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astranva · 2 years

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Tea & Confrontations

Word Count: 6.2k

Category: Angst, fluff-ish, but mostly angst

Warning: swear language

Summary: A mutual friend, and an inside source spills exclusive tea about your and Harry’s relationship, breakup, and your relationship with Joe Keery, and Joe confronts Harry.

a/n: this is set further down in time and not in October of 2022 for the sake of the fic’s timeline. let me know what you think! this is a long one x

Backstage Girlfriend Masterlist

Some days, you had found yourself regretting your choice of profession. Surely working as anything but a creative director, commonly known as Production Designer in the film industry–one who was successful and known as well–and having a circle of people who were in the entertainment industry wouldn’t have made you and Harry meet. Surely it was your profession. Surely it was the circle of big names and not-so-big ones that had your paths crossing years ago. Surely if it weren’t for it, you would have been getting over a breakup with an accountant or business developer of some sort, and only then, nobody would have given two shits about your breakup.

But that wasn’t the case.

And while you had had your days, meeting Joe had proved that everything worked out for the best.

“I was thinking that we might need to change Flo’s position for this shot.”

It wasn’t everyday that someone could be sitting next to one of Hollywood’s best directors, Christopher Nolan, but as the supervising production designer on his new movie, Oppenheimer, you were.

“The lighting on her face is coming from that side,” you pointed, “And if we have her on the other side, it’s more fitting to the mood.”

Nolan nodded along, looking at his screen in front of him, “Yeah, yeah, I see it,” he said, “Florence, can you stand on the left instead?” He called.

Working on one of the most anticipated movies with an incredible cast and crew, you were almost sleepless. As someone whose job was one between a Producer and a Director, your mind seemed to always be racing with the designs you worked on for the film, the budgeting, the storyboards, making sure all the teams you were working with were going according to plan—you loved your job, but saying you were busy would be an understatement.

It was why it wasn’t something you had anticipated nor wished for when the internet seemed to suddenly go crazy.

It was a rare day off when it happened, to your own bad luck and misfortune.

At 9 a.m., Joe had woken up before you, being gentle as he kissed your hair as you slept, overcome with the feeling of happiness that you were finally getting some sleep and rest, even if it was just for a day.

Time seemed to be dragged before Joe checked his phone that he had silenced before bed to make sure neither of you, and especially you, was disturbed.

Along with a few frantic texts from his friends, it was one of his sisters’ texts that he saw first:

Carolina: Don’t let Y/N come near her phone!!!

Caroline: Deux Moi released a podcast with an “exclusive source” that leaked everything about her previous relationship and yours

Caroline: Do NOT let her see this!

Carolina: https://www.hellomagazine.com/celebrities/20221002153091/harry-styles-exclusive-tea-yn-yln/

“Fuck,” Joe said under his breath, his shoulders slumping as he sat down, opening the link his sister sent him.

“Holivia was a stunt and Harry isn’t over Y/N”, says exclusive source about Harry Styles & ex, Y/N Y/L/N, on Deux Moi podcast and much more!

Joe only skimmed through the article, eyebrows furrowed as muscles tense as he decided to click on the link to the podcast, choosing to listen for himself.

“Today we have someone, let’s call them Kyle, and I feel like you guys will like this one,” the distorted voice of Deux Moi said, “I’ve been getting asked about Harry and Olivia, and about Harry and his ex, Y/N Y/L/N and her and Joe for so, so long now, and I always said I didn’t know so much about what actually went down. Like, I wasn’t sure if the things you all sent was truthful or just total cap, but Kyle here is an exclusive, you guys. Hey, Kyle.”

“Hey, hey, how are you?”

“I’m doing good, doing great. First of all, I’m really excited to talk about this because—Gosh, it’s what everyone has been talking about for so long and people are dying to know, so you’re literally going to end everyone’s misery.”

Kyle chuckled, “When I reached out to you, I actually had that in mind. Like, I just felt like I have been sitting on this one.”

“Yeah, thank you so much for reaching out,” the voice of Deux Moi said, “First of all, let’s start talking about Harry and Y/N. Do we have a timeline?”

“Yeah, so,” Kyle began, “Harry and Y/N met back in 2018.”

“Oh my God.”

“Yeah, there were some mutual friends and I was one of them, and we were all there for his last show on his first tour then we went backstage, and let me get this straight,” they paused, “That was literally love at first sight.”

“Shut up, no way!”

“When I tell you Harry couldn’t keep his eyes off of Y/N, I seriously mean it,” they said, “Y/N is shy. Like, she has a lot of friends and she’s, like, the sweetest person ever but the moment you meet her, she’s just shy and sweet and Harry off stage is exactly like that, but that night, he was trying so hard to talk to her, like just her, and he was blushing and she was, like, very flustered and all, and we all knew that we basically have some setting up to do.”

“Neither of them was in any relationship at the time?”

“No,” they answered, “Just two single people who basically had the hots for each other. So, that night, Harry and his bad and, like, everyone else, were all going out to celebrate the tour coming to an end and all and obviously we were all invited, but I remember he directly went to Y/N and he was like, “I’ll see you there, right?” and we were all just absolutely swooning.”

“This is everyone’s dream. Like imagine Harry Styles wanting to see you.”

“Exactly, exactly,” they agreed, “But Y/N wasn’t just starstruck with him because he’s a celebrity, you know? I don’t even know how to describe it but they moment they met, they just really clicked.”

“This is so cute.”

“Right?”

“So what happens next?”

“Well we go out and we party, and they dance together, they talk, and it basically looks like they’re on a date and everyone could see it. They exchanged numbers that night,” Kyle spilled, “So then like a couple of days later, we all go out for brunch.”

“Like, the friend group?”

“Yeah, we all basically decided that we needed to set them up so we were, like, set it into action at that point. So we all went out and they were just—there’s some shy flirting, you know? They were just talking and having a conversation all evening.”

“This feels like a fairytale.”

“We all placed our bets on them, honestly,” they said, “Anyway, we all met up more times after that, like two or three times, but I feel like—like it all just, sort of blossomed when we all went on a trip to Italy together, and I can’t tell you how absolutely smitten they were. They had their first date there,” Kyle said.

“No way!” The voice of Deux Moi gasped, “This is so adorable. Is that why it seems like Italy is like, so close to Harry? Like, it feels like he just goes there to relax and that it’s like his getaway of some sort.”

“Italy was their country, honestly,” they said, “Like they had their first date there, and then they later had so many vacations there, I feel like it was like their safe haven or something.”

“This is so adorable, I can’t. I literally can’t.”

“Right? Anyway, fast forwarding a bit, they were just so adorable together. Like, their relationship at that point was the perfect example of puppy love. Harry was the happiest we’ve ever seen him, Y/N was the happiest, everything was going so well.”

“When did they make it official?”

“It took them some time,” they answered, “Y/N met Harry’s family before they actually made it official. I think she met them around Christmas time and Harry just told us about how his family absolutely adored her,” they said, “But they made it official in 2019, first day of the year.”

“First of January?”

“Yup,” Kyle answered, “I can’t even begin to describe how they both were literally glowing at that point. They were just so in love, it was crazy.”

“Wait, so they were together for how many years before they broke up, again?”

“Three years.”

“Three years!”

“Three whole years, yeah,” Kyle repeated, “And everyone loved them together, and at the time, we all understood that they wanted to be private, because you know how things get with the fans and the media and all. But the fans, you know, they saw her and were beginning to join some dots but I think at some point, everyone assumed they were just friends because they were never really touching or kissing in the pictures, but I remember our friends talking about how much the fans loved Y/N.”

“You know, I get some sightings of Y/N, and it’s always with, like, the cutest stories. Like people telling me she’s so respectful, she’s cute, she’s nice, is big on tips, and all that, so I get why fans would love her,” the voice of Deux Moi said, “And I think I remember getting some messages about her getting fans concert tickets and merch.”

“She always did that,” Kyle confirmed, “I think that—Y/N is just a very humble and simple person, and I think she has always realized that with her place in the industry, she does have some privilege, right? Especially when she was Harry’s girlfriend and all, so she just really liked doing these things,” they said, “Like she always told him to get more in touch with his fans, and I think there were some arguments about ticket and merch pricing and all.”

“Wow, really?”

“Yeah, I think that’s why the fans loved her. You always pick up that vibe, you know? When someone is being real.”

“True. That’s so true,” Deux Moi agreed, “But—where did it all go wrong? I think it all went bad with the hate and all after Harry’s song got leaked. I remember that—she was getting so much hate. You know what? No, don’t answer that right now, we’ll get to it.”

Kyle chuckled, “Yeah, let’s take it one step at a time,” they said.

“Alright so, Holivia? That’s—That’s also the tea.”

“Oh, it’s hot,” Kyle laughed, “It’s very hot tea.”

“Right? Because I feel like from what you’re saying, Harry and Y/N, they were—they were endgame.”

“They really were,” they said, “But then Harry got the Don’t Worry Darling role and that’s when things went south,” they began, “Look, publicity stunts and scandals happen all the time. It’s a classic for a reason, too. It always works.”

“I agree.”

“So in 2020, there were talks about the stunt. Basically that Harry and Olivia start going out and all, and Y/N was—She was literally crushed when Harry said he was going to think about it.”

“She didn’t think he’d do it?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Kyle answered, “Obviously, she’s in the industry and she knows that these things happen all the time but when you’re in her position, it’s—it’s not so easy. But she was very supportive of his career and, like, respected his decisions and everything because she knew that he wouldn’t—like, he wouldn’t disrespect her, you know?”

A hum.

“Anyway, Harry agreed to it and he had conditions set. Like, he wanted it to still be lowkey and to, like, keep it on the minimum.”

“That’s not really how it goes,” Deux Moi joked.

“It’s not how it goes,” Kyle repeated.

“Did Y/N at any point—Or her and Harry, did they ever consider going public?”

“Y/N wanted that,” Kyle answered, “She’s mostly also private, but she just wanted everyone to know that they’re a couple, you know?”

“Yeah, nothing wrong with that. I’d want people to know that Harry Styles and I are together, too.”

Kyle laughed, “Right? But it was because—They’re both attractive people, so you have people shooting their shot at them all the time and at some point, it was a little hurtful to Y/N how she had to stay, like, very discreet about her relationship. It felt like a secret, you know?”

“Like she was hidden.”

“Exactly, exactly. And that’s just—It’s not fun and it does things to your mental health. Like, you start thinking.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“So anyway, the stunt was supposed to be short-term, but everything was just super intense. Shit mostly went down during Jeff and Glenne’s wedding.”

“Jeff is Harry’s manager, right?”

“Yeah,” they answered, “So when you’re in a relationship, obviously your plus one is you girlfriend, your boyfriend, like, your partner, right?”

“Yeah?”

“Y/N was asked to not attend with Harry and to, like, blend in.”

“No. Fucking. Way.”

“Swear,” Kyle assured, “Just so Harry and Olivia can make their debut as a couple.”

“Oh. My. God.”

“I know.”

“I think I felt my heart break,” Deux Moi said, “Are you kidding me?”

“I wish,” Kyle said, “We were all so worried about Y/N because she was literally crushed. Like, oh my God, I can’t even begin to describe it. Like, to the point that she wasn’t going to attend the wedding if it weren’t for Glenne insisting.”

“And how was it?”

“She was so anxious that day, and I think—I think that’s when Y/N really began doubting herself. Like, at that point, the relationship was making her feel like shit and she felt like—You know, she felt like she just wasn’t worthy of being Harry’s girlfriend, that maybe she wasn’t good enough for his image, all that talk.”

“Poor woman, I feel like crying right now,” Deux Moi gasped, “And how was Harry dealing with it?”

“Look, I can’t believe I’m saying that but I feel like there was just so much manipulation happening? I don’t know, I don’t know, because Harry really did love Y/N. He—Actually, he still does. Like he’d be agreeing to all that stunt shit then be the good boyfriend to Y/N so to her, it sort of felt like she didn’t really have the right to complain. Like he’d tell her that it was basically work, that he loves her, that it’ll all end soon, and she, you know, she took it all in and tried to go on with it to be a supportive girlfriend.”

“This is literally a toxic relationship.”

“Which is so sad! It’s so sad, because—because they really did love each other so much,” Kyle said.

“Still toxic,” Deux Moi said, “Did Olivia know? About Harry and Y/N?”

“Yeah, yeah, she did,” Kyle answered, “And I’ve seen some people say that she was mean to Y/N and stuff, but that’s not true. They were both actually respectful towards one another.”

“Y/N is way better than I can be, because I don’t know how I’d act with Olivia if I were her.”

“We were all so shocked, but if this proves anything, it just proves how above and beyond Y/N was willing to go for her relationship—for Harry.”

Deux Moi hummed, “Then what happens?”

“Y/N did tell Harry about how uncomfortable the situation is. Like, he knew, but you know, he’d always assure her and all. But then,” they enunciated, “Harry missed her birthday for a sighting, with Olivia.”

A gasp was heard, “No fucking way. No way, are you kidding?”

“I wish I were,” Kyle said, “But I remember we were all trying to plan a night out and one of us told her that, like, Harry better leave the night for us to celebrate her and all, and she was like, “Oh, he’s not going to be here all day”, and we were like “What?” and she just said “He just has things to deal with and do” and then later, we find some pictures, like papped pictures of Harry and Olivia and everyone was like “Oh.””

“I’m so shocked right now. I literally don’t know what to say.”

“Yeah. We celebrated her birthday that night and she just—she just wasn’t happy, you know?”

“Yeah, can you blame her? Who can blame her?”

“Exactly,” Kyle agreed, “But then, like a day later, Harry made it up to her by taking her to the Amalfi Coast.”

“But is that even worth anything?”

“That’s what we were saying. Like, he missed her actual birthday, and for what? But Y/N was—she was still appreciative. In a way, she was just constantly convincing herself that it’s his work after all,” they said, “But then—”

“I’m always scared of what follows that.”

Kyle laughed, “It’s bad, alright? I wasn’t kidding when I told you earlier that it’s a sad story.”

“Oh you definitely weren’t.”

“Yeah so, you know these pictures of Harry and Olivia? When they were kissing on a yacht?”

“Oh yeah, know those. Kissing on a yacht is a classic when it comes to these stunts, I’m surprised they still do it.”

“Right?” Kyle laughed, “Yeah, after those Y/N was like—she was just reaching the breaking point, you know? She asked for space. It wasn’t necessarily a break, but just—just some space, and Harry respected it and he gave her space but he was like—he sent her flowers, sent her some letters, you know, stuff like that.”

“If it weren’t for the context, I would’ve said that was cute.”

“Right,” they chuckled, “But like, soon after, they went out for brunch and we all were—we were literally celebrating it because to us, that relationship—it was like you said, it was endgame. They were our favorite couple, so we were glad to see them working. But they got so much shit for that brunch date because there were paps and Harry’s management was, like, having none of it. Like they didn’t want Y/N in the picture when Olivia was in it.”

“That’s—Oh my God, that’s so fucking brutal.”

“Absolutely brutal. At that point, we all were sort of distancing ourselves from Harry. Everyone was trying to stay neutral, but we knew what was happening and it was just hurtful seeing what Y/N was going through,” they said, “So back to how Y/N loved interacting with the fans—they wanted her to stop that.”

“They wanted her to stop interacting with the fans?”

“Yeah, like to just cut it because it wasn’t good for Holivia but Y/N—she was like, no, you’re Harry’s management, you’re not mine.”

“Yes. Queen.”

“We were so proud of her!” Kyle exclaimed, “We were so proud,” they repeated.

“I feel like I’m proud of her and I don’t even personally know her.”

“Right? Right?” They laughed, “So yeah, she was just still interactive with fans over Twitter and like, Instagram comments and stuff.”

“She’s private on Instagram, right?”

“Yeah, she is,” they said, “But she’d always like some posts, comment on some stuff, stuff like that. She didn’t do it a lot, but it was still something she enjoyed—she still does it.”

“That’s so sweet.”

“I’m telling you, she’s—she’s just amazing.”

“So now, that’s when? Like was that nearing the breakup?”

“That was, like, months before their third anniversary,” Kyle answered, “So they celebrated their third year together and things were going fairly well—like, as good as it can get, at least. Until Harry’s show in Brixton, in May. The One Night Only show.”

“He had two, right?”

“Yeah, one in the UK, in Brixton, and the other in New York,” they answered, “They actually broke up on that day.”

“The one in Brixton?”

“Yeah. I wasn’t there for that one, but basically what happened was that—You know, Y/N was super supportive of Harry’s career. Like, she was his biggest fan and was literally the muse for all his love songs—like so many in Fine Line, and basically all of Harry’s House. Harry’s House is literally her album,” they said, “And I bet the next one as well but, anyway—so, she was there, of course. She was so excited to see him perform his new album, she basically was going on and on about how proud she was of him, how excited she was.”

“I’m so scared right now.”

“And then she was asked to stay backstage during the show.”

“Like—Like, not watch him from the crowd?”

“Yeah. His mom was there, his sister was there, so many of his friends—of our friends, everyone was going to stand there and actually watch him from the crowd but it was just Y/N that was told to stay back.”

“You have to be kidding.”

“I’m not. I wish,” they said, “But she was told to just, stay back and basically give her spot to Olivia,” Kyle said, “And Harry was—He was actually, like, okay with it.”

“No.”

“Yeah,” they confirmed, “You know, told her things like, it was just for a day, you’ll still get to see me, et cetera, et cetera, and she was just so broken at that point. So she stayed back, she watched him for like, some time, then she just left.”

“Like, left him?”

“She left the arena, yeah, and she called one of our friends and she was just—she was like, hysterically crying, like sobbing, and she was like, ‘I can’t do this anymore’. And nobody could blame her. So she just, like, went back, and packed her stuff. Then Harry caught her, like before she left, and she broke up with him.”

“For good?”

“Yeah, they never went back together after that,” they said, “And for the longest time, Y/N was devastated. It’s because—when you’re in a relationship, it’s like an investment. Like you invest with your time, with your energy, your efforts, your—your mental health, everything, and in a way, it felt like Y/N lost.”

“And what about Harry?”

“Look, Harry will never love anyone the way he loves Y/N, period,” they said, “He’s still not over her, he’s still not over their relationship, still not over what he’s done. He’s still, like, constantly beating himself up for it.”

“I can’t say I feel too bad, honestly.”

“It’s Karma in a way, I guess.”

“But how did he take it when Y/N got into a new relationship? Because Y/N and Joe Keery have been a hot topic ever since they got together.”

“God, he was absolutely crushed,” they said, “Joe is a great guy. He’s a great, great guy. He treats Y/N so well, puts her first, supports her, defends her. He’s—He’s basically the boyfriend Y/N truly deserves and Harry sees that.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t too far ago when he defended her on Instagram after Harry’s song about her got leaked.”

“Yeah, he’s just—he’s incredible.”

“Do you know when they met?”

“They met in 2021 if I remember correctly. They had a mutual friend, I think it was a creative director or something who worked on Stranger Things. And Joe had the biggest crush on her back then,” Kyle answered.

“Yeah, yeah, I remember he said that in an interview.”

“Yeah, and then they met again in, like, early 2022 as well, then after the breakup, like, I don’t know three months later, they went out for some coffee, then it was just—like really casual for a while even though Joe was smitten, but Y/N didn’t want to rush anything.”

“Can’t blame her.”

“Yeah, nobody can. So yeah, they took their time and everything.”

“But Harry’s not over her.”

“Harry’s not over her,” Kyle confirmed.

“God, that was heavy.”

It wasn’t long before Deux Moi and their guest moved to another celebrity gossip, making Joe pause before he stared at his phone for a few moments.

Everything was out in the open.

Between your sleeping state and Joe’s stressed one, was Harry who now seemed to get only bad news from his manager and friend, Jeff.

Going on social media was like a nightmare.

Not only was Harry getting cancelled, but so were Olivia and Jeff, while supportive messages, tweets, and edits were being sent your way.

“We owe Y/N an apology” was among the trends, sitting right on top of the 4 other relevant trending topics about you. After it came “#HarryStylesIsOver”, “Y/Noe”, “Holivia”, and “Thank you deuxmoi”.

The latter was a surprise to everyone, but never did anyone guess that a day would come where people would thank the celebrity gossip platform.

user

nobody believed me when I said y/n and harry were together and that he fucked her over. fuck harry, fuck olivia, fuck jeff, and fuck dwd.

user

Imagine your worst mistake being that you trusted the person you loved the most. #HarryStylesIsOver

user

WE OWE Y/N AN APOLOGY? NO! YOU owe her an apology because some of us still stuck by her side and knew that she wasn’t the evil guy in this. now yall wanna talk

user

idk who “kyle” is but thank you

user

I TOLD YOU HOLIVIA WAS FAKE!!! I TOLD YOU YNRRY WAS REAL!!!!

Countless of tweets, some angry, some sad, some supportive were being added by the second and Joe found himself growing nervous for when you woke up.

It was inevitable for you to wake up. A day of sleeping one was one you appreciated, and even more so after you freshened up and were ready for a day of doing absolutely nothing but chill with your boyfriend.

“Good morning,” you said, taking notice of Joe flinching on the couch, causing you to giggle, “Sorry.”

Joe forced a smile, standing up and meeting you halfway to press his lips to yours as he wrapped one arm around your waist, his other hand going into your hair to bring your head closer to his. Pulling back, you smiled, “Okay then,” you joked.

“Good sleep?”

You hummed, wrapping your arms around him in a hug as you closed your eyes in bliss, “So good.”

“You deserve it,” he said, kissing your head, “What do you want to have for breakfast?”

“I don’t know, anything,” you answered, “Some scrambled eggs sound nice.”

“And buttered toast?”

“And buttered toast.”

“Avocados?”

“God, I love you,” you shook your head with a smile, leaning to kiss him again, “Let me just grab my phone a-“

“Let’s not,” Joe quickly said.

Your eyebrows furrowed, a smile of confusion on your face.

“I just—I figured—We can just—We can disconnect for the day, how does that sound?” He asked, “Leave our phones, turn them off, just-just enjoy your break.”

You stayed quiet for a moment, tilting your head as you looked at him.

“You’re hiding something,” you said.

“No, I’m not.”

“Then why are your cheeks and ears all pink?” You raised an eyebrow, “What’s going on?”

“Is it too bad that I want us to be together without any distractions? Without any—”

“Joe.”

He pursed his lips, avoiding eye contact as he looked at the ceiling for a moment.

“What’s going on?” You asked again.

A sigh escaped his lips before he looked at you, “Someone—Someone you know just—” He paused.

You raised an eyebrow again, “Just what? Did someone die? Joe, oh my God, di—”

“No, no, nobody’s dead, baby. Everyone’s fine. Everyone’s okay,” he assured.

“Okay, then what is it?”

“Well, um,” he cleared his throat, “Uh, someone—you know,” he shrugged.

“I don’t.”

“How do they say this?” He muttered, scratching his chin, “Someone spilled the tea?”

“The tea?” You asked, “What tea?”

“Someone went on a podcast and they—they basically said every single thing about your past relationship. Your relationship with Harry.”

You stayed quiet, eyebrows going up, “Oh.”

“Oh,” Joe nodded.

“Everything?”

“From the moment you met,” he said quietly.

“Oh,” you repeated.

“Yeah,” he nodded unsurely, “I’m—I’m really sorry, baby. I’m so, so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you said quietly, “It’s not your fault. It’s—It’s nobody’s fault,” you added, “Who did that?”

“It was a guy, I think? Went with the name Kyle, like a pseudonym, but I don’t know. They could’ve distorted the voice, could be anyone.”

You hummed.

Joe looked at you, trying to asses your state before asking, “How are we feeling?”

“I’m not so surprised, honestly,” you answered, “I’m just—I’m so done with this, you know? I don’t know. I think—I think I just don’t care anymore.”

He nodded, rubbing your back soothingly, “I get it,” he said, “Do you want to address it?” He asked, “You know, they’re—everyone’s sending you support, some cute shit.”

“No, I won’t. I won’t address it,” you answered before sighing, “You know what I want?”

“What?”

“That scrambled eggs, the buttered toast, and those fucking avocados.”

To you, the day went well, and you knew that a huge reason why was that you did actually decide to take Joe’s advice and not check your phone. Instead, you and Joe had cooked breakfast and lunch together, had watched Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and decided to order takeout for the night.

To Joe, his mind was restless.

In a way, he felt like he needed to do something. Sure, he posted about you, he liked standing up for you, and he absolutely loved being a total sap on main—publicly and openly loving you, but something didn’t feel right.

He was smiling all night, loving on you and laughing with you, but his mind was all over the place. It wasn’t until you were asleep in his arms that he did what he felt was right.

Opening Instagram, he never had thought that he’d be the one to type in “harry styles” in the search bar and tap on your ex’s profile, but that was what he did before he also tapped on “Message”.

Strange enough, Joe was calm as he typed in his text:

Hey, Harry. I was hoping we can meet up soon to talk.

And stranger enough, was that his text was seen no more than 2 minutes after he sent it.

5 minutes passed before Joe received a reply.

Hello. Sure. When and where?

Joe then replied:

I’m currently in New Mexico but I’ll be in LA on Tuesday. Would that work for you?

And as if Harry had no idea that Joe was with you as you worked on Oppenheimer, he replied back:

Yes, I’m staying in LA for the time being. Tuesday works well.

Joe replied:

Great. We can meet at 6pm at my house since it’s the most private.

Harry then replied:

Okay. Is this about the recent podcast?

Joe replied:

Yes and no.

Harry replied:

Does Y/N know about this?

Joe replied:

No, she doesn’t.

Harry replied:

Okay. Send me the location and I’ll see you then.

Harry would have been lying if he said he wasn’t nervous, because of course he was. As someone who got into the acting world, scenarios ran through his mind like the ones he was offered; Joe was going to beat him up, or he was going to blackmail him, or he was going to tell him that Harry was the best choice for you and that didn’t seem like the worst scenario, although a cliché.

Days seemed to fly, or so it seemed to both Harry and Joe. The meeting was one that was discreet with neither’s friends knowing about it, even as Harry rang the doorbell to yours and Joe’s home.

Opening the door, Joe offered a very small smile, only stepping aside to let Harry in, “Come in,” he said.

Harry’s stomach was in twists; clammy palms against the sides of his thighs, erratic heartbeat that would definitely need medical attention at some point because there was no way that was normal.

“Want anything to drink?” Joe asked.

“Um, no, thank you,” Harry answered, sitting when Joe motioned towards the teal-colored couch—your favorite color on couches, although you wished you could have a cream-colored one but those seemed to be too much work, Harry remembered.

Joe sat on the chair opposite to it, a space between the two men that seemed occupied by tension and lingering awkwardness.

“Look,” Joe began, voice steady and calm, “I know this is weird. Like, really weird,” he said, “But I felt like it needed to happen.”

Harry pursed his lips, hands linked together as he looked at your boyfriend.

“I think we needed to talk, a long time ago. With how messy your relationship with Y/N was, and—and all the mess that’s been happening after it came to an end, I think I needed to talk to you,” Joe said, “Because it’s reaching a point where Y/N can’t catch her breath before something just, crashes down on her.”

Harry nodded.

“Look, I know I’m not your favorite person on earth,” Joe said, “And—No offense, you’re not mine either and I think that’s normal,” he put his hand out, “You’re her ex, I’m her boyfriend, and the situation isn’t ideal. It never really is. But I do respect you because you’re—you’re someone Y/N really appreciated at some point, and regardless of what happened, I know she still respects you and still cares about you because she’s just that kind of person.”

Harry, again, nodded.

“But I do know that with your status—with your place in the industry, you can put an end to all that,” he said, “It’s definitely hard getting over Y/N. I can’t imagine what you’re going through and I—To be honest with you, I don’t want to. I don’t want to be in your place, it’s not something I wish upon anyone, even you,” Joe said, “But I’m going to need you to just—to stop getting into her life like that. It’s not good for her, it’s not good for you, even, it’s not good for anyone.”

“How am I getting into her life?” For the first time, Harry spoke.

Joe sighed, “I know you still like her pictures on Instagram, you still—you’re not a stupid guy, Harry, you know exactly what I mean,” he said, “And like I said, I know that with your status, you can keep things on the down low. Give her some peace.”

“You know I wasn’t the person who said all these things on the podcast, right?”

“I’m not saying you are.”

“You’re—I think—I think you’re implying that I had something to do with it.”

“I never did,” Joe said, “But I do know that your management wants your name to be everywhere.”

“So, you are implying it,” Harry chuckled quietly.

“Look,” Joe took a breath, leaning forward a little, “I believe everything Y/N says, and I believed her when she told me that you aren’t your management. Your principles don’t align. I don’t know why you don’t take matters into your own hands. I don’t know whether it’s because you’re unsure, you’re scared, nervous, I don’t know, man, but what I’m saying is that you need to sit down with your management and actually set thing straight. Not for you, but for Y/N,” he said, “I get that they always say bad publicity is still publicity but we all know that’s bullshit.”

Harry stayed quiet.

“I don’t think you’re the worst person,” Joe said, “I think you do some stupid shit but I know you love Y/N and—and I can’t blame you for it and I can’t even ask you to just stop and move on, because having Y/N is one of the best goddamn gifts anyone can have.”

“Yeah, I know that,” Harry mumbled with a quiet chuckle.

“So all I’m asking is for you to talk with your management and do Y/N a favor.”

“Do her a favor or do you a favor?” Harry found himself asking, “Because I think—I think It seems like you’re trying to save your relationship.”

“There’s nothing for me to save it from,” Joe instantly said, “It doesn’t need to be saved. I’m confident in my relationship with Y/N.”

And that seemed to shut Harry up.

“What you and her had—that was real. It was great, until it wasn’t. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not gloating but I didn’t meddle in and ruin what you have. I waited and I kept my distance and things fell into place and it’s not my fault your relationship went to shit, man,” he said, “I’m trying to be nice. To be respectful, and I’m asking nicely.”

Harry stayed quiet for a moment before sucking in a breath, “Okay.”

Joe nodded slowly, “Alright.”

“Did you tell her? About this?” Harry motioned between them.

“No, I didn’t,” Joe answered, “And I won’t tell her.”

“She doesn’t really like secrets,” Harry said with a chuckle, joking.

“It’s only so that she doesn’t feel like I had to tell you to be a decent person,” Joe shot back.

Harry’s eyebrows went up, “Wow,” he nodded, “Thanks for that,” he sarcastically said.

Joe nodded, “No problem.”

“Well,” Harry let out a breath, “I’ll do what I have to do,” he said, “But um—Thank you, for being respectful.”

“Like I said, she respects you, so will I.”

#backstage girlfriend #backstage gf!yn #harry styles imagine #joe keery imagine #harry styles angst imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #joe keery one shot #harry styles blurb #joe keery x reader

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caralara · 2 years

Text

Why I believe Xarry was supposed to be a stunt - and why it didn’t work out

(or: Harry’s Planned “Bisexual Coming Out” has everything to do with Babygate)

First off - this is my personal take on the matter. A lot of it is speculation. I try to give sources as much as I can. But a lot of it is just what makes sense to me. So yeah, I am not claiming this is actually what and how it happened (especially not the parts where I illustrate what I imagine they might have said, thought or felt!), I am just saying that I think this is what happened. This is gonna be long. Very long. Because I go into detail, and I venture into neighbouring territories of this subject. If you don’t have the patience for that, or want it simplified in bite sizes, here’s a Twitter thread I made months ago.

The subject itself is complex, so this post is as well. Get some snacks, some tea and/or wine, and if you’re up for it - lets get started.

Now, you ask - why a stunt though? Why can they not just be friends? We have to look at the bigger picture for this question, and also at how they appeared in the media - compared to female stunts. Please refer to these Hendall and Hamille and Holivia timelines to compare to stunt patterns. It’s pretty self explanatory, but rough oversight and commonalities between them: usually the stunt starts out on social media, following each other, being tagged together, liking posts etc, followed by sighting in a friendship group / dinner. Pap walks. Articles about being close, hanging out. Dates with “Organic Fan Sightings” in super popular spots. Wearing each other’s clothes and jewelry. Social Media engagement with friends and families. Deny deny deny when asked in interviews, dodge questions like there’s no tomorrow. Being spotted at shows by fans. Etc. Mix up at own will. You know the drill. Keep this in mind while walking through the Xarry Timeline with me.

The Friendship between Jeff and Harry

I believe that after Jeff successfully inserted himself into Harry’s close friendship circle, probably on orders from his music mogul of a father, Irving Azoff, he started to prepare everything he needed to in order to secure Harry as a solo artist and management client for the Azoffs, as it had been very clear to the trained eye that Harry held the most promises to be a global superstar after the band would break up - and everyone with an ounce of experience knew they were burning through that life force the five boys held like there was no tomorrow, trying to squeeze out all and any profit as quickly and as hard as they could while it was still possible - as they do with big famous boybands. They don’t believe you will stick around and be popular for long, but for the time being - boy oh boy, will they milk you (and the fans’ wallets).

Irving Azoff

Sounds far fetched? Unfortunately, it isn’t. The music industry is run on money, just like any other entertainment industry, and people with a lot of money usually want more. Irving Azoff is one of the most powerful people in the music industry, with decades of experience and loads of connections to almost anyone important. Here, have a quote: “In 2012, Azoff topped Billboard Magazine's Power 100, being named the most powerful person in the music industry. There were monopolization claims made against his Performance Rights Group” Doesn’t that make you go “huh?” - just to clarify. HE, Irving Azoff, who became chief executive officer of Ticketmaster in 2008, because he already was of Front Line, and has a venture with MSG Company (venue company), who founded two labels and has many more investments in many more companies in the entertainment and hospitality industry, created a performance rights organization which then had those monopolization claims brought against them in 2018, which only had been settled now in 2022. Nothing like being two steps ahead and becoming not only the boss but also the boss of the rights organization that is supposed to protect you from your very boss, isn't there? Clever and terrifying if you ask me.

Harry’s Seeding of his Solo Career

Now, back to Harry. How does someone, who can see how tightly “protected” a young boybander is by the people who all want a piece of him (and the money he makes them), and also by the people who actually fiercely care about him and just went through learning what the music industry is all about themselves, make Harry choose them to be his guide, his manager, his new trusted industry person? You get him where you know personal life and professional life blur. And what better way to gain his trust than to send your son, who was only in his late twenties at the time. A more or less young man with just enough “experience” - definitely more than Harry - to act as an older brother / friend, who can sympathize (“look - I know how it is, I hardly had a choice being in this industry world either! My dad always dragged me along, ugh, so I get it. But now I can show you how to enjoy it too, and all the tipps and tricks that you need to survive in this world!”).

So, here comes Jeff, latest in August of 2013 already, comfortable in this world that is hurting Harry a lot, but that also looks incredibly enticing to him, all the glamor, all the luxury, and offers a guiding hand (and is probably very charming and very tuned into wanting to gain Harry’s deep trust in the long run while doing so!). He’s fun, he shows Harry the world of Hollywood, maybe gives him a reprieve from management constantly breathing down his neck, and offers him an outsider’s perspective - don’t forget how lonely Harry was at this point. Louis and Harry were practically forced onto different continents as often as possible, resulting in Harry having to be separate from the other boys, and heavy stunting took place for both of them, all to combat the ever so persistent Larry rumours that endangered stacks and stacks of money that was supposed to flow from those American wallets into the label’s. It was a really tough time, the beginning of them not being allowed to interact with each other at all publicly anymore and heavy, heavy stunting (Haylor? Elounor?).

And Jeff noticed. Of course he did - he knows how the music industry works, he knows of closeting (how could he not, working in management and with a father like that?), and he noticed what a toll this took on Harry. And there he had it. He discovered what Harry wanted. What Harry yearned for: being himself in public, being allowed to be out and proud. With Louis. So Jeff waited, and observed, and gathered information. And when Harry comes to a breaking point in 2014, Jeff speaks up.

“What if… you could be out?”

At this point, Harry trusts Jeff. He’s met his family, many times, he spends a lot of time with him and his friends, he’s found even more friends through him, like Harry Lambert! And Jeff knows what’s possible in the music industry. AND he’s young, he’s ambitious, he wants to strive for a better, freer world with him (right??).

The Plan

So, Jeff proposes a plan. If they renew their contract after their five records and five tours are done with is up in the air - they definitely want to renegotiate, if not leave them behind. But until then, they have to work with their current management, to keep the label happy. Jeff is gunning for that solo career of Harry’s. So what does Jeff propose? A compromise. Harry gets to come out as bisexual, completeley regardless of his actual sexuality, gets to be a bit more free to be himself in public, and maybe a step closer to coming out with Louis, but until then - the plan needs to make sure that Larry isn’t outed in the process. Because a boyband with one “sexually ambiguous” member can be sold as “sexy, chic, trendy, modern, cool” (not my words, but what I imagine the PR agency would package it as, and yes, I know this is biphobic, and no, I don’t agree with it, and no, it’s not MY view), but have two gay members in a band, and then together, gay for each other?? Apparently that would be the death for the money machine. So that is not possible at that time, in 2014.

But how do you do it? How do you have Harry come out as not hetero, without outing Larry, as they are irrevocably linked, it seems?

Easy, Jeff says. Harry gets publicly linked to a different man, ergo has a male PR stunt, and Louis has to appear Super Straight™ for the entirety of the coming out process. How do you “proof” a man has hetreosexual sex? You have him have a baby. That’s “failsafe” proof that he is Not Gay (as if gay men have not produced children in the past smh but you know how the GP is - everything has to be simple and filable into boxes!). So Louis, who of course watched how absolutely destructive it was for Harry to have to hide away the side of him that is so brilliant, so beautiful, so Harry, and had to instead watch him scratch off his nail polish, hide his affections, become a stoic mask in public just to not give away all the affection he has for Louis, says yes - yes to publicly having a fake baby, or at least publicly “impregnating” someone, so that Harry can breathe a little better. It is worth it. It won’t take too long. There will never actually be a baby. It’ll be worth it. Worth the while, even.

So 1D management, maybe reluctantly, agrees. And Jeff takes over the reins, coincidentally already acting like Harry’s manager at this point. He has a great friend in mind, who Harry would really like, who would be up for the PR stunt, who’s a good friend of Jeff’s, someone who could be trusted with this very delicate matter. So Jeff introduces Xander Ritz to Harry. And Harry gets excited, he can almost taste that little bit more of freedom, and is ready to make this believable.

Xarry - The Stunt

So, who actually is Xander Ritz? Xander used to be a (professional?) Lacrosse player from Pennsylvania and lives in NYC, who is now the cofounder of The Loyalist Company, together with his brother Maxwell. That company is part of the distribution process for Pleasing. His father is/was a popular dentist (maybe the connection to Jeff happened here). He has had a girlfriend of the name Jacquelyn Jablonski for a couple of years now, who has her own sportswear brand which Harry was seen wearing before.

Just like with Nick, Harry seemed to hit it off with the older man right away - seeing that Xander is 11 years older than Harry.

Xander’s and Harry’s first interaction known to us is typical: it’s on social media, and it’s cryptic and not straight up in your face - Emma Greenwell, a friend, posts a photo and tags Xander and Harry both, suggesting they’re both out with her for McDonald’s after the X-Factor performance in November 2014. Shortly after, in December, they started following each other on instagram.

In February 2015, Xander posts about birthdays and a photo of him with Harry in a group - all friendly and inconspicuous. It becomes clear they have been hanging out “privately”.

Then, the first pap walk - in June. The groundwork is done, it’s established Harry and Xander have some sort of friendship/relationship. While Louis goes out “partying”, getting papped every night and just exactly (on the date) a month prior had the infamous “1 Conception” pap photo taken with Briana, who just “accidentally” was in the background of that photo, holding up his end of this big project.

So it’s time for Harry to do his own version: he flies out to NYC for one day in the middle of the EU leg of OTRA tour to go out to dinner with a group of people, including Jeff. And who is “accidentally” captured in the background of these pap shots? Yes, Xander. Ever wonder why they used the only picture in which only Harry, Jeff and Xander were easily identifiable? And why he would jet to the other continent for one day? To then look at houses with Jeff (&Xander)?

Keeping to the time table seemed to be pretty important, the week prior, Tammi Clarke had planted the seed for “Louis was just told he was gonna be a dad” with her chimp instagram photo.

Height of Party-Womaniser!Louis image and the very beginning of BBG had to be used. No matter if tour was happening - if Xander & Jeff were available that day, it had to happen.

Maybe noteworthy? After this first pap walk, Sugar Baby Bear (SBB) makes its first appearance on stage next to Rainbow Bondage Bear (RBB) the next day at OTRA Brussels.

And then we get the heavy stunting week during their break between the EU and US leg of OTRA tour, the week leading up to the pregnancy announcement and Louis’ impending fatherhood on 14th of July.

They started off on 4th of July, Harry being spotted with Xander having lunch at a popular cafe, sitting in full view easily recognisable in the outside seating area. Keep the palm tree shirt in mind for part 2!

The same day he went and got papped at the Bootsy Bellow’s Annual Red, White & Bootsy party, conveniently in full view again leaning on the balcony, all cosied up with Xander. Several gossiping sites got “receipts” of Harry being solely focussed on “his company” during this party and having zero interest in anyone else, even girls approaching him, and articles that were published of this event all only showed him with Xander while simultaneously mentioning his love for girls (without mentioning him by name - yet. Sounds familiar? Yep, that’s how they introduced Briana into the picture as well. Just a bit more on the nose with “mystery blonde” - but that was a het relationship they tried to sell, not a coming out.) (also does that not look a lot like the person from Louis' We Made It music video??)

All throughout the week, we got many more “organic fan spottings” of them at popular food places, pap shots, just the two of them or with Jeff, as well as Xander being spotted at OTRA shows.

The articles that published the pap walk with Xander talked about Harry’s boots (?) to not make the mention of “close pal” too obvious - the larries really do know how to interpret and do detective work, so the team had no doubt that this would start the rumour mill the latest.

While the entire bbg drama unfolded - we got Harry, running with the rainbow pride flag for the very first time, in the midst of super heavy babygate stunting. He’s allowed to be more flamboyant and a little bit more ambiguous in interviews. “Don’t knock it till you try it” and “female? Not that important” all come to mind during this time. This seems pretty clear like a trade off. As long as Louis was seen as Super Straight ™ Harry was free to be a little bit more himself on stage.

Then we had Xander popping up at a show again in Minnesota at the end of July.

A week later, August 4th, Harry gets papped leaving Lottie’s birthday party - and who is the date that “tries to stay out of the photos” but accidentally is fully in it, keeping his distance yet you can easily identify him? Yep, Harry is leaving with Xander. The article we get pushes babygate, while showing Harry and Louis spending time outside of work for the first time in - how many years? And of course the photographer releases more photos, and we get to find Xander in them - management sees our little larrie-detective-hearts as satisfied, feeling like we found something out we weren’t supposed to find, AND it’s gay AND it’s NOT LOUIS. Because Louis is going to be a dad. HETERO. And Harry has an older LOVER. And they all get ALONG, together, partying Lottie’s birthday away. Harry and Louis AND XANDER. TOGETHERBUTPLATONICALLY. Happy now, larries???

The very next day, Harry acknowledges Xander during the concert, referencing Lacrosse while Xander is being spotted and photographed by fans. The fans that analyse every single move eat it up.

Xarry update accounts start appearing. People start speculating. In the meantime, every day if there is no activity from Louis / babygate, there’s activity from Xarry. Seems almost like they are splitting the days to not overcrowd them with stunt content. Then they give the fandom two weeks of quiet to cool down, in which we get the first articles about the Azoffs becoming Harry’s manager in the middle of the month, shortly after followed with The Sun’s breaking article that One Direction will go on Hiatus from March 2016 on.

On 27 August 2015 Harry posts not only a cake on his instagram on Xander’s birthday, but also a blurry photo of a person that looks a lot like Xander.

Harry and Xander are seen all day long spending his birthday together, to strolling the city to going backstage together at OTRA Cleveland to travelling to Chicago to going out together at the SoHo house. “Receipts” tell of Harry sharing a room with Xander, and the next morning, instagram posts let fans deduce they went to the Art Institute with Cal, solidifying the suspicion they spent the night together. They do another stunt week marathon, positioning themselves “backstage” in great view of the fans, flirting and intimate while watching the opening act of OTRA Detroit.

Then, Harry spends a long weekend at Xander’s family’s house in Pennsylvania - how do we know? He goes to food places close to campus, coincidentally very much the target group of his fans, and has loads of pics taken with fans and of him in “private”.

More dinner dates / pap walks / social media interactions / spottings at shows happen all throughout until the last week of September. As soon as Xarry calms down, bbg picks up again - Briana is seen at shows, articles come in again (I am not joking, it is seamless. The very next day after Xarry is active, Briana pops up.)

Right after the bombardment of Xarry and BBG, you guessed it - they allow the fandom to cool down for a week. Exactly a week later, 10 October, Harry reacts to a Xander sign on stage while Louis follows Danielle Campbell on instagram.

From 14th - 24th of October, BBG is heavily, heavily pushed. Louis gets asked about the baby in every interview, and Xarry is - unsurprisingly - quiet. We also have the infamous cancelled OTRA Belfast show, which probably had to do with management watning to push Harry/Louis and the stunts to a level they weren’t comfortable with, maybe something like an actual baby being born?? And being his? Maybe a blanko article that had been “accidentally” published that day - what, three months early? - stating Louis Tomlinson’s healthy baby[boy/girl] had been born could have something to do with them walking out and not performing. We will never know, though.

What happens the day after the BBG push ends? Let’s look at RBB&SBB. For the past 5 days, they had a countdown on their twitter, leading to the 25th October 2015 and a tweet: “Caution - Bears coming out of hibernation” many fans were excited - did that mean they would come out? Maybe this was half the truth. Maybe it was only one of them that was supposed to be coming out soon. It would make a lot of sense why they pushed babygate so so hard the week prior.

So, as soon as BBG ebbs, Xarry picks up again. End of October until the first week of November Harry & Xander follow each other’s friends and families, like their photos, making it look like they were getting serious, meeting friends and family, and Xander is spotted at the last two shows of OTRA tour. The grand finale: Xander allures on instagram to the idea of him being in London with Harry.

And then - nothing.

What happened? We can only speculate. But something that would make a lot of sense to me was this:

Zayn leaving.

Let me explain.

(TW: Suicide)

There are so many theories and rumors floating around why Zayn left, but in retrospect, especially with Liam and Harry recently painting us an image of just how hard and terrifying this time must have been for them, under how much pressure they stood and how badly their mental health suffered under it, we get a better idea how this could have affected Zayn, too. Liam said he would be dead by now if the band hadn’t gone on hiatus, that he was an alcoholic by the end, and suicidal. And I don’t think Zayn fared much better. He shared he had an eating disorder, and we know those can kill. Just like the others, he probably abused alcohol and drugs as a coping mechanism, and looking at how he conducts himself today in the public eye, it is in my opinion a fair assessment that he is still recovering from deep trauma.

He apparently fainted after the San Siro WWA show, and because of the likes of Rebecca Ferguson and Katie Waissel we do know how severely Modest overworks their artists, from giving them adrenaline shots to using all sorts of psychological manipulation to get them to perform.

In my opinion, for Zayn it was a matter of survival. Caged like that, when you’re this sensitive, and forced to do something you don’t fully support - that kills. And the sheer exhaustion is detrimental to your psychological health. So when someone like Naughty Boy suddenly lures you with tales of freedom and making music exactly the way he liked, fuck the label, the way he did in November 2014, you suddenly can’t take it anymore. You got a taste of freedom, and if you don’t get it, you will die. (regardless of this being fact, it can certainly feel like that. And then - is there much of a difference?).

So Zayn gets worse. And Louis tries his hardest to make it better for him. All the boys do. They love each other, they’ve got each other’s backs, they all try to make things happen so that they can try and breathe a little easier. Remember, November 2014 is also back when they start seeding the Xarry stunt. It’s the time they wiped Briana’s social media presence clean, meaning they had already chosen her to be the "mum-to-be". The plans are set in motion for Harry’s bi coming out. And they all know they can’t handle more scandals than babygate and Harry coming out as bi, the brand One Direction can’t, or so the label might say. So they try to make it easier for Zayn, for his sake and for their sake. Just hold on a little longer, only finish this tour and then one more album and one last tour and we’re free. Maybe it became a mantra? We can do it. Only maybe another 1.5 years. You can do it. We can do it. We can get through this.

And Zayn seems to cling to it, he perks up under the shower of affection from the boys. Until - more pressure from the outside. The public lashes out, the “cheating scandal” between him and Lauren and Perrie (another PR stunt?) goes wild. Now he can’t anymore. They agree on him being allowed to go on a stress leave after he left a show early in March - they give him a week.

During this week, it seems, he gets the clarity he needs. He decides to leave One Direction. The day he is expected back, he quits.

And now, remember - BBG and Xarry preparations are already in full swing. But what are Zayn’s choices?

And can you blame Harry and Louis for being hurt about this? Can you blame Zayn for needing to leave? Can you blame Zayn for being hurt as well, and feeling guilty for walking away? Doesn’t it make so much sense if this situation truly was like that - Zayn’s happiness and survival for Harry’s and vice versa? (because if you think Harry wasn’t also on the brink of being suicidal, go back and rewatch the Adore You music video. Listen to the songs he wrote. To the ones Louis wrote “Could have been a bed in a box” is pretty dark (and yes, I have heard him sing these lyrics live with my very own ears) - and Don’t Let It Break Your Heart sounds a lot better than Please Don’t Kill Yourself). It’s not that they had a fight per se, it’s not that they didn’t love each other dearly, it’s not that they didn’t understand - they did, too well. It’s that outside forces made them choose - my life or yours. And that shit hurt. Both Harry and Louis. They both got scared that their plan wouldn’t be able to go through. That they themselves wouldn't make it. And they were partly right.

And it also kinda makes Louis’ statement make sense. He can’t speak to Zayn yet, something needs to change first, get resolved. Maybe he has to finish this chapter first, the one that was one of the reasons there was so much pain? End the babygate stunt, and then they can reconnect? Would make sense for him to be publicly liking Zayn’s You & I post recently, as it looks like babygate is probably ending in a little over a month from now.

And why else would Liam and Niall be pretty neutral on this, while you could see just how bitter Harry and Louis were about this?

Back to Xarry. So, Zayn left at the end of March 2015. They still went ahead with all the babygate and Xarry stunting, hoping they would make it to the coming out, planned for probably the end of that year (remember the RBB&SBB countdown).

The first rumors and articles about One Direction going on hiatus start circling at the beginning of June, when Briana is already confirmed to be “pregnant”, and then in late August, the hiatus is confirmed. I doubt that this was the plan ever since before Zayn left, but happened as a result of it. Zayn left, buying himself out of the contract and enduring a year long ban on releasing his own music (it might have been originally two years, maybe negotiations happened), point being - he showed you could actually break and bend the rules. At a price, but you can.

So, the decision was made, maybe with a push by the Azoff’s through Harry, to be brave, bend the rules themselves and go on hiatus (this is what they had been waiting and working for, after all).

It would make sense why they were so upset (even more so than you would be) about Modest pushing through the bbg stunt to an actual baby (what for?? we’re going on hiatus anyway next year!) in October with their Belfast gig cancelled.

Maybe the decision was made in November that yes, Harry would take on Jeff as his manager (my god how convenient! He’s already half acting as his manager, has the connections, has the experience, and most importantly, is Harry’s friend first and foremost - he’s looking out for Harry! He wants what is best for Harry, hasn’t he just helped to try and get Harry to come out as bi??) and contracts were signed. How convenient. Fullstop was set up first quarter of 2016. Truly convenient.

Because shortly after, on 15 November 2015, at the tail end of the (failed?) Xarry stunt, Xander goes and confounds The Loyalist with his brother Maxwell as well as some others, the description reading “End-to-end platform that allows brands, influencers and content creators to launch a fully-functioning merchandise business in just 15min. The Loyalist hosts, produces, ships and insures every product; Store Owners simply promote and collect proceeds.” which is awfully convenient for someone who has lots of connections to people who have merchandise to sell to their fans (ahem, Harry?)

In the following weeks, Louis goes ‘official’ with Danielle Campbell, and we don’t hear much about Xander at all anymore. He pops up every now and again over the years, but in mostly a “I have a girlfriend and I am supporting my famous friend Harry Styles” way. In 2016, “private” photos of Harry hanging out with Xander’s family and vice versa are “leaked”, and there was a fandom scandal of some fans apparantly trying to catfish Xander into admitting that Harry was gay, some dick pics might have been sent, all of it backfired, leading to Xander deleting his twitter account at the beginning of 2016, but more about these probably in part 2.

Hendall

So, instead, Hendall gets revived. What happened? Maybe now that Jeff was officially Harry’s manager, he properly advised about his solo career, with the help of his experienced father Irving, maybe at one of the family visits Harry did during November and December of 2015. And that maybe, maybe it would be the wisest to freeze the bi-coming out for a while until he’s an established solo artist - you never know how these things go! And Harry, don’t you want to become so so big and influential and well known that even when you have a coming out, no one will make you vanish? That people will still be interested? So that you can be a role model and a help and inspiration to so so many more people than just the measly few, you would have left if things go sideways now at the beginning of your solo career? You know, Jeff is only looking out for you, You know that. He’s your friend. Has been for years. And Xander being caught up in a fake (?) het dick pic scandal isn’t helping.

And maybe Harry reluctantly agrees. One Direction is over for now, pretty much, hardly three months left, and then he will be much freer than he was under modest, right. Right?

The stunts flow into each other seamlessly. From a Hendall burst beginning of 2015 to a year full of Xander back to yachting over new year’s with Kendall again. Kendall seems to be pulled out at any convenience, nothing serious, but the more sexy. It helps creating the image of a sexually ambiguous Harry who has many lovers of many genders (so that everybody, especially all of his fans have a chance with him iykwim). And Harry gets along with Kendall - maybe it’s the same just different, Kendall dealing with her closet. Does anybody want any CaKe?

Harry goes solo. And what are the first two songs Harry writes/releases?

Kiwi, that screams of rage and babygate, and Sign of the Times - they told me that the end is near. Which is awfully sorrowful, talking about how it's always the same, and that they always tell you soon.

And here you have it.

This is my take on Xarry, and to me, it makes a LOT of sense.

Now, I do believe they are gearing up for another bisexual coming out for Harry (maybe Harry insisting now that we’ve seen him distnace himself a lot more from Jeff since the pandemic hit), and I am curious to see how it will unfold, especially hand in hand with babygate probably ending pretty soon.

I might make another post going into more details about another coming out attempt soon, so stay tuned for a part 2!

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