#i dunno what that says about me

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[secondbeatsongs]

for anyone too young to know this: watching The Truman Show is a vastly different experience now, compared to how it was before youtube and social media influencers became normal

before it was like, "what a horrifying thing to do to a human being! to take away their autonomy and privacy, all for the sake of profits! to create fake scenarios for them to react to, just to retain viewership! to ruin their happiness just so some corporate entity could harvest money from their very humanity! how could anyone do something so evil?"

and now it's like, "ah, yeah. this is still deeply fucked up, but it's pretty much what every influencer has been doing to their kids for a decade now. probably bad that we've normalized this experience"

#the truman show #sbs rambles #I keep thinking about how children on popular youtube channels should probably have laws to protect them #social workers assigned to them maybe #I dunno #they did not sign up to have their lives sold for profit #but here we are #tho #I guess none of us signed up for it #and our data is harvested more than ever #god #high-tech capitalism sucks turns out #OH WAIT because tumblr is bad at getting context sometimes #let me specify: #I am not saying that the movie The Truman Show is bad or that it normalizes this #like all good sci-fi (because it is kind of sci-fi) it's there to warn us of what the future could hold #and it did that in a very good way - it's a beautiful movie #I could see someone with a bad faith take assuming I meant that it was part of the problem #it absolutely wasn't. it didn't normalize this; we did #youtube did and social media #it's us that's the problem #or more specifically: big corporations and a lack of regulation #that's the origin of most modern problems

[shopcat]

i think in the hamster wheel of my mind a big part of where people go wrong with eddie and his shitty garage band as an extension is that they for some bizarre reason think he's gene simmons metal when he's jack black metal. heavy metal. he's tenacious d metal. he's school of rock. he's stoner lord of the rings metal he nearly wore blue jeans and plaid. jack black literally in real life once said eddie was the best character bc he's heavy metal like him. LOOK AT THIS

#🍦 #answer it's bc people think he's some mishmash of all alternative scenes without any actual knowledge of where the mashing occurs 😭 #eddie is . a heavy metal guy. A cool one. a nice one even. he likes rock and roll #it's so funny when ppl try and describe it and they've never heard the stuff he actually listens to in their lives for some reason #literally so much of the appeal of eddie's character within his subculture is that its theatrical and dramatic but its still grounded #he's very alternative and Out There but he's still just some guy. he's not wearing spiked leather jackets #in fact he's not wearing any of the other kinds of leather jackets i've seen people say he would ... TO ME #sts #if u haven't seen the clip he then proceeds to air guitar the MoP melody then shouts heavy metal is everywhere #i don't even know how to explain this bc it's like ... okay #the general .. VIBE? aestheticsm? is kind of similar to what people sometimes portray but they're missing thst it's tongue in cheek #like it's like that buff poster of him being this anachronistic homage to heavy metal album covers #fire and satanic imagery and skulls and lightning and big drama and ROCK AND ROLL #it's rock and ROLL man... #and people r making him this weird sanitised dork LOL 😭 when he's a dork in a different more fun way.. imo #and it's not that those types of people don't exist and that they're not cool in their own way cuz they are sure but that's not THIS GUY #he is an 80S METALHEAD... and yeah i try and ground him in thinfs and poke and prod at it until it fits my own understanding of alternative #scenes better but that's bc i've had a hand in the punk scene for years and years #i dunno sometimes i feel like ppl r just not doing the full potential and then going way too hard in this super specific direction #and he ends up first of all usually just a massive douchebag not sure what that's about. But a guy who he would in canon HATE 😭 #YOU ARE MAKING HIM A POSER. is what i'm saying #he is alwyas some guy before he's anything else and before he's that he's a 20 year old loser #you need to reflect this... You need to bottle it. ugh. ugh #so much of this reminds me of the time someone was like he would never wear PLAID #like are you kidding me. are you actually kidding me rn #ppl have this weird arstheticised mostly modern and mostly literallt just eboy Idea of what he'd wear it's crazy to me sorry #also it's ugly #i also think. this is so long lol . anyway . i also think going too ''authentic'' in the 80s metalhead direction also lands u w different #problems. my advice to people trying to write or draw alternative characters is they are People. before they are anything else #🍏

[nicepersondisorder]

the

#okay i usually draw better. i dunno why drawing feels weird rn 😭 #ummm anyway probably expect more hazbin hotel art from me because i am completely bonkers #☆.txt #☆.png #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel #lucifer magne #lucifer morningstar #<- can i use that tag. can i. c #hazbin lucifer #hazbin fanart #digital art #also ignore the watermark i'll probably come up with something slightly different later. shrug emoji #🍎 #well at least shading is turned out pretty good. can't say the same about anatomy 😭 #ummm what else do i put in tags. blah blah blah kills him with hammers

[syb-la-tortue]

I was keeping Deku the red-freckled reindeer for a christmas treat so might as well decorate this place a bit

#Midoriya Izuku #bnha #dunno yet if I'll even continue to post art here #he can put some color here at least #I've been #very avoidant in thinking of what to do next about tumblr #and my old art #this is not the best of holidays season for me I gotta say

[starflungwaddledee]

kirbytober 2023 21 + 26 : fav characters + ship [ prev || next ]

putting this at the top because it's extremely important but i received a message implying that some folks headcanon these two as drastically different ages. you may headcanon whatever you like of course, but in my work i firmly think that they're both full adults who are at least 25+. this is abundantly clear in my work. i'm not interested in headcanoning any of them as literal children and i would never touch that shit. dni if you think that sort of ship would actually be okay. don't be a freak. thanks.

very typical to take your favs and then also shove them together but isn't that the point. anyway i have literally never seen anybody else ship them (if you're out there... hello... 😭) despite them both being very main characters and i don't know why?? they could be so cute i think...

they are both industrious adventurers, prolific hard-workers (team task doers), and a little cheekily competitive!

i think that bandee is no stranger to a wide variety of close and intense relationships; he's beloved by many and loves them all equally but distinctly in turn. magolor on the other hand has been sooo isolated and lonely for such a long-ass time, he barely knows how to be friends let alone really care for someone. bandee is smart enough to be suitably wary but kind enough to give him a chance despite that, which i think would knock him off his non-existent feet instantly. in reply, magolor could give him something unique by loving and prioritising him utterly singularly, in a way bandee wouldn't even have realised he was missing

in awtdy (pictured in the sketch page; if you see a tattered looking magolor in my art it's probably this au) in particular they are both thrown into the angst soup together and come out insanely trauma bonded at the hip. their friendship/relationship is central to the plotline; together they're working on a solution to the timeline anomaly, while also hiding that they even really know each other the whole time

#kirbtober #kirbytober #bandana waddle dee #magolor #my art #my hcs #awtdy au #yelling 'hello' into the void like the voyager probe hoping to reach another living creature who speaks the bandeemagolor language #i tend to ship in a kind of qpp way just for clarification. i kinda just don't think amatonormative romance exists the same on popstar #that said they are like... utterly unwell about each other. insane. i just am not sure they are “Dating” yknow? i dunno how to explain this #but if you are arospec and you Get What I Mean then you can say that they're in love and stuff. if you get it yknow?? yknow. #mental illnesses shaped like each other. #i know bandee is 'the normal guy' but i think he can be a little mentally unwell sometimes too; as a treat #anyway.... that's it that's the rarepair. maybe its up to me to make this a thing. do you wanna be sold on this pair?? i can do it probably #they *don't even have a tag name* but i will make up one so that people can filter it out if they want to mute it: #bandee x magolor #🍎

[punkitt-is-here]

Hey, I saw a post claiming you ship AJ and Pinkie together despite that they’re related I guess? It would be nice if you could clear that up if it’s just a misunderstanding.

HKGLSJFHJLHGHJKFHKGS OKAY SO THATS REALLY FUNNY.

it was for a post where i made a joke about the crew round robin dating before twilight showed up AND if you'll notice: it is not colored. i color nearly all of my horse drawings before i send them out. this was because i had 15 minutes to get this made before i had an event i couldnt miss but i wanted to get the idea out, so I doodled it up real quick. the characters are also fucking copypasted

So the reason is ONE i wanted fluttershy and rainbow to be next to each other and i ALSO wanted to have AJ and RD next to each other and then since i literally had, once again, 15 minutes, i didnt think about putting pinkie and rarity in the positions they were.

reason 2: i forgor. the moral of that episode was that it didnt matter if they were related by blood, AJ accepts pinkie all the same. so i just assumed in my head it didnt matter and they werent related, and even if its some great great x45 grandfather relation that would be a cousin so far removed it wouldnt even matter. when i made this image i completely forgot it was ambiguous if they were related or not and i had forgot the episode existed by the time i posted it. oops oh well!

3. that post probably got made because people on twitter are mad at me and looking for other reasons to justify it aside from me supporting just being chill with queer identity. i dont know how you could extrapolate that im some sort of incest-crazy pinkie/applejack shipper when i haven't really ever drawn ship content of them (or anyone) in the first place, and especially since round robin format works by everyone competing against everyone so literally it would be all of the 5 before twilight shows up. its silly. its silly!!! i literally meant ntohing of it bc i made it quick and im a dummy and forgot about one of the 80+ episodes that id watched up to that point.

i literally have a sibling who's awesome and i love and the idea of incest SERIOUSLY squicks me out so its fucking wild that someone would even suggest im some sort of proshipper incest artist or whatever. i can guarantee its just people deliberately looking for ways to make them more uncomfortable with me so they can justify what they're doing more. i think its very bizarre!

#my posts #asks #queer discourse #??? #i dunno a reference to the twitter drama #anyway so thats what thats all about #i was BEWILDERED when i saw someone say that about it #like no??? thats just incorrect??? #you are looking for reasons to get mad at me

[justarandomhelluvablog]

sorry sorry last time I'm talking about huskerdust tonight but does it fuck anyone else up knowing that Husk and Angel basically lived at the same time but were on opposite sides of the country. But also Husk went traveling. Like these two could have met while they were alive and wouldn't even know it. They didn't even know the other existed until they met at the hotel

Like I have. so many thoughts about this.

#hazbin hotel #Husk #Angel Dust #gods imagine how different things would have turned out for both of them if they'd met while alive #well I say that but they were deeper in their vices then than they are now so...... maybe they'd have made each other worse #or maybe they could have saved each other who knows #also just thinking about the idea of Husk and Angel meeting at a bar in New York back when they were alive #like not even knowing it was each other but having met and spent a night drinking in a bar together talking #maybe Angel was going around flirting for free drinks and Husk was waiting to board a ship to who knows where #and they're both neck deep in their own vices but Husk tries to give Angel some advice anyway (we dk if Husk's morals developed in Hell #when he lost his status or are remnants of his human life but I like to imagine he was a decent man who made a string of bad choices #we also don't know what kind of Overlord he was. for all we know the worst thing he did was bet souls so we dunno if he was cruel/immoral) #but Angel not heeding his advice bc who's gonna listen to an alcoholic amirite but he was fun to talk to and bought him drinks so #and them parting ways without even so much as learning the other's name. and all this happening just days before Angel dies #Husk doesn't even think about him again cuz he was just some dude at a bar and barely remembering bc it was ~20 years before he died #but Angel vividly remembering it bc it was one of the last memorable days leading up to his death #anyway thanks for listening to me ramble orz

[downtherabbitholewithlucy]

||WES AND HIS MANY SIDES||

#and if you don't think I'm dead serious about the last two pics in the “your daughter calls me daddy too” category #then I dunno what else to say bcuz those two pics are the most serious in that whole damn category. periodt. #just an appreciation post for my favorite human chameleon #and sort of a throwback/shoutout to one the first posts I made on my blog touching upon a similar subject with Wes #you may even recognize similar pics in this post if you have seen that post before. #that is still one of my favorite posts 'til this day #but in all honesty Wes is DADDY 100% of the time no matter what #Wes Borland #Limp Bizkit #nu metal #Black Light Burns #Wild for Wesley on Wes Borland Wednesday #down the rabbit hole

[front-facing-pokemon]

#turtwig #AND GENERATION FOUR BEGINS!!! #never thought we'd get there so soon‚ huh? yeah‚ neither did i. it's like it kinda just came out of nowhere. i knew i was queuing up gen 3 #legendaries and that usually means the next gen is right around the corner but it's still surprising to me for some reason #seeing the beginning of gen 4. who knows. turtwig is one of those starters i used to not like but i've really come around to in recent years #y'know‚ they're cute! what else is there to say? the only reason i usually don't use them in playthrus of sinnoh games is just bc grotle #or. torterra is the final one. yeah. i'm not a huge fan of it as compared to like. infernape. but then again i think gen 4 just has kinda #weak starters for my taste. not like objectively. there's a liker out there for every starter‚ for sure‚ but they've just always felt… #i dunno. default. to me. maybe it's because gen 4 is the gen i played the most as a kid. next to colosseum i guess #so they really feel like Default Pokémon. when i think of pokémon‚ gen 4 pokémon are usually some of the first ones to come to mind #and y'know! turtwig is good! good pokémon! that's about all. i like it now and i used to not

[smile-files]

there's something interesting to be said about how nickel's female friends have to constantly school him on how horrible he is but animationepic won't say it

#melonposting #spoof #<- kinda #ii neg #<- also kinda #i hate nickel. i need to kin balloon just so i can experience dropping nickel into that stupid cereal box pit #also y'know what to those people who think nickel loves clover... you're right he is kinda obsessed with her #in that he hates her so much for something that he wants (being a likable/good/happy person) <- according to my interpretation anyway #of course he doesn't want/know how to put in the effort to have it #suitcase screamed at him (as she should've) and that didn't go through his thick skull #only clover in her infinite gentleness and grace could let him know that perhaps he should say sorry for harassing someone all their life : #and even then it isn't sincere #like please don't tell me any of you took his 5-second bizarrely emotionally intelligent notes app apology seriously. good god #like i dunno it was just like clover said to apologize and he said 'on it boss' #or what are we just gonna believe that ae was like. y'know what? this guy just needs to say he's sorry #once #out of nowhere #and we won't have to worry about the horrible things he's done to people (cough cough suitcase) #like heck even if balloon accepts this bs it doesn't do jack for her (not like he should anyway) #this idiot's just so far in the socioemotional gutter that after doing a series of horrible things (which he's been made well aware of) #he'll only so much as acknowledge that he did them if it means he gets friendship points from ae's princess celestia #good god man you're not the leader of a stupid team anymore. get over yourself #the funny thing is that the only excuse for his writing lately is basically a headcanon on my end #i'm just reading into this nonsense. as far as i know he's just being written horribly haha #he's interesting to think about in the lens of 'guy who wants to be happy/good/likeable but does not actually care about anyone' #but if i'm being honest with myself to ae he's just 'jerk who's actually nice now. no he isn't. yes he is for real this time (believe us)' #whatever i need to go to bed

[passionesolja]

Gortash from Baldur’s Gate 3

#gortash is more fine to me than Captain Hook like Ik they wanted me to thirst for hook but I never could #now a mf like me looks at Gortash and says I want him hell yeah that man right there #I dunno what it is about Gortash like he is just more handsome and got a better personality #bg3 gortash #bg3 #enver gortash #baldur’s gate 3 #baldur’s gate iii #once upon a time #ouat #ouat captain hook #captain hook #bg3 meta

[frostedpuffs]

i feel like i'm the only ml fan who really doesn't care about chloe bourgeois. 🫣

thas okay

#ash answers #Anonymous #im sorry anon i dont... i dont know what to say to this LOL #i dont have opinions either way about her shes just a character to me #you are valid in ur opinion! u dont have to care abt her if u dont want to #i just dunno how else to respond

[toxifoxx]

truly at the end of the day its all about receiving validation

#<- was having a lot of fun drawing fat william till he stopped to think about what other people might think #<- very important that people like him just as much as i do #<- incredibly important (i love him so much and his character is so much more nuanced than the fandom ever gives him credit for #and he already gets shat on way too often by people who don't understand what they're talking about) #truly the amount of hate based around him being a murderer is insane. Brother he's not a real life murderer. he's not going to #come out of the screen and hurt you #I NEED PEOPLE TO AT LEAST LIKE HIM A LITTLE BIT *bursts into tears* #and i need validation #and getting people to simp for him and think oh hes hot 😳 is one of the easier and more entertaining ways to get nice comments #what i lack in skill and talent i can make up for in character design and suggestive subtext right? #ugh #i dunno it feels like the only way to get people to say sometjing nice about my art sometimes #don't get me wrong i adore drawing him slutty but. ougggghhhhhh #hope it doesnt sound like im implying he's less attractive if hes fat personally i think hes hot as fuck #its mostly about stupid ass conventionally attractive shit #and also that people get bullied for portraying him fat... That too #anyways #im normal again now #toxi.txt

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

This. This. This entire conversation with Morrigan actually makes me want to sob. She and my Tabris always becomes close friends over the course of DAO; that, paired with the fact that my Tabris always romances Alistair, makes everything about this hurt so much more when you take DAO's ending into account.

Her confusion over why my Tabris didn't send her away. Why she didn't abandon her after they learned of Flemeth's plans. Why Tabris went out of her way to slay Flemeth and bring her the true grimoire. She asks Tabris why, and is baffled when the answer is, "I did it because I'm your friend," as if it's that simple.

The way Morrigan looks at the warden, the way her voice cracks when she says, "I want you to know that while I may not always prove... worthy... of your friendship, I will always value it."

She knows how this will end; Flemeth sent her with the wardens with the end goal of stopping the blight and obtaining the old god soul through the dark ritual. Morrigan knows that Alistair and Tabris are the only Grey Wardens here, and assuming they don't find more, one of them will have to die defeating the archdemon unless they agree to do the dark ritual.

With that context, her asking Alistair, "And what if a Grey Warden has forced to choose between the Warden he loved and ending the Blight? What should his choice be?" suddenly has so much subtext weaved through the words that I'm gonna start foaming at the mouth. She's practically telling Alistair that a warden has to die. She's scrutinizing his reaction to find any hint that suggests he would agree to the dark ritual in order to save himself and the woman he loves. And when he doesn't choose, she has her answer.

Morrigan made comments to Tabris about him, almost hopeful that their relationship was just a physical thing between them and not actually riddled with feelings... and then gives disapproval when Tabris says she loves him.

She doesn't want the warden to die; hell, she doesn't want Alistair to die, either; whether because she does actually care about him or because she knows it'll break her friend's heart if she loses him, or both!

Things would be so much easier if the only two Grey Wardens left to defeat the blight didn't fall in love, wouldn't they, Morrigan?

She knows that in the end, no matter the outcome, she will lose the woman she called sister and it's devastating.

Morrigan, who has never known true friendship. Who grew up isolated in the woods with an abusive mother and terrible implications for her future. Who discovered said mother planned to take over her body just as she did with her other daughters. Who doesn't understand kindness as it was rarely given to her without a catch. Who isolates herself from the others in camp. Who finally has a companion she cares about... and in the end, if her plan works and the dark ritual is completed, she'll end up pregnant and alone and wearing Tabris' resentment like a tender wound on her heart.

Or Tabris will reject the ritual, and will die to the archdemon.

Or her lover will.

I just- the dynamic between the warden, romanced Alistair, and Morrigan is so good and painful and rich that I'm gnawing on furniture as we speak.

#dragon age origins #dao #alistair theirin #dao alistair #dao morrigan #dao tabris #warden tabris #i'm replaying dao right now in case my recent written posts haven't made that obvious #the relationship dynamics the warden has with each of the companions is so so soooo good like there isn't a companion i dislike #i play into the slow burn with alistair's romance but it's not even just the romance aspect it's also their friendship too #playing dao and not romancing alistair would feel wrong at this point for me it's so crucial to the entire story and its development #and i love morrigan's friendship with the warden and how gutted tabris is when she comes clean about everything and offers the ritual #and then bails once everything is over and tabris is torn between hating her and feeling hurt and not wanting morrigan to be alone again #i talked more in depth about morrigan and the ritual in a previous post but it's a lot... especially when it comes to the witch hunt dlc #oh and then there's the friendship between tabris and zevran like don't even get me started on that sksksks i won't be able to stop #even a character like oghren who is the last person you'd think tabris would ever become friends with since he's y'know *oghren* #but i'll go on the record and say there's more to oghren that gets overlooked and overshadowed by his glaring flaws #and i don't wanna talk about leliana... she makes me too sad like ever since my last playthrough where i accidentally triggered her romance #while i was deep in alistair's romance i have a really hard time not reading into the things she says to tabris #in my last playthrough i dunno what i did but she confessed to tabris even though she was fully aware that tabris and alistair were togethe #and it was a *mess* okay like it really felt like we killed marjolaine and leliana was in a vulnerable position yet was hardened enough #to be like 'i know she and alistair are together but i'll take my shot anyway and attempt to break them up' like.... noooooo leliana D: #and the rest of the game it felt like she was bitter and still in love with tabris and i felt *horrible* #i just said i don't wanna talk about it but hhhnnngggg i'm taking extra precautions to not have a repeat of that this time #excuse my tag ramblings i'm just very passionate about dao and the companions okay #also want to note that this is my interpretation of morrigan's motivations based on how i play the game and my warden #so others might view this reaction and the warden/romanced alistair/morrigan dynamic differently and in that case #i would be interested to hear that different interpretations because those are always fun to read

[sleepinglionhearts]

Once again I am thinking about becoming an art teacher vs. thinking about how fast I'd get fired if I became an art teacher

#idk I work well with kids but I dunno if I'd survive a classroom overfull of 'em #and like ok sure I could try teaching in Austin or something but the thing is #I would WANT to teach in town or in some other middle of nowhere small town because I feel like #those are the students who like. NEED to have someone teaching them wild ideas about art and communication #and what art can do and what art does and what art has to say #i would get so fired so fucking fast lol some kid would be like 'guess what we did in class today' #and then parents would come down on me for teaching art history to their 12 year olds #and not in the conservative white friendly way hsgshsgshs #oh who am i kidding I'd get fired as soon as parents (or some other teachers!!) find out I'm queer #happened to my 10th grade english teacher #anyway. just having some thoughts tonight