#i hate doing this because i feel like the longer i don't give her background

[cherry-leclerc]

i hate you. i hate you? ☆ cs55

genre: humor, fluff, love confessions, childhood friends to enemies/rivals to lovers (damn, tongue twister), maybe a bit angsty (don't worry too much about it though, lol), flashbacks that add to a tiny slow-burn

word count: 3.5k

The dwindling friendship that comes crashing down when you get offered the opportunity of a lifetime. Leading to a bumpy road with your best friend.

req!... i swear that when i put angst ITS NOT BAD. anyways, enjoy, anons!

Me encantaría formar parte del equipo, you muse whimsically, pigtails flying against the winter breeze. Sería un sueño hecho realidad. 

Despite being young, you knew you were different— came from a divergent background compared to those around you. Your family definitely didn’t have the resources to fulfill your dream to kart or race professionally. You partially blame your brothers for getting you into the sport. 

Si. Lo sería, a particular Spaniard, agrees. You smile. Your parents share a pitiful glance before sitting you down. It wasn’t going to happen, not because they didn’t want to but simply because they couldn’t afford such an expensive hobby that would probably kick you in the butt. 

That’s where your first guardian angel appeared. Carlos Sainz Sr. Better known as your best friend's father. Without a doubt, he offers to sponsor you, for he grew keen on having you around, enjoying time by the pool with his two girls and shy son. 

Was there a way you could ever thank him? No, not really— nothing would ever cover all he’s ever done for you, but you’d make sure to try your best to find a way. Even if it took you a lifetime. 

-

“You’ve known her for a lifetime! Probably five, for all we know!” Lando yelps, running a hand through his curls. “You can’t just call it quits on your friendship just like…” He snaps his fingers. 

Carlos shrugs. He fills up a styrofoam cup of coffee, silently offering one to his moody friend. The Brit rolls his colorful eyes. You’re making a mistake, he presses. It’s the Spaniards turn to grow serious. 

“Por favor—she should have thought about that before she stole my seat.”

That, you did. It wasn’t an easy decision to make. It could have never been, even if you had been warned. But suddenly you were getting an opportunity, the kind you only ever dreamt of. Carlos would be fine, he was a man who would eventually have a pile of teams interested in keeping him around. You, on the other hand, were surprised that anyone was even intrigued in having you form a part of their F1 team, much less— Ferrari. 

This was it, and you had to grab at the opportunity. You just never imagined losing a friend along the way.

Why would you even consider accepting? You flinch and he’s looking as if he regrets it, so you give him the benefit of the doubt. 

I know this isn’t what we were expecting, but think of it this way. I'd be coming in 2025 and you would already be too busy preparing to join Audi! It’ll work out. You’re still doing that, right? You knew he was, he had been so excited and told you as soon as he found out. Audi was in his blood.

He runs a large hand through his tangled hair, sighing. Still. You have to say no. You can’t do that to me. It’d be embarrassing.

Your shoulders drop an inch. Why? Because you’re being bought out or because a woman is keeping your seat? His silence is enough for your heart to break and for your mind to be made up.

I’m signing. 

-

There is indignation, and then there is you.

“You are such a—argh!” Pounding your fists against the locked door, you reach out to briskly twist the knob, trying your best to get out of the cramped room. The world was spinning, and you could feel a migraine rolling in strongly, but you swore—swore—you would kill him as soon as you got your hands on him. 

The morning had started off fairly simple. Show up, run a few tests on the stimulator, get to know a few of the mechanics you’d be working with, and finally, sign your contract. You had waited longer than intended, due to minor changes you had suggested, so you were extremely ready to get it done. This was supposed to be your day.

That is until the grumpy Spaniard pushed you, locked you in, and ran off before you had a chance to register what was going on. Fred had been adamant—show up on time. The next time he would be available would not be until three weeks, and that was ridiculously long if anyone were to ask. Carlos knew that.

Charles hums slowly, munching on a pack of M&M's when he hears the spine-chilling scream you let out, wood vibrating as you punch angrily. Hurrying over, he unlocks it from the outside, surprised by your appearance. Your hair is tussled, face is blotchy, vein throbbing. It’s definitely a sight to say the least. He mentions something about —he went that way— and —think about what you’re going to do— but you’re off before you settle with any of it.

The twists and turns make your head hurt, practically seeing red before you come to a halt. Smiling sophisticatedly, Carlos is sat, legs crossed, fingers pointing to his watch. No. “News for you, my dear friend; Fred just left.” The Spaniard winces playfully, already making his way out the door. “Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

Charles was right. You should have thought about what you would do. Jumping onto his large back, your flimsy hands dig into the forest he calls hair, and pull. He screeches, swaying from side to side as he hurriedly tries to disconnect your legs from around his waist. Let go, he groans harder when you pinch his arm. 

“Why? Why did you do this—any of this?” At this point you’re kicking and screaming, panting, heaving. “Is it really that difficult to accept it? You lost. I’m in, you’re out.”

“At least we know she’s a fighter.”

Coming to a sudden stop, your eyes flicker to the familiar voice, instantly burning up. Fred taps his foot gingerly against the white tiles, an amused Monegasque standing right behind him. Jumping off of the sulky brunette, you begin to shake your head in disbelief, pointing towards the exit. “N-no…you’re supposed to be gone. He…” Then it hits you. This was a fucking set up.

“While I’m evenly impressed by your toughness, I will say, I think we should put a hold on signing.” Your stomach drops. The older man quickly waves his hands in dismissal, grinning apologetically. “We still want you! Nothing has changed, but I think it’s for the best that you fix things with Carlos before doing so. It’ll be good for you two.” With that, he bows his head, and strolls away, heading for the airport.

“I’m out too,” Charles whispered, slowly stepping back. “Fill me in on what happens, though!” 

As soon as your breath evens out—and Carlos creates a safe distance between you two—you let out a deranged chuckle. He almost cringes at the cold sound, but keeps his chin up high. “You did this all on purpose?” It’s a question but comes out more like a confirmation, which in a way, it was. Shutting your eyes, you tilt your head with a ghostly smile. “You knew he hadn’t left and let me make a fool out of myself. Why would you do that?” you grit, orbs laser focused on him as if you could light him up into flames if you really set your mind to it.  

“Why would I not?” he stubbornly spits back.

“You asshole, I’m just trying to make your dad proud.”

A pinch of guilt dives deep into his veins as he watches you stomp down the hallway, mindlessly tugging at his heart.

-

I say we let him burn, Ana pitches the idea, laying flat on her bed as you scoff with a knowing smile. 

Does it make me a bad person if I don’t disagree with you? 

She sits up, eyeing where you calmly paint down on a canvas. She squints her eyes. “What even is that?” Holding your art with pride, you shoot a sheepish smile. Nice, huh? The Spaniard’s youngest sister giggles, nose scrunching up at the dark sight. “I’m confused—is he supposed to look like that?”

You curl an analytical brow, shooting a quick snarl. “I think it’s pretty good. And yes. He’s supposed to be getting run over by my future car. What a sight.” You dramatically swoon.

Ana drops her stare, focusing instead with a teasing curl gripping the corner of her lips. “Remember when instead of plotting his death, you’d be fantasizing about a life with him? God, I could still remember all the hearts—the glitter.” She shudders, faintly recalling the mess in her room, which led to Reyes giving you both a good scolding, but not before winking at a red-faced you. 

Looking away feverishly, you shake your head, picking up the flimsy paint brush once again, never once bothering to make eye contact with her. “I was young. Stupid as shit. I can’t even remember what I loved about him.”

“Liked,” she corrects you.

You cough. “Right. Liked.”

-

If the Spaniard took the time to sit down, roll through a philosophical journey, wonder where things might have changed for him—it would have saved him enduring a puddle of dreadfulness at this very moment.

Ana’s wedding. The first of his sisters who would get married. It was a bittersweet day, and not just because she was finally leaving the family nest. “Who is she…” he can hear himself ask. Almost demand. The brunette smirks, slightly pleased. 

“My best friend. You’re nemesis,” she jokes. 

Carlos growls slowly, lightly pinching her cheek as she yelps. “With. You know what I mean.”

“Lalo. She met him a few weeks ago. Very nice guy.” A beat. “Please don’t ruin my wedding.”

But he’s not even listening. Brown eyes follow to where you stand straight, arms crossed over your body like a shield. He always knew you’d been self-conscious, but never understood why. You were stunning. Lavender dress hugs your curves beautifully. A trace of honey fills any area you fall into. Your hair is nicely pinned up, allowing him to enjoy your silky skin. 

And it seems like Lalo too.

Rubbing a large hand against his smooth jaw—which was only neat since Reyes had hounded him to fix his appearance for his sister’s big day—he smoothly made his way over. Rupert warns the Spanirad with his eyes, but Carlos scoffs. Did everyone think he had something up his sleeve? 

“Enjoying yourselves?”

Mid-sip, your face freezes, doe-eyes flickering between Lalo, then Carlos. Then Carlos, then Lalo. God, when did the room begin to boil? Your voice gets caught in your throat, to make matters worse. Carlos’ personal trainer pity’s you for a split second, deciding to help out. “The drinks are stellar, mate. We’ve been hogging the bar for so long at this point.”

The brown eyed boy studies your so-called date, faking a cold smile. “You don’t say…Carlos, by the way,” he says, extending his arm out. “Remind me of your name again, sorry, she’s just never mentioned you before. At all, really. I apologize.”

“That’s okay, we only just met a few weeks ago. We’re taking it slow.” We’re. The word itself makes the 29 year old fear he might puke right then and there. “Eduardo, but you can call me Lalo. Huge fan.”

“Mines or hers?” Carlos bitterly questions, thick lips forming a straight line. Lalo awkwardly clicks his tongue to the roof of his mouth, pulling away and leaning in to hold you close. 

“Guess it’s my turn to apologize now. Hers. Always. But you’re pretty cool, too, I suppose.” His voice is light, unbothered. It makes Carlos tick furiously, though he doesn’t dare show it. You can’t pinpoint the moment tension rose up, snapping you out of your trance. Blinking hastily, you aim a sour snarl at the Spaniard. 

“We were sort of having a good time, so…” You shoo him away with a jeweled hand. “I just don’t want to kill the vibes. You understand, right?” Barely giving him a chance to respond, you turn back to your conversation, leaving Lalo and Rupert to appear puzzled, but stupidly playing along.

With a raw click of the tongue, the 29 year old takes a step forward, leveling down to your ear. “Pretend all you want, but you’re still wearing my initials around that pretty wrist of yours.” And walks away.

It was true. Your parents had gifted you a lucky charm bracelet for your fourteenth birthday, and Carlos greedily beat everyone to it. A car, for your love for Formula One. A chili, a shy thank you for his nickname. An ice cream, well, because you just loved ice cream. And a cursive CS. For him. 

Watching him walk away left you with a hole in your heart. You did not need a reminder like that on a day like this. Wearing it was purely out of habit, it had no meaning to it anymore. At least that’s what you kept telling yourself. The need to use the restroom was a complete lie as you wordlessly peek for the broad Spaniard. You spot his glossy shoes first, sticking out the photo booth. 

“Scoot,” you say, gently cramming him in deeper. Once you get situated, you slide the silver charm off, handing it over to him. “Here.”

He furrows his dark brows. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t want anything tying me back to you anymore. It was kind—sweet—but that was past you. You’re cruel, mean, rude, a fucking jerk now. I don’t like that, so— here.”

“I don’t want it,” he retorts, curling your flat hand into a fist, forcing you to hold it tight. 

“Well I don’t either, so what is there to do? You know what; I’ll just sell it. It’s not even that significant,” you mumble, already making your way out, but not before he hauls you back. Falling straight onto his thigh. You can feel your pulse quicken, your cheeks tingle, and your eyes suddenly burn. “Let me go,” you squeal, trying your best to weasel out of his grip. He groans, placing a large hand on either side of your hips, pushing you down.

“No. Just listen to me first.” Sighing, you nod. You should be climbing off; there’s room for two. He should be pushing you off; there’s room for two. But none of that happens as he clears his throat, rehearsing his words over and over before you raise a neat brow, waiting for him. “Perdón. Por todo.” 

Not what you were expecting and he could tell when you let out a small gasp. Nervously, he licks his lips, admiring your plump ones that don’t lay too far off from his own. “I used to be so proud of you when we were just kids. When you first admitted you wanted to race too. It was adorable, the way your eyes lit up.” Your breath deepens, unknowing of what this was leading to. “But I’ve always been proud. That’s never changed.”

“You’re a terrific liar,” you timidly chuckle, patting his shoulder, making him back off a little. But he only ricochets forward, twice as close. Your insides churn. 

“You don’t know how fucking happy I was when you got a seat. Over the moon. But I won’t lie; I was hurt and said some shitty things that have no excuse tied to them. I know I hurt you—I know that now. But that feeling vanished when worry came creeping in. I don’t want you to sign that contract.”

You flinch, reality crashing down on you once again as you examine the Ferrari driver. “Why apologize if you haven’t changed? My feelings aren’t a joke,” you whimper pathetically, tears sliding down your cheeks, soft brows drawn together. 

He panics, gingerly brushing them away to the best of his ability and you don’t have the power to fight him off anymore. You’re too busy getting your heart broken once again by the same man. 

She’s beautiful. Insanely—it’s insane. Her eyes are a shade of green I’d never thought I’d like.

I once wore a shade of green shorts last summer and you called them ugly. Said it looked like vomit. 

Carlos sighs dreamily, dominantly shaking his head. 

Well crap. I must’ve changed my mind.

Present him, was taking in your frantic sobs and he doesn’t know how else to calm you if it's not by rubbing your back gently. It takes a while, but you eventually ease up, occasionally letting out a shaky breath. “First of all, let me tell you why I did everything within me for you not to sign. It’s no good.”

You tilt your head in confusion, nose runny as he hands you his handkerchief. “I-I’m confused.”

Carlos chuckles. “What was the one thing I would always complain to you about when I was away racing?” Lack of privacy? “Okay, second thing I raved about…” When you don’t answer, he sheepishly wiggles his brows. “How tired I was with my team. It’s exhausting because like it or not—we’re not at our prime. I don’t think we will be for a couple of years. But for my benefit, I’ll be gone, and then it’s only going to fall on-”

“Me,” you finish, glossy eyes dancing through his painful expression.

 He nods. “Listen, Charles will be fine. Mentally not, but he’ll do just okay. It’s you I’m worried about. Not only will you dive in, nose first into a world of ruthless men, but you’ll always be the entire blame. In their eyes, it'll be you. What did you do wrong? How could you fuck up? And sure, you might sometimes—it's inevitable— but other times you won’t. But you’re a girl, and that’s enough for the fingers to be pointed at you.”

Shaking your head profusely, you instantly reach up to catch your hair from falling from its tiring up-do. He helps you out, combing his fingers nicely, though this time it doesn’t get rid of the queasy feeling. He was right. God, why did he have to be right? 

“I’m well aware of what I’m about to get myself into. But I think I can handle it. I can’t not do it—imagine how many girls it would help pave the way for? I’m sure as fuck it won’t be easy, and it might threaten my sanity, but I need to do this. And I’m sorry.”

An unfamiliar wave crashes against his warm eyes, a low breath being expanded into the air. You can feel it, taste it. Mint mojito. Your body told you, you liked it, with the way you wanted to lean in and kiss him—just to confirm. Pursing your lips, you continue. “You have your future decided and I have mine.”

With a hesitant bow, and a tide of curls flying forward, he clears his throat. “You’ve always been this way. Dedicated. And I could never decipher why. Until now.” He can’t help but brush his nose against yours. Your eyes flutter shut, allowing him to appreciate your pretty features. “If you’re sure, then I’m right behind you.”

You almost want to laugh, but are too scared to ruin the moment, so instead count his freckles. “I am…” A sharp inhale. “But what’s the second thing?”

“What do you mean?”

“You said ‘first of all’. I would assume there’s more…” You know there is, but you just want to hear him say it aloud. You’d seen the way he glared viciously at Lalo, chest firming. You’d seen the way things had shifted between you two, months prior, after his break up.

If this racing thing doesn’t work out, you would make a killer artist. He whistles.

Down boy, you joke. It’s just a swan. I resonate with them. 

He sits up straighter. Then consider me a swan, too.

You laugh loudly, tossing your head back as he smiles. Why all of a sudden?

Just.

“It took me a while to get here, but I’m here.” He cradles your delicate face. “I think I love you. I-I mean I know I love you. Your stubbornness, your compliance. Your level-headedness, your intrusive actions. Your need to persevere and be better—even if others make it hard on you.” You giggle, poking his chest. “But above all, I love the way you made me work for it. I’m glad you did because how else could I have realized if you didn’t drag that dead-beat?”

“Hey! He’s nice!”

The 29 year old tsks. “Nice isn’t enough and you know it.” His pink lips graze over yours as you lean in too. “You’ve always been a smart girl…” He’s about to kiss you when you slide back, leaving him hanging. He clenches his jaw, seeming teased. 

“I love swans because I know I can love as deep as one.” 

“I can too.”

“And I know, you know, that I love you too.”

“I do know that.”

“And I lit you up on fire, but only on paper!”

His brows furrow. “Yeah, we can circle back to that. But I don’t care. I love all that about you. And I want you to know my father has always been proud of you.” He winks. “But never as much as me.”

“We’re doing this then?” you ask nervously. “Y-you’re still going to have to grovel. I don’t give up that easily. Especially after all you’ve put me through.”

Carlos gently nods, eyes adoring you. “I’ve waited more than a decade for this moment. What’s one more?”

And he kisses you.

taglist: @urfavnoirette @lpab @d3kstar @namgification @myownwritings

*feel free to let me know if you would like to be included in the general taglist!!

#carlos sainz #carlos sainz smut #carlos sainz fluff #carlos sainz angst #carlos sainz blurb #carlos sainz drabble #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz x female reader #carlos sainz x oc #carlos sainz x y/n #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz fanfic #f1 #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 #formula one #f1 x female reader #carlos sainz f1 #f1 smut #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #scuderia ferrari #cs55 #cs55 x reader

[itsjustaninchident]

Tolerate It

Charles Leclerc x Fem!Reader

summary: Y/N cries almost about everything but don't worry Charles is there, ready to wipe her tears away.

warning/s: angst???? and fluff

author's note: idk if i gave this justice, this is like a spur of the moment thing.

Y/N is definitely an empath, she sees stray cats and dogs on the street? she'll pet and cry for them, if only she could take all of them home. Old people alone? Bawl her eyes out. Kids that ask for money on the streets? Think how life must've treated them.

But at least she has a boyfriend to run to when it gets too hard for her, to breathe while she cries her heart out. Arms ready for her to run to and his shirt ready to get soaked by her salty tears. Must've been the reason she's made it to (your age), she has a comforting boyfriend who never found it weird she cries at all the most mundane things.

She's watching a sad movie? Don't worry Charles is there to give her tissues and feed her ice cream. "You've watched this a hundred times but never fail to cry as hard as the last time you've watched it. Nonetheless, you're adorable so you get a pass." And that would put a smile on her while Charles dry her tears and kiss her softly on her nose.

She listens to songs and suddenly a cute/angsty/happy lyric comes on? He'll rub her back and hug her through it. "It's okay, Love. Taylor Swift was probably chilling while she writes 'I know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it.'" Charles tries to convince her while she cries harder upon hearing the lyrics, "Okay, I am sorry. I probably shouldn't sing anymore." Which cut her crying session with a meek laugh bubbling her throat. "There's your pretty smile." He utters with full adoration. He probably still finds her gorgeous even when she's breaking down, Charles will find her pretty as much.

She stumbles upon a sad and tragic couple's story on tiktok whom she's never met in real life? Charles is right there to assure her it won't happen to them. "It was probably orchestrated, you know. Besides, we're like the perfect pair and I couldn't ask for more." He assures her rubbing circles on her back as she lay down on his chest, content to hear how his heart beats for her.

And that's what makes them a perfect couple, he was always there in her 'ugly crying' days, always ready to wipe her tears, always ready to give her comforting words "It's okay, mon cheri. I am here. I'll always love you." He says in the softest voice and all her tears will dry and a smile will shine on her face again. And just like that all her worries will fade, all the sad things she's thought of are fading into the background as if she never thought of it at all. She was able to get through the bad and sad days with him by her side, ready to wipe the tears and put a smile on her face. 

She was so used to him being there for her that when he’s no longer present, she feels a hole in her heart. There's no one to wipe the tears away rather the one she's crying for, no one making her laugh to ease the pain instead he's the reason for the pain, no one to run to when she's sad because the slightest thought of him makes her miserable already, how will she recover now when the person who takes away her sadness is now the reason why she's sad?

please I would love to hear a feedback about this one, it's like a first for me to write something so angsty????? I hate angst so I am sorry if I made u believe it will all be alright all along..... Anyway please do some request because request box is open!!! hehe happy holidays

#fluff #f1 #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #angst #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc angst

[sidekick-hero]

(steddie | teen | 2.3k | tags: rockstar!eddie, addiction, rehab, journaling, only Eddie's entries turn into letters to Steve | Part 2 to Carry You | @steddielovemonth prompt Love is about a hand reaching out to you so you don't get lost by @yournowheregirl | AO3)

Edited for a big shout out to @steves-strapcollection whose lovely OC has a little cameo here. If you want to know who Tig is, you can find out here. Spoiler: he's amazing and we love him.

Day 0

Dear Steve,

Hi Stevie,

Apparently, it's not good to "bottle up" your feelings. They say it makes drinking or drugs or any other addiction so tempting. It makes it easier to keep all that stuff inside you and let it fester until you need more and more of whatever it is that helps you cope. So the first rule of rehab: Talk, don't take.

That's a long way of saying I need to keep a journal like a 13-year-old girl with her first crush. It's either that or a daily crying session with the other "inmates" here, and I'd rather not have to tell Terry the old gossip my own tragic sob story. She already told me the life stories of two other patients here at dinner.

Instead, I decided to write to you. You're the one person I regret the most pushing away, and even though you'll probably never see this, it feels good to tell you these things now. Like a dry run. Because, baby, when I get out of here, I swear I will let you in. I won't make the same mistakes.

You will never go another day without knowing how much you mean to me.

How much I love you.

You only left an hour ago and I already miss you. I can't believe I've survived six months without you. Well, I barely did. I wish I could call you, but phone privileges are only for those who make it through their first week here.

I know we chose this center together knowing that they don't allow visitors for at least three weeks. Maybe longer if my therapist says I'm not ready. Fuck, three weeks didn't sound so bad when we talked about it, but now? In this ugly, impersonal room that smells clean but is totally clinical. You know, that mix of disinfectant and sterile air with a hint of medication lingering in the background. It sounds like an eternity and then some.

Nothing here feels comfortable or warm, and I miss your face so much it physically hurts.

But I promised myself I'd do whatever it took. For you and Wayne, for the boys and the kids.

So, day 0, the journey begins.

Fuck, I almost forgot: I'm supposed to answer three questions every day.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

See above. I miss you, that's how I am. I want this to be over. I hate that I'm here and even more that I'm the one who got me here. I feel like a fuckup. It's hard not to when I see how I've ruined everything good in my life. But then I remember the way you kissed me goodbye. The smile on your face when you told me how proud you were of me. The way you kissed my hand because you couldn't let go and whispered, "I'll see you soon," and I want to have hope.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Get through the day without doing anything I'll regret.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

You. That you didn't give up on me. (And the Gummi Bears you hid at the bottom of the bag, you minx. Thank you.)

Day 4

Sweetheart,

I'm not doing so well. It's hard. Who am I kidding? It sucks. My body hurts from how much I want to use. My brain is so very loud, Stevie. So, so loud. I try to remember how you managed to calm me down when my brain got like this. What helped the most was to wear me out by fucking me senseless, but that's not an option. But maybe I will try to go for a walk or even do some of those exercises you always tried to get me to do. The ones that usually led to fucking because I could never behave.

My therapist is nice. Her name is Laura, and so far she's taking everything I throw at her in stride. Talking to her feels like pulling my own teeth and I feel like shit afterwards, but I sleep better. Who would have thought, huh?

I miss you.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Not good. I wonder if I can really do this. It doesn't feel like it right now. I'm afraid I won't make it. That I will screw up again. That if I do, it'll kill me and I'll be grateful because I couldn't live with myself if I did.

I don't want to die, Stevie.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Talk to the weird kid who always sits by himself during meals. He looks lost. Maybe he knows DnD.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

Still you. Every day. Wayne, for taking me in when I felt like a failure too. Unlovable. Worthless. He never stopped believing in me. Even when I gave him every reason not to. I don't know how I deserve him or you, but I am so fucking grateful.

Day 7

Fuck, I missed your voice. God. I'm sorry I lost it like that. I didn't want the first thing you heard from me after a week apart to be me ugly sobbing into the phone.

I wanted to tell you so many things. I had a plan, you know? But hearing your voice when you said, "Hi, baby," it just broke me. You sounded like you missed me too, like you were relieved to hear my voice too, and you didn't even realize how scared I was that you wouldn't.

We just hung up, but I want to call you again. Just to hear you breathing on the other side so I know you're still there. Waiting for me. Your hand still gripping mine so I wouldn't get lost.

You said, "I'll hear you tomorrow," like it was set in stone, no doubt about it. It made me feel, fuck, I don't even know. Like this is real. I didn't die on that bathroom floor, and you giving me another chance isn't some kind of hallucination or afterlife dream.

I'm rambling, sorry. Even in writing I can't help it.

One day I'll write it all down in a way that makes sense, I promise.

I love how patient you are with me. No one has ever been. I was always too loud, too distracted, too weird, too complicated, too much. But not to you.

I wish you were here to take me in your arms, it's hard not to fall apart without you holding me together.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Better. Fucking determined to get through this and get back to you. Still scared.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Have a real conversation with you without breaking down on the phone. Here's to hoping. Detoxing and being sober has given me a hair trigger on my emotions, it seems.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

Your patience. Your grace. Your voice in my ear. That you still haven't given up on me. DnD, for giving me a purpose when I needed one, a tool to give others the help I so desperately wanted. The weird kid's name is Alex, and he does know DnD. We'll try to find more people for a campaign.

Day 16

Steve, baby,

I am so fucking sorry. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. I'm such an asshole. Please pick up the phone. I need to tell you how sorry I am. I didn't mean it, I was just scared. When you said that maybe Laura was right and you shouldn't come to see me next week if I wasn't ready, I thought you didn't want me anymore. That you finally got tired of holding my hand and watching me do those damn baby steps. It's been over two weeks, why am I not better? Why am I not done with this shit?

I want to be done, I swear.

Please don't leave me.

Please pick up the phone.

Please, please, please.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Fuck this shit, what good is it if I keep hurting you?

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Stop being a fucking asshole.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

I want it to be you, but I'm not sure I even have you in my life anymore.

Day 23

Stevie,

I'm scared. Isn't this the stupidest thing you've ever heard? A few days ago I begged to see you. Fuck, I was so desperate to see you that I almost ruined everything. I'm still sorry, I hope you know that. I know, I know, you said that it's okay and that it can't be all smooth sailing, that you forgive me. That you'll keep forgiving me as long as I keep coming back to talk to you, to explain, to show you that I mean it.

And now I've got the all clear for you to come and see me, and I'm too scared to tell you.

I'm still not the man I want to be. The man who deserves someone like you.

Laura told me that love isn't something you deserve, it's something freely given. We don't decide if someone can love us, only they do. And that I have to stop pushing people away because I'm convinced they can't love me. It's their choice and I shouldn't try to take it away from them.

I think about this a lot.

I want to let you love me, I do. It's just hard for me to understand why you would want to do that at all. It's something Laura wants to work on with me as well.

There is so much work to do. I hate to bother you with it. To make it your problem. I wanted to come in here and two weeks later walk out a new man. A better one. One you can love easily and who can love you back in a way you can understand. A man Wayne can be proud to call his son. A man Gareth and Jeff and Grant want to have as a friend, as a bandmate. A man the kids can look up to as much as they look up to you.

Laura said I should take the hand you are holding out to me. It's a decision I make every day. I took it in the hospital. I took it when you drove me here.

I should take it by letting you in, letting you see the work in progress that I am right now.

I think I will call you after dinner to tell you.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Fuck if I know. It's a lot to feel when you've numbed your feelings for so long. I remember why I did it, but I won't do it again, I'll learn to deal with it.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Take you in my arms and hold you. Let myself be held by you.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

Your hand in mine. The thought of you that keeps me going. Your bravery. Dustin and Mike and Will and Lucas. They call me all the time, you know. Asking me about my first campaign here, telling me about their lives. Keeping in touch, even though I failed them almost as much as my old man did me.

Day 31

Steve, my love,

You're on your way to pick me up and I can't believe we made it here. It's not done, it probably never will be. I know that now. I have to keep working on myself and being well. But it's so fucking worth it, Stevie.

I'm glad that Laura agreed to stay my therapist even if I leave the center. I trust her. She gets me, she knows when to push me and tell me the ugly truth, and when I need time to process things.

I haven't told you yet, but I'm not going back to Corroded Coffin. At least not right now. I talked to the guys and they all agreed that it's best if I take some time for myself. And for you. For my family and friends. They actually have a guy named Tig who auditioned while I was here and they like him. He's good, they sent me a demo. They asked me if it would be okay and I said it would be. It's true, even though it hurts. I have to do this for myself.

Because I am going to give this to you later, I want to tell you something here before I lose my courage.

Steve. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know I haven't always shown you the way you deserve. Hell, some days I certainly didn't act like it. My worst days. But I never stopped loving you. I don't think I ever will.

But I also learned to like myself a little better here. I no longer want to punish myself for things that were out of my control, like my mom dying or my dad not caring enough for me to stay. I want to be loved. I want you to love me. I want to let you.

I want to finally leave the past behind and allow myself to think about the future. And whenever I do, you're in it. You're the anchor, the epicenter of all my plans.

Stevie, sweetheart, I want to marry you.

Don't worry, I'm not proposing. This is just something I needed to tell you. Someday I want to be your husband, if you want me.

You are my past, my present and my future.

This is me taking your hand every day until I die or you stop reaching for me.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

So fucking excited to have you all to myself again. Seriously, I'm going a little crazy. I'm also hopeful about the future. And in love. I'm so fucking in love with you.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

To start our life together without forgetting what came before.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

My second chance.

#steddie #steddie fanfiction #stranger things fanfiction #rockstar eddie munson #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddielovemonth #day 17 #Love is about a hand reaching out to you so you don't get lost #my writing

[gyll-yee-haw]

Your age gap writings are so good! Can you write something where the reader is in her 20s in college and Jake protects her from hate from fans or maybe one of his friends is like 'She's way too young for you and she isnt famous or trying to be famous so why are you with her???' and Jake just shuts them down

Thank you so much, babyy <3

I've got a taste for men who are older, can't help it.... 😔

Warnings: age gap, misogyny (not from Jake obv), cockwarming, pool sex, size kink, oral (f), creampie, soft!dom Jake, daddy kink, so many pet names, a hint of innocence kink

Like 3.2k words

---

It was a hot summer day. You were outside by the pool, book open in front of you as the sun burned your skin. You were finally relaxing after an exhausting semester in college.

Poor Jake, though, couldn't join you. He had a lot of things to solve about upcoming projects... you weren't complaining, you were extremely proud. And why would you even complain? Most days he worked from home. He sat with his laptop at the kitchen table, which was separated from the pool area by a glass door, that allowed him to enjoy the view of you in a bikini, living your best life. Well, you earned it, college can be really rough.

More often than not, you would tease him. Like when he was taking an important call and your bikini top would accidentally fall off... or when you (also accidentally) made eye contact with him while enjoying your popsicle a little too much... and all that would lead to him delaying his work just a little bit.

But tomorrow would be different. A few people on his team would come over for a meeting. So you told him you would just hide in the bedroom until they were finished. He insisted that the meeting shouldn't stop you from enjoying your time however you liked, but you said you preferred it that way. Not only you wouldn't feel comfortable having foreigner eyes on you, but you also didn't want to embarrass Jake... you knew by the comments you've been reading the kind of things people called you. You didn't want to give anyone any evidence that you were irresponsible or bad for his career.

-

So, by the time everyone arrived the next day, you were comfortably snuggling on your pillows, searching for something to watch on tv. Or some background noise for you to nap to.

Meanwhile, Jake was downstairs, discussing important things with his crew.

The meeting itself didn't take too long. But as everyone was saying goodbye, one of his oldest friends, who worked on his image's management asked him if it was okay for him to stay a little longer, so they could speak privately. Jake didn't mind and didn't think much of it... after all, they knew each other for a very long time, and would often talk about non-work related things.

"Hey, man." Jake greeted him as soon as the last person walked out. "Sit down, want something to drink?"

"No, I'm okay, I won't take too long, actually." The man replied in a very serious tone. "There's just something that a few of us been talking about and... we really didn't want to bring it up during the meeting, because it's quite delicate."

Jake's face fell. He had been so happy these last days... and the meeting was so successful, he didn't expect to have any trouble soon.

"Actually..." The man continued, as there was no response from Jake. "No one really wanted to bring it up, but... I'm your friend, am I not? I knew I had to."

"What's going on?" Jake asked, trying to get him to go straight to point, instead of explaining himself over and over again.

"It's about Y/N." He said at once. "Listen, man... I know you, I know you're in love and you're happy, but..."

"Hey, don't start." Jake felt his blood boil as he brought your name up. "I know what people say about her. But they don't know her. And neither do you."

"Jake, man..." he shook his head, hands on his waist as he tried get into Jake's head. "Come on, we all know how much shit starts with you don't know her, she's different..."

"Well, and you know that people on the internet are just waiting for opportunity to misinterpret something... at least you should know, since it's your job." Jake shrugged. "I mean... how many times did we have to deal with this?"

"Jake, I'm not talking as someone worried about your career. I know that these comments will die when they find someone else to cancel." He explained. "I'm talking as someone who's worried about you. You know how these girls are... maybe she finds a richer guy before the comments die, you know."

"Get out of my house." Jake closed his eyes and counted to ten, trying to keep his voice low.

"Come on, man..."

"Get the fuck out." He repeated. "If you leave right now, you're just fired. If I have to ask again, I'll make a few phone calls just to make sure you won't be getting another job anytime soon."

"You know what?" The man raised both hands in the air and chuckled. "You do whatever you want, I'm just trying to warn you..."

The look on Jake's face made him walk through the door without saying anything else.

Jake's body felt heavy and he allowed it to fall on the sofa. His heart ached. How could anyone talk about his princess that way? People didn't know how sweet and caring and kind you were. People didn't know how happy you made him.

"Fuck it." He rolled his eyes.

He was stressed and decided to take the rest of the day off. Take the day off to enjoy your company. You relaxed him like nothing else and nobody knew shit about you.

The eager manner he opened the bedroom door made you jump.

"Sorry, baby." He spoke as he climbed up the bed, resting his head on your chest. He left out a frustrated sigh.

"Oh no, what happened?" Your arms automatically wrapped around him. He looked exhausted.

"Just had to fucking fire someone." He replied, feeling his skin crawl. It made him even more angry to remember that asshole's words now, while he was being comforted by you. "Sexist piece of shit."

"Why?" Your eyes widened. He told you it would be a simple meeting... you would never expect things to end this way.

"I don't really wanna talk about it right now." He knew that if he told you, it would ruin your day. It would hurt your feelings, you would get insecure and maybe even feel a little guilty, which you absolutely didn't deserve. "But you could make me feel better, pretty princess."

Your face visibly lit up at the possibility. And that sparkle on your eyes made Jake regret not punching that guy on the face.

"Why don't you put your bikini on, darling?" He suggested. "Wanna spend the rest of the day by the pool with you, how does that sound?"

"Really?" You smiled at him, warming up his heart. "Just you and me, no work?"

"No work." He promised, returning your smile. "Hurry up, angel. I'll be downstairs waiting for you."

You didn't waste any time. You ran to the bathroom to put on your cutest bikini. One Jake himself bought you. You loved it when looking pretty for him could solve his problems. You felt so powerful.

When you were ready, you wrapped a towel around your body and went downstairs. From the kitchen, you could see him inside the pool. His hair was wet and the way he was breathing indicated he had swam a few laps already. You bit your lip. The roles were reversed at that moment. Now you were the one who was appreciating how the sun hit his wet skin so beautifully. His breathtaking body. God, no man your age looked like that.

But his beauty wasn't all that caught your eye. He also looked so stressed. And he tried to hide it as soon as he noticed you approaching the pool.

You tossed your towel on a chair and sat on the edge of the pool, feeling the water cover the lower half of your legs. He swan closer to you and placed his hands on your knees, which you took as sign to spread your legs. As soon as you did, he stood between them and cupped your cheeks with both hands, placing a sweet kiss on your nose.

You shivered as drops of cold water rolled down his fingers through your neck.

"I love you." He said, out of nowhere. "You make me so fucking happy."

"I love you too." You smiled, placing your hands on top of his, still on your face.

His hands went to your waist and he caught how your body reacted, letting out a laugh.

"What? Water is so cold..." you felt relieved by seeing him laugh.

"It kinda is." He admitted, and you knew that look in his eyes. He had an idea. "Why don't you come here and keep me warm, huh?"

"Alright, but give me a minute." You took a deep breath.

"Take your time, baby, I'm yours all day today." He leaned down, spreading your legs a bit more so he could place little kisses on the inside of your thighs, dangerously close to what your bikinis barely covered. "In fact, I'm yours all the time. Everyday. Even when I'm not here, you're all I think about."

"Yeah?" You bit your lip, bringing your hand to the back of his head, grabbing his hair very gently.

"I do." He continued his trail of kisses as he wanted to make sure not an inch of your thighs wouldn't feel loved. "If I could have my mouth on you all day I would, princess. For the rest of my life..."

He grabbed your thighs, making you move foward a bit. Then he used two fingers to pull your bikini panties to the side before getting his tongue on you. He licked your folds up and down slowly, like he was trying to discover what you tasted like. Like he didn't have you for breakfast that very morning. And the way his tongue began to work afterwards, hungrily, in and out of your hole, indicated he liked it very much.

He used his other hand to finger you, one finger in and out slowly, until he felt he could accommodate two, and as your moans got louder, he began curling them inside of you, all while he licked and sucked on your clit with passion.

Your hips bucked against his face and you pulled his hair, trying not to fall inside the pool, since you were dangerously close to the edge.

"Jake!" you gasped loudly. "Gonna cum, gonna cum..."

His mouth was working too hard on your clit and no force in the universe could make him stop at that moment, so he wasn't really able to reply, but you took that as a sign that he really wanted you to. And you did. You screamed his name, pulling his hair hard enough to make him moan against your core. When you were finished, you had to push him away, cause he didn't want to stop.

"Please... it hurts, too sensitive..." you begged.

He separated his mouth from you, wearing an unbearably gorgeous grin. Then he removed his fingers, immediately sucking them clean.

"Taste so fucking good, baby, can't help it, want more..."

"Fuck, Jake, I..."

"It's okay, princess. Won't you join me?" He helped you fix your bikini as if nothing had happened.

"I will, turn around."

He immediately understood what you meant. He turned his back to you and you hopped on it like a koala, gasping as you felt the water involving your whole body, arms and legs wrapping tighter around Jake's body.

"Easy, baby, you'll get used to it." He chuckled, moving around the pool with you in his back.

He was right, soon enough you felt your body relax against his.

"See, I'm keeping you warm." You said, kissing his shoulder.

"Oh, sweet girl..." he laughed. "That's not what I meant."

Your eyes widened at the realization. "Oh... I'm sorry, I'm so stupid."

"You're not stupid. You're my sweet, innocent little girl, aren't you?" He comforted you.

"I guess..." you felt your face grow warmer.

You untangled yourself from him, feet touching the floor. He turned around to face you.

"You're so pretty." He murmured, touching your face softly.

"Wanted to look pretty for you." You smirked. "Make you forget all your worries."

"You did it." His hand wrapped softly around your neck. "You're such a good girl for it."

"Hmm..." you started feeling him through his swimming shorts. "You're so hard."

"Yes, pretty girl. You did this." He brought his lips to yours, brushing softly as you reached inside his shorts.

His hands went to your hips and he kissed you to distract you from the fact he was getting rid of your bikini panties, then threw them somewhere outside the pool, keeping an eye contact that was enough to make you clench around nothing. He pulled his shorts down just enough to free his cock.

"Ready, baby?" He asked sweetly and you nodded. "Don't move, okay? Stay very still and relax."

You wrapped your legs around him and he entered you slowly. When he was all the way in, he stopped everything, just held you tightly.

"Just wanna relax with my pretty girl today." He said, giving your forehead a kiss. "Cock buried deep inside her, where it belongs."

It was the way he spoke the dirtiest things in the sweetest tone that always drove you crazy. That made you wanna bounce on his cock like no tomorrow. That made you moan under your breath, but he always, always heard you.

"What's wrong, princess?" He mocked.

"You're so fucking hot..." you almost cried as you watched him lift your bikini top and pinch your nipples.

"So cockdrunk and I didn't even fuck you properly." He kept playing with your tits.

"Please..." you whined.

"Y/N, it hasn't been 5 minutes." He kissed your neck. "Be patient, I thought you were a good girl... I just need a break, can't you see that?"

"I'm sorry." You moaned. "But... but you can take a break, and maybe I could move, just me?"

"Come on, you can do better than that." He laughed at how incoherent you sounded. "I know you know how to beg, baby. Just say the words, you have to be more clear."

He pinched your nipples again as he saw you hesitate.

"Jake, fuck!" You moaned in pain, feeling your pussy squeeze him. "Let me sit on your cock, PLEASE. I will be good, I promise..."

"That's better." He removed himself from you, earning protests. "Calm down, baby, I'm gonna do what you asked, unless you wanna be a brat..."

You bit your lip, to keep quiet.

He fixed his shorts and got out of the pool, signaling with his hand for you to follow him, and you did, like an obedient puppy obsessed with it's owner.

He sat on a chair, beside the pool, legs spread, waiting for you. You had to take a moment to appreciate his body again. His hairy chest, with a matching beard. He was so big... his thighs, his posture so masculine. The way he looked so intimidating, but was the softest when it came to you... he was perfect.

Soon enough you were standing between his legs. He kept eye contact with you as he got rid of your bikini top, directing his mouth to your tits as he grabbed your ass with both hands, hard enough to leave a mark.

"You're so fucking gorgeous." His voice was filled with lust as he spoke. "Gonna be a good girl and sit on my cock now?"

"Yes, fucking love your cock..." you agreed, feeling dumb as you saw it throb when he pulled it out of his pants.

"You're such a dirty girl, saying things like that... I mean, I know you love my cock, but jesus..." he mocked you with a smirk, helping your straddle him.

"Don't like it when I talk dirty, daddy?" You asked innocently.

"Fucking love it, baby, can't you see my cock throbbing? Come on, angel, make daddy cum like you promised, be good to me..."

He didn't even finish his words before you managed to get it inside of you, moaning at how good he stretched you.

You started moving up and down at a nice pace, knowing both of you were just too horny for games. Knowing that you only had the illusion of being on control because you were on top... but he could make you regret the smallest teasing.

"Fuck..." he moaned both at your movements and the sight of your tits boucing.

One of his hands cupped one of your breasts as the other one went to your hip, a sign that he wanted it harder. And you gave it to him harder.

"You're so good to me, such a pretty baby... you're gonna make me cum."

"Need you to!" You already looked and sounded like a mess, boucing on his cock as fast as you could, feeling your pussy start to squeeze him. "Need to you to cum inside, daddy..."

"Of course, baby, you deserve it, yeah?" Both his hands were now on your hips, handling you like a doll. "All of daddy's cum belongs to this pretty pussy..."

You cried out as you came again. So much harder. And he just kept thrusting hard, his thighs hitting your ass made a sound so loud you could barely hear him.

And then he came too, as deep as he could. He rested on the chair, breathing heavily and you collapsed on his chest. A few minutes of the most absolutely perfect peace he felt in days filled the air, and he breathed it in.

Not even your whines and protests when he pulled out could interrupt it, he just chuckled.

"Shhh it's okay, little one." He said sweetly. "Just wanna take care of my princess."

You accepted, feeling safe as he wrapped a towel around your body and stood up with you still in his arms. He carried you bridal style to the bedroom.

"Waaait! No!" You laughed as he tried to put you down on the bed. "We're still wet!"

"That doesn't matter, we'll change the sheets afterwards, come on..." he rolled his eyes. "Just wanna look at you for a second."

"You've been looking at me a lot these days..." you mocked him. "Watching me through that glass door, I see you pretending to work..."

"It's just hard to believe you're mine." He admited, intertwining his fingers with yours. "I'm afraid you'll disappear if I look away."

"That's right, I'm yours... and I'm not going anywhere." You promised, placing a soft kiss on his lips. "I love you, Jake."

You had no idea how much he needed to hear that. Of course he knew it, but having moments like this, so intimate, even more than the sex they just had, gave him strength to face all the bullshit people said about you and him. Cause in the end, this is what he was coming home to. He felt safe.

"I love you so much, my princess."

#jake gyllenhaal #jake gyllenhaal x reader #jake gyllenhaal fanfic #jake gyllenhaal smut #jake gyllenhaal x you #jake gyllenhaal x y/n #jake gyllenhaal imagine

[laugtherhyena]

Fuck you *categorizes your moonscorches*

Earlier today i was chatting with my friends and it made me think a lot about the moonscorched forms of the termina cast and what they represent, the conversation itself was about Daan and Elise's relationship and how i personally don't think we can use Stitches as an accurate way to read her character due to moonscorch.

Because the moonscorch forms are at their core a distorted version of someone, however the way in which they're distorted tends to vary a lot between characters to the point that in order to understand what way that is you need to know who they were as humans, which is something we can't do with Elise since she's a background character who we never interact or see when she was alive.

This made me want to look into and try to categories the termina participants moonscorch forms in the way i think the distortion potrays them as, which it's not accurate to them as people in most cases.

-Daan: "This isn't who i am"

There's nothing about Pocketcat that resembles Daan aside from his physical appearance and a couple odd lines (of which i feel like may happen because he is a fresh new body for Pocketcat? So he still has a few of Daan's memories and mannerisms but those will likely fade away the longer he stays in that body) because he's just a creature who took over his body, Pocketcat is not Daan and Daan is not Pocketcat. I personally don't even count this as a moonscorch form, but sources tend to group him with the others, so i might as well add him in this list.

-Abella and Marcoh: "This isn't who i am, but what the world percieves me as"

To look at the Chaugnar and conclude that Abella is a rude and violent person is just straight up wrong. Abella as a person is kind, sweet and caring, but not only is her profession something uncommon for women to have in that time period but she actively works for an organization that values her skills and not her as a person.

It's easy to percive her as something she isn't judging solely by appearance and/or an abridged description of her character. This is what the Chaugnar is, it's Abella being potrayed as the mindless brute she doesn't want to be seen as.

The same thing happens with Marcoh, his background, his connection to mobsters, his reputation as a street boxer, all of those things can paint the image of Marcoh as a dangerous and violent man when in reality he is genuinely a good person at heart.

-Levi, Marina and Olivia: "This isn't who i want to be"

These the most upsetting form of moonscorch in my opinion because the distress and agony the characters are going through it's incredibly apparent.

Levi despises wars, they took so much away from him and gave nothing but trauma and addiction in return. He hates being associate with them which is why Weeping scope cries as he relentlessly scratches the gun on his head, it's Levi desperately trying separate himself from wars and violence, unfortunately to no avail.

Following her father's footsteps is not something Marina wants nor does she feel like she has to, the idea that her life has been decided from the moment she was born by someone else is something she hates. Marina's moonscorch is her being forced into this role and being controled by another person, a parasite that has logged itself onto her body and now gives her orders on everything she has to do.

This last one may be a little more of a stretch, i don't know Olivia as well as i know the other two, but her moonscorch being a giant machine that continuously poisons you through the fight makes me think about how much Olivia hates feeling like she's a bother to others and that a group would do better without her to "slow them down". There's also the fact that she's a botanist and machines are pretty much the polar opposite of the nature she cares so much about.

-Tanaka and Henryk: "This is who i need to be"

Judgement is pretty much the embodiment of Tanaka's feelings about how as the head of his family and their main source of income he needs to keeping going regardless of his mental of physical state, it doesn't matter if he's hurt or exhausted he needs to continue working, he has to, the grind never stops! Because this is what he thinks will make him the perfect eldest son.

Now this other one is heavily tied with my personal interpretation of Henryk's character; which is a man who, coming from a career that's usually not seen as very "manly", wants to fit in and conform with society's expectations of how a man is supposed to be because he hates the feeling of rejection.

That's why the Gentleman is, well, a gentleman. It's the kind of person Henryk feels like he needs to be. He's big, strong and moreover he's a leader, the mayor or Prehevil, it makes me think a lot about how men are expected to grow into strong leading figures just for the sake of being a guy.

-Samarie and O'saa: "This is who i should be"

Truth be told O'saa is one of the characters in this game i know the least about, so i had to get some help from my friend Marco on this and at the end of the day we thought this category was the best to describe his moonscorch. O'saa doesn't live by anyone else's rules, be it the government, the gods, he doesn't even follow the rules of the yellow mages, the Mastermind may be a manifestation of his ego as in if he isn't following them then he surely must be above all of these forces? Hard to say.

Now Samarie is a weird one, i don't really know where to start? So i think I'll do it by the name lf her moonscorch form, Dysmorphia, which is when someone obsseses over one or more aspects of their body that they consider a flaw. From her lines i get the feeling that Samarie really doesn't like herself that much and reading her mind mostly shows her calling herself a fool or a fucking idiot, so it's plausible that this dislike towards herself also applies to physical appearance and not just her as a person.

My friend once pointed out that Dysmorphia looks like the opposite of Samarie and while he said it in a joke manner i do feel like there's some logic behind it; Samarie has long hair but Dysmorphia has none, Samarie is skinny and bony while Dysmorphia is big and round, Samarie is always with a tired and kinda sad expression while Dysmorphoria apears to be smiling. It could be that Samarie hates herself so much that she sees this monstrosity that's the opposite of her as "perfect form" of sorts? She does say that she's radiating as Dysmorphia, i guess it's food for thought.

Because really this entire section is mostly me theorizing/speculating because these two were the hardest characters for me to categorize on this.

-Karin and Caligura: "This is who i trully am"

This is one of the most interesting moonscorch categories because they're the only ones that accurately potray who these characters are despite being distortions of their human selves.

Karin is the Valkyrie, she genuinely believes she's doing a good thing with her work, that she's is imortalizing these fallen soldiers and giving them the recognition they deserve. At the same time she knows those who criticize her work have a point, she makes a living out talking about these tragedies like a vulture that feeds of a corpse on the side of the road, yet she sticks to her beliefs that what she does is good at the end of the day.

Meanwhile Caligura is undeniably a vile disgusting man, he is a monster inside and out. So seing him as a giant scrotum that stays submerged in gross sewer water does a good job at summarizing who he is as a person.

#my head hurts soooo bad but that won't stop me from writing all this shit down #i NEEDED to get this out of my system #fear and hunger #fear and hunger temrina #moonscorch #funger #f&h #long post #hyena ramblings

[mactavishwritings]

Fresh Ink part two

Ghost x Tattoo Artist!Reader

No matter what happens to him, he always comes home

tw: tattoo needles and slight arguing

this one will primarily be from ghost's pov. will switch to reader's pov occassionally. this one is also slightly longer!

part one | part two |part three | part four

The days leading up to the 29th dragged on and on. Ghost couldn't wait to get back into your little shop. Price made fun of him slightly, "I told you that it would become an addiction soon."

The day before the team was suppose to be sent home and Ghost could get his next piece was the final piece of the mission they were on. It should've been so simple, but fucking Graves had to go and throw everything away.

Ghost pictured you sitting in your little chair, waiting for him. He wanted to call or something, but he couldn't. He was stuck in the middle of Mexico, directing Soap to a church. He knew you understood because for active duty soldiers, you did not have a cancelation policy. He always thought it was so sweet that you would do that.

Sitting around a table with the rest of the ghost team, they plotted their next mission. "After this, we should commemorate this shit. We should get little tattoos or somethin'." Soap joked and the team laughed. "We could go to Ghost's girl. She does a fantastic job on him." Price sent a wink Ghost's way and he felt himself tense. The thought of sharing you with the rest of the team made him feel jealous.

He didn't want to share your softness. He didn't want to share your kindness or your artistry. He refuse to allow the others to be tattooed by you, but it was your job; your livelihood. How dare he take that from you.

Ghost nodded. "Considering I was suppose to see her a month ago for my next piece, maybe she can fit all of us in."

You were laying in your bed when your phone started ringing. You were up late like usual, drawing the next day's appointments. You picked up your phone and noticed it was a number you didn't have saved. You usually allowed your clients to give your number out to their friends so it may have been the case.

"Hey this is (Y/N). If this is regarding a tattoo, can you please call again at a better time. It is 2am." You said into your phone, trying to be as polite as you could muster at this hour.

"Why are you up then? Shouldn't you be asleep?" You heard a familiar British voice ask in response and you smiled.

"I was starting to think I offended you or maybe you died. What's up, Simon?" You asked, putting your tablet down. You could hear other voices in the background. You guessed that he was still on the mission that caused him to miss the last appointment he had with you.

"I'm sorry for missing that appointment. Do you think you could possibly tattoo me and my buddies? We wanna get dumb matching tattoos?" While on the surface, it sounded like he hated the idea, but you could tell that he secretly really loved it. He had told you previously about how some of his tattoos were dedicated towards old team members of his who had passed.

"Sounds good to me. You and I can work out a day to continue your sleeve. For this group piece, wanna do like four weeks out? I don't have the book with me. I do know I should be free 'bout a month out." You slightly rambled.

Ghost smiled, nodding along to your words. "Yeah sounds good to me. I can just text you when we get back?" Ghost picked at his thumb again, feeling nervous that you would tell him to keep your relationship more on the business side. "Yeah of course. Now I have your number so I can text you shit about your tattoos." He could tell that you were beaming. He felt his shoulders relax at the thought.

Soap elbowed Ghost and started snickering. "Ghost is in looooove." Ghost quickly thanked you and you two said your goodbyes before Ghost turned to Soap. "I have never seen you so flustered, L.T." Soap leaned forward on his elbows, sighing dreamily. "Shut it."

-

A few weeks had gone by and Ghost opened the door for your shop. The rest of the team followed him inside, all looking around curiously. Ghost nodded at your receptionist. "(Y/N) in? I actually have an appointment for once." Emma smiled at the group. "Course. Let me grab her. Any of you boys need anything? Water, snacks?"

Soon Emma brought you out as well as some snacks and water. You smiled brightly at Ghost and threw your arms around him. "I'm glad you made it back safely. I worked hard on your half-sleeve!" You laughed.

"Price! How's it been? Lemme see the tat. I wanna see how it healed." You moved on to greet Price and Ghost stepped back, allowing you to greet the team. Soon you led the group back to your room.

Since he had been there last, Ghost noticed that you added a few more couches and just general sitting place. He took the one closest to your usual chair, Soap sitting next to him on the coach, Gaz sitting on the tattooing chair, and Price sat on a bench next to the tattooing chair. "Right boys. Let me know what you guys think. I've been doodling." You smiled and flipped your tablet around to show your designs.

Immediately, Ghost smiled. Most of the designs were serious; Skulls similar to his mask, actual grave markers with dog tags, guns shooting out a ghost. Then there were non serious ones; a cartoon ghost, a small group of ghosts who were holding baseball bats. The guys looked over the designs, all smiling and laughing.

"This is some good shit." Soap looked up at you as you were prepping your work station. "Thank you. I work hard for my favorite client." You nodded your head towards Ghost. Thank god he had his mask on because Ghost felt his face heat up. Soap reached over and nudged Ghost.

Price rolled his eyes and grabbed the tablet from Gaz. "I think we all like the design with the gun shooting out the ghost. I do want you to explain the baseball bats." Price looked in your direction. "Ghost team. Baseball team. Therefore, Ghost sports team. Duh. Alright who's first!" You responded, causing the room to erupt into laughter.

You printed out all the stencils and got them all placed on the boys. Price decided to go first and you got his tattoo done quick. It was a relatively simple design so it wasn't had to get done. Ghost was never able to watch you tattoo from this side before. He was always the one being tattoo, not the watcher. Your arms flexed with each line you created. Your eyes squinted when you concentrated. He felt himself relax in your presence like he did every time he heard the hum of your machine.

Gaz was next. He was the only one in the group who did not have a tattoo. "Is it gonna hurt?" He looked at you with big eyes and the rest of the group rolled their eyes. "Dude, you've been shot before. Grow up." Soap groaned. You laughed and started on Gaz's tattoo. Ghost felt himself tense as Gaz tried to get you to comfort him. It was clear the young man was flirting with you.

After you finished Gaz, Soap plopped down and looked at you. "How many do you have? Tattoos I mean." Ghost was thrown off. He had never thought to ask you. He was sure you had tons that had many deep meanings. "Well, I have two full sleeves. I also have a sternum, a few on my rips, I got two matching pieces on both thighs, and some on my back." You recounted. Ghost had seen most of the ones on your arms. When he first came to you, it helped make him feel at home to see that you were somewhat tatted.

Finally, it was Ghost's turn. He decided to put his piece behind his ear, close to his hairline. Each of the boys had picked different spots and this was an intimate spot for him. You adjusted the tattoo chair and patted it. "Alright, your turn." Ghost lied on his back and turned his head. He lifted his mask up enough so you could tattoo the spot, but didn't reveal his face. You placed a hand on his head softly, running a thumb over his forehead. You started on the tattoo and while the hum of the machine was loud, he could still hear Gaz flirting with you.

Ghost clenched his jaw and slightly adjusted his position, not wanting to mess you up. You suddenly also moved to block his view of the team and your hand rest on his jaw. Once you started tattooing again, he heard you whisper something. "Relax, Simon. He's just messing."

The way you tattooed the rest of the team compared to him was completely different. You were gentle with him. You held him softly in a way that no one had before. He had never felt such softness before and he wanted to keep you to himself. He could feel himself falling.

He could feel himself falling in love with you. Hard.

-

Ghost's appointment to continue his sleeve came and he actually was able to make it to this one. He had stopped at the local coffee shop before his appointment to grab your favorite coffee. After the team tattoo, the two of you started talking more. First, it was to plan out his sleeves, but now the lines between professional business had blurred.

Emma smiled when he arrived. "Coffee? Someone's really trying to impress her." She sent the man a wink before nodding back to your room. "She's already back there. Go ahead, Ghost." He nodded at her before heading back to your room. You had just put up curtains, after asking for his advice. He was glad you did, made the room a little more private.

He stepped into the room and smiled. You had a stick of incense burning, leaving a warm feeling in Ghost's stomach. You weren't facing him, in your own world. You had music softly playing and were nodding along to it. You were wearing a pair of black jeans that you had cuffed, a black short sleeve shirt that showed off your tattoos, and a pair of black shoes. You soon turned and noticed Ghost standing at the door.

"Si! Is that coffee?" Your eyes soften as you accepted the cup from him. "You're a life saver. I'll have this after so I'm not shakin' with the machine." You put the cup off to the side and gave Simon a hug. He wrapped his arms around you and all the tension melted away. You tended to have that affect on him.

"Ready to get started?" You adjusted the tattoo chair for him as he sat down. He pulled his sleeve up so you'd have full access. He nodded, looking over at your station. You had the stencil already printed out, ready to be fitted. You lifted it up and started fitting the stencil, cutting small dents into curves to fit his biceps.

"Feeling better?" You asked casually, causing him to look at you confused. "Last time you were in, looked like you were gonna rip the little one's head off."

"Oh..Gaz. I don't know what you mean." Ghost immediately got defensive. You looked at him with an unconvinced glare. "Simon. I'm gonna let this stencil dry and you are gonna sit here and tell me why you almost killed your teammate for flirting with me."

You sat back in your chair and prepped the ink. He looked at you, terrified that he was going to have to admit his feelings. He didn't want the one constant kindness to be ripped from him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want him to make you uncomfortable." He said flatly. You rolled your eyes and turned away from him. "Sure. Cause I was the uncomfortable one."

A silence fell over the room as the stencil finished drying. Ghost watched your movements carefully. He could tell you had a lot on your mind, a lot you wanted to say. As you sat back down and grabbed your gun, he sighed and turned his head away from you. "I'm sorry. I didn't like him flirting with you."

He saw you nod to yourself out of the corner of his eye. "Thank you. Why didn't you like that?" You asked as you leaned closer to him, starting to tattoo him. "Who are you? My therapist?" You smiled again and looked at him. "In a way. You're always relaxed with me. Expect for that day. I wanna know why. If it's what I think it is, then okay."

"What do you think it is then, little miss therapist?" Ghost turned his head towards you. He knew that you could break him down with a single glance and no one else in the world could do that. He would let you though.

"I think you like me. I think that you don't want to share me, because no one has giving this kindness before so you don't want to share." You said it so casually as if it was your coffee order. "Am I right?"

Ghost remained silent, not wanting to confirm for you out loud that you were correct. "It's okay Simon. I don't let all my client have my personal number to text whenever they want. I really like you too, so it's fine that you don't want Gaz to flirt with what's already yours." Your focus then went back to the tattoo.

Ghost was taken aback. He had always been so afraid to be so vulnerable, but around you, it came so naturally. He wanted to show you every side of him. He reached up and slowly pealed the mask off his face.

"Can I kiss you?"

#simon riley x reader #simon 'ghost' riley x reader #simon riley #simon 'ghost' riley #simon ghost riley #ghost x you #ghost #ghost mw2 #ghost x reader #ghost cod #ghost imagine #simon riley imagine #simone riley fluff

[deaddovestellnotales]

BG3 Companions and the Abuse Cycle / Trauma - Astarion

It has been itching in my fingers to write an analysis about the main cast and their trauma (responses). As it happens, Baldurs Gate 3 stumbled into my life at the very time in which I began my trauma recovery, and as such seeing the very struggles I go through represented so well in the game, it will forever hold a dear place in my heart. Alas, enough about me, I will begin my analysis with Astarion, because his trauma (response) is the most like mine, followed by Karlach.

Astarion

From what I can gather of his background, his dialogue, and his actions, Astarion's greatest traumas stem from being controlled and sexually, as well as physically abused. Ever since he had become one of Cazador's Spawns, he had no say about his own life. He was a plaything to be messed with. His opinions did not matter, they were mocked and ridiculed. His boundaries didn't exist to Cazador, neither sexual nor moral ones. Astarion had to live feeling powerless for centuries, made to use his body as a tool for his vampiric abuser.

But that changes when he gets infected by the tadpole. For the first time in so many years, Astarion can make his own choices, can feel in control over himself and his own body. And he relishes in it!

He doesn't want to hold back anymore, he wants to experience everything that was denied to him; The rush of being your own master not being held back by moral obligations, judgments, or most importantly his very nature as a spawn, any longer, is intoxicating.

But Astarion is at the beginning of his trauma recovery journey and suffers from Cazador's bad influence still. So, Astarion doesn't know how to set proper boundaries yet, he doesn't know how to respect other's boundaries either and he enacts what his abuser did to him onto other people. He says he doesn't care about saving others, finds killing fun, and finds hurting other people entertaining if it gives him an advantage. And why? Because this is how Astarion learned to be powerful! Nobody has been kind to him for centuries, or respected a simple word like "No". It's been a big fight, his life is "kill or be killed".

His relationship with his "siblings" is also interesting in that context. He was Cazador's "favorite", reminding me of a Narcissist's golden Child. So even experiencing a healthy relationship with the other spawn was denied to him and this shows as well, as he pities them but he is willing to throw them aside if it means he will gain power (over them).

And if you let Astarion ascend and don't set a good example in his life, by simple respect of his boundaries, he will not break the cycle. He will become Cazador, he will become the abuser.

Now, in contrast, if you respect Astarion's wishes, if you don't force him to do things he doesn't want to do if you stop him from ascending, it is interesting to see his reactions.

For example, if you don't involve yourself with the Drow twins, and read between the lines, recognizing Astarion being uncomfortable, you can see the relief in his facial animation and hear it in his voice (props to the voice actor!), being glad that you are respecting his wishes. Or if you don't rat him out to the blood alchemist in Moonrise Tower (i forgot her name, sorry!), he will be surprised by someone respecting his boundaries for the first time! All those actions change him for the better, the change culminating in his final romance scene - in the case you are dating him - where he will openly state how you showed him that he has a voice even without being all-powerful and abusing others. That you changed him.

Astarion's trauma journey is about learning to set boundaries and using the freedom he has without at the same time becoming what he hates. Astarion's trauma response is fight!

And I find both of these awfully relatable.

There is honestly so much more I want to write about him, but I will save this for another post.

If you want to see where I am going with this about Karlach, await my next rambling post!.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #bg3 astarion

[let-us-cultivate-our-garden]

I say this as a salty fan and not someone trying to be hateful (if it comes off as so please delete this ask), but I don't think Dana deserves Belos. As a villain, he's just too complicated and it sucks seeing his character kinda get ruined.

Personally, I think she does better with one note / one off villains like Tibbles, the inspector from "The First Day", the elderly ladies in the Body Swap episode, the publisher demon and the merchant demon from "Sense And Insensitivity" etc.

With those characters, you can enjoy them because they are meant to be one note, but not Belos.

Honestly, I feel that a lot of the characters remain either one-note or are reduced to one-note characters and it's not just the villains. Willow and Gus barely grow outside of being Luz's friends; they do get mini-arcs of their own but for the most part, they sorta stay in the background so they don't really stand out on their own.

Poor Amity went from a stuck-up perfectionist to Luz's Girlfriend. Once she breaks away from Odalia's influence, her characterization is reduced to just Nice and Kinda Dorky. There's none of that sarcasm or ruthlessness that she had in season 1 and if you're raised by a parent like Odalia, those kinds of attitudes and beliefs don't really go away. Amity may become nicer and more well-adjusted, but her edges have been sanded off, she's just boring.

Hunter was brash and self-confident yet once we learned more about him, his original characterization was replaced with Sad Boy Who Is Also Kinda Dorky. Now, could his cockiness been a mask this whole time? Absolutely. But we don't get much of his old personality Post Heel Turn, instead the show spends an inordinate amount of time traumatizing him and giving him barely enough time to process all that.

Lilith does better in the characterization department, but we still get Cool Aunt Lilith in the end. It seems like if you're a former Bad Guy, you get turned into a dork character to signify that you're no longer a threat and on the Good Guy Team. All of these characters had their edges sanded away and now they're nerds with interests like sci-fi/fantasy or academia.

As for Belos, I feel like the writers never had a real interest in him outside of him being the main villain. But his backstory makes him a complicated character and as we see with the above examples, the writers struggled with distinguishing their characters, let alone handling a nuanced portrayal of villainy.

Sometimes characters outgrow their creators and a character like Belos needed a crew that was actually interested in him in order to bring him to his full potential.

#asks #toh critical #toh criticism #emperor belos #philip wittebane #the owl house

[fourlittleocto]

i'm really bad at headcanons in general so i'm sorry if these are not good, but thank you for the ask! also with midterms i've been super busy so i hope everyone can keep being patient with me, i promise i am working on asks it just might be another week <3

starting with some cute ones (thank you @pyrefection)

dew loves to rub soft stuff on his face. if the closest soft thing happens to be a person, so be it. he doesn't want them to touch him, just let him hold their hand and rub it over his face. this always somehow turns into their fingers in his mouth, since they're softer and nicer than his

with that thought, even though he doesn't need to teethe he still wants to stick everything in his mouth, just to see what it's like. some sort of instinct. however his fear of getting in trouble trumps this need, which means he'll spend way longer than most cgs have patience for crawling over to objects that look good, holding them up, and then pouting when he's told no, he can't put that in his mouth until it either has to be pried out of his weirdly strong grip or mountain (because let's be honest he thinks this is adorable and is the only one who actually tolerates it) gives in and let's him put it in his mouth "but just once dewbug!" it's better that he's doing this when someone's watching anyway, and then he'll never need to try again

dew loves to draw and hates coloring. he doesn't like that he can't control his hands enough to keep it in the lines, especially since little rain is a little ocd and always gives him judgemental stares when they color together. he loves to draw though, and even though they're usually just colorful squiggles aurora (his new favorite caregiver) has taught him how to draw some shapes and to associate certain colors with certain emotions, so he feels like he can communicate when he's drawing and it's really relaxing to his troubled brain

i also love moonbeam's hc that tiny dew loves to clap. it's a movement that's easy, and it's small and loud just like he is, and he knows how to clap sarcastically to get a laugh. whenever anyone in the pack does something stupid he claps and giggles, and it sends aurora into a laughing fit every time.

i put some stuff about dew's childhood/regression under the cut cause it's a little heavy/sad so feel free to skip it

just as background, i think dew goes really small, like usually he can't walk or talk but sometimes he can get as big as 3, where he's toddling, but even then he can't talk cause as a child his parents refused to talk to him so he didn't learn to until he was interacting with other kits. It's part of why now he's really slow at reading and gets frustrated when he has to describe something cause words just don't come easily to him. it's also the reason that when he's tiny he likes to hide, he doesn't want anyone to see him so vulnerable so they can't use it against him. (however, this has made him incredible at hide and seek. one of the older littles or aurora will hold him and follow where he points and they always win)

he also can't drop on purpose, it's entirely trauma/stimuli-based. i definitely think it's something that started for him after the elemental change, but no one except mountain knew about it until aurora was summoned. She mothered him about his attitude while he was big enough times that one night, while in the middle of a bad flashback, he babbled something just coherent enough for mountain to know he was asking for her, so now they trade off taking care of him and know who he needs based on what happened/what kind of mood he's in (it's always bad, but sometimes it's MUCH WORSE than others, and aurora has to take him when he's specifically having elemental change flashbacks cause mountain still has too much attachment to the events and they trigger flashbacks for him too)

either way, since aurora has joined the pack she's helped dew not feel so scared about being small, to the point where even if he can't be with a group of adults, he's able to sit with her and watch little rain and phantom and cumulus play. she's also slowly teaching him to do things that 1 to 2-year-olds are supposed to be able to do, and it's helped him feel like he has a lot of control over it even if he still can't control the action of his mind dropping.

#regressed ghouls #octo sfw #dewdrop ghoul #little dew #ghost headcanons

[http-paprika]

The Deal / Captain John Price

pairing john price x female!reader / wc 1600 / warnings background character death, swearing, brief mentions of depression and trauma from the military, and pregnancy.

summery price had made a promise to keep you safe, but feelings always manage to get in the way.

notes here is the fated price fanfic, not arranged marriage anymore because i hated the first draft (this was take three), but still marriage. similar to my zombie!ghost fanfic, paragraphs in italics are flashbacks/the past. because of that, i put the pairing as just john price x female!reader and not wife!reader because of how the relationship changes.

⋆★⋆ ════ ⋆★⋆ ════ ⋆★⋆ ════ ⋆★⋆ ════ ⋆★⋆ ════ ⋆★⋆ ════ ⋆★⋆

In the safety of his warmth and arms, Price watches her sleep, all the stress and burdens of the day having faded away with rest and with her husband’s touch. He lightly touched her face, brushing away the hairs so he could blissfully stare at her soft face while Price waited for sleep to finally find him. 

 The longer he laid there, sleeplessly, the more his mind wandered and roamed, reminding him of the nights he hadn’t enjoyed. A sting from the memories of their past, their beginning. All the grief and promises he made to her when her father, Price’s commanding officer and mentor, had been killed. The pushing and pulling as he senselessly fought against his own feelings in the name of keeping her safe. 

“No, I’m tired of you saying you care but still keeping me at arm’s length, Price!” She snapped at him, standing opposite Price in his office. He’d provoked the outrage, it had been a long time coming. She’d always been kind enough to accept his indifference, never pushing him into the spotlight. It didn’t matter if they were both aware of their feelings towards each other, Price refused to act upon them, and couldn't possibly drag her down to his level. But she’d tired of his behavior. “I don't need you to act like you know what’s best for me. Like I’m a child in need of guidance— I’m not!” 

 “I know.” He responds back, gritting his teeth and balling his hands into fists. She was right, always right. But Price couldn’t admit it, even as he hurt her further. 

 “Do you? Because that’s exactly how you’re acting!” She accuses him, a finger pointed directly at him. Price wished that this would be the end, that she’d come to her senses and realize he couldn’t possibly be good enough for her. Couldn’t give her the life and love she deserved. After all the near slips, all the times he almost caved in and ignored his own protesting, how many times he’d almost bent to her will. And it scared him senseless. 

 “Because I just ruin things, and I ruin people.” Price finally forced out, turning so he didn’t have to face her. The life he’d chosen was a painful gamble, a constant game of making deals and taking lives. Blood stained his hands, death wasn’t a stranger and Price knew he should’ve been the one who’d been buried years ago instead of the countless soldiers who’d served under him. Price swore that it should’ve been him who’d been gunned down and left in the desert instead of her father. “And you— I made a promise to your father before he died that I would keep you safe. But I can’t do that, I’m just going to hurt you.” 

 Deflated, he finally turns back to look at her. To take in the flame in her eyes and the setting of her jaw. “I mistook you for a smarter man, Price.” Her words and tone were like knives straight to the chest, slicing him deep and open. It was what he deserved,

 “I know, I’m—“ 

“I don’t want your half-assed apology, Price. And I don’t need you looking after me anymore.” 

There was a flood of guilt in his chest as she left the room. Bitter hatred towards himself, but he had to do it. It was for the better, Price convinced himself as he lit a cigar and tried not to think of the hurt in her voice. This was the punishment he deserved, and god he hoped she’d get what she deserved, got everything she wanted. Love, a good life, the kids she’d spoken about having before. 

Price was startled as his wife shifted unexpectedly, reaching over and turning the lamp on, rubbing her face. His hands moved to hold onto her body as Price watched for any sign of something troubling her. 

 “What’s wrong, love?” He murmured as she rubbed away the remaining sleep on her face. 

 “Sorry if I woke you.” She mumbled, hands moving down to rub the growing bump on her stomach. “Just too uncomfortable.” 

 “Don’t apologize to me about it, wasn’t even asleep. What can I do to help?” He asks, beginning to massage her back, rubbing tight circles to help ease the discomfort. 

 “Just need a moment.” Price nods, pressing a kiss on her shoulder, enjoying as she lets out a sigh. “How come you weren’t asleep?” 

 “What?”

“You said you hadn’t been asleep. Why?” She asks, glancing down at him with worry and adoration. He could feel himself practically melting under her gaze. 

 “Just got busy thinking.” He said, pressing another kiss against her skin. “About us and how good you are at knocking some sense into me. And how foolish I was to deprive myself of you for so many years.” 

 “Well, you came around eventually.” She smirks as he moves, so his gaze is leveled with hers. “Now look at us.” 

Nights had been rough, and sleepless. The guilt had become too much to bear, chewing him up and spitting him out. Those directly under him in his team had begun to notice the change, to question and interrogate him on his behavior and disheveled state. And he didn’t have the strength or humility to tell them the truth. 

 Eventually, he drove himself out of his office and off base, wandering aimlessly through a nearby park, shuddering against the frosty cold. Burying his hands in the pocket of his coat, he walked along the frozen lake, teeth chattering, head spinning. Then out of the mist, like a bad dream or apparition, Price saw her freeze as she spotted him, wearing the soft leather jacket that used to be his, the one he’d left at her apartment months before when Price left in a hurry. 

 “Price.” She kept her distance, keeping her gaze cold and fixed on him. Disbelief washed over him as he stared at her, wondering how she could even acknowledge him at this point. His mouth dried up, throat clogged and Price felt like falling to his knees and groveling for forgiveness, maybe if he begged she’d at least come to tolerate him. 

 “I’m a fucking fool,” Is all he manages to choke out. Price had always had a way with words in the past, but looking at her, craving the feeling of her warmth. It was apparent, clear, his feverish need for her to be by her side. The loneliness he’d felt without the sound of her laughter and voice, or how unsettling it felt to go on runs without her pushing him to go further. “And it’s not fair to you that it took me so long to come to my senses. Or that I treated you the way I did, pushing you away. I was terrified of losing you, and then I still lost you. I’m sorry,” 

 He almost expected her to berate him, curse his name, and cause him to bleed. She stood silently, facing the frozen lake, keeping her arms wrapped around her.

 “Love?” Price stepped slowly over to her, waiting for an indicator that he was making her uncomfortable. But she never flinched away as he reached out, placing his hands on her arms. “Don’t spare my feelings, tell me to fuck off if that’s what you want.” 

 Looking down at her, Price noticed the glassy look in her eyes, listened to her stifled breathing, and watched the warm air leave her mouth in a puff against the icy cold. Without a thought Price pulled her close to his chest, wrapping his arms around her and enveloping her warmth. 

 “I’m sorry.” He murmured, pressing his cheek against the top of her head, her hands clutched the material of his jacket as she began to cry. “I’m so sorry.” 

 They’d both settled back again, the worst of her aching having subsided. Price kept his arms wrapped around her, a calloused hand settled on her stomach. “Comfortable now?” 

 “Much better.” She nodded, pressing her cheek into his neck. Skin to skin, fighting against the cold air as they stayed pressed into each other under the blankets. “You know, I was a bit foolish too.” 

“What you? Foolish? Absolutely not, love.” Price argues, not hearing a word of it. 

 “If I had an ounce of self-respect from the beginning, I would’ve never given you a single chance.” He shook his head, chuckling at her teasing. “I should’ve known a man with a mustache like this was trouble.” She says, her hand coming up to brush the thicker facial hair.

 “Oi— don’t bash the mustache, you love it. Like the feel of it against your face when I kiss you.” He said, before kissing her quickly. “And when it’s—“ 

“Don’t even finish that sentence, Johnathan Price. I’m too tired to deal with it.” She stated, lightly swatting at him as he continued to chuckle and kept pressing kisses over her face. 

 “Tomorrow then?” 

“John,” She groaned in response, trying to pry herself free of his grasp, as he continued to laugh. He presses another kiss on her forehead, his thumb brushing against her cheek. 

 “I love you.” Price whispers to her, holding her gaze. “I’m the luckiest man for getting a second chance, and for getting to marry and have a kid with you.” There were still days he felt undeserving of her adoration and love. But those days had become less frequent, and Price knew if he ever voiced those doubts, she’d remind him of the truth. Hold him in her arms, pepper kisses on his skin, and remind Price that he was who she wanted. No one else would do. Just him.

#call of duty #cod mw #cod price #captain price x reader #price x reader #john price #captain price #john price cod #poll fanfic #fanfiction

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Hearts Dont Break Around Here

Part two to Hearts Do Break Around Here

Warnings; Angst! Eddie is clueless but he soon pulls through, jealous reader, jealous Eddie, pining, Robin is so done with this shit 👀👀

If you enjoyed this pls consider giving it a reblog. It's much appreciated 💞🙂

I don't give anyone permission to copy my work.

The minute Eddie and Chrissy began dating they looked like the perfect fit and it hurt your aching heart.

Eddie didn't know how you felt though and you were going to keep it that way and be happy for him.

Knowing now he doesn't feel the same about you was cathartic in a way. At least now you could move on.

It would be painful but it could be done eventually...

The landline rings and you know who it is without having to answer. It was Eddie.

He was full of excitement at dating Chrissy, and hearing about it crushed you inside.

There were only so many times you could listen to him idolizing her and right now your heart needed a break.

He would most likely be with Chrissy at some point of the night anyway and as much as you tried to hate her you couldn't.

She was actually one of the nicer people at Hawkins High. You let the phone ring out and curl back into bed.

You wished things were different but they never would be.

The phone rings again and you answer it knowing Eddie won't give up or he will worry that you're sick or something.

"Hey, sweetheart. Are you free tonight? Nightmare on elm street is showing at the cinema at 8pm"

You consider this but hear Chrissy giggling in the background and your heart sinks.

"Im busy Eds, you should take Chrissy," you tell him encouraging and he pauses.

"She's not a big fan of horror movies, plus I haven't seen you much in days" you squirm with guilt.

"You and Chrissy have just started dating. I don't want to hang around being the third wheel, I'll see you tomorrow at Hellfire okay?"

It was true what you said. He didn't need you being a third wheel and you had no intention of being one.

Or seeing Eddie and Chrissy being all lovey dovey. As much as you wanted your best friend to be happy there was a limit to what your heart could take.

💞💞

Tyler Jackson was used to getting his own way and getting what he wanted and what he wanted was you.

It was weeks ago he had noticed you but Munson kept cockblocking him whenever he tried to get near you. He was always by your side.

Now he was dating Chrissy it was time that he could make his move.

He saw you sitting far away from Munson at the Hellfire table, Munson looking like a confused puppy as he tried to get your attention for longer than a few seconds

Hmm, maybe he could join this club, and get closer to his goal of banging you while pissing off that freak Munson.

It was a perfect plan if he did say so himself and he heads over to the table to make himself known.

💞

Eddie had been more than happy for Tyler to join Hellfire Club, sure the dude needed some pointers but that could all be sorted out.

It took only until the end of the session for Eddie to regret that decision. Tyler was interested in one certain aspect of Hellfire.

You. He couldn't take his eyes off you and you giggled at his jokes. Like, come on! They weren't even that funny.

His positive impression of him took a nosedive and he told himself it was to with the fact he ruined a good Hellfire session.

It was absolutely nothing to do with the hungry look in his eyes when he looked at you, not one bit.

It didn't take a genius to figure out the guy was only after getting you in his bed and he had to wrestle the violent urge that came over him to hit the guy.

This unnerved Eddie because he wasn't a violent person, he never wanted to be like his old man.

Maybe he would just kill his d&d character off instead...

💞🙂

Eddie hasn't seen you all week due to the fact you were with Tyler.

When he called you last night you were with Tyler, he could hear you laughing at something he said and he felt his stomach squirm with jealousy.

Because you were his best friend and you had only laughed like that around him until Tyler came along.

When you weren't around Tyler made his presence known and asked Eddie all about you and what you liked.

There was a glint in Tyler's eyes that he didn't like and he was really beginning to dislike the guy, even more than Carver which he never thought possible.

Even Jason seemed to hate him and that stunned Eddie that he had something in common with Jason.

Even more surprising was when Jason took him aside after class watching you with Tyler with a frown on his face.

"Look, I know we can't stand each other Munson but even I'm not much of an asshole where I wouldn't speak up and leave someone to get hurt"

Curious Eddie steps forward to listen.

"Tyler, he's after yn now and he's well known for sleeping around then bragging about it, making shitty rumors about the person he's slept with. Keep an eye on yn because he's scum"

A red mist descends over Eddie and he glares at Tyler.

Like hell was that fucker hurting you not if Eddie could help it. Tonight he was going to talk to you.

💞💞

Eddie didn't expect the talk to fail so badly but it did. He kinda just blurted out that he didn't like Tyler and everything went to hell from there.

"So because he is interested in me he is automatically bad? Am I that ugly to you" his eyes widen.

"It's about Tyler. I don't like him... he's only after one thing from you, to sleep with you and I don't like it"

The look you gave him was the reason the saying if looks could kill was made and he swallows.

"No, that's not what I mean at all sweetheart" he tried to reason with you because he didn't mean that in the way you thought but you were too hurt to listen.

"What if I wanted to sleep with Tyler? Did you ever think of that?" your words stun him and he finds it difficult to breathe.

He suddenly feels pain everywhere and he swallows.

"Do you?" he chokes out and you shake your head.

"No, but just because you've never noticed me doesn't mean no one ever could Edward Munson"

Shit... you just used Edward. You were beyond pissed at this point and he watches you go with a sinking feeling in his heart.

Tyler smirks.

"Way to go Munson" he gives Eddie a thumbs up and Steve has to grab his Denim vest to stop him from flying at the asshole.

"Don't worry I'll make sure to comfort her real good" Tyler calls back to him and he can't speak from the anger he feels.

He storms after him with Dustin and Steve on his heels but soon stops in his tracks as he sees Tyler with his arm around you and sitting close to you... very close.

His heart hammers in his chest when his lips press to your hair and you wipe your tears away. He doesn't even notice Chrissy watching him with a look of understanding on her face.

She takes his hand and motions for him to come and talk, he doesn't realize that the heartache is written all over his face.

"Shit" he whispers and wipes his eyes, what's wrong with him?

"Eddie...

"I can't stand him Chrissy, I feel like I'm losing my best friend because of him and I hate it" she softens and squeezes his hand.

"Eddie. You don't realize, do you? That you love yn" he stares at Chrissy baffled.

"Of course I do" she smiles at him and shakes her head.

"I mean like in love with yn" he feels his heartbeat quicken and he shakes his head.

No that isn't right... he loves you as a friend but then that doesn't explain why he wants to punch out Tyler for putting his slimy hands anywhere near you.

He's always been protective of you... thought you were perfect, his source of happiness and safety but that's just friendly feelings right?

Chrissy smiles.

"You're a great guy Eddie, I like you but it's not going to work out in the long run and I'm not going to stand in the way of two people who are so obviously meant to be together. Don't fuck this up okay"

She leaves and he is processing so many emotions. You've left, possibly to go with Tyler and he feels sick to his stomach.

Steve and Robin have been watching the unfolding drama with Dustin, Lucas and Mike, he's just about you say something when Robin storms towards him and hits him very hard with a slap to the back of the head.

"Why are you so clueless? Do you want her to be with Tyler?" he backs away because she looks livid and she is kinda scary when she's mad.

"Fuck, no" Robin nods then points to Steve as if to say well what about him. He shakes his head vigorously.

He likes Steve but it was still a no. The thought of you being with anyone made his stomach sour.

💞💞

Shit. He really was in love with you.

"She loves you Eddie and I swear to God if you don't go and confess that you love her which you totally do because it's damn obvious. I will personally kick your ass"

Dustin and Steve hold back their laughter and he nods. Ready to get you to be his and get away from Robin's killer gaze.

Tyler had been trying to do more than kiss for the last ten minutes. At first, you thought kissing him would make you feel better but it was the exact opposite.

"I can't do this. You should go, please" you pull away and he tries to hide his annoyance but you catch the look anyway and rub your head feeling the beginning of a migraine.

He mutters under his breath about you being a cocktease and just as you are about to say something your door flies open and Eddie rushes inside.

"You can have yn dude. Should warn you though, the word cocktease comes to mind" Eddie looks between you and him and then punches Tyler in the mouth.

💞😊

You are ready to intervene in case he retaliates but to your surprise, he rushes out cursing the both of you under his breath.

Then it's just the two of you alone and you aren't sure what to say. Tears blur your vision and Eddie cups your cheek looking worried.

"Shit! please don't cry" your skin tingles where he is caressing it and you move away feeling sick with yourself. He had Chrissy, he wasn't yours.

"Shouldn't you be with Chrissy?" you ask and he shakes his head.

"She broke up with me" this is something you weren't expecting and immediately you turn to him and give him a hug.

"Oh, Eddie, I'm sorry" you truly were because you knew how much he liked her.

"It was more a mutual thing sweetheart" this confuses you because he was so happy to be dating her so what the hell happened?

"I broke your heart, didn't I? going out with Chrissy? I thought about it on the way here and I had the idea that you love me. Am I wrong?" his big brown eyes are so genuine and sweet that you nod.

"Yes, how did you figure it out" he smiles a little bit.

"May have had a little help with Robin. Fuck, she's scary, isn't she? She never gets angry but when she does... he shudders.

"She's protective" you murmur and he grins.

"She is" his smile dims and he moves closer to you. "You never answered my question if I broke your heart baby?"

You can only nod just a fraction because you have no idea where he is going with this...

"That makes the world's biggest dingus but if you let me I'd like to be the one to put your heart back together and then keep it forever. For you to be mine. Always"

His sweet confession stuns you but it doesn't because deep down you know he was jealous of Tyler but didn't want to let yourself hope.

"I'm here because I am a dingus, who is very much in love with you," he tells you earnestly and you giggle.

"You really do pick your timings, Eddie, you couldn't have figured that out ages ago" you tease.

"Needed a knock to the head didnt I?" he grins then pulls you closer to him.

"If you give me a chance, let me love you I promise you will never regret it"

That's when you take the leap and kiss him, it's everything you've ever dreamed of and Eddie has a lovestruck expression on his face as you pull away.

Right there you knew in your heart that Eddie was going to be the love of your life for the rest of your life.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x best friend reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson

[4awny]

Anxiety.

Not that Cartman had much of a long attention span anyway, but Kyle was getting on his nerves. He interrupted him loudly, "Oh my god shut up." He said with a flat tone. "I saved your fucking life, Broflovski. You owe me a favour."

"I don't owe you shit." Kyle made a decent effort to suppress his anger. "What makes you think I owe you something?"

"Because you do." Cartman reflected on his question, giving it some serious thought. "Because I don't help people I don't care about. If I do, it's because I know they'd do the same for me. By definition, that's called loyalty."

Emotional blackmail, Kyle preferred to call it, seeing only bad intentions. "So what if they don't want it? Or they don't feel the same way? What then?"

Cartman narrowed his eyes. "You do feel the same way."

"No, I don't. I hate you." Kyle said.

A wicked smirk laid present on Cartman's lips. "You've got a fucked up way of showing it." He uttered and then got to his feet. He dropped the towel somewhere by the sink and forgot to turn the light off as he left the room. He went back to the bedroom. "Wendy, now that's someone you hate. You hate her so bad and it's so obvious to everyone but you."

"First of all, I don't hate her. Secondly, if it's so obvious, why hasn't Stan said anything to me?"

Cartman dropped his phone on the bed and could be heard muttering, you clearly don't know him, in the background.

"What did you say?" Kyle asked irritably.

"I said you clearly don't fucking know him then, do you?" Cartman's head popped in view and there was more gravel in his voice. "Jesus fucking Christ, listen. Stan doesn't care. Stan doesn't care about anything. How can you not see that already." He vanished to go back to doing what he was doing, which was walking around the glass and pondering what he should be doing it with. "Wendy's always been too good for him, I don't know why it took her so long to see it, in my humble opinion."

Kyle couldn't understand where this was coming from. "What the hell are you talking about? All you ever do is talk shit about her?"

"Well, yeah. Stan's my fucking friend, I'm obviously on his side. That's literally retarded. I think Wendy's a stupid bitch for what she did, but I get why she did it. Stan isn't aware of anything going on outside his own head, so it's his own fault. Maybe it'll teach him a lesson. Like, I get it. You're depressed. But can you at least make the fucking effort to listen to me talk about something? It's fucking rude and I think, what's the point. What is the point? Right? We both know it, just no-one says it."

It pained him to say it, but Kyle understood very well. "Right." He agreed quietly.

"Whenever this happens, you know what happens? Me and you sit back and let Kenny do all the work." It made Cartman feel good to finally confront his thoughts out loud. "And that's because you and I, we feel the same about it. We're built different."

"Is that what you really think?" Kyle asked him.

"Yeah, that's what I really think. You wanna know what else I think?"

"Go ahead." Kyle swallowed.

"I don't think you like it when other people are in relationships. I don't like it either. Everything is fucked up when there's a girl involved. Look at Wendy. Whenever she's around us, I have to watch what I say. Okay, she's hot. And she's smart, which are two reasons why I can tolerate her. You though? You don't tolerate her at all. You always deny it too, like why? Just own it. But you won't. Heh. That's a common trait of yours. Denial." Cartman snickered some more and then grabbed his phone to see Kyle's expression, which wasn't currently in view.

"Yeah, and you think about me way too much." Kyle said, just after clenching his jaw. "That's common trait of yours. Obsession." He reappeared on screen with an irritating grin on his face.

The brunette stared at it and didn't react. He studied Kyle's smile for a few seconds longer than he needed to. "At least I'm not in denial about it." He remarked, slowly grinning with him. Kyle couldn't hold his laugh and looked away when he did. This kind of reaction made Cartman a little happier. Kyle responded in the only way he knew how to, which included a few harmless insults and of course, refusing to accept that what Cartman was saying had some truth to it.

Chapter 29 - Anxiety

#south park #kyman #eric cartman #kyle broflovski #cartman x kyle

[vampykween]

HI MICCC :3 hope you are well!! i’ve been brainrotting about ur singledad!simon and here’s a list of scenarios nd thoughts that’s been plaguing my mind

what if poppy got into a fight at school? the fight was short because you pulled them apart almost instantly - but she still got her hair pulled and a scratch on her cheek, and poppy knows from simon that fighting isn’t the best option, but when simon answers your call and hears poppy’s crying in the background, how would he react!!

the way kids like to overshare and have no filter, i can see poppy casually telling you stuff like “yeah my daddy has no friends” or “daddy doesn’t talk much”.. and then when simon comes to pick her up, maybe you two have a small convo and you accidentally slip up and mention what poppy’s told you about him.. then he looks and poppy and you like 🤨what else did you hear..

Oklfldldg how does simon do father daughter nights! is he the type to play competitively in games with her or does he always let her win? does he like taking her out to eat or does he prefer cooking at home :3

AAAA okay last one i promise:3 how do the other kids react to poppy’s behemoth of a dad? are they scared? do they think he’s a mafia boss of some sort? or do they find him incredibly awesome and think he’s a giant from those action movies

(ofc u don’t have to do all of them if u don’t want to OR if u don’t want to spoil anything for the series, just some thoughts! take ur time<3)

hi bby! i am very well right now actually and this made things even better, i could kiss your brain truly mwah <3

i will be saving these ideas because this gave me much needed inspiration and motivation for this series. also sorry if i didnt go as in depth with these, but the longer they sat in my drafts i realized i was never going to remember to finish oops! also i hope you dont mind i will be stealing the oversharing poppy idea if fits perfectly with what i have going for part 3 hehe

✴︎ I feel like simon would be fuming, at whom he’s not even sure. I imagine that some kid said something rude and snarky to her and she couldn’t take it anymore and popped on them, and you’re shocked because poppy is normally such a sweet little girl. Simon would definitely hug poppy close because seeing his baby hurt cuts like a knife, takes her out for ice cream and then chides her because omg! has she lost her mind fighting at school, but also he’s a tiny bit proud she’s a fighter like him. 

✴︎No because Poppy would most definitely do this, in her head she’s just rattling off mundane things about her father, but you’re sporting a frown because there’s a tiny part of you that hates the idea of Simon being alone with just poppy. Not that it’s any of your business though (you would definitely have to remind yourself of that).

Simon is groaning at his daughter’s perceptive nature and how willing she is to share every thought she has. When you waved him over to where you were during school pick up, Simon was praying something bad hadn't happened.  “Mr. Riley, err Simon, sorry.” you correct yourself quickly at the raised eyebrow look he gives you. “Is everything okay… like at home?” you’re mentally face palming at the way you blurted out the very intrusive question. You sense his shock by the question by the almost imperceptible widening of his eyes. “Why-” he looks down at Poppy who’s swinging her tiny hand in his, not paying any attention to the conversation you two are having, “What did she say to you?” You wring your hands nervously, the older man’s deadpan stare makes  you feel like you’re in trouble for some reason. “Poppy mentioned to me that you don't have any friends or talk much to anybody. I don't mean to pry, really I swear. Kids will tell you anything, i'm sure you know. After what happened with the family tree thing and-” You're cut off by Simon’s large hand settling on your shoulder, clearly an attempt to calm you down and halt your rambling, but it has the opposite effect and all you can think about is how enormous his hands are and the weight of it grasping you.  “No need to apologize, Poppy talks my ear off about you. I’d be surprised if she didn’t talk to you about things. And you don't need to worry about me, luv. Im fine being alone, i've got my little petal and that’s enough f’me.” There’s an aura of wistfulness in his words, that makes you want to push him for a more truthful answer, but you chide yourself at your thoughts. You barely know this man. Whatever longing you think is in his voice may as well be a projection of your own sadness; a failed long term relationship will do that to a person. 

✴︎Definitely loves to play games but does not let Poppy win because he wants her to learn how to lose and be okay with it. (You would applaud this btw, this is every teachers’ dream. Trust me on that). Their father-daughter nights also will be movie nights with as many sweets as poppy desires because Simon won't bend to anything but her little puppy dog eyes. I feel like even though he’s not the best cook ever Simon would go out of his way to cook Poppy’s favorites for her. Especially like on a saturday morning and wakes her up with breakfast in bed because why not spoil his little girl if he can. 

✴︎I think it's a mix of both really. I imagine Poppy goes to some nice fancy school because why not lol. And some of Poppy's classmates have snooty rich parents who turn their noses up at Simon so their kids are kinda wary of him too. I think Poppy would hype up her dad so much at recess time. Telling stories of how he used to be a ‘super cool soldier’ and all the other kids would be staring in awe like omg your dad is so cool, my dad just does people’s taxes lol.

#mic answers #second chances au #oc: poppy #i lied please bless me with the motivation to actually finish the parts for this series... #i have too many half started drafts ughhhhh

[dancingupontheclouds]

the goddess and the fly

or: a woman that is jealous of the liveliness of a fly.

a/n: please do not steal my work, republish and/or claim as yours. thank you. <3

Darkness surrounds me. It is silent as I breathe it in; let it consume me. My room is messy but it doesn't smell. There is only one thing rotting in my room. I can't bear to look at it. I've broken all the mirrors. There's nothing, yet everything is too much. That is when I notice her. She announces herself with a faint buzz in the background. My neck cracks and hurts as I peel my staring eyes from the ceiling.

Right at the bright gap below the blinds, she crashes stupidly into window again, again, and again. I see her trying. I watch her failing. I witness her sense for survival; the instinct to live and it makes me wonder if an unconscious, dumb, fought-for life is as valuable as my conscious, aching, unwanted one. My jaw tightens. She annoys me. How did she get in her in the first place? It's her fault. She doesn't need to bother me with her struggle.

But she tries again just to bump into glass once more. I could open the window, let her out, set her free, spare her life but she wouldn't know. She wouldn't make me her God. She wouldn't pray for-- to me. So I don't.

My gaze is stuck on her, rapid eyes following her movements and I'm livid. Why won't she just give up, fall to the floor, curl up and die? At what point does an instinct become a will? She becomes slower, her buzzing suddenly a low, soothing sound. My angry heart feels heavy as she lands on the window to rest, the buzzing gone. Good.

One of my fingers reaches out to touch her, slowly. I don't know why. Startled, she takes off with a panicked buzz, crashes into every wall, every corner, every crevice of my room in seconds and I cover my ears and squeeze my eyes shut because I cannot take it; cannot stand to hear her fighting for her life when it's so insignificant. I roll on my side to face the wall and when I open my eyes again, she is right there. We're eye to eye and the longer I look at her, the more I think I can see her breathing, gasping for life. My eyes shift a little to the left, her right, and the window is there, still closed. As we look at each other, I soften at the sight of the little creature depending on the mercy of the woman in front of her. “I'm sorry”, I whisper. It must have been hell for her. This time, she crawls down the wall, closer to me and I ponder whether it is trust or coincidental. How similar can we be? Maybe we are alike. The little fly stops and tiredly rubs her front legs together to get the dirt off her, free herself from my room, wash me off her. Even in her rough state she gets ready to taste life again, to expand her palette like the greedy, stupid animal she is. We are not the same.

She is a fly and I am a woman. She cannot think which is all I do. She wants to live and I hate her for it.

So naturally, she doesn't expect it when my flat palm hits her fragile body. A loud slap hisses through the room, echoes in my ears, when she bursts beneath my skin.

When I take my hand away, I expect her to fall, except she doesn't. She sticks to the wall in a bloody mush.

Her blood graces my palm, a reminder of life just millimetres above my own veins. Even in death she is more alive than me. The thought of lapping it up to indulge her spirit – make it mine – crosses my mind before my face pulls together in disgust and I wipe the rest of her next to her crushed, bleeding body. Now there's two things rotting in my room and for a second I think of getting up and wiping her away, to cease her existence forever, to flush her down the drain for she is the reminder of my ungodly, jealous soul and I think that maybe breathing it in, consuming all that darkness, I've sucked it out of this room completely and have become it as I turn away to face the ceiling again.

#zo's literature #zo's poetry #theflyandthegoddess #original poem #poetry #short story #the fly and the goddess

[originalgenshinscenarios]

Monthly special: Variable Barricade crossover!

I kept worrying about the word count and then I thought "hold on a moment, earlier 4k words was because I tried to give every suitor a time to shine! So this having less than 3k isn't bad!". So that's what I'll believe lol... Hope you enjoy it!

If you want to join the taglist just send an ask or dm me!

Reader here is female and has established background.

Cw: Age gap (Reader is 18 and the ladies are ages 20-24)

|First Chapter|

<= Previous chapter | Next chapter=>

With how everything was going on lately you don't feel too relaxed… fighting your feelings and making appearances finally started to take a toll on you.

Fortunately, Miko has a solution.

Miko's part one: chapter 1- Fluffy therapy.

You're back home again. Going from your one responsibility of studying to shifting to your duty of finding a wife among your suitors. Each day someone else is greeting you, today was Miko's "turn".

"You poor thing. You look exhausted" although she was clearly teasing you, her voice had it's tone of worry.

"Care to tell me something I'm not aware of?" you sarcastically snap back.

"What a coincidence that you've asked. I made plans for us today" her smug smile was very taunting, but you didn't respond to that "I know that you'd like to be informed in advance but… I feel like having less order will do you good" she took her hand out for you to accept.

You wanted to say how lack of order is only bound to make you more stressed, but you also had promised Thoma and Ayaka to try and be less hostile around them.

With some hesitation, you take her hand. She was clearly satisfied with your non-verbal answer and the two of you went upstairs to the second floor where your suitors had their rooms.

Being alone with Miko in her room did make you flustered, but you weren't going to panic, not yet at least.

"So why did you bring me here?" you ask as you look around. Her room was simple and yet it had that luxurious feeling to it.

"Sit down and I'll tell you about it" she went to her wardrobe and took out a box. She didn't open it right away as she started speaking "I've noticed that even though you're getting used to us, you're still pretty stressed all the time. I'd like to help you" she sat down next to you "I figured now would be the perfect time for me to show you that I'll give you something the other three can't"

You hate how indirect she was with her words as your mind started wondering what exactly could she possibly mean "Go on" you ask her to finish.

"Quite impatient one aren't you?" she chuckles as she opens the box "It's what I believe will help you relax. Working with writers really gave me a lot of ways to help someone forget their struggles and from what I've tried, I believe this will help"

She takes out a pillow. It's shaped like a fox tail and is just looks so fluffy to touch… "I don't get how this will help" you pretend not to be intrigued.

"Trust me, it works. Just close your eyes and pet it" giving you directions, she put the box away.

For a moment you do as she tells you to. The longer you do it, you could feel some tension leaving you. You start to clear your mind and start to feel warm as you lean to relax further. It was soft… Really soft. Miko really must've invested in great quality cushions as you feel a bit different when you lean down a little on the couch instead of sitting straight up.

Then you slightly open your eyes and you notice that you've leaned on Miko this entire time. Her arms were gently embracing you and you flinched the moment you saw what situation you were in "And who told you you could do that!?" you snap at her as you could feel how hot your cheeks were getting.

"It was you who leaned on first, I only played along" although she was serious she couldn't help but chuckle at your reaction "But you must admit that you managed to unwind even for just a little hm?"

"You're the worst" you pout before standing up and leaving the room. But Miko didn't seem bothered by that, as she didn't follow after you left.

-

When walking back downstairs you were quickly spotted by Thoma. He seemed concerned as he was by your side almost immediately "Lady Y/N… is everything okay?"

You take a deep breath to calm down, you don't want to worry Thoma, nor do you want to admit to literally running away from your suitor "Yes, everything is completely fine"

Your butler continued speaking to you, but your mind was still with Miko. Her comforting embrace, warmth it all made it impossible to stay focused because the only thing you can think about is how much you miss it. And she was right, it did made you feel relaxed. Perhaps that's why you wish to be with her once again. Wait what? Why are you thinking like that?

"Y/N..?" hearing him call out to you made you snap back to reality.

"Oh- sorry Thoma, could you repeat that?" it was embarrassing to be so inattentive… but it was all Miko's fault!

"I was asking if you'd like to eat something" he didn't seem all that bothered that you've ignored him.

-

Next day when you came back, it was Miko who greeted you again. You were surprised and yet you tired to appear tough… even though Miko read you like a book

"Oh dear, you look like you have a fever…" she tried reaching her hand out to you.

"I don't have it, thanks for worrying. Bye" you quickly say before rushing upstairs.

Ever since that, your situation with Miko looked like that every day. Of course her teasing was different each time but the pattern was the same. You cut every conversation short. Still, she seemed to have an odd sense of satisfaction whenever you basically ran from her blushing.

It didn't help no matter what you did, you thought back on her embrace. You want to experience it again. It really helped, you felt less tense. If not for your reaction you figure that you'd enjoy it even more. But now it was time for your pride to stand in the way. You can't possibly ask her about it directly… so it was time to consult someone about it.

You're talking to Ayaka who carefully listened to your full story "Oh my, congratulations Y/N. You managed to get out of your comfort zone, even if for just a little" she sounded proud.

"I just- ugh. I reacted so strongly she'd definitely make fun of me if I were to ask her to make those fluffy therapy sessions into a habit" you can only think about what she'd say…

-

"Miko, I apologize for my outburst earlier. I want to continue what I stopped" after asking you'd be met with her teasing smirk "Oho~ do you really admit it already? You agree that you need me~?" She'd lift your chin up "Just say yes and I'll make sure to make you a happy girl indeed~" her voice, her gaze… everything would be almost hypnotic-!

-

You snap back from your "fantasies" as you really don't know what else to call whatever your imagination just tortured you with... Helplessly looking at Ayaka, you feel dumb that you're asking her for advice so often as of late.

"But don't you think being indirect would make it even worse?" She suggests.

You think for a moment.

-

"Miko… I think your method wasn't performed how it should've been. We must try again at once and fix those mistakes" although you'd try to sound confident your body language would betray you.

"Such a cute excuse. Fortunately for you, it makes you adorable so I won't complain" she'd take your hand "But since you already said that method is faulty I do have a few other methods in mind" and you could only wonder what imaginary Miko meant by that.

-

"Right… Then what do I do?" it's really impossible, you can't think of anything that will let you keep some of your pride. Even if what you ask for is a ticket to be more vulnerable.

"I'm sorry but I really can't think of anything besides just talking to her" Ayaka looked sad about the fact that she can't help you. But you were more bothered by your helplessness rather than Ayaka's inability to help "It's okay, I really shouldn't burden you with having to help me out all the time"

"Burden? What a silly thought! I'd never think of you as such" her sweet smile was just everything "I'm happy that you aren't afraid to rely on me"

"If you say so" you smile back at her, you were really lucky to have such a friend.

"Now I can't really help you with your situation… but I believe in you! I'm sure you'll figure something out" with her words you felt motivated.

-

Yet as you walk through the door and look at Miko, all of your courage jumps out of the window.

|I need to push forward! (Romance)|

Just how long are you going to let yourself stay in one place? It really is pathetic how you just let yourself be held back by your pride all the time.

"Miko" you speak up before her, earning her curiosity "I.." you trail off, your gaze not being focused on the woman before you. It was tough but you finally said "I want us to continue what where we left off last time"

|I really need a break… (Reason)|

Snap out of it! You can't let an opportunity to touch that fluffy tail pass just like that!

"Hello Y/N, how was your day?" she challenged you with the way she looked at you as she asked that question.

"It was bad enough" you don't care anymore about her teasing "Can we try that thing again with the fox tail pillow?" you sigh, signaling that you really need this. Even though asking about it is what let your mind be so tired to begin with.

-----

"Of course" she chuckles "I thought it'd take you much longer to say it, good job Y/N" she patted your head. It felt infuriating… but right now all you cared about was to sit down, relax and forget about everything around you.

You went back to her room and at first you felt a little bit awkward. But with time you stopped being so aware of your situation. Which Miko noticed, but she didn't say anything about it, she was glad that she gets to see you like this.

"You can come to me whenever you need it Y/N" unlike her previous tone, what she had said now felt genuine. It was different from any of your previous interactions with Miko, and you can't say that you hate this side of her…

"Can I really..?" you know that it's just a tactic to get close to you. But honestly, what's the shame in it when you both benefit from it?

"I wouldn't offer it to you if I didn't mean it. But I can't promise that I won't have a little fun of my own whenever you'd ask" there she goes with more of her teasing again…

"I suppose that's a fair price to pay for this" you continue playing with the tail. And should you actually pick Miko, it'd be good to practice getting some resistance against her teasing… wait why are you considering it?

You shake off the thought, you'd do it regardless of which suitor you'd be with. So it has less to do with Miko and more with your comfort. That's right…

-

After your arrangement, it wasn't something you were keeping much a secret. Anyone could see you sneaking into Miko's room every once in a while. It got the others curious.

"Miko" Eula got her attention "Care to explain why is it that Y/N keeps visiting your room?" she didn't sound like she was scolding her, more like she was curious.

"I don't think I need to explain myself. I'm just doing what I am supposed to. Given that we compete against each other I only see less reasons to share what's happening between us" she was smug about it.

"That's fair, hm… I'll have to make a move myself to not stay behind" Ningguang mumbled to herself.

"It looks like Y/N goes to you voluntarily, so it's not like we can object to whatever is talking place" Eula said with a sigh.

Miko was enjoying the jealousy but noticed that Yelan was awfully quiet "And don't you have anything to say?" she tried dragging her into the conversation.

"Just like Eula said, if Y/N consents to it I don't care what's going on. It does make things harder for us. But it was to be expected that anyone would try to get close to her" she shrugged "You aren't the only one with a plan you know"

"You're making it sound like we're all scheming here" Ningguang rolled her eyes "With that attitude you're not going anywhere"

"Hm? I never said anything about a scheme. I'm interested in Y/N, therefore I'm trying to get close to her. As you can see, it's working" Miko taunted, clearly being proud of being the first to get as far as she did.

"It's just the beginning, don't get so cocky" Eula had enough of Miko's game. But it only made her even more satisfied.

"A good start is hard to beat. Unlike any of you I've actually made a move. What did you think? That Y/N will be the one to approach you first?" The argument seemed only make Miko more satisfied with each second "But it's true, if I win her over so quickly where's the fun in it?" after saying that she left to go back to her room.

Her satisfied smile disappeared immediately, she just sat down and sighed "Just why did I agree to this?" she burried her face in her hands.

But it was her choice to be a part of that…

-- TAGLIST

@audre-falrose @frozengenderfluid @watamehorns @bebeluvvv @fandangotales @yumi-genshin-writer

#monthly special #yae miko x reader #miko genshin #miko yae #miko x reader #yae miko #guuji yae #yae genshin #genshin yae #yae x reader #yae guuji #yae x you

[thenovelartist]

Vyn's supposed "Red Flags"

So! I know Vyn is widely regarded as the "Red Flag" character, and it has always kinda ticked me off as I don't see these "screaming red flags" (and I'd like to think I'm fairly decent at spotting them.) However, after reading chapter 3 of his personal story, I will say this:

Vyn has trauma red flags, not toxic red flags.

For this character study, I'll be referencing specifically Vyn's personal story chapter 3, main story chapter 2, and a couple cards. (And for chapter 3 spoilers as well as length, I'll throw it under a cut)

Where to begin? How about discussing that the entire beginning of Vyn's personal story chapter 3 really set up trying to frame Vyn for being the PUA leader and making him seem as shady as possible. They tried to paint him in a skeptical light, with him hiding his actions from the MC and him challenging her as to if she thought he was the PUA leader or not. You question what his motives are here, wondering if he's trying to protect the MC by doing this then being resigned to the fact she'll hate him when that post came out. However, it is not until the end we learn his true intentions: he orchestrated this whole case to challenge and test her. The purpose was to see how she would act in the face of accusations against him: a friend. Would she act emotionally? Would she act with logic? Would she hesitate? Would she be conflicted? He wanted to see all these actions from her.

This coincides with main story chapter 2. We all remember the CG with thunder in the background as Vyn has a chat with Artem about not wanting the MC to be so protected. They really set Vyn up here as the "sketchy" character. (And for a while, I thought they did him really dirty here, but after reading Vyn’s chapter 3, I no longer think so.)

And then we can make a vague reference to his "False Tears" card where he "manipulates" the MC into giving him attention, and he just generally LOOKS shady as hell.

When all put together like this, Vyn sounds pretty toxic, right? To which I say, "it depends." If this was ALL there was, then yeah, I'd agree, but it's not. There's a lot more to it than that.

Let's start with dissecting the end of Vyn's Chapter 3 and moving up from there.

In Vyn's Chapter 3-15, we see him talking with Captain Morgan about Rosa. The duo are having a very interesting discussion about whether Rosa should be more protected or not. Captain Morgan is not wrong to think this, making sure Rosa stays out of the really dark parts of society. It's thoughtful of him. Where as Vyn, on the other hand, launches into a seemingly sketchy metaphor about breaking her wings so she can learn to fly despite the pain. Only once he elaborates on this can I truly understand he's not wanting to purposefully cause her pain. He's wanting her to face those dark sides so she isn't ignorant of a darkness that is seemingly foreign to a very bright young lady like Rosa so that she can grow in understanding. None of it is done to harm her but rather because he cares enough to want to see her grow.

And maybe this is me self-projecting a bit here, but this feels like a very "post-trauma" way of thinking.

Trauma survivors who are at least part-way through healing begin to understand that the darkness is not a fun place to be, but at the same point, the learning curve of it has shaped their minds in a far different way than someone who grew up in a healthy family. They are jaded, scarred, skeptical, and the end up pulling from both the darkness and the light for their survival.

From what I have gleaned, Vyn grew up in a very broken home. I'm trying not to self-project here, but I'm going to for a moment. As someone who grew up in a well-off albeit abusive family, the abuse isn't the physical kind; it's emotional and mental. People with money and power tend to want to get their way, so manipulation is big and so automatic they don’t even realize what they’re doing. And sadly, I would say that some genuinely do this behavior out of love not realizing that it’s toxic and damaging.

Worse yet, I feel this kind of abuse is more subtle because it's not that "obvious wrong" of being beaten or substance abuse. And most of the time, it doesn’t even seem wrong on the surface such as blatantly threatening or harassing. Instead, it's an underlying factor that's always there, the monster hiding under your bed kinda thing. You learn to tread carefully because you don't want to wake the monster. The adults in control want to keep that control, whether it's through money or power. And it tends to be in subtle steps up in intensity that you don't notice until it's too late. So life becomes a mind game to navigate. Who are you talking to? What’s their limit? How bad will their abuse/manipulation get? How can you avoid it while also not caving? Considering the way I believe Vyn perceives and interacts with the world, this abuse theory already begins to check out.

Taking a slight detour to his "False Tears" card specifically, this already begins to further confirm that he was subjected to emotional abuse. Because if he grew up in a place where emotional outbursts got him in trouble, then his emotions get suppressed and logic becomes his best ally. (here's where I slightly self-project again) You subconsciously teach yourself emotional outbursts are irrational, and you actually begin to get upset with yourself for having these emotional outbursts. When you heal, you begin to walk this fine line of "emotional outbursts are okay in certain situations, but you're tough and can take a lot so it has to be really bad." So when Vyn "acted out" to get Rosa's sympathy, I feel like he was walking that line. He was hurting and so he "made a show" of being broken because he felt like he could get away with it, trying to convince himself in his mind that an emotional outburst at this time is rational Lou justified.

The sad thing is that the situation was already justified. Vyn didn't need to act out to garner Rosa's sympathy as she was very willing to help and support him from the beginning. His "false tears" were him allowing himself a moment of weakness to garner sympathy NOT in a toxic manipulative way. He wasn't trying to get Rosa to feel sorry for him. Rather, I feel like his actions were more more akin to a timid child saying "mommy, this situation really really hurts, so this means I'm allowed to have a hug now, right? Please say yes.” rather than a haughty "yes, I want you to feel sorry for me. You’re dancing in my hand now.”

The other card I'd like to bring up is his "Mended Heart" card, where it's referenced that he throws out broken things. This is also referenced in chapter 3-12 where Westley is trying to break Vyn down by saying he can't stand broken things. Everything has to be perfect. I have discussed this once before that I think Vyn grew up in a rich, perfectionistic household. This is where he gets his "broken things are useless" mentality. I feel like this is both subconsciously learned and was taught manipulatively. When you have money, things are easily replaceable, and since rich people (particularly royalty, as seems to be Vyn's case) can be among the most judgemental, broken things are useless. You have money? Why save the broken thing when you can get a thing that isn't broken? This is how Vyn subconsciously learned this.

The second way, of it being taught through manipulation, is the "standard" how parents expect perfection, punish a child for anything less than, and since a child is desperate for their parents' attention and perfection is the only way they get it, they learn to become perfect. And if Vyn was punished as opposed to being ignored for not being perfect, then that would further take an affect on him. Henceforth, he has learned to put on a front of being perfect because it has become so ingrained in him that not presenting as perfect will get him in trouble or looked down upon. And he can’t stand either of these seeing, as a trauma victim, he is desperate to prove he has value. Why do you think he’s constantly rubbing the two doctorate degrees in Artem’s face? “I have two doctorates. I hold more value than you do.”

On that same note, in Vyn's chapter 3-12, when Westley called him out on his "low self-esteem", I think he was partly on the mark because growing up in abuse like that really does do a number on you. As such, I think that Vyn's startled reaction was a bit true. However, once you've been through abuse, you are determined to never let it happen again. And since you've been through the shit and know how to play the game, you play it right back. Whether Westley was right, wrong, or somewhere in between, Vyn would never let that man know and instead twist out of by pricking his weak spots. Never let an abuser get an upper hand on you, after all. Fool me once, shame on me; fool me twice, you'll live to regret it. And Vyn doesn't take shame in the first place.

SO! With this, I feel it's safe to assume Vyn was subjected to this mental manipulation and emotional abuse, which then begins to shed a different light on all these seemingly sketchy situations. Starting with what he wants for Rosa.

He sees Rosa as a highly competent attorney with a lot of potential if she is allowed to grow. But as witnessed in main story 2-2, he tells Artem that Rosa won't truly grow if she's just kept out of the dark and protected like some house plant. I feel like the best flower analogy is not real rose vs fake rose (although I know they did this for the “Rosa” analogy.) Rather, he wants her to be a dandelion instead of a frilly flower, one that can grow in any conditions, concrete or soil, rain or drought, and you have to bring out the weedkiller to maybe take her down. He wants to make her strong, and in his mind, strength is not only facing the light but tackling the dark.

So, back to 3-15, this is what he means by his eagle analogy. He wants her to face the dark even if it hurts her. But at the same time, he's not so heartless or cruel to throw her out to the sharks without a lifeboat. He's fully intending on holding her hand and guiding her in there, allowing her to face it, encouraging her to bear it before pulling her back out into the light again. He's a psychiatrist, he'll be there to track her mental state and do his best to control the environments she is in. He'll protect her from any real danger, but he'll let her face the garbage so as to let her learn.

And now the fact that he is the one to take her blindfold off in the promo image suddenly makes a WHOLE lot of sense. Of the four men, he is the “least protective.” I'm not saying he isn't protective of her, because he is, particularly of slander against her or her reputation. However, Luke would literally rather die protecting her than let her be exposed to this darkness. Marius (I know the least about him, sorry) gives the impression he doesn't mind if she faces some things but is willing to save her at the drop of a hat. And Artem, as her boss, is second most willing to let her see everything so she can learn so as to remain impartial, but he also has a "decency" limit and a more fatherly, protective instinct to care for Rosa. Vyn, though, values true growth even in the hardest of conditions, and while he doesn't necessarily want to put Rosa through it, he knows she'll only shine brighter for it and wants the best for her.

So when put like this, I'm not saying all his toxicity disappears in a snap. I think that abuse survivors tend to be pretty edgy and may walk a finer line between love, tough love, and abuse than what most people are used to. And depending where in the healing process an abuse survivor is, they may think they're walking a line when really they're in one camp or another and don't realize it. Henceforth, I won't deny that people with trauma can have/exhibit toxic traits, but they tend to become fewer with healing and time. Furthermore, they are not toxic necessarily for being purposefully toxic but rather because it's a residual from trauma and they don't realize they're doing it.

The BEST example of this is Captain Darius, bless his heart, warning Vyn about limits. Because I have a hypothesis that people like Vyn (like me) who grew up in trauma have no idea what a "limit" is. We push ourselves hard, we want others to do the same, and we don't recognize where the limit lies until it's too late. Then we say "okay, I won't do that again", but we do, again and again and again because we get frustrated we can't go further. We've been through shit, we're tougher than that, right? We bore pain that didn't stop even when we hit our limit, we hid it, so since nothing could be as bad as that, I don't think we know where our limits lie. And at times, I don't think we know the word "limit" exists. So that might be a toxic "red flag" for Vyn, but it is not a malicious one, it might not even be one he's conscious of, but rather something brought about by trauma.

After all this, I still think it's fair to say Vyn is still the "sketchiest" of all the boys, but not because he's purposefully toxic and instead as a result of severe trauma. And people with trauma do tend to walk a lot of lines and will cross them without realizing it because their normal is not a "normal" normal. Sometimes, we need reminders of "you crossed that line, don't go there." and we have to go, "Oh, yeah, right. Society normal."

So my hopes for this Rosa/Vyn romance is a lovely counterbalance. I'm all for Vyn allowing her to face shit and get exposed to the darkness as long as Rosa is his check and balance, reining him in when he goes too far as well as being a safe space for him to express his true emotions and continue healing. And I think that might be the case here. Specifically referring to Vyn's Chapter 3-14, when Vyn asks Rosa about what would happen if she saw her lover's ugliest side. He seems surprised that she'd stick by his side and "weather the storm". I feel like he fully expected her to abandon him if he showed her his ugliest side, his dark secrets, his trauma, because "broken things are replaced", right? So you pretend to be perfect; you pretend to have it all together; you're better than that. You conquered the hell already, the worst is behind you. But that's not how it works. Vyn knows he has an ugly side, no matter how much he wants to deny it. (one that we sorta caught a glimpse of in "False Tears".) So I think one of his biggest fears is being abandoned if anyone found out he was "imperfect".

So when Rosa was all "nah, we weather this together. I won't give up my life for him, but I'm not gonna leave him alone," of course Vyn is surprised if this is the first time he's felt such genuine warmth from a human being he has a non-work related connection with. If this was all he'd ever known, either abandonment or loss, then of course it would be surprising for someone to dump this kind of selfless love on him. Which, when put this way, really shows how fragile Vyn is under his seemingly indomitable exterior. I feel like this poor man puts on a show of strength when in reality, I think he's just a couple carefully placed hits away from shattering. Just as long as Rosa is there to pick up the pieces, it will be okay (and maybe even for the better) if he does.

#tears of themis #vyn richter #vyn richter analysis #This grew longer than I expected #Also heavier #this poor man #Also I wrote this then edited it once so hopefully it makes sense