photos give us all a goddamn heart attack

May: I FUCKING REACH MY OVERALL 1,000,000 WORD COUNT ON AO3. 🎊 🎉 🎊 Next stop is 1mill for TRT!

June: Went to my first con since Covid! Drove all the way down to Philly to see Charlie Cox, WHICH WAS FUCKING AMAZING, HE HELD THE RED THREAD FOR OUR PHOTO, MY FANFIC DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE, AND I TOLD HIM WHAT DD MEANS TO ME AND HE WAS SO NICE I COULD CRY

June: At that same con, I finally FINALLY got to meet my bff @wonderlandmind4 in person after many many many late nights of chatting, and we just CLICKED like we'd been friends for years, which I should have expected, but still! And then I got to meet a bunch of my readers, too! Best con experience EVER

July: enter Whoops Covid Finally Got Me After 3 Years But Charlie Was Worth It ™

July: Finally dusted off my draft of Pasta's First Dark Fic cause even if my brain was too fuzzy to write, I figured I could edit a bit. And I did! And was pretty happy with the results!

August: Shit Now There's A Long Covid Heart Issue And I Can't Be Seen Until Late November Thanks Covid ®

August: leak in the garage leads to me losing about 65% of all the beautiful, special woods pieces I'd gathered over the course of six years for carving. Within a week I am gifted a huge bin of wood from a kind soul at my local witchy shop

Sept: TRT's 6th anniversary!

Nov: I was slowly getting back into the swing of things, doing a bit of writing in between learning to manage whatever was going on with my heart (which we'll hopefully figure out in January when I get all the results of testing in Jan)

Early Dec, and the worst week of my life: mom got sick. Within one day she went from not feeling good to needing an ambulance. By the next day, she was in the ICU - flu induced double pneumonia that was interfering with her breathing and heart issues. And with one more day, she was put into an induced coma and ventilated, without any of us sure if she'd pull through. They told us she'd likely be under for two weeks, potentially longer even if she made it. The amount of messages and supportive comments I got from all of you, the talks I had with @wonderlandmind4 and @shouldbestudying41, just the general sense of having a community to help me means more than I can ever say as you all helped me through that terrible, horrible moment, even if it was just gently messaging me to remind me to try to eat.

Mid Dec: against ALL odds, Mom was off the ventilator in a week. By week 2, she was out of the ICU. By week 3? Off to the physical rehab center. She was there a grand total of 1 week before she was allowed to come home to finish her recovery. Early December was the worst moment of my life, and yet it was also bookended by the best Christmas of my life even if it was spent at the rehab center, because I got to have my mama back, and hug her and tell her I loved her and make jokes, and now she's home and we've been watching Christmas movies and eating grilled cheeses, and as far as I'm concerned, that's what the holiday is to me: not presents and snow and lights, but this moment, this time with her. 'In all the places you find love, it feels like Christmas.'

In just a few hours for me, it'll be 2024. I have no idea what to expect going forward, or even what to plan for, much less a resolution. I know I want to get back to TRT when mom's a bit better (she still needs a lot of help, understandably). I know there are wood carvings I want make; friends I want to visit; witchy events at my local shop I want to go to. But other than that... who knows? If I'm lucky, things will be calmer than this past year. But even if they aren't, at least I know I have dear friends, all of you, and my family, including Pasta Mama, to help me through it.

Goodbye, 2023. Hello, 2024.

#new years #tw: sick parent #tw: sick pet #i have had a doozy of a year #and i truly don't think i'd have gotten through it without all of you #i feel like my life was just one great big tilt a whirl this year #incredible highs and incredible lows #we'll just have to see what 2024 brings #thank you to all of you this year #for your chats and messages #your comments and reaching out #it hasn't exactly been a smooth ride this year and i'm so grateful to all of you that helped push that metaphorical car up the hill with me #we'll see what comes this next year

[morzowo]

first and sprite's matching swiping pics for sanitary purposes

#twins the series #the tension between me my very normal amount of ref screenshots and unfinished sketches #was going through refs saw not insignificant number of v low quality cleaning photos in the background and couldn't help myself #this series needs some sanitation after touching faces with unwashed hands in public toilets and kissing among the trash hands also unwashe #smh

[sealrock]

would you let yves show you unimaginable horrors that will melt you into a puddle of aether soup, y/n? 🥺👉👈

#mypost. #ffxiv gpose #ffxiv screenshots #ffxiv oc #very low effort screenies at almost midnight but i'm in the middle of playing dress up with yves #who wants a half-baked lore dump because imma do it anyway #i know i said i wanted to make him a goth healer but i'm leaning towards cybergoth #i'm readjusting his lore and i see this as his outfit once kirke finds him + takes him in as her personal guinea pig #me waking up in a cold sweat: straps. i need straps #the mask helps him breathe in aether from the atmosphere courtesy of kirke #he can't talk either so he either communicates through sign language and/or vocalizations à la cat and bird noises #he's still freaky as hell and he makes people nervous because he's 7ft tall + can make people explode by touching them #he looks harmless otherwise as long as he's around flowers to pluck

[flickeringflame216]

.

#and people will tell me “you're allowed to ask for help! you need to do it!” #but i ask how. when the most common “compliment” i received all through childhood and adolescence was how “easy and low maintenance” i am #so how am i now supposed to be cool and chill with desperately needing people #and feeling like a failure when I really need to no longer be conveniently tucked into a corner #hot take maybe but we should never ever be telling children they're “so pleasant” for being afraid to exist

[downtherabbitholewithlucy]

Fred looking Sweet in S O U R

#3$BY era Fred was a fucking fine specimen #I'm a fan of that gritty-low-key-aura that surrounded him before the more “polished” SO and CSATHFW looks (but I still love those looks) #and on another note: look as much as adore young Marshall Mathers (yes I love referring to him by his government name) and his platinum hai #Freddy's platinum blonde hair looked just as beautiful but didn't get as much a spotlight compared to the Detroit rapper #and it's a shame because Fred rocked the look very well and this is my way of showing his bleached hair some much needed love and attention #Okay some of you may know that Sour is my fave 3$BY song/music video. #Making this gifset made me realize another reason why I love it so much. All the guys just look so fucking good in this video. #visually I've always found this video pleasing and the way the guys were filmed complimented them very well. #Fun Fact about my silly blog: Fred was the only LB member that I hadn't made a SOUR gifset about up until this point. #Congrats Freddy! You helped closed out my SOUR gifset series. #I'm too lazy to link all my other SOUR gifsets on this post. Just look through my blog's archive if you're really curious I guess. #Fred Durst #Limp Bizkit #nu-metal #Freddy D #The Chocolate Starfish is My Man Fred Durst #On my Freddy D bullshit for Fred Durst Friday #down the rabbit hole

[theygender]

The more I think about it the more I really feel like the recently coined term mesosex might fit me and it's been shared by several intersex education/advocacy blogs I follow now so I know there's support for the term but I'm still like. Scared I would be Intruding™ on intersex issues if I started using it. Like I mean. I'm an afab & (afaik) perisex person with a reproductive disorder that's likely caused by a (non-intersex) hormone imbalance which I'm now essentially having to take feminizing HRT to fix, and as a result I'm now growing tits and undergoing female-pattern fat redistribution at the age of 25 after years of having little to no secondary sex characteristics. I've always identified with intersex issues but now that I'm essentially having to undergo HRT to make my body match my asab that connection to intersex issues feels even stronger. And like that's what the term is for. But my anxiety is still like "but what if you're intruding tho" lol 🙃

#rambling #for the curious the specific disorder is endometriosis and recent research has shown that endo is most likely linked to #estrogen dominance which is where either your body makes too much estrogen OR not enough other hormones (progesterone & testosterone) #and given that the only thing that has helped me at all has been going on full progestin-only treatments #and the fact that everything ive researched about estrogen dominance and low progesterone matches up with my symptoms #it definitely seems like low/no progesterone is the issue for me #(although the docs didnt test my levels beforehand and now i cant get them tested unless i want to go off treatments 🥲) #and like. this progestin treatment has changed my fucking life. legitimately #like it didnt just stop my (pretty severe) endo it also fixed like. all of my physical health issues. stuff i didnt even know was related #dont wanna get off topic talking about my other health issues but. going on progestin has easily been the best health thing to happen to me #but it also feels so fucking weird to be going through the same type of changes that like transfems go through on hrt essentially #as an afab perisex person. its not a bad weird but like its just a strange phenomenon and it would be nice to put words to it i guess? #like im a person who has lived the last 10+ years disabled by a reproductive disorder that prevented my body from developing 'normally' #and now im going through feminizing hrt at the age of 25 to fix my reproductive disorder #thats not exactly like. the normal perisex afab experience lol. but at the same time my specific reproductive disorder and hormone imbalance #dont classify me as intersex (no hyperandrogenism just some mix of too much estrogen/not enough progesterone or testosterone #typical anatomy (afaik) aside from the uterine abnormalities resulting from endometriosis) #and its just. such a weird position to be in. i share a lot of common ground with intersex issues but im not intersex myself #and the whole purpose of mesosex was to create a word for people who arent quite either. 'people who identify with but not as intersex' #and i think that describes me. but also like.... do i count?? 😭 #tmi #request to tag

[peribirb]

you ever catch feelings for somebody but you've spent your entire life convinced/convincing yourself that you're fundamentally unattractive and broken in a way that makes you unlovable and unsuited to any sort of relationship, and so instead of just enjoying that extra dopamine burst of seeing them around you just make yourself feel miserable for even daring to feel that way in the first place? or is that just me?

#hhhh i hope this doesn't come across as some sort of “ohhhhh you have to come fix me and save me” bullshit cus that's not it. it's just #i'm sick of my brain acting like this and i wish i could process my emotions in a healthier way #one that doesn't feel like i'm just using them to mentally selfharm you know #or at the very least in a way where i don't immediately think i'm being some sort of creep for daring to find somebody attractive #i just. don't have the self-esteem for it and my brain immediately sabotages even just idle fantasy scenarios #some sort of long-term relationship? god i'm so distant and easily distracted i'd just hurt them by inadvertently ignoring them #something short-term and low-key? well i'll still forget to check in or i'll fuck up some other way and feelings will get hurt #just fuckin? god i hate my body so much i. cannot convince myself that i'm desirable in any way #even if i literally know people who would tell me otherwise and mean it. it's just so deep-seated i think #i think i just have a lot of problems to work on. and i don't really know how to go through that process yet #anyway. this isn't like helpful processing of emotions or anything it's just venting lol #this doesn't even cover the “am i aroace or not” confusion spiral that i've got going on... #it was a therapy day so my brain is already primed to Dig In Deep to everything that hurts #:thumbsup: #vent #delete later

[ramshackledtrickster]

I’m replaying ac3 and oh my god I don’t remember the dialogue exchange between Ziio and haytham being,,,, that stiff.

#the writing mostly but I feel bad if I criticize the line delibery too bc I like the actors portraying them #like… can we run through a few more takes maybe #I really don’t like dialogue where it feels like words on a script #instead of words coming out of the mouths of the characters #low key ‘call the judge and get some fudge’ energy I’m sorry #I still love ac3 it’s my fave ac game but mannn #IM HAVING FUN THO committing war crimes as the twins apparently helped me get better at combat

[whatimdoing-here]

How are you?

A question I never know how to truly answer anymore.

I am... Sad that I feel heavy.

Heavy because of commitments and things I must be even if I want to be those things for those people.

Uncomfortable yet comfortable in my body and brain.

How do I feel. Overwhelmed. At the enormity of it all. The expanse of opposites. The glory in beauty.

Yearning for selfish things and things that can never be. Hunger for dreams that help and haunt. Want.

Worried that I will demolish this life I have. That is comfortable. Comfort that chokes and calms.

Why are there so many aspects to comfort. So many levels and nooks, notches that fit and yet don't. What should or shouldn't be.

Joy in the small moments. Failure in the minute seconds. Beauty in the inbetween.

Tired.

Fine.

#my drafts are a fucking mess of rambling #i add to it often but rarely go through it #its all the same shit that's always in my brain but written down like it might help me #but this one stuck out to me today #so unlike that one time I'm publishing this one on purpose #I'm sorry I'm a lot. I'm posting this at a low traffic part of the day so people miss it #won't scroll back this far at the end of the day #mine

[starbuck]

guess who fought god and won againnnnnnnnn…..?

#somehow my truly unhinged plan of finishing a lab and two essays after work three days in a row fucking worked????? #so tomorrow i get to go birding and just enjoy it???????? #WILD. #i MAY have to make some revisions on my chemistry essay but that will be a MINOR event #the bulk of everything is done #and tbh my professor has been ignoring my pleas for help all week - so most likely i’ll just end up turning it in as is #(and taking her ass to Dispute Court if she tries to give me a low score after not helping when i asked for it) #but i’m just glad it’s all DONE #i even worked ahead a little for next week which i have not had time to do in a WHILE #and now i’m just lying in bed :)) eating grapes :)) #had a successful program today… STILL might be getting promoted… it’s an entire HOUR before midnight #life is GOOD man… #i mean. there are still Issues to be sure #but i’m pushing through it - i’m making it work #i’m eagerly awaiting the time where things Stop Happening for a bit #but for now - i can take it #i can take it all