#i convince myself it’s probably not REALLY that good

[wolfofcelestia]

Had a daydream about Astra deciding to fuck with Zayne and allowing Dawnbreaker and the doctor to switch bodies for a day. DB Zayne would wake up to mc whispering good morning to him and kissing behind his ear and he'd probably think it was one of his painful and pesky dreams before he realizes that the bed he's in is so much more luxurious than his own, opens his eyes and starts taking in his surroundings in dr Zayne's apartment. He'd probably want to spend the whole day holding her and making love to her until she finally convinces him to go out, where he'd be blown away by the thriving Linkon city he's read so much about. Our poor doctor Zayne waking up in the squalor that is Dawnbreaker's apartment and immediately sent into despair, not knowing if he'll ever get to return to his life with mc. And when the day is done and they switch back...the agony Dawnbreaker would be in would be heart-wrenching, and the relief the doctor would feel..ugh why do I do this to myself lol. optional side plot mc becomes pregnant, and doctor Zayne can never be sure if he fathered the child, or if it was Dawnbreaker Zayne in his absence.. paternity test would come back the same either way, I'd assume

Anon out here being more brutal than me about Dawnbreaker lmao

I wonder how Zayne would feel about the kid knowing it was DB’s though. Because MC would definitely know if it wasn’t him she was sleeping with

DB may have been in Zayne’s body but the ways they love MC, both emotionally and physically, are completely different. It would definitely feel like sleeping with a whole different person

And MC just went along with that like it was no big deal sleeping with another man? Does she have feelings for him? Strong enough to betray Zayne? Is it even a betrayal? It’s him but it isn’t

If she loves Zayne, wouldn’t she love Dawnbreaker too? They are two sides of the same coin, after all. And Dawnbreaker is a living embodiment of all of Zayne’s fears, insecurities, and weaknesses. So if MC can love all of Zayne’s weaknesses in the form of Dawnbreaker, doesn’t that mean she really loves Zayne?

I think he’d love the child as his own, because on paper, it is. But he’ll always have these questions in his mind

If another Zayne were to just appear out of nowhere, would she just as easily fall in love with him? Would she love the other versions of him more? Would she leave him for another version of him?

Every time he has to cancel their date to attend to an emergency, there will always be a thought gnawing at the back of his mind:

“If there was a version of me who could give her the love she needs and deserves, she would be better off with him.”

#love and deepspace #zayne love and deepspace #dawnbreaker #scenarios #headcanons #asks

[addicted2skinny]

How can I hide my ed from my therapist so she doesn’t take away my concerta

hi hi <33 thanks for trusting me with this issue, I'll do my best to help you out! Please note tho, that all advice I'm giving is just personal experience and what I would do. I don't know your specific circumstances so it might not be fully accurate or something like wise.

TW: ED & hiding it below the cut! DNI if you want to go/are in recovery and fully WANT to recover. (Note: I AM pro recovery, I'm just not ready for it and this person also doesn't seem ready either)

— First, I'd definitely suggest that you're positive about food and calories. At least try to. When they ask you how you've been, how your relationship with food & your body is going you need to make them believe that everything's alright. Try to talk openly about your favourite foods and choose foods that are high caloric/normal to eat on a daily basis (so don't choose rice cakes or diet coke as those are often associated with eds)

—If your therapist offers you food, take it AND EAT IT. Don't try to spit it out, vomit when you're still in the clinic/house of your therapist or decline it. I know it's painful and you'll probably hate yourself for doing so but trust me, it's better than getting into a psychiatric ward bc of your ed.

—Act better around your friends&family as well, try to go out and eat with them. Take pictures of the food (important!) and show them happily to your therapist. You can always burn the cals later on in the day or fast for the following days after the meal with your friends& family.

—If you have to, gain a little weight. I know it sucks to reset your progress, but I myself gained five kg purposely in recovery, mainly so the therapist is convinced I'm healthy and lets me go.

—You need to start acting like you're Scarlett Johansson, Emma Watson, Leonardo DiCaprio or whoever, act ALL THE TIME. It can't be too obvious like you've suddenly changed 180° in your sleep, but if you radiate a positive attitude about food and your body, if you talk greatly about your physical&mental health it'll be much more believable. If you have to, try to change your appearance a bit as well, for me make-up worked wonders as I always looked (and still often do) pale, tired and sleep deprived whilst starving.

—Take good care of yourself nonetheless! Even if you refuse to eat when you're not with your family/therapist, having a good skin care and hair care routine really changes a lot.

—Try not to overdo it too much, as they might catch onto your lies. Start with slow changes in your mood or talks about what you've eaten and then slowly improve to greater changes of the course of several weeks. It has to be as believable as possible for your therapists and supervisors that you've chosen life now and how happy you are once you'd reach a healthy relationship with food again.

—If you struggle with putting up the act or if you're a bad liar, try staying away from ed media like tumblr, twitter, telegram and any ed triggering shows. Just because you'll abandon your account for a bit doesn't mean you'll never come back to it.

I hope that I could help you or anyone else at least a little bit. Keep in mind again that this is just based on my personal preferences and experience, so it might or might not work for you. Please take care of yourself, I believe in you!🫶

If anyone else has any advice/suggestions, feel free to comment/reblog! <33

#tw ed but not sheeran #4n4tips #4n4t1ps #tw 3d vent #ask #i wanna be tiny #i wanna lose weight #i want to lose weight #i will reach my ugw #i need to lose this weight #4norexla #ed relapse #anor3c1a #anorexies #ana problems #ed rant #ed dieta #ed tmblr #tw ed sheeran #eating disoder trigger warning #tw eating issues #disordered eating mention #disordered eating cw #tw disordered thoughts #4n4rexia #4n4blr #4n4m1a #4nor3xia #4n0rexic #🕯️as a feather

[starbuck]

me, listening to That Black Ice Cream Song: this song is just so good. what a vibe.

john darnielle: it was August the 19th

me: SO FUCKING TRUE

#sorry for only coming on here to post about That Black Ice Cream Song - it will happen again #it’s so funny tho bc like. it’s a great song - i DO love it #but i don’t typically listen to it… i literally have not listened to it since last time i posted about it on here #always a postable experience i guess lol #seriously tho Zopilote Machine is so good #i always forget when i haven’t listened to it in awhile #i convince myself it’s probably not REALLY that good #and i’m proven wrong every single time #he put SOMETHING in those songs man - lemme tell you #idk if it’s because of where i was in my life when i got really into the album initially or what #but man. #they just fuck me up

[skitskatdacat63]

I have to write a relatively long German paper, and man its just so difficult for me. The pro side is that I can pick any topic I want, so of course I picked Charles VI. But I've literally not written any German in months, and I'm almost 100% sure our prof doesn't actually read them. I should just write and submit boy king fic....

#i wish it was in English #bcs i would be very happy about it #but i have lost so much capacity for any German writing #bcs he sucks so much as a prof and has dropped the ball on actual language learning imo #how am i supposed to suddenly write a 7-8 pg paper after youve spent all our class time just lecturing at us #and giving us no real opportunity to really learn or test our skills #i shall.. probably just cheat. #LIKE i want to learn german so badly #but what the fuck is the point of even trying when i know im not going to get actual feedback on my writing #why should i even try at that point. put that much effort in and know that he doesnt really care at all #it just sucks so much bcs i genuinely love and am so fascinated w the topic #but the idea that id put so much work into translating it only for him not to read it really kills me #again. just submit boy king fic and see if he notices sjfkgllblb #but do you know what i mean? like im sure ill write a good version in english that i think is actual good content #but translating it is such a lost cause bcs all the effort is reallt for nothing #like atp im jusy interested in the history more than making an effort w the language #ugh i wish i wasnt this way but yknow lack of stimulation anf feedback really kills my enjoyment and interest #like see i can convince myself that thr eng version of teh paper is my typical personal research #<- i mean im making a fucking family tree for funsies so this isnt that far off #but the translation part is so difficult bcs my german has been eroding a bit SOB SOB #lol anyways i say this bcs i was plotting a boy king fic in my head as i was goong to bed #and was like oh i shoulf write it out tmr! and then remembered I HAVE AN ESSAY UGH #well yeah. suffering. we'll see how i feel abt i write the original copy and if i have the capacity to germanify it #i just feel so guilty about it. cheating. I dont want to and it feels so low effort and terrible #but why would i force myself thru all that for a guy who barely reads it #catie.rambling.txt

[emile-hides]

I was looking directly at a reference while drawing these and I still somehow convinced myself he had long hair. Whatever, he's pretty.

A-Z Isekai'd Cress deign by @acfan120 really got me in some kinda way and I couldn't help wanting to draw him. I also have thoughts on story for him but I'm not gonna be annoying with that rn. Maybe someday.

Bonus my warmup doodle:

#Emile's Arts #Pokemon #Pokemon Fanart #Oh it's been YEARS sense I've done non-selfship related fanart #DILF Cress got to me dude I needed to draw him #I have no idea how I convinced myself so wholly he had long hair but you know what whatever #Commit I say it looks good let it sit #Hhhh I tired to make the chain of his monocal look like tear drops #...Okay I said I wouldn't say my thoughts but like look listen okay look #To me he's either working at Parfum Palace (constructed 300 years ago so probably not if we're going the full 3000 back) #Or the Battle Chateau BEFORE it's a Battle Chateau and is just. I guess a regular Chateau??? #I personally image it's pre-BW2 era Cress when the Straiton Trio hit their slump being the weakest gym leaders #Just for the extra angst of Cress having this feeling he's not a good Pokemon battler and not very confident in his skills #And also just. What'd loosing their brother would do to an already down in the dumps Chili and Cress #I like to imagine through a side quest with him he eventually regains his confidence with battling #And maybe even establishes the Battle Chateau? that'd be fun~ #Those are like my basic story thoughts again I don't wanna. #I don't wanna go too crazy with it kfdjgkdfjgk #I just always really liked Cress he's sooooo cool to me <3 #Reliving middleschool nonsense with this one boys and girls #SORRY TO AC FOR THE TAG!!! I JUST LIKE HIM!!!!

[camels-pen]

(i haven't read Whole Cake in a while, and i never really watched it, so bear with me)

I'd love to write a fic with Usopp on Whole Cake. it'd be sooo fucking long and i'd need to refresh myself on the entire arc, but god i'd probably be so satisfied when it's done. specifically for having brought a single moment in my head to life, but we'll get to that.

On Zou, he insists to be taken along on the Sanji rescue team and has worked himself up with a whole bunch of very good reasons as to why he should go there instead of helping in Wano, but of course Luffy just immediately accepts with a "yeah sure"

With Whole Cake, I think he'd be flipping between having fun as part of the idiot trio/quartet (Luffy, Chopper, Carrot), and being terrified with Nami. There wouldn't be that many differences in the arc as a whole, though; some things would be easier/better and some things would be worse- I don't necessarily think Usopp's presence would be overall an advantage or disadvantage, just different. Like, major events would stay mostly the same, but little details would change and maybe those little details would build to a far more drastic change-

for example, maybe one of Big Mom's kids considers themself a great sniper and wants a match with Usopp, or is motivated to work harder because Usopp is around and they want to take him out and boast about it. Maybe it means Sunny takes more damage than canon, or maybe Usopp's help means less damage to Sunny. (idk if i'd really do smth like this, but it's just an example)

skjdhf fuck i'm really not equipped to try and figure this out when i don't remember shit from Whole Cake aaaa

I do know that, despite his penchant for talking and rambling, I'd probably have Usopp be dead silent after his initial shock when Sanji fights Luffy. Everything about that is the same, except Usopp is just watching Sanji the whole time- not panicking, not moving, and not speaking. He doesn't say a word the entire time, doesn't even make a sound, and that, along with Luffy's words and Nami's begging, stick with Sanji.

(Usopp is thinking of his own fight with Luffy in Water 7, he's partially wondering if this was what it was like- if it was this painful to watch from the sidelines- and partially knowing he doesn't have to say a word, because he knew, like he knew back then, that it didn't matter what was said. It wasn't quite the same, but he could tell in the way Sanji moved, in the way he spoke and held himself, that he was putting on a front, trying to be brave in all the wrong ways. Usopp didn't say a word to Sanji because there was nothing he could say that Sanji himself didn't already know. Should've known. And his quiet, direct stare, was more than enough.)

the singular moment i really wanna write, is a scene where Sanji is apologizing for dragging them into his mess- either during the big meeting in Bege's castle or some other time- and Usopp's like "I'll do what you can't, you do what I can't, right?" and Sanji pauses, a little confused, until he remembers Enies Lobby and a stupid mask and cape and-

and tears are gathering in his eyes now, fuck, but he laughs a little. It sounds wet and his face is itchy and they're surrounded by tentative allies, but he- he laughs again and he says, "Fuck, you remembered that?"

Usopp shrugs, a little smile on his face. "They were some wise words from a wise man."

Sanji laughs a third time. "You think I'm wise?"

And they banter a little more before Bege tells them to quit it since they're on a time constraint or something. Quietly, Usopp will ask, "It-it helps. On bad days. And I figured, 'what's a worse day than this?' Ah, not that you getting married would ever be bad per se-"

"Usopp," Sanji says, looking more relaxed and settled. He smiles fondly and grabs his friend in a one armed hug, crushing him to his side. "Thanks."

And yeah, don't remember much beyond that, except the whole "hiding and then busting out of the cake" bit, which would mean Usopp in a cute little tuxedo or smth- maybe with a fedora aaaaaa <- loves fedoras- helping out with the fighting and eventually sailing with everyone to Wano.

He would be so distressed about fixing up Sunny now that the whole thing with Whole Cake is over. Maybe there'd be a gag about him promising Franky to take good care of Sunny while they were gone and being confident, after being Franky's tinkering partner and learning from him over time, that he could handle minor repair work much better than he did the first time around with Merry. And so when he finally takes in all the very-not-minor repairs he has to do, he's certain Franky is gonna strangle him for not keeping his promise. Probably also try to write in some nostalgic 'repairman Usopp' vibes from pre-Water 7.

Also something something, Sanji, wanting to do more for the crew bc he still feels guilty about Whole Cake, decides to take it upon himself to help Usopp not fall into a whole anxiety spiral about the ship. In turn, Usopp ends up helping Sanji not feel so guilty- usually by handing his own words back to him on a silver platter. And, yknow, having the two of them bonding and being buddies again like they so rarely get to be in canon nowadays qwq

#one piece #usopp #whole cake island #nemotime #that bit in bege's castle isn't exactly how it would go. just kinda. trying to get the vibe. also it's wayyy too short lol #the sanuso bit can be platonic or romantic. originally when i was gonna write out this idea a while ago i was thinking romantic with my #'they get engaged/married b4 dressrosa' au but tbh platonic works just as good #im- these guys man. i hate them so much (affectionate) #i'll get to rereading whole cake and finding a way to put him in there but for now. this. #if anyone's got other ideas im all ears #edit from like march 7: thinking about this again #maybe usopp being silent is an indicator for sanji that usopp's really fucking disappointed or shocked or w/e #but for usopp himself it's like being back in water 7. he doesn't even mean to be silent. he's got words built up on the tip of his tongue #but none of them come out. and despite sanji being Right There all he wants to do in that moment. is run. #at the very least he stays and watches the whole confrontation through. but afterwards he probably feels like shit #because he's the guy who's great with words right? he's the guy that can relate the most out of the group who went to WCI. he should be abl #to make a significant difference and help convince sanji to come home. but he feels like he failed. like he's going to lose another friend #and it's going to be all his fault. (again) #[not really. we all know merry wasn't his fault but we love old insecurities rearing their head in this house] #later he'd probably end up saying the words he wanted to say. and maybe it's better that way. that he ended up waiting #until luffy's had a proper shot at scolding sanji first. because then usopp can act as support and reinforcement. which. yknow. #a sniper's duty and all #anyway i got other shit to do so i'm cutting myself off here #wci usopp

[bitegore]

Possibly if i am this often "at my limit" it is not in fact a limit at all and i need to come up with a new word for it.

#it *is* a state i find intolerable and will begin acting in unusual and destructive ways (both self and outwardly! love it!) to get away #from though. so maybe not #honestly i might just be tired and dehydrated but it's also probably because i was without my fucking hormones for like a month and i always #seem to turn temporarily incapable of tolerating even the most minor distrsss #when it's been more than two weeks off #at least i'm not convinced everyone around me is conspiring against me right now. last time i missed my hormones for too long i convinced #myself my dad was working against me and i had to kill him or leave forever and my friend had to be like red. that is crazy people talk. fo #you fucking hear yourself. before I was even like hmmmm this seems out of character for my dad and kind of paranoid of me. known paranoid #delusion haver. #at the moment i just really badly want to try like acid or something just to see what'll happen. nothing good but that's still a success #state for me #you can ask about this if you want but bear in mind that if you say something really stupid i am in fact going to say you're being stupid

[echthr0s]

the bottom line is that "aroace" is technically applicable but only in its simplest form -- the bit about not/rarely experiencing attraction. because "to other humans" is the implied part of that phrase. but that means it's also technically inapplicable! because my actual position is "as a nonhuman of no particular species affiliation I am attracted to a wide variety of other nonhuman species but very rarely humans and usually if I'm attracted to a human it's because there's something distinctly nonhuman about them that I'm attracted to"

but you just can't be sayin all that to the average, well, human

#singularity.txt #like i can't really *relate* per se to aro/ace/aroace dialogue bc... it's not about all that other stuff for me #the RA stuff is v good and i relate to that obvs but like. i'm a romantic (capital-r is probably more correct LOL) slut. #i just don't experience an innate attraction to humans just like most humans don't experience an innate attraction to idk... aliens or w/e #and frankly y'all's mating rituals are like. just not my bag most of the time!!! i don't get it! innately! cognitively i can figure it out #but innately it doesn't vibe! #anyway. just musin on a saturday morning while trying to convince myself to go to the farmer's market. yknow how it is #(why tf do they open so early. by the time i get there the cooked-food vendors will be out of food! what's the POINT UGH)

[apoptoses]

Someone take me out back and beat me until I stop tinkering with editing my current wip please

#i have spent 7 hours of my life on this #it's so hard to stop fussing because it sets up for something really good in the next installment #but getting the groundwork laid is SO HARD #i cannot convince myself that what i have is correct and works even though it probably does

[haarute]

reading posts about people noticing things that you do being its own form of love, and then thinking that the thought of being perceived at all is actually terrifying to me because i cannot imagine a situation where that wouldn't be a criticism of my person. and the realization that this is not supposed to be the case is wild to me lmao.

#for context: i just saw a post that was about someone singing again while cooking after a period of depression #and their roommate being glad that there's singing once again and the place isn't silent anymore. and how this is a sign of people caring. #people enjoying your presence. #but i would feel HORRIFIED if someone told that to me. #because it is impossible for me to think that isn't a negative comment. #not necessarily because i think the other person would be mean-spirited. but because i genuinely don't see a lot of good in myself. #and i cannot possibly believe anyone would think things about me in a positive light because negatives are all that there is to think about #it's just a fact of life that i am annoying or whatever. none of us should make a big deal out of it. just leave me alone please. #this is also why i don't really take compliments. i am Averse to people who keep complimenting me. #i've been flirted on by excessive compliments and i'm like lmao you're only distancing yourself from your goal further and further #but like. i am learning that while this is such an ingrained part of my being since i was a child #maybe it's not normal to feel this way Actually. #you know i keep saying my sister has done irreparable damage to my psyche but the more i think about it the more true it becomes lmao #not that she's at fault alone. but like. she's probably the biggest offender. #anyway. there's a lot of things fundamental to my person that i'm starting to question only recently #and i don't know if there's any fixing other than like. forcibly removing all of the parts that i don't like. #because i don't think there's any convincing for me. i am pretty stubborn after all. #so we'll see how this develops. bleh.

[theflyingfeeling]

It's not too late to start being kind to yourself today 💕✨️ but i hope tomorrow is a better day for you if today wasn't so great 💖

So sweet of you to say that 🥺 I'm afraid I've already fallen into that vicious "I can't do this" cycle so today's lost, but as I said, maybe tomorrow will be better

#i need to prepare a 15 minute teaching ''sample'' for the job interview tomorrow #and i'm actually full-on panicking about it every 10 minutes #i'm probably just trying too hard and should just keep it simple #because i was told they mostly want to see my teaching style etc. #but i feel so self-aware about the fact i've never taught on this level #of course i had never taught on high school level either until i did but that's totally different #on high school courses they have pre-selected course books that the teacher should utilize in their teaching #in uni they obviously don't have that #i had to teach a ''bookless'' content learning course in my previous school and it was a total disaster and i was so stressed out #which doesn't really make me feel any better about this job tbh #if i can't put together one 15 minute sample then how could i put together a whole fucking course from scratch? #i'm just not qualified enough i can't do this i can't do this i can't i can't i can't #this is not a feeling it's a fact supported by evidence #that's the problem with my life: i don't have enough good experiences to convince myself that i got this #no feelings of success equals to no feeling of being good enough #this goes for almost everything in my life btw not just work stuff 🤷‍♀️ #anon asks #answered asks

[love-has-a-way-ofgrowingbackward]

growing up is just being embarrassed of your younger selves again and again until you aren't <3

#aw man i was so ashamed of the things i wrote when i was younger. like i grew a little older and put them under anon on ao3 #but now i just #that was just a kid exploring writing yk? and i see so much of my world back then reflected in it. the little ways i tried to #heal and process and make myself happy with the writing. even when i didnt realise it at that time. #i gave myself cringe neurodivergent rep in a normal school and a safe family and explored queerness and stimming i. #and i was just an itty bitty kid! dipping my toes in the water!! see if it was warm!! #and i know it was so hard to sift through myself in an unsafe place like that but i still tried. i was such a good kid and so brave. #and i did it so well too. i just... im so sorry for my slightly older versions hating the previous ones. #it's literally a kid how could you hate someone like that? i was fundamentally good. i wish i could go back and tell myself that. #with like the certainty i have now. i spent so much time thinking i wasn't a good person for the things i didnt do. #i wonder if future me thinks of me similarly. probably. like objectively. #ignore my occasional ramblings mutuals this is practically the only place i feel safe enough to like talk through things. like a diary. #anyway i think my imaginary therapist would be proud of me tonight #reading through comments of the things i wrote when i was thirteen and i dont hate it anymore and im finally like. #starting to accept those compliments at face value and not convince myself the readers don't know it but im actually terrible #ahh this is a really great feeling peeps. #5/5 will recommend

[supercantaloupe]

just occurred to me this morning as i woke up this morning why i'm (probably) so taken aback by people in orchestra being So Nice to me cause i saw some photos on social media posted by ppl i traveled to [redacted] with, people who only stood to even have a conversation with me as a last resort kind of social option. i have literally Never gotten along with groups of people, Ever, unless that group of people was also orchestra people. seriously

#i wanna talk about me #sasha speaks #i'd say it's kind of sad that most of my irl social life (and half of my online one) begins and ends with other musicians #and probably should've realized YEARS ago what that says about me and my dumb brain (a touch of the 'tism) #but at the same time like. idk i can't truly make myself feel Bad about 90% of my social life #being in the rehearsal hall for the past 7 years #cause i do love playing and i love being somewhere where people don't Fucking Hate Me #(or at least where i'm not constantly the last choice of person to interact with. sometimes below no interaction at all) #and if i convinced myself to hate orchestra on the grounds of it being My One Social Outlet i'd just. idk. die or something #cause i literally have nothing else lol all k have is music #idk maybe music people have an ulterior motive (want me to play good for/with them) #but that's better than not wanting to have anything to do with me at all right? #and anyway. some violist saying he'd rather see me playing principal on the concert than dan. he's got no skin in that game right #except for being nice and liking me as a player #and while i want to be liked as a Person too i'd rather be liked as a player over not liked at all #(i don't think he even necessarily dislikes me as a person. we just never interact outside of rehearsal so i've never really encountered #him in a different context so i wouldnt know lol) #just. agh. getting invited to sit at the lunch table with other people by a pianist classmate. man!! #they don't know that.jpg it means so much to me just to be invited to eat together

[actualtoad]

i stayed after school but im leaving already. some random kid showed up and was there for a while so it wasn’t a good time really. and when i only get to stay after until 3:30 it hardly makes anything better than going home. i just feel bad for imposing myself

#i don’t want to go home #i should have told my mom to pick me up at 5 #this is nothing. why did i even bother #idk. me and my teacher talked about this summer and how im going to be trying to work a lot #he says i shouldn’t overwork myself like that. and i said i need to if i want to go to college #and he said that i shouldn’t even be trying to pay for college tuition and what i should be focusing on is money for living expenses in my #sophomore and junior and senior years. he says i should only do room and board for one year #and i should be saving for apartment expenses later down the line and don’t even think about paying off tuition until way after i graduate #and he said the universe will always provide. idk if im very convinced about that one #anyway we talked about that a little and then i brought up how im not good at keeping up with school #and he ended up saying i should probably work on my one assignment #and so i did and now im almost done. and somewhere within there some random kid showed up he had my teacher last year i think? or something #and im not good at talking when there’s more than one people in a room with me and so i just did my homework and was quiet #and my teacher started going home at 3:30 #so now im here. i left the classroom and now im just at school #since i don’t have a ride here yet. im not sure when my mom is gonna come get me #probably soon. and we have to get groceries on the way which i don’t really want to #but whatever. she��s giving me a ride #anyway i didn’t tell mr h about my concerns about the summer #i might still bring it up sometime. but i cant stay after tomorrow #and then it’s the last week of school and im really nervous about it being the last week of school #i want to go home but i don’t have the kind of home i want to go home to!!!! #and i don’t know what to do and that’s why im stuck like this #my mom is on her way to pick me up so i’ll be leaving soon #but yeah. idk. staying after was good i guess but i just don’t want to go home #im so scared of not having this option anymore