#hitchhikers asks

[hitchhikers-guide-official]

help. i threw my guide down a hole. What do i do time sensitive.pkease.

Obviously, don't panic.

Next, throw yourself down the hole as well to get your Guide back. Now you have a new problem, which is that you're in a hole. Consult the Guide.

#hitchhikers asks #galaxy travel blog #interstellar travel #the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy #hitchhikers guide #h2g2

[hellsitegenetics]

The bowl of petunias quote from the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy

“Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.”

String identified: C g, t tg tat t tg t t ta a t a , t aga. a a cat tat act t ta a tgt tat a t at t at t ta .

Closest match: Gouania willdenowi genome assembly, chromosome: 3 Common name: Blunt-snouted clingfish

#tumblr genetics #genetics #asks #requests #sent to me #fish #ocean #clingfish #blunt-snouted clingfish #the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy #nothingf-i-s-h-yhere #<- url is a LIE.

[noodles-and-tea]

Have you ever seen hitchhikers guide to the galaxy movie? it has Martin Freeman in it and is soooo goooooood (a comfort movie). I’ve also heard the book is rather endearing

Of course I’ve seen it!! It’s iconic

#I quote it all the time irl #its definitely a comfort movie for me #Arthur dent is me #42 #my art #ask #the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy #Arthur dent

[bluberryfields]

Had a silly idea of combining Crowley gifs with Zaphod Beeblebrox quotes because they're my two favorite characters and I'm very weird. I think it weirdly works, though

#good omens #crowley #anthony j crowley #stupid sexy snake #zaphod beeblebrox #the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy #hhgttg #the mashup no one asked for #i wasn't high when i thought of this #so i have no excuse #i feel like they would either get along great #or hate each other's guts #sir terry pratchett #neil gaiman #douglas adams

[shanastoryteller]

Heyya just read your ask about SIAT and I’m sorry but 42 more chapters??? Or like 42 in total??

See because if it’s 42 more that’s a whole lot of beautiful plot but also I WILL wither away due to the wait.

It's a joke lol

42 is the answer to the universe

#everyone should read hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy #asks #anon

[ohbo-ohno]

God i love your puppy play stuff 😘🫡

got this ask like as soon as i posted this the other day and i've been hoarding it until i want to write pupply play again lmfao thank you for your service anon

kay tweets from today for inspo:

cw: noncon puppy play, rough sex, smidge of piss kink, ghost is mean (again) but johnny isn't as into it this time

noncon puppy play with super horny soap. wants to be with ghost sooo bad, figures it's worth behaving like a puppy if it means ghost will fuck him :(

thinks it's just name-calling at first, doesn't fully mind it when ghost calls him a horny bitch, says good job puppy. it's a little weird, but the praise feels good and the degradation makes his cock twitch

but then it's things like refusing to let soap suck his dick - pulls him back by the hair and tells him just to use his tongue, slobber over it like a proper mutt and... maybe soap doesn't like that as much. does it, because he doesn't want ghost to take his dick away from soap, but is a little tiny bit more hesitant. gets cock drunk soon after, forgets about the hesitance soon enough

it sort of escalates every time they sleep together. ghost holds a hand over his mouth when they fuck in a utility closet, mumbles in his ear about buying a muzzle for his mutt before next time and soap genuinely can't tell if he's just saying it to get off or not

learns he's not when ghost shoves him into his room, has a hand over his mouth and a gag covering it before johnny can even realize what's happened. looks up at ghost with those big shocked eyes, not fully sure what's happened. shakes his head a little, reaches up to try and get it off before ghost bats his hands away. he's smirking a little, says "don't like your muzzle, puppy?" soap just whines and shakes his head more roughly, getting a little teary. "wanna stop? wanna go back out?" ghost asks, and... well, johnny wants to fuck. doesn't like the muzzle (though he hasn't softened in his pants at all) but still wants to get railed

ghost almost always fucks him doggy style. johnny likes it (likes that ghost lets him lay on his back sometimes too, lets him know that he does still have a say) but isn't sure how he feels when ghost asks him if he wants to be "mounted" instead of "fucked"

ghost asks him to bark at one point :/ johnny's nearly finished, is whimpering and whining, gets so close and ghost locks a hand over his cock, squeezes right at the base to cut off his orgasm. says bark, dog and johnny can only make a little confused whine, can't even speak. ghost gives his cock a little tap, a harder slap when johnny moans. c'mon, puppy. bark for me and i'll let you come yeah? good boys bark, you my good boy or not?

and... and johnny is so close. so he barks. and he keeps barking when ghost's thrusts get rougher, doesn't notice he hasn't stopped until ghost pulls out and laughs a little, says alright, quiet puppy. don't make me muzzle you, and then he whines a little and buries his face in ghost's throat. hides his face in ghost's heartbeat

makes the cage as a punishment so much worse if johnny is only going along with it for ghost. feels so much worse when he's in there all alone :( cries a little, whimpers and whines with hitched breaths and begs ghost to let him out :( gets told every word he says is another hour in the cage and nearly howls, feels soooo sad, doesn't understand why ghost is being so mean to him. ghost drops a little toy bone in the cage, says chew on that to keep yourself busy. i'll be back to feed you later and just disappears. leaves johnny whining all day :(

ghost comes back, still doesn't let him out. johnny begs a little more and gets a few more hours added onto his crate time. ghost says you need the muzzle to teach you dogs don't fuckin' talk? and johnny just whimpers and shakes his head, hunches his shoulders real low. ghost hums, says good boy and feeds little bite sized pieces of food through the bars of the cage, sticks his fingers into johnny's mouth so he can lick the taste off. lets him drink nearly a whole bottle of water. doesn't let him out of the cage before he goes to sleep :(

ghost wakes up to johnny whining in the middle of the night. smirks a little before he gets up because he can guess what he's complaining about without even glancing over. sure enough, when he flicks on the light he sees poor johnny all wiggly on his knees :( hand cupped over his dick, looking up at ghost with those big puppy eyes. "what, boy?" ghost asks, standing above the cage and making his face a little mean. johnny is good, he remembers not to speak, just paws at the crate bars a little and looks all pathetic. "hm? you need the bathroom?" johnny nods enthusiastically, already shifting towards the crate door. ghost can't resist the smirk, can't resist the rush of pleasure when he says "what did you think the puppy pads were for?" and watches johnny die a little inside. smokes a quick cigarette while he watches johnny cry and make a mess of himself

pulls him out by his hands the next morning but doesn't let him stand, coos over him and strokes a hand over his mohawk. says there you are, good boy johnny. made a mess, didn't you? need your owner to clean you up, huh? gonna be good and sit still for a bath? and watches when it doesn't even occur to johnny to stand up when ghost keeps his hand on the back of his neck

pouty wet dog johnny :( looks all sad and mopey when he sits on the floor of the shower and ghost uses the shower head to spray him down. lets ghost pat him down after, leans his whole body weight into ghost's hands and just begs for comfort. gets lots of pets and treats for taking his punishment so well <3 takes a little while to start talking again

#back on my puppyplay bullshit #never left actually #im not including it in the hitchhiker fic so i need to put it SOMEWHERE #also this is a little embarrassingly long but whtvr #ghoap #ghost x soap #bo writes #asks and answers

[dirtychainsawconfessions]

Literally cannot stop thinking about picking Nubbins up alongside the road. Him getting increasingly more creepy and unhinged, you getting more and more freaked out.. but finding some sick enjoyment in it. Squirming and shifting behind the wheel, from both terror and want, to your own disgust

#suggestive #confession #Nubbins Sawyer #The Hitchhiker #The Texas Chainsaw Massacre #Texas Chainsaw Massacre #tcm #tcm 1974 #slashers #Ohhhh I like how you think 💯 #Honestly... this is also a thought I frequently consider 😎 #He'd show you stuff while you try to drive... and sort of leer at you in silence... maybe ask odd questions to see how you reply... #He's so weird and creepy but also cute and clearly enjoying himself in the most disturbingly awkward way 🤭

[oneknightstand-if]

The cast stumbles upon the serial killer MC killing one of that last 2 on the list. Cloudcuckoolander MC: OK before you say anything, I was joking about having Adrian’s last name. RO’s: YOU CAN TALK THIS WHOLE TIME?

Lorelei: *now has the MC in chokehold*

Cassandra: And lo and behold, the case of the rubber chicken murders has been solved. 🕵

Merlin: As it may be, I honestly care not as long as this doesn't impinge on your duties as a Harbinger. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Gwen: Does this feel very sus to everyone else? We're still doing this entire 'Imposter' thing, right?

Percy: Sus...

Adrian:

#Broderick: *has successfully hitchhiked 50 miles away* #Meanwhile Vivian and 404 don't give a rat's ass about what mortal the MC might've knocked off #oks-asks #oks-ROs #And Arthur is still sleeping

[lilbeangrr]

MARVIN DESIGN AT LAST

Or at least the first half, dunno when i'll move this to digital and draw him w colors (i should do that w the rest of the cast too except for ford, he got special treatment)

He's supposed to have a face but i want to experiment w different types of faces for him first, i'll do that once i draw him in digital :p

#totally did not give the antennas to resemble bunny ears #i like bunnies that is my reason if u ask #marvin #marvin the paranoid android #h2g2 #hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy #the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy #thgttg

[askthebrokenones-fm]

Why does Sinclair look like Ezra Beane?Now that I think about it: Where in backroom of madness are The Hitchhiking Ghosts anyways?

Transcript:

Sinclair: "UGH! Every time! Seriously?!"

Host: "You two do share fashion sense."

S: "HE LOOKS MORE LIKE E!!!"

H: "I think its your height."

"But yes, the Hitchhiking Ghosts... They're present and quite unalive! Follow me!"

H: "Hello, boys!"

Ezra: "Hey Hosty!"

#HITS asks #The Endless Staircase #The Host #The Field Medic #The Salesman #The Prisoner #HITS art #my art #haunted mansion fanart #haunted mansion oc #haunted mansion rp #hitchhiking ghosts #ghost host #haunted mansion

[hitchhikers-guide-official]

the dolmansaxlil galactic shoe corporation just set up a shoe intensifier ray near my planet, what should i do?

This is serious. Your planet may be approaching the Shoe Event Horizon, in which it’s only economically possible to build shoe shops. This event can be reached without the Shoe Intensifier Ray, as it draws on natural shoe insecurities inherent to many species.

Other than leaving the planet altogether or evolving into birds, you have two choices. One is to succumb to the Dolmansaxlil Corporation, which will result in a planet covered in nothing but shoe shops, and economic and mental depression (see Brontitall).

The other is to lead a rebellion. Gather your sturdiest and most comfortable pairs of shoes that you already own, and do not buy more. Resist the tempation of shoes no matter what, and instruct your neighbours to do the same. If possible, evolve into birds.

#hitchhikers asks #galaxy travel blog #interstellar travel #the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy #hitchhikers guide #h2g2 #dolmansaxlil co #shoe event horizon

[professional-termite]

The Hitchhiking Ghosts Hitchhiking their way to the museum to haunt the place to play pranks? 👀😅👻🎃

i would have made a comic but im lazy and theres also like 6 other asks i need to do so heres the sillies being silly

#asks #ask #haunted mansion 2023 #disney haunted mansion #haunted mansion movie #haunted mansion #hitchhiking ghosts #the hitchhiking ghosts #ezra the skeleton #phineas the traveler #gus the prisoner

[potato-lord-but-not]

Call me conceited but I think Douglas Adams was wrong about his interpretation of Ford Prefect in the South Bank Show. I know it's insane to say this because. Ford is literally his character and all. But either he interpreted his own character wrong, or he didn't write him how he meant to. Because, according to Douglas Adams, Ford is the kind of character who never has to learn anything and is always one step ahead without even having to try. But that's not Ford. Ford is a bumbling idiot (at times) who, admittedly, doesn't learn anything and doesn't really have to try, but not because he's always one step ahead. He's just incredibly lucky. Things just work out for him. He just stumbles into solutions and acts like they were his plan all along. But he never really has a plan. He's just obscenely lucky.

! this came out of nowhere but alright go off

#I like to think it’s the autism #like he doesn’t know Important things but he does Know Things #which somehow helps more when going on space hitchhiking adventures #also he just doesn’t care that much #like sure he could be on top of things (👀) and know a ton of useful knowledge #but he just DOESNT give a shit at all #ask

[strange-doll-child]

Gus is on the ceiling again.

NOOO OH GODDAMMIT

#heqjbzjwh #ask #anon ask #thanks for the ask #hitchhiking ghosts #gus

[quaranmine]

Hi yeah its me again, sorry for the spam, not my fault you made cool and inspiring stuff. This time actually, i couldnt help myself and have made a short crackpodfic of an alternative universe which is basically 'AU where Mumbo is frolicking in the wild and Grian doesnt exist cause itd be too sad for him to do so, so hes gone.' Its stupid, ist badly written (literally my first ever creative writing work other than a 300 word school asignment) but like idk. if you dont want to or cant read it (cause its so bad and burns your eyes out) you can just not read it xd idc honestly but decided to maybe give you the choice of reading it or not. Excuse my weird and unusual ways of writing dialougue and monolouges This is part 1 of 3

Jellie meowed cutely, demanding for food most likely just as a familar figure walked into his cabin. —Oh Hello Cub! It's wonderful to see you again! How was the trail, you're earlier than usual, no? — Scar exclaimed happily, looking at the sweaty man now standing before him. The air was hot, the many glass windows of the watchtower could make a great greenhouse. The open windows allowed for a warm flow of the early summer's air to pass by and refresh the mostly closed space. —Hey hey. Yeah the traffic was better than usual, but there was more sand in on the trail today. I think it could be the Sahara desert dust that was supposed to get carried in with the wind. — Cub said, taking his backpack off and pulling out a rag to wipe his head off. No matter how many times he hikes through this trail it never gets much easier. — Oh, Cub. The Sahara desert was blowing on Europe! And also it's the 80s and this specific situation you're referencing is gonna happen in late March of the year 2024! That's at least 35 years into the future! —Oh yup I forgot. Sorki bout that —Cub, you silly silly man! — Scar said in a singsong tone. Both of them started laughing and looked straight into the readers eyes, smiling.  Hi reader they both thought and went back to laughing looking at each other. — Actually, Scar, while hiking I heard some tourists talking about some newfound cryptid roaming these parts, what's up with that? – Eh nothing special, some bikers saw a 'humanoid lanky bugman' or something. — The man said — I've seen it all over, people come, they see a black bear or a deer in the shadow and think it's a newfound species. But honestly! I gotta give credit to the bikers relating said encounter cause the guys were better than most at storytelling! The missing food cans, rustling in the bushes all around them, the feeling of being watched.. Truly creepy stuff! And then — Scar took in a breath, talking so much in one long exhale left him almost dizzy —the moment when they saw it fully...They described it as 'particularly lanky with black fur' and something about purple-pinkish fingertips as well as residue on its paleish naked face with a weirdly shaped snout. 'Like a Walrus' they said! A crazy comparison for a bear, but you know, human mind can do wonders! — Scar clapped at the last statement and closed his eyes smiling charmingly at his companion who was now drinking the rest of his water.. After a while, comfortable silence filled the watchtower as both of the men enjoyed eachothers company. Jellie was now purring against scars leg and promptly jumped on his lap demanding more pets as Cub had finally spoken up — Any new paintings done in the meantime? I don't recognise these two, are they new or recycled? — He asked, curiosity clear in his voice, lookin at the, indeed, two new paintings decorating the cabin. One of them depicting a landscape with a sunset. From where Cub was sitting, he could watch the same, now hidden under an overcast, mountains and trees. The other painting was of a group of three tufted titmice sitting on a branch. Cub took out his American bird field guy and read a couple of paragraphs to scar on what kind of bird has he drawn exactly. It's weird that he saw these birds cause apparently they don't live in that part of the US! Crazy.

HELPPPPP this is completely insane the best way, thank you. Love that Grian doesn't exist here because it'd be too sad for him. Love the fever-dream quality to the writing. In all the best ways you're taking me back to the crack fics I'd read on ff.net in 2013, it's great. Love the breaking the fourth wall abou the Sahara dust and the (assuming) European birds. You've got a certain hint of Douglas Adams flavoring happening with the switching to an "above" perspective for a moment to give a wry little fourth-wall comment.

Mumbo Jumbo, new forest cryptid. I can see it. If Hermitcraft!Mumbo eats redstone, do you think forest cryptid!Mumbo would eat like...rocks??? dlfjskfljslkfs

#i was ignoring this on purpose i promise i just wanted to sit down to read + respond #this was very funny thank you #hc_firewatch_au #quara asks #ngl your writing here reminds me a bit of my first chapter draft of my hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy au #wherein (former) ceo mumbo of boatem says something about 'work from home being the future' #before essentially remembering none of them work from home because. well. it's boatem.

[whosname]

Here's the playlist for my Joi4 goes karaoke series

Disclaimer: I've never in my life done a playlist for any character on any fandom I've been. I think I've never been into something like I've been with Gintama, and I've been obsessed about a lot of stuff. Bear with me?

In the order I drew 'em:

Zura (includes change of costumes, make up, light and smoke show, inflatable back dancers, fake duets) Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler Wuthering Heights by Kate Bush You Don't Bring Me Flowers by Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond Olvídame y pega la vuelta by Pimpinela

Tatsuma Super Rad! by The Aquabats Intergalactic by The Beastie Boys Starman by David Bowie

Gintoki (he has to be drunk enough. also, remember he's very tone deaf) CHA-LA HEAD CHA-LA (Dragon Ball Z opening) Pegasus Fantasy (Saint Seiya opening) Drunken Lullabies by Flogging Molly The State Of Massachusetts by Dropkick Murphys In a parallel world were he's more musical Common People by Pulp Súbete a mi Moto by Menudo

Takasugi (includes shamisen solo + crazy fans in the back) No Children by The Mountain Goats I Can't Decide by Scissor Sisters Girl's Not Grey by AFI (obligatory emo track) Y yo No Bailo by El Pez (Menudo cover. I feel like if Sugi's gonna sing it, he would prefer to sing this more rock n' roll version)

I also added some b-sides for a lot of extra characters

Kagura and Shinpachi Never Ending Story Theme Song by New Found Glory (huge fan of this cover) Growing Up by The Linda Lindas (This has to be the youngest song here)

Diamond Perfume (Tae, Kyuubei kun, Sacchan and Tsukki) No Controles by Flans (BANGER ALERT even if you don't know Spanish)

Zenzo Mamma Mia by Abba (Let's be real. He loves romcoms)

Bansai Police on My Back by The Clash (I bet Zura'll join him)

Matako Soy Rebelde by Attaque 77 (Banger of a cover)

Hasegawa The Science Of Selling Yourself Short by Less than Jake

Tama Still Alive by Jonathan Coulton

Yamazaki Sabotage by The Beastie Boys (Zaki DREAMS to be like the two police men of the video)

Sogo Skullcrusher Mountain by Jonathan Coulton

Oboro I Palindrome I by They Might be Giants

Shoyo and Utsuro (in the weirdest duet) My Evil Twin by They Might be Giants

#gintama #joi4 goes karaoke #holy crap this is a very weird playlist #been thinking about this a lot #easy brain we really need a break #if anyone asks my karaoke songs were Zankoku na Tenshi no Te-ze (ya know from Evangelion) and So Long and Thanks for All the Fish #(from the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy movie) #sorry i don't use spotify soooo youtube link