#i don't have to hide in the shadows

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Interviewer: Avatar Aang, why did you run away from home? Aang: I was told I was the Avatar at like 12, and the pressure got to me so I childishly ran away. :( Ironically that ended up being the right choice, but that's a diff story. Interviewer: Fascinating. Did you take anyone with you? Aang: Of course! My best buddy, ol' pal Appa! :D Appa: Moo Interviewer: Avatar Korra, why did you run away from home? Korra: Well the first time- I don't want to talk about the second time- it was because those jerks wouldn't let me BE THE AVATAR! So I ran away to do my duties! Interviewer: Fascinating. Did you take anyone with you? Korra: Of course! Only the best girl ever, Naga! Naga: Woof

Interviewer: Avatar Kyoshi, why did you run away from home? Kyoshi: After witnessing the death of two of my loved ones. I swore to escape my sifu's control and to get revenge by any means necessary. Interviewer: Fascinating. Did you take anyone with you? Kyoshi: Of course! I took my totally 100%, platonic bestie Rangi! Mmmhmmm just friends, totally, ONLY friends. Haha. No secret longing feelings here, no siree. Rangi: Platonic???? Not by the end of this trip, not if I have anything to say about it!

#atla #avatar the last air bender #lok #legend of korra #rise of kyoshi #shadow of kyoshi #rangi #korra #kyoshi #rangi sei'naka #rangshi #rangi seinaka #rangi i get it girl but kyoshi's having a gay crisis you need to be more forward #parallels #it was a funny post and fun parallels leave me be! #i think i'm funny #the 2nd time korra ran away she took her ptsd with her ;w; but we don't talk about that! #kyoshi is over compensating cause she doesn't want her bestie to know she's in love with her #little does she know rangi was DTF for like 2 years now TT0TT #i love how they both throw out 'i'm totally in love w/u vibes' but then they just fucking miss each other???? #and what's worse is that both think they're just soooo good at hiding it TT0TT the miscommunication no one does it like THEM #my fav type of miscommunication #absolute messes I love them #aang and korra were great foils #but adding kyoshi makes such a great 3 way venn diagram~!

[agueforts]

you know. i have noticed a lot of people who like aelwyn seem to be there for adaine & aelwyn. which is incredible and they're correct and i love that for them. but i think it also puts me in a weird spot a little, because i am more so here for aelwyn & fabian and i don't think as many people are doing that, at least in the way i am

#i think fabian is alloaro and at least a good amount into men #and chasing after aelwyn because she fits his father's legends #and everything about fabian's bravado was sculpted in his father's image and that's not so easily left behind #(the hero always saves the maiden. that's how the story goes) #i think aelwyn is sapphic and mostly not really into relationships at all #and i think they both understand each other in ways neither of them have the courage to to look in the eye #and they'd have a hell of a time sparring their emotions out together #the blood the sweat the tears the decorum the legacy the shadow it leaves in its wake. y'know? #d20 #aspen tag #also they try making out once and end up talking about their feelings #and proceed to literally never do either of those again #but it's mutually agreed they're bros and prefer it that way #i don't think either of them ever really wanted it. it's just yet another way to hide the vulnerable truths at their core

[multicolour-ink]

Time to upset the entire Sonic fandom by proclaiming that I think Shadow the Hedgehog is an overrated character.

#he has an entire backstory that has nothing to do with sonic #(sonic wasn't even born when it happened) #he DOES have a connection to the villain (eggman) but he doesn't even fight him half the time - sonic does #was he only introduced as an edgy anti-villain because that's just what the 2000s DID? #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #hides in bunker #WOW I am going to upset a lot of people #I just don't see the point of shadow anymore

[murasaki-cha]

I'm finally able to read Chalice of the Gods!

#Finally I don't have to avoid spoilers like a freaking ninja hiding in the shadows #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #the chalice of the gods #chalice of the gods #cotg #riordanverse #rick riordan

[vvanessaives]

death and the devil walk into the office...wait that doesn’t sound like a good start

#OKAY SO...i did smth silly....JKDFDKJNKD sorry for having my thoughts plagued by my own ocs as if that's my fault!!! #beside the actual meaning of the tarots i chose & how it links to them let me say 2 words on the choice of photo bc i'm insane actually #smth smth the devil is disguised among us (the city background. the shadows hiding half of her face) smth smth the branches of life twisting #and intertwining with death (the neon branches linking with their arm. life & death fucked up opposite but indissoluble bond) #and the way akira is bringer of change and transformation in the life of the ppl around them...LISTEN I'M INSANE #don't make me start rambling bc i can keep on talking of themes and symbolism forever #also akira x eva au??? anyone?? just me? okay..HFKJDSFK sorry if i'm cringe with this post at least i'm free #*ocstuff #oc: akira #oc: evangelia #cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077 #also final reminder that akira uses they/them (sir death kjdshfk) and eva she/they (milord the devil lmao) that's it i'll shut up now <33 #scheduled posting

[snoppy]

I'm sorry but I think its good that tom is saying stuff that makes you all uncomfortable. I think everyone is a little too willing to make him the hurt innocent underdog

#not able to articulate it fully which is why its in the tags #but however downtrodden he may appear he's still one of the large club of white men governing the show #and the gay shadowing and his relationship with shiv made him oversympathetic to most of the audience watching #but this man is not a victim like whatsoever 💀 building on that post i reblogged today #the entitlement is something ever present in the way he interacts with shiv #and something interesting i notice is how its only ever with shiv and greg #who are people he can control in a romantic and professional sense #especially because greg is kind of a foil to shiv when it comes to tom #“i will not let go of what is mine” etc etc #and the subservience to shiv only lasts as long as she's his only way into the family #as soon as he has an in with logan (janitors of idaho id say?) most of that stops #even in s1 as soon as the ships scandal comes to his attention he's all too happy to hide it + the ravenhead issue #my point is he's never been a good person and idk why any of you are surprised. especially don't know why the shiv haters have been arguing #what is basically reverse sexism 💀💀 #as if it wasn't abundantly clear from s3 that he exercises just as much & more control as her if he wants to #with the period tracking and the baby thing. #idk maybe i will make a better post clearly i have thoughts

[jojotier]

how do you write a story where the protagonist dies?

not one where the protagonist is fighting you every step of the way- not one where she is begging you to spare her life. I feel like that's easier, because you just set fate in motion, and hey, for the story you want, you can't interfere. it was always going to end like this. like yes I'm mourning you, but the laws of this world I've built dictate that your death is inevitable. Sorry. It will be over soon. Then we can rest.

but what do you do when your protagonist wants to die?

not because of suicidal ideation, because that, too, would be easier to deal with. you show her that life is still worth living. you show her kindness, and love, and even if she still constantly wants to die at least she can see that she might need to work on that, and you can at least promise her that things will be okay. it got better for me, so it's really just common decency to make sure it gets better for you.

but what if your protagonist has lived too long? What if there isn't any getting better because this is better, this is as good as it's going to get, and to live is to repeat a thousand years of illness and stasis?

The win state's long since been reached. She's loved and lost and longs only to go home to the place her mother and her mother's mother and her grandmother's mother has died.

how cruel am I, then, that my first instinct is to deny her?

#suicide mention #death mention #writing #my writing #original writing #or really just woes of writeblr i guess jbhkjnl #backburner projects #idk how to describe it its like #there's a hidden violence to even a true utopia #and like i don't mean a fake 'utopia' trying to hide a dystopia i mean a true blue Utopia #where humans have reached the apex of kindness and compassion and civilization and strive to tell stories #and because of how perfect everything is #people must therefore shy away from when struggles become Imperfect #when the sick and dying snap and snarl and push you away #when the illness makes them see shadows in the corner. when they stop being so easily ''''pitiable'''' bc they no longer are #the picture perfect Good Patient #because to be human is to be angry and bitter and vindictive too just as much as it is to be good #and im tired of pretending that morally good characters arent allowed to snap and be irrational #but also god i wish i could help

[steakout-05]

eeuuaghh i would like everyone to know that i apologise if i have not responded to your reblogs/mentions/posts on tumblr, i have really terrible social anxiety and for some reason people talking to me makes my nervous system think i'm being hunted for sport by a resident evil boss. sorry if i havent responded i'm not being rude i'm just having a panic attack :P

additionally: social anxiety is actually the reason why a lot of my old posts from late 2022 had weird spacing and spelling mistakes. i was too anxious to type properly

#sorry this seems like a random thing to post but it has been bugging me for a little bit now and i want to post it #and by a little bit i mean the entire time i've been on this website #as for the reason i have social anxiety: i went to a really terrible high school full of dangerous people- #-who were literally like. the worst most bigoted people ever. not everyone there was bad of course but 90% of them were- #-and that stunted by social development by 5-6 years and now every time someone talks to me i feel like i'm about to get murdered #also primary school was. bad. the other kids could sniff out the autism in me and didn't like me for it #this post isn't directed towards anyone specifically but also it kinda is because there's a DM from someone- #-that i haven't responded to in literally 8 months and every time i think about it i get anxious #i'm sorry!!! i'm not trying to ignore you on purpose and i want to say something but my brain literally will not let me out of fear :( #i'm not used to getting talked to directly so every time i do my entire nervous system starts screaming and running in circles #it's kinda ridiculous because it's like. come on. why are you having a panic attack over a message on tumblr it's LITERALLY just words on- #-a screen what are you freaking out about. but also it's like hhhhh unfamiliar social situation scary. help. #unrelated to that but i am very worried about what people will think of me and like i know i really shouldn't worry about that- #-because i can't control what other people think of me and it really shouldn't be any of my or their business. but also- #-i have legitimate trauma that backs my fears up and every time someone is even slightly critical towards me my brain just goes- #-''see? it happened again i TOLD you it would happen again. idiot. you shouldn't have said anything'' #and then i hide and cry and lay in bed thinking about how i'm going to die until i suddenly snap out of it and think- #-''wait hang on why should i care. i love being a weirdo on the internet why should i let my anxieties stop me'' #and then it happens AGAIN and it's just a viscous cycle at that point #be silly on the internet -> detect slight criticism -> think everyone hates you again -> go back on your bullshit after 3 days of crying #and it makes sense because that exact same pattern happened to me countless times as a child. #be silly in school -> get made fun of for it -> get hated for it -> rinse and repeat until you think everyone is dangerous and they hate yo #if i could put it in a metaphor it would be like me being a little rabbit who thinks everyone is a scary wolf because of their big shadows- #-even though they're all also rabbits and i'm just paying attention to the scariest parts of them because i only know what wolves look like #trauma does fucked up things to your psyche lemmie tell you #social anxiety #anxiety disorder #i'm literally the ''too scared to order food'' stereotype except it's not a stereotype because it's real and every time i look at the 7/11- #-at my campus i go ''hm but what if they hate me for the food i buy there'' even though they're LITERALLY SELLING IT what is WRONG with me #anyway um. social anxiety sucks and i don't mean to not reply ro everyone who talks to me i am sorr y

[taegularities]

To be honest,shitty anon.We don’t care about your opinion.

no bc i literally don't give a single shit bc ive seen worse crap on here. like i get it, for some reason some people want to be constantly mean to me, but what upsets me so much is that i'm already very fucking insecure about my work these days and constantly try my best to not lose this community and literally don't need anyone shitting on me and my inbox just for the sake of it

#like this happens every gd time i get excited about smth #it happens when i announce a drop date.. happens when i finally do drop the story #and it happens when im looking forward to smth the most — it's like these ppl hide in the shadows rubbing their hands #'ah she's at her best let's ruin it' kinda fkn thing every goddamn fkn time and i am SO sick of it #just leave me alone like honestly atp i don't have it in me to be nice to these jerks #anyway #notes for rid 🌹 #ash <3

[shadowhegeog]

shadow the hedgeog blog

#shadow the hedgehog #shadow posts #i wouldn't say i'm actually that big of a fan of shadow #i think the idea of him is really funny though #i just put him in a little container and admire him #but also i have a folder with so many pictures of this silly guy #and i made an entirely different tumblr account just for this dumb bit #so i dunno you can be the judge of whether or not i'm a big shadow fan #i'm just doing this for the funny #also i'm hiding this all in the tags because i'm not sure how i wanna run this blog yet and don't wanna break character um

[wrecking]

edit: i ended up just ranting abt like the current vibe™ in the tags... sorry abt that but like also whatever i don't care anymore

#d #my food therapist really said the most real thing on planet earth when she said i'm meeting me at the same time everyone else is #i feel like a cringey overzealous emotionally dumb teenager who's a total embarrassment to everyone around me while i'm trying 2 say fuck i #cuz like this is the first time in my entire life i feel like i get to actually explore my identity and do like normal young people things #and i feel just. so so exposed in the sense that everyone is watching me make a fool of myself without a single shred of self-awareness #and it makes me so fucking mad cuz like i'm finally happy with myself!! i'm finally starting to feel like a fully formed person #instead of a 2d projection or an object or something monstrous hiding in the shadows because that's how i've spent until now imo #and like. it's hard to emotionally make peace with the fact things in my social life are changing because like. there's some part of me #that thinks that maybe if i stayed in that miserable place that maybe i wouldn't have any of the problems i have now #and like my life is a lot better. and i know that and i wouldn't change a thing. but like emotionally i guess i'm just #processing it as a fault of mine to have changed bc it's changing my relationships to others #and this isn't about any one specific thing like i've been having lots of small growing pains with a lot of ppl in my life rn i just am lik #there's a lot happening to me rn emotionally so i feel like everything i do is a fuckup and i'm just bracing for more people to go ig #which might happen or it might not and tbh either is ok at this point. i need to do this in order to live i think #idk why i'm even rambling about this i just have a lot of thoughts and i want to share them i guess. not like it does anything but like #what else is this app for at this point lmfao i barely even want to talk on here anymore because i feel like everything i say on here is #just pointless. i'm thankful i have a strong support system rn cuz genuinely i don't know what i'd do if i didn't like #i feel like everything is so much more emotionally Big to me on E and it's kind of hard trying to figure out how to manage it #like i'm basically finally getting to be me. for worse AND for better. and i just am like. insecure on some level i guess #not even over my appearance tbh i've kinda made peace with that. moreso my personality and what things i share with others #this whole post is so wholly unnecessary but i feel like i'm going to go insane if i don't get this out of my head #i've genuinely been avoiding talking about my emotions or my private life on here because i don't exactly feel safe on here anymore #which is like great. love it when my primary outlet for like. socially interacting with people casually gets compromised i love it #i literally softblocked like 30 ppl off of here so i could talk abt my weird sex stuff and my body and my deeper thoughts with ppl i trust #and then i still am too conscious about it! this always happens when i make a blog for myself to talk on #maybe i'm just not meant for talking abt things

[what-wait-why]

i don't know how to describe it but base persona 5 has an inherently more somber/serious tone than Royal

#and the altered gameplay definitely effects this #Royal's effects are more flashy and vibrant #(and some of this is PS3 vs Xbox OneS but) Royal's colours‚ models‚ and textures are sharper and more vibrant #taking the atmosphere of the original game with it #idk it's something I've noticed going through Royal as I'm doing NG+ in 5 #also i do like how they changed the mechanics for Kamoshida's Castle to accommodate the hookshot #but i definitely don't like how they drop that new chick on you in the intro #I'm not sure if i like having full control of the camera‚ because being angle-locked in some scenes Added to them #but at the same time it's very nice when hiding and trying to ambush shadows lmao #no more cursing about /just/ missing that fucking guard #also maybe it's the DLC persona being available right away but Royal's Normal difficultly is easier than 5's easy which is. Dissatisfying #granted i actually know how to play the fucking game now to that might have some bearing on things lol #crow.txt #this got long. god #crow plays persona #<blanket tag for 3/4/5/Royal #also! i started 4 and now i love the 'Akiren is from Inaba' hcs

[neonnoble]

Sometimes I see friends buying nice things and having fun and just generally contributing to one another and I wish I was a real adult who could do those things too...

#i want to be so generous to people and give them money #i want to pledge at high levels to people on patreon #i want to have the energy to socialize and draw things for people instead of hiding in the shadows except for when i show my doodles #i want to upgrade my computer or enjoy tasty food or go out and have fun #instead i'm just kinda stuck in my brain #blocked off by my own self and i don't even know how to get past the barrier anymore #hardly in control of my whims or my energy levels #i sit around begging myself to get stuff done and just can't start on anything

[musingmycelium]

thinking about those absolution spoilers

#specifically thinking about William's reaction to hearing about the crimson knight #he would be devastated #possibly near suicidaly so #and varric would be the only one who would know -the rest of the kirkwall crew is split up and while they keep in contact William isn't - #-exactly the type to put that in a letter #but he couldn't hide this from varric #I'm not sure he would try #so varric.... varric has to convince him it was worth it -it mattered #and by this point i mean theyre quote unquote living together and their relationship is less... less shadowed but they've never said #i love you. they've never said it out loud #and i don't know if that would be the tipping point for varric -do i tell him it was worth it because i love him #-do i believe him when he doesn't say it back- #i want to write this scene its haunting me but lol #main reason i haven't written anything in like. forever? #Literally Have Not Been In A Room Alone For Months. #always have a family member close enough to watch what I'm doing and read/comment... like. hello? can i help you? #anyways thinkinh about this

[trans-li-ling]

I'd like ophelias character more if they leaned into either making her an awful piece of shit or a massive hypocrite more. It feels like they very clearly set her up as this cold blooded killer and then sorta yanked her back and im not talking abt her tragic backstory I genuinely like how she can't seem to be kind 2 the people luo yan saved instead of her boyfriend but I wish they just went with that instead of having her see this woman dying and going "wow that is sad :( I'll lie to comfort her" and aparantly in a bounty story of hers she was like playing with kids??? Anyways she was on top of Zora's hit list and I feel like the writers went "ok ignore that" even though Zora is the best character-

#The last part is like half joking. I love Zora and her event was probably my fave #Even if we don't have a lot to pick thru I think the writing was v strong and both she and Xiao Yin really got to shine #Plus she kinda stands out as an 'unaffiliated' character (yea bounty hunter but they're supposed to b neutral) but makes her hatred #VERY CLEAR like doesn't seem to hide it. So to just kinda go 'now feel sad for the person she hates' I'm sorry im not going to do that! #Especially when you implied/described her as being very cold blooded and not empathetic I don't really care #TLDR I think ophelia has potential but they didn't really reach it. Also Bonnie was underutilized in the story I know it's like #A side story so it's mostly ophelia like how it was almost totally ahmed last time but still Bonnie is one of the few shadow decree members #Who seem to be somewhat justified bc she GREW UP with the union not doing much! Not to say it justifies joining the organization that burns #Down an orphanage but like cmon she's 19 she's emotional she's the esper of the God of discord. I think she's allowed to be a little messy #AND HER BROTHER JOINED THE UNION. She's like tang yun if he wasn't a little bitch (affectionate I like tang yun and his writing but he is #Or at least seems to be kinda self sabotaging like. Get your shit together. Where Bonnie's situation seems more like outside factors #Fucking everything up for her. Anyways) #What the fuck am I talking about. Oops

[protect-namine]

.

#mine musings #liveblogging jj #expanding on the njmtsks thoughts. hear me out. it's like #unapologetic critic demanding honesty from people #meet eccentric artist hiding the Self behind stories #starving for creativity or else he'll kill himself #meet actor who runs from having thoughts about the Self by pretending to be other persons. putting on Other Selves #similarly. guy who doesn't want to be bothered or to Care™ and wants to distance himself from others #meet the director who WILL (annoyingly. gratefully) push your buttons to make you step up and be involved #meet actor who WILL lower your guard down and get you to Care™ before you even realize it #like i don't talk about it as much but the mitsnj dynamic is soooooo (shakes fist) #“please don't use me as a ruler to measure other people” chefs kiss. they should have more moments like that #ice princess softens up for the first time and the director goes ooooh. interesting!! #mitsu: stop making kai your errand boy. stop making me your measuring stick. this is why i don't go to your office (nags incessantly) #neji: and yet you're here anyway lmao #director creates an id playground for the actors and mitsu goes. well have YOU faced your shadow yet? yeah didn't think so. bitch #anyway. there's no one neji will entrust quartz more to than mitsu #i don't have to explain the njks and mtsks side of things obvs 'cause that's in the game #anyway yeah. something something honesty and vulnerability hitting three of them KO