#i have no energy for a nicely formatted post at the moment

[thestalwartheart]

Chapter five of see it real is up!

#my fic #i have no energy for a nicely formatted post at the moment #but enjoy!!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

📚inch resting bits from the march twst manga updates📚 (octa, savana, & 4koma!)

***Manga spoilers below the cut (with an emphasis on the Episode of Octavinelle, since that's my favorite dorm!)***

The 4koma manga has dropped! Again, it centers around the daily lives of the NRC boys and is shown in a 4 panel gag comic format.

In the illustration above, we see the main cast with Grim's beloved tuna cans~

This month has comics about Ace going to a supplementary lesson (to learn how to manipulate brooms to do his chores) and Leona attending his art class. The comic depicts Leona, Idia, and Rook in the same art class though we're not sure if this is true in-game yet. However, the comics do carry over the continuity of Ace and Deuce being in Trein's class so maybe the art class thing is also true of Leona?

From the Episode of Savanaclaw manga: I KNOW WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN AWE OF DIASOMANI'S PRESENCE BUT ALL I'M THINKING IS THAT DIASOMNIA HAS A MOB STUDENT WITH A BOWL CUT 😭

I'm also really fixated on how this mangaka draws her lashes and hair, they're always bangers every time 💗

Ruggie "bleh" face... Also???? That full page of him using his UM... and the visualization of the wildebeests racing with him like the people in the crowd, very Lion King.

I like that the manga really shows us more emotional and intense moments the game cannot depict due to its limited assets. Here, we see the aftermath of Ruggie using his UM on the crowd. Even with Azul's magic-enhancement potion, Ruggie has taken a great physical toll from spellcasting. Falling to his knees, panting... This will make it hurt more when Leona almost poofs him to sand later 😭

These panels remind me of like. Scar looking on from up high while the hyenas do his bidding. Ruggie's expression... it's so full of a desperate kind of hope has he gazes up at his "king".

From the Episode of Octavinelle, we get to see Leona post-OB and recovering in the infirmary. Side note, I really love how the mangaka adds these cute little faces to let us know who is speaking in certain text bubbles. The little faces make some of the cutest expressions; just look at that cheeky chibi Leona head!

Here, Ruggie is telling everyone about rumors that Azul and the twins purposefully prevent their clients from fulfilling their end of the contract so they can reap the benefits. I like how the scene shown is a boat tipping over (with the twins implied to have flipped it). Nice callback to the boat scene in The Little Mermaid!

We have another The Little Mermaid reference here, where Floyd shares his UM with the gang?? The hypothetical man here reminds me of Prince Eric, especially in that white shirt and appearing as though he is drowning.

Guys... Azul's been taking modeling lessons from Vil-- I really like these more quiet and contemplative moments of Azul; plenty of those are featured this month.

asdbhlfdbaifyoaiygoeia I WILL NOW ALWAYS ASSOCIATE AZUL THINKING HARD WITH SITTING IN THAT CHAIR... There's so many shots of him seated here...

Yuuta continues to be my favorite manga!Yuu so far by diligently tidying up Leona's messy ass room for him... asfvkyadvfialf Grim looks so goofy helping out, that tower of clothes is half his size...

FLOYD'S FACE IS SO siLLy HERE TOO (this is the scene when Ruggie recalls seeing his eel form during a P.E. class where they swam). The mangaka really decided to summon his gremlin energy here...

Aaaaah, I love this shot; it sort of parallels Azul and Leona... It also makes me realize the difference between how Leona's hair is in Octavinelle vs Savanaclaw (due to the different mangaka). In Octavinelle, his hair is usually a solid black with white highlights but in Savanaclaw there tends to be a subtle gradient/screen tone on Leona's hair.

Anyway, twins Twins TWINS

GOOD WAY TO CLOSE OUT THE OCTA CHAPTER, EXCELLENT WAY TO CLOSE OFF THE OCTA CHAPTER IN FACT 🫶 Can you tell I love the Tweel parts/j

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst manga #twisted wonderland manga #spoilers #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #notes from the writing raven #Grim #Heartslabyul #Savanaclaw #Octavinelle #Scarabia #Pomefiore #Ignihyde #Diasomnia #Leona Kingscholar #episode of octavinelle #twst 4koma #twisted wonderland 4koma #episode of octavinelle manga #episode of savanaclaw #episode of savanaclaw manga #Azul Ashengrotto #Tweels #Jade Leech #Floyd Leech #Ruggie Bucchi #The Little Mermaid #Prince Eric

[captainwans]

AM ERA! (smau)

— ALEX TURNER

arabella series

pairing: alex turner x fem! actress! reader

summary: some iconic and memorable moments on social media during the am era.

timeline: 2014

note: to clear up any confusion, the song arabella in this universe/series is based on a movie y/n did. + and also this format / layout is heavily inspired by my love @ithinkimokeei 🩶

masterlist!

Liked by yourbestfriend, katiee_cook_ and others

yourinstagram she’s got a barbarella silver swimsuit … 🪽

 ㅤ View all the comments

username THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING ‼️

username doing cartwheels across the highway- 🤸‍♀️ why are they so attractive

username mom and dad looks so hot

breanahelders looking beautiful wifey 😙

yourinstagram got it from you <3

elizabetholsenofficial because i love waking up in the morning getting hit by visuals 😩

username lizzie is so real for that

username mother

username alex looks so fucking good i wanna jump off a cliff

username the fact that y/n didn’t know arabella was about her until a fan told her during a comic con panel will forever not be iconic

username lmao even the mcu cast was shocked that she didn’t know 😭

username had to replay that funny moment between y/n and scarlett where scar almost had a whiplash bc y/n had no idea

username our baby is so clueless it’s so cute

mileskane who’s that sexy cinnamon bun on the left? 😏

yourinstagram definitely not your man

username IM CACKLING SO LOUD

username pls y/n is so savage i love her

mileskane and you’re claiming him as your man?

username ohh dramaaaaa

yourinstagram and what if i did? 👀

username GASP- does this mean that alex and y/n are dating?!!!

mileskane it’s okay luv it’s just a phase it will go away ❤️

username hahaahahahahah miles

username i’m crying this is too funny

katiee_cook_ this comment section is so funny me and jamie are dying from laughter

yourinstagram mileskane unfortunately it is not just a phase 🥲

username wait y/n does this mean you and al are together?!! hello??

username girl you can’t just leave us hanging like that 😭😭 we NEED TO KNOW

username wait so arabella is actually about her?

yourbestfriend those of you who haven’t watched arabella clearly shows

username fr the song doesn’t even make sense if you haven’t watched the movie

username CAN SOMEONE PLS CONFIRM IF THEY’RE DATING??

Liked by username, marvel and others

enews to answer the question on y/n’s famous instagram post… the answer is YES! (📷: unknown)

 ㅤ View all the comments

username I KNEW IT

username IM CRYING HAPPY TEARS FINALLY

username idk if i wanna be him or be with her

yourbestfriend same

username y/bsf/n is so real for this

username they look so happy

username mileskane has been real quiet ever since enews posted

username i’m fine (i’m not)

username now who leaked these pictures of me and my man? 🤫

yourinstagram first miles and now i have to fight my way through fans 😭 this is a battle

mileskane yeah username get in line 🙄

username speaking of the devil… hi miles!!

username and he has arrived!!

username good luck dealing with seventeen year old girlies who want you dead 🥲

username bro what is marvel doing here liking this post i’m cackling

marvel don’t blame us we were just as curious as you folks 🙈

username alex could do better than this pretentious hollywood whore

username who are you calling a whore???!

yourbestfriend say that again i dare you bitch

breanahelders if you don’t have anything nice to say then keep it to yourself.

officialelizabetholsen jealousy doesn’t suit you honey. keep that energy elsewhere and let us celebrate this beautiful couple ✨

mileskane yourinstagram do i need to kill someone? just say the word love

username username the gang coming at your bitch

Liked by breanahelders, yourfriend and others

yourinstagram okay… this is the last one i promise 🤭

 ㅤ View all the comments

username queen we don’t mind post all you want

username THE HAND REPLACEMENT ALEX

username bi panic

katiee_cook_ obsessed 😍

yourinstagram with you 😙

username the way this music video has a chokehold on me-

youtube the visuals, artistry, lyrics, aesthetics, cinematography is just *chef kiss* ✨✨✨

username even youtube is speaking facts

officialelizabetholsen gorgeous gorgeous 💗 we miss you on set, babe!

yourinstagram miss you more, bug!! 🎀

username a match made in heaven

mileskane we get it you guys are couple goals 🙄

matthelders here we go again 🤦🏻

yourinstagram do i complain when you get to have him all by yourself on stage?

mileskane that doesn’t count!

yourinstagram you’re such a drama queen

username their dynamic i love them sm

username miles and y/n fighting over alex is so real bc same

username yourinstagram how does it feel to be a rockstar’s gf 😩 how does it feel to live our dream

yourinstagram it feels amazing 🙈💗

#alex turner masterlist #alex turner angst #alex turner fluff #alex turner fic rec #alex turner x reader #alex turner imagines #captainwans navigation #alex turner one shot #alex turner fic #alex turner imagine #alex turner fanfic #alex turner #arctic monkeys x reader #arctic monkeys masterlist #arctic monkeys #alex turner x fem! reader #alex turner social media au

[dailyadventureprompts]

Adventure Arc: A Song on a Silent Night

Before we begin I’d like to get personal for a moment. About a year ago I decided I was going to step away from this blog as a daily format and only post when I was really inspired to. It was a drastic step, but one I had to make because I was so burnt out and so deep in seasonal depression that I was on the edge of having a breakdown. Ironically, it was this specific adventure arc that did it for me, as I felt pressured to make something for the holiday season but literally couldn't get words on the page. Taking a break turned out to be the best thing for me. This past year has been great and I’ve actually had enough energy to not only do the projects that are important to me, but to also improve my writing.   My partner and I have written a narrative podcast and we’re shopping it around to producers at the moment, I couldn’t be more excited. (BTW if you happen to be in the business, give me a shout) In many ways it’s very cathartic to come back and finish this adventure. I’d even say it was easy, since I didn’t have the pressure I self imposed because I thought I needed it to write. I just wanted to say: Take care of yourselves friends. Nurture yourself and good art will follow. I am so thankful to have you all as my audience and I hope you know that no matter how bleak the season gets it’s an absolute joy to write for you.

It’s the coldest night of the year, and despite all the lights on in town no one is home. They have been snatched from their beds and their hearthsides by a sinister song that carries on the wind and has spirited them off to another world. Our heroes must follow, and in order to get their friends and family back they must lay siege to the sorrowful heart of winter itself.

Find out what led to these events, and their outcome, below the cut.

Into:   Some weeks before the disappearances begin, the party are sent into the cold to check on a missing mail shipment, only to end up clashing against a group of hobgoblins intent on ruining the holiday season. From there, acts that might be construed as harmless planks escalate into outright malice as it becomes clear the hobs are disappearing townsfolk, working off some sort of list given to them by an unknown villain. 

Adventure Hooks:

If you’re running this adventure arc as part of a longer campaign, consider previewing the hob’s lair long before the villains every arrive, an old ruin where fey and witches are said to revel during the new moon. Having a low level party venture out to the ruins for a test of bravery only to return months later as veteran heroes will show them just how far they’ve grown.

From deadly pranks to highway robbery, each act of malicious mischief committed by the goblins is accompanied by a list of names and seemingly innocuous offenses, evidently ripped off a far larger list in possession of their leader. The party are likely to collect more than a few scraps of these over the course of their journeys, and will be surprised when they begin to form together, laying out a series of disappearances that stretches back some years. 

The goblins’ leader Klatterbell was having such a nice time in the mortal realm before the party got involved. As a hob-knight in service to an archfey of sorrow and frost, the material plane was practically a balmy vacation destination compared to his patron’s foreboding frozen realm. This led to Klatterbell slacking off on his task of collecting mortals and develop aspirations of becoming a sort of yuletide bandit lord.  Aspirations the party can’t help but thwart when they riad Klatterbell’s fortress and set the captives free.  The fight can end either two ways, either the party is defeated, captured, and banished through the portal to the frozen realm of the bleakfather,  or the party is victorious, and as his last act Klatterbell rips a horn from his belt and plays a haunting and mounrful note that will be picked up by the wind and transformed into a haunting tune. 

Returning home from defeating the goblins and rescuing the captives, the party find the town deserted, the strange music unleashed by Klatterbell’s horn echoing in the roar of an approaching winter storm. With their rescued townsfolk in toe, the party will begin to explore the eerily empty town, discovering that the inhabitants seemingly got up from what they were doing and walked into the cold, proceeding enmass to the edge of the settlement where the snow erases their footprints.   It’s at that point that the frost giants attack, walking out of the enroaching storm like it was a curtain between worlds. They’re here to mop up any townsfolk where were not swept up by the enchanting song and whisked away to the feywild, and maybe do some looting while they’re at it. 

Regardless of how it shakes out, the party will have to assail the realm of the Bleakfather, battling their way through a boreal wind that will seek to rip all warmth and joy from their bodies. The only way of getting through this storm is to think back on the moments of joy and light they’ve experienced through their adventures: the festivals, the little kindnesses, the gifts, the pranks, the games, the songs, their friends: These things will lend them strength when the cold and the dark creep in to swallow them… battling their way up the mountain, to rescue the townsfolk and perhaps defeat the archefey himself. 

Future Adventures: 

It wasn’t only the party’s neighbors that were taken captive by the bleakfather, scores of innocents from across the realms were taken by the frostgiants as thralls, all living out their indenture over the feywild’s timeless years. Hospitality will hold for the winter, but come spring the heroes will need to set off to find these people a place to live. 

With their slaves stolen and their fortress breached, the ice giants will scatter, some returning in months or years later at the head of raiding parties as they too seek a new home.  While some may be hesitant to give up their supremacy and seek to subdue the locals wherever they go, others may wish to live only in peace. 

#wintertide #Adventure Compendium #winter #giant

[xxbimbobunnyxx]

The Pull: Steddie x Succubus reader

Summary: You move to Hawkins after spending the last decade in New York City hoping to have a peaceful and quiet next few years flying under the radar only feeding when necessary and making everyone you spend a night with forget you. But when you arrive, you feel a pull from two men like you’ve never felt before. As soon as you feel it you know flying under the radar here wasn’t going to cut it, you had to find them. Masterlist.

Warnings: Not very many for this chapter, sexual themes, language. But future chapters will have rough smut, dom/sub dynamics, M/M/F threesome, demon sex, and I’ll probably add more once I post the actual chapters.

‼️THIS STORY AND MY ENTIRE BLOG ARE 18+ MINORS AND BLANK/AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED IMMEDIATELY‼️

Also this is my first fic not only in this fandom but in MANY years so please be nice to me, feedback would be amazing too I’d love to hear what people think. I hope you enjoy!🖤 (also shout out @bimbobaggins69 for helping me understand how to format my fic on here and giving me the confidence to do so🥺)

You watched them quietly, perched on a tree branch outside the window of the large house. They were both sprawled out on the bed, still naked after they had just been ravaging each other moments ago. The longer haired one with the tattoos on his chest who looked like he just walked out of an MTV music video ran his fingers through the hair of the other boy, who looked like some kind of Prince Charming in a fairy tale. They were an odd pair, you thought, that was part of what drew you to them. The stark contrast of light and dark, both ends of the spectrum. Over the time you had been watching them you’d noticed a few things about them, the tattooed boy was very dominant when they were intimate with each other he was very much in charge, but the few times when you braved watching them out in public you noticed that Prince Charming was much more level headed and in control of his partner. It seemed they balanced each other out well despite their physical differences.

That’s not truly what drew you to them though, when you first felt them you didn’t even know what they looked like yet. You had just arrived in Hawkins, a small town in Indiana, a fresh start. You had spent almost the entire last decade in New York, under your latest identity but the people around you changed, aged, and you didn't, so before they noticed you would move on, again and again for as long as you can remember you have existed this way. Indiana is a state you’ve yet to live in, and having spent the last ten years in busy New York you choose a quaint small town to settle and the moment you drove past the welcome to Hawkins sign you could sense them.

You had never felt a pull like this before, so you immediately followed it, and what you found was two very attractive young men who were absolutely enthralled with each other, but each of them had something they desired, something they felt was missing… a woman. They wanted a woman to join them, you could feel their need and their want to share that with each other. Not that their sex life wasn’t phenomenal because it was, if it was just any two human males wanting to find a third you wouldn’t feel it this strongly but these two were passionate and they were extremely horny just from watching them you felt like you were gaining energy every time. But watching was getting old, you hadn’t fed since you arrived in town almost a week ago, no one could measure up, you needed them and you needed them soon.

•

The next day you sat in the small apartment you had charmed the property manager into giving you the keys for trying to come up with a plan. You had two options, you could either just burst into their house and tell them the truth about who and what you were (which you’ve never done you aren’t sure what it is about them that has you even considering it) OR you can run into them in public, stage a meeting and go through the motions of getting them into bed with you without telling them what you were and erasing yourself from their memories after.

Option one was sounding better and better… you never had a desire to be with the same person twice, no one ever having a long lasting effect on you, so why do these two boys who you have yet to even speak to have you reconsidering that? You needed to know.

So you made a decision, probably a stupid one, but a decision nonetheless. Getting dressed in a short skirt and a tight tank top, you slipped your shoes on and walked out the door. Before you could talk yourself out of it you got in your car and drove in the direction of the large house you’ve spent so much time outside of recently, determined to be on the inside this time.

•

“Babe, I’m telling you, I saw that girl again yesterday when we were walking out of the arcade with the kids! I don’t know how you haven’t noticed her ANY of the times? We have a hot stalker and you’re oblivious” Eddie said with a huff plopping down on the couch next to his boyfriend

Steve scoffs “Dude, babe, we do NOT have a stalker, let alone a hot one. It’s probably just a girl you haven’t seen before that has HAPPENED to be in the same place as us a few times”

“No Steve, I’m TELLING you, this girl was watching us, I looked over at her and she just kept staring right at me and didn’t even move or blink dude it was like she was a statue. The most gorgeous statue I’ve ever seen but still, a statue”

“Okay? So a pretty girl stared at you and now she’s stalking us??” Steve looked at his boyfriend with an amused smile on his face before laughing

Eddie rolled his eyes “I don’t know why you’re laughing at me, I already told you I also saw her at the store when we were grocery shopping in the parking lot, and I saw her outside the diner the next day. I’m NOT crazy dude she is REAL”

“Okay, fine, say she IS real, why would she be stalking US?” This makes Eddie think for a moment because why would she be stalking them? He’s not sure.. but he knows he really wants to find out next time he sees you. “Okay that’s a good point but still, I’m gonna try and talk to her next time I see her”

“Yeah okaaay Eds if she’s real I’m sure you’re really gonna chat her up with your lady killing skills” Steve snorted

“You know WHAT HARRI-“ He was cut off by the sound of the door bell “whose that? I didn’t think we were expecting anyone?”

“We weren’t, I’ll go see who it is” Steve said as he got up to walk to the door. When he opened it to say he was surprised would be an understatement, one of the prettiest girls he’s EVER seen, maybe the actual prettiest girl he’s ever seen is standing on his doorstep looking at him with the sweetest look he’s ever seen.

“H-hi, can I help you?” He asked, and before you could answer you heard loud footsteps come bounding into the entryway “Babe, who's at the door-“ he’s stopped in his tracks because standing there, living and breathing and very real was YOU, the girl who he keeps seeing everywhere, who has been haunting his dreams, standing on their doorstep.

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fic recs #eddie munson smut #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington smut #steddie x reader smut #steddie x reader #steddie #steddie x succubus!reader #fic rec #eddie munson fanfic #steve harrington fic #steve harrington x fem!reader #eddie munson x fem!reader

[simlicious]

Saw a bunch of beautiful knitted patterns on Pinterest and got inspired to make a few new knit patterns. They are among my favorite patterns to make! Now some word vomit, I just feel like the need to ramble today...

I noticed that I really suffer from performance anxiety regarding making CC for Sims 3. It has been building up the whole year, and it is especially bad now that Simblreen is around the corner and the Christmas season is coming up too. On tumblr, people mostly post their accomplishments, not so much their failures, and it makes me think that everyone is so much more productive! I see people participating in Simblreen daily prompt challenges, or making/publishing CC for Simblreeen, and feel sad and inadequate in the face of so much success. I manage to make a couple of things that never really see the light of day, and I feel guilty about it and feel like I let people down😿 At the moment, I can really only make CC for the sake of making it (making patterns is a meditative process for me) and I cannot seem to complete the whole process of publication. I guess if you follow me you are not expecting anything you see appearing as a download soon anyway, but sometimes I really struggle with that. I am really sad about this, but I have always struggled with my perfectionism and intrusive negative thoughts that make the process harder. I sometimes think my patterns are not really needed. The lack of CC that is tailored to Sims 3 specifically (that recolors better than conversions) adds to the feeling that I am becoming obsolete, and my anxiety feeds this feeling. I guess I feel much less motivated to try if there are few things that you can use my CC with, and collabs seem to be much more popular for Sims 4, and I really want to make meshes to accompany my patterns, but I just get stuck in the middle and cannot continue, it sucks so much! The last time I attempted to make a super cozy sweater, I wanted to bake nice textures for it in Blender, but it just wouldn't work it out and I got so frustrated, and the automated bone assignments are subpar for highly customized meshes too. Then I wonder whether my meshes are any good in the first place (sculpting folds and such is really hard to get right!). Now most people seem to work with geoms instead of TSR workshop's WSO format, and I have a hard time understanding how everything works. I would love to assign bones in Blender and such, but I also want to use Blender 3.x and keep up to date instead of always using ancient versions for everything. Tutorials are often for older versions. My brain wants to do things a certain way and it's really frustrating sometimes! Learning from tutorials whilst having a different version of the software is making the process much more difficult. At one point, I had 4 different versions of Blender installed, but is so annoying to have different versions for so many things.

I am using a medically prescribed app now to hopefully help with my anxiety and it currently teaches me that anxious people tend to think negatively and catastrophize. This is definitely true for me, and it keeps me from actually trying out things because my brain tells me I could fail and why waste that time. Actually doing things while the brain throws you curveballs all the time is taking a lot of energy too. Maybe this is part of why I abandon my WIPs, because I cannot muster up the energy anymore to work on them. I often have great ideas and start on projects, and then lose the motivation or energy. I envy people who are able to finish their projects 😭

If you have any tips on how to keep going even with negative thoughts and obstacles in the way, I'm all ears.

#ts3 #simlicious wip #ts3wip:patterns #sims 3

[escapetheshark]

Off the Deep End | Part 4

Genre: fluff; smut; angst

Rating: 18+

Pairing: Bang Chan x fem reader

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings: mentions of past trauma, drowning, and adult language (warnings will be added to each chapter)

A/N: for some reason, the desktop website is extremely laggy and I can't do anything with it, so this was posted on mobile, hence the weird formatting. I'm doing my best. I've managed to fix it!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | to be continued

Masterlit | Network

This time, I do decide to get inside the pool at my sister's house, much to her husband's content. He seems as excited as a proud dad whose little kid finally does something he's been praying to see for years.

"Oh my, look at that!"

It feels a little awkward to have this grown man cheer me on like I'm a 7 year old with a baking soda volcano at the science fair, but I appreciate the enthusiasm, I guess.

"That hunk really is doing a number on ya," his tone is a bit odd, and it feels like the weird word choice was deliberate on his part. I've felt conflicted about him ever since him and Jaime started dating, it's like he's pretty nice but also a bit of a snake. I still don't trust him if we're being honest, but being cordial is unfortunately a required skill for an adult.

"I guess it's his job to teach me how to swim, isn't it?" My response is dry and I think he caught up to the snark, because he drops the subject and simply continues to swim around. This pool doesn't really have a deep end, the deepest part is about 160 cm deep, which is slightly less than my height.

"Grab a pool noodle and practice a bit, Jess," he suggest and I shrug, feeling a little pressured but I don't think my brother-in-law would let me drown so I kind of just awkwardly strut to grab the pool noodle and use it as a kickboard while I kick my feet.

"You're kind of swimming," he announces excitedly. Oh shit, I am! Kind of... "Jamie! Your sister's kinda swimming!"

"In no time, you'll be as good as Brenda's daughter!"

I can't tell if the comment is meant to be a nice compliment or just pure sarcasm, it's hard to tell with my sister's husband. "She just made the team, did you hear?"

"Good for her." It's hard not to sound bitter, even though I shouldn't. She's just a kid. A rich kid being raised to occupy her place in the elite, probably become an insufferable cunt just like her mother and her rich friends, make a lot of money and then marry another insufferable cunt, have kids of her own and develop a day-drinking problem. Why am I judging a little girl? Have I become as bitter as Jamie? Ugh...  Speaking of bitter, my sister interrupts my shitty thoughts, which have managed to take over my small victory celebration.

I get tired of looking like an idiot in the water so I climb the stairs, my legs heavy and tired, and I sit on one of the loungers and grab the bottle of beer I opened earlier that still has some booze left.

"Have you been to see Mum lately?"

Her question catches me off guard. No, I haven't, and she knows this, and I'm sure the next thing that will come out of her mouth is going to be her bragging about how she goes there often. She doesn't have a job, she has a maid to keep her massive house clean, she has an au-pair to look after her children. All she does is lounge by the pool, day drink and have affairs with handsome men when her husband is away, so no wonder she has the time and mental energy to go see Mum at the hospice and crown herself daughter of the year.

"No," I dryly reply, taking a sip of my beer. "Have you?"

I know she's going to say yes, I just know it.

"Of course," she simply replies, giving me that look that screams I'm better than you. "She asked for you, you know?"

"She doesn't even remember she has kids, Jamie."

"She did for a moment," Jamie scoffs, I know she's trying to get a rise out of me. "She asked where's Jessica? She never comes to see me, I'm gonna die all alone in this bed without seeing my eldest daughter. And then she fell asleep."

"Well, I'm sure she only remembered of my existence and not the reasons why I'd rather forget hers," is all I say before finishing my beer, setting down the empty bottle loudly on her expensive coffee table. "Anyway, I have to go."

I hear her husband mutter as I walk towards the front door, "do you have to be that crass?" but I don't bother looking back. Why do I still come here, is what I'd like to know. She's my sister and we're bonded by the trauma our mother gave us growing up, but I guess she copes by acting like her life is a perfect fairytale and I'm the failure stuck on a low-wage job, who never learned how to swim and is single and childless at 36, living in a studio flat, while she owns a massive house with a pool and a husband who lets her go off and fuck other men. He probably does it too. I'm not convinced by the picturesque Sims 4 life.

**

The choice of 90's and 00's pop music is certainly something, but the only thing I currently care about is the fairy bread on the table next to a multitude of other unhealthy snacks, which will certainly spark joy. Little Jessica is being hounded by people, some of which I recognise and some I don't.

"You must be so proud," says an overly excited female voice. "Congratulations," exclaims another. The girl looks like she's been preparing for this her whole life: she stays poised, back straight and chin up, smiling whenever a camera or phone is pointed in her direction. Being groomed for success from childhood seems like a double-eged sword. On the one hand, your future is guaranteed. On the other, well, your future is guaranteed. I can't help but wonder what would have happened if my mother had so carefully planned every aspect of my upbringing. Surely my sister turned out perfect, but what of me? Thirty-six years old, unmarried, childless, without a proper career and just now learning how to swim. This little girl is winning actual medals and being adored by the entire community and all I'm doing is taking pictures for a small magazine nobody reads and serving coffee.

"Hey Jessica." I recognise the voice immediately and my innards scream for a second, but I keep my composure, slowly turning around so my gaze can meet the man who's just greeted me.

"Hi Chris, you must be so proud of your pupil!"

"Absolutely," he smiles, "but all I did was help her unlock her potential."

"Take some credit," I playfully declare, my palm gently slapping his arm sort of against my best judgement. Play it cool, you idiot. "I'm sure not all swim coaches can brag about one of their kids making Nationals, right?"

"I guess..." He finally takes the compliment, his ears growing red and his dimples making an appearance once again.

"I'm obligated to take your picture now," I chuckle, doing my best to mask my own embarrassment. I'm sure my cheeks are as red as his ears but I make the executive decision to ignore it. "Big smile?"

"Oh no, not the yearbook picture," he laughs as I take the opportunity to click away, capturing him right as he flashes those adorable simples, his eyes turning into half moons in his rosey face. Admitedly, I'm doing too much. But it's for the magazine, right? Definitely not for me to look at alone in my tiny studio flat as the Cole's value pizza warms up in the oven...

"You look great," I declare, and this time I'm one hundred percent sure I'm blushing hard, but so is he, so at least I'm not alone. "All the wine mums are gonna go mad over this photo-" That was a low blow, I admit. But he laughs, a genuine laugh like he truly thinks I'm hilarious.

"Yeah, I'm afraid I've become popular among the bored housewife crowd."

So he knows. He knows he's hot. Yet he doesn't act like it. Truly the most dangerous type of man. And exactly my type.

"I'm sure they lie awake in bed at night thinking about-" I stop myself from completing the sentence, knowing damn well it's about to get a little too raunchy and we're surrounded by people, the very wine mums we're making fun of, not to mention it is potentially mildly inappropriate to make such comments about a man who is effectively my teacher. But then again, it's highly inappropriate that I lust for my younger swimming coach-

I glance at his face, looking for signs of distress on his part, like he's offended I would even suggest such barbarity, but he seems amused, smirking slightly.

"Thinking about what?"

His eyes are on mine. He's not much taller than me but, right then and there, it feels like he's six foot five and I'm but a little mouse. His usually gentle warm eyes have a hint of darkness behind them this time, a naughty glimmer I'd say.

"I'm not sure I'm allowed to say it out loud." I'm trying so hard to keep my cool even though my stutter and inability to look into his eyes betray me. It's hard to look at him at all but I see him grinning from the corner of my eye. The fucker is enjoying this. So he's a player...

"You're right, there's too many people around," he chuckles. "You wouldn't want your sister to know we're flirting."

"Very funny, Christopher." My nervous laugh doesn't even begin to sound natural or cute and it seems like he's taking a lot of pleasure out of teasing me. I've never wanted to slap the smirk out of someone's face this bad. Any evidence of my usual snarky self has evaporated and my legs shake when I realise how close he is. "That's exactly what we're doing, hmm hmm."

Much to my dismay, I hear someone approach, an irritating voice cutting through the tension that has built up in that little corner between Chris and I.

"Oh Christopher, you're a star!"

He glances at me and I take the queue to leave and go wander around with my camera in hand, shooting everything and everyone in sight, looking over my shoulder at Chris and Brenda getting a bit too close for comfort.

#neverendingdreams #bang chan x you #bang chan scenarios #bang chan fluff #bang chan smut #idk how to tag

[superman--yoosung]

こんにちは！元気ですか？⬇️ I saw your taking matchups! so….I would like a Romantic Matchup for Mystic Messenger please? 어쨌든, 시작하자!

Hi @averagetoyakinnie, nice to meet you! Yours is one of the most vibrant and vividly-formatted asks I have ever seen (in a very positive way!) From one creative to another, I wish you all the best in your artistic endeavors!!

Your Mystic Messenger matchup is...................

707 !!

"Oh, Joey, I saw you were duo-ing with Seven in LOLOL the other day! You two have taken the top spots, that's impressive, hehe. But wait, why haven't either of you joined the Shooting Star guild with me?!"

To outsiders of the RFA, you and Luciel Choi seemed like a rather flashy couple. Bold fashion, Luciel's startlingly bright hair, and energetic personalities when combined - the two of you were impossible to miss whenever you cruised by in one of Seven's sports cars. To those in your circles, you were - well, you were still all those things. But you were also known to be considerate, knowledgeable, and highly creative. Out of all the members, it was often the two of you who were able to most consistently produce innovative solutions to problems that came up.

The love between the two of you already proved itself once - and Luciel couldn't wait to see what would come next in your shared story.

Fun details:

707 loves dressing up, so when he realizes your varied tastes in clothes, he'll start buying outfits that cater to those tastes. He'll send pictures of his cosplays (and crossplays) your way for you to critique the outfits and give your fashion input. Once you're an established couple, he will definitely go on a shopping splurge to buy matching outfits (and cosplays) in all the styles and brands you prefer. (And yes, that goes for Saeran, too - he's not going to be left out of this!) Honestly, this is a great way for Seven to bond with you; he thinks your taste in fashion is top tier.

Any time something you've had a hand in producing goes live, there will be an influx of posts about it on social media. Suspicious timing, you say? Seven has no idea what you're talking about. Nope. He definitely didn't make bots to promote your works the instant they're out. Why on earth would he do that? (Spoiler: he definitely did do all that.) If you take issue with the publicity, he'll stop, but only because he'll start spamming his own many socials with the information instead. His words and over-the-top lovey-dovey comments are still always sincere - he resonates with your works, and if you ever steal the headphones off his shoulders, don't be surprised to hear your music echoing back at you.

What with your humor and Seven's memeing, there is never a dull moment in the RFA chat. Even after Luciel tones it down later on, you two will always be a source of lively energy, especially when you're both together. You're able to bounce off one another's quips almost instantly, like it's second nature. You're also both very intelligent and knowledgeable. Yoosung will always come to you first, though, for help with subjects you know well; it's up to you whether you decide to help him, or do a little trolling.

Seven is delighted to find someone with as many varied interests as him; he will always take you up on an offer to join you in an activity you enjoy. He may be good at it, or he may absolutely suck at it - but he'll always give it a try and have fun with the process! Sometimes he'll pretend he's bad at something, too, like when he pretended not to know how to skateboard - but you see right through the act, because of how he handles himself in the small details. Either way, expect things to always be fun and full of laughter if he's tagging along.

Later on, your more artistic pursuits will be intriguing for Saeran to hear about and see in action. If you decide to share those interests with him, he will eventually come around to them, and if you ever put up a small gallery in your home of digital art or give a private concert for Luciel and he cries like a baby by the end of it - well, that's between the three of you.

You and Seven will sometimes switch to different languages while speaking or messaging. Sometimes it's to troll the rest of the RFA a bit, or annoy them, but sometimes it's just because one of you is bored or the thought you'd like to convey is better said in another language. Anyways, Luciel's door passwords are no match for you, so he's just going to have to learn Tagalog faster than you can if he wants to keep you out, isn't he?

Any and all of your date ideas are fine by Luciel. In fact, why not do multiple in a day? (He's a bit hesitant to leave Saeran alone, but as long as your most trusted maid is at home to babysit, he's down for anything and everything.) Expect many handmade gimmicks and knick-knacks from Saeyoung. Like the robo-cat, his gifts have dual purposes beyond just appearance, though sometimes while on a date, he'll sneak something simple home, like a flower you stared at for too long (yes, plucked straight from the neighbor's garden as is, he's a menace like that) or a keychain from your favorite anime. Enjoy these gifts - they are all given sincerely and with love!

When you give him a drawing for the first time, Seven is just... floored. What did he do to deserve something so precious and intimate? It will be his most treasured item, even long after you've settled into life together. He will take in every little detail, every sketched line or color, and his heart will never fail to skip a little faster than normal. This is, after all, the fruit of conscious effort and labor by you made with him in mind. It's proof that you think about him. It's proof you care. That's more than enough for him, yet you choose to share even more - and my, how it makes him realize how impossibly lucky he is.

It was love at first sight for Seven. The moment he saw you on that camera, he was gone. Your fashion, your looks, the way you carry yourself... He wasn't lying about the 2.35 seconds - he couldn't look away. And of course, over the time you spent on the messenger app and in person, he only fell deeper for you as he got to know your personality and soul. With you and Saeran by his side, Saeyoung thinks that - maybe, finally - he can finally learn what a true, happy family is meant to be. You are his source of hope.

~~I also thought of Yoosung for you, but I wasn't sure if you'd prefer that since he was in your kins. (And more importantly, he does the "You're just like XXXX" thing, which you mentioned you dislike.) Anyways, I hope this is to your liking!

#mysme #mystic messenger #mystic messenger matchups #mysme matchups #707 #707 x reader

[starlightandetherealshadows]

Honestly I'm just hoping for MC to have soft moments with V as well, coz it feels like (from snippets) V has reserved all their soft energy for Z and murderous (affectionately) energy for MC (not that my menace mc doesn't deserve it😗)

Hi lovebug,

Yes of course there will be "soft" moments with V.

Their love languages are quality time and acts of service, so their moments will be less sweet words and more them seeking MC out to spend time together, accompanying them on walks or whatever, and doing favors with them without MC asking.

If they notice MC getting ready to take a quick walk to get out of the house? They'll ask if they can come with. And you two can have some really nice conversations on the walk; it's one of the times V will open up about their past and their emotions.

If MC is missing something from their bag, let's say a flashlight, V will notice and wordlessly hand them their spare. If V notices that MC didn't eat much at breakfast, they'll bring you some snacks a few hours later and leave it on your bedside table.

I actually have a scene planned out for MC and V spending the day together while "shopping" for gifts for Zero's birthday. I haven't decided if it'll be pre or post-poly formation, but regardless you two will get to have a day full of vulnerable conversations. I'm so excited to write that scene tbh!

All my love,

Cheye

#ask: answered #ask: poly

[tears-of-taelia]

First of all hi!!

And regarding your last post omg I been fearing for Ren's life the *moment* we learned Madame X can get rid of grunts who fail too much remotely. Like- like????? They have his body in HQ???? His soul in a mechanical body????? She can so *so much harm* whenever she pleases I'm so scared for the raid-

Nastasia's protection can only get so far hhhh-

omg hi! it's nice to meet you, i'm Sophie :)

(i see on your blog that you're infj and taurus! i'm intj and capricorn! earth introverts rise up!)

i got excited answering this and went off on a couple of spoiler-filled tangents, so I included the rest under the cut.

I 10000000% agree, especially about the upcoming raid! Team Xen grunts literally sign away their bodies and souls when they join, so it's no wonder why seemingly redeemable characters like Eli and Sharon are forced to stay on.

[aside: I'm pretty sure that Team Xen "recruitment" in general follows a standard format where people in life-threatening or easily manipulable situations are offered either a second chance at their own life or the chance to save the life of a loved one. I mean, there's Neved with Francesca, Madelis with Lisbeth, Keta with Aelita. I mean, there's a grave marked "Eli" at Carotos Peak and I don't think that's a coincidence. Why else would all these people fight (presumably) for the destruction of the world? All those fires in Aevium's past (like the lab fire with Jenner, Maddie (prob Madelis), and Cas (prob Cassandra)), could in part be a massive recruitment effort.]

Anyway, I think the only hope for Ren in the upcoming raid is what I mentioned before, about how he is somehow integral to Team Xen's overarching plans, as per renegade 13.5. My best guess is that these plans include using the energy emitted from a Xenpurgis rampage in GDC to fulfill the dark prophecy, using "the four shadows" mentioned on the Absol Statue back in Blacksteeple to bring back Storm-9.

The shadows that shade the earth shall be known in the end. The one of raw evil, the one of obsession, the one of betrayal, and the one of greed. These four shall see the world be lost forever.

We don't have enough information to definitively say who the one of raw evil, obsession, or greed could be. But betrayal? It fits Ren. In the scene where he is first "hired" or whatever and meets Madame X, I feel like this idea is pretty spoon-fed to us.

MADAME X: Have you brought him? The one I've detailed. NASTASIA: Yes. Please, come forth. Introduce yourself. REN: …Hello, Ma'am. My name is Ren. NASTASIA: Ren used to be comrades with [player] and the rest. But based on what he's told me, if accurate, would display the attributes of the one we're looking for. MADAME X: And just why would one of [player]'s comrades want to betray them?

I mean, the word "betray" is explicitly used here.

On Nastasia: Yes. Absolutely. She's strong as hell, but she can't stand up alone to Madame X. Like you said, her powers can only go so far. After all, presumably, her body and soul are in the control of Madame X as well.

In general, Nastasia is an absolutely fascinating character imo... and I have a feeling the Ren might not be the only double agent working for Xen. Nastasia is "the woman who sacrificed everything for the one who loved her." I think we can say with 99.999999% certainty that she is the grown up version of little Anastasia, Katsu's daughter. Out of all the Execs, she seems to be the most devoted to Madame X. That tracks if Madame X is somehow tied to Maria, or is Maria herself. Is Anastasia, by working for her, possibly trying to save Madame X/Maria from herself? Is Madame X/Maria perhaps even being controlled by a darker force, and "unbound soul" like Vitus? In that way, is Nastasia still the little girl trying to reach her best friend?

All this to say I think Nastasia may be more on our side than we think. She is seemingly the most devoted Xen Exec, yet she has gone on multiple dangerous, rogue missions--including one that really did nothing but aid our side--helping Aelita get to the Spring of Rejuvenation and saving the lives of Venam, Erin, Allen, and Alice. She clearly knows that Ren is a double agent, and she hasn't ratted him out (or, possibly, she has ratted him out and Madame X simply does not care, because with Xen having completely control over his soul and body, he can still be used to fulfill his purpose, regardless). There's the fact that Nastasia, an apparent wunderkind with machines and technology, "missed" the fact that the Sigils in Blacksteeple were being sabotaged by Nancy (something Melia immediately noticed). And there's the fact that she clearly trusts and loves Ren (in a maternal way, I think), cheering him up, helping him sneak out of HQ in his actual body. You know, usual mother-son activities. But yeah, I guess the point I'm getting at here is that I could see Nastasia doing her darndest to protect Ren, maybe even sacrificing herself to do so, but I don't think that would be enough to save him, with the level of control Xen has over the both of them at this point.

Back to Ren, there's another things that's been bothering me: the whole twin prophecy with Reina. I have... thoughts... about this. I def could see it playing out exactly how Reina expects: one twin (Ren) fights for the destruction of the world (likely against his will), and the other (Reina) fights to save it. But another part of me (that's read way too many thrillers) feels like this is too cut and dry, and that this presumption is going to be flipped on its head. Let's say Ren does die in the upcoming raid, and he dies fighting to save the world. What if... destroying the world, following Madame X's plan, would undo his death somehow? What if it would save him, or bring him back? We know that souls get recycled in this universe, after all. Would Reina consider switching sides to bring him back? That would be a betrayal, for sure. And that would also play into the whole Life is Strange moral quandary pervasive throughout the game--save the one you love, or the lives of millions? This would also fulfill the prophecy, but in a way that we do not necessarily expect. Because otherwise, I feel like this prophecy is pretty superfluous. By the time we hear it, we already know that Ren is Xen [hehe], so what new information does it really present?

Anyway, yeah, um, thank you so much for the ask! Sorry for the long winded response. There's way too many theories about this game bouncing around in my brain and it's nice to have an outlet for it. Thank you for your support on my art, it really means the world to me! Particularly since you're so talented yourself<3

#tlozypaka-tina #pokemon rejuvenation #ren #theories #nastasia #reina #madame x #maria #dark prophecy

[rafespeaks]

Of Cold Shoulders and Starshine

FNAF Daycare Attendant & Y/N short fic.

Enemies to ??? Y/N is mostly oblivious to the animosity. Inspired by these two posts by @madame-mongoose and @crazedauthor. No romance (but has the potential to go there if the narrative continues...)

Also posted on my new AO3. First time posting there, and the formatting is a little different than here on Tumblr (combined some paragraphs), but I think I did okay.

---

Your first day was... not ideal.

Okay. You’ll admit it. It was terrible.

Breaking into retail wasn’t as easy as most people made it seem. As desperate as most places made themselves out to be, you didn’t get a single answer to your job searching for weeks. (Your savings are running low. You need to buy cat food soon. Can’t ask your parents for help again - they’re not exactly rich.)

But finally, someone replied. And remarkably enough, you got the job. They weren’t exactly clear on what, precisely, you’d be doing as Staff. But hey, the wages are promising, you have full time hours, and you’re just lucky to be here. You were sure you’d bombed your interview.

You always felt so childish, spouting off about yourself and your interests as a disinterested manager quietly judged you. But maybe that’s what helped them place you as a Daycare Assistant, as you discovered just hours ago. Spouting off about your hobbies of video games and drawing seemed to go hand in hand with that. Plus, the little plush keychains on your bag couldn’t have helped much. Probably should have taken those off...

Still, there you’d stood, eager to learn and hopeful of making a good impression. The music played, children whooped and screamed, the Daycare Attendant animatronic side-eyed you as he passed...

That was okay. He was probably... busy.

The first sign of things going downhill was the note someone had tossed at you during arts and crafts.

All the children were drawing away, and you can’t tell which one may have thrown the paper. But as you uncrumpled it, the scribbly writing was clear enough. “Get out of my daycare”, coupled with a couple crude doodles of a basic sun and moon.

You wouldn’t lie - it made your heart sink. But it was probably just a little kid upset at their routine being changed... so you fold it up and stuff it in a drawer. You need to get back to sorting through that unfiled paperwork anyway.

Sun, at least, seemed nice enough. A little short with you, but it’s so wonderful to watch him with the kids. They clearly adored him, and he reciprocated their energy flawlessly. You caught yourself wishing once or twice that you were out there among them. But lost opportunities of childhood aside, you have work to do. You can play make-believe later, when you have the time and energy to play a videogame or read a fanfic. Probably not tonight... But later. Maybe.

It was only a few hours in when you started actually getting overheated. No amount of water seemed enough, and a rising nausea wouldn’t leave you be. Perhaps you should’ve eaten more than a chocolate chip granola bar that morning. Then again, perhaps that would’ve only made things worse.

It happened when you were moving a box of supplies in. You set the box down in a rush, hurrying to the nearest trash can first and foremost. Kids jeer and whine, and you vaguely hear the disgust in the Daycare Attendant’s voice as he ushers them away. Can’t have the children getting sick.

How humiliating. And on your first day.

You spend a few minutes in the bathroom cooling down, and you almost think you’re good to go. You’re not sick - you’re pretty sure of that. You’re just way too overheated at the moment. It happens sometimes. Unfortunately, the brightness and loud volume of the Daycare ruins that thought, and you’re right back to feeling nauseous again.

You apologize profusely to the Daycare Attendant, but you really do think you have to go home. He waves you off, confident he can take care of things on his own. The box you left out is already put up. It leaves you feeling... embarrassed. Embarrassed and angry with yourself. (You need this job, you can’t afford to mess it up this early.)

Still. Tomorrow is another day. You swear you’ll do better.

You have to.

After a week, you’re starting to get into the rhythm of things. You’re far more accident prone than you realized, but things are... okay. You’ve started packing a spare uniform in your bag at least, so you don’t have to go home sticky. Fizzy Faz spills are all too common. 

You’ve also met Moon, so that’s something. Even if he outright said that he doesn’t like you.

You try not to take it personal. You’re probably causing some annoying problems for everyone, after all. Being the new employee and all.

Strangely enough, the kids are the highlight of the job. You can lose yourself for ages in their little ramblings, especially when their interests just so happen to line up with your own. One of them looks forward to discussing new game announcements with you now. Another likes to watch you draw on your breaks. You started folding little bits of origami for a few. It started with a little boy who was into space ships. and expanded into flowers, cranes, and song birds. Your repertoire isn’t all that impressive, but the kids like it well enough. They color them and glue little googly eyes on during craft times. You really don’t need to bring home any more of those things anyway. You made entirely too much just through high school.

Sun doesn’t seem to like all the paper clutter it causes. He reprimanded you once for double checking the folding instructions on your phone - no personal devices allowed apparently. But that was easily remedied by printing out those same instructions and keeping them tucked under the cover of your sketchbook.

The children asked for copies of their own so they could try. Sun turned it into an origami class. Anything for the happiness of the little ones, you suppose... And you have to agree.

It’s odd. You didn’t think you particularly liked kids. Just thinking of caring for one on your own was like a nightmare. But dealing with them in small doses, watching their excitement and total admiration as they went about their blissfully innocent lives... Well. You weren’t going to be the one to ruin that for them.

Even so, it gets grating sometimes. Bright lights and constant noise were a brutal assault to the system. Thank goodness for naptime. Despite Moon’s disdain for you, it’s one of your favorite points of the shift. Everything is quiet and the dim lights make everything feel so cozy... Pair it with a cup of hot cocoa, a good book, and the sound of rain and you could probably stay here forever.

But you have a job to do, and you spend it picking up toys, cleaning food spills and paint splatters, and occasionally asking Moon if there’s anything he could use some help with.

He could be a harsh task master sometimes. You’re pretty sure you’re not qualified for dealing with whatever was in the ball pit. But you want to be helpful and avoid being fired, so you do it.

Moon meets this attitude with reluctant acceptance, always pointing out some thing or other you could have done a little better. It takes you a full two weeks for him to grudgingly tell you ‘it’s fine’ and immediately set you on another task.

You’re improving.

Three weeks in, you’re having a splendidly horrific day. Enough to even rival the mortification of the first. An angry parent, yelling and screaming, was pawned off to you almost the moment you clocked in. You listen to her criticisms, nodding along and throwing in “Yes, ma’am”s and “No, ma’am”s where appropriate. You offer to get the manager, and she’s off like Krakatoa as you scramble for the communication systems. You can hear Sun gushing over her child, making them laugh while their parent lambasts you for pricing out of your control.

The children seem especially interested in you as the day goes on, and while that isn’t a problem per se, you are desperately needing some time to wind down. Nap time can’t come soon enough.

Only when it does come and you’re finally allowed a moment of peace, you go for your bag. All you want is to grab something from a vending machine... You’re way overdue for your fifteen minute break anyway. Only when you come to your bag, one of your plush keychains is gone.

That’s when you start to really unravel.

It was your favorite one. A fluffy, squishy little critter. A moving out gift from your parents. And hard to find to boot - you always do seem to find attachment in subjects or characters with very little merch.

Panic rises in you like a silent tsunami, threatening to break over you and drown you at any moment.

Okay. Okay, stay calm. Maybe it fell off somewhere. Maybe you can still find it.

A search around the desk turns into a frantic canvas of the Daycare. That transitions into retracing your steps since clock-in time.

What if a kid picked it up? What if they took it home? What if you never saw it again?!

You don’t have time to do much else. Your ‘break’ is nearing its end, and all you’ve done is work yourself up to near tears.

Moon watches you judgmentally from the top of the play structure, but all you do is sink into your designated chair and bury your face in your hands.

It’s... okay... You can... find a new one on Ebay. Maybe. Eventually. It won’t have the same sentimental value... but...

When the kids wake later, most of them seem to be able to tell that something is up. They stay clear of you, leaving you to carry out your usual maintenance tasks in dejected silence.

But everything was fine. Everything would be okay. The world would continue to spin. Even if it didn’t feel like it at the moment... There were still things to be grateful for. You were making rent. You had fluffy little faces to return home to. You would... probably be missed if something happened...

It surprises you when Sun asks what’s wrong. And you have no one else to vent to... so you confess your loss and how sentimental the silly little toy is to you. He hums and makes some comment about the children being distraught when they happen to lose a favorite toy.

You can’t tell if he’s being sympathetic or patronizing.

By the end of your shift, you are drained and devoid of hope. Still, you check the Lost and Found and whichever employee areas you’re fairly sure you traveled through recently. Naturally, you find nothing... And that doesn’t change when you go home and check there, either.

God, you hope it wasn’t lost to the horrors of public transportation... At least if some kid at the Pizzaplex found it, it would have a home and be making someone happy.

It’s your day off tomorrow. You spend it in bed mostly, scrolling through entirely too expensive listings on Ebay and listening to Youtube videos instead of indulging in one of the things you’ve been meaning to set aside time for. It’s okay, though. It’s just... a chill day. That’s all.

A surprise is waiting for you when you return to work. Your favorite keychain plush, a little matted and covered in glitter specks, but mostly unharmed. You snatch it up the moment you see it, squeezing it close and checking it over for damage. The tag is missing, and you feel a slight loss at no longer having the fun little personality blurb, but it’s hardly important in the long run.

Someone must have found it for you. Maybe it was Sun or Moon. You’d like to think so, anyway - they seem to be watching you a bit more through the day.

You aren’t sure how much time passed after that. Several weeks... Maybe a couple months. You think you’re starting to hit your stride. Things can still get a little overwhelming, it’s true, but... you’re almost happy. Sun speaks to you a little more often. You’ve drawn him and Moon for the kids god knows how many times now. They’re funny little characters... somewhat out of place in the wider Fazbear corporate picture, but right at home here in the Daycare. Moon is showing interest in you during naptime. That’s okay - the guy probably got bored sometimes. You explain to them about some of the kids’ interests you share, and they seem intrigued to get a narrative that’s slightly less babbling and slightly more explanatory. At one point, you find yourself having brought in an old handheld and briefly showing Moon one of your games during break. He watches quietly, and doesn’t reprimand you for bringing personal electronics onto the Daycare floor.

You’ve got this now... You’re almost sure of it. You still feel a little lost at times, but you’ve got responsibility. You’re trying your best. The kids seem to tolerate you or maybe even like you. You... maybe even made a friend? It’s tiring work, but... you could get used to this...

“Why did you stay when Mr Sun hated you?”

The question hits you like a sucker punch to the gut.

Hate...? Did that kid really say hate...? Surely they must be mistaking.

But they aren’t. They’re a regular, coming to the Daycare much longer than you’ve even been employed here. They explain it to you - Sun and Moon don’t like anyone in their Daycare. None of the other Daycare assistants ever lasted long. Sun always said it was because they weren’t good at playing with kids. Moon would tell them it was because only the Daycare Attendant could do their job right. Other assistants would get mad or quit or withdraw from the kids, even if they were fun at first... But you haven’t yet. You just did your drawings and folded papers and talked to the kids about things no one else would. You were different. But Sun still didn’t like you. Why would you stay when you weren’t liked.

You didn’t know. It was the only answer you could really give. You didn’t know that... that they hated you so much...

Suddenly, a lot of things were making more and more sense.

Your manager doesn’t seem all that surprised when you request the change. It goes through quick and easy. You’re still anxious, though. You’d gotten used to how things were run in the daycare. The quiet of naptime would be missed... Maybe you’d find yourself in a more calm area. Maybe Gator Golf. Or Bonnie Bowl. God you hoped so...

But all of a sudden, it was your last day.

It’s a bittersweet feeling, watching the kids play. They demand for you to draw with them again during arts and crafts. They pull you into a couple games. You’re even roped into tucking a couple in during naptime.

Sun seems to notice your lack of pep today, but nothing is said until the lights are low and you’re sitting at your desk with Moon.

You don’t have the courage to say anything. It’s too painful... And besides. You don’t want to make the rest of the day awkward.

So you put on a smile and tell him you’re alright. Everything is alright...

The Daycare is closing, and you’re almost ready to clock out when you finally get over yourself enough to explain. It’s the least you could do - common courtesy among coworkers. Even if they were a robot.

So you finally approach Sun, hesitating as he scrubs down stray crayon marks on the play kitchen set.

“Hey... I just wanted to say goodbye.”

“Oh?” Sun looks up, the rays around his head spinning briefly.

“Well. Goodbye, then! We’ll see you tomorrow, faithful assistant.”

You smile a little at his cheery tone, but only for a moment before it slips away and you shake your head.

“No - I mean goodbye. I’m... not coming back to the Daycare.”

A heavy silence falls between you... and Sun straightens up, his body stiff and lacking its usual bounce.

“You’re not...? You didn’t get fired, did you?”

“No, no- not that...” you say, though you’re not sure if you should be apologizing or reassuring him. Maybe he would’ve preferred you getting fired.

“I’m transferring to a different section. Not sure which yet... I just... I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“Sorry...?” Sun echoed, his baffled tone contrasting sharply with the quiet of the empty Daycare.

“What for?”

You take a deep breath, attempting to set your insecurities aside. It’s okay, really... You get it. You’re not going to win over everyone. In fact, you’re no stranger to being shunned or considered weird or just... being alone... You’ll manage.

“... For sticking around so long when you didn’t want me here. I didn’t realize... that you guys preferred running the Daycare on your own. So... I’m sorry. But... better late than never, right?”

Sun looks like he wants to say something, but a quick glance at your watch shows you really need to get a move on and clock out. Can’t have management getting angry over some unintended overtime.

“Um. I gotta go. But for what it’s worth... I just wanted to say I had a good time. Even if you did hate me. You’re great with those kids. No wonder they love you so much...”

Damn. Your throat is getting a bit tight... But you said your peace, and it’s time to leave. So you shoulder your bag and turn to leave, Sun watching you go with disbelief.

You step around decorated origami, deciding to leave the flower with the pipe cleaner stem on the desk. Maybe the kid would want it back - as a memento. If not, they could... throw it away. You’d rather not bring any painful reminders with you. You’ve embarrassed yourself enough...

The door closes with the same heavy thud, but it sounds more damning and final than ever before to Sun.

The Daycare had never been so quiet.

“... Moon...? I... I think we messed up...”

... They’re really gone... aren’t they?

“... I didn’t even tell them we’re sorry.”

#FNAF Daycare Attendant #FNAF Sun #FNAF Moon #FNAF Security Breach #FNAF #FNAF fanfic

[littlehollyleaf]

mx. hollyleaf, i am just watching smallville and I gotta say, Clex is absolutely consuming my brain at the moment. I’m also just going through all the fic i can and saw someone recommend your fic Unreckoned Redux. Do you think you would ever put Redux on AO3? I hope you have a nice day!!

Omg. Wow. Someone RECOMMENDED that?? Wild! I am flattered, obviously, but also seriously surprised because it's... it's just been YEARS, you know, since I was in the fandom, let alone writing for it! Damn.

I'm super sorry my friend in any case, because that fic was my first real attempt at fanfic proper and I was really learning the ropes. Meaning I was just writing and posting it in segments/chapters as and when the mood took me right up until... the mood... didn't... As such, it remains very, very UNFINISHED and I've moved on from Smallville so entirely there is ZERO chance I will ever be returning to complete it. Which is why I have no plans to move any of it to AO3, no. Seems a bit foolish to transfer an incomplete fic. Plus, though incomplete, it is really very (perhaps, unecessarily) long (or, you could say, as a result of my back then especially amateur writing skills, ~rambling). So any kind of transfer to AO3, even with their handy LJ-AO3 formatting options, would take A REALLY LONG TIME, which, honestly, I do not have the energy for!

Ah, Clex though. A part of my heart does still beat for them <3 I'm sure AO3 has many other quality and completed fics to feed the obsession. @hils79 penned some fab ones iirc and they always were more on the ball with ways to engage in fandom online than me - if you check their AO3 I wouldn't be surprised if they'd moved theirs across. So there's a free rec from me at least :)

I wish you well with the Clex consummation in any case. Smallville as a whole may have driven me to rage like no other show/media by the end, but I recall my time shipping with great fondness. Oh the drams and the angst of those two! Good times...

[th1s1smyw0nd3rland]

Daydreamer II Dream of the Endless (Part 2)

✧Warnings: some explicit

✧Pairing: Witch! OC x Dream of the Endless/Morpheus

✧Summary: When Dream of the Endless was captured by the magus Roderick Burgess and imprisoned, the Waking World and the Dreaming seemed to be on the path to destruction with Dreams and Nightmares running rampant with no master to keep them in check. All hope seemed to be lost until a special little witch made her way into the Dreaming, her existence vastly different from any other human and with her abilities, maybe hope wasn’t lost after all.

✧Notes: I have only heard of the Sandman through the Netflix and though I’ve watched all of it, I know little to nothing of anything outside of it so apologies if some things aren’t cannon. I am doing my research as I write this out. I also haven’t posted my own writing on tumblr in years so if there are any tips, critiques on post formatting and/or the story of the Sandman in general, would totally appreciate it. (Just please be nice lol I’ve only started writing again all of a sudden)

✧Warnings: some explicit language but besides that, nothing else (yet)

✧Word count: 1711

✧ Part 1 Part 3

Katarina could feel her body slowly getting more tired as she and Lucienne walked around the castle, working together to test the young girl’s abilities as she did what she could to fix the falling castle. As Katarina moved rubble, the two conversed about what was happening in the Waking World and the realm, the two surprisingly quick to form a bond the longer they talked. Katarina spoke of what she could recall before she woke up in the Dreaming, nothing of the night out of the ordinary before she had gone to bed. Lucienne informed her about the Corinthian, the rogue nightmare who had made his way into the Waking World, which caused the King to take action and explained what he was doing out of the Dreaming in the first place. By the time they had reached the library, Katarina couldn’t help but slump against the first chair she could come into contact with, her head leaning against the back as she massaged her throbbing temples.

“My apologies, my lady,” Lucienne said as she stood beside her and Katarina couldn’t conjure the energy to question why she was suddenly calling her that instead of her name, “I may have pushed you too far.”

“No, no I’m good. Don’t worry, Lucienne I am glad I could be of help to clear some of the damage though I’m sure your King would’ve done a much better job.”

“What you have done is more than enough. Take a bit of a rest. I shall prepare some tea and dinner.”

“Thank you, Lucienne,” the young girl smiled up at the pointed ear librarian and she returned the favor, slightly bowing her head before disappearing. Katarina was now alone in the massive library and she somehow mustered the energy to scan the room, shelves after shelves and every nook possible covered in books. Her eyelids were growing heavy, her body sinking into the soft cushions of the chair and she let out a sigh as she willed her body to relax. Though it was only moments that had passed, Katarina felt more rested when her eyes opened as a tray was placed in front of her, a plate of food and a cup of tea piping hot on top of it. Her mouth seemed to immediately water but she sucked it back, not realizing how hungry she was since well, she was dreaming. Do you need to eat when you’re dreaming? She wondered to herself as she dug in, nodding a thank you to Lucienne, who bowed her head in return. 

“So…this Lord Morpheus of yours,” Katarina began after she had finished her meal, dabbing a napkin against her lips, “has been gone and because he is the King of Dreams and Nightmares, the whole Waking World will continue to suffer under the sleepy sickness?”

“That would be correct, my Lady,” Lucienne said and Katarina sighed, her hands leaning on the many books of dreamers that were laid out onto the desk. 

“And where is everyone else? Did no one else go to look for their lord, their king?”

“Many have, unfortunately. Some did go to find the lord but to no avail while others…well, I’m sure they’re making themselves right at home in the Waking World. When Lord Morpheus was here, we, as Dreams and Nightmares, were not meant to leave the Dreaming, let alone meddle in the lives of humans when they are awake.” Katarina nodded, her eyes turning back to the many books before, realizing that these were the books of dreamers. Some pages were writing themselves, scribbled text appearing and writing out exactly what was happening in their dreams while others remained blank, most likely the ones who had not slept. 

“You have my journal, yes?” Katarina asked and Lucienne nodded before handing her the book she was holding, her name written in beautiful golden cursive. “Perfect.” she smiled as she brushed her fingers across her name before she opened the book, flipping through the pages. 

“What do you mean, my lady?”

“If I am in the Dreaming and if all that I had left back here when my child self was dreaming, then everything that I was able to do back then would technically work, correct?”

“I…I suppose so,” The librarian said, though her eyebrows were still furrowed, her tone showing her uncertainty,  “Why do you ask?”

“Because that means that my spells worked. Even the ones I couldn’t get to work when I was awake and every one of those spells are written in this book that recorded my dreams.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning I can find Lord Morpheus and try to bring him home. I just need to find the right spell and I need to see exactly where he is.” Lucienne’s eyes widened as they both stood to hover over the books, quickly sifting through the pages. Katarina couldn’t help the smile as she was brought through her childhood, her dreams, everything that she had ever hoped to become as well as all the spells that she had learned or even written herself right there before. A caw from the distance tore their attention from the book as a raven of black and white perched itself on a globe on the table, its head tilting at them.

“Sweet Jessamy, you have returned!” Lucienne called in excitement and the raven squawked in excitement. “I cannot believe it has been over a century…have you found our lord?”

“Excuse me?” Katarina asked, “Over a century??”

“Yes,” Lucienned nodded and the young girl noticed the sadness that read across the librarian’s face, “It has been over a century since our lord had left the Dreaming.”

“How…how long have I been here? Asleep?”

“About eighty years, my lady.” The realization of time passing seemed to pierce through Katarina, not thinking about the concept until now. Her body seemed to react before she could, falling onto a chair with Lucienne’s help as her hands clenched into a fist. 

“Why have I not aged? Is that how it works here in the Dreaming?” 

“You take on the form as you wish, my lady,” The librarian said but her face showed more, Katarina urging her to continue. “However…on top of sending Jessamy to look for her master, our lord, I had her check on you and well…your physical body has also not aged after all these years.”

“How?”

“I’m afraid I do not have the answers you seek. According to Jessamy, your body is protected within the home you grew up in, your doors locked and the only other presences being caretakers…and your younger sister.”

“How is she?” Katarina asked quickly and Lucienne gave her a comforting hand on her shoulder, though she knew no comfort would be enough for the words she was about to give. “Is she…?” “She is, like you, spending time here in the Dreaming all this time. It has all but stopped her disease but only because she has remained asleep. Unlike you…she has aged.”

“Where is she? How have I not been able to see her all this time?”

“She is not like you…she is living her life here in the Dreaming but she doesn’t know it. Without Lord Morpheus here to monitor the dreams and nightmares, it is hard to tell exactly how she is living in this realm…and I have not been able to find her.”

“Fuck…” Katarina whispered, her head falling into her hands as she tried to swallow all this information down. She wondered to herself why she was so surprised by this information more than anything else. It only made sense that her younger sister had only two ends, one being eternal sleep or never sleeping and Katarina had to admit to herself that the latter would be a harder pill to swallow, knowing that her sister wouldn’t have survived if that is how it played out. She took a deep breath and just hoped, praying to the goddesses that her sister is at least able to have somewhat of a peaceful sleep, feeling a poke that drew her from her thoughts. Her eyes met that of the raven, who looked at her with piercing eyes and she could’ve sworn for a moment that blue, not black, eyes stared back at her for a moment. 

“Jessamy has seen where the lord is being contained,” Lucienne explained but Katarina’s eyes remained on the raven. Her hand hesitantly moved to settle on Jessamy’s feathers and she let out a gasp as pictures seemed to zoom through her vision. A picture of a manor, dark hallways, a red carpet before descending deeper into its passages, an old man, a young one, a young woman and a plethora of guards. 

“I understand,” Katarina whispered and she leaned down to be at eye level with the raven, her fingers brushing against her feathers. “Just get me closer, please, Jessamy. I need to see exactly where he is.” The crow cawed, seemingly in agreement before fluttering away back to the Waking World. When the two turned back to each other, Katarina gave Lucienne a nod, a silent agreement to keep searching for a way to return the Dream Lord home, their attention back to the books. 

Katarina realized rather quickly that she and Jessamy seemed to create a bond, though not one as strong as the raven and her master. It took a good amount of energy but with that and a lot of concentration, Katarina was able to see the Waking World through Jessamy’s. It felt like looking at the world through a fish eye’s lens and the young girl would find herself motion sick if she paid too much attention to the wind blowing through the raven’s feathers. For some time now, Jessamy would adventure through and around the manor, trying to get closer to where her master was being kept, giving Katarina a front row seat. 

“She’s getting closer,” Katarina muttered and Lucienne listened intently, holding onto the young girl’s hand. Grounding her, as she explained. “We’re almost there, Lucienne.” The raven was inside the manor, watching the old man - Roderick Burgess - lighting a cigarette before walking out of the room. That’s it, Katarina thought as Jessamy flew through the manor, lighting a cigarette and dropping it onto the newspaper that laid on a bed. As the flames came up, she flew into the basement, quick to hone in on the pale, man sitting in the glass sphere in the middle. Katarina couldn’t help the gasp that left her mouth at his state, unclothed, without literally anything but his own limbs to cover him. His eyes lit up at the site of the raven, standing up to meet her gaze as his hand went up, ghosting over the glass near her face.

“God, people are fucking disgusting,” she muttered but before Lucienne could have her elaborate, the young girl’s hand grip tightened and her body was suddenly tense. “Jessamy!” Katarina cried as the raven tried ever so fervently to break the glass with her beak, her wings fluttering loudly behind her. The young girl’s heart was beating faster and she let out a scream as a gunshot was heard and her eyes snapped open, tears quick to fall as the connection between them turned black, her presence back in the Dreaming.

“No…no!” cried Katarina as she stood up, slamming her fist against the desk as her tears dropped onto the paper before her. “They killed her, Lucienne! They fucking killed her!” Lucienne’s eyes closed, not allowing her tears to fall as Katarina sobbed, her body feeling everything the raven as well as the master felt as her life was suddenly taken. The paid Katarina felt in that moment was immeasurable, not understanding the wave of emotions suffocating her body.

“Emotions,” Lucienne said softly, trying to keep her composure, “Emotions are heightened here in the Dreaming, my lady.”

“Right,” Katarina sniffled out, violently wiping her tears as she looked up, a new fire blazing in her eyes, “They will pay for what they did to her, Lucienne. And soon.”

“My lady?”

“We found him.”

#morpheus x oc #morpheus fanfiction #morpheus fluff #the sandman #sandman netflix #sandman #dream of the endless #dream imagine #dream fanfic #dream fanfiction

[jonfucius]

Great Star Trek Rewatch - The Animated Series S1

Originally posted on Twitter 8 January 2021 - 11 January 2021

Star Trek: The Animated Series Season 1 is up next in my Great Star Trek Rewatch. As with ENT, DSC, STX, and TOS, mini-reviews will document my progress.

Beyond the Farthest Star: Immediately establishing the creative possibilities the animation format affords, this is a solid re-introduction to our live-action heroes. The alien's pleas at the end are truly pitiful and sad. 7/10

Yesteryear: The single best episode of TAS, bar none. Tightly scripted and well acted, it shows how TAS could be more mature and complex than its other cartoon contemporaries. 10/10

One of Our Planets is Missing: A nice callback to TOS with Bob Wesley, this episode is otherwise reminiscent of “The Immunity Syndrome.” Again, the animated format allows for expanded vistas and areas of the Enterprise we never got to see on TOS. 7/10

The Lorelei Signal: Uhura and Chapel get their moment in the proverbial center seat, but this episode is let down by the sexist reinterpretation of the Sirens from Homer’s epic. 5/10

More Tribbles, More Trouble: A direct sequel to a TOS classic, featuring the original Cyrano Jones himself, and the return of Koloth (sadly, not voiced by William Campbell), written by David Gerrold, this is a solid TAS entry with classic TOS energy. 8/10

The Survivor: A poignant love story crossed with Romulan intrigue outweighs the abrupt tonal shift of the tag, and the cliché of having Carter Winston’s fiancée coincidentally aboard the Enterprise. A great vocal performance by Ted Knight adds to the score. 7/10

The Infinite Vulcan: Walter Koenig’s script really takes advantage of the animated format: giant clones, plant-based life forms, etc. I’ve always had a soft spot for this one, from childhood. 7/10

The Magicks of Megas-tu: Besides providing Swear Trek with nigh-limitless material, this episode has a fairly provocative denouement. No other mid-70s animated show would tackle God, the Devil, and Salem in 25 minutes. Magic being real is inconsistent with TOS, however. 6/10

Once Upon a Planet: A sequel to TOS “Shore Leave,” we learn more about the mysterious planet, and Uhura gets some things to do besides operating the communication console. Kirk talks down yet another computer. I’m not a fan of “Shore Leave,” so I’m not high on this outing. 5/10

Mudd’s Passion: Harry Mudd on TOS is a mixed bag: expertly performed (here, once again by the late Roger C. Carmel), but gross and misogynistic. While I applaud bringing Carmel and writer Stephen Kandel back, I don’t like this one, except for its camp value. 5/10

The Terratin Incident: Only in animated format could our heroes be convincingly shrunk. This episode establishes that the transporter can reverse or cure most maladies, something seen again in TAS, and then several more times in the Berman era. 6/10

The Time Trap: Shades of “Day of the Dove,” wherein our heroes must work with the Klingons to get back to our reality. Wisely, the Bonaventure is more or less retconned out in First Contact. The starship graveyard and Elysian Council are great concepts. 7/10

The Ambergris Element: Another planetary disaster story so soon on the heels of “The Terratin Incident” feels repetitive. While it’s fun to see the aquashuttle and the scouter gig, I’m not sure what the point of this one was. At least it embraces the animation format. 4/10

The Slaver Weapon: The only official crossover with another franchise (Larry Niven’s Known Space) in Trek’s long history. A solid script and interesting backstory is only held back by the half-hour runtime. 8/10

The Eye of the Beholder: Shades of “The Cage,” though the unaired pilot did more with the criticism of incarceration than this TAS installment. It’s ultimately forgettable, which is an even worse fate than being memorably awful. 3/10

The Jihad: A problematic title for an episode that most closely resembles the excellent late TNG two-parter “Gambit.” Again, excellent use of the animated format, but constrained by the brief runtime. 5/10

And with that, Season 1 of TAS comes to an end in my Great Star Trek Rewatch. Final score: 6.25/10. Highest score(s): “Yesteryear.” Lowest score(s): “The Eye of the Beholder.”

#great star trek rewatch #star trek #star trek tas

[unicornachos]

personal post!

hey hi I’m alive sorry for abandoning my blog for like 1.5 yrs??? I had a bunch of health issues and mental health stuff too :’) 

Like very full on... god what HASN’T happened. 

My body had a weird reaction to the covid vaccines in 2021? I ended up in hospital etc and was sick with mystery fatigue and shit for months and months.... I think I went to hospital like 4-5 throughout 2021? My body seems fine with the MRNA boosters I’ve gotten so maybe something in my body just hated the astrazeneca vaccine?? I’m kinda bitter about it bc of the ambulance bills I had to pay, but still, thank god for vaccines amirite

then, the apartment I was living in and loved got bought by someone who then wanted to move in, so I had to leave the place I loved living to somewhere still nice but way more expenno, and my health issues kinda continued?

then I started a new job

then my mental health got REALLY bad over the 2021/2022 christmas period to the point where I had to call an ambulance for myself bc my mind was in such a bad place. 

Then I started taking SSRI’s for depression/anxiety, but I had this weird reaction to the drugs and we think I had serotonin syndrome because of its interaction with the asthma meds I’ve been taking all my life? But at the time no doctors would listen to me and basically gaslit me into thinking all the pain was just a physical manifestation of my anxiety. Anyway, it caused some of the most horrific pain i’ve ever experienced in my life, in particular nerve and muscle pain in my legs, and I had to shower sitting down for weeks, couldn’t walk much around the house, and needed super strong meds to knock me out so I could sleep. 

I slowly healed and could walk again and do normal stuff for me around... late April?

While I was recovering I stayed with my mum but still paying rent in Sydney bc all my shit was there, so in June I killed my lease, put most of my shit into storage with a friend’s parent’s mini warehouse they use for their business (absolute legends and wholesome humans and I sent them money every month lol) and moved back home.

I started studying a certificate level course I’d been wanting to get over and done with for ages, so at the end of June I started studying.

Then once again mental health got bad, I tried SSRIs again, thinking it was me who was the problem last time I took them. BUT ACTUALLY, NO. Same physical reaction to the meds as last time, if not worse. It wasn’t my brain making shit up, it was an actual fucking drug interaction issue that ppl had tried to tell me was my anxiety and/or imagination!!! Queue horrific pain, weird symptoms, and once again the inability to walk or clean or work from anywhere but the couch.

Dr and I decided any meds that effect my serotonin levels are a no-go probably forever, and so I’ve been looking into CBD oil over the past few months to see if that will work for things instead.

Now I’m about... 2 months from that reaction, and started CBD oil 2 weeks ago (no reaction, side effects, or really anything yet) and can work at my desk as long as I have a big ass XL foot rest under my legs to keep them propped up, because I get nerve pain if I sit normally :’) I still can’t really go anywhere or walk anywhere other than around the house and for super short periods of time.

Also I powered through and finished my course just last week, so that’s out of the way at least! 

Other than that, I’ve just been like. Sleeping, reading, watching shows, napping, sleeping more, trying to eat well.... my job is a bitch but I’m trying rly hard to skill up so I can do more of what I’m interested in! I kind of don’t have energy for much else at the moment??

I have no idea if I’ll post again as regularly as I did a few years back, but I love Tumblr and I always feel glad coming back here and spending time in this place for a bit. These days I mainly only post stuff on my locked private twitter lol. But I have always preferred Tumblr’s longer format and vibes hehe.

ANyway that’s all for now! I hope anyone reading this has been doing ok. These past few years have been fucking tough and if all you have energy for is working and sleeping... you’re valid, dude. 

And if you plan to take SSRIs for your mental health, just be wary of serotonin syndrome!!!! Not enough ppl talk about it and a lot of doctors seem to have no idea it exists or also know little about it, but there are lots of cases of it in settings where ppl have been taking other meds and been given SSRIs! I’m not saying don’t take meds if you need them, but just reaaaallllyyy do your research first if you can about adverse reactions and interactions :’)

[emmetrain]

Would you be friends with your muse if they were real?

What do you look for in a rp partner?

Also asked by @axktheterrifyingghost , thank you both so so much <33 !!

Would you be friends with your muse if they were real?

I ADORE EMMET. I love his energy and I love how endearing he is! He is a genius and all the arts/crafts and robotics he gets into would make him the most exciting friend ever.

However, Em puts up a guard when people "outright reject him" in first meeting, meaning if his loud, overly-energetic persona is off-putting or annoying to someone, he will move on (usually) and won't try to befriend them. And loud noises + loud people are my kryptonite so we would not have a nice first meeting at all.

But--I would love to have a friend like Em. He has so much love to give, so much passion to share, and it is a crazy train ride all around. Never a boring moment with him.

What do you look for in a rp partner?

(＝⌒▽⌒＝) THEIR PASSION. Seeing how invested they are in their character, all the posts or thoughts they share whether headcanons, musing posts or aesthetics, or right at the source with their threads!! I also adore just... peering into mind of my fellow muns on their rule/about pages-- how they organize things, if there is a story behind the rules (mine are all over the place due to so many stuff), the way they wrote the about page.

Like--If I see someone is enjoying their character and writing said character a verrrry normal amount, I am just 👀. Please write with me. (I have to ratgrab my mutuals gently soon, I have so many ((YOU INCLUDED)) amazing writers I want to reach out to.

Also-- ;;;; the formatting, art, or the general way someone conducts their blog... I love seeing all the stuff that makes the muns ans muses unique. A certain color of font used, or arts of characters posted--crazy headcanons that makes SO MUCH sense or maybe makes no sense but we love to see the creativity--... I adore the rpc so much. Whether I follow someone or not, seeing all the cool people enjoying their time here and making a space for their creativity inspires me so much. Every one of my mutuals have inspired me one way or another in creating more art/writing. I love you all ;;;

#skillswapping #axktheterrifyingghost #ooc;; out of station #//i should make it a rp meme sometime like send me an ask and i will tell you what I associate you/your blog with #//some mutuals have trademarked certain colors that reminds me of them #//crazy shitposts are proton-core forever #//pretty aesthetic posts and cool edits reminds me of pumpkaboo mun --so talented #//THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK