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lucy90712 · 3 months

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Road to recovery- part 8

Masterlist

Part of me was hoping that the hate would slow down a bit but of course it didn't. Every time I checked any form of social media all I saw was people posting about how much they didn't like me and assuming that I'm only friends with Pablo to gain something. I thought I'd be able to handle the comments but I just can't there has been so many more than I thought there would be and people have said such hurtful things about my appearance and my character. Pablo keeps apologising and asking if I'm ok and I just keep telling him I'm fine which is a bit of a lie but I can tell he already feels bad enough I don't want to make him feel worse by telling him how I really feel. The worst part about it is that everyone seems to be drawing attention to the things I was already insecure about which hasn't helped my mental state at all.

Today though I have a chance to cheer myself up a bit as I have a big check up with my doctor to see how my recovery is progressing. I think it's going pretty good so hopefully he agrees and says something positive as that would really lift my spirits. I've been nervous about the appointment today as well which has really made the last few days even more challenging on my mental health but I'm trying to stay positive as I know wallowing in sadness and anxiety won't do me any good.

Alonso came to pick me up a bit before my appointment; when I got in the car I expected him to tease me about everything that happened with the game this weekend but he didn't instead he asked if I was ok. I was going to lie to him too but because he's my brother he knows exactly when I'm lying so I had to tell him the truth. It was kind of nice to get all of my feelings off my chest and Alonso was really supportive and gave me some good advice. He's been through things like this before with getting hate for his performances out on track so he told me to just delete the apps off my phone for a bit that way I'm not tempted to look at what people are saying. In fact he stole my phone and did it for me as I think he knew I probably wouldn't do it myself.

Once I had my phone back I went into the hospital on my own leaving Alonso to wait in the car for me. The wait for my appointment wasn't long at all and then I went in and was immediately taken for some new scans to see how everything was healing. After scans I was subjected to a load of tests on my range of movement, how much weight I could put on my leg and how much pain I was in. The testing was rigorous and honestly quite exhausting as it's been a long time since I've done this much movement with my knee but for the most part it felt good. After I had done everything the doctor left for a while to review it all and look at my scans which left me just staring at the wall hoping to hear good news. Just as I was daydreaming the door opened again and the doctor came back in, his expression was impossible to read which for some reason filled me with a few more nerves.

"Ok Lola things aren't progressing as we would like them too internally you aren't healing as quick as we thought you would and your movement isn't at the range we would expect it to be" he said

"What does that mean?" I asked holding back tears

"For now it doesn't mean too much this can happen as we can't always accurately predict how quickly people will recover but we will set another one of these appointments in a few weeks and if we aren't seeing improvement you may need a second surgery so that we can see what's going on" the doctor explained

"Ok" was all I could manage to say

"I know this isn't what you wanted to hear but don't let it discourage you if you keep working hard you won't need the surgery" he said

We scheduled my next appointment and that was as long as I could hold it together. All of my emotions that I'd been holding onto for the last few days came out all at once, as soon as I left the hospital doors I burst into tears and I couldn't do anything to stop them. I made my way back to where Alonso parked but before I could get into the car Alonso had got out and wrapped me in his arms. He tried to get me to stop crying and tell him what was wrong but I just couldn't he tried everything to help me all of which had worked before but today nothing could stop me. Eventually he gave up and let me get in the car so we could go home because right now all I want is to just go home and get to grips with my emotions as I clearly have a lot to process.

As much as my eyes were filled with tears I could tell that Alonso didn't take the turn to take me back to my place which meant he was going to take me somewhere in hopes of cheering me up. I really didn't want to go wherever it was he was planning to go but I was sobbing too much to tell him to take me home. We went a bit further before the car stopped and I looked round a bit as at first I didn't recognise where we were but then I saw Pablo's house and realised we were just down the street. I should've known Alonso was going to bring me here but this is the last place I want to be I don't want Pablo to see me like this. I knew we said we would help each other out but I know for a fact Pablo is doing better and I know he's in a better place mentally and I don't want to ruin that by projecting my problems onto him that wouldn't be fair.

Alonso had to practically drag me out of the car and down the road which was rather easy for him as I'm not strong enough to put up too much of a fight. We walked down the street to Pablo's house where Alonso left me to ring the doorbell, part of me was hoping that he wouldn't be in even though he said he had no plans today. Of course after just a few seconds the door opened and I locked eyes with Pablo who straight away rushed over as quick as he could and wrapped me up in his arms. I wanted to stop crying but for some reason I only cried more once I was in Pablo's arms it was like he made me feel safe enough to truly let all of my feelings out. Pablo said a few words to my brother before taking me inside and allowing him to leave.

Pablo took me to the sofa and allowed me to settle into his embrace with my head buried in his chest so he couldn't see my tear stained and probably red and puffy face. His hand was gently stroking my back trying to calm me down while he whispered comforting words in my ears. It wasn't anything special what he was doing but hearing his words and feeling his hands on me did wonders in helping calm my emotions which I didn't have any control over. As my tears began to slow down Pablo kept rubbing my back and he even wiped some of the tears from my face that he could reach as I was still hiding most of my face. I never would've thought he would be so good at comforting me I mean he's always so hyper and full of energy I never imagined that he'd be any good at keeping calm and radiating that onto others but clearly he is. Once I had completely stopped crying and my breathing was getting back to normal Pablo put a hand under my chin and got me to look at him.

"Can you tell me what's wrong I hate seeing you so upset and I want to help" he said

"The doctor said my knee isn't healing properly and I might need another surgery if things don't get better" I said still sniffling slightly

"I'm sorry that sounds awful but that's not the only thing on your mind is it" he probed further

"No that's it" I lied

"Don't lie to me please just tell me what's wrong I'll do whatever I can to help and I won't judge you you know that" he said

Damn why doesn't he have to be able to read me like a book.

"Ok I've been getting a lot of hate since we were seen together at the game and it's been getting to me a bit I thought I could handle it as I'm used to criticism but I can't some people are just so mean" I admitted letting a few more tears fall

"I knew it was getting to you people on social media are assholes because they don't feel the consequences of what they say but none of what they say is true" he said

"But they keep talking about how I must be using you or how I don't deserve to even be friends with you which that part is kind of true" I rambled

"No it's not true I can't even imagine what my life would be like without you I love spending time with you just because you aren't famous doesn't mean you don't deserve to be friends with me and despite what they say I know you aren't using me I know you would never do that" he said

"And before you say anything all of the things they say about your appearance aren't true either you are beautiful inside and out and they are just jealous" he added

Hearing him say that put a smile on my face. Pablo has never really complimented me before he's told me my outfit was cool a few times but he's never called me beautiful so hearing it made me feel a lot better about myself. He must've noticed that I was finally smiling again as he told me I looked pretty when I smiled which only made my cheeks heat up but luckily my face was already red from crying so Pablo probably wouldn't have noticed. Although I kind of wish he knew how he made me feel because as time goes on it's getting harder and harder to hide my true feelings from him.

Pablo's POV

The pain in her eyes just shattered my heart. She's been my rock throughout every step of the way so far so to see her breakdown right in front of me really hurt. This whole time she's been the strong one never letting anything get to her but finally it's caught up with her and part of it's my fault because we got seen together at the game and now people are tearing her apart and one person can only handle so much. I feel so awful that I'm part of the reason she's so upset but knowing that I can be there for her and calm her down makes me feel a bit better. When she arrived she was hysterical and her brother told me he couldn't get a word out of her so he wanted me to try so that's what I did. I'm not very good at keeping myself calm at times let alone other people but I tried my best and after a while of just rubbing her back and whispering to her she calmed down. It felt good to be the one to help her because she's done so much for me that anything I can do to even remotely repay that I'll do in a heartbeat.

Hearing the way she criticised herself as well it pained me. She's the most beautiful and kind person I've ever met so to hear her say that she thought she didn't deserve to be friends with me hurt but what hurt more was to see that those horrible people got to her and made her feel insecure in herself. Throughout the time we've known each other I've always wanted to tell her just how beautiful she is but I've refrained as I know once I open the flood gates there's no going back. Once I start complimenting her I'm scared that I'll let my feelings show but today she needed it so I knew I had to take the risk. Seeing the smile that my compliments gave her made the risk feel worth it though as I'd do anything to keep her smiling 24/7.

Looking into her eyes as she smiled and blushed at my words made me feel some type of way. I've felt something for her since we first met and I've kept those feelings repressed until now but I don't know if I can do it any longer. She's just the most perfect girl I've ever met and I don't want to lose her whether that be to another guy or to the fear of what us being friends might mean for her. I have to tell her how I feel in hopes that as long as she feels the same way it gives her a reason to stick around even when things are tough like they are right now. As scary as it is I have to take the risk.

#gavi imagine #gavi imagines #pablo gavi imagine #pablo gavi imagines #gavi #gavi oneshots #football imagine #gavi x reader #pablo gavi

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cas-backwards-tie · 7 months

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Chapter One: An Unexpected Pair

COD men x Reader

Trials & Triumphs

Summary: You've been selected to lead a ragtag group of operatives through a covert long-op. Determined to take down NATO's latest focus: a prominent underground sex-trafficking ring, you're put to the test when you're unexpectedly saddled with a strike team you've only heard of through rumors: TaskForce 141.

Words: 4.2k

Warnings: Alcohol, Peer Pressure, Tension, Cursing

A/N: So... this is sort of a self-indulgence, and idk how far I'm gonna go with this, so I left it up to fate. It could wind up a simon-ghost-riley x reader or könig x reader... maybe even keegan x reader. Who knows.

Sent in by NATO, you find yourself in command of a ragtag team made up of specialists from a handful of different countries. It didn't take long to figure out that Laswell had apparently heard your request all those months ago to be considered for a project in this territory. Sure, some of the recruits for this mission were familiar, though most are not.

Handshakes all around, you take in the people you'll be spending the next few months--or possibly--years with. It doesn't take long for Laswell to brief you all on the current circumstances and protocol for this project. While you'll all have the next few hours to pack and get ready to ship out, what comes next is unexpected.

"Captain, this is TaskForce One-Four-One. They'll be your Strike team upon identification, extraction, and recovery. You'll be in close contact throughout this mission," Laswell explains with an outstretched hand presented toward the door. Everyone's eyes on the additions to your team, you're not too surprised when you spot who walks into the briefing room.

What followed devolved into more or less what you'd describe as an argument. It was unclear whether this TaskForce 141 was reporting to you, or you, to them. Laswell simply dismissed both parties' worries and insisted you figure it out on your own.

Despite the confusion, you're determined to follow through with your praised routine for missions. On the way out of the briefing room, you managed to snag their Captain's number to make a group chat for the time being. Everything in order, you text the plans for this evening. Everyone is to pack their belongings in order to ship out tomorrow morning at 04:00 hours. Once they're done with that, they can meet up at Rockie's, one of the bars just a few minutes walk off base for an icebreaker.

There was the debate of dressing up. Revealing your features, having fun with some of the buddies on your squadron you'd done dozens of missions with, yet, this isn't that. It's not a celebration or a victory; not a job well done, this is a meeting... an introduction. Therefore, bare face is out of the question. If anything, it's best to stay on guard until you get to know the outliers on this project.

Nevertheless, that doesn't mean you can't have a good time with your friends while still getting to know the others! Eyes scanning over the warmly lit bar, you revel in the mid-week relative quiet. In all honesty, it's not quiet, but considering how rowdy it can get on the weekends or after a homecoming, it sure can be described that way. There's a game of pool going on in the back corner, and a game on the televisions on either side of the bar. Though you're more intrigued by the small crowd of people flitting about. Elbow keeping you propped up against the dark wooden bar table, you watch one of the bartenders mill about, hopefully, getting your drinks.

"Was not expecting to see you here, Cap," Keegan voices his surprise. He'd been holding it in the entire meeting, eager to congratulate you on what can only be considered a promotion of sorts. Being put in charge of a covert long-op is something usually only experienced vets get put on. While you're not a newbie by any means, he hadn't anticipated seeing you on the mission, let alone in charge of it. "Can't wait to see how you go about this." With a pat to your back, the exposed rounds Keegan's cheeks rise. You can tell he's smiling.

Returning from the bathroom, McKay and Wilson laugh alongside one another. A small smile graces your lips; you're not sure where you'd be if you hadn't been fortunate in meeting and getting to know them. Junior Lieutenant Amala McKay you'd been through basic with, having both enlisted at the same time. While you hadn't known each other prior, it was safe to say that you'd both come from fairly different worlds and mindsets... yet, opposites attract, right? Corporal Olivia Wilson you'd met upon resettlement after graduation, being stationed at the same base and in the same sector. She was a tough nut, that's for sure. Though through your hard work she'd easily come around and determined you were a strong enough character to befriend.

"Keegan, this is-" raising a hand toward the approaching women, you offer what you can of a smile from behind your balaclava.

"Private McKay," Keegan greets. With an extended hand, McKay easily meets it with her own, tugging him into a shoulder bump of sorts. That sort of stereotypical 'bro' greeting you've gotten accustomed to in the military.

"You'll be pleased to know it's Junior Lieutenant now, Sergeant!" She informs him, a smile instantly lifting her already bright demeanor, the woman practically beaming with a sense of pride.

"Corporal Wilson," the slightly shorter blonde woman greets. Her typical stoicism replaces the jovial attitude she'd had upon exiting the bathroom.

"Sergeant Keegan Russ," he responds with a nod and firm handshake.

"Oh great," Wilson sighs, ducking her head. Following her reaction, the group spots who's just walked into the bar. You may not know him personally, but you've seen him around and have heard a thing or two about Commander Phillip Graves. Alongside him walk in the other assigned specialists Laswell and NATO had enlisted at the behest of KorTac, a separate private military contractor from yours.

McKay nudges Wilson with her elbow, eliciting a groan from Wilson as she drags a hand down her face. "You know them?" Keegan questions, an eyebrow raising from what you can spot beneath his balaclava.

"Me? No... but it seems Wilson does," you answer, teasing your friend. Wilson shakes her head, blonde hair obscuring her features as she turns on her heels and announces that she needs a drink, departing in favor of the bar.

"Wonder what that's about," Keegan voices his thoughts aloud, curious eyes following Wilson's retreating figure. While your gaze turns in suit, it's only a few seconds before you're drawn back to your previous line of sight with a call of your rank.

"Captain, right?" It's him: Phillip Graves. Taking in the approaching figures, you nod, extending a hand out toward the man. "This your team?" With a reciprocated shake, the Commander grips your hand tighter than needed, an abrupt shake leaving your brows tensing just subtly beneath your balaclava.

"Once upon a time, maybe," you respond. The playfulness in your tone may go over the Commander's radar, however Keegan releases a quiet chuckle to himself. "Meet Sergeant-"

"Keegan Russ," announcing his own namesake, he only offers a nod in the Commander's direction before turning to the two others beside him.

"That there's Junior Lieutenant-" you extend an arm in presentation.

"McKay," Amala finishes, extending a firm shake to each of the men before her. "It's a pleasure to meet you, though I'm gonna go check on Wilson," she excuses herself. With that announcement, your eyes flit over to the blonde hunched over the bar haphazardly sat on a stool.

"I'll be back," Graves states, heading off in the direction of the bar--which leaves you worried for half a second--till he swerves under the signs leading to the restrooms.

"Hello." The man that'd been next to Graves looks like a dwarf in comparison to the Giant beside him, however the fact that he still looms over you in the way most of your associates do says something. "I am Horangi," he introduces himself, extending a hand. Adorned by a plain black face mask and dark sunglasses, they both leave room for mystery. He has an accent, and while you know where he comes from based off the files you'd obtained in advance of your meeting this afternoon, his voice wouldn't be a signifier otherwise.

"Nice to meet you, Horangi," you respond, introducing your own last name and ranking of Captain. With a gentle grip and firm shake, you offer him a smile from behind your balaclava. As soon as he proceeds to introduce himself to Keegan, you move onto the only one left: the Giant.

"Hallo Captain," the Giant greets, "I am König. It is nice to meet you." Though he doesn't offer a hand, you do. Watching the man's eyes shift behind his mask at the movement, he has to crane his neck downward in order to see you properly. Simultaneously, you also have to crane your neck upward to meet his gaze. It's awkward, but the man accepts your offer and brings his gloved hand up to gently shake your much smaller hand before quickly releasing it.

The files aren't needed to know by his accent that this is the Colonel KorTac sent. The insertion specialist, if you remember correctly. While you hadn't had a great lengthy time to look over everyone's files, you'd at least gotten a vague general sense of their positions and rankings. "It's a pleasure to meet you too, Konig," you respond. "Everyone's just getting here, so feel free to get a drink, look around. I don't know how familiar you two are with this base." König nods in response to your words, a quiet 'Danke' passing between you before he follows his partner's lead and introduces himself to Keegan as well.

Just in time, the server from earlier drops off the drinks you'd ordered. Keegan grabs a beer, while you partake in the cider you'd gotten yourself, the few shots on the tray up for grabs since you'd wanted to provide ground for a casual vibe. The server asks if the two new additions to your group would like to order anything. Both men seem interested but ask questions that leave the server amused and offering for them to follow him to the bar to give them samples and an actual menu.

Deciding to take a seat at the barstool on one side of the table, you're joined by Keegan, a friendly but comfortable silence lingering between you two. Some of the hot oldies play, garnering a few bouts of singing along inbetween sips of cider. It's only once she's gotten her drink that McKay rejoins the table with a glass of beer. She's always been one for tradition, you'd come to learn.

"Nice of 'em to finally show up," Keegan comments under his breath before downing the last of his bottle. He places it on the tabletop before standing, tacitly offering his seat up to McKay before nodding towards the bar. You get his gist and nod in response; he's going to get another drink.

"Want a shot?" You offer to your partner, eyes finally taking the time to take in who Keegan was referring to. Swiveling on your stool, you face diagonally to the entrance. Under the warm lights of the bar walk in a group of four men, one of them unintentionally signifying their identity in the form of a skull mask.

"Why the hell not? If we're off to Al-Mazrah tomorrow then I'll need it, huh?" She laughs, nudging your bicep with her elbow. An amused smirk sets upon your lips beneath the balaclava, though your eyes don't leave the group lingering by the door. It only takes your lackluster response to earn the addition of Amala's attention. "You seem apprehensive," she comments, following suit as you both take in their appearance. "Can't blame you though. Did you even know they were on call for this?"

The slight clench of your jaw gives her the answer you really hadn't wanted to provide. You wish she hadn't asked, but there's no doubt the information would come out sooner or later anyway. "No... but there's no reason we can't make it work. Right?" You reassure. Though if you're honest, you don't know if it's directed more toward her or yourself. Motion a second nature by now, you pull down your balaclava just enough to down the rest of your cider before pushing the bottle into the middle of the table alongside the shots. Hands on the polished table, you push yourself off the stool to stand. "Speaking of-" Interrupted, all eyes in the bar jump to the loud and boisterous voice by the front doors.

"'EYA GRAVES, LONG TIME 'N NO SEE!" A loud and booming accented voice signals you in on its owner. Through all the files you'd skimmed, there was only one person from this place, and while you usually have a harder time pinning few similar accents, this one is more pronounced in this moment. John MacTavish, the only Scottish member of Taskforce 141.

Watching the loud soldier head toward the bar, the rest of them walk over to a table just a few feet away, another bar table set in the distance between. The darker-skinned man takes off his hat and jacket, placing the items on a barstool before turning to a mustached man who shreds his own jacket. While they converse, it becomes clear how they're setting up camp at their own table, not bothering to even introduce themselves first unlike the people who were relatively on time according to your instruction.

"Should we-?"

"I'll go over, try to get them to join," you announce. Hand coming up to halt Amala from getting up, you send her a knowing look before leaving her with a quick playful wave. While it should be easy to squeeze into their conversation and welcome them to your team, you find yourself daunted. Whether it's the infamous skull mask everyone has heard rumors of, and his unflinching cold stare, or the fact that they're all a part of one of the special black ops taskforces you'd only heard were solely fiction made up to scare newer recruits until today. Nevertheless, a group of tall men in uniforms, bigger, and presumably stronger than you isn't anything new. Though for whatever reason, you can't help but stumble in place as a shiver runs through your body.

"Ay, it's the Cap'in, innit?" Eyes shifting over and up to the man speaking, you hadn't expected such a gruff and deep voice from him.

"Indeed, it is. Pleasure to meet you..." The amused, partially giddy smile begins to crack at the seams of your stoicism. No matter how old you get, there's no denying the universe girlhood that's currently peeking through: your fondness for men with accents.

"Cap'in Price," he announces, a hand extending outward across the man beside him. "Good to meet ya." With a firm shake, you give him a nod of your head in response. It's interesting to meet someone of the same ranking, though from another country, not to mention a different unit altogether. You're curious to hear about his profession and see how he handles situations. While their Captain may be a decade or two your senior, you can admire the nice beard he has going on.

"You've got head on this op, isn't that right?" Eyes shifting over and up at the man right beside you, he crosses his arms in front of his chest. "Name's Kyle, but you can call me Gaz," he informs you, an easygoing smile on his lips. You can admit to yourself that he's attractive, his big nose suiting the features of his face, thick eyebrows, plump lips, curious dark brown eyes. Before you can finish introducing yourself to Gaz, the forming smile that'd been tugging at your lips comes to a halt.

"An' you've got us out here, hours before departure. For what?" The smile dies. Everyone's attention shoots over to him: Ghost. You'd heard of him, sure. Even a continent away the rumors spread; he didn't have a name, only a motive: kill or be killed.

Searching his eyes, it only takes a fraction of a second to see the questioning, the frustration, the anger. You'd been known as a good people reader, and while masks might make things a bit more difficult, the dim lighting of the bar only exacerbates the shadows surrounding his face. A cocky smirk instinctively displays itself on your lips beneath the mask. With a shake of your head and an amused breath huffing out your nose, you finally meet his eyes again. "To get to know one another. There's no point in going out there if you can't even begin to try and see how your other operatives think."

"An' you think drinkin' and makin' idle chitchat is gonna fix that?" He questions. Eyebrows raising beneath your balaclava you don't stand down or look away this time. You're not willing to give him the sort of submission he might expect. While your ranking does stand higher than his, you also know that when it comes to the military, there's no shortage of misogynistic men. It's too soon to judge, and he's certainly made no clear indication of that mindset, but his questioning raises flags on your end that might be worth looking out for.

"No, but it's a start," you retort. Crossing your arms over your chest you turn from facing him head-on to open yourself back toward the other men. "When you'd get off your last deployment?" You inquire. Either Ghost's simply getting ahead of the game and is putting himself in the mindset he may need for whatever this mission calls for, or something tells you he might still be holding onto whatever baggage came with the last.

""Bout three weeks ago, innit?" Gaz comments, head swiveling as he double-checks with the Captain who nods in confirmation. Though your sightline is more directed toward Ghost, you don't miss the way Gaz attempts to subtly nod over toward the bar. "Why?" The seemingly talkative one of the bunch says, attention back on you.

"Just curious," you answer. Surely that question isn't a common one, but you were genuinely interested. "And regardless, I know Laswell said we need to hash this out, but for the moment, I appreciate you coming. I think it's important to get to know everyone we'll be working with the next few months." While you take your time with your words, you don't let it go over their heads that their participation is expected from you. Business out of the way, you gently slap on Gaz's back--he was closest--and smile. "Now why don't you go get a drink!"

The men to your right chuckle, the Captain and Gaz instantly brought out of whatever tension was between you and Ghost and into much higher spirits. "Can't say no to that!" Gaz comments, starting to walk away and toward the bar. The Captain turns to leave before slinging an arm around your shoulder and guiding you away from their table.

"Don't you mind him. He's... a tough nut, yeah? He'll come around, eventually. Good soldier- does what he needs to. I can assure you I don't think we'll have any trouble, just... let him come around, alright?" Captain Price speaks quietly, though you wouldn't exactly call it a whisper. Eyes roaming over his shoulder to spot Ghost in the same position you'd all left him, you can't help but wonder what the hell his problem is. The Captain comes to a stop, his eyes searching your face as you haven't responded and he's waiting.

"Sounds like a plan," you concede, nodding for good measure. The Captain offers a smile before leaving you with a friendly slap on the back. With a lick of your lips beneath the fabric, you try and think of what to do next. Vision drifting around the room in search of someone, it isn't long before you find them. Walking back to your table, you see McKay slowly acquiring a frothy foamed mustache from her beer.

“Do you know who that this?” Your comrade, McKay, questions, baffled by your audacity to command the 141 and their Lieutenant around. She shifts between staring at him over her shoulder and looking away.

“Only by rumor,” you answer. Everything you’d heard up until now had all been gossip. Stories, tales that were woven by people who’d simply heard something from someone, and the list went on. All of it could be chalked up to nothing. You don’t know him, you haven’t heard of his work and the exact details through any trustworthy sources so all in all, you can’t bring yourself to care about the rumors.

"Well, he seems like trouble. Don't know he's going to follow orders willingly... might even go rogue," McKay comments between sips of her beer. Her brown eyes shift over to meet your gaze, unsurprised that it's still stuck on him. "Wouldn't let it get to you though." Her attempt at relieving you only spurs on the challenge in your mind. Amala's eyes narrow as she has a guess at what you're thinking, or rather, planning.

Being close to the woman, you know she'll catch on. With a quick flash of a smile in her direction, gaze torn from the mysterious figure, you steer her off your scent. "Maybe I'll offer them the shots? At least try to get on their good side," you offer.

"Sounds like a plan," she muses, teasingly quoting a pleasantry you'd often make. With a raise of her stein, she wishes you the best of luck with a pat on the back.

Carrying the tray over, your eyes drift over to the folks at the bar. It seems that the KorTac folks have finally settled on drinks, while Graves and Wilson talk, clearly making some type of progress. For the better, you can only hope. Keegan's gaze catches yours upon surveying the premises; with smiles exchanged, he too, offers a raise of his beer. It's then that Gaz introduces himself, the Captain quickly following suit. Entirely all too aware of the piercing gaze following your figure from the Taskforce's table, irregardless of your attention. You won't give him the satisfaction. Nearing the table, you can feel your heart racing in your chest, nerves climbing up your spine, latching onto whatever crevices they can reach.

With careful hands you set the tray on their table, gently pushing aside the condiment carrier, making sure nothing falls. Hand encircling the glass, you pull down your balaclava just enough to expose your lips before sipping at your second cider. "What's this?" He finally speaks. "Tequila shots?" The Ghost asks, taking a step closer toward the table.

"A peace offering. You might think it's stupid, but in getting to know my team, I usually get them the food and drinks--on me--when it's an activity I deem necessary. So, by all means--"

"An' who's this lovely bird? You not gonna introduce me, Ghost?" Interrupted, you turn to meet the sound of people approaching. The quiet groan that slips past Ghost's reserve doesn't go unnoticed by you, but you play none the wiser.

Gaz shoves his hip into the curiosity you'd read was John 'Soap' MacTavish, the codename, you couldn't possibly surmise a reasoning to. "Bloody hell," he curses, "That's the Captain, idiot!" With either hand around his teammate's shoulders, the bump from Gaz sends him leaning into their own Captain, John. It only now crosses your mind that with two Johns on their team the need for codenames must be more a necessity than simply security.

"Please excuse him, he might have..." the Captain's words trail off as he looks over Soap's shoulder at Gaz. "What was it you said? He went pre-gone? Decided to do a premie?"

Gaz slides Soap's arm off his shoulder before crumbling in half, hands on his knees as he laughs. "Pre-game! He decided to Pre-game, Price! Hell," the man snorts every once in a while as he laughs his ass off.

"Mm," you hum. "He pre-gamed, I see. No worries-" you begin to excuse the soldier, even if amusement rumbles in your chest, threatening to come out in an equal fit of laughter.

"Captain what?" Soap asks, his other arm slinking off their Captain's shoulder only for the man to push Soap toward one of the stools.

"Fuckin' idiot," Ghost curses more to himself than anyone.

"Oh, you're talkin' codenames already?" Graves rounds the table to stand between Soap and Ghost, a beer bottle settled in his grip.

"Anyway, since it seems everyone's coming over I got a round of shots for you all. Please feel free," you announce. While sliding the respective shots on the tray in the direction of the people surrounding the table, you purposefully lift Ghost's shot and place it before him. If anyone needs to relax, it's clearly this man.

"Watch out!" You hear Keegan's voice before you feel his gloved hand on your waist, tugging you out of the way. Wilson and McKay slide the nearest table together, making the table big enough for all of you. "Thought we'd make it big enough for everyone to sit together," he informs you.

"Thanks, Keeg," you respond. A smile unconsciously tugs across your lips as you hadn't realized anyone had cared enough to notice and join your efforts to try and get everyone together.

With the rejoining of König and Horangi at the end of the table, you're all together. "Any ideas for a team name?" McKay questions, looking around the big table.

This question elicits lots of laughs and verbalized thoughts, which in turn manage to garner everyone's opinions. All in all, you'd say that things may have start off rocky, but have finally turned into a proper icebreaker. While everyone might have differing opinions and feelings about the people on their team, you can at least say that now you're beginning to get to know the people you'll be working with. One can hope it'll lead to friendship and smooth sailing when it comes to group dynamics, but you suppose only time will tell that story.

~~~~~~

forever taglist: @ohdamnadam , @safarigirlsp , @jynzandtonic , @moonlightsolo

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smoothshine · 2 years

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"...your hands can heal, your hands can bruise;

I don't have a choice, but I still choose you"

PS: Long story short - I finished this piece during last weekends, I just finally got some good pictures to show you, so here they are!

I'm slowly getting back on track from my break, although I'm still in a recovery process, so hopefully I can get into real-time drawing next week:)

#royai #roy mustang #riza hawkeye #fullmetal alchemist #fmab #fullmetal alchimist brotherhood #fanart #fma fanart #traditional art #smoothshine draws #if you caught the song reference - have a virtual cookie:) 🍪#obligatory warning to open the images for better quality

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danpuff-ao3 · 7 months

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Rest, Recovery, Worry

My therapist tells me that writing is who I am. She stated at our last appointment that I light up when I talk about writing. She was glad to hear I'd been writing again, since it's been so long since I have.

Life has been pretty rough for months now. Right now is not the worst of it, but things still aren't great. I'm pretty permanently exhausted. I feel stuck where I am. My anxiety is bad.

So for the past few months I've just...given myself grace? In a way, anyway. I let myself laze around in my off time. My partner and I have been having horror movie marathons every weekend. I finished season 2 of Our Flag Means Death (finally!), and we started season 2 of Wheel of Time, and I plan on nudging him to start season 2 of Good Omens soon. Oh, we also started watching the Chucky TV series (we finished season 1 last weekend!)

It feels like a whole lot of nothing. It's been nice. I also feel a bit...off. Like I'm just floating through life. I miss creating. Even if it's not writing...Bookbinding or scrapbooking or...jewelry making, even. Even reading again would feel more real to me. I need to "do" something, and I worry that if this keeps up, I might never be able to "do" anything again.

My recent poking at Scrivener has felt so useless, but I think it's a step in the right direction, even if I don't finish anything anytime soon. "Progress is progress", as I like to say.

A lot of my recent struggles are related to ongoing issues of...People expect so much from me, in my life. When they know me and see what I can do, they expect so much, and so rarely appreciate any of it. And now especially I'm so close to another anniversary of leaving the Bad Fandom Space, and being so aware of those old wounds. The same wound opened over and over again.

My everlasting need to be productive...I really need to untie my creativity from my productivity. Maybe I'd enjoy it more, and maybe it would heal me more, if I could manage that. Instead, I look at my pitiful word counts, and see how far I am from the end, and feel defeated all over again.

But I do feel more "me" since I've been at least trying to write. And I invested in a new Cricut Maker that will, hopefully, encourage me to craft more. And I have plenty of future appointments scheduled out with my therapist.

Anyway, I've felt so absent lately, and I'm trying to find my way again, so I figured I'd come chat into the void for a bit. And maybe someone out there will listen 💛

#danpuff stuff #personal #mental health

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thewulf · 1 year

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Hey =) i've got a huuuge idea concerning Hangman and Rooster. If it's not your style or you don't like it, just ignore me :D just want to get rid of it :D

Reader is a former police officer, but now is working at the hard deck. Her last undercover work went terribly wrong and she was hurt really bad (got captured and held in an damp and cold cellar. Lost a kidney due to a stab wound). After her recovery she left town and wanted to start a new life. Now working at the hard deck she quickly make friends with rooster and Hangman. They are always protective of her and Hangman (or rooster) is also in love with her and she with him, but they don't know that the other is feeling the same. Due to her injuries from her last undercover work she has some health issues, often problems with her lungs (infections) and often has a fever and pain in her side because of her lost kidney. The boys always keep an eye out on her, to keep her safe, also when she's feeling sick. One night Hangman (or rooster) start to date a bitchy girl (just to distract him from the deep feelings he has for the reader) and she absolutely hates the reader. So she tries to destroy their friendship. One evening the reader accidentally overhears this bitchy girl, telling Hangman and Rooster that the reader is just a burden for them, with heer health issues and nightmares. It hurts the reader so bad, that she shuts yourself out of the friendship between you H and R. All alone her nightmares get more, she can't eat or drink enough and also now there's no one to help her through her bad health times. With a raging fever alone at home, she feels like nothing more than a burden, like this bitchy girl said.

Well.... That was long. And I'm sooooooo sorry to disturb you with my shit. But there's a glimpse of hope that you can maybe use some ideas of mine.

Thanks for writing and sharing your stories 💞 and sorry for my terrible English, it's not my first language

Lot's of love

Anonymous N! This is insane (in the best way!).

Your English is NOT terrible at all! Don't say that :)

My mouth dropped reading through the request, this is so detailed and angsty! I love it.

I'm definitely going to add this to this list! I've got 2 requests in front that I'm hoping to get out this week so hopefully I can start working on this this weekend :)

I'm probably going to have to split it into 2/3 parts :)

I'm trying to get better at writing angst (fluffy lover over here), so this is going to be fun to try and take a crack at!

I'm a sucker for a happy ending so I will be writing a good ending... unless you're super opposed that is!

I'll probably do it as a Hangman x Reader with Rooster being a bestie!

Thank you for the request!!

#jake seresin x reader #jake seresin fanfic #jake seresin #hangman fanfiction #hangman fluff #hangman angst #rooster x reader #rooster fanfic #rooster fluff #rooster top gun #rooster angst

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jamiepage19 · 10 months

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Update on Haunted by the Opera Ghost

So. I'm still here. Suffering from severe writer's block and an extreme lack of motivation, but still here.

This chapter has consistently kicked my ass for months now. I think I've torn it apart and rewritten it like four times now. Not an easy feat considering that each rendition was over 2,600 words. And with each rewrite, my confidence dwindles and my insecurity over whether or not I should even be doing this grows. This is a pivotal chapter and I feel like I'm in a war with my characters lol. I have this carefully constructed plot with things I can and cannot do in order to progress said plot and stay true to my ending, and my characters are literally FIGHTING me.

That's a thing, right? It's okay. I'm okay.

It hasn't helped that I had surgery to fix a failing knee implant back in May, and the surgery actually made things a shit ton worse. My knee literally disintegrated while they were in there. So guess who now needs a total knee replacement at the ripe age of 40 instead of the partial they originally had done back in 2019? This girl right here. So yeah. Recovery has been a bitch, and the constant pain (and Lupus--FFS I cannot make this shit up. God I've had a fucking hell of a year. Sigh) and not being able to do simple things like laundry, housework, and yard work (seriously, the only thing I have wanted to do this summer is make my backyard look pretty) has brought a good dose of depression along with it. The only solace I've found lately has been playing the new Zelda game and avoiding everything else.

Anyway. This right here is an attempt to pull myself up by my boot straps. I've been writing fairly steadily the last couple of weeks, and while the progress I've made is small, it's still progress. I think I'm finally satisfied with the latest rewrite and have set myself up to finish the chapter in a way that doesn't conflict with my overall vision of this story. I'm also slowly responding to reviews on FFN and AO3, so if you haven't heard from me yet, you will. Just give me time. Every day is a battle right now, but I can get through this.

So yeah. Thank you for coming to my pity party. There will be party favors at the door. In the form of a chapter update. Hopefully very soon. If you read this til the end, you are a saint and I love you.

TL;DR - Life sucks but maybe a chapter update this weekend???

#haunted by the opera ghost #update on chapter update #writing #writer's block #the worst #knee replacement #living with lupus #thank you for sticking with me #I'm okay #really

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the-graves-family · 7 months

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19. Floral Bouquet | Psychological

Ace wakes up to the smell of breakfast. Must be a weekend.

Or not. Really, he doesn’t know if Aaron only works on weekdays. It could be Wednesday. All he knows is that he works at a place with blood, and that he keeps weird hours. Could be a lab, could be the mob. He’s not allowed to know.

Today is already strange. Aaron is awake and in the house, but Ace’s door is not being kicked in, there’s no shouting. No, just breakfast.

Breakfast that smells like the biscuits Uncle used to make when they were younger. That stings a little, knowing that something that small could still get to him.

He could go back to sleep. He should go back to sleep. Take advantage of the peace and get as much rest as he can. Who knows what Aaron has planned? Maybe it’s a good day, and he’s just going to be ignored again. Hopefully not for too long, this time.

It could have been minutes or hours before there’s a knock on his door.

Wait.

There’s a knock.

Aaron’s knocking.

Did Ace hit his head again?

He’s not sure if he’s meant to answer, but that problem solves itself when the doorknob turns and Aaron pokes his head into his room. Ace’s heart jumps, and he bolts upright on his bed, expecting the worst, but his twin just looks… normal. Not angry, not bored, just neutral.

“Hey, breakfast.”

Maybe he’s still asleep. It’s the only thing that makes sense.

“You need any help getting up?”

Ace blinks, and autopilot kicks in, making him shake his head while looking at the floor. He’s not even sure if his brain processed the question correctly.

“Cool. Come on, before the food gets cold.”

With that, his twin leaves, and Ace is left picking up the pieces. Well. Better do what Aaron asked. Still a little stunned, still trying to understand, he shuffles to the edge of his bed and starts putting his leg on. It doesn’t hurt too bad, today.

Taking a deep breath, dreading whatever game Aaron is going to play, Ace gets up and slowly makes his way into the living room and kitchen.

It is the biscuits Uncle used to make.

Everything feels surreal as he’s asked (asked, not told) to sit down, and Aaron puts down his food in front of him. Fresh and still warm. Ace blinks and dares to glance up at his twin, but he doesn’t find any mockery or anger. It’s almost like they’re normal. Almost like Aaron didn’t beat him unconscious two days ago.

He’s almost half-expecting to find blades in the biscuits.

There’s a vase with bergamots in the centre of the table. It can’t be a coincidence. Aaron knows he was obsessed with it as a kid.

What the fuck is going on?

After months of just putting him through hell, Aaron’s just… being nice? Ace is not naïve enough to think that his brother’s changed. Nobody changes, not this quickly, not for no reason.

“Ace, you need to eat something.”

There it is again. No yelling, no anger. Aaron sounds… concerned.

God, all of this is making his head hurt.

Ace never cared for psychology. He doesn’t know what ‘recovery phase’ means.

With a shaking hand, wrist bruised and slightly swollen, he starts eating. It’s good. His twin’s always been good in the kitchen, and it shows. An unintentional hum leaves him, and he almost chokes, waiting for Aaron to lash out at him for making noise, but his brother just smiles at him. A nice smile, not his usual smirks.

“Good, huh?”

Ace nods, a little uncertain, and Aaron goes back to his own food.

Maybe… maybe it was a phase. Maybe all the anger and the violence has just been a reaction to Ace coming back after running away.

Maybe he’s forgiven.

Maybe things are going to get better from now on.

#whumptober2023 #no.19 #floral bouquet #psychological #oc #fic #abuse #spoiler alert it did not get better #(ace)#(aaron)#(writing)

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azikarue · 8 months

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A life and writing update rolled into one. 🐈

I had every intention of kicking myself into gear to brainstorm, outline, draft, and begin fine-tuning my TyHil Love Countdown entries in time to have a few strong fills to post during the event in November. I came up with what feels like an ambitious, but fun and fulfilling, idea and was in the outlining phase when something derailed my progress.

Last Sunday, I yanked a stray kitten out of some bushes on the side of the highway. She was shivering, starving, and being eaten alive by parasites inside and out. Thankfully, I was able to get her to the vet promptly, and she's making a speedier recovery than I would have ever thought possible. I love her to pieces, but nursing her back to health and balancing her care with my other pets' care, the adjustments that come with a new pet, and all of life's other minutiae has effectively eaten up my free time.

Today is my first real day with some leeway in my schedule. Naturally, I spent a good chunk of my morning feeling personally victimized by my uterus 😑 and I have some things to get done around the house, but I'm going to attempt to finish my outline (my original plan for last weekend) and hopefully set myself up to write some rough drafts this month so I don't wash out of the event entirely.

But, even though I've been feeling frazzled, I'm so beyond grateful for the way things have played out with my newest little friend and very excited for the TyHil content I will eventually have the privilege of putting out into the world. 🤍

P.S. Thank you to @too-raph who's been in the thick of it with me the whole way, from digging through bushes to taking care of the poor little thing when I'm stuck at work. You're a lifesaver!

#if you like cats or TyHil this update is for you #otherwise carry on down your dash #azrupdate #azikarue #azikarue394

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heyitssashag · 1 year

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People are weird.

The first half of this post is me on my “pity pot” so bear with me.

I’ve been staying busy to keep my mind off my upcoming surgery on Tuesday. My counsellor told me to reach out to friends and family and let them know how this has all been impacting me and maybe set up short chats over the weekend just to connect. Isolation and loneliness is tough. Unfortunately, it can also hinder recovery. Honestly, I didn’t really want to bother anyone with my worries. However, if there ever was a time to reach out, now would be that time (or so my counsellor says). It’s not like I see everyone very often. (Nowadays, it’s just over text.) I’m generally a very low maintenance friend. lol.

Anyway, I did just that. I reached out. I understand it’s the long weekend, with gorgeous weather and people are busy or away. I’m not so self involved where I feel that everyone needs to drop what they’re doing to talk to me. People have lives and I totally understand that. I once had a life, too. lol.

Unfortunately, I have had a very underwhelming response. One person even replied with, “Sorry, got plans. Good luck.” I’m like wtf… this isn’t a hangnail, man. I’m getting hardware screwed in and a part of my neck rebuilt. Absolutely zero empathy. I was surprised - in a bad way. This is someone I considered to be one of my best friends. I texted back, “Thanks” with a thumbs up. I suppose I should be happy that they even acknowledged me. Which is more than what I can say for almost everyone else.

Thankfully, I do have a friend who got back to me and has made time tomorrow afternoon for a Zoom chat. I know I need to focus on the people who do show up and make that time. I am incredibly grateful for that. It feels good to be thought of and supported.

Okay, I’m going to stop whining now.

Today, I cleaned out the fridge and had my groceries delivered. They totalled nearly $450 and I’m like… what did I buy? It doesn’t feel like I got that much. Groceries are so expensive, now. I did get a lot of non-food items too (laundry soap, TP, paper towel, dishwasher soap, etc) so I know those add up but c’mon. This sucks.

Ugh. I feel like I’m turning into my grandma when she goes on about how she used to be able to buy a loaf of bread for a nickel.

Okay, now I’ll stop whining. lol

I did get on the elliptical for 30 minutes which made me feel a little better. Yay!

Then I got out for my walk. I bought all those groceries and still ended up having lunch at the cafe. lol. I ordered cauliflower soup, a decaf latte and an asparagus cheese pastry thing. It was really good - but filling - so I could barely get through half of it.

It felt nice to be in the trees, today. I wish it didn’t heat up so quickly, though. I headed home a lot sooner than what I wanted to. Tomorrow I’ll head out much earlier so I can go longer. I dragged my ass today.

Yesterday, I got my latest Conquerer Challenge medal in the mail (120.77km). This is the last one for now (aside from the yearly one I’m working on). I don’t know how I’m going to feel after surgery so I decided against signing up for another. Plus, I think the novelty has officially worn off. I don’t participate in the groups anymore, either. Now that in-person races are back in full swing, I rather just train for one of those. I’ve completed 29 Conqueror Challenges and I’m trying to think of an innovative way to display the medals without it taking up too much space. These aren’t “typical”. They’re like little works of art. lol

Anyway, when I got home, I showered and put my pj’s back on. lol. I just want to be comfortable. Now I’ve turned into a blob and will entertain myself with mindless shows and fiction. I’m going to finish the last few episodes of Loudermilk and listen to an audiobook. I already have my tea beside me. Just need to grab my heating pad.

Hopefully, I’ll hear back from more people by the end of of the weekend. Even if it’s just to say hello.

#metastatic breast cancer #ranting on my blog #whining on my blog #neck surgery #trying to distract myself #my boring day #Spotify #say hello

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redhillconfetti · 1 year

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Blog post 03-02-2023 - Sickness

When you decide to run a small business, the freedom it gives you to run your own schedule is always a huge draw when compared to being an employee of someone else’s business, however whilst things look great all the perks of self employment and flexible schedules can mean for a while you are looking through rose tinted glasses, but with all planning for fun and good things, you also need to plan for the bad and boring.

When I first quit my corporate job to go self employed full time, I had to look at my outgoing expenses each month, with the first being my pension. I had to reduce my monthly payment, but over time I've increased this gradually. This is something I was able to plan for and incorporate into each year’s projections. I also decided to pull off 20% of each week's earnings and just store them in an instant access savings account. It barely makes any interest, but my initial idea for this was to be a pot of instant money should I have any large expenses.

What this actually meant is I had a backup for when I was too sick to work.

If the last three years has taught us anything, it's that a bad virus or illness can appear out of nowhere and throw everything on its head with regards to running a business. You can’t predict when you will be ill, and it can always come at the most inconvenient time. Unfortunately that’s what happened to me this week.

We’re now at the first few days of February, but since the start of January I had been feeling run down and had a slight tickle of a cough. As January is always a quiet month I have been able to reduce my working hours in order to get some rest and hopefully let my body restore itself. However, after a very busy two days last weekend, this Monday that cough rapidly deteriorated. I had a dry cough that would empty my lungs at any given point, every single bone and joint in my body ached beyond belief, migraine, nausea, elevated temperature, photosensitivity to light and also noise. I had definitely developed something far more severe than just a simple tickly cough. After testing for Covid and that thankfully coming up negative, a call to the NHS 111 service determined it was likely to be the RSV virus, something that has been prevalent in our area for the last few weeks.

I had little choice but to take the week ‘off’. I’m thankful my husband was able to arrange to work from home and thus take our son to and from school, and for the better part of the week I've been able to do little more than sip water whilst wrapped in a blanket and binge watch Criminal Minds on Disney+. What hasn’t helped my recovery is the lack of medicated cold & flu medications that pharmacies locally haven’t been able to source, but that lack of supply is more down to Brexit. But this isn’t a Brexit blog post so we’ll touch on that in the future.

With having a week off, I had to decide whether or not to shut the shops or not. In the end I decided to keep them on, and just allow the natural flow of orders to come in. I completely ignored social media this week, the admin has piled up, no new listing or manufacturing. Instead I packed what orders did come in then left them for 24 hours after sanitising them. If 2020 taught us anything, it's how to protect others and stop the spread of any viruses. After 24 hours and full sanitisation, my husband took the parcels to their drop off points meaning i didn’t have to leave the house.

Through all this I was thankful that I had that small reserve in savings. I could take my time this week to just get better without having the added pressure and worry that I still had to bring in a full week’s wage. My pension payment was able to be covered and this week’s bills have been paid.

Here in the UK if you are employed by a company, most of the time they will offer a certain amount of sick days where you get paid full pay, or a high percentage of full pay (in the past it’s usually been 12 days at companies i’ve worked for). After that the company can draw from the government what’s called SSP - statutory sick pay - which is just under £100 per week, payable for up to 28 weeks. It is only applicable if you are employed by a company. You cannot claim this if you are self employed.

I’m sorry if this week’s blog post is a little disjointed, i’m still in a bit of a fog of flu meds and lack of sleep, but hopefully next weeks post will be something a little more upbeat and fluffy!

Simone

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ttyls · 11 months

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happy friday tt 🥺🫶🏻💕💕 do you have any plans for today? hehe you were dearly missed over the weekend, i hope u had super lots of fun on your hiking trip!! im going to pick berries (at a farm) next week ☺️✨️🫐 going outside and being near nature can be so good for you!!

happy late friday/saturday, sweet wonderful brandy!!!! hopefully you had fun yesterday and your weekend is going well 🫂🩵 i had a good friday hehe i went out for lunch with my sister! my lower body has made a full recovery from all the hiking and now i am stronger than ever 🫡🦾

today is a completely different story 😤🤧 i’m installing a rod support thingy in my closet (i’m taking a break from it right now hehehehe) bc i don’t want to wait 2 business weeks for my dad to do it 😮‍💨 so obviously, i’m also thinking about your ce characters diy home improvement headcanons 😌 i could use a curtis or frank rn 🙇🏻‍♀️

oooh berry picking sounds so fun!!!! i hope the weather will be perfect and that you have the most amazing time!! will it be one kind of berry or will the farm have many kinds you can pick? :-0 you’re so right, experiencing a soft breeze near nature is everything 😌✨

#the berry emojis are the cutest 🫐🍓#thank you for the snoopy bestie 😁🤲🏻🤍 mwah mwah mwah!!!#yes i will use any opportunity to plug in brandy’s writing!!!! go read and reblog it heheheeheee #asks #brandycranby

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miedemaftevans · 11 months

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Column Vivianne Miedema | Something that has been so normal in recent years suddenly becomes special.

Columnist Vivianne Miedema has to follow the performance of the Orange Lionesses at the upcoming World Cup on television because of the cruciate ligament injury that has kept her aside for months. A big disappointment, but at the same time also a motivation to get fit even faster. “I still feel involved with Orange.”

Today is a beautiful day for me. After months of rehabilitation in the gym, I can train on the field for the first time. That is a moment you look forward to during such a long recovery period. I've been recovering for six months now. To be honest, I had hoped to be a little further along by now, but at the same time I cherish this moment. Training on the field. Something that has been so normal in recent years suddenly becomes special.

A lot of people ask me: what is it like to miss the World Cup in Australia and New Zealand? I don't have a real answer yet. That will only come when I'm sitting in front of the TV and not on the field. When I now see those girls start their World Cup preparation, it hurts a bit of course.

In top sport it is very easy to forget people, but he involves me and that also helps me during rehabilitation

But at the same time it is also a motivation to keep fighting during my recovery, because the next tournament I just want to be there again. It feels a bit strange now, because since the 2015 World Cup I have played all tournaments with the Orange. With World Cups, European Championships and the Olympic Games in Tokyo, there are five. There are only five girls left here at Arsenal. The rest is busy with the World Cup.

Still, I feel involved with Orange. Also literally. Next weekend I will be at the selection in Zeist. Then I participate in the daily program. With the only difference that they go onto the field and I go into the gym. But I'm at the meetings, at the meals. Then I can talk to the girls and hopefully share some of my experience. I also have contact with the team and the national coach during the tournament. That is on the initiative of Andries Jonker and that feels good. In top sport it is very easy to forget people, but he involves me and that also helps me during rehabilitation.

From a distance I followed the discussion about the exhibition game they played against the boys of De Volewijckers under 18. There was no press or public welcome to prevent negative reactions. Look, in an ideal world, that competition would of course have been open to everyone. But to be honest: we are not there yet with the acceptance of women's football.

The 2-1 victory was also a reason for the biggest pessimists to undermine the performance of the Orange. We wouldn't be worth playing for Orange. You should of course not care about that, but I do understand that the KNVB does not want players to get a bucket of negativity in the run-up to the World Cup.

We are not there yet with the acceptance of women's football

Our game will never be as fast as the men's. Just like women's tennis is never hit as hard as men's. Just like women's cycling will never be driven as fast as men's. That match against the boys of De Volewijckers was mainly a nice physical test. At Arsenal we do it sometimes, but just a little differently. Then we mix our selection with the boys under 18. It's just great to do. Just like that match against De Volewijckers that was for the Orange. Eventually everyone will get used to it.

#vivianne miedema #arsenal women #women’s football #arsenal #football #articles #netherlands #oranjeleeuwinnen

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magicbench · 2 years

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~*A small update !*~

[copy/paste from KS’s update]

Hello everyone !

How are you doing these days ? Spooky season is past behind us and soon will be the holidays for those who are celebrating.

In the meanwhile, I have some update and a message from Cirro the writer for you :

"Hello everyone! This is an update by Cirro, the writer for Colors of Fate. Unfortunately the last roughly 2 months have been pretty rough for me, as I contracted Corona in October and dealt with horrible exhaustion as a lasting after-effect, even after I had already recovered from Corona itself. This led to me falling asleep on the couch after work routinely, to the point that anything outside of the most essential tasks, nevermind engaging in fun hobbies like watching shows or playing video games, fell to the wayside. Unfortunately, this included the writing for CoF. I simply did not have the energy to do anything. My life consisted of work, getting home, eating dinner, falling asleep while watching TV on the couch and then going to bed. The weekends were spent on recovery, chores and what little socialising with family and friends I could manage to do.

On top of all of this, my work situation has gotten worse to the point that while all of this was keeping me exhausted and sick, I was (and still am) actively looking for a new full time job. Negative stress like the one I am currently facing daily at work is not something that helped improve my already pretty bad health (due to Corona) overall, and I spent a long time just trying to figure out what my next course of action should be. The good news is that I am no longer suffering from my Corona after-effects. It took way over a month to recover from them, but I am no longer held back by exhaustion. And while I have not found a new full time job yet, I have the support of my family and have prepared everything for new job applications, etc. Since I have a better outlook overall right now, and my health is continuing to improve, I have started writing scenes for CoF again. The goal is still to finish both Teen Phase paths (Maid and Princess) this year. I have hope that I can reach this goal, even if it may only happen at the end of December."

Take care, Cirro ! It's glad to hear you're doing better✿

As for tasks on my side, I'm done writing the french version of the compendium. I'm rewieving it and translating it this week and hopefully I'll be able to take care of all the drawings starting next week. If all goes well, I'll be able to add Cirro's work in the script early January and to finally release the compendium in both french and english toward mid or end of February 2023 ~

And I think that's all for now ! Take care and see you all next time, you got this !✦

Hello tout le monde !

Comment vous allez ces derniers temps ? La saison d'Halloween est derrière nous et ce sera bientôt les Noël pour ceux qui célèbrent.

En attendant, j'ai une mise à jour et un message de Cirro l'écrivaine pour vous :

"Bonjour tout le monde ! Ceci est une mise à jour de Cirro, l'auteure de Colors of Fate. Malheureusement, les deux derniers mois environ ont été assez difficiles pour moi, car j'ai contracté Corona en octobre et j'ai fait face à un horrible épuisement qui a duré, même après avoir déjà récupéré de Corona lui-même. Cela m'a amené à m'endormir régulièrement sur le canapé après le travail, au point que tout ce qui n'était pas des tâches les plus essentielles, sans parler de s'adonner à des passe-temps amusants comme regarder des émissions ou jouer à des jeux vidéo, a été mis de côté. Malheureusement, cela incluait l'écriture pour CoF. Je n'avais tout simplement pas l'énergie de faire quoi que ce soit. Ma vie consistait à travailler, rentrer à la maison, dîner, m'endormir en regardant la télévision sur le canapé, puis me coucher. Les week-ends ont été consacrés à la récupération, aux tâches ménagères et au peu de socialisation que je parvenais à faire avec ma famille et mes amis.

En plus de tout cela, ma situation de travail s'est aggravée au point que, même si tout cela m'épuisait et me rendait malade, je cherchais (et je suis toujours) activement à la recherche d'un nouvel emploi à temps plein. Le stress négatif comme celui auquel je suis actuellement confrontée quotidiennement au travail n'a dans l'ensemble pas contribué à améliorer ma santé déjà assez mauvaise (due à Corona) dans, et j'ai passé beaucoup de temps à essayer de comprendre quelle devrait être ma prochaine ligne de conduite. La bonne nouvelle est que je ne souffre plus de mes séquelles Corona. Il m'a fallu plus d'un mois pour m'en remettre, mais je ne suis plus ralentit par l'épuisement. Et même si je n'ai pas encore trouvé de nouveau travail à temps plein, j'ai le soutien de ma famille et j'ai tout préparé pour de nouvelles demandes d'emploi, etc. Comme j'ai une meilleure perspective générale en ce moment et que ma santé continue de s'améliorer, j'ai recommencé à écrire des scènes pour CoF. L'objectif est toujours de terminer les deux parcours Teen (Maid et Princesse) cette année. J'ai bon espoir de pouvoir atteindre cet objectif, même si cela n'arrivera qu'à la fin du mois de Décembre."

Prends soin de toi Cirro ! Je suis contente de savoir que tu vas mieux, courage✿

Quant aux tâches dont je m'occupe de mon côté, j'ai fini d'écrire la version française du compendium. Je le relis et le traduis en anglais cette semaine et j'espère pouvoir m'occuper de tous les dessins à partir de la semaine prochaine. Si tout se passe bien, je pourrai ajouter le travail de Cirro dans le script début Janvier et enfin finir et sortir le compendium en français et en anglais vers mi ou fin Février 2023 ~

Et je pense que c'est tout pour le moment ! Prenez soin de vous et à la prochaine ! ✦

#visualnovel #vndev #otomegame #amaregame #amaredev #magicbench #colorsoffate #cof

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onesmallcentury · 2 years

Text

an abandoned wip

Good morning. Hoping this weekend provides me the needed recovery from the absolute circus that was my job this past week. Needless to say my coffee mug this morning is filled to the absolute brim.

Anyway, let me tell you a story; waaaay back in December, after the solstice party video that featured Sam, I had a burst of inspiration. I wanted to write a piece that made Sam reflect on what it meant to be a shifter’s mate. But based on the idea that he has no prior frame of reference for that sort of thing, I wanted him to analyze the other pack relationships, to help him better understand.

So here’s my dilemma. I don’t like what I’ve written. I did, at one point, but now I’m incredibly annoyed with the order of things and I’ve pretty much resigned myself to scrapping the entire first part and starting over.

But, before I do that, I figured I would at least throw it to the wind so someone else can have eyes on it before I scrap it. So surprise! The longest ever preamble for a wip that will evolve into something else entirely at some point in the future. Enjoy?

The cabin finally grew quiet as the last of the wolves made their exit. Sam had decided against joining the run - a bit too soon, he thought, taking part in something that felt so sacred when he'd only just met everyone. Besides, the connection between Darlin' and their packmates was still tenuous; they needed space, and time to settle in again. Hopefully running tonight would help further that along.

Turning away from the door, he eyed the three people who remained in the main sitting room; two unempowered humans, and judging from the subtle misty aura, a Stealth. From his quiet corner of observation for the majority of the party, he'd come to learn that these were David, Asher, and Milo's mates.

Watching them throughout the night had provided a good bit of entertainment, Sam had to admit. It appeared that the two unempowered humans were counterpoints to their mates; where David was stoic, his mate was effervescent; and where Asher was exuberant, his mate was steady. A balancing act, it seemed, and it was incredible to watch the way their energies ebbed and flowed around each interaction. Milo and his mate (the Stealth) however, were more like twin flames. Both spitfires in their own right, in constant competition yet always evenly matched. Much laughter had surrounded their light-hearted bickering throughout the evening.

Sam didn't know much (or anything at all) about the relationship between a shifter and their 'mate'. How did they decide when a partner crossed that threshold? Was it voluntary, was it magical? He recalled the awkward moment where Asher had (mistakenly?) called Darlin' his mate, and he wondered what the beta had seen between them to make such an assumption. He thought again about the interactions between the mated pairs here tonight;

David and his mate (Angel, Sam had heard him say, though he knew that wasn't their name) were not so open in their affection - they had spent a good bit of the night apart, as David moved throughout the party playing host. Yet they always seemed to gravitate back to one another; the gentlest of looks Sam had ever seen David make were when his mate's hand found his arm.

Asher and his mate didn't appear to have any qualms about public displays of affection, considering he spent the majority of the evening attached to them (not that they seemed to mind, of course). It was never over the top though - endearing, rather, the way they obviously adored each other's company.

Milo and his mate were somewhere between the two; when they were together, they were always touching in some way - his hand in their pocket, their hand on his back, or simply fingers intertwined as they moved through the room. And in the few moments they were apart, their eyes were always glancing each other's way.

So it was obvious that there was no one particular way that mated pairs seemed to interact. Perhaps he would speak on it with Darlin' later, he thought. If things between them were to grow more serious (and he allowed himself a modicum of hope), he would need to better understand the relationship between a shifter and their mate. He'd heard before that it was magical in some nature, but now seeing how it affected even the unempowered, he felt as lost as ever. He'd been human once himself, after all, though empowered. Would it be different between a shifter and a vampire?

Rousing himself from his inner monologue, he glanced back to the three in the sitting room. Asher and David's mates were seated beside one another on a sofa, discussing something on their phones. Milo's mate was nearby, but stood at the window, looking out. Stealths were also moonbound, he remembered, and he wondered if they felt the same comfort from the moon's gaze as the shifters seemed to.

After turning, it had been quite an experience to adjust to the new ways his body reacted to the solstice. As a Freelancer, summer and winter had felt the same - yet now as a vampire, the difference was very clear. Even standing here now, he could feel the warm thrum of his core - his powers tingling at his fingertips. He felt like he had enough energy to run for days, and the strength to toss a car the same distance.

"Sam?" He glanced up, startled, to see David's mate looking in his direction. They'd been just as kind to him this evening as David had been (and much less intimidating). In fact, every single member of the pack tonight had shown this human the same respect they showed David.

"Do you want to come sit down?" They asked, gesturing to the chair near the sofa. Sam considered the offer, but anxious thoughts pressed at him, like a devil on his back.

"That's kind, but…I wouldn't wanna intrude," he said politely. David's mate laughed softly, waving away the concern.

Asher's mate smiled and added "It's not every day we get to have a conversation with a Vampire." While he knew they meant well, that particular sentiment only flustered Sam further. He hadn't even considered how two unempowered humans might feel in a cabin alone with a vampire at night. Not that Sam had any ill intentions, obviously, but…

"I..it might be better if I just um- stepped outside," he tried. Milo's mate turned from the window, regarding them all. Asher's mate looked a bit chagrined, but David's mate was unperturbed.

"You don't have to worry, Sam. It would take much more than your polite southern charm to scare us - we all share a bed with a wolf, after all." they smirked. All three of them laughed, and Sam couldn't help but chuckle as well. It didn't escape him that he could be included in that group - though he'd really only shared a couch with his wolf as of yet.

"Well…alright," he relented, walking over and taking the proffered seat. Milo's mate stepped over as well, taking the chair opposite.

"We might be more afraid of our Investigator here, master of espionage," Asher's mate said, and Milo's mate grinned and raised a brow. They glanced to Sam and shook their head,

"Don't worry, I'm not armed when I'm off the clock." Sam recalled when he'd been introduced - they were a Department officer, and a formidable one at that.

"Can't quite disarm your magic though, right? I can do a lick of cloaking myself, but nowhere near what I'm sure you're capable of," He offered. Because it wasn't only the invisibility that made a Stealth so dangerous, but also that they could mute their auras - rendering them completely undetectable. And Milo certainly hadn’t wasted a single chance to brag about his mate’s powers all evening.

Milo's mate seemed pleased with the compliment, but before they could continue, a howl was heard from out in the night. Long and low - a powerful sound, and every head in the room turned toward the window. Judging from the way his mate's face lit up with a brilliant smile, Sam could assume it was David they were hearing. After a second, another howl joined, and then another, until a chorus of wolf cries echoed from the forest surrounding the grounds. And Sam, who had the best ears in the room, could hear more howls sounding from miles off - other packs, celebrating the solstice tonight as well.

As the sound rang in Sam’s ears, it was quite clear that this was no normal wolf call. The very air seemed to shiver, and goosebumps pebbled across Sam’s arms, the hairs on his neck standing to attention. Again, Sam knew little to nothing about shifter’s magic apart from the transformation, but this was something else. It was like their howl had taken the vastness of the night and pulled it down to earth, until it surrounded them all in a velvety, star-lit blanket.

“They’re sharing the strength,” Milo’s mate said suddenly, and Sam turned to them, surprised. They had a knowing look on their face, and Sam assumed he’d looked a little taken aback at the sensation.

“The solstice heightens their powers, just like yours and mine. But when they’re all out there - shifted, together as a pack - they can make a connection, simultaneously fueling and borrowing one another's power, that strengthens them further. Almost like a bridge. And with their alpha at the head of it, it’s no wonder that the meridian itself is shaken up around us.”

#tldr i hate this wip so you get to read it before i toss it in the garbage and start over #for my own catharsis #redacted asmr #redacted sam #shaw pack #writing #wip #fanfic

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