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clanwarrior-tumbly · 3 days

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Hi there!

If you still take stardew valley requests please write hurt/comfort with Shane and (gn) reader about Shane getting progressively more worried about the farmer each time they go mining because of all the injuries they get there to the point where one day he snaps and breaks down in front of the farmer. It would be nice if you could show shane slowly loosing his mind each day but that would probably make the fic longer so no pressure. just pls make sure theres comfort after the hurt, bad endings make me sad :(

Thank you in advance, and even if you choose not to write this i hope you still have a lovely day.

I'm always down for Shane angst <3

In my main file I fear he's like this bc I'm constantly coming back from the dangerous mines/skull caverns on like 1 hp at 1:50 am

......

(Spring, Year 1)

"Hi, Shane!"

"God, what do you want now?"

"Nothing. I'm off to the mines." You grinned at the rugged man in front of you, holding up your pickaxe. "I'm shooting for level 120 this time, and hopefully I can pick up more gems along the way."

Shane raised a brow. "...and I care because?"

"You don't have to. Just thought I'd let you know."

'What? Like you think I'll go looking for you if you pass out? Forget it. Whatever happens is your own damn fault."

"I know the risks, but thank you." You politely answered, ignoring his blunt rudeness before checking the monster slayer guide. "The Adventurer's Guild wants me to slay a ton of bats...only 200 more to go."

""Adventurer's Guild?" Sounds stupid and childish." He grumbled, taking a swig of joja cola in his grasp. He was already running late to work, and he didn't want to get yelled at by Morris.

And he certainly didn't want you, the new farmer who made it their mission to annoy the shit out of him everyday, being the reason.

"Well it's neither of those things. It's actually thrilling." You chuckled, before digging an emerald out of your pocket. "I meant to sell this yesterday, but you can have it."

"...the hell? What am I supposed to do with this?" His brows furrowed at the green mineral you shoved into his hand.

"Keep it..for good luck, I guess?" You shrugged. "You can put it in your pocket and forget about it if you want. I just wanted to give you something nice. Plus, not to be weird, but...it kinda reminded me of your eye color."

Normally, any other villager would've been thrilled that you wanted to befriend them with gifts that reminded you of them.....

Yet Shane just stared at you as though you've confessed to stalking him.

"If you wanna give me something that's actually "nice", buy me a beer at the saloon next time." He sneered, brushing past you and continuing towards JojaMart, while you headed north of town, already knowing what you're gonna do tonight.

When you looked over your shoulder, you could see him pocket the emerald rather than throw it away despite him passing by several trash cans.

And you smiled.

(Present Day)

"Awh, you still held onto that emerald even after all this time?"

"Yeah, so what? It was the first gift anyone's really given me.." Shane confessed, heat rising to his cheeks as he held the mineral between his fingers. "I never believed in all that crap about crystals and "energy" that Emily talks about. But..I just like keeping this one around. It's like...erm..."

"A testament to the start of our friendship and eventual marriage?" You cheekily grinned as you polished your weapon, before looking to your husband.

He nodded. "Exactly what I was gonna say."

"I know you so well." Chuckling, you walked over to kiss him on the cheek. "I'm gonna head to the mines, okay? Welwick says the spirits will shower everyone in good luck. I wanna see if the fabled prismatic shards really do exist."

Almost immediately, Shane froze..and he found himself wanting to desperately say "no" and convince you to stay on the farmhouse.

But he didn't know why.

From the moment he met you, he knew you sought adventure and profits in the mines, fighting all sorts of monsters for the Adventurer's Guild. He's seen skeletons, mummies, and golems caged up at Spirits' Eve festivals, but never the wild ones below the surface who attacked you relentlessly.

Yet you never let the constant dangers deter you from exploring.

Mining was exhausting work, yet rewarding every time you cracked a stone open to find a diamond or discovered a treasure chest. With the materials you've gathered, you were able to craft some rings to wear, enchanted with powers to help make your excursions easier and safer.

Despite being well-prepared, though, Shane did have his concerns...especially as once you came home after clashing with skeletons, a scar on your head from a flying femur bone that still hasn't fully healed.

You only went to Harvey to get it checked out after your husband--who was your boyfriend at the time--insisted on it.

Even before that, he'd see you around town, bearing a new bug bite, scratch, burn, bruise, or bandaid on your body.

It never worried him before, but after that skeleton incident, he finally understood that those monsters were real and you were seriously getting yourself hurt.

He'd go to the mines with you if not for his fears that he'll only make things worse. There's a good chance he'll slow you down and find himself getting swarmed by slimes, bats, bugs, and whatever the hell else was there....and he wasn't exactly the most fit to swing a sword or pickaxe.

Simple walks made him tired.

What good would he do?

"Shane? What's wrong?"

Blinking, he snapped out his thoughts and saw your concerned face. "Nothing, sweetheart." He dismissed, giving you a little smile. "Just be careful out there, alright? I'll take care of things here."

"Thank you, baby." Smiling back, you gave him a kiss before heading out the door with your backpack and tools. "Off to the bottom of the mines I go!"

Shane tensed.

"Wait-"

As quickly as the door opened, it slammed shut, and he was left by himself in the cabin.

It was an uncomfortable silence.

'Maybe I should've tagged along.....buh, what am I saying? They'll be fine. They do this all the time. Stop getting so worked up, idiot..' Clearing his mind yet again, he went off to check things around the farm for you, deciding to watch TV later on.

There was gonna be another Tunneler's game tonight, so at least he had that to look forward to.

Nothing like that, some good food in the fridge, and this cozy cabin he got to call home...

And it was all because of you.

If you could build everything here and still having the energy to go mining and fight monsters, why should he worry?

1:20 AM

After a productive day, Shane managed to fall asleep early for once.

Only be woken up by the creak of the bedroom door.

Light almost immediately flooded his vision, stirring him from his slumber as he grumbled and tried to shield his eyes, wondering what time it was.

"Fuck..morning already-?"

"No, honey..it's...just me. Sorry.."

He blinked, sitting up to see that it was only you coming into the room, removing your rings. One of them served as your light source, yet it didn't hide the numerous scratched and bruises that littered your skin.

And they were all fresh.

"Babe, wha...are you okay?" Shane was now fully awake, watching as you peeled off your jacket and trousers, tossing them into the corner of the room before dragging yourself into bed.

Only then could he see your injuries up close and personal, and his heart began racing. "What happened? You look like hell."

"I'm fine, Shane. I just..need to sleep it off.."

"B-But...there's blood everywhere.." He mumbled, his eyes going to the clothes in the corner. "I can call Harvey-"

"No..don't. I already patched myself up. I'll be fine in the morning..I just wanna be here with you." Smiling weakly, you kissed him, before putting the prismatic shard into his hand. "Look. It exists...haha...it's so pretty, right? It's yours."

He didn't know what to say, staring dumbfounded at the mineral.

What hell did you go through to get this?

And as much as he loved it..why get it for him?

Why risk your life?

But when he looked back to question you further, you were already passed out beside him, looking peaceful despite the wounds on your body.

Eventually, he slid the prismatic shard under his pillow and laid back down, only to hesitate in wrapping his arm around you.

All he could do was gaze at your exhausted face..and the dried blood under your nose.

Least to say, he had trouble falling back to sleep.

..........

Ever since that night, Shane's grown increasingly worried over your safety during your mining trips. And it began to affect his usual routine around the farm.

In fact, calling it "worry" at this point would be a heavy understatement..

It became straight-up paranoia.

Whether you headed off to the mines or Skull Caverns early because of an "extra lucky day" or simply because you needed a specific resource, you'd always come back home the same way:

At later hours, with more injuries and bandages than last time, constantly on the verge of passing out and barely able to hold a conversation with him.

Of course, you'd have breakfast with him, and you'd never leave the farmhouse without giving him a kiss...but it did nothing to ease his mind, as he'd constantly see your wounds and dread whatever horror stories you were about to tell him.

Even though you're perfectly nonchalant as you talk about a serpent who tried wrapping itself around you and squeeze every last breath out of your body, it made Shane feel utterly sick to his stomach.

How could you be so calm after so many brushes with death?

He didn't understand.

On the surface, he seemed fine with you leaving. But when you did, he'd find himself turning to beer to calm his nerves..although most days he was able to resist the urge and occupy himself with farming tasks or video games.

Despite this, he hasn't outright told you anything. He knew mining was your passion and thought you'd chastise him for "worrying over nothing".

So he kept it to himself, thinking his anxiety was being stupid.

Then the final straw came the evening when he got a call from Harvey's clinic around 5PM.

One that he hoped to never hear:

You passed out, and were currently being treated for serious injuries.

He bolted out the cabin, all the way to the town square and damn near broke the door down. There, Harvey, Linus, and Marlon were at your bedside, the latter two having brought you in after seeing you fall unconscious in from of the elevator, covered in blood and shrapnel.

Fortunately, you were expected to make a full recovery with just stitches and some IV fluids to rehydrate your body...but you still owed Shane one hell of an explanation.

This time around, you landed in an "infested" area of the 100s, trying to use a bomb to kill off most of the monsters.

Only to trip over a stupid lava crab and drop the bomb after you just ignited it, damn near losing your leg trying to kick it away from you in time.

And by the grace of Yoba, you were able to limp your way back to the ladder, return to floor zero, where Linus so-happened to be passing by the mine entrance.

You gave the poor old man quite a fright, as he didn't know how much blood on you was from the monsters...or you.

In the end, the bomb left shrapnel in your flesh, searing your clothing and requiring stitches to ensure you didn't bleed out. You appreciated Harvey for his quick work and for Linus and Marlon for taking you to him.

However nobody in that clinic was more terrified over your condition than Shane, who was in disbelief that you were able to stand and walk back home with him after getting discharged.

He wouldn't talk to you, although his hands shook as he helped you into bed, still sleeping beside you like he did every night before this.

But this time...he had the worst nightmare possible.

He was down in the mines with you, except he felt stuck and couldn't do anything to warn you or save you from the impending danger.

It was like he was spectating a game, instead forced to watch as the bats and monsters made of shadows descended upon you with their teeth bared and claws out, tearing into your body. You had yelled for him to save you, to stop being useless, damning him for not stopping you from leaving...yet their horrible noises drowned out any further shouts.

Then you were gone.

You were gone and he failed you.

And it was all his fault.

It made him joltbwide awake at 3 AM, and he felt like his heart was about to burst from his chest. His mind kept going to you, constantly checking to make sure you're still breathing, unable to fall back to sleep for a while.

When he did, he was in tears.

..........

"No."

"Shane, I know last night was bad. But I'm not-"

"You're not going to the mines today. I mean it."

Dumbfounded, you gazed at Shane, who was physically blocking you from leaving the cabin. A scowl was written all over his face.

You sighed and rubbed the side of your head. "It's only the first few levels, honey. Willy needed bug meat for-"

"Right. The "first few" you say, and then I'll get a call from Harvey at 2 AM about you needing emergency surgery again." He gritted his teeth, tears coming to his eyes. "Whatever he or anyone in this damn town needs in those mines can wait. Why can't you just stay?!"

"I don't understand.." Your eyebrows furrowed. "You never cared before if I went there. What changed?"

"What changed....? What changed is that I've been having a lot more of sleepless nights lately! I can barely eat or do anything except worry and worry about you. And it's because...because..." He trailed off.

"Because what?"

"......."

You sighed. "Shane, if you're not gonna tell me what's wrong, then I don't see why-"

"Because you've been scaring me to death okay?!" His hands now gripping your shoulders as he stared at you. "You think you're invincible, but you aren't. What don't you get?! How badly are you gonna let those things hurt you?! Or be the reason YOU DROP DEAD AND DON'T COME HOME?!!" He screamed.

Your own eyes widened, stunned by his words..and eventually you saw the realization flash across his face as he blurted out his true feelings.

The ones he tried to hide from you, yet consumed him for hours upon hours whenever you left for the mines.

It made your heart plummet.

His breath hitched, and you then saw the tears beginning to fall from his greenish eyes.

"Shane..."

"[Y/n], you saved me from throwing my life away. And...i-it's like you're throwing away yours for no reason!" He sobbed. "Night after night, I have nightmares of seeing your limp body..a-and....and I can't save you. I can't do anything except scream and beg them to stop hurting you! But they never listen! A-And...I just...I-I don't wanna lose you. I can't lose you..."

He looked totally shattered, making you finally realize how serious this was.

Your guilt right now was immensurable, watching the man you loved fall apart right in front of you.

And it was your fault.

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry..." You pulled him into a tight hug, and he completely broke down in your arms. His quiet crying became muffled by your shoulder. "I..I had no idea you were feeling that way. Why didn't you tell me about the nightmares sooner?"

"You would've thought..th-they were stupid. Or that I sound "needy" or controlling.." He sniffled. "I-I know I can't stop you from going, but...I just..a-after what happened to you last night, I...I.."

"Oh, honey..that was my dumb mistake. The monsters had nothing to do with my injuries." Rubbing his back, you gently kissed his head. "I was tired and got clumsy with a stupid bomb..but I promise it won't happen again. You're right. I'm not invincible. I need that reality check sometimes."

He didn't say anything, instead holding onto you tighter.

You never realized how badly your mining trips and injuries were affecting him...affecting this very relationship.

The Shane you met back in Year 1 could care less if you dropped dead. He outright said he'd never go looking for you and that whatever happened was your own fault.

But the Shane you knew now was crying in your arms over the mere thought that one day you'll go into the mines and never come out, holding it all in until he couldn't anymore.

You've really helped him open up to you, but now you were tearing him apart inside and never really knew it until this point.

"W-Will you just..stay here today, please?" He finally spoke, not caring about how needy or pathetic that sounded.

"...I will." You answered. "I'll take a break from mining for a good while."

"....you would do that for me?"

"Of course. I'd do anything for you, Shane. Hell..I'd give that up altogether if you wanted me to."

You felt him shake his head, and you chuckled, squeezing him tightly. "I'm only kidding, but I promise. No more mining this week."

Shane raised his head up, looking to make sure you were serious. And he saw nothing but sincerity in your expression.

You sighed softly and cupped the sides of his wet face, seeing the torrent of anxiety and frustration raging like an ocean current in his eyes. "You must've felt so lonely and terrified, baby..I'm sorry. I won't make you feel that way ever again."

He sniffled again as you brushed away his tears, before taking ahold of your wrist to kiss your palm...where your first scar from a rock crab came from.

How badly did he wanna kiss away every scar those bastards left on you until none remained.

Some faded with time and care, but others were more permanent--testaments to your survival down in the mines..as well as your several brushes with death.

Heat rose to your cheeks, watching him become so affectionate and gentle with you, even though he knows you're not made of glass whatsoever.

Eventually, his tears ceased as you both decided to go lay down on the bed together, with Shane cuddling up to you and resting his head on your chest. All he could hear was your strong heartbeat drowning out the noise in his mind.

It was still kicking, like you.

"Thank you..god, that was exhausting.." He mumbled. "I'm sor-"

"You don't have to be sorry for being honest with me." You reassured, petting his hair. "I just..wish I picked up the signs sooner."

"INah, I should've been clearer...and maybe that would spare myself this headache I got now.."

"Hmm..how about we sleep in until you feel better? Then we can check on the chickens."

Feeling him nod and wrap his arms around you, you took that as a "yes" and chuckled softly, knowing you weren't gonna leave this spot anytime soon.

But that's okay.

There's no other place you'd rather be. Not even the mines.

#clanask #anonymous #sdv x reader #stardew valley x reader #sdv shane #sdv shane x reader #stardew shane x reader #angst #hurt/comfort

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skywqlkergf · 2 days

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⠀ dealer!sam monroe x cheerleader!reader

　　⠀　　 saturday : daytime

⠀　　⠀　 series masterlist

you wake up to the sun shining through your curtains, the brightness making you squint and roll over. stuffing your head under the pillow, anything to help you go back to sleep. you dreamt of sam, you wished you could just go back to it. you knew it was better than reality.

you forced yourself out of the comfort of your duvet, hair standing basically on end. there was the tiniest hickey on your neck, right below your ear. your hand shooting up to touch the darkened skin, your eyebrows raised and your mouth in a ‘o’ shape in surprise.

you immediately starting grabbing color corrector and concealer. if your parents were to see this you'll surely be publicly hanged. you covered up the mark, spraying setting spray on the makeup to keep it from moving. adrenaline rushed through your veins, before meeting sam you'd never really done anything to get in trouble.

now, now you smoke weed like all the time, usually in the woods behind your house so your parents don't catch you. sneaking out to go see him, and now you're marked. it made you giggle a little, and continued getting ready.

as you bounded down the stairs, you find the house empty. this wasn't necessarily an out of place thing to happen, both of your parents being extreme workaholics, they were almost never here.

as you try to find something to eat, you find a note on the fridge that reads : out of town, conference, gone until monday.

you nodded, opting for cereal, you had the entire house to yourself for the next two days. so, of course, you had to call sam and sew if he wanted to come see you.

the line rang, and a very groggy sam answered, “hello?” it was obvious he didn't look at who was calling, tone of annoyance very obviously heard. his voice was deeper than what you usually know it as, you had to bite down a giggle. something that you did out of nervousness.

“sam? did i wake you up?” you cringed as you spoke, you hopped he didn't just wake up. you peered around the kitchen til you spot a clock, it was well into noon.

“cheer, it's good to hear your voice during daylight,” you almost wanted to scoff at him, he was the one who acted like you didn't exist before sundown.

“do you want to come over? mom and dad are gone until monday. i thought,” you paused as you tried to gather your thoughts. you thought you guys could do all kinds of things. but you didn't necessarily want to do all of that, afraid that he reall would disappear.

“well, i thought maybe we could like watch some movies or something, y’know if you're not busy or whatever.” you hoped you sounded casual, but you probably sounded as nervous as you felt. your hand coming to twirl your hair around a finger as you awaited his response.

“think i can swing by in an hour, gotta run some errands. you want me pick up some food?” you could hear the flicker of a lighter through your speaker, a tell that he was smoking a cigarette, along with the air he released.

“oh! that would be great, whatever you wanna grab is fine by me. also, you have to be careful, sam! i woke up with a hickey, that is so not okay.” you wanted to giggle, sam monroe is killing you in the best way possible. you really can't be getting caught messing around with anyone, especially not the one guy that your parents specifically warned you against. but then again, that's half the fun.

his laugh comes through, “well, doll, I'll try my best but I can't make any promises. it's not my fault, really.” your knees buckle a little at the pet name.

“well, learn to control yourself, i guess.” you couldn't help but smile even though he couldn't see you.

“i’ll see what i can do.” you can still hear the laugh in his tone.

“see you soon, cheer, i gotta head out.” he sounded almost sad that he had to hang up, but he can't exactly stay on the phone with you while he makes deals.

“be safe, sam, see you when you get here.” he hunmed in response and the two of you disconnected the call.

time passes slowly as you await sam's arrival, it always seems when you want something the universe makes time go ten times slower. the hours pass by like days, but then you hear his car pulling up.

the bass in his speakers causing vibrations to be felt under your feet on the porch. you, of course, meet him outside.

as he exits the car, sunglasses perched on his face, a bag of fast food in one hand. he gave you a combination of a smirk and a smile and you just smile gently back to him.

as he gets closer you notice the stain of a purple bruise forming around his left eye. your eyes squint and your eyebrows qurik up, “hey, cheer, you look so pretty.” he greets with a unashamed grin, that falls almost immediately when he sees your face.

you pause a moment, hoping that he'd just offer up the information. “i brought some taco bell, that sound good?” he's trying to ease the now palpable tension, while also wracking his brain to try and figure out why you would switch up so quick. it's not uncommon for sam to end up with bruises, people are dicks, and it kinda comes with the job.

as soon as he is in arm's reach of you, you lean up and grab his sunglasses from his face. the bruise is decently sized, and has healed for at least a night.

“sam, what happened?” any inch of anger, mow just saddened worried for this boy or may or may not be yours. your fingers dance gently around the discoloured skin, careful not to make direct contact. he winces away from your touch, never really having anyone that gave enough of a fuck.

now that he's in front of you, you notice that it's not the only injury, his lips is also a little split.

“oh, oh, it's nothing. just a little bruise, nothing I can't take. customer wasn't happy with some prices, deal went wry, nothing you need to worry your little head about.” his hand comes to craddle your face, you have no idea what the two of you are doing, but you didn't really care. all you can think about is how this probably happens at least once a week, the thought causes your nose to scrunch up.

you're careful not to argue with him on the porch, can't be giving the neighbors a show that they'll inevitably tell your parents about. you drag him by his shirt into the house, closing the door behind you.

“sam.” you sigh, the brattier side of your attitude showing, and your heart that cares more than you could begin to understand.

you foot taps a little, trying to reign your emotions again, he just stares at you eyebrows raised. his sunglasses still in your hand, and he sets the food down on a tabletop nearby.

“nothing to worry about? your eye is fucking purple.” anger settled over your features, despite the fact that were trying to swallow it. you care about people alot, and it affects every part of your life. once you've claimed someone as yours, whatever happens to them is your problem. doesn't matter if you've known them a week or a year.

sam’s lips twitch trying not to smile, he's never had anyone care enough about to him to be upset. it was feeding his ego, and making him fall hard. you were so sweet, kind and everything he didn't deserve.

“i’m serious, sam, you have to be careful,” you pouted now, feeling deflated.

“baby, listen to me.” he comes closer, arms around yours, rubbing the skin of your biceps comfortingly. you look at him, a few tears building up in your eyes. you wanted to protect him, lock him in your basement and never let him go, cause then at least he wouldn't get all fucked up.

“no, no, don't cry,” he wipes the tears away, once again craddling your face in his hands.

“i’m okay, i’ll always be okay. I'm a big boy,” he chuckles but it's a dry sound. “i can take care of myself perfectly fine, and the other guys look way worse than me, my rings leave a pretty lil indent, okay? I'm not going anywhere, i can promise you that.” he pulls you in hugging you, the smell of his natural scent and weed filling your senses. he's so warm, and comforting.

“yeah, well," you laugh dryly, trying your best to suck up any tears you had still falling. “you better be, I'll beat you up, myself, if i have to.” he laughs genuinely at this, holding you just a little tighter.

“let’s stop this sad shit, watch some films and eat these tacos, yeah?” you nod at him, smiling a bit. you fall onto the couch beside him, a small smile falling onto your face as you do.

#dealer!sam monroe x cheerleader!reader #sam monroe x reader #sam monroe imagine #sam monroe one shot #sam monroe life as a house #life as a house sam #sam monroe fic #sam monroe #sam monroe blurb #sam monroe x female!reader #sam monroe x reader fluff #sam monroe x y/n #sam monroe x you #sam monroe x reader angst #sam monroe series

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bokvshou · 2 days

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i loved the stolitz scene. all the conflict begins with blitzø almost refusing to return the book, and it's like... but it's not all about the book, is it? blitzø needs the book to work, yes, but it's also an excuse to be with stolas without having to accept that he WANTS to see him. for blitzø it's the perfect excuse to not deal with his own feelings because "well, i HAVE to, i made a deal, i'm obligated".

leaving the full weight of their relationship on their deal (the book) means that blitzø can take the blame off of anything. he needs that shield, that excuse, to keep avoiding facing the situation, "nothing that happens can be my fault if i'm being forced to be here, right?"

he's scared. makes sense, considering that he thinks all the failure he's had in his relationships to have been his fault. PLUS, the book serves as a guarantee that stolas won't leave him because "that's the deal, isn't it? as long as i have the book he wants me".

so asking for the book back is a threat to that state of conformity blitzø feels. it means he would have to finally accept he wants stolas, his feelings, and a relationship where everything he does, good or bad, would be his own decision, with all its consequences.

asking for the book back is breaking the deal, which also means (in blitzø's head) stolas doesn't want him anymore, and it's a rejection. that's why despite having a new option to go to earth, as soon as blitzø heard that it meant no longer seeing stolas he felt unhappy.

if blitzø didn't care, he wouldn't have reacted like that as soon as he heard stolas say "you don't have to stay here with me". it really scared him to think that he no longer had a reason (an excuse) to keep visiting stolas, he felt rejected, but he also refuses to believe that anyone can love HIM, he even thinks stolas is joking, and he panics when he realizes that's not the case bc that bitch HATES himself lemme tell you that. this is a mess and i'm just yapping bc i feel you buddy.

so, what happens when blitzø refuses to accept his own vulnerability, is terrified of commitment, and doesn't consider himself to have any kind of value worth worth loving? self sabotage! he gets defensive, says shit without thinking.

and that's how he ends up hurting the person he didn't want to hurt. blitzø quickly regrets it, but what's done is done, and all that's left is a painful emptiness and silence. let's go BPD king.

#stolas helluva boss #helluva boss spoilers #blitz helluva boss #stolitz #helluva boss #i wrote this for twt but I'm posting it here as well #in my mind blitzø has bpd yes im projecting deal with it

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iris-draws · 2 days

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Let's talk about the full moon:

Okay so first of all- great ep I loved seeing the dhorks again even if they didn't play as much a part as the cherubs. (I don't really like the cherubs so I don't have much to say about them) seeing more blitz and fizz was nice, I love seeing their friendship and seeing the IMP team track blitz knowing he's about to screw everything up is so real💀

Here's the part that's probably gonna backfire on me- I think this was a great ep but idk? Like i feel like it was hyped up way too much for what it was. It was probably mostly the fan bases problem not vivs cause the writing was still the same as every other ep. But idk like this was hyped up to be a stolitz ep and it just..wasn't? It was more focused on the cherubs than anything. The Last 4 minutes were what everyone expected to be the whole episode and then for it just so end so- abruptly? Idk. I kinda hope Apology Tour will pick up where we left off but I honestly don't think it will knowing the shows writing. It will probably be a whole new day and (hopefully) talk about after the full moon ep but you never know knowing how stolitz is with miscommunication. I hope Blitz will be better and I honestly think he will.

Anyways sorry for the long rant I just want to see if anyone either agrees or disagrees with me with my thought. Also a small thing- these are my thoughts after the first viewing. My opinions usually change after a few more watches, but I kinda wanted to see if anyone was a bit let down by this ep as I was. And again- no hate on Viv or the writing! I think it was the fandoms fault for hyping up the ep too much, I don't blame Viv at all and I honestly think it was a great ep, just a bit let down by the stolitz stuff.

#helluva blitzo #helluva boss #helluva stolas #helluva boss blitz #full moon #full moon helluva boss #stolas x blitz #blitzø #blitzo #helluva blitz #stolitz #stolas #helluva boss stolas #helluva boss stolitz

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a-dragons-journal · 19 hours

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How do I drop a kintype? I'm tired of being harassed for having been a terrible person in a past life. And when I ask people not to harass me, they tell me, "If you don't want to be harassed then don't talk about it" but it's a major part of me, so never speaking about it anywhere is honestly pretty exhausting. Can I get rid of it?

I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this. I want you to know it is not your fault for existing and there are places you can be open about this without being harassed, I promise.

I honestly don't think trying to suppress or "drop" this kintype is the right answer here - you'd be trying to cut out a major part of yourself to make other people happy, and that's rarely if ever a good idea. And historically, trying to get rid of kintypes rarely works and almost always does more harm than good - you could try to separate yourself from it, deliberately stop thinking of yourself as this person, avoid thinking about it by directing yourself to other things, but I can't promise that it would work.

I would instead recommend just... block people who are assholes religiously, and eventually you'll find yourself only surrounded by people who aren't. Weed out the people who don't know how to behave. They're loud, but that makes them sound more numerous than they actually are. I know there's a server or two specifically for "problematic" fictionkind out there that might be helpful to you; the Fictionkind Dreamwidth is also a place that would be free of harassment. I promise these spaces exist - it's just a matter of finding them.

(If anyone has any recommendations, please drop them in the notes - I'm not finding links to the aforementioned discord servers.)

EDIT: AH, nearly forgot! The lovely @goratrix-betrayed ran a panel about this very thing at Othercon a while ago; the script can be found on his system's website here. I highly recommend taking a look.

#fictionkin #i'm assuming #otherkin #rani talks #asked and answered #anonymous

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starflungwaddledee · 3 months

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this is a long shot and i'm sorry to ask, but if you don't mind, can mutuals (or contacts or regulars... just... this community) of mine who aren't jumping ship like... let me know? will any of us still be here? is it over? i'm trying to know if this really is it or what's... even happening. i hate to reassurance seek but i'm feeling pretty miserable and confused.

edit: felt like i was being really pitiful and fragile making this but everybody is being so nice to me and responding so patiently with all your thoughts and i'm in tears of gratitude thank you thank you thank you 💖

#i glanced and thought they brought out a feature so that we could turn off ai access #that seemed... okay? i thought? but now i'm really confused. i don't know. i'm so tired and scared. i just can't... keep doing this #i know this is stupid but this feels like it's my fault.#it happens every time i find something. if i'm happy somewhere. it just.... poof. goes away. i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm sorry #on the edit: i would only *ever* think this about myself. double standards that i hold for myself are high. i expect emotional control #& performance from myself only. i would never think badly of anyone else being stressed about this or anything. thank you for your kindness #this community has been so beautiful and kind at every turn. i'm so grateful to get to be here and meet you all #okay... being really sappy now. y'all get to see my anxiety first hand today!! whee!! anyway. i'll get it together. haha! thank you.

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bylertruther · 1 year

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yk. the resistance ppl have to so much as considering the idea that mike might not jump to immediately and enthusiastically engaging in obvious n indisputably gay shit with will publicly is kinda funny in a puzzling way when season three and season four, where he does exactly that the entire way through, are literally right there for us all to watch on netflix.com. like. Okay ❤️

#i get not liking angst. but it's not an insane idea. do you think it's a coincidence that mike quit touching will after season two? do you #think it was just for shits and giggles when he stopped himself from hugging will and put distance between them by ''bro''-ing #out and maintained that energy throughout the entire rest of the season until he finally got over it because he realized they were #in danger and will really needed his support? do i need to remind anyone of his season three + ongoing arc and the iconic legendary #lucas look my arm and it's not my fault you don't like girls moments?#no one HAS to write or entertain those ideas but to act like it's INSANE when we've seen him do literally just that already......#we all know mike's got a mean bite and that he is absolutely losing the fight rn to conformity like 😭 huh..#like even in AU contexts that gets thrown out as being preposterous. since s3 will has been the one trying to ''fight'' for #their friendship and in s4 we see him initiating contact and getting rebuffed so it's just like . dsfhbjkjhbdfkjhsbdkjfhbdkj #like do u get what i mean. why do people act like it's crazy that he'd ever be hesitant why is that never considered for even a second #why is will the one that's written as being resistant in every way!!!!!!#anyway. clasps my hands together. I Love Yelling At Clouds #byler #mine

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leupagus · 1 year

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So I'm sure there's different versions of this

But the one my cantor* told us when we were in Sunday School was this one:

Two rich men go to a cloth merchant's shop. This merchant is known for having beautiful silks, even though he has but a small humble store in the outskirts of town — so small that his infant son is sleeping on one of the chests!

These rich men want to buy these silks, so they demand to see them at once.

The merchant says, "I am sorry, they are not for sale today. Come back tomorrow and I would be happy to show them to you."

The rich men, knowing that this merchant is a Jew, think "ah-hah, he wants more money!" So they offer him a tremendous sum.

"I am sorry, they are not for sale today. Come back tomorrow, good sirs."

The rich men are puzzled, but they double their price. Quadruple it. Anything this merchant wants, they can give him.

"I am sorry, they are not for sale today. Come back tomorrow, if you please."

So, the rich men leave, annoyed, but they present themselves the very next day and sure enough, the merchant goes to a chest and pulls out the most beautiful silks that these rich men have ever seen. And when they offer to pay, he will only accept the price that he himself has deemed fair — many times less than even the first offer these rich men made.

"But why would you not give us these silks yesterday?" they ask, happy but baffled as they (or more probably their servants, but the cantor didn't get into that) pack up the silks to leave.

Just then, the merchant's wife comes in from the back, carrying their infant son. The merchant smiles and says, "Because my child was sleeping on that chest, and I did not wish to disturb his slumber. His peace is more precious to me than all the money you, good sirs, could ever provide."

#I am tagging this as #ted lasso #because I've been thinking about this parable in the context of Ted and Henry and Rebecca's offer #and I'll admit that this is an incredibly Watsonian interpretation of the text — treating Ted as a person rather than a character —#but I do think that it's relevant to how Ted thinks of Henry #as needing peace and rest and above all HIS FATHER #and how Ted coaching at Richmond would still be Ted very much absent from Henry's life #even if Henry and Michelle did move to London!#like yeah football coaches are usually dads and probably some of them are good dads!#but I don't think Ted thought he had it in him to do both #and I think the show REALLY fell down in not making that more clear #that he was choosing because there HAD TO BE a choice #I loved season 3 but I loved my interpretation of it — and the show did not do enough groundwork for pretty much anyone's interpretation #and that's a failure of the show's creators #(the people who claim that Flying dutchman was a rapist are a notable exception — in that case they are the ones at fault because WHAT THE #anyway #believe mothereffers #* to explain: my childhood temple was very #very #VERY poor #and could not afford a rabbi #and in the end we couldn't even afford a cantor #but man those songs were great

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dont-offend-the-bees · 24 hours

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Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.

#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town #but like. We have Differences Of Opinion #and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off #but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks?#like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit'#the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true)#and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic'#and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on #but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't?#you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong?#and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him #but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him #and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit #like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men #but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way'#in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way.#and it made me SO SAD #like bro #I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle #and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope #but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own #like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little #like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang #but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me #like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally.#I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit #But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do.#.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!!#now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy #I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me

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beelzzzebub · 7 months

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the scary thing is that i don't even need to fail to fail out of school. i just need to do poorly enough that i lose my financial aid and then bam i'm out

school is my thing, it always has been. i've been told it over and over again. i practically don't have anything else. so why do i feel like i just can't do it now

i need more time than i could ever find, to recuperate from some nebulous thing that i can't even identify

i'm disappointing my entire family and doing worse than i ever have before, and i want so desperately to have the gumption to care about what i'm trying to study and learn and to make myself do it, but all i want is for it to stop. i hate that i can't appreciate or find enjoyment in where i am, because i wanted it so bad and because i know that just having this opportunity is a privilege in itself, but i just feel like i'm constantly spiraling and all i really want is a break. i just want a hug and for someone to tell me it's ok

#vent #sorry #it's just #i'm just like #not vibing atm #i wish i could #stop #for a year #and then come back to where i am #i just feel like there's no way out of this #of anything #i don't see myself ending up anywhere really #i can't think past this semester #i can't even think past tonight to tomorrow morning #i'm seriously fucked for tomorrow morning #i'm so behind #i'm doing worse academically than literally anyone else i know #i don't have like friends i can go to #and really everything shitty that keeps happening is my own fault #it's my own irresponsibility and lack of motion and direction and commitment #i'm selfish #and useless #i just don't get where this is going #i don't know where i go now #i don't know how i get anywhere else #i don't know how to get through the next seven hours to tomorrow #i'm sorry #and i'm probably going to delete this #if i post it at all #y'all did not sign up for me being a self involved asshole like this

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scorndotexe · 2 days

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genuinely sorry about all the dndposting recently it hasn't even been interesting but i'm so desperate to dm. i've got storytelling skills!!! i've got improv skills!!! i want to build a story around characters!!! i want to see what players do with what i give them!!!

#i want to get good at planning combat encounters too #i'm sad that the first group didn't work out #it really could have been great #but also. thank FUCK it didn't work out i need to get away from those people.#earlier the person that has basically only been condescending to me was like #''hey are we cool?''#because i never responded to his shitty condescending message #like no bitch we're not cool. shut the fuck up.#you have permanently ruined my opinion of you.#which may be harsh #but you need to understand he's an experienced dnd player and dm. started several dnd clubs #and did Not help me out at all #and when i was like ''hey man you're the experienced player here can you help me out''#he was like ''well i'm doing EVERYTHING i can. it's just a shitty way of life that the dm has to do everything''#(''everything'' means things i genuinely could not do by myself. things that were explicitly a group effort)#and he kept being like ''this is stressing you out let's take a break''#fucker i didn't need a break i needed HELP. i wasn't even stressed #i was pissed off #and INCREDIBLY reasonable the entire time. this sounds like biased bullshit i know #but the worst things i said were like #''hey guys i'm really looking forward to this but i can't do everything by myself i need some help''#''don't you wish you had a proactive player in your groups?''#and ''if you leave a date blank on the calendar i just have to assume that it's free. that's why we have the calendar''#so no man we're not ''cool''#also talking down to me is the easiest way to get me to dislike you. it's like a speedrun #''i don't think it's your fault. i don't think it's anyone's fault :)"#bro it very clearly is SOMEONE'S fault. definitely not mine.#fuck that guy #persimmon's rambles

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hayscodings · 6 months

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What are your thoughts on this scene?

Because at first I had assumed she just wanted him home because she wanted help with yev

But it’s her face right here that makes me think it could of been more than that

Was she worried about him? I need to know.

I'm going to be honest I don't remember what happened in this episode outside of this scene. Was Mickey in some sort of trouble? I don't remember thinking that she was worried about him.

The way I read this scene is that Svetlana wanted help with Yevgeny, yes, but more importantly she wanted Yevgeny to have a father. Family is important to Svetlana, and she didn't have any of her own in America, so she was counting on Mickey to be there for him. We know that she was already contemplating the kind of person that Yevgeny would turn out to be at this point, and I think that she was worried about how it would affect him if he grew up without his father in his life (and without any other family but herself).

Svetlana loves Yevgeny more than anything; she didn't just want him to survive, she wanted him to be happy and feel loved and cared for as well. I think that she wanted to provide him with one of the few good things she had in her childhood and felt guilty about not being able to do so.

#i really think that she was worried that not having a father would mess yevgeny up #especially since mickey was around he just wasn't interested in yev #and before anyone jumps me i am not faulting mickey for not wanting to parent yevgeny so don't start with that shit #unrelated but svetlana looks so beautiful in these screencaps i was staring at them for a hot minute #ask #message #fandom ask #svetlana yevgenivna #yevgeny milkovich

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coquelicoq · 10 months

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you guys would not believe the multitudes i contain. on the one hand i found myself thinking today "pachelbel's canon fucks. like, severely." on the other hand my 17yo cousin thinks i am "really cool" (he doesn't know about my pachelbel's canon opinions). i tried to go up the down escalator at the airport and didn't realize for SEVERAL steps, then tripped on my suitcase at the bottom and exclaimed "LORD ALMIGHTY!" in the middle of a large crowd of people who had watched this happen. a guy at the airport today saw me writing a crossword and came over to talk to my mom about it because apparently he had been on a flight with us a few days ago and saw me doing the same thing (he asked her if i was "coding". on graph paper, bro??). i wore a long, full-skirted floral dress to a wedding and did a little photo shoot of me manspreading and looking disaffected under a neon sign reading "let's party" and my entire family is obsessed with it. i brought a card and a pen to the wedding and made all of my relatives (including the bride lol) sign it for my grandmother who was unable to attend, but i was also super rude to my mom and had to apologize a few hours later after i had calmed down. a baby puked on me and it made my day. my sister said i have "really good taste in music" (she also doesn't know about my pachelbel's canon opinions) but also i am apparently the person who introduced her to janelle monáe, so point to me. the 17yo who thinks i'm cool seemed reluctant to stop talking to me at the wedding because he was afraid we would not see each other again to which i should have been like "dude do we not have telephones? and the internet?? and are we not both members of this family that gets together every few years???" but instead i was like "i know your address! i'll send you a card!" (he wants to be a dentist so i'm now congratulating myself for having saved every "i got my teeth cleaned!" sticker i was ever given as a child, because now i can send them to him and give him all of my very important anthropomorphized tooth clip art opinions.) walt whitman whomst.

#i think pachelbel's canon is good and guess what it probably actually is good. but i do feel very basic for liking it so much #like anyone who's ever played the violin is going to think very pretentious thoughts at me now that i've admitted this #whatever! i don't know anything about it except IT FUCKS! END OF STORY!!!!!#this post is incoherent but guess who was out of it enough to try to go up the down escalator?? so it's not really my fault actually #that was like an hour and a half ago so as you can imagine i am even less coherent now #i should be in bed but i remembered i needed to read some french and now i'm procrastinating. i make such good decisions when i'm tired <3 #i did successfully fill a grid for a crossword at the airport though!! and it has reflectional symmetry which i found very difficult #Good For Me #my posts

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iftitah · 6 months

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she's talking on a call with her parents about how it was her luck and gods will what got her into this college who's gonna tell her of course no one because you know 🤡🤡

#i can't believe things can get so unfair even in the education system when its literally about someone's career #roommate takes everything so casually she's just the worst person academically i encountered #and i don't have the authority to say who belongs to which place but it really hurt doesn't it #there are kids giving their everything working hard and all praying screaming to get climbed upon my someone #who spent their first year crying about missing home and not studying not even a minute under the name of not being able to adjust #then how did she suddenly adjust now how is she going on group studies now its all a joke to her #and thats why she failed this year yeah it was predictable #there were friends' friends i know who were put out and had to ask how much did she score #well ill tell you A FUCKING 347 in neet #CAN YOU BELIEVE IT #do you think she deserves to come in a medical stream?#and no she's not economically unwell for most i can say she's everything better than me #and god forbid i speak #im not against whatever thenpolitics run around i don't have enough knowledge i don't hate anyone #and im not taking anyone's right out of their platter as if i even have the right #but sometimes i see people like her and it makes me wanna cry #if they aren't at fault neither ae we.right?#but i hope she becomes someone better #does something i hope she turns out a good doctor or whatever she wants #please don't waste this seat

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insecateur · 1 year

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okay now that it's no longer french friday i can say this,

i'm genuinely really happy people like the comic— it's doing numbers i didn't expect on twitter (nothing huge but i'm used to my more silly drawings doing this well haha) and i've had a few people tell me it resonated with them personally which is what makes me glad most of all

i don't remember whether i talked about this on tumblr or not tho i do know i mentioned it on twitter at least once, but back when the game came out, i was recovering from a very fraught situation which i won't get into details about. it had been a couple years already and i had not made as much progress as i thought i had at the time, to be honest. it seems silly when you consider that i'm talking about a pokémon game of all things, but when sycamore called me after beating team flare and we met up so he could apologize for his role in everything that had happened, it struck a chord in me in a way that i definitely wasn't ready for (especially in this context)

it's funny bc i do very much ship them and i do think it's easy to read them as having been in a more intimate relationship, but at the time, there was something really powerful to me about seeing this kind of... complicated, messy relationship that had been soiled by one of the involved party misleading the other (however much you believe sycamore was misled) that was not presented outwardly as romantic. betrayal is a subject that, in fiction, especially between adults i feel, usually involves a "closer" relationship than friendship. it's usually lovers, or family, or the kind of bond that blurs the line between family and friendship. but here, at that time when i needed this, professor augustine sycamore told me, "he was my friend and so this is my fault as well" and i was like, NO IT ISN'T!

and so... i don't think pokémon xy healed me from whatever wound i carried from all of that. but being able to see that, and think to myself, no this wasn't his fault, but i understand why he'd think this way, and i understand how that feels, i think did somehow help me toward at least beginning to make peace with it. and i think it was why i was so mad for a long time at the people who were treating it like a joke, and the people who were blaming him, too.

i don't regret how i acted during my own situation as much as i did back then, and i'm glad i gave up on trying to fix it. yet there's definitely something my brain craves when i'm thinking about augustine sycamore never giving up on trying to fix it, finally facing everything head on, for ever staying true to himself as he persists in his quest to make things better... to be kinder both to himself past and present and to others...

i'm glad i'm alive right now and that i managed to keep believing in others (i'm not very good at believing in myself yet but it's getting there) reconciling with being known and knowing other people... i think it'll always be worth it in the end... that's what i'd like to communicate when i write about them working together to become better people and make the world better as well...

uhhhhhh. and also i'm gay i guess 🧍‍♂️

#samtxt #it's the constant refrain of – is this my fault? is this your fault?#and i do think i really began to move on when i told myself it didn't matter #and obviously my own way of dealing with it and my own situation are mine and have nothing to do with anyone else's #and when you really think about it i don't think it was my fault #but the point is more that... it doesn't matter bc there's no answer that will fix it or change what happened #you know ???#anyway. i'm putting this under a cut bc it's long and embarrassing #but thank you if you read it and even if you don't thank you if you enjoyed the comic👍#and if you enjoy my shenanigans around them in general. i appreciate it #and if this is/was meaningful to you i'm extra grateful !!!

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