#i cant tune it out either

[spookypanties]

genuinely, genuinely i respect bugs. they deserve a lot better than they get. but the sounds crickets make send me into a blind fucking rage for reasons i would never be able to explain. theyre outside? fine, thats their home. but in my fucking bedroom? hiding in the goddamn walls???? ill burn this fucking house to the ground

#august talks #im at war with a cricket and im legitimately shaking with rage #something about the sounds they make literally drive me fucking insane #i cant tune it out either #ive been like this since i was a little girl #if i could have learned to fucking tune them out i fucking would have by now #its impossible. i hear it no matter what. i want to fucking scream #i legitimately feel like breaking something #i cant fucking take it

[jemmo]

Making sense of love for love's sake: the game

Despite all the things i absolutely adore about how the plot unravels and expands in love by love's sake, upon first watch, there's some things i couldn't piece together, which @lurkingshan echoes in their post:

'The way the author was messing with Myungha and forcing cruel choices on him really does not track with a desire to help him find happiness.'

And to preface, this is not something i fully get yet either. I think i'll need a good month and a sizeable reading list of relevant resources to understand just what/who this author/sunbae is and what his role is and how he is associated with myungha. But as always with the best shows for meta (aka bad buddy), as a plot unfolds, you can always find a better understanding by looking backwards and re-contextualising what you've already seen. so i watched ep 1, specifically the scene between myungha and his sunbae at the bar. And i will talk about how everything said in this scene has a whole new meaning now we know the full story, but for now i wanna focus on that question that they keep coming back to; "Then... will you change it for him?".

When you watch the show for the first time, your brain follows the simplest, most obvious version of the story you're being told, one where myungha has been pulled into the world of his sunbae's novel that's being turned into a game and given the opportunity to fix the thing he didn't like about it; making yeowoon happy, and thus you just think the rules of the game are imposed by the author, and so when these cruel choices first come up, you see them as the difficult roadblocks that are nevertheless necessary to any kind of game, forcing the player to make an impossible choice so that the game can continue in a certain direction and its only after that you learn whether it was the right choice or not, or there is no right choice, it simply changes the game you are playing.

And when its revealed what this game actually is, at first i tried to interpret these cruel choices, namely the choice between yeonwoon and myungha's grandma, and at best i could come up with the concept of this being a choice between staying stuck to the past aka choosing his grandma, even though he knows that choice doesn't mean she's safe bc he knows the future where he loses here, its an inevitability, but thats the small happiness he knew before it was taken away and thus that happiness is known and safe, theres no risk, versus choosing to pursue a new happiness, a love of yeowoon and thus himself, which he doesn't know, he hasn't experienced yet, and could be risky. Its a happiness that isn't guaranteed like his grandma, but its a happiness that looks to the future and has hope in it that he can find a new happiness to pursue despite what has happened in his past.

And that fits nice, okayish. But then i watched ep 1 and heard that question "Then... will you change it for him?" And watching through the rest of the eps, we come back to this scene at the bar and each time we get a new run up to the author asking this question, either new dialogue is added or we hear a different piece of the conversation entirely. It starts at the beginning of ep 1 as:

"Because Cha Yeowoon is the only one who's miserable." "It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile."

Then a bit later in ep 1 we go back and its expanded.

"It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile." "Why? Do you think you'd write it differently?" "Yes, definately. Someone like Cha Yeowoon, or someone like me with an awful life, can also be happy."

And then all the way on in ep 6, we get this new dialogue.

"I don't like talking about destiny." "Why?" "Because it means everything is predestined." "Then do you not believe in fate?" "Fate and destiny are the same. My grandma likes to say that. She said life is like a written book, and how you'll live and die are written in it. (...)I don't like things like this. Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." "Really? Then Myungha..."

And while we don't hear the author ask the same question, I feel like him getting cut off like that insinuates that the conversation leads to that same ending point. All that is to say, every time we hear this question being asked, its like we learn more and more about what this whole thing is, what the game is, what myungha is saying he will do by agreeing to do what the author asks. And every time, we see myungha being more defiant against the idea of yeowoon being resigned to his miserable ending. He starts off thinking that kind of life is destined, and while it's miserable, its not something he can fight. Then he says he'd want to write the story differently, bc yeowoon, or even him, could be happy. He challenges the idea that yeowoon, and thus himself, is fated to be miserable, and opens up the possibility for happiness for them both, but doesn't yet have the means or resolve to do it, its like he knows its possible on a fundamental level, but doesn't see it as something he can actually achieve. But then we circle back to the idea of destiny and books, both of which came up in the previous quote, and seems incredibly pertinent seen as this whole thing is about a novel this author has written. Myungha talks about how he hates the idea that life is a book where everything written is predestined to happen, from the moment you live to the moment you die. He says "Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." That vile way of life he described before that he said was destined, he is now saying it can be changed, and that possibility is now something he's holding onto, its what he sees hope in so that he can keep trying, bc now he finally is trying, he has the resolve, he's trying to realise this thing, this impossibility of rewriting the life he thought was destined through the way he loves yeowoon.

And coming back to those cruel choices, given this fresh context, it made me think. bc this isn't actually a game that myungha has been put into where the rules are dictated by an author completely separate from him. He said himself, he'd rewrite it, he'd change things for yeowoon. And when you start to think of it less as him fighting against a rigid, removed system and more like him being a character in a story he is trying to rewrite himself, that has both the author and his own limitations, or just his own if you're in the school of thought that the author is some figment or part of myungha himself or his conciousness, then you can start to see where these cruel choices might come from. They could be myungha, the author making edits to this new story, imposing his own doubts and limitations on himself. When he says he has to pick between Yeowoon and his grandma, what if that's the new author myungha seeing this story unfold and thinking no this isn't right, he can't have it all, i'm not deserving of this much happiness.

And what makes me like this idea even more is that when we get that second choice between ending after 14 days or getting 100 days back at the cost of resetting Yeowoon's affection to 0, that whole conversation happens in what I think the bar actually is which is this frozen moment in time where myungha is in the water with this extension of a voice in his head that is talking through these things. That conversation in itself needs its own post, but when you look at it both as a decision to break up or not or a decision to hold onto life or not, you can see how the author is just this soundboard relaying the decisions myungha is going through in his head. The author's voice is his own, weighing up his decisions. And if he is the author here, it only reinforces that the person making the rules of this game is him. You can even extend it further to the idea of the debuffs, where he puts in place this thing that makes it so he causes harm to yeowoon when he's around, and its only by garnering affection that he can prevent it. He gives himself a reason from the get go to stay away from yeowoon and reason it as him doing it for yeowoon's safety, when in fact the only way to make yeowoon safe is to increase his affection, which he can only do by being near him. Its a system that at first gives myungha a reason to stay away aka not like himself, but ultimately says the only way you're going to make yeowoon like you, or the only way you can like yourself, is if you accept risk. And that in itself screams to me of a myungha writing in these game systems that are trying to encourage his own-self love while falling at the hurdle of his own lack of self-worth.

The idea is still messy in my head even for me, but i just really like the idea that myungha could be trying to fix this thing both as a character and game master, and that both these versions of him have these flaws that manifest in their different ways to cause the events we see. It kinda is the definition of being your own worst enemy, the idea that in order to work towards loving yourself, the biggest obstacle you have to encounter is yourself, bc we are the ones holding ourselves back, making all these rules that make it harder to like ourselves and pursue our own happiness. The voices in our head telling us that we aren't good enough and aren't deserving are our own, and while the things that happen to us can inform what they say, we're the one's reinforcing those words. And what this show teaches us is that, if we're the one holding that pen all along, we can choose to change what those words are. If we make the rules, you don't have to create a game with concrete ultimatums, you can create a game where rules don't control you. Instead, you make the decisions, and you can make the ones that make you happy.

#wow look at me writing actual kinda thought out meta #also something something about how the pen being in his pocket wasnt a pen given to him by the author its a pen that was his the whole time #look even if this isnt the right interpretation as intended by the author i just kinda adore this headcanon ive come up with and i cant wai #to rewatch the show again through this lens and see if it holds up #i just adore the idea of this whole thing being this manifestation of a flawed doubtful person trying to navigate through their own messy #nonsensical thoughts to find their own happiness #bc yes thats what triggered me thinking of this whole thing. me seeing that post and thinking yeah that doesnt make sense7 #but then again when you tell yourself things an put your own mental blocks in the way they dont make sense either but you still have to fin #the ways to work around them in order to find happiness #like those things dont go away we just find the loopholes or the ways to overcome them that mean we can be happy #the game is your own mind - deal with your own existential crisis as you wish #anyway this is only part 1 in what i hope will be a very extensive meta analysis of this show - stay tuned #love for love's sake

[saltedcoffeee]

the breakdown that will change the dr community forever

#the second we met david i knew he was bound to break in the most horrific way possible İ CANT WAİT #david chiem 🔛🔝 #if i had a nickel every time ace got on the hit list of an unstable man id have three nickels <3 #also this is making me think either arei veronika or himself had his secret n none of these options is good LMAO #call me veronika bc i am abt to psychoanalyze the shit out of this guy #back to tags im sorry #myart #danganronpa despair time #drdt #drdt fanart #david chiem #is his hidden quote directed towards whoever he killed or himself? tune in tomorrow to know!

[gifti3]

If solomon asked me to be a defender of humanity, i dont think i could look him in the eye and say yes

#talking about obey me once again #hmmm....its like asking a gnat to be the defender of bug kind or something #or maybe a fly #like sorry solomon but...dont have that type of grace in my body #mc is supposed to be a character that sees the good in everyone so ig it makes sense in their case #but at the same time i feel like this conflicts with the way they behave sometimes #when i think of someone who always sees the good in ppl #tohru honda is one of the first ppl to pop into my head #and shes very VERY kind #and very very forgiving #to the point of being a doormat #not to say that u cant be an assertive person and also see the good in people at the same time #but u cant be unnecessarily cruel u know #and mc sometimes is an asshole just because #so thats where im like...contradictions #ANYWAYS i just always thought about that ever since solomon asked the mc to help him defend humans #and i was just like...idk man #and it didnt really have to do with me wanting to always be on the brothers side or anything #its just......can i care about people at a regular human level??? #i dont wanna make 500 pacts and play mind games with demons to help lmao #it feels like im sticking my neck out for a world that would most likely not do the same for me you know?? #maybe if i were immortal like sol then id sing a different tune? #i feel like if u live long enough u youll either really like humans or really hate him

[nuclearbyproduct]

Thinking about the radio station in Str*ngetown that is only on air from midnight to 4 am. It only plays spacey ambient tracks. No one knows who's running it, but those up late enough to hear it, enjoy it. It's a comfort to many of the night owls in that little desert town.

#text #sims💚 #i think ive talked about this hc before on my other blog but this means so much to me #like it makes my heart feel something i cant quite explain #something about feeling all alone in a vast desert town in the middle of the night #and knowing that you can flip the radio on and be comforted by this odd ambient station #you arent alone because whoever runs that station is up and listening #there might be another person tuned in as well #maybe you lay in bed looking up at the ceiling with this station on- maybe you look out the window- either way its grounding #eivets.txt

[lokh]

being aware of your own shortcomings but not knowing how to fix it. sooooo frustrating lol <3

#AUGHHHHHH I CANT WRITE I GIVE UP IM DONE! #im like. anybody with an ounce more of. idk being in tune with their feelings??????????? would have expanded on eg an observation #but i dont. or i cant. and i dont care to figure out which one cos either way i dont want to! #but thats not good for writing!!!!!!!!! #i realise that maybe for dialogue its ok. because yknow how therapy speak is becoming a problem with dialogue and a piece of advice ive see #going around is 'no one says what they mean' #well. so thats easy at least LMAO. at least up until people have feelings jams. which is where i fall flat on my face #but in either case the problem becomes the experiencing. when ur writing pov and ur saying how they Felt #and i just. shrug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAN #you kno?????? is this making sense? #i just love avoiding things too much! #im complaining about writing but im 100% sure this is a problem in. every other avenue of life for me lol <3

[bumbleblurr]

ok y'know what. Sharing my blurrbee (and blurrbee related) playlists bc i finally rearranged them so they're presentable

#most of the image covers are old art bc i havent made art recently that works well as replacements #and i generally dont like to use other ppls art for things like this #unless if its official art but i didnt rlly want to use screencaps either #anywho these are lovingly crafted playlists <3 #though i cant say. my music tastes are like super amazing #but i like to think its decent ! #my philosophy for making these playlists is for songs to be one of ghe following #has lyrics that are like ''lets go fast!!'' or ''we talk a lot''. stuff that fits what the characters are/do #fits their vibes- bee has lots of jammy tunes & video game music and blurr has lots of synth and fast paced electronic action music #is a joke- blurr has misery by maroon 5 not bc it fits him as a character but bc hes a miserable lil narrative punching bag #or it just. straight up fits for who they are as a character. like emotional arcs and motivations etc #lots of thought i put into these i swear #oh also i do update them here and there so theres never rlly a. final version of these playlists #I'll hear a song and go ''oh this got blurrbee vibes'' and slap it in #oh i forgot another qualification thats rarer. song has been used in an amv with the characters akhdkfhfkf #thats why scrawny & holding out for a hero are there

[corntort]

reminder 2 self to ask someone abt a chord progression im rlly struggling qith

#Everything Else Sounds Correct but qhen i try to play that chord it sounds way wrong #am i just playing it wrong??? has my guitar actually been outta tune this entire time. still doesnt explain everything else sounding righr #i cant really tune my guitar without using a (notoriously) finicky tuner because you know for sure i cant do that shit by ear #ive been a little frustratwd today!!! picking up many new things #dedicating So Much Time. and something i do wrong despite quadrupke checking things #3d modeling was going so well then geometry nodes were thrown in and suddenly i fucked it all up #so after. Hours. of that. gave up. watched a litle bit of a show. and went wait i need to strum a little on my guitar #maybe i can figure out the chords in this progression! WRONG #ive just been urgrgg. off today #rambles #not looking forward to tomorrow either. today was rough at work but itll be just me and someone else for the entire morning. so #uurgghhrgh. just gonna spin a nivyl til i pass out. it really really has been helping me sleep and find peace . makes me really happy #so hopin kt works its magic #because an endless cycle is confusing me #Grgrgg. #ok im good nlw

[stirdrawsandreblaws]

I can think of barely anything more soul-crushing than finally getting the ok to work on smth for money (transcription) despite knowing it is not something im good at (bc i Cannot fucking Hear without video or transcripts) and then sitting in a work queue for 16 hours across 2 days, actually doing work for an hour and a half so it was almost 18 hours total, and then getting paid only for the audio time i did transcripts for

so i made ~$3.50 for that hour and a half, and could do functionally very little for the other 16 hours

and they might decide there are too many errors to pay me for so idek if i made that much hahahahahaaa

#at least I've been able to put in other job applications and tune up my resume while in queue #but this is. bad lmao. im so fucking tired. every day i wake up and work on finding a job until im too tired to continue #and then i either play games for a little while until i pass out...or i just pass out. #it's not like im totally unskilled either but i just. cannot fucking hear. and that rules out like 9/10ths of remote jobs #and the rest is like. engineer w 4 year degree or whatever. #im so bitter i wish i could make phone calls bc then i would be Fine #but nooo i cant FUCKING hear people. and its not technically hearing loss. its auditory processing. so no accomodations lol #stirring up trouble #i feel sick to my stomach

[samglyph]

ok quickly was Eddie’s guitar on his back when he died

#stranger things #i need to know for fic purposes #also i cant remember exactly but we're going to believe that there's only ONE version of his guitar and its the one from normal hawkins #gonna believe that the one in the upside down would either be too rusted/out of tune to play or that it simply wasn't in the exact location #3 years prior #i dont care if im wrong #also the reason i cant find out myself is because i cant watch the scene again it makes me too sad

[tasmanianstripes]

Fuck you to the downstairs neighbour that keeps hitting on the pipes whenever our cats run and play around. They're fucking cats, jackass, what do you want me to do? Tie them up?

#thylacines can talk #there must be new tendants or the old man that lives down there has sb over to take care of him #either way its annoying as hell. yesterday they hit the pipes because we were cleaning the litterboxes #and we moved them a bit on the ground bc theyre heavy and we moved the thing that you hang stuff on to dry. thats it. and they were banging #on the pipes for THAT. like what the hell bro. it was before 22:00 too like i could have been SO much louder than that if i wanted to. #im just. annoyed. like idk man its just a normal thing in apartments that walls are thin as fuck. you either learn to tune it out or move #out idk what to tell you. shit like animals or kids running around cant be helped my guy

[ilyzuko]

🚬😶

#tragic flatmate updates for today is she just threw a fit cause it was 1 am and i was in my bed in my room on the phone with headphones on #literally whisper talking to my friend 💀💀💀 like im honestly going crazy other days she practices her dj sets or puts whatever videos on #full blast and thats okay but now shes saying she cant sleep beacuse i dared to WHISPER locked in my room going insaneee because of her #like go live in a secluded forest or whatever like the sounds of cars outside or your coughing is 10x louder than whatever sound i ever mak #i literally always wear headphones nd am i quiet person in general like shut uppppppppp #if it was only this that shes unbearable whit but if any of u has tuned in for the previous tragic flatmate episodes u know shes unable #to clean or keep on top of anything flat related either so it's like. yeah im genuinely considering packing up all my stuff and moving out

[starlightkun]

🎶🛌

#BABY IM YOUR CHANGER WAH CHANGER WAH LOVE IS NOT A DANGER WAH #have literally listened to this one on repeat for 24 hrs........ yeah #also YALL tell me why my pediatric psychiatrist diagnosed me w adhd when i was 15 #and just DIDNT TELL ME OR MY MOM #like i Knew ive had it by seeing all these accounts of ppl w it telling their experiences over the yrs #but like ive always been like oh its just a self diagnosis 👉👈 NO TURNS OUT I WAS FR DIAGNOSED SIX YRS AGO????? #AND NOBODY DECIDED TO TELL ME???????????? HELLO???? #I HAD TO BE LOSING MY GPDDAMN MIND IN MY APT AND HAVE MY LIFE LOWKRY IN SHAMBLES FROM EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION AND #CRYING BC I COULDNT JUST PICK UP A FU KING CARDBOARD BOX FOR SOME REASON #AND SEE SMTH WEIRD ON MY HEALTH INSURANCE HISTORY SO I REQUESTED MY GODDAMN PSYCH RECORDS FROM HIGH SCHOOL #ONLY TO FIND OUT I WAS DIAGNOSED W ADHD IN 2017 AND I COULDVE BEEN PROPERLY MEDICATED FOR IT THIS WHOLE TIMEEEEEEEEEE #AHHHHHH IM LOSING MY MIND AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY #I NEED TO BITE SOMETHING #anyway im pulling up to my primary care doc and asking them to either do smth or send to someone who will #bc i cant live like this anymore #anyway gn yall #✨ anon i see ur ask and i love it and i will answer it tomorrow ok my love <33 gn specifically to u mwah #talk #tunes #🎶🛌 #mine #not nct #ignore.mel #tag talk #Spotify

[feistyvampire]

@archaictold said: [ fuchsia ] ! | meme fuchsia - a blissful memory.

Edgar had always looked forward to this every year. Driving around the city during the Christmas holidays had long since become a tradition among him and his friends. He can see December bobbing his head to Christmas music as he drives, fingers tapping against the wheel while they wait on their turn to go at the traffic lights.

Rain is busy staring out the window at the various lights decorating the store fronts along the sides of the street they’re on, taking as many pictures as they can get before the car is moving again.

In the back, Ambrose has half-dozed off, hardly paying much mind to the scenery after about the first hour of their drive. None of them bother to try to wake him, figuring he needs the rest, and Edgar has to admit— he’s just happy Ambrose is able to sleep peacefully around them all.

The most he does is carefully drape his jacket across Ambrose’s lap before turning his own gaze out the window on his side, chin resting against a hand as he settles himself in to watch the vibrant Christmas lights go by once they’re on their way again, Christmas tunes still playing from the speakers.

Edgar finds himself grinning, happy simply to be in the company of his friends enjoying something so sentimental.

#archaictold #muse info; #world building; #i dunno if there’s a better tag for these but i cant think of one so world building tag it is lol #anyway one of my favorite things is that edgar always goes out with friends every year during the holidays #to see the lights #and it became a tradition; december always drives them around playing christmas tunes and they make a whole night of just #viewing all the lights in the city that they can #rain is always the most excited and ambrose is the one who always falls asleep in the cozy atmosphere #december loves vibing to the music and edgar is just really happy he can spend this sort of time with his friends #maybe i could add more detail but i feel like anymore and it doesnt get the vibes across. there’s no dialogue either but #i feel its better that way for this one hmmm

[iicarused]

##cant take my eyes off of you

valentine’s day special // vox x reader : alastor x reader : lucifer x reader : striker x reader

synopsis: it’s valentine’s day. the lead up, the present, the aftermath

beware: fluff, minor angst, establishment relationships (not for lucifer) // short hc’s

VOX

you have to tell him months in advance of what you want. if you don’t, he may not even think about the day. valentine’s day to him always seemed like a chore, but when you gave him a solemn gaze and a sweet smile — he couldn’t say no. all you asked for was a dinner together back in december, a gentle reminder and two months in advance. what you didn’t expect was how he was planning to go even bigger

while he didn’t ask you to be his valentine, he did plan a whole day of activities for just the two of you. it started off small as he didn’t want you to think much of it. it’s quite normal for vox to bring you breakfast in bed, especially since he wakes up much earlier than you

the key different was a rose on the edge of the tray. before you cod thank him, he was already out the door. it was a sweet gesture, and you believed that it was just vox doing something nice for the start of your day. although, more signs of him planning something started to show up afterwards: an outfit waiting for you in your bathroom to wear after your shower, a certain perfume set in place for you to wear, the entire penthouse being cleaned to the speck.

finally, you found a note left for you at the coffee table. “you rest your pretty face today and don’t worry about lifting a finger.”

vox came back not long after with a large bouquet of flowers and a bag of sweets in hand. “you really think i’m just going to allow you to settle for some lousy dinner?” finally admits through a laugh. “you deserve this whole day served to you on a silver platter.”

ALASTOR

you thought he forgot about it till you found a letter at the foot of your door. you still had a week before the day of love even came, but alastor thought about it very thoroughly on what he wanted to do and how to do it. the letter was sweet and genuine, the scent of his cologne lingering on the paper.

“my dearest, y/n.

oh, how i look forward to spending valentine’s day with you, or i hope you do accept this to be my valentine. a day that is entirely booked for just you and i, what a wonderful life to live. i hope by the end we are able to bask underneath the stars with our love stronger than ever before.

with love,

alastor.”

when the day came, alastor was at your door with 7 roses in hand. “the best for you, my dear.” while it wasn’t a large bouquet, you noticed how he wrapped it with a string, you noticed the paper bag wrapping, then you noticed the ends trimmed: he prepped it for you to either set it in a vase or to be hung and dried. the petals were already bloomed for you — it was a genuine gift

after, he took you out to cannibal town. not the most romantic, but to say it was more preferred than the other rings of hell is an understatement. on behalf of his close friend, rosie had prepped a table for you both on the gazebo. lined with flowers and vines for privacy

a mundane valentine’s day, but a well spent one with your lover. gentle kisses against your fingertips and the skin of your shoulder — his teeth grazing every so often just for a reaction.

by the end of the night, he has his cane playing some old timey tunes while he whisks you around in his arms. not only does alastor have a way with words, but he also has a way to sway you off your feet; quite literally too.

LUCIFER

“i was hoping you would be my valentine this year — totally fine if you decline — not that you have too but-“ “i would love to be your valentine this year.” and that’s how lucifer asked you on a date for valentine’s day. extremely nervous and was pulling at the hem of his collar, in high hopes that you would accept. after dedicating his whole life to a single soul, it is kind of expected that he would be nervous to jump back into the dating game.

most definitely had to ask charlie and/or got a little tipsy by the bar to chat with husk about it. more so, he blabbered about his nervousness and fears of what could happen — husk just nodded and hummed while listening to the king of hell freak out about a date — what if he can’t woo you?

finally settled for something simple and something that’s hes good at. he brought you to the castle for a lunch he prepared in the garden. “i got word from charlie that you enjoyed a strawberry shortcake.” lucifer sheepishly admitted through a proud grin.

a talker, a chatterbox, any other word in the english vocabulary of a man who talks your ear off. it’s almost funny because you know it isn’t word vomit, he just enjoys a chat and especially getting to know you. he questions are almost endless, his interest seem to go on forever, and somehow he doesn’t seem like an egotistical guy who just rules hell. he’s just some guy who loves ducks and getting to know someone on a deeper lever.

took you around the garden afterwards, introducing you to all his favourite plants and getting to know yours. his hand rests on your back for a majority, leading you around and allowing you to lead him to plants that pique your interest.

the entire day is just spent with you talking about anything and everything, honestly. from stories to old tales you heard throughout the years, it almost made you forget that it was only a date and not a lifetime of being together.

STRIKER

he has been working a lot these days. a whole lot. his attention span is very slim, and it is very evident how he tries to not show his irritation towards you. tired eyes always gaze over yours, almost like he’s not in touch with the world to really concentrate on you. sometimes you question why you’re still around — why he bothers to stop you at the door and tell you he’ll put more effort.

finally, the day you dreaded. you were on the path of grabbing a bag of chips and turning on a movie, but striker had other ideas. he came back home about lunch looking more clean — more refreshed than any other day you had seen him — a bouquet of dandelion’s and a gift bag in hand.

“sweet pea, you didn’t think i was falling out of love, did yah?” he was smug — he was smug until he realized you started to cry. “shit, sweet pea, i was jokin’!” he was by your side in seconds and had to calm you down. after a long needed conversation, you were ready to start the day. he wanted to tell you why he was busy, but that would mean spilling everything he had planned.

he admitted his faults, but his promises were never broken. on one condition, he was not allowed to speak or bring up any work related topics on this special day, to which he quickly agreed.

he took you out for lunch and dinner, but the rest of the evening was spent lazying around on your back patio with some country music playing. tennessee whiskey to be exact. he never stopped giving you kisses on your face either, his tail wrapped over your waist to keep you on top.

#ᥫ᭡. #hazbin hotel x reader #helluva boss x reader #hazbin hotel #helluva boss #hazbin hotel imagine #vox x reader #alastor x reader #vox imagine #alastor imagine #lucifer magne x reader #hazbin hotel lucifer x reader #striker x reader #striker #hazbin hotel headcanon

[heaven4lostgirls]

promises and dreams

pairing: finnick odair x reader

warning: angst, mentions of throwing up and blood, canon typical death and violence included!

summary: finnick odair is your best friend, but somehow you cant find it within yourself to be aanything more. Now that the 75th Hunger Games calls for Victors to be reaped you make it your plan to bring Finnick back home to Annie or you will die trying

word count: 1.3k

a/n: sorry ive been gone for so long! i have just finished uni so i am working on getting some more content out as soon as i can! have this to tide you over in the mean time but i can't wait to get back to posting! part 2?

part 1, part 2, part 3

You were sitting in the victors village of district 4 as you turned on the television to listen to the reaping news for the 75th Hunger Games. Your glass on the table in front of you was filled with amber liquid to quell the anxiety you felt as you hear Snow’s grating voice flood your home. Your hands are shaking as you’re forced to relive the memories of your own hunger games, which you had won at only 16.  

The victors that came after you were mentored by either you, or Finnick Odair, the Capitol’s prince. You had a harder time disassociating from  being a mentor when your tributes were in the games, Finnick always seemed so determined to get them sponsors and help them  in any way he could but for you, it was almost as worse as being in the games yourself.

Finnick and you had always been close, only drifting apart when his womanly companions found it necessary, he spend more time with them rather than you. You couldn’t blame them, if Finnick was yours you too would probably be uncomfortable but that never meant it hurt any less to see your best friend discard you as though you were nothing.

The only person you could never find it in yourself to dislike was ironically the only one of his  partner’s that  never dismissed  you, Annie Cresta. She was the epitome of beauty to you, there was no question about why Finnick fell in love with her. She had  been dealt just as bad of a hand in her own games and the both of you had found solace in one another. She could  not have been a better fit for Finnick and although your heart felt as though it was shattering each time you were forced to watch him look at her the way you longed, he would  look at you, you stayed strong.

That was how you found a paternal comfort in Haymitch Abernathy, Katniss Everdeen’s mentor, he was one of the only people who understood how easy it was for you to turn to drinking in favour of trying to find your tributes sponsors because of your own trauma. He knew just as well as you did just how  hard your games were for you; you had fought tooth and nail to make it back to your family only for them to turn you away in disgust for the atrocities you had committed in the games.

One of them always haunting you, You and 12-year-old George were the last tributes standing in the arena and you knew straight away that there was no way you would  be going home, you couldn’t kill him. That was until he ran to attack you and in a strike of defence you had pushed him, he had landed on one of the spears of the dead tributes. His lifeless eyes have haunted your nightmares to  this day.

As you tune back into the Capitol TV, you hear Snow’s voice state, “…the third quarter quell games, the male and female tributes are to be reaped from the existing pool of victors from each district”. Your heart thuds inn your chest as bile rises in your throat. You can feel your eyes burning with unshed tears as you disconnect from reality.  The only thing that brings you back is the realisation that the other victors may  just as well be in the same predicament.

You get up to go to Finnick’s house, the light is on, so you know he must be at home so as you knock on the door, shaking on the front step in either coldness or fear, you’re no longer sure, you’re greeted with Finnick’s hard gaze as he opens the door to let you in. You whisper a small greeting as your eyes travel to the couch in front of the TV where Annie sits, she’s a mess of tears and you can only hold off for so long before you make your way towards her to comfort her.  

Finnick watches the both of you in pain and worry as you try and keep yourself composed to focus on Annie, you know just how hard it must  be for her, she had never truly been okay after her games so right then you had made the decision. If Annie’s name was ever called, you would volunteer for her, you could not sit at home and watch one of your best friends relive their pain on national television as you sat back and did nothing.

“I can’t believe this; how can they  do this?  After our games we were supposed to live! I can’t go back there” Annie says, and you softly rock the both of you as you rub her back, you look over her shoulder to where Finnick is standing and watching you both as his features tighten in anger.

“It’s going to be okay, I promise, you’re not going into that arena, okay?” Annie pulls away and looks  up at you in shock and she’s shaking her head as she lifts her hand to her mouth to stifle her sobs. “You can’t” She says, and you smile back at her as you tuck her long hair behind her ear as you move to hug her, whispering in her ear, “I will make sure he comes back to you” and Annie  squeezes you tighter.

You realise then that whatever happens in the reaping and the games, that  its much bigger than you. Since Finnick had a high chance of volunteering for any of the younger and older victors you  knew that it was up to you to bring him back home. He had a reason to come back, Annie needed him more than you did, and you acknowledge that even if he had never loved you the same way you may love him, that with you dying breath you would make sure he came back to Annie.

The day of the reaping, you stood in the middle of Annie and Mags as they took out  the name for the female tribute, “The female tribute from District 4 is, Annie Cresta-“ Before the announcer is done speaking your mouth moves without thinking, “I volunteer as tribute.” You state with confidence and hear Annie flinch as tears rise in her eyes. You let go of her hand and walk to the front of the podium, the announcer looks at you in shock and sympathy before she announces, “Our Volunteer in place of Annie Cresta, Y/N Y/LN!” she states.

You feel Finnick’s hard gaze on you as they wait for the announcement of the male tribute. When Finnick’s name is called, your heart clenches in pain at the thought of your best friend having to see you die in the arena. His demeanour instantly  switches to play the part of the Capitol’s  prince as he makes his way to stand next to you.  You both smile at the crowd as you make your way towards the train to say goodbye  to your loved ones.

As Finnick and Annie say heartfelt goodbye’s you realise that nobody has come to see you, you wipe the tears pooling in your eyes as Annie turns to you after saying bye to Finnick, she runs and hugs you and thanks you softly in your ear. You squeeze her tightly and reiterate your previous promise before you’re met with the solemn gaze of Finnick.

You nudge him with your arm and playfully tease him, “That looks isn’t very Capitol Prince of you Finn”, his strained smile does not go unnoticed, but you attest it to the pain of having to relive the games however the only thought running through Finnick’s  mind is how he plans on keeping you safe.

Somehow you both think that trying to save the other might just be your own downfall.

#juliwrites #hunger gaames #finnick odair #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair x you #finnick x reader #finnick imagine #thg finnick #finnick odair fluff #finnick odair hurt/comfort #finnick odair imagine #finnick odair hc #finnick x oc #the hunger games x reader #the hunger games #the hunger games trilogy