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trutrustories · 8 months

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Heart of the TVA (my beloved)

(spoilers!)

HOLY SHIT!

Ok. Well this episode was something else. Absolutely brilliant.

I have to say that, so far, I´m realy loving season 2.

First two episodes of first season were my favourite, but first two episodes of this season are amazing as well and have even more of that beautiful chemistry between Loki and Mobius. But on top of that there is just much more softness and care in their bickering.

After that I was scared of episode three, expecting something similar to Lamentis. And yeah. It´s kind of similar in the sense we are most of the time out of TVA. But instead of being on exploding moon with Loki and Sylvie we are on a cute time travel adventure in a past and maybe it´s just me, but it had that Doctor Who vibe, cozy atmosfere and lot of Lokius content so hell yeah, I say! I´ll take it over Lamentis every fucking time.

And today? I was (once again) afraid we get something similar to episode 4 of s1. I was NOT expecting to be sitting in a chair and forgetting to breathe of uneasiness what will happen next.

And that creepy moment where Dox and all those other people died and Brad having PTSD from that exact form of tortue not being able to even MOVE, Miss Minutes smirk… that scene had me completly stunned.

And then pure terror in B-15 face? Seriously I was not expecting to be THAT invested in this plot line. I was terrified, I felt bad for them all.

Actually I was scared for ALL the characters (except Ravonna and Miss Minutes) the whole fucking time to the point I forget to drink my morning coffee! xD

The horror vibe, and all that fucking suspense?!!

The philosophical conflict beetween Loki and Sylvie and whole moral dilema?!!

The music?!

The funny and cute moments that were effortlessly woven in ?

And like a cherry on top: the relationship drama of it all?!!

Holly shit, what and epic journey! It went by so fast!

Also THIS SHOT?????

Heart of the TVA infdeed 💖🥹

With such a great start I am litteraly PRAYING right now for last two episodes to keep this level of awesome. There was evidently lot of work and love poured into it. (more then anything Marvel gave us in a long time) and I don´t want this season to end up being bad. I hope writers know what they are doing.

Anyway, no idea how I´ll survive whole week till ep 5.

Two hours latter and I still haven't recovered.

10/10.

My new favourite Loki episode.

(I´m sorry for messy text and bad english, but I really needed to talk about it.)

#loki spoilers #loki #lokius #marvel #mcu #loki and mobius #mobius m mobius #loki season 2

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strwbmei · 2 months

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hey mei, what are your top 10 favourite video games?

1. Legend of Zelda : Breath of the Wild - Loved everything about it!! The graphics are stunning, the gameplay is amazing, and the story is easy to understand without playing the other games. I have Tears of the Kingdom, but for some reason, I prefer BOTW much more. Also, the soundtrack is absolutely amazing beyond words!! The one that plays whenever a Ruin Guardian spots you sort of gave me PTSD. Whenever I hear it, I can't help but look towards the source of the sound, get up, and run for my life.

2. Ghost of Tsushima - Everything about this game is a 10/10, but I really liked the combat in particular! There are so many ways you can kill someone, from silently assassinating them to poisoning them to beheading them. Even after the main story, there are still so many side quests and content that are just as fun. Jin Sakai is also very cool and I love how he abandoned his honor as a samurai to protect the people.

3. Eastward - Definitely a must-play if you have a Nintendo Switch. The graphics are unique and colorful yet also somewhat mellow at times. The music is great. All of the characters are so fleshed out and lovable. Not to mention the amount of content in the game, where you have at least one other game inside of it. There's the Earthbound(?) (I forgot what it was called) game inside of the arcades which I still haven't been able to finish to this day, and the Octopia DLC (Really cheap by the way, it was 20$ last time I checked) which is basically a whole other farming game.

4. Honkai Impact 3rd - Of course, HI3 is one of my favorite games. The gacha is very generous compared to other games, the rewards are really good, and the rest speaks for itself. Just the story alone would be enough to make it into my top 10. Story aside, I really love the characters and their designs. Their designs reflect their personality perfectly and all of them are just so lovable. Watching Kiana grow up so mature within only 2 years gives me such an odd feeling. I'm so proud of her, but at the same time, where has the "cheerful idiot" Kiana gone? It feels like only yesterday I was playing through the story and she refused to eat the meal Durandal gave her because there was no one to remove the bones of the fish like Mei usually did.

5. Stardew Valley - Call me basic, but I really fell in love with everything about this game. The music in particular makes me feel so oddly nostalgic. I also have a lot of good memories associated with it. It's one of those games that I play on and off but always end up enjoying no matter what, especially with the use of modding.

6. Dead Cells - Loved it! The combat is so fluid, the monsters are all so unique, the animations are so smooth for a pixel art game, and everything about the gameplay is so enjoyable. I'm a sucker for these types of games, honestly. I sadly haven't had the time to play it for a while now, though...

7. Subnautica - I'm not sure if this counts because even though I have a copy of the game, I've made almost zero progress on it. This is mostly only on my list because I'm a really big fan of sea exploration stuff. I was also particularly obsessed with the idea of making the Cyclops fully self sufficient.

8. Minecraft - I had such a big Minecraft phase back then. I would wear merch to school and sing those parodies thinking I was so cool. No wonder I didn't have any friends during that period of my life. Still, I actually wasn't able to buy the game until like... 2018. I think this would be higher on the list if I had people to play it with and if I could recover my account for it.

9. Animal Crossing : New Horizons - I was obsessed with it during the pandemic, but nowadays I play it on and off. As much as I like the older games, being able to freely place furniture outside is life changing. It's also way easier to change outfits because you can actually see what you're wearing. Not to mention, the graphics are way cuter.

10. Osu! - I got into it because a guy I liked did and ended up becoming better than him. I mostly.played standard, but mania was also fun from time to time. I was ranked at around 4 digits before I had to stop because people were complaining that my keyboard was being way too loud. I just didn't have the money to get a new one at the time, so I ended up deleting the game. Really fun, though! There's a mode for everyone.

#strwb inbox

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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year

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Tw ed recovery talk (also sorry this is INCREDIBLY long. I had a lot to say)

I think the reason I never talked much about my ed recovery is because in my opinion, the majority of ed recovery "inspiration" or encouragement I see (or get unsolicited in replies or asks or reblogs) aren't for me and quite frankly these things are way more triggering than accidentally stumbling upon thinspo or something has ever been for me.

They're also overly positive imo and used to make me feel like I could simply never recover because I couldn't hold onto that mindset. It was just unrealistic for me.

They usually only take into account neurotypical cisgender people (especially women but that's getting better) who are able bodied, had their eating disorders relatively short term, haven't had multiple failed recovery attempts already, and are at least wealthy enough to reliably afford food, new clothes that will fit when/if they gain weight, and healthcare. None of these things apply to me and its impossible for me to recover the same way a person under those circumstances would.

For example, I can't just love my body. My body brings me a lot of pain and distrust and holds very little value to me. I don't enjoy eating as much as I think other people do. I have sensory issues heavily tied in with my ed. I can't cook. At the beginning of recovery, I physically couldn't eat or afford food and I still haven't gotten proper clothes. I don't know when I will be able to. I've had my ed for almost a decade. I can't eat intuitively due to adhd and autism and need someone to tell me when I should eat. I have permanent damage from my ed that will never go away.

Instead of seeking out positivity and encouragement, I retreated to what I needed- which was time, understanding, people to talk to, and honestly to just get it (the first few months of recovery) the fuck over with. I don't feel like I ~chose~ to recover or that I had some grand motivation for doing so. Recovery even initially made me intensely suicidal, made my anxiety and ptsd worse, worsened my sensory issues and my chronic pain significantly all before I noticed any positive impact.

Not much has even changed since considering myself fully recovered- well, things *have* definitely changed, but they're not better. They just are what they are. In some weird way where the suffering and happiness balance out and are equal to that of when I gave in to my disorder.

I don't want my pain to be pushed aside, I want to understand it. Because there's a lot of it and the more I shove it into the closet, the more it will bury me when that door is opened again. Moral of the story, if you think it's impossible for you to recover it isn't. But it is possible that you don't have what you need in order to make it happen right now and thats okay. Take your time and try to understand yourself. I'll always be here if you need advice or to vent or to talk to someone who will try to understand.

#pretty sure this is like my longest post ever sorry guys #i really needed to say this stuff #thank you if you were patient enough to read it all

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renniethedwstan · 1 year

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I just can't puck a favourite Doctor anymore. I love them all. I love all the Classics, (need to watch them again to know why i like each doctor from the classics. )all the rebooted. I love Nine, ten, eleven, twelve and Thirteen. I just can't pick one. They're all amazing and wonderful in their own ways I just can't pick at all.

I love Nine because he's a no-nonsense smart aleck spaceman who falls in love with a modern-day shop girl. He's still recovering from the war. He obviously suffers from either trauma or PTSD but tries to make the best of it. He has some of the best one liners and is just funny. (Or at least I think he's funny and I do like a lot of his episodes.)

I love Ten because, let's be honest. He's a pretty boy, goofy. His and Donna's dynamic will always be iconic. There are moments where I just want to smack the sod because he's a jerk or he's just pushed the lines too far. But I can never stay mad at him. (Well maybe I can because he removed Donna's memories but that's a different conversation) he's pretty, he's fun, also funny as well. But is a tad more childlike. I enjoy watching his episodes with my mum as she adores ten.

Eleven. I love this Doctor so much. Yes I love all of them like I said but I will admit there is a soft spot for eleven in there as well. He's an elderich old man with a young face. He acts so childish that it makes it obvious that he's actually a very haunted being whose filled with so much anger and sadness that he loses control and some of his kindness. As much as I love this Doctor. He's not a doctor I'd find myself trusting easily just because of how dark he can get. He's suffered a lot of lost but he's also comfortable causing loss as well. Which shows that he's lost compassion and its going to be hard to rail him back to the spot he used to be where mercy was better than cruelty.

Twelve. Okay so my love for him is a bit more newer as I felt like I never gave him a proper chance when I was younger but I'm now reaching his episodes (s10 it's underrated. So is Bill and his dynamic) I will admit I struggled to like him when I was younger but now I'm older. I feel like I can relate to his grumpiness quite a bit. Humans are stupid and annoying. They're hard work I just wish I had the confidence to insult everyone or had the ability to tell them to shut up like Twelve did. Now on my rewatch I could possibly say Twelve is a brilliant Doctor. Maybe even the best. Not writing wise but in a. He doesn't react like how ten or eleven reacts. He reacts a bit more like how nine reacts. With mercy. He gives the enemies a chance. I mean all Doctor's do but Twelve does it similar to how nine does it. They take a different way of sorting things out with snark and grumpiness.

Thirteen. Oh my precious baby girl. I'm still not okay that she's no longer the Doctor. I loved Thirteen if I'm honest. I will always defend her Doctor. Yes maybe the episodes needs tweaking ill say that but I don't hate the Doctor. I loved her Doctor. She's bubbly fun and just a funny o' ball of social anxious. She's a mood. She's my lil ND mood. Yes she can go dark too. And those moments have made me cross when she takes her anger out on her fam. So she does make me wanna dmack her like ten does. Bit I'm probably more likely to trust her more than I would with eleven just because she seems like she has such warm energy when she is happy. She's a bit more level headed than ten and eleven I'd say (may need to watch her era again. I haven't done it yet lol ooops) she was more with her words than actions I'd say but correct me if I'm wrong. I did like the way she defended Ryan that was sweet. Yes she was awkward at some moments but she's an awkward Doctor. But I will say. Some of her episodes had some funny moments for example when Graham was just like "WORST UBER EVER!) I loved that. I also loved the Master from her era. Now I love all the incarnations of the Master but I will say that Dhawan is my favourite. I just love how utterly fucking manic he is. Dude terrified me. Yet at the same time. He got those dark puppy eyes that makes me wanna hug him too!!.

...sorry bout that rant. But I'm excited for the 60th though.

#doctor who #thirteenth doctor #twelveth doctor #eleventh doctor #tenth doctor #ninth doctor #i love all of them for different reasons #bbc doctor who #christphor eccleson #david tennent #matt smith #peter capaldi #jodie whittaker

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suzythelie · 1 year

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I posted 6 times in 2022

That's 6 more posts than 2021!

6 posts created (100%)

0 posts reblogged (0%)

I tagged 5 of my posts in 2022

Only 17% of my posts had no tags

#abuse survivor - 3 posts

#complex ptsd - 3 posts

#bipolar 2 - 3 posts

#mental disorder - 3 posts

#mental health - 3 posts

#ptsd - 2 posts

#bipolar mania - 2 posts

#stranger things - 1 post

#mental illness - 1 post

#bipolar disorder - 1 post

Longest Tag: 16 characters

#bipolar disorder

My Top Posts in 2022:

Recovering from narcissist abuse,and severe ptsd. Im bipolar and im just barely hanging on. Some days go by ok and some days I hide and cry all day. I scream on the inside so no one hears me, I smile because I dont want anyone to know how bad I feel. The sun doesn't shine on me and the darkness is not where I want to be. I never want anyone to know how bad I'm hurting, but sometimes its to much. I feel so lost and um looking for something anything that makes me feel better. I dont want sympathy, I dont want to blame anyone, I just want to be able to stand on my own two feet and feel worthy of life.

0 notes - Posted August 24, 2022

Today I hate myself! I slept to long, I are the wrong food, im gaining weight when I need to lose. My head hurts from crying, my knees hurt from praying to God to help me find peace. I want to scream and throw something breakable. I want so much to be ok and stop feeling this way. How am I so old and still so stupid. Why do I always choose to care. I let him hurt me over and over so many times that when he left for good I just knew he would come back. I took steps to make sure he would never hurt me again. Steps that I knew he would not be able to accept, I didnt want him back. I was to scared that I would keep allowing him to hurt me until he went to far.i didn't know he was a narcissist for sure. The day he told me he was marring a girl half our age it was like he took all of the air out of my lungs and held his hand over my mouth so I couldn't get more. Now she is his victim and im living in a nightmare. Im scared of the whole world. I cant ever be with someone like him again but everyone I meet seems to be like that. So it must be me. So what do I do. I put on a smile and I pray to God above please don't let me fall in love today everyday. It would kill me.

1 note - Posted October 19, 2022

I want to write a book and I need some help. I dont even know where to start actually.

1 note - Posted August 19, 2022

I had never heard the word "narcissist " before and I really didn't know what it meant. About six months into my relationship with him my daughter said to me" mom he is a Narcissist and he will only hurt you" I kinda laughed it off and I didn't really think about it again. When he beat me up and threw me out of his car in the middle of nowhere in the pouring rain only to come back and get me 45 minutes later, my friend at work told me he was a "narcissist " but I still didn't know what that meant. In today's society everyone has a label label. Im bipolar and i have ptsd, so saying someone is a narcissist didn't really bother me. Fast forward about 4 years. He had completely taken over my life. He gave me my medication because he had if locked in a box so I couldn't get it or even see what hd was giving me. I couldn't see my children unless he was with me. I felt empty and alone, but a narcissist? Maybe? Was he a narcissist or was I for wanting to have things my way for a day or two. Was it his fault or mine for letting him say whatever, do whatever and still believe he loved me. Whose fault was it? I honestly didn't know!

4 notes - Posted December 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Being a survivor means getting past the pain and hurt to a point that you can help people who haven't made it to that point. Hope and faith brings a person closer to living happiness again and never looking back to what happened wanting to go back. Its help you push forward and start over weather you're alone or not. Being alone is not a bad thing sometimes it make you strong so that you can let the person who is supposed to be in you life walk in and show you what real is.

7 notes - Posted November 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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mesozoic-system · 3 years

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Bakugou Katsuki is not as bad as he seems.

Okay, fine. That's a lie. Bakugou is a loud and obnoxious asshole with little to no character development and will snap at anyone who breathes on him the wrong way.

Now that that's out of the way, let's move on to why he's like that.

You all know what PTSD is, yeah? If not, it stands for "Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder". It's something that causes panic attacks, unnecessary aggression, trust issues, nightmares, anxiety, depression, and more. People will develop it after a traumatic experience. It takes years of therapy to recover... actually, most people never recover from it.

Fun fact: Katsuki canonically has PTSD. It's confirmed, and you know what? After everything he's been through, it's not much of a surprise. He's been through one tragedy after another and never seems to get a break.

When we first met Bakugou Mitsuki (Katsuki's mother) in chapter #96, we instantly realized how aggressive she was. I mean come on! She talked smack right in front of him and his teachers- in front of All Might who she knew her son was very fond of. Katsuki may be irritable, but to have your own mother backhand you in front of your own role model is a little much.

Later on in chapter #165 during the Provisual License Exams, we get a little more information that only points towards more abuse- and this time it's not so verbal.

Most people paid no real attention nor gave it a second thought in these panels, but remember when Katsuki suggested to use violence against the kids? Of course, you'd look at it and wave it off as "normal Bakugou behavior", but what he says next took me by surprise:

That's right. He was raised that way.

Which means either Mitsuki or Masaru (or both) had struck him in some way multiple times as he was growing up, and I doubt it was Masaru.

"Spoiled" my ass. He might have a strong quirk, but people don't turn into little monsters just by being praised. It'll definely boost his confidence, but not dramatically. This could also explain his aggression toward Midoriya. He realized how helpless he was and had power over someone else for once. But that's just a theory.

Okay, let's fast forward a bit. He's finishing up his third year of Middle School and is preparing for the UA entrance exams. He's pushed away his childhood friend to follow his own dreams and tells him to jump off the roof.

Literally.

And then he walks out the door only to regret it much, much, muuuch later in the series- y'know. The "character development" I was talking about.

Next time we see him though, he gets what he deserves.

One panel he's tramping through an alley with his friends, and the next, he's being swallowed alive by the most perverted-looking slime monster I've ever laid my eyes on.

While Izuku's dreams are being crushed by his own hero, Katsuki is fighting for his life in the middle of town. He's struggling, but all he could do was look back at all the dozens of fearful eyes...

Right there. Right now. Look at him:

He's terrified. He's humiliated and afraid and hurt and despite all of the heroes that were there, none of them had even attempted to save him.

And this is where it really starts. This is where it all begins. Next thing we know, Izuku's running straight for him... The boy Katsuki's bullied almost all of his life is risking his own in order to save him.

You know the story from there; All Might trains Izuku to withhold his power, they get accepted into UA, and then comes the Sports Festival.

Katsuki's already made up his mind: he's gonna win. He's willing to give everything he has to show the country what he's made of, and this may be his only chance to make up for the mishap several months ago. And Monoma, being a professional at making things worse by opening his mouth, rubs salt in the wound.

It was pretty easy to predict Katsuki's reaction: pissed off and more than ready to prove him wrong. He does, but it cost him his "first place" during the Calvary Battle. But that's okay 'cuz it's not over yet!

Welcome to the next and last stage of the festival: The Battle Tournament, where all the kids get to beat the shit out of each other until only one remains.

Turns out, Katsuki does win. It was a foolproof plan: get Todoroki to go all out on him so he can make a final impression before the end of the day. But it was obvious that Shouto was still unsure of himself, so Katsuki did what he did best:

He had to piss him off.

But instead of getting angry and bursting into flames like he had planned, Shouto threw away the battle at the last second, and everything Katsuki had worked for with it.

No shit he's gonna be upset! He worked his ass off to get where he was, and the whole point was to leave himself a footprint! His entire life had been dedicated to that moment, and it faded away right in front of him.

Midnight put him to sleep and he woke up and threw a temper tantrum.

Now this is was UA did wrong:

Why would you do that?! They were all aware of what happened to him only a few months ago, he obviously hasn't properly recovered from it, and they restrain him in front of thousands of people. They cover his mouth and gag him, lock his hands in a tiny metal box and expect him not to go insane. Helloooo?! Wake up! He's just a kid!

Several months go by and now it's time for camp. Katsuki is tired. They all are. It's been a long day of training and training and training, and suddenly villains come out of nowhere, and nobody is prepared. And who shows up? The League of Villains, and they're after certain students...

Tokoyami escapes safely, but Katsuki isn't so lucky.

Just think about that for a second. When we see Shigaraki holding a picture of him, it's the one where UA tied him up. He knows what this child has gone through and he pities him. To be honest, I think the LoV treated him much better than anyone ever has (except maybe Kirishima). They're hesitant, but they treat him with kindness. They didn't just want him for his quirk. They saw what the heroes did to him and wanted to help him get the revenge he deserved.

But when All Might showed up (more like "burst through the wall like the Cool Aid man"), Katsuki is instantly teleported in the strangest way possible... and the most traumatizing.

He chokes out this weird slime-like substance that devours him within seconds. Thankfully it only last that long, but then again, the Sludge Incident, remember?

Yeah, bet that brings back some memories.

But what must have hurt him the most was All Might's downfall and early retirement. He said it himself:

After several chapters, he finally burst. He's been holding all the pain inside of him until it bubbled over and he couldn't take it anymore. So he went to the only person he could- the person he hated and yet trusted the most.

Maybe the Class 1A concert helped him in a way. It seemed like it brought him down and maybe even relaxed him a little. And something incredible happens. Something we haven't seen from him at all until now...

(From here, I'll try to keep it short to avoid as many manga spoilers as I can. That and I'm tired...)

He began to change; started to support Izuku... in his own twisted way, of course. As chapters went by, he started to open up little by little. He admitted what he had done to Izuku in middle school to All Might, which had brought him some peace of mind. It wasn't quite the apology we had hoped for, but I guess it'll do.

And during the war, he made the greatest sacrifice, finally unlocking his quirk's full potential. Despite being unable to move, he used his quirk to throw himself in front of Izuku without thinking, taking a blow to his stomach. To his stomach.

He was impaled.

Holy shit.

Last time someone had been impaled was Nighteye, and he died from his wounds.

But Katsuki somehow managed to survive... And woke up ready to beat Izuku's ass if he didn't wake up.

Anyway, that's all I have to say (so far). However, I'm excited for Season 5 of the anime series! Can't wait to see our new story animated! I mean, I've been watching the episodes as they come out, but still.

-Blightcon

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bakugou katsuki #kacchan #midoriya izuku #deku #all might #bakugou mitsuki #bakugou masaru #todoroki shouto #Utsushimi Camie #tokoyami fumikage #the thoughtbox

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