#hes really not that bad like theres been worse. give him a second to chill hes fine | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

furiosity-wills-the-cat · 3 years

Text

Chara, the fourth Blook cousin:

A crack theory that accidentally become way more serious than it should have because it somehow, despite my best efforts, ended up making sense

Brought to you by my idiot conspiracy brain (affectionate) and by encouragement from my Tumblr followers

Under the cut for the sake of your dashes and sanity

Ok here we go my very elaborate accidental theory, because in order to answer the complex questions simply you must first make simple things more complex or something

First, you need to know that Chara became a Blook cousin by adoption.

All of the Blooks are adopted.

Ghosts are not born into families, they make their own.

Got it? Great, because we’re about to start running

so first, im gonna make surprisingly uncommon claim in this fandom, and I am going to say that undertale ghosts are all dead

I’m taking the tiny details we know about ghosts and sprinting with them to new places

Ghosts also do not have souls I decided

Undertale souls do not work the same as souls in traditional mythology

So every ghost is soulless Unless and Until they become corporeal

Evidence: Monster souls cant exist without bodies, and ghosts are monsters, therefore ghosts cannot have souls without bodies

Further evidence: Asriel doesnt steal blooky’s soul, blooky is unkillable, we have no concrete evidence that blooky has a soul

What about mettaton? He only has a soul after he has completely committed to being corporeal and to a specific body.

Also maddy and mettaton are both only killable while corporeal

Im also connecting the dots we have about souls in a new creative way so let me live for a second

Additionally, i am going to claim that there are a lot more ghosts than just the blooks, some evidence given below

Theres like actual scientific knowlege of ghosts in the undertale verse which seems unlikely if theres literally only three or four

The underground is so much bigger than you think, theres that giant forest in snowdin, a large town in the ruins, the huge city of new home, who knows how much space in the large open areas of waterfall etc. Its really really big okay

Also based off evidence of blooky, we can conclude that ghosts can turn invisible whenever they want to and/or haunt objects to hide

So I personally think that ghosts are, generally speaking, extremely reclusive

And the blooks are just a special exception, a beautiful family, amazing for them

So anyway im going with typical ghost lore for now, for the sake of ease, so im gonna say ghosts generally come from monsters who are particularly restless or unsatisfied when they die

HOWEVER i dont think they remember being monsters or anything before being a ghost. They just kinda fizzle into existance with a fully formed personality and immortality while being unkillable and feeling vaguely uneasy

ALSO i personally think that chara was a ghost for a long time before they became a blook by adoption

Based on game lore, i think ghosts can possess any inanimate object and just kinda wear it? But it takes a lot of strong emotion to become corporeal

And chara is the super weird exception because they were a human not a monster.

They dont have a soul (i headcanon that their soul got destroyed when asriel died)

And they KNOW this, which is a huge part of why they kinda just... give up

Because they lost their ability to fulfill prophecy

Also, without a soul, they lost their ability to reset, so for the first time since falling underground, theyre subject to the relentless march of time

But theyre still weirdly strong and powerful and more emotional

ALSO they DO still remember being a human but they catch on pretty quickly that other ghosts dont have memories and because chara is stupid they just lie to fit in

Theyre too tired to explain themself, they just want to be alone and feel awful

Now back to ghost lore

Emotions are a lot harder for ghosts??? I decided

And they dont know why,, they tend to blame it on the soul thing

But realistically its actually more of the immortality thing making actions not have consequences and/or or not having a body so they cant have a sense of touch or have physical effects of emotion

They all know that ghosts just tend to be way more floaty and bored and numb

And thats part of why the blooks are so special

Maddy’s rage and Mettaton’s yearning and Napstablook’s misery are like... not great all of the time...

but theyre also way way more emotion than most ghosts have,,, they are just a family supporting each other, being as functional as they can,, just an emo(tional) ghost family

most ghosts barely do anything except like stare at walls but the blooks have their snail farm and that helps them have purpose and it is good

And they hold each other accountable and it is nice

So anyway chara just chills and is in a depression coma for a few decades before the blooks find them and are like “our child/baby cousin”

and they raise them for a cool minute

They are all very protective of the new baby emo blook

And chara doesnt get therapy but at the very least they once again have a family, and they decide they want to try to become corporeal eventually just like mtt and maddy

So anyway chara starts hanging out in the ruins a lot more and they finally tell the blooks theyre leaving to go become corporeal in the ruins

This is actually because they are trying to hang out with toriel

because they miss their mom ;;

but chara’s not gonna admit that to anyone, especially not to themself

And because theyre still repressing their emotions constantly and pretending to be fine, they cant become corporeal

And they hang out in the ruins for a long time because they feel guilty lying to everyone about everything

They still feel like its their fault that all the monsters are stuck underground, because they were SUPPOSED to save everyone and they COULDNT and it HURTS

But again, they are doing too much repression to use this guilt to become corporeal,

so instead they just kinda hide and watch toriel from a distance and cry

Blooky visits them the most, thats why blooky is chilling in the ruins so much at the start of the game

Theyre just there to visit their shy baby cousin ;;

Ofc they wont tell frisk about this because chara wants space and privacy and blooky respects that

but maddy and mtt also visit them a lot

Oh also when mtt and maddy start dissapearing, blookys mental health plummets as their family and support system starts to dissolve

Blooky was actually doing extremely well (for a ghost) for a long time, i headcanon,

but theyre doing the worst theyve been in a long long time during the game, because of family issues

So anyway, chara dissapears when frisk shows up, and maddy assumes this is becaude frisk hurt their fragile feelings

Maddy spends hours desperately searching the ruins for chara and cant find them and assumes that they had their heart crushed and went to hide and disappear in a depression coma for another few decades, and thats part of why maddy is so furious with frisk

Like,, to be clear, maddy is still jumping to conclusions and throwing blame around with no proof, but also, its a logical conclusion to come to

And mettaton has already disappeared too and been gone for a while, too, by this point, so it hurts even worse

But anyway, what actually happened to chara is that;

Because chara is a human ghost, not a monster ghost, normal ghost rules dont apply to them

And they can possess living things too they find out

Maybe they knew it a long time ago, maybe its a new discovery, but for whatever reason they end up possessing frisk and theyre like “what the heck”

And frisk still has most of the control

But now chara is like,,, “this is my chance, im a human again, gotta save the world for real,,,”

and they cant explain this to anyone without revealing their past

so they just chill in frisk’s mind while being super crypic and trying to figure out how it works

Pacifist route, this is pretty much exactly what happens

They manage to help frisk save the day

And in my headcanon, the no mercy route is started by frisk who is scared when faced by monsters attacking them

And then chara, who was aready hiding in a semidepression coma for a while, immediately transitions to a panicked “gotta protect this body, gotta protect my chance to be human, i died and threw away my chance to save everyone the first time, i CANNOT lose this chance again”

And so the combination of both frisk and chara is the genocide run

Because frisk kills in self defense, and whenever frisk hesitates, chara jumps in

Also theres leftover feelings from the whole asriel incident

Because again, ghosts come from monsters who died unsatisfied

And chara’s main source of unsatisfaction is how they were trying to get asriel to kill people before he died and then he didnt

So thats a strong strong feeling ruling them

So anyway by the time they both realize how bad its become they figure its too late and also the amount of LOVE has made them numb

And thats when chara who, despite everything, still has idiot hero complex and thinks they need to save the world

So, while panicking, they step in at the very end, and erase the timeline and delete everything

And also to clarify

They DONT HAVE this power at any other point in the game

Because, guess why

They become corporeal

Just like maddy, the no mercy route is the only thing that gives them strong enough emotion to spontaneously become corporeal

So they become corporeal and as soon as they have a soul again and can reset again, they just erase everything

Ok back to fluff

Post pacifist route, they are still a non corporeal ghost

They can still float around and look just like the other blooks

And it takes them a while to open up about things, but they do end up moving back in with blooky so that blooky isnt completely alone

And also they do way better with a family

Also they can float through the mountain and talk to flowey down below and bring him news

And now that they know about him, they can bond with him and explain that they dont have a soul either but that doesnt mean theyre worthless

Oh ALSO

The other dead humans dont have ghosts

BECAUSE

ghosts only come from restless dead MONSTERS

and chara is the weird special exception

Because they were a monster when they died

They became a ghost and asriel didnt because they were way more restless and stressed than asriel was when both of them died

Like sure, asriel felt awful, but chara was the one who was way more like “this is my fault, i CANT die now, the world NEEDS me”

So anyway

charablook the emo tween ghost and asriel flowey the eldrich goat daisy are siblings once more and they hang out and eventually they are okay and have a family again

Thank you for reading, this has been my thoughts on a crack theory that accidentally went too far

This isnt even everything, maybe i’ll make a part two eventually, but i promised to have this post out like two days ago, so i wanted to post SOMTHING

Anyway leave your thoughts if youd like

Im not looking for people to disprove it, i already know its crazy, i dont think it was intentional by the game writers, but i do think its a fun concept

thats the fun of it, so if anyone wants to run with it im all for it lol

Thanks again! Have a nice day!

#no mercy #as a warning tag #chara undertale #napstablook undertale #fic tag #meta #analysis #crack theroy #undertale #i didnt edit this very much #so if there are any major typos or parts that didnt make sense #or were illegible #feel free to let me know so i can clarify

128 notes · View notes

n0-eyedtaissa · 3 years

Note

tell me what's wrong.- pope and clem

Every June, the world started to feel a little heavier around Clementine. She had never been the kid who was super excited about their birthday every year, she didn't want a birthday party, or to be the center of attention. She didn’t want to stand in front of her elementary school class while they sang her happy birthday. One time at sixth-grade science camp, Clementine had to stand in front of the kids from three other schools as they sang a science-themed version of the song, “Hoppy Birdie to Yew” and it was enough to make her take a long walk off of the short dock and right into the lake.

Point being, Clementine had never ben a fan of her birthday. No matter the circumstance, Clementine preferred to be on the sidelines and not in the spotlight. She was like that as a kid, and it got even worse after Kimber disappeared.

When the Pogues proposed throwing a celebratory kegger for their newest member’s birthday, Clementine adamantly refused. “Have the party or not, I don’t care. I’m not gonna go regardless” She told them. She wasn’t trying to be mean — Clementine swore up and down that she appreciated her new friends and the efforts that they’d be willing to go for her — she just didn’t want a birthday party. She wanted June 29th to be like any old regular, non-birthday day.

It’s a handful of days before Clementine’s least favorite day and the Pogues have all made themselves at home in the kitchen and in the living room at the Adams household. It had kind of become their new home base, given that the Chateau was still considered an active crime scene since what happened with Sarah and John B was technically still an open investigation.

(The Adams house got bonus points for the fact that they’d often have the house all to themselves while Lyle and Gat were out working on the Vita Caprice all day)

Even if Clementine’s dad was home, though, the Pogues didn’t feel like they had to contain themselves. It was a strange and new feeling, they were used to their friends’ parents immediately judging them for things that weren’t really their fault, the status that they were born into. Lyle Adams liked having the kids around. He missed having a household full of talking and laughter so when Clementine made friends with the rag-tag group of Pogues, he welcomed it. He ordered pizzas when he got home from work, told Clementine to invite her friends over when he was going to barbecue.

That day was no different, Lyle came home and Clementine was in the kitchen flipping grilled cheese sandwiches for herself and her friends. JJ is splayed across the couch with his feet in Pope’s lap and Kiara is sitting on the living room floor with her knees pulled up to her chest, fully engrossed in whatever movie was playing on the TV.

“Hello, teenagers!” Lyle greets the Pogues, groaning as he sits down in his reclining chair to take off his work boots.

“Hi Dad!”

He’s greeted with a chorus of hello’s in response and he looks over his shoulder to make sure that Clementine is still busy before turning to his daughter’s friends to ask them an important question:

“Has Clem mentioned anything to you kids about what she wants to do for her birthday?” Lyle cranes his neck to make sure that his daughter was still busy in the kitchen.

“We’re on strict orders not to mention the B-word” Pope shrugs.

“The b-word?” JJ raises an eyebrow. “Bitches?” His comment earns him a dissapointed look for both Pope and Clementine’s dad, with Kiara coming in clutch to whack him with a pillow from the couch.

“Birthdays, you idiot!” Kie whisper-shouts, just loud enough for Clementine to hear it over it in the kitchen.

Theres a clatter from the kitchen as Clementine drops the spatula. “I don’t want to do anything for my birthday,” She reminds them, pointedly. “For all it matters to everyone, June 29th doesn't exist, okay? Please” She walks around the corner to the living room and sets down the plate of grilled cheese sandwiches that she made for everybody before turning down the hallway and padding her way back towards her bedroom.

“Oh, Clementine...” Lyle sighs, getting up from his chair and leaving the rest of the Pogues to their plans, knowing that was the end of the conversation.

“What’s wrong with her, PMS?” JJ asks dumbly, barely lifting his head off the couch.

Kiara scoffs at him. “Do you even know what that stands for?”

“Uh, yeah Kie, ‘pissed at men syndrome’” JJ replies in full confidence. He looks to Pope for confirmation, who just shakes his head. JJ was off, but not completely.

Pope pushes JJ’s legs out of his lap and smooths down the wrinkles in the front of his button-up. “I’ll go talk to her” He says, walking around the couch and making his way towards Clementine’s closed bedroom door. He knocks —three quick, hollow raps— but there’s no answer. So he knocks again, leaning in close and mumbling “It’s Pope”

The door opens quickly and quietly, with Clementine’s green eye peeking through the crack to confirm that it indeed was Pope. She opens the door further to let him in and Pope realizes this is the first time he’s ever been in Clementine’s room. Actually, this was only the second girl’s bedroom he’d ever been in (though he didn't really fully count Kiara because they’d grown up together).

Pope steps inside and Clem closes the door behind him. He stands in the middle of the room, not knowing what to do with himself or his hands so he just looks around a little. There were still a handful of boxes sitting around, but the room was coming together quite nicely. Clementine’s twin-sized bed was pushed into one corner against the wall under a handful of posters from bands that he’d never heard of, all poached from Kimber’s old bedroom. On top of her tall dresser sat a trinket dish in the shape of a ripe orange peach, filled with earrings and rings, other “girl things” that Pope had never really noticed before. He likes looking at the photos that were in small frames all around Clementine’s bedroom; pictures of her and her parents, pictures of her and Kimber when they were both younger, all missing teeth and messy pigtail braids. Pope likes that Clementine is smiling in all of these pictures and he hopes that someday soon there would be pictures of the Pogues posted around her bedroom too.

“Tell me what’s wrong” Pope says, sitting down in the desk chair, not wanting to seem presumptuous in some way by sitting on her bed.

“It’s just...” Clementine starts, feeling her throat tighten up with emotion. She stops and takes a deep breath, remembering that it was Pope that she was talking to and that she didn’t have to hide from him. “My sister disappeared three days after my last birthday. You know, in some ways, my birthday was the last day that I got to see her and to spend time with her and—” Clementine’s voice breaks and she takes a second to compose herself.

“It’s just hard to feel like there’s anything worth celebrating after that.” Clementine excuses, flopping down onto her bed with a big sigh as she reached for one of her pillows.

“I mean, it’s not uncommon to feel that way” Pope starts cautiously. He doesn't want to patronize her, or to tell her something she’s heard a dozen times before. “It’s the anniversary effect. After someone goes through something traumatic, the body remembers it, y’know, so when that anniversary comes back around the body goes into that fight or flight mode to protect the brain.”

Clementine nods along as she process the information. She liked that Pope spoke in tangibles like that, he could rationalize most things away with a factoid or a definition. It made things easier to understand, and when they were easier to understand, they were easier to get through.

“That makes sense” She nods, chewing on her bottom lip as she thought. “Yeah, I could see that”

Pope glances up at her “You really shouldn't let that stop you from celebrating your birthday, though. Eighteen is the big one. It’s worth celebrating.”

“Like I said Pope, you guys can have a party without me” Clementine squeezes her pillow close to her chest and for a shadow of a moment it’s like Pope is looking at the younger version of Clem from the photos on her dresser.

“It doesn’t have to be a party” Pope is turns to Clementine. He picks up one of Clementine’s hair barrettes that was sitting on her desk and fiddles with it while he talks. “What if— what if we do something?”

Clementine looks up at him with a curious gleam in her eye. “Who’s we?” She smirks, trying to test the waters.

Pope can’t help that he’s nervous but he finally mumbles “Me and you”

Clementine’s eyes blow wide but it’s not in a bad way. She’s surprised, the good kind of surprised. A pleasant, unexpected but not intimidating surprise. She knew Pope and she liked Pope; she liked the way him brain worked and the way that he looked at the world. Clementine could trust Pope.

“Okay” She nods. “Me and you. What’s the plan?” Clementine looks up at Pope and smiles.

“I didn't expect you to say yes so fast, so...” Pope laughs “I don't know yet, but I’ll figure something out. Do you trust me?”

Clementine nods. Easily. Even Pope looks surprised.

“Good. Okay, good, yeah. I’ll come up with a plan — but not, like, too much of a plan. A chill plan” Pope starts rambling like he did when he was equal parts nervous and excited. Clementine laughs, actually feeling excited for her birthday for the first time in years.

“So are we havin’ a party or what?” JJ asks when Pope and Clementine finally make their way back to the living room.

Pope shakes his head no. “She drives a hard bargain, but I tried” He lies, giving Clementine a subtle wink when no one was looking.

“Whoops” Clementine shrugs, smirking at Pope. She liked that her and Pope could have a secret that was just theirs and theirs alone. Something small, inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, but a secret nonetheless. It had been a long time since Clementine had kept a secret like that; a secret that wouldn’t hurt anyone.

Part of her expected the Pogues to be upset with her for breaking the unspoken rule; to have a good time all the time. Even though she’d been friends with Pope, Kiara, and JJ for awhile now, Clementine couldn't help but feel insecure around them sometimes. The Pogues had all been friends since they were kids and Clementine sometimes found herself working twice as hard to be able to fit in with them. It was like she was constantly waiting for them all to change their minds and throw her out as chum, so it was a pleasant reminder to know that the three of them respected her enough to be okay with her requests, no matter of that meant canceling a kegger. Everyone just simply nodded their heads, no birthday party, and went on with their afternoons like nothing even happened.

When Clementine’s birthday finally arrives, she almost forgets about it. She’s woken up early by her doorknob twisting open, her dad’s heavy footfalls a dead giveaway of his presence even when he wasn’t wearing his work boots. Lyle sits on the edge of Clementine’s bed, leaning over her stirring body to tickle her nose. “They say it’s your birthday” He whisper-sings a couple bars of the old Beatles song as he tries to persuade Clementine to wake up fully. “I'm glad it's your birthday...Happy birthday to you,” Lyle skips around a little in the song but Clementine barely notices.

She finally concedes and squints an eye open at her dad. “Do you really think it’s smart to annoy me first thing on my birthday?” She grumbles.

Lyle laughs as he looks down at Clementine, who’s hair was sticking up in all kinds of directions. “Don’t be a jackass, you love me” He teases.

“Not this early in the morning” Clementine teases him back, poking him with her toe. “What time is it?”

“7:58 AM, the exact time you were born, Tiny” Lyle feels nostalgic as he looks at Clementine, thinking of the day she was born and all of her birthdays after. He can remember the first time he held Clementine in his hands: six pounds, eight ounces, a small little tuft of hair. He can remember watching Kimber hold her new little sister for the first time and now she was gone and Clementine was eighteen...

“You would think I’d be a morning person in that case” Clementine mumbles, sitting up in her bed and rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

“It would've made the last eighteen years a lot easier” Lyle agrees with a laugh, ruffling Clementine’s hair before getting up from his perch on the edge of her bed. “Get those feet on the floor, kid. Pope’s going to be here in a little bit and it’s gonna take you awhile to fix that hair” He laughs and ducks before Clementine can chuck one of her pillows at him.

“Did I tell you about that?” Clementine raises an eyebrow as she has to think back.

“Pope texted me about it yesterday” Lyle shrugs off the comment like it’s no big deal, but it’s enough new information for Clementine to be more awake and alert.

“Since when do you have Pope’s phone number?” Clementine interrogates as follows her dad out of her bedroom and towards the dining room, hell-bent on figuring out how and why her dad was in the loop with her friends.

“I think he got it from JJ...”

Clementine’s eyes blow wide again. “What is even happening?”

“I’d tell you all about it, Tiny, but I’m already late for work and your friend is on the way, and you’re still in your shark pajamas” Lyle shrugs, giving his now-adult daughter one last teasing grin as he filled up his big thermos with black coffee and prepared to head out the door. “Have fun with Pope, okay? And go fix your hair” He kisses Clementine on the forehead and makes his way out the front door, leaving her and her shark pajamas alone in the stark silence.

Clementine shuffles into the bathroom and turns on the shower to let the water warm up. She looks at herself in the mirror, minding her messy hair and the pillow creases still marking her cheek, and tries to see if she can notice anything different about herself. She can’t, not right yet, so she gives up just as quick as she starts before stepping into the shower and letting herself be engulfed in the steam.

Clementine had expected Pope to be there early, but not that early, so she’s surprised when she’s clipping on her favorite pair of overalls and hears a knock at the front door. She walks down the hallway, still towel-drying her hair as she unlocks the door, already knowing who she would find on the other side.

“You’re early” Clementine says, shaking water droplets from the ends of her short hair. She can’t help but notice how she feels weirdly self conscious at letting him see her only half-ready right now, feet still bare and wet hair slicked back out of her face.

“Always” Pope remarks with a sheepish laugh, stepping inside around Clementine. “I brought you something” He says and Clem notices the white crinkly pastry bag he has clutched in one hand that was poorly hidden behind his back.

“I thought we said no birthday things...” Clementine eyes him suspiciously as she sits down on the couch to put on her shoes and favorite pair of socks (the white ones with pink trim and the fruit pattern).

Pope laughs as he rests the small bag on the arm of the couch before sitting down on the other side of Clementine. “It’s not a birthday thing, I swear”

Expecting to find a cupcake or some treat of a more celebratory nature, Clementine is pleasantly surprised when she opens the small pastry bag and sees a pink and orange sprinkled donut.

“I was gonna get a cupcake but I figured you wouldn’t like that, so I got a donut instead. Because that’s not a birthday food, that’s just breakfast” Pope explains his logic and Clementine laughs as she takes a big bite.

The two of them leave the Adams house and Pope has his dad’s truck parked out front. Clementine looks over at him, clearly impressed that he had poached Heyward’s truck solely so he could pick her up and spend time with her on her birthday. She feels a certain sort of misplaced fondness when she looks at Pope, appreciative of him and all of his idiosyncrasies.

It’s a short drive over to the Chateau where the HMS Pogue had been parked and both Clementine and Pope are keeping their eyes peeled for any pesky Pogues that might have been hanging around. It wasn’t like their friends were unwelcome on the excursion, but it wasn’t really something that would be attractive to their high energy levels. Soon enough, Pope is lugging his backpack and ice chest down the docks to set down on one of the cracked leather seats of the Pogue before extending his hand for Clementine to step down into the boat after she ties off. The boat starts up easily and Pope drives it off carefully. Clementine pulls her sunglasses out from her backpack (the ones that she stole from the rest stop in the middle of nowhere all those months ago when she first moved to the Outer Banks) and slides them on to shield herself from the midmorning sun.

Pope smiles as he looks at Clementine in her heart-shaped sunglasses, her cut-off overalls, and her fun pattered socks. He likes Clementine and he likes being around her, though Pope likes her in a different way than the rest of his friends. He like that Clementine has a different perspective on things than the rest of the Pogues do, with judgement unclouded by years of living in the Outer Banks and watching two communities grow more and more divided.

Pope realizes that he’s been staring at her for too long so he clears his throat. “I, uh, I like your overalls”

Clementine looks up, puzzled. “I wear these all the time”

“I know” Pope nods, “I like them all the time” He reveals with a simple shrug.

Clementine feels her face heat up so she turns away from Pope, mumbling out a meek “Thank you”.

Pope expertly maneuvers the small, tin-can boat through the marsh before dropping the anchor somewhere in the middle of the calm water. The current’s not very strong yet so the boat just sits on top of the blue-green water, bobbing along on top of the small waves. It’s calm and it’s quiet, two things that both Clementine and Pope appreciated. It was still early enough in the day where the sun hadn’t fully broke through the clouds yet so it wasn’t too hot but it wasn’t too cold either. It was perfect. Neither of them worried much about talking, silence didn’t make either one of them uncomfortable like it did when they were around JJ and Kiara. With them there was always the need to be doing something, or making a plan about what they were going to do later. JJ and Kiara would already be complaining of boredom if they were there, whining about how no one brought beer or weed. So for Clementine and Pope to be able to sit quietly side by side, it was a welcome change of pace.

Clementine sprawls out across the bench seat of the HMS and lays there with her eyes closed, taking in the feeling of the sun warming up her face and listening to the birds as they chirped. “This is nice” She says after awhile, “I couldn’t even tell you the last time I felt this calm on my birthday”

Pope feels a bubble of anxious excitement build in his chest, flattered at the recognition of his efforts and the way that Clementine genuinely seemed to appreciate that he listened to her wishes. “Yeah JJ was trying to convince us that you wanted a party anyways,” he laughs. “’Girls are always like that, you know, sayin’ one thing but meanin’ the opposite’” Pope puts on his best surfer sounding voice, doing a damn good impression of JJ.

Clementine laughs. “Wow, it’s like he’s right here with us” She rolls her eyes.

“No if he was with us, you’d know. I think he’s physically incapable of being quiet for more than five minutes” Pope points out and Clementine can’t really argue with that.

The day goes on, slow and lackadaisical. The two of them just lay around the Pogue, enjoying the silence and the slow rocking of the boat on the water. It’s nice to not feel like you had to talk, that it was okay and somehow more special and sentimental to sit in comfortable silence with someone. A handful of hours pass by of them just sitting and relaxing, sometimes talking and sometimes not. Pope pulls a book out from his backpack and reads it quietly, looking up every once in awhile at Clementine, who looked like she might have fallen asleep at the other end of the boat.

“You awake over there?” Pope calls out and Clementine squints one eye open at him as she pulls her sunglasses down.

“Barely” She yawns. “What are you reading?” Clementine stands up slowly, making her way to where Pope was sitting at the stern of the boat. She sits down next to him and rests her head on his shoulder. Clementine isn't really sure what came over her to make her do that, but Pope doesn’t move so she doesn't either.

Instead of just simply showing her the cover of his book, Pope clears his throat and begins to read aloud:

“Roads go ever ever on, Under cloud and under star. Yet feet that wandering have gone Turn at last to home afar. Eyes that fire and sword have seen, And horror in the halls of stone Look at last on meadows green, And trees and hills they long have known. The Road goes ever on and on Down from the door where it began. Now far ahead the Road has gone, And I must follow, if I can, Pursuing it with eager feet, Until it joins some larger way, Where many paths and errands meet.”

It’s Tolkien, Clementine can recognize it easily. She remembers reading his books while sitting in her dad’s lap when she was younger, watching all of the Lord of the Rings movies on the couch with her eyes glazed over, too invested to even want to blink and miss so much as a second. It’s even better because Pope was good at reading aloud. He had a rhythmic, even tone to his voice that made the words seem punctuated and more important — the kind of voice that made you want to listen even closer. Clementine appreciated someone who could read out loud. It always annoyed her in school when a teacher would make the whole class go paragraph by paragraph and would force each student to sound out every word (even when the person who was reading was clearly struggling).

She hums contentedly as she listens to Pope round out the last stanza, taking in the words his reading and relishing in the clean smell of laundry detergent from his crisp button-down shirt:

“Still 'round the corner there may wait A new road or secret gate; And though I oft have passed them by, A day will come at last when I Shall take the hidden paths that run West of the Moon, East of the Sun.”

“I like it” Clementine says once Pope finishes reading, closing his book. “What do you think it means?”

Pope’s heart skips a beat when she asks that. It was so abnormal for him to have someone he considered a friend truly indulge him in his academic interests. Sure, Kiara and JJ appreciated his niche knowledge, but neither of them cared enough to ask Pope about his personal interpretation of things.

“I think...” Pope pauses for a minute to gather his thoughts. “I think it’s all about the journey home after this great adventure” He says, knowing the feeling all too well. “It’s about leaving behind the hard stuff and going home, where you already know your place. You don’t have to journey hard to find it, you’re there.”

“It’s a metaphor for life” Clementine nods along, in full agreeance with what Pope was saying.

“Exactly!” Pope says, nearly out of breath with excitement.

The two of them go back to their non-academic conversations after that, talking about books they had read and wanted to read, movies that they’d seen enough times to be able to commit full scenes of dialogue to memory. It’s warmer now, a lot warmer, and the afternoon sun beats down on Clementine and Pope, making them shield their eyes from the reflection of the sun on the water. Clementine pulls her plastic heart-shaped sunglasses off and puts them on Pope, who bursts out into laughter.

“Is this it? Is this the look?” He strikes a pose.

“Your best look yet, Pope” Clementine confirms, giggling.

Pope keeps the cheap sunglasses on for a few minutes, glad that JJ and Kiara weren’t around to make fun of him. He grabs his ice chest from where it was sitting on the cracked leather boat seat and opens it up, retrieving two cold glass bottles of lemonade (the same kind that Clementine liked to buy from Heyward’s when she walked through town). He hands one of the bottles to Clementine who accepts gratefully, though she struggles to open up the cap. There’s a handful of snacks in Pope’s arsenal: barbecue chips, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that were wrapped in foil, four packets of fruit snacks, and a cluster of small mandarin oranges (known more colloquially as clementines).

Pope smirks as he picks up one of the small oranges. “Care for a clementine, Clementine?”

She laughs, watching as Pope tosses one up and catches it. “You eat it. If I did, it’d be cannibalism”

Now usually anyone else would falter at a joke made about eating people, but Pope beams over at her, clearly in appreciation of her sense of humor. The two of them eat their lunch in silence until Pope’s phone starts vibrating on the seat next to him. He picks it up and sees that it’s JJ calling; he holds up the phone so Clementine can see it too, his goofy contact picture on full display.

Clementine takes Pope’s phone from his hand and answers it. “This is Mr. Heyward’s phone, how may I be of service?” She puts on her best customer service voice to throw JJ off.

“What’re you doing, Clam, give the phone to Pope” JJ recognizes her voice right away and uses his nickname for Clementine to get her to drop the act.

“Ugh, do you really have to call me that on my birthday?” She rolls her eyes and hands the phone over to Pope. “It’s for you...”

“Pope, did you poach the Pogue?!” JJ interrogates, having gone over to the Chateau to retrieve the boat and coming up empty.

“You know, I can’t confirm or deny” Pope tries to play it cool but it’s no use.

“Just come pick us up, alright?” JJ questions, not even waiting for Pope’s response before hanging up the phone.

“Duty calls?” Clementine laughs, standing up to pull at the boat anchor so they could get back to the rest of their very impatient friends. Pope shrugs at her in response. “It was nice while it lasted”

“I’m just sorry it wasn’t more exciting”

Clementine looks at Pope strangely, as if she couldn't believe that he would be apologetic after the day that they spent together. She didn't want something exciting, like, at all. After her last birthday, and her sister disappearing only a handful of days later, Clementine had enough excitement for a few years. She wanted to have a relaxing birthday, which she did, with Pope.

“Honestly, Pope, this was the best birthday I had in years” Clementine reveals, walking closer to Pope and wrapping her skinny arms around him. It takes him a second to relax into the hug but he does, resting his head on top of her own and inhaling the floral smell of her shampoo.

“Thank you” She mumbles into his chest.

“Anytime” Pope replies. And he meant that.

#fic: don't you forget about me #obx oc: clementine adams #clementine x pope #pope heyward x oc #pope heyward one shot #pope heyward fic #jj maybank x oc #kiara carrera x oc

14 notes · View notes

rhinotheamazing · 3 years

Text

One side, Two lives

Chapter nine

Nothing but a bad memory

First Previous Next

Warnings: swearing and eating disorder

Roman had woken up feeling awful and tired. He looked over at his clock and saw that it was three am. He had went to sleep at midnight.

Get up already you piece of shit. Roman sighed heavily. The voice practically never left him alone at this point.

Roman was a pretty tolerant person. He put up with a lot even though he didn’t think he it. So the fact that he was actually annoyed and angry at this voice spoke volumes.

You know you’re a real fucking jackass sometime. Roman said as he got out of bed and headed towards his closet.

Well theres no way I could be worse than you, though that isn’t a very high bar is it? Roman paused as he was grabbing his jacket, not being able to say anything in response.

No witty retort for that huh? That’s because you know its true.

“Shut up” Roman growled to the darkness. This had become an unpleasant routine for the light side. Wake up, be insulted, pretend to eat, work on projects, workout till he felt like he might break, and then work on his projects again until he passes out. Then repeat the next day.

Roman took a deep breath to calm himself down, he knew listening to voice wasn’t helpful for others so he tried his best not to listen. Though it did get hard when he agreed with it.

Enough talking, since I’m up early I might as well get things done. Roman though as he finished getting ready for the day and went over to his desk. He already had the next three videos planed out and scripted so he didn’t have much assigned work to do. Never the less he still pulled out his laptop and started typing out ideas that could work.

* time skip

Roman sighed and leaned back in his chair. He just finished writing out the next video, all he had to do now is finish putting the script together. He got up to stretch and checked the time. He was a bit surprise to see it was already nine am.

“Shit, I didn’t think it would take me that long.” The prince cursed to himself.

This is why you have to wake up early. Sleeping is a waste of time since you clearly don’t have the skill it takes to get your work done like a normal person. The voice said inside his head.

“Ya I guess you have a point.” Roman said as he brushed some of the stray hairs out of his face. His stomach growled which kinda surprised him. Geez how long has it been since I last ate? Roman tried to think and realize he hadn’t eaten in three days. Well shit, guess I have to eat today.

Technically you don’t have too. The voice said in a cruel tone. Roman rolled his eyes. I don’t want to but if I don’t I’ll pass out and I need to finish this script. The voice grumbled and that was as close as it ever came to agreeing with Roman.

The creative side walked out of his room and down the stairs. He didn’t hear anyone else up so he didn’t bother to shape shift yet. He walked into the still dark kitchen and went to grab an apple from a boll on the counter. Kinda odd that Patton isn’t up yet. Maybe he’s taking a second chill day or something. Roman thought to himself.

He looked down at the apple in his hand and his face twisted in disgust. The idea of eating, it was just, not fun. It’s hard to explain. He felt like he was going to eat poison instead of normal food. Like eating would cause him some sort of disease. It’s just an apple, come on Roman. The creative side took a bite of the apple and chewed. Dammit why must this be so hard.

The prince somehow finished the apple and threw away the pit. He went back to his room and went over to his mirror. He had been rather cautious with going into the imagination ever since the voice had come back. It always got so much louder there that Roman had a hard time remembering that the voice was in his mind and not a person talking right next to him. Roman shook his head and walked through the door. Today the imagination was a bit cloudier but the prince simply smiled at the dark clouds. Unlike most he never saw rain as a bad thing like most people did. To him the rain was calm and beautiful, something that kept the plants and animals alive.

The prince started off towards a shoreline he and his brother had made when they where younger. Right next to the water sat a large cliff and today Roman’s goal was to climb it. It made for a good workout and the danger of it all was just fun to the princely character. Once he finishes his short jog the shore he looked up at the might mountain cliff. It was hard to quite see the top from his point of view and it made the creative side smile at the challenge.

The adventurer started his climb, summoning some gloves and sneakers to make it ever so slightly easier. He was already in a more adventuresome outfit, jeans and an old shirt and jacket, but he had a certain pair of sneakers that where specifically for this. He started his way up (not using a rope but meh, who needs them) and was making decent time, especially considering his lack of sleep and food recently.

When he was half way up he looked out at the view before him. The early morning sun was shining through the clouds and onto the water making it sparkle, the wind carrying the smell of the sea. Roman smiled, he used to come here a lot when he and his brother where younger, it was one of the first places they had made.

The memories where nice until they reach a certain point. Roman grimaced slightly, he didn’t like to think back to what happened, but the voice had brought those thoughts back to the fore front of his mind. He’s just a voice now, calm down. Roman told himself and tried to refocus on his task at hand.

Keep telling yourself that. The voice said, nearly making the prince loose his grip. He had been so lost in thought that he forgot the voice could hear everything he was thinking.

Shut up. You’re nothing but a bad memory at this point, you have no power over me. Roman practically growled in his mind as he started to climb faster.

Do you really think that? Roman didn’t respond but kept climbing. Because he wasn’t sure. Ever since the voice had re appeared the red side had felt a feeling of dread. He didn’t like to think about the feeling too much, summing it up the feeling to unpleasant memories coming back. He shook his head and looked up, he was getting close to the top of the cliff at this point which put a small bit of ease into the prince’s mind.

Roman was pretty tired when he finally pulled himself up to the top of the cliff. Not eating enough was starting to catch up to him and the thought made said side scowl. He sat up a little and looked around. The top of the cliff was covered in green grass that swayed in the wind and the tree line was only a few meters away. In total in was a rather lovely and calm place to be.

Maybe one of these days I’ll take Virgil here, I bet he would love the fireflies that come out at night.Roman smiled a bit at that thought, and looked up at the slightly stormy clouds. It looked like it would rain any minute and the creative side was glad he had finished his climb before that happened.

He laid down on his back and tried to catch his breath, he was more tired than he thoughts he would be. As he looked behind him he saw a mountain in the distance and looked away. He absolutely hated that place even though he was the one who made it. That was the last place he had seen- just before he could finish the that thought a drop of rain fell on his nose.

A light rain started so the prince decided it was time to head back. He walked back to his door that was part of an ancient looking tree that was on the edge of the meadow. The entire way there the voice chastised the red side about being tired and not being strong enough. By the time Roman was back in his room his self esteem was extremely low. He changed into a pair of jeans and a comfy T-shirt and threw his now soaked outfit into a corner.

He wanted to throw himself onto his bed however sadly he knew he had work to do; but first he had to change his bandages.

His ribs were pretty much healed at this point so Roman hadn’t seen a problem with doing a bit of adventuring. He saw that it was 12 at this point and it felt like his day was dragging on forever. The prince sighed and went over to look at the work on his desk. The video he was working on was pretty simple, just Thomas having fun with his friends doing a few different challenges that have to do with musicals. He figured that he could give himself a little break and went to go get water for him and Alexander. He was certain that the others would be up at this point so he shapeshifter just a bit and made his clothes look a little bit nicer.

Man I’m using up a lot of energy today with summoning. Roman thought as he sighed and fixed his hair just a bit. He straitened his posture and strolled into the room unsurprised to see Logan writing something down at the table.

“Hey specks, what do you think of todays fine morning?” The princely character said with a faked smile. He grabbed two glasses of water and went to sit at the table. The logical side responded without even looking up from his work.

“Not bad, I was able to finish up my work pretty early so I decided to start on some of my own projects.” A small smile was on the logical side’s face which made the prince curios. So he stood up and looked at the notebook in hand and saw a familiar creature drawn onto the page.

“How do you know about zip lions?” The creative side asked, clear confusion written on his face. Logan finally looked up.

“A zip lion?” Roman nodded

“That’s what your drawing isn’t it? That’s clearly a drawing of Suzan, only her main looks like that.” Roman said tapping the part of the drawing that had a very fluffy main.

“So that’s what they’re called.” Logan said looking back at his drawing. “Suzan was very nice by the way.” Roman went to go sit back in his chair.

“Yah but how do you even know her?” The logical side shrugged.

“Remus took me to the imagination yesterday.” Romans eyes went wide and he could never let up the opportunity to tease people.

“Wow didn’t know you and Remus went on a date.” Roman said with a smirk. Logan’s face turned bright red as he looked up from his notebook. He struggled to find anything to say. It was pretty funny to watch, the same Logan who almost always had something to say was speechless and that was quite the accomplishment in Roman’s book.

“Calm down I was just messing with you.” Roman said. He liked messing with his friends but he didn’t want to ruin Remus’s chances with the nerd. Logan re adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat.

“Well it most certainly wasn’t a date but it was nice. Your brother is quite the interesting person Roman.” Logan said with a soft smile. Roman smiled. He definitely has a crush on Remus. Of course instead of saying that the prince faked gaged.

“Hearing complements about my brother is killing me.” Logan rolled his eyes. The prince got up and stretched, though it did hurt his side a bit.

“Well, I have script to finish. Bye specks.” Logan nodded to him and Roman went back to his room. He gave the water to Alexander and the fly trap gave a sound similar to purring. The creative side smiled and petted the plant’s head a few times before going over to his desk. He finished up his work relatively quickly and putt his materials away. He didn’t have much else to do so he decided that he would just watch some Disney shows.

After selecting Gravity Falls the creative side jumped into his bed and wrapped himself in a blanket. Since the day had been rather stressful he decided that he would try to relax before Patton called them all to get dinner. As the prince fell asleep the voice started to think. He absolutely hated Roman but he needed him for the mean time to make his plan work. Just you wait Roman, one day, you’ll be the one that’s nothing but a bad memory.

That took a while to write. Anyways I hope you’re all thoroughly worried for the future. It’s a lot of fun to make scenes creepy and stuff. Well, that all for now humans, have a good day, bye!

Tag list:

@lovelivingmydreams

#my writting #roman sanders #logan sanders #eating disorder #sander sides #pride!roman #roman angst

15 notes · View notes

snow-wind-and-all-we-will-find · 3 years

Text

Hi! My names arthur and im working on improving my word and building my story, which currently has no name haha! I have a myriad of characters who ill try to list out and give brief descriptions of, aether is technically my main character and some of the characters who are up for question are dead in canon. But you can still ask them stuff, itll just be set before death.

When asking characters questions, rememeber to include the name, their age if theres diffrent ages, i dont mind repeated questions, but if you see the question try not to ask it again lol. If you cant find it with a quick scroll just ask it, although i dont know if this blog will even get that big.

Aether

He comes in three evolutions lol, technically, theres four but idk if i would count 7 year old aether.

Ages: 13 yo - colder, hasnt gotten used to emotions, there are two to this as well, pre-rev and then post-rev 13 yo aether, remember to specify lol.

16 yo- a bit more out there, still kinda disconnected and figuring things out, a bit more defensive

22 yo- lax, hes sorta figured shit out, hes not going to go grazy, hes just gonna be chill lol.

!The gaggle Ghosts!

Yurei

Her personality is very, ehhh, becuase i havnt done work with her, and i havnt completly figured out who she is fully yet, shes 18 yo when aether is 22 yo

18 yo- pretty oblivious, somehow still a bit cynical, very nice and sometimes motherly

Kakoku

Few thousand- mean, likes to bully yurei as he huants her, lowkey a simp for yurei but he wont admit that. Kinda cynical and likes to bring others down, generally a bully

Tamashi

19- emotionless, has to be a really strong emotion to make her emote, tends to stray away from other people, likes to be alone, blunt

Gunnar

A few thousand- sweet, warm and welcoming, tries to be very fatherly and a trusted figure, is very busy most of the tiime unfortunatly though.

!The greek gang!

Argus agapov

16- unstable, pretty baby, protective over friends and family

Mythos agapov

23- whore. He also loves his family, lowkey, hes a trad wife

Perceus

15/16- timid, intrested in posiosn and acids, generally quiet, likes to eat leaves, scaredy cat

Diogenes

14- germ of phobe, kind of a brat, more just a bitch, will yell at you if he sees your hands were dirty from gardening or something while you’re walking to the sink, other than that hes fine, picky eater

Herodotus

15- disorginized, trys his best, likes to write stuff down, helps plato with his writing and grammar in general, gullible, likes record data, has a nice typewriter with tha good clicky clack

Plato

8- sweet baby boi, loves his older brother (socrates), idolizes him even, not a good idea though. He writes down everything socrates does, sometimes he imitates his brother as well.

Socrates

17- dumb of ass, also just dumb, held back a grade, feral child, bites alot of people, soft aestechic but hed stab as a warning

Heracles

30- also dumb of ass, loves cars in that ‘mah babeh’ kinda way. Hates motorcycles, he thinks they’re ugly. Chaotic but he utilizes it to be the weird and cool uncle/cousin thing

Zeus

46- too tired for this shit, is a dad, went out to get milk, jk jk, dissapeared for a hot few years, probably got captured by some gang dunno, it happens. Very serious, would make the dumbest jokes with his brothers with a straight face

Hades

50- lowkey the neglected middle child, soft goth lookin ass, loves his kid, tries his best to raise his kid, sometimes gets help from esme

Poseidon

57- proud stay at home dad, buff but does the typically wifely duties, makes sure his children get enough love, nutrience and care

Lillith

54- very active, the money maker, kinda soft, both her and her husband poseidon are so just in love with their kids, dote on them constantly, very extroverted, always makes time for her kids

Esme

51- tired of zeus’ shit, does her best to make sure no one dies, still treats mythos as her ‘little baby boy, tired mom vibes.

!the Eden gang!

Eden is a fictional country that i slapped onto the globe. It is where aether is from, technically aether is apart of the eden gang as well. Everyone here, if they have an age option, the first age option is the age they are when aether is 13, and the second will be when aether is 16 unless stated otherwise

General kyelli

49- fatherly, thinks of most of the gang as his children, calls everyone ‘son’, as a general rule. If you ask for another nickname, he will do his best. Has a bad knee, and is kinda of bad at existing physically

52+- fatherly still, loves almonds, always has a bag of almonds, dont test him. Enjoys travel, might adopt people he meets along the way, still has pains but now he sees doctors, wants to stay active

Indigo

13- sweet, optimistic, always looks on the brightside and tries to see the good in others. Little heater, understands that sometimes fighting is the only option

Akrano

16- lively, very loose and relax, can get serious when needed though, always making jokes and trying to lighten up the mood

19- a bit more, mellow. Still quite lively and childish, but with two signifigant-others you have to settle down sometimes

Ekrano

16- lively, more stern than akrano and kinda worried, but ultimatly also very loose and bright

Lilliana

16- serious, seemingly colder towards everyone, gets along great with psycho-lops, makes him new eye-patches to pass time, actually just very monotone and blank most of the time, although she does care

19- she doesnt change much, she got a bit more expressive, likes babysitting howl

Psycho-lops

16 1/2- always looks determined, actually kinda scared of conflict, likes to help out with healing though, very proficient in it as well, sounds intimidating while talking about how cute puppies and kittens are

19/20- still the same, is considering studying medicine and medical practices to become a doctor.

Bark

17- bright, incredibly lively, loves to joke around and tease and sometimes bully the others, targets aether primarily, hangs out with his brother most of the time, he can fight for himself but he likes the backup, especcially since he is kinda glass-jawed, being that hes a twig

Bite

17- quiet, intense eyes, always sounds vaugly confused when he speaks, deep voice lol, likes to train, doesnt understand barks need to tease others, likes to read to the children

20- quiet, intense eyes still, more so nervous sounding, slightly paranoid, cluastrophobic and cant stand dusty places, usually in his house or at the docks, doesnt really go anywhere else

Hanelle

17- loud, headstrong, adamant about her opinions, gets along well with bark, she tries alot to be intimidating, not a twig, but not very big, pretty friendly and sociable

!the band of pirates!

Aklea

A few hundreds of years- kinda bored seeming, loves blood, technically cannibal, but not really since he isnt human, to an extent. Despite being fine on the ocean, he gets very car sick very easily. Actually quite nice, very easily triggerd into violence, especcially by something that could be used as a good murder weapon, blood makes him jittery and more lively

Nerone

21- calm, too calm, deals with akleas bullshit wonerfully, he just stands there, blank smile on his face as aklea beats the shit outta someone, unintrested in most anything, likes to draw, but hes a much better pastry chef.

!the shakespears!

Midem(pink boi)

33- lively, loves to work with kids, very creative, likes to make things, mainly art, mainly carvings. Often make little minitures of scenes from midens writing, loves his twin, does anything it takes to fund midens intrests. Very loving to those hes close to

Miden

33- calmer by alot lmao, pretty introverted but he can hold a long conversation without becoming too drained, enjoys writing and making stories, also makes plays for fun, runs off little sleep cuase he stays up so late to write, and gets up early to write.

!gods!

Gideon

9 billion- confused boomer, loves his ‘children’, hates to be hated, always tries to help in anyway he can, despite making them, always curious into what mortals are doing, loves the universe he created and does anything he can to protect it

Merik

7 million- sore loser, does get a little salty, ultimatly bounces back and becomes a very good sport, always will adopt tactics, whatever it takes to win within the rules, keeps most all of his trophies from random feats hes done

Ventus

5 billion - calm, straightforward, tends to disregard others and do things himself, likes to sit on cliffs and watch the ocean

Kyle

Hes been around since 776 bc- very loud, lively, bright, tries his best to educate people on proper form, workout regime i intesne, doesnt allow others to take it, makes custom workout regimes for free, owns a gym, dude bro but hes nice, baby

Horo-sha

Her age technicaly is not accurate, shes like, 2 billion? Since dima was made right after her death. But since her history still lives, ima count it

5 billion but older than ventus- bitter, violent, former god of justice, fucking dead haha, hates mortals, primarily humans

Dima

Also not super accurate, hed only be a few centuries of being an active god before being sealed, but since hes technically, concious and has cognitive function hes counted

3 billion- mean lol, likes blood and gets even more violent when it starts getting messy, ‘new’ god of justice, uh, pretty bad at it like the last one, but worse, will kill over slight misdeameanors, everythings a crime smh

!misc!

Ivan

24- softspoken, from imperial russia, died young, he no longer feels his face is his own, has a mask that he likes better, has the sickness, but since he was human it killed him, can control it post mortem, is strong enough to be seen, but weak enough he can go invisible and go through solid objects.

More ocs will be added when i remember them, or create new ones, characters i dont really have built at all are not included

3 notes · View notes

twststuff · 3 years

Text

Have this little Drabble of the end of Cassie's first year. Warning, a bit gruesome, some more detailed description of blood but not too much I also haven't beta read it or particularly like it but it took me an hour to write so I'm going to post it anyways. There's a not at the end with some details.

Everything had been going great. School isn’t too hard, there was still time to paint, and she had friends that actually cared. Not only that but commissions were at an all time high. Malleus had just received his commission of a portrait of his dorm and seemed pleased with it, which was good. It had taken forever to get their eyes right. It had been amazing, better than anything she would have ever imagined she could have.

“Cassiopeia. It’s been a while.” Her blood went cold at the sound of a voice she hoped to never hear again. “Did you get my letters?” Turning around to look just made things worse. It wasn’t just Matthew.

“Hello Cassie~ That’s what you’re having people call you now, right Cissa? Personally I find the nickname I gave you better. A little more unique, don’t you think?” Eveline’s annoyingly shrill voice seemed so loud.

“Not so tough now huh? You’re all alone and outnumbered. You might have been able to keep us off before. After all, we have a reputation as RSA students to uphold.”

“RSA’s reputation went down the second they accepted you two. As for you Matthew, I got them. They’re in an evidence locker somewhere. Now I have things I need to do, so say what you want so we can all go on our way.” Every muscle in her body screamed at her to run, to get away from them as fast as she possibly could.

“I was just remembering the old days.” Matthew walked up to Cassie and pulled out the ribbon tying her hair into a braid. “What we could have had.” He almost sounded wistful, like he meant it. He stood there, twirling a lock of her hair in his hand while Cassie processed what was going on. “We could have had so much, could have been more.” He gasped when she slapped his hand back and kicked him in the stomach, forcing the air out of his lungs and making him drop to his knees. All the fear in Cassie had left, replacing it was years worth of anger and pain.

“Don’t play games with me.” It was the loudest she had yelled in years. “Don’t ever, ever! Think you're capable of that again.” She glared down at him before taking a deep breath and attempting to compose herself. “Maybe once, but now, now I know enough about how the world works as well as myself to know you want nothing more than a fucking toy to do what you please with before throwing it away like it was nothing more then a piece of shit. Just like you did all those years ago. What we could have had? Really? That’s the best you could come up with? Playing on the crush I had on you when I was fucking 8 and you groomed me to be your scapegoat. I refuse to bend to you again and theres nothing you can fucking do about it jackass.”

“You’ve got some fire now. It suits you. But I wasn’t giving you an option, I was trying to ease you into it. Clearly it didn’t work. You’re coming with us. Now!” Matthew stood up, brushing off the dirt from his hands.

“No. I’d rather die than go with you again.” He started laughing. The maniacal laughter that left his lips sent chills down Cassie’s spine. It was never a good sign when he started laughing like that. She kept her eyes on him. A gunshot sounded, the sound of all the birds flying away was the only sound.

Cassie’s chest hurt, she couldn’t breathe. Matthew caught her as she swayed on her feet gently lowering her to the ground as her blood stained her shirt and puddled below her.

“For someone who preaches about being careful what you wish for and how you word things, you sure are horrible at it.” Cassie snorted before wincing.

“Bold of you to assume I didn’t mean it.” She wheezed.

“Even on death's doorstep you’re still sassy. You’ve really changed, it’s too bad you made the wrong decision. It’s almost sad to think the only way I’ll ever see you again is in pictures. Goodbye Cassiopeia Vega.” He stood up and they left her there.

So I haven't decided if she actually dies yet but its really close so we'll see. Anyways, if you don't know who Matthew, Eveline, and Jacob are I made a post about them here but they're the "friends" that tried to pin murder on her. So yeah fun times. Anyways, I based this off a quote I found on pinterest.

So yeah. I think that's it. I just felt like writing something tragic today I guess. What's the point of having ocs if you can't potentially kill them when you feel like it.

#oc: cassiopeia vega #i decided to add more trauma #if she lives that is #i dont know I'll decide later #for now she remains unconscious and bleeding to death #even if i did decide to keep her alive. how? its not like she can move #anyways enjoy this maybe. i havent reread it because then i would've deleted it and i didnt want toi

2 notes · View notes

alphaketoglutaricacid · 4 years

Text

@onehithero said: also we know theres at least some actual animals besides gadoll liek the scorpion n cows tht show up for a sec in ep 1 so tankers hav tht going for them re: food sources ..SORRY FOR RAMBLING SO MUCH deca dence essay got sleeper agent activated

onehithero said: i rly like what usaid abt kabu from natsumes pov too but i cannot form a half cohernet thought abt tht one

onehithero said: ALSO ALSO i think its interesting how the ep 8 conversation w minato is i think the only time kabu talks abt being jealous of humans being able to choose their own paths

onehithero said: also how minatos convinced hes like a good lil cog in the machine yet hes done 50 things tht wuld get him labeled as a bug but he just ignores all tht. the both of them can be so disconnected w reality

onehithero said: like minato didnt know abt 1)natsume 2) how the system has made kabu so severely depressed n he culdnt put up w it anymore.n minato continues pushing the just go along w the system shit he doesnt understand tht he was contributing to kabus misery.. n bc of tht kabu doesnt trust minato enough to tell him abt natsume for so long but then he goes n asks smth so big of him as go against the system

onehithero said: thinks abt how kabu n minato r obviously so important to each other but minato understands him less n less over time & kabu kinda already knew its risky to confide in minato like minato did know abt pipe which was a long time ago but he didnt know abt natsume til kabu was already sacrifing himself for her sake. n yet kabu then goes n tries to get him on his side anyway cuz he wants tht so badly..

onehithero said: OMG OMG CHEWS THESE WORDS SLOWLY N THROUGHLY SO DELICIOUS THANK U THANK U u get it u understand i love reading n writing essay lengh responses abt deca dence & again u just hit the nail on the head w this

Please let me know if this @ u 8 times and sorry if it did. I will reply under this readmore but i love this enthusiasm! I like discussing this stuff so if u want keep it coming. I wanna understand deca dence better and i think i will by sharing ideas w other ppl.

I think kabu and minatos relationship is as good as it is because theres clearly a lot of mutual love and respect between them even when they don’t understand each other and thats why minato still runs after him when he hears kabu going suicide mission lets go baby. I think its interesting that minato was like ready to lie down and accept getting mass scrapped until he hears kabu go im about to be hilarious and hes like actually living and staying alive sounds great actually forget what i said about it being over. you are so right about kabu and trust and natsume. I will always cherish episode 5 where kabu gives this big rousing speech about how natsume inspired him and saved his life and minatos there like ..who? ..what?? I think they may not be used to hiding things from each other. Also I think them drifting apart mirrors natsume and feis drifting apart tho I think while feis the instigator on that side kabus more on his side and minato like natsume is like wondering what in da world is going on. I think someone else wrote about this better than I can.

I do think minato does know kabus severely depressed because theres this line in ep 4 where he puts his hand on kabu and says like you’ve toiled enough at that awful job. and also in episode 11 when he and kabu talk and kabu says he was in a similar place as minato now in that he was waiting every day to be scrapped minato has no reaction until kabu says but that bug saved me. I think he knows kabus very depressed but he does not know how to address it cuz the system never gives either of them the tools or options for it. Though also I feel the system discourages meaningful relationships between the cyborgs so I think what minato and kabu have is likely pretty rare. Kabu donetello and turkey also fought together for a long time but turkey turns on donetello in a second even tho they fought together, he was his number two, and they were in prison together, and were pretty much all they got and donetello kills him in turn. I also think minato probably knew because he’s empathetic. Like I’m not sure about compassion but he’s very good at understanding where other ppl are and how to meet them in the middle so both parties get something they want. That’s how he got all the gamers to collect the old deca dence parts. Not by cashing in on ppl doing the right thing but by framing it as the final mission. He gets his lgbt community center coworkers for fight with him one last time by appealing to their sense of duty. He got the system to put kabu in jail instead of getting scrapped when Mikey got scrapped for a lesser offense. The list goes on. A tangent but I think the fact he acknowledges the living conditions of the humans are gonna get worse if nothing’s done even tho he’s apathetic at best towards them shows even when the system tries to mold the cyborgs into the roles it wants, sometimes the traits they have just keep on going despite themselves. I’m gonna stop myself before I go into jill and this theme but I’m gonna talk about it someday. So I think its more likely than not he knew but he didn’t know how to navigate around it also because it’s heavily implied he’s going thru the same thing and I think kabu might genuinely have no idea Bc kabu lacks empathy but his heart... is huge. When he hears minato express his feelings of not knowing what he wants he instantly tries to reach out and explain minatos not alone in what he feels. This is why they’re good foils. while kabu moves past where he was in the start where he states he does not intend to oppose the system and his compliance while also trying to do the bare minimum drives him to suicide, and finds the willpower and a reason to live and rebel against the system through his connection to other people (first natsume , he hangs out w kurenai sometimes too, and then with the jail robots). Meanwhile minato whos stuck in his literal ivory tower (it’s a Metaphor) never makes any of these connections. It’s the irony of kabu working at a armor repair job giving him some ability to connect w others vs minatos higher position isolating him from everyone else. I think kabu living amongst the ppl he harmed drove him to give up on life quicker, while minato being far apart shielded him from rlly having to see the effects of his actions I think he was headed a lil slower in the same direction. I think we’re led to believe minatos okay where he is but I think towards the end it’s clear minato has spent most of the series also in a bad place. I think he views things very similarly to kabu in that he wants to use what power he does have to protect the ppl he cares about similar to how initially kabu tried to just convince natsume to quit several times and he was like whatever at the rest of the humans who are natsumes comrades dying but he chooses to put it all on the line and try for some systemic change when he sees natsumes determination to fight. Also I think minato holds very little loyalty to the system cuz he doesn’t only like breaks 1000 rules for kabu (the hypocrisy) but he also looks the other way a lot. For example, when he overheard the top rankers talk about limiters he’s like I’ll pretend I don’t hear it also turn on private mode next time and he doesn’t berate them for considering cheating. Also donetello has been using an illegal avatar to climb to S rank again (isn’t it interesting that even after the ranked system is abolished something similar took its place). And his avatar looks the same as it did when minato worked with the guy. There’s probably like not that many ppl in s rank. And he calls himself donetello. Minato knows he’s supposed to be in jail but does he tell anyone? He’s like well.. that looks like someone else’s problem if they notice *goes and vapes* it’s so funny how little minato cares but it’s also not funny Bc some of minatos cruelest actions and things he’s complicit in are born not outta malice but apathy to everything. I think it shows (tangent number 4?) how the systems use of excessive force is counter productive cuz neither minato nor kabu are willing to report anything to disrupt the order Bc neither of them think the level of punishment is warranted. I also think that minato is probably the first person kabu really opens up to about why on a personal level he feels the system needs to be destroyed after Ep 7 is really interesting. It really speaks to how deep their [mutual and not platonic relationship I don’t know how to label ] is. I also think that he admits to minato that he envies human is rlly interesting and would like to hear what u have to think! I think it’s interesting that what really sets minato off is kabu saying he wants to choose for himself and also wants other cyborgs to have that freedom and I think it’s one of the few times we see minato get genuinely angry and have it not stem from worry. Tangent 5 I’m really extrapolating here but I think it’s very likely given how high up minato is that he likely knows of several cyborgs that rebelled against the system for similar reasons as kabu and knows how it ends and I think it probably feeds into his defeatist attitude. I think his role in the system must really kill whatever grasp of whatever minato has cuz he constantly has to act like it’s almost the end of the world and he’s strapped for resources all the time for like decades and decades of having to fake that type of desperation to entertain ur player base and cuz ur also on tv to entertain the general populace to distract them from their soul sucking jobs. I think that’s gotta mess with his perception of himself and also his ability to see that struggle as real and genuine. I think that’s also gotta be hard cuz he seems like out of his whole fuck we r under attack persona he seems like he’s a lil closed off but generally chill and somewhat upbeat to ppl who know him and he just wants to be isabella from animal crossing. I got really off track here. I think what really gets me is their relationship is built on knowing each other so well and so long , and how it’s managed to survive and persist through all this tragedy. They really mutually respect and love each other and that’s why kabu let’s minato walk away from his revolution even tho it compromises everything he works for. It’s why minato ultimently accepts kabus willingness to die for a tanker even tho he really doesn’t get it at all and it means it’s goodbye forever. But it’s still not enough to save either of them. Minato can’t save kabu from trying to passively starving himself to death and I’m not sure if kabu even knows where minato is at mentally. Sometimes no matter how close u are to someone there r things u miss and things u can’t help each other with. Even tho the two resolve to fight and then die together cuz this seems like the best choice Bc the system they were born into offers no alternatives, the deca dence doesn’t even activate without the help of other ppl. I think it shows one relationship cant support all that weight. In the end it is through their bonds with other ppl that gets them to an ending where they both survive when they decided alone their only option is death. Also u are so right about the other animals existing I totally forgot ty I cannot believe I forgot about the scorpion which calls to natsumes hairstyle which is a visual gag on how natsumes a bug and how like a scorpion, although unassuming, and fucking kill u, just like how her trying to get her boss to open up eventually leads to the whole thing toppling down. I also have a lot of thoughts about natsume but I’m still thinking of them and thinking hard Bc sometimes she becomes kabus inspiration Pinterest board and I don’t like that. When she shines she really shines but it starts getting sloppy towards the end so I have to think a lil longer about it. Okay I’m done. Also it’s kinda hard for me to look like I’m agreeing to ur points and nodding in this format but I really appreciate ur thoughts and will try to convey this. Maybe by formatting as a response to each of ur replies next time

13 notes · View notes

asa-kai · 3 years

Text

Ref. to Chapter 177

Faint chirps of sparrows blending with the soft blow of air from the sea. All of that is crystal clear for Saionji Ukyo the former Sonar man from the Kingdom of Science.

It was almost like yesterday, when they were still sailing on the big blue beneath the widespread sky along with seagulls and now they are making their way to their next destination-South America.

After a long day of riding their motorbikes the crew made a stop to eat and rest. Thanks to Senku's customized motorbikes they can quickly outrun Stanley and his team.

Although they made it that far, the fact they're being pursued can't settle in Ukyo's mind.

Looking around finding a high place to spend the night he found a huge boulder high enough for anyone to bother climbing but just the right one for him to reach the top.

This little climbing is nothing compared to his past special forces training, he proudly recall. It would be nice though if he can find a tree on the dessert just like that back on the days when he's still working for the Tsukasa's Empire. Where he will watch Tsukasa break human statues in front of him....

Shaking off the bad memories, he perched on the top absorbing the nostalgia of the night.

"Finally a relaxing silence" he thought to himself.

Or he thought so......

The minimal noises from the campfire can't escape his sensitive ears. The laughter and the conversations are still loud enough for him to be heard.

"It can't be helped, if only I can shut them like my eyes." Ukyo pouted gazing above the night sky again.

He kept wondering if they could defeat Stanley or reach their destination safely or if they could even survive anything that could happen tonight.

He was so disturbed of the thought of what he's going to do if Senku can't fufill his promise that nobody dies. Calming his nerves and clearing his thoughts he starts to close his tired eyes.

Just then he heard footsteps below coming toward the boulder his perching on and base on the weight,speed and pattern of the footsteps it matches someone from the battle team.

"Kohaku?" Ukyo mumbled without realizing saying it out loud.

The huntress' vigilant eyes suddenly looked up to the perching archer.

"What are you doing up there?"

Before the young man can say a word he was surprised to see Kohaku sitting next to him enough for sending him to jolt.

She's really fast. The boulder must be really just a pebble to her

Despite the archer's obvious reaction the huntress seems to be deep into thoughts. She tilt her head up to sky and smile wistfully. Forgetting what just happened the man beside decided to join his new company's little stargazing.

The breeze is faint yet cool, chilling their skin but making one smile lightly.

Kohaku turned her head into the campfire's direction and stared back to the sky. Noticing that she's been doing it five times from now,Ukyo getting concerned finally asked the restless lady.

"Um...You've been looking back five times already...what seems to be the matter?"

" Oh sorry....did I bothered you?"Kohaku replied flustered.

" No not at all but I just get a little concrened." He sheepishly smiled.

The crescent moon dimly radiates light on landscape around them. Its almost vague but Ukyo can absolutely tell that Kohaku just smiled again. A meaningful yet gloom smile at that, as she turn around again back to the usual place under her observation.

"So...are you looking at Senku?" Ukyo forcedly scoffed.

Kohaku darted her eyes at the resident archer with a fearful look. However the pink blush on her face gave away the answer.

"Ukyo don't tell me...."

Her voice alone is already eerie when shes talking like that, no wonder they call her beastly names. But right now Ukyo fears that she'll blow, he can't break his good impression he left on Kohaku.

No one would want to ruin her trust

....."you can hear other people's thoughts?!"

Ukyo let out a loud laugh that Kohaku have never heard coming from him. Since he is usually silent the huntress was left jaw dropped.

"Sorry, I just thought it was absurd but its obvious that your looking at our crafty scientist."

Looking at Kohaku's blank face he continued.

"Observance is everything Kohaku you know that right? First of all Hyoga and Tsukasa is present on the campfire so you will have no reason to be worry of a sudden attack. Second you just finished putting Suika to sleep so you came up here to unwind, clearly enough to conclude that your confident that the crew is safe"

" But Ukyo how did you know I was looking at Senku?" Kohaku questioned poking her chin.

Ukyo took off his hat and start tossing it and then he answered.

" Well you know....I spend my free time observing both nature and people and through all that there's not a time I will not hear a talk about you two especially from Ginro..."

" Ginro....that scum..."

" Its not his fault though since his trying his best to lower his voice, I just happen to still hear it anyway." He concluded wearing his makeshift hat again.

"Oh having such great ears an advantage yes?" Kohaku sarcastically grinned.

" Its not that great" Ukyo defended, besides you two usually hang out together-just the two of you." Realizing he had said to much Ukyo turn to Kohaku to see her reaction.

" Oh so your a stalker now huh?" Kohaku even grinned wider and there is literally like a black smoke surrounding her right now.

Ukyo gulped down with two beads of sweat on his face, but what he expects on what the huntress is going to do is turned down though.

Kohaku hug her knees and hide her face.

"Who am I to be offended by you...Im the same too. I will sometimes shortly glance at Senku when he's not aware and I don't know why. I constantly worry about him as an ally and friend but I think its getting out of hand and becoming a habit."

Although Kohaku is not showing a bit of faze on her tone but he can tell that she's worried and troubled for some reason.

"At least you can just close your eyes and never look again." Ukyo pointed out.

" That's the problem I can't turn away my eyes on him nor I can shut them. Not when there's another girl beside him" Kohaku's voice cracked at the last words she said.

Ukyo just came to a realization how wonderous yet coincedental life can be sometime

Moments ago he's worrying about the well-being of his friends who are safe sound but his companion is worrying about her problem on worrying too much about Senku than the given normal.

Him worrying about the things that are still not happening.

Her worrying about a small thing but tormenting her right now

However he can relate on Kohaku's envy on her advantageous sense of sight.

"Our so called gifts can be such a nuisance huh? But maybe you can still use their trouble you know?"

Kohaku is now a friend and an ally to him and he will gladly help her if she need it.

It is the first time he'll personally offer help to the mighty huntress. Given Kohaku's physique its almost though she will need no help but ironically right now she's carrying which sometging which is to say in the old world a common problem but even she the mighty Kohaku can't handle it on her own. Theres no human who haven't experienced jealousy not even once.

Kohaku hanging on what he just said paid her attention closely to the archer as if like desperate child looking for answers.

Ukyo can't even conclude if she's solely worrying about Senku's well-being or if its something more than that and it looks like Kohaku is doubting herself as well.

Ukyo took a deep breath hoping what he's going to say will help.

"Like I said Kohaku, observation is everything."

The huntress gets even more attentive at this point. Confirming the words in his head Ukyo continues.

"The truth is I'm also envious of my sensitive hearing, sometimes I will hear things Im not suppose to hear but you know what really helps? Ukyo paused giving a warm smile.

Yes what Kohaku needs right now is emphathy even though his knowledge in psychology is inferior that of Gen but it is one of the common and genuine way to help out anyone.

..."I just let it."

Kohaku slightly flinch and her eyes widened.

"Forcing yourself to hold it in even when your about to throw up just makes matters worse right? I should know, my first day at the submarine makes me really sick that I want to pull my gut out."

Yes your'e not alone

...

" Uh sorry about the gruesome illustration."

"No its only normal." Kohaku brushed off.

That's Senku's lioness for you

"I knew Im not the only one... But what I fear if I get attach to him and letting go will be more difficult." Kohaku lamented.

The issue is now clear. She's just blaming it all to her eyes but the real deal is her feelings.

She's growing alright and it is unavoidable for anyone to feel that way.

Like Ukyo can see Senku and Kohaku had been literally went through blades and stones and their mutual trust makes them good friends but somehow its likly that one might start to look at the other differently.

The pair were silent for a while. Letting the evening aura take over making light sounds of air passing through stones.

Ukyo rest his head against his arms for a second trying to get answers for Kohaku's problem.

Though.....

Is he even fit for solving her problem,maybe it would be better if Gen will tell her....no does he even need to solve it?

"Sorry if I bother you Ukyo, I get too emotional sometimes." Kohaku stand up and started to brush off the dirt from her navy blue dress and just as she's about to wave goodnight, she sensed a sudden spark beside her. Right there, Ukyo made a little fire from using his bows and with a dozen of small sticks he gathered.

"The answer depends on your resolve Kohaku...you can either choose to look at him forever or shut your eyes, whatever works best for you all I can do is give you my advice. I don't have the authority to tell you what to do...... But right now why don't you let your senses take you somewhere else. It's getting cold you know." Ukyo hummed while putting more ignition on the fire.

Kohaku was drawn to the relaxing warmth of the newly made campfire a little smaller than that with the rest of the crew. Without knowing it she's starting to forget on what she's chafing about, a moment ago.

Unexpectedly an east wind blew caugthing the duo off-guard letting Kohaku's hair went loose and almost taking Ukyo's hat away. Without warning a stronger wind came and blew their makeshift campfire away, getting dark again so suddenly made Kohaku laugh akin to Ukyo who's groaning over the blown campfire.

"Well, some things don't always look and stay as they seem, one minute ago we have the fire I thought will hold yet now its already gone."Ukyo chuckled though attempting to make the fire again.

"That makes sense....everything change eventually, up to the point where a problem is no more." Kohaku softly stated coming up to her realization.

Ukyo smiled he was relieved that Kohaku finally get what he means.

"Well Im glad the lesson Im implying reached you."The archer exclaimed.

" Life goes on Kohaku"

Kohaku nod and smile in agreement.

"Yeah...I also learned you should never build a small fire on a high windy place". She jokingly concluded.

"Come on I know that....."Ukyo sheepishly laughed.

The night even grew darker but the stars and the moon appears to grew even brighter. The pair enjoyed the diamond ornamented void as the evening hyms envelops around them.

"Listen Kohaku" Ukyo whispered.

"This might be just one of my ideals but I always believe that life has many angles that each one can see and discover that's why I don't like anyone to die because they won't be able to enjoy it if they're dead... So Im convincing you to look at the other angles too Kohaku."

The huntress eyes were opened a hint of sparkles will be found in her eyes and a warm smile on her face being moved of what just her trustworthy comrade said. Although it's still not clear in her mind what he is saying. But whatever it is she will someday understand just like what he said life goes on.

" I'll gladly take the advice,I will surely enjoy, look forward to it."

-end

Obviously this is my first fanfic... Just to be frank I got tired reading the romance genre so I made something platonic and between- friends -kind -of- a -thing fanfic between low-key duo in dr. Stone. (Yes you just read it)

Speaking of low-key I'm also making fanfic for other underrated dcst (so called canon couples)

#dr. stone #ukyo saionji #kohaku #manga spoilers #fanfiction

6 notes · View notes

mousehole5000 · 4 years

Text

reading tgcf chapters 72 - 88 end of book 2. body horror kind of in this one. if you know you know and i did include an excerpt of it

i didnt take any notes from 72-76 but uhhhh shit has hit the fan

fuuuuuuck. but he couldnt get there fast enough and then THAT happened to that family FUCK :(

xie lian has indeed been greatly sheltered and this is a painful if inevitable moment. very curious about where he goes from here :(

:pensive: the universe has its own rhythm. perhaps it does but im wondering if this is part of it orrrrrrr

wait theres a girl. shes pretty. feng xin is impressed by her this is a first. is she going to be important? is it too much to ask for? to see a girl do things?

xie lian and the king... i sad. but the anger is real from both sides regardless of their arguments. i sad

ahhh flashbacks to religious studies. read a whole essay about contagion magic vs similarity magic. pretty sure it was by one of those early anthropologists who were ummm racist but this is definitely a thing that people do

damn so xie lian’s first experience of killing anyone was during the revolt and he killed thousands. wow. “mere ants” like those crushed for him by servants. hoooo boy

:pleading: hes so good and im so sad for him to painfully learn that just being good isn’t enough

awwwww. </3

ohhh wait i think the epub version doesnt spoiler out the authors notes awwww i was enjoying the mystery but okay. not sure if i would have guessed this without tbh theres a lot of kids (2) running around with bandages in this book. but i guess the saber thing isnt likely to be anything else. also ohhhhhhhhh hong hong-er... little reddie... ah i see now :(

land of the tender; body of gold hard pressed against desire. hmmmm. im. hmmm. remember that scene with the prostitute in ghost city and how i was glad it ended quickly? i miss those days. i mean murderous desires/lustful desires okay sure thats something fine but. hmm not so sure how i feel about the rest of this. and the hair thing has significance according to the notes. i mean. hmm. moving on for now. ive seen spoilers for more about hualian’s relationship but im gonna wait to comment on it until i know everything

i would actually be curious to see feng xin and mu qing interact without xie lian when theyre still having to work together i wonder if they are more chill or less chill bc clearly feng xin cares a lot about xie lian and im wondering what theyre like with each other without him around. to be fair tho since theyre his generals im not sure if theres much room for that

human face disease time. oh boy. things really are only getting worse. im also suspecting that this disease was intentionally brought into the city to hasten its downfall but we shall see

saving this for the illustration of the differences between feng xin and mu qing. not sure what it says about me but im finding mu qing relatable that is 100% what i would do but i feel much more fond of feng xin. interesting

thank you for being a beacon of amusement in these trying times. distract your bickering friends by forcing them to play improv games. also the differences between fx and mq continue to interest me

awfully convenient there guoshi. i have to say that its looking more and more like the bad shit thats happening in xianle was actually not to do with xie lian. the fact that the yong’an rebels were being supplied? whatever the fuck is going on with lang ying.... i could be wrong but thats what im thinking im wondering how much of this was already laid out or at the very least poised to happen before xie lian intervened

here it comes this is the unsettling body horror bit

BRUHHHHHHHH. HORRIFIC. IM SORRY BUT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE IT IN ADAPTATION FOR THE CHILLS IT WOULD GIVE ME.

hmmm after this its mu qing who is like “hey ummm you kinda just chopped that guy’s leg off when he hadn’t actually asked you to. kinda fucked up also could definitely turn on you” makes sense that it was mu qing who said that he’s clearly very smart and bc of his background he’s more likely to think of things from a different perspective than xie lian and feng xin. he’s been scornful of commoners before but he definitely understands them more so than the other two

just when i thought this couldnt get more horrific. no rest for anyone what an awful fate

saving this as a note on mu qing as a character and his attitude towards xie lian. what xie lian says here about the curse is interesting. the faces/souls vs the ones they are infecting. its awful for both of them and neither are the only truly at fault theyre being pit against each other

its telling that mu qing is the one who is telling xie lian that line about there not being a second cup of water. also BIG ARGUMENT im bookmarking this to come back to in the present day

looks like celestial palace is coming down and im bitterly remembering the fact that xie lian toppled his own statue earlier to let lang ying get away... who then presumably planted the curse.... sighs

the bits with xie lian’s parents made me tear up. this is, what the kids call, relatable.

hmmm dont think feng xin is always going to feel this way lmao

oohh that is a cool image

i.... sad. and so book 2 ends!!! im wondering when we find out exactly how the split between our trio went down. im sure its sad

politically im still not sure exactly what the message is trying to be i mean obviously theres corruption that completely throws the poor under the bus but so far its also been clear that xie lian actually cant do anything about it. but!!! also xie lian doesnt understand a lot about the world, he’s been sheltered and he’s a prince and he wants to save the world and i love him for that but he hasn’t seen what the reality of life is for a lot of people he’s looking at everything from the position of the nobility and even with all his kindness i dont think thats ever enough to bring about meaningful change. how can it? idk but we still got a LONG ways to go

#all my mutuals: tgcf is a tragedy #me reading book 1: is it??#me reading book 2: oh it really is #:(#tgcf liveblog #mouse mumbles

4 notes · View notes

jaeminlore · 5 years

Text

Worlds Apart | Ten

summary: we don't have a choice, the curtains have closed. i’m making a point, but you'll never know.

words: 7.8k+

category: fluff, angst, twd au

warnings: death, guns, knives, blood, violence?, the works, not that detailed so it’s p chill

a/n: i am, and i cannot stress this enough, so sorry

The barn is nearly empty. It used to be full of cows. Same with the chicken coop out front. Ten can see the farmhouse through his binoculars — knows that people live there. Humans too, not whatever undead creatures have been popping up everywhere. He wonders briefly if the farmers are even trying to ration their food. After all, their chickens are disappearing at an alarming rate. And, really, he can't see how two old people can eat so much. Sometimes he thinks of sneaking over to the house while the old farmers are on one of their weekly runs. But then again, he steals a lot of apples from their orchard already, and he's pretty sure they know. And he wouldn't even know how to prepare a chicken, so there.

He really hates the taste of apples.

There's an entire basket of the fruit hiding under his bed. He would almost rather starve then force himself to eat another apple. He glances out the window of his R.V. and sighs again. Where are those old farmers anyway? By this time, they're usually home, patching up that chain link fence they installed behind their already-sturdy picket fence. Ten knows its good to be prepared but sheesh, he's been hunkered down in this R.V. for months and he hasn't had a problem.

Seriously though, the convenience store is only three miles away. They almost always leave at dawn. Ten knows their pattern like the back of his hand. They are always home before sundown. That's when it's safest. There has to be a reason they aren't back yet. Something happened. Something bad.

Ten groans and sets his binoculars down. The old red cap that hangs above his sink is snatched up and set over his already-matted hair. He slips on a coat and grabs the only weapon he has: a pocket knife.

He sets for the farmhouse, just as the sun begins to go down.

"Hello?" He knocks three times on the screen door. Cupping his hand around his eyes he peers in, trying to figure out why they kept the front door open and the screen door locked. Not the best call, in his opinion. "My name is Ten! I live in the woods, just outside of your back paddock! I wanted to make sure you guys are safe! Hello!"

He knocks again. Nothing.

There's no activity inside. It's a big house, he knows, but it's also old, and any movement from inside would certainly let off a string of creaks and groans from the old foundation. Plus, these people aren't afraid of anything. He knows that. They're careful sure, but they aren't stupid. They know who Ten is, and they wouldn't leave him out here like this.

Ten makes a split decision and breaks the lock.

"Hello?" He calls again. Sweat forms at the back of his neck as he begins to look through all the rooms. The house is eerily normal. Every bedroom is clean, every bed is made. He reaches the kitchen and finds it strange that the table is set. His eyes drift over to the open dishwasher. The dishes inside are clean, which can only mean one thing.

Ten grabs the faucet handle and turns. When water pours out, he finds himself cheering aloud. This house must have a private well or something, if the farmers are still using a dishwasher.

"Hello?" He calls upstairs. They creak as he climbs up, and paranoia fills his chest as he realizes that no one is home.

No one is coming home.

"Welp, the gas station was completely empty." You drop the empty gasoline can at Taeyong's feet. "This is the third one this week."

Taeyong ignores your whining, but you can't help but let your frustrations out. The three of you — Mark is out — have been traveling for days, hoping to make it to the shore, and yet you keep running out of gas. And yeah, you're thankful that you guys broke down near a baseball field, so you aren't completely vulnerable, but you feel so trapped.

This entire situation is just one big disaster after the next. You need a break. Taeyong needs a break. The poor boy has been trying to start a fire all day. You sit beside him and sigh. "Where's Mark?"

"Scavenging," Taeyong grunts, angrily lighting another match. "There's s rec center near here. There's no way it didn't turn into a safe place. There should be blankets, food—"

"—Walkers," you finish. "There's a higher risk at places like that."

"I know, but he insisted. ' Feels like he isn't doing enough or whatever."

"He's doing plenty," you say. You scratch the dried clay off of your boot and try to blink away the tears. "What if he doesn't come back? What if he's like Yu—"

"Don't," Taeyong whispers. "It's just us now. The others are gone. We can't dwell on the past."

There's a long silence for a moment until... "Guys! You'll never guess what I found!"

"Was it a way to call every walker within the mile to our hideout?" You quip, quickly unlatching the gate to let a flustered Mark in.

He has a duffle bag on his back, and it's filled with stuff, so you let him talk. "Theres a farmhouse, a few miles away. There was a whole list of historical landmarks at the rec center. Apparently, the farmhouse was the first house built in this town. Maybe the people who own it will let us stay."

"Or maybe they'll be gone and we won't have to ask," you mutter, unzipping his bag and extracting a stained blanket. "We should go. First thing in the morning. You remember the directions?"

"Yeah." Mark begins to help Taeyong with the fire, a small expression of pride on his face.

You hope the farmhouse isn't a dead end. For Mark's sake.

Ten doesn't get any sleep. He stays up all night, waiting for the couple to return. Hoping, more like. Once dawn hits the farm, he begins to move his stuff from the R.V. to the house.

Now it's nearly nighttime again, and while he wants to sleep, he can't help but feel unnerved at the thought of being alone in such a big house. He's barricaded all of his things into one room on the second floor. He bides his time by checking the pantry's inventory. There's tons of food here: fruit preserves and frozen meat that Ten realizes the farmer's had prepared early, just in case.

He's hungry, but he can't bear to eat any of their food, so he grabs an apple and sits in the living room, waiting for a couple who won't return.

Except they do. And it's not a couple, it's three people he's never seen before. He notices them when the reach the chain link fence and begin to climb, so he knows they aren't undead. Sometimes that can be worse, though.

He scrambles to his feet and makes way for the front parlor, where he saw a gun cabinet coming in. He grabs the first one he sees — a pistol — and heads outside, a shaky bravado in his voice. "State your names and your business!"

There are three of them. The tallest one raises both his arms, and the others follow in suit. "I'm Taeyong. This is Y/n and Mark. We're looking for solace."

"Obviously," Ten mutters under his breath. Then he raises his voice. "How can I trust any of you?"

"We don't have guns," Y/n speaks up. She passes Ten a wary glance. "Just blankets and food. We were on our way to the shore when our vehicle broke down. The gas stations are empty and we have nowhere to go."

Ten eyes the three of them and notices that they all look a little malnourished. Dark circles are noticeable under their eyes and someone's stomach is definitely

growling. "The couple who live here haven't returned. I'm waiting it out. You're welcome to wait it out with me. But—" he eyes the bag, "—you have to give me some food. All I have — that's mine — are apples."

"I've got strawberry wafers from the convenience store we looted on our way here. Two old walkers were guarding a whole stash of snacks," Taeyong says, hands still in the air.

Ten lowers his gun, gaze softening under the brim of his hat. He recalls seeing a lot of wafers in the pantry. Maybe that snack was a favorite. "I think you met the owners,"he says. He turns his back on them and makes his way up the steps. "Come inside. We can all wash up and eat something."

Mark is the first to follow him in, and Ten figures he must be the youngest, all eager and lively. Taeyong is next, and Y/n stays in the front yard, surveying the ground.

"What is she doing?" Ten questions, setting the gun back in the cabinet. "The entire yard is fenced in. And there are paddocks surrounding it. We're safe, really."

"Y/n is just making sure," Taeyong says. "Last time we didn't secure the borders, we lost people. I think it's compulsory now."

Ten feels a pang in his chest. He's been on his own for so long that he can't remember the last time he lost someone who actually meant something to him. "How long ago?"

"A month." Taeyong whispers as he eyes the front room. "It's only been a month."

The four grab whatever food they think will comfort them the most and eat in the room Ten filled with his stuff. It's obvious that no one really wants to be out of each other's sight. Ten is blatantly outnumbered, but he doesn't feel threatened. Not when Mark begins telling him a funny story, as if they're old friends.

You wake up feeling grosser than you did when you fell asleep. You're not tired anymore, so that's good, but your clothes are caked in a layer of sweat and dirt. You make for the bathroom and locks yourself in, hoping to get at least one shower out of this experience before disaster strikes.

Somehow you fell asleep around the stranger. Your only assurance was that he left the gun in the cabinet and didn't make any threatening moves at all. And Mark seems to trust him. Mark has the seventh sense of a dog, and can always tell when someone is untrustworthy, so you find no real fault in becoming vulnerable for an hour or so.

You find all kinds of hygiene products and refresh yourself liberally. You wash, rinse, and repeat enough times to make conservationists mad, but Ten mentioned a well system, so the water isn't going to run out any time soon. Besides, you don't plan on taking a shower every day, so this is a luxury you think you deserve.

Once every nook and cranny is free of blood, dirt, and sweat, and replaced with the warm scent of vanilla body wash and dandruff-free shampoo, you step out of the shower and wrap yourself in a cotton robe hanging on the back of the door.

You wrap it around yourself and tie two knots before you feel secure enough to approach the small, yet rambunctious group in the kitchen.

Taeyong has found eggs and a pan, and that's obviously enough for him to revive his love for cooking. Three omelets are already stacked onto Mark's plate, while Ten in tucking into what looks like his last one. "Have you eaten yet, Taeyong?"

"No," he answers. There's a warm grin on his face like he couldn't be more content if he tried. "There were like, two dozen eggs in the fridge, and Ten collected a dozen more from the coop."

"That's wonderful." You ruffle Mark's hair and laugh as he shoves your hand away, whining about being treated like a baby.

Ten looks up from his food and chuckles. "There are clean clothes upstairs if you, uh, don't want to walk around in a robe all day."

You stick your tongue out at him, finding it easier to banter now that you don't feel so gross. "If you want a turn with the robe, just ask."

Ten rolls his eyes and returns to his omelet. "Smart-ass."

"That's me!" You holler, already halfway up the stairs. The farmhouse is huge, so there are certainly enough rooms for each of you. You find the one with the least amount of windows and decide to claim it as your own. After a small search, you find underwear, shorts, and a t-shirt to cover you.

You bound downstairs to see that Taeyong is now sitting at the table, a couple of omelets ready for the both of you. "So, what's on the agenda today?"

Ten leans chin on his palm. "Everyone takes a shower, I guess. To be honest, we can fill the upstairs bathtub with water and use it to wash clothes. We can use it a few times before the water gets too dirty, and it'll save more water than the washing machine."

"And no more using the dishwasher," Taeyong notes. "We can wash them by hand, too."

"I can take inventory," Mark says, swallowing a mouthful of eggs. "See what we need to go on runs for."

"I'll help," you take a sip of your water. "We could go out before sunset and load up."

"I know the land," Ten says. "I should go, too."

Taeyong purses his lips. "So Ten and Y/n go on a run. Mark and I will wash clothes and make sure the animals are fed."

You clean the dishes while Mark makes a list of supplies. Most of it is paper products: toilet paper, paper towels, and pads. A few things are added on, like socks, soap, and sponges. Chicken feed if you can find it.

With the list tucked into your back pocket and a machete clipped to your belt, you follow Ten's lead into town. Ten has a gun holster in his belt, but you're pretty sure he has no idea how to use it. His posture is nervous: shoulders tense and steps quick. "So... come here often?"

Ten snorts. "Not really. I used to steal food from the orchard — we should go picking soon, by the way, before the fruit gets rotten — and I'd go a few miles north for paper products."

You pause. "So, why aren't we going north?"

"I cleaned that place out. There's a general store just a mile up that I want to try. No one ever really went there, so it's possible not many people thought about it during all the panicking."

"Alright," you try to match his steps. "But what if there isn't any there?"

Ten shrugs. "There are a few burger joints around. Supply closets have to have something."

You're about to reply when a growl cuts you off. Ten spreads out his arms and pushes you back. "It's coming from the woods."

"And I have the melee weapon," you say, grabbing his forearm and moving it out of your way. "Watch my back."

The walker joins you both on the road, and you grimace at the way its jaw seems unhinged from its skull. "Disgusting," you mutter, bounding forward and stabbing its head in one quick sweep. "I hate doing that."

Ten holds his hand out and eyes the machete. "I can do it, if you don't want to."

You glare at Ten. "I don't need you to do things for me."

Your outburst quiets Ten. The entire trip to the general store is spent in silence, save for when you kill two more walkers, and Ten kills three with his pocket knife. There's now blood on your crisp white t-shirt. Ten has a few splatters on his jacket, but he wipes his knife on his clothed thigh and keeps walking.

The road is quiet and long. It's so poorly paved that you can't help but wonder just how small this town actually used to be. Without actual people around, it's hard to tell where the town starts and ends. The other fact is that the place seems to be free of walkers. Or at least herds. The random straggler is welcomed, compared to how many herds you've had to fight to get here.

You wonder if it'll last.

"We're here," Ten stops in his tracks and points to an old wooden cabin hidden by the overgrown branches of the roadside forest.

You follow him in. It's more of a gift shop than anything. Maybe a welcome center — the type of place people stop in to pick up a map and nothing else. It's filled with little knickknacks and frivolous clothing items like thin fashion scarves and gloves. The entire place seems heavy with the farm theme, and there are a lot of souvenirs that suggest a historical museum somewhere near here. "I wonder why people didn't come back here," you say.

Ten grabs a hanging keychain with Mark's name on it and pockets it. "No one liked this town before. It's the kind of place everyone dreams of leaving. Lots of old people retire here, but obviously they didn't make it that long."

The two of you pocket whatever seems useful. Luckily, the place has a lot of locally curated goat soap and other hygiene products of that nature. This is a farming town, you think as you find a spare jar of harvested honey.

There are paper products in the supply closet, so the two of you load up as much as you can. "We should check the bathroom, too," you say. "Sometimes they have cabinets of stuff."

Ten finishes filling his bag while you head to the bathroom. It's a one-person bathroom with the door closed, and you aren't stupid, so you grab your machete. You wiggle the knob. Locked. Someone is — or was — in there. You bang your machete hilt against the door and hastily press your ear to the splintered wood, hoping to hear some kind of growling. Something that'll tell you what you're up against.

Instead, you hear what sounds like a whimper.

"Ten," you hiss. "Ten, c'mere."

He hurries over, leaving his bag on the ground and extracting his knife. "What's wrong? What's in there?"

"Ten, I think it's a kid," you hiss. "Like, a human kid."

Ten purses his lips and raps his knuckles against the door. "Is anyone in there? We can help. You have to open the door."

They start crying. It's definitely a child.

You glare at Ten. "You scared them!" You turn to the door and press your palm flat against it. "We aren't here to hurt you. There are two of us. My name is Y/n. My friend's name is Ten. We came to find some supplies and return to our house. We have a house, if you'd like to come..." You trail off as the crying continues. There's really no way to go about this situation. You'd like to open the door and talk to them face to face, but you can't. And breaking down the door doesn't sound like a good way to gain a child's trust. You look to Ten for help.

Ten sits down and leans his head back against the door. "My name is Ten," he starts. "I have a farmhouse down the road a bit. It has cows and chickens, and I think there's a cat that hangs around in the barn sometimes. Do you like cats?"

Silence hangs in the air. Then: "... I like orange ones."

Ten grins at you, a break of relief on his face at the sound of a little girl's voice. "Me too! They're my favorites. What's your name?"

"...Scarlett."

"That's a pretty name," Ten compliments. He eyes a walker as it strides past the windows, and you think about getting back before dark. "Scarlett, would you like to visit the farmhouse? We can find the cat, and my friend Taeyong makes the best omelettes ever."

Scarlett's voice suddenly appears closer to the door, as if she's trying to look through the keyhole. "Does he make cakes?"

"I bet if you come with us, the two of you can bake a cake together!"

The lock clicks. You and Ten scramble away from the door just in time for a little girl to step out.

It's clear that she's been trapped in there for awhile. The bathroom smells like waste, and it's littered with empty cans and wrappers. Scarlett herself is severely malnourished. Her purple overalls hang off of her body. Her short brown hair is matted, and there's dirt and grime on the lens of her turtle shell glasses. She can't be older than seven years old, and her state makes her seem even younger.

Ten is on his knees in an instant, eye-level to the child in an effort to seem comforting. "Are you alright, Scarlett?"

She nods, blinking at the two of you. "I'm hungry."

"Right," Ten grabs his bag and slings it over his shoulder before offering his hand to Scarlett. "Then let's hurry. I bet you and Taeyong can bake that cake tonight."

The entire house smells like vanilla. The generator-operated oven was put into overdrive as soon as Taeyong met Scarlett. Together they baked a cake, and while it cooked, Scarlett took a bath and was given clean clothes. You had to hem a pair of underwear to get it to fit, but you found that a grown man's t-shirt worked just fine for a nightgown.

Taeyong found an old copy of The Princess Bride to read to her, and you can still hear Scarlett and Mark's laughter as they listen to Taeyong's exaggerated princess voice.

You sit at the kitchen table, alone with a slice of cake and a mug of lukewarm water. The cake tastes like too much vanilla and even more love. You wonder where Scarlett's parents are, and if they would ever return to that bathroom for their daughter. You wonder if they were the ones who told her to hide in the first place. The day flashes through your mind and you feel regret pool in your stomach. It's uncomfortable as it settles, and you're unsure how to process everything.

Footsteps sound from upstairs, and Ten comes down. He sits across from you and steals your plate.

You let him.

He takes a bite of the treat and stares at you for a moment, perhaps studying your expression and the way you won't look up from your water. "What's wrong."

You shrug, but it's unconvincing even to you. "I just... Why didn't Scarlett answer me? I didn't sound scary, did I?"

Ten cards his fingers through his dark hair and gives you a smile. It looks full of pity. "I don't think it was personal. I think she just liked talking about the cat."

"How do you think she got in there?"

"Could be anything. If I had a guess, I'd say her parents told her to stay there until they came back. And then they didn't."

You frown. "How are we gonna raise a kid?"

"I dunno," Ten shrugs. "Two days ago, I was living alone in an R.V. Anything can happen."

"I guess that's true. And I think Taeyong is happy," you mutter. "Maybe Scarlett can be happy here, too."

As if on cue, a happy giggle is heard from the living room, followed by Taeyong's loud laugh.

Ten grins at you, and his eyes seem to sparkle in the candlelight. "I think she will be."

As it turns out, you and Ten make a really great team when it comes to scavenging. Ten is quick and good at sneaking around, and you have a knack for finding uselful things that seem to hide it plain sight. There are no problems with the two of you, other than the occasional argument.

You load a pistol and stick it in your belt. "Okay, so medicine."

Scarlett comes down with a fever, and Taeyong is nervous about letting it run through without any medication. Ten mentions a pharmacy a short drive away, and the two of you head out.

Ten's hair has grown out in the past weeks. You've reminded him that the farmhouse has clippers, but he seems to like the way his hair curls under his ears.

Secretly, you like it to. You study him as he focuses on driving. He's wearing his usual red cap, letting it come down over his eyes so that it looks almost as if he can't see. Lately, he's taken to tucking his t-shirts into his jeans, and you aren't sure why he does it, but it looks nice on him. It makes him look even more handsome.

As winter is approaching, you've taken to wearing whatever coats and sweaters you could find. Right now you're wearing an old university sweatshirt you found a few scavenging trips back. It's loose on you, but it's warm, and you feel somehow safer with your arms covered.

The pharmacy — with it's clear doors and windows — seems fairly empty, save for a stray or two. The streets: empty as well. It feels wrong, like there's some looming threat around that neither you nor Ten can see.

He parks on the curb, and, list in hand, the two of you climb out of the car.

You glance around and notice a large white church just across the street. "That's weird. Why is it in the middle of town?"

Ten looks up at the steeple. He shrugs. "It's a small town."

You check the release of your pistol for what feels like the hundredth time since you've been given the damn thing. You hate guns. You hate what they do to people, and you hate that you need one to survive. It doesn't help that you barely know how to use the thing. You're clumsy at best, and that's not good enough here. The amount of times Ten has covered your ass because you're not good with firearms is too many to count.

You holster it and grab your machete instead, more comfortable with hand-to-hand combat.

Ten follows your lead and takes out his knife. "Okay. Ready? Stay close to me."

It's something he says before every raid, and you find it more reassuring than anything. "Got it."

The two of you open the pharmacy door together and begin your walk, back to back through the store. Your first concern is clearing it, so when the first walker comes at you, growling and snapping it's jaw menacingly, you nail him between the eyes. Ten gets the only other one you can see, and then it's a dive through the empty aisles for some medication.

"This whole place looks empty," you mutter under your breath. Indeed, white metal shelves are bare, save for a few random items here and there. You watch Ten inspect a few and tuck them away, into his bag.

He picks up a bag of cough drops. "I mean, some of it is useful. Not against a fever, though."

You sigh and make your way towards the back of the store. "Shouldn't there be a place where all the storage is? Like shipment boxes and stuff?"

Ten follows your lead towards the door with an "employees only" sign.

"It's our best shot."

It's the same ritual: Ten covers your back and you cover his. The two of you luckily don't find any walkers, but it's not exactly a room of shipping containments. It's a storage closet, it seems. It's equipped with cleaning supplies, but nothing extraordinary.

"Wait," you say, reaching for a white tin box that hangs just above the light switch. "It's a first aid kit. Look! Aspirin — that's something, right?"

Ten yanks the entire kit off of the wall and shoves it into his back. "Better than nothing," he grunts.

"Let's take this back. We'll try somewhere else tomorrow."

He swings the storage room door open, only to yelp in surprise at the sight of walkers, all crowding the store. They catch sight of him and turn, all headed for the two of you.

Ten pulls the door closed and locks it just in time to hear the banging and growling of walkers. He curses. "We're trapped. What do we do, we're trapped..."

"Ten," you sputter, fear creeping into your chest. "Ten."

He looks at you, eyes wide, mirroring your own fear. He lunges forward suddenly and wraps his arms around you. "It's okay. It's okay. The longest we'll be trapped is a day, right? Taeyong and Mark will notice. They'll drive out."

"They don't have a car," you cry. Your arms circle his waist and you hide your face in his chest. Your body is shaking from fear, fully aware of how loud it it outside of the door. "Where did they come from? How did they sneak up on us?" Panic sneaks up your throat like pile and you squeeze Ten even tighter. "What if they bust the door down?"

Ten lets out a shaky breath. "They won't. They won't. It'll be okay, we just have to think." He lets go of you and paces around the small space.

You reach out for him and his eyes focus on your wrist.

He grabs your wrist. "Your watch. Does it work?"

"It does," you say, hesitantly. "I don't think it matters what time it is, Ten."

"We left the house at nine." He says. "That means it should be noon soon, right?"

"I guess? Ten, what are you saying?"

"The church," he says, "I completely forgot until I saw your watch, but it has a timer that rings out at noon. If we wait, we can make a brake for it."

"How long?" you ask. You whimper at a particularly scary bang heard outside.

Ten glances at your watch. "Any minute now..."

As if on cue, church bells begin to ring from far away. The growls begin to grow quieter, more distant. "Okay, on my cue we go. Stay close to me, and we'll make a break for the car."

"Got it," you whisper, holding your machete in front of your chest. "On your cue."

"Okay, three, two, one..."

The aspirin helps take the fever down, and Scarlett falls asleep in Taeyong's arms that night.

You have a bit more trouble falling asleep. You don't want to feel weak, but it's hard to forget how close you were to death just hours ago. You feel embarrassed at how frightened you got, and wonder if Ten thinks of you as a weak link.

It bothers you so much that you find yourself at the entry to his bedroom. "Hey, Ten?"

He's sitting at the foot of his bed in only pajama bottoms, reading some book he found. But at your voice, he dog-ears the page he's on and sets it aside before looking at you with a gentle smile. "What's up?"

"What happened earlier... At the pharmacy... You don't— You don't think I'm weak, do you?"

Ten furrows his brows before standing up. He shakes his head in disbelief as he walks over to you. "Y/n, I was terrified. You were terrified. That doesn't make us weak, okay? It makes us human, and since that's the only think separating us from the walkers, I think it's a pretty good trait, alright?" He brushes your hair back from your face in a brief moment of reassurance.

You lean into his touch. "Yeah. Alright."

Mark finds a board game in the attic, and he spends the entire afternoon trying to teach it to the rest of you. Scarlett is invested, ignorant to the present events. Taeyong is playing half-heartedly in an effort to keep Scarlett invested.

You're too busy staring out of the window to care about the game. "He's not back yet. He said he's be back." You couch into your hand and groan. Your head is pounding and your throat burns with every cough, but you're too worried about Ten to care. "Mark should've gone with him."

"He wanted to go alone," Mark says.

"He shouldn't get the choice," you snap. You cough into your elbow again and grimace. "We're a team. We can't be separated like this. He has no one to cover him."

Taeyong helps Scarlett move her game piece. While she's distracted, he stands up and makes his way to your perch on the window seat. "You know Ten's fine, right? He worked alone for a long time before we met him."

"I know," you say, "which is why he shouldn't ever have to do it again. Last time we went on a medicine run, we got trapped. It was a stroke of luck that alarm still worked. What if he's trapped now and he needs our help?"

"He's quick. Smart. He'll make it back. Now please go and rest. Your fever isn't going to reduce if you're on your feet, worrying yourself to death." Taeyong doesn't give you a choice, though, as he wraps his arms around you and helps you towards your bedroom. "You'll want to be awake when Ten comes back, right?"

"Right..." You climb into your bed and allow Taeyong to tuck you in (not that you would've had the strength to fight him, anyway.)

"I'll keep a look out," Taeyong reassures you. "If he isn't back in two hours, Mark and I will head out."

"Thank you," you mumble sleepily, already falling into a deep slumber.

When you awake, it's nighttime, and Ten is looking over you with an amused grin. "Miss me?"

"Never," you answer with a cough.

Ten hands you your medicine and you take it, watching the way he worries over your figure. "I'm sorry I left alone. I didn't mean to worry you."

You close your eyes when he rest his cool hand against your forehead. "Just don't leave again, M'kay? Not without me."

Ten smiles softly, and when he speaks, it's a gentle and sincere promise. "I won't."

Winter comes, and you find yourself wishing you were up north, where the walkers would be slowed down by the snow. In the south, winter is chilly at most, and it's nothing a coat can't fix. Walkers keep their same pace.

You, Ten, and Mark find any blind spots in the fences and patch them up. Luckily, the farmers who owned the house beforehand were prepared for this sort of issue, and stored a lot of supplies in the barn.

The barn is now empty. None of you knew how to prepare a cow for eating, you used it as bait to draw a particularly troublesome herd of walkers away from the farm. That wasn't easy either, but at least it was in your range of skill.

The chickens are still lively, and Scarlett does a good job of collecting eggs every morning for Taeyong to cook up. Ten and Mark secured a coop closer to the house, though. Just in case.

You and Ten keep up with your frequent runs, especially now for blankets and other supplies to keep warm in a house without heat. The wells are checked every day by Mark, while Taeyong takes care of the animals and Scarlett.

Any shops near the farmhouse have been cleaned out by the two of you well before winter, so you both decided to go a few towns over and check there. It's a small town with barely any stores, but it has a few rich neighborhoods that Ten wants to loot.

He parks on the curb of the cul-de-sac and laughs at your awed expression. "They're nice, right?"

"Who lived here? Millionaires?"

"Yeah, actually," Ten giggles. "Each of these houses are three stories high. We'll spend the day looting each one, and then we can spend the night in our favorite before heading back."

"Let's hit the one with the in-ground pool first." You push the door open and give Ten an over-the-shoulder smirk. "First one to the door wins."

Ten grabs his knife and bag and follows you across the street, struggling to keep his laughter quiet, lest the two of you draw any walkers in.

When night falls, the trunk of the car is filled with enough supplies to last the farmhouse for a long time. Neither you nor Ten can contain your excitement over the find, so Ten sneaks some wine and glasses into one of the master bedrooms.

You jump on the unscathed bed while Ten locks the door and pushes an armoire in front of it. "Can you believe we found a handheld console? Do you think Taeyong will let us keep it?"

Ten laughs and grabs your hands, pulling you into a sitting position. "Calm down, dummy. And yeah, I'm sure Taeyong will let us take some batteries. Although he might make us give it to Scarlett."

You pull a face. "Why should she have all the fun?"

"We could hide it," Ten whispers, leaning closer to you with a wicked smile painted on his face. "No one has to know."

Tens face is too close to yours. He does this all the time, mostly when he's excited about something. His natural response is to lean into you while he speaks, but right now it's too much.

You're both high off of adrenaline, his nose is brushing against yours, and if you lean in just an inch or two you could kiss his lips. Just one kiss would hurt, right? At least, that's all that can run through your mind at times like these. Then again, it's sort of the end of the world, and maybe you're just lonely.

Or maybe you like Ten a lot, and this is the time to let him know.

You press your lips against his for a split second and move away, afraid of his rejection. Afraid he'll think you're weird.

"Y/n," Ten whispers. His lips are close to yours, and his eyelashes are fluttering against his cheekbones as he struggles to keep his eyes open. "Please don't stop."

He holds your chin between his thumb and pointer, and lifts your face. His lips meet yours once again and they're soft, softer than you think they should be.

You think he shouldn't be this skilled at kissing. Not when the two of you aren't even drunk yet. He nips at your bottom lip; you sigh and grab onto his hair, twirling the ends with your fingers.

Ten gently pushes you until you're on your back, and the plush mattress welcomes your weight. You tug at his hair, eliciting a soft moan from the back of his throat. He grabs at your hips and lifts your shirt, circling the skin with his thumbs.

You sigh against his mouth, and soon he's moving his lips; pressing kisses against your jaw and neck and collarbones. "T-Ten..."

"Yeah?" He whispers, lips still against your neck as he does.

You shiver at the feeling, but try to calm yourself down anyway. "We should... I mean, not that I don't want to, but we should wait."

Ten laughs against your skin and turns his face away, clearing his throat. When he looks at you, there's a smile on his face, now accompanied by a soft blush creeping up his neck. "Want some wine before we tuck in?"

So the moment is forgotten — put on hold — and the two of you let yourselves get drunk off of expensive wine, if just for one night.

And you fall asleep, side by side, content.

You're jerked awake to the sound of someone busting down the front door. You ignore the pounding in your head and sit up, slapping a hand over Ten's mouth. "Ten, someone's in the house."

He sits up; grabs his knife off of the nightstand. "Walkers?"

"Humans," you hiss. You slip out of bed and peak through the blinds of the window. "There's one guy outside — looking through our car, the bastard. I heard at least one in the house."

Ten stands up and winces. He probably has a hangover too, but neither of you can afford the luxury of resting right now. This has to be dealt with. "Do we kill them?"

You look at the man outside. "I don't know. This one seems malnourished. They're probably on their own. No one would come looking for revenge. But also, I don't want to kill a human. Not if I don't have to."

"They make one wrong move," Ten says, gesturing to his weapon, "They're out. No info about where we live or who we're with, either. We tell them that's our car, we take it and leave."

"What if they put up a fight?"

Ten pulls the armoire away from the door. "We fight back."

"We're almost home," you say, trying to hide the shake in your voice. "Stay awake for me, Ten. Please stay awake."

Ten rests his bloodied hand atop yours. There's a stab wound in his side, and you're reaching over to try and apply pressure to the wound as you drive back.

You have no belt for a tourniquet, no bandages in your car. Of all the things the two of you found, you couldn't find any damn bandages. You squeeze your eyes shut as hot tears trail down your cheeks. You didn't know the stranger had a knife. He pulled it out of nowhere.

"We're almost there, Ten. We're almost there."

He pats your hand and lets out a strangled giggle. "I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine..."

You pull into the yard, outside the secure gate and shout for help. Taeyong and Mark run out, and you notice Scarlett peaking through the window. "Please, I don't know what to do!"

Taeyong opens the gate. "Drive up to the porch. Mark, set up the couch and bring me bandages and antiseptic. Bring me a needle and thread, too."

"Stitches?" you whisper, pained.

"Just drive him up!"

As Ten is placed on the couch, he passes out. From shock, Taeyong says, although you really don't care about the reason. You brush Ten's bangs up, away from his eyes as Taeyong applies the medicine and tries to stitch up the wound as best as he can.

"What if he doesn't make it, Taeyong?" You lean in to press your forehead against Ten's. "What do I do without him?"

Taeyong winces as he pierces through Ten's skin. "He lost a lot of blood, and I don't know how to do a transfusion. Hopefully he didn't lose enough to kill him. But that's all we have right now, okay? Hope."

You grab Ten's hand and press your lips to his palm. "I'm not leaving him."

Taeyong presses his lips together. "I'll get a rope, then."

"What?"

"Y/n... If he... If Ten doesn't make it, and he turns, it'll put us all in danger, okay?"

You can feel the tears again. Just the thought of Ten dying makes you want to burst into tears. Still, you nod. "Okay." You kiss Ten's forehead. "Okay."

Ten wakes up feeling like he just bathed in a bucket of sweat. And his side is burning. And his nose itches.

He reaches down to scratch it, but his hands are tied up behind his head. He grunts and tugs on the restraints. His eyelids are heavy, and he doesn't want to open them for lack of strength, but at the same time he really wishes someone would release him from whatever is holding him.

"...Ten?"

He hums at the sound of a new voice. It sounds like you, and it makes him want to open his eyes. Makes him want to reach out and touch you, assure you that he's okay, but he just doesn't have the strength. So he hums again.

"Ten... Ten, please tell me you're alive."

Ten groans again. Tugs at his restraints. He yanks hard, and hisses at the pain in his wrists.

"Ten, please..." you begin sobbing. It hurts Ten's chest. It hurts him so badly because all he wants to do is reach out and touch you; hold you, but he can't. He can't reach out with these stupid restraints on.

He tries to call out your name, but it comes out as a strangled moan. He can't manage anything other than meaningless noise, but he's trying. He's trying to tell you that he's alive, he's just struggling to wake up fully. That's all, that's all, that's all.

He yanks on the restraints again. His wrists ache. His side aches. His heart aches as your crying grows louder and he wishes he had more strength than he does.

He hears a gun safety click. Wait...

No, no, no, he's not dead. He's not dead and he hasn't turned, he's just weak, for goodness sake.

He yanks on his restraints. He tries to open his eyes. He's not dead. He isn't. He isn't. He isn't.

"Ten, I'm sorry..." you sob. He feels your fingers brush through his hair and then there's a cold barrel placed against his temple.

He struggles and tries to scream, but it comes out as a frustrated growl which only scares you more. He can't comfort you. He can't even comfort himself because he's comprehending that this is the end. This is the end of his life if he can't wake up, and you're going to be his murderer. You're going to put a bullet through the future you two could have together and there's nothing he can do.

"Ten, I love you," you whisper, hand splayed over his chest. "I love you so much."

He groans again. It's all he can do. He feels weak... so weak and he's starting to think that maybe you're doing him a favor. Maybe he's already dead. Maybe he actually is a walker, and this is just his subconscious, still living on.

Maybe he's just trying to justify his death.

Your crying gets louder, and Ten can hear other voices around you. They don't matter as much as you, though. He needs you to know that you're the only one he cares about. Before he goes, he needs you to know that.

He wants to say it back. He never said it out loud and now he's gonna die without you having ever heard him. You're never going to know how much he loves you and there's nothing he can do about it.

He thinks of your lips on his, and the way wine tastes on your tongue. He thinks of the warmth of your embrace and the bravery in your actions. He thinks about the softness of your hands and how cute you look with your hair up. He thinks of your heart in his hands and nothing else.

I love — he thinks to you, and then his mind is blank.

And he is gone.

#twd!nct #ten scenario #ten fluff #ten angst #ten au #nct au #nct scenario #nct fluff #nct angst #destwrites

255 notes · View notes

zepdeans · 5 years

Text

there’s not a lot I can say about s3 that hasn’t already been said (and articulated 200x better) but! here are some of my (albeit dumb) thoughts :~)

ep1 -isak leaning against the bathroom wall gets me EVERY time its such a powerful scene esp introducing you to s3 and tarjei..... spare some talent for the rest of us please -LiTeN gUtTeN fRa StRaNgEr tHiNgS -isak rly ties his pants w a shoelace...... -isak noticing even for the first time bc of his laugh.. whew.... also. i love this intro SOOO much bc its so non-monumental? theres no dramatic music or whatever but its not subtle.... like you know right away o shit love interest!! hello sir!! bc isak’s expression watching him :’) i could go on -isak is a bad liar HOWEVER this only applies to stupid nontrivial things e.g. the black sweatshirt. but when you look at him lying about like, his sexuality, he hides that shit well -”c00l” isak. i hate u so much -honestly all u have to do is look at even for .2 seconds and u can tell this boy has had a crush for a solid month bc he just looks awestruck (HOWEVER henrik’s acting is *chef’s kiss* bc its subtle enough to go undetected b4 you actually know eVEN SAW HIM ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL) -even isak and emma all sitting on the bench together is funny enough on its on but then a song called threeway comes on and like. julie sdshjsfdjfkjskd ep2 -there’s something so endearing about even’s handwriting idek what -i LOVE even’s video w mikael it reveals so much about him to us- how weird (ok we saw how weird he was w the paper towel thing but) and dorky he is? and his love of film! his view on love stories and how he sees the world :( but it also shows a lot abt isak because he saw even making stupid jokes about vladimir putin and was like yeah we about to fall in LOVE love -isak not using headphones to watch even’s video or r+j?? bde or general incompetence what’s the verdict guys -the isak watching r+j scene hits so hard like yall ever think about isak lying in bed at 3am staring at the ceiling probably thinking about how he’s never gonna get a beautiful world-shattering romance like that like ..... also him changing positions skam get out of my life go away ur too realistic -not to make this even more self-projection-y but isak simultaneously being the least emotionally vulnerable person ever but crying during r+j > -i made a post abt this already but even’s INTENSE staring vs isak’s “i have never looked anyone in the eye in my life” gets me it says so much about their characters -even said i see your bde move (asking me to buy you beer) and i raise u with my own (inviting you to my house after faking not having my id) -”if you listen to music” even is such a dick fsdjhsdff -when the message comes on...... i rlly do owe julie my life huh -”have you heard about my rapping?” “I have actually” have we talked about this enough????? 1. isak finally feels comfortable enough w even to flirt and his first move is to RAP for him jesus christ. keep in mind this is the same man who pulled that smooth af ibuprofen line w emma like...... 2. even has heard about isak’s rapping. either this means im-not-on-social-media even went out of his way to go thru homeboy’s instagram OR isak’s rapping is actually talked about. i- -the group chat messages. cant believe i forgot about the 2016 clown epidemic

ep3 -mahdi is a good friend and i love him. thank u -even wearing isak’s cap until he chucks it at him sjksfjsdjsd -how much yall wanna bet isak’s been listening to illmatic on repeat since last friday thinking abt even (even tho meeting sonja shattered his heart a lil) [also kinda an aside but i think a lot about how isak n even bonded over rap and how some homophobic lyrics in 90s etc rap might have impacted them? or how that little detail ties into julie’s story? e.g. halftime by nas, which is on illmatic] -whats worse. even staring into isaks soul wearing a size xs see-through white t shirt or isak staring at even for five (5) seconds before chugging his beer and immediately making out w emma. OR even crashing that party before it can start “i think you guys are bonding too much” cheesy ass shjhfsdhskdf -yall act like evak didnt invent hands. did even shaking isak’s shoulder telling him his apartment is nice mean nothing to u -im convinced robyn wrote call your girlfriend for this scene specifically bc how could anything fit so perfectly by coincidence -is anything better than egging isak on- even bech naesheim (2016) -idk if yall have read the scripts but i love the sock thing so much bc its soo true to how isak thinks and it makes everything so much more interesting and !!!

ep4 -i will never get over even sending isak bad seinfeld memes -even smacking open isak’s locker. first of all whew second of all u think as soon as he got into the stairwell he lowkey cried bc ow -parallel of isak saying “it’s 2016, why are you religious?” to sana vs. emma’s “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” to isak anyone :( -”takk sanasol!!!!” thank u isak for my life -I wanted to be with you aloneeeee -even’s face when he sees the pool like we get it youre a director -how many times do i need to say even is such a dick sjkfsd “does it look like i care about my hair?” “usually but not right now” like this would only work on isak i love soulmates!! -even just.. fully choking isak out ssdhgfd got em -when the first notes of im kissing you start ooh boy -even going in for the kill kiss and isak going from huh to oooo shit and pushing his lips out at the last minute. phenomenal

ep5 -ngl as soon as im not in love comes on my heart goes uwu bc like!!!! that song the meaNING.... them......... i jus love this scene sm like theyre in their own little bubble and they both feel so comfortable and at peace :(( -even leaving isak comics about an inside joke of theirs like yall mind if i scream -isak feeling left out from the conversation and his friends whew i felt that... and having them talk about how gross it is to makeout with a girl w facial hair?? blease :( -taking stock of isak’s nicknames: issy k, isabell, izzy, baby jesus, -im not even gonna bother trying to articulate thoughts on Pause bc it’s a literal masterpiece. thank u tarjei henrik and julie for inventing television with this one -MAGNUS SDFKJSDFJKDSHK "oooh my name is Jonas and I love idealism and reading klassekampen and I don’t like plastic and I skate on a skateboard made of sustainable wood and wear old clothes because new clothes are bad for the environment and I only drink recycled water” screAMMM -what i said abt pause also applies to pride ugh its such a powerful scene and!! the beginning of kicks to isaks stomach. honestly what i fucking love about this episode is how it goes from hell yea best day w even ever to crying in the street within one week (s3 had the best balance of angst and payoff thanks) -even’s Soft Party Flannel... forever tainted by this scene rip -not knowing why even kissed sonja keeps me up at night -speaking of. how used and stupid isak must’ve felt when he saw even completely unbothered, hooking up w his ex at this party?? whew :( -bros is one of my all time favourite clips solely bc of the music?? lift me up gives me chills and when hold my liquor starts i LOSE it -ep5 and 6 remind me of that quote “to see what your characters are really made of you have to break them” because julie rlly goes all in and god it hurts so good

ep6 -never have i ever seen insomnia portrayed as accurately as tarjei did here and i remember when i first watched the cantina scene i was like. winded bc its SO true to sleep deprivation whew -i really like that isak wasnt together with even when he reached out for help and came out to jonas. bc it was him, on his own, being strong enough to talk to his friends and then eventually he was confident and secure enough in himself to be in a good place when even started reaching back out!! -i have no idea what its like to come out to someone, to be afraid of your friends rejecting you, everything isak went through. but tarjei’s acting of when, like, you have something you KNOW you have to tell someone, and youve put yourself in the position where youre going to have to tell them, but youre terrified and eventually just force yourself SAY the words?? -and isak’s smile when he realizes jonas is gonna be his bro no matter what :’)))

ep7 -weirdly one of my favourite isak looks (black t-shirt grey snapback c-c-c-combo) -”what’s your name again?” have i mentioned i love sana and isak bc i love sana and isak -jonas truly is the best friend oh man. perceptive, thoughtful, loving, laidback, a friggen BRO. tbh i was wary of him in s1 and thought he didn’t treat eva well (tho I recognized he loved her a lot, he was just bad at being a boyfriend) but jonas in s3?? just goes to show how powerful your perspective of someone can change viewing them in a different role!! because while jonas was a crappy bf, he literally is SUCH an incredible friend and his actions and words and just! him! in s3 completely redeemed any illwill I had towards him :’) -maybe im a little gay (up there with other s3 comedy classics such as “thats a boys name”) -mahdi season WHEN ugh a legend -’when someone asks isak if hes going to a family party’ literally what other reason for living do i have if not to read the boy squad text convos -isaks locker finally opening and his smile at evens drawing whewwwwwww!! also even rlly is that guy who wont text you back but will leave hand written love letters in ur locker -also. another stellar look from valtersen -slutt a meld meg is a whole masterpiece like what other piece of media has the RANGE -eskild: play hard to get. jonas: no smiley!!! isak: nah fam im good B)

ep8 -this episode is BEAUTIFUL bc you feel practically euphoric?? like hell yeah theyre finally together!! isak is out and accepted and even is done with sonja! but theres also this unsettling undercurrent of worry bc you know deep down something isnt right? why is sonja calling isak? why is even acting kinda strange? whats going on? yknow?? -literally never going to get over 5 fine frokner :~) even is such a goddamn nerd and he’s the man of isak’s dreams can u believe!! -sana’s little speech is SO important in so many ways ooo i love her so much -also have we discussed eskild making evak do a photoshoot for him. highkey those are my favourite pictures of ALL time u can tell even was like hm strange but im down while isak was more omg guys stop🙄 omg haha eskild i cant believe youre making me cuddle with even for a photo🙄 i cant believe ur making me snuggle this dude for a pic!!!! definitely would not have done this otherwise!!! -magnus only realizing it’s THAT even after seeing how isak looks at him. whew -isak is so brave i rlly love that kid! his text to his mamma <3 -no r*make will EVER nail text conversations like mari/julie did w evak’s this week thanks for coming to my ted talk. i'd quote the best ones but it would literally double the length of this post (ok ill cave. “hahaha shut up❤️” GETS me) -you dont know whats in store but you know what youre here for. hallo -isak running around oslo with even’s clothes looking for him :( his heart is so big he cares about even so so much -when Part II (on the run) comes on in the credits its like a kick in the teeth honestly

ep9 -ive already screamed enough about cherry wine but god it fucks me up -cannot put into words how much I love eskild and how good of a person he is, he just has so much love in his heart -”wait they have waffles here? see ya” -this convo is why i love skam so much!!!! magnus giving insight and good thoughtful advice to isak was such a brilliant move by julie (also truLy heartwarming) bc like. magnus is a flawed layered character! he’s dumb and ignorant and not very careful with his words BUT hes also such a sweet guy. i genuinely dont think he would hurt a fly and him talking about vilde (in ep10) is ;-; bc he really likes her and respects her and wants to be a gentleman! hes so loving and just. yeah. also i wonder if isak and magnus (and vilde) ever talked about having mentally ill parents and lent on each other for support bc like....<3 [sidenote- this is why i HATE b***** like they absolutely massacred magnus’s character and magnus did not deserve that!] -det er bare slutt........ very cool of tarjei to invent acting here. also the character development makes me WEEP like at first isak lied and told his pappa it was over bc its easier to brush stuff off and say you were joking than be vulnerable especially about 1. having a boyfriend and 2. saying youve already broken up?? but then isak was like hey im done with lying about who i am bc i want my life to be REAL and he told his dad the truth even if it was hard and even if he was trying rlly hard not to cry -isak reaching out to even<3 standing up for even<3 -o helga natt. another scene i genuinely cannot comment on bc u cant really put into any written language how magical and breathtaking and heartbreaking and powerful and brilliant this scene is. so. -jk. obvs i cant say anything intelligent enough to give this scene justice but probably the most stunning piece of television i have ever had the privilege of watching. even’s text breaks my heart every gd time (esp since we never really see this side of him before finding out he’s bipolar? his guilt, insecurity, feeling like a burden, being scared of losing everyone in his life because he thinks he’ll hurt them). the music is SO beautiful i cry real tears as soon as the strings start. also the brilliance of JUST o helga natt playing and no dialogue except for isaks one line? isak’s realization when he sees the cross. him RUNNING across oslo to go to even. the FLASHBACKS all going backwards in chronological order until them smoking on the bench. isak looking at the bench and not seeing even and u can feel his heart breaking and urs breaks too! but then he remembers the bathroom and he turns and theres even and whewwww. du er ikke alene<3

ep10 -minutt for minutt is THE most healing clip im telling u. and like.. seeing even depressed really is hard and as someone who was very very depressed for 4-ish yrs of their life it rlly hits me? like when youre in an especially bad funk and you cant get out of bed and youre just numb and exhausted and feel so shitty and u want to be alone but you really dont???? could go on but literally i owe henrik holm my life for his portrayal of even -not to be a soft bitch on main but when isak tucks the blanket over even and it keeps getting pulled off his back so isak just. covers that spot with himself? -i do love that call between sonja and isak bc once again! a flawed (realistic) human being -and isak thinking its his fault even is depressed? it means a lot that sonja told him its no ones fault, even is just bipolar. and i wonder if isak felt that way about his mamma as well, guilty for her being ill, and if what sonja said made him feel better about that situation too :( -lowkey random but when isak is rambling really fast and he goes “maybe we’ll get bombed tomorrow and talking about all this is a waste of time” it continually punches me in the throat bc that is /exactly/ how i ramble and think like tarjei........ pls -like eskild said. there really is so much love in isak’s little grumpy teenage body<3 -isak no longer just passively accepting life as its given to him, now he fights for him and even!!!!! -isak is such a forgiving person and seeing him able to just accept things and move on? incredible -i remember when i first watched ep1 i was like oooo even and isak are gonna be kosegruppa partners and thats when theyll first get together, cooking food or smth!! but lmfao after episode 3? kosegruppa whomst???? also hilarious vilde thought isak of all people would willingly sign up for kosegruppa just to go to revue parties -even and linn friendship!!!! -cannot articulate how mf heartwarming it is to see even smiling and being more himself after being depressed (also thank u julie for having ups and downs coming out of his depression- its so true to life having one day when youre feeling awesome and then the next you feel awful again for no reason and its SO frustrating) -I had to stop watching passe pa meg cause it made me toooooo crazy! it would just be like: “I like seeing you laugh” and I was like: *SCREAMS* -im the fucking master of lying 😤 -literally don’t know why isak and even ragging on kosegruppa is so funny but “did you think I joined to have fun” gets me every time -I SAW YOU THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL -also even literally radiating love @ isak watching get snarky w vilde on the phone bc it reminded him of the first time he saw him! even rly is that boyfriend who thinks isak being pissy is the Best Thing he has Ever seen -halla boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz -literally the glo up of isak telling his friends the order in which he’d bang them -No filter! wow I love symbolism -so nice to see the girls together for a lil bit :) -the boys hyping up mags while also telling him to be respectful awwwwww -take desperate to a whole new level- Confucius -who’s going to show isak how to properly hold a beer can -literally evak banter gets me thru the day. thank u tarjei and henrik for having phenomenal chemistry + improvisation skills + making isak and even the dumbest nerdiest boys i have ever seen -biology partner. and friend. ;-; -even literally is the biggest stoner blease -isak’s talk with eva is just sooooo<3 and not to be emo on main but every single word of the last few sentences he says hit me so gd hard because i feel the exact same way in my BONES -livet er nå 💛

final thoughts :( <3 -this season is so special. it feels like one really long oscar-worthy movie or smth?? i cant even exblain, its just magical. ALSO very dear to my heart. -julie really said you guys have seen isak sad and alone and repressed for the past two seasons so heres him falling in love with the best person in the world and coming to terms with who he is and being brave and opening up and finally being happy and living a real life -this season definitely feels different from s1/2/4 to me editing or production or music smth wise? as in, its got a lot fewer aesthetic shots and the cinematography seems a bit different if that makes any sense???? I also think this is the season most focused just on the main (i.e. not many- if any? sideplots going on) -literally will never get over the thought, love, and detail put into this season. when i say there is literally nothing i would change about it, i mean it and coming from my nitpicky ass??? means a lot lmfao. the acting, directing, music choices, symbolism...... sublime -s3′s cold rainy autumn aesthetic makes me ACHE for fall and also nostalgic for a highschool experience I never had lmao?? also. all the nighttime clips >>> -don’t know what else to say except thank u skam for my life

#take a shot every time i say whew #fully put more effort and time into this than most of my uni projects xx #its super rambly but thats bc its mostly just my direct stream of thought #also super long! and probably still missing things i wanted to say #AND like 3 weeks late fshfjjkdjkfsd #skam #clownfest 2019 #blabbey

13 notes · View notes

sulevinblade · 5 years

Note

(Talesfromthefade) things you said when you were drunk, for the DWC?

OH MY GOD this was a little idea that got away from me in a big big way but I’m still pretty happy with it. For this and for “cafune - the act of running your fingers through the hair of someone you love,” from @contreparry! For @dadrunkwriting!!

Alistair/Leohta Aeducan, T for language, dumb suggestive jokes, and alcohol use, 4k+ words (awaaaay from me, I wish I had time to edit it but uh I spent the entire time writing it instead).

On the cusp of the party’s visit to Orzammar, Alistair learns what kind of drunk Leohta can be, and shares a little lesson of his own. Light angst, serious fluff.

He finds her standing on the rocky beach, well away from the dim glow provided by the Spoiled Princess’s small windows. It takes a moment for Alistair’s eyes to adjust to the complete dark–the night watch Templar doused all the torches at the dock, as clear an indication as anything that no one else would cross Lake Calenhad tonight–but even if he’d had to follow her blind he could’ve found her by the sound.

Bloop.

Normally finding Leohta by sound means the clank or grind of armour, the grunts or barks of Leon, or even her rare laughter at something Zevran said (it was always Zevran making her laugh), but tonight the sound is completely unfamiliar. It’s still enough to guide him, though.

Bloop.

Last he’d seen her, she was swapping some of the coin they’d made selling things to the Templar quartermaster for three large bottles of deep pink liquid. It seemed a bit of a racket to Alistair, that they should collect the mages’ items as they cleared the Tower only to sell them to the Templars who would then in turn sell them back to the Mages, but surely if that wasn’t how the economy of the Circle usually worked, Wynne would’ve said something. That was Alistair’s hope, anyway, as he’d watched Leohta count the coins before they left, then again at the tavern’s bar. She’d tossed the bag back to him before collecting the bottles and heading outside, and he in turn had left it with Zevran.

Bloop.

“You have known our illustrious leader the longest among any of us. Has this always been a habit of hers?” Alistair squinted across the table, trying to determine Zevran’s game, but succeeded only in giving up his own. “You think I see this as a weakness I can exploit, but I would think even you would see that if I were going to do so, I would have done it by now and certainly would not draw attention to my plans by involving you.” His eyes only narrowed further–how does Zevran make talking down to him still seem so seductive?–but Alistair did sit back in his chair.

“I haven’t known her all that long, really, but I don’t think so. Why d'you ask?”

“My Antiva makes the finest wines in Thedas, so it is not uncommon to see those there who overindulge, but there are many types. Leohta, she is young and exploring her limits, yes, but she is also trying to drown things she does not want to feel. Her limits are low and the things she seeks to kill are very large. It is a dangerous combination.”

Alistair glanced again toward the door. Of course she hadn’t come back inside, that’d be too much to ask for, but what was he supposed to do?

“If it is too much for you, I will go after her, but she should not be alone.” Both of their chairs scraped back at the same time but Alistair was the first to stand, something that for some reason brought a sad smile to Zevran’s face. Alistair could only look at it for a moment before looking away. "I know you do not think much of me, Alistair, and while that is entirely your loss, I do know that one thing we have in common is how much we care for her. Go see to her, my friend, before her sorrows are not all she drowns. It is probably for the best; I am not much of a swimmer myself.“

Bloop.

So now here he is, approaching carefully, pretending to be taking in the constellations while Leohta hurls rocks at the water like she’s trying to knock the waves down before they can reach the shore. The night is perfectly clear; Kinloch Hold is merely a dark space in the sky where the stars are missing, but everything else is black sky and white twinkles. He clears his throat in case she somehow hasn’t noticed since he doesn’t fancy getting one of those stones thrown at him, but she only pauses for a moment before bending to search the area around her feet for another suitable candidate. One bottle is already empty, stuffed mouth down among the pebbles and into the sand underneath them, and as Alistair finishes closing the distance Leohta gives up her search and instead tips to land on her backside, legs out in front of her and a second bottle in her hand. He knows they’re not small but her stature makes them seem even larger; it makes the sight of her lifting one to her lips almost comical but the effect is spoiled by how long it stays there. Maker’s breath, Zevran was right when he talked about drowning.

"You planning on coming up for air any time soon?”

There’s a pop as she breaks the vacuum she’s created, then a dry laugh. She still isn’t looking at him. It makes his chest hurt, how badly he wants her to turn her head. “Breathe through your nose and you can use your mouth for whatever you want.”

“You’re spending too much time with Zevran, saying things like that.” Sighing, Alistair drops down crosslegged at her side and extends a hand. “What are you even drinking? I’ve never seen anything that color in a tavern before.”

“One of the Templars told me about it. I guess–” there’s a pause and she bunches up her eyebrows, apparently trying to put the pieces back together, “I guess the mother started making it as a tribute to her daughter and now of course it’s all very sad but the owner still makes it as a specialty. Sweet mead made with roses.” She passes over the open bottle, not bothering to wipe the top, and the expression on her face, like she’s sharing a secret, distracts him so much he can’t be bothered either. She wasn’t kidding when she said it was sweet but the roses are strong too, floral and delicate. He passes the bottle back after just one mouthful.

“I’ve never had a mead like that before. It’s very… different.” Leohta seems to accept that answer, nodding before lifting the bottle to her lips again.

“There’s nothing like this in Orzammar. Not even in the palace. Not even to make it. No honey, no roses, and when there is if you said you wanted to make something like this with it, you’d be laughed out of the kitchen.” She holds the bottle in front of her contemplatively, swishing the contents back and forth gently and tilting her head in time with the motion. Alistair’d almost think it was a contented sort of gesture but then she sighs and drops her head back, hair falling over her shoulders as she lifts the bottle skyward. “Nothing like that, either. No stars, no sky. Some of the caverns are so high the ceilings are invisible, but you still know they’re up there.” Slowly, she lowers the bottle but keeps her gaze fixed upward.

“Do you miss that?” It’s not something he’s given a lot of thought to but it’s hard to imagine. Even within the walls of the Chantry there were windows. The sky was always there, or not-there maybe, when compared to a ceiling of stone. Trying to imagine life without it or everything it held–the sun, the moons, the clouds and stars and birds–was virtually impossible, but here was Leohta not just imagining the opposite but living it.

“Dunno. I still don’t understand all this. What keeps it up there?” Her hand waves up at the stars but only briefly; even sitting down she’s unsteady without both hands to support her. “With the stone, you know that even if you can’t see the ceiling, it’s still held there by the stone. Nothing floats, nothing rises or sets.” Watching her profile, he can see the way it hardens as her train of thought jumps the track. “Nothing changes.”

He shifts a little, the pebbles grinding softly underneath him as he leans to try to catch her eye. “You changed.”

This time when she looks over at him, it gives him a chill. The stone she’s been so contemplative about has found a home in her eyes, the set of her mouth. They seem cold and stiff and almost lifeless, soft evening blue turned to lapis lazuli. Still beautiful but hard. “I left, and not by choice. You wouldn’t know how much I’ve changed, Alistair. You have no idea what I was like before we met.”

“I suppose not, but I do know you’ve changed in the time I’ve known you.” He keeps his voice softer now, speaking carefully to avoid that stony shift becoming somehow permanent. He hasn’t seen her look like that since before Ostagar, and to lose all the little ways she’s softened since then would be the greatest waste. “Do you miss that? Or her, I guess. Do you miss who you were before?”

Her laugh is a single humorless sound that moves her entire body, shaking her shoulders and flexing her stomach. “What does that matter? She’s dead. Worse than dead.” There’s venom in her voice but Alistair doesn’t flinch since for once he’s certain it’s not directed at him. He watches as Leohta stands, a wobbly process that involves repeated planting of hands and feet before she can push herself vertical. There’s a powerful temptation to offer her help but the set of her jaw makes him stay his hand, even if whatever effect she might be going for is already ruined by her own unsteadiness. “Nobody mourned her, nobody misses her, but it doesn’t change the fact that she’s dead. Bhelen killed her as sure as he killed Trian. The prince is dead, the princess is dead. Princess Aeducan is dead.” Her voice is raising, getting louder and more raw the longer she speaks, until finally she’s yelling out at the water. “Princess Leohta Aeducan, second born and best beloved daughter of House Aeducan, is dead!” She punctuates the last word by throwing the empty bottle into the water but it’s a bad throw, short and shallow. The bottle makes only a small splash then floats, reflecting the moonlight as it bobs its way back toward the shore.

Alistair rises, brushing at the back of his breeches, and makes his way up to stand beside her. He’s well within punching range, possibly a dangerous gamble, but if the way she’s carrying herself is any indication, it wouldn’t hurt very much right now. Plus, if she punched him, at least it’d prove she was feeling something. “I’d mourn her but like you said, I never did get to meet her. I’ve met Warden Aeducan, though, and I think she’s pretty great. Accomplished a lot, too.”

She’s bent back down and is sorting through the stones at her feet, tucking some in the bend of her other arm. Standing back up is a careful process but she’s shaking her head the entire time. “They’re not gonna think so.” Her voice is normal again but her profile is still stony.

Bloop.

Was this was he was like heading into Redcliffe? Of course, he hadn’t gotten drunk on sickly sweet mead to deal with it, but he’d had his turn as the prodigal royal-but-not-really. The main difference was he never wanted it, but she spoke so little of her life before the Grey Wardens. Was the crown of Orzammar what she’d really wanted? Not that it really mattered now. “Seems to me they had their chance to appreciate you and they blew it.”

“Oh, no. That’s the thing. Up until the end, they loved Princess Aeducan. That was the whole problem. She was too well-loved. Luckily, I’m not.” Leohta stares out at the ripples from her last throw but the fight’s going out of her. It ought to be a comfort, less risk of being punched, but instead it just hurts more. He curls his hands into fists at his sides to keep from reaching out, swallows the words that’d tell her just how deeply loved she is and not only by him, as much as he might wish it were so.

“We could go back to Denerim without going to Orzammar.” Aaaaaaaalistair, what’re you doooooooing? He ignores the voice in the back of his head, prepared to make an argument for mounting their assault without the help of the dwarves, but Leohta shakes her head. She’s drunk and she’s still got better sense than you.

“Just because I don’t want to go back doesn’t mean we don’t have to. Being a Grey Warden isn’t supposed to be fun, hasn’t been so far, why start now?” She seems to consider the matter closed as she turns her attention back to the rocks she’s holding, sorting through them as though looking for a particular one. They start to slip away and clack into the pebbles below and with a frustrated sigh she picks one, letting the remainder drop. “This is supposed to be, though. How the fuck do you do this?” Another windup, another bloop.

“Wait. What are you trying to do?”

“Make it…” She shakes her head, the word apparently lost, and instead makes a bouncing motion with her hand.

“You’re trying to skip stones… by heaving them at the surface of the water with all your might?” And there’s the punch he was waiting for, exactly as painless as expected. It’s not even hard enough to stop him laughing.

“I saw you and Zevran do it in Redcliffe before we left and it seemed to calm you down so I thought I’d try. You made it look easy, but if you’re just gonna laugh then forg–”

Alistair intercepts her before she can start to walk away. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just that I never would have guessed that’s what you were trying to do. I thought you were mad at the lake or something.” She’s looking up at him, wary, so he holds his hands up in innocence. “If you still want to try, I can show you.”

“No more laughing?”

“No more laughing. Warden’s honor.” When Leohta seems satisfied with his intentions, Alistair finally looks away from her, crouching down. “The first thing you need is the right kind of rock. It needs to be pretty flat and you want a triangle shape if you can find one, but flat will do for now.”

She’s crouching as well. “I thought it would be better with a round rock, like a ball.” She’s quiet, almost chastized, and Alistair has to duck his head and cough into his fist to hide the grin it conjures.

“No, that’ll break through the water and sink. A flat rock will bounce better. Something like these.” He shows her the three he’s found, all rounder still than he’d like but they should do the trick. She holds up a couple of her own and really, they’re no better, but they’re only for learning. “Yes, those will do. Now.” Alistair drops to his knees and crooks his fingers around one of the stones. “You have to hold it like this, because the important part is that you get it to spin. That’s what makes it skip.”

Leohta’s squinting at his hand, then she tries it out herself. Her hands are smaller so she can’t quite circle it the way he does, but Alistair hopes it’ll work out. “Like this?”

“Just like that. Now, the other trick is not to throw it up but to flick it. You want it to stay flat so you have to kind of–” He turns his arm out at the elbow and flicks the rock out onto the water. Four hops, not his best work but not bad.

When he looks back at Leohta, though, she’s entranced. She watches the ripples so long he has to clear his throat to get her attention back, but this time every trace of the stone is gone from her face. She looks eager, determined, but also a little embarrassed. Surprised to have been caught, probably, but it’s a charming expression nonetheless. She turns to face the water again, weighing the rock in her hand, then moves her arm and throws.

It splashes and sinks just like all her other attempts. Leohta curses softly and starts to turn away but Alistair catches her wrist.

“Hey, no way. You’re not giving up after one attempt. C'mon. We’ve got two more rocks, so two more tries, then I guess I can let you give up.” He starts to move before she can start to argue.

“It’s not giving up, Alistair, it’s accepting the inedible. Inedibibble. Ined… remind me to compliment the tavernkeeper tomorrow. His stuff is good.” Her voice gradually gets softer, a delayed reaction to where Alistair has taken up a position just behind her. It’s extremely convenient for him: she can’t see how his face is burning up from the presumptuousness of being so close to her, but it’s also the best position to show her how to move her arm. He wraps his hand around hers and lifts her arm into position.

“From here, you have to flick your hand out. Try to imagine the rock spinning out from the inside of your thumb and taking all that energy with it. The harder you can flick it, the more it’ll bounce and the more hops you’ll–all right, that’s it, you and Zevran are officially being separated because that’s not even dirty and now you’ve made it dirty. I hope you’re happy.” The woman in front of him is struggling to contain her laughter, he can tell, and as much as he wants to keep her focus on him, it’s hard to be genuinely upset. She doesn’t laugh nearly enough and especially not around him. The fact that whatever is so funny is lost on him is a far distant concern.

Alistair waits for her to compose herself then takes a moment to compose himself in turn when she settles back into a proper posture that puts her in contact with him from shoulder to hip. She’s nearly as tall as he is when he’s on his knees like this, a fact he’s thought about many times but never quite in this situation. Leohta gives herself a little shake, tossing her hair in his face as she does. He tries to blow it out of the way but there’s just too much. All right then, one thing at a time.

“Now. Just remember, angle your hand back and then flick. That word is ruined for me now, I think. You’ve ruined flicking.” In front of him Leohta snorts and Alistair make a private vow to forbid Zevran from using that word. He wants it to be their joke even if he doesn’t understand it. “Do you think you can manage?”

“To flick? I’ve done all right for the last few years anyway.” She giggles and clears her throat. “All right. Angle my hand back,” and her hand is moving inside of his so he loosens his grip, “then forward and flick!”

Alistair peers over her shoulder and sure enough. Blip, blip. One hop, but it’s one more than she’d managed before. He puts his hands on her shoulders and squeezes. “There you go! Well done, Warden Aeducan.” She lifts one hand to pat his but he can tell she’s still looking at the ripples.

After a moment, he releases her shoulders and, feeling a little bolder by the fact that she hasn’t elbowed him away yet, reaches forward to comb his fingers through her hair. It’s a practical gesture–even as he’s speaking, her hair is getting in his mouth–but hardly exclusively practical. Her hair is thick and her scalp surprisingly warm underneath it. In front of him she’s gone very still; he thinks she might even be holding her breath but then again, so is he. He focuses on his own hands until he’s gathered her hair at the back of her neck, but then the tension in it changes and oh.

Alistair looks up and she’s right there, her head turned to look at him. Maker’s breath but she’s close, her mouth gently open and her eyes searching his face. Her breath smells like honey and roses and his hand is still in her hair, it’d be so easy and it might be perfect but she’s been drinking and that’s not right. Or might it be OK, with her looking at him like that? The motion of her lips is so mesmerizing that it takes him a moment to realize she’s speaking to him.

“Alistair.” And like that, the moment is over, or at least set aside. “Would you do that again?”

“Of course.” She could ask him to fetch the moons from the sky right now and he’d say yes, but… “Wait, do what?” He didn’t do anything other than have a whole lot of thoughts in a very short span of time.

“Touch my hair. That was nice.” She’s leaning more of her weight against him now and it’s nice but also just starting to make him concerned. Still, he already said yes, so Alistair releases her hair from where he’s holding it and threads his fingers through it again, starting at her temple, mindful of and parallel to the little braid she’s so meticulous about. As he does it, her eyes drift closed but her face is relaxed. It’s not quite a smile but he’ll take it. “Again,” she murmurs as his hand comes to rest on the back of her neck.

Alistair laughs softly but he complies with her request, stroking his fingers through her hair again. And again, and once more, until she leans forward completely and drops her head onto his shoulder. Her breath is warm on his neck as he gives her one last stroke, then stops to reach out away from her. She grumbles softly in protest but he hushes her. “I’m just getting your other bottle. It’s bought and paid for, no sense leaving it here.”

“Why, where’re we going?”

“I don’t know yet about myself but you are doing to bed. Sleeping standing up is only good for horses and probably Sten, and sleeping on your knees is good for no one. Now, come on, up you get.” He hooks the hand holding the unopened bottle of rhodomel under Leohta’s knees, his other arm coming up behind her shoulders. She grumbles again as he starts to stand and he pauses before beginning to walk.

“You’re carrying me like a princess.” The humor in her voice warms him but now he feels a little more confident about deflecting it.

“I’m a Warden carrying another Warden like a Warden. No princesses here. Well, except for the tavern but I’m certainly not trying to pick that up. I could throw you over my shoulder if you wanted, but you have to promise not to throw up on my back.”

“No promises.” She slumps against his shoulder as he starts to walk. It’s only a few steps from the beach to the door but he takes his time. Who knows what Orzammar will do to her, or what she might do to Orzammar? The answer is liable to be complicated but this, for as unexpected as it is, feels strangely simple. She might not even remember it in the morning, but it’s not a feeling Alistair’s going to forget any time soon. “Alistair.”

“I don’t have a free hand to pet you, but if you can stay awake until we get inside, maybe I’ll give you scritches once I get you upstairs.” He’s trying to figure out how he’s going to open the door when she shakes her head and answers.

“Thank you for coming out tonight. I’m sorry I’m–”

“None of that now. You have nothing to be sorry for, and if anything I should say thank you for having me.” Alistair manages to hook the latch with his pinkie then wedge his foot into the gap, kicking the door open as he maneuvers her inside. “You may not have found it so, but I think being a Warden can be a little bit fun, if you’re with the right person. Or people,” he continues, scrambling to cover for himself while trying to ease the door’s closing with his foot. Once he’s got both feet back on the ground, he looks down at the woman in his arms. Fast asleep, looking as young as he’s ever seen her and more peaceful than she has possibly the entire time he’s known her. The inn’s main room is empty, the fire doused, and he’s almost loathe to speak again and interrupt the silence, but he does.

“Or person. Just the right person.”

#my writing #dadwc #dwc #alistair theirin #leohta aeducan #alistair x f!warden #alistair x f!aeducan #alcohol #but also fluff #and feels #leohta's such a mess #oh and yes she and jonah gave their mabaris the same name #it's a thing

30 notes · View notes

all-hail-the-witcher · 6 years

Text

questionable government spies: chapter 11

ANY AND ALL PREVIOUS PARTS UNDER #SPY BOYS OR ON THE MASTERLIST

_________

here we goooOOOOOO

okay so alot goes down in this please try not to get too mad

its all for a reason I promise

twitch knows said reason and her general reaction was “fuck”

also I tried very very hard to make it accurate I spent literally I think like 3 months googling stuff for this

extra thanks to twitch for the evil planning

also fizz helped, hi fizz, she like made everything worse so if you have a problem go complain to her

I mean you can complain to me too but like her also

anyway lets do this

also im not really sure how to tag these warnings so if you've got any questions before you read please shoot me a message/ask whatever you want

_______

ship: eventual sprace, platonic ralbert, spromeo, fittons, jack tries to flirt with Kath and it fails

warnings: post insane traumatic injury (??) I dont wanna give it away so if you have a question please message me !!, mention of an explosion, pain, both emotional and physical, physical disability, mentions of a previous bad relationship

editing: I think so theres been alot of different versions but im fairly certain it all lines up

words: significant amount

_______

Albert was about ready to yeet himself of a bridge, as Race would say. At least, he thought that that was what Race would say. Maybe he was using yeet in the wrong context…. Anyway, Albert was just done with listening to Jack trying to flirt with Katherine.

This was the first day that his and Jack’s schedule had overlapped with Katherine’s. Of course it had to be today, the day after the mission. As if Albert didn’t have enough of a headache from the night before.

Maybe it would be more tolerable if Race were working with them, Albert thought as he moved himself all the way down to the opposite side of the counter, away from Jack. But, Race wasn’t allowed to work with them because he might flood the kitchen again.

“If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple.”

Albert let out a loud groan and nearly smacked his head into the counter, beside him Romeo let out a laugh.

“What’s the matter, Al?” He asked teasingly. “Ya don’t like it when people flirt? Ya live with Race for crying out loud!”

Albert sighed, picking his head up off the counter. “No, I just don’t like it when Jack flirts. He’s not subtle, and he uses the most obnoxious pick up lines. At least Race is a little more chill with it.” He thought back to the terrible snow puns from the night before. “Well, most of the time.”

“Well, he did learn from the best,” Romeo bragged and Albert gave him a sideways look. “What? I am a master at flirting! See, I’ll prove it to you. I bet I can make the next person who walks through that door blush.”

Albert rolled his eyes. “Be my guest.”

The next person to walk through the door happened to be Buttons. Albert choked out a laugh. Romeo made a face but still delivered his pickup line.

“Hey Buttons!” He called. “Is your name google? Cause you’re everything I’ve been searching for.”

Buttons made a disinterested face and Albert dissolved into a fit of laughter.

“Ro, didn’t we say no more flirting with the customers?” Buttons asked as he moved around some of the chairs at a table close to the counter.

“But you’re not a customer, you’re an employee,” Romeo pointed out as he began to help a customer.

“All the more reason not to flirt with me,” Buttons stressed. “Besides, don't you have a boyfriend?”

“Specs thinks it’s funny when I flirt with other people,” Romeo pouted.

“I find that hard to believe.” Buttons finished moving around the chairs and walked back towards the door.

“What’s he doing?” Albert asked Romeo as he prepared a drink for a customer.

Romeo glanced up. “Oh, he’s bringing Finch in. He must have been discharged yesterday after his surgery.”

“His what?” Albert was confused. Jacobs had mentioned that Finch was recovering from some sort of attack by the gang, but that had been 6 months ago. Surely he was doing better now…

“Oh, did no one tell you about Finch?” Romeo asked, pausing to call out an order.

“No…?” Albert said. “Well, Jacobs mentioned that he had gotten injured on the YMONY case and was recovering but that’s it.”

“Recovering isn’t the word I’d use,” Romeo said. “He’s had a rough time.”

“What do you mean?” Albert asked uncertainly.

“You’ll see,” Romeo waved him off as the door opened again, revealing Buttons pushing Finch in a wheelchair.

“Hey Finch!” Romeo greeted as Buttons parked his chair at a table next to the counter. “How’ve ya been?”

“Pretty good,” Finch responded.

Buttons rolled his eyes. “Don’t listen to him. He’s been in constant pain for the last week.” He leaned down to kiss Finch gently on the lips. “I’ll be in the kitchen. Have one of the guys come back and grab me if you need anything.”

Finch nodded and waved to Buttons as he walked toward the kitchen. Then he looked up at the counter and noticed Albert for the first time.

“Albert Dasilva! I haven’t seen you in years!” He exclaimed, taking in his friend. “I almost didn’t recognize you.”

“Yeah it’s been awhile,” Albert agreed, leaning across the counter and surveying Finch's appearance. He was wearing an old blue flannel shirt and sweatpants. The right sleeve of his shirt was rolled up to his bicep, revealing the fact that he was missing most of his right arm. Fastened securely on top of his shirt, around his lower abdomen, was a white brace that appeared to extend all the way down his left leg under his sweatpants. There was heavy bandaging and most likely a brace encasing his right lower leg. The chair was tilted back slightly and both foot rests were raised to support his presumably injured legs.

“Are you and Race still partners?” Finch asked as Albert rung someone up at the register.

“Yeah, yeah, we’re still partners,” Albert felt himself smile at the mention of Race. “We’ve started training a kid. Jack!” Albert called across the counter to Jack, who was still trying to miserably flirt with Katherine.

Jack wandered over, looking a little disappointed that he was being called away from his crush. “What is it?”

Albert gestured to Finch. “Jack, this is Finch Cortes. Race and I were friends with him in training. He’s partners with Buttons, and they were training Katherine.” Then he turned to Finch. “Finch, this is Jack Kelly. Race and I have been training him for about a year.”

“Hi,” Jack said, clearly anxious to get back to Katherine.

“You’re so lucky that Race and Albert are training you,” Finch told him. “They’re two of the best field agents I’ve ever seen. Well,” he paused, laughing slightly, “except for that time where they almost blew up the weapons lab.”

Jack stamped his foot in frustration. “How is it that everyone knows about that except me?”

“It’s just one of those things you had to experience for yourself to truly appreciate it,” Romeo sighed, staring off into the distance comically. “I will never forget the look on Jacobs’s face when he told us why it was off limits.”

Albert and Finch began to laugh and Jack stomped back down behind the counter toward Katherine.

“Al, when’s your break?” Finch asked after the laughter had subsided. “I wanna catch up.”

Albert glanced up at the clock. “I can take it now, actually, one second.” He ducked back into the kitchen to hang up his apron and returned moments later, pulling up a chair at the table Finch was sitting next to.

“So,” Finch began. “What brings you and Race back here? I thought Race didn’t want anything to do with this city.”

Albert laughed a little. “Well, Jacobs assigned us a case, and he thinks that we’re going to fail, so Race wants to prove him wrong.”

“What case?” Finch asked. “Or are you not allowed to say?”

“No, no, I can say,” Albert said. He took a deep breath. He was still hoping against hope that Finch hadn’t gotten injured on the YMONY case, even though he knew he had. “Race and I were tasked with bringing YMONY down,” he said.

Finch’s face darkened for a brief second before he responded. “I didn’t realize that someone else was getting assigned to that,” he said.

“Apparently no one was supposed to,” Albert said. “But they got some sort of coded message and Jacobs hates us, so he figured hey why not put them on, if they go missing or die then at least I’ll be rid of them.”

Finch smiled briefly. “Buttons and I were on that case. They’re a dangerous group, as you can see.” He gestured to himself with his left hand.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Albert began hesitantly, “what happened? Just so I know what we’re getting ourselves into.”

“No, I don’t mind at all,” Finch assured him. “Well, it all started with the Big Bang….which was of course me hitting the floor.”

From the counter, Romeo let out a loud groan and Albert suppressed a laugh. He was glad Finch’s current situation had not affected his personality.

“I was at a warehouse with Buttons and Katherine,” he continued. “We knew that it was a point of contact for the gang and I wanted to scout the area. Buttons and Katherine were around the corner in the car on comms with the cameras and schematics pulled up. I was up on one of the ledges when an explosion went off, shoving me off and down about 10 feet. Then another explosion went off. I don’t remember anything after that but apparently part of the warehouse started falling apart. They told me a steel beam fell on me.”

Albert was at a loss for words. “Oh my god,” he whispered. And I let Race go undercover in that gang. “Are you gonna be okay?”

“You want the laundry list of stuff?” Finch asked, although he didn’t seem annoyed. “Then you can decide for yourself.”

“Um, sure,” Albert said.

“Well, my arm got blown off in the explosion,” he began, gesturing to his stump, just above where his elbow should have been. “I have a prosthetic, but I don’t like wearing it because it’s not the permanent one and it’s uncomfortable.” He paused. “When I fell off the ledge I landed on my back, which caused a dislocated hip and a T9 spinal fracture.”

“You’re not- you’re not paralyzed are you?” Albert stammered.

“Hold your horses, Al,” Finch smiled. “I’m getting there.” He paused, remembering where he had left off. “The beam that landed on me broke my left femur into 5 pieces, broke my left knee cap, and shattered my right lower leg. The beam also caused severe damage to my left femoral nerve which they think might have resulted in a degree of permanent femoral nerve dysfunction. And the shattered bones in my lower right leg completely severed my peroneal nerve, causing probably permanent peroneal nerve palsy. Also, the damage to my spinal cord resulted in incomplete paraplegia.”

Albert stared at him. “English please?”

Finch laughed. “I’m paralyzed from about here,” he pointed to several inches above his belly button, “down. But, since the injury was incomplete, my brain can still send some signals. I have about 50% feeling still from my hips down. In terms of movement, my left leg and hip are more immobile than my right, at least that’s what the doctors speculated, they won’t know for sure until my legs heal. Plus, all of the damage to the nerves in my legs kinda complicates things a little. But, I do have pretty good control of my abdominal muscles, about 75% of what it was and relatively no loss of feeling there so that’s good.”

“So, you are paralyzed?” Albert asked.

“Yes,” Finch said. “Both incomplete T9 paraplegia, and bilateral peripheral neuropathy.”

“Are you going to be able to walk again?” Albert stared at his friend with concern and sympathy.

Finch shrugged. “No one's really sure yet. Depends on how well everything heals and what my range of motion ends up being. I had surgery about a week ago on my right leg,” he pointed to the bandages encasing his right lower leg. “It was meant to relieve some of the pressure and hopefully give me a little movement. I have a scan next week to see how my left knee, leg and hip are healing and if they’re good I’ve got a chance of walking again. But, they have already told me that it will be difficult. Even if everything does heal properly, because of the severe nerve damage and spinal paralysis, I’ll still need braces, probably an HKAFO and forearm crutches or a walker which could be difficult considering….” he trailed off, gesturing to his missing arm.

“What’s an HK whatever it was?” Albert asked.

Finch shifted slightly, his face contorting with pain. He pointed to the brace around his lower back. “This is an HKAFO. It’s a brace that goes around your torso and hip area and then down your thigh, knee, ankle and foot. The one I’m wearing right now only goes around my left leg. Once it’s decided whether or not walking is in the question, another leg brace will get attached around my right leg. It’s kind of like an exoskeleton.”

Albert looked at his friend, letting all of that information sink in. Finch was paralyzed. Finch might never walk again. Finch had been injured while on the same case he had Race were on. “Dude, I am so sorry,” he finally said.

Finch brushed off his apology. “Why? Wasn’t your fault and there’s nothing you can do to change it.”

“I can help bring down the people who did it,” Albert reminded him.

Finch laughed, which Albert found odd considering the situation. “I’m sure you guys will. But I’m not one for revenge. Besides,” he smirked at Albert, “this is just a side effect of being a field agent.”

“Yeah I’m pretty sure they don’t cover amputation and paralysis in the orientation,” Romeo called from the counter.

Finch rolled his eyes. “Well, yeah. But I willingly signed up for this, I knew getting severely injured or dying was a possibility.”

Yeah, Albert thought. A possibility we all would like to forget exists.

“Besides,” Finch added. “I’m not dead, so that’s a plus.”

Albert stared at him in disbelief. “You’re missing half of your right arm and you can’t walk. How is any of this good?”

“Well for starters, I still have my left arm.” He waved it around for emphasis. “And I can get around just fine in a wheelchair. Plus I have a fantastic boyfriend to take care of me. The worst thing about all of this is that I can’t use my slingshot anymore.”

“I don’t understand how you’re so positive about all of this,” Albert said.

“Facing death makes you appreciate life, Albert,” Finch said. It would have been poetic if he didn’t sound so sarcastic.

Albert shrugged. He knew Finch was right, but he couldn’t stop picturing Race in his place. He didn’t think he could go through that.

Finch opened his mouth to say something, but then closed his eyes and scrunched up his face in pain. His breathing was loud and quick.

“Finch?” Albert said immediately, jumping out of his chair. “Finch what's wrong?”

“Get Buttons,” he said through clenched teeth. “And ice.”

Albert didn’t have to be told twice. He ran into the kitchen, skidding to a stop next to Buttons who was working at the grill.

Albert clamped a hand onto Buttons’s shoulder. “Finch needs you,” he said and Buttons’s eyes widened as he began to turn. “Look like he’s in pain. He asked for ice.”

“Okay,” Buttons said, calling over to one of the other workers in the kitchen and abandoning his station. He ran to the freezer and filled a bag with crushed ice before darting through the doors, Albert following close behind.

Finch was exactly where Albert left him. If he hadn’t been, Albert would have been worried. Buttons pulled up a chair directly in front of of Finch’s chair and gently lifted his right leg into his lap. He rolled up Finch’s sweatpants to the knee, revealing a brace around his lower leg and foot and thick bandaging. Then he pressed the ice bag to his boyfriends mangled leg.

A pleased sigh escaped Finch’s lips and he opened his eyes to look at Buttons. “Thanks babe,” he said.

“Of course,” Buttons responded. “Everything else okay?”

Finch nodded.

Buttons turned to Albert. “What kind of lies has he been telling you?”

“I didn’t tell him any lies!” Finch protested. “I told him what happened.”

Buttons rolled his eyes. “Yeah, and I bet you left out the part where you died for three minutes, and the part where they almost had to amputate not one but both of your legs, and the fact that you were in the ICU for almost a month before you were stable enough to be moved, and the part where you can barely sleep through the night without screaming in pain.”

“I was unconscious for most of those things,” Finch protested. “And I’m here now, so what does all that really matter?”

Buttons looked at Albert. “Is Race ever this stubborn about injuries?”

Albert considered for a moment. “Race isn’t usually the one who gets injured. That’s my job.”

Buttons sighed. “Consider yourself lucky.”

Albert thought back to the previous night’s events and how his efforts had gone to waste. He thought about how his hands had been shaking last night when he went to purchase Race’s advil. He thought about Race leaning into him last night as he guided him gently down the hall to their apartment. “Yeah,” he whispered, mostly to himself, “real lucky.”

Finch lifted his head and looked at Albert quizzically as if he were about to say something when Medda burst out of the back room calling his name.

“Albert!” she sang. “Would you be a dear and play these lovely customers some of your music?”

Albert smiled. “Of course Miss Medda.” He stood and began walking back towards the break room to grab his guitar. When he came back, Medda was talking to Finch about his condition.

“You feeling any better, baby?”

“A little bit,” Finch said as Albert began to tune his guitar. “Still a lot of pain, but we’re getting there.”

“That’s good, honey.”

Buttons adjusted the ice bag as Al plucked the E string. Finch winced slightly and Buttons picked up his hand and began to rub gentle circles into it with his thumb.

Guitar finally tuned, Albert moved toward the wood stove in the far corner of the coffee shop to begin playing. Medda usually had him play around 10 songs at a time.

He played a variety of slow indie coffee shop-esque songs and came down to the last one. He plucked a daw strings absently as he tried to decide what to play. His mind wandered for a few seconds before he decided.

He began to strum the opening chords before he sang.

“He’s watching the taxi driver he pulls away. He’s been locked up inside his apartment a hundred days. He says ‘yeah he’s still coming, just a little bit late, got stuck at the five and dime saving the day.’ He just watching the clouds roll by and they spell his name, like Lois Lane. But still he smiles, oh the way he smiles.”

Across the shop, Finch caught his eye, looking as if he were deep in thought.

“He’s talking to angels, counting the stars, making a wish on passing cars. He’s dancing with strangers, falling apart, waiting for Superman to pick him up in his arms, in his arms.”

Crap, Albert thought. He knows.

•••

Albert arrived back at his and Race’s apartment around 2 pm since he had had the morning shift at the coffee shop.

“Race?” He called out softly, hanging up his jacket and leaning up his skateboard against the wall. Apparently Oscar gave anyone involved in a heist the next day off so they could rest, sleep, tend to their wounds, etc. Since Race wasn’t in the kitchen or the living room, Albert assumed he might be napping.

He walked quietly down the hall to Race’s room and peeked inside. Sure enough, there was Race, curled up in an oversized sweatshirt and athletic pants, dozing gently on the bed.

Albert smiled and walked into the room, sitting down next to Race and pulling the throw blanket he kept at the end of the bed on top of him.

A few minutes later, Race began to stir. “Hey Albie,” he yawned, stretching slightly. “How was work?”

“It was okay,” Albert said, remembering Finch.

Race made a face, shifting to rest his head on Albert’s leg. “Your tone of voice and facial expression says otherwise,” he mumbled sleepily.

Albert laughed. Race could read him far too well. “Buttons brought Finch in today.”

“Oh, how is he? He was hurt on our case right?” Race had closed his eyes again.

“It’s bad, Race,” Albert whispered. “He lost most of his right arm, and he’s paralyzed. All those terms he told me….” Albert trailed off, thinking about all the medical shit Finch had told him. “There’s a good chance he won’t be able to walk again, Racer. And I just kept thinking, what if something like that happened to you?”

Race cracked open his eyes, staring up at his worried best friend and gently taking his hand. “I’m fine, Albie, there’s no need to worry about me,” Race reassured. “Last night went fine, I’m just a little beat up is all. I’ll be fine in a few days.”

“Are you sure hun?” Albert let the pet name slip out accidentally and he winced. He only called Race that when he was worried about him. But after last night, he had reason to be.

Race’s expression softened and he placed his hand on Albert’s leg. “Hey, hey. I’m okay,” he whispered.

“I know, I just,” Albert sighed, “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

Race snorted. “Says the person who has more scars than freckles.”

Albert rolled his eyes.

“I’ve danced my whole life, Albie,” Race reminded him. “I have a crazy ability to overcome minor physical injury.”

Albert sighed again, lacing his fingers though Races. After a few minutes Race spoke up. “Lay down with me?” he whined.

“Of course.” Albert stretched out next to Race, looping his arm around his chest, relishing in the physical contact that proved that Race was, in fact, okay. At least for now.

_________

im sorry but it had to be done

if you have any questions about finch please ask hes gonna be around for awhile

there was a version where he died but were Done With That

also that song Albert was singing was waiting for superman by daughtry

again sorry

but also not

ALSO AMPUTATING FINCHS ARM WAS FIZZ’S IDEA NOT MINE I TAKE NO CREDIT SHE WANTED HIM TO “not be able to shoot his slingshot anymore”

huuuuuu

feedback is always appreciated hmu to be on the tag list

tag list @fairly-awkward-trashcan @well-the-kids-do-too @racetrackcook @bouncyscreamingnewsboys @ughwaitwhat @aw-jus-let-em-try @ben-cook-can-cook @the-woild-is-my-what-now @tommy-s-s0cks @voice-foundshoe-lost @galaxy-trees13 @stopthe-presses @ridin-in-style @pinecovewoods @i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing @bencookisagod @be-more-chill-evan-hansen @hellasoulless @stellar-alpaca @saxoph-ella @smolcanadiankid @disney-princess-sized @the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog @insane-tomato @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn @have-we-got-news-for-you @thatfancyclam @myidkwhatmynameisblog @legoflambwrites @that-one-newskid @not-a-scab @albertdasillva

@entschuldigung-bitches

@thebroadwayaesthetic

@tea-and-theater

@thomasbeingthomas

@seasickdolphin

@auspicioustarantula

@newsies-of-nyc

@mrs-higgins

@sunshine-e-cigarettes

@spot-me50-papes

@satafe-cafe

@papesdontsellthemselves

@king-of-new-yoirk

#spy boys #saphie scribbles #ralbert #sprace #fittons #spromeo #jack is a disaster #im sorry about finch I swear theres a reason #albert dasilva #racetrack Higgins #spot conlon #buttons davenport #finch cortes #romeo #newsies fic #damn #I hurt him good #this is why there was a fic with paralysis and another with amputation awhile ago #I was getting you ready

61 notes · View notes

wordsandshawn · 7 years

Text

vent

A/n: Not requested, but just a little angry!shawn imagine.

Shawn’s angry. You can tell by the way that he’s been uncharacteristically silent. His eyes hold the anger you know he’s too smart to let out. It has been a rough day for him, you know that. You just wish that everyone could understand that, and not keep making things worse, even if they’re not doing it on purpose. You wish that everyone would give him the time and space he needs without pushing him so much. But thats not always the case.

First, it was the paparazzi outside the hotel, getting into his personal space and yours as well when you were trying to leave earlier that afternoon. Normally Shawn is very chill with the paps, but whenever they get too close or too forceful with you, that’s when he gets angry. The paps were in your face more than normal so that already had him tense from when you left the hotel, but it only got worse when an interview got sprung on him last minute. Shawn was originally supposed to have the afternoon free, so you were planning to just chill out and have some time together since the week had already been so busy, but then Shawn had to work, which upset him a bit. It didn’t help that the interviewer was terrible at her job and came across quite rude. You watched the whole interview from behind the camera, and you couldn’t help but cringe at the entire thing.

The last straw was possibly the worst one. When you and Shawn were heading back to the hotel after dinner, some fans stopped you on the way. Shawn had taken pictures with those same fans that morning, and he remembered them. He tried politely telling them that he was really exhausted, and that they had all already gotten pictures with him that morning, but the girls kept insisting on getting pictures. They already had their phones out recording, and he was stuck in a difficult position. He could just take the pictures with them, since they wouldn’t let up and it would take a few minutes and it would get them off his back. But at the same time, he had already had it with everyone today, and it doesn’t help that fans are asking for pictures with him when he already gave them pictures that morning. Even worse, they’re acting like he owes it to them, when they rightfully do not own or control any part of him. Yes, they support him, and he appreciates it, but he certainly doesn’t owe them two pictures in one day.

He gives in, but you know that the fans attitudes are grating on his nerves that have already been tested all day. When he’s finally finished giving everyone a photograph, he takes your hand in his and you both head into the hotel lobby. He’s completely silent all the way into the elevator. When you get out on your floor, Andrew, Jake, and Geoff are all walking with you and Shawn, walking down the hallway towards the room you share with Shawn. You know that Andrew still has things he needs to talk to Shawn about tonight. Things about scheduling and planning, but you take one look at Shawn and then look back at the three. “Lets have the meeting tomorrow morning.” Shawn says, its not a question, its not a suggestion.

But yet, Andrew still tries to protest, “Theres some things that we need to talk about. It has to do with tomorrow.”

“It can wait.” Shawn says shortly, fumbling with his wallet to find the room key.

Andrew is about to protest, but you shoot him a look that lets him know its best not to. Shawn finally retrieves the key and unlocks the room, entering immediately after barely saying bye to the three, while you linger out in the hall for a second.

“He’s had a rough day,” You tell them, stating the obvious, something that they should be well aware of by now, but that they don’t seem to be.

“I know he seems pretty out of it, but we need to talk about tomorrow.” Andrew tells you. He’s not upset or blaming you. He’s just stating the facts.

“I know, but tonight is not the time for that, believe me. Make the decisions you need to. He’ll be fine. Just give him some time, though.” You tell them.

They nod, and tell you goodnight, even though its only eight pm, before they leave to their respective rooms and you breathe a sigh of relief. Now all you have to do is go into the room, and try to calm your boyfriend down. He has every right to be angry, and you understand it, but you can’t do anything to fix it, and that's the worst feeling.

You enter the hotel room to find that Shawn has already changed from his black jeans and dress shirt into some gym shorts and a t-shirt. You take a seat on the couch, and watch him pace the room and run his fingers through his hair. He’s going over everything that happened throughout the day and what just happened outside the hotel. He’s processing everything. This is how he is when he’s angry. He’s silent the entire time. You don’t say anything. You just watch him pace and think. Finally, after a few minutes of silently pacing the room, he looks up at you.

“You know what’s the shittiest and most aggravating feeling?” He questions, his voice holding anger and irritation, but you know that none of it is really meant to be directed at you.

“What?” You question.

“When everyone acts like I owe them something.” You just nod, knowing that he needs to vent, and that you completely agree with him and his anger. He takes your nod as an invitation to continue, which it was. “The paparazzi think I owe them something. They think I owe them you. That just because you’re dating me or some shit, that they can get all up in your personal space asking personal questions, but they have no right!” He’s right, and it does bother you too, but you try not to let it show, for Shawn’s sake. You try not to let on just how terrified you are of the paparazzi at times, but you think he knows anyway. Its probably why it pisses him off so much. He continues before you can even formulate a response beyond a simple nod. “And then that interview, what the fuck was that?” Thats all he says about the interview, and you’re glad he’s not about to get into that right now. “And the fans think I owe them pictures when they already got pictures. And what if I just don’t want to take pictures. Why can’t I just say no? I know why, because then theres headlines and fans posting all over social media that I'm rude, and thats ‘bad for my image’” He says the last part as though he’s quoting someone else, presumably someone on the PR side of things, and you've sat in on enough meetings to know he’s not exaggerating or overreacting.

“I’m sorry baby,” Is all you can think to say in the moment. Because theres nothing else to say. There is nothing the you can say that will change anything. It won't change anything that already happened today, and it won't prevent these sorts of things from happening again, even though you desperately wish that it would.

“Its not your fault.” He mumbles, shaking his head. He takes a seat next to you on the couch, and you take this moment to wrap your arms around him. He leans into you. Even though he’s still angry, you know he is, he just melts into you. This isn’t something he can just get over quickly, but he’s careful not to take it out on you. He vented to you, which is understandable, but he doesn't snap at you. He doesn’t get upset at how little you’re helping, and he doesn’t blame you for anything because he’s right, its not your fault. He’s always careful about things like that, about not releasing his anger at the people that don’t deserve it. Hell, he’s careful about releasing his anger towards people who do deserve it.

You spend the next ten minutes doing the only thing you can do in, you hold him in your arms, running your fingers through his mess of brown curls. He silently processes everything, and he lets himself be angry for a few minutes. You let him be angry. But after those ten minutes of silent fuming, he sits up from his spot in your arms. He leans back and stares at you for a few seconds. You simply stare right back. He’s not fully over it yet, but still he smiles at you, and you know he’s going to be just fine. He always is, and it still baffles you how he manages to get over his anger so quickly.

And then he asks, “Wanna watch a movie?”

You just nod in response and grab the tv remote, handing it to him because you don’t want to choose. And then you lean into him, letting your eyes fall shut, feeling the exhaustion from the day wash over you. You rest in Shawn’s arms while he suggests movies you two could potentially watch. Even though the world outside is crazy and always pushing and pulling. Always changing plans up and asking for more, inside this hotel room, inside any room you’re alone in with Shawn, those things don’t seem to matter as much to either of you. Even in the midst of this craziness that has become Shawn’s life, and yours too by association, you two can always find peace in each other.

#Shawn mendes #imagine #Shawn Mendes imagine #Shawn Mendes fanfic #Shawn Peter Raul Mendes #shawn peter raul mendes imagines #shawn Peter raul mendes imagine #Shawn Mendes imagines #Shawn Mendes blurb #angry shawn

553 notes · View notes

oflgtfol · 6 years

Text

passengers (2016) had the potential to be such a good movie but it was written in such a wrong way and it just wound up being shitty and gross........

im in such a ranty mood lately so yeah. this is long and probably incoherent so its under a read more

like if they wrote it from aurora’s perspective it couldve been such a cool space horror film. im not a big film buff so idk but i rarely see space horror moves? i see it more often in literature. but even then most space horror stories are all like, aliens and shit, but space is so vast and interesting, space horror has the capacity to be so unique and different from normal horror... aliens are basically just the demons and monsters on earth just in a different setting

space horror stories that really get me - the ones that really fucking chill me to the bone, that actually succeed in creeping me out - are always the ones that focus on being alone. space is so isolating, its so completely different from earth, like out there you are the loneliest you will ever be. you can be lonely in your bedroom but ultimately you’re on a planet with 7 billion other people, but in space, there is no one around for millions, billions, trillions of miles, hundreds and thousands of light years. you cannot get to safety. you are stuck in your situation whether you like it or not and nobody will come to help you. nobody will even know.

if your situation takes the wrong turn, then you will well and truly die alone in a way that nobody else has ever experienced before. its such a chilling concept and its completely realistic too, like i will always come back to the first moon landing when discussing this. nobody knew whether they could get the astronauts back to earth. they went down to the surface with no certainty that this place wouldnt be their deathbeds. they were the first 2 people to ever step foot on the moon, to ever step foot on a surface that wasn’t earth. if they couldnt get back up, then they would also be the first 2 people to die there, to die on a place that wasnt earth. it fucks me up so bad. so space horror is also so chilling because its plausible, this is the unknown we’re exploring and everything is new. everything in space is so far apart, its so lonely, and that fact remains true whether you’re talking about real life space travel or an event in fiction, which makes it feel way more genuine that regular horror. horror that deals with the supernatural loses that realism and it feels fake, like that wont happen to me because monsters and demons just dont exist

so you could take this conflict, one between humans, and put it into space? it becomes even more horrifying

with a horror movie set on earth dealing with a kidnapping, you root for the protagonist, for them to escape, for them to kill their captor if they must, and no matter how helpless the situation may seem you root for them because all they need to do is have access to phone to call 911, or grab that hammer and their problems are over, or kick their captor in the groin and make a break for the street. the helplessness from this story is that freedom is so close, yet so far

a horror movie set in space dealing with a kidnapping? the victim is stuck there no matter what. they can kill their captor. they could send a distress call. they could reach an escape pod and make a break for it. but no matter what, they are still stuck in space. you are so utterly isolated that a distress call could take years upon years upon eons to reach anyone who could possibly answer, and an escape pod would take even longer unless it can go at light speed

so the horror of the situation with space horror is that everything is up to you, and if you fail? its over.

with passengers though, its not that simple. because there its not just “up to you,” it is just utterly futile. jim took aurora out of her pod and no matter what she does will change that. her situation is irreversible

(i havent seen it in a while but i know towards the end there was that emergency pod, but uhm. did she even know about it until jim told her about it? yeah. that adds to the horror of it)

the film however. is written from jim’s perspective. the film deals with this isolation a bit at the beginning which i had actually enjoyed in that kinda sick oh no feeling that space horror like this always gives me. it was interesting to actually see it depicted in a movie! i’ve only read about this kinda situation in a written story in only one book, but im sure theres more out there, but either way it was novel for me

and the temptation of opening aurora’s pod is what adds to it. its either you go fucking insane because you live out the next few decades with no other human contact, you kill yourself, or you open up someone else and suffer with someone else by your side, but thats the BAD route and now you’re a horrible person. its a serious moral question! you go a whole year of being utterly, completely alone with absolutely zero human contact, but you are surrounded by other humans. its fucking painful. i cant even imagine that

i respect that portion of the film! i do! but then he opens up aurora’s pod. and it suddenly becomes a romance movie, and continues to be framed in jim’s perspective. bad move.

if we took out jim’s spiraling descent to opening up aurora’s pod, and started the film with her waking up, frame it as a romance movie, it could be really good. the reveal where she found out he is the reason shes awake, he’s the one who robbed her of life, her potential, her everything she ever knew. he’s stranded her in the middle of nowhere for the sole reason of keeping him company

the sheer impact of this revelation is lost because the movie is in jim’s perspective. we already sympathize with him due to the beginning. he was introduced first, and his suffering was obvious, so we look at aurora and its almost like we should think well thats all well and good but poor jim! but jim had the comfort that at least him waking up was just a random event. aurora was woken up because he was awake. if he was still asleep, then so would she, and she would still have her life and future. and even if someone was still randomly woken up, if it wasnt jim of all people, then she would most likely still be awake too. its all the horrible circumstances intersecting and she got caught in the crossfires due to him succumbing to his situation.

now i’m not saying that jim is evil. no one has ever been in this situation before. i really don’t know what the fuck i’d do and i don’t think anybody knows what they would do either until they were in his shoes. it’s all morally ambiguous and it’s just shitty all around - but ultimately, it was a horrible horrible decision that ruined another person’s life. he was directly responsible for her losing everything. and the fact that he hides this from her? is even fucking worse. it’s understandable, but my god is it BAD

and in making this a romance movie. the horror of aurora’s situation is just lost! because our goal is to see them kiss and fall in love by the end of the movie, so the audience isn’t meant to look to harshly at jim. he suffers no real consequences for his actions. and ultimately it is a romance, because jim ~sacrifices himself~ and aurora realizes that hey we’re gonna be here for the rest of our fucking lives, i might as well enjoy it. which is a shit attitude to have in a relationship of any kind by the way!

but by framing this as a horror movie, aurora could be wayy more sympathetic to the audience. the romantic angle when she first wakes up would feel insidious, and we would feel the betrayal when it’s revealed that jim is the reason she woke up. jim would be the villain obviously, and the moral ambiguity of his decision to wake her up would make him a relatable villain, but it would still hold him accountable for what he’s done. i just think the end product would be a lot more poignant than it was as a romance movie

and now to wrap it up, here’s my ideas on how to do it: film starts with aurora on earth before she’s about to leave, talking to all her friends and talking about how much she wants to go to this other planet, how great of an opportunity it would be. she boards the ship and goes under. and then within a few seconds, she’s waking up. the waking up scene is framed the same way jim’s was, and not from the side from jim’s perspective like it was in the actual movie. we get to see all her confusion and exhaustion from her perspective. once she’s acclimated or whatever, she’s futzing around the ship when jim stumbles upon her, acting all confused and excited to see another person, and its so genuine that nobody, including aurora, is any wiser that he’s the cause of it. then its all the romance shit, and falling in love, its fun, she’s like “oh my god it sucks that we’re stuck like this and we’re gonna die alone” and they comfort each other, yadda yadda, its meant to build trust between them and between the audience and jim. maybe theres a few scenes peppered in that build suspense like, wtf is going on, but ultimately the Jim Trust scenes kinda turn us/her away from that. but then its aurora talking to the robot guy and the robot guy lets it slip that jim was the one to wake her. it zooms into her face, and in the background you can see jim, all dark and blurred, looming over her. she goes to cry in her room or whatever, like she did in the movie, and its like flashes on previous scenes but now all the little hints to it make sense

anyway i dont have many more ideas just that at the end jim tells her about the extra pod and she goes in, and jim... hm.. maybe its vague.. maybe he lives out the rest of his days and he’s the one to leave the plants behind, maybe he died while sacrificing himself, idk. im not a horror writer. something to humanize jim, that this could’ve been anyone making this shitty decision while emotionally compromised, but still makes it clear that he was in the wrong, very in the wrong

the romance in the actual movie felt, like, poisoned because of what he did, and it rubbed me very wrong that they picked it back up all bc he was willing to die at the end to fix the spaceship. if anything, they should’ve only been friends. idk. actually focusing on aurora and her perspective feels like it could’ve taken the film in a much more interesting turn than just “standard het couple gets together in the end despite the girl being hurt by the guy” like every. fucking. movie.

#is the guy's name even jim . idk. i only know their names bc i was watching a video essay on abduction leading to romance and passengers #was an example lmfao. and then it got me tihnking abt this #delete soon

1 note · View note