#juliwrites

[heaven4lostgirls]

promises and dreams (part 3)

pairing: finnick odair x reader

warning: angst, canon typical violence and killing, mentions of finnick being trafficked

summary: finnick odair is your best friend, but somehow you cant find it within yourself to be aanything more. Now that the 75th Hunger Games calls for Victors to be reaped you make it your plan to bring Finnick back home to Annie or you will die trying

word count: 1.5k

a/n: part 3! i hope you guys like this, it might be a bit of a filler chapter but next chapter will be finnick and reader in the arena!

part 1, part 2, part 3

tag list: @l3xi3luv @yaesflorist @asapkyndall @midnowsss @fangirling-galore @marimarvelfan @d0p3ys-delusions @sierravogss @littleshadow17 @carolanns-world @pet1t3 @yourdailymemedelivery @merromimo (if your tags didn’t work pls check you can be tagged on your profile!)

Walking back to your room after the interviews, anxiety flooded your system. You knew that each of the tributes were doing their best to try and get the games cancelled and with Peeta’s sudden announcement, you all were waiting with bated breath in hopes that the games were stopped. However, realistically you all knew that you were all inevitably going to be put in the arena whether you liked it or not.

Finnick watches you with furrowed eyebrows as you try and control your breathing, your anxiety after coming out of the arena was horrible, the constant panic attacks and heart clenching fear that passed through you  at any given moment. “You, okay?” he murmurs as he nudges your side and you2 look up to him with tears lining your vision before you sniff, wipe your eyes, and give him a decisive nod. “Don’t worry about me” you tell him.

I’m always worrying about you. He thinks to himself and whilst in his own head, he realises he’s reached the room, as you unlock the door and walk to your own room, Finnick pauses and watches you walk, he sits on the couch in front of the tv and turns on some trashy Tv. As he hears the shower turn off and you make your way to sit on your bed, he gets up himself to walk to your room.

He pauses before he opens the door, he’s met with the sight of your wet hair as you sit in your pyjama’s as on the bed, looking out the window. “Hey” you mutter as you hear him walk closer. He only sits softly before you turn to look at him curiously. Without saying anything, you arch your eyebrow with urges Finnick to speak.

He looks almost embarrassed to speak and your look at his flushed cheeks before he murmurs softly, “Can I stay with you tonight…please?”  he asks and your throat chokes up in pain, the last time Finnick had ever asked to lay in your bed with you was just after you had found out President Snow had been selling his body.

..............................................................................................................................

When you wake, you’re alone on the bed and you can hear Finnick’s shower running on the opposite side of the apartment. You get up with ease as you shower and change into the training clothe provided by the Capitol. You stretch your limbs before you walk into the dining area where your stylist, Knox and mentor, Mags are sitting.

“Don’t you look lovely” Knox drawls as she watches you sit and pile your plate with food to prepare for the day, Mags only smiles kindly at you as she gestures to the time, letting you know that you should eat quickly if you want to be at the training grounds on time. “Lovely to see you too Knox” you say with a playful roll of your eyes.

You had spent majority of your time during your own games, hiding and only killing when necessary, however you knew you couldn’t possibly do that during the quarter quell and you needed to use your skills back at district 4 to your advantage.

You were pretty good with a spear, similarly with Finnick however you were exceptionally good knives, smaller ones that you had used back home gutting fish. That, was your primary focus of today, alongside forming allies. . Your train of thought is interrupted by hurried footsteps and a slammed door, you only catch the back of Finnick’s hair before he’s gone.

As you finish your meal you rush to the training grounds where you see Finnick already sparring a hologram with a trident, he looks focused, so you don’t bother to go up to him. Instead, you find yourself watching Johanna, she’s practicing with knives herself on a sparring mat and as you walk up to her, you see her glaring expression turn into a soft, somewhat still insane smile.

She’s about as angry as all the tributes on the grounds combined, you don’t  blame her because you know just how much she didn’t deserve to be dragged back here, just as much as you did. “Y/N Y/L/N” she says with a smile as you both hug one another, “ready to get your ass beat?” he cocks her eyebrow and you only meet her gaze with a smirk before you mutter, “ you’re on mason”.

Johanna’s strong, you’ll give her that, but her form is sloppy. She keeps her weak spots open too many times and you’re able to kill her far too easily for your liking, you spend your time giving her pointers as she helps you move with harsher movements and cleaner intents. She unsurprisingly enough knows the easiest places to cut that lead to the fastest deaths. ‘Crazy bitch’ you can’t help but think amusedly as you shake your head.

The only time you’re interrupted is when Katniss walks into the shooting range with her bow and arrow, slowly  but surely a crowd forms around her as you all watch  her take down all her targets seamlessly. “She’s going to be a problem” you hear Finnick mutter next to you and you still, you hadn’t even heard him walk up to you. Once composed however, you only look at  him slyly, “not if she’s an ally” you say. He looks impressed and nods before turning his gaze back to Katniss’ shooting which has ended.

 You all turn to carry on training before a bunch of peacekeepers walk up to you, Finnick and Johanna. You freeze in your place as you start thinking about the Capitol requesting Finnick’s presence, however the three of you are marched out of the grounds together. You and Finnick share a look of worry before he reaches across to grab your hand in comfort, before thinking better of it and moving his arm back to his side.

You’re all taken into a room where Plutarch Heavensbee sits in front of you all at a brown mahogany desk. “Welcome” he says with a smile on his face before he gestures to the three chairs laid out perfectly in front of his desk, “sit sit” he urges before you all cautiously take a seat.

“What the fuck is going on here?” Johanna says in an outburst of emotion, and you can only share her sentiment as you look at Plutarch with aa suspicious gaze. He only nods his head as the peacekeepers leave the room and then he turns completely serious as the smile drops off his face.

“I need your help” he says gravely, and you all look at each other in confusion, “District 13 is alive and well, there is a rebellion growing and I need your help in stopping the games and getting Katniss Everdeen out of that arena” he says, and your mouth can only drop open in shock.

You knew, just as everyone did about the riots that had taken place in the districts, but you had never had any way of knowing that it had grown to this stage. “A rebellion?” you can only question in astonishment before Plutarch sighs as he quickly mutters into a small mic before Haymitch walks through the doors behind you.

“This is fucking insane” Johanna cries and you look at Finnick who’s been silent the entire time, he looks at you for a brief second before turning his attention to Plutarch and Haymitch who seems to be swaying on his feet.

“Hey sweetheart” Haymitch says with a wink as he catches you looking at him in shock, you can’t help your smile before you hear Finnick scoff as he sarcastically mumbles the nickname under his breath, you look at him in confusion, but he avoids your gaze.

“You’re in on this?” you ask Haymitch as he looks at you with softness in his gaze, “Yeah,  I am. We need your help Y/N, we could take down Snow” he says and knowing Haymitch, everything he says shouldn’t be taken lightly in a time of seriousness.

You nod as you turn back to Plutarch and let him continue to explain the plan surrounding getting Katniss out of the arena safe and sound. He makes sure to mention that none of you are to die, if one of you are dead, the other two must carry your slack. You realise that even now, fighting for the rebellion. Your life is not your own, it belongs to Katniss, Finnick and even to Johanna. They have to make it out.

#juliwrites #the hunger games x reader #the hunger games trilogy #the hunger games #finnick x oc #finnick odair imagine #finnick imagine #thg finnick #finnick odair #finnick x reader #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair x you #finnick x y/n #mockingjay #thg series #katniss everdeen #johanna mason

[wander-yet-wonder]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Hetalia: Axis Powers Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Hungary/Prussia (Hetalia), Hungary & Prussia (Hetalia), Hungary/Female Prussia (Hetalia), lesbian pruhun, PruHun - Relationship Characters: Female Prussia (Hetalia), Hungary (Hetalia) Additional Tags: lesbian pruhun - Freeform, DDR, Historical Hetalia, it's set vaguely in the DDR but it's just windowdressing Summary:

Erzsébet and Julia are planning a heist, smuggling in goods from beyond the iron curtain. but julia will need a better disguise than that. What happens next might make you drop your pickle.

#pruhun #nyo prussia #aph hungary #aph prussia #lesbian pruhun #juliwrites

[heaven4lostgirls]

promises and dreams

pairing: finnick odair x reader

warning: angst, mentions of throwing up and blood, canon typical death and violence included!

summary: finnick odair is your best friend, but somehow you cant find it within yourself to be aanything more. Now that the 75th Hunger Games calls for Victors to be reaped you make it your plan to bring Finnick back home to Annie or you will die trying

word count: 1.3k

a/n: sorry ive been gone for so long! i have just finished uni so i am working on getting some more content out as soon as i can! have this to tide you over in the mean time but i can't wait to get back to posting! part 2?

part 1, part 2, part 3

You were sitting in the victors village of district 4 as you turned on the television to listen to the reaping news for the 75th Hunger Games. Your glass on the table in front of you was filled with amber liquid to quell the anxiety you felt as you hear Snow’s grating voice flood your home. Your hands are shaking as you’re forced to relive the memories of your own hunger games, which you had won at only 16.  

The victors that came after you were mentored by either you, or Finnick Odair, the Capitol’s prince. You had a harder time disassociating from  being a mentor when your tributes were in the games, Finnick always seemed so determined to get them sponsors and help them  in any way he could but for you, it was almost as worse as being in the games yourself.

Finnick and you had always been close, only drifting apart when his womanly companions found it necessary, he spend more time with them rather than you. You couldn’t blame them, if Finnick was yours you too would probably be uncomfortable but that never meant it hurt any less to see your best friend discard you as though you were nothing.

The only person you could never find it in yourself to dislike was ironically the only one of his  partner’s that  never dismissed  you, Annie Cresta. She was the epitome of beauty to you, there was no question about why Finnick fell in love with her. She had  been dealt just as bad of a hand in her own games and the both of you had found solace in one another. She could  not have been a better fit for Finnick and although your heart felt as though it was shattering each time you were forced to watch him look at her the way you longed, he would  look at you, you stayed strong.

That was how you found a paternal comfort in Haymitch Abernathy, Katniss Everdeen’s mentor, he was one of the only people who understood how easy it was for you to turn to drinking in favour of trying to find your tributes sponsors because of your own trauma. He knew just as well as you did just how  hard your games were for you; you had fought tooth and nail to make it back to your family only for them to turn you away in disgust for the atrocities you had committed in the games.

One of them always haunting you, You and 12-year-old George were the last tributes standing in the arena and you knew straight away that there was no way you would  be going home, you couldn’t kill him. That was until he ran to attack you and in a strike of defence you had pushed him, he had landed on one of the spears of the dead tributes. His lifeless eyes have haunted your nightmares to  this day.

As you tune back into the Capitol TV, you hear Snow’s voice state, “…the third quarter quell games, the male and female tributes are to be reaped from the existing pool of victors from each district”. Your heart thuds inn your chest as bile rises in your throat. You can feel your eyes burning with unshed tears as you disconnect from reality.  The only thing that brings you back is the realisation that the other victors may  just as well be in the same predicament.

You get up to go to Finnick’s house, the light is on, so you know he must be at home so as you knock on the door, shaking on the front step in either coldness or fear, you’re no longer sure, you’re greeted with Finnick’s hard gaze as he opens the door to let you in. You whisper a small greeting as your eyes travel to the couch in front of the TV where Annie sits, she’s a mess of tears and you can only hold off for so long before you make your way towards her to comfort her.  

Finnick watches the both of you in pain and worry as you try and keep yourself composed to focus on Annie, you know just how hard it must  be for her, she had never truly been okay after her games so right then you had made the decision. If Annie’s name was ever called, you would volunteer for her, you could not sit at home and watch one of your best friends relive their pain on national television as you sat back and did nothing.

“I can’t believe this; how can they  do this?  After our games we were supposed to live! I can’t go back there” Annie says, and you softly rock the both of you as you rub her back, you look over her shoulder to where Finnick is standing and watching you both as his features tighten in anger.

“It’s going to be okay, I promise, you’re not going into that arena, okay?” Annie pulls away and looks  up at you in shock and she’s shaking her head as she lifts her hand to her mouth to stifle her sobs. “You can’t” She says, and you smile back at her as you tuck her long hair behind her ear as you move to hug her, whispering in her ear, “I will make sure he comes back to you” and Annie  squeezes you tighter.

You realise then that whatever happens in the reaping and the games, that  its much bigger than you. Since Finnick had a high chance of volunteering for any of the younger and older victors you  knew that it was up to you to bring him back home. He had a reason to come back, Annie needed him more than you did, and you acknowledge that even if he had never loved you the same way you may love him, that with you dying breath you would make sure he came back to Annie.

The day of the reaping, you stood in the middle of Annie and Mags as they took out  the name for the female tribute, “The female tribute from District 4 is, Annie Cresta-“ Before the announcer is done speaking your mouth moves without thinking, “I volunteer as tribute.” You state with confidence and hear Annie flinch as tears rise in her eyes. You let go of her hand and walk to the front of the podium, the announcer looks at you in shock and sympathy before she announces, “Our Volunteer in place of Annie Cresta, Y/N Y/LN!” she states.

You feel Finnick’s hard gaze on you as they wait for the announcement of the male tribute. When Finnick’s name is called, your heart clenches in pain at the thought of your best friend having to see you die in the arena. His demeanour instantly  switches to play the part of the Capitol’s  prince as he makes his way to stand next to you.  You both smile at the crowd as you make your way towards the train to say goodbye  to your loved ones.

As Finnick and Annie say heartfelt goodbye’s you realise that nobody has come to see you, you wipe the tears pooling in your eyes as Annie turns to you after saying bye to Finnick, she runs and hugs you and thanks you softly in your ear. You squeeze her tightly and reiterate your previous promise before you’re met with the solemn gaze of Finnick.

You nudge him with your arm and playfully tease him, “That looks isn’t very Capitol Prince of you Finn”, his strained smile does not go unnoticed, but you attest it to the pain of having to relive the games however the only thought running through Finnick’s  mind is how he plans on keeping you safe.

Somehow you both think that trying to save the other might just be your own downfall.

#juliwrites #hunger gaames #finnick odair #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair x you #finnick x reader #finnick imagine #thg finnick #finnick odair fluff #finnick odair hurt/comfort #finnick odair imagine #finnick odair hc #finnick x oc #the hunger games x reader #the hunger games #the hunger games trilogy

[heaven4lostgirls]

promises and dreams (part 2)

pairing: finnick odair x reader

warning: angst, mentions of finnick being trafficked, president sn*w

summary: finnick odair is your best friend, but somehow you cant find it within yourself to be aanything more. Now that the 75th Hunger Games calls for Victors to be reaped you make it your plan to bring Finnick back home to Annie or you will die trying

word count: 2.1k

a/n: thank you for the love on this fic! i'm not sure when part 3 will be out but hopefully soon! let me know if you want to be part of a tag list for this fic!

part 1, part 2, part 3

Finnick’s hard gaze follows you as you take your place on the train, his eyebrows furrows as he watches you pick at your skin as you watch the scenery pass through the windows. Before long he can’t help but voice his thoughts, “Why would you do that?” he blurts out and watches as you look up at him surprised, “do what?” you question and watch as he drags his hand over his jawline in frustration.

“Why would you volunteer for Annie?” he pushes and watches as you look back at him in surprise before you collect yourself and answer him. “To keep her safe” you answer truthfully, you know you can’t tell him you also did it to keep safe, if you did you know full well, he would place himself in front of you and any possible life-threatening situations. 

“I would  have kept her safe” he urges and a part of your heart clenches as you watch how fervently he seems to be pushing the subject. Even though  Annie seemed to have survived the reaping, she will always be the first thing on his mind even if you could quite likely be living the last few days of your life.

While you’re thinking about how Finnick  seems not to care about your impending death  his mind is filled with that exact thought. He can’t understand why you would volunteer in place of Annie; he would have been able to help Annie and keep her safe, but you were a loose rocket, he knew he couldn’t contain you and there was next to no way he would be able to protect you with your stubbornness.

He continues thinking of ways to help you throughout  the games and although he promises himself to help you get home, he realises that in doing so, he’ll have to die too, and he can’t really think too hard about that because he has spent his entirety of his life after being crowned a victor telling and teaching tributes after him to fight.

You can only watch as his expression turns from frustrated to sad and fighting the urge to give him space you find yourself speaking to comfort him instead, “its going to be okay” you mention hopefully, truthfully not only to Finnick but to yourself as well. You’ve made your peace with what must happen and although Finnick  is unaware you hope that with your words you can bring him some form of comfort.

“What’re you talking about?” he asks confused, and you just look at him as you repeat your previous sentiment, his confusion only pains you to know that your closest confidant may not understand the gravity of the situation you are both about to face.

Time passes on the train to the Capitol and although Finnick and you try and keep each other’s emotions high, you both can’t help but feel pressure within yourselves and revisit past trauma as you reach the city. You know that for Finnick the months and even years after his games were not easy for him, not because he had won, well partly, but more because Snow had auctioned Finnick off like a pig to slaughter.

You watched as he fought to clench and unclench his jaw, the slight shake in his hands. As you both arrived at the Capitol you were greeted by excited faces of the wealthiest citizens in Panem, you fought the urge to scream and cry at how excited they looked to see the both of you being shipped off your deaths.

“Smile.” Finnick urges you as he looks out of the glass to all the people, he slips perfectly back into his ‘Prince of Panem’ demeanour  and you can only watch with unease as the fakest of smiles grace his face as he lifts his right arm into the air to wave to the onlookers.

You can only attempt to do the same whilst assuring yourself that this is all part of the bigger picture, to survive this act has to be perfect.

As Finnick and you are escorted off the train to the innermost buildings within the Capitol. The strained smile never leaves either of your faces and away from camera’s, your hands stay interlocked. You continue to try and calm yourselves down as you both meet with your stylists to prepare for the parade.

Your stylists lean into the fishing component of district four as you are dressed in a dark blue bikini top and mini skirt that flows and sticks to your body, complimenting your skin tone. Your makeup is filled with glittery blues and whites. Finnick’s look is a lot more subdued in comparison to your own however he does look handsome in his dark blue kilt and spear.

Your eyes follow the expanse of his chest, and you have to fight the urge to run up to him just so you could feel the ridges of his muscles as your fingertips dance over his uncovered skin, although as you spend the time saying hello to the horses, Finnick detaches from you to walk backwards in the line of carriages.

You follow his figure as he reaches the woman of the hour, Katniss Everdeen. You watch his flirt with her shamelessly and your chest hurts, not only for you but for Annie as well but you realise that if Finnick has one advantage, it’s his good looks so knowing he’s trying to find an alliance you let him carry on without interference.

Although humour takes on a human form in Peeta Mellark, Katniss’ teammate, he looks like he’s about to punch Finnick in the throat although a part of you wonders if he’d be able to reach that high. You stifle a giggle at the thought and look back at Katniss and Finnick’s conversation in time for you to see him shove a sugar cube in his mouth.

Ew. You think and although he walks back looking cool you watch as he grimaces as he reaches your carriage. At that point the only thing you can do is wheeze in laughter as he looks at you annoyed trying to get the sugar granules out of his teeth.

“That was sex appeal-“ he starts before you bark out another short laugh as you wheeze, tears come to your eyes before you slap his bicep as he rolls his eyes, “sex appeal!” you repeat as though it’s the funniest thing you’ve heard in years and maybe it might be.

You calm down and see Finnick looking at you with a raised eyebrow, “it was not that funny” he says, and you smirk in his direction, “It was when you resembled the horses when chewing that sugar cube, Mr sex appeal” you smile, and he only nudges you playfully as they announce the first district.

Your heart beats fast and loud within your chest s district four is called alongside your names, you and Finnick both smile politely and wave towards the roaring crowds before you take your place in front of President Snow’s podium.

You watch as all the districts parade out but as soon as you hear the applause and cheers go louder, you look back to see Katniss and Peeta’s outfits on fire. How fitting, you think and smile as you watch them.

They, alongside everyone else, may not be happy to be there but you can tell by looking at them, how in love with each other the both of them are.

The transfer from the parade to the interview is a blur, the only way you can describe yourself is numb. The cheers, Snow, the other tributes, they all become one jumbled mess inside your mid as your sole purpose is to do what you understand every other tribute has to do, act.

You are interviewed after Finnick and as you watch his interview, as it comes to an end Flickerman opens his mouth to speak again, “Finnick, I understand that you have a message for somebody out there, a special somebody, can we hear it?” he laughs as he pushes the microphone to Finnick to answer.

You look on in confusion, what could he possibly be doing? Finnick’s mask slips a bit, and you watch in all seriousness as he speaks, “My love, you have my heart for all eternity and uh, if I die in that arena, my last thought will be of your lips” he says into the camera and a shuddering breath passes through you. You blink back tears as you realise Finnick was speaking to Annie and as he takes his place back next to you, you send him a wobbly but hopefully reassuring smile.

You promise yourself that you will do whatever it takes for Finnick to get back to Annie.

You interview is next as Caesar looks at you with an indulgent smile, “Y/N, we’ve heard from your teammate that he’s hopeful to make it back to his special someone, is there any special someone you’re hoping to make it back to?” he asks with an indulgent smile.

You smile back fakely as you answer, “Unfortunately not Caesar!” you reply as the crowd ‘awes’ in faux sympathy. “Well then I’m sure your family must be rooting for you!”  he says as he tries another angle, but you just shake you head, “No actually, I volunteered for my friend Annie Cresta because I knew she needed me to, so really I’m just here for her” you say with a smile as you look at the Tv. Caesar nods and ends the interview as he welcomes Johanna Mason from district 7 to the stage.

You join Finnick on the podium  where all the tributes stand and he pulls himself down to whisper in your ears, “what the fuck was that?” he asks sternly and you look at him confused, “don’t play dumb, ‘I’m just here for her’ what the fuck did that mean Y/N” he hisses, and you shake him off. “Exactly what I meant Finnick, now shut up” you say and shake his hand off you as a small tear runs down your face.

You both stand silent next to one another as you watch the different tributes get interviewed in front of you before Katniss walks out in one of the most beautiful wedding gowns you’ve ever seen, you gasp softly at how elegant she looks as you somewhat remember the announcement of her and Peeta getting engaged before the reaping.

Her interview goes very smoothly as Caesar prods at her about how she was unable to have her wedding, however as she turns to show off her gown, it erupts in flames as it turns into a beautiful blue and black  colour with wings around the back. “A Mockingjay” you and Katniss both say in sync as you look at the dress in disbelief.

Peeta’s interview comes next and although he looks completely assured and confidence you can see the slight shake in his fingers and Caesar questions him, “But Peeta, the wedding, a marriage never to be?” he asks softly and Peter doesn’t waste any time before answering, “Actually we got married, in secret” he confesses and you watch Katniss as she tries to keep her composure and you realise then and there that Peeta is lying.

Interesting. You think, why would be Peeta be lying to Flickerman of all people? Although Caesar takes the news very well as he continues to ask Peeta more questions, “A secret wedding? Do tell” he prods.

“We want our love to be eternal” he states and your heart clenches at the thought, he could be very good at tricking Caesar, but you knew right away any romantic feelings he held towards Katniss was completely truthful. Maybe you and him weren’t  so different after all. “You know Katniss and I have been luckier than most, I wouldn’t have any regrets at all i-if it weren’t-“ he stutters, and you look at him in worry.

“If it weren’t for what?” Caesar prods, “if it weren’t for the baby” he says finally, and you and Finnick turn to each other in shock before composing yourselves as the crowd becomes rowdy. People begin booing and voicing their concerns as Peeta takes his place next to Katniss. You watch as victors begin joining hands and you realise why Peeta announced what he did.

You join hands with Finnick in solidarity alongside another victor from district 5, If the Capitol wanted to go back on their words, they needed to realise that it had consequences, you all lift your hands in sync as the curtains shut around you. Peeta Mellark may just be more interesting than he seems.

#juliwrites #the hunger games x reader #the hunger games trilogy #finnick odair imagine #finnick imagine #finnick x oc #thg finnick #finnick odair #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair x you #finnick x reader #thg #peeta #annie cresta #catching fire #the hunger games

[heaven4lostgirls]

Hi!! I was just wondering if you could do a Finnick Odair x reader where Finnick is sick or something but refuses to ask for help because he is still being forced to do stuff for Snow and the reader eventually taking care of him after it gets really bad?

pairing: finnick odair x reader

warning: angst, mentions of blood, scarring, cuts and bruises, mentions of finnick's trafficking and panic attacks.

word count: 965 words

a/n: hi my love! thank you so much for the request! i hope this is what you imagined

Your heart clenches as you watch the clock tick on the wall of Finnick’s house within the victor’s village in district 4, Finnick was supposed to meet you over an hour ago however, as of late, he seems to be showing up later and later. The urge to bash your head into the wall in front of you out of frustration. You sigh softly before you hear the click of the door opening.

You look up and watch as Finnick stumbles into his house, clenching his side as he grits his teeth. You gasp softly which draws his attention to you. Your eyes are wide with shock and  slowly start to fill with tears before he quickly hobbles his way to his room and then to his en-suite bathroom.

“Finnick!” you admonish as you watch his huff and wince as he clutches his side through his shirt, that he struggles to pull it over his head. You wonder if whether you should walk over and help him. You know more or less of what his visits to the Capitol were for, but you never knew that his…customers, were so harsh on him.

You let the tears welling in your eyes fall freely down your cheeks, which you hastily wipe, this has nothing to do with you. You walk swiftly over to Finnick as you watch him give up on trying to get  his shirt off and instead dabbing the cuts on his face with alcohol.

“I’m assuming this is why you were late” you speak softly as you see him wince and look down in shame, your heart cracks at the embarrassed expression that floods his face. He nods in response, “Snow only let me know after I was done getting ready to meet you” he mutters as he scoffs, and you bite your lip to hold back a sob at his damaged self.

“Let me” you urge him as he tries to dab a cut on his cheek, you reach for the cotton pad but as your fingers come in front of his face, he flinches and backs away from you with a scared expression. “Finn?” you question his reaction, apologetic and scared of hurting him even further.

“Don’t!” he exclaims as you try to walk closer to him, “please don’t! no more!” he cries as his voice breaks and you immediately crouch next to him, careful not to touch him. “Hey hey, It’s Y/N, okay? I’m not going to hurt you” you soothe his incoherent mumbling as you speak to him in soft tones.

His panicked gaze meets yours and as his eyes shut in pain, you can only watch as tears fall from his eyes. You keep your expression calm and understand that you must put Finnick’s wellbeing before your own. “Can I touch you Finnick?” you ask him softly and as you wait for his soft nod; you encompass his frail form in a hug.

His body starts to shake as sobs wrack through it and you bite your lip to stifle your own sob. You hold him softly as you rock him back and forth as you let him cry it out, you know that he hasn’t been able to tell anyone about his circumstances with what Snow has been doing with him, but you know he needs you right now.

“I-I’m sorry” he blubbers through his tears that he tries to wipe away, but you softly place your hand on his as you wipe away his tears with the wrist of your shirt, “There’s nothing to be sorry for Finn, it’s perfectly alright” you say with a warm smile as you finish wiping his tears.

He looks up at you shyly, you stand up before outstretching your hand to help him up. He does so slowly before you manoeuvre him patiently to sit on the counter and as you stand in his open legs as you reach behind him for the cotton pad doused in alcohol.

“Let me help you, please Finnick” you plead into his gaze, and he waits a second before he nods softly. You take the cotton swab and delicately dab his cheek, stopping when he hisses too loud. Slowly but surely, you make your way through cleaning and treating his cuts and bruises.

As you softly pull his shirt over his head in slow and calculated motions, you’re met with the gory gaze of sharp cuts all over his side and back. You place your hand over your mouth in horror before you open your mouth to speak in a breathless manner, “this looks like they were made by a-” your sorrowful voice is interrupted by Finnick’s cold and distant one, “A whip” he says without emotion and wince.

“Oh Finn” you soothe, and he only shakes his head as he reaches for your hands, “I’m fine, I’m going to be okay” he says looking into your eyes. You grit your teeth as you watch him try to excuse what had occurred, “I’m going to kill Snow-” you utter before Finnick tuts at you.

“Calm down trouble.” He smirks at you, and you can only shake your head, “Finnick look at what he did to you!” you exclaim, and he only brings you into a soft hug as he kisses the side of your head and when your frown stays in place, he pouts a little before he returns to placing kisses all over your facet that inevitably fades your frown and in place emerges a soft smile and giggle.

“My little vigilante” he hums and you only scoff as you softly push his chest in feigned annoyance, “Shut up Finnick” you urge and he only gasps before he picks you up swiftly to carry you to the bedroom, “Make me” he raises his eyebrow.

#juliwrites #the hunger games x reader #finnick odair imagine #finnick imagine #finnick x oc #thg finnick #finnick odair #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair x you #finnick x reader #thg #the hunger games #annie cresta #finnick odair angst

[heaven4lostgirls]

Best Friend (R.C)

pairing: rafe cameron x reader, possibly jj maybank x reader

warning: hurt/comfort i believe? i'm not sure. rafe's an ass but also psycho but what else is new. JJ is a cutie and we love him. mentions of unrequited feelings and jealousy.

summary: being rafe's best friend used to be one of the best things in life, until it wasnt. now its time for you to make your own choices and rafe isnt too happy about that.

word count: 2.3k

a/n: as i said, my motivation is back so say hello to a new story!, not sure if i'll continue this but if you want another part, i'll be open to trying to write another piece.

Rafe and you had been friends since before you could even know what the word meant. Y/N and Rafe, Rafe, and Y/N, never one without the other, a package deal since the day you could remember. It was beautiful, truly. Having someone you could trust unconditionally; sure, you had your family and other close friends but none of them ever knew you as well as Rafe did. His ability to see not just you, but your soul was something you couldn’t imagine finding with someone else.

Which is why for the last 5 years, you’ve spent quietly trying to kill the crush you’d developed on your best friend. Every piece of attention he had ever given you, every small touch and sweet gesture just nurtured your heart faster than any of his sexual conquests and questionable habits could ever break it. You followed his figure through the party he had thrown at house, the smell of drugs, alcohol and sweaty bodies all mushed together to create the distinct atmosphere of a typical Rafe Cameron rager.

He was known for these parties; you both were actually. You and Rafe were unanimously dubbed the prince and princess of the OBX. You were once fond of that title but as time passed and you watched from the sidelines as a new girl sat of Rafe’s lap as you were left behind to do your own thing, it became a harder pill to swallow. Currently, he had his arm wrapped around a beautiful brunette who looked nothing like you, which seemed to be a recurring theme.

You watched as he sat down on one of the couches on the balcony near his friends and pulled the girl into his lap, your eyes stung but you knew better than to let your emotions get the better of you. Now was not the time to lose your cool, someone could see, and the news would spread fast to Rafe and with his inebriated state from who knows what, you weren’t willing to take the chances he was going to act in a sane way.

So, you blinked harshly, refilled your cup with your drink of choice and went back to the party, aiming to ignore Rafe and his company for the most part until  he eventually got bored and came looking for you. Fortunately for you, you spot Kiara and the rest of the Pogue’s outside near the fire pit. It’s usually very rare to see any of them  at one of these parties, more so because of Sarah’s strained relationship with her brother.

It’s comforting to meet their warm and happy gazes, you haven’t been able to spend much time with them because Rafe had monopolised most of it, he also didn’t particularly enjoy you choosing to spend your time with someone else other than him. Fortunately for you, parties like these lets you branch out and speak to new people without having to worry about Rafe breathing down your neck.

“Hey Y/N!” John B calls out and the rest of the group turns with excited and warm looks on their faces, the calm that washes over your body is immediate and you walk over to them to say hi. “Hey” you mutter shy as the girls get up to hug you as you sit in-between JJ and Sarah. “Haven’t seen you much around the island recently, you doing, okay?” Kiara asks curiously and you chew on your lip as you wonder what to tell her.

“No yeah I’m good, it’s just…Rafe you know?” you say, somewhat embarrassed that you don’t have a better excuse for the group. As you look down to your lap, you miss the look of sympathy that Kiara and Sarah share, they know just how bad it is to be caught  up with Rafe. “Hey, are you busy tomorrow?” Sarah pipes in and you look at her in surprise, this is the first time someone’s ever invited you to hang out.

“No?” you say confused and Sarah looks at the group before breaking out in a big smile before mentioning, “We’re all going to the beach tomorrow, it’s supposed to be a really good surf day” she says as she looks at you expectantly. “We’d love if you could join us” Kiara adds and the smile that lights up is almost blinding. “That sounds great! I’m not too good at surfing but I’d still like to come if you’ll have me” you say a little embarrassed and the rest of the group just voices their agreement before Pope breaks the chatter.

“John B’s teaching Sarah tomorrow how to get the bigger waves and I’ll be helping Kie fish, but JJ’s free if you want some help” he offers and the man in question looks surprised at the suggestion. You’re shocked but you look at JJ with a small smile and shrug of your shoulders. “Yeah, no worries, I don’t know how good of a teacher I’ll be, but I can try” he says, and you nod excitedly.

The night moves on swiftly with friendly chatter between 6 of you. You  surprisingly don’t feel excluded when they start sharing all their memories together, you’re happy to sit back and listen and before you know it, the party starts dying down and people start either dozing off right where they are or leaving to get home. You try to find Rafe but one sympathetic look from Topper lets you know that he’s in his room…not alone.

With no ride home and Topper wasted, you have no way home. You’re about to start walking but you see the lights of a run-down van come to a stop across the street before the door opens and JJ’s voice carries through the night. “C’mon! John B’s our DD tonight, you can get a lift bunk with us for the night.” He offers and you gladly accept, you all make your way back to the chalet and as everyone gets to their designated sleeping areas, there’s no space for you on any of the couches.

Pope offers you his space so he can sleep on the floor, but you decline, letting him know its okay. You settle in on the cold floor and try to readjust to get a comfortable spot before you feel someone shaking your arm. You  open your eyes and blink slightly to see JJ’s ruffled hair and outstretched hand, you look at him confusedly but nonetheless comply. He pulls you up and navigates the chalet like second nature, “You can sleep in my bed, I’ll take the floor.” He whispers and you shake your head vehemently.

“No, I’m not taking your bed, you sleep there. I was fine on the floor” you argue, and he rolls his eyes as he pulls you into the room. “I could hear your shuffling through the door, just sleep in the bed y/n.” he says amused, your lips twitch into a smile as you look at him in the eyes. “No.” you say, and his eyes roll again as he huffs and moves to the bed to lie down on one side.

Before you can leave you see him pat the space next to him. “You coming or what?” he mumbles sleepily. You hesitate for a second before you realise that it’s better than sleeping on the floor. You get in on the other side of the bed and place the blanket over the bottom half of your body. As you doze off, you’re mildly aware of someone pulling you closer to their chest and soft breathing against your neck.

You wake up to your phone buzzing, as you pick it up you notice almost a dozen missed calls from Rafe and over fifty texts ranging from asking where you are to confusion that you’re not at his place or your own, to anger that you’re not answering him. Your heads still pounding from the alcohol last night so all you do is send him and your parents a text saying your safe and you’re spending the day with some friends at the beach.

JJ groans from behind you and you’re suddenly aware of his arm wrapped around your waist and his legs tangled with yours. “Why’re you up so early” he mumbles into your neck, and you can’t help but laugh softly. “Sorry, my phone woke me up” you mumble sheepishly. “Then put it off and let’s go back to sleep” he groans as he tightens his arms around you which makes your face heat.

 Just as you turn your phone off and place it on the side table, the door opens and John B’s voice floats through the room. “JJ, get up we’re leaving in 10-” he stops midway through as he catches you and JJ together, you go to tell him what happened, but he just shakes his head and smiles. “I’ll see you both up and ready in 10 minutes, Y/N, Sarah left you a spare bikini in  the bathroom if you need it.” He says cheerfully as he closes the door before you can finish saying thanks.

JJ groans and throws his arm over his eyes before he smirks and lets out a huff of laughter which sends you both into fits of laughter. After you all get ready and are on your way to the beach, you and JJ spend your time talking and catching up with one another, being around the same age you both knew of each other but had never been particularly close. You come to loathe that as you find out just how funny and caring JJ is as a person.

When you reach the beach, you see that JJ had packed a spare board for you. Your heart warms at the gesture as he carries both to the water. The waves aren’t particularly high right now so as you both paddle in, you’re comfortable enough to ride a few of the smaller ones. As they get higher, you let JJ catch a few before he comes back to help you. You spend around an hour letting JJ manoeuvre you to get a good position on the board and working on your technique. It takes a couple tries of you falling off the board and trusting JJ to catch you before you’re even comfortable with trying one of the waves.

Unbeknownst to you, Rafe had been stressing the fuck out after waking up without you this morning. He had spent the better part of an hour trying to find you, you weren’t at his, nor at your parents. He’d only gotten it out of topper that he saw you leaving in a car after the party ended so safe to assume he was losing his shit. Where the fuck had you possibly have gone? Who could you have gone with? You didn’t have any friends other than him, and he knows that none of the guys at the party would have tried to sleep with you when  they knew you inadvertently belonged to him.

Mind you, when you finally bothered to answer his dozen calls and texts, all you had sent was “I’m okay don’t worry, I’m spending the day at the beach with some friends, I’ll see you tomorrow!” like hell you would. Who did you think he was? He was not going to let you just flounce around anywhere when there were people that could hurt you. Also, these “friends” you spoke about just about made him angry enough to fuel the urge to kill someone. Who could you possibly be talking about? All the people you two spent your time with were either at home still or at his place which he knew could only mean you were at the beach with those dirty fucking pogues.

You were gonna do Rafe’s head in, running off from him and the party to hang out with them? He scoffed at the thought. They didn’t know you like he knew you. They wouldn’t treat you as well as he did. Thinking about that dick John B that had roped his stupid fucking sister into their plans made his blood boil at the thought that they could be doing the same to you. The thought only made him speed faster to the beach.

Once he got there, oh was his blood definitely boiling. Fucking JJ. With his scummy little hands all over your body, in one of the tiniest swimsuits he’d ever seen you in. God, you looked beautiful. It was hard to dwell on that fact when all he could see was you laughing and splashing around with JJ whilst he stood on the beach glaring daggers at the blonde boy’s figure.

“Y/N!” he bellowed across the beach, and he gloated in the horror that washed over your face as you turned to look at the beach with JJ’s stupid fucking arms still wrapped around your waist. You try to smile and wave at him, but his anger must show on his face as you drop your hand and look  at him in confusion. “Come here!” he yells again and watches as you turn to JJ to ask a question, the blonde idiot in question just shrugs and smiles up at you.

He watches as you take a deep breath before you turn to him and shake your head whilst yelling a “NO” across the beach. His jaw clenches at your statement as he continues glaring. “I’m not playing around Y/N. COME. HERE.” He yells again and watches as JJ tells you something softly that you laugh at before you turn to him deviously before yelling out, “Fuck off Rafe” with a big smile on your face.

He inhales sharply as his gaze hardens on the both of you. Fine. You wanna be like that? Okay. He’s not letting you get off that easy. He smirks at the thought as he stalks off to his car to drive off. He’ll wait you out if he has to, and when you do come out. You’lll regret ever using that tone with him.

#juliwrites #obx #obx fic #obx fanfiction #rafe obx #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron angst #rafe imagine #rafe cameron #rafe outer banks #rafe x reader #outerbanks rafe #dark rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x reader angst #rafe cameron x reader hurt/comfort #jj maybank #jj mayback x reader #jj mayback imagine #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank fluff

[heaven4lostgirls]

I deserve better (A.H)

pairing: aaron hotchner x reader

warning: angst, breakups, mentions of haley's death, reader is compared to haley, breakdowns, aaron has healing to do</3

summary: aaron comes home from a hard case with his decision already made, he's in for a very rude awakening when reader sees right through his bs.

word count: 1.5k

There was a loneliness in the air that felt almost palpable after your breakup with Aaron. It felt like an amalgamation of every broken promise and empty silences you both sat in, trying to grasp onto invisible strings surrounding your love. If you thought hard enough, you could almost clearly imagine what used to be his breathing when he used to lie on the now cold side of the bed. His presence haunted every empty corner of your now prodigious apartment.

You closed your eyes in the dark as your mind unwillingly drifted to the conversation with your now ex-boyfriend.      The sound of the door opening to Aaron’s home made you look away from the television as you waited with bated breath and a smile to see your boyfriend, only the expression he held on his face when your gazes met was one you knew you would commit to memory. Guilt, anguish. Probably worse if you had bothered to push deeper but you knew that you couldn’t do that yourself.

“Aaron?” your voice echoes in the living room and all he can do is hesitate, you watch as his hands shake as he places his badge, gun and bag down before making his way to you, his steps purposeful yet cautious and deep down you knew that whatever he was going to say was going to change the trajectory of your relationship.

“Hey” he whispers as he sits on the opposite end of the couch which only cements your worries, maybe he’s finally decided that him and Jack didn’t need another addition to their family, maybe he’s decided he’s had enough of you. “We need to talk” he starts, and your only response is a small nod as your underlying anxiety bubbles under your skin like a festering wound.

 “This- This case, it really made me realise something.” He starts and you can already feel your expression shifting from worry to confusion, he must recognise your own emotions as you do his as he continues swiftly. “The unsub mentioned you when we caught him, he knew your name” he says harshly and you look at him shocked, why hadn’t he told you any of this when you’d called him after he had wrapped up the case? “I promised myself when Haley passed away that I would never put someone I cared about in the position to be used against me” he says and your heart drops.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you ask out of genuine curiosity. He closes his eyes and clenches his hands into fists, “I think you know.” He croaks out and you scoff which only causes him to look at you  in confusion, “You’re being selfish” you bite out and he looks alarmed at the harsh words. “You’re not even letting me choose what I want to do about my OWN safety?” you ask harshly but soft enough as to not wake Jack up.

 He’s shaking his head before you can even finish your sentence, “you don’t get it!” he insists as he implores you understand what he’s saying. “you-you’ve never had to hold your d-dead wife’s body in your hands, wishing for her to come back, wishing you could tell her how much she means to you” he insists as his eyes well with tears and your heart drops at his confession.

“And I hope I never have to feel that, but Aaron you can’t keep taking your grief out on our relationship, I  know it hurts, but how  am I supposed to think you’re ending this for me when you’re putting Haley first even in death?” you whisper and against your own better judgement, you feel a few tears fall from your eyes.

“That-That is NOT what is happening.” He says again and you can see the frustration boiling over for him, “That’s not fair to me Aaron, you know that” you say, and you watch as confusion shifts on his features, “Wait no hold on, I didn’t mean it like that-”

“You didn’t have to. I always thought you’d meant in a constructive way for me, consistently telling me when I make Jack’s meals that it’s not the way Haley would’ve made it, when you tell me not to buy certain perfumes and body washes because it reminded you too much of Haley. But now I realise that you’ve been carrying this dead weight after her death, and it’s not fair for me to be carrying it with you. I will never replace Haley, but I do know that I deserve a lot more than being compared to her everyday just because you haven’t dealt with your grief.”

“Honey, hold on, just wait please-”

“I was going to fight for you Aaron , truly.  I came into this conversation thinking of ways to help you not give up on us, but I can’t do that when the one thing pushing you is a woman I can never compete with.”

Aaron looks distraught and your heart feels simultaneously lighter and broken at the same time, His healing needed to take priority and you knew that his journey didn’t necessarily have space for you. And that was okay, at the end of the day the one thing you had always wished was to see Aaron Hotchner happy, and if that meant he had to do it without you, you would deal.

“I love you” he says, his eyes begging you to believe him, and your lips lift at his statement, as they’ve done a million times before, a force of habit. You shift closer to him and grasp his hand in yours as you place your other one on his face. His eyes close at the contact and he starts shaking his head, “Don’t- don’t do this right now. Please don’t do this Y/N.” his voice cracks.

Your lips quivers and you attempt to move your hand to smother the sob building in your chest but as your hand lifts off of his cheek his eyes are open wide, alarmed to feel you slipping away and he grasps you closer to him, looking into your eyes wildly as you look into his eyes, hoping all of your love is shining through them. “You know I have to.” You whisper and his expression is pained as he feels your hands run through his hair.

“I  can’t do this without you” he confesses as he chokes on his tears, his hands grasping to your hips and arms as though you’d disappear if he looked away. “You’re going to be just fine, I promise” you say, and he shakes his head before the sobs escape him and he leans his head into your body as sobs wrack through his body. Warbled cries of “I’m sorry” flood from him and all you can do is hold him through it, hoping it  brings him some form of comfort.

You console him until he tires himself out, he looks so much more peaceful when he’s asleep, his furrowed brow is smoothed out and if not for the tear tracks running down his cheeks you would never be able to know how much pain he was just in. You manoeuvre him to lay on the couch, a suitable enough pillow under his head and a soft blanket covering him. Your hand still lays outstretched in his grip, and you bite your lip as you try to let him let go.

As  soon as your hand leaves his grip, he’s  whimpering and grasping for some form of contact from you, you quickly snatch one of Jack’s teddy bears from the floor and you place it within his grasp, he grasps it almost immediately and holds it close to his chest. Your eyes mist over and you take a few minutes to breathe deeply and once calm, you quickly plan.

You take an old overnight bag you used to use before you started staying for weekends, such as this one. You pack the clothes you use the most and some work essentials before packing up your toiletries and everything else that can fit in your car. Everything looks so immensely empty when all your stuff is gone, with a quick little kiss to Jack’s cheek, you switch on your car, and you drive the route to your apartment.

In the silence and solace of your car, you allow yourself to break, sobs wrack through your body and your scream and cry as you make the drive to your place. You break again when you see the emptiness and coldness of your apartment, there’s none of Jack’s drawings on the fridge, none of Aarons past case files on the dining table, none of their shoes at the entrance and none of everything of what you loved and missed dearly.

Which brings you to now, in your bed, unable to look at the other side usually occupied by an Aaron sized lump. You don’t sleep, when the sun starts rising and coming through your room, you don’t move. When your alarm goes off at 7AM, you don’t move. When Aaron’s name flashes on your screen with multiple unanswered calls, you don’t move. You eventually get  up to go to work and exist throughout the day.

Nobody asks you what’s wrong and you don’t divulge, you know it will take you a long time to feel okay enough to even see Aaron again but for now, you can mourn and think of what could have been as you learn how to live without half of yourself.

#juliwrites #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds angst #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch #aaron hotch hotchner #hotch x reader #hotch angst

[heaven4lostgirls]

“i was listening to your heartbeat”

sirius black x gn!reader

tags: fluffy sirius, cute relationship moments 🫶🏽

a/n: SEND ME REQUESTS I BEG<3

sirius knew that he came with trauma and baggage. his life was never easy and before you it was a disaster, you had put him back together, made sure he was eating, that he did his homework or that he made sure to hang out with people he loved.

you were never pushing sirius to do things he didn’t like to do like socializing when all he wanted was to stay in bed, but you were there.

every step of the way.

you stayed in with him when everyone got ready to go to hogsmead because his anxiety bubbled up to the point where he couldn’t breathe.

you stayed with him in the bathroom on the 3rd floor corridors when he got a howler from his mother in the middle of potions.

you visited him the same weekend he arrived at the potters because james sent you a letter about him running away.

you never judged him, it was what made you so comforting to him, he didn’t mean to fall in love with you but it happened.

you were always aware that sirius was one of the most desired people at hogwarts so your surprise when he had told you he liked you of all people had you stuttering in nervousness.

you two had shortly begun to date under the radar just after the start of your 6th year, his friends were the first to find out and slowly but surely people would place two and two together when one of you would show up, the other wouldn’t be far behind.

sirius was a clingy boyfriend, which made you all the more happier, you loved physical affection and whenever sirius couldn’t let go of you it only reassured you that he wanted you.

as you both lay in the marauders dorm, cuddled up in sirius’ bed you can feel his slow breathing on your chest as your play with his hair softly.

you can feel him start to grin and you’re confused before you try to lift his head up.

he slaps your hand teasingly and frowns up at you before laying back on your chest.

“sirius, what in merlin’s name are you doing” you ask confused whilst flicking his nose

“i was listening to your heartbeat dove” he smiles up at you and you can’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of love flow through you.

my boy you think to yourself, how lucky must you be to be blessed with this angel of a man.

“i love you sirius orion black” you mutter as you kiss his forehead

“i love you more darling” he smiles and snuggles back into your arms

#harry potter #james potter #marauders #remus lupin #juliwrites #sirius black #sirius black x reader #james & peter & remus & sirius #sirius black fluff

[heaven4lostgirls]

Can you pretty pleaaassse write for regulus black x reader angst

Where they were friends and got along really well and because they're both pureblooded there families arranged marriage for them. But then regulus gets paranoid and starts to think badly of you and thinks that you were only ever nice to him so that your parents would arrange marriage. And he thinks that you hold the same awful pureblood beliefs as both of your parents and he is afraid to say anything about it incase you tell his family that he doesn't really believe that muggles are lesser. Then regulus is quite distant and mean in your marriage and he eventually comes to his senses when he realises how upset you are and how much his distance hurts you and he can hear you crying yourself to sleep

pairing: regulus black x fem!reader

warning: angst, regulus is a bit of a dick but he comes around ! miscommunication (i’m sorry✊)

summary: request above

authors note: hi! sorry this took forever, i’m really bad at keeping up with requests but i hope you enjoy this, i always say im hoping to get back into writing but it’s always touch and go, my mental health isn’t great a lot of the time and uni just piles on so much more, hopefully you guys understand ! 🫶🩷

regulus wasn’t used to people sticking around, he had been abandoned by the only person he ever truly cared about and left to fend for himself. which was why he assumed when news of his engagement to you was announced by his parents, at a shared dinner party for the sacred 28, you two would simply…co-exist. never fully acknowledging the others presence yet acquaintances at best.

what a shock to his system it was when he grew to know what a wonderful person you were, never abrasive or hostile like his parents, never boastful like most of the pureblood families he knew, instead you were the embodiment of everything he never knew he wanted, a calm to the raging angst inside of him he couldn’t quell after sirius had left, and that alone left him scared more than any of his parents threats to present him to the dark lord as a servant.

you two had formed a quick friendship due to the circumstances surrounding your fast paced engagement, you were set to marry next august and your engagement had only been announced in april. regulus had no problem performing his duties to his family, however this one came with little to no reluctance from either of you as feelings of love and respect blossomed from the friendship you two shared.

however, as time passed, regulus could slowly but surely feel his walls he had fought so hard to build up, crack. he couldn’t fathom why someone like you would feel so comfortable around him, how you somehow managed to worm your way under his skin like no one ever could, not even sirius.

except as time flew by, he had somehow found some of that “gryffindor courage” as james potter always declared, to tell you about his feelings, emphasizing that if you wished, he would never bring up again if you did not reciprocate and you two would still move forward together into marriage as friends.

to his surprise, you were much more welcoming to his feelings than expected, you two had shared a small kiss as you leant your forehead against his and claimed “i was just waiting for you to see me.”

since you two were already a couple in the eyes of the public, the only people he had really had to tell was your shared friends. as expected, they all reacted joyfully to the news and you both carried through the rest of your year no longer pretending to be in love, but actually falling into it.

however, at the beginning of your 6th year, you could tell something had shifted between yours and regulus’ dynamic. no longer was he patient and comforting, instead he was judgmental and fast to anger. some part of you knew it had to do with his parents but you didn’t have the heart to push your questions onto him.

as time passed you watched as he distanced himself from you, pushing away your touches, rejecting your offers to hang out, blowing you off when he would eventually agree. you could only handle so much of his behavior before you eventually broke when telling your friends.

“i don’t know what to do anymore, it’s like walking on eggshells whenever he’s around because im scared of him snapping at me for breathing too loud” you vent to your friends as you place your hands on your eyes to try keep the tears at bay.

“how longs this been going on y/n?” pandora asks softly as she shares a concerned look with lily. you blubber out as answer that sounds like “a couple of months” as tears leak past your palms.

“i can’t keep doing this” you emphasize to them both, “and you know i can’t break up with him because we still have to get married-“

“break up?!” lily questions surprised, “you can’t be serious y/n.” she says as she places a hand on your shoulder.

“i think you need to talk to him” pandora says again as she smiles softly at you as you look at her with tear filled eyes.

“…what if he doesn’t want me anymore?” you whisper, too afraid to say it out loud in fear of it coming true.

“oh love” lily coos as she drags you into a small cuddle with her and pandora, “you’re gonna need to ask him to know that y/n” she whispers as she rubs your back.

you sigh heavily and nod before looking at the both of them. “okay” you concede as you try and form some sort of a plan to confront regulus, your anxiety spikes at the thought of him not wanting your relationship anymore, you couldn’t imagine a marriage with the man you loved where his feelings weren’t reciprocated.

the next day, you planned to corner regulus at the library before dinner but as you walked up to his table, you heard the voice of not only regulus, but barty as well.

“reg, you know you’re hurting her by ignoring her” barty says with a sigh as you pause behind a bookshelf near the table to eavesdrop.

“you know better than i, that i can never be with someone who thinks the way she does…its disgusting” regulus says with a sneer but you can hear how disappointed he is by the statement.

disgusting? he thinks i’m…disgusting? what is he even talking about? you don’t think you’ve ever done anything remotely bad enough to be called disgusting.

“how do you know she thinks like them?” barty implores and you hear regulus sigh, “you’ve seen how she acts when the sacred 28 talks about the muggles” he says and you frown, part of being a child of one of the sacred 28 meant you had to act your part, regulus knew that better than anyone else. so why was he suddenly judging you and telling barty about your issues when he couldn’t even give you the time of day?

“i don’t know if i can marry someone like her” regulus says again and your heart drops. someone like her, you repeat in your head, every insecurity you ever worked through, comes back in tenfold from that sentence alone. you stumble on your feet from the flashes of tears and heartache from all your deepest points of sorrow.

you shake your head and straighten your back before reminding yourself, if he wants a true pureblood wife, that’s what i’ll be. quiet, docile,…perfect.

your wedding approaches faster than you can imagine, dress fittings, bridal party dresses and events all pass with a blur. never fully there, you encompass a state of numbness.

regulus and all your friends notice how you slowly fall into the facade you usually have in front of your parents, instead this time, it never breaks in front of them.

regulus waits for you to come to him, to seek his comfort like you have so many times before, but it never comes.

he spends his nights worrying about you, questioning if it’s something he’s done, you’re still sweet and loving to him, just…more hollow than you were before.

you embody the perfect pureblood princess and he couldn’t hate it more, he hears from people around you how you’re not sleeping, always coming to class in a perfect face of makeup everyday when you usually only used skincare, in beautiful dresses for hogsmead days when you used to use comfortable clothes.

he tries to talk to you, to question why you’ve somehow flipped the switch out of nowhere, but they go unanswered.

the day of your wedding, he can see past the makeup, your sunken in eyes and red eyes. he still places a soft smile on his face as you stare passively into the distance, never making eye contact with him while saying your vows.

the distance between the both of you grows larger as he starts to believe that this was the life you truly wanted, a prince and princess, a couple born out of need not out of love, arranged perfectly to fit the narrative of pureblood royalty.

however, one night he falls asleep later than usual and hears you cry into your pillow, small pleas of being good enough for him as your body shakes with small sobs. he resists the urge to reach out to you in fear of you not recieving his touch well.

he lies awake as he hears you say, “i’m not like i was before, please let him love me now, oh merlin please” you whisper with clenched hands and eyes that leak tears. his heart breaks at the thought of you existing to please him.

he had seen how his mother had done the same for his father, how she turned cold and abusive with no comfort and love from her partner, how she pushed her self hatred onto her children. how that pushed her eldest son to run away.

he spends the next week racking his brain for what he could’ve done for you to think that way before he realises that the summer after his 5th year, his parents had implored him never to give you anything more than the bare minimum because nobody could be trusted. he remembers pulling away from you and pushing you away in fear of you using him for his fortune.

the idea that his parents had made him internalize that you would never love him just for him, you were moving into this marriage not because of your shared love but because of necessity. his heart drops out of his chest as he realizes all of this must have translated to you and that he now had a lot to make up for.

he plans out meticulously how to get his wife back and slowly but surely, he does. it starts with small things, a single flower that you had told him once you liked the smell of on your nightstand, a pair of earrings you remarked look beautiful when window shopping. a handwritten letter telling you goodmorning and his favorite things about you in your bag before class.

your initial confusion morphs to anger at the thought of changing yourself all for him to want you to go back to the self he called repulsive. you don’t respond to his initial attempts to woo you, but as weeks and months pass, he doesn’t give up.

he speaks to you, really speaks to you, asking you about your day, how he can help you when you’re not feeling well, what you need whenever he leaves the house, small compliments about your cooking or how the colour of your dress matches your eyes.

you two start sharing small good mornings and good nights when going to bed, which then translates to small hand holding or shared touches between each other. the ice around your heart slowly but surely starts melting whenever he’s around, you quickly become accustomed to his quick kisses on the cheek whenever he leaves the room or house.

he holds you at night as he whispers sweet promises of never letting you down again, grasping your face to look into your eyes whenever he compliments you to let you know how much you mean to him.

your heart is now warm and full at the thought of his presence, no longer a shell of yourself, slowly but surely healing with his sweet actions.

#juliwrites #marauders #regulus black #regulus black x reader #regulus black angst #regulus x reader #r.a.b #regulus black drabble #regulus black angst x reader #regulus black x fem!reader #regulus x reader angst #regulus angst #harry potter angst #marauders era #marauders era angst

[heaven4lostgirls]

“Please don’t cry, I’ve always hated it when you cry”

james potter x insecure!fem!reader

TW: angst, happy ending, hurt, insecure thoughts

You were a muggleborn witch at Hogwarts and had somehow made your way into cahoots with the marauders. Since you had first helped Remus Lupin with his Herbology homework you had been introduced to the band of misfits and had soon become one of the only girls who could say they were just friends with the marauders.

That however changed in the course of your third year when James Potter had somehow grown into his clothing and glasses. His hair had changed from its usual slicked back look to a messy bunch of curls. It seemed you weren’t the only one who noticed that James Potter had some who’s gotten hotter, every girl in your year had somehow developed a crush on the boy since getting back. Safe to say that Sirius Black found himself competing with his best mate over who was the better looking marauder.

You knew however that James had only ever had eyes for a red head Gryffindor which never bothered you before as you used to help him with his extravagant ways to ask Lily out. You knew even though he had somehow caught your eye he would still never see you as more than a best friend and you somehow had to live with that.

Your crush had carried on from third year all the way to seventh which broke your heart as you watched the boy you loved pine over a girl who had never given him the time of day. That was until miraculously Lily Evans agreed to go to Hogsmead with James Potter in their seventh year.

To say James was ecstatic was an understatement and you knew that although your heart was breaking you had to be supportive and cheer him on as he finally got the girl of his dreams. As you walked to the marauders dorm you had overheard Sirius talking to James. “Mate you know you can’t go on this date with Lily, you’d only be leading her on” Sirius’ voice was loud and somewhat frustrated which confused you. Wasn’t James in love with Lily?

“I know man, but we both know I can’t be with her.” James said slowly as if in disgust?. “What do you mean ‘her’?! You say it as if it’s some kind of crime to like her!” Sirius exclaims and you’re suddenly confused on who they could possibly be talking about. You move closer to the door and peek in to see James sitting on his bed and Sirius pacing the room with his hands raking through his dark hair.

“You know what I mean Sirius! You know that my parents would approve of Lily, she’s nice enough and I don’t want to think about what people would say if they knew I had a crush on Y/N!! You’ve seen how she looks man, i just can’t man ..” James rambles.

You gasp softly and that’s enough for Sirius to notice you standing behind the door. His eyes widen before they walk towards the door hastily whilst James looks at his retreating figure with confusion. Before Sirius can get to you, you’re running down the stairs and outside the Gryffindor common room before making your way to the black lake with tears streaming down your face

You feel to the ground grasping your chest as it felt like your heart was being torn from your chest. You knew that your feelings were unrequited but hearing James speak about you in that manner had hurt more than you expected. You weren’t ready to hear your own insecure thoughts come out of the mouth of someone you thought had your best interests at heart.

You sobbed until you couldn’t cry anymore and you simply wrapped your arms around yourself as you laid back against a tree as you slowly closed your eyes from exhaustion. Before you knew it you were woken up from a panicked voice in the distance sounding eerily similar to James Potter

“Y-Y/N! Merlin! We were so worried you hadn’t come for dinner and it turned to curfew and we couldn’t find you so I told pads and moony I was taking the map to try and find you!” Yep, that was James. You groaned groggily as you opened your eyes to see James crouched in front of you in a panicked state.

“Did i fall asleep? Shit! I was meant to help Frank with his transfiguration homework today-“ you were cut off by James hugging you tightly. You slowly wrapped your arms around him confused on why he was so panicked. “U-uh, James are you crying?” You questioned confused as you rubbed his back slowly as you felt wetness pool onto your shoulders.

His body all of a sudden wracked with sobs that broke your heart and you pulled him closer to hug him tighter. “Hey hey shh, please don’t cry Jamie..I’ve always hated it when you cried” you cooed softly as you wiped his tears and hugged him tightly.

He smiled through his tears as he picked you up. You gasped shocked and embarrassed that he was holding you up like nothing when he had told Sirius that he couldn’t walk around whilst people knew that he “liked you”. Considering you couldn’t even be sure if that was even the truth at this point.

“James put me down…please” you uttered softly and he looked at you confused and placed you down before looking at you in question. “What’s wrong? I was so worried that you were hurt with all that’s going on about the dark lord and his new death eater followers I was worried someone had gotten to you and i can’t bear to think about what I would have done if you were hurt-“ He was cut off by you slapping your hand over his mouth.

“You can stop pretending James, I heard you talking to Sirius about how you couldn’t stand the thought of people knowing if you liked me, it’s okay, we don’t need to act like we’re friends alright? I’ll leave you alone, just please stop acting like you care-“

“NO! No no no no! Listen Y/N you’ve got it all wrong please don’t walk away from me, I promise when I was talking to Sirius I meant that you were way out of my league and I knew that you deserved better than someone like me, i didn’t at all mean that you were anything less than perfect okay? Please believe me I can’t lose you..”

You had felt the tears streaming down your face long before James had finished his little speech. “What do you mean you like me? James you’ve been in love with Lily since first year..you don’t need to say you like me just because it seems like the kind thing to do, I promise I can get over this stupid crush I have just don’t lead me on-“ it was now your turn to be cut off by James’ slightly chapped lips and cold hands on your face.

You kissed him back fervently and moved your hands to wrap around his neck as he pulled away you tucked into yourself into his neck as you blushed. “If that didn’t let you know that I have been pining over lily to distract myself from you I don’t know what will. I promise I have never lied about liking you” he could feel your smile in the crook of his neck and he pulled you away from him he smiled “cmon let’s get back to the dorms, everyone has been looking for you” you smiled softly before nodding

As you both made your way back to the dorms you knew that James Potter had always had your heart and you his however you were both somewhat too blind to see it.

#james potter #sirius black #james potter x reader #marauders #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #harry potter #juliwrites

[heaven4lostgirls]

Poly!marauders meeting y/ns family? Its okay if you dont want to write this! I get it can be hard to write something you dont have inspo for!

beautiful boys

poly!marauders x reader

a/n: ty for the request i really enjoyed writing this!!

summary: marauders meeting your parents for the first time<3

tags: fluffff!!!

you, james, sirius and remus had been dating for a little over 3 months. you weren’t sure when the perfect time would come for you to introduce them to your parents but you knew that it had to happen at some point and apparently today was that day.

you all stood outside your parents home, as a halfblood, your parents were fairly well off however you knew that because they had to send you off to hogwarts so young that they had become a bit more protective.

now in your 6th year your parents were aware that you had found interest in people around you and never expressed any distain to who you should date. they were never against you dating someone that was a different blood purity than you or someone of the same gender.

as you all walked up to the gate of your parents house you felt sirius shift nervously next to remus who kept double checking if his clothes were okay. james seemed to be the only calm one out of the three but maybe that was because he’d already been introduced to your parents as one of your best friends.

you knocked on the door softly and softly squeezed sirius’ and remus’ hands in comfort. you’re mother opened the door to see four beaming faces, albeit two of them looked a bit more nervous than the others.

“y/n! come in! i’ve missed you honey!” you mother cooes at you as she pulls you into a hug and ushering you and your boyfriends inside.

“i missed you too mum, where’s dad?” you smile as you wrap your arm around remus’ waist.

“he’s in his study, he’ll be down in a minute. last minute ministry cases and whatnot” she smiles before she turns to the four of you.

“and? who might be these lovely gentlemen? when you said you were bringing people home i didnt expect this!”

“well actually mum, these are my boyfriends. james, sirius and remus. you’ve met james before at kings cross station remember?”

“oh yes! what a delight, it’s wonderful to see you sweetheart” your mother hugs them all and you can see the relief that flood from remus and sirius’ shoulders.

“you boys must be famished, come let’s do the kitchen and we can chat a bit before your father comes down”

you all make your way to the kitchen and sit around the island, your mother pours you all some water as she asks some questions.

they all answer very willingly with little hesitance and you can see the admiration they hold for your mother as she dotes on all of you as if they’re her own children.

the heavy footsteps of your father interrupts the conversation between sirius and your mum.

“y/n! i’ve missed you sweetheart” your father stated before wrapping you in a big hug, almost squeezing the life out of you before he lets go and looks curiously at the boys behind you.

he cocks an eyebrow which makes james gulp and remus fidget nervously before his face breaks out into a big smile.

“nice to meet you boys, i’ve heard that you’ve been helping my y/n around school” a chorus of ‘yes sirs’ is heard throughout the kitchen before you introduce them.

“dad, these are my boyfriends. you know james, and that’s sirius and the one next to him is remus” they all lift their hands up accordingly to wave at your old man.

“ah i see, well since we’ve already met why don’t we dig in to my wife’s delicious cooking” he laughs and pats sirius and remus on the back.

you usher them to the table where your dad and mom sit at the heads and you and james sit next to each other. across from you is remus and across from james is sirius.

you all eat happily and make small talk and you can almost feel the love and warmth in the air, your parents never once mentioned the scars on remus’ face or questioned why sirius lived with james and that he seemed to hesitate talking about his family.

all in all they all seemed so at peace with one another you couldn’t ask for anything more, your dad looks at you whilst everyone else talks and winks at you.

you know you’ve found a family in these boys and as have they in you.

#juliwrites #harry potter #marauders #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #james potter x reader #remus lupin x reader #sirius black x reader #marauders angst #poly!marauders #poly!marauders x reader #poly!marauders x girlfriend!reader

[heaven4lostgirls]

Never Enough (S.R)

pairing: steve rogers x reader

warning: angst, allusion to breakup, Steve chooses Sharon over reader.

summary: Steve leaves you, thinking you’ll wait for him.

word count: 1.3k

a/n: I’ll be honest, this isn’t my best work, but I thought why not get something out because I’m pretty sure the next chapter of mr americana and the heartbreak prince will be a little delayed cus I have so much work to do but I hope this tides you over until them lmao.

part 1, part 2, part 3

“Steve, I swear to god if you walk out that door, we’re done” you say as tears run down your face. It’s radio silent in the Avenger’s compound as Steve stands in front of you about to leave because Sharon had called him because of an ‘emergency.’ After she had found out that you were Steve’s girlfriend, she found ways to come in-between the both of you and somehow, she was succeeding. This was your third fight about Steve just leaving out of nowhere when she called for him, you don’t know how much of this you had in you.

“Don’t be dramatic y/n” he rolls his eyes, “we’ve been over this, she’s just a friend” he says, and you cross your arms over your chest. “Steve, how many times do I need to tell you that she is not just a friend to you? A month ago, she wanted to get into your pants” you raise your voice and Steve’s expression only grows more annoyed, “She doesn’t want me like that anymore!” he says, your expression grows even more annoyed. “If you step a foot out of that door Steve, I won’t be here when you get back” you threaten him and watch as he hesitates before he says,

“She needs me y/n” he pleads with you and tears if frustration line your eyes at his words. “What about me?!” you cry out at him incredulously, “she! Is not your girlfriend Steve! I am!” you throw your hands in the air as tears run down your face in silence and watch as Steve’s irritated demeanour breaks “I’m going y/n, we can talk about this when I get back” he says and slides a hand down his face in exasperation. “Steven Grant Rogers, don’t you dare” you threaten as he again walks to the door. “I’m sorry y/n, I’ll be back” he rushes to the door as he feels his phone buzz again.

As soon as the door to your shared room closes. You’re sliding down the wall as you sob uncontrollably, why was it so easy for him to pick her? Why did he pick her? Why were you never enough?

The rest of the Avengers stand outside your door, hearing your heartbreaking sobs is enough for tony to get Friday to unlock your door before he crouches down next to you, letting you wrap your arms around him and sob into his shirt. “Why wasn’t I enough?” you cry and Tony’s eyes mist over at your heartbroken whisper, he shakes his head as he rubs your back “you are perfect” he whispers as he kisses your forehead. Tony had always been like a father figure to you since you had joined the Avengers, a little older than Peter, he had taken you both under his wing and taught you everything you needed to know.

As much as it hurt all the Avengers to see you so broken, it hurt Tony that much more that this was the one source of pain he couldn’t protect you from. As your anguished sobbing turned into small sniffles, Tony lifts your head and wipes your nose with his sleeve, “eugh” he makes a face and smiles at the small laugh you produce.

You loom around the room to see Peter, Bucky, Sam, Natasha, Bruce, and Wanda all standing or sitting in different parts of the room, watching you with sad gazes, you know they’ve probably already heard the entire fight and you find yourself collecting yourself before you stand up with the help of Tony to look at all of them, “I cant stay here” you admit to them. Their faces fall as they realise that this isn’t your usual fight with Steve and by him choosing to check on Sharon instead of staying with you, he’s lost his place in your life.

Some nod solemnly and other eyes mist over yet they all share an overall agreement knowing that they are willing to do whatever they need to help you heal. It’s surprisingly Tony who voices what everyone else is thinking, “do you not want to wait to hear what he has to say?” he asks softly as you lean on his chest. You shake your head as tears begin to fill your eyes again. “I asked- “your voice breaks, “I begged him to stay” you tell them and watch as sympathy floods their faces.

Wanda and Natasha are the first one’s moving in order to get you out of there, they give everyone tasks so that you have some breathing room, Tony is organizing a safe house out of state while Sam and Bucky are working on getting a plane and pilot to fly you to it. Peter is making food and trying to stock up the house with groceries for the near future and Nat is overseeing his orders to make sure he doesn’t put just junk food on it.

Whist everything around you is moving faster than you can imagine for you to be out of the compound before Steve gets back, which according to Bucky is in the next hour, You and Wanda spend time packing your clothes and essentials you’ll need to have. The quiet in the room is comforting even though you can feel the anxiety slowly overcoming you at the idea of finally leaving Steve.

Wanda breaks the silence as she bombards you with a hug, “I could feel your pain, I thought this might help” and it does, Wanda has an aura around her that is so comforting for everyone around her. You both continue packing before you’re interrupted by Bucky knocking on your open door, he smiles sadly, “we’re ready for you” he says and you nod, picking up the two duffel bags lying on the floor, leaving a piece of paper on the bed before you walk out to the quinjet.

Bucky stops you before getting on the plane, as he grasps your arm, he pulls you into a hug and you know this is his way for apologizing for Steve’s behaviour. “it’s not your fault Buck” you whisper, and you feel him nod into the hug, you were both friends through Steve and you knew just how scared he must be in fear of losing you because of what his friend had done.

Peter is next and you can’t help but laugh through your tears as you see him with tears running down his pouting face, he looks like a puppy. “c’mon parker pull it together’ you roll your eyes and pull him into a hug as he sobs, “you do know I’m coming back, right?” you whisper as his sobs stop and he nods and you both giggle together. “we’re ready for take-off” you hear the pilot through the megaphone, and you release peter to walk onto the plane.

As soon as the door opens for you, you hear your voice being called desperately. “Y/N!!” you hear, and everyone turns around to meet Steve’s broken expression. “NO! Please just hear me out!!” he’s screaming through his tears however Bucky holds him back. “No! Stop the plane please! I need to talk to her” he yells and tries to fight off Bucky to get to you, but you ignore him and wipe your cheeks and make you way onto the plane, “NO! Please y/n stop! I’ll be better baby! Just get off the plane please!” his screams are drowned out as you make your way to the couches on the plane and sob.

“Y/N! Please! Let me talk to her! Please someone! Let me talk to her!” his voice becomes hoarse from all the yelling as he watches the plane take off, he doesn’t stop struggling in Bucky’s hold until the plane disappears. “I’m sorry, God I’m so sorry” he cries into his hands before he collapses, crushing your handwritten letter in one hand as he sobs. Bucky lets everyone leave as he sits with Steve on the ground, watching his best friend fall apart on the dark asphalt.

#juliwrites #mcu #steve rogers #steve rodgers x reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers angst #captain america #steven grant rogers #captain america x reader #captain america x you #captain america x female reader #captain america angst

[heaven4lostgirls]

hope (S.R)

pairing: steve rogers x reader

warning: angst, a little bit of comfort.

summary: the aftermath of reader leaving steve gives him clarity and has them both realizing that he needs to work harder to gain his girl back.

word count: 1.6k

a/n: I am so sorry this took so long to come out, I’ve been swamped with uni work but I’m so happy you guys liked part 1, I will probably post a part 3 to this, which other characters do you ship reader with??? Steve is looking at some competition soon!

part 1 , part 2, part 3

tags: @nouk1998, @spngingerbread21, @blackhawkfanatic, @immyowndefender (if I wasn't able to tag you that means your tags don't work!)

Steve,

If you’re reading this, then you have realised I’m not staying in the tower anymore. Tony helped set me up in safe house for the next few weeks, I can’t stay here. You chose Sharon over me Steve and you must know that I can’t stay with someone who would choose another woman over me.

I need you to know that although it’s been hard for me to accept it, I understand. It’s not okay that you chose to leave without talking to me, but I understand if she is who you want okay? I am so grateful to have spent the last 3 years by your side, but I can no longer watch on from the sidelines as you look at her like how you used to look at me.

When I come back, hopefully I’ll be ready to talk, but I am asking you that if you ever held any form of love and respect for me, to give me this time to heal.

Thank you, Steve, for everything,

y/n.

Steve crumples your handwritten letter in his hand, the paper squashed in the palm of his hands as he throws back the bourbon in his glass. His eyes are red rimmed and his face unshaven. He has been a mess since you left a week ago, unable to move from his room, and spending his time rereading your letter hoping that he could find some small sign that you still loved him, still wanted him.

He was unaccustomed to this feeling of pain, when he got out of the ice, he assumed the pain of knowing that he had missed his time with Peggy was truly the worst form of torture but the agony of once having your love and affection and having it so brutally stripped from him, may just be at the top of his list.

He sighs as he uncrumples the paper to place it on his desk as he moves to lay back in his bed, he had been part of a repetitive cycle for the last week, working purely on survival mode before he’s interrupted by a soft knock on his door.

He knows better than to feel excited at the small hope of it being you however he knows that it’s Bucky and Sam checking up on him and bringing him food before they annoy him into getting into the shower. He can’t stand the look of pity in their eyes as they hand him his food, so he slams the door shut as soon as he gets it, placing it on his desk, he moves to the bathroom.

He turns the shower head all the way to cold, hoping it will bring some shock into his system, however because of his super soldier abilities, his immune system is fried and numb to the coldness of the water.

His eyes burn as tears roll down his face, sobs wrack his body as he pounds his fist into the wall in front of me which breaks at the force of his strength. He hears the door quietly open before he feels Bucky’s metal arm tugging him from under the water into a towel.

This has happened nearly everyday for the last 3 days, sometime on the first day, Steve had stopped acting like you abrupt leaving hadn’t affected him and broke down during his training session, to which Bucky had been helping him through his depressed state however all he ever really wanted was you.

“I want her back” Steve sobs into Bucky’s clothed shoulder as he feels his friend cooing and soothing him like a baby before he is gently placed on his bed. His body shakes with his painful sobbing as he feels Bucky rubbing his back. “I know Stevie, I know” Bucky sighs as he tucks Steve in after he exhausts himself from crying.

Meanwhile you haven’t been doing any better, your mental health slowly deteriorating at the acceptance of the end of your relationship with Steve. You had known somewhere deep down that throughout the past month whenever you had caught Steve looking at Sharon that this was the beginning of the end.

However now it was time for you to face the reality of the situation, you may have spent the last week crying your eyes out at sad romance films with ice-cream and chocolate  but you knew that enough was enough, you needed to talk with Steve and hear what he had wanted to say the day you left.

Running from your problems was not the best solution however you knew realistically you did not have the mental capacity to hear whatever Steve had to say and that it would only end up doing more harm than good considering how high strung you both were about the whole situation.

Now, as you step off the quinjet, you are greeted with Bucky’s genuine yet sorrowful smile. “Hi Buck” you greeted softly as you stood awkwardly, worrying if you could still hug him even though you knew he probably spent the last week comforting your ex-boyfriend. Not than you could blame him, they had been friends for far longer than the both of you.

Bucky just rolled his eyes before his smile widened as he pulled you into a tight hug, you breathed a sigh of relief and slumped into your friend. Your moment was interrupted by a loud voice chiming in from behind the both of you.

“Y/N!!!!” you and Bucky both separate, you with a look of amusement and Bucky with a look of annoyance. Peter’s joyful gaze found yours as he sprinted towards you. “I knew when you didn’t respond to the meme I sent you this morning, something was up!” he said excitedly as he spins you in a hug as a laugh bubbles out of you.

“Hey kid, yeah I was on a flight back from South Africa” you smile and separate from him before you see his joyful gaze darken at something behind you.

“Y/N.” you hear softly from behind you, and you freeze.

You turn around and place a polite smile on your face, not quite ready for the conversation ahead.

“Steve” you say and nod at him, he moves as though he’s going to hug you but thinks again and moves back and you’re somewhat grateful, you don’t think you’d be able to compose yourself.

You all stand in awkward silence for a bit before you break it, “I should uh” you gesture inside and he nods before he opens his mouth, “Can I help with your bags?” he asks nervously.

You were hoping to have a few minutes to compose yourself, but Steve is probably right to get the conversation out of the way.

As you both walk through the tower, you realise how quiet it is and make note to thank everyone for steering clear of the both of you.

As you both reached your old room since you had been sharing with Steve, you place you bag down before you turn to Steve who is standing sadly outside your room. “You can come in” you tease him and that snaps him out of his mood as he moves to sit at the desk in front of your bed and you sit on your bed.

“So” you both start before you motion to Steve to carry on.

“I love you y/n, I don’t want this to be the end, can we please work on this? I promise I’ll do better, and I won’t choose Sharon over you ever again.” He rushes out in what you assume is an attempt to stop the inevitable.

You smile at him in pity and before you can start talking you see him shaking his head as tears fill his eyes. “Steve, if you really wanted me as bad as you say you do, where was all this attention and affection this last month? Why did it take me leaving for you to realise how badly you fucked up?” you question and watch as he breaks in front of you.

The last week must have been hell for him, the same way the last month was for you.

“Please just let me try y/n, let me try please” he pleads as he moves from sitting in the small chair to kneeling before you as he grasps your hands.

You move your hands to grasp his face as you wipe his tears.

“Love, I will always love you but you need to realise how hard it was for me to sit here on standby every time you left me for Sharon, I need to choose myself for once” you confess and Steve sobs into your legs as you thread your hands through his hair as you try and calm him down.

You watch as Steve tries to compose himself in front of you before he looks into your eyes in determination. “I’m going to prove it to you” he says seriously, and you nod to placate him before he shakes his head in protest. “No, you don’t understand, I am going to prove to you how much you mean to me y/n” he says and some part of you is hopeful he tries as hard as he says he’s going to be this time.

“I’m not going to sit around and wait for you to make it up to me Steve, you’re going to have to work for it” you say, and he deflates but nonetheless nods in understanding, realistically he acknowledges that he deserved worse treatment. He just can’t stand the idea of you finding love and connection with someone that isn’t him.

#juliwrites #steve rogers angst #steve rogers imagine #steve rodgers x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #captain america #steve rogers x reader angst #steve rogers hurt #steve rogers hurt/comfort #steve rodgers imagine #mcu #marvel #marvel movies #bucky barnes #peter parker

[heaven4lostgirls]

a slice of heaven

artist!james potter x fem!reader

tags: fluff, friends to lovers, james being cute<3

summary: james drawing on you<3

james had always been an artist, he had developed his skill through school as he spent most of his classes doodling in his notebooks rather than listening to slughorn drone on and on about whatever potion they were learning.

when he met you, you had noticed his little doodles taking place in his notebook rather than his notes so all you did was slightly slide your hand over and tap the pen motioning it was okay for him to draw on you.

slowly but surely you would leave your classes with little snitches and dragons drawn on you, sometimes they were related to what the teacher was talking about, other times he just drew what came to mind.

it had become a habit for you to lean your hand out whenever james would sit next to you and when you didn’t he would grab your hand from your side of the table and drag it to his.

you had figured out that although it seemed like he wasn’t paying attention, his drawings told you differently, it helped him focus. his brain couldn’t keep up with the noise so drawing had helped him centre himself.

you weren’t a shy person but you didn’t have it in you to bring up to james the little situation you both had going on, however it seemed you didn’t have to as james waved you over to sit next to him and his friends.

the famous marauders, you had seen them walking around school however you had never directly spoken to any of them for more than five minutes and that alone would mostly be about group projects or classes you were both in.

“y/n! how are you? i wanted to know if you wanted to sit with me and my friends?” james asked shyly as he smiled up at you, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“yeah, sure! hi i’m y/n, i share potions with you guys” she smiles at them and remus smiles back kindly as sirius smirks, seemingly coming to a realization.

“say you wouldn’t be the one who lets prongs’ draw on your hand would you?” he asks slyly

james blushes and you nod somewhat confused on how he’s realized, i mean the idea isn’t entirely perplexing as you would walk around hogwarts with little drawings on your hands but you didn’t think you had made it that obvious.

“that’s me, that’s a bit stalkerish that you know that sirius” he gasps as if he’s somewhat offended by your words as remus snorts a laugh.

“i just wanted to know who the girl is that james always goes on abou-“

“RIGHT! that’s enough out of you mate” james quickly states as he flushes and pulls you away from the group.

“sorry about them, they’re not usually that annoying” he sighs.

“it’s alright, they seem really nice” you smile and you see his eyes drop to your hands which are still interlocked. you try to pull away out of embarrassment however you holds them tighter before his eyes widen.

“holy shit, is that a tattoo?” he questions and you’re suddenly confused before you smile to yourself.

“yeah, it’s-“

“the deer i drew on your hand” he says shocked.

“yeah it was really cute so charmed it to stay there” you smile as he rubs his finger over your ‘tattoo’.

“that’s sick, i didn’t think that you’d like it that much”

“it reminded me of my patronus and i thought it was cute-“

“wait what?”

“i thought it was cute?”

“no the part about your patronus-“

“oh yeah! it’s a doe! it’s kind of odd but i really like it”

james is shocked. his hands still and you think you’ve said something wrong before he looks at you.

“mines a deer”

you smile to yourself again.

“coincidence hm?”

“yeah, definitely…do you wanna maybe, i don’t know go to hogsmead later? i mean you don’t have to if you don’t want to but i would like to take you out-“

“JAMES! relax, i would love to”

“really?”

“yes really, idiot.”

“now that was uncalled for”

#james potter x reader #james potter #marauders #juliwrites #harry potter #sirius black #remus lupin #james potter fluff

[heaven4lostgirls]

Serene living

pairing: Barty crouch jr x gn!reader

word count: 1.2k summary: Barty Crouch Jr loves his girlfriend, Y/N Y/L/N loves their boyfriend and after a little conversation Barty gets a little jealous.

a/n: this wasn't requested but I miss writing so this just came to mind as I was listening to music

Barty usually spent the better part of his day slacking off, he would convince Evan to spend their time pranking the first years around them whilst you, Regulus and Pandora spent your time near the black lake talking and reading in peaceful serenity. This was often interrupted by your significant others raucous laughter and him and Evans thudding footsteps. You meet Regulus’ bored expression and Pandora’s dreamlike giggle, and you roll your eyes playfully as your feel Barty fall down next to you and throw his arm around you.

You shove him playfully and whine as he pulls the book you planned on reading out of your hands. “I’m trying to read Barty” your groan only fuels his playful expression as he stands up and starts reading your passage out loud in a dramatic fashion. “His eyes darkened at her lustful gaze- woah what the fuck is this” he cried as he skipped through the pages trying to read your obviously very…fruitful choice of novel.

Your cheeks warm as Regulus quirks a brow over his own copy of what you know to be a well known queer romance with some very descriptive passages. You whine and make your way to stand as Barty continues to parade your novel around the tree you all had been leant against. Barty starts a small jog around everyone in hopes of you not catching up to him and your annoyance turns fond at his sparkling eyes and melodramatic tone as he continues to retell the characters sexual endeavours.

“Wait, how the bloody hell did they get into that position? Love, your book is very confusing” he complains as Evan snorts into his hand at Barty’s inability to understand. You manage to grab the novel from his hand and scowl at him, his playful gaze meets yours and when he sees your little scowl, he makes it his mission to make you laugh instead. He begins to quickly pepper kisses all over your face in hopes of hearing your laughter and he is once again successful in his plan as your melodic giggles fill the air. You can feel the smile on his face as he places small kisses on your neck.

“You two are so cute” Pandora’s sweet voice pulls you both out of your moment as you smile over Barty’s shoulder. “Vomit inducing more like” you hear Dorcas say as she places her school bags on the grass as she lays down. “Thanks Dora, why so salty Cas? Marlene ignores you in class or something” Barty teases and Dorcas throws up her middle finger as she covers her eyes from the bright sun. You laugh as you pull Barty down to sit next to Regulus as you make your way in between in his legs and lean back into him.

“I’ll have you know I had double potions with Slughorn before this break” you all simultaneously wince or negatively react at her statement, Slughorn’s lectures could go on for ages and all of you were accustomed to the few students who had fortunately fallen asleep and not been caught. You sigh happily and snuggle into Barty’s soft wool jumper as you hear Pandora talking to Evan and Doracs about the new crystals she had found in the woods while looking for Wrackspurts.

 You hear Barty hum as his hands play with your fingers before he leans down closer to your ears in order to mumble a question to you “You want to take a nap in the dorm love?” and you mindlessly hum as you think about it, shaking your head you look up at him. “No, I quite like it here, are you tired?” you question him softly and he shakes his head softly as he pecks your forehead. You both tune into the current conversation that’s being had, something about James Potters good looks coming from Regulus and Evans disagreement, he’s more into Sirius to Regulus’ disgust whilst Dorcas thinks Remus is the more attractive Marauder whilst Pandora shyly expresses, she prefers Peter.

They all turn to the both of you with deadly serious expressions that you’re almost scared to find out what they’re about to ask you. “Who’s the most attractive out of the Marauders?” Its Evan that poses the question to which you scrunch your face in an animated thinking expression. Barty answers with zero hesitance “Remus.” He says confidently and you raise your brow at him “You’ve thought about this” you accuse him, and he shrugs with a shit-eating grin on his face. “What? Am I not allowed to recognise the beauty that is Remus bloody Lupin?” he defends, and you shake your head at him.

“James.” You shrug and Regulus meets your eyes with a smirk full well knowing that you both had this conversation before you and Barty had started dating after a couple drinks at a Slytherin party. Barty’s hands tighten around you, and you look up to see his face in a scowl. “What? Can’t handle Y/N having other peoples attention?” Regulus smirks at him in teasing and Barty huffs petulantly. “Why’d you say that” he whines as he pouts down at you. Your laughter makes his scowl deepen further. “So, it’s okay for you to admire Remus’ beauty but I can’t say I find James Potter fit?” you laugh at his pettiness, and he rolls his eyes. “That! Was very different” he points out and you cackle harder.

“Calm down Bartemius, nobody is stealing from your psycho ass.” Evan snorts and you start wheezing as Barty puffs his chest out in what you assume is supposed to be pride “damn right.” He says as he pulls you closer to him. You both often were never found far from one another, Barty was always someone who showed his affection through touch and normally whenever you were in his vicinity he often found his body seeking you out, always having an arm around your waist or your hands interlocked as you both took notes in class.

As you calm down from your laughing fit and the conversation shifts onto something else you see the Marauders make their way towards the black lake as well and without thinking you lift your hand and shout across the grounds. “Alright Potter?” you grin and as he turns around to look for you he smiles and waves at you “Yeah and you?” you laugh loudly as you basically feel Barty’s heated glare “Alright thanks” he nods and makes his way to where Sirius, Remus and Peter are waiting for him. Once he turns back around the group bursts into laughter as Barty scowls at all of you.

#juliwrites #harry potter #barty crouch jr x reader #barty crouch junior #barty crouch jr #barty jr #barty crouch jr fluff #barty crouch jr angst #barty crouch jr blurb #barty crouch jr drabble #barty crouch jr imagine

[heaven4lostgirls]

You’re my happy place

husband!elijah mikaelson x wife!fem!reader

tags: fluff, happy ending, soft!elijah

a/n: if u guys even read this pls pls pls send me requests for fics u want me to write!! ok enjoy<3

You had spent the entire day at the compound waiting for Elijah and Nik to get back. They had gone on some stupid witch hunt again because Nik believed that the witches were plotting against him as usual.

You sat on the floor of the compound playing with baby hope when you hear the hurried footsteps of the two brothers and the stench of blood nearly made you vomit on the spot.

You hurriedly put Hope back in her cot before running to see if anyone was hurt. Nik looked like he had just committed mass murder but by the look in his eyes you knew better than to ask him what had happened. All you did was beckon hun closer and take a look to see if any of his injuries were major, thankfully he just looked like he had a bruised ego.

To the left of his Elijah stood in a ski liar state however he seemed to be clutching his side. You knew whenever Nik would put himself in dangerous situations your idiot of a husband would not be far behind, always looking out for his little brother.

You made your way to him slowly whilst looking over him to see if anywhere else seemed to be causing him pain, once it looked like his side was the only place he seemed to be clutching you sighed in relief.

As you reached him you carefully placed your hands on his face, he seemed to be avoiding your eyes and you somehow knew exactly why.

“Is that blood Eli?” You questioned harshly, you knew that when you both moved to New Orleans that the witch community wasn’t exactly fond of the Mikaelson family however the lacerations on Elijahs side didn’t seem to be healing and this has been an all time low for them, never had the witches hurt them so badly they couldn’t heal it. You were on relatively good terms with all of the witches however seeing your husband in this state all you could hear was your heart pounding and your blood boiling.

Elijah looks almost embarrassed as he utters a small “No?” You sigh and shake your head with a small smile, your husband would always be the one trying to make you laugh even if he did seem like he was bleeding out.

“That isn’t normally a question you answer with another question darling” all he does is smile back innocently.

“Cmon let’s get you cleaned up” you motion for him to sit on the couch as Hayley ends up attending to Nik as he grumbled about the ‘stupid witches’. You just sigh and look at Elijah pointedly

“You can’t keep running head first into ever fight that Nik picks so you can save him, it’s not safe” you tell him as you brush his hair out of his face to clean the small scratches surrounding his eyes.

“I know my love, he’s my brother, I simply can’t let him get himself in trouble, I made a vow to my mother to always protect him and it is what I plan to do as long as I’m alive, alongside you of course” you can’t help but smile at his loyalty to his family, you know it hasn’t been easy for him and Nik to gain back their mutual trust of one another especially after decades of daggers and heartbreak however for the most part they seem to have moved past all of that.

“I love you Eli, I can’t stand to see you hurt” He can feel your worry and although he and you both know he will continue to put himself in harms way to save Nik he hugs you and mumbles affirmations that he will try harder and be safer when he travels with Nik. You can’t ask for much more and you know that so as you both make your way to Freya’s room so that she can heal Eli’s wounds you squeeze his hand as a reminder he’s okay and Freya will most likely know how to heal him.

After the quick visit of Freya healing his wounds and researching about the kind of magic used by the witches that was somehow strong enough to hurt an original you both lay in you shared room.

“Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we were never turned?” You turn to him in confusion, you had been one of the first vampires that Elijah had turned after his mother had used to spell however even after decades of being together you always thought that you were both content with how life was. “Sometimes, but I am quite happy with how we are right now…Are you not?” You admit and question almost insecurely.

As if Elijah has read your thoughts he backtracks “No no no, my love I just meant that I would have wished for us to have a family of our own, little children for us to take care of and I am sorry that I can’t give that to you” you feel tears welling up at the thought of what your life could have been. You grasp Elijah’s face in your hands and assure him that you are perfectly happy with how things have played out.

“Even if you hadn’t turned me with you Elijah I would have been heartbroken to see you outlive me, you have been my rock and compass our entire lives, seeing you daggered by Niklaus only ever brought great heartache to me, so please don’t think for a moment that this life has not been more than enough, I will always choose you over and over again my love” You can feel his smile as you rest your head on his chest.

“Do you remember the 20’s? Where we had gone to that jazz club with Niklaus? We had just changed our names and anytime someone spoke to us we would make up elaborate stories of where we came from, we spent the entire night dancing and once we got home you told me that you loved me and that you wish we could have had that life-“

“You proposed to me that night and promised you would show me the world”

“I plan to keep that promise everyday we have each other”

“I love you Elijah Mikaelson”

“I love you more Y/N Y/L/N”

#elijah mikaelson x reader #elijah x reader #elijah mikaelson #niklaus mikaelson #the orginals #juliwrites