#honestly tho it's making me remember how good writing is for my health overall | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moonlight-drawn-by-dawn · 2 years

Note

4, 10, 17, 19, 21, 25, 27, 32, 35, 36

😘 you!!! Excited to read your answers!

4. Ohhh, to be honest at this very moment I'm not sure if I have any particular word 😅 I know that slurs (especially racial of any kind) tend to make me uncomfortable, even when my own characters use them. It's unfortunate how those terms have been used in past context and modern as well. Other than that...I think maybe the words bubbles or balloon? 😅 So odd I know but the way I think of it is imagining a guy saying those words and it seems icky, which is sad because I like both those things :/.

10. Yes, in terms of someone else's writing and my own. So there have been several types of Reylo fics that haunt me, like those involving "family love" in a heinous way, or ones where Rey is a minor (like younger than 16 young) and Kylo is a middle aged man. I run from those really quickly. There was also a novel series created by an author that's notorious for its writing subject and being really bad, and the author paying their friends to write good reviews 😬😬 won't say the name of it, but I remember trying to read it when I was younger and it being so disgusting I stopped, but it still haunts me whenever I think about it 🥲

In terms of my own fiction, there are some stories I'm not happy with that I try to not see the light of day (at least on my current platforms😅) I will admit that I do have a big fic I'm not happy with (my biggest Reylo story) but because readers fo enjoy it, I do update it (not too often, but I try lol)

17. Alright so this one I'll have to make a separate post about 😅 there's just TOO MUCH to say lmaoo

19. Oh gosh this is a good question!! I think my writing journey began when I was a little kid who was lonely and had to rely on my imagination. I would create worlds in my head that I can still remember now lol. It was always fun, and a good way to distract me from the reality of life and my loneliness. It helped me when I was bullied in school often, and when I was at home and things just weren't the greatest. The first story I wrote on paper was when I was 8 years old. It was when I watched a movie called Magic Gift of the Snowman (and boy that's one hell of a ride lmaooo) and I remembered wanting to write about a Princess whose smile was stolen by a bad man. I even remember her name!! Her name was Princess June.

My mom discouraged me from writing tho at that point. And it was around that time I really hated English overall. I was more of a math and science person at that time (what a joke cause I hate both subject now xD) but I found my love again when I was eleven. It didn't feel like a chore as much anymore to read stories (and boy was it 🥲) but I didn't get back into the full groove of writing again till I was 12. I've had many ups and downs with writing in terms of inspiration and mental health. The bullying never really stopped, but I would go into the depths of my imagination to help me to survive. When I wasn't writing, I was doing art of sinking myself into music and movies lol, so I've dabbled a bit into everything.

Naturally, there are bumps with anything we pursue to do. For me, it was in the numbers. I honestly wanted people to read my stories and love them! I wanted to know I was writing and did a swell job at it. It's still something I struggle with now still because of my confidence and view of self, but at least now I don't allow anything to stop me (unless it's life threatening lmao). There was always the fight of writing out the harder or mundane parts of stories, and also the overall world of story building. I do have many story ideas, but not all make it to paper.

I actually still remember those I told about the stories and them getting me into trouble in the counselors office (and my parents finding out 🥲) it taught me a hard lesson about trusting people lmao

As of this moment, I wouldn't say I'm writing at my best potential, because I feel like we will always improve with time, but I do think I'm writing well enough that I could start publishing some of my works. I have at least 3 stories that could be published, but I honestly don't have the confidence. I'm working on it 😅 but I do know since I was a kid I've always wanted to write stories. My best story is yet to come, and I know I wouldn't be writing it until I get a bit older.

21. There were times I wanted to. When I thought I wasn't good enough. I remember when I first wrote Temptations I asked someone to review my story. Now, I knownthe story is not the next best thing since sliced bread (quite far from it lol) I didn't expect all the harsh things they had to say. Naturally, I did my best to take it like a champ and thanked them for the time they took to read my story, but I was crushed. At that time, I watched my grandmother die before my eyes (I saw her final breath, and it will never leave me), I lost some friends because one had a toxic boyfriend who tore the group apart, and I had my first heartbreak. I honestly thought this was what was going to make me feel a bit better about myself.

But nope 🥲

I did in fact stopped writing after that. There was maybe a snippet here and there, but nothing really came through. I was in mourning and severely depressed.

I only started again because of a competition, and while I didn't win, knowing I was able to advance in several rounds, and feeling the fervor of writing again, made me feel great. Since then, I haven't really stopped unless it was for a break. Even on my breaks I have several ideas that I flesh out, but I haven't allowed myself to stop fully since then. Instead, I learned to start using my grief as inspiration, and it's been the best thing that I started doing.

25. Hmm good question lmaoo I guess I can spear some facts :

Jenny is a big fan of Sleeping Beauty, Mary Poppins and Oliver and Company. (Nisha was supposed to be a big fan of Sleeping Beauty when I began to write the story in 2020, but I miscalculated the decades 🥲🥲🥲). But Eddy would always buy Jenny Sleeping Beauty related items as we have seen in the teen!Jenny au.

Tabitha's celebrity crushes were John Stamos and Ricky Martin (she had just as much memorabilia for Ricky as she did for Spice Girls). Her favorite movie would have been Benny and Joon.

Nisha had a collection of art pieces that she wants to release professionally. If she wasn't going down the path of a lawyer, then art would've been her best option. She often leans towards realism in her art, but she has a collection of animation as well inspired from her favorite creators such as Tex Avery and Walt Disney.

(Sorry I couldn't choose just one 😅😅)

27. Most stressful? Oh gosh, that's a toss up between Jenny Lee and Meera Singh. Both have suffered immensely in their stories (well all of them suffer in my stories, but these two suffer more than the rest). I wouldn't say they induce stress in terms of writing as it is thinking of where their stories would go. While I do have alot of hope for my other protagonists, Jenny and Meera's fates are relatively still unknown to me, and thinking of the lengths that their perpetrators can go, it causes alot of stress 😅

32. Ok, so this is cheating, but the line I'm choosing is from one of my favorite shows of all time, that was adapted from a novel series. In the first season of Poldark, Ross Poldark (our protagonist) has had a rough welcome back home from war. He has a scullery maid who later becomes his wife, Demelza, who decided one day to dress up in a dress she found in one of his chests. It's revealed to belong to his late mother, and he is none the pleased by it. After rebuking her for that, he goes to apologize and says, "It's been a hellish day, and I've not been myself."

I can't say why that stuck with me, but when I have a particularly bad day I go back to this line, and I think all of my characters end up thinking this too when they have their emotional outbursts. I tend to feel that way too when I know I'm not my normal self and I end up all alone and angry. It's an oddly comforting line I reflect on.

35. Well, I'm not even sure I do this, but one I don't always like is, "show not tell". I really do try my best to adhere to the rule, but I feel like I don't really do it, and I lowley hate it. I think it really depends on your writing style and how subtle you want to be. When I write, I tend to visualize everything in my mind like it's a movie, so I end up putting on paper just like that 😅😅

36. Yes it is very bad advice.

What I know is...loneliness. I believe one aspect all my characters face (protagonists and villains alike) is loneliness. It is the driving force for all the characters, and each handle it in different ways. I know what it feels like to go through many traumatic situations, whether it is racism, sexism, harrassment/stalking, etc.

I know sorrow and loss. It is a feeling that consumes me more than one should carry it.

But, I also know love, and the small joys in life. I know hope that buds in the bleakest of moments. I know the feeling of wanting to die so terribly, but somehow being saved every time.

I think in everyone of my characters, I see a inkling of myself. I see my characters as different pathways on handling the obstacles of life.

Thank you so much for the questions Liv 🥰 They really made me think lol

#asks #writing questions #original character #original story #original writing #madrugada #lullaby #killing me softly #temptations for the wallflower #sorry but i wrote alot 😅

3 notes · View notes

thewhizzyhead · 3 years

Note

I think you have a multiverse brain - your thoughts fire at the speed of light and you can’t stand to be interrupted because your (brilliant) ideas kind of need to be talked through to sort them, so you write them down! I’m guessing you’re a little disorganized but still stay on top of things, and you will abandon something you’re doing if it means helping someone else out (especially a friend, or a sibling). I think you’re close with your parents and not a huge rule breaker (you don’t like conflict, especially because you know people think highly of you and think that breaking the peace/a situation going to chaos might hurt that image, but I promise everyone you know is proud of you no matter what :)), but you have literally never listened to them about going to sleep early-

I think you read a ton as a kid but don’t have a ton of time for it now and wish you could, but you channel that energy and passion into your other interests like music, theatre, writing, and projects you’re working on! I also remember you saying you’re an INFJ, so I’m going to guess your enneagram is 4w5 since that’s a pretty common type for y’all and also because you seem very original and creative (though you could also maybe be a 5, 6, or 9?). And you have VERY vivid dreams which is both a blessing and a curse? And I have no clue how long you’ve been on tumblr but I’m guessing ~3 years and you’ve cycled through ten-fifteen fandoms (but only been really really really into 4 or so)

These are all first thoughts (and lmk if any of this makes you uncomfortable, I don’t mean it to) and hope your power comes back on soon!!

holy shit anon you really did psychoanalyze me holy shit where do i even start-

so um first of all,,,this is so freaking accurate,,,i'm very impressed rn jfjxjf and yea i've been told many many times by my friends and schoolmates that there's way too much stuff happening in my brain at any given amount of time (which is most probably why i am VERY disorganized and have very horrid handwriting) so um yea that's a blessing and a curse fjsjjf and YUP ANON YOU ARE CORRECT CAUSE AS MUCH AS I AM NOT THAT MUCH OF A RULE BREAKER (honestly me being a stickler for the rules has mellowed out a lot throughout the years due to me basically throwing out the Little Miss Perfect rep out of the window but i still don't like disappointing anyone esp my parents so um yea thanks for the sidenote anon aaa i really needed to hear that um the people that matter will still be proud no matter what 🥺) I STILL REFUSE TO LISTEN TO THEM REGARDING MY CONCERNING SLEEPING SCHEDULE WOOOOOO jk jk take care of your health kids gjcjsg

also fun fact: i took the 16 personalities test again two days ago and apparently i'm an infp now? Honestly my 16p results tend to switch between infp and infj so often that i'm not even that sure anymore so um let's just say that the P/J depends on my mood gjdjd also yea good catch on the enneagram thingy cause i have gotten a lot of 4w5 results but weirdly enough i've gotten a lot more 6w5 results so um yEA IT JUST DEPENDS ON MY MOOD WOO but i'm flattered that you consider me original and creative tho awww thanks anon! Overall this psychoanalysis is ummm eerily accurate and i'm super impressed and also really really touched fjjdd thank you sm anon and I hope you have an awesome day!!

#also yup i have been on this hellsite for like 2 years now #and altho i post about um a Lot Of Stuff gjcjd #i'd say i've only actively been in two fandoms so far (aka six and watt)#and by that i mean i actually made internet friends in those fandoms so fbxhd #i would love to make internet friends through the other stuff im into (if i could find more fili people here esp through trese-#that'll be really great)#aND YUP MY DREAMS ARE EERILY VIVID AND SOMEHOW TEND TO FORETELL THE FUTURE AND NO I AM NOT KIDDING THIS HAPPENS A LOT #UMM THANK YOU GOD FOR GIVING ME THE GIFT OF DREAM FORTUNETELLING I GUESS GJCJSJ #thanks for the ask anon!! you um really got me good #i hope you have a good day and i hope you know that you're very awesome!!#ask me stuff #also p.s THE POWER STILL ISNT BACK JFJXJSJF #IT'S LITERALLY 8 AM RN AND I HAVENT SLEPT A WINK FJXJSJS GOD I MISS AIRCONS

4 notes · View notes

badatusernames · 4 years

Note

CHOJI, SHIKAMARU, LEE, GAARA & HINATA!! ITS A LOT IM SORRY

THANK U FOR THIS...admittedly some answers may be a lil short just so i can like. Get to them all.

EDIT: IDK WHY IT LOOKS LIKE THIS. IM SO TIRED. IM SORRY ITS JUST A LONGASS NARUTO POST ON YOUR DASH I TRIED MY FUCKIN BEST YALL

SEND ME A CHARACTER AND I’LL DO THIS;

Chouji (man i’ve seen it spelled both ways and i’m just used to typing Chouji at this point sorry)

Sexuality Headcanon: Pansexual!! Gender Headcanon: Cis male A ship I have with said character: SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARUUUU, my god...just, everything about their dynamic makes my heart melt, the way they’re both people who are easily dismissed by others and how they have such UNFALTERING FAITH in each other. chouji knows how much of a genius shikamaru is, knows very well the fact that despite his laziness, once he commits to something he’s in it for the LONG HAUL, the way shikamaru just believes so steadfastly in chouji, considering him stronger than NEJI FOR FUCKS SAKE...they like. get one another, the kind of relationship where you can be yakking away one minute and then just sitting in contented silence the next. they can just laze around. maybe play video games and snack. and sometimes...kiss. and it’s so chill even with that latent tenderness their later relationship develops and they both just feel so safe and KNOWN and familiar like. love your best friend. anyway everyone slept on shikacho and y’all should be ashamed the naruto fandom is enormous and finding pretty much ANY content for it is almost impossible aside from the small (if lovely and amazing) tag and i’m pretty hyperfixated on it if you couldn’t tell holy SHIT. A BROTP I have with said character: i’m really not a fan of ino taking potshots at him for his weight and outright shaming him, but once she grows out of that i absolutely love their friendship. listen, you know that post thats like--hold on

thats just them, thanks. A NOTP I have with said character: i have nothing against karui but canon is fucking dead to me and my opinions on p much all the “endgame” ships range from utterly neutral to absolute loathing. their relationship is on neither end of the spectrum, but. eh. definitely not into it. A random headcanon: he keeps nursing injured animals back to health because he’s just that fucking sweet and bringing them back to his house to keep them warm and safe while they recover and his team knows vaguely about this and ino and shikamaru like to poke fun at him for it but since they don’t tend to encounter said animals, it’s not really a huge deal.

of course they stop by his house one day bc he hadn’t shown up for training which is annoying and frankly a little concerning and finding the house mostly empty ino just bursts on into chouji’s room only to immediately have the opossum he’s been caring for latch its little paws on her face and cling.

it’s a bad morning. General Opinion over said character: literally one of my absolute favorites of all time and it really breaks my heart how overlooked he is in the fandom (seriously y’all...). i think kishimoto is kind of a stupid hack and the Fat Jokes are really grating and it sucks to see that so intrinsically tied to his character (like. just let him be fat. jesus christ) but his kindness and overall relaxed, loyal and lovable nature has me just melting. i adore him.

Shikamaru

Sexuality Headcanon: He’s gay, scoob. (I could also talk a lot about how his earlier misogyny is both a product of being a whiny tween and also some internalized frustration of like WHATS SO GREAT ABOUT GIRLS. UGH. I DONT. STOP TELLING ME IM GONNA FALL IN LOVE WITH ONE ONE DAY DAD JESUS. and let’s be real, thats frustrating, even if it aint an excuse) Gender Headcanon: he uses he/him pronouns because it’s just what he’s used to and comfortable with but man gender is such a drag... A ship I have with said character: SEE ABOVE SHIKACHO RANT A BROTP I have with said character: naruto! he and naruto have a really adorable friendship and i love love LOVE that he and chouji were shown to be kind and accepting of him even when most people were shunning him. also he’s so fucking dumb i love seeing shikamaru meticulously plan out something only to have naruto shriek into battle and ruin all of it. love those guys. stupid bros. A NOTP I have with said character: ok. im sorry i just. loathe sh*katema i really do. i haaaate the way kishimoto writes this whole “ew a GIRL” “ew a MAN” vibe with the like OOOH BUT THEYRE GONNA LIKE EACH OTHER vibe like.

don’t get me wrong i adore them as friends, i think they’re fantastic scathing and witty pals who bitch about anything and everything including each other

but they’re also both gay and kishimoto can suck my nuts byeeee A random headcanon: sometimes pakkun just fucking Shows up and chills with him. shikamaru wants absolutely no part of this but is way too lazy to like. do anything about it so it’s just this guy and a dog sitting in a field chillin and occasionally him piping up like ‘hey kid. remember when i bit your hand? yeah? haha, man time sure does fly.” while shikamaru is just. go aWAY. General Opinion over said character: if you told 9 year old me watching naruto for the first time my favs were gonna be a three way tie of lee, shikamaru and chouji i never would have fucking believed you but here we are. i love him. i absolutely love him. he’s such a whiny bastard and a really good depiction of burnout genius who doesnt want to do ANYTHING, but his intellect is an absolute DELIGHT to watch. i love him very much.

Lee

Sexuality Headcanon: he’s pan!! this is a boy that crushes easily and crushes hard on just about anyone!!!! Gender Headcanon: cis male A ship I have with said character: ok i ship him a lot with neji actually? what with how neji grows during the course of the series to regard lee with the respect he deserves is really sweet and there’s just something so infinitely adorable about him going around being the hammiest, most ridiculously earnest, kind and enthusiastic person and neji, now that he isn’t constantly bitter and angry at the world can finally really see that? lee is always happily dropkicking his way into his life, like he wouldn’t have it any other way, and i think that’s just...so sweet A BROTP I have with said character: SAKURAAAAA. oh my GOD do i adore their relationship. ever since lee saved her and basically just gave her a glimpse of his...lee-ness, the fact her negative opinion of him IMMEDIATELY flipped and gave her such a strong admiration and fondness for him kills me DEAD. she always treats him with so much respect and the fact she’s quick to rag on anyone making fun of him melts my HEART!! and on lee’s side, his little crush on her is adorable of course, but the sheer strength of the friendship that comes from it is more than infatuation could ever offer him. i want them to hang out together and talk about their troubles...i want them to make each other laugh and be so very kind to each other...i want sakura to storm over and throw him over her shoulder to TAKE A BREAK ALREADY when he’s been training too hard for too long. god. A NOTP I have with said character: honestly i’m pretty happy with a lot of lee ships! the only ones i view with obvious disdain are the ones with creepy age gaps honestly. A random headcanon: out of everyone in the leaf genin, he’s probably the closest anyone’s ever come to someone who EVERYONE is at least distantly friendly towards. like god have you SEEN how warm and inviting and concerned he is the SECOND he sees that naruto is feeling down? i get the sense he’s immediately inclined to provide that kind of support to any of his comrades, even the ones that Resist it.

you think sasuke is the most popular among the leaf genin? puh-LEASE. everyone looks on rock lee with at least a LITTLE bit of warmth. thats just fact. General Opinion over said character: since my first viewing of naruto he has been my Absolute fav, and while chouji and shikamaru are veeery close to stealing that spot, one look at him and i feel he’s gonna be on top forever. probably the best written character kishimoto’s ever produced that’s remained in the main cast (tho i dont speak for shipudden onwards who fucking knows, but the truth of it is is i adore rock lee)

Gaara

Sexuality Headcanon: Panromantic Asexual Gender Headcanon: kind of like shikamaru, i feel like he uses he/him pronouns but also doesn’t particularly....Care? A ship I have with said character: ok so it wasnt until my naruto rewatch that i really started falling into this but i think him and naruto are super cute? while i loathe kishimoto for ruining so much abt this show he really is good at creating good foils to naruto, and gaara is no exception--and the way naruto changes his life by just kicking his ass (and proving he’s not just a Simp or smth) and then just, extending genuine empathy and a REAL sense of truly relating to where he’s coming from re:his upbringing? the EFFECT it has on him, bro!!!! my god!!! i feel like they’re that opposites attract ship that don’t clash constantly but instead fall into this adorable synergy and understanding? and i think thats so sweet A BROTP I have with said character: ...is it cheating to just put temari and kankuro here? bc they are literally his siblings but my GOD do i love their relationship. there’s something so deeply sad about their initial situation??? like having siblings that either are deeply fucking afraid of you or clearly don’t care for your well being whatsoever, it’s such a tragic scenario, and the times where they really do show legitimate care for gaara just breaks my heart...but the GROWTH. THE DEVELOPMENT. THE HEALING. i love the sand siblings so much, i am a STRONG advocate of seeing the development from estranged family to loving, occasionally bickering siblings who absolutely Love Each Other A NOTP I have with said character: uhhhh same with lee in that i don’t really mind most of the ships i’ve seen him in? while i don’t particularly ship gaalee i think its also Very Cute, and really it all just seems pretty valid as long as people aren’t being creepy? A random headcanon: i’ve been wracking my brain for one for a good 20 minutes and i just don’t have one he’s such a mystery to me/????? i love him but he is an enigma?? General Opinion over said character: oh my god he’s such an edgelord in the beginning. i’ve been doing a lot of this naruto rewatch with my friend @drashseed (a simply phenomenal fella 10/10 follow him) and every single time he talked the only valid response just became “ok gaara”

but his backstory? utterly HEARTWRENCHING. and his growth is just. absolutely divine, i adore him. thank you mister sandman for doing so much for us all.

Hinata

Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual Gender Headcanon: cis woman A ship I have with said character: listen. i think kibahina is........Really Really cute. he cares about her so MUCH??? and there’s a certain tenderness to his interactions with her that’s just really evident whenever you see em together? i really love that you get the sense hinata is COMFORTABLE around him!!! like! i feel like hinata really deserves to have a partner who sees her when she ISN’T blushing and stammering? when she’s like? legitimately comfortable and being HERSELF? (dgmw the blushing is adorable i fucking love her but its one of the gripes i have with naruhina that so much of it is just naruto being oblivious and her having a small panic attack) the comfort she and kiba have make for a chill, adorable relationship i just cry over constantly A BROTP I have with said character: so i was GONNA put naruto here, but technically i already put him there for shikamaru’s so i’m gonna say neji!!! uhhh OBVIOUSLY they got off to a. very rough start but the way their dynamic changed (or perhaps in a way reverted back to the times they interacted before neji’s father died and temporarily killed his Human Decency) into this respect and fondness that’s just...such a delight to watch? i’m a SUCKER for slow and mutual reconciliation and there are just so many sweet moments between them. they are FAMILY, BRO!!! THEY CARE FOR EACH OTHER, BRO!!!!!!!!!! A NOTP I have with said character: ...at the risk of sounding like a broken record, i think a lot of hinata ships are quite cute? i guess i’m gonna have to say sasuke. because like.

has. he ever even looked at her. please. jesus christ. she deserves so much better. A random headcanon: she is a LOT physically stronger than she looks!! a lot of her combat techniques rely on taijustu after all so it’d make sense that she puts a lot of effort into physical training alongside chakra control.

i’m trying to say she’s strong. not as strong as sakura but. she can lift her bf up over her head (he’s dying hes dying he’s dYING he lOVES HER SO MUCH). it’s pretty fuckign badass

General Opinion over said character: i LOVE her??? honest to god i really really do--honestly while i dislike the direction they went in canon with her, i really loved seeing her be motivated to grow and change the parts of herself she hated to become a stronger person.

that and she’s so fucking cute and sweet and i just??????? bless her honestly.

#naruto #shikacho #narugaa #nejilee #kibahina #they speak #i cant tag everyone fuck #is this formatting fucked up? i can't tell it wouldnt post before #long post

69 notes · View notes

xuseokgyu · 3 years

Note

This might be the longest one yet.......... rip. i had some stories to tell.... :((

My job is to mostly to tell people when they make mistakes lmao. i work in document quality control ? for a manufacturing company, mostly check the inspection paperwork and certificates for the medical/surgical devices. and then have to be like this... is not right. fix this. currently have a lot of prototype parts going through which have some added requirements but also they keep changing the prints so then obviously the paperwork then changes and its just been annoying cuz its redo-ing a lot of paperwork.

yeah, that makes sense and that is part of it sometimes... i also think im just not in the mood for certain genres of music at times lol.

lol yeah it was so funny in the beginning she was watching some mv's and kept sending me screenshots of jeonghan with different hair styles with this message "who is this????" and every single time it was still jeonghan. i was just like lmao you should just assume that its jeonghan at this point. her defense was that he looks really different every time he changes his hair. she can recognize him now at least. the only other ones she can recognize currently are s.coups (her current favorite member overall) and vernon (her favorite rapper in their songs - she really like how vernon raps). shes more rap biased lol.

thank you.. you are only a little late lol my bday was the 11th. the last time i played bingo i spent $40 total over two days (80 games @ $0.50/game) and won zero. its a skill... i only got close to bingo (1 space away) like 3 times total. it was really tragic... at one point the lady sitting at the same table as us was just like wow... i haven't seen you even get three in a row since i've been here (which was like an hour).

We went to the same kindergarten, then i moved away and then i moved back in the 8th grade (i also have known the friend that is getting into svt for the same amount of time since she went to that same school, though her family are basically neighbors with my cousins family, and they are really close, so i saw her a lot more overall but wasn't super close to her until more recently actually, when we went to the same wedding (my cousin's) and starting talking again)

also to help this make more sense (as in why would they remember me lol) my graduating class size at that school was only 22 people, and my cousins also went to that same school. my dad went to that school, the english teacher there had taught my dad when he was in high school, its extreme small town vibes. people would literally just recognize what family i came from and just start talking to me. and i'd just be frantically trying to figure out who they were. like oh god oh god am i supposed to know who this is?? have i met this person before???

actually the wackiest thing is one of my friends from when i moved (big school), her grandma, i found out after we moved back to the small town, used to babysit my dad and her grandmas house was literally a mile down the street from us... you could see her grandmas house from our living room windows. i was just like what?? her cousins also then went to the same school as me. and then we fell out of touch but then ended up going to the same college. where she would be like "i saw you on campus today" and i was just like??? i did not see you, where are you? i haven't talked to you in like 3 years wtf?? i'm not in touch with her anymore but my younger sister is currently roommates with her younger sister in college lmao. oh other bizarre thing... one of my classmate's (from the big school) relatives bought the house we sold when i moved in kindergarten, and idk for some reason a few years after we moved we went back to the old house for something idk, and my classmate was visiting her family at my old house at the same time. we saw each other and we just stared at each other like what are you doing here?? we had moved like hour away (highway travel times) lol so it was just so random. (wow i hope these made sense lol)

the heat was worse in the beginning of summer i think... or i've just gotten used to it lol. there was all that smoke though that blew in from canada a bit ago though. but thats almost become a yearly thing now unfortunately. lol your weather sounds like how the weather is here sometimes - i live in minnesota, we are known for our wildly fluctuating weather. extreme highs and lows.

I love piano in music! I had to learn how to play piano as a kid... my grandma taught (most) of the grandchildren. i'm not very good at it tbh i never liked to practice and i havent played in years lol. we also learned how to play the piano/read sheet music when i went to the big school for music class for a year. I feel like if you are able to buy a little cheap or used keyboard it shouldn't be too hard to teach yourself if you wanted to start?? at least simple songs. I guess learning to read music would be the hardest place to start if you've never read sheet music before?? but thats what cheat sheets are for tbh. write the notes in, write them on the keys whatever works. we had a foldable note cheat sheet thing that went behind the keys and said the name of the note and where it was on the staff behind all the keys. when I was learning i'd be like b b b where is the b im looking for... ah here it is *ding* ok and now c ... c . c. ah ha *ding* and then repeat until you can play at a normal speed lol.

oh hands down its Oh My! best summer song lol i love Oh My! .... You Made My Day is also my fav album... what about you?

also what's ur favorite cold drink (#2)? picked this one cuz I have been buying myself bubble tea like once a week almost uhhh all summer lol the tapioca pearls at this place are so much better than other places i've been to and this place has cheese foam that i have also become obsessed with (tho thats very expensive its an extreme treat myself drink add-on lol) the blended mango with cheese foam... so good.... its like $7 though. today i got the normal mango milk tea which i hadn't had in a while cuz i'd been going through the various types of regular? milk tea (made with different types of black tea - i love black tea i have um a lot of tea i think i have like 15 different types rn). Otherwise I almost always have ginger ale in my fridge lol its great for a lot of things and also just to drink. love ginger ale... i just love ginger honestly.....

Is 1am and I should be sleeping but I wanna answer this before reveal day!!!

Best job description 😂😂 I feel like your job is one that can become automatic very easily so I can see how the changes can be annoying

SCoups and Vernon are definitely the ones with more distinctive faces, they were the ones I recognized better first, same for my father... he knows the names of all the members now but he still messes up the three Js hahah Jeonghan Joshua and Jun always take a while for him to recognize, sometimes Wonwoo too, which drives my sister crazy cause two of her three bias are there 😂😂

These small town vibes are so cool! I love that you have this community and managed to form long lasting friendships!! I basically had the same classmates for ten years and as soon as we graduated I lost touch... I made great friends at college tho The pandemic has been hard, we are respecting our health and haven’t seen each other personally since it all started, but I hope once we can meet again everything will go back to how it was between us

I had a situation sort of similar to yours at school too ahha My mom was and had already been a teacher (P.E.) at my school for years so all the staff and a looot of the older students knew who I was, but I had no idea who those people were hahah To this day almost everywhere we go together we will encounter some old student of hers...

Is so cool that your grandma did that! But I can see how it was more a task than something you truly wanted to do so you probably wouldn’t be very excited heheh I was part of a choir growing up and we had sheet music but our teacher never truly showed us how to read it, I know the basics but is literally like a toddler that just learned the alphabet hahah

Oh my! really is THE summer song I completely agree with you there!! I also absolutely loove the mv and whole comeback seemed really cool

Oohh I only had bubble tea once and I want to drink it again!! I only know of one place that sells it here, it is still a pretty new “concept” so there’s not a lot of shops around... And I never had ginger ale! I’m super curious about it cause I’ve heard it being mentioned in, like, tv series, but I don’t drink sodas so I don’t know if I would break my “diet” for a taste heheh My favorite cold drink is lemon iced tea, the ones we have here are really sweet and kinda “sparkling”? (I don’t know how to say it... is almost like a soda but not really 😅) Even during the winter, we drink it during weekends cause is a “special drink” hahahah not a Brazilian thing, just in my house

#hope you had a great weekend anon!!#super curious to reveal day 👀#ask #anon #caratanonevent

0 notes

malunedyne · 6 years

Note

aesthetic themed ask list: you know the drill fam, all of them now!

BRUUHHH IS THIS BLACKMAIL

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

will i ever be a successful writer/artist of any kind? how can i achieve that?

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

being able to be grateful and enjoy small things in life even if i feel like i’m at the peak of my dysthymia (lol)

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

a very random day i’m not sure why it got stuck on my head some +5 years ago when it was raining and i was outside my house, throwing lemons of my lemon tree towards the neighbors’ houses lmao

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

totally, i would start writing full time and maybe planning on doing some small trips before it

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

-visiting a foreign country (japan would be my dream)-publishing a work (either a book or a photograph in a prestigious place)-be truly in love and loved back

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

-she’s the only one who knows in EXPLICIT detail how my sublimation mechanism works, the biggest of my weakness, what makes me feel shame the most….. a college friend of mine, intellectually clever, emotionally not so much, shares big passion for the same EROS subject

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

-i can’t complain about it, i remember good things mostly, i still went outside and played but also enjoyed video games and cartoons; i was a loner but never felt lonely, my imagination compensated alla that

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

-in the first days of the year in front of my parents lol i was so done with everything

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

-i’d choose my father cause he surely would tell me some good stories or about the myths…..

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

-that’s literally what going to therapy almost is lmao jks that’s not therapy well i think if i could feel reciprocated, i would

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

-3 am???? i guess it was my last best friend, but we barely think of each other now

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

-it would depend on a lot of things, honestly

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

-cute and it doesn’t give me the creeps to stare at directly, lmao (eyes too light give me anxiety to hold visual contact with)

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

“A Hero must struggle!” how can you know a Hero is a Hero without trouble though? isn’t life made out of trials? A Hero must not be just a muscular, strong figure who makes physical tasks, it also speaks of mental and intern fights too..... I wrote a whole paper on this and would surely write more about it

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

-1000 reasons why thinking everything will solve by itself later is a lie and a bad idea

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

-find another place to live with my family; travel. a fucking lot. but first, give my parents what they need to solve some financial and health issues. donate to environment protection orgs, buy shittons of gaming and anime merch like the hopeless half-arsed grown adult i am

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

-I can forgive anyone but it takes some time. I like being like that, everything that hurts me i sublimate later through my writings, so even that displeasure, has a /creative/ function in my life

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.-bitchyou’re dumb as hell, but wise as fuck. you don’t give three fucks about time,enjoy it while you can. you may have encountered yourself with people who tryto hurt you, mess with you and you feel bad about yourself, but it’s not yourfault in the slightest, nor they are right. never allow them to be in controlof YOUR emotions. you need to stand for yourself and yourself only, you don’tneed to prove shit to no one. Write. Write. Write. and never stop. use everythingand turn it into words: good, bad, fears and dreams.

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

both depending on the #mood

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain

piercings aren’t really my thing but I like tattoos (not hardcore-like tho), I’ve think of getting one but I get overwhelmed and my mom would kill me lol (if my siblings agreed on getting a small Triforce tattoo and each of us pick one part /i’d pick wisdom tho/, i’d be more than happy to get it done)

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

I used to wear mascara (but i caught an eye infection, lol), now i just do the basics: powder and lipstick.

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

uhm….. i owe led zeppelin a lot because it supported me thru the worst of my first major depressive episode, and i have a thing with Pink Floyd The Wall….. I used to listen it on repeat thru the last straw of it, so it naturally makes me feel depressive and somewhat suicidal ???? but just in thought….. I can’t listen to Dark Side of the Moon because I feel useless as well lol

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

we need to stop being arrogant, selfish and stupid enough to think everything is here to serve us; we can’t dissociate ourselves from nature and the environment as if we were self-sufficient.

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

oh now this is sad lol

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

the person who will spend their life with me, and where to find them

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

uhmm….. hehe

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

i set /most of times/ my stuff for the next day, uniform; i eat/drink something and put a glass of water beside my bed, wear my pajamas, pray a little for the people i love, or render thanks for stuff, and think of my stories or some gay shit before till i fall asleep (if i’m lucky enough, i get to dream of it as well)

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

-same as u fam @electroma89, I want my parents to know my interest in writing and such, just like my father does buuuuuuuuuuut the topics of my interest i doubt they’ll understand and it’s a total wild card trying to guess how they would react like

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

have u seen MCU’s Gamora? that’s how I’d wear my hair

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

-uh….. lol idk, i’ve always have wanted to go to somewhere quiet and watch the stars

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

-Peace and Love on Planet Earth….. is there anything that’s worth more?-having self discipline….. i swear to Hylia lots of my problems could be avoided that way-meet someone who loves me and i can love back….. my life has placed me in the worst places to know people, i swear…..

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

-i’ve never dressed for halloween, but i’d like to; though i can’t think of any rn lol

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

-opening up to people more than i should had

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

-hurt someone from my loved ones; steal from the poor

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

-only one song??? FUCK i couldn’t say a person, but i’m sooooo special with songs i’m not sure….. maybe Le Cygne by Camil Saint-Saens, maybe that one

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.

-i’ve never been, i’ve been infatuated, but in love? as in love for real? i don’t think so

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

-i was thinking in cutting my hair real short…. i might do it next year

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

-i’d trust anyone who acknowledges i love italian sodas instead of coffee lmao

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

-getting some writings done and figuring out what to do once my internship trial is over

BRUH this is some deep shit for real omfg

2 notes · View notes

fairycosmos · 6 years

Note

hello mutual ~ im am a baby so i will stay anon but you are the one person here that i think will help. I did the thing i thought was right, but it was stupid. i confessed to smoking and now im “banned” and grounded for a few weeks. weed just helps so much, with my anxiety and irritibality and it was a really good crutch because im at a point where i dont enjoy much (as in i cant find anything to make me happy 🙃) im just really fucking sad and obviously regretful but i feel like such an idiot

hey man, don’t say that. you’re not an idiot just for trying to cope, and you’re obviously still very young so you’re going to do things that you regret - it’s how you mature. beating yourself up about it now isn’t going to change anything, and it’s not going to make the situation any better. doing what you think is right and then having it turn out wrong is literally one of the most inevitable things ever, and it’s going to happen over n over again as you grow up. tbh i totally get where you’re coming from because i started smoking when i was 14 and it helped with my anxiety and stuff but at the same time i’d really really recommend waiting until you’re a little older before you do it regularly. weed isn’t exactly a harmful drug in most cases, but your brain is still developing and in the long run it’s going to make your anxiety worse + stop you from reaching your full potential. that’s what it did for me n a lot of people i know who started smoking heavily when they were young - it’s simply not worth it. you don’t need it right now, especially when there are so many others ways to find that sort of outlet. finding what works best for you and what calms you down might take a little while, but there are so many different things you can look into/try out. your anxiety isn’t some sort of monster, it’s something that can be controlled. i get that you feel like you only have one option, but just because you feel that way doesn’t mean it’s true. your anxiety is clouding your perception of everything, and making you believe things that aren’t based in rationality/reality. and honestly, i understand that it’s shitty to have your parents be so disappointed in you, but they’re not going to hold it against you forever. this is something that you’re going to be able to move past, something that is ultimately quite manageable. if you feel comfortable with telling your parents about your anxiety, even if you think they don’t want to hear it, then i’d really recommend doing so. at the end of the day they care about you, and you genuinely don’t have to fight this alone (tho obviously if they’re abusive or something i can’t recommend that, but if not just know that it’s okay to tell them how you’re feeling, you have a right to ask for help if you need it.) you don’t need to hide what you’re going through from them, you can talk to them - they’ve been through it themselves, and even though it might feel a little awkward it really will make your worries feel a little less intense.

and even if telling them isn’t an option, you’d be surprised to know how many people can relate to exactly what you’re going through right now, and how many resources there are out there that will help you. it sounds like bullshit, but it’s not. you are not a lost cause, and there is no reason for you to give up on yourself. you are a lot younger than you realize, and you don’t need to have it all figured out just yet. i have so much belief in you, so much certainty in your ability to do what’s best for your own mindset. when it comes down to it, if you actively seek ways to make your mental health a priority in your life, then you will notice positive results in time. whether it’s by talking to a school counselor, or making an appointment with your actual doctor - either one is a really solid place to start. they’ll be able to offer some better coping techniques and tips on how to manage it when it’s all too much. yeah, it’s a process. and yes, it can be scary and odd to think about talking to someone and drawing attention to yourself/your anxiety, but you have to to know on a really deep and fundamental level that it’s going to improve the quality of your life eventually. force yourself to care about what happens to you, look out for yourself as much as you can. remember, anxiety is an actual disorder and in a lot of cases it needs real medical attention in order to overcome, you know? if it’s seriously impacting your life and your overall happiness, then you DO have the control to reach out, even if your mind is telling you that you’re powerless and weak. you need to take your mental health as seriously as you take your physical health, because it’s really just as important. i get that all of this is a lot easier said than done, dude. and i’m not i’m not saying that you have to make any big decisions right now - fighting this is going to take time and effort and some days it may feel like you’re losing the battle, but as long as you are trying then you are doing more than enough. you are going to be alright. i’m not gna put any more pressure on you to talk to someone, but i hope you know that the option is there and that it won’t be anywhere near as bad as you’re expecting it to be. don’t write the idea off before you’ve even tried it, because it’s really one of the best alternatives to smoking/unhealthy coping mechanisms. you need to find the root causes of why you feel the way that you do before you can truly face it, you know? but whatever you decide, try to remember that you are dealing with something that is very very painful and hard, and that the fact that you are getting up each day and attempting to do the right thing is an achievement in itself. every day is a new opportunity to change something for the better, and to try again. the way that you’re feeling right now is a lot less permanent than it feels, i promise. each negative thought and emotion you have is temporary, and it has no baring on reality unless you say that it does. i’ll leave a few links that might be able to help when you feel an anxiety bout/attack coming on, check them out if you have the time. i’m always here if you need to talk lil angel, n i hope you find some peace of mind soon, and that you figure things out w your parents. hmu if you need a friend :)

https://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/management

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/finding-cloud9/201308/5-quick-tips-reduce-stress-and-stop-anxiety

https://www.realsimple.com/health/mind-mood/emotional-health/ten-ways-to-cope-with-anxiety

http://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-tips/stop-anxiety-attacks.shtml

http://bigthink.com/21st-century-spirituality/wired-for-anxiety

https://www.everydayhealth.com/anxiety/how-to-handle-panic-attacks.aspx

https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/mental-health-newsletter/are-you-afraid-to-ask-for-mental-health-help/

https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/04/06/too-anxious-to-get-help-for-my-anxiety/

#fuck i feel like this 1 makes no sense !!!!!!!#im sry i'm hope yr okay love

4 notes · View notes

yvqis · 7 years

Text

kpop memory

The rules are simple; pick a handful of your most favorite K-Pop groups and write a memory you attach to them. Then tag some other people to do it. Enjoy!

I was tagged by the angel @n4yeons (ily, thank you!!!)

BTOB: okay tbh this isn’t a specific memory but btob helped me get through a lot, i used to cry whenever i listened to it’s okay because their vocals actually touched me so much and that song is so good? the lyrics meant a lot to me (especially when the song first came out cuz that’s when i was going through a lot mental health wise and just hearing “i believe in you” was like DAMN)

CLC: i remember i found clc when their debut teasers started coming out because of btob and somehow i fell so in love with them that they ended my existence as a boy group stan and i have been a girl group stan ever since??? i don’t have any specific memory that comes to mind but whenever i think of them i remember how after they debuted i got so much happier like overall as a person

Dreamcatcher: honestly this isn’t a specific thing but whenever i think of dreamcatcher i think about how i need a new song from them like every day?? in the summer literally the day after fly high came out i asked my friend when their next comeback was gonna be... i’m messy

I.O.I: (does this count? I still support all the girls in their respective groups) i remember i was streaming the finale of produce 101 and tbh i had given up on yeonjung getting into the group but then they said yeonjung was 11th and i literally cried so hard like i was sobbing because that was my #1 girl making it into the group despite getting so much hate and she made it in because of her talent and then she ended up being an angel so what do you know? justice wins in the end

Pristin: OKAY so i very specifically remember the day that they announced kyla was part of pledis girlz (and somehow i got the url kylamassie .... literally how) i think pristin is another group where there aren’t many specific things for... like i can remember a lot of things but most of all i just love them?

Twice: i have so many memories about twice but i think one of the biggest things that they will always remind me of is how they brought me and my best friend closer together! we watched sixteen together and tbh we were already close but i just will always have fond memories of twice helping bring us closer. also i was so mad when momo got eliminated but the gods smiled upon us all and she was added back xo

WJSN: secret came out while i was in an airport on my way to school (i go to school pretty far from home) and even tho i have a limited data plan i remember refreshing youtube until they posted it and i just sat in an airport and felt my life change as i listened to what is still one of my top 5 girl group songs of all time, thank you wjsn

okay sorry y’all these are a mess! but i tag: @hani-x @princesselkie @day69 @k0ntz and @yeonjwng ! and anyone else that wants to!! (if i tagged u no pressure also, u can just ignore this if u want!)

#i just don't stan many boygroups :''')#tagged #they're in alphabetical order cuz i'm a nerd

4 notes · View notes

simba-bonfamille-lyons · 7 years

Note

☾ ♥ ● ♦

I put this under a readmore bc it’s LONG AS FUCK im sorry

☾: Favorite moment from your Muse's canon, and why. (If your Muse is an OC, then favorite aspect of their story.)

i love this question.

Belle: my fave is def the scene where she’s taking care of the Beast after the wolves attack them and he gets all grumpy and she Shuts That Shit Down. i take so much of my inspo for belle from that scene alone tbh--but i also do love the opening sequence and how could you not love I WANT ADVENTURE IN THE GREAT WIDE SOMEWHEREEEE

Simba: ugh, so many good moments, but the best scenes in the whole movie are def the stars scene with mufasa and when simba sees rafiki. i also LOVE LOVE nala and simba’s reunion. also, ofc, okay this part is def my fave: the running back to pride rock UGH THAT SCENE

Toulouse: FFT FFT FFT!! that was legit the only part of the movie i remembered from watching it as a little kid. also when he and ber are fighting on the piano, i love that scene, it’s so cute.

Bambi: the part where thumper and bambi are like hanging out and thumper is teaching bambi to say shit. and he’s like BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD and he’s walking along following this lil butterfly, ugh so precious my darling.

Perdita: gosh there is not a lot of canon perdy tbh but i do love her and anita’s relationship. also when she’s kickin ass and taking names to save her babies. also how she really doesn’t want to get covered in coal and pongo says “c’mon perdy time to put on your make up!”

Sweet: everything?? about him??? he’s so great?? all his lines?? but i love the part where he’s taking care of the old king the best bc before that moment he’s kind of been liek quippy and comic relief but u get to really see his compassion and strength and steadiness in that scene and i love it.

Maui: his backstory, definitely. that was what made me really interested in playing him bc he totally models slyth but is actually a big ole puff and just wants people to love him. also i like the scene where he leaves moana after she Fucks Up (tm) i know that’s probably a weird scene to love but idk i thought it was super interesting.

Hercules: alskdjfladjkflaskjdfljfl EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM?? herc is just my precious darling. but i love how awkward he is but then how FIERCE he gets when he’s protecting people. like you think what a soft marshmellow how is he a hero and then when faced with danger he RISES and it just always warms my heart. my fave is the hydra scene bc that’s the first time he’s like rly sUCCESSFUL as a hero and it’s such a good fight and he uses his strength to his ADVANTAGE ugh i lvoe hercules.

Attina: ahaha she also doesn’t have a lot of canon, but def my favorite is when they find out that ariel has been #gettindown at the club and attina is like NO ABSOLUTELY NOT and hten everyone makes puppy faces at her and she caves so easily. i based a lot of her character on that. like she seems like a hardass but she’s rly not she wants her sisters to be HAPPY

Akela: gosh, he really does not have a lot of canon to go off of at all, in either movie. i’m gonna say the Law of the Jungle. That’s really important to his development in my head. also the scene in the live-action with grey where he tells him that the runts get eaten sometimes bc it’s like the only time he’s not the Serious Alpha but to me it just showed this like softer side to him? that was playful--and i based a lot of his character on that.

♥: One thing you love about your Muse.

Belle: laksdjflkajdf what don’t i love about belle? i mean as a character as a whole i love how inspiring she was to all young girls who loved to read and encouraging girls to be SMART and not be SHY about it. to EMBRACE their bRAINS which is such an important lesson for young girls. and i really love that about my belle too. that she is very demure about a lot of things but DO NOT QUESTION HER INTELLIGENCE. it is the one thing she will unflinchingly defend about herself and i don’t think we see that enough in female characters.

Simba: i love how much simba loves himself. i make fun of it quite a bit, bc he can be so over the top with it, but i really appreciate his level of self-care because that’s something i struggle with. like--not so much confidence, i have a decent amount of that but just, he really does take care of his overall physical health. he exercises, he showers, he eats properly (tho i mean he eats a lot too and lets himself indulge which is important). but he like idk keeps his beard trimmed and takes care of his skin and this sounds like a really weird thing to admire but since i struggle w depression, it’s nice to see ppl who function normally even tho he also struggles w depression. ALSO i love his flirting. haha. inspires me to be a better flirt.

Toulouse: kind of self care too, in a way? i love that lou is unapologetic about who he is, even when he doesn’t like himself. and he really does take care of himself before anyone else. like he does not let other’s opinions (except his siblings) influence his decisions and that’s something i struggle with. it actually makes lou one of my most genuine characters, because if he is sweet to you, if he helps you, if he protects you, he’s doing it because he wants to, not out of any obligation. as someone who struggles to say “no” to people, it’s admirable.

Bambi: ahaha honestly there isn’t much i admire about bambi. not because he’s a bad person but because he’s a teen who is still finding himself and struggling with a lot of self loathing and is in that place in his life where he is making mistakes. but, i do like that, writing him, im getting a--chance to look back and rexamine teenhood from a new perspective which is interesting and fun.

Perdita: i love how FIERCE she is. i always say perdita’s attitude is mine if i didn’t care about what people thought of me and that’s definitely true. i love that the first impression that paul got from her was she didn’t care what anyone thinks BUT i love that she really actually does too bc it just adds so much dynamic.

Sweet: gosh i love how level-headed he is. as someone who is temperamental i really appreciate characters like sweet and poca and haku who are very centered and strong and sturdy. i appreciate their calm presence in my head. i also LVOE how poetic writing him is. he’s one of my characters i feel like i can indulge lyrically in my words with the most.

Maui: i love how conflicted maui is. i love that he has this really stark duality to him and is much more than his cocky exterior and he genuinely really does care about people, not just about the attention, though that is a big draw. i also love what a BOY he is. it’s really fun to play him walking that line of fuckboi and genuine person.

Hercules: what a PRECIOUS MUFFIN HE IS. i just love the whole super strength but has no way to control it thing. it’s just a great duality to play with. like he is so gentle and so afraid of hurting people but has this awesome power. he’s just very precious to me just so sweet and good and pure.

Attina: my self indulgent bae ahaha. i love that she’s a MERMAID i love that she’s so bubbly. i don’t have any BUBBLY characters. and she’s so happy and smiley. i mean, simba is kinda like that both of them just Radiate Joy. and i also love playing sisters. i love love the family dynamic and the fact that there is so many of them, because it just leads to such RICH character development. i love what a romantic she is. i love how soft and kind but how protective. how scared but how brave. ugh my beeb

Akela: he’s another really calm person. i love that akela doesn’t linger on his mistakes. he has regrets. he acknowledges when he’s done something wrong and then--wait for it--HE MOVES ON. he doesn’t dwell. he doesn’t beat himself up. he picks himself up and dust himself off and moves on. which is so refreshing bc most of my characters are wallowers ahhaa

●: If you could say just one thing to your Muse, what would it be?

Belle: GIRL I S2G GET SOME FUCKIN SELF CONFIDENCE it just really annoys me that she needs to be poked and prodded into feeling good about herself bc she’s so BRAVE AND STRONG AND KIND AND WONDERFUL she’s perfect and she SHOULD KNOW THAT SHE IS WORTH GOOD THINGS

Simba: honey, stop, trying, to, please, everyone,, it’s not gonna work and you’re just gonna wind up making a mess of things. also i love you /pets

Toulouse: i s2g i have so many things that i could say to toulouse but if i could ever interact w some real form of him u know what i would do? i would give him a goddamn hug. just a good, long hug where he can put his lil head on my shoulder and just relax. he craves physical affection ppl

Bambi: i would give him support about his choices and tell him it’s okay to be afraid but he should be brave too bc being brave is the best fuck u to all the people who want to scare you.

Perdita: i understand why you did what you did and i don’t blame you for it.

Sweet: keep doin you babe

Maui: IT’S OKAY YOU CHEATED JUST LIVE UP TO IT NOW (also you are real hot and we should date)

Hercules: embrace ur powers lil honey u are wonderful

Attina: relax babe you should take care of YOURSElF (she won’t listen to me)

Akela: i’m sorry about your family *gives him snuggles*

♦: Relationship with your Muse.

im gonna answer this like “how does the muse come about” kinda deal bc this question is weird

Belle: well her voice comes so easily to me i love it except it’s SO thinky. she is always who i write the longest posts on bc she just examines everything but i love it bc i so do not think like that but it opens my mind to interesting thought processes i haven’t explored myself before. though i also edit her the most bc her dialogue is SO HARD. it’s getting better tho as she gets more confident but it only takes one set back to go back to stuttering and holding her tongue.

Simba: gosh. i love his voice. it’s so COLORFUL. i can write simba all day because even in his darkest moments he is so BRIGHT and he feels everything so deeply. i love his background. i love writing about africa and islam and how he is bisexual and his race (but in the little things like how he has sensitive skin and likes movies like Hairspray lol). he’s really so different from me in so many ways, but he’s also an accumulation of like all the men in my life i’ve admired so he has a v special place in my heart.

Toulouse: gosh i love toulouse. idk his voice comes SO naturally to me. he is, without a doubt, the character i just instinctually know the best. i can’t even explain it but he just popped into my head completely formed. i knew everything about him almost immediately and even the things that came later just fell into place so easily. i just love him because he is so complicated and dynamic and feels so deeply while also having a really complicated relationship with those emotions. writing him is both frustrating bc he always makes the same mistakes, but very easy for me.

Bambi: ugh i love bam. he’s another one that i just loved from the start. i wanted him for so so long before i actually got him and he just mad sense to me. i love his shyness. i like writing his view of the world since he def has so much influence from books and movies and he thinks in like tropes a lot and i’ve never written like that before and it’s super fun.

Perdita: i love how concise she is. i love all the sharp language i get to use with her. how every sentence i feel like i hit the period mark really fiercely. every sentence is important and to the point. she doesn’t like meander and as someone with flowy writing it’s nice to be able to know that i can do shorter stuff.

Sweet: UGH i love the poetry to his voice. making him a poet was a great move on my part bc i just looooove it. i love his voice. how calm. how gentle. how wise. and beautiful tbh. also all his experience is really fun to write. he’s like a fully formed person.

Maui: i think i mentioned this but what a BOY he is. i love it. i love being able to play with the line between saying shitty sexist things but not knowing they’re shitty and sexist and really being a (mostly) genuine person but not always kosher or PC or anything like that.

Hercules: im still getting used to his voice but i really like how much he curses lmao he is like FUCK FUCK FUCK in his head at all times and i love that bc he’s so soft and smol and it’s such a funny contrast. also i get to play with humor and irony a lot with him and that’s fun. hopefully i can do more allusions to mythology once i start working with his powers more and that’ll be fun

Attina: i love her OCD. i think it makes for really interesting writing because people with OCD repeat phrases and stuff a lot and always having to be hyperaware of her actions like--remembering she doesn’t like to touch people and remembering that she locks the door nine times and that she doesn’t eat food from public places. it just really plants me in her head every time i write her.

Akela: his connection to nature. tbh being able to play as a wolf im ngl. but also a LEADER that people RESPECT AND LISTen TO. also i love how his voice is sad but not depressingly so. so it makes it really interesting to write like balancing all that emotional with his cool, level-headness.

#asks #headcanons #personal #calliope-hesiod

1 note · View note

fightingdiamond · 7 years

Text

KCON LA 2017 fanaccount!!

part 1: Seventeen-teen-teen (I got to hi-touch them!!!) and a bit of VIXX~

Oh my goddd it's past 2 am as I'm writing this and I'm really worn out + still going to the convention tomorrow (Astroooo) but I wanna write this up before I go to sleep and forget 😂😂😂

First a bit about day 1, my early morning flight got delayed so I was like 😱 bad omens but the convention check-in line was amazingly smooth this year, I was prepared to wait hours in the hot sun from what I'd read online about previous years???? That didn't happen so 👍🏽

I was praying to get a Seventeen or GOT7 hi-touch with my ticket (to be clear, I only wanted GOT7 to trade for Seventeen 😉) but I got SF9 instead. Which is fine, I would've been happy to do SF9's hi-touch if I hadn't gotten Seventeen. I spent most of Friday in the trading area desperately looking for a Seventeen hi-touch, and was almost resigned to my fate/actually bought an Astro hi-touch because I thought I wouldn't get Seventeen. But one popped up at the last minute!!! I was expecting to be asked to pay $400+ and I love Seventeen but I'm not willing to spend that much money just for a hi-touch, but the seller was really kind so it worked out!!!

I don't think I really did much else Friday, just walked around looking at merch and wondering whether to buy or not 😂 I filmed myself saying random stuff about the convention to my sister! She's at school so she couldn't come with me 😓

Saturday morning I woke up and had a few minutes of panic because HOLY CRAP I'M SEEING SVT TODAY. I GET TO TOUCH SVT TODAY. It was totally unreal and I wasn't even at the event or even the convention yet, I was literally in my bed 😂 I couldn't believe it was really happening!

I felt really bad because I sold the two Seventeen audiences I got on Friday as contingency, and I know my fellow Carats really wanted that hi-touch 😭 I'm sorry Carats!!! Next time!!!

I went to the Carat fan meeting event for a bit, it was pretty cute! I've never seen so many Carats in my life before 😂 so many of them came with their parents too~

Around noon or so I was just sitting outside the expo hall and I noticed people were starting to line up, so I went over and asked what was going on. Supposedly ~some idols~ were gonna come through, maybe VIXX! So I stuck around - I wasn't planning to go to VIXX's fan engagement because it was right before Seventeen's, and I needed to line up for a good view for Seventeen 😂

I want to say it was anticlimactic, but it kinda wasn't? Sure, I was waiting there for a while, and I'm short so it was hard to see what was going on. And when they actually came through, they walked so fast I didn't have time to react! I wanted to shout Hakyeon's name but it all happened so fast that I couldn't get the words out 😂

But I did see them in real life! I was literally like, 5 feet away from them?? Hyuk was first and I actually wasn't sure if it was him for a second, either I've been out of VIXX for too long or he looks different in real life? Probably at least a bit the latter, haha. Not in a bad way tho! His face just looks softer in real life. Also, he's really tall! But at the same time, not as tall as I expected? Like, it felt like I was expecting all of them to be almost larger than life. It was really amazing seeing them in real life and just having that world-changing reality check that yeah, these are real, living, breathing humans who just happen to be celebrities. They looked so....normal, in a way? Like I see them and I realize that in some other universe where they're not idols, they're just regular people I might've known. Idk if this is making any sense, haha. Of course I've been aware of the fact that I shouldn't put idols on a pedestal - VIXX themselves have definitely taught me some lessons about how to deal with it when idols that I love do problematic things - but it's one thing to accept intellectually that idols aren't perfect, and another to actually have them in front of you without any of the usual digital barriers, just casually walking by like any other stranger you pass by on the street every day. So yeah, overall it was pretty amazing to see them, really refreshing in a way, even if it was only for a few minutes, if that.

Mm anyway, Hongbin looked as pretty as ever and Wonshik was really charismatic (although I wish he had smiled). I remember while I was doing my research for KCON tips and tricks, someone said Jaehwan looks like a doll in real life? Whoever that was, you're totally right. Can confirm. I was a bit surprised honestly, I never thought of him as a top visual in VIXX but he's astoundingly pretty. Taekwoon.....lmao I'm so sorry, I literally don't recall seeing Taekwoon 😂 I must've been distracted 😕

Overall I was pretty pleased with my luck XD I totally forgot that they were coming to the expo hall at all and I'm glad I was there just in time. Most importantly, I was really glad I'd seen VIXX first, because I felt a lot more prepared for Seventeen after that 😂

Also Kevin Woo (U-KISS' Kevin) walked past me on his way to a panel, so that was kinda cool.

It was still more than two hours until Seventeen's engagement, but I saw one of my twitter mutuals said they were already lining up for it??? So I hurried over and got in line. The fan engagements are all standing, no seats for some reason, so I really wanted a good view 😂 I talked to people in line, and made a new friend! That was actually one of my biggest fears about KCON - I'm really shy about talking to people, and I also kind of feel out of place among KCON fans. That's still kinda true, but at least I made one friend 😄

I was so nervous while I was in line, and I don't think I stopped being nervous until Seventeen had come in and were on stage, tbh. Seeing them in front of me was so calming ❤️ It was so nice being surrounded by so many Carats tho! On the screen in the hall they were playing MVs of the artists in the lineup and everyone was cheering and singing along for Don't Wanna Cry.

I recorded the whole fan engagement session including Seventeen walking in and I can upload that later, so I'll just toss out the things that stuck in my memory:

-I was WHOLLY unprepared for Jun to walk out first?????? He looks like a goddamn elf in real life, he's so beautiful. I'll still grumble about his hair being blond and grumble a bit louder about how he should eat more and fill out those cheeks again, but he's so beautiful. Similar to Hyuk, not as tall as I expected (also, I think he just has lousy posture).

-Dino????? Is so tol???? But also so smol?????? Also I'm sorry, this is going to sound REALLY weird, but his head is kinda big proportional to his body? 😂😂😂😂😂 he's still a cutie tho.

-Coups was so excited and happy, he was smiling and waving with both hands and I swooned. His black hair is gorgeous and I feel so blessed.

-Jeonghan had glasses!! I swooned again.

-Seungkwan is ADORABLE. I think up until he came out I'd just been cheering, not yelling members' names, but when he came out I just suddenly found myself screaming his name lmao. I love him ❤️

-I'm not a makeup expert by any means so I could be wrong, but they all seemed to have pretty heavy makeup on? Not a bad thing at all!!! Just a comment. It made all of them look really gorgeous. Especially Woozi, his skin looked so pristine and soft.

-I kept waiting for Hoshi but he never came 😔 I hope he's resting well and that he isn't too sick!!!

It's getting a bit late haha so I'll skip the actual session for now and talk about the hi-touch, since I don't have a video for that! They made us put our phones away, although one of the girls with me just left her phone recording in her pocket 😮 tips for next time!!

So my plan was to alternate saying 수고했어요 (you've worked hard) and 건강하세요 (be healthy) because I knew I wouldn't have time to say both to each member, and they were all close together so I hope they each heard both phrases 😅 and I was planning to speak English to Joshua and say "take care of your health", and Mandarin - 您辛苦了 (you've worked hard) and 祝您身体健康 (be healthy) - to Jun and Minghao. I really wanted to say something meaningful in the short time I had! I didn't want to say something as trite as "saranghaeyo" or anything.

Actually my rehearsed lines went pretty well, I should really give myself more credit for that. I couldn't really tell if they were more happy to hear my message than normal - of course they're always happy to meet their fans, but I couldn't tell if they were more happy than that to hear their native languages, ya know? I hope they appreciated it though 😓 ironically I actually stumbled on the English - I don't remember why, maybe I looked at Jisoo's face or something haha, but I suddenly got really shy and instead said "thank you for coming" while not looking him in the eye. He thanked me though, and I could hear the smile in his voice 😌

I'm really mad at myself about the eye contact thing though! I keep feeling bad about not looking some members in the eye; I hope they know it's out of shyness and not because I love them any less! Honestly I have this problem in real life too, my eyes will just wander during conversations 😒 I need to fix this (and not just for if I ever meet Seventeen again 😂)

Individual impressions:

-Woozi, oh, Woozi, my poor Jihoonie. He seemed super exhausted. I don't want to cause any trouble but I think Carats understand - he seemed really happy to see his fans, but at the same time very tired. His smile seemed like one of those polite smiles, but like I said, I totally understand. His lil dimples were really cute too! Also, he has a really manly vibe? LOL idk he’s so smol but also surprisingly manly????

-Seokmin, my sunshine, I think I might've talked over him by accident?????? Lmaooo I have no idea, it happened really quickly. As I was moving from Jihoon to Seokmin I think Seokmin was saying something to me, probably just hello, but I couldn't hear and by the time I realized, I was already opening my mouth to talk. I can't really remember much about his face or expression or anything but I remember getting the vibe that he was a really sweet person. It was probably his smile 😍

-Joshua: see above. I'm sorry babe! I love you, I'm just shy!

-Seungkwan, my baby boo, I'm so sorry, I barely remember hi-touching him 😭😭😭 if I ever see you again Seungkwan, I'll give you lots of love!

-Jeonghan, my angel, I think I was also too shy to look at him? I don't remember his face 😂😂😂 I love you Jeonghan! 😭

-Vernon, oh my god, Hansol, my child. He said hello to me as I moved up to him with his like, classic crooked grin and I about died on the spot. His voice is so lovely, oh my god, and the way he was smiling with his eyebrow quirked I just can't! I didn't realize until way way later that he'd talked to me in Korean (or rather, the importance of that fact). I wonder if he thought I was Korean because he heard me speaking Korean to Jeonghan? I'm under no illusions here about my Korean ability lol so I'm not sure. Either way he seemed really excited to be hearing Korean spoken to him and my heart melted when I realized that. I had purposely decided that I was going to speak Korean to Hansol for this very reason - because I remember reading about how he's lived in Korea for so long and how he said before he identifies more with his Korean side. I figured he'd appreciate a message in Korean and I feel really proud that I was right.

-Mingyu, my darling, I think I was still freaking out from talking to Hansol lmao. I love Mingyu more than....a lot of things but he didn't make much of an impression on me? Like, he was exactly how I expected him to be, no more, no less - very tall, very beautiful, very excited. It's not a bad thing 😂😂😂 thank you for saving my heart, darling!

-Coups, my love, I feel bad that I couldn't show him more love with the time I had. I had another attack of shyness around him and didn't look him in the eye 😭 I tried to touch his hand a little longer to make up for it...also I'm SO regretful that I didn't look at his face more attentively because I know he was smiling, but I didn't even take the time to appreciate his dimples 😭😭😭

-Wonwoo, my precious, I'm sorry I also don't remember much of him. Whose idea was it to have hip hop unit line up together?????????? I, a lowly hip hop unit stan, am DECEASED. I was already so overwhelmed from the others that I didn't have the capacity to appreciate Wonwoo 😭😭😭

-Minghao, oh god, Minghao, my everything. I'm not gonna lie, he stole my heart today. Recently I had been feeling increasingly fond towards him for no particular reason, so I kinda saw it coming, but after the hi-touch I was just like, wow. My life has been changed. Right before the hi-touch started, as we were lining up, I was yelling Minghao's name trying to get him to notice me. No luck 😔 but I spoke Mandarin to him during the hi-touch, and he gave me this radiant smile and thanked me in Mandarin. Holy shit, his voice. I'm still getting shivers thinking about it now. I swear to god my heart wanted to fly out of my chest. In hindsight though, I think he seemed a bit tired, similar to Woozi? I'm not sure if it's just his smile lines but yeah, he seemed kind of tired. He was really gracious about the whole thing though.

-Chan, what a smol, especially sandwiched between the two giants that are China line. LOL I mean he’s actually pretty tall too, he just gives off the vibe that makes me want to coddle him 😅 I hope he got to meet a lot of people who bias him! He deserves the world ❤️

-Jun, wow. I feel a little bad for reiterating that he's beautiful? The boy's talented too, make no mistake! Appreciate Wen Junhui 2kalways! But anyway he seemed a bit tired and withdrawn during the hi-touch, I felt a little twinge in my heart. I had a split second where I freaked out mentally over the Mandarin so I just ended up saying "you've worked hard" to him even though I'd already said it to Minghao. Actually I don't think I ended up saying anything about staying healthy to any of the members of performance unit who were present.....I feel like there's some kind of cosmic irony here. Anyway I hope Jun appreciated the Mandarin even though he didn't say anything! 😅

I really wanted Hoshi to come so I could tell him to get well soon, but of course I don't blame him. I hope he's back on his feet soon!

I was curious about Seventeen’s actual heights lmao but they were all kind of bending down/crouching to accommodate the fans! So sweet of them 😍 (but I still will never know how tall they really are.......hahaha)

God it's 4:40 already 😂😂😂 anyway! I'm gonna sleep now! I'll talk more about the concert later, but it was So Good oh my god. I've now adopted SF9 as my babies and reaffirmed my belief that Seventeen are gods 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 Vernon and Seungkwan are the sweetest little things and Mingyu and Minghao are precious together.

TL;DR: I went in to the hi-touch a Coups bias and I left a Minghao bias 😂😍😂😍😂

#kcon #kcon17la #kcon fanaccount #seventeen #seventeen hi touch #vixx #mine

0 notes

askmyboys · 3 years

Text

Anthony and Grayson

Warning before you read! TWs: nothing directly is mentioned but i will say there’s heavy undertones of some kinda physical abuse, death mentioned as well, alcohol mentions, panic/anxiety attack mentions, and tbh deep topics n bad shit in general so if any of this kinda stuff bothers you i don’t recommend reading bout em

The lads are NOT alright here :/

| Names: Anthony and Grayson

| Nicknames: Ant/Anth (there is a certain thing he could be called but, you might trigger something for him then but aha I’ll go ahead n drop what it was… ‘My precious little flower’) and for Grayson, they only have one nickname people could call them, its Gray ofc- but there was o n e particular person that called them Grays but now that brings up b a d memories and r e g r e t s :)

| Gender: Anthony goes by he/him and they/them! and Grayson just goes by he/him

| Ages: Both their ages are N/A

| Heights: Anthony is 5’3” and Grayson is 6’7”

| Species/Race: Anthony’s a human and technically Grayson is but he’s got superhuman powers, he- well, Gray would NEVER call himself a superhero again not after the horrible thing he did ...but I won’t spoil what that is yet

| Occupation: Anthony actually owns a flower shop in the Luxport City and Grayson is technically unemployed but trust me- in his days of superheroing he made a good enough amount to not worry.

| Hair Colors: Ant’s hair is an auburn color and it’s a very messy curly undercut and Grayson dyed his hair black and it’s a mess- more messy than Ant’s ever could be- its like he barely combs it (its curly but god its a r a t nest of hair)

| Eye Colors: Anth’s left eye is a light and soft brown color meanwhile the right eye is clouded over, he can’t see too much out of that eye so he usually wears an eyepatch with a sunflower for the design on it and Grayson’s eye color used to be a near legit Sparkling Sapphire Blue but now its just dull and ironically enough gray (he’s also got REALLY bad dark circles under his eyes as well as them being pretty damn bloodshot like he barely sleeps anymore)

| Skin Colors/Body Types: Ant is extremely pale- like GHOSTLY pale actually, he looks fucking d e a d in that regard- he’s also pretty skinny too- not to the point where it looks like its harmful but he’s just a skinny lad- and Grayson’s pale too but not AS bad as Ant is and his body type is fairly average- no muscular body or anything really, just, average.

| Appearances: Before I get into details, Ant doesn’t really have a circle beard while Grayson does- alrighty- so let’s start off with good ol’ Anthony! He wears a long sleeved yellow and white striped sweater along with yellow pajama pants that have MANY flower designs over it, he wears blue jean overalls with a Coreopsis flower design on the pocket in the middle, he also wears light up yellow and white sneakers with flower designs all over it as well, he has a good few scars but most of them are covered by his clothes BUT…

There are two special markings that always seems new- it never fades- it’s ALWAYS that god awful red color- One over his right eye and then one on the right side of his cheek, it's in the shape of a fist actually but Ant seems to have no memory of it whatsoever, he doesn’t even seem bothered by it- it doesn’t hurt him, hell- he doesn’t even know what the mark is anyways! So it doesn’t matter! If it doesn’t hurt him or cause him any trouble/health issues then it's whatever! Another thing he has, he has a bandaid over the bridge of his nose- ofc its yellow and has all kinds of flower designs on it and even though most of his other non prominent scars/markings are hidden by his clothing just for another smaller detail- he has a LOT of those bandaids over them actually, he likes the feeling of bandaids in general, it feels comforting to him.

| Personality: Grayson used to be pretty strict, righteous, stern, and all those fun things- He used to be everything a Hero SHOULD be both inside and out, and even though he was pretty strict and stern with a lot of things he still had an aura of sweetness, kindness, caring, and compassion to him, he used to be so protective of everyone- There wasn’t a mean bone in his body to be honest even if sometimes his strictness and stern attitude could make him seem a bit harsh- he tried not to be TOO bad, he really did actually- He never wanted anyone to be afraid of him and he still doesn’t- but now? His attitude has changed entirely, he’s not strict nor stern nor even righteous anymore- He’s not a fucking hero, don’t even DARE call him that anymore- Nobody but him knows what happened that night… As of now he’s MUCH more reserved and quiet, not caring about anything/anyone ESPECIALLY not himself, he doesn’t even take good care of himself anymore, he’s very obviously depressed, anxious like ALL the time, hasn’t slept good in god knows how long.

He looks like he’s even haunted by something actually, he hardly EVER leaves his own home or well- might as well call it a Lair, and call him a Villain at this point- He fucking HATES himself entirely inside and outside and wishes he could just disappear and not exist anymore, he hates that people still remember him being a Hero, even though he hasn’t done anything heroic in a long time- The people still thank him, they still love him, and he h a t e s it- he wishes they’d hate HIM too… He has a pretty bad drinking problem as well too, drinking is the only way he can get to sleep at night anymore, it’s either that or on the WORST of nights he needs something like Melatonin to help him pass out, crying himself to sleep never helps anymore he’s worn that out- People do still worry about him too- but he always tells them it's nothing to worry themselves about (the reason people still love n cherish him, he did specify he was retiring and there are other heroes out there to defend them, they won’t hold no ill will against him ...Well, unless they find out his dirty little secrets eheh…)

Finally, Grayson can be VERY defensive and hostile sounding toward certain topics, if certain words are mentioned, etc- but only hostile with words/empty threats, he’ll never raise his fist again unless it’s toward himself… it's best to just leave him alone ...and let him r o t…

Now onto Anthony! Anthony was and always will be a sweet summer child (he is an adult tho, they both are I’m just piss poor at Math and cant figure out proper ages n dumb shit) he’s got a heart of pure gold, he’s caring, kind, as sweet as can be, loving, and childish- now his childish nature can be both a pro and a con (must’ve been a con for Grays then h u h? ...Oops, I'm saying too much now but at this point I’m fairly certain you can piece together that they're tied in with each other somehow) his naivety and gullibleness can get him into serious trouble if he’s not careful… Ant hates it when someone gets angry at him or yells at him he starts going into a panic but that’s not what REALLY gets a panic/anxiety attack going for him, now if somebody raised their fist at him that’s when he literally screams bloody murder and he’ll probs trip and fall back into the nearest corner he can he’s NEVER a loud person, always soft spoken and so kind sounding but in this situation he’s screaming so loudly- screaming apologies and a name he doesn’t even know (he doesn’t know a person named that particular name! Or maybe its just his memory but i’ll get to that in a second)

He’ll scream and scream until his throat gets so raw and sore or his voice LITERALLY gives out on him and even then at that point he’ll probably faint, beforehand though- if he hasn’t fainted- (even if his voice winds up giving out) he’ll start flailing if the person who raised their fist at him starts coming closer, he’ll flail just to make sure he can keep them away- The next day though after he sleeps, he seems fine- he doesn’t even seem like he remembers that or anything that happened, maybe it’s him blocking it from his memory (lemme say, the lil accident that happened oh so long ago, he didn’t block it out himself, it was FORCED out of his head) he does seem to claim he has bad memory with certain things but he’s confident with his names and people he knows, he never forgets a face that comes into his life! (...or so he thinks) honestly? If you ask me personally, granted, I AM the creator of these boys- it’s best if he doesn’t EVER remember, with how he reacts to something as I stated back up there, god knows what’ll happen if he EVER gets that tossed back into his memory.

| Side Facts: Anthony’s a bit hard to really describe in the regards of life and death, it's like he’s in the mixture of both- except minus anything zombie like- no god awful smell of death, no decay on his body or anything exposed- just his skin being a deathly pale color but nobody seems to really question it- So I really can’t say he’s dead nor alive, he’s literally in the middle of both- He just doesn’t even know it, he’s just living normally really- Running his precious little flow- … His flower shop, he LOVES flowers- he always had back when, well- ya know- And before the accident happened as well- (I’ve decided I’m not explaining that in full detail yet, I really wanna write that story out actually, but uh anyone who ACTUALLY wants is free to theorize) Anthony loves all flowers really but if he had to pick, his top three favorites would be: The Bittersweet flower, Daisies, and finally ironically enough Forget-Me-Not flowers.

Working with flowers and everything plant wise in general really helps him feel at ease because even though I didn’t mention it, deep down he can get kinda stressed a lil easily, he does feel anxious a lot and he doesn’t even know why, sometimes anxiety just hits him like a brick but just gently running his fingers over a flower or plant seems to help keep him grounded.

He also loves music as well and he’ll sometimes sing to the plants and flowers, never for anybody else though- he’s too embarrassed to sing in front of anyone actual person, you know though, sometimes- even tho Ant can’t remember- sometimes he does feel something at the back of his mind, like there’s something important that he’s forgotten or forgetting- It’s why he sometimes writes his thoughts and certain things down but even then- Even when he’s done everything he wrote down, he still feels something but just doesn’t know what it is, and at this point he’s just learned to ignore it, whatever it is- surely if it was something THAT important he would have never forgotten in the first place.

I should also say Grayson doesn’t live in Luxport City anymore, ever since that one day he moved far away from there (so no, Gray n Ant have no contact and honestly, well- even tho Gray remembers Ant EXTREMELY well he doesn’t know he’s,, well… “alive” he doesn't know he’s walking around but it's for the best, these two should never come in contact with each other- god knows what’d happen) but now, Grayson- unlike Ant is HORRIBLY miserable likewise, he has nothing he does but sit in his den all day- he only goes out when ABSOLUTELY necessary- to buy some food or alcohol mostly, he doesn’t know why he buys himself food- he doesn’t deserve to eat anything- after all he DOES wanna rot away- his guilt and regret at this point is eating away at him- it’s probably going to be his downfall one day tbh.

Even though he does want everyone to hate him or something like that, he DOESN’T… necessarily want them finding out the horrible truth, he doesn’t necessarily want his secret to be exposed, he’s so scared of it being found out ...but ya know, that’s ONE good thing I can say about Gray here, he doesn’t keep trying to uphold a hero act, he doesn’t keep trying to be a hero- he coulda just went on and continued trying to be righteous and teach right from wrongs, etc- He coulda kept being a Hero but he hasn’t, and he fucking hates that word being used to describe himself, so that’s one nice thing and the only nice thing I can say about him.

#my ocs #original characters #Anthony and Grayson #superhero oc #or well i should say former superhero oc :]

0 notes