#here I ago again help. lol

[books-books-smolderinglooks]

All Wilmon kisses are beautiful, special, tugs at your heart but... I think this one just hits different. The anticipation! For Wilmon, after everything (thinking they had lost the other), they're here and they just want to let go and embrace, fall deep into these amazing feelings they have for each other. That nothing else comes close to and so they do. They pause and breathe each other in, nudge the other to bask in that feeling that - yes this, this just makes sense. Slow caresses and kisses to indulge in, because I didn't think I would get this again and is this real? Remembering when they both smile because it is. 💜❤️💜

#young royals #wilmon #simon eriksson #prince wilhelm #this stemmed from that e4 v e5 kiss poll which e5 is uff but we've been waiting dragged thru craziness and so.. finally!! they're kissing!! #they don’t immediately rush in to kiss and holey moley the build up so intense again our hearts.. is everyone ok? 😊 #find another that makes you feel what this does before they even kiss!!! you cant. 😊 #good morning have some valentine's day kiss gifs! #oldies but goodies #here I ago again help. lol

[mothwingwritings]

Hi hi~ hope you are doing great today xD

Sooo First of all I love how you write and I have been binge reading yujiro stepfather serie(?) And absolutely love it; but stepdad yujirou + Baki and jack the yandere/siscon stepbrothers could you imagine like:

*Katsumi became her eternal friend but feels like he can't be with y/n, so ends up as her loyal/platonic companion or ends up as a teacher and friend and go on with life because yujirou is hell of strong and Sadie to pummel him again

*yujirou marries s/o and impregnate her, but y/n gives love to the child because she doesn't want him/her to suffer like her brothers

*yujirou wanted to rill up his son's and knowing their dark yandere side put the scenario on so the two end up taking her as well

*Baki and jack won't left her until she at least have s baby of each because hanma bloodline and a sense of twisted family

*and what would happen if pickle also gets interested? How would he reacts with y/n pregnant or with kids and with the scent of the hanma's? Would he tried to kill the kids like the lion in a new pride? Or just add them to the family and put his seed too? And the hanma's what would they do?

*oh and what happened with the ash tray

Sorry for the long feel free to ignore

I love your brain, darling~

Warnings: Stepcest, breeding kink, mentions of child rearing/being a mother, mentions of noncom, 18+ only please.

If the two Hanma brothers didn’t have any kind of breeding kink before, seeing their sweet little sister heavy with child is about to change that REAL quick.

Don’t get them wrong, it makes their blood boil to witness you carrying some other man’s child, let alone Yujiro’s spawn. Seeing you grow each day, swelling with the ogre’s unborn infant, is enough to make them go damn near feral. The whole situation unleashes a torrent of emotions -rage, disgust, pity, vexation, and sympathy, all swirling together within the two of them, vying for dominance. They don’t know whether they wanted to give this kid the world (it was your child after all, and it wasn’t that they weren’t sympathetic to its situation, they probably knew the tribulations and hardships that baby was to face more so than anyone else) or completely disregard it (they just couldn’t shake where it came from, what brutality was committed against you to conceive it).

On one hand, how dare Yujiro force himself inside of you, planting a seed that will bind you to him irrevocably? It was maddening knowing you were trapped by Yujiro’s side, saddled down caring for his offspring. The ogre had you right where he wanted you now, stuck between a rock and a hard place, trapped just beyond the brothers reach.

But on the other hand, two can play at that game.

It was easy enough to convince you to come to them. You loved Baki and Jack. You respected them and you trusted them, you had no reason not to come to them willingly.  You were always so eager to see them, so grateful for their companionship. The day they entrapped you, you approached the brothers with arms spread, heart bared, and eyes sparkling as you walked blindly into their trap.

The last thing they wanted was to hurt you, that was never their intention. But you just looked so beautiful when you were pregnant, full and round and glowing, like an angel had landed on earth. They were craving seeing you that way again, adamant that they would be the ones who would fill you with their seed, and you would be the one who would help them create a new life.

And you were such a good mother, doting on your baby with love and affection despite the circumstances of how they were conceived. Didn’t Jack and Baki deserve that too? Why did their monster of a father get the only honor? They certainly treated you better than he did, loved you far more than he ever could or would. And they would never treat their children the way the ogre had treated them growing up, disregarded, abused, or as petty amusements their whole lives. Yujiro was such a terror that the brothers tried to keep themselves from growing overly attached to the baby he had created with you, not only due to the mixed emotions they felt about the situation, but because they knew the likelihood of having an infant survive growing up around the Ogre was optimistic at best.

However Baki and Jack were not their father. Maybe they had to resort to underhanded methods to get to you, sinking down to Yujiro’s level to get you pregnant with their children, but the difference between themselves and that monster would always be the overwhelming affection they held for you. Even if you had trouble understanding what was going on, or couldn’t quite wrap your head around the fact that everything they did for you was for your own benefit and safety, they knew that the lives they were forging for you was what would ultimately make you the happiest and bring you the most joy, you just needed time to get used to it first to realize that. Seeing you waddle around fat with their baby’s is both brothers ultimate dream, and they will destroy anyone who tries to steal that from them, whether that be their father or otherwise. And unlike their father, any life they bring into this world with you will be cherished-the baby will essentially be half you, after all, how could they not adore it?

They know you will cry and feel betrayed and possibly even get a bit hurt should you try to deny them. But no matter what happens, they know you will forgive them because when it comes down to it, you love them just as much as they love you. They are ready and willing to give you all the time in the world to adjust, you are worth any amount of effort to keep happy.

(Also poor Katsumi, but I am glad he gets to be a homie at least lol. The eternal suffering that poor man receives through our prose…)

Now for our caveman situation…

Pickle knows there is something different about you, something that draws a family as strong as the Hanma’s to you. There’s a reason why they are all vying for your attention, eager to procreate with you, and your beguiling presence is not lost on him either. Should his interest become strong enough he’ll definitely snatch you away to create a brood of his own with you. He would become EXTREMELY overprotective of you while you were pregnant, monitoring you like a hawk to make sure you are comfortable and that there are no predators a foot to cause you any harm. When you are full of his children, he treats you more gently than you thought a beast like him possibly could. Were this a situation you were actually compliant in, you would almost call it charming how gently he handles you, or how quietly he tries to lumber his large body around you so as not to disturb you.

As for the other children you had previously… I feel like that is very dependent on the situation. He would not outright kill them by any means. Right now they are small, helpless, they don’t pose a threat to him and you care for them, he has no reason to take them from you nor does he really want to. Also, they have Hanma blood running through their veins and that intrigues him. What manner of person will they grow up to be, he wonders? The thought of watching such people grow, even have a hand in raising them or training them, was too interesting of a prospect to throw out the door.

THAT BEING SAID, his children with you will always take precedence over them. Should you find yourselves in a situation that requires him to choose who he needs to protect, you will always come first, followed by the children he sired with you, anyone else is nonconsequential. Though he has no true ill will towards the children, he certainly doesn’t harbor the love for them that he does his own offspring. He cares for the Hanma kids well enough, but base interest is about as far as it goes. If they starve, get hurt, or have to get sacrificed, so be it.

And Yujiro def still has that ashtray. For WHATEVER reason, even though it’s a shitty little trinket that was crudely made by the hands of your child self, he can’t seem to part from it. He even travels with it and uses it regularly. Weird, huh? I wonder why…

#i kinda popped off on this lol #thank you always for all the lovely ideas you guys send me #i live for them #heh heh heh #yandere baki x reader #yandere baki x y/n #yandere yujiro hanma x reader #jack hanma x reader #jack hanma x y/n #yujiro hanma x y/n #baki hanma x y/n #baki hanma x reader #here's a nice helping of some Hanma fam bs fresh from the oven mmm mmm mmm #also look at me #finally getting to answer asks asked forever ago #ty again!!! I had fun with this!!! #mothresponse

[andy-clutterbuck]

Rick Grimes vs. Andrew Lincoln

#i started this gifset 2 years ago #Andrew Lincoln #Rick Grimes #* #rg #andygifs #i just always loved that you could tell the difference instantly #he could be in full Rick costume but THE VIBE IS SO WRONG #like hello police there's sprinkle confetti unicorn energy that doesn't belong here #which is why i always laughed when someone was like 'i'd be finding andrew lincoln in the apocalypse bro lol' #well cool i hope gael agrees to protect you too cause andy ain't gonna help #rick: full of rage andy: a fiery bat......time to compose a song #rick's struggling with killing again andy's doing the cellblock tango #that gif of andy with the axe from 6x16 is probably one of my favorites ever #thick thighs save lives

[camels-pen]

(i haven't read Whole Cake in a while, and i never really watched it, so bear with me)

I'd love to write a fic with Usopp on Whole Cake. it'd be sooo fucking long and i'd need to refresh myself on the entire arc, but god i'd probably be so satisfied when it's done. specifically for having brought a single moment in my head to life, but we'll get to that.

On Zou, he insists to be taken along on the Sanji rescue team and has worked himself up with a whole bunch of very good reasons as to why he should go there instead of helping in Wano, but of course Luffy just immediately accepts with a "yeah sure"

With Whole Cake, I think he'd be flipping between having fun as part of the idiot trio/quartet (Luffy, Chopper, Carrot), and being terrified with Nami. There wouldn't be that many differences in the arc as a whole, though; some things would be easier/better and some things would be worse- I don't necessarily think Usopp's presence would be overall an advantage or disadvantage, just different. Like, major events would stay mostly the same, but little details would change and maybe those little details would build to a far more drastic change-

for example, maybe one of Big Mom's kids considers themself a great sniper and wants a match with Usopp, or is motivated to work harder because Usopp is around and they want to take him out and boast about it. Maybe it means Sunny takes more damage than canon, or maybe Usopp's help means less damage to Sunny. (idk if i'd really do smth like this, but it's just an example)

skjdhf fuck i'm really not equipped to try and figure this out when i don't remember shit from Whole Cake aaaa

I do know that, despite his penchant for talking and rambling, I'd probably have Usopp be dead silent after his initial shock when Sanji fights Luffy. Everything about that is the same, except Usopp is just watching Sanji the whole time- not panicking, not moving, and not speaking. He doesn't say a word the entire time, doesn't even make a sound, and that, along with Luffy's words and Nami's begging, stick with Sanji.

(Usopp is thinking of his own fight with Luffy in Water 7, he's partially wondering if this was what it was like- if it was this painful to watch from the sidelines- and partially knowing he doesn't have to say a word, because he knew, like he knew back then, that it didn't matter what was said. It wasn't quite the same, but he could tell in the way Sanji moved, in the way he spoke and held himself, that he was putting on a front, trying to be brave in all the wrong ways. Usopp didn't say a word to Sanji because there was nothing he could say that Sanji himself didn't already know. Should've known. And his quiet, direct stare, was more than enough.)

the singular moment i really wanna write, is a scene where Sanji is apologizing for dragging them into his mess- either during the big meeting in Bege's castle or some other time- and Usopp's like "I'll do what you can't, you do what I can't, right?" and Sanji pauses, a little confused, until he remembers Enies Lobby and a stupid mask and cape and-

and tears are gathering in his eyes now, fuck, but he laughs a little. It sounds wet and his face is itchy and they're surrounded by tentative allies, but he- he laughs again and he says, "Fuck, you remembered that?"

Usopp shrugs, a little smile on his face. "They were some wise words from a wise man."

Sanji laughs a third time. "You think I'm wise?"

And they banter a little more before Bege tells them to quit it since they're on a time constraint or something. Quietly, Usopp will ask, "It-it helps. On bad days. And I figured, 'what's a worse day than this?' Ah, not that you getting married would ever be bad per se-"

"Usopp," Sanji says, looking more relaxed and settled. He smiles fondly and grabs his friend in a one armed hug, crushing him to his side. "Thanks."

And yeah, don't remember much beyond that, except the whole "hiding and then busting out of the cake" bit, which would mean Usopp in a cute little tuxedo or smth- maybe with a fedora aaaaaa <- loves fedoras- helping out with the fighting and eventually sailing with everyone to Wano.

He would be so distressed about fixing up Sunny now that the whole thing with Whole Cake is over. Maybe there'd be a gag about him promising Franky to take good care of Sunny while they were gone and being confident, after being Franky's tinkering partner and learning from him over time, that he could handle minor repair work much better than he did the first time around with Merry. And so when he finally takes in all the very-not-minor repairs he has to do, he's certain Franky is gonna strangle him for not keeping his promise. Probably also try to write in some nostalgic 'repairman Usopp' vibes from pre-Water 7.

Also something something, Sanji, wanting to do more for the crew bc he still feels guilty about Whole Cake, decides to take it upon himself to help Usopp not fall into a whole anxiety spiral about the ship. In turn, Usopp ends up helping Sanji not feel so guilty- usually by handing his own words back to him on a silver platter. And, yknow, having the two of them bonding and being buddies again like they so rarely get to be in canon nowadays qwq

#one piece #usopp #whole cake island #nemotime #that bit in bege's castle isn't exactly how it would go. just kinda. trying to get the vibe. also it's wayyy too short lol #the sanuso bit can be platonic or romantic. originally when i was gonna write out this idea a while ago i was thinking romantic with my #'they get engaged/married b4 dressrosa' au but tbh platonic works just as good #im- these guys man. i hate them so much (affectionate) #i'll get to rereading whole cake and finding a way to put him in there but for now. this. #if anyone's got other ideas im all ears #edit from like march 7: thinking about this again #maybe usopp being silent is an indicator for sanji that usopp's really fucking disappointed or shocked or w/e #but for usopp himself it's like being back in water 7. he doesn't even mean to be silent. he's got words built up on the tip of his tongue #but none of them come out. and despite sanji being Right There all he wants to do in that moment. is run. #at the very least he stays and watches the whole confrontation through. but afterwards he probably feels like shit #because he's the guy who's great with words right? he's the guy that can relate the most out of the group who went to WCI. he should be abl #to make a significant difference and help convince sanji to come home. but he feels like he failed. like he's going to lose another friend #and it's going to be all his fault. (again) #[not really. we all know merry wasn't his fault but we love old insecurities rearing their head in this house] #later he'd probably end up saying the words he wanted to say. and maybe it's better that way. that he ended up waiting #until luffy's had a proper shot at scolding sanji first. because then usopp can act as support and reinforcement. which. yknow. #a sniper's duty and all #anyway i got other shit to do so i'm cutting myself off here #wci usopp

[sensazioneultra]

and before watching that film i was thinking (for the nth time, lately) about my workplace putting out my deadname for everyone to see and then telling me to my face that that'd help me "deal with actual mistreatment from the outside world". not kidding they literally tried to spin them basically outing me which wasn't intentional and could've been taken as a sign they need to do better into a positive thing that would help me deal with Real Transphobia in the future as if work wasn't a pretty fucking important part of my life that i need to be respected in too! AND as if i needed THEM to teach me about transphobia??????? like i swear the way this cis white woman said it it was like they had given me my first taste of transphobia ever GIRL I KNOW THIS SHIT I EXPERIENCE IT EVERY!!!! DAY!!!!!!! pissed me off so much

#it upset me so much at the time and it made going to work very difficult for a bit #then i guess i just. had to put it in the back of my mind if i wanted to be able to keep working as usual #and it did help that my coordinator was Actually supportive not like those in the h.r. or whatever it's called here lol #(ironic i know. they should know better. it's their fucking job) #so for a few months i didn't think about it but lately it's been on my mind again #it was bad... more than i let myself admit until not long ago #it didn't have disastrous consequences like on a concrete level like daily life at work didn't change #but it affected me deeply #like my workplace trying to teach me a trans person what a lil transphobia is like. awww. #fucked up lmao

[disabled-queer-culture-is]

Disabled culture is going to see a doctor about a new medical scare and being able to predict exactly what they’re going to suggest, because it’s the exact same thing every doctor tells you for everything

#disabled culture is #ableism tw #medical ableism #like. ma’am. i just had a terrifying experience and am seeking medical help to make sure it doesnt become a regular occurrence #you do not need to treat me like a toddler #‘just eat more and get your bmi to a better range and you’ll be fine :)’ MA’AM #i am aware i weigh about as much as a sopping wet kitten but i am not here about the autoimmune disease causing that #i am here because i fainted hit my head and felt like i was experiencing violet involuntary movement even though i wasn’t #anyway congrats to this doctor for taking two hours to tell me something i learned from talking with potsies like 6 years ago #anyway my shock thoughts are really funny. she pressed on my nails to check for dehydration and my single thought was #‘thats not how they did it on mythbusters >:(‘ #fr tho uhhh fainting is super scary and i salute everyone who deals with it regularly #also is it normal to like. #i felt like my head was jerking around and I couldn’t stop it and that lasted for like a full minute after i was aware again #couldn’t talk or move like my arms or anything while it was happening #doctor literally just waved me off when i asked. if anyone has any insight on why i felt like that when my head wasnt moving pls lemme know #also tbh i dont even know if it technically counts as fainting. my eyes were open the whole time apparently #but everything before and after the fall for about a minute is blank #anyway uh! we think im fine! no blood and probably no concussion the only thing with major damage is the wall lol

[poptartmochi]

suddenly thinking about the oracle again... idk if she would be so friendly to lana, if we're being fr

#on the one hand she functions as a way for s4 to resolve and thus she has to Be Helpful #BUT.. wouldn't you Also feel some type of way if all this shit started going down in your lonely abandoned desolate Fuck Off Dimension #because your old friend and compatriot was upset that the reincarnated soul of your OTHER friend didn't care abt them #and also your upset friend was possessing the body of your THIRD friend like a meat puppet #and then a You .009 Inches to the Left shows up to try and fix everything (same thing that you did milennia ago that left you stuck in the #desolate fuck you dimension) like... surely the jaded and calloused You would feel some type of way about #the ghosts of your past fucking up your melancholic silence to do the same shit all over again #and then to see a version of you come to fix it again.. it'd feel like an affront right? like somebody laughing at you? #i think it'd be fun if lana had to beat the oracle's ass in a duel and have a monologue about the Power of Friendship #something the oracle lost sight in the passage of time.. cynicism has taken over your heart etc etc #like.. the oracle sees it as a fool's errand (haha like the fleet foxes) to try and resolve this because haou yubel and. uh. the prince ?? #they cannot be reasoned with in a way that matters. if they're all together again then they will devour each other and the world around them #and it's better that they've returned to the Fuck You Dimension to do it‚ because less people will be caught in the crossfire now #sorry to the high schoolers who foolishly followed these people here lol 🤪 #but if we all just die in the fuck you dimension then it will Finally be Over‚ as it should have been so long enough #and lana is like... 1) FUCK you 2) SEEK THERAPY? #and she whoops the oracle so thoroughly that the oracle realizes that these kids are Not Actually the Same #in which case.. huh.. maybe there is something redeemable here.. ok i guess i will be ur comrade now #loosely thinking abt it‚ i think that parallels aster's fuck you love is real moment this season.. AND #it contrasts syrus' disillusionment arc.. the oracle would probably loove syrus lol! they said these bitches hopeless! fuck you jaden yuki!! #sriracha.txt #lana #oracule momence

[purplespacecats]

my wrists are fucked up and i can't work and i'm not getting paid for medical leave even though legally i'm supposed to,

but also my friends are all helping me with chores whenever i ask and keep bringing me food without me asking

and i wanted to leave that job for the past year and also i got fucking permanent residency finally so in theory i can go on EI but of course i still haven't gotten the paperwork i need for that from my old job but at least i'll have health insurance for the rest of my life starting like 4 months from now

and it's been three weeks since i had to stop work so i found a workers' comp union and they helped me file a complaint and i have enough to make rent and a few weeks worth of meds and am having a yard sale over the weekend

and i was going to sell my broke down car but i can't because i haven't paid off my parking tickets but the cars for cash place only offered me 400 bucks for it anyways

two separate friends have crashed on my air mattress while going through breakups during all of this which has honestly been pretty convenient given my inability to cook or clean

and my wrists still hurt but they're healing very slowly and my friends nearby keep checking in to make sure i ask for help if i need it

#i'm very stressed but hopefully i'll figure it out #my friend anna randomly dropped off zucchini bread today #the second breakup-recovery houseguest left today and bought me cleaning supplies as a parting gift #(i did not need cleaning supplies but they were appalled by me handing them a spray with bleach in it to clean the kitchen counters lmao) #they also gave me boric acid bc ants invaded two days ago and they helped me get rid of them #when alyssa was here she cooked me a bunch of meals and chopped and blanched and froze all my vegetables #even allister let me keep the whole food bank haul that i normally split with her this week #oh the injury is tendonitis from work it just got really bad lol. eating was hard for a week or so #now i can type on my phone again (in moderation) and use the bathroom sink and pick cups up without it hurting! #oh AND my grandmother is in the hospital and my parents are coming to visit in a few weeks 🙃

[shihomiyano]

HI HELLO so i saw your dcmk secret santa event and it’s the sweetest thing ever i think it was such an awesome project, are you going to do another for 2023?

(also does anyone know how to get into the elusive DCMK discord or is it a hogwarts letter style thing T.T)

aww that is so sweet, anon!! thank you for your kind words, I’m glad that you like the idea of the secret santa event ♡ I can’t really say if I’ll host the event again this year yet since there are gonna be a lot of changes in my life (finishing university, starting a full time job, moving out, etc etc) but it’s quiet likely though because I’m just really attached to the event haha (the event will only be around christmas again though, so there is still a lot of time left until it starts again)

also, I’m not really sure how you get into the discord either since I’m not part of it agdshja I have severe social anxiety and autism and basically try to avoid most group chats because of that. but I do think a bunch of people on here are actually in the discord, so maybe just ask around a little bit more and I’m sure a lot people can be way more helpful than me asdhsjak 😭

#sorry for not being more helpful AGSDSHJA #i'm really bad with group chats #(and communication in general LOL) #so I try to avoid them #also I was actually part of a dcmk group chat before #many many many years ago LOL #i'm pretty sure it's not the one you're talking about either #but anyways I had a pretty bad experience in there #so i never felt inclined to join one again asdgshaj #(even though i'm sure it's a sweet discord because I know a lot of people #from here are on there and they are all really kind people) #group chats are just not for me ahdgsja #answered #anonymous

[mrburnsnuclearpussy]

I haven’t been actively lately because I only just got internet and phone access where I’m staying rn and I finally have my new sim card in so I can have WIFI HALLELUJAH (I’m only supposed to have 1 hour phone time a day but no one needs to know heheheh)

Anyway I just wanted to say that I nearly died and I will still die and stand for Carson because he is amazing and a good person and season 6 isn’t in character but even if it was what happened to Thomas CLEARLY wasn’t even Carson’s fault and if you say it was then you SUCK and you’re WRONG!!! 😌 CARSON IS MY LIFE AMD MY WORLD AND THATS JUST SOMETHING FHAR YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!

#I’m so happy to have wifi back and I made plans w someone and talked to my mum one to one like a real person and everything’s been insane o #obviously like I was in the icu and now mental ward and it’s been some of the darkest most traumatic time of my life but after talking to th #the right ppl I feel hopeful again and like an entirely difffeernet person from this morning #random tmi life update #hopefully I’ll be able to draw something decent and I can post some Downton animals soon ☺️ lol #force everyone here to care about tiger carson <3 #still obsessed with him #weird stuff going ik this is weird but I like just got my internet and tumblr back and I’m like WHEEEEEEwWWWwwW #maybe there can br hope lifean da future for me #also probably the fucking shitton socktail of meds I’m on rn has something t di with it lol #i think I’m getting some more in. a bit but I’m gonna go to the art room or something and try to draw more or whatever #coz it’s too early to sleep and I’m bouncing with energy! #crazy like I couldn’t even walk by myself a couple days ago and now I’m like chatting with everyone and hyper ^~^ #idk whether to say I feel good or bad at this point coz idk what either means anymore but #yeah like I need that seeet sweet therapy pls fix my BRAIN and the dr upped my meds so Horay that should help too #suicide mention #not rly but just being safe tagging #death mention #? #idk it. and be triggering though I know #like the topic I mean #anyway I stand by and live carson and if you blame him in any way for Thomas suicide I’ll personally kill you

[cherry-shipping]

HAD A DREAM ABT SANS!!!!!!!! i dreamt that i did something i thoughtd make him happy (i think clean his room?) but he ended up getting really upset with me. then he felt bad about getting mad at me and apologized ^_^

#it was a little sad but it had a nice ending #i think it was that he got mad bc hes very peculiar about his stuff? #and also autism so certain things i found that seemed like trash to me werent to him and so forth #i got sad and apologized and left then i went in my room cause apparently i lived with him and paps here #and unlike him i dont have the ability to just disappear. so i climbed out the window quietly and found some secret empty place to be alone #(bc i do that when im upset) #in the end he felt bad and papyrus was out of the loop since neither of them even knew i left #but when sans came to apologize he noticed i was gone and. since he does the exact same fucking thing he sorta understood #to paps i think he just said id gone out to get something i think #then he was like . actually i think they said they needed my help Um im gonna go find them #and so he walked around until he found my special lonely sad place and apologized to me ^__^ #it was sweet in its own way #bf (bone friend) #side note i wanna draw selfship art soooooooo bad but i still hurt like HELL #its not the same as it was yesterday though and after the hospital visit it got way better #but it still hurts. and now ive got menstrual cramps too #SO I CANT DRAW!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i wanted to finish that phone thingy sketch i rbed a little while ago........... #SAD. well whatever #edit 2 weeks later while lookin thru my blog. it wasnt menstrual cramps it was appendicitis lol #2nd edit 8 months later: got appendicitis again lol

[pepprs]

how did you know you were a lesbian ? not to Dump but i've always been attracted to girls but have no idea if i'm attracted to men. how do you not overthink it ?

HI!!! omg thank u for reaching out abt this and sorry ive kept u waiting for like half a yr 😩 (but also this is good timing bc i can say HAPPY PRIDE MONTH! i hope ur doing well and celebrating!) i uhmmmm don’t know how much help i can be in answering this bc i thought i was a lesbian a couple yrs ago but then i realized i actually am not (im bi) so you might want to ask a lesbian and they can help u figure things out from a more relevant standpoint than i can. BUT i will say that like.. sigh. my journey to figuring out my sexuality has been painful and confusing and honestly… the way i approach it now is i just don’t think about it / talk about it anymore or at least as much as i used to lol. i think when i was younger and first realizing that i like (and had always liked) girls i was desperate to give it a definition so i would feel less alone in it and hate myself less for being “weird” and “different” for liking girls if it was in a way that other ppl had in common / gave a name to. and part of that was me first thinking i was bi, then questioning if i was a lesbian, then thinking i was a lesbian. but then… like not to say this bc it’s so horrible but it’s literally true and the reason why all of this happened. i got into some super fucked up arguments with my mom abt my sexuality that gave me irreversible brain damage and i just like stopped questionining mysef / thinking abt my sexuality for like a yr and a half bc it was too painful / existential / etc. and then when i was ready to come back to thinking abt it i was like yeah im not going to read too much into the atteaction i had / have anymore bc after what happened it’s exhausting and painful to analyze what it is and determine if it’s actually comphet and like it felt / feels like attraction to me in some way shape or form so im just gonna go with it bc that’s how i identified when i first came to terms w not being straight and it feels right right now. so that’s kinda how im doing it.. just feeling my way. and if it changes again it changes again (bc i think sexuality is fluid and it’s ok to like change ur mind try different things etc) but atp im too like wounded from how everything went down w my mom in 2019 (and also like… before and after that but esp 2019) to think abt it again. but obviously that’s just me and a lot of ppl figure themselves out differently so if anyone sees this and wants to add thoughts please go ahead!! i wish u the best of luck anon 💓

#purrs #the mortifying ordeal of having impostor syndrome abt my sexuality lol. and also like cringing at myself bc rn it’s all abt just absorbing t #the damage (which arguably wasn’t even that bad) and coping with it. but yeah no i think i just.. like for me i was trying too hard to #analyze it and then my mom (and her gay friend that she brought into the conversation unprompted) basically guilt tripped me out of thinking #i knew anything abt my sexuality bc ive never been in a relationship before and crushes don’t count and that was may 2019 and there were oth #other episodes in there too over the years and in that year specifically that just.. really did a number on me. so right now the way i am #defining my sexuality is by like.. trying to cope with the core wound and tiptoe around it. but even after i heal from it fully (if i ever d #do) i think im bi and not a lesbian and im not going to think about it more than i feel like i need to . so yeah that’s me but i do kinda #feel like a fake and also cringe abt answering this LOL… like anon i promise you you are not dumping bc look at me ! but i appreciate u #asking and also like a lot of ppl on here helped me thru all of that stuff a couple yrs ago so this is kinda a follow up if ur interested in #knowing how im thinking abt it these days. i’ll stop rambling now but ty again anon im rooting for u and i hope u have a happy pride month 💗 #delete later #asks #long post tw #ask to tag

[zaiinab]

alexaplaymatildabyharrystyles

#ok so basically im ranting but #today i was in a v good mood in the afternoon u know it was a chill day and the football was coming on etc #and my sister made my smaller sister who has a reallly soft heart cry bc she was shouting at her #so i went to defend my little sister bc she never speaks up for herself and that caused me and my 19 yr old sis to argue more #and once again everything got blamed on me 😄 #and i was like????? ok whatever #but literally no one in my house besides my brother and baby sis has spoke to me since 4 pm lol #bc i always cause the problems etc etc when i was literally just helping my 11 year old sister #but my dad isn’t here he left the country like a day ago and it’s funny bc he’s always the one on my side #and now that he’s gone i feel like cinderella when she was left w her step sisters #bc that’s how they treated me today like i literally did nothing #so my mood got ruined before the football started #and all my cousins came over to watch but i was fine with them talking etc bc im insanely good at pretending nothings wrong #and after they went at 7 ive been upstairs since #and just went down at 10 to watch tv bc everyone else was upstairs lol #i hate them all i hateeee when my dad isn’t here #he always said to me when im in an argument w my mum etc that what will u ever do if i die. #bc no one but him ever believes me or wants to hear me out. it’s so frustrating #like i did NOTHING. and no one’s spoke to me all day. i didn’t even bother fighting it bc i just give up

[spacedkey]

normal i'm normal

#seasonal depression really hitting and forcing me to latch onto the nearest fictional lifeline lmao #you can guess. if you have a keen eye. or ear if text to speech is your deal. #normal normal me lol lol #AGH my brain is melting bc i keep using the lexicon of characters instead of my own. not helping. #also i might be having a silent migraine. or normal brain fog. or just tired. #or all at once. wombo combo. #all that to say. i've said too much. i'll say more cause i feel like it. and i am remembering that one anon that said they like reading #-excessive talking in tags. this one goes out to yuou mysterious reader #i latch so hard onto random medias 'cause i basically don't exist outside of them (don't extrapolate off of that #'course i don't mean literally.) i'm not fictional or anything. but also i'm not concrete #my internet persona is me. my characters are me. my body is sorta me but whatever. gotta deal with the flesh puppet even if it isn't me #i'm more my computer than i am my body #being room bound for most of my life will do that. even on good days when i leave the house #hours is nothing to years. is this poetry? i'm just blabbering #'BLABBERING'. gods. see what i said about linguistic sponge #talking to future me skimming my posts again with that one #besides the point. there is no point. #i exist here. now. no where else. i existed seconds ago typing this #that me doesn't exist now. now i exist here. you get the point #i'm just putting off sleeping by this point #anyway i have a new sona design. so reader as an easter egg feel freeeee to ask about it and i'll flaunt my inspirations on my sleeve #also i don't expect the sona to stay resonating with me for long. that's how it goes. it is a good design tho #key's lockbox #ok i think i really am normal now. bed time.

[sensazioneultra]

being annoyed cause people don't take things you care about as seriously as you do is such a BAD feeling i hate it

#like things that matter not. fandom or something #(fandom can also matter but that's not the point of this so i hope you get what i mean) #ok so #i'm at a screening in a park of a palestinian film. a documentary on palestinian music #and i was SO excited like i literally came to a town in another region to watch it #cause (as you might know?) i'm very passionate about palestinian freedom and revolution and art and everything #it's a cause close to my heart and a people whose passion and art and resilience and etc etc i truly admire and try to learn about #now. the screening isn't going as i expected #it's actually..... not going at all #there were issues with the projector or something and everything was like backwards like mirrored you know? #so the subtitles were unreadable #and also i couldn't hear a single thing #and it didn't help that everyone who came to the screening was chatting #and like i get the film was unwatchable but #the very clear vibe i'm getting here is that (almost?) no one cares about this film lol #they might just be here to do something with friends on a summer evening #the screening has stopped 25 minutes ago cause again it was unwatchable but no one seems to be fixing this ????? #no one said anything ???? #is this even a serious event lol #i'm sooooo pissed off. so so pissed off.

[fuckyeahkurusushou]

Me: (*has Syo dream out of nowhere*) Me: (*wakes up*) Me: ...I wanted to fINISH THE DREAM

#fyeahkurusushou personal #fyeahkurusushou original #fyeahkurusushou posts #fyeahkurusushou no rb #fyeahkurusushou dreams #natsukixsyo #(Gotta keep this active somehow lol at Some point Ill queue more things again but I hadnt had Syo dreams in A While sO) #(I had dreams with Syo in past but it was well over a year ago since the last one! I used to actively rp Syo around 2k15~ though) #(Usually its my other Favs showing up) #(this time it was Syo again out of Nowhere) #(I think it's because I {also} recently reread the Natsukis game route good endings again sometime last week) #(and yet again remember how much I genuinely LOVE and appreciate this character INCLUDING MOST OF SYOS CANON) #(in my dream they were actually acting very IC and genuinely t b hhh Wonderful too) #(Natsukis been *canonically* improving in cooking TOO though theres some here that may seem to ... not always pick up on that fact) #(Which Bothers Me A Lot negl Anyway the dream was Syo was just Casually Helping Oversee Natsuki Cooking Without A Problem) #(Natsuki is just all) #:D :D :D #(The whole time while cooking some cute cake or something and meanwhile the rest of Starish is like ' u MMMMM ') #(Otoya hesitantly approaches 'Syo ... are you *sure* this will be all ri...') #(SYO 'OH ITS OK Natsukis improved quite a bit actually Im just here watching to make sure it doesn't {implied : explode}!1!') #(oTOYA ' ..... ') #(SYO ' It'll *seriously* be fine no worries guys!!! Trust me! ') #(STARISH ' We want to Believe ') #(It was playing out like a whole ep in my mind so then it was very clearly a Syo+Natsu friendship focused ep) #(because it opened Very Ominously with a producer having eyes on wanting to get in touch with them and I was really excited lmao) #(rIGHT WHEN THEY WERE FINISHING WITH THE COOKING I WOKE UP AND I WAS LIKE) #('GDI I COULDNT EVEN SEE WHAT NATSUKI MADE!!!' 'BUT I TRUST U SYO') #(Syo was like SUPER CHILL the whole time and it was GREAT and we've seen bits of this in Shining Live already too) #(and Natsukis had some official Twit threads implying the same {Natsuki does good with cooking when others help}) #(bUT I WANT TO SEE THEM IMPROVING MORE IN CANON TOO SYO WAS SO GOOD IN MY DREAM ACTUALLY)