#i still cant seem to believe these even exist in the first place

[yourelosingains]

endgame things....

#how many times does tender emotional music need to play #like- #byler #rovickie #jopper #jancy #lumax #stranger things 4 #stranger things #i still cant seem to believe these even exist in the first place #before i took the first screenshot i never even realised tender emotional music played in that scene

[weirdmageddon]

i posted this on twitter also but it’s still eating at me. i’m so fucking embarrassed to be jewish rn. i dont want to be associated with this ongoing bullshit from israel. why do we need our own state. theyre just making every jew across the globe look bad in general even though many of us are conflicted about zionism and the legitimacy of israel as a state

people have hated jews throughout history for no fuckin reason but now israel exists but now its like. GIVING people reasons to hate us as a group. note that i DON’T conflate zionism with jewishness, but a lot of people in the world don’t know the difference because theyre uninformed and been dripfed cultural antisemitic tropes their whole life and that’s the scary part is them falsely putting two and two together. like what the fuck israel stop youre just putting fuel on the fire for people around the world to hate an entire group of historically persecuted people if youre being this shitty with your insane colonialism and apartheid like……I Want No Fuckin Part Of This. you’re spelling our own doom. you cant just swoop in and go “mine now” and then oppress the people you took land from under a regime without my blood boiling at the injustice no matter WHO you are. even if my lineage is tied to you. so when news outlets support israel it doesn’t feel like they have the best interest of jews as a people in mind. it’s in the interest of a zionist ethnostate and whatever that christian zionism belief is about the jewish people returning to the holy land as prerequisite for the second coming of jesus. its not like they care about us as a dispersed ethnocultural group, it’s all for that religious narrative that a bunch of people in the US are backing.

saying you want all jews to die is antisemitic. beating someone up because they’re jewish and no other reason without knowing their views is antisemitic. criticizing human rights violations perpetrated by israel and the belief that one group deserves more rights another is not antisemitic. and the fact that israel has the ability to pull that antisemitism card in response to criticisms of the violations they commit because their state is the “jewish homeland” drives me fucking insane. take fucking accountability for your actions. and yes, there do exist full-on anti-jewish groups in the middle east that go beyond hatred of israel’s policies and existence as a state and i’m tired of people pretending there aren’t in fear of appearing to seem like they support the state of israel. on the other side of things many people overestimate this by fearmongering and saying EVERY arab is out to get jews worldwide, telling people like me “they want YOU dead”. this is not the belief every person in the middle east and it really rubs me the wrong way that people group millions of individuals into all-encompassing lumps like this. many people there do understand nuance of this political situation.

even if i have that “right of return” by israeli law or whatever, i don’t feel obliged to it; it does not register as fair. why do i have a “right of return” when i’ve never even been there in the first place while palestinians who have homes there can’t return to them? what’s the basis for that? substituting objective reality with an imaginary reality? i don’t think like that. i can hypothetically come and go whenever i please but palestinians are severely limited in mobility? what makes me more entitled to that land than the people who lived there for centuries? nothing that comes from natural law thats for sure. it’s all artificial and inflated.

but at the same time i also dont want to be the target of antisemitism and caught in the fray just for being ethnically jewish. once people start calling for the genocide of entire groups we’ve got issues (and you better believe this absolutely applies to the palestinian victims in gaza too), because people who dissent to the violence perpetrated by the loudest are caught in there with the people who are perpetrating the violence. lack of nuance. people conflating israel and its zionist apartheid policies with jewish ethnicity and culture worldwide. other people conflating being terrorist anti-jew with muslims worldwide (like that 6-year old palestinian-american boy that was just stabbed to death in chicago). scary times man. but as a jew i can’t just opt out of this if it’s how i was born as. i don’t have control over that. but i can control what i think and what my beliefs are

#israel palestine conflict #israel #palestine #what i feel is right most strongly resonates with secular humanist philosophy #never really found the right way to explain my worldview until i read about it

[the-s1lly-corner]

Ej x reader

Prompt 41💀

Prompt 41 with Eyeless Jack

Oh boy oh boy when I made the role swap prompt I didnt think anyone would pick it, but I'm so glad it was chosen!! AND with probably one of my favorite characters + with a character where a role swap would be drastic to their characterization? SIGN ME UP!!!

With Jack no longer being sucked up into the cult that ruined him in the first place hes allowed to continue to live his life in relative peace. Hes allowed to finish his education, hes allowed to get into his dream career field, and hes allowed to interact with other people as normal. Although he doesn't appreciate it as much as his other counterpart would, due to him not having that privilege stripped away from him. Hes not as closed off or gloomy, either. Not to say hes a way of sunshine, because hes not... but hes noticibly in a better place mentally than the main timeline.

You, on the other hand... you're really going through it. It hurts, so much. Mentally and physically, it feels like your body is breaking and contorting constantly and your mind is tearing itself apart as a means to protect itself and as a byproduct of what was done to you. Eventually there will be no "You" to occupy your body.

As nice of a thought it would be that Jack would stay by your side were your roles reversed, it's not likely. Unlike the main timeline, hes not tricked into interacting with this.. sort of thing. Even if he believed monsters and such to exist in this universe, he doesn't actively meddle in those things. He knows how these things end and hes not going to knowingly put himself into a situation.

The only way the two of you interact outside of a single encounter would be if you knew each other before everythj g went to shit. He may not see you for long, but he does seem to at least try to secure a safe place for you to.. exist.. without having to be caught and prodded or even killed. You cant exactly call what you're doing "living", you're constantly fighting with whatever is changing you and trying not to get caught by people going monster hunting.

Jack's visits to you become less and less frequent, and they become shorter. Until eventually he just. Stops coming to you, likely without a word. He doesnt seem like the type to have the nerve to tell you hes leaving town. It's not a happy ending and its harsh given that if your roles were back where they were, you'd still be trying to visit him... but he still pushes you away in the main timeline, so maybe things arent so different after all.

#creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta x you #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta imagine #eyeless jack imagine #eyeless jack fanfic #eyeless jack x reader #eyeless jack headcanon #eyeless jack x you

[chalicedefinite]

I have been on this tag since day one and the majority of the posts and blogs I've seen adore Louis. Pointing out canonical traits like him actively lying in Canon books and now the show as well is not being hateful or disrespectful. Saying episode 5 and the whole tale infact being revisited is Not fans of lestat being apologists. It is what Anne Rice canonically did with the Vampire Lestat and the books that followed. Louis is loved widely in this tag. Lestat is being hated on as a result of the villainous portrayal in season 1 which again Canonically is a tale (not a true one) being told both in books and in the show. A lot of people however took it too far with the lestat hate and started calling anyone who liked him names and then people starting to fight back and the rest is how we got to here. If there is no understanding to fans of both characters the two most loved characters in the show -who at the end of the series canonically end up together- then what the hell is the point of being in this Fandom in the first place? Please don't take this as a personal attack it wasn't meant as one but as another person's experience and thoughts of the fandom so far.

I’m going to be honest I find this very hard to believe that it was only just about liking Lestat.

I’ve gotten more hate and vitriol from Lestat fans ever since I’ve joined this fandom. I’ve never talked bad about his character and I make it very clear on my blog that I love him and that he’s my favorite character both in the show and in the books. And yet, because I calmly engaged with a popular blog’s theory about episode 5; everyday I wake up to hate in my inbox that I have to delete. Lestat fans have been nothing but disrespectful to me for no reason.

Im a Lestat fan myself and I talk about how much I love him all the time it seems and I haven’t been once called a racist. I’ve had anons accusing me of hating Lestat but never ones accusing me of racism. This is the second time someone has told me that Lestat fans are bullied for liking him when all I’ve seen and experienced thus far is the exact opposite which begs the question: Is it really because you like Lestat or is it something deeper that other people picked up on but not you yourself? 3. How is anyone’s rational response as a human to someone calling them racist for liking Lestat is to deny the systemic oppression of black people? This is the main thing that doesn’t make a lick of sense to me. How did we go from, “Users were attacked for liking Lestat” to “So a bunch of blogs are now starting to agree with and talk about how reverse racism is real.” I’ve gotten attacked for liking characters before and my reaction to that is blocking whoever is causing trouble and ignoring them. I got harassed to hell and back in the Voltron fandom for defending and liking Allura and never at any point was I thinking about how affirmative action is the real systematic evil plaguing society. If this kind of thinking was always in the back of certain people’s head as they were analyzing the show then it’s safe to say that people weren’t mad at them just because they liked Lestat. You can not properly analyze a show where a black man talks about how he was systematically oppressed for being black when you don’t even believe in systemic oppression yourself. How can you sit down and watch this show where Louis is constantly being put down by the white people around him, where he has to pretend to be his husband’s chauffeur, where you see white people burning a black neighborhood, where Louis and Claudia cant even sit next to Lestat and have to sit at the back of the bus and come out of it thinking that reverse racism exists in our society? Louis is the age of a lot of black people’s great grandfather, what he went through was not that long ago and the society he lives is still alive today.

4. What purpose would it serve narratively to have Louis and Claudia lie about episode 5? I’m leaving this question here because the last time I tried to have this discussion it led to anons hounding me.

#Ask #interview with the vampire #iwtv

[egotisticalmachine]

sorry to ask you to ‘diagnose’ me, but lately ive been finding that i really really heavily relate to a lot of pwNPDs posts. ive also noticed thought patterns i have with my non-system splitting (thoughts go from ‘i am the most victimized person ever in the world’ to ‘i am the most horrible abuser that ever existed’).

i wanted to ask how you got diagnosed/started seeking information on NPD. i want to perhaps bring these thought patterns up the my therapist, but im unsure how to (esp since she has used the term “narcisstic abuse” in reference to experiences ive had)

any advice?

thank you for your patience, my life is very busy these days and i dont have a whole lot of time for tumblr, but i dont want you to think this is unimportant to me.

to be clear, im self diagnosed, and not planning on seeking a professional diagnosis, so i can only really walk you through doing your own research and self reflection and tips i can imagine would be helpful for seeking a diagnosis if you choose to do so. im aware my choice is somewhat controversial, and i would be happy to list out all my reasoning in a separate post, but i feel like that would be really fucking long (and kind of bitter tbh) and this is already gonna be a doozy. my main point is that if youre going to self diagnose, itll take a lot of research and thought; and if youre going to seek a prof diagnosis, itll take research and thought as well but youll also need to take into account the trustworthiness of whoever you turn to for help. if you go the prof dx route, i wish you nothing but the best of luck.

but onto my own process.

first, the DSM-5. a free PDF of the entire thing can be found here. make sure to read over the first part defining personality disorders as a whole, as well as the section on narcissistic personality disorder ofc, AND the disorders that it can often be mistaken for, which are listed under "Differential Diagnosis". take note of any that it seems you might fit the criteria for instead, or in addition. remember that NPD can be comorbid with many other conditions, as long as it isnt directly negating the diagnosis, such as narcissistic traits only being during episodes of mania.

please note though that the DSM-5 is still written from an outsider perspective. while it is ultimately the outline for a diagnosis, its not exempt from framing us in a negative light. for example - my lack of empathy isnt the result of any "unwillingness", i literally just have a lower capacity to empathize with others than the average person does. i can fake it, most of the time, but i cant force the real thing.

the DSM-5 also focuses mainly on pwNPD who are more outwardly grandiose, while ignoring those of us who dont present that way. for the most part im not a very "arrogant, haughty" person because ive learned thats not how i get my needs met. i may sometimes accidentally sound patronizing without realizing it, or i might unmask in safe environments and let myself be healthily arrogant (like playfully boasting and half-joking about everyone loving me), but on the whole i avoid it because in my experience, people like me better when im humble. even if im often arrogant internally, i filter myself. im not particularly grandiose now, but i used to be even less so - i was more of what gets referred to as a vulnerable narcissist, displaying (very often excessive by the standards of social acceptability, but still usually genuine) emotional vulnerability to others in the hopes of getting comfort and attention, and often placing myself into the "inferior" social rung that i believed everyone else wrongly saw me as because i felt that if i tried to take the "superior" position i "rightfully deserved" i would be hated for it. now i would say im in between grandiose and vulnerable, but still not as grandiose as whats described in the DSM-5.

also, consider the ways the criteria might apply in ways that may differ from whats described, or what immediately comes to mind. the "Diagnostic Features" section describes pretty specific scenarios, and i know i personally sometimes struggle to think beyond the examples im given. are the "special people" you associate with morally or creatively or spiritually special? do you exhibit entitlement by not doing assignments and being surprised by the consequences, or by expecting someone else in the household to handle the chores because youre busy, without considering that theyre busy too, maybe even busier? does your need for admiration apply to art you create, jokes you tell, facts you share?

TLDR for those last four paragraphs: the DSM-5 is absolutely the starting place for research, but doesnt encompass the entirety of the narcissistic experience. which is where the next step comes in -

keep researching. this step is... very, very difficult. the sad truth is youll mostly see articles about how horrible narcissists apparently are. youve probably already seen much of this and im sorry. theres not really any way to avoid it, because even resources that can offer actual help tend to have at least a degree of disdain for us. ive seen some pwNPD recommend the works of dr daniel fox, such as his worksheets available for free online, and if they might be helpful i encourage you to utilize those; however even his youtube channel is incredibly villainizing, at least based on the thumbnails (I Am Not Clicking On That Shit) so i really cant take him seriously and wont be giving him any of my money. please just be cautious wading through everything and remember that, whether you have NPD or just narcissistic traits, you arent the monster these people want to frame you as.

i wish i could remember every article that helped me along the way, but the biggest one i always recommend to ANYONE who wants to learn more about NPD is the one ill link here, Narcissus And The Daffodils. the authors use the checklist linked here to go into detail describing the spectrum of narcissistic experiences. the checklist is built using the DSM-5 criteria, essentially reworded, restructured, and added to in order to offer a more thorough understanding of NPD.* the authors elaborate on the checklist to explain how those criteria tie in with the experiences described.

*while the checklist is described as a potential tool for self diagnosis, i firmly believe it cant be your only resource to do so, and im unsure if that was the intention of the creators, who do openly state that they arent professionals. however, i still consider this a very helpful resource.

as an additional note: NatD touches on three different forms of empathy, emotional, cognitive, and compassionate. after doing a lot of research on the subject, my conclusion is that nobody can fucking agree on how to categorize and label different forms of empathy, but the categorization is still helpful for me and many others. basically, whats being said is helpful, just prepare to be confused if you try to research further because that model of empathy isnt the only one out there.

beyond that, you kind of just have to keep on trucking. sift through the bullshit. use your critical thinking skills, consider what info might actually be helpful and what might just be hateful and able to be disregarded. try to keep seeking out pwNPD, but also be cautious that even some pwNPD arent going to give the best info (r/NPD sucks ass and so does the associated discord holy fuuuuuuuuuck, absolutely toxic community and also not very queer friendly). and you mentioned relating to posts made by pwNPD, so it sounds like youve already been seeking out communities, and hopefully youve been finding good ones! im certain other pwNPD have more resources than what im able to offer as well.

TLDR for the past five paragraphs: research research research, keep your wits about you, think for yourself, seek out healthy communities, and dont let the shitheads get you down.

this will also take a lot of self reflection. you need to consider how your symptoms affect your daily life, your interpersonal relationships, your private moments. can you pinpoint when this started; was it sudden, or have these traits been building up over time? what might have caused all of this, what did your youth look like, what does your life look like now? how have you been praised? how have you been hurt? what were your parents or guardians like?

professionals arent 100% certain of what causes NPD, but there are patterns - genetics, upbringing, trauma. look at your roots just as much as your branches, so to speak. some pwNPD were praised too much as a child, made to feel more important than others. some had their needs neglected. some experienced both. im sure there are other factors im forgetting to list, so again, go listen to other pwNPD and see if anything they say clicks with you. ill use myself as an example below for the sake of explaining one of many many ways NPD can develop, but thatll touch on childhood emotional abuse and trauma, without going into too much detail. if thats still upsetting to read about, feel free to skip the next paragraph.

growing up i was both put on a pedestal for my achievements and talents (like getting good grades or being cute) and devalued for anything that was inconvenient or undesirable (like being easily scared or making mistakes), so i learned subconsciously that i was somehow innately superior to my peers but also that my superiority was conditional and i was innately flawed. i moved houses constantly, so i didnt get to learn how to develop lasting friendships, and my detachment made it far too easy for me to see people as temporary sources of attention and entertainment and not much else, easy to discard without any trouble once our time was up. even once my family settled down in my teen years, they still maintained an idea that i was better than my friends. my mother in particular was manipulative, so i learned to be manipulative too - i became calculated in how i spoke and behaved, tugged at heartstrings, and outright lied countless times, all as a survival mechanism as it became harder and harder to meet the expectations placed on me. i couldnt depend on the same easiness of childhood i had grown up with, especially with other obstacles like schizophrenia in the way of my grades, but i hadnt been taught how to work for success and didnt have the support to succeed, i just felt entitled to it, it felt like something innate to me. and while all these family and school troubles were happening, and eventually work troubles, i had my trust broken many times by many people (often BECAUSE my drive for attention led me to stick around awful people and put up with hurtful behavior), and this reinforced my misanthropic idea that i must be better than other people, but that i have to prove im not below them.

aside from just shamelessly liking to talk about myself - im sure i can be honest with you here lmao - im saying all this to illustrate a very important aspect of my self diagnosis process. i am able to pinpoint a VAST array of experiences from my youth, including plenty that i didnt even mention here, which contributed to the development of my symptoms and influence my current day behavior and psyche.

which means, going back to the tree analogy, i can connect my roots to my branches. i can recognize the symptoms i experience, the branches, and i can trace back down to the experiences that led to those symptoms, the roots. that helped me to better rule out other possible causes for those symptoms - i dont experience low empathy solely because of my autism, even if that is a factor, but specific events in my life further lowered my empathetic ability beyond what it potentially could have been. i dont feel superior as a symptom of mania, both because its a constant feeling and because i can explain how that feeling was instilled in me.

dont feel bad if you cant pinpoint everything like this. like i said, it takes a lot of self reflection, and if theres trauma involved, itll probably be a painful process. its ongoing too, there are still moments that i suddenly make a connection between a branch and a root. and mental illnesses as a whole are complex, because the brain is complex, and life is complex. and, again, genetics are believed to be a factor, so it could be possible that if you have NPD, you may have had a lot fewer developmental experiences that led into it, but experts just really arent 100% sure about all the facts. all i can tell you is my own experience.

and of course, i know ive already said it plenty of times, but focus on those branches too. really really consider how your symptoms impact you and how well they may line up with NPD or potentially something else. i know that i have full certainty in my self diagnosis, but i know that wont be the case for everyone and even with your own personal certainty, you might still want a professional diagnosis. again, if you choose to seek that, i wish you only the best and i hope youre treated with nothing but the highest respect and dignity.

so my tips for that prof dx as someone without one. first and foremost in this section: gonna have to say your current therapist is a no-go. its not impossible to change someones mind about narcissistic abuse, but its also sadly not all that likely on your own, and more importantly it isnt your job when youre just trying to get help for a potential disorder. there are websites where you can search for specialists (dont use psychologytoday), but i know when i tried on a site i sadly forget the name of, i didnt get any results, so i dont know how many options are out there and listed on these sites.

your next option is probably word of mouth. reaching out to NPD communities, asking who can be trusted. but, given how small the community is, and that you dont want to doxx yourself and might not feel safe asking people you know irl, thatll probably be difficult too. there may be listings somewhere by pwNPD, but im unaware of any.

i think the next best option is just to reach out to therapists in your area, or just as far as youre willing/able to travel, or as far as theyll take telehealth appointments - and ask them some questions. do some doctor shopping. this is an important decision and you need to know you can trust the person youll be opening up to. i would start by simply asking if they treat people with narcissistic personality disorder. some therapists may simply not have the expertise to offer such treatment, while others may actively refuse to do so, but either way, you want that yes/no answer. if they do treat pwNPD, you can continue to ask questions about their goals in treating pwNPD, the processes they use, their success rates with these patients.

i would be cautious in asking any questions that might even POSSIBLY come off as accusatory. directly asking a therapists opinions on narcissistic abuse may result in them slotting you into the "victim complex" role, or them feeling like theyre being put on the defense, even if they dont hold those beliefs. even those who dont see us fully as villains can still see us poorly. try to ask questions that are more common to what anyone would ask while researching a therapist, and take note of anything that seems off, or of if they seem particularly safe and affirming.

also!! please consider your insurance, if you have it! all my recent doctors have been referrals from other doctors, but in the past ive had to go on the site for my insurance and find a list of doctors who would take it. alternatively, you could ask upfront if they take your insurance.

beyond all this, i dont think theres any other advice i can give you. so ill give the floor to anyone who might have anything else to add, any resources, articles, websites, therapists, advice, words of encouragement, polite corrections to anything i might have gotten wrong.

if you read this far, thank you for your time, and thank you for trusting me to offer my help. i hope i could steer you in the right direction, because the sea is fucking rough out there. whether its NPD or something else youre struggling with, im happy to help you out, even if it takes me some time to reply. and once more for good measure: i wish you the best of luck, dignity, and care.

#asks #advice #teefiesworld #also ill put this in the tags since the post is mainly addressing diagnosis and research #but like. id kind of had NPD on the back of my mind for A While before actually researching it #like ''hmmm maybe i should look into that. nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh'' #''why do i struggle so much to consider others? why do i detach so easily? why do i obsess over praise? oh well nbd lol'' #and i didnt give it much thought bc i didnt present very grandiosely #until eventually it gnawed at my brain enough that i researched vulnerable narcissism and had an entire breakdown of my self perception #over the course of. idk however long it took me to come to terms with my narcissism #its so funny bc i think people see treating NPD as involving a decrease in grandiosity #but for me i had to learn to INCREASE my grandiosity bc i was suppressing it so hard it was detrimental to me #all about striking that balance #not to say ive like. cured myself or whatever. but im absolutely way healthier than i used to be #bc i learned to identify those branches and roots and started adjusting my behavior #idk im ramblingggg but you asked about how i started seeking info and like #i dunno it was just kinda. i couldnt keep ignoring my symptoms and started with vulnerable narcissism and the DSM-5 and on from there iirc #btw imagine im telling you all this in like the corner of a cafe over some hot drinks n pastries or what have you. my digital treat to u

[mrs-munson-quinn]

Electric Love ↯ A Eddie Munson Fanfic

| Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

| Stranger Things Vol.1 Spoilers!!

| TW!! Mentions of death, mentions of abuse, slight bullying, blood, swearing, traumatic past mentioned!!!! Read at your own risk.

| Slow Burn

Next part-> chapter 3

MASTERLIST

↯ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ʀᴇᴅ ↯

“So how have you been, little red” y/n asks as she avoids eye contact with max. While taking a sip of her tea that maxine had made for her. They where sitting in maxs very small dining table. Sitting acroos from each other.

She felt guilty.

It has been a year since billy passed and she’s just now visiting max. Sure there was calls from here in there but that wasn’t enough.

She was to stuck on her grieving to even remember about max grief. She never once properly checked on max who she sees as a little sister.

Max and Billy might have not been close but they cared for each other in their own weird way.

She can still remember max heartbreaking sobs as she was telling her the news about billy. Barely getting a word out.

While she heard max sobs she remembers being in shock. As no tears seemed to escape.

She had felt his death, somehow.

She had been at work when all of the sudden she felt this sharp pain in her chest enough to make her stumble. She remembers whispering Billys name as she felt the worst pain. She felt heartbroken. While tears were running down her cheeks.

She was confused when this happened. She had a suspicion but she chose to ignore it. She knew. But she had hit the first stage of grief. Denial.

Max call that night had given an answer to her assumption.

Max then later on revealed how billy had died. Know well that y/n would believe her. And max trusted her enough. After max told her what had happened she was stuck not knowing if it was a good idead to tell her about being part of the experiments that the girl elven went through as well.

the girl billy had sacrificed himself for.

At the end she had decided that the best thing to do was to tell her. She told her about being kidnapped by them and being sent to the lab in California that no longer existed. She told her how she escaped. And max took it well she was obviously shooked but she still was supportive.

“I been good” max responds while avoiding eye contact just like y/n was.

At the tone of max voice is when she finally decided to look at the red head instead of the flowery wallpaper that decorated the Hawkins trailer.

Thats when y/n took notice of max hunched posture. She took her time studying the girl. Her dark eyes circle that decorated her eyes. The way her nails where bitten which she only has when she’s been anxious or stressed. The way that she was tapping her foot over and over the wood floor, a trait that both har and max had. It quite literally looks like max is carrying the world on her shoulders.

And she just knew max was lying.

“How have you been really” she places a hand on top of the red head hand that was resting on the dining table that was in the kitch of the trailer.

“I-“ she starts while gripping y/n hand for more comfort. “I have been having these nightmares. I cant sleep anymore. If i do i only get a little sleep. And-and i keep getting these horrible headaches. I dont know what to do anymore, y/n” she finishes off whith her voice shaking. As she tries to hold back tears of frustration.

Y/n heart breaking more and more as she sees max break more.

how such a strong girl is now a broken girl.

“Oh. Come here, Red” y/n moves closer to max a pulls her in a hug. A thing both need.

Amd finally max lets it all out.

Y/n strokes max red hair as she pulls her closer. Max hands gripping y/n’s black leather jacket as she cries into y/n chest.

After a few minutes max finally calms out. Max still in y/n arms feeling better afte telling someone what been going on to her.

“I can give you a good sleep. Nightmare free.” y/n says while holding up her hand activating her powers showing the red swirls that moved around her finger making it in to a small energy ball and moving around her fingers.

“Wow” max gasp at the red swirls and at y/n eyes that became a glowing red. This had been max first time seeing y/n powers. She had expected them to be like elevens. No color. And no glowing eyes. She felt entranced by the red swirls.

Y/n just laughs at max reaction.

“Come show me where your bedroom is. So you can finally have a good night sleep” she says while getting up from the chair that she was sitting down.

“Yeah. Follow me” max takes her to her bedroom.

Y/n enters max room. Humming in approval as she looks around max bedroom. The cute decorations. Along with the posters that decorated the walls.

She then sits at the edge of max bed as she pick up the cassette player that was laying across the bed.

Putting on the headphones and pressing play.

Running up that hill by kate bush starts playing on the player. Pressing pause afte a few seconds of hearing it.

“Still your favorite song i see” taking max headphones off.

“You remember” max says with a small smile.

“Of course!. You would always play that song on the record player, when we would have our sleepovers. The sleepovers tha billy hated cause we were so loud we wouldt let him sleep” y/n exclaims with the biggest smile at the happy memories.

“I miss those days” max sighs with sad smile as she sits besides y/n She misses those days when they were all happy. When they would all hang out together. Sure most of the time her and billy were bickering. Or When y/n and her would gang up on billy and do everything to annoy him.

“I know. Me too” y/n says she says while taking max hand.

“Now lay down, so you can finally have a good sleep” y/n motherly voice comes out.

After max got under the covers y/n starts tucking in max.

“Alright then, you ready” y/n ask max.

Max just nods.

“You wont feel anything. But as soon as the magic hits you. You will feel your eyes get really heavy. And then sleep with hit you like a light” y/n moves her hand towards max head as the red huse of magic starts to move aroung her fingers. Finally extending her fingers sending red huse towards max head.

“Later, little red” y/n kisses max forehead as she sees her already drifting of to sleep.

Getting up from the edge of the bed she heads out of the room taking one last look towards max.

***

“Mmh.” Y/n hums trying to look for the right spaghetti noodles that she needs in order to make her special spaghetti dish.

She had decided to go to the store to buy something to make for dinner since max had just had old take out Chinese food in the fridge.

Neil and max mom had gone out on a trip so max was all alone. And since max dosent know how to cook her only opinion was to order take out

Finally finding the noodles she needs she heads towards the cashier. Getting distracted as she looks at the groceries in her hands as she looks to make sure if she has everything she needs.

Not noticing the person that was infront of her.

“Uff” y/n says as she bumps into a hard back all the items she held in her hands falling to the floor.

“I-im so sorry. Its all my fault i was distracted. I knew i should of gotten a basket. My dumbass just decide to struggle. Again im so sorry” y/n rambles while picking up the groceries that fell.

“It alright dont worry about it” the person she bumped into reassures her as they start to help y/n picking up the groceries that fell.

“Eddie?” Y/n looks up as she hears the familiar voice of the boy she met earlier today. Oh how embarrassing. Of course she had to bumped into the cute boy from earlier. She curses her bad luck she seems to carry around.

“Y/n!” He smiles as he recognizes the girl.

“How about i help you carry these to checkout?” slightly showing the groceries that he helped pick up.

***

“So how long do you plan to stay in this cursed town” eddie ask y/n as they head towards check out.

“Im not sure how long yet” she shrugs.

“Well i hope you decide to stay here for long” eddie say as he turns to look at y/n face. Blushing at what he just said.

“Sure” she laughs as she feels heat travel to her cheeks

“Well. Here we are” eddie says as they get in the checkout.

“Thank you for help. And im sorry for bumping into you.” She says with griamce remembering the embarrassing incident.

“You’re very much welcome, angel. And dont worry about it ” he smiles as he trails his eys through her face. It was the first time he has ever felt this giddy with a girl. With the few minutes he has hang out with her hes pretty sure that his smile never dropped. And never has he blushed before because of a girl. She was something else.

“Thank you again eddie for you help” y/n says as she puts the last bag of groceries in her trunk.

Eddie had decide to help y/n carry the groceries to her car.

“No problem angel” he blushe slightly at the appreciation. Making eye contact with the girl. The eye contact lasting a little to long.

“Shit” eddie suddenly breaks the eye contact as he remembers the hellfire campaign he needs to go to.

“I really have to go. See you later ?” He ask at the end heading towards his van. As he faces her walking backwards.

“See you later, eddie ” y/n suddenly gets shy. Making zero contact with the boy. Still flustered from eye contact that eddie broke.

Y/n quickly gets in her car and drives away. Heading towards max trailer

Gosh that boy is something else.

**

Hope you guys liked this chapter!!

Tags: @faefanatic @abbiesxox @yoyoanaria @sleepysl0th03 @ravenwayghwitch @b4i1e7 @nightless @zanmorgan @strangemaximoff

#eddie munson x you #eddie munson #eddie munson x female reader #eddie stranger things #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things vol 1 #stranger things

[mpregfrance]

Alright to start this ask off I'm just gonna say my interactions w/ you have genuenly been one of the funniest ive had in a long ass time. I've read ur recent post and I empathyse a lot. You seem incredibly funny and genuine. Idk your situation and your background and even your age, but I think you can and are pulling through. Things will get better even if you dont actively want them to. Im not saying this in a vague hope to make the situation you are in better. Im telling you, as a person who from the age of 14 went from therapist to therapist, somehow been on meds that dont fuckin exist yet in croatia, someone who feels trapped in the very /country/ she lives in with no means of escape, someone who is "waiting" for things to finally financially/academicaly/politicaly be better so that I can make something of my life. As it did for me, you will feel joy again in what you do, in what you have, and in what you can achieve. I think it's ok to be down, its ok to feel like "if a bus hit me tomorrow i wouldnt protest" but the thing about people is we adapt rather quickly. So putting yourself out there, going to places you are scared to and believe yourself to be an outcast from is exactly what gets you to meet people and see things that youll remember forever. And after a while the outcast will stop coming to these places, the person there will be someone who belongs. Apathy is a way of saying "fine whatever i dont even care anymore" but youll see how much you care.

I started getting ok after a full decade of *trying* and what I've always found is that for me the saying "don't take anything seriously" is no.1 rule. I get worked up, anxious and overwhelmed with so much so many times.

You may have problems with people at work with friends and whomever, but the main thing you gotta remember is *you cant change anyone but yourself*

And its not a change of personality, hair color, interests, its how much something will get to you, how willing are you to give something up thats not working out and how you will percieve something.

I have no doubt that you know all of this crap but i guess i wanted to say all of that just bc there is no greater pain for me than when i see someone feel like i did regardless of the reason or situation.

Keep on truckin and doing what u love even if its mpregfrance posting. I will always be here to send you to liking-france-jail, mwah <3

hello my sweaty angle <3 i'm sorry i'm just replying to this now. i had to sleep on it because your thoughtfulness deserves a sincere reply.

first of all - thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being so kind, sweet and insightful and offering your support.

the fact that you would take the precious time out of your day to write this out for me is, in a word, unbelievable. i really appreciate you checking in, it's an incredibly caring thing to do. to be honest i'm a little overwhelmed by the magnitude of this unexpected message and i wish i knew how better to express my appreciation.

i really do love to hear that i made you laugh. i live to shitpost. i've always prided myself on my sense of humor and sometimes i feel as if it's slipping away, so it's reliving to hear i've still got it.

unfortunately i still haven't had the strength to eat. i'm heading to work in a bit. things are pretty rough right now, but when have they not been? obviously my present circumstances aren't the root cause of all my problems. in fact my life has improved since moving here.

extensive bianca lore and vulnerability under the cut, apologies in advance.

basically, in so few words, my current situation is that i'm nearly 25 and have nothing to show for it. i've lived in different cities across the US, had great jobs, apartments, friends, roommates, relationships, etc. i have done a lot of living in a short amount of time. but then, in retrospect, it feels like it stopped.

about 3 years ago i was in a very bad place mentally due to the isolation of the pandemic, and i met my husband online. in early 2022 i gave up everything, saved over $10k for the visa and moving costs, and relocated from the US to australia to live with him. our relationship itself has improved from how it used to be, but since the beginning we've had seemingly endless bad luck and financial setbacks.

last year, not long after our (very disappointing) wedding, i suffered a devastating miscarriage. ruptured ectopic, massive internal bleeding, required emergency surgery etc. not only was that traumatic emotionally, but i wasn't eligible for healthcare at the time bc of my immigration status, so we're still paying off the medical bill.

we share a house with my mother in law who is a domineering, emotionally incestuous single mom and an emotionally abusive narcissist. i don't throw that term around lightly, as so many people do these days, but i honestly believe she's devoid of empathy. she's admitted that she dislikes me and thinks i'm stupid because i don't talk much, and goes out of her way to make me feel unwelcome.

so i'm stuck in an area that feels, to me, like the middle of nowhere. i'm not homesick, i love this country. it's just that i'm not used to suburbs. i feel most comfortable in a city where there's people and places and things, neon lights and background noise and stuff to do.

i'd would be happy to live anywhere as long as it's not with her. it honestly feels like a prison sometimes. that sounds dramatic but she's cultivating an unbelievably hostile environment that causes me to feel on edge whenever she's around.

needless to say we need to move, desperately. it's our #1 priority. more than anything else i want a place of our own and eventually a family. we've been actively househunting for the better part of a year, but the rental market is catastrophically bad right now. it's not even about the money, since we're both working we can afford a decent place. it's just that it's so competitive. every showing i've attended, there's been like 30 other prospective tenants. we've been turned down from every apartment we've applied for.

on top of our living situation i have complex health issues that are just getting worse. my energy is zapped. trying to balance work work and housework leaves me with almost no free time to write.

this barely scratches the surface of why I Am The Way That I Am™. i'm not saying any of this to evoke sympathy or brag about 'having it hard'. simply trying to explain. my upbringing was abusive and dysfunctional in a number of ways. i just barely graduated high school. i never had traditional opportunities, i was raised in a way where there's basically no assumption/expectation that you'll ever be successful or fulfilled. i'm diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD and bipolar 2 - haven't been able to get my proper meds in australia. i've been addicted to hard drugs and alcohol. i'm not pleasant to be around. i will probably always look like and act like the lower class, white trash girl that i am. i have spent my entire life in survival mode.

i'm always in the midst of some identity crisis or running away from something. so yeah, i've been hurt and downtrodden. i've also experienced the beautiful side of life from time to time. i've gained a breadth of knowledge and met incredible individuals who introduced me to new perspectives and i'm forever grateful for them. with the way i've lived, i'm very lucky to not be dead or incarcerated right now.

ok, pity party's over. for real this time.

you're pretty much describing exactly how i feel. you know the struggle. the part about waiting to live my life; that's precisely where i'm at. i don't necessarily have a desire to fit in, i just want to get away into somewhere that i can adjust better to.

my isolation is partially due to a lack of energy but also i don't seek out interaction because i'm afraid no one else can understand me. not because i believe i'm too 'complex' or 'damaged' to be understood. that's a load of self-pitying bullshit. it's just scary to be truly seen. or vulnerable. or genuine. bc the results of such openness are unpredictable and uncomfortable.

it's hard, but i know i have to find it within myself to take that push. what's holding me back right now is mainly my material conditions, circumstances out of my direct control. i have no doubt i'll feel at least 50% better when i stop living with this woman.

i certainly have no problem with starting over if something doesn't work for me. contrary to what i might've described, i believe i'm pretty well adjusted, self aware and rational. as is obvious i don't take many things that seriously lmao. i went from caring wayyy too much about everything, being overly emotional and sensitive, to going entirely with the flow and accepting what i can't control or predict.

also i am well aware that you can't change people, that's never been my goal lmao i've never needed someone to tell me that <3

tl;dr, thank you. so much. this really uplifted and inspired me meli, thank you so much for being so thoughtful and compassionate.

it sounds like you're also stuck between a rock and a hard place in your own environment, and i'm sorry to hear that. it's a wretched feeling but i believe you you will thrive no matter the setting, because in all seriousness, you're incredibly talented. i hope you know you should follow your dreams. hell, it looks like you already are and you're giving us the privilege of witnessing it. your art is stunning, the passion and care you put into your work is obvious. your matthew is absolutely beautiful - like his maman.

from a rabidly devoted france woobifier to the designated france hater, i'm only going to say this once but you are validated in your distaste. i understand. you gotta admit though, he is a MILF.

if one thing is certain i will never stop frussyposting. in fact right now i am thinking about france hetalia big fat juicy boobies mmmm milky squishy. i'm giving her a teensy tiny little slut waist and childbearing hips. i would give him a brazilian butt lift but he doesn't even need it!!!

if that is a crime then lock me up. please. strap on the handcuffs and throw me in the crate for naughty little freaks teeheehee >:3

be careful tho. if you keep sending me gay ass love letters like this they're gonna start shipping toxic yuri melianca even harder <3

#this made my day #this ask gave me bottom emoji eyes!!! #DM me if you want babe #ask and ye shall receive #tw vent

[ratgingi]

some margo content because i need to figure out how to draw her more . plus some misc facts abt her under cut

i cant remember if i mentioned it before or not but she tends to change jobs often, she hasn't been fired from any but instead she will pick up jobs and quit them a few months later after she grows bored with them. the places in town she's worked at include the arcade (she worked there before exie, and exie only worked with her for a few weeks as by the time she started the job margo was already getting ready to work elsewhere), the petstore (it was her first job in town, and well before outis was in the picture), the funfair (she worked at one of the game stalls), and the mcphonalds (where she and juniper met). shes also worked at a couple places outside city limits. a good chunk of the places she's worked at are still open to her to go back to as she is a decent employee who works hard at her jobs and learns fast. there are a few places shed never even consider though either because theyd take too long to be qualified for or just seem generally uninteresting to her.

the tattoo/piercing parlor she currently works at wouldnt be a place youd get to actually visit in her route but would probably be mentioned in passing a couple times

while growing up whenever she would act too 'girly' her father would pay their neighbors to teach her more 'manly' things, so as a result she knows how to do a handful of more technical things like minor car repairs/put together furniture/etc, and also went through some fighting classes and stuff. shes also good at things like repairing clothes and cooking because addy made sure to teach her stuff like that as well

she also has a number of random talents/general things she can do from hobbies she got into and since dropped, things like crochet, gardening, baking, etc etc. she isnt Fantastic at any of them really but shes decent at them. jack of many ace of none type deal

adelaide was actually the one who helped her pick her name bc when she was trying to figure out what she wanted to be called she asked her if she had any ideas and addy told her that she'd had the name margo picked out for her before she was born

she likes doing puzzles and stuff, the bigger or more complicated the better. she has a couple 3d puzzle figures hanging out in her house but they change often as she gets bored of seeing the same ones. theres a closet in her hallway that has nothing but the boxes past puzzles she's finished stay in

she has a big heart, but because of her issues with connection she refuses to let her more caring side show in the hopes it'll help others not to get too attached to her. she isnt rude or anything like that and if someone is clearly in need of some sort of shoulder to cry on she tends to soften up but otherwise youre most likely to get a distant n cold politeness, she believes that by doing so shes doing you a favor and would rather keep herself closed off than hurt you if her whole attachment issue acts up. however if she doesnt like you she just flat out wont interact with you no matter how much you try. you could be standing in front of her waving your hands in her face and she'll act like you dont exist to the point of actually walking into you and not acknowledging it if need be

during her route the player would be able to accompany her to do things like run errands around town, which is sorta the sign that youve Made It because youre allowed to just sorta exist with her without her insisting you go do something else/trying to keep away from you yknow. her way of showing affection is pretty much just i allow you to exist near me/i choose to exist near you and on the surface literally stops there so

the only person she considers herself to be genuinely close to is her mother, and even then from a distance you wouldnt even really be able to tell that theyre close from her end. addys a pretty vocally affectionate person and is also the only person margo allows to do things like hug/pat her (addy still does so sparingly and asks before hand for the sake of margos comfort <3)

when she got her first tattoo she sorta did so in an effort to make herself commit to something but has since forgotten that motivation for them and now just likes getting them because they look cool

she has really pretty handwriting because she went through a phase where she was really into calligraphy. for technical things like letters/important papers/what have you she writes in print but otherwise she likes doing it really fancy and would probably be one of those people who writes stupid shit in fancy letters on tiktok

she has a big thing about honesty, as shes pretty good at telling when people are lying even if she doesnt really know them. this is partially why trying to lie and come up with a fake answer when asking her out would result in her turning you down bc 1. doesnt really seem interesting and 2. she can tell youre not telling her the truth and decides she has better things to do

#dialtown oc #jack dlc #hobos creations #dlc wiki #hi guys. percieve me wife

[blu-archer]

Just something in the air...

sickie: J/hope

Word count: 2243

Hayfever - sneeze/sickfic.

*Please ignore any grammatical errors (as usual), I'm sure they are there like always, by I really cant find them no matter how many times I read through this right now*

Anon Request.

Jhope has to manage hayfever at a fansign.

Hoseok liked to think that he was an optimistic person, he also liked to think that if he believed and worked hard enough on something that everything would eventually work out in his favour. That nothing would be so terrible that he wouldn’t be able to make it into a good time. 

How foolish he had been. 

Things had started to go wrong from the moment he’d stepped out of his front door and felt the subtle presence of an impending ache building in his temples. He hadn’t thought much of it at the time, brushing it off as a lack of sleep or too much caffeine from the day before, but damn was he thinking about it now.

The ache from before had grown more prominent and at some point during their group meeting that morning he had started sniffling to an excessive point where Jimin had slipped him his own emergency supply of travel tissues before quietly asking if he was getting sick. He wasn’t of course - or at least he hoped he wasn’t. It didn't feel like a cold, yet the idea of it still made him wary enough to swear not to do anything too tiring before their fanmeet. He couldn’t afford to be too reckless with his health, not when their schedule was as packed as it currently was. So he quietly blew his nose and sipped on his coffee until his headache subsided enough that he could almost forget about it completely.

*

It wasn’t until they’d all gotten dressed and were sitting down for hair and make-up that an itch in his sinuses decided to make an appearance, barely giving him any time to twist away from the stylist fixing his hair to sneeze rapidly into his hands. His face was burning as his breath sharply hitched and stuttered again, breaking into a small fit that left him blocked up and itchy. Yeah, this definitely wasn’t a cold. At least that was something to be grateful for in the long-run.

He quickly apologised before digging out the tissues from early to blow his nose. Thankfully he hadn't had his make-up done yet so he didn't have to worry about messing it up, although his nose seemed to twitch sensitively at the thought of anything touching it. Even the tissues left him fighting the persistent tickle.

“Do you want some medication, Hoba? Allergies?” 

He looked up from where he was buried into a tissue to see Jin holding out a small box and a bottle of water. The small smile he wore was both comforting and dampening. He appreciated the concern but he didn't want anyone to worry too much and he was prone to getting drowsy with most medicine. It wouldn’t be a great idea to fall asleep on Army, even if they probably wouldn’t mind. Anyway, his nose would be fine now that he’d blown it, he’d just need a few minutes to fully squish the problem and then he’d be ready to work. 

“It’s not anything strong, but it might help at least for the next few hours.” Jin pressed, as if sensing the oncoming denial.

But there was no point in fighting his hyung when his concerned side showed and he supposed that even if he was fine now, some precaution wouldn’t kill him. “Thanks hyung.”   

He swallowed the pills under Jin’s critical eye and blew his nose once more - making sure that he could breathe and tap at it without any alarm before letting the stylists continue working and thankfully that itch didn't resurface. Just like he’d hoped, it was like it hadn’t existed in the first place. 

*

“Hobi-hyung, are you feeling better?” Jungkook watched him with wide glittery eyes that made Hoseok almost coo at his effortless adorableness. How could Jungkook be so grown and still inflict his bambi eye power? It just didn't make sense.

“I’m fine now, Jungkook.” He promised, resisting the urge to mess up the younger boy's hair. Stylist-noona would probably cuss him out if he messed up something in their last few minutes before heading out. “The medicine I took is working, but I was already feeling a bit better.”

“It must have just been something in the air then.” Namjoon concluded as the rest of the members joined them by the door. Each of them enveloped in the same energetic excitement, ready to head out and interact with their fans. “But don’t burn yourself out today, okay? This heat is pretty intense, so stay hydrated. That goes for everyone.” He shot a pointed look towards Taehyung and Jin who had been drifting in their own conversation. 

Hoseok bit back a smile at the warning, pretty sure that they all knew already to be cautious of the heat. The managers had already informed them that water would be ready for them as well as shade - in which they had made sure the same was provided for the waiting fans - but he supposed that it didn’t hurt to be reminded.

They huddled close to the sides of the large set-up stage, casually peeking out at the growing number of people outside until finally they were given the okay to take their seats. Hoseok grinning widely as he heard a few fans called out to him, and waved energetically despite the humid air that was already making his skin sticky. 

The day wasn’t that great, alot of factors could have been better but he wasn’t going to stop smiling until it was over. He couldn’t even if he tried, through sheer force of will he was going to make this the best experience possible.

***

There was not a worse time to sneeze. 

Truly. 

He had been fine for the first hour and a half, falling into fanservice with glee as he spoke and wrote messages to Army, but it had seemed like his optimistic luck had run out.

His hands were both occupied by the fan seated in front of him, tightly grasped in the boy's hands as he had been trying to comfort and reassure him just seconds before. But god his sinuses burned. The need to sneeze had him tearing up as he tried to hold it back, but there was no way he was going to be able to. Muttering a hasty apology that he didn't even think made it half way from his lips, he turned his head to the side and tried to direct it into his shoulder. 

  “Eh’shh - HEH’SH…” -”Yah!”

Hoseok sniffled and blinked away tears to see a glaring Yoongi pouting at him with just the right amount of playfulness and concern. He couldn't bring himself to speak, only to retract one hand and direct his face into his elbow. “He’eichh -eh’IESH-ETSHHw!”

From his left he vaguely heard Namjoon bless him and lean over to smile at the fan that Hoseok had been speaking to. 

“Yah! Jhope, don’t sneeze on me!” Yoongi whined, causing a string of giggles to erupt from the young girl seated in front of him as a staff member instructed the line to move on.

“Bless you, Jhope-ssi!” The boy in front him bowed his head shyly, loosening his grip on the one hand of Hoseok’s that he still held. Hoseok made sure to squeeze it tightly before letting it drop, a silent thank you as he tried to catch his breath without triggering any more sneezes. 

“Hi! My name is Song Bora! Oppa, do you have a cold?” 

Hoseok shook his head as he took the album from her to sign, only for him to pause and turn away to sneeze into his arm once more. He sniffled and coughed out a small apology before signing the cover and returning his attention to the fan, trying his hardest not to be too distracted.

“Are you sure? You don’t sound good…You should rest lots!” 

Hoseok waved away her concerns, making sure to address the woman, probably her mother, waiting beside her as well. The little girl was actually quite adorable. Probably no more than eight, with wide innocent eyes and a cheery smile. “I promise it’s not a cold, but I will rest well just because you said so!”

“You should also eat lots of Juk and uh… Ggul-cha! Eomma always said to have that if you’re sick, and sleep and not so much outside stuff. ..” She paused, pouting for a moment as she looked back at her mother. “But he has to be outside. Will he get sicker now?”

“Bora-ssi,” He reached out to move a strand of hair out of the young girl's face, directing her attention back to him before her mother could even reply. “I promise I’m not sick, but tha-hh-thank you for looking out for me.”  He sniffed and took a sip of his water, hoping that it would wash away the irritation. “It’s just something in the air that’s bothering me today.”

He pushed through, directing the girls' questions elsewhere until the line moved on. As much as he wished for his nose to behave for just another half an hour, it was out of his control. His nose burned and his breath was hitching more often, so much that he was struggling to get through any conversations and was forced to mostly sit and listen to what everyone had to say - embarrassing himself thoroughly in the times that he did have to speak and ended up with a barely coherent sentence strung together with itchy, uncontrollable fits of sneezing.

A staff member had had to retrieve tissues for him after he spent the majority of the passing interactions trying not to sneeze on people and resorted to gentle patting at his streaming eyes with his wrist. The other members tried to cover for him in small brief comments and subtle jokes that momentarily distracted the fans from him as he tried to piece himself together, but nothing could really stop him from sneezing. It only progressed more and more the longer he was outside, and he was quickly becoming exhausted. 

He kept his smile, although he was sure that Army could see right through him, and tried his best to continue - limiting his physical interactions the more his symptoms became obvious. 

Once the last fan moved on from him to Namjoon, he got up from his seat and rushed behind the stage into the building. One of their managers had followed him, quick to help steer him into a bathroom and leave him to find something to help as Hoseok rested a hand on the bathroom wall to steady himself as he jolted forward into the crook of his arm with a harsh sneeze and irritating coughs that made his eyes stream even more than before. Everything felt heavy and each breath reminded him of that time he’d accidentally inhaled Jin’s finely ground  pepper when he’d been cooking. His nose had itched -buzzed with an insane amount of irritation that had left him honestly, close to tears - for at least 2 hours after that - and if anything, this felt worse. 

He slowly pressed his back to the wall and sank to the floor after grabbing for some toilet paper, just barely catching yet another exhausting fit, before blowing his nose enough times for a slight ache to set in. Yet his nose still twitched with sensitivity. He had to blink away tears only for them to return just as quickly.

“H’AISHH!” With eyes tightly shut Hoseok barely lifted his hand to his face, as if the energy had all but drained out of him, it was much easier to angle down into his lap. “Eh’igxt’ah - HATISHH’-eh.. heh’h’h’HESHH!”

With a damp, tingling sniffle he belatedly realised he needed to blow his nose again, and that whatever was causing his suffering wasn’t going to give up soon.

“Hoseok-ssi?”

He hummed a reply to the voice of his manager, then snapped forward again with a sneeze into his lap. Thankfully this time it was just once, but now he was afraid so much as a sniffle would set him off for the next round.

A gentle hand rested on his shoulder, forcing him to open his eyes once more and bring a sheepish hand to cover his face. His manager merely smiled and handed him some pills and water.

“It’s not much, but it's the strongest medicine we could find. It might knock you out, but you’re done with activities for the day.”

Oh how he wished he had taken this one earlier. 

He could have prevented embarrassment entirely, but no. He was just thankful that he’d at least taken the medicine Jin had given him earlier, or else his situation would have been even worse. 

Hoseok wiped gently at his nose with his wrist and quickly swallowed what he was given, washing it down with water before resting his head against the wall with defeat. 

“We should head to the cars.” His manager prompted softly. “The other members will still be out there for a few minutes, but we can put on the air conditioning and you can maybe get some rest. I think that will help.”

And honestly, he was in no place to deny anything if it could potentially stop his aggravation. 

“Do you think you’ll need anything else, Hoseok-ssi?”

He couldn’t seem to form a single concise thought that wasn’t about how tired and itchy he was, yet somehow he still managed to mumble a determined, “Tissues. Lots of tissues.”

#anon request #answered #bts sickfic #sick hoseok #hay fever #sneeze #bts snz #bts fanfic

[sheviolentlyher]

no thanks, i'll walk.

hello. it's me. again. I'm here and that says something, it means I want to say something but dont know what, and i need the creativity of writing mixed with the movement of thoughts to help soothe me.

I have my headphones on, which helps with the over stimulation. My mind is so crossed fired.

I think about everything all the time. everything. good thing I'm not an alcoholic, I think would start as a good drunk, living in the moment. But then I would turn into a bad drunk, living in yesterday.

I dont like living in the past. I wake up everyday trying to be a present as I can. Routine takes over, but I go against the grind. I am the grind. When there is no movement, I dont know how to be still. stillness is my suffering. idle suffering. it is why I like to come here and document my thoughts. it's healthy for me to read, but I never come back here to read this shit, because that's what it is, bullshit.

I'm convinced no one knows what love is. everyone wants to be repaid, and that has proven over and over again to end in tragedy, something we happen to be good at.

it seems humanity is really good at doing bad things. that's all we hear about yeah? evil. death. homicide. war. drugs. --- fuck me man. can you imagine if we only talked about the good. would more good happen? would we all be unprepared? would be forget about mortality for a fucking second? what happens when we remember how to live, or what it's like to be alive? why do we have to be so sadistic?

do we leave the holy things to the church? ha. I need ton do more diving on religion in general. theology, is it? yeah I wanna know. when was the first church built and what did they do there? how has this ritual continued for thousands of years? lol can you tell that I have been idle? my mind is a vampire. thirsty, so thirsty. And right now? it's just what I need.

lately I haven't been do much of anything. I feel a bit defeated from the last few months if I'm honest. there have been so many things I had to reverse in my thinking patterns. These kids cant get the best of me because I am always at my best, even when I'm not. there is no in-between for me. It's either I'm learning or teaching. there is no low. Low points do not exist for me. Only neutrality. Idling.

I cant believe how advanced we are. I cant believe that year after year we keep making the same fucking things. that just do more ridiculous and useless shit. More shit for us to reflect the artificial intelligence in it all. They want us artificial, that's why it's becoming easier to spot who is actually still human. I am lucky to have found few, and that's all you need, a few, I would even swear but just having one. you only need one human that makes you feel human, not artificial, or disguised. I'm tired of looking for reassurance in a world that is never sure of anything. again, detaching from the out come. ive been really proud of the progress I have been making, it moves slow because there are so many of us, I have to observe the adaptation process, take mental notes and adjust where I need to, or act according to personality. It's why I think I can rule the world. It's why I love being a woman. I live for community, togetherness, and cultivation.

how poetically unnoticed women go. they are noticed in all the wrong ways. I feel bad for the ones who are always under the spotlight. I really always do wonder if they are truly happy. Maybe the ones how have escaped it all. Hollywood loves its corruption. lol, if that paragraph was a map it would be all over the place.

I'm doing okay. I think.

-x

#diary #raw thoughts #thoughts into the void #inside my mind #writeblr #tumblr diary

[neverendingparable]

👍 Reccomended

5.3 hrs on record

As a mother of four, I loved The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe (Christmas Edition)! I had never played The Stanley Parable before, but my kid's invited me to play this version to get a 'festively-themed' understanding of the game. I think they were getting sick of me not getting there references. LOL!! Now, I finally understand all the 'Narrators' and 'Settings People' that they go on about, And I got to get in the Christmas spirit with it!

Would reccomend to anyone who wants a fun game to play or to understand what their 12 y.o is going on about now HAHA!!!!!

- Erica xoxxo

[ericareid38374]

👎 Not Reccomended

1.2 hrs on record

THIS WHOLE GAME IS A JOKE 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 I WAS TOLD I WOULD GET A CHRISTIAN STORY ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF DEVOTING YOURSELF TO YOUR JOB 🤬🤬 WHAT WERE THE DEVELOPERS THINKING MAKING THESE GUYS KISS FUCKING FUMING WE CANT SHOW THIS TOO OUR CHILDREN

ZERO STARS DO NOT PLAY !

[bg__seth_]

👎 Not Reccomended

9.0 hrs on record

'The Stanley Parable (Christmas Edition)' is certainly an interesting concept. I can see where the appeal might arise- that of expanding the game's horizons, or providing a furthering level of social commentary now the worldbuilding has grown more solidified in the face of TSP:UD. However, what the game represented was not this. The whole package reeks of desperation and pandering; pandering to an audience that I do not think truly exists. TSP:UDCE is a constant reusing, recycling and repackaging of concepts that were old and tired when they first appeared in the game, and are now simply sickening to see draped in Christmas lights and baubles and thrown in front of the player in lieu of anything new or innovative. This makes TSP:UD seem fresh and exciting, and I did not think even a full craniotomy could get me to type those words.

As a fan of the original TSP, it has been highly disappointing to see an idea that was once so impactful fall so far. TSP:UDCE reeks of desperate attempts to "play it safe"- but "playing it safe" has never been the subject of appeal that got the game where it was to begin with. If you want a "safe" game, I believe Hogwarts Legacy is on sale at this very moment.

I urge the creators to find a new market and new ideas, and to stop clinging desperately to the fifteen minutes of fame that the original provided.

I urge anyone else reading this to not waste your time with this product. In fact, I urge you to close your eyes and imagine you never saw it in the first place.

[goatscheese]

👍 Reccomended

0.4 hrs on record

👍

[iewis_]

👍 Reccomended

3.2 hrs on record

i loved the bit where the narrator was like "its The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe Christmas Edition)™ time and then Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe Christmas Edition)™ed all over the place

[thenarratorsgiantcock]

👎 Not Reccomended

6.6 hrs on record

didnf get to see the narrators Christmas socks. 0/10.

[auaighed7]

👎 Not Reccomended

3.4 hrs on record

STILL NO NARTATOR SEX SCENE

[gdsss888]

👍 Reccomended

5.6 hrs on record

Did you get the Christmas Broom Closet Ending? The Christmas Broom Closet Ending was my favourite.

[xxsaelsamainxx]

👍 Reccomended

9.3 hrs on record

booted up the game. game attempted to load 184 models of birds and immediately crashed. had to restart my whole computer 10/10 no notes

[hilly_b]

👍 Reccomended

3.4 hrs on record

Soaking my festive stanlurine in milk and throwing him at the wall

[fishussy89]

👎 Not Reccomended

4.7 hrs on record

I would say don't waste ur time on this but theres only like ten minutes of new content anyway

Lol

At least the devs made it free ig

[always__s1lent]

👎 Not Reccomended

2.2 hrs on record

WHAT THE FUCKKKK... WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABT THENFUCKING IMAGES DEVS WHAT THE HELL

[blackbirofl]

👎 Not Reccomended

4.3 hrs on record

let me kiss ulmar deluxe or else.COWARDSSSSS

[percyfi223]

#submission #hi its i. toby networksupported. waving at yall #igmore any issues with formatting here lol i uh its hard to do on mobile alight #anyway ulmar im so sorry abt every review here <3 #the stanley parable: ultra deluxe (christmas edition) #tspudce #tsp:udce #ulmar deluxe #tysm toby these are amazing

[jjackrabbitt]

hi!! this is rlly random but i wanted to know ur thoughts on the various loop sentences mentioned in mpmow! such as the tree kid being put on an island without trees, or the crazy ship loop that one peculiar was sent to (i think bc she pretended to be a ymbryne and killed some kids?). ik the book mentions that, since peculiars live for so long, the long sentences arent rlly much but i think the conditions they're put in r terrible and i cant help but go "wow this sounds like a pretty terrifying society to live in, when u ignore the already glaring issue hollows and wights".. but maybe im applying too much of a real-world lense to this silly little ya series. from ur posts, u seem to be someone who is willing to make a critique on how the lore is handled in a sociopolitical (am i using that word correctly???) sense, so i would love to hear ur thoughts!

Anon I am kissing you passionately. I am sorry it took me like three days to answer this but it was because I was too busy making out with you. I fucking love questions like these so much you can not imagine

Okay first of all I don’t believe that bull crap about “oh well we live so long that it doesn’t really matter” because that’s not how humans work. Even if you live to be really really old and dusty you are still a human person and will react to things in a human way. If you put a person, like the tree guy, in a situation where they are not getting some sort of need met they will suffer for it and it will follow a similar timeline to the same situation outside of a time loop. Actually it might even be worse for the person because we had it established in the first book that people stay mentally/physically/etc. pretty much the same as they were when they enter a loop so like who knows, maybe if you stick a person in there with any kind of psychological state then that’s just average now. So if you go in there feeling super terrible (because you murdered a guy, got convicted, and are in a new place without something you care about deeply) then idk, fuck you i guess??Be sad for 100 years. Intentionally putting people under psychological distress, especially for extended periods of time, is torture by the way. And as a horticulture student, that tree guy was right. Beyond that, i don’t agree with the current way prisons are used and don’t think that they should exist the way they do now. So I really don’t agree with how the ymbrynnic justice system seems to work.

I don’t think you’re applying too much of a real world lens to this book, it takes place in our world. Just because all the information ain’t there don’t mean you’re taking this too seriously. That’s one of my favourite ways to approach this book! I love looking at this stuff and thinking about how this would actually work! I could go into more detail but I don’t have the books in front of me at the moment. If anyone wants to talk about this more I’ll be glad to!!

#mphfpc #asks #unpopular mphfpc opinion hours

[melodythebunny]

Unfinished business

A bright stark light stunned his vision. Where he was he couldn't tell. But what he could gather by the blaring lights and dark surroundings it was some sort of interrogation room.

A sharp pain erupted on his side causing him to jerk upwards.

"Good. Your awake"

Due to the surrounding lack of proper lighting, steven didnt know who exactly was speaking to him. but the voice sounded familiar…

"Who are you?" He wheezes. They had tazed him. Talk about a rude awaking.

Lenses from glasses shined malicously as the person leaned forward. Still steven couldn't make out any facial features. Intentional. Can't properly attack what you cant see.

The mystery person smirked.

"Let's just say I'm the person in charge of this place."

Steven squinted trying to catch their face, getting up to see them better. Big mistake.

{{{{{           bbbbzzzzzttttt            }}}}}

He fell back onto his chair. He groaned in pain. Wasn't the worst thing he'd experienced but definitely disorienting.

"Incase you've forgotten what you've done is a federal crime. Stolen government property. Tampered with federal business. And posed a threat to national security." A sound of a folder closing echoed in the room. "And that's not even for your past criminal history. Shall i continue?"

Steven scoffed at their fake accusations "I've stolen nothing of-" 

{{{     bzzzzzztttttt     }}}

 His ribs hurt, breathing was difficult. Clenching his fist he glared at his unsee opponent.

"Our records here say otherwise."

"Excuse me?"

"Test Subject 013. Property of B.E.A.W. labs."

"My wife isn't your science project! And nor is she YOUR PROPERTY"

"Your wife's dead. And has been for nearly a decade."

"Liars."

"Believe what you want dr. Boxlietner. It doesn't change anything."

the brunet scowled. He didn't have time for this. Infact he was only putting up with it just to find his wife and get her back.

"We've looked past certain descriptances. however your attitude will not be tolerated"

Another zap. This time longer. He squirmed trying to get away but his body reacted too slow. Each time he was shocked it felt like energy was being drained from him.

A paper and pen was slid over towards him. He realized it was a contract. On surface level Upon closer inspection however it was clear there was more going on than hush cash. He wasn't the one to skip over fine print. And for this very reason.

In order for the so called 'compensation' to be given, Carrie or as they insisted on calling her 013 was not permitted to roam anywhere outside of fair city. Coming back twice every month for check ups. Medications for her to take daily. (Schedule will be mailed every week) 

Failure to follow meant immediate repossession and the rest of his lifetime behind federal bars. And not only that they were going to take away his kids.

He hated how they kept referring to a human being like an object/animal. He noticed how they didn't even bother asking her consent to any of this.

Steven knew whatever these check ups and medicine were was cover ups for whatever sick experiments they had planned.

"You either comply or you don't. Either way we always get what we want." The voice was all too cheerful. Like they were getting amusement watching him suffer. it was disgusting. He gripped the edge of his seat in silent rage.

'Keep it together steven, get Carrie out of here first…revenge after' he reasoned. He rubbed his face in irritation. He rather not put her through any of this in the first place. 

He did not have a choice in the matter.

With deep disdain, he printed his name on the document. The lights went out shortly after.

…

All of THAT took place god knows how long ago. Time didn't seem to exist in this place or at least move the same way. Steven was STILL stuck sitting in the room. 

He wondered… 'what now?' Seeing they hadn't let him go yet.

One of the men came back, covered in bruises, his arms, and his shoulder had a few bite-shaped bruises and scratches.  

They were holding her somewhere nearby then. And just she was as or even more so angier than steven was.

The guard motioned him to follow. So he did.

"Remember our agreement" the voice, the same one from before taunts over the PA system. He rolled his eyes. Like he could forget. He was practically tortured into signing it.

He was lead into a hallway. Different marked doors all lined the walls. He didn't have time to read them as he was escorted away. And by escorted- he was shoved. 

They didn't trust him and frankly the feeling was mutual.

The security was a bit overzealous in his opinion. Whatever else was behind those doors they did not want just anyone walking in. They all seemed to require special key cards each different than the last.

He knew what door was Carrie's.

Steven could feel her anger radiating past the thick door to the farthest right. It gave off the feeling of impending danger, like entering a room knowing fully well there was a feral animal on the other side, just waiting to tear into the first person who open it.

And lo and behold it had to be him. He hesitated for a moment before turning the door knob. 

Carrie was hunched over. Her arms holding her bunched up legs. A low hiss escaped her lips.

Seeing her there gave him a startled feeling the moment his eyes met hers. Her gaze was intense, focused, and filled with fury. It made him feel like he just came face to face with a caged animal, ready to snap its jaw wildly, it was intimidating, even to him.

Even in her drugged state, she was on high alert. 

"Hey Carebear,’ He greeted with a wide smile, opening his arms to her. He was relieved she was okay for the most part.

Carrie did not move, if anything Steven just insulted her by acting as though she were to embrace him. She was still VERY angry with him. Their last interaction wasn't very pleasant. 

She had avoided him as two brains. And even after he had that horrid mouse brain removed she gave him the silent treatment. It was his fault mostly. He could be obvious at times. Especially whenever cheese was involved. It had hurt them both.

In return She had hurt his pride. And being the petty one at the moment he didn't apologize…he knew where she was so he didn't feel the need to look for her.

Why hadn’t he looked for her?

That was all she had wanted.

Carrie wanted to be seen by him, given acknowledgment that she existed to him.

It nearly cost him losing her again. Something he didn't want to experience for another round.

He bit his lip. How many times would she let him hurt her till she finally had enough and tore out his throat?

"We can go home. You're safe-"

“I’m not.” Her tone was like ice.

"They're not going to let me go.." She hissed. The room suddenly felt colder than it already was. He shivered. "they're NEVER going to leave me alone…"

He wondered if she knew about the contract..how she would react….

DEFINITELY would be clawing him to pulp.

It was these moments he'd remember how unstable and dangerous she could get when angered. He wasn't scared however. Worry and the feeling of wanting to comfort her was the strongest.

Slowly he reached out and hugged her.

Carrie looked at him, her eyes were still cold, but regardless, she accepted his embrace. A sign that she wasn't ticked off at him..at least not in the moment.

"Steven please don't-" a faint sob. "Don't let them take me away…they're going to hurt me again" 

Her rage slowly melted into sorrow...beneath her ferocious mask was really just a broken woman. Wanting to be fixed and whole again. Her voice Quivering.

"No." Steven said firmly. "I won't let them harm you again."

".....you promise…?"

"I promise."

Steven felt her finally relax, succumbing to whatever drugs they gave her. Neither of them had any proper sleep the last few nights. He didn't feel like sleeping, his mind was elsewhere.

With a sigh, he gently wiped her tears away, wishing he could wipe all their problems away aswell.

The former villian scooped up his wife, Wordlessly passing by her tormentors. As much as he wanted to burn the place to the ground, he knew it would cause more harm than good. They'll get what they deserve later. For now he had more important things to worry about. And kids to check up on.

@ninjastormhawkkat @liloskull343 @drtwobrainsstuff

#my writting #wordgirl #wordgirl au #steven boxleitner #carrie #next gen au #wordgirl next gen #my fanfic #experimental cheese #kindaaaa a prolouge to the au....? sorta...?

[yellingaboutmasseffect]

Writer’s First Line Game

Rules: post the first sentence of your last ten fics. If you haven’t written ten fics, share as many first sentences as you have.

Tagged by @stormikins​ thank you very much!

No pressure tags: @skittidyne​ @jasper-the-menace @littjara-compleated-sage

“Love From The Other Side” - (Magic the Gathering) Two planeswalkers find themselves on opposite sides of the Phyrexian invasion as they both do whatever it takes to make it back to each other and those they love.

“When others told us what to expect in Urborg, no one told us to expect hospitality.”

“From Sparks to Flame” - (Mass Effect)  Artemis Shepard never set out to become an Alliance hero, let alone the first human Spectre, but an unfeeling cycle has begun anew on Eden Prime. She has to get her team to not only trust her but also each other which is easier said than done. Part one of a story about how love and bonds (with the guns they find along the way) save the galaxy.

Later, when people asked Shepard how everything started, they were often disappointed with her answer.

“Beauty and the Furnace Beast” - (Magic the Gathering) A fairy tale inspired story about Ayara and Urabrask fall in love during the Phyrexian invasion of Eldraine.

“In all my years, I have never seen the sky this way,” Ayara said, looking at the odd voids in the sky.

“The One With The Lipstick Incident” - (Mass Effect) A gift written for @angstyastro​ featuring her Shepard, Isani. Thane is thankful for the continued blessings the Gods bestow on his family but that doesn’t mean he isn’t nervous or that things will go smoothly.  With Isani Shepard giving birth to twins, things were bound to get a little out of hand.

Thane would never fathom why the Gods chose to favor him as much as they had— even if this most recent blessing seemed to be a trial into itself.

“Things That Were And Never Will Be Again”- (Magic the Gathering) Ajani and Elspeth meet on Dominaria, not knowing they will soon be on opposite sides of the looming conflict about to beset the Multiverse.

Elspeth. She was here on Dominaria and alive.

“Same Song, Different Verse” - (Mass Effect) In a different universe, Council Spectre Garrus Vakarian is investigating Saren when he is shot down over Earth. He is found by Shepard and the two of them have to work together as other turians try to hunt him down as they try to rescue his informant, Tali.

Garrus could just hear his father’s voice berating him as he looked at the view of Vancouver.

“Reunion” - (Fallout 4) Nate didn’t die when he was shot by Kellogg. If only it was that simple. Now a ghoul, he’s come to accept his new life but a chance meeting at the Third Rail Bar changes everything as he comes face to face with who his wife is now.

“There’s your shares boys. Don’t spend it all in Goodneighbor, even you, ghoul.”

“In the End” - (Fallout 4) When Shaun decides that his mother should no longer be allowed to be influenced by the surface, he decides to keep her at the Institute with a synth copy of her husband, Nate, to keep her “comfortable”. As time goes on, Nate begins to realize just how cruel that was as the pieces fall into place for the beginning of the end.

He had been made as a replacement for her. It was simply a fact of his existence. Made in the image of her dead husband, Nate. He was a gift to her from their leader, Father, as she transitioned to her new life in the institute. 

“More Than a Name”- (Transformers: Prime, Shattered Glass) An old one I am still proud of so I am throwing it here instead of my 9th fic

When a mission goes wrong, Starscream is forced to explore some harsh truths about himself and his views on the Vehicons under his command.

“Sir…I found him! Guys help me out!”

“Love in the Age of Gods” - (Smite) I cant believe this one squeaks in. I wrote it for my future wife.

Arachne and Serqet have been seeing each other for awhile but Arachne doesn't dare hope that it will last. Despite expecting the worst, Arachne isn't ready when she sees the end draw near. Serqet sees the situation in completely different light.

“That was completely unnecessary. We’re fighting but we’re not completely uncivilized.”

#yellingwrites #Magic the Gathering #Mass Effect #Transformers Prime #Fallout 4 #Shattered Glass #Smite #didn't include my 9th fic because while I am proud of it there is some emotions tied up with it

[calebwittebane]

its impossible to talk about being a survivor of incest with anyone except other survivors of it and by that i mean youll still find lots of people among them with 0 compassion who project their internalized victim-blaming and self-loathing onto others as a coping mechanism. its impossible to have any kind of constructive discourse about it openly because everyones so focused on loudly projecting their personal opinion on What Should Be Done and how disgusted they are and whatever cospiracy theory is trending this time. everyone wants to punish offenders and no one wants to listen to survivors, because its easier to sound like a tough guy being Hard On The Bad People than it is to show empathy and listen even if its difficult and contradicts what youve been made to believe. the preferable state of things for the general public is Never Talk About It. shooting squad for the messenger. to say that the legal system is no help is such an understatement, most of us dont even begin to think about bringing it into the situation in the first place. we're too busy surviving and being so fucking alone and made to feel absolutely crazy 24/7 and understanding that if you even try to open up a little too much youll be shunned by people you thought you could trust. in the end youre just left apologizing to people for being such a bummer all the time. or you try not to be and you feel like a wild animal performing for an audience that would have you put down if you stopped being entertaining. everyone and their mother seems to have an opinion on what youve been through and topics related to it like its a pineapple on pizza type debate. like they dont have to know anything, like theres nothing to know. to them its so simple: some people are bad and do bad things and what matters is punishing those bad people and what also matters is their potential future victims we have successfully protected by doing so. it doesnt matter that most of those bad people are made up, and the real specific ones that are brought up dont even constitute 1% of the actual offenders. and what especially doesn't matter is the existing victims. especially the adult victims. the adult victims who cant get a job, who are unstable, who dont even know how to talk about their experiences, who aren't able to just valiantly hide everything and then go to therapy once a week and cry their eyes out. the adult victims who want to talk about their experiences but no one wants them to. the adult victims you cant hold and pity and lament how small and defenseless they are, because to see the smallness and defenselessness youd have to look past the grown adult in front of you and this just doesnt have the pathos. this is just a pathetic weirdo who needs to grow up. a pathetic weirdo whos so joyless and potentially dangerous for being critical of the construct of The Family, who just wants to be miserable, who has ideas and thought processes and experiences no one wants to hear about. whos probably making it all up anyway. i mean they didn't talk about it for so long. they spent painful decades sleepwalking through life and pushing everything into a small dusty corner of their mind and cut themselves into smaller pieces every day all so they could avoid ruining everyones fun, everyones family photos, everyones memories, everyones day, everyones mood. they made it up for attention.

#csa tw #ranting rambling lamenting etc

[uh-e-rinnie]

rpg au notes cuz i need somewhere to drop them ahahaha

Virge's species is unknown, even to him. He has no idea wtf he is, he just knows he kinda existed one day.

That being said, he doesn't have a biological family as far as he knows, though he did grow up with a family.

He grew up in a hot place, which explains the skin showing. He sunbathes a lot, a practice he got from the family he grew with.

Logan is literally just a really fucking smart dude who got hit by a star one day and got magic.

He geniunely doesn't believe that to be the case, thinking it was just a coincidence he was hit by magic and it activated his ownt hat may have been hidden.

he still cant stop that story from going around though lmao.

he really loves his students but isnt fond of fellow professors.

Both his parents have passed already, but he visits his hometown and their graves every so often. Pat and Ro have seen the graves already, Virgil comes with them the next time.

Logan and Virge have an incidental mentor-student relationship.

Virgil loses feathers a lot, but never seems to run out of them. Logan collects them to figure out what Virge is, Patton collects them cause they are pretty. Roman collects them cause everyone else is too.

Virgil's hissing habit is developed from the family he grew up with.

They all first meet Virgil after Patton accidentally shoots his wing thinking he was a big bird beast.

Patton has apologized 50 times. Virgil tells him its nothing new.

Patton and Roman are both heirs in their own ways, Patton as next in line for Head Chief of Creare (unspecified animal)folk and Roman as king.

Though Patton is the original heir, Roman wasn't. It was originally Remus before he booked it lmao.

There is an unfinished mural next to the wall of Roman's room.

Patton literally lives in the water, he knows all the water ways and paths around creare. He's snuck into the castle through the water systems once.

Patton made Logan discover certain berries and partially regrets it.

Virgil has become a clock.

Roman, who spent a lot of his life sword fighting regularly, still cant stop hitting shit with his sword accidentally.

Patton has physically had to pick up Logan and jump out the window in an attempt to get him out of his damn office. He was smiling the whole time.

Logan has asked Patton to spit in a tube for some magical bullshit. No questions were asked.

As tradition, any unrecorded species entering creare must be brought to the castle for observance and analysis. Roman, both annoyed and amused, had spent 2 hours trying to get Virgil into a cage.

"Is the cage necessary" "Dad's orders please just lets get it over with" "Your dad's a bitch"

Giving Virgil the *slap of reality* treatment where everyone sees him like how they see fanon v just less annoying lmao. docile quite tiny dude who kinda seems shy.

and then they see him try to wrestle a boar and spitting out some of the sharpest curses one day and yup, there he is. go gremlin go.

Ill write about Janus and Remus eventually but i guess dark side angst

#rin tss rpg au #delete lateeeerr maybe?