#i think im gonna go the distance this time

[octoberautumnbox]

Yuri is lucky that she could go to Hyewon's place whenever she needs to washup lol. Can't imagine Yuri's face when she discovered the roach in her bathroom 🤣🙈

What if Yuri goes over to Hyewon's place...

And Hyewon still insists on giving you head when Yuri is only a short distance away in the shower 😳

"Hyewon... Ah...Now's not the best time, Yuri will hear us! She could be coming out anytime soon!"

"So what? Who said the bathroom is the only thing I'm sharing with Yuri today 😉"

Yuri's look of hunger when she sees the moment you're cumming uncontrollably inside Hyewon's throat. Your eyes watery and Hyewon has her whole face pressed against your crotch while your body spasms from the stimulation 🙊

Even though I'm gonna embarrass myself horribly, I don't think I could turn down Hyewon's offer 🤤

a/n: thanks for the ask frisky! to this day it's still wild to me how they did a post-bath/shower scene in Yuri's photobook but im literally the last one on this planet to complain 😋

~~~

"Aish, you two," Yuri says while running her fingers through her hair. "You couldn't wait for me?" She takes a seat next to you and leans her head on your shoulder, staring lazily at your cock.

"You were taking forever. He was getting bored." Hyewon licks her lips as she says it, savoring the taste of your cum. She makes a show of it by dragging her tongue all along her plump lips, and the blatant attempt to try and get you hard again is regrettably working.

Your reply comes in the midst of ragged breaths: "Don't... pin this all on me. I wanted to... wait for everyone to... be ready."

The older girl takes your hand and starts sucking your index finger, giving it the same love she gave your cock just moments ago. The younger, on the other hand, giggles at her valiant efforts to get you going again and decides to help her out.

Yuri takes your other hand and places it over her breasts, only a thin fabric in between her chest and your fingertips. Even then, you can feel her soft and perky tits through her top, and the playful pinches you deliver on her nipples cause them to stiffen in pleasure. You watch as they start to poke against the fabric, and she catches you ogling her. With a smirk, she let's out a cute moan to signal her pleasure.

Hyewon, not wanting to be one-upped, takes her place on your other side. She pulls her top off, revealing in tantalizing slowness of the skin of her tummy and chest. Once it's all off, she takes the same position as Yuri and makes you cup her boobs too. Her nipples stiffen in the same way, and her moans at how you play with her body spur all three of you on.

With a knowing look shot at each other, the girls decide wordlessly on a two-pronged attack. Hyewon's delicate fingers wrap around your cock and give long, slow strokes, while she goes in and takes your lips with hers. At the same time, Yuri leans down and starts licking and kissing the tip of your dick, making sure to leave her spit and help her unnie out.

Your tongue and Hyewon's swirl around each other, forcing more moans out of her, while Yuri's soft lips place kisses on your head and shaft wherever she can reach. She takes your cock in her mouth as best she can, trying her hardest to share with her unnie's hand instead of taking you all the way to the back of her throat for herself.

You wonder for a moment how you got two of the most beautiful idols on the planet this needy for you. How on earth did you get to the point where they're so willing to share you between themselves, allowing you to grope their bodies and suck your cock as if they were your own property to do what you please with?

But that doesn't matter now. You find both Hyewon and Yuri with two of their own fingers inside their cunts, rubbing their walls at the pace you set as you play with their boobs. Hyewon grows careless with her kiss, growing sloppier by the minute, not caring how much of your shared saliva falls out of your mouths. Yuri's moans deliver just the right vibrations to your cock growing needier with each lick of your slit. She frantically tries even harder to take more of you into her mouth, her common sense slipping away from her.

You try to warn Yuri that you're close, but Hyewon never lets up. Each time you try and pull away, all she does is pull you back and make you squeeze her soft tits harder. You do the same with Yuri, pinching her nipples harder and groping her more roughly, and it drives her wild. You're not sure if it delivers the message you wanted it to, but you slowly forget as your orgasm arrives.

Hyewon feels the way your cock throbs and immediately lets go, only to force Yuri down onto your crotch. Yuri welcomes it and takes you all the way, licking your shaft as much as she can, savoring your taste and the hard work she put into this load she's about to take. You don't disappoint, and suddenly her mouth is flooded with your thick and warm cum. She tries taking all of it in, but inevitably she lets a few drops fall out with the sheer amount of it. Still, her tongue works overtime to extract every single drop you can give her, and each thrust into her mouth-pussy sends away another thought in her head to be replaced her desire for you and you alone.

Two orgasms so far into the night, and they haven't even started getting serious. You start to get nervous, but they reassure you that everything from here on out is all just mindless fun.

"Don't worry, oppa," Yuri sighs dreamily, obviously still in the ecstasy of getting her face fucked, "we're gonna have so much fun."

"Yeah, just relax and fuck us like you always wanted to." Hyewon punctuates each word with a kiss on your neck. "I promise we'll play nice, unless you want us not to."

~~~

a/n: holy shit wait a minute is this my first threesome fic??

#girl group smut #kpop smut #izone smut #jo yuri smut #kang hyewon smut

[val-cansalute]

summary: - a prologue of sorts - you and ellie will never be the same. the words you exchange are so deep seated and visceral, an accumulation of all the hurt. hers are telling; the love she gives is nothing like yours, nowhere near as intense, nowhere near as desperate. she’s closed off to you, and she may never be open again. she’s leaving town before it is even given a proper ending, to go on tour now that her music career is taking off. this is the end. at least for a few years.

warnings: not rlly proofread bc i ball too hard, angst with no comfort yet, dw it’ll come, ellie is dealing with trauma, references to sex.

an: every now and then i remember that alcohol exists but then i drink it and remember why i didnt drink it for ages. i hate alcohol. this shit is reaaaaally short cuz it’s just some context for the main story. it’s not really necessary to read but i wrote it anyway just because. unfortunately for me, bc whenever i start a story i get rlly anxious until its over, the next one prolly won’t be coming for a while since im gonna be travelling for a bit and i got quite a lot of stuff going on: love you guys, stay safe, never stop talking about palestine. do your clicks. :-)

masterlist

When you first saw Ellie, there were embers in her eyes - front of the pub, she didn’t even need a stage as she sang her heart out. Her captivating nature was enough to elevate her. Everyone else in the room faded to grey in the background, nothing more than a lively buzz punctuating the atmosphere. You were enraptured.

And she was too.

Hesitant glances from across the room at the same time each week, the music and the feeling was electric. The flush of her cheeks melted into the splotches of red from the sweltering heat each time she met your eyes. You sat on that same barstool; she stood in that same spotlight.

And when you started seeing each other, there were so many moments where you felt like your love for her was uncontainable. It spewed out of your pores and overwhelmed your senses every time she was near, even in spite of her soft and reserved demeanour.

It had a hold on you. Each time your lips met, it always became visceral for you, slow and sensual movements transforming into borderline aggression, tongue desperately searching her insides and tearing all the petals off the rose that was in her mouth. You wanted to consume her, suck her up and hold her in the comfort of your rib cage. She was everything to you.

And she was bound to fame. You knew it would come. She was made of stardust, and an aura so golden it would burst if confined in small town pubs any longer.

Sometimes, you gently trace the ridged edges of the polaroid pinned to your wall and feel a pool of warmth gather inside you at the feeling of familiarity her younger face brings. Her face, back then when her eyes seemed greener, her cheeks seemed fuller, her voice seemed clearer. It’s a sick feeling: nostalgia, remembering the way your intensity felt and what it has become.

If you stare too long, you’ll watch the grainy photograph melt and churn, the hues of her skin becoming duller and sunken inwards.

The house is quiet. It’s a silence so dense, you’re almost fooled into thinking Ellie isn’t home. But she is. She’s there, like a ghost lingering in the cracks of your walls.

It feels cold, with a lingering scent of whiskey and a heavy silence that creaks in the hollows of your ears, even for the weeks at a time that Ellie is home.

Maybe it’s a sick thought to have about the woman you would give up your life for, who you would do anything for, who you love more than anything in the world millions of times over, but you prefer it when there’s a distance between the two of you these days. Playing into that constant facade of everything being okay drains you of all your worth and for no return. Ellie gave up on it a while back. It’s just you prancing away solo on that stage now, like some jester.

You’ve become a slave to it, lost yourself out at sea trying desperately to make things okay, whatever that means. She'll never talk to you about it. There’s only scraps left to hide but she clings to them like they’re her lifeblood, tearing them away from you as if you’re just some stranger. Some stranger who watches her crumble to pieces and put herself back together, like she’s a damn mix and match, each time the memories come back to surface in her mind. You beg for more, for crumbs of her resolve but she’s gone. Not coming back.

Nothing has been okay. Nothing has ever been the same since Joel died. Ellie has never been the same. That day, he left and took a piece of her with him. A piece you know you’ll never get back.

There’s no room for argument, what is between the two of you is like glue that barely sticks, so you keep yourself deathly still and hold your breath with a pounding heart and complete desperation, not wanting to ruin anything further. But there’s so much you have to say, and no time to say it.

Instead, you watch her pull further away, see her eyes become duller, notice her absence get longer, feel the sex get colder, watch everything warp and twist and writhe until you’re beyond the point of no return. Until you’re not sure you trust her, or yourself, or the concept of anyone truly loving you the animalistic and self destructive way you loved them at any point in time.

It’s lonely on that island, watching her drift away, the person you thought completed you, she felt incomplete regardless of your presence.

You know the glue has faded when she turns to face you from the foot of the bed, looking so far away as she speaks.

"What? You're moving to LA?" She looks down at the fingers she’s twiddling, and takes a deep breath before continuing.

"Yeah, Max said it wa-"

"Well, how long?" You cut her off, already rising from the bed and moving closer. She meets your eyes but the look she gives doesn’t satiate your anxiety in any way, despite how you beg it to.

"... About that, we were thinking it might be… indefinite for now..."

Your heart stills in your chest and the blood rushes from your head. She can’t even look at you.

"Ellie. What the fuck… How are you just gonna dump this on me now? W-what about us? What are we gonna do? I already barely see you anymore,"

"I... I'm sorry but, I gotta do this. You know I do, if I'm gonna make a caree-"

Desperation takes over, your palms quivering erratically beneath you,

"Ellie… I know you care about your career, but, God, we've been together for so long. I love you so much, please don't do this to me,"

She raises her gaze to the ceiling and forces the lump down the dry, tight hollow of her throat,

"It's not forever, babe, I’ll come home.”

But you’re already shaking your head in dismissal of her blatantly dishonest words,

"You and I both know that that is not true. You’ve been desperate to go since it happened and I know I’m just an obstacle now.“

"That’s… That’s not true. I really can’t do this right now."

"You never can. And it’s because I fucking know you're not coming back, Ellie! And I'm not gonna sit around, waiting for you to call, only ever hearing about you through other people when we’ve been together for so many fucking years! I want you to be happy more than anything-“

"We can call.”

"But you fucking won't! And you're always drunk! You need to talk to me, Ellie, we're never gonna be okay if you don't!”

“I can’t be okay when I’m trapped here! All I can think about is him! I don’t eat, I don’t sleep!”

"But this isn’t gonna make anything better! We have something here! We said we would start a family together, Ellie… LA; you would never have wanted this… Okay? Joel would never have wanted this!"

She gets up and turns without a second thought at the sound of his name and your blood pressure spikes in complete desperation.

"Ellie, Ellie, please. I'm sorry. We can work through this, I promi-"

“I have to go.”

“No, you don’t! You aren’t being fair! You shut me out! You shut everyone out! I’ve been trying so fucking hard!"

"I know, and I’m fucking sorry, but I can't stay here, there's nothing left for me! I love you-"

Your voice is quiet and quivers with emotion that lulls her in, begging her to see that you need her - that she has always come first to you even if you’ve become secondary to her,

"Then prove it. Stay."

But her mind is already made up.

"… I can’t…”

You’re shaking your head,

“I have to do this.”

No, this is seriously the end.

“I'll come home."

You stop shaking your head and look at her.

“No. I can't wait around for you, Ellie, not when we’re like this. If you do this, it's over."

"That's up to you."

The rest of the night seems blurry to you. A deep despair festers to the brim of your skull. You can’t bring yourself to move once she’s gone, can’t bring your mind to calm itself down.

But once you do, the house is plunged into the darkness you encounter. The weight of Ellie still hangs thick in the air and lingers like a whine in the creaks of cold floorboards. As you leave the house you shared with Ellie, you pass through each room, switching the light on and then off, from top till the bottom, until you reach the last.

Click,

and then you leave, once and for all.

Pass round the bend and then by the sea. Watch the waves rise and then crash into each other, right where Ellie used to plant her feet beside you.

more pics of my cat bc she’s just so adorable 😩

#ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie the last of us #tlou2 #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x reader #fanfic #Spotify

[mamaangiwine]

I haven't been posting because I have been doing one single ritual for *weeks* (actually months now) and I have failed two times to do it consistently.

This is my third attempt. To fail again would mean cleansing myself and reorienting myself, because I cannot fail. It is not an option.

It is taking up all my time and space for magic and mystical thought.

Regardless though, I'm learning a lot...but c'mon. Who does this to themselves?

#magic #ritual #personal #oh gods #i think im gonna go the distance this time #but at what cost #hopefully not jinxing myself

[oifaaa]

I saw some of your two jasons/clone AU and I genuinely thought you were continuing the markiplier joke and now Jason had a clone who Ra’s and Talia just like. plopped fake memories in and set loose idk. and decided to become a youtuber.

Anon please could you not spoil the ending of my clone au that's very rude of you Jeez now I've got to come up with a whole new ending

#ask #anon #im joking im joking #tho i did think about doing this as a joke #og jason shows up #and its like one of those movie tv plot lines #where theyre like #what are you gonna do now mr clone #and clone jasons like #dont worry about me im gonna go persue my real dreams #and then walks off into the distance #only to show up as the famous youtuber markiplier #with og jason realising fuck that could have been him #... why is it i can picture this plot line happening multiple times #but cant actually name the media it appears in

[felixcosm]

I think Distance From Me is my most looped song of last year and it certainly will be of this year too and I never get tired of hearing it. Every time I'm blown away by how beautiful Dylan's voice is in this song

#distance from me #thats right ive talked about it so many times by now that its getting its own tag #dylan griggs #the top song to stare out a window to #sometimes i just go over to the river so i can listen to the song and look at the clouds #like its a beautiful song on its own but also with the context of the show #i dont think its officially confirmed to be mikey? but its basically a mikey/edgar song to me #woe.begone #i wasnt gonna main tag this but since im talking about the show i might as well

[luxsea]

i heard karlachs monologue was rlly good but holy shit i genuinely dont think i'll be the same after that

#olive.txt #bg3 spoilers #spoilers in tags !! #samantha seriously deserves an award that was soul wrenching #i think back in interviews where they talked abt karlachs trauma and how she reverts into a scared child #the whole encounter w gortash was very much that #and he speaks down to her and calls her a brat #imagine saying ''what do you know about the greater good'' TO THE LIVING EMBODIMENT OF GOOD #he doesnt care what he did to her at all but she does care!! he betrayed her and stole her future and there is no closure! #well i felt pretty satisfied i casted a dancing scroll on him and let karlach go to town *youre gonna go far kid plays in the distance* #her pain and anger is so understandable no one deserves this especially not her #the delivery of ''my heart. it was mine. and they took it'' is so incredibly natural and heartbreaking. this scene gave me actual heartburn #shes seemed pretty confident abt dying but i guess in her own words courage isnt fearlessness :( #ugh the part where she just wants you to tell her everything will be alright and that you can save her!!! so cruel larian! #for a character that lost their heart she sure as hell didnt lose her soul </3 #''THANKS FOR LISTENING. FOR EXISTING. LOVE YOU.'' #yeah was not prepared for what im guessing is the romantic version of her scene back at camp #idk why i thought they wouldnt address it but wow when she asks if youll stay w her when its her time to go. im in shambles #might take back some of my opinions abt her endings. its still cruel she doesnt get a Happy ending but its being handled rlly well so far

[inkedmyths]

Well. Those sure are Fest results, huh.

...Anyways, anyone know if we have Frostyfest next month—

#ink thinks #handshake vs fistbump vs hug #splatoon #splatfest #gotta say im not as bitter bc i'm always for a non-popular-vote win bc its nice to see that popular vote Doesn't Always Win #and also i wasn't super invested this fest but maaaaan i rlly thought that we were gonna get a win this time :( #at least frye got a win in the japan fest. everyone say thank u japan. #brooo and the way the dialogue they're going out of their way to cheer frye up 😭 my sweet baby doesn't deserve thissss #anyways. i was expecting big run next month but maybe it'll be another Winter Holidays 2 parter #Big Run and then Frosty Fest #god i hope they string up cute holiday lights for Big Run too bc it would be hilarious #jingle bells playing as sirens blare in the distance

[arsenicflame]

my brain never lets me rest so anyway today ive been thinking about how the sera + angela scene in asgardians of the galaxy would translate excellently to bellhands

it wouldn't be an exact translation but i could see something like:

the crew of the wyddah and the revenge fighting (for some reason idk), they dont realise who the other side is exactly, but then izzy yells to stand down, finally realising who the other crew is (maybe hes just appeared on deck) only for stede, obviously not knowing what the hell is going on, starts yelling at izzy, but by this point sam has heard izzys voice and is throwing himself across the ship to get to his husband (and now theyre making out and stedes just like. yeah alright)

#this is peak i am my own target audience #i am the only person in the overlap on a venn diagram of people who have read AOTG and people who like bellhands #but since my brain shoved this idea into my head i CANNOT stop thinking about it i need to say it out loud im so sorry for being like this #nyxtalks #ofmd #bellhands #sam bellamy #izzy hands #israel hands #im sorry ignore me im exorcising the brain demons #this kinda scenario fits in a pirate school™ kinda setting- theyve known each other forever theyve been MARRIED forever #yeah theyre both off doing their own things rn but they are still married and stupid in love #theyre the epitome of distance makes the heart grow fonder #izzys gonna go back to izzying after the greeting time has worn off but sam is gonna be All Over Him still

[decoyfinalgirl]

unsure if anyone gaf on this app but since all ive drawn for a while is this woman's characters i just want it be known i do not fuck with emma roberts as a person after the shit she did to angelica ross

#so fucking vile and the people in response to the situation god so many in this world need to explode #for the time being im gonna draw other things #truth be told i dont think i could fully let go of jill as a character but i think some distance is needed rn

[angel-of-sweet-revenge]

Normal people: vent about their feelings in a diary or blog post

Me: makes a whole ass zine at nearly midnight

#okay so i was CONSIDERING the vent zine #and then um something and then i was like “yeah no i cant rest until i get this out” #so i sat down and made this vent zine that's gonna embarrass me next year lmao #am i okay? ... actually I'm trying to be okay now #I'm just questioning something about someone #sorry to keep referring back to That Thing it's just been on my mind a lot #even before that vent post for a while now i was wondering if everything really was okay. if it was making me okay. #because i dont want to be selfish and abandon someone when they need me. I've been abandoned before. #but it's been going on like this for a while and I'm taking too much of it in #i cant even see their name on my phone or like receive a message without going through mini heart attacks wondering if something's wrong- #-again and if i need to hear another drama again #it kind of feels uncomfortable as well in a way. like they're oversharing and that I'm not supposed to be knowing so much #maybe that's just me though. maybe im automatically distancing myself without realising it? #i dont know i just want to hide and not be so... involved i guess? #i think maybe I'm a person more suited to lighter friendships. or maybe there's been so much heaviness that this is just too much now #i dont know. i dont hate them at all but i wouldn't be too upset if they ghosted me (maybe thats just how i feel right now) #i dont know if I'm running away from my problems instead of trying to fix them or something #i have fixed them before. i have communicated and fixed issues before but this time i just cant anymore #okay that's enough rambling. it's midnight #mind you my zine does look pretty good. for a zine made out of a single sheet of paper and written/doodled on in black pen with a lil red #alright that's enough from me now. if you've stayed for this long go drink some water-i know you havent hydrated in ages #(says the woman who hasnt hydrated either-)

[ningmung]

The way "normal" people interact is insane because they read too much into what you say or they play mind games with you instead of saying things properly and want you to guess around

#its hilarious #one of my friends is prone to reading too much into shit i say LITERALLY and puts words in my mouth all the time its exhausting #one time she said theyre gonna laugh at our bad french if we go to france and i agreed and she said so u think my french is bad #???? 😭😭😭😭 no u said it urself ??? what r u mesnt to say.... ? i shouldve just giggled that was the correct response like girl im a1 and #you a2 #maybe b1 #and also one of my long distance friends just called me and like damn the people shes dealing w... like n its always religious people too #like damn they have her playing mind games and shes going thru a friendship breakup rn #like objectively its bad because she did throw them for a man ig but its like. so what now bc they wouldve done the same to her vice versa #people are weird i guess

[hauntedpearl]

not to get back here and immediately get whiny but you know.

#anyway. like. i think maybe something is wrong with me. like psychologically hadghdjdkd #every TIME i get in a group of people and i fall hard and fast for the people there bc im normal and im like FRIENDS NOW & FOREVER YIPPEEE #but then they just like. stop liking me or talkign to me or sth. or like idk i will be open and talk too much or infodump or sth and they #just start distancing themselves #and it's like OH MY GOD I DUD SOMETHING #i also wish they would just tell ne what i did so i won't do that in te future but instead they're all etiquette-y about it #and now i have to go cry in a corner about it #and then im like okay i should leave the group or whatever they can have fun w/o me so i jsut sort of pull away #and then i get tOOOOO lonely #and then im like oh no let me go crawling back #and they're nice bc maybe all this is like fully in my head or maybe absence makes rhe heart fond or whatever #and then cycle cycle #anyway. i need to get a life bur i dont have one so i keep cryinf about everything stupid #WHATEVAAAAA #im gonna go do math to calm down #ive forgotten a lot of my undergrad stuff so im doing linAl again!! and it's v fun!! i actually never had to take linal in college #like we used a few principles and atuff but i never had to take the course so doing it now is kinda exciting too!! #ANYWAY ANYWAY. EVERYTHING IS SSTUPUF

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#what does one do when their perception cannot b trusted? im so physically and emotionally exhausted #and i can go from feeling hopelessly terminally bad to completely normal for no apparent reason. and on occasion i can go from normal to i #think i can stay up all night. i never have to sleep again. look how great i can focus. i could kill god. #and i have no emotional object permanence so it feels so stupid when im normal. i cant sympathize with myself in altered states of mind #and it doesnt matter but it makes me crazy the idea that i might not b bip0lar but i just push myself so far that under pressure my mind #splits into the catastrophically positive or negative. but i feel like this is how i have to live. i have to b perfect or pay a blood debt #and thats just how it is. and thats how its been. so at this point ive spend thr last idk 15 years of my life being d #some measure of miserable for no reason. i dont kno y i do this to myself and im 26 now and idk how to stop bc even pushing myself as hard #as i can im so far behind. how am i supposed to do less and not #and not just quit. im compulsive for a reason. there's a fundamental barrier between myself and understanding language but if i do more and #more and more then i can at least try to keep up with everyone else. idk im so tired. and im 26 and im afraid im stuck like this #and i cant even... its like ive split my head in 2 to cope. ive created distance within myself so that i cant fully feel how terrible i make #things for myself. half my brain is always like lol suffer idiot. it throws off my therapists bc i cant take my own pain seriously. ill #laugh and smile while im like yea i feel horrible like most of the time and i dont kno what to do lol. idk so it goes. i think im gonna stop #with the birth control tho. as it doesnt seem to help with my sadness levels. idk if ite making ot worse or not. guess well find out #itll b easier once i dont have to b trained on things. then i wont have to ask a question and burst into tears on my lab mate 🙄 #unrelated

[villalunae]

ah once again the "didnt think it was for me, got big, now i definitely know its not for me but everyones talkin abt it" problem lol

#personal #this is abt dmeshi btw lol im just not into it #n seein it everywhere its like man. what will happen first it becoming less popular or me blacklisting it #i think im just fr not into fantasy shit anymore its just gotten real boring to me cuz like. then i gotta memorize shit lmao #anything says ''fantasy'' in big letters and i hear lotr dorks and weebs in the distance blaring their lil sirens like MEMORIZE EVERYTHIN #like im juuuuuuuuust not into worldbuilding and magic rules i gotta learn for some new show thats not even that good #and gets all convoluted like ohh woah he activated his trap card which in section 3.5 says that seventen leopards jump out and #immediately kill things that are undead and on fire exclusively but also inflicts a curse on its user so now in thirty jizzing episodes the #ll have a panic attack that triggers the Nineteen Runes of Saturn and like. man. thats nerd shit im not into that #OR its like. ohh siht thats dr dumb from the planet xenorp in episode five point twelve where he committed larceny and NOW hes back #in episode 6789305 to get revenge but jane doe pulls out her goop from episode sixteen where she put together a puzzle in the bg and #like MAN. IM NOT DOIN THAT #the payoff is NOT worth the time invested for me so im just gonna go watch a show that doesnt have a textbook fanbook made for it #anyway me. rambling. always. going back to the art mines where i draw utena and anthy kissing for the upteenth time

[boltgunkiller-archive]

everyone sees santana as the jealous one which is true. but i think brittany would be jealous too just more low key about it

#i mean after s4 i think santana really gets over it #like that’s her acceptance. she just can’t have brittany like that anymore and it sucks #because well also my bpdtana headcanon. she probably felt really possessive over brittany for a bit there #and also hated brittany a little i’m not even gonna lie because she was so frustrated at how seamlessly brittany moved on #but then she accepted it after she realized brittany wasn’t out to get her nor was sam #it was just. moving on. and santana would have to accept that. also need to mention the distance definitely fucked w santana’s head about it #being away from brittany for so long? yeah. she took it as a sign that brittany was abandoning her which caused her to kinda freak out #cause she spent so much time being so dependent or close in general to brittany. the sudden distance was Weird and Bad to her head #and heart #but then you know brittany talks to her about it so she realizes she needs to move on #then dani comes in right #she’s over it. they’re both just fine. but then 5x12. well brittany certainly didn’t like that there was another person in the picture now #-for santana. like she may not have shown it as much as santana does but she was kinda pissed about it i’m ngl #like the whole immediately kissing santana and then bringing up their history? she was about to KHS over the idea of santana just finding #-someone else and even preferring them more over her. llikeeee she wants santana so bad #jealousy im telling youu but she was trying to be normal about it #endgame though so we’re good. i just think about it sometimes #god nobody can rip jealousy tropes out of my hand i just love them #draft clearing spree! woohoo #and also i mostly just think that brittany was jealous in s5 going crazy. near end of s4 a bit. SHE NEEDED HER GIRL BACK asap. #gleeposting

[craycraybluejay]

Experiencing something like the sunk cost fallacy i.e; this may be useful or important later so regardless of how burdensome or hurtful it is I must not get rid of it.

What if (person) becomes nice later and will be in some way helpful. What if (thing) will be useful for something later regardless of whether I need it right now. What if learning about (depressive episode waiting to happen) will be useful in something important? What if (relationship) will increase in mutual benefit and this is one thing I'm gonna have to stick out?

The one upside to the scrappy mindset, is, well, it does what it's meant to do sometimes. Lots of junk material, parts, old pieces of metal, screws, fabrics, buttons, sequins, stones, etc etc. do end up coming in handy for some project or invention. Lots of people who make problems for me we end up working stuff out and help each other grow. Lots of stuff that may hurt to know is still undeniably helpful to be aware of when interacting with the world. But other times the scrappy mindset does Not work out and I end up having wasted time, energy, and investment, on a useless trainwreck.

Being too critical of things makes you close yourself off to opportunity. Being too open makes you liable to overextending yourself and your resources (putting your eggs into too many baskets). How to be the perfect judge to create the perfect balance.

Maybe I need to try harder to shop around. Put myself out there and really get my finger in every cake so I know which is creamiest. Or whatever. But moderation is difficult. There are always too many factors at play.

#rambles #sunk cost fallacy #better to invest in objects rather than people #at least an old flip phone isnt going to steadily ruin my mental health #yes- i love stuff- i love clutter and handmade items and paintings and trinkets #i think its better to try to make friends irl #i feel more positively when it develops more naturally and real-y #and when someone admires my droves of Cool Stuff and Things and my Lists then yk theyre a keeper #and when they also have Cool Stuff and Things and all sorts of hobbies and we can laugh together #and you can discuss misunderstandings and problems and stuff irl #online everything spins out of control so so fast #but in person you remember your manners bc the other guy remembers your face and u remember his laugh #and in real relationships you can take space without accidentally seeing each other and becoming more aggravated #online there is no space for distance or disagreement which is natural between people #social media is a cancer im with the boomers on this one #frying everyones braincells and emotional regulation and attention spans in real time #im gonna bring my screentime hours on socials further down #and maybe go on more walks and attend free groups for diff hobbies and whatnot #touch grass if you will #and im going to focus on things like work and healthy alone time #and wait for things to come slowly as they do. people places opportunities #though i admit id like to live in a major city-- cant help that urge to go fast fast fast