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#i have no idea what ppl think im coded as
vollerey · 8 months
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i just shit myself when i saw the new ash vid i almost had a flashback to echo thank god it was a literal ashy boii vid😭😭😭
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#good tweet anomaly#poetry#THIS IS POETRY TO ME.so at work.at my stupid gay job. i spend alot of time standing infront of tvs. just all over the place.#SO ALOT OF ADVERTIZMENTS ARE CONSTANTLY GETTING BEAMED INTO MY BRAIN.and honestly. i prefer TV ads over computer or mobile ads.#theyre still like. catching up if that makes sense. still feeling jsut a bit more human. i remember looking at the behind the scenes for ad#and thinking WOW!! they put soap in the glass for beer ads to make it foam up more!! they make food out of wax to make it look appealing!#they have to make such SPECIFIC MACHINES to rotate cameras JUST RIGHT for the PERFECT SHOT#THATS BEAUTIFUL!!! ISNT THAT COOL??just to say 'buy our stupif fucking thing' they bring together so many ppl#to do what humans do BEST!! THEY WORK TOGETHER AND CREATE!! THEY MAKE UP PROBLEMS TO SOLVE!!#scienceprojects in highschool were so cool sometimes. i remember working w other people to build towers out of marshmellows&spagheti sticks#these ppl werent exactly my friends. but it was still fun bc we were all really trying. bouncing ideas off eachother. working together.#i like thinking about how things are made. i LOVE looking behind the curtain and breaking the magicians code.#LIVING HAPPY MEANS FINDING BEAUTY IN ALL THINGS.so i will find the silver within the screen constantly blaring into my head.#so it cool to see ads that look like they took alot of effort and creative knowledge to make.could you imagine if it was all suddenly gone?#im on the side of robots. and its thegreedy n lazy n cruel people that want to bend a machine to their will. bc it cant yell and fight back#A COMPUTER MADE THIS BASED OFF WHAT IT WAS SPOONFED.its an amazing advancement of technology!but so was fire.#it WILL be used as a weapon.which is unfortunate.but we will adapt.we WILL adapt.in ways we may not expect.#got distracted n lost my train of thought. TILL NEXT TIME!!!!
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honeyboyfelix · 11 months
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making decisions for your characters.... hard 😓
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nopeferatu · 1 year
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i always feel so alienated when i see ppl talk abt the overrepresentation of tragedies within queer media and stuff bc while i do understand where ppl are coming from, i just enjoy consuming sad media in general lol so i cant truly relate to the frustration of not getting to see happy things.
and this isnt even me being critical of that argument bc i 100000% understand where it comes from, i 1000000% think its valid, studies have shown that queer people need positive representation to not feel so hopeless for their futures and stuff so like. i get it. i just like sad shit man! and i dont think we should stop having popular sad gay narratives altogether just bc of oversaturation.
i think its a hard convo to have bc we realize how rare the opportunity for mainstream gay media comes about and so i get that people don't want the "uber mainstream gay media" that happens twice a decade to be a tragic sad fest like they all are but i think maybe the answer is. we either need to change hollywood which is basically impossible OR we just like, stop looking to big hollywood studios for representation and start giving our money to independent studios who are making a lot of stories w queer ppl at the helm and stuff. because if we have a lot of different shows and films that involve queer people, then it wont matter if some of them are tragedies, and maybe then we can finally stop throwing groundbreaking queer media of our past under the bus and/or advocating for the death of queer tragedies when there are very much queers out there who love tragedies <- like me.
#the brokeback brainworms led me down some rabbitholes and im like grrrrrrr#me on the outside: youre allowed not to like the media i love bc we all have different tastes#me on the inside: *killing u with my mind*#i also just think the crit can be a little insensitive to the people who do see themselves represented by queer tragedies#like you guys do not know the depth of how much brokeback mountain affected ppl. like you probably have an idea but it runs fucking DEEP#and also i think that seeing young generations shit on queer tragedies of the past is kind of like a man yells at brick wall sit bc#the media already exists and you cant change it and they came out at times that were very different in terms of social acceptance of gays#so like idk. also in general im just a big advocate for trying to meet a piece of media halfway and judge its success based on what it was#trying to do within the context it was created in and like this goes for all movies not just gay movies and i think taking that approach#can make ppl better critics#but also i mean youre allowed to just not wanna get involved w sad media. esp sad gay media. i know a lot of ppl who are rly sensitive to#sad shit and thats totally fine. theres just ppl out there who are sensitive to sad shit in the opposite way in that we love it and it#consumes us and drives us to make changes in our lives for the better and so i would hate to see sad gays go away#in the end the true villain was the hayes code all along#like if they didnt make it a mandatory thing that gay people needed to fucking die in order to be represented at all we wouldnt#be having these conversations and youd let me fuck off to my mountain to get my back broken in a really sad way
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perenlop · 2 years
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i get this is a wild thing for ppl who dont know warrior cats to hear and sorry for that btw. but man every new thing i hear abt squirrelflight in the later books feels like the erins just trying their hardest to either make her suffer or demonize her (even tho iirc shes a fan fave regardless) and its like. man. leave her alone shes too good for yall
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ardourie · 3 months
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these ppl rlly cant imagine a world where their race comes before anything else, i am black before anything else, i am not bubbly or sweet or friendly or into art or music or gay or trans when people see me, i am just black, i donot get to be looked at which a clean slate, im black, my shyness in public is deemed rudeness and bitchy behavior bc im black, me being excited and “talking loud” is ghetto and aggressive, i dont get to have days where im not smiling often at work or else im the angry black person, when i wear colored braids im ghetto when i dont code switch im uneducated, if i defend myself from micro aggressions im violent, if i eat certain fucking foods im a stereotype, if i go in certain parts of town im a monkey, those people have no idea what its like, zero
it doesnt matter how i dress or how i talk or where i go or what i do i am always black in peoples eyes and how they view blackness is what defines how im treated, and it is evident especially on this website that they donot view blackness as anything good or valuable, james baldwins work was some of the first that helped me grapple with and cope with the fact that none of this is my fault as a kid, that this worlds cruelty to brown people is not justified nor indicative of who i am and who my people are, i guess it is easy to not consider a world where you aren’t just a person first, it is so easy to never think about how if you were a different race things would be so different for you, that “you” wouldnt be you to the general public at a glance, easy sure, but not whats normal, at a certain age you cant fall behind ignorance anymore you know the world you live in, u actively choose to not learn about the non white parts and its exceptionally crazy behavior for americans given the entire foundation of this country is built on black and brown bodies
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solar-sunnyside-up · 6 months
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hey! sorry to bother you, but is there anything a teen without transportation in a rural area can do on their own? im pretty isolated, and theres barely anything around me.
Hey ya sprout 🌱
**A disclaimer Punk comes with some risk socially. Particularly if your in a rural area this risk goes up bc people Know You and also typically these spaces have a different vibe to alt ppl in general. Some activities are more or less risky and I'll try and do my best to give you a range of stuff from the whole spectrum! Of course this is a generalization of rural areas. Some palaces will be more cool then others depending in so many factors I couldn't go into here**
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Rural solarpunk
Your gunna been to pick a topic, sorry babe. In order to not burn yourself out and in order to feel like you have an impact your gunna have to pick a cause to chip away at but I'll give you ideas! And remember just bc your focusing on one thing doesn't mean your ignoring or not helping others. Everything is interconnected and any help, helps all!
So let's give you some ideas to focus on:
Libraries- as a teen in particular you'll have access to a library at school, but depending on how big your town is you might have a public one as well. Become their biggest supporter! They are a great safe space, even conservative ones are still a good place to go for archiving/loitering purposes. They give you spaces to print stuff, to build clubs and community.
Archiving- if you cannot leave your house due to access you can always do stuff online and hear me out, i know when we do stuff online it feels like half points. Like we arent doing anything. I feel that with this blog, it feels so passive no matter how hard you work youll feel lesser. But Archiving is vital to humans! Think of the anthropologists wholl thank you down the road! Plus it does actually give you a way to have a physical representative of work your doing. Dvds, pirating media and archiving them to drives, collecting vinyls/tapes/cds!
DIY- To fight against fast fashion (although that barely exists in the towns I've been in tbh) and to stick out** you could make your own patches, battlejackets, gloves, etc.. They are statement pieces you can wear whenever your in town/at school/social spaces that ppl know what you stand for and who you are. Depending on who/where you are this might be risky so take what you can bare ok? You don't have to wear these items too you can just make them for later on!
Little libraries/little pantries- in a rural space you have more Gruella tactics you can take if you do them in random abandoned spaces. You could build a waterproof little pantry and stock it and leave info somewhere about it for ppl to drop off/pick up items. Stock it with mittens! With canned goods! With books! You might be able to do a space like this at school/library depending in how cool your town is too!
Zines- You could look into making a zine and even if it's digital you could have the QR code for download in places (stickers on lamp posts, flyers in school bathrooms, hidden in a churches pamphlet stacks >.>) making a zine is a cool task that is time consuming and informative and fun!
Vandalism- like I said you can often print off stuff at Libraries, or usually you can find a place to print stuff off near or at post offices depending on how modern your rural space is. if you have your own printer this will reduce your risk by quite a bit though! Create/find stickers or posters you want to toss across town or even school. I'd recommend starting off with some stickers and see how their handled, dipping your toes is important with these kinda things. If your really feeling it, and you know some abandoned places Moss Graffiti is also a good option! I've know ppl who have converted old abandoned stored to skate parks (I honestly have no idea how they built the ramps out of concrete but damn!! Good job guys!)
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Also I'll leave you with 2 book recommendations as well-
Moxie - a RIOT GRRRL story about a girl who gets so fed up with her conservative town she makes a feminist zine and distributes it via girl bathrooms (even having a basically me too stickers and encouraging ppl to put it on boys lockers who have assaulted them). I know there's a movie, didn't seem to capture the same vibe tho so book!
Braiding Sweetgrass - this focuses a lot on reconnecting and adding story to nature around us and having science along side spirituality
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sortagaysortahigh · 2 years
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Trailer Park Pretty | Eddie Munson
A/N: I had so many concept ideas for this specific fic, but i present to you hurt/comfort friends to lovers with our nerd king. Also as usual my reader is coded, and in this specific fic she leans towards being black coded w big curly hair, and one last thing, before anyone tries to pull the ‘well its obv ab a white reader bc white ppl live in trailer parks’, i just KNOW you’ve never been to the south bc there’s hella black/brown trailer parks down there...like bitch don’t play w me. ALSO this is fanon...so for the sake of this spcific fic dustin and susie arent together lmao
Summary:  “A girl like that? She’s what you call trailer park pretty, she gets it from her mama, she’s gonna have a guy from every corner of the park and beyond after her-you just gotta be the one to get her attention and treat her right cause there’s gonna be a lot of them that won’t.”
Warnings: angst, mentions of domestic abuse/parent in an abusive relationship (brief, not graphic), mentions of a deceased father (i give my y/n’s trauma im sorry), mentions of insecurity, eldest sister who takes care of her family instead of herself, mentions of cornography (dirty magazines, sci-fi based corn, Eddie’s Heavy metal magazines), spelling and grammar errors, brief mentions of sex, mentions of mary jane, mentions of absent parental figures, mentions of trauma, violence (broken bottles, cuts/scrapes, and a cast iron skillet, broken/shattered hands) - nothing happens to the main characters
Word Count: 11.5k
Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
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(so totally very much in love)
Eddie Munson had quite the crush on one of his neighbors-Y/n y/l/n to be specific or as he called her ‘Curly’-courtesy of her big curly hair that she’d been sporting since they were kids.
Her family had been living in their red and white trailer for as long as he could remember. They lived on the lot to the left of his, her family consisted of Y/n, her mother, and her little sister who was nearly finished with her freshman year at Hawkins High and based on the way guys were constantly dropping the girl off-he knew she had the same charm as her meaner older sister.
Y/n Y/l/n was the definition of pretty, growing up his crush on Y/n came and went depending on the status of their friendship. But one thing he knew for sure was that she’d gotten prettier and prettier as they grew up, and anytime he asked his uncle for advice about her-especially when the two attended Hawkins at the same time-Wayne always told him the same thing. 
“A girl like that? She’s what you call trailer park pretty, she gets it from her mama, she’s gonna have a guy from every corner of the park and beyond after her-you just gotta be the one to get her attention and treat her right cause there’s gonna be a lot of them that won’t.” 
Wayne was right about one thing, the older she got, the more male attention she got. When the two went to school together he remembered seeing her in the hallways, constantly rolling her eyes as some guy offered to hold her books and walk her to class, or they’d try to talk to her at her locker, not to mention the way they’d always ask her to sports games, some even offering her their jersey-trying to make some ‘big’ statement-she rejected them all. The only person she hadn’t completely rejected was Steve Harrington, but after one date she let him down as softly as she could.
It was after he’d been dumped by Wheeler-Eddie remembered hearing about it through the grapevine, he almost felt bad for Steve. Getting cheated on, then dumped, then he actually thinks he gets the girl but she has to let him down because apparently Y/n knew that he was still in love with his ex. However, now they were friends-to the point that he’d seen Steve pick her up several times. 
She was always so close, yet so far out of reach. He’d never even been able to make a move, anytime he tried to speak to her he’d get nervous and completely move past it, opting to talk about music, his band, what she’d been up to-hell he knew a lot about flower maintenance because he’d always see her outside the trailer, taking care of the potted plants lining the front of it. 
It wasn’t like she was a bitch to him, she’d actually always been nice to Eddie, probably because they’d been neighbors and as kids the two were friends, but they drifted apart due to their different interests. Eddie loved music and Y/n loved nature. So while he was inside learning how to play the guitar, she was outside tending to her mother’s plants, or she’d ride her bike to the forest and trudge her way around it-granted an unsupervised twelve year old alone in the forest wasn’t a great reflection of her mother’s parenting-however Y/n easily roped her sister into going with her.
As long as the girl had her backpack full of drinks, snacks, and supplies, alongside her trusty compass, and the crowbar her mother spray painted pink and told her to use if anyone ever came into the house when she wasn’t home-then the two were perfectly fine. Some days Eddie would see Y/n on her bike with her sister in tow, the two riding off towards the forest, and other days she’d hear the sounds of him strumming chords when she’d walk past his trailer-that’s just how it was.
But that didn’t mean Y/n was nice to everyone. She’d grown up poor-he knew that-hell anyone who lived in Forest Hills knew that-because they all lived it. She’d been chastised and bullied as a kid, growing a thick skin by the ripe age of ten-and by then she was fighting boys on the playground. Of course the classism didn’t end in elementary school, kids were mean-and those same kids grew into spoiled rotten teenagers. She had no issue in socking guys twice her size in the face-and she had a mean right hook.
So it’s safe to say Y/n had quite the reputation in Hawkins, even after she’d graduated last year people still spoke about her when they spoke about her younger sister. To the point that even Eddie had heard the older jocks warning their younger teammates about even trying to date Mia Y/l/n, saying if she was anything like her older sister they’d need God’s good graces. Not to mention the fact that they’d have to actually go through with meeting her sister, the girl still had that pink crowbar.
She was perfect, at least he thought so.
When he stepped outside he hadn’t expected to see her outside, the only people he expected to see were his neighbors who worked at one of the plants or factories-either coming home or leaving for a long shift. But there she was, her wild frizzy hair blowing slightly in the morning breeze, an oversized flannel over her body-and he couldn’t help but crack a smile at the way it was clearly buttoned unevenly, and from what he could see she had on her bunny slippers. 
He watched for a few seconds as she pulled the clean laundry from the clothesline, holding a white basket to her hip as she pulled the articles off with her free hand. Then she spotted him, raising a brow. 
“Hey Munson!” she had to yell a little bit so he’d hear her completely,”hey Curly!” he lifted a hand, waving it at her, trying not to blush as he noticed the smile on her face as she rolled her eyes. Then she grabbed the final few pieces of clothes before turning around and heading back inside. The entire time he stood there he was blushing and smiling, he looked like a lovesick puppy-then he finally snapped out of it, fishing his van keys out of his pocket as he walked up it, unlocking the back doors and rummaging through-looking for a specific tape of his band’s new songs.
However, no less than ten minutes later, when he finally found the tape, he heard the front door of her trailer slam open, followed by her mother’s boyfriend clearly being shoved out, stumbling slightly with a long cut along his cheekbone, blood clearly dripping along his face-not to mention the cast iron skillet that clanked loudly as it hit one of the wooden steps then the gravel below. Then he spotted Y/n walk out, her mother tried to chase after her-but Mia held her mom back. Meanwhile Y/n held a broken beer bottle-probably the reason he was bleeding in her hand.
He watched as she ran behind him, kicking him in the back of one of his knees-then in his moment of imbalance she shoved him to the ground, one foot against his back, the other stepping on one of his hands-the cry of pain from him unmistakable as she gripped him by the hair, pulling his head back-ignoring his shouts of pain as she pointed the broken bottle to his face as she spoke.
“You think you can put your fuckin hands on my mama like that? You come around here again-I’ll drag you by your fuckin hair to Monroe’s and feed you to the pigs alive.” she stepped harder onto his hand-clearly shattering part of it “you understand me you old fuck?” he winced as she pressed one of the broken ends of the bottle into his cheek. “I said, do you fuckin understand me?” 
“Yes-y-yes” she smiled, dropping his head-and it immediately fell flat against the cobblestone and grass below. “Good. Now get the fuck outta here before I get my dad’s gun, I’ve got jack shit to lose” with that she kept one foot on his back, the other off his broken hand as she stepped over him. Her mother stared with tears running down her cheeks while Mia looked both impressed and terrified. 
All Eddie could do was stare, his eyes wide and jaw dropped. This wasn’t the first time he’d seen something like that living in Forest Hills, it was no secret that a good portion of the men that were brought around here weren’t good guys. But he’d never witnessed Y/n like that-at least not with a grown man. Sure he’d seen her sock a few guys in the face here and there, but his heart was racing as he watched her single handedly take down her mother’s now ex-boyfriend. He shouldn’t have found that as attractive as he did-but he couldn’t help it.
What Eddie didn’t know was that Y/n hadn’t even meant for that to happen. As soon as she walked into the trailer she placed the clean laundry basket on the floral patterned couch, she wanted to make breakfast for her mom and sister, then fold clothes, and once the two were headed to school and work, she planned on cleaning the trailer then she was planning on taking the lot rent check in. However that quickly changed the second she heard her mother fighting with one of her shitty boyfriends-this ones named paul. 
She watched as the two of them walked through the trailer, her mother followed behind him, berating him about his whereabouts yesterday-it was clear things had escalated fast-but the second she noticed him grab her mother’s shoulder the way he did alongside the pained look on her face-Y/n easily connected the dots especially after spotting a bruise on her mother’s back a few days ago. So she did what any rational almost-twenty year old would do, she grabbed an empty beer bottle off the counter.
The next few moments were a blur, it felt almost like an episode of Looney Tunes-she grabbed his shoulder as hard as she could-and she immediately hit him with the bottle-glass breaking and slicing his cheek right open. Then as he stumbled slightly she grabbed the cast iron skillet from the counter and didn’t hesitate to smack him with it, watching as he fell backwards into the door-falling right through it, stumbling outside. 
Meanwhile her mother was shouting for her to stop, while Mia came running from their shared room-immediately grabbing her mother the second they stepped outside-watching as her older sister did what she did best-took care of them. 
The icing on the cake however was Y/n walking past her mother and sister-handing Mia the bottle and mumbling “just incase” then she rushed inside, emptying the laundry basket onto the couch before rushing to her mother’s room, gather all of her boyfriends random things-followed by his car keys and rushing back out, heading to his beat up sedan, unlocking it and throwing all of his shit inside of it. Then she walked the few steps back towards him, threw the keys on the ground next to him.
“Get the fuck up and go!” she stared down at him, watching as he struggled to get off the floor. The entire time she didn’t move, she watched as he made his way to his car and got in-her eyes held on him until he was speeding off. 
That’s when she noticed Eddie staring, she didn’t even acknowledge it, simply turning back around and making her way towards her mother and sister “are you two okay?” the concern in her voice evident as she paused in front of them-her hands on her sisters face first-making sure she was alright, then she pulled her crying mother into a hug-she’d always been a little taller than her mom so it made it easier to gently massage her scalp as she hugged her. 
The entire reason Y/n always rejected guys was simple, she didn’t have time for a relationship-not when she was the glue that kept her family together. Sure she had crushes here and there, but she didn’t think too deeply into them, she’d grown up taking care of Mia while her mom worked long hours to keep a roof over their heads, but now as an adult she found herself taking care of her mother and Mia. She never gave herself the opportunity to be mad about it-knowing that dwelling wouldn’t change things.
She did the best she could with the minimal free time she had, of course the girl had a few one night stands in high school-but now she avoided them, opting to spend those nights sitting on top of the trailer stargazing, or she’d be reading-lately she’d been into the lord of the rings saga, Eddie recommended it a while ago and she’d never gotten around to it, other times she’d focus on cleaning, keeping things nice and tidy.
“Go finish getting ready, I’ll drive you to school today Mia.”
Once her mother and sister went back inside, she stood outside for a few more minutes, then she went inside, grabbing the pack of marlboro reds from her mother’s jacket hanging by the door alongside a lighter, then she walked back outside, sitting on the wooden steps, placing one between her lips and lighting it. She’d never been a strong cigarette smoker-but when she was stressed and had things to do and weed wasn’t an option, it was the next best thing. It set in that it wasn’t even seven thirty yet as she smoked, her gaze held on the skyline past the Mayfield’s trailer-it always looked the prettiest looking that way. 
Eddie shoved the tape into his pocket and made his way over there, she didn’t say anything-but he knew she saw him. Then he sat next to her on the steps, watching as she absentmindedly handed him the pack of cigarettes and the lighter, which he accepted. 
“You think life ever gets better Eddie?” he shrugged as he lit the cigarette, taking a quick puff before speaking “for people like you? Yeah definitely” her brows knit together as she exhaled smoke, gaze now held on him “people like me?” he nodded his head “yeah, protective, rough shell-soft heart, good person-yeah, life’ll get better for you” she slowly nodded “I dunno if almost murdering a forty year old man makes me a good person” he laughed at that, nodding his head as he turned to look at her.
“Looks like he deserved it to me” she cracked a small smile, nodding her head “I hit him with a pan” he laughed at that, shaking his head “that’s one way to get your point across” she rolled her eyes as she lightly shoved him.
Moments like these always reminded Eddie of why he’d fallen for her in the first place, regardless of if they were talking every single day or once every other month it was as if nothing had changed. She was always so warm around him, her wide smile almost always made its way to her face as they spoke, and she was so comfortable around him. He was practically her childhood best friend-sure they weren’t extremely close anymore but they’d still been around for one another if need be.
She leaned her head against his shoulder “be honest with me Munson-did I look like a psycho?” he laughed at that, shaking his head “looked pretty badass to me, gotta say, I’ve never seen someone in bunny slippers take down a grown man” she rolled her eyes, the same smile on her face as she put the cigarette out on the steps below. “Someones gotta protect them y’know” he slowly nodded, his brows knit together as he processed her words.
“So who’s gonna protect you?” she sat back up, shrugging with a confused look on her face “I’ve never really thought of that-guess I am? I mean i’ve been doing it pretty well for years” he nodded again, looking at her, he then took a second to gently tuck one of her curls out of her face behind her ear. “Remember when we were kids and you made me promise I’d always be there for you if you needed someone” she smiled, grasping his hand that had been ghosting her face and moving it away.
“That’s cause you pushed me off of the jungle gym and I broke my arm” he laughed “Hey! That’s just semantics! What I’m trying to say is-if you ever need someone y’know where to find me” she nodded her head at that “thank you Eddie” “course Curly, that’s what friends are for-and neighbors I guess?” she shoved him again, laughing now “you’re so lame Munson” she heard the door behind her creak open-the two of them turning their gazes towards it-spotting Mia looking down at them.
“Oh uh-hey Eddie. Uhm, are you ready to go?” she raised a brow at her sister “what time is it” Mia shrugged “almost seven thirty-like five off” she nodded her head “yeah just gotta change my shoes” with that she stood up, and Eddie followed suit. “Uh, I’m gonna head back but like I said Curly, you know where to find me” she smiled, watching as he stepped down, nodding her head.
Then she went inside and opted to change into her vans, she kept on the flannel because she knew she wasn’t going anywhere after dropping off her sister. The two sisters walked out first, then as they were getting into the old beat up Camry, their mother followed suit, only in her work clothes-the diner uniform having a few unwashable stains on it. “Y/n where’s my cigarettes?” she reached into her jacket’s pocket, tossing them to her mother, then she followed suit with the lighter. “I’ll be home late tonight okay, working a double” the two nodded their heads.
Then they were headed their separate ways. 
However less than five minutes into the drive Mia turned the radio down, staring at her sister. 
“What’s up with you and Munson?” her brows knit together at the question as she quickly glanced at her sister-then back at the road. It was clear that Mia was serious, however Y/n didn’t get where the question came from. “Uh nothing? We’re friends” she slowly nodded “so why don’t you hang out with him then-if you’re friends”
“Because I don’t have time and he probably has too much time” Mia laughed at that, nodding her head. It was no secret that Eddie was repeating his senior year for the third time-however from what she’d gathered he was finally on the way to graduate. “That's total bull! You spend your time reading those nerdy books and stargazing! You definitely have time!” she shushed her sister, reaching to turn the radio back on-however Mia immediately turned it back down.
“Come to think of it, the only people you hang out with are your co-workers, and sure Robin and Steve are technically your friends-you don’t even hang with them off the clock! But you also don’t look at them the way you look at Eddie!” she scoffed “now I know you’re bullshiting me Mia! I do not look at Eddie any different than anyone else.” 
“Yes you do! You have like this little sparkle in your eye! And you’re all smiley and giggly! You’re never like that!” her brows knit together again as she shook her head “I am not all smiley and giggly! I don’t giggle you little shit!” she nodded her head “yes you do! I’ve only ever heard you giggle around Eddie! Even when we were younger and you’d show him some weird bug you found!” 
She rolled her eyes “Hey! You liked the weird bugs too!” her sister scoffed “stop changing the subject! What's going on between you and him! Are you two gonna date!” her eyes practically popped out of her head at the question-granted she used to have a crush on him-but she hadn’t thought about that in years. “No! What the hell!” Mia slightly squinted, skepticism evident on her features “so why’d he say you know where to find him huh?! Don’t you think it’s time you go on a date and get a boyfriend! He’s cute too!” she scoffed again “Mia! I am not going on any dates! Quit it! Me and him are just friends!” 
As Y/n pulled into the Hawkins High parking lot she sighed, parking the car and staring at her sister “now cut it out! Besides, don't you have your own love life to worry about!” Mia shook her head “actually, no. I don’t. I enjoy being single, besides the guys here are tools. I just like getting rides home-but today I’m going to Tina’s so you don’t have to get me.” she nodded her head at Mia, digging in the pocket of her shorts and pulling out a ten dollar bill, handing it to her.
“I know you’ve been saving the money mom gives you and mooching off of other people you little shit” her sister laughed “hey! I know you did it too! Free food from dumb guys is worth it!” she raised a brow “you’re something else Mia, now go before you’re late!” with that Mia got out of the car, slutting the door “bye! Love ya!” to which Y/n responded with “love ya more!”
A few hours had passed, and while Y/n was home cleaning, Eddie was currently sitting in the cafeteria listening to Henderson ramble on about the really pretty girl in his math class. Something about how smart she was, and the way she always smelled so good-which he defended himself in saying it wasn’t creepy because he sat behind her.
“Eddie, are you even listening?” he blinked a few times, nodding his head “uh yeah, something about a girl in your math class Henderson?” Everyone stared at him with confused expressions, he almost never zoned out mid conversation-usually he was the one to further the conversation with his commentary or advice to his younger friends. 
Gareth cleared his throat “he’s talking about Mia” Eddie’s eyes widened “as in Mia Y/l/n?” the brunette nodded, then Eddie was looking at Dustin “you’re into Curly’s sister?” the freshman looked confused “who’s curly? I know she has an older sister-didn’t know you two were friends though” Eddie nodded his head “yeah we’re neighbors, we’ve been friends since I was like six and she was five” 
“So what’s the big deal exactly? Mias really nice-sure she clearly takes advantage of meatheads-but I’m not a meathead and I’m a gentleman!” Dustin spoke with his hands, glancing between Jeff, Gareth, then Eddie. Earning a slight grimace from Jeff “Mia might be nice-but her sister’s definitely not. She wasn’t a bully but she definitely isn’t the friendliest-and she threw a literal encyclopedia at Jason Carver last year” Gareth nodded his head before adding “Not to mention she broke the star runningback’s nose because he tried to touch her ass-mind you the guy was like six four and she just went for it” 
Eddie nodded his head, but unlike his two friends, he had a large dopey smile on his face while he thought about it, leading to Mike furrowing his brows and staring at him “why do you look like you’re in love with her?” Gareth laughed “because he is, he’s been into her for years-completely refuses to make a move!” Eddie scoffed “ignore the drummer, Curly and I are just friends-totally fine with being just friends. Besides she’s not the relationship type” 
Jeff raised a brow “are you saying that as an excuse to not make a move?” he scoffed “No! Have you ever seen her in a relationship? The only guy who’s ever gotten a date with her was Harrington-and even she let him down!” Dustin and Mike glanced at one another before they both made the realization. “Wait Y/n that works at the Family Video?!” the three older guys nodded at Dustin.
“Wait so Robin was serious about her being scary sometimes? She’s only ever been really nice to me” Eddie laughed “because she’s not an asshole-tell you what Henderson, I’ll talk to her about her sister and see where her heads at” Dustin’s eyes widened, brows raising as he shook his head “no-no don’t do that-cause then she’s gonna figure out I told you-and she knows who I am-what if she doesn’t like me? No-that’s completely gonna ruin my chances!”
However before the conversation could continue Gareth quickly shushed Dustin, then turned his gaze to Mia who was now standing on the opposite end of the lunch table, a textbook in one of her hands and the other held a can of soda as she stared directly at Eddie and cleared her throat. 
“Munson, are you into my sister?” he scoffed “wha? Me? No-nope-never she’s just a friend” Mia blinked a few times “you’re lying this morning you two were awfully close, don’t make me steal your car battery, empty your oil, and steal your spark plugs” his jaw slightly dropped “how the hell do you know how to do any of that” she shrugged “your girlfriend is how, so it’s true that you’re in love with her?”
Gareth and Jeff tried to hold in their laugh-but they did a terrible job at it and the second she looked at them the two of them nodded their heads rapidly. “Case and point. Now here’s the deal Munson, you’re gonna ask her on a date and make her feel special and sweet because she’s been through a lot lately and you’re the only person that makes her all smiley and giggly. If you don’t ask her out soon I’m popping your tires” 
His jaw dropped, face now tinted a bright red as he stared at the fifteen year old girl across from him, he couldn’t tell if he was embarrassed or intimidated-or embarrassed that a fifteen year old wearing a madonna t-shirt was intimidating him. “You’re way too much like your sister, especially when you make demands” she raised a brow “She raised me you dufus, now do we have a deal or not?” he knit his brows together “how is that a deal?” 
“You get to date my sister-which we all know you’re dying to do, in return I don’t pop your tires, I thought it was pretty simple. But honestly I think this is the only way to actually get you to act on your feelings” Dustin stared at Mia mesmerized, his lips slightly pouted and brows slightly raised as he watched the entire interaction. Meanwhile Mike was glancing between everyone as if he was on the sidelines of a sports game, Jeff and Gareth were both snickering at Eddie’s embarrassment, and Eddie was staring in shock.
“Uh? I- she’s not even into me like that” she rolled her eyes “yes she is, she had the biggest crush on you her sophomore year and never shut up about you. I guarantee it’s still there underneath her layers of bitchiness.” he blinked a few times “wait are you serious-” she cut him off “you’ll do it! Great!-” then she glanced at Dustin, a small smile on her face “Hi Dustin, see you next period” with that she left, leaving both Eddie and Dustin dumbfounded as they processed what just happened.
In true Eddie Munson fashion he decided to skip the rest of the day, instead opting to drive home before this evening’s Hellfire session and grab a few things-he also hopped into the shower because for some reason in his head he needed to shower before walking next door and talking to the girl of his dreams. However, when he’d barely finished pulling on his jeans he heard someone knocking on his door-leading to him answering it while drying his wet hair with a towel and being completely shirtless. 
“Uh-Hi Eddie” his eyes widened as he registered that it was her, stepping to the side slightly “Hey-uh hi-come in Curly” she nodded her head, walking past him-trying to ignore the way he smelled like green apples, not to mention his lack of shirt-her gaze slipping to his somewhat toned chest-then she easily snapped out of it as she made her way to his room. She knew the layout of his trailer like the back of her hand, not much had changed in terms of the living room decor. Wayne’s hats and mug collections only increased over the years, and while it wasn’t one hundred percent clean, it was pretty tidy given the fact that it was Eddie and his uncle. 
He watched from the doorway as she grabbed a few stray clothing items from the floor and his bed, tossing them into his closet. “Can I ask why you’re cleaning my shit up?” she shrugged “I clean when I’m stressed-besides you’re the one with shit everywhere” she raised a brow as she glanced at him. He slowly nodded, watching as she got to his bed, grabbing his large comforter and shaking it off-then she laid it across the sheet clad mattress and situated herself on top of it, grabbing one of his pillows and holding it over her lap. 
“Are you gonna finish getting dressed?” he blinked a few times, nodding his head as he grabbed a Motley Crue shirt, throwing it on then he tossed the wet towel over the door-hanging it to dry. In the process she’d gotten off his bed, now standing in front of his rickety bookshelf, manicured fingers tracing along the spines of his books, things ranging from Tolkien to Dungeons and Dragons Dungeon Master’s Guides to Stephen King to Alexander Dumas. 
“Do you ever feel like your life is just constantly falling apart?” her voice caught him off guard, he’d been sitting in his bed-gaze held on her while he watched her delicately admire his things. She pulled out a copy of The Hobbit-gently opening the worn book-tracing her fingers along the pages as she spoke “Like it’s like one second things are going really, really good, and the next everything is just falling to shit” 
He nodded his head “I think that’s part of life-y’know you have to go through the good to get to the bad, it’s like the scales don’t ever really balance out” she let out a choked laugh, it was at this point he realized she was crying-and that’s probably why she kept her gaze on the book in front of her-rather than him. 
Even as kids she never cried in front of him, only when she’d broken her arm and was in too much pain to stop the tears. He immediately jumped up from his bed, and as he stood behind her he was slightly nervous-but he went for it, grasping her arm gently-spinning her around and carefully prying the book from her hold-tossing it onto his messy dresser before pulling her into a hug.
He wrapped his arms around her, rubbing soft circles into her back as she gripped the sides of his shirt-her soft sniffles were the only sound heard for a few minutes as he gently swayed, doing his best to comfort her. “I’m getting your shirt all dirty” he laughed “doesn’t matter to me sweetheart” she sniffled again, feeling the damp spot formed on his chest from her tears against her cheek. 
“You don’t always have to be the strong one y’know, it’s okay to cry every now and then” she laughed slightly, pulling away from him as she wiped her tears with the backs of her thumbs “it’s not that easy Eddie” he raised a brow, grasping her hand and pulling her towards his bed-then he sat down first, motioning for her to join him.
She giggled slightly, rolling her teary eyes as she sat back in his bed, however he pulled her closer to him, opting to pull her between his legs, wrapping his arms around her waist as she leaned into his chest. The two hadn’t sat together like this since her sophomore year, but it still felt the same-as if nothing had changed.
One of his hands gently rested against her exposed thigh, tracing small circles into her skin “it’s like if I’m not there for them-then no one is. And I know it’s stupid to want to take care of my mom when she’s barely fifteen years older than me but it’s like what am I supposed to do? She just constantly brings home pieces of shit and she lets them treat her like shit. Then Mia-God I had to raise Mia, when my dad died I was only five, and that was the year we moved here, she was a baby and I had to figure out how to change diapers, make bottles, and keep us fed because otherwise what the hell were we supposed to do?” 
She sniffed as she spoke, wiping her tears away occasionally. “But now it’s like Mia’s fifteen, and I love her to pieces but I just don’t want her to end up with guys like the ones my mom ends up with-she needs a kid like Henderson or something, someone who’s sweet and kind and a nerd, and just genuinely cares about her for her.” Eddie laughed at that, a small smile on his face. “Y’know Henderson has a crush on her? Talked about it today” she smiled.
“Good. Because the assholes she lets drive her home? She just craves male validation because she’s never had it-but refuses to admit that. She’s gonna end up doing the same stupid shit I did and losing her virginity to some asshole who’s gonna treat her like shit” he tensed up slightly, however he had to remind himself that it was all a thing of the past-he couldn’t change the past. 
“And now it’s like, I work to help pay bills, to help do everything that I shouldn’t have to fucking do! I was working at Benny’s for like three years before he passed, I didn’t even get to have the shitty teenage experience because I was too worried about our rent, or our electricity, or the water, and all the shit that teenagers shouldn’t have to fucking care about” he shifted one of his hands, moving it from her waist to her hand, intertwining their fingers and giving her hand a small squeeze as she spoke. He knew she just needed someone to listen, and that’s exactly what he was doing.
“It’s just so fucking unfair. I’m barely gonna be twenty and here I am, taking care of my thirty five year old mother and my fifteen year old sister-constantly having to wonder about their well being because of the assholes ma brings around, and worrying about how Mia’s doing in school-I could’ve gone to fucking college. I graduated in the top ten of my class, but instead I’m stuck in Hawkins and everytime something feels like it’s going well-everything has to fall apart. Like today-jesus christ I had a whole meltdown after I dropped Mia off because that shit’s traumatic-and I can’t even fully acknowledge that it’s traumatic because it feels so normal”
She paused for a second, shaking her head, gaze held on the ceiling as tears welled in her eyes. “I learned how to fight because I was bullied-and now I'm fighting forty year old men? On what feels like a fucking weekly basis. And like you said-who’s gonna protect me? Who’s gonna take care of me? I’ve been taking care of everyone else my entire life and never for a second has anyone really truly taken care of me-and I won’t even let them if they try because I’m so scared they’re gonna leave or end up like one of my mom’s boyfriends, or just treat me like shit-or what if I get too attached to them” 
“I probably sound so pathetic right now” he shook his head, leaning his chin against her shoulder “no you sound like someone who’s been through a lot and hasn’t had time to actually think about it. You just bottle shit up-always have” she scoffed “says who?” He raised a brow, placing a gentle kiss against her cheek-he didn’t even know what motivated him to do so but he did anyway.
“Says me-you’ve been doing it since we were kids. You didn’t even tell me your dad died until you were eight because you refused to acknowledge it, then you ran back home and didn’t come outside for a week.” she rolled her eyes “that’s different!” he shook his head “mmm no it’s not, you don’t like to think about the bad shit that happens to you so you occupy yourself until you have no choice but to address things because something makes it all spill out-this morning is a prime example of that”
She blinked a few times “when did you become mister psychologist” he shrugged “dunno, life experience helps you figure shit out” she now shifted, turning around to face him, her legs crossed as she sat between his, before she could say anything he wiped her tears away gently with his thumbs “stop being so soft Munson, it takes away from the rockstar thing” he rolled his eyes “I can still be a rockstar and be soft with the girl I’ve known my entire life”
“Uh huh, sure you can.” he raised a brow “are you deflecting? You are! Keep talking princess, y’know you have a lot to get off your chest” she scoffed “no I don’t” he raised a brow “you found out your mother was in a shitty relationship and literally kicked her boyfriends ass this morning, and based on what you just said-this isn’t the first time something like that has happened with her” 
“You’re good at reading people and I hate you for it” he smiled at her joke, nodding his head “I’m here for you, all ears, ready to listen and follow you to the ends of the earth.” she raised a brow “even into Mordor?” his eyes widened “wait! You read it?!” she cracked a smile, rolling her eyes “maybe” he nodded his head “yeah I’d follow you into Mordor” 
“There’s one other thing that’s been bothering me since this morning-and it’s gonna sound stupid-so don’t laugh at it. We can unpack my mommy issues on a different day-trust me that’s gonna take hours and I’d rather not focus on that” he slowly nodded his head “so what’s the other pressing matter?”
“Y’know how I said, I've never gotten to like have that teenage experience?” he hummed in acknowledgement “this morning Mia was talking to me about someone, anyways he’s not important-but it had me thinking that I’ve never even been on a real date, and like yeah I’ve had sex-I mean it was probably because I needed validation and felt like shit at the time-but it’s also like I wouldn’t even give anyone the time of day. I didn’t even make it to the actual date with Steve-but thank God I didn't. He was so in love with Nancy it wasn’t even funny-but like is there something wrong with me?” 
He had to hold in his laugh, an upside down smile on his face as he tried to hold it back “you’re gonna laugh! You said you wouldn’t!” he shook his head, letting the laugh slip out “it’s just that I never really thought you’d be into that stuff” she rolled her eyes “what girl doesn’t want to be whisked away by her prince charming? Just because I’m a bitch doesn’t mean I don’t want to be loved you ass!” she leaned forward, shoving him slightly.
He raised his brows “who would’ve thought, mean ol Curly who’s smashed more windshields in her life than I can imagine wants to be wined and dined” she scoffed “shut up!” he smirked, wiggling his eyebrows up and down “oh c’mon you know it’s true! Miss ' I reject every guy who’s ever tried’ wants to find her prince charming!” she grabbed his pillow and didn’t hesitate to smack him with it.
“Seriously? A pillow fight? Are you ten?” she scoffed, squinting her eyes slightly, now standing on her knees as she tried to take the pillow back from him “maybe I am! Let me live you ass! Give it back” he tugged it a little too hard and it sent her falling into him, Eddie landing flat on his back while Y/n landed on top of the pillow-above his chest.
It was silent for a few seconds before the room erupted with laughter, however when she tried to get up and grab the pillow from him he easily tugged it from under her-however that lead to her letting out a small ‘yelp’ as her shirt was slightly rolled up and she fell into his chest, mumbling “you moron” but then she looked up at him, placing her palms on his chest, then resting her chin atop them. “Thank you Eddie” he looked down at her-the angle definitely awkward but worth it because she looked beautiful “for what?” she smiled “for listening”
“I’ll always be here to listen” she smiled, then she moved, now sitting up while he still laid in place-gaze on the ceiling, a dopey smile on his face.
“Can I borrow your copy of the Hobbit?” he sat up, now staring at her with a singular brow raised-giving himself a mental pep talk “only if you let me take you on a date” her brows knit together, lips slightly parted as she stared at him, unsure what to say “hear me out Curly, you’ve never gotten that first date, and I think I know you pretty well-so instead of sitting on top of your place and star gazing-let me take you on a date”
“Why?” he shrugged “because you deserve it” she smiled at that, looking down at her hands as she fidgeted with the singular gold ring she wore all the time-it was her father’s. “So do we have a deal?” she bit her bottom lip, a small laugh leaving her lips before she glanced at him again “yeah, we have a deal” he nodded “tonight or tomorrow at seven?” “Are you picking me up?” he laughed “course, my chariot awaits” then she raised a brow “don’t you have Hellfire tonight?” 
“Aw Curly, you remembered?” she rolled her eyes “it’s almost like you’ve been talking about Hellfire nonstop for the past five years-course I remembered. Just because we don’t talk all the time doesn’t mean I just randomly up and forgot you dweeb”
She laughed again as she stood up from his bed, walking over and grabbing the book before she spotted something from the corner of her eye-he stared at her confused as she squatted down-then she grabbed the black magazine, her eyes widening at the Heavy Metal magazine-specifically the cover art. Then she flipped through the pages.
“Holy shit-” his eyes widened as he realized what she was looking at, meanwhile she was turning the magazine slightly, angling her head to get a better look at the image “so you’re into like sci fi porn? What the fuck is that?” she squinted slightly “Oh she’s like a cyborg? Wait is she getting fucked-oh no nevermind I don’t think that’s that-” she tilted the magazine again “actually wait is she getting fucked? I can’t tell if that’s a robo dick” he was stunned-he expected her to judge him, instead she was flipping through the pages and examining the artwork. 
It’s safe to say he was falling even deeper into his ‘I’m in love with Y/n Y/l/n’ hole. 
“Aren’t you like weirded out?” she shrugged then shook her head-still looking at the magazine, now holding it at a ninety degree angle as she examined a long image that looked like a raunchy star wars knock off. “No, you’re a guy-figured, you'd have something to y’know help with the job, plus the artistry is actually kinda interesting-and I’m gonna wash my hands anyway” Then she turned the page “oh wait! It has like stories! i thought it was just porn honestly-this makes more sense it’s like sci fi and fantasy but with tits?” 
He nodded his head slowly “so do you have more of these? Or is this the fan favorite?” he rolled his eyes “are you really asking me about my spank bank?” she giggled, and he was trying to ignore the way he was blushing while she glanced back towards where she found it-spotting another one but deciding to leave it be. Then she shut the magazine and placed it on his dresser, she acted nonchalant but in all reality her mind was racing and for the first time in forever she thought of Eddie in that way. “So tomorrow? Seven” he nodded his head, watching as she grabbed the book once again. 
“It’s a date Sweetheart” she rolled her eyes at the pet name-but her smile was still evident and as she turned to leave he wanted to stop her but he didn’t want to overstep. So he just let her go, but little did he know her smile had widened the second she opened the door and walked outside, a skip in her step as she made her way back to her place-holding the book closely to her chest. 
She’d never felt this way before, maybe it was because her crush on Eddie had never really gone away-she just didn’t think about it because it wasn’t a pressing matter. Hell she’d never really thought of herself over the past few years, making sacrifices for her family at her own expense. She didn’t want to regret anything, and based on Eddie’s subtle input-she shouldn’t regret it, rather she needed to learn how to let people in and to talk about her feelings. 
Maybe he’d be the one to help her with that. She hoped he would be. 
For the rest of the day she had a wide smile on her face, as she folded and sorted the clothes, vacuumed the floors, swept up any broken glass,took the trash out, washed the dishes, and made dinner for herself while putting everything else away in the fridge sorted into two foil wrapped plates-she had the same smile on her face. Even as she showered she was giddy, singing a tune the entire time.
She’d even opted to listen to Dolly Parton’s Jolene album-granted she’d never been big on country music but she had a soft spot for the Blonde. 
What she didn’t know was that as she cleaned her and her sister’s shared room and made both beds over again with the music playing loudly through her stereo, her singing was even louder-and as Eddie parked the van after coming home from Hellfire he could hear her singing ‘Randy’-only knowing the song because she used to hum it often. He liked to imagine that she thought of him when she sang the song.
In truth, her mind did drift to him and she simply smiled and rolled her eyes while tossing the pillows back onto the beds on opposite sides of the room. She’d been so caught up in singing ‘Jolene’ that she hadn’t heard the front door open-nor did she notice her sister standing in the doorway with a wide smile on her face as she watched Y/n sing and sway her hips and for the first time in a long time-she looked happy.
“Someones in a good mood” she screamed as she turned around, instinctively throwing the book in her hand at her sister-who easily dodged it. “Don’t scare me like that!” Mia laughed, nodding her head as she walked in and turned the music down “Dolly? You haven’t listened to Dolly in forever-oh my god” her eyes widened and she jumped in excitement “did he ask you?!” she blinked a few times, taking a step back from her younger sister.
“Did who ask me?” Mia smiled “Munson! Did he finally grow a pair and ask you out!” she scoffed “did you really put him up to this?” it was evident how easily her mood changed, of course he only did it because her sister put him up to it. “Woah! Woah relax! I just told him to go for it because he’s clearly into you!” she scoffed, rolling her eyes, then she shoved past Mia, the usual attitude and anger surfacing again as she took off her slippers, opting to slide into her vans again then rush out of their home and towards the Munson residence.
She banged her fist against the front door several times, and as Eddie answered it he could practically see the heat leaving her ears-and he knew the fact that Chrissy Cunningham was over because she’d been buying weed from him for the past few months would be an issue. But Y/n didn’t know that the blonde was just another one of his customers-so the second she noticed the blonde she scoffed. 
“Are you fucking kidding me? You fucking asshole!” his eyes widened as he tried to calm her down “woah! Woah-relax sweetheart-Jesus Christ come inside before someone thinks you’re gonna kick my ass next” she scoffed as he grasped her hand and pulled her inside, then he shut the door behind her. He took a second to give her a once over, noticing the baggy Up In Smoke t-shirt she wore alongside either no pants or the shortest shorts in existence-most likely the latter. 
“Uh Curly this is Chrissy-Chrissy this is Curly-” she scoffed “It’s Y/n.” Chrissy nodded her head, a sweet smile on her face “yeah, I know who you are! You totally kicked Derek’s ass last year-he so deserved that, you’re kind of a Hawkins legend” she blinked a few times, and she knew that the girl was being genuine, which only made it harder for her to be upset. She honestly wanted to cry, a smidge of heartbreak sneaking through her.
“Oh uh-thanks?” Chrissy laughed, the same smile on her face “of course! I didn’t know you and Eddie were together? You must be the girl he’s been telling me about for months!” she glanced at Eddie who’s eyes were wide and the familiar red flush overtook his features “we’re not-we’re not together” he mumbled it as he ran a hand over his face and she looked surprised “oh! Shit my bad! Uhm don’t worry Eddie’s said a lot of good stuff about you!” 
“We’re not-me and him aren’t doing anything if that’s what you thought! He’s just my dealer! We’re friends! Promise! I have a boyfriend too” she slowly nodded her head at Chrissy’s panicked demeanor. Eddie groaned, quickly rushing over to the kitchen counter where he had Chrissy’s weed ready then he handed it to her, taking the twenty dollar bill from her hand. 
“I’m gonna go, uh it was nice meeting you Y/n! Once again-totally not doing anything with him-he talks about you all the time! We’re uh friends-platonic friends!” she slowly nodded, watching as Chrissy rushed past her then she went outside, the sound of a car starting signaled that the blonde was leaving.
“Can you please explain to me why you rushed over here ready to go to war?!” she scoffed “did you only ask me out because my sister told you to” he looked taken aback as he rapidly shook his head “no-I mean she gave me the push I needed but no-I’ve been into you forever you’re just-you’re you and you’re amazing”
She rolled her eyes “you’re full of shit Munson” he craned his neck slightly “are you kidding me! This is the shit we talked about earlier! You always put up walls and you bottle everything up because you’re so afraid of letting someone in! I could sit here and tell you that I’m in love with you and you’d tell me to fuck off!”
She shrugged “because you’re a fucking liar” he shook his head “I’m not a liar, you’re just too afraid of your own feelings to have any ounce of trust in anyone else!” she scoffed, stepping towards him, a cynical smile on her face as she stared at him “yeah I’m just supposed to wanna jump into your fucking arms and trust every single word you’ve said to me right? As if you didn’t have Chrissy Cunningham in here less than five minutes ago!” 
“Because I’m a dealer, you know this, everyone knows this! People want weed, I sell them weed! It’s simple” she scoffed, nodding her head, running her tongue along her top row of teeth “yeah so fuckin simple huh? I’m just supposed to believe that pretty girls from rich families like Chrissy Cunningham smoke weed? Yeah-great fucking story there.” he shook his head, letting out a deep breath.
“Y/n it’s 1986-everyone smokes weed! It’s weed!” she rolled her eyes again “you’re so full of shit Munson. You just fucking play the part so fucking well huh?” he raised a brow “what fucking part?!” she shook her head, feeling her eyes water “fuck you” he stared at her, noticing the way her eyes glossed over as she stared at him “you think you’re so unloveable and you push everyone away because you’re scared of getting hurt. You hate the idea of people hurting you so you don’t let them even like you.”
As he spoke she stared at him, ignoring the singular tear that slid down her face “You’ve been taking care of everyone else for years and haven’t given a shit about yourself. You’re so used to neglecting yourself that you don’t even see it when people want to be there for you, and when people wanna take care of you!” she rolled her eyes “yeah cause you clearly wanna take care of me huh?” her sardonic tone had him clenching his jaw.
Eddie Munson rarely got angry, sure he had a lot of reasons to be angry in life, ranging from his absent parents, the Munson family name, being labeled as a freak, being looked down upon, to being considered ‘trailer trash’ since the ripe age of ten. But he didn’t care, he hated being angry, he’d promised himself that he’d let the anger go after his dad stopped calling, after he’d been left in the dust and picked up by Wayne. 
For the first time in a long time, he was getting angry. She was pissing him off because she couldn’t see herself the way he saw her-because she was so insecure without even realizing it that she couldn’t accept that Chrissy Cunningham was just a friend and a customer.
“Is it so wrong to say I do? That I do wanna take care of you-that I’ve wanted to take care of you for years! That maybe every now and then I wanna give you a hug without you fighting it-or that I wanna hold your hand and take you on long drives, or just be there for you on a regular basis and not whenever your facade falls apart and crashes to shit!” 
She took a step back, he’d never yelled at her before-to be fair he wasn’t even yelling his voice was slightly louder than usual but it still felt different. She hadn’t been spoken to like this in years, sure she had people yell at her-but they weren’t people who mattered. Eddie shattered her entire reserve, her tears now slipping down her cheeks faster-but she tried to hold her composure-still staring at him.
“Jesus Y/n I’m sorry-I didn’t mean to get loud but you just-you’re so frustrating.” she shook her head, tears still flowing “yeah? Guess I am huh?” she was shutting him out, and it was as if he could see her walls building back up. “Curly, I care about you in a way i’ve never cared about anyone else-I want you to be happy, I want to make you happy, I want you to see yourself the way I see you because you’re so fucking beautiful inside and out but you refuse to see yourself that way”
She shook her head “because all I’m ever gonna be is trailer park pretty. I’m gonna end up like my mom with shitty boyfriends back to back to back, living in a run down trailer park having men offer me stupid shitty things just for a chance to sleep with me. You said life gets better for people like me-but it doesn’t. I’m stuck-and if I drag anyone else down with me-I just-I dunno” she sniffled as she spoke, and it took everything in him to not start crying.
He took a few steps forward, then placed a gentle hand along her cheek “none of that is true Curly. None of it-not for a single second”  the two held eye contact for a few seconds before he leaned in and connected their lips. The kiss was so soft as he poured his heart into it, he wanted her to know he cared and that he was in it for the long run-as friends or as more. 
It wasn’t long before she was kissing him back, one hand gripping the edge of his denim vest, the other on his jaw, pulling him closer as their lips melted together, perfectly molding against one another, then she slid her tongue along his bottom lip and he was spreading them. Her tongue swiping against his as she kissed him, the motion made him groan, but he kept up with her-taking control of the kiss as he sucked on her tongue-then slid his against hers.
Once they pulled apart for air he slid his thumbs along her cheeks-wiping away her tears. “You’re worth so much more than you think” his words were so loving and tender-she didn’t even know how to react. No one had ever spoken to her like that, sure she had her few friends but this was different. 
“For the last time, I didn’t ask you out because your sister put me up to it, I asked you out because you deserve to be wined and dined and taken care of. You deserve to be loved” she nodded her head, sniffling again “I’m sorry” he shushed her “don’t apologize to me, I know how it is, I know that it’s gonna take time for you to see yourself the way I see you” 
“But what if that doesn’t happen Eddie?” he laughed, rolling his eyes while placing a kiss on her temple “it will, i’m gonna make sure of it-if it’s the last thing I do, now do you wanna stay the night here? Or you wanna go back home?” she raised a brow “are you trying to get into my pants?” he laughed at that, shaking his head.
“No but I think you’d benefit from being held a little longer” she rolled her eyes “are you saying I’m touch starved?” he nodded his head “yeah basically” she scoffed, shoving him back, but instead of making a beeline to her door, she went to his room and flipped him off in the process. Once she was inside she kicked off her shoes, tucking her socks into them as well before going through the things on his dresser-looking for a hair tie. 
“Top drawer princess” she rolled her eyes at the pet name, opening the drawer and spotting the practically unused pack of hair ties, then she spotted something else, the light reflecting off of the shiny paper. She grabbed it, her jaw dropping as she stared at the most explicit magazine she’d ever seen-immediately screaming and shoving it back in the dresser. His eyes widened as he noticed what she grabbed-then he had to hold back a laugh as she slammed the dresser shut.
“Jesus Christ Munson! Keep your porn in one place!” He shrugged “I told you where the hair ties were-I didn’t tell you to snoop. Curiosity killed the cat” she rolled her eyes “but satisfaction brought it back” what she hadn’t realized is that he’d moved from his doorway to behind her, his hands now resting on her hips as he leaned closer to her “are you satisfied?” his voice was lower than usual but then he cracked the act and laughed, letting go of her hips. 
She shoved him back as she made her way to the bathroom, now taking time to braid her hair. Meanwhile he shrugged off his jacket, then his shirt and his shoes-leaving his jeans unbuttoned because he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable-he’d wait until they were actually going to sleep to take them off.
She hadn’t expected him to follow her in, but he stood behind her, admiring her work through their shared reflection. “How do you do that?” she furrowed her brows, glancing at him “braid my hair?” he nodded his head “I can’t really explain it well, but I dunno, just watch my fingers” he scooted closer to her, now standing slightly to her right as she braided the other half of her hair back, grasping each section by section until she was finished.
“I’m gonna learn how to do that” she raised a brow “really? You wanna braid my hair Munson?” he nodded “I’ll do anything you want me to do sweetheart-but yeah I do” she laughed, rolling her eyes. “It’s harder than it looks y’know” he raised a brow “and you’re softer than you look-your point is?” she scoffed, but didn’t say anything. The sound of knocking caught them both off guard, he left the bathroom to go answer the door.
Mia stood outside, holding a satin scarf in her hand. Her eyes practically popped out of her head at the sight of Eddie “jesus christ you two hornballs! Here this is for her hair-figure: she wasn’t coming home tonight. I didn’t think she’d already jumped your bones” his jaw dropped as he shook his head. “It’s not what it looks like-jesus christ-uh” she shook her head “you don’t have to lie to me Munson, but at least make sure her hair is wrapped.” she shoved the scarf in his direction and as he took it she cleared her throat.
“And uh-can you do me a personal favor?” he raised a brow “I don’t sell weed to freshmen” she scoffed, rolling her eyes “that’s not it, can you ask Henderson what he thinks of me?” he smirked “so baby y/l/n likes Henderson hmm? It’s your lucky day-he’s into you, talks about how pretty you are all the time. Just ask him out, you two nerds can watch star wars together” her jaw dropped “how’d you know!” he raised a brow “your sister talks, and I just happened to listen, now go home-it’s late” she rolled her eyes and turned-walking off. Eddie stood outside, making sure she made it back inside before he closed and locked the door.
He expected her to still be in the bathroom, however she was in his room, flipping through one of his copies of Heavy Metal while she sat in his bed, her legs extended in front of her as she tilted her head slightly, eyes wandering across the page-she was clearly reading something.
“Are you serious right now?” she glanced up at him “shush the interesting parts coming up! I need to see if they fuck it out-this shit’s actually interesting once you get past the alien porn” he blinked a few times “Curly please put that away” she shook her head, gaze still focused on the pages-he watched the way her eyes widened as she flipped the page “Oh my god-Jesus Christ!” she dropped the magazine for a second-and he noticed the exact panel she was on.
“Uh yeah-tentacles are kinda some peoples thing” she slowly nodded “i can tell” she looked slightly disgusted as she picked the magazine back up, grimacing as she read through that page, then she let out a sigh of relief. “You’re seriously gonna keep reading it?” 
“Yeah, is that a problem? Did you wanna take it and go jerk off or something? Use the other porn you have stashed everywhere, i’m reading” her sarcastic tone was unmistakable as her gaze didn’t shift from the magazine in front of her. 
He raised a brow “really? You’re reading?” she nodded her head, turning the page again-eyes widening at the next graphic scene-more specifically the clear knock off of Princess Leia’s slave outfit falling off of a woman’s body “you would get off to shit like this, you pervy nerd” he bit his bottom lip, slipping into the bed next to her, peaking over at what she was looking at-his cheeks immediately reddened at the sight, and he couldn’t help the way that his cock stirred.
He then blinked a few times, handing her the scarf. “Mia brought it over-she uh thinks we uh y’know” she raised a brow, taking the scarf and handing him the magazine in return. Then she folded it into a triangular shape, angling her head down as she tied it around once-then again atop her head. “Of course she does” he bit his bottom lip, nodding his head. Then she moved, laying down and looking up at him, raising a brow “lay down Munson” he blinked a few times before nodding his head-except he glanced down at his pants.
“You can take them off if that’s how you sleep” she turned away from him, and the sound of shifting alongside his pants hitting the ground made her giggle, then he turned off the light before she felt the bed dip beside her.
He carefully wrapped his arm around her waist, slightly pulling her against him as he spooned her, however she shoved his arm off, turning around again and resting her head against his chest, one of her legs resting against his-her thigh right on his waist and the warmth from her skin made him dizzy. She traced small patterns into his chest with her fingers.
“Thank you” he clicked his tongue “stop thanking me” she glanced up at him, and he met her stare “I can’t help it” he raised a brow “yes you can, stop thanking me for caring about the girl I love” she blinked a few times, somewhat shocked at his confession “you don’t gotta feel the same way-but just know as long as I love you I’m not giving up on you” 
“I-I think I love you too” he smiled at that “you think so?” she giggled, rolling her eyes before nodding her head. “Yea I think so you dweeb.”
-
taglist: @anxietyandtacos​ @walkietalkiesteve​ @r0s3mm​ @babeyglo​ @darylssluttt​ @k-k0129​ @postresdevainilla @val-writesstuff​ @sexytholland​ @eudximoniakr​ @extratragic​ @chloepricerk800​ @tesslahey​ @freeshavocadoooo​ @gloryekaterina​ @mayvinnie @mayyvh​ @touchdeprivedwh0re​ @lostinwonderland314​ @oneeggontoast​ @br3ak1ngmyh3artbaby​ @chxosunbound​ @thatswacklol @urmomashleyyy​ @nennuit​ @melsreads​ @seaveysinn​ @makeadealwithdean​ @harringtonsbtch​
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yesloulou · 7 months
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i cannot stop thinking about your gorgeous art for so close, we combust! i'm wondering if you can give us a little director's cut about it? like how you chose the images, anything that you want to share? it makes me want to launch myself into space and eat the moon like cheese.
em im so honored by this ask and i too want to eat the moon like cheese bc it sounds like a very fun activity ❤️‍🔥
soo basically the first pic was my inspo bc it was just so so SCWC (so close, we combust by @officialmood) coded. it had an imbalance to it. for starters we can only see max looking like he was about to explode from fondness while daniel had his back turned and we can't see his face. and like. everything was straightforward for max. the genuine affection for daniel came so easily to him. it was so transparent. but since they were hugging daniel had no idea max's face looked like that when he hugged him. and based on what we know about cool cocky nonchalant RB daniel, one is likely to assume daniel wasn't equally affected by it – and i think they would be right. that hug was at daniel's last race with red bull. there were walls of ppl lining up to congratulate him and send him off. and max was at the end of this line. by the time daniel got to him the impact of it would've been softened by all those that came before. it was like. daniel was saying goodbye to the whole team in one sitting and max was only saying goodbye to daniel. all the imbalances here really remind me of the first part SCWC, where daniel was aware of everything, yet more or less took it for granted, so used to being on the receiving end of max's attention and affection. SCWC daniel "didn’t know at the time that this would be the kind of memory he would turn over and over, trying to cut himself against the sharp part", canon daniel likely also underestimated how rare and precious it was to have the whole team (and max) adore and support him like that.
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and it was all about to change. the hug (2nd gif) after AD 21 was a whole other dynamic. it was a much more reserved hug. there were so much complicated emotions that went into it: before daniel went up to max in parc ferme, he had just witnessed max overtake lewis during the final laps of the most dramatic recent f1 season to take his first world title. and since daniel had been lapped by both max and lewis, he literally had to watch it all unfold right in front of him, first hand. and now max, his old teammate, the reason he had to leave his team, the one he on some level saw as a younger sibling, the one ppl said he ran away from, was a world champion before him when that exact wdc dream had slipped further and further away from daniel, who in fact had just had the most bizarre season in his whole f1 career.
it was just a lot of complicated emotions for daniel at that point. i think it must've taken effort for him to feel happy for max at all, let along going up to him and congratulating him right then and there. but daniel did it anyway. and it was a painfully hasty hug imo esp compared to how it went with lando and carlos. it was even a lil awkward bc you can tell max had both of his arms up but daniel didn't plan on going in with a full hug. but still, he wanted to congratulate max and he did.
it wasn't a fun moment to recall as a daniel girlie but it also has such a nice echo with the second part of SCWC. they were hugging/hanging out like all those times they hugged/hung out before. but everything had changed. max looked like a whole different person now (both in scwc and irl in the gif set), and he became comfortable being in control. and for daniel, this time he was the one with all those emotions going into it. neither scwc pt. 2 daniel (in max's apartment) or 2021 canon daniel (in parc ferme) was all that comfortable, but they were both there anyway, looking for a shred of reality that vaguely resembles what he and max used to be, holding on to the hope that a part of them survived despite everything.
anyways, basically as soon as i had the first pic as inspo i decided that i wanted the second pic to also be one of their hugs but with a completely different dynamic, just like in pt1 and pt2 of scwc they were doing the same things (hanging out) completely differently. and then i just thought of that second hug. and with hugging being the subject there is also the sense of like, the closer they came, the more the reality sank in, that max had won before him, that all their conflicts had come to a boiling point, that the deal had been sealed. it's just like what the title says, came so close we combust.
idk if im making sense with everything here but hopefully this has been a fun read :) ty for this ask em and again ty liza for blessing us with SCWC!!!
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kleinv01 · 5 months
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Hi there! I just wanted to say that I love your art! It's so soft looking and pretty, the boys really look like handsome :] Also I love your attention to detail, the "code" elements are really well used. I just wanted to say that as a yandere vn developer as well, I understand your fear of making Klein "Too yandere" because people wouldn't like him. Sometimes people have a perception of the character you made that is different to what you envisioned. Trust me I know how it feels and I'd say that you should focus on your vision and what you want to do for the game. You have a great idea! If you want to focus on the horror aspect, go for it, If you want to make Klein a little too extreme, go for it. It's your game, and even if it's hard not to get influenced by peoples ideas (sometimes I too soften up my characters accidentally because I get easily influenced) your shouldn't lose your intended goal and what you want to do, It's your game, and you'll do great, It's important to make a game you enjoy writing and making. :] Sorry for the long text! Have a great day and take care <3
://SYSTEM_MESSAGE_ANSWERED
oh my gogdhh yuo don't know how much this means to me T _ T i am actually still mulling over this thing eversince i ranted LOL
from the moment i designed klein, i always think 'he is a yandere that is not really meant to be liked because he's kinda a lil too insane...' but unfortunately, it's really hard to not get influenced as more people start to discover the game and interact w the characters etc....
this was rly a lovely message to read , i really appreciate it !! i feel a bit better knowing im not the only one that struggles with this </3 maybe as we write more stories for more ppl to read we'll get used to it.//? i love your art too and ur ocs thyre so gorgeous looking/// good luck w your own game development too !!! excited for it >w<
if you're reading this you are obligated to check out @codemiracle's page btw
have a lovely day/night and take care too <33
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loserdiaz · 11 months
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temptation tuesday! 🪐
i have a few ideas going brrrr in my brain and so im dumping them all here!!!
sooo that time capsule/hs au fic where it's almost the end of the summer?? and buck and eddie are about to start college. they used to be beat friends but kinda grew apart when hs began, but they buried this time capsule on buck's backyard when they were ten to open on buck's 18th bday. he does it alone and find that one of the notes/wishes for the future eddie left there was 'i wish evan was in love with me' and idk buck is shocked but he goes to eddie and things happen???
i had a weird kinda sad dream where like, imagine s5 eddie breakdown era and you know how he tries to call some of the soldiers he saved when the helicopter went down??? and they're all dead??? turns out buck was one of them and he's not dead. eddie calls him and he answers and they're both in a really dark place and yeah idk. (blame @monsterrae1 for this one)
bakery owner buck! who makes cookies for dogs and takes them to rescue vet clinics and stuff and vet eddie! (idk what im gonna do with this but also blame @monsterrae1 )
buck and eddie meet in peru. buck is a bartender and eddie is just on a vacation with his cousins before college?? idk. they have a party on the beach and it's late and there's a bonfire, buck takes his guitar and sings some songs and it's all very summer-y love fling vibes. they have sex on the beach?? idk
fake/pretend relationship between musician/famous buck and bodyguard eddie bc why not. he needs some good press??? and hia fans have been shipping him with eddie since he started working as a bodyguard for him so his pr team is like you're dating him!!! and there's a stalker somewhere in this fic too if i ever write it idk. lots of angst and drama ig.
buck and eddie recently started dating when eddie has to go to texas??? chris and buck stay in L.A, chris gets appendicitis and it geta really bad and he has to be rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery??? buck is freaking out and he thinks eddie will break up with him bc he had to take care of chris!!!! and he failed!!!! and the kid almost dies!!!! (eddie turns out is just thankful buck was there and buck comes to the realization oh, they really are family and he is chris' second dad idk)
figure skater buck! and hockey player eddie! (maybe buck recently lost his figure skater partner and he's never skated solo and eddie's team is missing a guy so buck is like, i could try out hockey?? why not??? i would love to be part of a team!! and eddie is so annoyed and whatever idk i haven't thought it through)
soulmates au where you realize who's your soulmate when you die. (buck dies and eddie brings him back with cpr)
tagging some ppl (no pressure): @monsterrae1 @cowboy-buddie @buddierights @alyxmastershipper @thespermdonorstorylineisstupid @honestlydarkprincess @911onabc @buck-coded @the-likesofus @bigfootsmom @spotsandsocks @elvensorceress @dorkydiaz @maygrantgf @dollhousejee @prettyboybuckley @rogerzsteven @hippolotamus @shortsighted-owl @messyhairdiaz @scarcrossedbuck @comaboybuck @loveyourownsmiilee @lovebuck and anyone else who wants to do it!
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jacenotjason · 7 months
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Can we just get some rambles about your AU, like nothing specific, just like little details you haven’t had the ask or idea to express artistically? I just love any little details about this AU (Howdy’s little finger beans)
AAAAA oh my god YES here’s some rambles from the depth that is this AU! Random factoids and snippets and hehehheheh
(Oh hey and checkout the AU itself!)
Hiding this under a ‘readmore’ becasue FUCK I WENT ON A RANT HAUIDA- i tried to stop i swear
OPEN THE FLOOD GATES!!
I HAVE PLAYLISTS FOR ALL THE CHARACTERS!! Ive been thinking about how to share them for awhile bc I LOVE these playlists and they help my brain rot on this AU but mm! Just wanted to get that out there im holding onto these
Something people didn’t catch was that in this animation, which is supposed to take place around the time Eddie moved into the neighborhood, he had his mail hat! But, currently, he doesn’t! That’s not because he lost it, Howdy actually stole it! Howdy immediately attempted to scam Eddie when he first arrived, stealing his hat and trying to sell it back to him, but he did not know that Eddie would not give a fuck. Howdy thought Eddie cared way more about his job then he actually does. So, Eddie’s hat is still currently decaying under Howdy’s desk.
All the characters have trauma or something depressing about them… except Julie! I’m not sure why but I just.. never came up with something reasonable for her backstory. I came up with a lot of ideas, but a lot of them seemed to cliche and controversial? Like, one of my ideas was some sort of sex working trauma, but I thought oooh of course you gave the most feminine character the sex working backstory! Another idea was eating disorder trauma, but again, ooh i gave the fem one the ED! The same thing happened with SA trauma, it all just felt so… cliche. And I felt like I would get a lot of backlash if I tried to implement this. So.. im still working on it!
^ originally Franks backstory was going to be completely SA related, but I changed that. Still not spoiling how, though.
^^ also I really liked the sex working idea! Because I think it would be interesting if thats how Eddie and her met. Not that Eddie bought sex from her, but that they like worked together and slowly became friends! Eddie kept her safe n stuff, beat the shit out of ppl that didnt pay yknow? Explored a deeper level of understanding between them
Ive been daydreaming about attempting to make my own little bootleg “play fellow exhibition” not nearly to the extent that Clown did, but just some sort of fake “restored” things! Maybe even fake interviews with those that remember the show! Ive even recorded some lines, of my own voice, of fake voice clips restored from the show. I haven’t had the confidence to post any of them just yet aa. I think my Eddie impression is IMPECCABLE though. Maybe bc I have a southern accent
^ also if this isnt obvious this AU is still a show being restored by a team, the show is just the adult parody ive created here. Ill be sure to specify if i ever post something restoration-lore-related!
The number of fingers they have is inconsistent, and that is not lore related! I am just an idiot! You might notice that sometimes they have 5, sometimes they have 4. I.. have no actual reason for this. I literally just.. forget! Im literally currently drawing a piece with Julie and Sally where they both have 5 fingers. Why?? Bc the reference I used was of two human girls so!! Just wanted to put it out there, that is not on purpose
I hide a lot of secrets in my art. Bc its fun. If you ever see something in my art thats a little too dark, feel free to up the brightness and see what you find. Does something sort of look like Morse code? Feel free to try it out! I’ll give you a hint, I have used both of these techniques to hide secrets in my art already. The Morse code one is really hard to find, though, so props to you if you find it!
I like to think that the AU’s show is like Rick and Morty. It started out this comedic, very clearly adult-humored show, but slowly the characters had lore! People started watching not for the humor but for the interesting characters. Like when Rick was revealed to have a depressing story with his wife and all that, it was the same as when ppl first found out about Frank’s strange amnesia and PTSD. Like “?? Who put lore in my funny adult comedy??” Yknow what i mean
^ i like to think there was some mind-bending moment where it was revealed Frank doesnt remember anything about his childhood and everyone watching was like :O
Originally in the show, (like season one), the characters were the way they are to make fun of those things. Confusing, but what i mean is that Poppy was a trans woman to make fun of trans people, Eddie and Frank were to make jokes about gay ppl, etc. but SIKE once the show got more seasons and got lift off they became actual characters instead of just jokes! The creators just wanted to make ppl love the show before they made the gay characters actually have personalities, so they couldn’t get cancelled prematurely! HA SUCKERS!!
FFUck okay i think i got it all out of me?? Idk feel free to ask again in like a month maybe more shit will have accumulated in my brain
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alterouslyinlove · 3 months
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I’ve recently been strongly resonating with alterous attraction, for several reasons.
Basically yes I had several “romantic” relationships in high school, but I honestly have no idea if they were actually romantic. When you’re a little kid in elementary school and your best friend is a different gender, people assume you like them and you have a crush on them, so you assume that’s what you’re feeling. As a kid in kindergarten in my case when I had my first “crush”. By the time you get to high school, everyone knows that there are certain things which means you are in love with someone, and being in love has to mean romantic feelings right? Bc that’s the only type of in love? Right?? Being in love equals romantic attraction right?? Of course! No not really, but that’s high school.
So anyways, there were people I got excited to be with, that I loved talking to, that I smiled around constantly, and yeah I dated someone that all of those things happened to me, and we cuddled and kissed and for all appearances, had a romantic relationship. But… was it?? Or was it me assuming that getting excited and butterflies around someone, getting spacey eyed around someone, and enjoying cute gooey lovey stuff automatically meant romance? Butterflies happen when I’m nervous too. I get spacey eyed when I’m daydreaming about fanfics. And I liked gooey lovey stuff with my platonic qpp too where there was no romantic feelings. Was I just assuming that the feelings I had at that time were romance bc that was the pressure I felt from society and from my partner?
Looking back on it, I can’t say for sure that it was romantic attraction or if I just assumed it was and believed it was.
What makes it more confusing is that I like certain romantic aspects, and with my partner now, I love the things that would be “romantic coded” and I am definitely in love with her, but I can’t say for sure that it’s romantic. I found this explanation for alterous attraction, and it’s so relatable. “I want to be with you and talk to you and do everything with you, I just don’t care how it looks for us or how we categorize our relationship.” I’m happy to let my gf take the lead in how romantic or not our relationship appears bc it doesn’t matter to me.
I’ve settled on this term for my attraction towards my girlfriend: romance-inclined alterous. I’m in love with her, and I enjoy doing romantic type things with her, but I might not always feel that romantic attraction towards her. I’m inclined to like romantic things with her and I might sometimes feel romantic attraction towards her, but I won’t all the time.
Kinda turned into a ramble, but what do you think about terms like romance-inclined alterous?
that’s a good way of explaining it!! im sure there are a ton of other ppl that feel that way too, i think that’s a good term. but yeah thanks for sharing :)
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visionthefox · 13 days
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Im feeling silly , I was looking over my logs of texts I often write to myself, an idea of what ever I want to do in the future And I found a horror idea based on a dream I had- I still somewhat remember it- I have a fear of getting lost and trapped - because I did get lost some few times in my life~ but for some reason my dream changed to "Im running" to "watch as someone else needs to survive" and I guess was to not get too scared? anyways, all I know I was in a abandoment plex, or shopping mall, I was in the play area MIND YOU this was before FNAF RUIN was even a thing! but I used to watch ppl explore abandoment places at night- soo ok, based on this dream of being lost, and running from something, I created an AU I never once shared to anyone sooo feeling silly! I want to let it out~ in resume! actually short one What if Fazbear got tired of weird stuff happening in the daycare, robots coming in and out, missing tech- a fucking death star? and their animatronics getting too comfortable walking away.. so much so is getting the brand in trouble so one night- FazCo just - reset both Sun and Moon, one night they sleep in the room they have, some humans walk in, since they work there Computer can not harm them, Computer tried to wake Moon but failed the next day, both brothers forgor everything and everyone, but something is off, Sun is not nervious nor shy, far from it, he seems to take a leadship, be harsh, sassy and somewhat mean-Moon in the other hand? he is calm, silent, cold only to human and robots, not kids, he is obedient to Sun only, and will be mean to everyone else. idk what exactly happened, but the plex grew darker, as maybe the aura of the change made everyone freak out, since Moon was literally paying FazCo to let him do anything, yet the company reset him as nothing.. soon chaos happend, and Eclipse , who mind you now has a body of his own -and I have no idea on what arc this happened, I just know he still hated everyone and didnt died- tried to walk in the daycare, only to Find Moon staring at him at the top on the play structure, Eclipse tease Moon but soon see something is not ok. Moon let him walk in, and worst, he just stared at him like a cat set on a prey, is only when Sun walked out from the ball pit he stared at Eclispe , and in a cheerfull yet cold tone said "oh, you are not part of FazCo line.. you are a bootleg? sorry~ we dont allow bootlegs in here! you need to leave!" and before Eclipse can say shit, Moon chease him away, Eclipse doesnt know why- but he ran away, maybe because Moon seems to be in his "kill code mode" but he just runs NOW this is the meat of the AU, Eclipse is forced to survive not getting seen by anyone, not even gregrory because he soon realized, every door is locked with new code only the rest on the glamrooks know, he tried to find the code, but just can not.. this is all I got, in my notes I had that Sun tried to reset Eclipse too thinking he just "needed some repains too" but I think Sun wanting Eclipse gone is more scary~ so yea, idk what to do with this so Im letting this out here- I may flesh out this idea? but I dont think I may actually draw it I just knew I wanted some horror related AU with sams at the time I wrote my dream down, I wanted true horror an scene I rememebr is Eclipse running inside one of the tubes, is all dark, only his eyes glow, and he is freaking out, Moon is cheasing him like a actual robot, no much of his personality showing - Eclipse clips up to the play structure, and finds a way out, not before he hears Sun teasing "please come out! we will make you better! you need to follwo FazCo rules~"
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primaviva · 9 months
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y’all i really wanna do something for my first milestone because we alr almost at 100 followers and i have like no idea on what to do 😞😭
im thinking of 1) doing like either those number prompts thing where someone requests a number and a character better be gwen 😒😒 2) those like album fic things 3) i wanna start like a series and maybe like a black cat reader x gwen because i love that concept and ppl been begging me for angst so i just wanna do like a short series like nothing 20 chapters but just a black cat x reader on some miraculous ladybug type shit love square with gwen x reader friends to lovers and one sided enemies to “friends” with they alter egos like i got such a good idea for it and it’s so melanie walker x terry batman beyond coded LIKE ITS CALLING MY NAME
if you have any other ideas PLEAUSW LEMME KNOW
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arlathvhenan · 7 months
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hey, just wanted to thank you for your and kaija-rayne-author's post about Solas being ND. I only got super deeply into him very recently and it's been fun but also... incredibly distressing and disheartening, and i couldn't quite put my finger on why. im usually fine with ppl disliking characters i like, but so many of the opinions on him were very two dimensional and simplistic or outright hostile. just... yeah. i appreciate you typing all that out. it rly helped clarify part of why i gravitate towards him so much and part of why it's been so upsetting to see how he gets treated by some of the fandom.
You’re welcome, and I get it. I’m not normally this defensive when it comes to fictional characters. I’m so used to the fandoms treating my favorites better than the actual writers that this situation is downright unprecedented XD
NDs have to stick together and stand up for each other because clearly no one else will.
Yes, Solas is ultimately just a fictional character. He’s an idea, but how people respond to certain ideas, even in fiction, says a lot about them and what they believe. It’s generally never a one to one. Things like tone, context, and framing matter. For example I’m not going to try and argue that anybody who really loves Dennis Reynolds from Always Sunny is somehow a bad person for finding such an awful person entertaining.
That said, there’s a big difference between finding a character entertaining and actually relating to them on an emotional level. And connecting with a character emotionally is not only one of the most rewarding aspects of fiction, it’s also a huge component of what makes for good representation.
Wether or not Weekes intended to write Solas as neurodivergent is ultimately irrelevant. Authorial intent can only go so far. At the end of the day what matters is what the actual text tells us and how the audience responds to it.
The fact that many neurodivergent fans of Dragon Age identify so strongly with him is all it really takes for him to be a neurodivergent coded character. And as we’ve established over and over, neurodivergent people have a pretty difficult time finding good representation.
I really shouldn’t need to explain why representation matters in goddamn 2023, and I honestly don’t have the energy to right now. What I will say is I sure hope we don’t need to re-explain that shit because I thought it was pretty common knowledge by now but I digress…
As I said earlier, it’s never a one to one with fiction, but overall you can gauge a person’s capacity for empathy and emotional intelligence based on their relationships with fiction. And the way people talk in this fandom sometimes…it’s honestly pretty alarming just how little emotional intelligence factors in to the way people formulate their opinions. It makes you wonder just how much of their attitude towards a fictional character with neurodivergency translates to the way they see and treat actual people.
I’m not saying disliking Solas as a character automatically means you must hate neurodivergent people, but a lot if the arguments I see people use to defend their position are either:
1) Factually inaccurate or otherwise misrepresent/misinterpret the facts
Or
2) Sound like a lot if the same shit people have said to or about me because they don’t know how to properly deal with or respond to neurodivergent people.
That first one is just frustrating, but the second one hurts. And the idea that flagrantly offending an entire group of people with no remorse simply because you can’t empathize with them is considered acceptable? That really sucks. It just sucks to think about.
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