#i have so much energy bc of drinking starbucks so late bc we got it a little before nine and i didnt

[veloursnoirsarchive]

Okay i am motivated so mutuals can like this for a mini random starter because i wanna get some threads going.

#cracks knuckles #i have so much energy bc of drinking starbucks so late bc we got it a little before nine and i didnt #get to drink it til 10 bc we went to walmart after that so here i am wide awake and i hung out with my sister til she went to bed #but yeah i brought my laptop with me so i had stuff to do #im pretty ready to be active on here again #ooc

[moral-turpitudes]

College Headcanons: Modern!Peaky Blinders Edition

Part 1 | Part 2

A/N: This came to me in a dream. Enjoy. 

Thomas Shelby:

Double Major: Political Science and Business Management (bc he likes to work himself to death) Minor: Military Sciences/ROTC

Likes debating and trying to outsmart the professor.

Often seen on campus with bloody knuckles from rocking someone’s jaw.

Would 100% punch a motherfucker for being mean to someone he cares about.

Doesn’t need to be in a fraternity to be known around campus, just don’t mess with him and you’ll be fine.

All the girls whisper as he walks by but he don’t give a fuck cuz he has to go to his lectures.

He’s on time for every class and pulls out his pocket watch if the professor is more than 5 minutes late. If the professor can’t bother showing up then he dips out.

Almost got suspended for one too many fist fights.

Has a “thing” for the barista at the campus Starbucks. He learned after frequent visits, that her name was Grace and that she liked black coffee just like him.

Mysterious and moody af. No one knows if they’ve ever seen him smile, except when chatting up Grace.

Tries his best to study, but ends up getting dragged into his siblings shenanigans or into his head about the family business.

Keeps to himself for the most part, except for having a few close friends.

Hates technology so he uses a typewriter and prefers receiving letters/mail over emails.

Can’t figure out how to use Grace the baristas phone when typing in his number and tells her to write it down instead.

Often tells her to meet him after her shift. 😏

Professors hate him because of his reliance on paper. Totes not eco-friendly but he doesn’t care. Tommy always gets his way.

Grace always gives him a cookie for free cuz she knows he forgets to eat.

Always seen smoking or sneaking drinks of whiskey in a flask, even at 7am lectures.

Binge drinks on weekends with his bros, and drunk calls barista Grace when he has maybe 3 working brain cells left for the night. On other weekends when he’s coherent, he meets with Polly and tries to discuss business plans since their dad dipped out like a bitch.

To make matters worse, after dating for a while, Grace just leaves him. He thinks his aunt Polly may have been too hard on her, but he didn’t know until later that she lied when she said she didn’t know about the business. But barista bitch knew everything, and was gonna expose them to her higher-ups in the criminal justice department before long.

Arthur Shelby:

Major: Agriculture Minor: Military Science/ROTC

Graduated just barely.

Ended up in some trouble with his peeps in the military science department, probs for cussing someone out.

Angry, loud, and emotional af.

Loved drinking with John and his frat boy friends.

No one messed with him if they valued their life.

Started one too many fights and got suspended for reals. Almost beat a man to death but we don’t talk about that.

He gets stressed really easily so in his free time he draws horses.

When he gets real mad he takes it to the campus boxing ring and punches to his hearts content.

On his way back to his dorm one night he saw a girl who was in his agriculture class. She was cute and also in a “Christian” ministry group on campus. He decided to chat her up when she was preaching, just to see what it was about.

They later dated but then she cheated around with a fellow churchy man and just went off the rails. When he found out it wasn’t pretty.

Her friends and pastor most likely shamed her cuz she be ✨sinning✨. Therefore not helping her mental state.

Her name was Linda. Never trust a Linda.

Everyone tried to console Arthur but only boxing and drinking at Johns frat house did the trick.

Tommy often had to run to his dorm in the middle of the night to talk him out his mental breakdowns. College is hard.

In the end, he was glad he did agriculture even if his crazy ex would constantly stare at him during lectures, probably plotting his demise.

Some days he’d take out his frustrations by chopping wood and helping out on the farm where he worked and studied most days.

But you bet your ass fuckin’ Linda showed up to his dorm one time though with a gun and tried to shoot him, but she didn’t know his brothers and aunt were there too. Polly may have shot her in the arm tho. But when the campus PD showed up shit really went down.

We don’t know where Linda is now, but that’s probs for the best.

John Shelby:

Major: Music (idk I felt like he’s a musical boi) Minor: Military Science/ROTC

He’s a frat boy through and through. He drops it low on the dance floor and is known to dive onto beer pong tables.

Constantly going to parties and hooking up with sorority girls, that is until he meets a girl named Esme who’d been dragged to the party by her friends.

Suddenly he ain’t no hoe no more, he’s head over boots in love with her and she loves him too.

They be sneaking around in various buildings, often having to make a run for it to escape security.

He’d play her songs after hard training days with his military buds cuz it helps him calm down.

He’s not as violent as his older brothers, but he’ll fuck a person up if needed.

His fraternity is the second most important thing to him besides his girl. He loves the energy of the fraternity, the partying, and acting a whole fool with his friends, but Esme has him whipped.

His studies are struggling though cuz he loves to get turnt. He hates the studying aspect of college.

Always getting his brothers into trouble.

Snorts coke off Esme’s tits on occasion at the frat parties. It’s a wild time.

Has the mouth of a sailor but a heart of gold.

Talks of kids with Esme after dating for a year. Can’t afford a ring yet tho, but their bud Jeremiah marries them anyway on a whim.

After Arthur and the Grace fiasco ensues, he drops out of college because Esme falls pregnant. In the end, she ends up getting the chickens and wild cottage!core house she’d always wanted. They both decide to raise their kids there, living their best lives until Tommy drags them into more family matters later on.

Ada Shelby:

Major: English Minor: Gender & Women’s Studies

Always seen in the most stylish clothes.

She’s quiet most times but can be very knowledgeable on various subjects.

She’s constantly going off on her older brothers and trying to smack some sense into them.

Feels like something is off with the barista Tommy’s been seeing, but it’s not her problem.

Can 100% find her chilling in the back of Starbucks reading old novels or writing literature reviews.

When she’s not there, she’s holed up in the library where she works part time, studying and practicing for debates.

10/10 would fuck in the library cuz she knows all the best secret places to go to. 😏

Organizes meetings with different campus associations and demands equality for students.

Spends her free time surfing the net for clothes or keeping an eye out for a potential new bae.

Is probably the best at studying. She earns the best grades let’s be honest.

Will not hesitate to call a bitch out. She may not throw hands but she’ll throw words that can cut you like a knife.

Works for the campus paper, spilling all the tea on campus life. Her brothers often reluctantly agree to be her mock interview subjects for a range of assignments.

She breaks necks when walking around campus, everyone moves out of their way for her.

She’s a bad bitch.

Finn Shelby:

Major: Photography Minor: English

He hates how violent his brothers are but would 10/10 back them up if needed.

Often asks Ada for advice on studying and girls.

Doesn’t like the frat boy scene like John, but goes to the parties anyways with his best friends Isiah and Bonnie.

He’s a freshman and you can tell. He still has a glimmer of life in his eyes and a pep in his step as he walks around campus.

When he’s not taking pictures for class, he’s taking pictures of his girlfriend.

She’s his muse even when doing the simplest of things like sitting in a chair or reading one of his English books.

Each week he’d surprise her with a picture he took when she wasn’t looking, telling her how beautiful she is.

He may not look strong, but after many nights at the boxing ring with Arthur, he knew how to throw a punch.

He almost flunked his studies a couple times, getting too caught up in partying or being with his girl, but Ada and his Aunt Polly set him straight.

Voted by his family as most likely to not get arrested or suspended from college.

He’d have deep conversations with his friends, often confusing them because it was just that deep.

In his spare time he’d go boxing with Arthur or would try to help Tommy with his essays, but Tommy would get frustrated and tell him to fuck off within the first 10 minutes.

Polly Gray:

Profession: Business Management Professor Side Job: Managing the blinder business with Tommy

When she’s not teaching class, she’s managing the blinder business that was left to her and Tommy to tackle. This also means covering up any suspicions that arise on campus. She has her hands full.

She’s Tommy’s only shred of common sense some days when he gets too stressed out from his 10,000 majors and minors, or wants to plan to overthrow the university.

Will not hesitate to slap someone, preferably her unruly nephews.

Anyone can lie to her but the truth always falls through the cracks, and when she finds out, you’d pray you faced the devil instead.

In her spare time she reads tea leaves and prays for the corrupt souls of her son and his cousins. She really just begs to god that they can come together for once to get the business in line, but even that may be asking too much.

Knows a snake when she sees one. *cough* *cough* Grace the barista.

She’s the first one to tell someone I told ya so, especially her students when they flunk her tests because they decided to get drunk the night before.

When she’s not yelling at her nephews or grading papers, she can be seen at the local bar chatting up coworkers and old flames, hoping to find “the one” eventually. She ends up having a “thing” for the quirky Philosophy professor though. He’s kind of shady cuz she finds out he’s in a similar business on the side, but it only makes her like him more. She craves the danger.

They later end up in a whirlwind romance similar to John and Esme, and everyone loves that for them.

She can also be seen with her head in her hands when trying to persuade Tommy to use technology.

“What is copy and paste Pol? Can’t I just write it down? What’s up with all these gadgets aye?”

“If you want your hand to fall off and to make me lose my mind, then yes, write it down. Grading is bloody hard enough as it is, let alone grading your papers. You’re just like your father ya know, always doing things the hard way.”

Tells Gina off when she gets the chance just like she did Grace. She didn’t shoot her like Linda though, she just hurt some feelings.

May have aided in Grace’s “sudden” departure…maybe…just a little bit.

Secretly ships Tommy with a woman named Lizzie who had been her assistant at her office. She knew she could trust her more, at least.

Despite her harshness, she’s just trying to keep her family from completely fucking up their lives.

Michael Gray:

Major: Accounting Minor: Business Management

Like Tommy, he doesn’t get the hype of fraternities so he just hangs out with his cousins or his small circle of friends, they aren’t saints though.

His mom, Polly is his business management professor. She always calls on him and gives him a hard time when he spaces out in class.

Is often seen around campus with a few friends or his girlfriend Gina who he met in business class. They’re sickening and it was like a whirlwind romance tbh.

He usually finds himself cleaning up his cousin’s messes when it comes to fighting, but if he has to throw some punches he will.

He’s not as impulsive when it comes to matters of business, but where matters of the heart are concerned that’s another story.

When the blinders and Polly were all at her house for dinner one night he announced he was going to marry Gina. Arthur and John laughed and Tommy smirked slightly, still butt-hurt after his Grace left him for little-to-no reason. Ada grinned and bared the news whilst Polly nearly smacked him on the head.

People didn’t dare mess with him, and that went for all his cousins as well.

He spent a majority of his days in class crunching numbers, and most his nights out with the boys getting drunk or fuckin’ with Gina.

Because his mom held him accountable, his grades rivaled Ada’s causing them to get into some friendly competition at times.

He’s cunning like Tommy though. He got into many a screaming match with the older blinder after trying to take over his position in the family business. It ended in some black eyes and Polly smacking both of them with her newspaper. He knew better than to mess with the devil himself.

Despite the tensions between the cousins at times, he’s always the one they go to when they can’t figure out their math homework, and he’d always have to meet one of them in the library at 3 am to smuggle in some cocaine and a drink to keep them studying.

#katies headcanons #thomas shelby #arthur shelby #john shelby #ada shelby #finn shelby #polly gray #michael gray #peaky blinders headcanons #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders imagines #peaky blinders #can y’all tell I’m obsessed with the dark academia aesthetic lately?

[yandere-society]

Yandere!CEO!Taehyung who is either obsessed with his assistant who is going to work for another Yandere!Ceo (Like Jungkook) or a coffee store owner where he gets his coffee from but the store is moving to a new town

I got lost in the sauce bc I recently watched The Devil Wears Prada and I saw ‘assistant’ and ‘ceo’ and I went off.  Hope you don’t mind :)

Admin/Writer- Chinkbihh

Words- 6.7k

Trigger Warnings- Sadism, verbal abuse, yandere Taehyung

Actually, The Devil Wears Gucci

 You had always thought that ‘The Devil Wears Prada’ was an over exaggeration of what a boss/assistant relationship could be.  

Until you met Mr. Kim.

Meryl Streep as a boss would’ve been an angel compared to the monster who signed your paychecks now. 

 You had moved to the city with the assumption that jobs would be readily available for your plucking, however not even Mcdonalds was willing to call back for an interview.  After living three weeks in the city without a job, you told yourself that you would apply to anything and everything you came across before resorting to less admirable means of getting money. So when you came across a job position for being an assistant to some company, you had half-heartedly sent an application- no expectations for getting any response. 

 Apparently, this place was more desperate than you for it took exactly two hours before some nice lady was calling you and begging for an interview. This should have been the first red flag, for what kind of office job was more eager than a fast food chain? However the pay was nice and you weren’t in any position to shrug off potential employers, thus you agreed to come in.

 The following day you arrived at the company and sat down with the woman from over the phone, answering her questions with as much integrity as you could muster.  You were answering the stream of questions with ease until one odd one came up.

 “Are you fast?”  She asked not once looking up from her little clipboard.  The question threw you off guard.

“I-I’m sorry, what are you referencing?”  Your confident mask faltered for a second due to your inability to understand what the fuck she meant.  

“You’re going to be asked to make runs to the most random places throughout the city under harsh time crunches, do you think you could do that?”  She seemed sympathetic as she said this, as if she really didn’t want to put you through that.

 This should have been another red flag, but all that popped into your head was coffee runs.  

You just nodded, sure you could do some running around to get some wealthy people a couple cappuccinos for their ‘productive’ meetings. 

 “Are you sensitive?”  

Your eyebrow rose on its’ own accord and before your mouth could open to ask for more context, the interviewer interjected by saying;

 “Our CEO is a very…um, blunt man.  Some people don’t like that personality type so we rather avoid employing someone who will crumble under that pressure.” This was yet another red flag. 

 One that you didn’t bother looking at as you just smiled and told her, “I promise to keep my emotions out of the professional scene here.”

–

‘Blunt’ turned out to be a really watered down version for what the CEO actually was; a heartless bastard with no concept of empathy.  You later felt backstabbed by the interviewer (Irene was her name) for downplaying such a demon. But you could understand her incentive to not scare you off, how else would they get any employees if everyone knew about the CEO’s true behavior?  

After your brief interview, Irene declared you more than adequate enough for the position.  She decided to show you around before your first day the following week. 

The office was modern and chic with everyone seated at different sections depending on their department.  You got the sense that it was an elaborate operation given the high-rise location of the office floor and the expensive furniture. Even the fucking coffee maker at the cafeteria was more costly than your rent.  Despite the modern and voguish environment, all the employees Irene introduced you to seemed amicable and kind enough. You did however notice the slight eye widen whenever Irene told them that you were going to be “Mr. Kim’s new assistant.”  

There was something that no one was telling you, but everyone knew. 

 You didn’t discover what it was until Irene walked you over to a door and told you that it was time to meet the man you’d be working for.  

“It’s very important that you knock everytime.  Walking in without warning will make him furious.”  Irene gently told you as she raised her hand to knock on the mahogany door.  

However before her small fist could make contact with it, the door was ripped open from the other side and a girl rushed out in such speed you could barely catch her face. 

 The one thing you did catch though was the blotched mess it was with tear streaks running down it. You heard her sobs sound behind you and get further and further away as she ran out of the office.  You thought you heard a muttered; “insensitive jerk” as she passed by.

 Irene side-glanced you and gave you an awkward smile.  It was obvious that she didn’t even know what to do. “Um…sorry about that.  R-Rose has always been a bit of a crybaby.”

 She was a bad liar. 

 Irene leaned forward in the now open doorway and called out, 

“Mr. Kim?  Is it alright if I come in?” A grunt was heard but this was all the confirmation she needed before taking your hand and leading you inside.

The office was large with the outer wall being all glass, revealing the sky-line of the other tall skyscraper buildings in the city.  The walls were white but every piece of furniture was black, from the tiny lounge sofa pushed to the side to the very frames the abstract paintings were held in.  In the center of such room was a large grey granite desk that held a golden name plate that clearly read; Kim Taehyung (CEO).

Behind the desk stood your new boss as he ruffled his hair in frustration. 

 His messy strands were icy blue that contrasted the copper shade of his complexion, the sun having seemingly adored his skin but the top of his head favoring the cold. (Or hair dye, but that’s none of your business.) He was tall with a broad torso, yet he was slender.  His olympian body was clad in a suit that you dared not ponder the price of, knowing it could only end with you in tears. His intense and dark brows were pinched forward in annoyance, below them were his egyptian-like eyes that held raven colored orbs ignited with a fire you didn’t want to be on the receiving end of.  His face was slender but his features were anything but. His nose being fleshy but straight and his lips being plushy and berry-red. Spotted on his face were tiny beauty marks that were spaced enough to form a miniature constellation.

He looked up at Irene and scowled, “I told her to get Park Jimin for a meeting and the dumbass calls Park Chanyeol on accident.  Now I have to deal with this dumbo eared giant in the lobby who can’t take a fucking hint that I’m not selling any of his shitty products on my line.”  He grumbled with a surprisingly gravely voice that was so deep it sounded like the devil. 

 You connected the dots with the poor girl who ran out of the room only seconds prior, assuming he fired her or at least yelled at her very brutally.  He huffed once more and sat down in his velvet chair by the desk and finally bothered to give you a glance, just now noticing the person next to Irene.  

“Whose this?  Don’t tell me it’s another brainless bimbo.”  

He spoke of you like you weren’t in the room, which caused your brow to tick in annoyance. 

 Irene nervously cleared her throat and said, “This is Y/n, she is your new personal assistant.” 

 His face was unreadable and stony as he gave you a scrutinizing gaze, looking up and down your form to drink you in. 

 You wanted to shift nervously under his piercing eyes, but you didn’t want to be another ‘Rose’ for him to berate so you kept your calm.  Something just told you that he fed off fear. 

Then he spoke, “Go to Starbucks and get me a caramel macchiato.”

 He didn’t look away from you, clearly addressing you.

Irene bristled beside you, “S-sir, she doesn’t start until-”

You cut her off with a grin as you stared right back Mr. Kim, “I’ll get right on that.  Hot or iced and what size?” -

-

Kim Taehyung was a monster.

His source of nutrition?  

The souls, hope and energy of those mere mortals around him.

  In a way it was awe inducing how brilliant that man was. As much hatred people may have for him, one could not deny Taehyung his respect.  It took a lot of hard work to get to where he had gotten at the young age of 23. But that did not shake the asshole regime his employees had to suffer through. 

 He wanted what he wanted, when he wanted it and exactly how he wanted it.  And if you couldn’t deliver upon such demands? Then off with your head and pray you never cross Kim Taehyung ever again. 

 Taehyung was not a boss who would pull one aside and quietly break the news that your services aren’t needed anymore.  No. He’ll scream it infront of everyone in the middle of a conference meeting and throw in a list of reasons why you should reevaluate your life for good measure.  

People bent so easily to him, submitted without question.  What was once a quiet and calm scene of friendly employees will swiftly change into a frenzied mess at a drop of a hat whenever Mr. Kim walked by.  

Panic would cause people to make copies of copies in fear that they’ll forget the important documents they needed to give him. People would leave elevators once Mr. Kim entered, always granting him his own ride to the top floor no matter how late they were running.  People only spoke when spoken to during meetings and when a deadline wasn’t met, they simply didn’t show up to work anymore due to the fear of facing the CEO. 

However there was a special infereno for the role of his personal assistant, one that you suffered everyday. 

 You caught on quick that he enjoyed giving you nearly impossible tasks, and he cared not about how stressful or absurd the demands were.

 “Coffee and bagel on my desk in 10 minutes or you’re fired.”

“Go downtown and get me those dumplings I like, be back in fifteen.”

“Go pick up my dry-cleaning and set up an appointment for a message at that one sauna in the west side.”  

“Get me the new Gucci robe or don’t bother coming in to work tomorrow.”  

“I got an urge to have a dog, go get one for me by 4’oclock.”

“The dog you got me threw up in my living room, here’s the spare key so you can clean it up.  Clean the rest of the place while you’re at it too.”

“I want a private jet…figure that out.”

“The tire popped off on my car on the way here.  Go pop it back on, it’s two blocks down.”

“Call Jung Hoseok and cancel our dinner plans, tell him he’s an asshole and his mother is a whore.”  

The last request was something he asked often of you, he particularly liked you sending over really vulgar messages to people.  

One time he caught you trying to sugar coat something over the phone and called you into his office to have a ‘talk.’

“Y/n, I believe I told you to to tell Mr. Lee that he could call back when he’s done with his head being up his ass.” 

 He menacingly glared at you as you tried your best to keep a straight face. “What did you say instead?” 

“I-I told Mr. Lee that you would further communicate with him once you deem him more aware and intelligent.” 

 He chuckled and rolled his eyes.  “Funny, that sounds a lot different that ‘get your head out of your ass’.”  

It was silent for a moment and you really wondered if you were going to lose your job just because you didn’t tell someone to shove it up where the sun don’t shine.  

Mr. Kim sat back in his seat and barked out, “When I tell you to curse at someone, you do it.  I don’t care who it is. It can be the fucking queen of England and you’ll call her a cunt if I order you to.  Now get out of my office and make yourself useful by fetching me a coffee.”

Now you didn’t flinch when you called other wealthy business people with cursing insults in hand.

  –

A month had passed and you had slowly become the longest working personal assistant for Kim Taehyung. 

 Other employees informed you that the longest run before you was three weeks and two days and the girl ended with a mental breakdown in the bathroom.  

When they asked you how you managed to tolerate all of Mr. Kim’s demands whilst not getting landed on your ass with him firing you, you tried your best to explain your strategy. 

 You weren’t getting paid to give your opinions. 

So whenever he ordered you to get him something under nearly impossible time limits, you just kept your mouth shut and ran off to compete that insane task. 

 It was hard given he never gave you establishment names of the places he wanted stuff from, it was always given in terms of “that out place in the east side.” “That one restaurant I like.” “That one gallery I visited last time with Jin.”  

And you always only had a short time frame to figure out where he is talking about, go there and get what he wanted, and return back before his timer went off. Sprinting down the busy sidewalks of the city had become a daily thing that was required of you.  

You would go out on these runs 3-4 times a day and do ridiculous calls about 5-6 times a day. Sometimes Mr. Kim would have this look on his face as he told you of your newest assignment, as if he anticipated your objection because even he knew how absurd his demands were.

  But you never gave him that satisfaction, knowing that he will get the upper hand and possibly fire you if you interjected in any way. 

So you would just always smile and tell him that you were right on it. 

–

Kim Taehyung rather enjoyed studying you.  

When he first caught sight of you, he couldn’t help but think you were very attractive.  Yet this didn’t cause his heart to grow fond of you at all. In fact it was almost a negative given all the pretty assistants he had in the past turned out to be dumbest. 

Yet in a matter of a few weeks, you managed to prove him wrong and exceed previously set expectations.  

He knew he was an ass.  And he wanted his assistants to know that when they first met him, never would he want to give a first impression of being a lax or laid back boss.  So maybe he went out of his way to make things a tad more…stressful for you.

  Taehyung couldn’t deny the slight surprise every time you simply responded with that cute grin of yours and pulled off every task that he even doubted was possible.

  After a few weeks of this, Taehyung was forced to acknowledge the fact that you were here to stay as you have proven yourself more than capable.

 But that didn’t mean he stopped fucking with you.

No, if anything he did it even more.  

He found it so adorable to view that expression of yours when you were faced with yet another idiotic obstacle he set up for you.  The slight incoming blush as your face reddened with a frustration that you dared not utter. The pursing of your lips as if you were forcing yourself not to object.  The delightful eye widen when he told you to make vulgar calls. That funny little eyebrow twitch you did when he gave you an especially difficult command. And your pathetic little attempt to mask your displeasure by plastering on an innocent smile and chirping, “Sure, I’ll get right on that.” 

 It was better than any comedy Taehyung could’ve paid to watch. 

 Taehyung was well aware of his own sadistic tendencies, therefore it made sense that he would have an odd sense of satisfaction from pestering you. 

 However the endgame most sadists had never came true in this case; you never broke. He witnessed many assistants crumble under him; whether it be by crying, screaming at him or just plain storming out. 

 He always won in the end, his trophy being their crack in sanity and composure. But you were stubborn.  

You refused to let him get to you.  Maybe that’s why he found himself slightly dumbfounded by you.  You swallowed your pride and did his bidding with a dog-like obedience that you obviously faked.  Yet you never cracked and humored him with a spontaneous rebellion to his dictatorship, you followed along but masked yourself just enough to have him thirsty to hear your actual thoughts and feelings.  

He didn’t realize just how far his fascination went until he found himself at a club on a Saturday night, sat in the VIP lounge with Kim Namjoon to his left and Kim Seokjin to his right. 

 They were sat at a U-shaped booth that was dimly lit and above the chaotic dancefloor that sounded below, their elevated position giving them a glamorous view of the most famous club in the city.

“Let me get this straight, your plan is to blackmail your cousin into signing off on this deal?”  Namjoon clarified while pouring the trio drinks.

 Taehyung shrugged and raised the glass that was handed to him up to his mouth, sniffing the over-priced alcohol before taking a chug of it.  “Why not? Business isn’t meant to be all clean and squeaky.”

 “Still, you’re out of your mind if you think your uncle isn’t going to get you after this.”  Jin retorted from Taehyung’s other side.

 “Jin, don’t think that I don’t know how you avoided giving your tax statements to the IRS.”  Taehyung bit back, not liking the hypocritical behavior of his comrades.

All the men at that particular booth were wealthy ceos who ran as kings in this particular city.  Taehyung wasn’t sure if he liked the term ‘friends’ but at the very least he considered Namjoon and Seokjin as allies in the cruel world of business.  He tolerated the two more than he did most. 

The discussion went on for another hour of so, drinks fading Taehyung’s mind as the man’s speech became increasingly more and more slurred with every topic they covered.  These topics ranging from the current market to interesting endeavors they have faced lately in their line of work. The drinks continued to pour, the bottles were bottomless for such rich men.  His inhibitions were lowered as well as his morals (what little there was left for him). 

He didn’t quite know how or when she ended up in his lap, but he did nothing to push her off. 

 All the molasses covered words she purred into his ear seemed all too appealing.

Her hold on him was instantaneous, something about her screamed a comfortable sense of familiarity that he couldn’t deny for the life of him.

The rest of the night was blurry, but a clear conclusion formed when Taehyung woke up the next morning with a stranger in his bed.

  –

She looked like you. 

 Alot.  

The resemblance was striking and uncanny.  

From her (color) hair, to her docile little features, to the figure shape and even the height. 

 If you had a twin sister, Taehyung was positive that he just fucked her into oblivion. 

 Taehyung had awoken the next morning with a feeling of arms around his waist and another body sharing his satin sheets.  This was not necessarily a new sensation given he had his own fair share of one night stands. But he was not prepared for what he saw when he rolled around to see which nameless woman it was this time.

For a moment, his groggy mind couldn’t comprehend that it was not you, for his brain simply matched up the looks very easily and deduced it as such.  

However after a moment of closer inspection, he noticed that it was a doppelganger but not the real you. The alikeness only took up his mind for a brief moment before he was forced to spot something else while studying the intruder.  

She had bruises. 

 Hand marks around her neck, blotchiness of getting spanked on her ass, love bites that were borderline black littered her body and those ruby stained lips were swollen and cracked from assault of the mouth. 

Taehyung was taken aback by the sight of such brutal violence that marked her otherwise smooth and unbothered skin. 

 If he didn’t know any better, he would have assumed that this girl was the victim of abuse. Yet the fact that she was in his bed had lead to the conclusion that he himself must’ve been responsible for such injuries.  

He always knew that he was rough in bed, but he never went as far as he clearly did last night with this woman.  

It was jaw dropping and a twinge of guilt even glimmered in his otherwise dead heart.  

He must’ve put this girl through hell itself last night just to satisfy his sick primal needs.  And later when he made his way to his kitchen (after telling his maid to wake the girl up and kick her out) an alarming thought bestowed upon him that was too spot-on and shameless for it not to be true.

  It was no coincidence that the one girl he slept whom held so much resemblance to you lead to the wildest night that unleashed his true sadism like it never had been before.

  His intoxicated self had connected the dots for him to face when he sobered up.

He wanted to leave those marks and bruises on you…not her.  

–

Your body was failing you.  

The moment you woke up that morning, a sense of doom was in the air as you discovered your nose was stuffed, throat sore and stomach uneasy.  You were sick.

 If God had granted you a nicer boss who understood the human body and the occasional decline in health, perhaps you would’ve called in for a sick day.  But asking Kim Taehyung for a sick day was like asking the Devil to read a bible….you might as well have just asked for a gruesome death. Taehyung didn’t believe in sick days and you were not in the mood to begin another fruitless job search, so you decided to take some aspirin and soldier on to the office. 

 “Coffee, bagel…you know the drill.”  Was the first words Mr. Kim greeted you with when you entered his office for the morning rundown.  He seemed oddly quiet this morning and he refused to look up at you from his desk. Which was somewhat concerning given he always glared up at you whenever he barked out his demands.  You simply nodded and attempted to shrug off this break in character before going off to make your first run of the day.

 When you returned with the usual coffee and bagel in hand, you discovered that Taehyung was not in his office at all.  You stepped out in search of him and Irene seemed to notice your struggle before telling you; “Oh, he didn’t tell you? He’s in a meeting right now with Mr. Jeon.  Check the conference room.” 

You quickly thanked her and made your way over to said room.  

You swung the door open to see two men (one being Mr. Kim and the other being yet another handsome but youthful man in a suit) talking with hushed tones that held a underlying vibe of anger.  

“Taehyung don’t fucking try me I swear to-”

“I’m not trying anything, Jungkook.  I think you got a little comfortable with your position without keeping in mind how you got there.”

“Excuse me?  Was this your plan all along-”The other man (who must’ve been Mr. Jeon) suddenly stopped talking as he noticed your form standing by the now ajar doorway. 

 This caused your boss to turn and face what took the other’s attention from the conversation at hand. Taehyung looked at you with a scowl plastered on his aristocratic face, eyes ruthless as they bored right through you. 

 You froze in place as your blood ran cold.  

You realised too late that you had made a mistake.

You were in trouble.  

“What the fuck did I say about knocking?!  You worthless bitch, does your stupidity know of no bounds?”  Taehyung snarled, causing your stomach to drop.

 “I-I just wanted to give you the coffee and-” 

He cut you off, “Details of your incompetence do not interest me.”  

Maybe it was because you were sick that your emotions were a tad more sensitive than usual, but for the first time you felt your eyes sting with the incoming tears that welled up in your vision.  Your body already felt beat but now your self-esteem took a plummet as well. Taehyung continued to glare at you but you tried to blink the tears away before they could fall.

 “I-I’m sorry.”  You stuttered before rushing to plop his food onto the table before him and scurry out of the room.  

–

Your brain was pounding as if a hammer was rutting against it with a vengeance.  Your stomach was twisted in knots as your throat screamed for some type of soother for the scratchy ache it was suffering. You sniffed once more and attempted to focus on the task at hand, answering calls left for the office, but your lids kept dropping due to your drowsy state.  You still were licking your wounds after what had happened earlier that morning, for the first time on this job- you fucked up.  

You weren’t baffled at Mr. Kim’s reaction, in fact it was to be expected for him to lash out like that. The only cause of disappointment was in yourself.  You messed up when you shouldn’t have and unknowingly let the fucker get to you. You hated the fact that he saw you near tears, you hated letting him see you in a vulnerable state.  You hated that you almost cowered in fear and let him smell the fear off of you. You were no better than the girls before you.  You were proud to think that he would never get under your skin and that you would continue to pull everything off.  

But of course there was such thing as the ‘straw that broke the camel’s back’.

 You didn’t want to face him, but after the morning progressed into the early afternoon; you were called into Mr. Kim’s office.  

“I need a copy of the sales reports on my desk within the next hour.  There will be a board meeting at one so I’m going to need you to sit in on that and take notes.  I will be going out for lunch via the reservations you made yesterday so if you can call beforehand to double-check that would be great.  Also call Kim Namjoon and raincheck drinks at Oliver’s, tell him that I’m free tomorrow night but not tonight. As for now, my brother recently had a baby so I need to send flowers, go out and get some ordered and delivered to the local hospital.”  He said all of this without looking up at you once during the dialogue, eyes scanning a paper before him as his deep and cold voice filled the room. 

You sniffed out of instinct that can’t be helped when one is ill, to this he looked up at you in neck-breaking speed.  

You thought that perhaps he was going to comment on your obvious impaired state now that he was viewing you, but instead he quirked a brow and asked harshly, “Any questions?”  

You shook your head no as you ran the mental list once more in your head. 

 “Then get out of my office.” 

–

You waited for the elevator to ‘ding’ with it’s familiar arrival.

You needed to leave the office and get those flowers your boss had asked of you, but also you needed to be back in time for that meeting.  So once again, you found yourself in yet another rush. Unfortunately, the fact that Mr. Kim’s office floor was the very top one meant that you had to factor in an elevator ride to and from the top whilst going on these errand runs. 

 You sighed in impatience as a few more seconds passed, time eating away more than you would have liked it to.  

Finally you heard a small sound that signalled an incoming elevator, you entered it when it’s silver doors opened for you. 

 You leaned against the wall and awaited it’s closure, but right when it was about to shut, a pale and veiny hand stuck out to stop it. 

 He stepped in, his face being familiar but not enough for you to correctly place your finger on it.  He looked at the buttons but he didn’t click any when he saw that you both were heading to the main floor. 

 The doors closed and you both quietly felt the elevator descend downwards, the two of you facing the doors.  

Once again, your sickness caused your nose to sniffle and this brought the attention of the man in the closed space with you.

  He turned to face you.  His doe eyes studied you for a moment, before a look of realization sparked in his inky orbs.  

“Are you Taehyung’s assistant?” You meekly nodded, just now noticing that this was the ‘Mr. Jeon’ that was in the meeting you had interrupted earlier that morning.  

You felt his gaze run down your face (which you knew was most likely pale and sick looking with a reddened nose to top it off).

 “I’m sorry about what happened earlier…my cousin has always been a jackass.”  He told you gently with that high-pitched voice of his that held a light musical tone.  You felt your eyes widened in slight surprise at the ‘cousin’ part, but nonetheless you kept your mouth shut.  You wanted to ask how the hell this guy was related to the spawn of satan himself, Mr. Jeon having a friendly and amicable tone while Mr. Kim had  stick shoved up his ass 24/7. “How long have you been working for him?” 

You didn’t know why he seemed so interested in that, but given he was your superior you answered; “A little over a month now, sir.” 

 He snorted at the ‘sir’ part but looked at you pitifully as even he must’ve known how hellish that month must have been for you.  It was silent for a moment and you both felt the elevator slow down, telling you that you were about to arrive at the lobby floor.  

“This might be a little unorthodox, but my company has a paid internship program if you’re interested.  It only lasts six months but if your work ethic is good, we can hire you as a full-time employee after those months are up.”  He dug into his suit and pulled out a business card before handing it to you. 

The doors opened and he stepped out, calling out from over his shoulder; “It’s not much, but it’s better than working for that asshole.”  

–

Taehyung was…sinisterly pleased.  

When you had walked in that morning without knocking, he was thrilled to finally be able to reprimand you.  Sure, it was a small and silly mistake. But it was the first slip-up you had in a month, and of course he was going to pounce on that.

The image of your glassy eyes blinking furiously away at stubborn tears was too good for it to not be burned into his memory.  The embarrassment that burned your face with a gorgeous crimson glow was a mouth-watering sight to behold. When your lip wobbled and voice broke as you for once showed him a side of you that he never saw before (a broken and weak one) he couldn’t deny the bliss that overtook him in that moment.  

He broke you.  

He won.  

He wanted to see it over and over again, your watery eyes and pained face that was laced in humiliation.  The experience triggering a taboo sense of arousal that had Taehyung taking care of himself under his desk minutes after the meeting finished.  

How badly he wanted to be the master of any further emotions of degradation, sadness or pity.  

How badly he wanted that expression to be saved for his eyes only.  

How badly he wanted to push you to your limits….

It took a lot of Taehyung to not tease you when he had given you your chore list of the day.  He limited eye contact and pretended to be engrossed in a stupid HR letter to maintain an image of aloofness.  But, it was important that you saw him as cold and unforgiving. A sadist needed to be feared. 

He awaited your return eagerly for the meeting that was to be held later that day.  He wanted to see if he would have a chance to yell at you and potentially embarrass you further in front of a board of directors.  But when he finally walked into that meeting with expectations set of you being there; Irene was in your spot with a notepad in hand.

 “Where’s Y/n?”  Taehyung whispered in the middle of the presentation to one of his most loyal employees.  

 In response, she nudged over a paper, still frantically jotting down information that Taehyung lost interest in long ago. 

 Taehyung’s hands shook in fury as he read the lines over and over again. 

 It was a letter of resignation.

  –

(Two Months Later)

You sat in front of this old and serious man as he looked over your resume once more through his thick prescription glasses.  

Your internship with Jungkook’s company did not last long.  Not due to a falling out or lack of good work ethic on your part, but due to a mysterious tanking of his company as insider trading and supposed tax evasion caused the business to fail.  

Although, this was the story that was released to the press.  Loyal workers of the Jeon Corporation will tell you that Kim Taehyung had framed him in a effort to get rid of competition.  Somehow, this story was more believable to you than the one the news reported on. 

Either way, you were out of a job and desperately needed to find a way to make a living.  So here you were, interviewing for some shitty saleswoman position in effort to pay your rent. 

“I must say…you have a lot of nerve being here today.”  The old man grumbled after looking over his notes once more.  You spluttered in confusion at this rude comment.  The interview had been going well…what happened?

 “Excuse me?” 

 “We called your former employers for a reference but since your most recent employer is facing jail time, we had to call the one prior to that.  CEO Kim Taehyung sent us a fax that said as a worker you have ‘problems listening to specific instructions, lazy and incompetent, and the worst mistake my company will make by hiring you for you cannot handle a shred of responsibility.’” 

 Your mouth went dry as you pictured the boss from hell laughing evilly as he sent this fax, most likely trying to ruin your life as some sort of sick entertainment. 

 “I-I can explain plea-” you attempted to speak, only to be cut off with just a look. 

 The old man looked at you with critical beady eyes as he pointed to the door and said, “I think you should leave.”

  –

You stormed into the familiar office with a rage you had never felt before. 

 Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and your very livelihood was just fucked with.  How were you supposed to pay your bills or even afford to sustain your basic needs when you had someone like Kim Taehyung telling all future employers that you were ‘the worst mistake a company could commit’?

  He called you lazy and incompetent!  Not once did you fail him in any regard bigger than forgetting to knock on a door one time.  You waited on that man hand and foot while allowing yourself to be degraded in the process.

 “Where is he?!”  You growled to Irene from her usual spot at the front desk.  

“Y-Y/n, calm down, okay?  I know what he did bu-”

“Where!”  You exploded, sick and tired of her always defending him despite all the evidence of him being a devil and ruining innocent people’s lives.

She looked in your eyes and knew that she wasn’t going to convince you to leave.  Irene sighed in defeat and muttered, “In his office.”

 You ran to his office and visously ripped the door open to enter his little lion’s den that so many careers have met their end in.

  He was seated in his lounge area, a glass of Scotch in his large golden hand as he looked up at you in a bored yet amused stare. 

You approached him and he just grinned, a whimsical delight spreading across the elegant canvas that was his face. 

 “Y/n, I was expecting you!  Can you get me a refill babe? Ever since you’ve left I’ve had to get my own and frankly, I’m kinda tired of it.”  He casually called out, shaking the glass in your direction. 

  Your brow ticked in annoyance and you noted that it only made him smirk even wider.

  So your suspicions were true; he did take pleasure in the pain of others. 

 “What the fuck?!  What was with that reference you gave to that company?!  You know damn well that I was the best assistant that you’ve ever had, and this is how you repay me?!  Why? Why do you hurt me so much?” You hoarsely yelled as your voice gave out in the end, sadness beginning to overrule anger as you realized just how little your life meant to someone as big as him.

 Taehyung was quiet for a moment as a somber look shadowed his face. 

 Then a chuckle. 

That chuckle bled into a thunderous and roaring laughter as he clutched at his stomach.  After a solid minute of him laughing like a crazed person, he wiped his tears away and seriously stated;

 “Because I like hurting you.  And you will learn to like it too.  Did you think you could leave that easily?  Don’t be stupid sweetie, it’s not a good look and I know you’re better than that.  You might as well come work for me given that no other employers in a hundred mile radius will hire you.” 

 He got up and slowly stalked towards you.  

“You should know better than to try to leave someone like me.  But don’t worry, I’ll clear matters up in that dumb little head of yours.  You’re not just an assistant and I’m not just your boss. Your my pet and I’m your master.  I don’t care if you like it or not, because you only have two options. Accept it, or never get a job and starve out in the streets.  You will only ever work for and serve me. Sorry I didn’t run that past you when you were working here earlier. I wanted to slowly progress our way there but you left before I could have the chance.  Now I have no choice but to push this all on you.” 

He was only an inch away from your face now, beaming at your shell-shocked state before he plopped his drink into your hands. 

 “Now….I believe I asked for a refill.”

(oooof this was kinda trash so srry but that.  It ran for longer than I wanted it to so im sorry if it’s long winded.  Also spacing might be weird bc my computer is on crack cocaine so that’s fun.   Anyway, for inspiration I used @mint-yooxgi‘s Baekhyun yandere CEO story but obvi hers is much better so like check that out. Lemme know what you think and this is chinkbihh signing off.)  

#kim taehyung #yandere taehyung #taehyung x reader #Taehyung yandere au #taehyung ceo au #ceo au #assistant au #bts yandere #yandere #kpop #yandere kpop #yandere bts v #bts v #bts taehyung #yandere jungkook #jungkook #request #horror #obsession #my writing #bts fanfic #yandere bts fic #yandere bts fanfiction

[girls-scenarios]

I Know You

Idol: Yuqi (G)I-DLE

Prompt: A Yuqi x Reader(Male/Female) prompt where they were childhood besties/lovers who broke up bcs of going separate directions for college but they meet again years later and fall in love all over again

Writer: Admin Kiwi

A/N: I had this scenario close to done and then my laptop stalled and deleted everything and I don’t feel like this rewrite is as good :’) but I hope you all still enjoy.

♡ Tip Jar♡

Yuqi’s days had a routine. She woke up early each morning, got ready in the same exact way, ate a piece of toast for breakfast, and drank a cup of tea for energy before she left for work. Working at an entertainment company could be pretty taxing, especially since she was a choreographer and dance teacher, meaning she was moving for most of the day. Having this routine not only helped her save energy while getting her caffeine fix for the day, but it also made sure that she was on time without trouble. It was easy and she never changed it.

So when she opened her cabinet to find an empty tea box, she couldn’t help but be frustrated. There wasn’t even any coffee hiding anywhere, and as she closed the cabinet, she groaned, rubbing her fingers against her forehead. There was no way she was going to make it through the day without some caffeine, and she debated how late she’d be if she stopped by Starbucks on the way to work. After a moment, she decided that being a little bit late was better than being tired all day, so she sighed and grabbed her sweater and bag, quickly checking that her long hair was curled perfectly before she slipped into her shoes and left the house.

As she walked, she internally cursed her past self for making her current situation so terrible. Then, as she turned the corner, she saw the line for Starbucks and groaned. People were waiting all the way to the door, and there was no way she would make it to work on time if she joined them. But still, she desperately needed caffeine. She could already feel a headache coming on.

Stopping, she looked around the busy city center. The entertainment company was only a few blocks away, down a side street, and as she tried to picture the surrounding stores, she remembered that there was a cafe tucked back near the company. Well, it might be better than Starbucks. She tightened her grasp on her bag and began to walk again, tucking her hair behind her ear and resisting the urge to kick at every pebble on the ground. What a day it was already shaping up to be.

When she turned the corner and approached the cafe, she let out a sigh of relief. The line was much shorter, and because the company was so close, she probably wouldn’t be late. Small mercies. With a small jerk, she opened the door and entered the cafe, looking around. It was small yet aesthetic, and she wondered why she’d never been inside before. The front of the cafe was all windows, letting in plenty of natural light, and behind the counter was a wood paneling wall with the name of the cafe in block letters surrounded by fairy lights. The back wall was covered in artwork and floating bookshelves with plants and books, and as she passed the tidy tables and booths, she couldn’t help but smile. These types of cafes were always so relaxing. It also helped that there weren’t near as many people inside as Starbucks.

As she reached the front of the line, she gave the barista a polite smile and ordered a simple latte with an extra shot of espresso (she was already mixing it up, why not get coffee instead) before moving over to the side to wait for her drink. She was zoning out, staring at the artwork, when a familiar voice startled her from her thoughts.

“Yuqi? Is that really you?”

As soon as she heard the voice, memories started flooding back and a pain long buried flared in her heart. Her head spun a bit as she turned around, her chest squeezing. There was no way. Was it really you, after all these years? Her eyes landed on the speaker, and the air escaped her lungs. It was you. Your eyes were wide with surprise and your mouth slightly open, and you’d changed, of course. You were older, your hairstyle had changed, and you were wearing professional clothes instead of a high school uniform. But she’d recognize your face anywhere.

“(Y/N)?” She finally managed to get out, shoving past her shock.

“Oh my god, it is you!” Your mouth slowly curved into a smile as you let out a short laugh of disbelief. “I can’t believe it!” As you stepped forward, Yuqi began to smile too, even though it was slightly bittersweet.

“After all these years, we finally meet again.” Her heart skipped a beat as she looked at your familiar smile and imagined holding hands with you again. It seemed like the feelings of first love really did never go away. She could feel her face heating up, but seeing you visibly swallow made her feel a bit better. You were nervous too. “How have you been? You look good.”

You flushed slightly. “Thank you, you do too. I’ve been well. University was pretty hard, but now I’ve got a good job a few blocks away from here and I have an apartment. So I’m doing well. How about you?”

“Same here,” she said softly, a bit lost in your eyes. “I actually work at the entertainment company next door.”

“Really? Then I’m surprised I’ve never seen you. I come in here pretty often.”

“Oh, I don’t usually stop for coffee. This is my first time here actually.”

“Well then, welcome.” You waved your arm around, gesturing playfully, and she laughed. For a moment, silence fell, before you cleared your throat. “I’m, um, really glad to see you again.”

“Me too,” she said truthfully, her heart beating faster in her chest. “I think about you pretty often, but I didn’t know how to find you again. I’m glad I came in here today.”

“So am I. It feels kind of like fate.” Once again, silence settled, but it wasn’t awkward. Suddenly, Yuqi felt like she was in high school again, a giddy feeling in her chest as she smiled at you and her palms sweaty. The world seemed to stop and disappear, leaving her alone with you in a bubble of nostalgia.

“A latte for Yuqi!” With that, the bubble popped, and the two of you jumped, awkwardly coughing and laughing. She took her latte with a smile and a blush before turning back to you.

“I really do have to get to work. But I want to see you again. If I give you my number, will you text me?”

“I’d be stupid if I didn’t,” you said, scoffing and making her giggle. Immediately, you pulled out your phone. “I’ll text you as soon as I get to my office.”

“Good. I’ll be waiting.” She smiled and patted your shoulder, butterflies jumping at the jolt she got from touching you again. “Have a great day, and I’ll see you soon.”

You grinned widely in return, nodding your head and giving her a wave. “You have a great day too, good luck at work!”

As Yuqi walked out of the cafe, she wrapped her hands around the warm latte and smiled to herself. She knew that the two of you would have to get to know each other again, and that things would never be the same as they were in high school, but she was almost happy for that. Her boring life bloomed with color, and as she strode into work with her head held high, she apologized for cursing her past self.

After all, the day had turned out great, all because of an empty tea box.

#femifics #(g)i-dle #(g)idle #idle #yuqi #(g)idle scenarios #(g)i-dle scenarios #yuqi scenarios #girl group scenarios #kpop scenario #girl groups #kpop girl groups

[shytiff]

Jan 2021 Wins

ive “journaled” for 6 months now. it started as small ___ wins because when you feel rly empty, even doing the bare minimum feels like a win. written down some of the wins. i think until now i’d like to keep the “win” part. a win against my shadow sometimes. a win in life. some things to be grateful for. a win for remembering it later in the future. i know some days im just basically doing nothing.  there are a lot of wars not won by me. but im still tryna ✨manifest✨

1 - woke up. watched bts’ 2021 seasons greetings. read trap city. afternoon nap. pupuy’s mbah passed away. i got DOMS in my body even though i did the barest of exercise yesterday (frail, i know). shower, matcha latte.

2 - the x banner atikah and i sent for racil post thesis defense has arrived lmaoo. mom made delicious (and sweet) fried banana. did some studying (more than usual, bcs the bar is on the floor)

3 - ate muesli, 3 risols. Kopsus coklat at flavola. Stayed there from 12-ish to 17:30 lmaooo. weekly bahas soal w/ fi. Rapat nemo

4 - first day of collab module. Barely cicil ukmppd. My mood is normal-ish but i hardly have the will to study. Dinner is fried fish with mentai sauce, potato wedges, and saladdd by mom

5 - collab module, qa presentation for rsui reps. finished reviewing tryout 2 solid. did padi pretest (got 66,5). ate chicken porridge, a bit of muesli and vsoy, tan ek tjoan bread, matcha latte, fish and chicken and potato wedges and salad, fried banana. i ate well today lol.

6 - slept during collab webinar, went to clara’s place to study osce and attended padi together. i ate well at clara’s placeee lol. ate nastar, kusuka, white kwetiaw with soup (?), and lele goreng. went back home @ 9 pm. i feel refreshed. even though we’ve half studied half mukbang all day. human interaction rly does heal me. i need human interaction more than i think. at night i dreamed about going to bali, to waterparks, seeing sea creatures, watching a movie displayed on a concert-like stage and screen at the front row. 

7 - woke up at 07:55, finished my part for collab group work. felt a bit tired today. the rest of fam went to DM, and when they were on the way back i HURRIED my way out, not even taking a shower lmaoo. got pistachio matcha latte at starbucks dm. now im more skilled in searching the best spot in a cafe to distance myself from people lmao. the matcha latte is served with some sort of pistachio cream and sprinkled with nuts on top. its like when sbux had taro matcha latte and it had purple cream on top. the pistachio taste is quite strong. reviewed TO 1 padi, sent proposals for nemo sponsorship.

8 - did syndrome try out and padi 2 web try out. studied for osce and padi @ clara’s place. wanted to order pizza since clara bought me food before, but she insisted in ordering lmaoo. so dinner is pizza hut

9 - woke up at 11.00 lmao. havent had breakfast. lunch is muesli with the brand new delishhh chocolate granola and cimory banana milk. did one shot try out, got 71. had a google meet with Prof Agus (that ethics book ghostwriting job from a year ago is not finished until now huaaa) that went from 20.00ish and finished at 22.30,,,,, reviewed syndrome try out along the way. havent made my collab self reflection hhhh. i also need to study for osce. also havent edited article for bukang solid. and there goes my saturday nooo

10 - i swear i keep waking up late lmao. Flavola w atikah, racheel later came with wawa. Kopsus coklat and ukmppd class w dr yudo. After class i just talked at flavola (and ended not studying osce at all for sunday). Went to racheel's to pray and talk some more. Hurriedly went back for booty call with fi, watched konser dies natalis first. Tryout and sum study with fi and clar that went from 20:30 to 00:10. Powered by left over kopsus and 2 snackit pia. Rip my sleeping schedule

11 - woke up at 10:30 ish, the lack of meal and horrible sleep pattern (for my standard) produced stuffy nose during the day and a bit of headache that went away for a bit after i ate. Late bfast is muesli, drank protein, ate tan ek tjoan, plus 2 brownies in the evening. Tht coaching w dr niken. Did self reflection for collab. Had dinner without rice, as usual. Ukmppd class w dr ayu. Finished reflection at 21:30 lmao (deadline is 23:55). Tryna sleep and my nose is still itchy and i sneeze a more often. i hope it goes away 2mrw

12 - DV coaching, scele tryout, took a nap before padi cause my head kind of hurts. Les padi while drinking matcha with vsoy less sugar and no added sugar. I can withstand the horrible sugarless cy matcha taste bcs theres a taste of soy. Didnt do anything else. Havent studied osce on my own until now. Astagfirullah

13 - my head still kind of aches. Its goes away when im eating. im eating so well during the weekdays that i gained 2kgs lmao. lazed around the first half of the day. padi. finally tried saint matcha and damnn its an amazing upgrade from Cy matcha. the green color is super different yall. Cy’s green looks sick and tired compared to saint matcha. the taste? immaculate (although coco deli is more fragrant). caffeine? hits. awake and feel normal? yes. messaged an ao3 author and got replied and turns out she’s making a sequel for my fav fic of hers. yay

14 - osce practice w ara ren ness. bedah and anak osce coaching. had 3 of mom’s cinnamon rolls and matcha latte for the afternoon. cicil osce DV. edited some pld articles. did nothing else basically

15 - wasted my day, didnt have the courage to study osce (i feel like i procrastinate on it bcs it feels overwhelming to me), TO FKUI 2, hurriedly reviewed to 1 before, les padi. i feel like this is the least focused im being in a les. maybe its the too few matcha powder.

16 - woke up at 9 am. breakfast is muesli. reviewed to 2 fkui w apa salahku (finished at 12 pm, there goes half of my saturday). tried fried chicken master. its good and tender but i still prefer moon chicken. 

17 - breakfast is muesli, banana and 2 martabak tahu. snack is keripik pisang aduuu wenak (and picking bits of meat cooked by mom). went to devi’s place w/ racheel silvi. brought RJ to be wrapped. we watched okay madam and its super fun, hilarious and full of twists anddd a bit of cutesy romance. just the right balance to enjoy and let the stress out. late lunch is moon chicken yay!! went home after maghrib, did to padi 6 w/ fi and matcha latte. talked about a senior’s wedding and eating healthier til 22:30

18 - To fkui 3, wasted my afternoon playing my phone, finally mustered some will to study after ashar. My progress is rly slow today. Watched hilarious jessi interview with eric, heechul. Im telling u, i thought tiktok is the funniest internet content but i was wronggg. Seeing heechul flustered is hilarious. Tried to study again at night but only learned 1 disease hiks

19 - had no idea what i did before dzuhur lmao. went to racheel’s to surprise atikah. actually napped at her place lmaoo why do i feel so sleepy. gifted rj to atikah. we ate fried chicken master and pempek on a small green table and talked. its like korean movie lmao. we talked while im simultaneously listening to padi lol.

20 - woke up at 8, chicken porridge + muesli and low sugar vsoy for breakfast. arrived at clara’s @10am. to fkui 4. reviewed it. reviewed general physical exam. finished up to padi 7. tried bombo donut. studied osce. i felt sooo dumb in osce (and clara is already super smart). superrr motivated to learn after going back home (arrived at 7) but i ended up opening youtube and drinking protein lmaooo and its suddenly 9 pm

21 - matcha latte at starbucks dm. Studied osce. Obgyn coaching w the super kind dr ilham. Les padi. Read angel buddy and played with my phone til 12 pm

22 - to fkui. padi as usual. had low motivation, so i did the tryout that day close to the actual course.

23 - left home at 06:30 to study together in capitol. had breakfast in mcd first. thank god i ate rice + chicken and breakfast wrap cuzzzz. studied osce together w ara, ical, kelvyn, dio and kak ilonka til about 2 pm. WALKED to bk bcs my parents are there. apparently simply driving to capitol is too much for them. immediately ate muesli at 4 pm cause i didnt eat anything in capitol. did nothing else after that. did not pray maghrib together lmao somehow mom had mercy on me and let me sleep som more. mom bought sate padang but i didnt eat it. i cried in bed because as yoongi said, “this is the real you and this is the real me”. did not shower/wash my face at night bcs i felt like shit lmao rip my face (its a week before bukang photoshoot)

24 - i feel tired, lazy, and just wanted some sleep. like all that’s in me is drained. ate muesli with strawberry milk. tried fitmee beef. its better than i thought. because the noodle is chewy you spend more time to chew. also ate fried chicken and daun singkong. usually i cant wait to go to flavola but even at 12 pm i just feel like laying down. finally mustered the will to shower and go out. its raining a bit on the way. colddd. 

25 - to fkui 6, osce briefing, covid lecture (that was actually for ppds), padi

26 - spaghetti for brekkie, coaching neuro and ophthalmology, cicil osce

27 - cicil osce, the second to the last padi omg. the fastest padi ever

28 - obgyn osce practice at kak ilonka’s place (that nice kosan at forkabi) with ara, ren ness, kelvyn, dio with mannequins from og dept, tried meokja salemba that serves bulgogi rice. quite good. after arriving at home, studied neuro together with menno til about 20:45 an and i just dont have the energy lmaooo so i gave up and slept

29 - today is bukang photoshoot at bintaro. put base make up on the way. even put glue on my eyebrow. got eyebrow, eyeshadow and blush done by renata. took lots of photos. nebeng om coro afterwards to bxc to meet mom. we ate at genki sushi (renata ara kris mendel oca regan geordie eka). i missss road trips hua. did tryout fkui on the way back home. after shower and prayer proceeded to review TO with apa salahku. Last padi (havent done the questions beforehand so i sprinted it out while on the actual course). Muhasabah osce with kak widia afterwards lmao. Studied osce with clara

30 - studied osce with ara ren ness @ merra. I ate eatlah, moms muffin, kemplang, tango. I ate so welll. Its a productive sesh, neuro and infectious disease. At home i studied osce w clara til abt 22:15 ish. I feel like i miss my me time lmao its been 3 days. I can still go on w clara but i dont wanna get myself sick

31 - simul osce in the morning. Osce study with clara almira. Cicil osce alone. Played my phone at 10 pm even though i still have mental clarity post matcha latte -___-

[foreveregyptian]

DO ALL OF THE AESTHETIC ASKS (but not the ones you're uncomfortable answering)

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

last monday in the gameroom a little louder than i should have

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

any moment i’ve spent with people whose company i enjoy

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

I would increase my voluntary salah, make some more dua, probably pray my salah with other people instead of alone, and go back to jumuah (i havent been going and i miss it). overall increase my rememberance of Allah

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

things id like to accomplish in this life inshaallah (based on first thing that comes to mind)

-memorize the Quran

-get married 

-travel with my future husband everywhere (inshaallah inshaallah)

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

my mom honestly. sometimes we go on little adventures (thrift stores, short walks, cafes, or even grocery shopping) and she gets excited over the cutest things like teacups and stuff and she works so hard for her business and she balances so much on top of her normal responsibilities mashaallah shes such a great role model may Allah protect her and reward her for everything she does ameen

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

I would say my childhood was average, there were a few times where ive gone through rough patches but theyve made me who i am today and I’m thankful for that. 

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

a couple nights ago in front of my mom, i got overwhelmed with a bunch of things that stressed me out and she knew something was up and she asked about it so i kind of cried a bit. 

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

my future husband (inshaallah). I dont know why, but it just seems that it should be him. stargazing seems like a really peaceful activity that requires comfortable quiet and that was the first thing that came to mind. 

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

not really.... considering the fact i’m kind of awkward at first meeting people. 

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

with maryam, shes one of my best friends and im thankful for her

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

To anyone in the room, my shahaada (bearing witness that there is no God worthy of worship except Allah and that Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him is His servant and Messenger)

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

They’re calming to look into! 

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

Its a verse from the Quran that I feel like has affected my life alot, from surah Hashr ayah 59, the translation being “And be not like those who forgot Allah, so He made them forget themselves. Those are the defiantly disobedient.” along with surah Ra’d ayah 28, “Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest”. Lately ive been feeling alot of anxiety for issues of this dunya, and at the same time i have to be honest but I wasnt 100% with remembering Allah. I was doing it, but it wasnt with the best intentions, and I’m trying to fix it. Alhamdulillah my chest is a bit lighter and I feel calmer, as if my heart is at more ease than it was before, subhanallah. 

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

probably donate it to my community school, they really need the money for repairs. 

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

I didnt used to be. I used to hold grudges for a long time until i realized it wasnt healthy and also it wasnt good. and then i was forgiving to people who had harmed me, but if anyone did anything to my friends i would stay mad at them even when my friends had forgiven them (at this point i was like okay tasneem chill). now i can say (alhamdulillah) that i have an okay level of forgiveness (better than what i used to have before).

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

Dont worry about what other people think about you because none of it matters in the end. You are beautiful. You will go through fake friends and one sided friendships and they will leave but you will find gems that will help you grow as a person and will be there for you and call you out on your mistakes for your sake so grit your teeth a bit more and ride it out, verily with hardship comes ease. drill that in your mind, repeat it, because you will go through so much difficulty and emptiness but none of it is in vain. You did not go to umd like you wanted but youre much happier here alhamdulillah and you’ll see why. 

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

pastel! definetly pastel

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

I’ve been exposed to cultures where nose piercings are normal, and i have my ears pierced. for myself i wouldnt want to go past either of those but people are free to pierce whatever they want. Tattoos mehhhhhh i wont judge anyone who has them but theyre not allowed in Islam. personally i prefer henna. 

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

i wear whatever im in the mood/energy for on each given day, but if its a big even i do a full face (what i consider full face is foundation/concealer and my eyes/eyebrows, plus occasional highlight) I dont have time in my routine for eyeshadow or learning how to do it. On class days that i do wear it it’ll range from fresh face to eyebrows and eyeliner+mascara. 

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

Donald Trump, you are the shittiest human being in the world. (not changing this) 

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

(has not been to a concert)

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

red bc its cool

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

zaynub, maryam, hibaaq, afraah, and raneem and maybe somewhere in dc or an art museum or a city with cafes OH YEAH A CAT CAFE 

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

i saw this fanart of a hijabi airbender and it was so freaking cool i wanted to do a costume party and do a hijabified avatar character bc thats sick as heck

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

lol the most high ive been was at the dentist office off of laughing gas and my limbs were falling off the chair and i was laughing my head off 

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

kill someone

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

i’d rather only listen to one song because i love the people i surround myself with and i cant choose just one. 

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.

for me it was kind of heart painful. my heart would miss the person a bit after they passed by and it would go on for months... wishing for another way to see them even if its just a few seconds, the feeling that you’ve met before and wish to meet again, and after a long time when you think you’re over them, they show up and it all starts over. 

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

i’ve been told id look good in short hair and ive always wanted to try it?

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

honestly my drinks vary but i usually like eating the turkey egg white sandwich. not even myself bc i never know what i want from there *nervous sweats*

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

making it to Paradise via pleasing Allah (SWT)

#personal #ask #14phbitch

[shytiff]

Small Dec Wins

i cant believe its December already tf?!?!?!

1 - poli KIA today. saw a mother who cant feel the movement of their baby. the senior midwife tried to find the baby’s heart beat but not finding it. she said she hopes she were wrong. fell asleep at 3pm-ish, woke up super hungry. ate. i swear i feel like my weight when i measured it this morning was ~52, but after eating its close to 54 lol. eating banana and chocolate nextar is yummm. dalbang today is hella funny as always and suuper endearing. fell asleep after dalbang, didnt study hufttt

2 - today im at igd but joined azkia at vk for a bit to see partus. its not that im scared (maybe not consciously) but when the mom was being stitched i felt lightheaded, nausea, cold extremities, and i even had to squat multiple times because i couldnt stand. But i felt better after the partus so maybe seeing it was the cause. I did not feel scared at all honestly ._. and i’ve seen multiple partus before. i dont know why. i can literally feel my symphatetic tone giving out lmaoo. tried matcha latte with Cy matcha powder. it tasted more milky and grassy. mom thought it tasted like nori. i prever cocodeli alll the way (although Cy is cheaper). i think it also has a bit of caffeine that made me feel awake like a normal person should be. 

3 - today is vk but there’s no patient so thank god i saw sumn yesterday. did some cicil ukmppd in the morning accompanied by matcha latte. tried to order dufan tickets and i couldnt find my damn ktp...... fell asleep after worrying about said ktp

4 - matcha latte in the car, swab at lmk, went to dufan by tj with willy, had quite some funn with atikah nila willy amel pupuy. first time trying kereta misteri, quite fun. it rained after ashar so we didnt ride anything after that. turns out my ktp was at barel’s fotocopy lmaoo thankyou ara for picking it. went to solaria ancol afterwards, picked up by mom. i didnt tell her in the morning that i was going to dufan lmao. plenary @ zoom 19 pm. rapat nemo. fell asleep.

5 - went to lmk by tj to surprise clara. went back home and fell asleep. didnt rly do anything afterwards because this ragged body gets tired easily and i dont eat much recently. i can feel the difference before and after eating and there’s actual energy after eating. its not that im hungry though, but i feel less energized. felt annoyed terrible and just wanna lay in bed (this is unrelated with the less food in my system). even though i met up with friends

6 - after LOTS of sleeping i feel somehow better but not to a ‘normal’ amount. watched kimbab family videos. did power vinyasa by doogether with fianti. took a shower and ate indomie and i felt quite normal, except i slept again wtf. i thought i would have the second half of the day but nah. did self tryouts with fianti, 150 FDI questions. I got 96/150 right. huft. such a great reality check

7 - poli lansia with dokter isip, matcha latte in the afternoon rly helps me not sleeping the day away, packed up for depok

8 - poli umum with dr gita (helped doing phys exam), packed the rest of my stuff, ate some risol and matcha lattteee in the car, took swab results, picked up hazmats etc, zoom discussion with FT PKM Kalideres (dr gita) on the way, and i finally arrived at tamel. dinner is granola with vsoy. Taste like a slightly wet granola bar, nutty fiber-y vibe

9 - walked in ui with ara, managed to jog from the trees near st ui until kuburan bikun wow. i reached that point where my leg and heart were going in a steady unburdened pace and my willpower to keep going on was tested. tried the signature steak in Double U Steak by Chef Widi, while ara tried ribeye. the ribeye was more tender than the signature. but the seasoning in the signature is quite delish, salty and oily without being too much (like futago ya). read poppyland fast pass from ara’s phone omg season 1 is finally complete! went to coftof (omgggg i miss this place), it looks different now. ordered matcha latte and it tasted weirdly like a soy milk although ara doesnt feel that way. the matcha tasted weird. wont repurchase. read chainsaw man, its so entertaining, funny and deep at the same time. denji mess around and be too naive sometimes but hes lowkey hot lmaooo. aki is lovvvvve.

10 - first day at rsud budhi asih. had moesli combined with granola + vsoy for brekkie. went back to tamel at 3 pm. it rained when i got back. bought warteg lugina worth 32k. walked to sbux for tumbler day its been a while since i had their matcha latte. it tasted quite good, but not as good as i remembered (?) maybe bcs i asked for non fat milk. sbux closes at 8 pm for now hikss

11 - left tamel at about 7:10 and arrived on budhi asih at 08:54 yalll the traffic. Icu. Bought eatlah double and ate the salted egg part. Nap. ICU discussion with dr Dedi @8pm. I presented from my phone to save data hehe,,

12 - woke up at 8, eatlah brown butter for brekkie, symcard, saladstop's caesar salad for lunch (quite 'eneg' because i didnt eat the cheese evenly so the chicken and cheese were eaten last after the vegs are out. The vegetable's not that variative, and the non vegs make the salad taste delicious (albeit maybe not THAT healthy). Evening jog @UI and i realized i can get wifi sitting near the lake n library. Stared at the night sky from my room, i swear the sky seems super clear. Saw tiny fireworks in the distance

13 - ate muesli and saladstop’s banana walnut cake, symcard, bought moon chicken and saladpoint. lunch was egg salad and the wings. the original tasted so good like??? maybe i havent had msg for a while. also tried big bang, not too spicy which is nice. cicil ukmppd. put my laundry at buih barel lmaoo. try out with fianti. got 70/100

14 - breakfast was salad and leftover chicken. today was bangsal with angga armand. the geriatric patient has a loud murmur yall (and scoliosis, so much that the heart looks distorted). went to margo city to see sales, but when i think about it id rather just thrift stuff lmao. bought lugina. slept through kuliah guru besar. writing this in yellow truck coffee, that had 2 customers on the 1st floor including me. tried banana milk. yall after trying to drink less sugar the beverage tasted super sweet. my headache just goes away. sugar is magic but unhealthy whyyyyy.

15 - igd siang with indah. This body sure is frail. Did cbd with dr afifah AND rescheduled pleno. Rip mobile data i have to use for hotspot.

16 - ok today. Inserted goedel and did bagging. I bagged the patient the wrong way at first (too much). Thankfully the nurses were kind and taught us a lot :) watched some bts content. I feel like after reading househusband my tiktok page is now immensely funnier. Dalbang is also hilarious as always. Put on ginseng sheet mask (smells quite strong)

17 - bangsal. snacked on fried chicken. matcha latte starbucks (turns out its quite full here) and liqo about keeping our tongues in check

18 - arrived at icu. And then opened line. Turns out hadin's swab is positive, so agung kak iman and me have to isolate and swab. So i went back. Ordered kanayam chicken and fish and tempe. Nasi liwet tasted goood damn. Sleptt in the afternoon. Pleno at 4 pm (entered the room 4:30). Had no motivation to do anything. Azkia is getting married! Spent 20 mins formulating words to congratulate her lmaoo

19 - osce simulation, kak nanu was so kind and encouraging. Did try out solid. Lunch is fish bite pasta with melted cheese (cause i had to reach the minimum amount for promo). It got cold so its not that good (pairing it with self made mentai sauce, mixing the mayo and chili, is way much better). Jogged in ui (and searched for wifi). Approached by someone selling haraus coffee (25k), saying that some earnings will be for charity. Its basically sweet. Can barely taste the coffee.

20 - had kanayam for lunch (brekkie is almost always muesli lately). The nasi liwet tasted much better the first time. Walked to yellow truck coffee in the pouring rain. Got banana milk. Saw webinar ksk (electrolyte correction and dr nadhira talkshow). What i got from it is that, dr nadhira is a different person from the first place. Shes visionary, knows what she want and not afraid to reach it. The mindset is different. Even if i try as hard as her, her propensity to growth is different. Cicil ukmppd. Try out with fianti (got 72/100). Talked for an hour about love and marriage and engagements (there are so much of it lately)

21 - leftover kanayam for brekkie, also ate roti salman in cikini st. swab today (met kris, nessa and others). muesli for lunch. i thought my body felt a bit warm, so i decided to find sumn to eat. tried kedai abu bakar’s spaghetti brulee. its okay. maybe because its not too cheesy or meaty, mainly bechamel sauce. the one pupuy made is much tastier. finished the whole 10x20 portion in 2 eating sesh. cicil ukmppd @ bed in the evening (somehow felt refreshed enough to be able to concentrate in bed)

22 - went early to icu to put dops form. lugina for early lunch. i feel like my metabolism is faster? or my body is not so much in calorie deficit mode anymore and it got greedier lmao i used to just ignore hunger but not now, for health. starbiiies tumbler day. ordered black tea latte with non fat milk and vanilla syrup (because raspberry syrup is no more). did cbd geri ppt. 

23 - finally knew the swab result bcs kak iman asked kak farras. thankfully negative. igd with jordi. quite a few chances to do iv line, but i failed 2 times. managed to do iv injection to insert 2 drugs. saw the worst cpr ive ever seen in my life. its too slow, with maximal interruption. fish bite for lunch. wasted the rest of my day

24 - originally intended to run but i cant bring myself out of bed. packed up my stuff. picked up by mom. got the paper result of swab, got ksk from kelvyn @ capitol. can finally drink self-made matcha latte again, but it tasted horrible. i know cy matcha doesnt have that much going on, but even this is low even for them. previously i was starting to get used to the grassy smell.

25 - my lil bro remarked “maybe shes depressed because she doesnt have her chair”. fuck yall. this “depression” that im in is caused by this very place and the people. and im supposed to still muster the strength to study for ukmppd AND get my face together for solid book photoshoot. that shit is too much. this is why the money that goes to cafe, and the bike ride there is worth it for my sanity. after showering, things felt a bit better. had absolutely no will to study today. ate muesli with a bit of matcha latte.

26 - muesli for breakfast. matcha latte is lyfff ive probably said this before but it ~somehow~ makes me feel normal and not in a slump. like im a regular person. with normal moods. and not wanting to sleep all the time. i try to do ukmppd exercises but the pace is so fucking slow, bcs im distracted by get rich haha,,,. the latest potn update (64) is omgggg the mixed feelings? love? hate? anger? everything and nothing? the ~tension and passion~? im obsessed. watched a ton of bts content today and yesterday lmao.

27 - nasi kebuli for brekkie. went to flavola, im the first customer lmao. tried kopi susu coklat, tasted quite close enough to janjiw’s kopi soklat. had the same ~improved mood and concentration~ effect. tried to read ksk. bought milky banana 1L from puyo to give dajen (its his bday yesterday) (i feel prompted (?) to gift people when theyve given a present to me) (because my love lang is not gift giving at all so i barely think abt gifts lmao). talked with sum 33 ipa guys @ dajens house. yay appropriate amount of social battery charging. tryout with fianti, padi this time. got 67/100. 

28 - ate muesli with matcha latte after breakfast. cicil ukmppd. Listened to yoongi's vlive until i fell asleep lol. 2 burger and salad for dinner. omggg hansol revealed his gf. 

29 - spent half of my day tidying up the mess that is my room. figured out what to wear for solid book photoshoot with fianti, ara. matcha latte terosss. phd for dinner. 

30 - breakfast is muesli with cimory choco hazelnut. mom made matcha chocolate brownies. tryna study. slow pace terosss. read some padi materials. dalbang.

31 - bought vsoy low sugar and multigrain. moved my body a bit to youtube videos. showered. felt better. it also rained (which i love). the pleasant mood only lasted til the evening. did nothing from 7pm even though im not sleepy. cant tell when did i start to sleep

and just like that, 2020 kkeut. its sad to say i dont rly remember much remarkable things this year. other than the trip and memories with minor rotation friends. i just remember wasting my life away in my house. i guess that’s the danger of living a monotone life. sometimes you gotta invest some time to have fun, to have motivation to live on and do things. not doing this makes it difficult to live day by day. and friends. meeting friends, seeing new stuff. that helps me live.