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#i just need to have this on my blog don't mind me
eyelessfaces · 2 days
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uncalled for
summary: you get quite upset when poe "saves" your assigned mission by giving orders to your teams without consulting you; poe is determined to fix his mistake.
warnings: (public) arguing, talks of the future; family and having kids
tags: gn!reader, angst, being parents to bb8, fluff, this ends up being real sweet tbh
word count: 1.7k
masterlist | taglist | ao3
updates blog: @eyelessupdates
(uh yeah I'm back if you even noticed I was gone lol. I might just post this and disappear again for a little longer idk but anyways I'll explain the reason whenever I'm back for good; I'm okay don't worry, and I'm still gonna post fics don't worry it's nothing too serious fr)
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It causes a disruption when you both barge into the hangar; despite the constant clattering and whirring of tools and material there, both your bitter shoutings have been overlapping the sounds ever since Poe started following you closely, right from the moment you hastily jumped out of your x wing to try to forget about the awful management of your mission that would probably cost you to never get to lead one again. 
“It was my call, not yours” you affirm bitterly, voice dripping with resentment, your steps heavy and hurried as you try to shake Poe off but he is anything if not persevering, so it only manages to piss you off even more and fuel your frustration. “I didn’t need you to save my mission or whatever,” you exclaim, causing heads to turn as you walk across the large room, barely minding what is going on around you. 
“I did because I knew it would work!” Poe tries to explain, still heeling you closely. “I wouldn’t have done it if I wasn’t sure it would be successful” he declares louder than he needs to, thrown off when you suddenly stop in your steps, turning to him.
“So you think you can make decisions for me? You think I can’t do it, can’t command a mission correctly?” you rhetorically ask, revolted, sighing a profanity under your breath before you storm off again, your steps resonating with frustration. Poe sighs and winces before he follows you again, taking a hold of your arm.
“Babe come on you know that’s not–”
You stop again, your patience running short. “You had no right to encroach on my orders, I knew what I had to do, and you stepping in with your own instructions could have blown the whole mission up!” you call out, pressing a finger to his chest. 
It’s when you finally take a moment to take a look at his face that you realize it, what is going on; you are being the center of attention, the little show everyone stopped their current task to sit and watch, your every word carefully awaited by your unwanted audience. 
You sigh softly, taking a moment to step back from the situation. “Now leave me alone before we embarrass ourselves further or before I tell you things I don’t really mean just because I’m angry and don’t wanna talk to you” you hiss softly before leaving Poe in the middle of the busy room where he watches you walk away, helplessly standing there. 
When he looks around him, most people turn away and avert their gazes to pretend they haven’t witnessed anything, and Poe is well too aware of the tension still lingering in the air even as you exit the room.
When Jessika climbs down from her ladder after watching the scene from her cockpit, BB-8 rolls over to her and chirps sadly, having observed yours and Poe’s argument from afar just like most of the hangar after his master went running after you. She kneels down to the droid’s level, giving him a sympathetic smile.
“That’s gonna be fine Beebs, they always end up figuring it out somehow” she affirms as the droid’s upper part sinks in distress accompanied by saddened beeps. Jessika can’t help but smile fondly at him and his obvious concern, at the fact that he quite literally acts like you are his parents.
A few hours have passed when Poe joins you again; you don't notice him at first, having made sure to get focused enough on your paperwork to forget about the whole situation and try to ease the frustration within you. It's only when you put your datapad down that you see him leaning against the door frame.
“You're so pretty when you're focused” he smiles gently when your eyes meet his figure, causing you to roll your eyes and reluctantly smile at his words despite your lingering frustration. 
“I’m still mad at you,” you sigh softly as you try to hide your slight smirk, gaze darting back down to enter numbers into your datapad.
He acknowledges your feelings with a nod, his lips pressed together in a tight line. “I know.” he admits, stepping into the room. “That’s why I’m here” You look back up at him, taking a deep breath as you set your datapad aside; despite the fact that everything he did since you wrapped your mission up got on your nerves, deep down you only wish for this to situation to get figured out and eventually be behind the both of you. You join him in front of your desk, leaning against it.
“I knew what I was doing. I was handling it” you affirm before he even gets the chance to do so much as open his mouth.
He holds a hand up to slow you down. “I know,” he nods understandingly. “I shouldn’t have redirected the plan, I should have trusted you. I was just afraid things would go wrong considering how it was all starting to go down so quickly” he explains. “I know I could have fucked it all up, everything you put in place so the mission could go right” you slightly tilt your head to the side in agreement. 
“And I know my move was probably a lot more dangerous than the plan you had in mind to make everything right but you know I would never put you or our teams in danger, only myself” he declares with a concerned nod, causing your expression to soften. “You, never. I would never risk it, no matter what” there’s a soft frown over his face as his eyes flicker with sincerity, his confession making your heart ache as it hangs in the air before he talks again. “And I never doubted your ability to command a mission.” 
You nod with a heavy sigh, acknowledging his apology. “I should apologize too. I shouldn't have lashed out on you like that either.” you admit and nod sheepishly, reflecting on your impulsive behavior. “I really wanted this mission to go right”
“For what it’s worth,” he starts with a small smile, trying to dissimulate a bigger one. “I talked about it with Leia and she thinks you did pretty good” his declaration doesn’t fail to draw an appreciative smile from you, one that makes him mirror your action. “And she thinks we would work great together”
“And I agree,” you reply, finally feeling a weight lift off your shoulders as the tension between you begins to dissipate. “We do make a good team.”
Poe’s smile widens, relieved to see you loosen up a bit. “Yeah, we do” he agrees with a small huff, stepping closer to you. “I just hate seeing you so worked up.”
You chuckle softly, shaking your head. “I hate getting worked up,” you scoff. 
“I’ll try to think about it twice next time,” Poe promises, reaching out to gently take your hand in his. “I don’t want to step on your toes or make you feel like I don’t trust you or your judgment.”
Your fingers intertwine with his, the warmth of his touch calming you further. “Well I’ll try not to snap at you,” you promise in return, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze as you let your head rest against his chest with a small, barely audible sigh. “Especially not in front of everyone,” you mutter, earning an amused chuckle from him. You melt into his touch as he leans to press a gentle kiss over your forehead, his hand that is not holding yours coming to wrap around you.
It is only after you pull away from his embrace and leave a chaste kiss to his lips that the corner of your eye notices a sort of spy in the corner of the door frame.
“What’s he doing here” 
Poe frowns before he turns around, huffing out a laugh when he notices BB-8 peeking out the door. “How long have you been here?” he jokingly scolds his droid that fully reveals himself now that he has been caught. “You know he doesn’t like when we fight” he softly sighs turning back to you, a mix of amusement and concern in his eyes before he looks at BB rolling over the both of you.
You shake your head, unable to suppress your smile at BB-8’s presence. “Very sweet of him to be looking out for us,” you start, reaching out to pat the droid’s dome affectionately. “But maybe he should learn not to eavesdrop.”
BB-8 chirps playfully, obviously pleased with the attention, seemingly eager to be a part of the reconciliation.
Poe chuckles, kneeling down to scratch behind BB-8’s sensor with a fond smile. “Yeah, yeah, we’ll work on that,” he says before glancing back at you with a soft smile. “He's our kid, he’s been worried sick about us, weren't you?” he turns to BB, who's beeping frantically in agreement.
You glance at him, then back at Poe, a softness settling in your chest at the sight of them together, your little family. “Our first kid, yeah” you smile softly, heart fluttering inside your chest.
“First? Meaning there's gonna be more?” Poe asks with a playful smile, getting back on his feet. He raises his eyebrows as he awaits your response, and you both laugh at the sudden change of atmosphere as Poe wraps a hand around you before pressing a kiss to your temple.
You huff out a laugh at his quick jump to conclusion, “I don't know, you're a pretty good dad to this one,” you shrug.
“A couple hours ago I was dead to you and now we're talking having kids” he laughs into your hair, a teasing tone in his voice. 
“You weren’t even close to being dead to me, you’re so dramatic Poe” you declare with a small scoff, poking his chest lightly. “That’s the reason Beebs loves you so much” you tease, making him huff out a laugh. “I’d say we should focus on surviving one parenting experience first,” you chuckle looking down at BB-8, nudging Poe playfully. “But who knows what the future holds?”
Poe grins, his eyes sparkling with excitement as his arm grasps tighter around his hold on you. “As long as I have you by my side, I'm up for anything babe.”
reblogs and feedback are extremely (I cannot stress this enough) appreciated!!
star wars masterlist: @lockleysgrl @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @alexxavicry @mystinky-butt @anightshift @whatthefishh @dameronshandholder @campingwiththecharmings @mintgreen24 @spider-starry @jakecockley @cocodiem @spxctorsslxt @friedwings @luxisluxurious @stvnnie @dowbastan @il0vebeingdelulu @hammerhead96 @unear7hly
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mc who ships the kings with their nobles (its an excuse for leviforas)
Mc that ships the shippers with their kings
Overall, I think none of them would think much of it because all the nobles seem to have a crush on their kings. They would mind if you started losing interest in their king because you percieve them to be in a relationship.
Paimon would, like always, be the chiller one about this whole thing. While he sometimes gets angry at his fellow shippers, he'll never get angry at you unless you do something really really stupid. Shipping him with Satan is just kind of silly in his view. He might humor you a bit, but he'll shortly cut all your hopes when he says that he has no romantic feelings for Satan and never will. Doesn't want to give you too much false hope, he just wishes you'll put your sights on what really matters.
Eligos would be dumpfounded. The whole interaction was like
Eligos: Mc! I'm so glad I've found you! I've prepared a nice bow for you to wear on your stroll with his majesty Mammon.
Mc: I'm sure Mammon likes ribbons a lot. I mean, with how close the two of you are... he sure has a thing for small cute things.
Eligos: Oh, he totally does! That's why I will make you the cutest being in Hell... behind me, of course.
Mc: No, don't worry. I don't want to tempt your man.
Eligos: My... what?
Mc: Come on, it's obvious that you and Mammon have athing for eachother. The way he pets your head for longer than anyone else, the way he always calls you his. I bet you have a full collection on lingerie just for him.
Eligos: I do, but no! No no no! I'm not in love with his majesty Mammon! Never!
Mc: First stage, denile
Eligos: First stage of WHAT?!?!?
Congratulation, you just broke Eligos' brain and made him take an emergency trip to Paradise Lost to get checked for whatever illness you implyied he had.
Foras gasps when he hears that and covers your mouth.
Foras: Mc, do you like breathing?
Mc nods
Foras: Good, then stop saying stuff like that. He always listens
Leviathan: Is this what you two are doing instead of sorting paperwork? The only reasons I allowed you two to stay together was because you're incompetent and Foras keeps getting distrected on his phone. I would strangle you both, but you're into it, you filth.
Foras: I apologise, great, powerful, handsome Leviathan for my wrong doings
Mc: I'm adding degredation to my newest fic
Leviathan: Don't flatter yourself a writer, I would never degrade Foras. He actually has qualities to speak of.
Foras: (I wish he degarded me as well)
Sorry, I've been too Leviathan possitive on my blog lately, I have to spread the hate
Amon would choke on his own spit. On one hand, hot, yes, he does want to get revaged by his king. On the other hand, that would be illegal because you're already with him. Amon is delusional, partly because he's starving, partly because that's just how he is. He would try to talk you out of it out of genuioun fear that he is breaking the law.
Gamigin would be repulsed. Lucifer is his brother, why would you ship him with his sibling? Please stop, he's really uncomfortable by the whole idea.
Mc: You know, I've been thinking about you and Lucifer recently
Gamigin: Really?! What about?
Mc: You'd look lovely together. He's so nice to you, I bet he likes you well enough in bed.
Gamigin.exe stopped working
Marbas: You need to leave!
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jupitercomet · 4 hours
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hey everyone! I'm sure this is the update that no one was really waiting for lol, but here it is:
it's been almost two years since I started writing on this blog and truly I am so grateful for all the things I was able to achieve and experience since then. this became an outlet for me during a time that I really needed it and almost gave me a purpose when I genuinely felt like I had no idea what I was doing. through this blog, I was able to grow as a writer and a person and I am so thankful to you all for letting me.
I think that you can guess where this is going, but over these past couple months I've realized that this blog is no longer encouraging my growth, but honestly doing the opposite. I want to make it clear that there isn't anything/anyone who caused this change - it 100% has to do with me. my interests have changed and I'm more passionate about new things that I'd like to explore more. I've realized tumblr has become an excuse to avoid my life as opposed to an occasional escape from it and is honestly hindering my ability to make my life more of what I want it to be. for lack of a better term: I think it's time I went outside and touched grass.
for the first time in a long time, I'm genuinely excited about how aspects of my life are going and, I know I don't have them figured out by any means, but I want to give myself the space and time to try. I always knew that this blog wasn't going to be a forever thing and, while I'm always going to be thankful for what it has become for me and others, I think it's served it's purpose and I'm ready to continue figuring out the person I am in a different way.
thank you to all of you for these past two years, I have genuinely had so much fun and am so grateful for how kind and welcoming you were to me. I wish you all nothing but the best and am rooting for you always!
thank you, thank you, thank you <3
-- bugs
p.s. I'm sure you've probably also seen the whole doxxing situation and the amount of people who are leaving because of it. I've already sent my messages to May and fully respect and understand anyone's decision to leave. if I'm honest, I think I made my mind up a while ago, this was just the final nail in the coffin.
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sideprince · 2 days
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I've seen the same post a hundred times now. Sometimes it's a few days old, sometimes it's from years ago, but it's always the same. Some anti posts about how they don't understand how anyone can like Snape because he was so awful, and then there's a long reply that goes something like, "imagine this happens to you, and then this, and then this" to describe Snape's experience. Sometimes there's some James Potter hate thrown in.
Look. You can go through describing a character's entire experience but you don't really need to. Here's the thing that antis don't understand:
For all her faults (and they're big, bigoted ones) Rowling understood a really integral part of the human experience and conveyed it through Snape. Everyone needs love and to feel accepted. It's that simple. Snape became a Death Eater to seek acceptance (Rowling has confirmed this, though I can't remember the source - whoever wants to add it please do), because it was the only way he could find any.
Snape's understanding of morality, like everyone's, is subjective. Some readers understand this and some don't. When faced against a morality that says there is good and bad in the world, everyone makes choices based on their personal experience. Context is everything. Someone who experiences pain and suffering will not see the person inflicting it on them as moral. That's it. 'How can this person be good when they caused me so much suffering?' = human psychology. Most of the people who think 'I'm a bad person and deserve this' have been gaslit and abused into thinking so, because it's not a natural reaction - it's one that has to often be socialized into someone at a young age, exactly because it's not natural. Everyone is the hero of their own story; no one sees themselves as a villain, because they see the valid aspects of their own perspective.
You can write essays on how vulnerable people needing acceptance is what cults and fascists exploit to recruit vulnerable people, or on how the standard anti's un-nuanced reading of Snape both ignores canon and displays a disturbing lack of empathy or compassion, but at its core it just boils down to context. From Snape's perspective he experienced cruelty, therefore the people inflicting it must be cruel. Again, it's that simple. He was a person, like any other, except he was fictional so he wasn't even real. On the flip side is James Potter, who, for all his faults, didn't get to live long enough to get a chance to change and grow unlike Snape, and I think the Snapedom also needs to acknowledge that.
They're fictional characters representing things an author wants to say, not sports teams, not martyrs, and not all good or all bad emblems that define your identity depending on how you feel about them. It's depressing how much time is wasted arguing with bullies and trolls whether from the Marauders fandom or just random antis. I literally can't find more than three blogs to follow without this argument coming across my feed daily. I know the Snapedom is Not OK™ and that's kind why we're all here, and I know that my take is super unpopular but like Snape, I don't care what others think: this fandom has been having the exact same argument for years and nothing has changed. There's fanart and meta and fic and so much content out there appreciating this character, you're not going to change an anti's mind who's deliberately trolling in the tags, so why are you trying? What are you getting out of it? What does it give you? It's exhausting just scrolling past it.
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sombrashe · 3 days
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i love ur blog!! it would be super cool if u did a norm x reader but the reader is like a wastelander/from the wastelands or something like that!!
content fluff, first kiss :3, both reader and norm are weird little things he's just more sexually inclined, gn!reader, chubby!reader
note(s) thank you so much for the kind words ;-; i hope you enjoy this !!
It's been three weeks since you joined the rag-tag group. Two vault dwellers, a ghoul, an ex-BOS member, and a wasterlander. Sounds like the beginning to one of The Ghoul's bad jokes. He calls them dad jokes but since over half of you didn't have a dad the idea was lost to the sand. Plopping down you go through your nearly empty pack.
"I think me and The Ghoul should go on a supply run."
Your voice rose to speak over the horrid wind pelting small clouds of sand into the side of the burnt-out husk of a house. Everyone looks you over and immediately starts speaking over each other to argue about the dangers of leaving into the storm. Raising a hand you let out a short shout to gain attention which works wonders.
"I've lived in this desert all my life I know how to keep sand away from my skin, I'll be fine. The Ghoul is pretty much unkillable. We need food. My pack is empty."
You try to sound reasonable. It's been days of your group being holed up in this shithole and honestly, you wanted out of there even for a little. As close as you have grown to each member of the group you barely have any time to yourself anymore.
"What if you get lost?"
"It's a small neighborhood, I'll be fine. I promise."
"You can't promise that and you know it."
Norm's voice chastises you despite his face hiding his true concern. You knew he just wanted what was best for you. Him being the one person you opened up to the most. His easygoing attitude and similar resting face made it nice to tell him about any worries. And you had a lot especially living on the surface. Something he was slowly becoming accustomed to.
"Why not take one of us instead?"
Lucy speaks up. Her eyes search your face, hoping you'll change your mind.
"The only one I would be willing to take is Max, but he's out of commission."
You point to his leg which sits propped on a toppled bookshelf. Trying to save Lucy from a radscorpion cost him a rolled ankle.
"The Ghoul is no-nonsense, he'll get us in and out, and if he doesn't... I'm sure youse guys can win a 4 v 1."
You give a wide smile showing them that you mean what you say. You just wanted to get this over with. You've been thinking about this for hours now. Watching as your already small assortment of supplies dwindled.
"Please, just let us go."
"Don't I get a say in this sweetheart?"
"No. You want 'ta find their dad as much as the rest of us. Not me, I'm here for all the warm company."
You roll your eyes and sling your pack over your shoulder. Norm stands just as quick nearly shoving you over in the process. You steady yourself against his bicep. Only for a second before you yank your hand back as a warm heat burns your cheeks. You walk around the room collecting anything you might need. An extra pair of pants wrap around your face. Nice and snug according to Lucy. Making eye contact with Norm you feel the need to look away. His eyes are so expressive and they're begging you to stay. You go to give him an awkward hug hoping to make the feeling in your stomach go away. He doesn't bite and gently untangles the fabric from around your jaw. Your goggles skew your peripheral but you know everyone is staring. You can't hear the mumbling as he leans forward. You can't even hear the wind whipping broken glass into the side of your hideout. You struggle to hear anything over the roaring of blood rushing to flood your head. Especially when his lips connect with yours. You lived a hard life and went through unimaginable pain, but this kiss, even for a moment, made you forget everything and everyone. His lips were so soft a stark contrast to the sharp broken skin of your own. Your hands lay limp at your side as you attempt to kiss back. This was all quite foreign to you but you wanted to make it work. Needed to make it work. Deep down.
"Come back to us. To me, please." He whispers directly against your lips.
Reaching up he ignores Lucy's inquisitive eyes as he gathers the untangled mess of denim. Slowly he affixes it back together and into a tight shield against the elements. He gives your cheek one quick squeeze through the thick layer. You thank the cover because you couldn't stand letting everyone see your grin even if Norm picked up on your eyes crinkling. Turning around you opt to look at the floor as you walk over to the strong oak door. Luckily the wood stayed mostly strong for these past 200-odd years with only a corner piece missing. Flinging the door open you call back to The Ghoul to hurry up as you disappear into the screaming darkness.
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tom
for the next few weeks, annie's life was very steady and predictable. she saw tom often. they went on dates, and they went back to his apartment and had lots and lots of sex. this was done with very little regard for the fact that alicia was still there -- no longer in the wheelchair, but still so unsteady on her feet that, for instance, tom had to help her in and out of the bath. annie was sure he didn't mind.
annie was loud in bed with tom, and tom was a talker. he loved telling annie what a good girl she was as he jerked off against her tongue.
tom could really fuck. annie could tell he was always paying attention to what she liked and leaning harder into it. every time they fucked she came harder or came more often, except sometimes, when tom sensed her desire to be used, and fucked her with no regard for her pleasure, leaving her to masturbate when he was done. she loved that.
alicia saw annie naked all the time -- annie had kept up with shaving her pussy, just because. but she also saw tom -- tom was not disciplined at all about closing his bedroom door, and so alicia frequently passed by as annie was blowing him or he was railing her hard from behind on the bed.
annie never saw alicia in less than her underwear, but tom told her when she wasn't around, alicia was "almost always" either bottomless or topless.
annie thought about them when, late at night she'd go home to robbie, and if casey hadn't been over to drain his balls, annie would do it on her behalf. what would tom and alicia think of this, she thought to herself as she guided robbie's cock into her pussy. it was becoming a rare thing, though, she and robbie. they both had someone they were getting serious about.
one evening, at tom's, annie and alicia got stoned while tom was out picking up dinner, and alicia asked annie if she'd help her with something delicate. "sure," annie said. "what do you need?"
"my hands are too shaky to shave my pussy properly," alicia said.
"say no more," annie said, taking her to the bathroom.
annie helped alicia shave everything, and she was dressed by the time tom got back.
"what did you two get up to?" he asked as they sat down to dinner.
"annie helped me shave my pussy," alicia said cheerily.
"really?" tom laughed.
alicia stood up and pulled down her jeans and shorts.
"nice handiwork," tom told annie.
"don't put them back on," annie told her. alicia let her shorts and panties drop.
"are we doing bottomless dinner?" tom asked.
annie stood up and pulled down her jeans and panties. "yeah." she said.
"okay," tom said. he stood up and pulled down his pants and boxers.
they laughed, sitting at the table, all bottomless.
"do you and your brother do this at home?" alicia teased.
"not specifically," annie said. "but we see each other naked constantly."
"was it always like that?" alicia asked.
"no," annie said. "i really feel like as a big sister i failed at that when we were teens. like, he should have been spying on my friends and me having lesbian encounters in the shower, right? what good is a sister for otherwise?"
"that was our aunt ellen," alicia said.
"she was the best," tom said.
they told her about ellen, her mom's younger sister, a wild, gay hippie who was in her early 20s when alicia and tom were teens. she'd given alicia weed, and had emailed tom a link to her friend's blog -- the friend was a photographer who took nude photos of ellen and her friends. tom told annie he would visit his aunt's apartment after school, and she would do things like take off her skirt and walk him through her anatomy. "she was never wearing underwear," tom said.
annie asked if she had a nice hippie bush, and tom said "no, no, she was always waxed."
"that's a very specific era of hippie," annie observed. she clocked that everyone was speaking of ellen in the past tense. she'd killed herself before her 30th birthday, alicia explained.
they walked around bottomless after dinner, enjoying the silliness and the sexiness of it. annie and tom made out on the couch and tom got hard in full view of alicia. when annie went to sit on tom's cock, he moved her to the bedroom, though.
that night, after two hard fucks, tom told annie something alicia didn't know about their aunt ellen. a few months before she died, tom said, ellen had invited him to an orgy at her apartment. tom had been 21 at the time, and had gone. "obviously," he laughed.
tom being a man of notable cock size, he'd quickly attracted attention at the orgy, which, he'd told annie -- he'd walked into in full swing already, everyone fully naked. he said there had been about 15 people there -- 6 men, 9 women. ellen had come right up to him at the door and undressed him, and then, as one of ellen's friend's sucked his cock, he'd watched his aunt fuck a man on an ottoman across from him. he said that as luck would have it, most of the men came within a few minutes of his arrival, and so for a brief time he was the only hard cock in the room, and the women had lined up to try his big shaft. he said it was obviously a record he'd never broken -- penetrating nine women in something like 10 minutes.
"wait," annie said, grinning. "all nine?"
tom smiled. "yes, all nine women in the apartment."
he said ellen hadn't even gone last -- she'd ridden him right in the middle of the group. the evening had gone on with lots more fucking and sucking, but tom had primarily spent it with two other women. but, he explained, everyone filtered out at the end of the night, and he'd stuck around. he'd taken a shower with ellen -- both of them were covered in cum. and ellen had asked him if he had ever fucked a girl in the ass, and he said no, and she'd said, "want to try?"
"she was your first?" annie said.
"yeah," he said. "and i lasted like 40 minutes because i'd already cum three times."
"that's so hot," annie said.
"i knew you'd think so," he said.
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hayaomiyazaki · 1 day
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sharing my googledrive
hello (◠‿◠)👋 over on my panel show blog, i host a googledrive of about 2tb of british comedy content that people have really seemed to enjoy over the years! i have a lot of storage available, so i figured i would do the same over here~
➤ userhayao google drive
this is a totally random assortment of about 1tb of films as well as mini/series, audiobooks, and stage plays: things i love, things i've never seen but want to, a few requests and fan faves — and i'll be adding more things regularly. i make an effort to get everything in very high quality, typically .mkv files of 1080p/2160p bluray rips, if i can :')
plenty of it is nothing particularly rare or special, but i personally think there are some real hidden gems in there, so i hope people will enjoy them!
i will also leave a link to the drive on my pinned post ^‿^
⚠️ discretion is appreciated, so of course i don't mind if the links are shared but it'd be safest for the drive if people could link back to this/my pinned post opposed to posting individual drive links! thank you in advance (◕v◕)
based on the asks i get about my other drive, here are a few notes/faq items below the cut!
— i'm streaming a film but it's in another language/commentary is on. how can i change that? i've downloaded some of these from foreign hubs, so the default audio tracks are not always the originals. googledrive doesn't support multiple audio tracks, so you'll need to download the film and switch the audio track like so:
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— what do i do if there isn't a subtitles file? almost all files have the subtitles built in, so you can turn them on like this:
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— what is VIDEO_TS and how do i watch it? a video_ts folder is a full-blown dvd! after downloading the VIDEO_TS folder, you simply drop the entire folder into your media player and it will function like a dvd with a home screen you can click on:
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— i wanted to watch _____ but it's missing from the drive. is it gone forever? i probably removed it to make room for other content. if you really need it, even temporarily, just let me know! i don't plan to remove things too often.
— do you take requests? i'm open to requests! for specific details about 🏴‍☠️ sites and resources, it's best to dm me off anon :')
— won't google...take this down? probably one day 😅 as i mentioned above, a degree of discretion is key! still, i do this on a burner email and everything is backed up, so it's no big deal. if it gets removed i'll just throw it up again hehehe
additional faq here!
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not-goldy · 17 hours
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Hey Goldy! How are you? This is just super random, but someone shared a clip of Rosebowl Jikook, and can I just say how surreal it still feels that it actually happened? People were scrambling to explain that it was completely platonic, that it was an edit, that JK didn't suck JM's ear, that it was completely normal 🙄
I've heard about a certain clip where you could see a string of saliva, and yes, I saw it. Apparently, the big screen during the concert show you front and center when that happened and how you could literally see the string of saliva from JK's mouth to JM's ear. You could even see the sucking movement.
Imagine if Jikook have partners? Imagine seeing that and being okay w/ it?? And mind you, he did after towards the end of the concert, when they're sweaty and all.
People left and right, 24/7 camping on Jikook accounts writing long-ass essays and novels to say Jikook hate each other or whatever. You don't see us camping out on say tkk/yoonmin accounts to prove they're not real, don't you? I mean, sure, we correct misinformation when you're posting lies or manipulated clips for your non-existent ships (tkk/yoonmin/etc).
Even the companion system in the military still haunts these people until now. Suddenly, everyone is a fucking expert on Korean military?? If it was any other ship, I'm pretty sure we won't be hearing a thesis on why they're not together right now, how they're doing their things away from each other? Like, what happened to critical thinking and common sense? You'd think if Jimin and Jungkook didn't want to do their enlistment together, they wouldn't go through those damn hoops, including selecting the harshest division. They'd just do what everyone else did 😩
Do you think these uncultured and unloved people (haters/antis/toxic solos/tkkrs etc) would lose their mind even more once the Jikook travel show drops? Hope it drops this June 😭
If Jikook have partners they are the most non territorial non concerned non bothered group of people on the planet cos of if Jimin or Jungkook were mine I would have them quit their careers 😩
Like you can't be stressing me out with the constant dating rumors talking bout we just friends but you coming home every night with a hickey embarrassing me on the internet begging for a man's attention a man who looks like this by the way
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Like where do I even begin to compete his ass is fatter than mine😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩
You just friends but you out here having panick attacks when he puts you on voice mail
Boy didn't even eat the dinner I made him cos he's out there cooking for another man
He doesn't laugh at my jokes the way he does his and his jokes are not even funny 😤
In his spare time he's watching vlives of him with his fans and I swear I heard him call me Jimin one time when we were making love
I need a divorce. This is not working out
It's either me or him 😩
Mother fucker chose him 😩
I don't want to over sell the travel blog I'm very very curious about it but I know it won't disappoint.
And the way Jungkook had to come out here and tell us about the one moment makes it feel all the more sus to me
Feels like a preemptive strive so fans don't make a big deal out of them sharing a bed but baby boy WE WILL
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It's jikook they send antis with into a frenzy with the barest minimum 🤭����🤭🤭🤭🤭
I won't expect anything less from those numbnuts
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To Get To You | Min Yoongi
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Request: Hii, i just found your blog and saw that you are accepting requests, could i ask for a fic where the maknaes set you up with yoongi? Kind like frenemies to lovers? Like you and yoongi are constantly bickering and the rest of the guys cannot take it anymore of how much chemistry you guys have. Rom/com kind of vibe. Wouldn't mind if it ends up having some smut 😜 Thanks!!!
a/n: I am very sorry for the delay 😫, I was very busy, I hope it was as you had imagined.
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Jin let out a long and heavy sigh, Namjoon rolled his eyes discreetly, the younger members of the group were laughing quietly together with Hoseok, and you, well, you were the cause of those expressions that became so common every time you came to pay them a visit and Yoongi was there.
You were Hoseok's best friend since you were 10 years old, you were there for him through thick and thin, so it was almost impossible for you not to become close to his other group mates, except for Yoongi of course. It's not that you hated him, and you didn't think he hated you either, it's just that… there was something about him that made you bring out the worst in yourself, and vice versa.
You still remember the first time you met him. It was the same day of BTS's debut, you had bought the most expensive ticket, all to support your beloved Hobi. You had managed to sneak backstage so you could give your friend some water, you could feel his nervousness from your seat. However, the rest of the members still didn't know you, which is why, when Yoongi saw you smuggling in too suspiciously and placing a bottle of water in his best friend's bag, he almost kicked you out.
The two of you started arguing, you even went so far as to roll up your shirt sleeves, ready to bring out your brawling side. Luckily for you, Hoseok arrived just then, and it didn't take him long to hug you tightly and thank you for coming. Yoongi still remembered your smirk of superiority and your middle finger rising in his direction.
"Let go" you growled under your breath, holding up a piece of meat with your chopsticks, "I took it first."
"My chopsticks are under yours, it was me who took it first" Yoongi's eyebrows furrowed, his body leaned towards you, both of you were sitting together at Hobi's insistence.
"Liar!" this time you leaned towards him, there was barely an inch of separation between your noses. Perhaps if you hadn't been so busy thinking about food, you might have noticed the blush on Yoongi's cheeks and his slight tremble on his lips. "You should be a gentleman and give it to me."
"Guys," Jimin said mockingly, resting his chin on both hands. Jungkook and Taehyung were trying to stuff their mouths with food so they wouldn't say something out of place, last time they spent over half an hour listening to both of them yelling at you that you guys definitely had nothing in common and would never, not even in the most horrible dreams they had, be in a relationship. "Why don't you just break it in half? There's no need to argue over a piece of meat."
"It's not just any piece of meat, it's the piece of meat" this time you turned to Jimin, pointing at it with the tip of your index finger, "I studied it before I grabbed it, there's almost no fat on it, and it's at its best doneness, plus it's perfectly seasoned. It's just a matter of looking at it to know it will be delicious."
"Sorry I was late, it was rush hour and everything was packed, barely made it out of the subway."
The eight of them turned around at the same time, meeting the big smile of Soyeon, an old friend of Jungkook's and Jimin's current partner. You almost choked on your own saliva at the sight of her.
You two got along very well, you had even gone out on a few occasions just the two of you. Soyeon was an extremely beautiful and feminine girl, she fit in too well with Jimin. She was quite outgoing and caring, and would always talk to you to see how you were doing or if you needed help at your restaurant. Yes, she could have been an amazing friend if it weren't for the fact that she had the same bad habit as Jimin.
"Oh, don't tell me," she covered her mouth with her hand, staring at you. A shiver ran down your spine. You could see the evil behind his eyes, "Were you and Yoongi planning to feed each other? I never thought you would accept your love for each other so soon, I would give you at least another three months."
"I was giving them until about two more," Jimin said with a chuckle, getting up from his chair to help Soyeon sit down.
"I wasn't feeding him!" you hurried to say, dropping the chopsticks and looking at the wall, completely avoiding Yoongi could see how embarrassed you were. This is why you hated being in the same room as these two.
"It's okay, sorry, sorry" Soyeon shared a sympathetic look with Yoongi, who took the opportunity to grab the piece of meat that had caused such a fuss.
The topic of conversation quickly changed thanks to the help of Jimin's girlfriend. She diverted attention to some dramas she had been having at her job and, to your surprise, it worked quite well. Sometimes you were impressed by how curious and gossipy these guys could be.
Out of the corner of your eye you could see how a piece of meat covered with a lettuce leaf stood on your plate. You couldn't help but smile, mentally repeating to yourself that, ultimately, that smile wasn't because of Yoongi's gesture, but because of the fact that you won the fight.
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"Are you sure you're okay?" shouted Soyeon close to your ear. The music in the bar was too loud and you could barely hear your own thoughts. The pain in your head didn't help much either, how many drinks had you had?
"I think so" you tried to shout back, but a loud retch interrupted you.
You covered your mouth and ran as fast as you could to the bathroom on the second floor, leaving Soyeon behind.
Right after you disappeared down the stairs, Jimin appeared next to Yoongi, both of them were trying to communicate loudly between drunken laughter and clumsy steps. Suddenly, an idea lit up Soyeon's head and, mentally apologizing to you -along with a plea for you not to kill her when you had self-awareness- she approached the boys.
"Yoongi! Jimin!" She raised her hand to let them both know where she was, there were a lot of people among the three of them.
"Yeon?" muttered Jimin, pulling Yoongi so he could hear her better, "What happened?"
"It's Y/N" she shouted, pointing at the staircase, "Looks like she drank too much and feels really bad."
Both Jimin and Soyeon smiled as they noticed Yoongi's worried grimace, who was too distracted watching the ladder to notice their complicit looks.
"I meant to go help her, but she's a lot taller than me, and I don't think I can take-" Soyeon interrupted herself as she noticed Yoongi handing her glass to Jimin and hurrying past the people to climb up the stairs, "Wow, that was faster than I thought."
Jimin nodded in agreement, smiling as he watched his Hyung run after you. Despite all the teasing and teasing he and the guys were giving Yoongi, everyone knew that you made him happy, in a very strange way, and he couldn't help but get excited to see how he cared about you.
You leaned your head against the bathroom wall, flushing the toilet awkwardly. You were disgusted by the sight of your own vomit. You closed your eyes, your whole body was weighing you down and all that was going through your head was to take a good drink of water and lie on your bed next to your cat.
"Y/N?" You opened your eyes again, about to insult whoever interrupted your beautiful silence. It was Yoongi, though he looked much more worried than usual, "God, you look awful" he muttered, coming over to you and taking your arms carefully so he could lift you up. He paled almost instantly as he saw you start to retch.
He hurried to carry you to the toilet, resting your weight on it. He averted his gaze the moment you expelled all the alcohol you had drunk.
Despite being too out of yourself, you could swear Yoongi's cold hands were holding your hair and caressing your back gently. Yes, you were definitely too drunk.
"Gross" you whispered, flushing again, letting Yoongi help you up, "Sorry, did you want to use the bathroom?"
Yoongi ignored your question, slipping one of his arms behind your back and the other behind your knees, carrying you like a princess. You couldn't help but laugh as you felt him lift you up.
"Yoongi-ah is very strong, she can carry me even when she's drunk" you joked, letting your head fall back, watching as the rest of the guests danced energetically. Before closing your eyes and falling into the arms of Morpheus, you watched as Soyeon and Jimin gave you both a thumbs up and dismissed them with a big smile, but you didn't have time to think about that, as soon as Yoongi opened the door, you were completely unconscious.
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You wrinkled your nose as you smelled a familiar scent, but almost instantly groaned in pain. You could feel a kind of unbearable hammering in your head, besides the burning in your throat and the heaviness in your eyes, right now even breathing hurt.
"I'll never drink again in my life" you growled in a raspy voice, letting your arm fall over your eyes.
"I wouldn't say that if I were you."
You sat up almost automatically in bed, regretting it immediately. Grimacing, you grabbed your head with both hands, cringing and throwing yourself sideways onto the bed again. It was then that you realized who the scent was that you had smelled when you woke up. It was the same perfume Yoongi wore.
"Be careful, you drank too much yesterday, you might get a headache if you move so abruptly" Yoongi murmured calmly, setting down a tray in front of you.
"No shit, genius" you groaned sarcastically, sitting down again, but this time more slowly.
You took the opportunity to look around Yoongi's room. You had never been in his house, much less his room. It was quite nice, and yes, it had the name Yoongi on every corner of it. If your throat hadn't been sore, you probably would have laughed.
"Here," he held out a pill and a glass of water, his gaze fixed on you.
"W-what is it?" you looked at his hands and what he held between them. You were aware that they were probably for a hangover, but you still found it hard to believe. He was the first guy to offer you such kind treatment after drinking half a bar, this obviating Hobi, of course.
"I thought you might have a pretty nasty hangover" he sighed, taking your hands and setting the things down on them, "Drink them with plenty of water, you might get a sore throat if you don't." He rubbed his hands on the jeans he was wearing. For a second you thought he was nervous. "Make yourself at home, you can use the shower if you want, I also have change of clothes that Hobi brought in the morning, if you want to dress in something more comfortable."
"Thank you" you murmured, watching him leave the room. For the first time since meeting him you felt nervous around him.
You shook your head at such a thought. It was Yoongi, fucking Min Yoongi, who you yelled at, pushed and shoved and picked on almost daily, to think of him like that was… impossible.
You repeated that to yourself as you took the pill he had brought you, as you ate the breakfast he had bothered to bring to your bed, as you guiltily made his bed for having stolen it from him last night, as you showered, as you dressed, even as you walked towards him with your party bag in one hand and clothes in the other.
"Sorry for the inconvenience" you whispered crestfallen. You didn't even quite remember how you got here, you thought he probably paid your cab fare and had to carry you, that idea made your stomach tingle and you definitely didn't want to dig into it.
"Don't worry, are you feeling better?" Yoongi turned to you with a smile that made your heart skip a beat.
"What do you care?" you stammered, feeling your cheeks heat up. You didn't like this overly friendly side of him. You pulled your clothes closer to your chest, pressing them against it in a failed attempt to control your heartbeat. You cleared your throat, feeling embarrassed for acting this way after he had taken care of you in the early morning, "Thanks for the help, even though I didn't ask for it" you stood for a few moments in silence, both of you sharing glances. Yoongi was sitting on the edge of the couch in your living room, his elbow was resting on the arm of the couch, and in turn his chin was resting on his hand. He was staring at you, his face just as calm as ever.
"Y/N" he mumbled, narrowing his eyes, "don't you remember anything that happened last night?"
"What are you talking about?" you cocked your head to the side, furrowing your eyebrows. You tried to remember something, but beyond the vomit and waking up in Yoongi's bed, your memory was empty, "Did I throw up your clothes?" a grimace of horror came across your face, if you had, you were ready to dig a hole under the ground and bury yourself in it.
Yoongi just shook his head, turning his eyes back to his TV, "Forget it, it's nothing" he picked up the remote control and brought it close to his mouth, resting it lightly against his lips.
You turned away almost immediately as soon as you realized how much you were looking at her mouth.
"Whatever, I'm leaving now" you shouted from the doorway, getting out as fast as your legs would let you. You didn't know what was happening to you, but you didn't like it at all.
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"Jiwon, I'm serious, this is serious" you folded your arms, watching as Jungkook laughed out loud while Jiwon tied her hair in a high ponytail.
"Y/N, I've already told you several times, not just because your heart is racing you will go into cardiac arrest" Jiwon took control of Jungkook's hands and looked at him with annoyance, "And you stop laughing, or else you'll sleep in one of your Hyung's house."
"Sorry, sorry," Jungkook said with laughter, hugging Jiwon and kissing her right cheek, "I promise I'll show you mercy in this match."
"Stop flirting!" you threw yourself on the bed behind them, grabbing a pillow and hugging it tightly.
As the sound of the game timer began to play, Jiwon's slightly gravelly voice echoed in the room.
"Okay, okay, tell me what you have, I don't have anything like to give you a check up, but I could try to give you a pre-diagnosis" she murmured concentrating on the screen.
"It all started about two weeks ago, after I woke up in Yoongi's house" you mumbled, trying to remember everything that happened.
"Wait, why were you at Yoongi's house?" Jungkook, knowing that his girlfriend would look at him after asking that question, shrugged, completely oblivious to the situation. It didn't matter to him as much as beating her at the game.
"Oh, it's just that I'd had too much to drink that night, and since he didn't know my address, he let me stay at his place, but that's not the point" you sighed, settling back to look at your friend's blonde hair, "Ever since that day I've been having problems."
"What kind? Maybe it was because of how much you drank."
"I don't know. Every time I remember about that night my stomach feels like it's squishing or something" you wrinkled your nose, shaking your head at how horrible it made you feel to remember that feeling, "My heart also gets too fast, like it's racing, and sometimes I even stop breathing for a few seconds" you closed your eyes, remembering the smile Yoongi had given you just before you left, how her lips touched the tip of the remote control. "My body temperature suddenly changes, even my face turns red from the heat I feel."
You hadn't realized until then that they had both stopped playing and were looking at you in surprise. You looked at them in confusion, the thought that it was indeed something serious made your stomach churn.
"Y/N" Jungkook muttered, turning completely around and resting his hands on the bed, "do you like Yoongi?"
You remained silent, not because you didn't want to answer, but because you were surprised that he thought that. Of course you didn't like him, it was the opposite, you hated him, that's why you always fought, for that very reason you had learned the things he likes and the things he hates, to annoy him back, just like he did with you.
"Of course he likes it, we all knew that," Jiwon gently tapped Jungkook's shoulder, turning to look at you, "Right?"
"I don't… he's not…" you swallowed saliva, trying to find the right words, but you couldn't, a lump in your throat kept you from saying you didn't like him, you didn't even feel attraction for him, did you? Because it was always about you hating each other, about others claiming how you probably liked each other, just that.
"Y/N?" Jiwon walked over to you, sitting down next to you and smiling sympathetically as she noticed how complicated you were with the question, "I think you just answered yourself."
"But I haven't said anything yet" you mumbled, looking at Jiwon nervously. You didn't want to accept what she was saying.
"Look" she rested one of his hands on your lower back, her smile still there, "everything you mentioned is what one feels when they're attracted to someone and, if we're being honest, you and Yoongi usually have quite a bit of chemistry in your so-called fights."
"He doesn't feel the same way about me" you finished saying, you knew that with that comment it could be understood that your answer to Jungkook's question was a yes, but that wasn't what you were worried about, what would you do if these two were right? How would you tell Hobi that you hooked up with his best friend? What would you do if you let it slip that you like him and you end up making Yoongi and consequently everyone else uncomfortable?
"There's only one way to find out," Jiwon said with a chuckle, nudging you on the arm, "you know how the saying goes, he who doesn't risk, doesn't win."
"And in case I turn you down, you can come with us" Jungkook came towards you from behind, hugging you tightly. You couldn't help but smile at the sight of his buck teeth.
"Thanks, guys" you murmured, hugging you both.
"Don't even think it'll be free, you'll have to cook us a delicious lunch for a week."
You laughed as you felt Jungkook whimper at the blow Jiwon had given him. You couldn't help but wonder if you and Yoongi could ever have a relationship like theirs.
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You checked yourself in the mirror for the fifth time that night. It had been two months since your conversation with Jiwon, two months in which you paid attention to Yoongi's attitude towards you, in which you remembered the moments you were together-which were many more than you thought. You took that time to think about your feelings, organize your ideas and plan how you would bring him to your restaurant.
It was in those months that you realized how kind he had always been to you. Yes, it was true that you were insulting and annoyed most of the time, however, in almost all of those memories you had of him, he acted much nicer than you felt at the time.
One of those times was here. On the opening day of the restaurant the guys had a live performance, they were at their best, it was impossible to change the date. That day you cried alone in the bathroom of the venue because you couldn't have your best friends here to celebrate with you. It was that same night, some time after you finished all the comfort of the bathroom by blowing your nose and wiping your face, that Yoongi appeared covered up to his ears with a big bouquet of flowers and many gift bags that he left on one of the tables.
You remembered how he approached you and stretched the bouquet to you while mumbling a "You look awful, you're lucky no one else came", you cried even harder when you heard him say that, still, you hugged him tightly, sobbing as you felt him pat your back and recommended you to make friends who had more free time so they could celebrate with you. You also remembered how he agreed to eat from the dinner you had made for them, and you accepted the gifts-which he had told you were part of the rest of the members. Secretly, you were thankful that he had had the surgery just that week, because it was the first time you were alone together, it was the first time you really started to feel something for him.
"Ah, it's been so long since I'm been here."
You almost had a heart attack when you heard Yoongi's voice coming from the entrance. You looked at yourself one last time, you weren't super dressed up, but you were formal enough to understand that you meant business. Besides, those black elephant foot pants looked too good on you.
"Yeah, I seem to remember I had banned you" you joked, fiddling with the button on your shirt sleeve, "I thought you'd be later."
"You told me it was something important" you mumbled, "how could I keep you waiting?"
You don't know how you managed to hold back the urge to thump your chest and throw yourself on the floor, but you were glad you had such good willpower.
"Yes," you nodded, wiping the sweat from your hands on your pants. You didn't know how to bring up the subject.
"Do you like someone?" Yoongi pulled out one of the chairs and sat in it, his gaze fixed on you, on your every move.
You hated his ability to be so calm, though of course, he wasn't the one who was going to propose. "How did you know?" you asked, moving closer to him.
"Soyeon once told me that women tend to dress up more when they like someone" he whispered. The atmosphere was calm and quiet enough that you could hear him without fuss, "and it's the first time I've seen you so well groomed."
You almost hit him when you heard it. You had only tied your hair back.
"Why do you want to tell me? I thought we were on bad terms, or am I wrong?"
"No," you said firmly, taking a step closer to him. Your heart felt like it was going to burst, you hated not being able to have control over him, "Yes I do" you swallowed spit, looking down at him from above. You could tell his eyes were darkening slightly.
"Then what did you call me for?" he sighed, trying to get up, but being immediately stopped by you.
You rested your hands on his shoulders and pushed him down hard, forcing him to stay and listen to you.
For the first time in the night you could notice how his calm countenance transformed into one full of surprise. You squealed inwardly as you saw his pale cheeks tinge pink.
"I called you just because I loathe you" you murmured, inwardly praying he didn't notice the tremble on your lips, "I always did, from the beginning. I hate how you always listened to every single thing I said, how you learned my likes and dislikes and the things I detested; how every time we all went out together you remembered those things and left me the parts I liked the most; I hate how you came to my graduation together with Hobi with the excuse that you didn't want to leave him alone with someone like me; I hate how whenever I felt lonely you noticed and came after me" you swallowed spit, feeling your eyes burn as you watched Yoongi's face turn redder and redder. "But most of all, I hate how you made me hate you so much to the point of making me fall for you."
You both fell silent, you could tell how Yoongi was intending to speak, but it seemed like the words wouldn't come out on their own.
You remembered that day with Jungkook and Jiwon, you had reacted exactly the same.
"You can break up if it bothers you" you said with a trembling voice, grabbing Yoongi's shirt and pulling him towards you, bringing his lips together with yours. You didn't intend for it to be long, you just wanted him to know that you meant it, that you were serious.
It was only for a few seconds, you pulled away from him, looking into his dark eyes. You took a breath and, with the confidence you still had inside you, you told him, "You didn't pull me away."
"You asked me to if it bothered me" he murmured, taking your chin between his thumb and forefinger and pulling you close enough to kiss you back.
This one was much longer and more passionate, you even got to feel your breath catch and your legs start to tremble. Luckily, Yoongi seemed to notice that and pulled you to him so he could sit you on his lap.
"Y/N" he whispered against your lips, his gaze swapping between your mouth and your eyes, "I like you too."
A huge warmth greeted your heart as you heard his statement accompanied by a huge, bright smile.
"Yes" you nodded vigorously, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and hiding your face in his neck.
You never thought you would feel so comfortable next to him, but you definitely didn't regret anything.
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Masterlist.
20 notes · View notes
skrunksthatwunk · 5 months
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aurghhh ok still rewatching '97 and the way guts and casca only have the room to breathe and really come to understand and care for each other in griffith's absence because he has such a strong hold over them both.... and the way their mutual dedication to him is what causes them to bicker for years (casca thinks he's not serving him well enough, guts thinks she doesn't get that he cares/how much he cares, casca's jealousy over griffith's feelings for guts, how he won his heart without even trying or being aware of it or doing anything with it) and is also a big part of what brings them together (earlier when guts deviates from the plan to save griffith and she commends him, in the cave casca opening up about griffith and her's past, showing that vulnerability, while it's mostly confrontational, leads to guts kinda getting her better, and his efforts to save and protect her (falling off the cliff with her, taking on the 100 men so she can escape, encouraging her to return to griffith so she can help him because it's what she feels she's meant to do (her dream, the direction in life guts shares and yet is questioning because of griffith's speech at the fountain, whether or not it's enough to serve him if it means he'll never be a true friend in griffith's eyes because he's not an equal), supporting the idea of her being with griffith/being his most important person like he won't because he doesn't view it as a competition like she has been since day one) leading to her realizing that he's kind of not that bad a guy and they have a lot more in common that she thought. and how the bonfire of dreams conversation is guts opening up to her in kind, the answer to her talking about how griffith saved her, how she feels. how neither of them ever call it love but it's something they know they both have for griffith. how it's something they're beginning to have for each other, different in ways they couldn't put a word to. because they're equals this time. the way griffith kind of becomes less and less important as they find other reasons to live and fight, as they become less singularly obsessed with him. how griffith is unable to stand it, guts' personhood, that agency and peer-to-peer equality he claimed to want (and perhaps truly did) that disappeared guts from his life, his plans, his side. how it barely even matters to griffith how casca changes because he never wanted her like she wanted him. god i can't fucking stand their shakespearean nonsense drama (<- hopelessly in love with their interpersonal dynamics)
#god they're the only healthy part of this unholy mind-palace love triangle/throuple aren't they#they could have been the worst qpr/throuple in your social circle. like just insufferable when they're not getting along#if griffith hadn't [oh god oh fuck oh jesus christ] all over everything even remotely good in his life anyway#poor casca's in love with a gay man and then falls for his not-quite-boyfriend and when not-quite-boyfriend reciprocates said gay man fucki#g. Does The Eclipse Stuff. at least partially to get back at you two. oh my godd#i'm sorry i'm so not normal about them. it's starting to leak out into the blog bc i'm finally having a Berserk Moment since starting tumbl#but whewwwww. gotta get this outta my system#hope this wall of text makes sense oops <3#berserk#berserk 1997#how do i even tag their thang. their disastrous just horrible agonizing 3 guy dynamic. hm.#gutsca#griffguts#don't even know if anyone tags for griffith and casca. fair because 1) he raped her. yikes 2) he just straight up isn't into her#and i don't know if there's a tag for the three of them but trial and error led to nothing#but i wanna talk about their dynamic. their. (gestures wildly) whatever. it's not about thinking griffith should kiss anyone it's about lik#the agony. the pining and the torment and whatever miura so beautifully crafted for me specifically. sheesh#hope it's clear that i Don't Want Them To Be An Uwu Little Polycule Bc Casca Should Not Be In A Cutesy Throuple With Her Rapist#it's more that i think they kind of are or almost are part of this (gestures wildly again). Thing. with each other and i wanna talk about i#same with griffguts like oh man they should NOT be in a relationship. but i have this deep intense Need to study them and frankly they're#kind of crazy about each other for a while. like they care about each other so so much it's crucial to all three of their characters.#so it's kind of unavoidable. and i wanna talk about it. and have this read by people who also want to talk about it. yeah? yeah.#(and yeah i think griffith raping casca was about her and guts. like 'fuck you for making him okay with leaving me' type of vibe. even#though it wasn't her fault he's just. god. but it sure as hell isn't Mostly about casca because griffith's making eye contact like the Whol#time with guts. he makes him watch. it's just. shooooooooooo aughhhhghhghh fucking. jesus christ. that or it's the fear that his two most#important pawns are going to leave him Together and he just. can't deal with that. especially after the torture internment thing.#he's so weak and he was so close to his dream and now it's falling apart and they're leaving him and he can't even move. it's about making#damn sure they can't escape him or forget him ever again.#or maybe it's even a 'you can't have her she's mine' to guts but it's still largely like. spiteful/about possessing her as a soldier/human#because i don't think you could convince me it's about having her as a lover or about controlling/hurting/possessing her body.)
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revenantghost · 8 months
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To all the first-time readers of Trimax volume 10 who saw this/will see this and think, "I dun wanna ):<" Well... mood!
My first time through, I was so close to just dropping it after this point. But luckily I pushed through and used the forward momentum to keep reading because there are so many good moments to keep reading for. What will happen to Vash? What will happen to Knives? Will we get to know Livio/Razlo more? What about the rest of Team the Stampede, what happens to them? What are they even up to right now??? Not to mention, there are still a couple of other major characters to meet! Volume ten, for me, was by far the roughest to read out of any volume. It hurts so much to absorb, and as someone who loved Wolfwood deeply, just like any grief, it's hard to see the point in moving forward.
But I promise there is so much more to come, and it's worth it, or else I wouldn't have started @trigunbookclub
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roitaminnah · 1 year
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posting this aggie drawing i made like an hour ago because it's making me laugh a lot. featuring miniature diyamin by my best friend balls-on-my-face
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Jeremiah Fisher | tsitp 1.06
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leftdestiny-posts · 3 months
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Most people would describe me as "kind", and yet they say it as if it's a wrong thing, telling me I am too kind, but if I'm not, do I have any qualities left? I really want to be a funny person, or a witty one, someone curious and courageous, or someone enthusiastic with whom you can have fun with. But at the end of the day I'll be "kind", and I'm not sure when I've come to resent that
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rotisseries · 6 months
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how I've been feeling lately to be real🤪
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katyspersonal · 7 months
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#personal#internets#at this rate I've unfollowed both of the kinda.. 'controvercial' blogs I've been following#since there was a good chunk of actually good takes about how bad media is now and society and braindead internet 'activists' that-#-had it too good in their western countries and NEEDED to invent the reason to bully and excile people#could honestly resonate with it despite some other posts causing genuine pain. but mostly about terribly handled media#like you know that thing when corporations do terrible ass rep to pretend that they care for minorities#or artificially fabricate online backlash against their new actors to show investors that people show interest for their product because-#-of all the clicks on their article?#like discussion of this kind sorta keeps me sober#as a person with BPD I get contaminated by opinions VERY easily and as an autist I will believe everything if it is put together 'logically#that's why I HAVE to be exposed to every possible opinion so I am forced to make out my own rather than being swayed anywhere#but at this point those blog became kinda.. bad? like they don't just have 'opinions' but they hate just to hate#but now my dashboard and recs are full of exclusively things I can fully agree with and I am scared that it will rot my brain#like.. emotions are always the same. where is the 'wait WHAT' effect? where is anger? where is self-reflection?#but ALSO I realized that 'those' blogs are no better than those western 'warriors' I despise and they become narrow-minded too in the end#they advertise themselves as 'open to debate' only to always sway debate into trying to win and not into actually discovering the truth#I cannot trust any side because they're all narrow-minded and hostile but I cannot trust people without any side because-#-they're fence-sitters without morals that side with the winner#is there a secret third thing? like is there a way to not take a side but to still HAVE ideals and opinions?#my problem is that if I am not exposed to people that trash everything I value I forget why AM I valuing [a thing] to BEGIN with#and that won't do will it
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