really love characters who have varied panic responses. kirk stating himself that he does not panic outright, externally, not in high-stress dangerous situations, but instead becomes tense and level like a wound string, on-guard: mostly because his role as captain necessitates that he maintain level rationality even when facing potential death as his training as 'the guy who tells you what to do when shit hits the fan' requires, but also because his childhood experiences taught him early that drowning in the desperate haziness of panic won't help you survive. especially as kirk already follows his intuition so deeply. he learned to grasp and contort the feeling. spock is the main person who represses his emotions, of course, but kirk does it to those deep-set, personal ones (this includes how he doesn't reveal anything truly personal about himself willingly 90% of the time, only what others already know/shallow anecdotes) in a much more subtle way that's really interesting to me. certified expert at avoiding the subject as long as he isnt caught out on the lie. professional bluffer.
in terms of past or parents we dont know much!!! hes known as the heart-on-his-sleeve guy!!! like yes he yells, he gets irritated, excited, hes a whirlwind of quick-thinking and plans and intuition, he goes out of his way to connect with his crew and shows it, when he puts on a little act or bluff he puts his heart into it and clearly enjoys the dramatics so much, at times he wears his heart on his sleeve, he laughs openly and is honest to spock about what he means to him, he's very sun-coded to me in a burning, passionate way, always intertwined with the stars and seeking them out, but when it comes to genuine deep-set turmoil? we dont actually know all that much about him??? hes so full of emotion and character (i love fics where spock characterises jim's mind/bond as a whirl of colour and sensations, hes a quick thinker!!! intuitive!! lively!!!) and yet its still so outwardly surface level. tarsus iv gets mentioned like twice? so especially here where kirk gets briefly jumpscared by the creature, because like:
its subtle but his eyes. his eyesss!!!!! kirk commands with his emotions but there's always some sort of level of control to it, or he transforms them into something that spurs on others or uses them to ascertain a goal: seeing unguarded fear/distress in his eyes even if its faint and brief (in this instance) makes me go insane every single time. like!!! its such a small moment!!! he isnt even panicking!!! really, he just got jumpscared!!! its insignificant!!!!!!! but seeing a two-second flash of actual, naked apprehension is just...oughhh,,,,,,,,,
oh god, and dont even get me started on the galileo seven episode where he assumes a tense level-headedness throughout the whole thing, irritated and apprehensive but not panicking, making sure he maintains intelligent rationality, even when he has to leave them behind, but when spock and the crew are confirmed safe and the bridge is occupied the camera pans to him and his eyes look like they're fucking watering and he's so achingly relieved. don't even talk to me. im. fuck.
he shows so so much but at the same time reveals so little.
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So I’m a little late to the party, but better late than never! This is for @pixelatedraindrops and is a belated birthday gift for her! Thanks for chatting with me, I really appreciate it.
This takes place in my Twin Detectives au. It’s something that would occur close to the end of the au so I’d highly recommend reading the short series first. The link is in my pinned post on my blog! First one is The Masks I Wear.
But yeah, this is a little extra bit for that series. Hope you enjoy!
Makoto sighed in relief as he stepped off the private jet’s steps and onto the runway. Flying was okay, he supposed. But it was always far better to be on solid ground. Perhaps it would be different if he could have flown the plane himself, but the staff at the WDO constantly went on and on about him not having a piloting license and how it was for his safety and to let his mind rest that they had others control the vehicles while he was on the job. Part of him really wanted to spill the beans about his immortality thing but he ultimately decided to just let it go.
But anyways, he was back from an overseas mission. It hadn’t been too hard. It was fairly easy to go under cover with his young face and body. No one ever saw it coming that the petite, innocent looking kid was the investigator they were fearing. And they would never know. He hid his tracks well and completely. Only a few knew his true identity as Number One of the World Detective Organization.
And speaking of that, he was ecstatic that he could finally see one of them again. His only family, Yuma. It had been a few months since they had last met up and he was practically dying to see his brother once more. That thought put a bit of a skip in his step as he dragged his suitcase behind him to the car that was waiting for him. “Take me to the main office,” he instructed the driver. He didn’t have much to do there, just needing to drop off some files and then he could return home.
He drummed his fingers on his leg as he watched the world go by through the car window. He started envisioning all the things he and Yuma could do once he got there. Maybe they could go out to eat. Or a movie. Or a walk in the park. He wouldn’t mind a conversation about work, so long as it was with Yuma. Anything and everything was good to him.
His thoughts didn’t stop even as he did his necessary tasks at the office and hopped into his own vehicle. Despite how much time had passed and how their lives had been, the two still remained close. Yuma looked visibly older than him due to his ability to age. He appeared approximately ten years older, with long lilac hair and a taller body. But inside, the same kind soul resided. The one that had accepted his biological clone for who he was and even considered him family. Nothing would ever break the bond they had, he was sure of it.
His spirits remained high and even grew once he caught sight of the home. He was nearly bouncing in his seat with excitement as he pulled into the driveway and unbuckled his seat belt. He saw his brother’s car so it was clear that he was at the house. So it was perfect!
He grabbed his suitcase and lugged it up to the front door. He slid his key into the lock and pushed the door open. “I’m back!” he cheerily shouted into the house, eagerly awaiting a reply.
But nothing.
“Hmm? That’s strange,” the homunculus muttered. Typically, Yuma would come rushing out to greet him. But not this time. Had something happened?
With a mixture of curiosity and worry, Makoto walked through the house, checking every room. And he finally found his target in the bedroom, though not how he had expected.
Yuma was on the bed with a laptop on his blanket covered legs. That wouldn’t have been so bad, if not for the dark circles under his eyes, the ragged breathing, and the flush on his cheeks. His hair also looked unbrushed, as if he hadn’t had time to take care of himself.
“Yuma. You look like you haven’t slept for days,” he stated bluntly from the doorway.
The other startled with a yelp, looking towards the voice. He relaxed a bit when he saw his brother there. “Oh, Makoto. I didn’t… realize you were here. Welcome back.”
“Yes, I’m aware of that, considering how focused you were on your work. But back to my original concern. You look terrible. What’s happening?” he demanded.
Yuma glanced away. “Uh… well, I’m slated to take over the Nocturnal Detective Agency from the Chief soon and I’ve been… trying to go through the paperwork and understand how to run it.”
Makoto crossed his arms. “How long have you been at this? And how many breaks have you had?”
The lilac-haired man coughed, then cleared his throat. “Uhh… four days? And… maybe a quick snack break once or twice a day?”
“You… are so unbelievable,” Makoto muttered with an unamused expression as he marched forward. He took the laptop away, closed it, and placed it far enough away that it couldn’t be retrieved easily. “What have I told you? That humanity has limits to what they can do! And here you are, pushing yourself over that limit. I might have a heightened immune system, but you certainly do not!” he scolded as he reached into the closet to pull out another blanket. He spread it over top of his brother’s body, tucking it in and making sure it covered him well.
Yuma smiled sheepishly. “I’m… sorry?”
Makoto huffed as he pushed a second pillow under the human’s head. “You better be. Reflect on this and avoid making this mistake in the future.” He stepped away until he reached the doorway, pausing to point a finger at Yuma. “Now stay put until I get what you need. Got it?”
His brother nodded with a tiny laugh which turned into a cough. This motivated the homunculus to get moving and find what he needed. Medicine, a washcloth, apple slices, and a glass of water were retrieved and brought back to the bedroom. It was relieving to see that the instructions had been heeded and no movements had been made. He handed the medicine tablets to Yuma along with the glass of water. “Take these first. Then I need to watch you eat at least four pieces of apple.”
“Alright, alright,” Yuma conceded before swallowing the tablets with a sip of water. He took one of the slices from the plate on his night stand, nibbling it slowly. “At least we don’t burn the kitchen down when chopping up fruits.”
“Yes, that is true.” Makoto sat on the edge of the bed, bringing the damp washcloth over and draping it across Yuma’s forehead. “Hopefully this developing illness of yours will be halted before it can get worse.”
“Oh? I didn’t know you cared so much,” the human joked as he finished his second apple.
“Only for you,” he replied honestly. “Anyone else I would have just recommended things to. But you get my special attention.” He combed his fingers through the messy hair, gently untangling some of the strands. “So I expect you to get better under my care and attention. Family looks out for each other, and I intend to do that to the fullest extent of my abilities.”
Yuma laughed again as he finished the last bite and got comfortable under the blankets. “You know, technically I’m physically older than you and normally should be the one doing the caring. But here we are.”
Makoto raised an eyebrow. “But you forget that I’m technically mentally older because I have your grandfather’s mind. So I can recognize my limits much easier than you can, as I already have a lived life in my back pocket. But those technicalities don’t matter in this instance. You’re sick and need help. I’m here to help. And that’s that.”
Yuma sighed contently while laying his head down on the pillows, the medicine beginning to kick in. “Okay. Thank you, Makoto. I… really appreciate you, you know.”
This made the homunculus smile. “Yes, I do. I appreciate you, too.” He then hopped off the bed and went over to the light switch. “Now get some rest. When you wake up, I’ll check you again and then we can possibly do something fun together.” He flipped the light off, bathing the room in darkness and closing the bedroom door. He quietly walked to the living room, sitting down on the couch and sank into the soft cushions. This hadn’t been the most ideal of homecomings, but he couldn’t complain too much. Perhaps this was good and that it would hopefully teach his brother to not work so hard for so long. He had a feeling this wouldn’t be common, and that eased his mind. So much, in fact, that he was tempted to take a nap, too. He was a bit jet lagged, after all.
So he closed his eyes and relaxed his mind and body. And when he woke back up, he knew he and his beloved brother would be ready to tackle anything the world threw at them.
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