#i just am liking my job today

[seagull-scribbles]

Happy valentines! what says ‘love’ like two smelly, unwashed teen boys?

Drew this after a lovely convo with @less-depresso-more-espresso, who also gave me this song to listen to 💕 so this one’s for you bestie aha

#tmnt 2012 #rasey #casey jones #raphael hamato #less-depresso-more-espresso #I love the farmhouse arc a lot actually #I think Casey went and got a few jobs on ‘local’ farms to help pay for food and bills #and April got a job helping in a shop or something she’s not very outdoorsy #and after Leo wakes up raph would start going outside #mikey looks after the animals and the farm there but we know ralh likes animals and flowers so I think he’d keep pretending to be too macho #his main jobs looking after Leo #but Casey could get him to goof off and sit in the sun and stuff #maybe raph would help chop wood or just sit near by drawing or trying to make daisy chains for mikey #something silly #anyway #I don’t do romance but I like using today as a chance to tell my friends I love them and to spend quality time snuggling my dog so #I hope everyone has a good day xxx #thank you again depresso xxx #Spotify #I tried to make this so it couldn’t be platonic but who am I kidding I sit on my friends like this all the time lmao #oh I drew this in my usual grunge way I do for 2012 and then tried to make it look softer with the same brushes so lmk if it worked

[moeblob]

I am really tired of a situation rn.

#fe three houses #felix hugo fraldarius #me using felix on my angy days because he is my angersona? you bet! #anyway if you want to try to get someones money or something bc you hurt your own car banging into mine #can you try to be a bit more timely with it buddy come on you hit me on feb29 ! #why am i getting your insurance company calling me today ! #also i would like to point out i didnt do it and neither of us were hurt and i filed a claim with my own insurance comp #and also filed a police report bc he didnt even suggest calling the cops to the scene #so like yeah hey man maybe you and your insurance company can move a lil faster or smth #literally everything that happened the day of is - according to my dad - an intimidation tactic #i look like im 15 and he probably thinks he can take advantage of a new driver but ya know! tough luck! #im just really tired and stressed over multiple things not negative so getting this on top of it was like #bro .................... anyway my phone didnt pick up for some reason so i called back and then nothing got resolved #cause the person who actually called me wasnt around to connect the line to from the guy who answered #idk man just its a lot despite my v minimal energy #got a job interview on monday tho ! and then also next week is an eye exam #and you might be thinking isnt that a good thing to get your eyes checked? you are correct but i am horrified #there are two body parts that give me absolute anxiety and eyes are one of them #and i know my eye sight is declining and im just v anxious #its fine im going to be fine i just have to be anxious about it

[ceasarslegion]

No i dont think its a good thing to make hating children your entire personality but can i please just say that i dont like them and dont want to deal with screaming temper tantrums and meltdowns from other peoples kids (especially, ESPECIALLY when the parents are absolutely useless in dealing with them) without 30,000 people crawling out of the woodwork to assume that i think all kids should die

#i dont like them. in fact i kind of do hate them #but i am also a mature adult who can control my actions and do not show it outwardly #i am actually very good with kids #but i dont want anything to do with them and my dislike of them doesnt mean im a child abuser #thinking of this after working the family and disability line at work today #and the amount of meltdowns i had to soothe myself because their parents just stared blankly at them #and how this happens all day every day in that line #its because you put their teddy bear into a bin and it disappeared. thats why theyre screaming. they dont know where its going #why is it my job to go 'dont worry! lions just getting his picture taken like you do at school :)) you might be able to see it if #you ask the officer very nicely at the other end of the line :))' #its 4 in the morning. dont make me do two jobs at once #vent post

[lafilleestmorte]

the thing is, toey never initiates emotional intimacy with q. he'll wonder for a year what kind of music q listens to but never even think to directly ask. he'll bug q about all sorts of tips to make his art better without revealing why he chose to pursue art at all. he'll collapse onto q's lap when he is drunk and extremely tired but won't ask to sleep next to him or even try to come up with an excuse to when he's sober. he doesn't actually ask q to come with him to the park - he asks peem and then peem asks q. toey will nag q with his tone or with his teasing or with his eyes? but never ask for what he actually wants

but even when q (or peem, or tan) takes initiative to make their intimacy possible, toey just seems happy and content to be held as close or as far as q is willing to have him.

If q came all this way to teach toey how to shade, if q is worried about toey being in the studio alone at night, if q (maybe) wants to learn how to skateboard, if q is worried about toey getting kicked off of the bed by peem, toey interprets it as exactly that and nothing more

#my boy is so neurodivergent just like me #i am wondering if he actually doesn't want to initiate the fake dating #NOT because he's scared that q doesn't care #but because he knows that q cares (in a way that is smaller and less willing) #and is scared to hurt q even that much #toey could have his entire heart broken and wouldn't even try to ask q to help #this is a Terrible situation that requires the intervention of Mom™ Chain and Co. #this also sounds like someone who truly has been bullied and is scared of expressing their wants or needs #qtoey #we are the series #q #toey #i woke up today morning and decided that my job in this hellsite will be to write qtoey angst takes and honestly??? valid of me #gmmtv 2024 #i am quite sure a significant amount of this is pure conjecture

[vanweezer]

sketchbook dump

#slipknot #joey jordison #whenever i draw older joey i gotta think ''mick. but hes tiny now'' and then im good to go #as yall can tell im in my joey feels today. the pictures of him with his kitties are doing me in #he was a FATHER to those cats #metal's most beloved old cat lady. in my opinion anyway #artings #joey #i hope yall enjoy these lol. the more i draw in my sketchbook the more im like oh yeah i could probably post that. and then i forget #ORIGINALLY it was just gonna be older joey but i figured #since when am i the type of person to not be extra? joey posting is a full time job and i gotta clock in #also you can tell that references are not my friend </3 i have yet to fully stylize slipknot but with faith trust and pixie dust #i may one day. make somethin good #one thing is for certain i got slipkneight locked and loaded to be posted when. i find the will to color them

[randomminty]

Putting my iono and grusha here as well. They’re friends for streaming reasons

#Imagine getting a good atar score and it not mattering bc none of the courses you applied for need atar #Unrelated i got my atar today :) it was v good heheheheh #For non aussie ppl atars p much a mark for how you did overall in your y12 classes its important for most unis #But it can also not matter at all bc theres other ways to go to uni! And plenty of jobs that dont need uni! Idk! #I saw people saying grusha and iono are t4t. Ofc they are #Pokemon #Gym leader grusha #Gym leader iono #Oh my god i am yet to draw an actual pkmn and not just trainers god. I promise im a real pkmn fan #Oh yeah chongoblog replied to this art on twt i nearly had a heart attack #I woke up to like 12 new replies i and 40 follows i was like!!!!!! Aaaaaaa!!!!!!! #Todays been good so far. Only thing thatd make it better is if my dream uni got back to me….. they accepted my prerequisites i see you #Art tag #Only reason i posted this was to ramble abt atar. Farewell #oh my god i never replied to any of my replies on twt. im so bad at this. i cant think of things to say sjdbowwna augh

[suntails]

protectors that will erode in time to dust

@llondonfog made the post that insp’d this here <3

#this is a shit sketch im NOT finishing this or making something nice but i needed it drawn. tumblr users do not follow suntails for good art #u follow for the ramblings in my tags. i see you. u see me. we are perceiving each other right here right now #silver thinking abt gargoyles bc malleus loves them. they protect a building they have utility. a purpose. silver is a protector it is his p #urpose too. and knowing that he can stand tall in the face of danger despite knowing that with time he'll crumble to dust just like the ston #ITS LETTIES JOB TO BE ELOQUENT NOT MINE. I JUST DRAW STUFF i am trying to laserbeam my thoughts into yalls heads is it working #spinning in circles rolling on the floor and sobbign #i like silvers pe shoes btw j saw em today for drawing this id wear them. just thought u deserved to know #<3 #twst #twisted wonderland #twst silver #diasomnia #suntails #oh also i know the gargoyle looks silly i think its hilarious. im naming him gerald

[moregraceful]

i made what was a huge medical decision today that has been received very badly by my family and i feel absolutely nothing but pure freedom and joy about it. the thing i'm really fixated on rn is when should i post this fic i just finished

#i think october 1. for halloween #it was for skelly season but it took such a weird turn in the end that i feel weird about gifting it to someone lol #very short list of people i would subject this particular rarepair agenda to on purpose. maybe just beryl #the medical decision is legitimately life-altering and i should be stressed but i'm just like it's my body. my body horror. and i'm free :) #i'm stressin way more about the fic bro #and like if i don't gift the fic do i then go back and commit to making it even weirder and rarepaired.... #stars future leadership polycule (two guys who are dating and their captain who holds their hand in high stress situations) #what am i even talking about..................... #today my boss was like thank you for your (insane 11 paragraph long) email! i used it as a meeting agenda with my boss :) #i was like oh no now my grandboss knows i use my boss's inbox as my work livejournal #i got to remake my schedule tho now that i'm almost done with my training!! i gave myself a three day weekend... #...so i can go to the therapy i need to deal with this job. was anyone gonna tell me abt secondary trauma or was i #just supposed to find that out on my literal first day of work lol #my therapist was THRILLED she was like oh i have SO many books to recommend we're gonna have SO much fun!! i was like oh no #fridays off and life is good tbh!! except for the fic. i don't know what to do abt the fic #fresno oilers.txt

[soldier-poet-king]

Being entirely open and honest and vulnerable about emotions and thoughts and odd navel gazing is disgustingly embarassing and gross and yet it is perhaps the only way to survive? It is a thing I crave so deeply in others and yet hate so much in myself? Hm

#the duality of fran #IM GOING TO BED I PROMISE #just like. peeling off layers of thoughts tonight #also Sunday scaries. but monday. bc today was holiday #i like my job and I'm still sunday scary #im nervous about it. i asked for this. to have real tasks and responsibilities #and now that i do??? that im challenged and have ample space to fuck up???? #oh death death and destruction. my poor nerves #i did this all the time in grad school. i am just out of practice in having ppl actually expect things from me #alas. itll pass

[skunkes]

experiencing a weird thing where im trying to go to sleep earlier (because im tired and sleepy) but i take so long to fall asleep its the exact same thing as just going to bed late...feel so hopeless and i always end up tired either way... im very big on "i can always try again tomorrow" mentality in any way it can be interpreted (interactions with others, mood, the amount of work i do etc) but its so hard to Try Again when you're always too tired to do anything...

#i rarely take naps...i tried to do so today and after the hour i gave myself to nap i still hadnt fully fallen asleep #im so sleepy and tired .... #even if i manage to get my personal required 9 hrs of sleep im tired.... #i dont get it...im so sleepy rn + am going to bed but i wont fall asleep until much later... #god. i also hate this bc you'd think being an unemployed homebody who cant leave his house wld mean Constant #Naps and Sleeping. i avg like 6 hrs a night i cant imagine how worse off ill be with a job #i just want to sleep...! #and feel well rested... #talkys #sorry im just very frustrated...i try to do things to better my life and health and it ends up Not Working #like whats even the point. can barely keep my eyes open but i wont fall asleep until 5 am. why not just #go to bed at 5 am then. ugh.

[lottieurl]

i'm well aware there are single parents out there working full time but i think working full time and living alone with my dog is about to put me in a psychward

#why cant i handle what other people seem to handle effortlessly lmao #im so fucking exhausted and burnt-out i need demonic possession to save me or smth #like please @ random demon you will do a better job for sure #idk its like. my dog is now spending so much time alone when im at home that i feel really guilty #if i wanna go out or do anything that doesnt involve her #i have no damn time and energy #i might spend half a free day cleaning but its all a mess anyway #and then i will come back home like today just exhausted after 5 days of work in a row #and i just wanna take her for a walk and get myself smth to eat and chill a little #and i find! is poop all over the damn floor i finally managed to wash like a day ago #and it stinks so fucking bad i nearly throw up cleaning up #and then have a breakdown in the bathroom. as you do. #HOW DO PEOPLE LIVE LIKE THIS I AM SO FUCKING EXHAUSTED #its also not fair to my dog idk this sucks so much #i doubt anyone read all this bht if you did hi and sorry #needed to vent unfortunately #wah im TIRED

[seagull-scribbles]

Mr.United States Canada Mexico Panama

#animaniacs #yakko warner #WB kids #quick doodle with my new brush #I had a big inspection today #i am so so close to getting my professional degree i can almost taste it #after 5 years i can not wait for this part of my life to be over #im doing job applications tomorrow #and then Thursday is my last assignment which is like a interview it’s just #that’ll be it #ill be done #so excited to be a teacher #so here’s one of my childhood inspirations #and as overused as the nations of the world song is every child i have shown it to adores it so #seemed appropriate

[writhe]

doing TERRIBLE

#i FINALLY slept today #like napped #my head is fucking pounding i feel so hollowed out #i’m so fucking angry #i feel like i am shutting down #and buds are staying with us again and like. my housemate came back early last week and all things considered that ended up being a good #thing but i cannot get a moment alone with more people in the house #and it’s like. i want everyone here bc that feels important but i feel so drained i don’t want to be witnessed #like just for a second. i know it’s self imposed but i don’t want to preform composure i want to languish #and do a bad job of eating and getting dressed & not have anyone know

[felizusnavidad]

so tired, so sleepy

#there will be no hamilton lyrics post today but i'm gonna answer two asks tomorrow #i'm just... fucking exhausted #working my fourth night shift in a row & i barely even get any sleep & i think i have a crisis today #and the problem is that i really like this job but i feel like i have literally no life #last month was crazy #i am always at work i fear #i barely get 4 hours for myself each day & it's only because i literally force myself to get up when i should be resting #because there's another night shift ahead #and i don't want to sleep all day so #idk #i want to cry #working 10 hours each night is probably not good for my health even if it's a well paid job #but sincerely can you hear me?*

[standfucker]

not gonna lie yall, it feels like all I do is either work or recover from work and it's bumming me out big time

#I don't have a chronic illness. I shouldn't be taking this long to recover #idk why I can't get home from work and go straight to writing #it's like I have to spend a day mustering up the will to live in the face of ongoing capitalism #it's my own fault. I would have had a two day weekend but they asked me to come in to cover someone and my clown ass said sure #I want to be pissed at the coworker who called off but it's my own fault for accepting #I had a phone interview today and I am ANXIOUS to know if they're going to bring me in for a second interview I NEED a better job #I just want a job where I dont dread going to work and also maybe get paid more than minimum wage #feeling really depressed about capitalism and working forever and knowing I'll never be able to afford a house #I WANT TIME TO DO MY HOBBIES GOD DAMN IT ;A; #also im lonely as hell. how am I supposed to go out and meet people if I'm too tired to do anything #I wanna meet someone. I wanna be loved romantically.

[goatsandgangsters]

jfc salt in the fucking wound

SO I FINALLY, AFTER FOUR YEARS, TESTED POSITIVE FOR COVID

would you like to know. the ONLY place I have gone in the entire last week. the only place?

hauling up to boston to go to my job :))) that I am leaving :)))) because of how often they make me commute to boston :))))))) the job that I just gave my two weeks notice at on monday :))))))))

#I am. so fucking pissed. #fOUR YEARS! FOUR YEARS!!! #we had a stupid ~staff retreat~ and I thought it'd be nice to go and say goodbye to people #so of course I was in a room with tons of people and i WAS MASKED but literally no one else was #also symptoms wise: I just have a killer sore throat and like. the miiiildest fatigue #I was gonna go get a strep test today and took the at-home covid test just to like. assuage my anxiety #I really didn't expect it to be positive #I also uhhh? don't know what to do? bc I want to prioritize Resting even with mild symptoms #but I just gave my fucking two weeks so it's not like I can take sick time? #and I have to wrap up almost five years at a job #OH I'M SO MAD #FOUR FUCKING YEARS #AND THEY GET ME ON THE STUPID *STAFF RETREAT* OF THE JOB I'M LEAVING *BECAUSE THEY MAKE ME COMMUTE UP FOR STUPID SHIT* #the free food wasn't even good