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waitingformyfavoritesongs · 1 year

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17 April 2023 Monday 3:24 pmpdt lunes 🌘🌒

Also, another idea 💡: maybe don’t make pearlescent paint for cars 🚗? I like the look 👀 but if it uses stuff that we need for building bones 🦴 (left upper arm pain bone 🦴😞😖😭) probably shouldn’t make it? Maybe okay for nail polish 💅🏼? But that’s probably it. 3:27 pmpdt Idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ much left hip bone 🦴 pain incubus making me afraid 😱 again right hip pain I’m afraid 😱 afraid afraid 3:29 pmpdt 3:30 🕞 pmpdt

4:19 pmpdt about cemeteries again, i would imagine the head stones would stay, but if murder is happening Bcz of bones 🦴, it would probably help slow down murder if there were some graves that are very old that may be it would save current lives if those were dug up. I’m not trying to be disrespectful. I’m trying to find solutions. Bcz I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ how cemeteries run. We should all consider where does it start and stop 🛑? It’s tricky Bcz I don’t want to encourage further murder. But if someone died of old age then that’s more probable that they are not going to rise up from the grave, but I’m at least saying WAIT 2 months incase. And if there’s no body in the grave when it’s dug up 🆙 after 2 months we can either assume theft or someone is alive again? And we will not be forever ♾ wondering 💭 if it will ever happen. Brain 🧠 skull 💀 acid pain 4:28 pmpdt. I’m most curious 🧐 about Christina grimmie. Bcz I was like a kid thinking 💭 he’s going to bring her back! She’s alive! But now I don’t think 💭 so. That was probably around 2018 when I thought 💭 that. 4:30 🕟 pmpdt. Also I heard when I was a kid 👧 that people used to be buried alive and they put strings and bells 🔔 in case they made a mistake burying someone. A kid told me that. So I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ if it’s true. Probably waaay b4 tv 📺. 4:33 pmpdt

4:44 pmpdt to clarify, I once did recover and lost weight, but the incubus redamaged me and has made it impossible for me to stay recovered. Last time I weighed myself probably 2 months ago I was more than 150 pounds. I have never weighed this much b4 in my life. Always tlc of your self. But know I relate to those people now that find it nearly impossible to lose the weight. And it’s not in our control most of the time even though we try very very hard. When I went to the hospital 🏥 and held there against my will and I didn’t trust the food 🥘 Bcz they intentionally bruised fruit and drenched (acid rough brain 🧠 skull 💀 pain 4:49 pmpdt) the food 🍲 with water 💦 when I was avoiding it, I lost the weight very easily! But b4 that when I was starving myself for days, the weight didn’t come off easy! So it’s a basically a curse from the demon lord and it doesn’t matter how much you eat some times! (😖😭diarrhea cramps! 4:52 pmpdt)

4:55 pmpdt why was I avoiding water 💦? Bcz almost everytime I had water 💦 I couldn’t breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️! The first time I was held against my will in 2020 (acid brain 🧠 skull 💀 pain rough hot 🥵4:56 pmpdt) I tried to get help for it by telling them I think 💭 I have asthma I think 💭 I have narcolepsy?(stop breathing in sleep 😴?) they told me to ask someone else later and then they conveniently forgot. 4:59 pmpdt so I think 💭 it probably slipped out, and they decided to be food bully the 2nd time I was taken against my will. 5 pmpdt

5:03 pmpdt my buns (butt) are on fire 🔥!!!! Fuego!!!!! 5:04 pmpdt 😫😖😭

6:38 pmpdt incubus is still breaking my bones 🦴 away with acid. Even if I had prayed for him to stop 🛑, and incubus had the power to make him stop 🛑, and controlled my flow of thoughts 💭 and what kind of thoughts 💭 I had, Bcz I’m “babydoll” as “Brendan” had called me multiple times in 2001, he still holds me at fault (right big toe sharp cutting pain 6:41 pmpdt) he needs my bones 🦴 for someone else. So I’m probably going to die soon 🔜. He wanted me to fail. So he deceived me. And made it hard for me. Intentionally misleading me. In many ways. He is officially a scumbag. Ponscum. 6:43 pmpdt my mom might die with me it looks like Bcz I asked her about acid. 😞 right toe cutting sharp pain. 6:44 pmpdt deceitful no good *sshole. Right hip bone 🦴 pain. 6:44 pmpdt that’s who he really is: a con artist 👨‍🎨. 6:46 pmpdt

6:46 pmpdt yeah, even though (rough acid pain brain 🧠 skull 💀 6:47 pmpdt) the guy most probably is alive and well after what I did Bcz he dodged me, incubus is still going to punish me. 6:47 pmpdt

6:52 pmpdt most deceitful part was doing me a favor when I lived in south San Jose and showed me he controlled traffic days before I went to that bank 🏦. Started thinking 🤔 maybe god exists and he’s my friend and he will stop 🛑 all pedestrians 🚶‍♂️ from getting in my way. 6:54 pmpdt I probably would have been more careful if he never did that to me. 6:55 pmpdt I also drank too much alcohol 🍺 in 2010. Any amount is too much when you have chronic eczema. I still was dealing with past head trauma. And abuse (left side jaw joint ? Pain 😤😥😤🥵😤😤😠😤🥵 6:57 pmpdt) from cano (acid pain skull 💀 6:58 pmpdt) when he bit and yanked the spot on my neck near the jugular (acid pain skull 💀 6:59 pmpdt) it’s basically the spot the incubus tattooed a “B” on in old English letter. 7 pmpdt I guess incubus got it to psychologically deceive me. 7 pmpdt

7:03 pmpdt I wrote about it in previous posts. Scott wanted to drink 🍺. I thought 💭 I was saving him from himself by trying to drink 🍺 some of his 40 oz beer 🍺. I also wanted to try $2 buck chuck. I brought it. And then he cracked open another to my dismay. I didn’t trust his cooking 🧑‍🍳 for a weird reason so I had it on empty. And the month b4 in New York I had I think 💭 3 cups? Servings? Of wine 🍷 with my sister and her friend. I had it even though UCB warned us about drinking. I also had a beer 🍺 or 3 or 6 btwn 2007 and 2009. I’m very surprised now that I tried drinking that much. I actually had a hang over in June 2010 for the first time and may 2010 I felt almost mute 🤐 afterwards. 7:10 pmpdt 7:11 pmpdt I think 💭 it wasn’t a good idea 💡 at all. But for me even though I did not (acid skull 💀 a brain 🧠 pain rough 7:12 pmpdt) bcome addicted to it it was a crutch emotionally for me to try not to be irritable and to be more friendly at UCB. 7:14 pmpdt incubus has no sympathy/empathy 🫂 for me. He wants to deceive me and give me a hard time so that I’m always alone. He thinks that some things make up 🆙 for the short comings and loneliness and longing. 7:16 pmpdt I was tortured emotionally and psychologically and physically all my life. 7:16 pmpdt I can’t believe in him anymore. He’s crossed the line too much. I anticipate him never stoping like he/they say in their song 🎶 Iharder to breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️. He is the worst person in the world 🌎. 7:18 pmpdt

7:31 pmpdt incubus runs a pyramid scheme. Not with money 💰 but with life and death ☠️ and bones 🦴. 7:32 pmpdt he does (left shin bone 🦴 pain) it with false promises. 7:33 pmpdt

7:34 pmpdt in 2017? He was flirting with everyone including Alicia Keyes making dreamy eyes 👀 at each other. 7:35 pmpdt even posing with Miley Cyrus (pain left brow bone 🦴 7:36 pmpdt) Bcz she has some resemblance to behati and the my had some weird symbols to show behati was the one with power and changed hearts 💕 but misleading it was Bcz he made me (acid pain brain 🧠 skull 💀 rough 7:38 pmpdt) think 💭 it was about emotions/ love 💗 and saying like when it’s true she has no power over that (acid throat pain right hip pain 7:39 pmpdt) he made me think 💭 that he meant his love 💗 for me but obviously 🙄 a lie now. He attacked me too much. I don’t believe anymore. I felt TOO much pain in my brain 🧠 and skull 💀 and couldn’t breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ and he attacked my heart ♥️ too much. Behati’s mermaid 🧜‍♀️ tattoo and dusty tattoo and dusty’s height. They are harvesting my bones 🦴 I have to rely on the tattoo symbols and what’s been true for the last 6 years. 7:44 pmpdt attacked my brain 🧠 means they lied 🤥 about new earth 🌍 with shakugan no Shana anime. 7:45 pmpdt now hear Cyrus’ voice? And look 👀 at Ariana grande. They lied 🤥 to them and used them to lie. Triangulation. 7:46 pmpdt (skull 💀pain traveled through bone 🦴 7:47 pmpdt

7:48 pmpdt they touched me my body to trick me. And then they proceed to kill me the parts they touched. Always allow a woman to respond. Don’t assume you know what she wants. ESPECIALLY if you are a man 👨. Men are frightening. I should have never been alone. Unfortunately I didn’t have friends anymore. Fake Scully. 7:52 pmpdt

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romchomp · 2 years

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nana rewatch notes- episode 12

-this episode starts with hachi telling us that ever since she was a kid, all she wanted was to “become a beautiful bride”. there was nothing else that she wanted to be. this has to do with a “beautiful bride” symbolizing happiness/the ideal way to be happy and avoid loneliness. again i think hachi sees dependency on others as a way to avoid loneliness. as a result she rushes into relationships and mold herself into whatever need be to keep the relationship afloat. as we see with shoji, she then realizes she doesn’t end up feeling happy or fulfilled in the relationship.

-before this, hachi says “im straying from the subject, but please bear with me.” isn’t this a part of her narration to nana? who is hachi’s audience? WHAT IS THE SUBJECT? Most of hachi’s reflective narration is about her relationship with nana and/or what happened between them- so maybe thats why she thinks she’s straying from the subject, but that also means she intentionally included this bit--who does she want to know this? why??? so much to think about.

-i forgot how funny nana gets when she’s drunk lmao

-hachi’s style is constantly changing…gemini rising

-hachi is so sure that nana loved yasu and vice versa which...yes and no. while hachi isn’t WRONG, it’s also a lot more complicated than i think she originally perceives. her conclusions for why anyone ever does something burns down to “they must be in love”. granted, hachi is also missing a huge puzzle piece (ren)

- i also cant believe it took me so long to see how much hachi and nobu have in common the first time watching this. it’s painful to watch this time around.

-am i being mean to hachi? i always feel like im being mean to her lol. these are all reasons why i love her so much i promise. i think her flaws are portrayed and executed in both clever and unique ways.

-also really interesting that the first reason hachi thinks yasu is stoic around nana must be bc he has a girlfriend

-another thing worth pointing out is that while hachi’s assumptions are often treated silly+naive by the rest of the characters, she’s actually usually spot on abt others romantic feelings

-idk man…junko’s attitude considering the situation is super weird to me. and this line is just sad. hachi is just baggage that shoji has the burden handling.

-okay but what does shoji actually like about hachi? has he ever said?? no.

-hachi easily changes her look for jobs- she even manages her speech pattern- when i say gemini rising

-she was so excited to see them play!! ahh love them. also, this montage playing over shoji saying that he wont betray hachi…yeah.

“if nana was a guy, she would be the love of my life. back then i often thought that. however if that were the case, i doubt we would’ve been left with only happy memories. because love and pain go hand in hand.”

-hmmm so hachi and nana definitely dont only end up with happy memories. it’s fair to assume that hachi meant that nana never hurt her (which isn’t true either). hachi probably means that she doesn’t blame nana for anything that happened between them. there’s of course A LOT to say about hachi’s constant comparison between nana and romantic partners on top of hachi always saying how much easier being with nana was, even though her relationship with nana was no less complicated. i think it felt less complicated to hachi bc she was in love with nana. idk i just think hachi is showing some lesbian behavior.

-also hachi has a boyfriend as she’s thinking this lol.

this narration goes over shoji as he sleeps with sachiko. masterful

previous episode

next episode

#nana #ai yazawa #episode 12 #i’m coming out as a astrology girl btw #sorry you guys had to find out this way #unless you follow me on twitter already…then you know how crazy i am

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white-tulips · 3 years

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I spent most of this morning continuing playing through the hikikomori route, more of my thoughts below!! (major spoilers ahead!!!!!)

if you haven’t but want to read my first post on my hikikomori playthrough, you can see it [here]!! it’s been a month since I last played any, aha...

I played for quite a few hours earlier but I don’t think I really progressed all that much aha. most of my time went towards grinding and wandering around and seeing little things. oh, and also playing through Orange Oasis. I never actually did that in my first run of the game. it was okay.

I really love how many little details and things to go back to that there are, but I’m still a little bitter at just. how long everything is. I talked about this a lot in my previous post, but it irritates me that the first 15-20 hours (give or take depending on how fast you’re able to blast through this game) is just. exactly the same as what you experience in the main route. especially since now my hikikomori save file is even longer than my main story file, and I think I still have a decent ways to go until I finish. I don’t actually know! I haven’t been spoiled for this route, thankfully, so I don’t really know how much is left. I have a vague idea of a couple areas I need to go to, but that’s about it.

ok, on to my thoughts!! this post is probably just going to be me rambling about tiny details I found interesting since I didn’t progress through much plot stuff, I think.

when I opened up my save file, I. completely forgot what I had been doing a month ago and what I wanted to do next, so I decided to go back to the Last Resort. I don’t know what compelled me to go, but there was a lot of fun stuff there so I’m glad that I did!

I had never tried to use Aubrey to go into the girls’ bathroom before? it was very cute, I liked it. I don’t know why, but as soon as I walked in it really reminded me of Basil. I think it’s all the flowers, photos hanging from the wall, and general soft cutesy vibe. I’m not really sure what to make of that, but it was just my general impression. hmmmm.

I have no words for this other than it just made me amused. go get your vacation, king.

also:

I didn’t know Hero had a confirmed age!! all this time I had been assuming he and Mari were 16 years old, so it’s nice to have something set in stone!

I have no words for these, either. seeing all of the Hero pictures just made me laugh out loud a little I loved it.

when I was standing in Jawsum’s office, I noticed that the elevator behind his desk was shaking. I went to examine it, and was surprised when this was where I ended up.

the black space elevator.

something I completely forgot to mention in my last hikikomori post was black space!! it had completely took me by surprise so I can’t believe I forgot to talk about it.

last time I played and went back to Last Resort, there was a completely black car on the highway and it had really freaked me out. as soon as I clicked on it, instead of giving me some kind of prompt Omori just got in and it drove off. I was so shocked because I wasn’t expecting it fhgjdfhgj. it ended up taking Omori back to one of the black space rooms, and I had no clue what to make of it. I wandered around for a little while, and ended up finding this... friend?

I’m... not sure! who are you......

anyways, so I got in the elevator and we’re back here, now with more spiders.

the spider wasn’t interactable. not sure whether to be upset or relieved.

aaaand then there was this guy in the treehouse. I want to know what these black space NPCs are!!! as soon as I tried to interact with it, the screen glitched out (intentionally) and then it was gone. one day I’ll know what it means.

oh, another thing I spent quite a bit of time doing at the Last Resort-

getting statues made of everyone!! RIP to all of my clams, but these are so cute.

cuuute.

I really liked the comment on Mari’s! it made me happy that it highlighted her playful side.

after I was done reexploring Last Resort, I wanted to go back to Sweetheart’s castle. I was walking through Pyrefly Forest, and I noticed one of the picnic blankets had a cooler open (signaling that you can see a new picnic cutscene) so I went to go sit down and have a picnic.

so, when I was going around earlier and doing some stuff, there were a few picnics that I think I had skipped for some reason so I was doing them and mindlessly skipping through the text for no reason other than it would bother be if I just left them. nothing about the conversations was different even though Basil is here now, so I didn’t think anything would be different for the one in Pyrefly Forest, but I was wrong!! I almost completely skipped through everything aha.

it started off the same, with Hero being scared of the spiders, and then Kel prompted Basil to say something positive to try and make him less scared.

it’s pretty insignificant, but I thought it was interesting that he said pretty much the exact same thing he says in the spider room in black space.

when I got to the castle, I went straight to the library. something about the pattern of going to black space, plus being able to go into the barn in Otherworld, just made me feel like there would be something there. and oh boy was I right. the entire place was crawling with Something.

very good.....

I wasn’t able to get screenshots of them, but there were a couple text popups that really stood out to me. my memory is so bad I can’t remember all of them even though it was only this morning,,, but I’m pretty sure one of them had a popup that was just “Liar.” and I was like HM....

it just really had me thinking....

in my previous post, I mentioned that I had a gut feeling that the Something in the barn was supposed to represent Basil, not Mari. this kind of added fuel to that thought!

the barn in Otherworld was only used in the main route in reference to Basil, with it literally showing Omori a vision of him, and also having Stranger walking into it. now, the library also has a lot of connection to Basil! after picking up one of the keys, it shows us another vision of him, and it’s also littered with egret orchids. I don’t think choosing to have all of these Somethings in both of these places is just a coincidence.

now, about the “Liar.” line. in any fight with Something, if there’s a text popup meant to be Something speaking, it’s always done like this-

with the “???:” to indicate character speech. but the “Liar.” popup was just a standalone line. and it instantly reminded me of this room in black space-

and this just kept making my brain whirl.

in this room, there were all of these popups with “Liar.” and then of course there was-

see here how there also weren’t indications of who was saying ‘liar”, but there was for Something? my idea for this room was always that it was Omori repeating it to himself. because we all know by now that Something is Mari, and her saying “I love you”, especially in this form, is nothing but pure torment. and I think here, we have Omori unwilling to believe it. there’s no way Mari could love him/Sunny. she has to be lying.

soooo then, this brings me back to the library. having the “Liar.” popup there, keeping in consideration that the Somethings there might represent Basil, what could that mean?? it could be in reference to Basil’s words “Everything is going to be okay” because clearly everything is not okay. if all of these Somethings are meant to be Basil, it could fit!!!

... so there’s my long winded theory. idk! I think it makes sense, but I could be wrong!! that’s just my first impressions right now, maybe my thoughts will change when I play more!

moving onto the piano room-

this was when I thought “ohhhh so that’s why the wall always felt hallow. it all makes sense now”

and then I spent the next 30 or so minutes fighting all of the Somethings

I LOVED this. this was the first time a fight was put on a time limit, and since Something was so much more powerful, it felt actually stressful. I was stressed! but I managed to make it with 2-3 turns left, and I didn’t die. I did die about 1 or 2 times to arachnophobia and thalassophobia though F. but it’s okay because I got an achievement and also Omori’s suffocate skill is really good.

anyways I did some more mindless walking around (I had to kill time waiting for all my statues to be built, you know!)

this made me really happy. Big Molio I love you you’re the mvp and you deserve the world.

... looking through my screenshots I wish I could forget this one-

,, do I need to even explain it.

I remember a while ago, I saw someone on twitter post this and iirc the caption was something like “isn’t it a bit morbid to have the jumprope there” and, at the time, I had never gone through Orange Oasis, so seeing that tweet I had the wind knocked out of me. I was just sitting there like “fuuuuuuuuck”. and then I went through Orange Oasis today, saw it again, went “fuuuuuuuuck” and then forgot I screenshot it. it’s just a lot.

okay who knows how I filled the rest of the 6 hours I played because I didn’t take many screenshots of the downtime and running around completing sidequests I never did. the last point of interest today was I had went back to Humphrey.

I didn’t do too much, but I did fight Mutantheart.

I adore her!!!! so cute!!! Mutantheart my beloved.

I lost to her once, because I was a bit confused, but once I caught on to the gimmick of her fight, it was actually pretty easy. rest in peace, queen, I love you...

and then, uh. Her-

I tried 3 times. I didn’t win... all of the characters are maxed leveled at 50, but this is so difficult... well, the first half of the fight I found to be pretty easy, actually. but once she switches into full power mode it’s over. I don’t know how I’m supposed to win. farewell my dream of completing the foe facts book, it was a nice goal while it was realistic.

and then I stopped for the day! I think I needed that month of not playing, because coming back into the game after a lot of my rage and burnout settled was probably best, and I had a lot of fun playing! hopefully it doesn’t take me another month to continue.

if you made it all the way through this post, thank you for reading! I hope you like my thoughts~

I’ll leave on this note-

king shit

#text #omori #omori spoilers

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kjhmyg · 4 years

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rough edges // v-day scenario (m)

pairing: jungkook x reader genre: college au, boyfriend jk warnings: smut, sex, public sex, drinking, unprotected sex word count: 8k (lol)

a/n: honestly just an excuse for me to write some smut. as promised, the valentines’ day scenario that was meant to be posted a month ago but i’m a chronic procrastinator. idk if this is good, i contemplated a lot before posting this. please wear a condom. (a scenario from Rough Edges. but it’s fine to read without the backstory too)

❀

“Oh fuck,” You gasp, holding on to the table in front of you. You hear Jungkook chuckle, then he’s leaning in to kiss your shoulder from behind.

“That’s right baby.” He whispers against your ear. “Feels good, doesn’t it?”

You chew on your bottom lip, refusing to answer. Sweat drips down your cleavage and you close your eyes, trying to reach the release you’re looking for. Jungkook’s hips move in a slow rhythm against you, grinding into you while his hands cup your breasts over the fabric of your dress. It’s warm and stuffy in here. The absence of air moving in and out of the room makes it harder for you to breathe. It doesn’t help when Jungkook presses his chest against your back and you feel the heat radiating from his body.

Jungkook doesn’t get a reply. He grabs your face and turns your attention to him, “What’s wrong, princess?” You stifle a whine at the pet name. “You’ve been ignoring me all day.”

Again, silence. Instead, you roll your hips back, earning a groan from him. He lets you continue, pulling up your dress and bunching up the fabric above your hips to watch you fuck yourself against him. “Oh⎯” You sigh, bending over to get the right angle. The table acts as a support, holding on tight as you move back and forth, slamming your ass against his hips each time. Jungkook grunts and thrusts forward to meet you halfway.

He takes over when you slow down, ramming into you ruthlessly. “Mmff-uck, don’t stop,” you mutter, bringing your fingers to your clit, rubbing in circles. You feel the buildup reaching its peak and with the way your body tenses up, Jungkook can tell you’re close. He bottoms out with one deep thrust and you snap, mouth parting and body shaking as you reach your climax. He continues his movements in slow strokes as you let your body drop onto the table, riding out the wave, soft mewls escaping you.

Jungkook hovers above you, stroking the side of your face and tucking a curl behind your ear as you catch your breath. He kisses your temple, and you would melt at the tender gesture, if you weren’t mad at him. Once you can muster up the energy to lift yourself up, you place a hand against his abs and push him away till he slips out.

Still hard and covered in traces of you, Jungkook stands in his spot, watching as you step away. Without sparing him a second glane, you start cleaning yourself up. He’s confused, “Wait, what are you doing? Where are you going?”

“I’m late for track and field.” You say curtly.

“But...I’m not done.”

He hurries after you when you get ready to leave, grabbing you by the wrist. You look back at him with a frown, “What?”

“Did you just use me for sex? Cause that’s kinda hot.” You scoff unbelievably, rolling your eyes at him. You glance down, and he thinks you might change your mind and stay, but instead you reach over to grab your underwear scrunched up in his hand before abruptly leaving.

“Wait! What did I do?” Jungkook calls out, pulling his pants back up. He struggles and only manages to stick his head out the door, but you’re already down the hallway and turning into the stairs.

❀

After two whole days of avoiding Jungkook, you’re glad he’s making things easier for you by not chasing after you all around campus today. It seems strange that he isn’t, but you appreciate the peace. It took Jungkook the whole afternoon to figure out why you were so mad at him. He only found out when he got home that same day, when he reached for his phone which he’d left on his table over the weekend while he was at work.

“Crap.” He muttered to himself seeing the missed calls and texts you’d sent him three nights ago. “Valentine’s day!”

Since then, he’d sent you a string of apologies over text when you wouldn’t answer his calls. He waits for you outside your classes when the timing doesn’t clash with his, but you manage to slip away every time, determined to get away. You don’t plan on avoiding him forever. Just maybe until you don’t feel like stabbing him every time you see him.

You’re fishing for your keys outside the apartment when the door opens. “Oh.” Hana stops in her tracks, surprised to see you home so early. “You’re back.”

“Yeah, I skipped some project meetings. Really sleepy.” You smile, giving her a half-hug.

“Okay.” Hana says, nodding. “I’m gonna go...run some errands.”

“Sure.” You reply without thinking much, not realising the smile she’s biting back.

Heading straight for your room, you let your bag fall by the side of your door and shut the door behind you. You’re just about to unzip your jeans and slip into something more comfortable, until your eyes meet another pair of eyes staring at you from your bed.

“What the hell.” You mutter.

Jungkook sits up from where he lies on your bed, crossing his legs and smiling at you. “Hey beautiful.”

“What are you doing here? How did you get in?” You gasp after a sudden realisation. “Hana…”

“I just need to talk to you for like a minute.” He says.

“Okay.” You shrug, looking at your watch. “One minute starts-”

“Babyyy,” he whines, crawling off your bed. You fit nicely between his legs when he pulls you in, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Come on, hear me out.”

You cross your arms and stay quiet, looking at the floor. His hands rest on your hips and he looks up at you with pleading eyes.

“I’m sorry,” He sighs. “I forgot all about the dinner we were supposed to have on Valentine’s Day. I went to work and I left my phone at home by accident so I didn’t see your calls or texts until Monday, after school. You were so angry and I couldn’t figure out why.” He chuckles. “Then I got home and saw all the missed calls and texts and I-”

You’re biting the inside of your cheek and looking at anywhere but him. But he doesn’t miss the tears welling up in your eyes before you can blink them away. “Oh fuck.” Taehyung didn’t prepare him for a crying girlfriend situation when he went to him for advice. “I don’t really know what else to say...I’m just really sorry. Please don’t cry.”

“I’m not crying!” Your curse inwardly when your voice shakes towards the end and you use the sleeves of your sweater to soak up the tears.

“Baby,” he says gently, cupping your face. “I’m really sorry. I love you so much, you know I wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt you. Please forgive me?”

He pulls you in closer and leans his head against your tummy. You sigh. A part of you wants him to hug you till you feel better but the other half wants to kick him out of the apartment. You had spent weeks planning the perfect date for Valentine’s. Everything was set. All Jungkook had to do was show up. But he didn’t.

“If it makes you feel any better,” he lifts his head up to look at you again. “A teacher walked in on me after you stormed out. And now I have two weeks worth of detention.”

A tiny smile plays on your lips and he giggles, nose scrunching up when he grins. You go weak when he does that. “...is that for me?” you ask quietly, eyeing a bar of chocolate placed next to him. He almost forgets about it until you bring it up. He nods, handing you the bar of Snickers.

“It’s a peace offering,” he says, unwrapping it for you. “You like this, don’t you?”

“Thank you.” You say, nodding.

He smiles wide when you start eating and draws you in closer, leaving no space between your bodies. Pressing against your lower back, a hand positions itself under your thigh and he lifts it over his own leg, doing the same on the other side so that you’re straddling him. Being the whipped girlfriend that you are, you sure have missed him underneath all the anger.

He takes a deep breath against your chest and hums, missing the way you smell. It’s hard to keep a straight face when he does that. "Do you feel better now?"

You shake your head. "My boyfriend stood me up on Valentine's Day. What do you think?"

"Okay fair," he presses his lips together. "At least you're talking to me again."

You shrug, "I might change my mind in a few minutes."

"Don't. I miss you." He says. "I'm sorry…"

"I waited for hours," you say quietly, putting down the chocolate. Then you sigh dramatically, "I even wore matching underwear cause I thought we'd have bomb sex all night."

“Okay but we could still do that though! We’re already in bed.”

“No thanks.”

“Can I make it up to you?” He asks, “How about a date tomorrow afternoon?”

You laugh and roll your eyes at him. He cocks a brow at you questioningly. “Oh, you’re serious?” You ask with a hint of amusement in your tone that offends him for some reason.

“Why not?”

“Well, I mean...” You say, shrugging. He frowns, not liking this confession. “We always go to the same diner. Either that or take out. Then we eat in your car. Not that I’m complaining or anything, I do like those dates with you. But like...my date was way better.”

“I can plan a date! A proper one.” He argues, suddenly feeling challenged. The look of pity you give him makes him even more determined. “Stop giving me that look!”

“What look?”

“That⎯ ugh.” He grunts. He doesn’t understand what just happened. How did he come here to apologise to you, only for him to end up getting mad instead. Are you doing this on purpose to get back at him? Does he really suck at planning dates? He shakes his head. “Tomorrow. You’ll see. I’ll come and pick you up.”

“Okay, fine.” You say.

“Fine!”

You push yourself off him and sit on the bed, enjoying the rest of your chocolate, watching as he storms off. He disappears out your door for a good two seconds before sticking his head back in, “Just to be clear, is that bomb sex still on the table for tonight or…?”

“Get out.”

❀

“Now, before you say I told you so⎯”

“I knew it!” You giggle before he can defend himself and he watches as you let yourself fall into his arms, laughing. “Oh Jungkook. Don’t be so ambitious next time.” You say, patting his chest.

You give him props for dressing up, showing up in a nice button down shirt that fits him just nicely. You have on a cute yellow dress you wore the night of Valentine’s, and just seeing you in that dress makes him wish he could turn back time and make his past self show up at your door that night.

“It’s not my fault,” he reasons. “The places I wanted to take you to don’t take reservations on the day of.”

“Aw, it’s okay.” You reassure him when you enter the car. “We can just go get ramen or something.”

“You’re not mad?”

“No, I kinda figured this would happen.” You laugh and he pouts, starting the engine. “Plus, I still have the upper hand so I’m just gonna enjoy this.”

��Damn...getting stood up changed you.” He says and you snort, playfully hitting him on the arm With one hand on the steering wheel, he reaches for yours with the other. “We’re gonna have a good time, I promise.”

“It’s always a good time when we’re together.” You giggle, squeezing his hand in yours.

“Can you do me a favour?” He lets your hand go and reaches for something in the compartment between you. He hands you what seems like a piece of black cloth at first. When you unravel it, you realise it’s a blindfold. “Can you put that on until we arrive?”

“Aren’t we just getting ramen?”

“Yeah but...just pretend it’s a surprise so I don’t feel bad.”

You do as he says, even if you do find it redundant. The ride there seemed a little longer than usual, but Jungkook claims it’s only because you have your eyes covered and you can’t see where you are. Taking his word for it, you don’t think much about it after that. He helps you out of the car and through the doors of a building. But something doesn’t add up. “Jungkook, why don’t I smell ramen?”

“We’re just making a pit stop.”

“Hm.” You wonder. It’s hard not to be suspicious when you know you’re not where you’re supposed to be. The sound of an elevator door opening has you raising your brows. He guides you inside where you lean against the walls. Circling your arms around his waist, you pull him in closer and look up to where you guess his face would be. “Why do I feel a plot twist coming up?”

He chuckles, trapping you against the wall with his body pressing on yours. “Don’t worry, whatever it is, you’re safe with me.”

You smile, smoothing your hands over his chest. The strained buttons of his shirt are screaming for help. "To be honest, we should just forget about dinner. Seeing you in this outfit is good enough for me.”

"And you tell me this now?"

Leaning in to the side of your face, you can feel from his breath against your skin, how he moves from your ear down to your neck, planting soft kisses there. He chuckles when you gulp, noting the goosebumps that form on your skin and the way your pretty glossy lips parts.

Regretfully, he pulls back at the sound of the elevator reaching. Hugging his arm, you walk alongside him until he comes to a stop and tells you to stay put. His footsteps recede and you wait patiently without any clue of what’s about to happen. It feels slightly cooler than before, and you can hear sounds of the city, which you find odd considering you’re indoors. At least you think you are. Jungkook looks back at you from where he’s standing and smiles, then straightens himself up.

“Y/N.” He calls out. “You can remove the blindfold now.”

“Okay.” You slip it off carefully, taking a peek with one eye first, then the other. “Oh my god Jungkook...”

He definitely did not take you out for ramen. Jungkook stands a few feet away, with a bouquet of roses in hand. Behind him, you see a single table set in the middle of a beautiful rooftop restaurant. Decorated with fairy lights above and with a view of the skyline, overlooking parts of the city, it takes you a while to process it all, wondering if this is even real. “Happy belated Valentine’s Day.” Jungkook says.

He walks over and hands you the flowers, which you accept warmly. “Thank you. They’re lovely.” You say quietly and he grins, taking your hand in his, leading you to the table. It’s the only table, you realise, that is set up while the others remain empty. You take a seat as Jungkook pulls out the chair for you and pushes it back in. Across from you, he takes his place. “Why is it empty? Is it just us?”

“I rented out the place for this afternoon.” He says casually. You wait for him to tell you he’s joking.

“You did what?” You look at him in surprise.

He simply shrugs it off like it’s no big deal. “I have connections. I pulled some strings and called in a favour.”

A waiter comes by just then, stopping you from asking any further. He pours wine into your glasses, then informs you that your meals are being prepared and will be served soon. You haven’t even taken a look at the menu, much less ordered anything, so you figure Jungkook must have sorted that out. He winks at you as he takes a sip of his wine.

To your surprise, he made some pretty good choices. Of course, you can’t go wrong when you get a little of everything. Literally. He couldn’t decide on a main course, so he requested the chef whip up small portions of food from a list he prepared. The table is filled up with plates of food which you shared between the two of you. They served risotto, steak, pasta, black bean noodles, spicy chicken and meatball spaghetti. All of which Jungkook knows you like.

He was especially excited for the spaghetti and he tells you why, “We can do the thing, like in that movie you like.” Jungkook says and you don’t get what he’s talking about, until he places one end of the spaghetti in his mouth and using his fork, holds the other end out for you.

“Are you talking about the Lady and the Tramp?” He shrugs, gesturing for you to join him.

“Oh god…” You mutter to yourself, laughing as you take the other end in your mouth. You meet each other halfway, where the spaghetti cuts off and your lips touch. A tiny moment passes where you simply stare into each other’s eyes, then he swoops in for a second kiss. You sink back into your seat shyly, hoping that the staff hadn’t seen that little exchange.

The colour of the sky slowly changes as you’re enjoying your meal. You don’t even realise how quickly time passes until the fairy lights turn on. Against the backdrop of the skyline, Jungkook looks amazing sitting right in front of you. He feels the same about you, watching you fondly as you talk about why you love looking at the sky and how pretty everything looks from up here. You’re rambling like you always do when you’re excited but he doesn’t mind.

While you’re having ice cream for dessert, Jungkook rests his head against his hand and stares at you with a dreamy look across his face. “Jungkook, stop that…” You say quietly, looking at him from under your lashes. He ignores you because he loves seeing you flustered, so you try to ignore him but he isn’t subtle, even taking out his phone to take a photo of you as you eat.

When you’re done, Jungkook walks with you to the parapet, where you get the nicest view of the city. The sun is setting and the lovely golden hue is starting to fade into cool darkness. You lean against Jungkook’s arm and spend some time taking in the sights. He reaches over your shoulder after a while, so you lean on his chest and he rests his chin on your head.

“I’m sorry for missing our date.” He says after a while. “I know you put in a lot of effort, you cooked the food and everything.”

“I did.” You nod, looking at the roads below. “You know, I don’t really care for Valentine’s Day. But I thought I’d do something nice for the fun of it. So...yeah that really blew up in my face.”

“I'm so sorry.” He says, with a pained expression. “You know I would’ve come to you in a heartbeat if I remembered. Work has just been so hectic lately, I got distracted.”

“It’s okay,” you say with a shake of your head, “ I get it. Work’s important.”

“No, no. Baby listen.” He sighs, turning to face you and holds both your hands in his. “I don’t want you to think that you’re not important to me. You are. You, are the most important thing in my life.”

“I am?” You ask, feeling giddy and he responds with a nod. A smile makes its way onto your face and he places a kiss on the back of your hand. “It’s really alright Jungkook. I understand, you’re only human. I’m sorry too, for saying your dates suck. I actually really like those dates because I get to be with you, which is enough for me.” His heart swells at your words. “And, you really came through today.”

“Anything for you.” He grins with a smug look on his face.

You pull him into a hug, resting the side of your head on his chest while you look at the view. “This is amazing. Thank you for doing this.”

“So,” with a finger to your chin, he lifts your head up to look at him. “I’m forgiven, right?”

You sigh, running your hands down his chest. Then you stand on your toes and kiss him. “Almost.”

“Almost?” He asks as you wrap your arms around his neck.

You nod, smiling against his lips. “We just need to consummate this reconciliation.”

“Right,” he grins, “and just in case I have no idea what that means….”

You giggle and kiss him again. He smiles into the kiss until he feels your hand sliding down his front, down his chest and to his crotch. You smile giddily when he pulls away from the kiss, watching you with curious eyes. This isn’t something you would usually do in public where others can see you. It’s what he would do. But not you.

“What are you doing?” He asks, glancing over at the restaurant staff. They’re busy setting up for the incoming dinner crowd, thankfully, and not paying any attention to you. Jungkook’s eyes widen slightly when you squeeze his member over his pants. You don’t reply, and only bite your bottom lip in response. He narrows his eyes on you. “Are you drunk?”

“Am I gonna get some love from you tonight or what?” You ask, whispering against his lips.

He wants to laugh, but the look you’re giving him tells he shouldn’t be wasting anymore time. Interlacing your fingers together, he walks ahead, grabbing the flowers you left on the table and giving thanks to the staff and tips them on the way out. Reaching the lift landing, you stick to him like glue as you wait for it to arrive. Your lips hover over each other’s, neither making the first move. With a giggle, you break the staring contest first and appreciate the way his shirt hugs his figure nicely, feeling up his abs underneath. He can’t decide if he’s more entertained or turned on by this side of you.

“You’re so sexy,” you mutter to yourself, but loud enough for him to catch. “You should wear shirts more often.”

“Suggestion noted.” He says, nodding.

When the elevator arrives, he pushes you in, presses the button and pins you against the side. A hand moves to cup one side of your face, holding it up so he can kiss you. It’s gentle at first, until you’re biting on his bottom lip and sucking on it. He breathes hard, “Lucky for us, we won’t have to wait till we get home.”

“We don’t? You wanna do it here?” You ask, already unbuttoning the first button on his shirt.

“Don’t tempt me.” He says, lifting you up and wrapping your legs around his waist. He moves in on your neck, looking for that sweet spot. His search is cut short when the elevator stops on a level that’s not the lobby. He helps you back on your feet, then leads you down a hallway of apartments. He stops in front of one and keys in a code, gesturing for you to enter as the door clicks open.

"This is yours?" You ask, taking a look around the apartment. "It's nice."

You doubt it’s his. It’s well decorated with expensive looking furniture and decor accessories, but lacks any signs of having lived in.

"Not mine. Just borrowing for tonight." He says, locking up.

"Wait a minute," Your eyes land on the dining table which has a black backpack on it, that looks exactly like yours. You step closer to take a look, "Isn’t this mine?"

"Yup." He smiles, all smug. "Hana helped me pack and bring it over earlier.” You laugh. Of course she did. Inside, you find the clothes she’s packed for you to sleep in as well as something you could wear the next day. She’s amazing. Although, you do need to have a talk with Hana about how she’s supposed to be on your side and not Jungkook’s. She’s somehow developed a soft spot for Jungkook and you’re jealous because she should have a soft spot for you instead.

Jungkook heads for the kitchen and grabs your hand as he goes, finding two glasses and a bottle of wine sitting on the island. He pours some into the glasses and hands you one. You rest with your back against the island top and take a sip, watching Jungkook with alluring eyes.

“Let’s talk about how you walked out on me the other day, hm?” He asks, voice gentle. Moving in closer, his arms rest on both sides of you, trapping you in place.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You smile. “I’m a good girl, you know.”

“Are you?” He licks his lips and your knees go weak.

You dodge when he moves in to kiss you, just to mess with him. His eyes go dark but before he makes another move, you duck under his arm, making a run for it. Halfway across the living area, you stop and turn, waiting for a reaction. There’s a wicked smile on his face; one that shows how serious he is, but he’s willing to play your game. When he starts coming after you, you giggle and run straight for the first room down the hall. But he’s quick and before you can shut the door, he’s squeezing through the gap and blocks you from doing so.

His strength is no match for you, easily pushing the door open so he can enter. You rush to get away before he can get his hands on you; which ironically, is what you really want. Standing by the foot of the bed, you wait, with your hands behind your back and head tilted to the side with a playful smile on your face. He decides to watch you, awaiting your next move.

Perhaps he underestimates what a few glasses of wine does for your confidence, you think. Slowly, your hands start undoing the zipper of your dress. He reacts ever so slightly to your bold move, forgetting how you can see the bobbing of his adam’s apple as he takes a gulp. It’s a painfully long wait, being able to only hear the sound of the zipper as it moves down, until it finally comes to a stop. You slip off a side of the sleeve over your shoulder, and then the other, letting the dress slip to the ground, leaving you in nothing but the necklace he gave you around your neck. “I skipped the matching underwear. Hope you don’t mind.”

His lips are pursed and he nods in approval as he steps closer, eyes roaming your body. Hands finding place on your waist, his thumb presses against your flesh and he watches as it sinks in. As eager as he is, he can’t help but feel something tugging at his heart when he looks at your face. Sure, you’ve had some drinks but behind the lust in your eyes, he sees you, the person who looks at him with the same endearment he looks at you with. “Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?”

“You look good too, but why do you still have clothes on?” You ask, quickly undoing the rest of his buttons.

“I’m trying to have a romantic moment here.” He shakes his head and laughs. He will never let you live this down. “Who knew you were a horny drunk…”

“I’m not drunk,” you pout. “Just a little tipsy.”

"I like her." He smiles, tracing your lips with his finger. "She's…spunky."

"You like her more than sober me?" You peel off his shirt and he lets it fall to the ground.

"I like all of you. Everything." He touches every part of you within reach as he holds you close, bringing you in for a kiss. You slip your tongue into the kiss and refuse to let him pull away, trapping him in your arms. But he's too strong, easily tearing your arms from around his neck. He climbs into bed with you in his arms and legs wrapped around his middle.

You’re straddling him at first, fighting his tongue for dominance until he finally cups your jaw and pulls you away. He adjusts your position, turning you around in his lap so that your back is pressed to his chest. You let him spread your legs, using his own to keep them apart and his fingers go straight to your cunt. It has you gasping at the touch. No time is wasted as he runs his fingers up and down your folds, taking his time to explore it. It doesn’t come as a surprise to see how wet you already are. He’s barely touched you but you’re slick enough to allow him two slide two fingers in. Your thighs threaten to close at the intrusion but he pushes them apart, sliding his fingers in and out of you easily. “Listen to that,” he says in your ear. The sound of your wetness gets louder as his fingers go faster. “You’re so dirty. Look at how wet you are already.”

You bite back a smile, slightly embarrassed but not sorry. He slips in another finger, making you sigh, yearning for more. His fingers move in a gentle rhythm at first, and you buck your hips forward, trying to get as much inside you as possible. When he removes them, you whine in protest and watch him with pleading eyes. Jungkook smiles, then goes back to running his fingers over your folds, this time giving more attention to your clit. Dropping your head back, leaning on his shoulder, you grab on to his arms, sinking your nails into his skin.

“Look at this mess.” He clicks his tongue, teasing your entrance with the pad of his finger, now dripping in your juice. You breathe hard, and almost cry out in annoyance when he slips only one finger in, up till the first knuckle just to watch you squirm.

“Stop teasing!” You huff, looking up at him. “Fuck me.”

Three fingers slip back into you without warning and you squirm, pushing up against him. “Shh, baby. Be a good girl and I’ll give it to you. Okay?”

You nod obediently, stifling back a whine. Still inside you, he lets you kiss him, “Please.”

How could he say no to those beautiful eyes? He removes his fingers and brings them to his mouth, licking off every last trace of you as you watch him hungrily. The bed dips slightly when he moves to his feet to remove his pants, letting them fall to the floor. His underwear barely does its job of keeping his member in now that he’s hard. Once it’s off, you lick your lips at the sight of him, naked before you.

As he rejoins you back on the bed, he starts pumping himself in fast strokes, maintaining eye contact. Imagining him touching himself to you is what gets you off on your solo nights, and watching him do it right in front of you, makes blood your cunt throb in urgent need.

He reaches for a bottle of lube and condoms he placed on the nightstand and you chuckle. “You really prepared for this huh?”

“Of course I did. Can’t let my baby down again.” You swoon at his words, you always liked it when he referred to you as his baby. Sitting up, you place your lips on his in a gentle kiss which he smiles into. He unwraps the condom, but you snatch it from him and toss it aside. He watches as it flies across the room and falls to the ground, now unusable. “What are you doing?”

You only smile in response, squeezing lube over his cock and spreading it all over. He looks at you questioningly, then smiles wide. “Really?”

He didn’t think it was possible to get any more turned on than he already is, but your consenting nod makes things even more urgent. You lie on your back and stretch your arms out, motioning for him to come into your arms. Hands wrapping around your ankles, he tugs you down the sheets to get you closer before fitting himself between your legs, chest meeting yours and faces just an inch apart. You snake your arms around his shoulders and look at him with a fond smile. “Love you,” you say.

“Love you too,” he whispers against your lips, as he guides his cock to your entrance and slips inside slowly. Your eyes fall shut and moans leave your lips as he fills you up. His arm rests against the side of your face, hand softly running over your hair while he pays attention to your expression at every thrust. It feels like a bigger stretch for some reason and you try to get used to it.

A steady rhythm forms from the movement of his hips against yours. When the stretch becomes a bit more bearable, you open your eyes and meet his beautifully dark and lustful ones. He smiles his signature smile, and you cup one side of his face, fingers smoothing over his cheek.

Jungkook leans in to your touch and kisses the palm of your hand. He brings his head down to your chest and takes your left nipple into his mouth, licking the sensitive bud. You sigh, running your hand through his hair and over the back of his head. He gives attention to your other breast with his hands, tracing circles on your skin, eliciting goosebumps over the area.

You watch him as he changes his position, moving to his knees to hook his arms under your thighs. His thrusts slow down, but he pounds harder, staying inside you for a beat then pulling back to out to slam into you again. Your eyes stick to watching the way his body moves, abs tightening as he thrusts forward. It gets harder to breathe when your breath gets stuck in your throat every time his hips slap against yours. “You okay there?” He snickers, watching your efforts.

“Shut up.” You huff but can’t help a smile. “Try not to kill me, will you?”

“Can’t help it,” he mumbles, pushing down on your thighs, watching the way his cock disappears into your folds. “It feels so good baby.” He breathes.

The way he seems to get lost in the feeling and just watching his hips move fluidly against yours causes a soft whine to escape you. You’ve never went without protection before and it’s definitely doing it for him from the way he can barely keep himself from letting out low moans.

Jungkook pushes against you with your legs resting against his shoulders. The way your body folds allows him to get deeper inside. He grunts with every thrust, leaning his weight against his forearms resting on your side. Thrusts get faster and his breathing gets ragged as he watches your face twist from underneath, the heaving of your chest at every breath and the way your breasts bounce with every thrust. You’re sweaty and whiny, eyes falling shut as you hold on to his arms for support.

He takes in a sharp breath, abruptly shooting back up to his knees and slips out of you, “Oh baby, I’m coming.” The low voice he speaks in has you clenching. He squeezes his cock, letting the cum drip down onto your cunt as he milks every last drop. Eyes still shut, you take this chance to catch your breath and when you open them, you see him breathing heavily as he rubs the tip of his still hard cock against your folds, spreading his seed all over.

“Already?” You giggle, breathless. It’s probably a good thing, you think, knowing how he can maintain his erection even after coming twice on his good days. Good for him, but bad for you. The one time he came three times in one night, you almost fell into a coma after trying to keep up with him.

He chuckles, amused himself. "I got too excited." He lets his cock rub against your clit and supports himself with a hand on the side of your head, allowing his other hand to cup your face when he goes in for a kiss.

You push against his body, motioning for a switch in positions. He rolls onto his back and takes you with him, arm around your waist. Sweet smile on your face, you kiss him as you position your entrance for him to slip his cock inside you again. You moan into the kiss when he does, almost dropping your body on him but he keeps you steady with strong arms on your waist.

“Ah…” You bite your lips as your hips grind against his, trying to find the right angle. Your voice trembles when he guides your hips with his hands, getting you to move faster. They move up your body once you get the hang of it, cupping your breasts and teasing your nipples in circles. Your incessant soft whines continue, and Jungkook can’t help bucking his hips into you. His hips move in a gentle wave, meeting you halfway and you bite your lip as you keep yourself steady, pushing on his chest.

“By the way,” you say between breaths, “I’m thinking of getting a navel piercing.”

“Really?” He traces a line from the middle of your chest to your navel. “That’s hot. Can’t wait.”

You giggle and lean back, placing your hands on his thighs and start moving your hips against him. He lets out a low moan in approval. There’s nothing hotter than watching you ride with your legs spread before him, giving him full access to your clit. In this position, his cock hits just the right spots that has you seeing stars. He starts rubbing the sensitive nub in circles and your breath hitches. His movements get faster and you start whining, feeling the buildup in your core. You push yourself back up when it gets too much, placing a hand on his to stop him. “I’m close,” you whisper, leaning in to kiss him deeply.

You reach for his hands, interlacing your fingers together as you continue to ride him. He stays still, watching as you ride to chase your release. Your body tenses up and whines get softer. You start to bounce on his cock, crying out as you slam yourself back down against him. Your movements get faster and sloppier as you reach for the release. Jungkook grabs your hips and starts thrusting up into you. Your eyes fall shut as you feel yourself coming undone. “Fuck I’m coming,” you breathe out as Jungkook continues thrusting into you until your body convulses above him, thighs squeezing against his sides. He slows down then, letting you ride it out.

You drop against him as you come down from your high and he holds your body close against his. It’s warm and you’re spent, thighs aching. He kisses the side of your head and lets you rest against him in that position until you catch your breath.

He then switches your positions again, this time turning you over on your front. He heaves your bottom half up on your knees and you complain, body feeling heavy. You keep your head rested against the sheets as he rubs gentle strokes on your ass, having an oddly calming effect on you. The tip of his cock rubs against your folds and teases your entrance before he slips inside you. He lets out a low moan and spreads your ass cheeks as he watches his cock slide in. “Damn it, Y/N.” He mutters. “Is it me or does it feel like...”

“Tighter? I know, I feel it too.” You mumble against the bed. “Are you taking penis enlargement pills? Be honest.”

He snorts, pulling out slowly then slamming your hips back. You groan. “You really think I need those?”

You moan into the sheets, grabbing them for support. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s the pilates classes Hana forces me to go to.”

“Remind me to thank her for that.” Jungkook leans forwards and grabs your hair in his fist, forcing you to support yourself on your arms. He goes slow at first to allow you to get used to it. But as soon as he hears soft whimpers from you, he starts ramming into you mercilessly without warning, earning cries of pleasure. He gets lost in watching the way your ass bounces against him after every thrust and how you moan every time he pulls on your hair a little harder, making you arch your back even more.

“Oh my god, it feels so good.” You groan. He leans over your shoulder and kisses your ear.

“You like that?” He whispers, sending shivers down your neck.

“Yeah.” You say shakily. “Just like that⎯ fuck⎯ oh fuck.”

“You’re so greedy.” He breathes against your neck. “You just came a few minutes ago.”

“So did you,” you huff. “I can’t help it if the dick’s so good.” You turn your head towards him and chuckle, biting his bottom lip. Jungkook’s too far gone to make jokes from the look in his eyes. He tugs harder on your hair and expression turns serious. You stare up at him with your mouth parted, breathing hard. “Fuck me harder.”

“Fuck.” He holds you in his arms and moves back on his knees, so your back rests against his chest. Even though you asked for it, you weren’t ready for the way he hammers into you without missing a beat. Your whines encourage him further, and he wraps an arm over your shoulder to keep you close, so he can watch your face twist in pleasure. His other hand roams your body, giving attention to your chest, then sliding down to your clit, rubbing against it ruthlessly. You can hardly breathe, trying to focus on so many things at once. He moans in your ear, then places kisses against your neck and shoulders. “My baby’s such a good girl.” He whispers.

You whimper, feeling an aching feeling in your chest. With one hand on his ass to support yourself and the other on the side of his face, you turn to him. “Don’t pull out.” you say in a whisper, turning to him. He stares at you with fire in his eyes. Something flashes in them and they seem to get darker with lust. “Cum inside me, Jungkook.”

Your body starts to shake from the oncoming release but you hold it back. Jungkook goes harder, and sounds of skin slapping echoes in the room. His hand sinks into the flesh of your waist and his hot, ragged breathing brushes against your ear. “Baby,” he purrs, nuzzling into your neck. “I’m gonna cum.”

The feeling in your core gets tighter and you feel his grip on your hand getting harder, letting you know he’s close. He grabs your face just then, turning it to face him. Sweat drops down the side of his temple and his hair is a mess. He clenches down on his jaw so hard you see the dimple that forms. “I love you.” He says and you tear up from the physical and emotional stimulation. His thrusts start to get messy.

“I love you too.” You reply, kissing him.

His fingers rub your clit relentlessly and you shut your eyes at the oncoming wave of orgasm. With one final hard thrust, a guttural noise escapes Jungkook and you both come undone, crying out when the buildup inside you snaps. Jungkook breathes deep and hard, moaning against your back as his hips buck into you, releasing his seed inside of you. You feel his warm release as he drops forward, putting his weight on you, and you meet with the sheets again, with Jungkook still riding his release on your back, hips thrusting weakly.

Only the sounds of ragged breathing can be heard throughout the room. Jungkook removes himself from your back, sitting on his knees. He helps you flip over to your back and you do so reluctantly, mustering whatever energy you have left. Noticing how he licks his lips at the sight of the mess between your spread legs, you squeeze your thighs together.

The pillow you reach for gets taken away from you and you pout at Jungkook. He laughs, then scans his eyes over your body, all sweaty and warm and then his eyes land on the necklace around your neck. He traces it lightly and you watch him from where you lay. Hovering above you, he wipes away the strands of hair sticking to your face. “Just curious, why made you change your mind about the condom?”

You shrug, “Well, I’m on the pill. And I know you’re clean.” Feeling embarrassed all of a sudden, you start picking at your nails. “I don’t know, I just wanted to feel closer to you.”

He smiles warmly, leaning down to kiss you. Taking the spot next to you, he pulls you in close, faces are just an inch apart. “How did I get so lucky?” He says, staring you in the eyes. “Not about the condom thing but just with you, in general.”

“I’m the lucky one.” You smile and kiss his forehead, pushing back his hair with your fingers. “I love you so much.”

“Love you more.” He whispers, eyes shutting close at the way you gently stroke his head. “I never want to lose you.”

“Hate to break it to you but, you’re stuck with me forever.”

“I can live with that.” He laughs, and lets out a satisfied hum.

With a sigh, you push yourself off the bed and head for the bathroom, legs feeling like lead. The sticky feeling between your thighs makes it worse. You realise Jungkook trailing after you from the reflection in the mirror and you turn, pressing a hand to his chest, “Where are you going?”

“In there. With you.” He says simply.

“I’m just gonna pee and wash up. Then go to sleep for the next three days.”

He laughs and holds you close, hands on your ass. “The night has just begun, darling”

“Jungkook, when I said you’re stuck with me forever, I didn’t mean it literally.” You look up at him with innocent eyes. “Also, you’ve done more than enough tonight, and haven’t I said you’re already forgiven?”

“Yeah but,” he swoops down and throws you over his shoulder, landing a hard slap on your ass. “I didn’t say I’ve forgiven you for blue-balling me. I’m not done with you just yet, my love.”

#kwritersworldnet #networkbangtan #jungkook scenario #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #jungkook fics #bts scenario #rainworks #rough edges

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casually-inlove · 5 years

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aah i agree im vry disappointed in this chapter ! like its good like usual, but its kind of a let down after the last 5 chapters... ht rly exposed himself minutes before, and comedy aside, MGS answered him by ignoring him, and then saying "were not friends, were not as close as you think we are". it must have been hurtful for HT, its basically a rejection of recognizing HT vulnerabilities. and its totally In character for MGS to say this, so im not disappointed by it 1/?

i mean HT lay his heart down for Mo to see and theyve known each other for 15 DAYS, its too soon for anybody and especially for Mo who have mistrust problems to respond in the same way ? so running away and deflecting the declaration is cool, i wasnt excepting a "ill never abandon u!!" lol. but then HT being cool with this rejection and having a slapstick comedy just after doesnt feel right. mb show HT swallowing and being disheartened, and then put his usual facade and only then have comedy 2/?

would have been good, bc we would have known "oh ht is actually hurt by MGS reaction but doesnt know how to say it, so he plays it cool and change the subject bc hes still not at ease with being vulnerable". a realistic situation would have been "ht tried to be vulnerable but it was too soon, too much for mo who rejected him, so it confirmed ht biased thinking that showing vulnerabilities is bad and it will prevent ht to be vulnerable in front of someone in the near future". 3/?

i mean it could have been a nice although sad conclusion for this mini-arc, especially since ht have been grieving (?) his mother just this morning. a little step back, and then smth else happen and cause ht to crack completely but then mo is able to respond present and its a step forward. ok im daydreaming but that would have been climatic lol. instead this..ah i dont know i feel cheated, i know its ox' work but still haha ! like when they do an abrupt change of scene after an emotional page 4/

its a trick ox use often and after 300 chapters it feels old n cheap. when u engage in a emotional scene, u cant just do "oops i change my mind!!" and put slapstick comedy or ignore totally what just happened and dont have a progression. u have to stay on this road : u cant put traumatizing backgrounds and mafia affairs and mature problems (kidnapping, mother being threatening into prostitution,etc) n just.. not stick with it and making ur characters not traumatized by it and just 'lol comedy'.

sry im kind of monopolizing ur askbox lol, i guess im kind of frustrated ! it just the last chapters were so good and it was a while since ox use this cheap trick of not going through an emotional scene that i kind of forgot how terrible they were at handling transition between drama and comedy. theyre a good artist all in all (or i wouldnt be this disappointed!!), but they have this failing in their writing an it drives me nuts each time lmao. haa i hope next chapter will be better...5/5

Hell yeah, DEFINITELY, that sums up my thoughts. Also, you don't have to apologize, it was an interesting read and I can tell that you feel strongly about it. While I can’t say that I’m flat-out disappointed, as I wrote in my original post, I’m definitely feeling lukewarm and indifferent about the recent ch.

OX touched upon a few serious matters a couple of chapters before: namely She Li’s fucked up goading and the way it unsettled He Tian -- unsettled in no joking manner as follows from his reaction. Then we get He Tian swearing to beat up anyone who dares bully Mo, and the whole profound monologue from the previous chapter. Just as you say, He Tian truly laid himself bare there. One could argue that He Tian listed the reasons he was enamoured with Mo, or one could argue that he subtly commented on the milieu he grew up in, or one can even read it as He Tian admitting/reflecting on his flaws out loud. There are many ways to construe this scene, each of them is extremely meaningful. Not to mention it took HT visible effort to say these things out loud.

The problem which both you and I noticed is that OX left this mini-arc/mini-subplot unresolved. Instead, they abruptly switched to comedic relief. Much like you, I wasn’t expecting a big reaction from Mo -- no grand verbal declarations at very least. What I expected was a panel (maybe a close up of Mo’s face as I mentioned in my original post) that indicated he actually HEARD what HT told him, that it gave Mo some food for thought.

As you mention, Mo getting disconcerted and doing the tsun-tsun escape is fairly in character for him. Still, a panel like this would have been very welcome to emphasize his confusion and to justify him not gracing the other boy with an answer, ignoring HT showing his underbelly (which is something that doesn't come easy for him, as we readers know). Okay, sure, OX handled it differently this chapter -- we get Mo silently running away and blurting out the first comeback he could think of. No problem. It works to show that HT’s words had an effect on him, albeit it’s much less pronounced, than, say, the Aquarium scene -- again one would have to wonder why: HT’s “don’t abandon me” is just as strong, if not stronger, than “I’m afraid you’ll forget me”, so it follows that Mo should have been just as affected.

The problem is the way an emotionally charged moment quickly fizzled out into comedy. As you said, Mo blurting out “we are not friends, we are not familiar enough, so I don’t care what you think (of me)!” SHOULD have hit HT harder. Just minutes before we had HT being genuinely disturbed by the idea of someone looking to intentionally hurt Mo, seeking physical comfort, being disquieted by the idea of getting abandoned and losing someone he likes, confessing that he admires the other boy -- yet when Mo utters yet another curt rejection of sorts, we are not shown HT’s reaction, which, logically, should have been there.

And all of that emotional build-up is cheapened by an accidental dick slap comedy.

Indeed, showing HT being hurt (disquieted? deflated?) and then putting on a cool guy mask, and ONLY then switching to a slapstick humour would have been more appropriate. It wouldn’t have taken a big or an overly dramatic scene either -- just, IDK, show HT’s eyes widening, or his throat clicking, or his posture slumping, anything to indicate that Mo’s words affected him -- that the whole thing mattered to him. Otherwise, it leaves a bad taste in one’s mouth: “so Imma confess to the person I like and swear to protect them and beg them to put up with me -- oh! forget anything serious that I said, Imma touch some dick now”. While I don't have an issue with comedy coming into focus again, I do wish it hadn't been this abrupt. Had there been a better transition between these scenes, there wouldn't be this "lol jk" vibe that I’m getting.

So yeah, I, too, feel a little cheated. OX certainly has an issue with drama-comedy transitions, which are sort of hit-and-miss for me. Sometimes they work well to alleviate the grave mood, other times they appear to be out of place. The recent chapter is the latter case. Dangling a possibility of climatic resolution for the subplot and then intentionally subverting it just doesn’t work in favour of the plot here. It cheapened the emotional part and made the comedy feel much less fun for me. Of course, no one says that writing is an easy task. Plenty of mangakas, for instance, work with writers to strengthen their script and plots, so it’s challenging when a single person is responsible for both drawing and planning the story. OX is undoubtedly doing a tremendous job. Still, I wish they wouldn’t stick to using the old trick this monastically because it's becoming a trite writing device and works against them on occasion. It’s totally fine to keep the comic light-hearted yet it’s not good to ignore the needed dramatic development.

#19 days #long post #anonymous #ask #q&a time

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wrong--lever · 6 years

Text

Your Thoughts for OW’s Lore At Blizzcon

**Edit - would help to tag you hurr durr @freckledmccree

I like how you will indulge in detailed speculation and interpretation of OW lore and don’t center all ideas around one specific (noncanon) idea but will admit occasional personal bias. I also really appreciate that you steer relatively clear from fanon and when people respond to your writings you don’t have an attitude or seemingly disregard them. Sooo, that’s why I wrote this disgustingly long thing even tho I’m paranoid about being annoying.

(Apology beforehand if you have answered any of these before, I have not properly stalked your blog yet. Also, excuse my rambling I did my best to be coherent. Lastly, I only have one friend who is kinda into OW and I feel bad to bother them 24/7 so I talk a lot in this.)

McCree Speculation

The following assumes that the new cinematic will be McCree’s.

If there is another known character in the short along with McCree, excluding flashbacks, who do you think it would be?

I have 3-4 ideas even though I would not say they are likely. And with any of these I don't imagine a role any larger than Brig's in Honor and Glory or even Zarya in Infiltration.

A.) Genji. I don't think it's likely but I wouldn't be surprised. It also might be risky on Blizzard's part because many are salty about Genji's abundance of lore compared to others. (Which is dumb and I would gladly rant on it but it's not the point) Reasons:

Notable increase of McCree's interactions w/him.

McCree might've left OW in a less professional fashion than others. Which would mean he may not have anything to be alerted by for the recall. Especially since he went underground for a while. Winston’s contact info? Long since changed.

From how I interpret “Dragons” it seems that Genji has received the call as well as offered Hanzo a choice to go w/him “The world is changing once again, Hanzo. And it's time to pick a side.” So why not others?

Genji has also been canonically in touch w/at least one other ex OW member. So why not try to get in touch with another member that we know he directly worked with?

My logic - Why would their interactions matter?

McCree's asking about how Genji dealt with the loss of his body emotionally/physically as well as Genji's response leaves room for the implication that Genji knows how he lost his arm.

Why would Genji go in person?

Well, I mean you probably don't wanna broadcast that your getting the highly illegal band back together. In which said band also is also hated by the UN and every other terrorist organization on the planet.

How will Genji know how to find him?

Cause he's a ninja, duh. But seriously McCree most likely said something before he quit OW and if not Genji would just have to look at the news and he'd be there.

B.) Sombra. If anything I wouldn't be surprised by a small reference to her rather than actually seeing her.

Reflections comic (duh)

My logic - I expect Sombra to get involved with a little bit of everything. She likes making people question their beliefs on who is “right” or “wrong”.

She would most likely know about the recall so if she wants to manipulate that at all she could be the one to tell McCree about it. Idk, she’s a wildcard with anything.

C.) Fio. The Blackwatch Pilot in Retribution. (I used “known” characters loosely) I'm not sure on my certainty with her, tbh. But I do find it rather intriguing. (I said no flashbacks but maybe with this one)

Fio's only lines that are not directly related towards the mission are all directed towards McCree.

The tone of them is clearly on the teasing/banter side of things.

My logic - Why have this side character show any interest in conversation outside of the task at hand?

If she was just being used for the game mode and as lore filler it would make more sense to have only lines relating to the mission. Or have generalized ones for the team. But she has multiple focusing on the one and only Jesse McCree.

Reasons for that could be that they ran out of time to add other interactions. Which would explain why McCree does not acknowledge her comments. (The only time he was quiet during the mission is when she talked to him, rip you got denied girl) Or it could be that they knew each other previously or trained together in some of the early days of Blackwatch.

D.) Mercy. This one I would be surprised to see but it would have some logic to it.

Losing his arm, depending on the how/when/where.

She is not one of the characters who speak to him about his arm.

My logic - Who fixed his arm up for him?

Depending on how/when/where he lost his arm he may have shyed away from public hospitals. Especially with Talon seemingly controlling so much of the press. So he may of wanted someone he personally trusted as well as doctor patient confidentiality.

Why does Mercy of all people not ask about the prosthetic?

Out of the people who question McCree Mercy isn't one of them. Which may seem odd since she has known him for so long and her being a doctor. However, she does call out his smoking. So this proves she does pay attention to his over all health. (Which I am aware is a much older interaction) But it would have been a good opportunity to have her inquire about the arm there if she doesn't already know.

Do you think McCree will directly receive the recall or from some other source?

What do you think of the fact that McCree lost his left arm specifically?

If the loss of McCree's arm is related to the Deadlock Gang do you speculate that it was intentionally the arm that had his tattoo on it? With how far McCree got in his career/life with OW and potentially spilling info on the gang when caught some people might want him to hurt. Not just die. To me forcefully sawing off the branding of the gang he betrayed would fit the bill. As well as be a good warning for others. (Not that blizzard would show that)

How do you imagine the camaraderie within Deadlock to be?

I ask this since in “Hero” right before the Los Muertos member throws the grenade it shows him actively choosing to help the other gang members (very broken gang members thanks to Soldier 76)onto the back of the truck instead of getting out ASAP.

I just found that to be notable in how their social structure works. It makes more sense for Los Muertos specifically since they originally wanted to stand up against the politics and speak out for the people still suffering from the Omnic Crisis. They are not formed from the shady work they do.

Deadlock, however, doesn't seem to represent a core ideology. So I wouldn't be surprised if when OW caught some of them the others ran. Especially since McCree would probably still be pretty low in the pecking order at the time.

Can you imagine a shoot out in the warehouse tho, that'd be so risky people could be anywhere and there's no good line of sight except for where the truck drives through. Sneaky teen McCree climbing around and ish

Do you expect/hope for the origin on any mementos to be revealed?

My only idea is his iconic BAMF belt buckle. We know he's had it for quite a while since he wears it here:

Just thought Blizzard could do something cute with it if they wanted.

Do you have any thoughts on the Deadlock Torb skin?

Idk, this is kinda silly but people have talked about it. People do have a good point that it’s odd for him to have that skin.

Lastly, do you have any little head canons that you hope to see confirmed?

Nothing serious just simple personal hopes from the cinematic which may or may not set you up for disappointment cause fun

(When I first started writing this I had two questions, rip. I'm pretty sure I forgot one of the original questions too)

Other Blizzcon Lore Speculation

Do you have any ideas for the new hero?

Personally, I do not have any super strong theories but I do have a few loose ideas. Tbh, I can’t especially convince myself of any these besides the likelihood of said character being a tank.

A.) Talon Tank

Reasons:

Moira’s origin story contains two possible indicators towards this, or another Talon member in general.

We need another main tank added to the roster (opinion)

Talon has a character for every role except tanking (weak)

Popular request (weak)

My Logic lacking- Majority of this idea comes from Moira’s origin story which shows this relatively well known photo with a person or armored suit of some kind on the back panel here:

I used to think of this to be much harder evidence than I do now since it looks like it could be a uncolored design used for the Talon members in Retribution. However, there’s another detail in the photo (including the version with the different back panel that I believe could point to another member. Each character, excluding Moira, has their line of sight going to the same spot. My doodles for emphasis:

(Reaper is kind of hard to tell but that’s basically his entire role in Talon at this point, lol) Who are they all looking at? This could just be an artistic choice for viewer immersion but it also could be rather purposeful. To me, it looks like a proposition to someone, with the panel in the back for emphasis. If not a proposition, perhaps the workings of a plan or setting clear expectations for said person. (either version works for this context) This someone must be rather important to have them all there. Moira is looking back at the rest of them, seemingly reading their expressions/body language. She seems pleased but then again she’s a tad bit odd.

B.) Mystery Characters

Idek, I added this cause I could. This is not likely at all but will remain on the list of possibilities as long as Overwatch shall live.

Have been shown or spoken of very early on but nothing since

Recently mentioned names but no physical hints of who/what they are

Tying up some long held questions (weak)

Popular demand (weak)

My logic (or lack there of) - I have exactly one tiny speck of logic for this. Mystery characters shown and/or spoken of before the cancellation of the First Strike comic are still occasionally brought up to the OW team. Yet they have conveniently not retconned them. Why not say they are no longer a significant part of the story when there has been no updates on them for 2ish years? Maybe they are just keeping the possibility open. Liao and the two from Ana’s origin story are the best (only?) examples:

There is also more recently mentioned characters such as Ray and Fio. Ray was discussed mostly early this year and all we know about them is the following:

We do not know anything else about who or what Ray is. I do not 100% believe Ray is an actual person but you never know. The comment on the beard and his response to has Ray’s combat experience could be some teasing on Michael Chu’s part. To me, Ray is either a person, an omnic, or some sort of computer system used in the Orca. I should note that another AI other than Athena would seem odd especially with the whole reason OW formed and all.

(Fio I have already discussed but at least we know she’s an actual person, hopefully...OW is weird man)

What do you think of the common theory of Sanjay Korpal being the next hero?

Personally, I think he lacks the look of an OW character. He looks rather plain to me, almost like a background character used to fill up comic space. I do believe his role is going to grow substantially in the lore but as an in game hero? Eh, I don’t know. Another thing I struggle with imagining is him being a tank like a lot of people presume. It would be interesting with what Vishkar can do with hard light technology to have a tank based on that, I will admit. Just don’t see him filling the role of that, he doesn’t strike me as someone who wants to get his hands dirty. I will admit, that this is very strictly my opinion and read of his character and by no means is anything to go off of speculation wise.

But, if I’m wrong, then next years first cinematic should definitely be a Symmetra/Lucio one and it should definitely have Symmetra kiCKING HIS ASS FOR MANIPUlATING HER foR GOD KNOWs hOW LONG..ahem.

Do you think a comic will be released soon?

They usually put out comics on Wednesdays but they have been odd this year when it comes to them. Idk, if they’ll announce one at Blizzcon. I kinda doubt it. Personally, I’m hoping for a really kick ass Christmas comic since in Reflections it ended with Winston saying he has a good feeling for “next year” (OW’s next year cause timeline) plus last year’s was cute but underwhelming.

I think that’s all I have to ask/discuss for now? I had ideas keep popping up but I kept going back over what I already wrote and my attention span is all or nothing soooo there goes my ideas into the void.

***Random ass question cause you like RDR2. I keep getting a gamestop ad for it and it’s bugging me cause I can’t make out what this guy is saying. It sounds like “I don’t want to kill all you smooth dutch. Just you.” Idk where the exact video is rip, but I feel like I’m really mishearing the guy, lmao.

Non Sequiturs and Stupid Fangirl Squealing

(possibly completely incoherent warning idk how to wenglish when im excited pls ignore mw)

I saw a comic aart thing once and it had young jesse punch Jack in the face and Reyes thought it was the funniest thing and I feel like that’s in character

What if Reyes had a few choices on who to recruit and he was like I want the cowboy chose the instead of the trained older guys. Ana would be like Reyes no and Reyes would be like I want the damn cowboy

I never realised how much I appreciate McCree’s character until the hints of him having a short started popping up. Before I liked him sure, I just never thought too deep into how they could expand on his character. Originally I was just like, “so Reyes picked this kid out of a big ass gang and had him trained among the world’s most renowned soldiers and he still is perfectly content being a cowboy?” Good for you my dudely man, good for you,

wanna see skinny (lean) young McCree but everyone will want the skin but it wont look the same with his in game model so blegh

I agree with you on how you think reyes recruited him, so many people think he just yeeted jesse at a bunch of angry omnics and was like lol have a cowboy

Imagine McCree being so confused by the weird ass original OW team like y there captain america, my new found father, a dwarf (swede) and an 8 ft german happy meal

He’d be so intimidated by Ana I bench lift Reinhardt for fun Amari being his coach like asdfsdf

But I think with her training it’d be the first real time he let his guard down without him realizing it because he was so in awe of her sniping skills and being able to get taught by her, bonding over shooting people half a continent away yAY

What if we see lil pharah??? I’ll die???

Okay I’ve said this to another blog but even tho McCree is not my “type” I’m still gonna need to strap my ovaries in place for this short, cause booooooooyyyyyyyyy (I dont even have a type but I guess I mean a lil scruffy?)

#overwatch #jesse mccree #lore speculation #blizzcon #long ass post #i started this in your ask box on thursday afternoon and now it's 1:40 am on saturday #sorry if there are mistakes i tried to clean this up as best i could #freckled mccree

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misha-has-a-wormstache · 5 years

Text

A Bit About Me

I wrote a post over the summer basically telling my story, but I’ve made a lot of friends on here and felt I should share a few of these things again and a bit more (I also can’t find the original post lol).

I’m a bastard child, which is the term used for a child born to parents who aren’t married. They didn’t get married for a bit, but their marriage didn’t last long. Before I went to Kindergarten they got a divorce and my biological mother moved to another state. Not long after my dad met my step-mother.

We moved a lot as well, so it’s surprising to me if I stay in a house for more than three years. Each time I lost the friends I made. There was a point where I kept the ‘friends’ at school but left the ones around the house. I could hardly call them friends since I only saw one of them outside of school.

During the time, I was starting to question my sexuality without really knowing what was going on.

I left that school in 5th grade and moved to another town where I stayed there for maybe three or four years. I immediately became very close friends with my neighbor and throughout the years they stayed my best friend. They were the kind of friend where we were basically inseparable and I stuck by them during the two or three days they were home with pneumonia. We weren’t blood-related, but we were family. They helped introduce me to more people who became my friends.

It wasn’t until I met my friend, who now goes by they/them, that I learned about gender identity. I’m not sure if I would have known if it weren’t for them and I wouldn’t have understood for myself what I am.

Unfortunately, at the same time, I was being almost non-stop teased and bullied at school. At first it was because I was the new kid and was easy prey. Then it was because of how sensitive I am and they would intentionally upset me to get a reaction. It started small until it escalated at the end of middle school. I was being forced to move to a neighboring state and leave all and any friends I made there. Whenever they got the chance they would ask me out as a joke, to which I would always refuse. When I was asked why I always said no and that I would never date them, I simply told them that I just didn’t like any of the guys at the school. In my defense, almost every guy in that school was a complete jerk. After saying that they joked about me being gay (I hadn’t come out yet and hadn’t yet identified as a male(had no clue how to word that)). It quickly escalated though and got to the point where they were pressuring me into using the scissors we had in class to play the knife game and it wasn’t until a week or two before classes were switched that I had enough and was at the point of snapping. The last class I had in that class was the one after I had accidentally broke one of the pully systems and they were telling me to slit my wrists and drink bleach.

They took me out of class immediately and let me stay in a spare room during those periods. I had one friend who would skip their chorus class in order to stay with me during those days. I still talk to them to this day.

It was extremely difficult for me to talk to people after moving, but because of my lack of liking nice clothes, I had made a friend the first day. Because of the shirt I was wearing. Slowly I was introduced to new people. I had met my ‘boyfriend’ because I refused to move from a table when he sat down (unlike the others). It was one of my friends that helped get us together. I met my first girlfriend through another friend. I had met my second girlfriend in gym class because we were both incredibly lazy people who didn’t want to actually do anything. I met two of my younger friends through gym class as well.

I had mentioned a ‘boyfriend’. I put it in quotes because we dated for two months before he broke up with me. Over the summer last year he took me to an amusement park and even helped me through my regression when I had regressed (without meaning to, it might have been the stuffed animals, rides, ice cream and characters walking around that helped though lol). That night he and I were waiting for the rest of his family while in the car. I was either sitting in silence or listening to music while hugging the stuffed Charazard I stole from him. During that time he had told me that he had never actually liked me the way that I liked him. My heart felt shattered and I refused to let anybody touch me the entire time. I just sat there hugging the stuffy close and trying to appear big.

My first girlfriend and I are still friends now (and she’s one of the few who aren’t contributing to my depression at the moment). We were together for about a month before we broke up (She later disclosed she realized she was straight after being with me. Not sure how to feel about that). We had broken up though because her family is extremely religious and threatened to hurt me if we continued to date.

My second girlfriend and I have been together on and off three times. She knows about my regression and has told me herself that she is completely fine with it. Nothing between us had gone wrong but we’re both extremely depressed.

It was because of that boyfriend mentioned above that I had learned about cglre again (I had known about it before but I had almost completely forgot). My friends have been pretty accepting about it overall, but I still have trouble talking about it to people. One of my friends even helped me be smol in class without anybody knowing. She’d make me feel safe about it and sometimes (and still does occasionally if she sees I’m super stressed) would feed me the candy that I keep in my bag (my pockets and bag have been nicknamed the black holes because there’s always food of some sort and there was even a point in English where I had pulled a full art set out of my stuffed bag). A couple times during lunch she would hold the (disgusting) juice for me as I drank from the straw.

Because of my friends’ support I was confident enough to be open to my parents about it. Huge mistake. At one point they had asked me to meet them in the living room for a meeting to ‘talk’. It was less talking and more them yelling at me to act my age. I still worry about someone barging into my bedroom and catching me while regressed. The idea terrifies me to the point where if I feel Little in the slightest I will hide in my room (if possible) or just stay silent. The only adult here that I know that at all listened to me about it and understood it was a therapist I stopped seeing.

I’ve been too stressed to regress lately anyways. I constantly have been in a state of depression or feeling numb. The few things keeping me afloat right now are becoming fewer because each time I do anything I somehow end up messing something up. I went to the kitchen for a bottle of water last night and when by the time I was back in my room I was being told not to ask for anything for Christmas. I hadn’t done anything other than be told how disgusting I am (which if I am it’s because I’ve lost any motivation to do anything other than lay here and sleep and haven’t been able to force myself into completing everyday tasks).

Usually I felt that I could talk to my friends about feeling this way, but not a single person here has actually listened to me. The majority of the time I can only get out a few words before the person I’m talking to stops listening, interrupts me, or starts another conversation with another person. Talking to family is a one-way street that ends in the situation becoming worse and them telling me that I have no reason to be depressed or that I should start doing the things that I need to do so that they have no reason to give me shit about anything.

(I was told that talking about this, even if it’s just a Tumblr post, that this might help. The therapist I had mentioned is the one who told me this. But at the same time, I feel like it’d be something good to talk about. Idk)

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earthghoul-mp4 · 4 years

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Idk what am doing(Also Trigger warning !!Abuse, Self-harm mentions, Drug use and Self starvation!!)

Alright so context: These characters are the Alternate versions of two other characters which is why there reffered to as “Alter Siri, Alter Subaru, Alter Kou, Alter Rina, Alter Melon’ and ‘Alter Akai” Subaru, Kou and Melon are all vampires in theyre universe and all of the (except Alter Siri) are part of the Crimson rose’s mafia (I didnt come up with most of this stuff, This happened a while back when I had discord) Alter M(Melon) has been shown to have a crush on Alter R(Rina), Alter S and K(Subaru and Kou) are dating. No one really knows about Alter Siri. Alter A(Akai), Is a dick-head brother. He and Alter M are twins with her being the younger of the two. Alter A has always been abusive, physically and mentally. So Alter M’s trust issues and low esteem, stem from him. Alter M and Alter S, intentionally chose, not to bite Alter R or Alter K. (Even though both have been very adamant about them doing so-) Alter R is in fact a Demon- (Not really sure what kind though-) UHM- Oh yeah, Alter M and Alter A’s parents were murdered when they were very young and Alter A was thought to be dead as well. (WHICH HE WASNT) Alter R’s mother was killed by Alter R’s hand and Alter R’s sister also died. Alter S and Alter K have been trying to set up Alter M and Alter R because its painfully obvious they like each other. THE MAIN THINGS TO REMEMBER: Alter A is a dick, Alter M is SUPPOSED to feed off Alter R but refuses to do so, Alter S and Alter K are the chaotic duo of the four, and Alter Siri stays out of their bullshit at all costs. Alter M and Alter K both have ADHD

Alter R lay awake on her bed staring up the ceiling. The storm outside was making it pretty hard to sleep, so there wasn’t any point in trying. There was a quiet knock on her door and Alter R looks up to see Alter M standing half-asleep in the doorway. “Cant sleep either, huh?” Alter M shook her head and walked over to Alter R. “Storms are always so pretty but they make too much noise..” Alter M whines as she flops onto Alter R’s bed. “Sounds like you-” Alter R realized how that sounded, but apparently Alter M didn’t. “Nuh uh, I dont make nearly as much noise as Kou-chan, and Baru-chan” Alter R laughed a bit “I’ve always found that family dynamic you three have very interesting.” Alter M sits up “Whats that s’posed to mean?” Alter R smiled “It just means that you three never cease to confuse me, Especially you” Alter M folds her arms across her chest “What’s that supposed to mean?!” Alter R sighs “I just mean, Ive never understood you, Or any of you for that matter. I’m not good with people, and probably never will be” The storm outside seeed to die down some to the point where it was just rain and Alter M smiles. “What’s got you all smiley?” Alter M’s hands ball up into fists and shake a little “Hehe! The rain! Do you hear it?” The gentle pitter-patter of the rain on the roof had Alter M’s brain go nuts, and Alter R found it adorable “Yeah, I do. It is a nice sound, huh?” Alter M smiled widely and nodded happily. Alter R laughed “You find the strangest things amazing, Alter M” Alter M drew her face into an angry pout “Nuh-uh I dont.” Alter R looked at her skeptically “How many people do you know can go from crying to almost perfectly fine when given a frog plush?” Alter M didnt respond “Thats not fair! Buttons is the best comfort plushie!” Alter R laughed. Alter flopped backwards onto Alter R bed and turned over to face the wall. “Aw c’mon-” Alter shook her head “Nu!” Alter R took a minute to decide what to do. “Hmm...Hehe...” Alter R decided to pick up Alter M. It wasnt hard with how small Alter M is. “Put me dooown, meanie” Alter R sat Alter M in her lap “Better?” Alter M was not prepared for that “HHHHHH-” Alter R was kinda oblivious to Alter M’s crush on her since she felt like she didnt deserve to be loved so she hid her feelings for Alter M, and hoped they’d just go away. Alter M hid her face in the collar of her sweater “Thats not fair...” Alter R laughed a little “How?” Alter M turned away “Cuz!” “Pfft- “cuz” how?” Alter M flapped her arms quickly “Cuz because!” Alter R realized how tired Alter M looked “Hey...When’s the last time you slept?” Alter M didnt respond “Alter M...” Alter M shrugged “I dunno...two..three days ago?” Alter R sighed “Its not my fault! Trying to sleep is hard” Alter R knew how that was. There were countless nights where she couldn’t sleep at all even if she tried. “When’s the ast time you had any water?” Alter M drew a black once again “Alter M!” Alter pulled her collar further over her face “I’m sorry!” Alter R sighs “Stay here, alright?” Alter M nodded. Alter R got up and walked down to the kitchen. “I shouldn’t be so hard on her, Its not her fault...But she’ll keep doing if someone doesn’t tell her other wise” Alter R sweared under her breath and folded her arms on the counter “Ri-chan...?” Alter R forgot Subarus and Kou’s room was down the hall from the kitchen “Hey Subaru..” Alter S walked over to her “You okay?” Alter R nodded “Yeah I’m fine, its super early though. You should get back to sleep.” Alter S just looked at her. “Yo hear yourself right? I should sleep? Whens the last time you had a full 8 hours of sleep, huh?” There wasnt an answer “Thats what I thought. Now what been keeping you up at night? Somethings bound to be wrong if you’re the one distraught” Alter R walked over to the fridge to get some waters “No ones distraught, alright?” Alter S knew better than that. “Then why is it that every night this week, without fail, You’ve been up in the middle of the night....For what?” Alter clenched her fist around one of the waters “For the last time...Its nothing!” Alter S let it go this time. “Just take of yourself, alright?” Alter R nodded and headed back upstairs. Alter S sighed and got a cup of ramen “She’s the one who worries me...She stretches herself thin for everyone else and just acts like she’s fine. I just wish she didnt keep everything bottled up. Both of them! Her and Mel-chan”

Alter M had fallen asleep on the end of Alter R’s bed “I didn’t tell her she had to stay awake..” Alter R picked up her phone to check the time “Damn...Its already three- thirty..” Alter R threw one her extra blankets over Alter M. Alter just curled up underneath of it, “pfft- That’s not how you use a blanket” Alter M picked up her head “Hm...?” Alter M sat up sleepily and looked at her. “Nothing, Nothing. I didnt say anything” Alter M hugged Alter R “Oh- ok...?” Alter R was never really one for physical affection, shes only ever really let Alter M hug her, any physical contact really. “Hey...You can let go now..” Alter M only hugged her tighter and Alter R realized she had fallen asleep. “Ah...Jeez...” Alter R was too tired at this point to care, so she just laid own with Alter M still hugging her. Around seven or so Kou came around to check on Alter R since she’s usually up by then. “Awww!” Alter R had held onto Alter M the whole night. Its not uncommon for Alter M to e hugging something especially when she’s asleep. Its more uncommon to see Alter R hugging anyone for long periods of time. “I dont think either of them have actually, slept, in a while” Kou walked off leaving Alter R and Alter M to sleep. Kou went to go get Subaru who had ultimately fallen alseep on the couch “Oiiii! Subaru.” Subaru rolled over off the couch “AGH- Shit!” Kou kicked him “SHHH- Ri-chan and Mel-chan are still sleeping” Subaru punched him “B!tch” Kou gasped dramatically “Ooo Ouch what a burn” Subaru just looked at him. Alter R stared down at them from the top of the stairs. They both knew they fucked up, Alter M appeared behind her looking half dead. “Im going back to bed...” Alter M turned on her heel and walked down to her room. “Wait yall two was in the same room???” Alter R walked down the stairs “Uhm...Yeah?” Alter S nodded “Mhm...” Alter R just gave him a confused look and went to get a coffee “And your still sure you dont have feelings for her?” Not many things can catch Rina off guard...This however, Caught her very off-guard “Yes I’m sure!” Alter S and Alter K gave her a look like “Uh huh” “Yeah well your face just about as red as your eyes” Rina threw a spoon at him “You shut your mouth!” They both started laughing and Rina just sipped her coffee “I’m gonna kill you both in your sleep...” Alter M stomped out of room “If y’all don’t shut the fuck up, I will burn all of your clothes” Everyone just looked at her “Let this be a godammned warning” Rina just kinda looked at her “Uhm- Okay then...” “Kinda saw that oe coming she’s always pissed off about something- Its just easier to piss hernoff if shes tired” Alter M threw her shoe at him “Ya damn right” Rina laughed and so did Kou “Thats not funny that hurt!” Melon went to grab a redbull but Rina stopped her. “Eh?” Rina looked her dead in the eyes and just told her “No” Melon just kinda looked at her “Fine” and went to go sit down. Rina grabbed her wrist “Subaru, Kou...Out. Now” Subaru and Kou knew something was boutta happen but when Rina said something ya best listen. Both of them left the room. “What?” Rina leaned back against the counter “....” Melon was throughly confused “What did I do??” Rina looked up from her mug “Whens the last time you ate anything?” Melon looked away “That requires an answer...” Melon refused to meet Rina’s eyes “Alter M...” Melon simply walked outside and into the woods Rina followed her but from a distance. “Maybe she just need some air...?” Melon sat down in the middle of a clearing and just stayed there

(End of part one cuz Im Lazy \(030)/)

What should happen next???

#im boreeed #vampire oc #discord #demonoc

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surveysonfleek · 6 years

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462.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 20

1901. You're real life is an rpg and you have to choose your stats. Choose your race (you can't pick whatever race you are right now): mixed Choose your alignment: huh? 1902. Now, divide ten points between these stats for yourself: Strength: 3 Charm: 3 Luck: 2 Magic: 2 1903. Now pick 2 skills for yourself: (alchemy, animal taming, blacksmithy, carpentry, cartography, healing, lock picking, music, magic) healing and lock picking. 1904. Do you and your parents like any of the same bands/singers? yeah, probably. 1905. Do you know who lives three houses down from you? nope.

1906. What chore do you absolutely hate doing? sweeping and mopping. 1907. If you could choose anyone, who would you pick as your mentor? i haven’t found the right person yet. maybe at my next job. 1908. What would you name the autobiography of your life? undecided. 1909. What do you miss most about being a kid? not having to worry about real problems. 1910. Why is there an entry for the word 'dictionary' in a dictionary? because why not? it’d be stupid to skip it. 1911. How does glue not stick to the inside of the bottle? lack of oxygen in the bottle maybe. 1912. What do you plant to grow a seedless watermelon? a seed. 1913. If you dislike your family, are you obligated to spend time with them? Show up at family functions? Help them out in their time of need? Is a family even relevant anymore – especially when you have a close circle of friends? you’re definitely not obligated. i feel as though if they’d attend your events or help you out in a time of need, you’d owe it to them to do the same. if not, fuck it. 1914. How would you live your life if you had a week to live? How would you live your life if you had 5 years left to live? How would you live your life if you were going to live forever? one week: spend every day doing something on my bucket list. five years: make goals and plan out something special to do every month. forever: i’d study as much as i could about anything and everything. 1915. Is a day spent watching movies when you could’ve been working a day wasted or well spent? it depends if i had more important things to do. 1916. Can we ever be sure that our perception of things is right – without consulting other people? If we do consult others, how are we to know whether theirs is true or if we’re both deluded? we’ll never know... 1917. Would your life be better or worse if you knew the day, time, and place that you were going to die? worse. it’s all i’d think about. 1918. What is honor? Does honor matter anymore? sure it does. 1919. Are the stories we tell ourselves about our past true, or do we bend the truth so we can create our stories? If the latter is true, than what worth is there in the stories if they aren’t true? if you don’t intentionally bend the truth, it’s still your story, it’s just how you remembered it. 1920. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life? What would that look like? i’d never sleep. 1921. How much control do you really have over your life? full control. 1922. Does your happiness depend on where you live? For example, if you owned Santa Monica Real Estate, some of the most expensive in the world, would you truly be fulfilled? not at all. life would definitely be sweeter but it doesn’t define my happiness. 1923. How much does your happiness depend on your health? haha hardly. 1924. What is more difficult for you; looking into someone's eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someone's eyes when they are telling you how they feel? maybe looking into someone’s eyes and telling them how i feel. 1925. What are 3 things that make you beautiful? mind, body, soul hahaha. jk. 1926. Have you ever sacrificed self respect for love? yeah. 1927. If you had to be stuck in a fairy tale, which one would you choose? cinderella. pretty good ending. 1928. What activities make you lose track of time? watching shows/movies and reading. 1929. Have you ever wondered why they leave blank pages at the back of the books? never wondered. 1930. If a habitual liar tells you that he is a habitual liar, will you believe him? i mean, you can’t lie 100% of the time. 1931. Would you ever be willing to move to a distant country knowing there would be little chance of seeing your current friends or family again except on trips? probably not. unless i could travel to see them very constantly. 1932. If you woke up tomorrow with no fear, what would you do first? apply for a million jobs. 1933. What was your biggest worry five years ago, do you still feel the same about it at this minute? nope. 1934. What promises have you never carried through for yourself? idk. 1935. When did you last do something for nothing in return? i forgot haha. 1936. What must you do daily to keep yourself ‘sane’ ? get enough sleep. 1937. When did you last judge someone who you didn’t know? tonight. 1938. How would you hate to be described? rude. 1939. Would you fall head over heels in love with you? haha no. 1940. What in your life exhilarates you? Do you do enough of it? traveling. and not lately. 1941. What makes you indispensable? idk. 1942. Do you follow at least 20 blogs in your field? no. 1943. When was the last time you said or wrote something someone disagreed with? i forgot. 1944. What do you bring to the world that is truly yours? my spirit. shit, idk. 1945. What one word do you want people to think when they think of you? memorable. 1946. What one image do you want people see when you cross their mind? happiness. 1947. What one feeling do you want people to feel when they think of you? happy. 1948. What one thought do you want in people’s minds about you? omg i don’t knowwww. 1949. Why are so many people depressed? idk. either mental health or they’re just not happy with their lives. 1950. When is war justifiable? hardly ever. it never turns out well, people will die. 1951. What does it mean to live in the present moment? make the most of things? 1952. What is the greatest quality humans possess? power of the mind. 1953, What is it that prevents people from living to their full potential? addictions. 1954. Are we all one? no. 1955. Are the senses meant to be starved and destroyed or given in to and relished? given in to and relished. 1956. What are some things that you wished people knew about you? nothing. 1957. What makes it so hard to break away from things or people that we care about dearly? not having them in your life. 1958. Which was an incident in your life that totally changed the way you think today? not sure. 1959. Why can only 2 people fall in love with each other, why can't 4, 5, 6 or 12 people fall in love with each other? Why just a couple and not a triple, quadruple or more? i mean, have you seen sister wives? polygamy is alive and real mate. 1960. What do you know that you really know? And how do you come to know that you know? ooookay... 1961. Why are pirates usually depicted wearing eye patches? idk. 1962. Is there someone you wish to teach a lesson, and still haven't? nope. 1963. Who do you sometimes compare yourself to? my friends. 1964. What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago? drive to work on my own. 1965. What do we all have in common besides our genes that makes us human? our ability to think. 1966. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? the way i tie my laces. 1967. If you could instill one piece of advice in a newborn baby’s mind, what advice would you give? be kind to others. 1968. Can you describe your life in a six word sentence? no. 1969. What is your most beloved childhood memory? my birthdays. 1970. What is the difference between innocence and ignorance? there’s a purity in innocence whereas none in ignorance. 1971. Would you rather lose all of your old memories or never be able to make new ones? that’s tough... not sure. half and half. 1972. What’s the difference between settling for things and accepting the way things are? settling is not striving for anything more whereas accepting the way things are is more about accepting things you cannot change. 1973. When have you worked hard and loved every minute of it? uni i guess. 1974. What have you done in the last year that makes you proud? traveled. 1975. Why do we idolize sports players? a lot of them have inspiring stories. 1976. What do you do to deliberately impress others? nothing lol. 1977. What’s the best part of growing older? learning more about life and yourself. 1978. What’s the biggest lie you once believed was true? santa. 1979. What is the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done? rocked up to a stadium during a stomry night and randomly bought ice hockey tickets. turned out to be the best seats in the house. 1980. Do you like the city or town you live in? Why or why not? it’s okay. it’s still quiet and fairly safe. 1981. What’s the best part of being you? idk. 1982. If you could have a gift certificate to have one service done for you every day for an entire year (getting your hair styled, getting a massage) what would you pick? massage for sure. 1983. Who is your mentor and what have you learned from them? no one. 1984. Would you rather your child be less attractive and extremely intelligent or extremely attractive and less intelligent? more intelligent. 1985. What is the biggest change you have made in your life in the last year? nothing as of yet. 1986. What is the biggest conscientious change you have made in your life ever? idk. 1987. When should you reveal a secret that you promised you wouldn’t reveal? if it’s a means of life or death. 1988. If you could live forever but you would be the only one, would you want to? Why? no way, how lonely. 1989. What are some recent compliments you’ve received? my makeup looks nice. 1990. What is the number one quality that makes someone a good leader? being relatable. 1991. What do you love to practice? nothing. 1992. What is something you have always wanted since you were a kid? a dog. and i got it. 1993. When in your life have you been a victim of stereotyping? all the freaking time. 1994. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? household name status i guess. 1995. Why is it that doctors and lawyers call what they do 'practice' but other professions don't? How does your profession sound when referred to as a practice? idkkk. 1996. What are 5 topics you follow on twitter? i mostly follow my friends. 1997. If you had to get one sentence tattooed on your body, what would it be? none omg. 1998. At what point will you be good enough? When are you self-improved enough to accept yourself? if i reach all my goals. 1999. What are the three "nevers" of your life? never doing hard drugs (even though i have), never taking anyone i love for granted and i’m never going to settle. 2000. What is your first priority when you wake up? check the time.

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

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