#i really wish i could fix it but like i... can not

[shiki-jin]

YOUR CELESTIAL MAJESTY • SAGAU

(part 0 here)

was listening to TruE on loop while writing the last part of this, it's genuinely such a good song ugwvdya

also can you spot the contradiction ;D it's plot relevant i promise

not proofread, dont bully me ill write a thesis on why youre a meanie

—

you had long deleted genshin, since you had other things to do. you had wanted to go back to the game for a while now, now that you were less busy, but there was just one little problem.

it was now taking up nearly triple the amount of space that it was when you uninstalled it. around 300 whole gigabytes.

jesus christ, what phone can even handle this???

your phone, apparently. because as you opened the game to see if maybe a miracle would happen and that if maybe they would just, like, remove half of the things in the game, it just… kinda loaded?

no installing new files, no checking for anything, no nothing…. just an immediate pan to the gates of celestia.

you decided to check if it was the right genshin since this was just way too weird, but countering your judgement, every link you found led you to the same game, leading you to believe it not to be a bootleg or an illegal version.

guess i’ll trust it then.

you clicked on the gates which opened smoothly, and your screen turned white. then, the symbols of the seven elements appeared in gray.

and then the game just… opened. no loading time, once again. no getting stuck on the geo symbol, nothing. nada. just a smooth entrance into what you had to assume to be teyvat — but your surroundings didn't really support that claim.

the grass was brown and just looked off, the sky was gray. a darker shade than, say, mond’s walls, but it was like one of those game crashes.

well, except you could still move around.

you moved your current character around (the traveller? since when were they the only one in your team?) and decided to open the map after not figuring out where you could possibly be.

hold on, this is springvale? since when?

eveything looked dead, like it had been rotting for a century. you tried to ignore it though, and teleported to the inside of mondstadt. surely this was just some glitch, right? one that would fix itself if you teleported?

maybe the world loaded incorrectly, maybe the fact that nothing took time to load meant that it couldn't load, maybe this or that, maybe…

maybe this really was how the game looked normally. you hadn't done any quests though, so you wondered if it could be restored.

you took a screenshot of the your surroundings — the stone, worn down and dirty. the houses which looked to be in a horrible state, and… the npcs, all sickly and pale, like they were starving.

you went to reddit (yes, reddit), and posted the screenshot, asking if it was normal.

you closed the game and decided to take a nap, too tired to really deal with this shit any further.

while you slumbered, people replied to your post.

╰┈➤ lol me too anon, me too

╰┈➤ isn't the game closed or wtv? how'd you get this wtf

╰┈➤ they're trolling

╰┈➤ o makes sense oops

╰┈➤ So we’re all still mourning huh

╰┈➤ jokes aside that's a super impressive edit ngl

you remained unaware of the truth, but you'd find out soon enough.

actually, you'd find out now, apparently…

what the fuck?? why is my bed so hard now?

you groaned and forced your eyes open, seeing a dark, nearly black sky.

the only light was a single star, lingering right above you.

“since when was i outside...?"

a voice spoke to you, answering your question.

“you always have been, have you not? but would you like to head inside, my lord?”

... huh? i recognize that voice...

—

p.s. place your bets on who it is, i’m thinking of one specific character but if there's a fan fav i'll make it them instead since i haven't written anything beyond this point (⁠・⁠_⁠・⁠;⁠)

p.s.s. don't expect updates to this series too quickly, i wish i could write as quick as i think of ideas but sadly that's not the case orz

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #sagau #yandere x reader #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin x reader #yippie #genshin self aware #genshin self aware au

[funhouse-mirror-barbie]

So I actually really enjoyed the little HB short with Millie and Sallie Mae.

I thought it was cute and it was breath of fresh spring air to get some scenes with JUST woman characters interacting and talking about their relationship.

That said, after watching, it just made me realize how much I want an ACTUAL episode exploring Millie and her background.

At the end of the short we get that brief conversation about Sallie Mae seeming to feel left behind when Millie moved to the city, and that honestly should have been the plot of the harvest moon festival imo.

Little reimagining of how Harvest Moon Festival could have used the basic premise/conflict in Hell’s Belles to develope Millie more and give us a better insight into her character. (Also after typing all of this out I realized I misspelled Sallie May’s name, and I’m too tired to go back and fix it please do not bully me rip 😭🪦)

So, Instead of having Moxxie compete with striker, what if we’d learned that Millie left home because she had an inferiority complex due to constantly being compared to Sally Mae, who could be the “golden child” of the family.

Maybe Sally Mae and Millie have always had a really fierce sibling rivalry, and Millie has struggled a lot with measuring up to her sister.

Striker could be not only the new farmhand, but Sally Mae’s new boyfriend. Instead of the conflict being Moxxie’s feelings of inferiority to Striker, further tension could come from Millie being upset that her parents are so accepting of Sally Mae’s partner while not approving of her’s.

Millie could be the one to find Striker’s assassin gear, and Striker manages to knock her out like he did Moxxie. Instead of Moxxie stabbing Striker like Millie did in the actual episode, it’s Sally Mae who catches Striker and stabs him to try and save her sister. The way this could be set up could also be a nice establishing character moment for Sally Mae—she’s dating Striker, but the moment she sees her sister in danger she doesn’t hesitate to try and save her sister.

Striker throws Sallie Mae and Millie into the basement, and Sallie Mae is the one to get her leg in the bear trap.

They have a sister heart to heart, where Millie expresses her frustration for not being able to take Striker out on her own and feeling like she’s always been in Sallie Mae’s shadow.

Sallie Mae could then reveal that she’s always been jealous of Millie for being her own person and going against their parent’s wishes by striking out on her own moving to Imp City. Maybe Sally Mae has always been afraid of disappointing their parents, but wishes she could also leave the farm. Or Idk, maybe she’s always been the “golden child” because she’s been trying to impress Millie, and not their parents, because she admires her sister. There’s a lot of different sibling rivalry/insecurity conflicts and dynamics that could be used here.

The main point is that they come to an understanding in the basement, Sallie Mae gives Millie a pep talk and lets her know that she can do this and take down Striker.

Millie escapes the basement and the episode plays out like it does in the actual show. Instead of Millie getting talked down to her parents at the end, it’s Sally Mae, and when they criticize Sally Mae for getting hurt and try to praise Millie for getting out of the basement and chasing Striker away with Blitzø, Millie stands up for herself and her sister, stopping her parents from pitting the siblings against each other like they did in the past.

The sisters leave on good terms and the day is saved or whatever. They hug goodbye, and promise to stay in touch more and visit soon.

This could potentially help set up the idea of Millie having an inferiority complex and struggling with not believing she’s important that, in my opinion, comes out of absolutely nowhere in “Unhappy Campers”. If it’s established early that Millie has always struggled with feeling less-than in comparison to Sallie Mae and her siblings, it makes a lot more sense that she’d be so excited with the attention she receives in Unhappy Campers. And that she’d be extra upset by Moxxie’s lack of support.

Also for anyone asking “what about moxxie” idk. helluva boss loves their b and c plots so maybe there could be a slapstick bit where Millie’s brothers keep trying to wrestle Moxxie, so Moxxie is always hiding from them or getting tackled by them. Or maybe Moxxie could be really excited to try and bond with Millie’s family and get to know them more, so he keeps trying to connect with them in different awkward ways. Whatever. This is Millie’s episode now, I don’t care what moxxie does.

This is a very very basic re-imagining, and it’s definitely been done before and can be cliche. I want to make it really really clear that I’m NOT writing this out as a “fix-it”.

More of just a “what-if” and wishing about what may have been in terms of Millie getting more character development in the show proper, instead of getting a tiny bit of development and background info in a 5 minute short.

It’s just a shame because I’d love to have more concrete development for Millie. The short gave us a LITTLE insight into her and Sallie May’s characters, but it feels like we’re still being given crumbs about who Millie is as a character after a season and a half.

We should know more about her by now other than “likes violence/is good at fighting” and “is cheerful”. And also feels unimportant sometimes even thought she’d never given any indication that she’d ever struggled with that before.

Also I don’t think the voice direction for Sally Mae was done well. I liked her voice in “Harvest Moon” but it felt like the voice actress was struggling with keeping the southern accent in tact + sounding natural.

Overall, I did really like the short, but it also made me kind of sad for what could have been in terms of giving Millie more of the spotlight.

#helluva boss critical #helluva boss critique #helluva boss criticism #helluva millie #Millie #helluva boss millie #sallie may #sallie may helluva boss #helluva sallie may

[strangermask]

Aight, never thought I would be making a post about the #savemyboycole thing but here I am

Listen

With all due respect

Cole is heavily queer coded, and most people in the fandom interprets Cole being queer. Whether he’s gay, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, aromatic: it all depends on how you see it (the great thing about headcanons)

Was it ever stated he was gay in canon? No

Was it ever stated he was straight in canon? Not really.

Now you might say: “But the season three love triangle!” Literally it was confirmed by the writer that Cole wasn’t attracted to Nya during that. (If anyone is able to find the link to that post, please share)

Also: may I remind you that people can realize they aren’t straight after dating or even marrying a person the opposite gender. Hell, people can even know they aren’t straight and still present as one if they aren’t out yet. My brother is an example of the latter.

Now again, I don’t wish to be disrespectful because this is fan media and we all interpret things differently. I know we all don’t see the characters same. If you think Cole is straight, that is your interpretation and I can’t change it. But throwing a fit like this and trying to shove “make Cole straight” propaganda is not going to end well on your part. Especially in a fandom filled with mostly queer people

Another problem: contacting the new writers to make Cole straight? What happens if they don’t answer. Are you going to harass the writers to adjust to your likings? Like how the Voltron fandom did with Klance and ruining the ship for half the people? Like how the bmha fandom constantly harassed and sent death threats to the team to make certain ships canon? I don’t want to bring these up, but these things that have happened is exactly why we shouldn’t contact show writers to fix something we don’t like. Even if these events centered around ships, they were ruined for people. This could lead to Cole being ruined as a favorite character (and I hope it doesn’t come to that point)

All I ask, is that to please think critically about your actions and how it can affect everyone. This is not the way to go. Right now, we are only making jokes. But if it escalates beyond that, expect a much worse backlash

#mask talks #ninjago #hate im putting this under the ninjago tag #but its important #apologies if this worded poorly #i am very tired

[sophiethewitch1]

UwU any spoilers for the next chapter,,

I have meant to do this multiple times but keep forgetting so here's an extra long snippet in apology! It's basically the entire start of the next chapter ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Damn. Your indulgent TV stalking of the Wayne’s really doesn’t hit the same once you technically knew them. And you were hiding inside one of their bedrooms, inside one of their clothes, using their TV subscription. It just didn’t feel right. Morally, of course, but that wasn’t what you were talking about. No, you were just pissy your favourite passtime was basically ruined. You shovel another spoonful of cookie dough ice cream into your mouth, glaring through tired eyes at the screen.

There’s an up close shot of Dick Grayson’s abs. The presenter ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ over his physical form, and you have to agree. You wish you had abs like that. Unfortunately you did respond to most unwanted experiences with stress eating. As always with these celebrity figures, you can’t really tell if you want to be Dick or be with Dick. Your butt is nowhere near the level his is at.

While you hadn’t really set out today looking for shirtless pictures of the Waynes, it wasn’t like you were going to say no to them. So, when the gossip channel had switched from the reactions of the Waynes to last night’s fiasco to… this… you’d just kept watching.

You wonder if you should stop doing this. It’s definitely kind of creepy, and now you’d technically once been his… step sister. What a mind fuck. You’ve been crushing on these dudes for a while, and now they were your ex-step siblings. This was like the start of a bad porno, but you knew you were not that lucky. And it wasn’t like you were going to start thinking of him as a brother any time soon. You hadn’t even met the guy. No, he was still firmly in the ‘celebrity crush’ section of your mind. Pretty and untouchable. The way things are supposed to be.

Which was also bad because you would probably have to meet and interact with him at some point. Probably in the near future. God knows you’d absolutely humiliated yourself in front of the fucking Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne,. Twice, in fact. You didn’t even want to think about the display you’d shown for Bruce Wayne or Damian Wayne.

You didn’t really know what to do with your slightly obsessive crushes. And you could see it definitely being a problem in the near future.

…You decide that what you do in your private time is absolutely nobody but yours business, and keep watching. It’s a mix of bitter spite and geniune mental breakdown levels of desperation that leads you to that decision. You feel like you’re a child with their toy being taken away, and it’s making you mad. And sad too. Even if you shouldn’t do this anymore, you still wanted to keep the habit. You’d mentioned before your creature comforts were one of the few things that kept you going. And while you were mostly very good at not being the jealous, heinous creature you really are, you knew you wouldn’t be giving this up.

They’d have to tear your gossip channels from your cold dead palms. You weren’t giving them up, not without a fight at least. Unfortunately for you, the universe seemed determined to wrestle away literally everything you loved.

Guilt’s for tomorrow. Today is for ice cream and purposefully ignoring everything. Speaking of which, you can not remember the last time you had a good Ben & Jerry’s. They were so expensive these days, as all groceries were. You simply couldn’t afford it. The Waynes, of course, had multiple tubs in multiple different options. Alfred had seemed delighted that you’d taken the ice cream, for which reasons you could not perceive.

Oh, yeah! His name was Alfred. Very butler-y. You’d remember it this time, he was a very nice man. And he called you ‘young miss’ which earned him points. He also didn’t seem to hate you on sight, or treat you like a two-headed freak, like some of the other people in this household. Not naming names. Yeah, fuck that noise, Damian Wayne obviously has issues and it’s much less attractive in real life.

The woman drones on, and your eyes flick to your phone. Yup, she’s still yapping. It’s not like you don’t appreciate Dick’s abs or anything, it’s just that you think she might’ve been talking about this one specific photo for over half an hour now. Lady should get a hobby. Wait, wait, this is her job. Maybe you should start a podcast where you rant about the Wayne’s excercise regimes. It seems to be quite a lucrative field.

You shriek when the door slams open, nearly tumbling backwards off the bed. Hands manage to grip the bedcovers before you tip over, not making a complete fool of yourself. As it goes, you lose your spoon to the carpet. Bits of cookie dough spread over the floor in a divine sacrifice. And you lose your sanity to the man standing in the doorway. To be fair, he looks just as confused as you feel.

You blink at the physically perfect form of Dick Grayson, and then turn your head to the TV to look at the other physically perfect form of Dick Grayson.

…You really wish you had a good explanation for this.

He mutters out your name, lips parted. Dick Grayson seems absolutely shocked to find you here. His eyes flick around the room, and eventually land on the TV. Said baby blues widen to the size of saucers when the reporter makes a really, really unneccesary comment.

“And in news that broke the hearts of both ladies and gentlemen everywhere in Bludhaven, Dick Grayson has announced he will be returning to Gotham to assist his family in this difficult time. My cousin in the Blud is probably crying right now. There’s no ass out there quite like his, and there’s no replacement for Bludhaven’s favourite young rich bachelor,” she winks at the camera, and then the shot of his tone stomach phases forward to take up the entire screen.

Well, there’s a lot to say about that. First of all, fuck. Second of all, shit. Third of all, she really couldn’t have said that part about Dick coming back to Gotham sooner? Per chance, before you’d found yourself in this situation?

You said you weren’t that lucky, you meant it.

“But still, ain’t that lucky for us Gothamites? I myself have spent a lot of time on Dick’s Tiktok and Instagram, and his thirst traps have been used in a lot of my personal-”

You snatch the remote from the sheets and pause it right there. The silence is tense.

#sophie speaks #sophie answers #series:www #www spoilers #i am. EMBARASSED #look i put a warning on my blog that id regularly forget things and i meant it #im sorry :/ #i really wish i could fix it but like i... can not #dissociative disorder + fibro fog = never getting any shit done #but also i think im on the rise again!! i feel motivated and want to write so I'm gonna get doing that #this chapter will probably be a bit shorter but I'm uncertain #just trying to get it out really #i promise i really havent given up on www I'm too invested at this point lmao #if i do not see these bitches fucking i will be upset

[grmpgm]

come on, danny, let’s go party! 💗

#danny sexbang #ninja brian #ninja sex party #honeyart #+ like. might as well spam the notes on this one #TLDR! this was An Ordeal #started this when the barbie meme was still relevant- and then my computer died! got a new one bc i thought it came with a stylus! it didn’t #this was finished on my phone and um. you can tell #there is SO MUCH i wish i could change or go back + fix but also like. i kind of want to stop thinking about this for the rest of my life #i appreciate it for what it is though? i learned a LOT and tbh that’s all you can really ask for #dan avidan #brian wecht

[nerevar-quote-and-star]

Dangerously close to plotting a real Skyrim/Lord of the Rings crossover for after Keeping Count because my secret desire for Leara/Glorfindel has reared its head again

Shhh Don't question it.

#look look now i must explain #the explanation is that leara simply works well with literally every male character I like at least for the most part #anyway #it'd be funny #i wish i could write a leara/astarion fic but i do NOT understand d&d at all alas #I understand lotr/silm on a crazy level so i guess sunshine hero elf it is #this is fine actually #actually what i really need to do is edit and finish my funny Skyrim/hobbit crack fic but that's a ten year old project #no really #I do NOT KNOW i am just having thoughts and i'm sharing them on my blog because it's mine and I can #also i was in the glorfindel/ofc tag on ao3 like five minutes ago and it looks empty and sad #so Leara can fix it #one day there will be more leara ships than there are for hermione granger jk maybe #i should make a list #I am talking out of my hair it is unlikely that i'll ever do anything the fact that keeping count even exists is a bloody miracle #mod post #oc: leara roseblade

[solradguy]

This book I got to scan for otherkin talks about quantum physics-based magic. I literally cannot escape quantum physics-based magic systems. Can Guilty Gear just like give me a moment, ok, for getting me consistently into this mess. I need to throttle Dr. Paradigm. My brain is getting so wrinkled from having to learn about quantum theory and particle theory and Planck's Constant and Heisenberg's Principle and Bohr models... At least it's in English this time. I GUESS.

#textpost #I started doing the damn Khan Academy course on all this nonsense because I just know I'll have to deal with it more later #Might as know what the hell I'm reading about this time. Save me hours of researching I could spend PUMMELING PARADIGM #I don't really understand it as much as I wish I could but if I can at least ID the terms and the basic stuff then that's fine #If I know what I'm looking at then that's enough to bullshit my way through a project #Translating Japanese requires a lot of brain power but the only time I've ever had to really strain my neurons was #with Paradigms story from the Overture Material Collection #Reading about pseudoscience magic in a second language polar opposite your native one is like. Oh god why #I actually got headaches trying to figure that one out. It has minor errors. Some day I'll fix them

[madame-mongoose]

I wish I could talk to people without being so scared

#idk why but im starting to feel really bad again #i wish i didnt feel like a burden constantly #i wish i wasnt scared of being open #ive been scaring myself a lot #and i dont know how much longer i can go on like this. i cant afford therapy #i just wish things could fix themselves i wish i could be okay #vent #monnie rambles

[falling-hand-in-unlovable-hand]

the worst part of break is the last day when you're just drowning in stress thinking about going back. i feel literally physically nauseous

#the stupidest part is that i'm so fucking stressed mostly about my fucking FILM class #more than any of my honors courses #i haven't done enough work in it at all and i'm so embarrassed about it so i don't want to start working on it and show how little i have #done so i get even more behind #i have a film i have to make and it's only half done and now i can't fucking find it in my files cuz i'd planned on working on it this brea #but i got sick and wasted 4 days of my already stupidly short break #i have TWO whole presentations on an actor and a director and i don't CARE or know about any actors or directors #i just feel sick #i wish i could drop it or just fucking fail it but i can't #it's so so stupid #i'm never gonna be able to take another class with that teacher from the fucking shame i feel actually horrible every time i go in her clas #and the worst part is that it's literally my fault i could have just done the fucking work and i didn't #kiwifae says shit #ugh okay this made me feel better i need to just figure out my actor director presentations (which are my fucking final btw 😭) #i accept the shit grade i'm getting on the film i can fix it if i make decent presentations i'm just mad i'm doing bad and getting so #stressed over a dumbass extra class like film production like what #i still don't think i can take another class with her she's really pleasant but i just feel so so sick whenever i go in there cuz i feel so #guilty #which is a shame cuz she teaches photography which i would really like to take #maybe senior year idk i might not care anymore then #also i'm aware this isn't a normal amount of shame and anxiety just for procrastinating i just feel super bad abt this for some reason #sorry for ranting but i'm just blehhhhhhh rn #ok i'm gonna get something to eat and take a shower maybe i'll feel less like i'm dying #👍

[derpinette]

too many males getting veneers when really they should be investing in hair transplants if anything

#you can clearly afford it & you are going to turkey for it anyway #& do NOT cheap out replace that whole scalp you never know how ruthless norwood is going to be on you else you get The Hair Band #just do it in one surgery #i advocate for teeth crookedness anyway i wish i could just yank out my braces to push my canines into yaeba i especially like #that thing people have where they teeth grow atop of others my cousin had that but the dentist just REMOVED them instead of realigning... #really makes me wish death on aesthetic dentistry STOP that madness. #i sincerely believe that teeth hold so much character & it genuinely pains me to see people get them replaced with chiclet piano keys #all straight & uniform uber white colored YUCK #honestly having thin hair as a male is a sign of genetic failure whereas misaligned teeth is not #at least you can fix that with braces that you will later take off ( when will it be my turn to... ) nothing added All You #it really sickens me to see just goes to show poor decision making skills. thin hair is infinitely more humiliating than “ugly” teeth #but there are situations where better teeth aremore of an improvement TBH if a man wants to self harm for looks go ahead IDC but ♯JustSayin #i wish you could have seen it but one time a classmate came to class to let our teacher know that he was leaving in the seventh grade #& she was like Erm why what excuse could you possibly have & he uncovered his mouth to reveal several of his teeth broken & missing #turns out he had them knocked out by an upperclassman who pushed him onto a pole while playing a game #i still laugh out loud whenever i remember it was so absurd literally the last thing i expected it was like a tom & jerry gag IRL #he was crazy rich so thankfully he got them all replaced like immediately but imagine being anyone in that situation. even the mom #i mean i felt bad for him that must have been so painful but i cannot help but burst into laughter whenever i remember

[pulchrasilva]

Hey siri how do I talk to my friend whose cat just died

#failing at social interaction 👍 like man i really wish i could help you feel better but i just 🧍‍♂️ #:(( #theres nothing i can do to fix the situation soo idk how i help #like emotional comfort is not in my skillset man

[kyouka-supremacy]

Btw today is a month since this blog was shadowbanned 🥳🥳

#Uhm. #I don't have words #Anyways I was suspending the queue thinking the shadowban would be temporary (and exams) #but given it clearly isn't. temporary. and I have stuff to post / reblog I will probably resume it with February #(Well. not tomorrow because of the episode or the second because of the chapter– #but unless sskk goes canon or something the third shall be it) #Also because like. I miss sskk and there's too many sskk posts going from June it'd be too bad not to post #I'm mostly sorry for the Akutagawa side blog tbh? Like with this blog I kinda came to terms with the accomodation of keeping it reblogs– #focused and the other original posts centered. #Despite the initial trauma it isn't even that bad because before my original posts kept getting lost in reblogs so it's a nice solution! #(Wow I just realized. After all the pain I went through when this blog was first blocked‚ the last stage of grief really IS acceptance) #But the Akutagawa blog got shadowbanned like one week after creation and although I love running it and looking for pics. #Idk I wish it got a little more traction before disappearing to the void #But there's little I can do I guess. Trust me when I tell you I tried anything I can do– well‚ besides messaging staff every day #But how could I ever do that 😞 #I feel my mental state deteriorating day after day and it's always harder to do things during the day #but it's okay tomorrow is Wungo Wednesday and that's sure to fix me <33 #random rambles

[arthur-r]

what’s really embarrassing is my roommate on the phone with his mom saying “yeah i’ve been getting really sloppy i haven’t cleaned in a week it’s terrible” and my side of the room is just like that. all of the time. and i feel guilty but he also hasn’t ever said anything to my face he moved my stuff some at the beginning of the year but has never talked to me about it and i’m also so fucking ill that i just cant really handle adding that to my list while trying to also not fail school. so here i am being a terrible person i guess. did i tell you guys about turtle-person. have i showed my bracelets. i’m gonna go to sleep but in the morning i need to show my bracelets

#help i have work tomorrow. i also feel sick and strange. wish me luck #the sun was around today which was incredible but also i think it gave me too much mental energy #cause for the first time in forever i had the brightness of spirit to go for a walk. but that’s not the same as having the blood flow for it #so i think i overexerted myself cause of being finally happy and mentally energized i forgot about being physically disabled #i also had to explain POTS to somebody today and she was literally like ‘oh is that the thing where you need to have salt’ and NO like #i do have a really high salt intake to cope with POTS. but that’s not the fucking thing yknow?? like no that’s not what the thing i have is #it has nothing to do with salt. salt is a fun little coincidence that it can help with water retention which in turn helps with POTS #and it raises blood pressure is i think the other reason? but anyway idk i would honestly rather she just not know about it than have like #that very particular tiktok version of it like i am so glad for internet knowledge being spread and stuff and i mean. i guess even the posts #that i’m about to complain about are good for making people feel like they’re not alone. so maybe it’s fine. but i was going to complain of #the videos that are like ‘‘that one POTS friend’’ and it’s just like. salty food. instead of like. having to sit down?? BEING FATIGUED?? #and like whatever. whatEVER but i wish it wasn’t getting conflated with one particular little way of treating it. even though i use that way #i don’t have needs-a-lot-of-salt-disease. like that’s not the point. that’s not the issue. it’s not a salt deficiency. salt just helps #and it doesn’t FIX it. it just helps. that’s all #ANYWAY EVERYTHING IS FINE. i feel sick though. but i’m gonna sleep and i’ll be fine #i miss before i had a job cause then i could sleep all day if i skipped class and it would be really nice. but now i have a job i would be #missing on my responsibilities for. and I don’t actually have accommodations. but im gonna sleep i’ll be fine #and library book cart is actually so rollator. like as far as being able to walk the library situation is such a win #anyway i’m gonna go to sleep now. but yeah idk i’m sick and a mess what else is new. but i have something whatever i’m good theres something #unrequited love for life or something like that. ok im gonna go to bed sorry for being weird and strange all the time!!!! #me. my post. mine. #delete later

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

collaborated with @poppies-for-thirteen and made a video of their collage poem

cw for flashing images and glitchy sound and visual effects

#LOVED doing this #was super fun #loved how it was all back and forth the whole way #my favourite parts are #the sequence from 0:03-0:05 #'i wish i never told anyone' under 13 with her watch and yaz with the coin. each with their own secrets bc theyre too much alike <3 #'you cant say your wish out loud' and 13 quietly begging to be given a reason to stay a bit longer #the heartbeat. at some points especially it makes really nice transitions where text fades out on it or the image cuts #or when 13 is on the sofa in 11x1 vs on the floor in 12x10 #the entire sequence after yaz says 'i'd rather not have met her cus' and then it's like a slideshow of their greatest hits/reasons why #0:28-0:33 'can we just live in the present' 13 in yazs apartment looking at rOTTING GARBAGE THAT HASNT BEEN DISPOSED OF PROPERLY #yaz looking at her all hearteyes bc she doesnt mind living in this present for a bit either #'somewhere i can never find it' with 13 being bad at hiding secrets like yaz can see all the secrets in plain sight but she doesnt get to #know what they are. 'somewhere i can never find it' o's hut with all the files. something something hidden in plain sight again #'a life i never knew' with ruth and 13 driving up to fake life lighthouse and then it's yaz in her old job and yaz in her timestorm au #the life they never knew being like. both literally and also roads not taken. what if yaz had never met the doctor. #what if the doctor could have a normal stationary life. lives they havent known #'i want to fix myself' with 13 looking Like That at tesla makes me want to CRY #plus then yaz of course for double points #'i wish this would go on forever' + 13 counting endless days on the wall #'i want to forgive myself' with 13 saying 'im just a traveller' like.... babe <3 im gonna scream #i know i made it. still #that one distorted shot of 13 falling bleeding through the shot from the end of arachnids where theyre about to pull the lever together #and yaz looking up at 'i want to tell you everything' and the letters all wobbling like that #i acknowledge that this is most of the video that is my favourite part #but it's a good video i like it :) #okay im logging off now for real. had to do this video real quick but now im gonna go touch grass. see you later

[sctir]

do u ever just

#wei.post #SORRY. thinking abt my little sibling and crying #i love them very much. they can also never know tjis bc they are a little shit #i was young enough when they were born that i dont have many memories from before them #but theyve never known a life without me #im glad i moved out of my parents house #and it seems like that did fix some of the. family tensions and whatever‚ theyre less Like That now #but i hardly ever see my little sibling #sometimes i miss them a lot. more than anything #not a lot of time that we have in this world really. i wish i could see them more #...anyways im normal