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#i think its the filipino raised catholic in me

mangopit · 6 months

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downward counterfactual thinking in response to "close-call" trauma is seriously my bestie. i have been doing this for so long and every time i remember there's a term for it, i feel so alive. like yes i DO imagine fucked up scenarios to feel better about the one fucked up scenario i had as a kid. it isn't a good or bad habit, it just is. it's just me. this is MY coping strategy and nobody else in my life will understand. my inner child will always be a little battered but her imagination is just as vivid now as it was then and we're really taking advantage of that. I WILL force hope out of a dark situation. I WILL allow my younger self to sit in the grief and then i'll let my older self to shuffle us both forward. i will handle this exactly the way i have since 9—alone, with a shockingly unrelenting amount of self worth

#basically i thought someone was gonna kill me so every once in a while my brain is like well what if you actually died 🤪🤪#and then i can appreciate life a bit more #again it sounds super fucked up and i recognize that this is so particular #but i just love that it exists and it has a name #i think its the filipino raised catholic in me #when your ancestors are colonized and exposed to christianity you really easily learn to survive by focusing on how much worse it could be #woohoojazelyn thoughts

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iris-sistibly · 1 year

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Since I'm rewatching Maria Clara at Ibarra on Netflix, at dahil may time ako for today's bidyow I'm just gonna give my two cents on this comment:

I think we can all agree that Maria Clara did NOT deserve to suffer the way she did, and yes she deserves to be happy with the only man she ever loved. But Maria Clara's story is the story of many women who were oppressed, and abused by priests during the Spanish era and sadly, this reality STILL exists even up to this day. And as much as I fucking hate to admit this, there are still many untold stories of women (even boys and young men) who were sexually abused by these disgusting hypocrites who call themselves instruments of God, and what's more painful is that the victims are silenced and the abusers get away with it because *coughs* ✨the Church protects them✨

Don't get me wrong, I was baptized and raised as a Catholic myself, but I refuse to ignore cases like these which thankfully in the modern times are being addressed and taken actions of, but I'm not sure how many of these mga sugo ng Diyos are actually punished for their crimes (*clears throat* Church is still quite influential af even in the 21st century 🙃).

Ibarra is a good man with good intentions for San Diego, yet he was framed and accused of being a heretic and filibuster by [again] these fugly Church peeps because they wanted the Filipinos to remain indios: uneducated and poor af. Juan Crisostomo Ibarra is the image of those people who only wanted to help their fellow Filipinos, yet are the ones who are being punished for the most nonsense reasons, and the very people who called themselves his friends and supporters are the same people who turned their backs on him because they were afraid of suffering the same fate as Crisostomo (and Don Rafael) .

In the show, I saw myself in Klay (except that I passed my Noli, El Fili and Rizal lessons 🤣) my only drive to read Noli and El Fili was to pass my Filipino subject. I did not have a full grasp of the lesson that Rizal was trying to teach. The moment I passed my subject, I was like "Oh good! Finally!" but I didn't take those learnings by heart. And I said the very same thing Klay said in the earlier episode, "What's the point of studying Noli and El Fili when I can't even apply it on the course I'm taking or my job when I graduate?" And I admit, history wasn't my favorite subject, I found it boring. I missed the whole point of what my teacher was teaching me.

I could go on and on about the characters of the novels and the show but to sum it all up, every character and events are the very images of every Filipino, their struggles, and the truth about what was really happening in our country. Rizal's Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo weren't the kind of novels you expect them to be, it is not a stereotypical love story, and it wasn't written to make the readers OR the audiences happy. These novels are here to teach the Klays like you and me not only about our history but also open our eyes to the reality of how this cancer of the society still exists and if we, the Filipino people don't do something to "cure" this, our country will NEVER progress.

As much as I wanted Ibarra and Maria to have a happily ever after they both deserve, I am glad that GMA 7 actually didn't stray away too much from its source materials, because now I understand why I had to learn those books. I understand now why Rizal was named national hero, his novels paved the way for the Filipinos to finally stand up and fight the oppressors.

However, as much as it pains me of how tragic Rizal's novels are, at least in the show, they got a happy ending. Just in a different timeline and universe but still, happily ever after.

#misc #gma 7 #maria clara at ibarra #noli me tangere #el filibusterismo #jose rizal #suzette doctolero #netlifx #juan crisostomo ibarra y magsalin #maria clara delos santos y alba #maria clara infantes #dennis trillo #julie anne san jose #barbie forteza

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jadevine · 7 months

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What's up folks, I have recently gotten back into one of my scripts called "TAKOTSUBO: The story of a superhero."

The story:

-Is heavily deconstructive. "Who gets to be (called) a superhero and who's just (called) a gangster/vigilante? It probably depends on if you're white/Caucasian, and which side of the government you're on."

-Is not completely Filipino-centered, BUT it has a lot of Filipino spirits and the Tagalog deities wandering around, forgotten and often shunned for being dark-skinned and non-Catholic. I initially had them wearing tribal tattoos because I fell into the trap of thinking that ALL Filipinos used to tattoo, so now a lot of the young spirits have modern tattoos because they just REALLY don't want to be seen as Catholic, or "potential converts."

-The general look/theme is "The Wizard of Oz gone apocalypse." The Facebook friend that I asked this about apparently LOVES my concept art and the costumes, so... yay?

One person said that this would be pretty damn expensive to pull off as live theater, especially for a new writer with about three acting friends. My Facebook friend mentioned that it may actually work better as a TV series.

Either way, I do not have the money to pay 50-odd actors and however many crew members to make an urban-fantasy city, a dragon, and get in a shitton of staged gang-fights, and I don't want to ask people to VOLUNTEER to do this for free.

Like, there "passion project" and then there's "safety concerns that would be better solved with money."

Sooooooo while I finish the main script, I am going to revisit all my character designs and possibly relearn how to draw, in case I need to make this an actual comic book. One of my proper artist friends has also offered to draw stuff for me, which is really nice! And also kind of terrifying, because I know how expensive ink and paper or a tablet that simulates ink-and-paper IS.

But one person volunteering to draw is still a lot less expensive than a whole cast and crew. So that's on hold while I finish the script and redraft my character concepts. Here’s an in-progress sketch of Lolo the dragon, one of the new-new-new draft’s characters. (He was technically always going to show up, but since I heavily shifted the first third or so of the script around, he appears much earlier in the latest draft.)

I imagine Filipino dragons can raise/lower their dorsal fins as needed. In person, Lolo’s mouth looks way too much like a bird beak, but it seemed to even out after I took a photo. Maybe the sketch lines are throwing me off.

Filipino dragons were often called "buwaya" or the local term for "crocodile." The two creatures were basically interchangeable, and a lot of modern people mistakenly think that we didn't HAVE dragons due to the confusion, so that's why I decided that I didn't want Lolo the dragon to look like a mainland/Chinese dragon.

As for why a dragon is called "Grandpa," that is partly because Lolo is indeed old and grumpy, plus he's an homage to Lolong, the largest confirmed saltwater crocodile. The leader of the crocodile hunt was an older man called Ernesto Goloran Coñate, who was nicknamed Lolong by the others. Ernesto was relentless in searching for an alleged maneater, but unfortunately the strain of looking took its toll on him and he died of a heart attack just a few days before they caught this stonking huge unit, so the others named him "Lolong" after Ernesto's nickname.

I have a lot of feelings about Lolong the crocodile, because there are TWO mythological coincidences here!

-The only thing our ancestors agreed on is how we revered crocodiles, and some ethnicities considered them to be ancestral figures, so we did often call them "grandfather/grandmother."

-Some people believed that a regular crocodile could turn into a dragon through human sacrifice, because they needed a soul. And it apparently had to be a sacrifice; we had rules for if a crocodile just wrecked someone's canoe and ate them--their soul went to the good afterlife, and that was it. A crocodile that received a human sacrifice would often become a clan's ancestor/founder, so with the constant wariness of spirits in Filipino folklore, I imagine people started calling EVERY crocodile "grandfather/grandmother" just in case.

Yes, the part about human sacrifice is going to show up in the script. It makes me think about how Western cultures heavily fear death and how colonizers sensationalized the practices of "savage brown natives" while they were converting us to Catholicism, and how modern Filipinos often fear/hate crocodiles as being greedy or vicious (we usually call dirty cops and politicians "buwaya").

So I'm gonna make that everyone else's problem, too.

#urban fantasy #filipino mythology #writing #superhero

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isobelleposts · 2 years

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Smaller and Smaller Circles: A Thriller Tackling the Philippines’ Lows and Truths

Movie Poster for 'Smaller and Smaller Circles' Adaptation

Felisa Batacan’s debut and only novel to date is my favorite read throughout the course of this year, thus far, despite moments wherein disappointment and dissatisfaction hit me, especially nearing the end.

Our neighborhoods are too congested, our neighbors too noisy, our families too tightly knit for secrets to be kept and allowed to fester.

Page 44 of 'Smaller and Smaller Circles'

This chilling story of a murder investigated by priests and forensic anthropologists Father Saenz and Father Jerome is set in the summer of 1997, taking place in Manila wherein corruption, poverty, and negligence from the government is at their high. F.H. Batacan manages to keep her readers at the edge of their seats and feeling goosebumps up their spine while also bringing light to the disheartening cases of poverty in Manila, which has sadly grown to be seen as normal in the country’s society.

Scene from TBA Studio's Film Adaptation

POVERTY

It is national knowledge to most Filipinos that the country is not exactly fit to be defined as expensive or rich if not for its natural surroundings, but the fact that over 58% of families in the Philippines as of this year fall under the lower class category seems to have grown overlooked by many and treated as usual.

Isang kahig, isang tuka, one scratch, one peck: a day’s work for a day’s food.

Page 64 of ‘Smaller and Smaller Circles’

We have become so much accustomed to watching small and malnourished kids begging and working odd jobs in the streets and dump sites of the city that it is only when their lives are put into specific detail that it hits us how despairing the society and government have to be for this kind of lifestyle to be lived by the majority of the nation.

It’s shattering; when the scholarships dried up, Alex’s abuser had manipulated the situation, used the family’s poverty and need to keep him in school so he would have ready access to him.

Page 285 of ‘Smaller and Smaller Circles’

While flipping from one broken family to another, taken of a son by a murderer, I note how many what-ifs had crossed my mind.

What if Alex did not need a scholarship to finish school? What if Binang had afforded enough help to raise her son Lino? What if these women had afforded a divorce from their abusive husbands? What if they had a way out?

Fathers Lucero and Saenz played by Sid Lucero and Nonie Buencamino

ABUSE

The Philippines is a highly religious country with more than 83% of its population being Roman Catholics and growing up in families that provide church as a second home for their children.

However, I think there is a clear difference between mere misconduct and crime. — I think as soon as a priest crosses the line into molestation and sexual abuse, it becomes a civil matter, a law enforcement matter, and a matter for the country’s courts.

Page 83 of ‘Smaller and Smaller Circles’

There is a kind of cowardice in people, I think, and their act of keeping silent and blind over the crimes so regularly committed by priests upon the nation’s youths, not only among Catholics but also among other religions. This not only goes to civilians and regular church-goers but also to those in power refusing to take due justice.

Though I wished there was more of a plot twist towards the ending and who the killer ended up being, Batacan was still able to amaze and hook me with her direct and chilling storytelling. Reading this book during the rainy seasons in Manila was one of the most enjoyable decisions I’ve made this year, and I highly recommend it.

#fh batacan #smaller and smaller circles #philippine cinema #philippine literature #book review #book to film #batacan #filipino author #murder book #thriller book #ph literature #father saenz #father lucero #book recommendation #filipino novel #filipino story #manila #murder mystery #smaller and smaller circles review

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eremosjournal · 2 years

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Catholicism vs. Culture

Any Filipino knows the importance of faith. Or how important faith is supposed to be. It is the glue of family life, the legacy of our devout Lolas, and the passion project of our mothers. Catholicism seemed to bolster the pillars of Asian family life that already stood so firmly at the center of my elders’ beliefs: tradition, discipline, and superstition. We never missed mass. My siblings and I attended Catholic school, received all our sacraments, and participated in church activities like choir and youth group. The picture of faith was painted for me.

It was also important to my dad that we knew Philippine history. He would give mini lectures about Magellan and the indigenous Filipino soldier who killed him, Lapu-Lapu (who for some reason is super ripped in all of his artistic renderings). I would picture Lapu-Lapu and weigh his image against that of Jesus, and somehow he felt more real than Jesus. Having been (erroneously) inundated with images of white Jesus, it felt deliciously naughty to think of Lapu-Lapu slaying white, Catholic Magellan, the Spaniard who claimed my parents’ homeland against the grief and rage of all of its rightful Filipinos. When hearing the gospel or doing saint reports at school, I wished there were characters as cool (and swole) as Lapu-Lapu. I wondered, Why isn’t he a saint? He did a good thing. He risked his life for others. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do?

Then I realized Lapu-Lapu couldn’t have been a saint because he wasn’t Christian. And it hit me: no one in my family would be Catholic without Spain. Without colonization. Without exploitation and rape and torture. The practice that is held so dearly in the hearts of my mother and her mother and my father’s mother was borne in an act of theft. How could my parents know our troubled heritage and still impose this filthy faith on us? With all the homeland pride I was taught, how could we perpetuate a tradition that is so reflective of our ancestor’s pain, so rooted in cultural robbery, so…Euro? Did the diaspora…betray me? My faith and my heritage were at odds. I pictured my ancestors looking down on me in my white first communion dress, shaking their heads and eating mango.

Now, as a non-practicing Catholic adult, I understand my parents’ choice to raise me in the church. As immigrants, they chose to implement the part of their culture that grounded them, even if it was a symbol of cultural erasure. The feeling of home - balay in my parents’ native Cebuano - is a kind of faith in itself. We follow that feeling, through people, through customs, and sometimes through religion. Though the church failed to give me this feeling, I see now that, with all its insidious colonial history, Catholicism gave my parents a piece of the home they had to leave. As badly as I wish I could know who my family would be without colonialism, I have to accept that religion - voluntary or otherwise - doesn’t work against my culture. It’s part of it.

by Elise Letrondo

#who is america #deconstruction #deconvert #exvangelical #post christian #ex catholic #catholic #post catholic #christian #religious trauma #aapiheritagemonth #aapi history month #aapi month #aapi heritage month

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ebergeaud2 · 3 months

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Notes on Filipinising colonial gender values:

Having never delved into a topic as extensive as this, going into the project, it had not come to mind that the reason why most countries under colonial occupation change to Eurocentric standards is through re-education. As obvious as it sounds, it is not apparent when you have been educated in that system for a while, and anything from “your” culture is deemed normal, when in actuality was just another way to empower one over the other. The same can be said for the Philippines. It’s strange to think that such biases and traditions that we are raised with aren’t usually associated to their colonial origins, however with this extract, I found myself re-examining what it means to live by certain standards of gender. The means of how they were implemented in the country in the first place, from schools to culture and eventually through its political system.

The book ‘Filipinising colonial gender values’ (2022) by Rodriguez A.M.L.R focuses on the sector of education, that has inadvertently created a culture of hegemonic masculinity. Naturally beginning as a gender-fluid population with the “babaylan”, soon became a Spanish colony with highly patriarchal power imbalances. In their extract, Rodriguez details the origins of Spain’s relationship with the Philippines through the introduction of Christianity, with the subtext of superiority over the ritualistic practices of the indigenous people.

Spain’s takeover of the Philippines, it soon established a government, solidifying the formal capital as Manila. Shortly after, it became arbitrary, after delayed consideration for over several decades, that more schools were built across the country, in the hopes to reform and civilise the Filipino people. this particular section of the article interested me, as at this point, Rodriguez highlights the gradual segregation of genders. Due to the distaste of the Spanish to the fluidity of gender values held in the Philippines, influenced by western imperial practices, the Philippines was shaped to be a country like Spain in how it operated. This part was interesting to me due to the fact that, at an early age, we are taught that some aspects of our language derives from Spain; whilst it is common knowledge for all Filipinos educated in the Philippines, it’s not necessarily clear at that stage what the intentions were to incorporate Spanish words into Tagalog. While as Filipinos we are aware of Spanish influence, the extent of their influence spans far across the facets of Filipino life.

Throughout the extract, Rodriguez points out that, during Spain’s occupation from 1565 to 1899, the roles of men and women changed exponentially. What’s more, from span of the 14th century to the 17th century, men held the most power in the country. This was due to the fact that most women could not progress further than higher education, instead were sent to religious institutions to be taught (sexually repressive and emotionally controlling) catholic values, by priests and sisters; to be a good wife, proficiency in household practices, protecting one’s chastity before marriage. Men, on the other hand, were urged to progress further than university and study overseas. The men who studied overseas, returned as Philippine revolutionaries, known as the “ilustrados”; realising that the way the government ran in the west compared to back home was unjust and unequal. Rodriguez points out, that this part is crucial in forming the basis of the Filipino masculine identity.

Knowledge is power, and to have knowledge is a man’s role in society. Consequently, intellectualism, heroism and the basic requirement of going to school became associated with masculinity. The man was smart, and the woman keeps the home clean. A man who did not fulfill not a single category, need not be a man. It is upsetting to find that such ideals are still somewhat held in the present day. As it remains an unconscious bias for many Filipino men.

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battkinzie · 2 years

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Religion and I

Like so many Filipinos around the world, I was raised up as a Roman Catholic. I was baptized in the Catholic church, I had my first communion in the Catholic church, and I have studied in Catholic educational institutions for most of my life. There was a time when I took my religion very seriously, to the point that I made it such a significant part of my identity. I felt so engrossed in studying the bible when I was in elementary school and I would read it everyday because I thought it would please God and feed my soul (whatever the fuck that means). I would always think about all the things I did at the end of the day and I would deliberate what sins I have committed and ask for God’s forgiveness in my evening prayers. It was a very different and strange era of my life.

One of my friends in elementary school told me that they are an atheist. I felt like it was my duty as some kind of catholic crusader to “return my friend to God.” I can’t make this shit up. It’s not like I was mad at my friend for not believing in God. It’s just that I thought that they were lost in the path to salvation. You know, in retrospect this mindset isn’t exactly any better than being mad at them for not believing in a deity. Eventually this fanaticism died out. I eventually stopped reading the bible everyday and I stopped thinking about what part of my daily activities constitute sinful actions that I must repent for. I became what some priests call a lukewarm catholic. I still attended mass but the kind of enthusiasm and focus I once had when I was much younger died out and was replaced with a fleeting interest every now and then in scripture and its historical basis. I held the simple belief in God and didn’t really think much of anything more about religion. I stopped worrying about whether or not there will be salvation for me when I die. My belief was transformed into a cultural practice that I thought was necessary to maintain as a Filipino. I still called myself a catholic not so much because I firmly believe in a deity as the catholic church teaches that deity to be but because I thought that being a catholic was an essential part of my being a Filipino. As you can see, this is a very flimsy foundation for a faith which is why in the end I just stopped identifying as a catholic altogether (only personally at least because I still put Roman Catholic in official documents). I believe that the discovery of my homosexuality paved the way for me to completely abandon any identification with the Catholic church. I realized that this religious institution deemed me a sinner, that my love is condemnable and an obscenity to God. I found that there is no way to reconcile this part of my identity with the doctrines of the church.

Now I am indifferent to religion. I have no feelings for it. I also don’t really care so much whether or not there is a divine being. I am not worried that I might go to some infernal place of punishment at the end of my life because I didn’t believe in a specific god. I think it’s pretty silly to think so. What a shameful and cruel god that must be. I don’t think you need to have a god to have a sense of morality. It’s such a mistaken belief of so many Filipinos that godless people are devoid of morals and values. The word “godless” itself has a negative connotation and it shouldn’t be the case. And although I am indifferent to religion as whole, I do have some negative feelings for some religious institutions. I believe that everyone can practice whatever religion they want, whether it’s an organized religion or not. However, it can’t be denied that some religious institutions are responsible for so many horrible things in the world. I mean, take the Catholic church for example. It has played such a large role in the colonization of the Philippines and it has a long record of abuse and violence against Filipinos. This is why I find it odd that so many Filipinos celebrate the 400 years of Christianity in this country without ever considering what that 400 years of Christianity meant for our ancestors. I personally do not think it is something to be celebrated and I believe that some Filipinos are aware of this but refuse to confront the negative implications of 400 years of Christianity in this country.

I don’t really care if someone believes in a certain doctrine or follows a specific church but I can never be indifferent to religious abuse.

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thisisgodsland · 2 years

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6 Days Left: Loving him was red (Rappler’s Version)

Photo retrieved from Rappler

I already posted a thinkpiece about this long, long ago, but I decided to make an updated version of it for publication on Rappler. It’s on their website currently. Click here to read it on their site. Else, keep on reading here.

Last Easter Sunday, I came across a Facebook post that showed the archbishop and a priest donning a pink cassock. The caption (though I can’t say it verbatim) basically anticipated that a certain candidate’s camp would assume that the Catholic Church was endorsing Leni Robredo. Chill out, the post stated, pink is the color of Easter traditionally, and that won’t change because of political rivalry.

It made me think a lot about the color pink and how traditional – and often, trivial – signs, symbols, and figures take on a new form in the campaign season.

The post that came after that included this: “Namiss ko na mag peace sign.”

The peace sign was actually not a symbol of peace at first. Referred to mainly as the “V” sign, the gesture was actually synonymous with the middle finger before the Allies of World War II restructured its meaning into one of peace, universally. In this day and age, especially since the context is dated, the V sign is a common gesture used when taking photos, to symbolize that someone is having fun.

That’s why I have no fun now that I can’t strategically do the peace sign in photos.

When we were having a photo-op in an online summit I was attending, I instinctively raised my hands to do the sign. Once the screenshot was taken, one of the members unmuted their mic and joked: “Hala, may BBM pala dito.”

It reminded me a lot of JC De Vera’s captionless set of photographs where he did the peace sign. The comment section was flooded with green and red hearts after that, and JC himself had to comment on them one by one saying, “Nope.”

It reminded me of when I was with a friend once who pointed at the Italian flag and said, “BBM-Sara.”

Then, later on, another friend of mine would tell me that their mom wouldn’t buy a pink phone case because people might mistake her for a Kakampink.

I learned in my Media and Society class that there are two types of symbol analysis: semiotic and discourse. They pretty much tackle the same object, but the latter focuses more on the conversation that surrounds it. My teacher taught our class that the yellow ribbon was historically used as a symbol or reminder for military troops who were away from home. However, a 1973 song by Dawn called Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree used it as a symbol for a prisoner who had just been released from jail. The Filipinos used these yellow ribbons, then, to welcome Senator Beningno “Ninoy” Aquino Sr. back home after he was exiled to the United States. Across the ocean, this yellow ribbon has also been used for the disappearances of young girls. In Hong Kong, it symbolizes student boycotts. In South Korea, a tragic ferry sinking.

The meanings of these symbols don’t just come from what the symbols themselves tell us. They come from the context of the situations and conversations around them.

Foucault adds an interesting spin to it by focusing on the power that steers these conversations. Yes, we know pink is Leni, red is BBM, and green is Sara – but what does it say about the power of political structures when one person refuses to buy a phone case because of its color?

While assigning meanings to symbols is inescapable in politics, it has not only boxed us into our little echo chambers, but have also set these echo chambers further apart. Especially with how common these colors are, we restrict ourselves from choosing something because of the connotation underlying it and we restrict others from doing the same.

While for me the color pink symbolizes hope, this idea that we own the colors of our candidates is also a power play. A very dangerous one at that, because it blurs the line between how much power we have and how much we actually don’t. While we don with pride and puffed chests these pink shirts, red wristbands, and green shoes, we are not actually displaying our own power but the power of the people who assign meaning to these colors. The people who will in turn have power over us.

Camps do everything they can to try to find a color or a figure to represent the Filipino nation, but the conversations that surround them are actually very divisive. It’s no good, either, that people adopt colors that are supposed to already have their own symbolism in Filipino culture.

Prior to this election cycle, Filipinos would usually associate the color red with the one found in the Filipino flag. This color was chosen for the flag as it was used before by the Katipuneros as their flag color when revolting against colonization. It was incorporated into the national flag as a reminder of the patriotism and valor that these brave people exhibited.

Marcos’ camp chose this color for their campaign. It is plainly ironic to me because they don’t represent what people are fighting for but what people should be fighting against. There is no patriotism in stealing from the Filipino people, and no valor in running away from debates and tough questions.

Filipinos should be reminded that we are a diverse country with variedly cultured groups. It is not fair that we turn away from these cultures in election season. We cannot be relegated to just red, green, pink, or blue.

Candidates have been attempting to course-correct. Notably, Leni Robredo recently changed her campaign logo from all-pink to multi-colored. Her team did this to be more inclusive. They say that in a clean government, everyone is welcome.

It’s an impactful statement in a time when people are breaking friendships, arguing with family members, and fighting with online strangers to show their political stances. Signs and symbols have power. Most of the time, the power isn’t with the people. Whoever it should come from, however, should be thinking of the people when they make it. As important as these colors are, it is the conversations that surround them that define the Filipino community.

Let’s make those conversations meaningful.

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pinoy-culture · 3 years

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before I ask my question, I just wanted to say thank you so so so much for keeping up your blog and consistently giving out information where its readily accessible!!!

maybe this will make me sound like an idiot but to preface, I’m a mixed filipino american. My mom is filipino and some chinese and my dad is some sort of european and puerto rican. i was wondering, in your opinion, do you think it’d be okay for me (eventually) work with diwata and anitos? And how can I start? Ive been trying to communicate with my ancestors and I’ve been looking for books to one day buy (im extremely broke so your blog and any filipino witches i come across is all the info i can get) but i honestly have no clue where to start other than with my ancestors (weird dreams lately but nothing ancestor related i think). i took a DNA test as a gift and it pointed, predominantly, to the Western Visayas so im assuming i should study more on pre-colonial Bisayan culture (my lolas from iloilo so it makes sense i guess) but i also know that “blood quantum” is a colonizer concept so i dont wanna rely on it too much :/ sorry to ramble but pls help lol

First, I'd like to say thank you for following the blog! It really does mean a lot to me to hear from others over the years on how much my blogs have helped them learn about our history and culture.

Now as for working with our diwata and the anito, that is completely ok. The whole blood quantum thing among some Filipinos I honestly don't agree with. As long as you have a family member who is Filipino, you are Filipino regardless of your "percentage" and of how you look. If you have Filipino blood in you, the ancestors are there with you. Even if you weren't raised within Filipino culture or a Filipino household because your parents never brought you up in it, or you are an adoptee like some I've met over the years. Your ancestors are your ancestors regardless. They see you and know you and that is all that matters.

Now there really isn't any book focused specifically on reviving our precolonial beliefs and practices. Yes, some did survive and some even blended in with a form of Folk Christianity in the Philippines. You can see many of the older practices and beliefs still alive, but they have been replaced with Catholic imagery and Saints.

But, in regards actually believing in and worshiping our old deities, doing rituals dedicated to the deity, or even some rites of passage like the Tagalog first menstruation rite of passage, or making carved figures dedicated to the diwata and anito, or performing maganito/paganito or atang to the diwata and anito, majority of Filipinos don't do this, or even know it.

So for being an Anito Reconstructionist, which is a label I personally use for my spiritual beliefs and others have adopted, there really isn't a book for it. A Reconstructionist in other ethnic spiritual paths, such as the Celtic, Roman, Aztec, Kemetic, Greek, Norse, etc., are those who look at historical records to try and piece together what was once practiced and believed in prior to Christianity. Over many years, these different spiritual paths have eventually come together, formed a community, and have resources like books and teachers. They have had the time to do all the research and put together a more formal spirituality based on those Pre-Christian beliefs and bringing it to the modern day where they have hundreds to thousands of people who have gone back to those beliefs. With some, they have even created temples, shrines to their deities, and even have celebrations.

Unfortunately that is not the case for us. However, due to the growing interest in our precolonial beliefs and practices over the years, I can see Anito Reconstructionism growing within the next several years. It already has, with many people actually trying to learn more about these beliefs and our old deities. The amount of people of people I've seen and talked to who have expressed their interest to reclaim these precolonial beliefs and practices is nothing compared to 10 years ago when it was hard to even find one or two people who did.

It is why I've been writing this book for a few years now dedicated to helping others in wanting to reclaim our precolonial beliefs and practices as a starting point in their research. For now though, I always recommend those who are starting to simply just read the historical texts. Grab a notebook and write down notes. Organize your notes into deities, rituals, how to make an offering, any prayers to a specific deity, how to set up an altar, etc.

Seeing as your family is from the island of Panay in the Western Bisayas, like my moms side are from, I would start with looking at the Bisayan precolonial beliefs and practices. A really good reference is reading Francisco Alcina's History of the Bisayans (1668). Volume 3 is available online in English which you can find here. Volume 3 goes into a lot of detail in the beliefs and practices. The Boxer Codex, if you are able to get a copy of the English translation, is also really good reading material.

Getting Started:

In terms of getting started, keep in mind that there is no one monolithic belief system or practice in the Philippines. Before there ever was a Philippines, we were different nations with different beliefs and practices. It is important to know your ethnic groups beliefs and practices and know their history. For example, I am Bisaya (Akeanon specifically) and Tagalog and that is what I work with. Others who I know follow the Bikolano, Kapampangan, or Ilokano beliefs. Though there are some similarities, each ethnic group had their own set beliefs and practices.

I often tell people that you can't just mix and match between them. For example, though I work with both the Tagalog and Bisayan pantheons, I wouldn't dare do a ritual offering to both a Tagalog or Bisayan deity at the same time. It's always separate. You also can't combine 2 similar deities together from different ethnic groups just because they share similar attributes. It's just rude and disrespectful.

Start out small. Set up an altar dedicated to your ancestors. If you have any family members who have passed, put a photo of them on the altar. Leave offerings of rice cakes such as suman, food like chicken adobo, or even a cup of drink such as tuba, lambanog, or even Red Horse beer. But if you can't get access to an alcoholic drink either because one you are a minor or 2 it's not available where you live, you can simply replace it with a non-alcoholic drinks like coconut juice. Get a coconut shell or a seashell to either place these offerings as bowls/plates or even use them to put your kamangyan or incense.

Then start researching how our Bisayan ancestors worshiped and practiced. Study the history and read historical accounts, books, and articles about them. Write down what you have learned on these precolonial beliefs and practices and reconstruct or revive them. This is what Polytheistic Recinstructionists do. I have listed links to these texts here.

Ask questions to your family, particularly your elders. See if they know of anything or if they can share some traditional practices and beliefs they know of have heard of. You would be surprised how, despite some families being really religious, many still believe in the spirits, do some form of ancestor veneration, believe in omens that are being told to you by the ancestors or spirits, etc.

If you can, try to go back to the Philippines and see your family's ancestral home, see where they grew up, etc. Ask about family stories and folk stories. For example, my mom grew up in Aklan and has always told me stories of the aswang and certain omens. She also constantly talks about the mischievous "little people" who play tricks on you (for example putting something down like your keys and then it goes missing, until you find it again somewhere else). In the Western Bisayas, they are known as kama-kama. There is also a story of how her grandmother's cat visited her during her wake. The cat was missing for years, but it came back and stayed sleeping on top of the casket for days before it left. My mom told me that it was the cat paying their respects to her grandmother.

Keep in mind also and acknowledge our indigenous communities who have kept their beliefs and practices. Don't try to take them into your own. I have seen people cherry pick things from the Manobo of Mindanao or the Kalinga in the Cordillera, which is just disrespectful. Many of the IP, though some still have kept their beliefs, it isn't the most important aspect to them. What they are most concerned about are other issues such as losing their homes due to occupation by oil or logging companies, other settlers such as the Tagalog and Bisayans (especially in Mindanao), getting targeted as "rebels" by the Philippine military and often getting killed. But, by cherry picking beliefs especially of the IP groups, it's just disrespectful.

I will be teaching classes on Anito Reconstructionism soon and will have my first class possibly at the end of the month or next month. I decided to do these classes seeing as there is a growing community who are interested, but don't know where to start. I'll be doing a proper announcement on these classes real soon so look out for the announcement and hopefully you will be able to join!

#filipino #diwata #anito #anito reconstructionist #polytheist #polytheism #precolonial philippines #faq #question #long post

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haravath0t · 3 years

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A Christmas Wish - Day 1

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Filipino!Reader

Warnings: fluff, an immense word count, a talk with the mom??

Hello, everyone! Finally, we have Day 1 of A Christmas Wish! I’m so happy I found a way to extend the Christmas Spirit well into the year through this request! We are uncovering a huge tradition that means a lot to me and my family as Filipinos! Many of the Filipino community are Christian/Catholic, so this particular tradition will be based on the Christian Christmas tradition for the sake of the plot and its personal meaning! I hope this is something that can be understood between author to reader! I promise, the religious aspect of this particular tradition will not be as emphasized as other parts of the culture that I will introduce! Happy readings my lovelies, and to all my Filipino readers, pasensya kung mali ng English translation ko. Ang hirap naman talaga mg translate eh 😅😅😅 huhuuuu

(italics indicate flashbacks! english translations are provided and the pictures of the foods are attached in the bottom!)

You opened your eyes excitedly, a big smile forming on your face as you remembered a particular memory from yesterday that really made you so happy:

You, Steve, and your family had finished putting your luggage in the trunk of the van, squeezing themselves in either of the two vans. The driver was now hours in on the road, the chaos had died down as your cousins who decided to join yours and Steve’s van were asleep. The city was long gone, as the buildings had now become hills and green fields, passing by small little towns and provinces. The once crowded and traffic highways turned into a wide empty road.

Contrary to your cousins who fell back asleep, you were wide awake, not only from the jet lag, but also from your excitement. You were sitting in the middle of the back row of the van, earphones plugged in your ears, listening to the familiar tracks of OPM (Original Pinoy Music) and 70s/80s hits that you were familiar with from your karaoke nights with your parents. Steve was seated on the window (something you recommended him to do), looking as the green grass and hills passed by. Steve couldn’t help but smile, this was something that was so new to him, but it was something you saw as a reminder that you were actually back with your family, back in your roots, back home. It was simple. That’s what he liked most.

“What do you think so far? We’re still a bit far from the hotel and their house, but we’re about more than halfway home,” you ask softly. Steve’s eyes left the window as he instead looks at your lovely sparkling eyes. He couldn’t help the smile that forms on his face as he easily recognizes the excitement on your face. “I already love it, doll. I really do. I can’t wait to have you and your family show us around.” He says softly yet with sincerity. You smiled excitedly and took an earbud out of your ear, kissing his cheek before you put the earbud in his ear, making him laugh. “Y/N, doll, what are you doing?” He asks softly as his eyebrows furrow. You giggle as you scroll through your list of songs that you had downloaded on your phone. “Oh, I figured… well.. If you want, we can listen to this playlist? We can try napping?” You offer, the excited smile turning in a shy one, tints of pink being apparent on your cheeks. Steve’s smile only grew as he kissed your forehead. “Yeah, I’d love that, sugar. What’s the type of music in this one?” He asks softly, securing the earbud into his ear further. “It has some Filipino music and some 70s and 80s songs that my parents love… I listened to them all the time growing up,” you reply with a smile, choosing the song “I Think I’m Falling in Love” by The Boyfriends, smiling as the familiar opening notes are being played into yours and Steve’s ear. Steve’s eyebrows raise in surprise when the music plays but smiles as he lets the tune settle into his ears. Steve subconsciously wraps his arm protectively around your body, “C’mon honey, get comfy, yeah?” You did not think twice as you lean against him, resting your head against the crook of his neck, a big smile on your face reappearing as his familiar scent fills your nostrils. A deep chuckle is felt underneath your body. “Feelin’ better?” He asks softly, resting his cheek against your head. “Mhm, much better.” You sigh happily, closing your eyes as you feel his fingers comb your hair. You smile as you drift off to sleep, hearing the lyrics “I think I’m falling in love, something’s telling me so”.

“You do realize wherever you’re goin’ I’m goin’ right?” He asks with a smile, as he swallows a piece of pandesal. “This is so good by the way,” he adds before you speak up. “I know, but this thing takes place at 4 AM in the Cathedral, Steve! That’s early! “Okay, but we go to different time zones for missions, sweetheart. This is not new, we’ll be fine, you know me,” he responds, chuckling, “besides, we can sleep in after everything.” “Fair point,” you giggle, finishing your milk and throwing the plastic cup away. You kiss Steve’s head and hug him from behind. “Well… I can’t thank you enough, honey. You are doing so much already. Thank you. My family likes you already, I’m sure” A comforting hand rubs your forearm up and down before a soft pair of lips meets the back of your hand. “I’d be very happy if your family does. Their opinion of us matters to me too.” “How’d you even know about us going to mass today?” “Your Tita Joy mentioned it actually last night over dinner, asked if we both were going to Simbang...Simbang Gabi?” Your heart leapt at the sound of Steve saying something in Tagalog, a giggle erupting from your lips. “Goodness, Steve, you’re so adorable. Come on, we gotta get ready if we’re going to the Cathedral by jeepney.” You say, kissing his head before you get your clothes from your suitcase to head to the bathroom.

“Yes, ma’am,” he chuckles, playfully saluting you before he follows suit.

Steve was quite happy he tagged along with you, for the town was wonderfully decorated with parols (Christmas lanterns) and a nativity scene in front of the Cathedral. Not only that, he loved seeing you focused throughout the service, watching as you were alongside your family and practicing your tradition. It was truly something beautiful to see in his eyes.

Now, you and your family and Steve were outside of the Cathedral alongside other churchgoers, the town now starting to busy itself as the dawn arrives. There were now many food stalls outside, serving coffee and tea as well as wonderful foods to pair with the Christmas season. These included, bibingka, puto (rice cakes), suman, pandesal, and so much more. “Teka lang, Nanay, kukuha ako lang pagkain para sa atin lahat,” (hold on, mom, I’m just going to get some food for all of us) you say to your mom, her nodding in response. “Oh sige, anak. Sama mo ng Tatay mo! May pera s’ya!” (Alright, take your father with you! He has money!) She responds as you disappear in the crowd to get your guys’ share of good food. Steve only smiles at the interaction, watching as you go ahead with your father to one of the food stalls. “She’s like a kid, isn’t she?” Your mom says to Steve causing him to jump a little and only nod in response. “Yes, ma’am.” She playfully groans and waves her hand to him dismissively. “Oh, please you’re gonna call me ma’am? No, Tita will do for now,” She chuckles, making Steve relax in relief, not realizing his body had been tense. “Oh, Okay Tita.” She smiles and gives Steve a thumbs up and a nod of approval, which makes Steve smile. “You know, Steve, this whole Simbang Gabi thing is something she always has done since she was a girl. She loved it very much.” Steve smiles at this, imagining a younger you holding your parents’ hands as you make your way in the church. “It makes sense why she was up earlier than me during the Christmas season. I always wake up for a morning jog. I normally hear or see her out and about back home.” Your mom only chuckles, watching you and your father order some bibingka first.

“Did she tell you what her motivation was as a kid?” She asks, seeing Steve shake his head. “No, I haven’t.” “Ahh, well, there’s this funny folk belief here, you see. If you attend all 9 masses, then you can make a wish and your wish will come true if that’s what God wills it to be.” Your mother explains, smiling when Steve has an “aha” moment and nods in understanding. “I think that’s beautiful,” he says, hands fumbling within the pockets of his jeans, eyes making contact with yours. He smiles even more when you show your beautiful smile before you go back to ordering from the stalls. “You really love my daughter, don’t you Steven?” She asls, looking up at the taller man. “With all of my heart, Tita,” he responds firmly and surely, which eases your mom.

“That’s good to hear. I love the certainty. She deserves that much you know. She’s been through a lot. And… I can see the way you two look at each other. It makes me happy,” She says, sighing in content. “We’re glad to be able to have you celebrate with us. Goodness, I cannot even thank you enough for letting us fly over with you two.” “It’s not a problem, Tita,” He starts. “Family is important to Y/N, and I hope you know that she talks about you guys constantly. I can’t blame her, you all are very kind and lovely to me. It’s been a wish for her to come here for the holidays.” “Her wish, huh?” Your mom smiles. “Yes, Tita.” “What about you? You’re joining us in these, so do you have a wish?” Your mother presses on, burning through Steve’s eyes with her eye contact. Steve however, was blushing for different reasons. “I do, Tita. It’s ambitious, so let’s see.” “Well don’t be shy, tell me!” Your mom squeals excitedly, motioning to Steve to whisper it into her ear. And so he does, your mom is smiling bigger and bigger and bigger as she hears.

“Oh, susmaryosep! (Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!) That’s a nice wish, very ambitious, I like it! I’m sure it will come true. I’m sure.” Your mom exclaims clapping her hands together in pure excitement. “You...you think so?” Steve asks shyly, seeking for reassurance. “It’s a tough one, Tita. I’m sure you’ve heard the expression “a man out of time” being used on me. It’s a very tough thing to do, you know, to adjust to current events and current society.” He comments, scratching the back of his head. “And you are doing good, Steve. You’re an honest hardworking guy. I promise. I think when the time is right, you’ll get what you wish for.” “Well let’s see, Tita, let’s see.”

FOODS MENTIONED BELOW!!!

Pandesal (bread rolls)

Puto (rice cakes)

Bibingka

Suman

Permanent Taglist: @world-of-aus @world-of-aus-reads @whew-oh-em-gee @tomholland-96 @lordyitsjordy @letstalkaboutsebbaby @thee-soom-soom @lookiamtrying @vesper852 @hailhydra920 @buckybarnesthehotshot @heyiamthatbitch @rodrikstark

A Christmas Wish Taglist: @faithtrustandrobbiekay

(If you would like to be included in a tag list let me know via ask! ❤️☺️)

#mcu #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x filipina!reader #steve rogers x filipino!reader #filipino marvel #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers oneshot #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers fanfiction

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ehliena · 4 years

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FilAms referring to the Philippines as the acronym PI while they are calling homelanders for the use of Filipinx and Pinxy is peak irony. That is without adding these two facts: the letter F is a loaned letter in Tagalog from the oppressors (and its corresponding phoneme too) and that the demonym is an appellation to Felipe II of Spain. And for someone like me who reads and writes in Baybayin since age 15, to write a Baybayin X seems like a dark humor scene in a Taika Waititi comedy. (Yes, I do Baybayin shiz for fun, but not as serious as Kristian Kabuay and NordenX.)

I first encountered PI among FilAms during Christmas vacation 2002 in LA; and Pilipinx when I joined the theatrical production of a FilAm musical at CalState East Bay in 2016. I understand that it is their culture and I respect it, and I assimilate. I easily assimilate with what I call my Nickelodeon voice, which I have acquired from when jailbroken cable services became a thing in Mega Manila and through my theatre background. But when in Rome, we live the Roman way, so as the Santa Mesa-born foreigner, I have to hide that dark laughter every single time someone uses PI.

But of course, 2020 had to make us see PI-using FilAms pressuring homelander to use Filipinx, citing political correctness and gender neutrality (while white American Pemberton, the killer of Filipino transwoman Jennifer Laude, was given an absolute pardon by Duterte).

So, let us start my TEDtalk.

P.I. is a colloquial acronym for Putanginamo (the equivalent of Fuck You) used by conservative Filipinos who probably are only retelling a story.

Tsismosa 1: “Minura ni Aling Biring si Ka Boying.” (Aling Biring cursed Ka Boying)

Tsismosa 2: “Oh? Ano ika?” (Really? What did she say?)

Tsismosa 1: “Malutong at umaatikabong PI.” (A hard and surging PI.)

Then I imagine PI as the curse when FilAms say some sentences:

“Are you flying back to Putangina?”

“I miss Putangina. We went to Boracay.”

“Duterte is President of Putangina.”

But it’s fine with me. I understand they mean well and I know that Americans, as first world as they are, have poor grasp of history. It’s a little sad though that FilAms have not always been reminded of this special footnote in the history of the United States:

P.I. stands for Philippine Islands. That’s the colonial name of the Philippines as a commonwealth republic under the United States, which the republic stopped using when the 1935 Constitution was enacted in 1946. Yes, in case people are forgetting, the Philippines has long been a state with full sovereignty recognized by the United Nations (of which we are a founding member of and wherein Carlos Romulo served as President) and recognized by Shaider Pulis Pangkalawakan.

Also, RP is used to refer to the Republic of the Philippines before the use of the standard two-letter country code PH.

I’m not saying FilAms should stop using PI to refer to the Philippines but I’m saying that the roots of that practice is from American oppression that homelanders have already cancelledttt.

Our oldest bank in the Philippines is BPI. It stands for Bank of the Philippine Islands, originally named El Banco Español Filipino de Isabel II because it was founded during Queen Isabella II’s reign. It was a public bank by then; perhaps comparable to the Federal Reserve. Upon its privatization during the American occupation, the bank started using BPI for the sake of branding because it was the Americans who christened us with P.I. (I have a theory that Manila was a character in Money Heist because the Royal Mint of Spain used to have a branch in the Philippines and operated very closely with BPI. And my other supernatural theory is that our translation of peso which is ‘piso’ affects our economy. ‘Piso’ means ‘floor’ or ‘flat’ in Spanish.)

Now, going back. To me, P.I. is more appropriate an acronym for the ethnic group of Pacific Islanders. I don't think I need to explain further why. These would be the natives of Hawai’i, Guam, Tuvalu, Kiribati, and other islands in the Oceania continent, and maybe even New Zealand. If a curious FilAm raises a question of whether Filipinos are Pacific Islanders or Asians or Hispanics, the answer is long but easy to understand.

The Filipinos live in a group of islands within the Pacific Plate. The Philippines is an Asian country, following conventions of geopolitical continental borders from the other. We are Hispanics by virtue of being under Spain for three fucking centuries. And Teresita Marquez is Reina Hispanoamericana because why not? (We could’ve been a part of America still if not for the efforts of Quezon.) So, the quick answer is that the Filipino is all of it.

Yes, the Filipinos have an affinity with the Pacific through nature and geography. Think of the earthquakes, volcanoes, flora and fauna, and the coconuts. And they even look like us. The earlier inhabitants of the archipelago were Pacific Islanders who were introduced to Hinduism and Buddhism as being closer to the cradles of civilization India and China. Then, the Islamic faith has grown along with the rise of the kingdoms and polities in Southeast Asia. The Spaniards arrived in the archipelago, to an already civilized Islamic polity - too civilized that they understood how diplomacy is necessary in war. We knew that it resulted to the defeat and death of Magellan who was fighting for Rajah ‘Don Carlos’ Humabon. Then came the 333 years of being under Spain AND (sic) the Catholic Church which made us more Hispanic. Our Austronesian/Malayo-Polynesian languages (Tagalog, Bisaya, Kapampangan, Ilocano, Bikol, Waray, Cuyonon, etc.) have kept our Asian identity intact - unlike Latin American countries where the official language of each is one of the Romance languages; thus "Latin".

(It is only towards the end of that 333-year Spanish rule that the 'Filipino' emerged to be something the oppressed could claim, and for that we thank the poet in Jose Rizal. I see a parallel in how Christians claimed the cross, the former symbol of criminals in Jewish tradition, to become the symbol of God’s love and salvation through Jesus. Wow. That’s so UST of me. Lol.)

You add into the mix that our diaspora is so large and identifiable, the data gatherers decided to mark the tables with “Filipino” - too Asian to be Hispanic and Pacific, too Pacific to be Hispanic and Asian, and too Hispanic to be Asian and Pacific.

What many FilAms do not realize everyday is that unlike the words Blacks, Latinx, Asians, or Pacific Islanders, or Hispanics, the word Filipino is not just a word denoting an ethnic group. At its highest technical form, the word Filipino is a word for the citizenship of a sovereign nation, enshrined in the constitution of a free people whose history hinges on the first constitutional republic in Asia.

By state, we mean a sovereign nation and not a federal state. (Well, even with Chinese intervention, at the very least we try.)

By state, we mean we are a people with a national territory, a government, and a legal system inspired by the traditions of our ancestors and oppressors. It may be ugly, but it is ours, and we have the power to change it.

This one may be as confusing as Greek-Grecian-Greco-Hellenic-Hellene, but let’s examine the word 'Filipino' further when placed side by side with related words.

*Pilipinas is the country; official name: Republika ng Pilipinas. It is translated into English as “Philippines”; official name: Republic of the Philippines. Spanish translates it into “Filipinas”, the Germans “Philippinen”, the French “Les Philippines”, the Italians “Filippine”.

*Pilipino refers to the people. It is translated into English as Filipino. The plural forms are ‘mga Pilipino’ and ‘Filipinos’.

*Philippine is an English adjective relating to the Philippines, commonly used for official functions. It may be used as an alternative to the other western adjective ‘Filipino’ but the interchangeability is very, very nuanced. Filipino people not Philippine people. Filipino government and Philippine government. Philippine Embassy, Filipino embassy, not Filipino Embassy. Tricky, eh?

*Filipino also refers to the official language of the state (which is basically Tagalog).

*Filipiniana refers to Philippine-related books and non-book materials (cultural items, games, fashion, etc.) which could be produced by Filipinos or non-Filipinos, inside or outside the Philippines.

*Pinoy is a colloquial gender-neutral demonym; comparable to how New Zealanders use the word Kiwi.

The demonym Filipino has evolved from that of referring only to Spaniards in the Philippines into becoming the term for the native people who choose to embrace the identity of a national.

It started from when Jose Rizal wrote his poem “A la juventud filipina” and he emerged as an inspiration to the Philippine Revolution through Andres Bonifacio’s leadership. (But take note of ‘filipina’ because ‘juventud’ is a feminine word in Spanish.)

Today, no less than the 1987 Philippine Constitution, which was neither written by Hamilton nor a group of straight white men but by people of different faiths, genders, disabilities, and skin colors, in its first five words in both Filipino and English versions read: "Kami, ang nakapangyayaring sambayanang Pilipino", translated as "We, the sovereign Filipino people” validates the legitimacy of the word as gender-neutral, alive, aware and awake with our history of struggles.

Article 14 Section 7 of the current Constitution says Filipino is the national language. And while I agree that it is not really a real language but an alias for Tagalog, it is a conscientious codification of a social norm during the time of Manuel Quezon as he is aiming for the world to recognize the unified Filipinos as a sovereign people. People. Not men. Not heterosexual men. People.

It is a non-issue for the homeland Filipino that the word Filipino refers to the people and the language. But FilAms are concerned of political correctness due to an understandable cultural insecurity also felt by other non-whites in the US. And there is added confusion when FilAms pattern the word Filipino after the patriarchal Spanish language, without learning that the core of the grammars of Philippine languages are gender-neutral. The Tagalog pronoun "siya" has no gender. "Aba Ginoong Maria" is proof that the Tagalog word 'ginoo' originally has no gender. Our language is so high-context that we have a fundamental preposition: “sa”.

It is difficult to be a person of color in the United States especially in these times of the white supremacy’s galling resurgence. Well, it’s not like they have been gone, but this time, with Trump, especially, it’s like the movement took steroids and was given an advertising budget. But for FilAms to force Filipinx into the Philippines, among homeland Filipinos, is a rather uneducated move, insensitive of the legacies of our national heroes and magnificent leaders.

The FilAm culture and the Filipino homeland culture are super different, nuanced. It’s a different dynamic for a Latinx who speak Spanish or Portuguese or whatever their native language is - it reminds entitled white English-speaking America of their place in the continent. It should remind a racist white man whose roots hail from Denmark that his house in Los Angeles stands on what used to be the Mexican Empire.

Let’s use a specific cultural experience by a Black person for example: the black person not only has Smith or Johnson for their last name, but there is no single easy way for them to retrieve their family tree denoting which African country they were from, unless the Slave Trade has data as meticulous as the SALN forms. Let’s use a specific cultural experience by a Mexican-American with Native American heritage: the person is discriminated by a white US Border Patrol officer in the border of Texas. Texas used to be part of Mexico. Filipinos have a traceable lineage and a homeland.

Filipinos and FilAms may be enjoying the same food recipes, dancing the same cultural dance for purposes of presentations every once in a while, but the living conditions, the geography, the languages, social experiences, the human conditions are different, making the psychology, the politics, the social implications more disparate than Latinxs like Mexicans and Mexican Americans.

I don’t know if it is too much advertising from state instruments or from whatever but FilAms don’t realize how insensitive they have become in trying to shove a cultural tone down the throats of the citizens of the republic or of those who have closer affinity to it. And some Filipino homelanders who are very used to accommodating new global social trends without much sifting fall into the trap of misplaced passions.

To each his own, I guess. But FilAms should read Jose Rizal’s two novels, Carlos Romulo’s “I am a Filipino”, materials by Miriam Defensor Santiago (not just the humor books), speeches of Claro Recto, books by historians Gregorio Zaide, Teodoro Agoncillo, Renato Constantino, Nick Joaquin, Regalado Trota Jose, Fidel Villaroel, Zeus Salazar, Xiao Chua, and Ambeth Ocampo, and really immerse themselves in the struggle of the Filipino for an unidentifiable identity which the FilAms confuse for the FilAm culture. That’s a little weird because unlike Blacks and the Latinx movement, the Philippines is a real sovereign state which FilAms could hinge their history from.

I have to be honest. The homelanders don’t really care much about FilAm civil rights heroes Philip Vera Cruz and Larry Itliong, or even Alice Peña Bulos, because it was a different fight. But the media can play a role sharing it, shaping consensus and inadvertently setting standards. (But it’s slightly different for Peña Bulos, as people are realizing she was already a somebody in the Philippines before becoming a who’s who in the US, which is somehow similar to the case of Lea Salonga who was not only from the illustrious Salonga clan, but was also already a child star.) How much do Filipino millennials know about Marcoses, Aquinos? Maybe too serious? Lol. Then, let’s try using my favorite examples as a couch potato of newer cultural materials accessible to FilAms - cultural materials on television and internet.

FilAms who only watched TFC wondered who Regine Velasquez was when ABSCBN welcomed her like a beauty queen. Those with the GMA Pinoy TV have a little idea. But they did not initially get why the most successful Filipino artist in the US, Lea Salonga, does not get that level of adulation at home that Velasquez enjoys. Was it just Regine’s voice? No. Well, kinda, maybe, because there is no question that she is a damn good singer with God knows how many octaves, but it is the culture she represents as a probinsyana who made it that far and chose to go back home and stay - and that’s already a cultural nuance Filipinos understand and resonate with, without having to verbalize because the Philippines is a high-context culture in general, versus the US which is low-context culture in general. I mean, how many Filipinos know the difference of West End and Broadway, and a Tony and an Olivier? What does a Famas or a Palanca mean to a FilAm, to a Filipino scholar, and to an ordinary Filipino? Parallel those ideas with "Bulacan", "Asia", "Birit", "Songbird".

You think Coach Apl.de.Ap is that big in the Philippines? He was there for the global branding of the franchise because he is an American figure but really, Francis Magalona (+) and Gloc9 hold more influence. And speaking of influence, do FilAms know Macoy Dubs, Lloyd Cadena (+) and the cultures they represent? Do FilAms know Aling Marie and how a sari-sari store operates within a community? Do FilAms see the symbolic functions of a makeshift basketball (half)courts where fights happen regularly? How much premium do FilAms put on queer icons Boy Abunda, Vice Ganda? Do FilAms realize that Kris Aquino's role in Crazy Rich Asians was not just to have a Filipino in the cast (given that Nico Santos is already there) but was also Kris Aquino's version of a PR stunt to showcase that Filipinos are of equal footing with Asian counterparts if only in the game of 'pabonggahan'? Will the FilAms get it if someone says ‘kamukha ni Arn-arn’? Do FilAms see the humor in a Jaclyn Jose impersonation? Do FilAms even give premiums to the gems Ricky Lee, Peque Gallaga, Joel Lamangan, Joyce Bernal, Cathy Garcia Molina, and Jose Javier Reyes wrote and directed? (And these are not even National Artists.) How about AlDub or the experience of cringing to edgy and sometimes downright disgusting remarks of Joey De Leon while also admiring his creative genius? Do FilAms understand the process of how Vic Sotto became ‘Bossing’ and how Michael V could transform into Armi Millare? Do FilAms get that Sexbomb doesn’t remind people of Tom Jones but of Rochelle? Do FilAms get that dark humor when Jay Sonza’s name is placed beside Mel Tiangco’s? What do FilAms associate with the names ‘Tulfo’, ‘Isko’, ‘Erap’, ‘Charo’, ‘Matet’, ‘Janice’, ‘Miriam’, ‘Aga’, ‘Imelda’ and ‘Papin’? Do FilAms get that majority of Filipinos cannot jive into Rex Navarette’s and Jo Koy’s humor but find the comic antics of JoWaPao, Eugene Domingo, Mr Fu, Ryan Rems, and Donna Cariaga very easy to click with? Do FilAms know Jimmy Alapag, Jayjay Helterbrand, Josh Urbiztondo? Oh wait, these guys are FilAms. Lol. Both cultures find bridge in NBA, but have these FilAms been to a UAAP, NCAA, or a PBA basketball game where the longstanding rival groups face each other? Do FilAms know the legacy of Ely Buendia and the Eraserheads? Do FilAms know about Brenan Espartinez wearing this green costume on Sineskwela? Do FilAms know how Kiko Matsing, Ate Sienna, Kuya Bodjie helped shape a generation of a neoliberal workforce?

That list goes on and on, when it comes to this type of Filipiniana materials on pop culture, and I am sure as Shirley Puruntong that while the homeland Filipino culture is not as widespread, it has depth in its humble and high-context character.

Now, look at the practical traffic experiences of the homelanders. People riding the jeepneys, the tricycles, the MRT/LRT, the buses, and the kolorum - the daily Via Crucis of Mega Manila only Filipinos understand the gravity of, even without yet considering the germs passed as the payments pass through five million other passengers before reaching the front. Add the probinsyas, people from periphery islands who cross the sea to get good internet connections or do a checkup in the closest first-class town or component city. Do FilAms realize that the largest indoor arena in the world is built and owned by Iglesia ni Cristo, a homegrown Christian church with a headquarters that could equal the Disney castle?

Do FilAms know the experience as a tourist's experience or as an experience a homelander want to get away from or at least improved?

Do FilAms understand how much an SM, a Puregold, or a Jollibee, Greenwich, Chowking branch superbly change a town and its psychology and how it affects the Pamilihang Bayan? Do FilAms realize that while they find amusement over the use of tabo, the homelanders are not amused with something so routinary? Do FilAms realize how Filipinos shriek at the thought that regular US households do not wash their butts with soap and water after defecating?

Do FilAms understand the whole concept of "ayuda" or SAP Form in the context of pandemic and politics? The US has food banks, EDDs, and stubs - but the ayuda is nowhere near the first world entitlements Filipinos in the homeland could consider luxury. But, that in itself is part of the cultural nuance.

Do FilAms know that Oxford recognizes Philippine English as a diction of the English language? While we’ve slowly grown out of the fondness for pridyider and kolgeyt, do FilAms know how xerox is still used in the local parlance? Do FilAms know how excruciating it is to read Panitikan school books Ibong Adarna, Florante at Laura under the curriculum, and how light it is to read Bob Ong? Do FilAms realize that Jessica Zafra, with all her genius, is not the ordinary homelander’s cup-of-tea?

Do FilAms know that Filipinos do not sound as bad in English as stereotypes made them believe? Do FilAms really think that Philippines will be a call center capital if our accents sound like the idiolects of Rodrigo Duterte’s or Ninoy Aquino’s Philippine English accent? Do FilAms realize how Ninoy and Cory speak English with different accents? Lea Salonga's accent is a thespian's accent so she could do a long range like that of Meryl Streep if she wants to so she wouldn't be a good example. Pacquiao's accent shows the idiolect unique to his region in southern Philippines. But for purposes of showing an ethnolinguistic detail, I am using President Cory Aquino’s accent when she delivered her historic speech in the US Congress as a more current model of the Philippine English accent.

Do FilAms bother themselves with the monsoons, the humidity, and the viscosity of sweat the same way they get bothered with snowstorms, and heat waves measured in Fahrenheit?

Do FilAms know that not only heterosexual men are accepted in the Katipunan? Do FilAms even know what the Katipunan is? Do FilAms realize that the Philippines had two female presidents and a transwoman lawmaker? Do FilAms take “mamatay nang dahil sa’yo” the same way Filipinos do? Do FilAms know the ground and the grassroots? Do FilAms know the Filipino culture of the homeland?

These are cultural nuances FilAms will never understand without exposure of Philippine society reflected from barrio to lalawigan, from Tondo to Forbes Park. It goes the same way with Filipinos not understanding the cultural weight of Robert Lopez and the EGOT, or Seafood City, or Lucky Chances Casino, or what Jollibee symbolizes in New York, unless they are exposed.

The thing though is that while it is harder for FilAms to immerse to the homeland culture, it is easier for homeland culture to immerse into the FilAm’s because America’s excess extends to the propagation of its own subcultures, of which the FilAm’s is one.

We’re the same yet we’re different. But it should not be an issue if we are serious with embracing diversity. There should not be an issue with difference when we could find a common ground in a sense of history and shared destiny. But it is the burden of the Filipinos with and in power to understand the situation of those who have not.

Nuances. Nuances. Nuances.

And while I believe that changing a vowel into X to promote gender-neutrality has a noble intention, there is no need to fix things that are not broken. Do not be like politicians whose acts of service is to destroy streets and roads and then call for its renovation instead of fixing broken bridges or creating roads where there are none.

The word ‘Filipino’ is not broken. Since Rizal’s use of the term to refer to his Malayan folks, the formal process of repair started. And it is not merely codified, but validated by our prevailing Constitution, which I don’t think a FilAm would care to read, and I cannot blame them. What's in it for a regular FilAm? They wouldn’t read the US Constitution and the Federalist Papers; what more the 1987 Saligang Batas?

The bottomline of my thoughts on this particular X issue is that FilAms cannot impose a standard for Filipinos without going through a deeper, well-thought-out, more arduous process, most especially when the card of gender neutrality and political correctness are raised with no prior and deeper understanding of what it is to be a commoner in the homeland, of what it is to be an ordinary citizen in a barangay, from Bayan ng Itbayat, Lalawigan ng Batanes to Bayan ng Sitangkai, Lalawigan ng Sulu. It is very dangerous because FilAms yield more influence and power through their better access to resources, and yet these do not equate to cultural awareness.

Before Rizal’s political philosophy of Filipino, the ‘Filipino’ refers to a full-blooded Spaniard born in the Philippines, and since Spain follows jus sanguinis principle of citizenship, back then, ‘Filipino’ is as Spaniard as a ‘Madrileño’ (people in Madrid). The case in point is Marcelo Azcárraga Palmero - the Filipino Prime Minister of Spain.

But the word ‘Filipino’ was claimed by Rizal and the ilustrados to refer to whom the Spaniards call ‘indio’. The term was then applied retroactively to those who helped in the struggle. It was only later that Lapu-Lapu, Francisco Dagohoy, Gabriela and Diego Silang, Sultan Kudarat, Lorenzo Ruiz, and GOMBURZA were called Filipinos.

The word 'Filipino' was long fixed by the tears and sweat of martyrs through years of bloody history in the hands of traitors within and oppressors not just of the white race. The word Filipino is now used by men, women, and those who do not choose to be referred to as such who still bears a passport or any state document from the Republic of the Philippines. Whether a homelader is a Kapuso, Kapamilya, Kapatid, DDS, Dilawan, Noranian, Vilmanian, Sharonian, Team Magnolia, Barangay Ginebra, Catholic, Muslim, Aglipayan, Iglesia, Victory, Mormon, IP, OP, SJ, RVM, SVD, OSB, OSA, LGBTQQIP2SAA, etc., the word 'Filipino' is a constant variable in the formula of national consciousness.

Merriam-Webster defines Filipina as a Filipino girl or woman. Still a Filipino. Remember, dictionaries do not dictate rules. Dictionaries provide us with the meaning. To me, the word Filipina solidified as a subtle emphasis to the Philippines as a matriarchal country faking a macho look. But that’s not saying the word Filipino in the language is macho with six-pack.

The word Filipino is not resting its official status on the letter O but in its quiddity as a word and as an idea of a sovereign nation. The words Pilipino, Filipino, and Pinoy are not broken. What is broken is the notion that a Filipino subculture dictates the standard for political correctness without reaching the depth of our own history.

If the Filipinx-Pinxy-Pilipinx movement truly suits the Filipino-American struggle, my heart goes out for it. But my republic, the Philippines, home of the Filipino people, cradle of noble heroes, has no need for it (not just yet, maybe) - not because we don't want change, but because it will turn an already resolved theme utterly problematic. The Filipinos have no need for it, not because we cannot afford to consider political correctness when people are hungry, abused, and robbed off taxes. We could afford to legalize a formal way of Filipino greeting for purposes of national identity. But as far as the Filipinx, it should not be the homeland’s priority.

We may be poor, but we have culture.

From Julius Payàwal Fernandez's post

#Filipino #culture #Philippines #filipinx #pinxy #pinoy #filipina #pinay

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gemstone-gynoid · 4 years

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How is your relationship to Christianity and spirituality in general?

A bit on the ephemeral side of things. Although I suppose as of right now I'm less atheist than i was a few years ago.

In regards to the double placebo effect theres a part of me that knows that it's kinda bunk, but I also know that believing in something is good for the temperaments, so I shall believe in something to enact holistic wellness into myself.

If a patient is told about the placebo effect, and is told hes going to be taking a sugar pill but encouraged to force the placebo effect to work, it does work.

I've been raised Roman catholic to the best that a Filipino in America married to an indifferent American Christian (I think my dad was a Baptist but converted to RC for mom? He was married to 2 other women in the distant past so that's already not very Christian) can do. I've been to church more often than my peers I would think. And have done CCD although this in my area was taught mostly by volunteer retirees and high schoolers who have no educational background. I would know, I was a teacher for a year. We just repeated the textbooks. I have opinions on Christian Music and I definitely appreciate the Latin chant stuff more than aspirational Christian rock.

Through tumblr (and I think mostly through following @smarmyanarchist for years) I've been slowly reading about witch/ pagan/wiccan/etc. Type stuff. Again it's the enforced placebo effect, but if drawing a symbol that represents "GOOD LUCK ON THIS CURRENT EVENT" on scrap paper then burning it makes me feel better, then it works. And I've always liked lighting candles anyways. Spells upon yourself are effective magic in that sense. And that's what Christian rituals are about too, strengthening the bond you have with God, believing in spiritual healing. If you feel you're spiritually whole, your temperament will feel well, allowing you to feel sufficient to do whatever in the meatspace.

Also through witchblr postings I learned about the concept of escaping inwards to a form of mental sanctuary. At first mine was just a cosy bedroom with a pond right out front, but its become a worldbuilding exercise. 3 continents worth of civilizations. Might write a story one day about it.

When my dad died it was right around when Discovery channel aired this special on immortality featuring Adam Savage and future prosthesis ideas. I was morbidly afraid of death then and still am now. (I mean that's just normal to all really). I know that under Cessation Of Existence I literally wouldn't care after I die, but I'm interested in ensuring that doesnt happen for i long time. And I believe ensuring such safety should be the goal of all humans. Immortalization in any way. Pie in the sky literally, but metaphorically too. So that goes hand in hand with my appreciation of archival efforts, for instance.

#random thinking #ofthefog #christianity #long post #you just started me rambling

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1011

1. Five facts about your current relationship OR five facts about your single life.

a) I haven’t been truly single in...around 6 years, so it’s been a bit of an adjustment.

b) It was my last day as an intern yesterday (but they hired me, so I’m staying after all, haha) and since I’ve felt like I gained a family in the last two months, I thought it would be okay to give professionalism a break and share what had actually been going on with me on my first day on the job, aka when the breakup was still fresh and I was still figuring out how to function all over again. It unsurprisingly surprised everyone and my superior said something like, “Omg it’s the [company name] curse; it’s so strong it broke you guys up before you even got hired” which got a laugh out of me.

c) I’m not interested in seeing other people.

d) Probably wouldn’t be, for a long time. My trust has been irreparably broken.

e) Seeing couples in public has now become annoying. I’m happy for them, but it’s still annoying.

2. Five facts about a past relationship.

a) I’ve known her since kindergarten, but we didn’t become friends till 7th grade and didn’t start dating until junior year of high school.

b) We were legal with her family and her parents loved me and I them. On the other hand, I was never able to come out to my family because she broke up with me before I could be able to do so.

c) She introduced me to vaping.

d) We were never able to truly travel together, which we always planned to do after graduating. The farthest we reached was Batangas.

e) She never knew where she wanted to eat whenever we were out, so I was mostly the one who decided which restaurant we were going to have lunch or dinner in.

3. Five facts about your mother.

a) She has always worked in hotels, which is great because it has always allowed us to get room and buffet discounts, heh.

b) Her family (aka my grandparents, her, and my uncles) struggled financially for a little bit when my grandpa lost his job when she was in college. When her friends would go to fast-food restaurants, my mom would always decline, saying she had schoolwork to finish. In reality she just couldn’t afford anything, and the only money she held was for public transport.

c) She is a little childish considering her age, and I cannot stand her petty tantrums. She was childish even when I was a kid, and I believe my emotional well-being suffered because of that.

d) She has a high pain tolerance and the only time I’ve seen her struggle was when she was getting a tattoo on the back of her shoulder.

e) She is also extremely religious and it especially grinds my gears when she gets hypocritical about it, which is just about all the time.

4. Five facts about your father.

a) He has only ever dated my mom.

b) He grew up extremely poor and at some point his parents actually stopped being able to afford his tuition. Instead of being kicked out, a few nuns who served in the school paid my grandparents a visit and told them my dad would be given a scholarship since he had good grades and it would have been a waste if he got expelled.

c) He was a dancer in high school, knows how to play the guitar, and he also apparently knows how to draw very well. There’s a lot I don’t know about him, considering he has worked abroad my whole life.

d) He breaks or loses his reading glasses once every few months. I know which parent I definitely take after.

e) I have never seen him cry.

5. Five facts about your sibling. If you have more than one, pick one. Or do them all!

a) She had problems crying in school until she was in around 2nd or 3rd grade.

b) She’s in college and is currently taking up digital filmmaking.

c) She’s the biggest introvert I know. I’ve never seen her be willing to do anything silly; not even with her friends.

d) She can’t handle spicy food.

e) Her main interests have shifted from Harry Potter, to One Direction, to 5SOS, and now K-pop. I believe she’s into Seventeen the most.

6. Five facts about your town.

a) The upper part of the city offers amazing views of the Metro Manila skyline, which has recently made the place a kinda popular nightlife destination.

b) There’s a lot of hidden gem restaurants here but because most people spend more time complaining about how far my city is and how difficult it is to get to than actually just making the damn ride over here, the restaurants stay hidden and uncrowded. Their loss.

c) Used to be massively underdeveloped for most of my childhood and teenage years. Now there are several malls and I can easily go to a McDonald’s, Burger King, and Starbucks right outside our village.

d) Because you basically have to drive through a mountain to get to the upper part of the city, it’s not the safest highway and fatal crashes are unfortunately common.

e) The city is known for its suman, except I hate Filipino rice cakes and this actually doesn’t do anything for me.

7. Five facts about your house.

a) It used to have a balcony until we had that transformed into another bedroom. So technically it is still a balcony; it just hasn’t had that purpose for a while now.

b) My mom used a little cheat in our dining room and installed a huge wall mirror. Most people visiting for the first time always note how much larger it made the room (and thus the house) look.

c) I live in a neighborhood where the houses are of the same model and look (think the Squidville episode from Spongebob). That said, balconies are included in all properties. When my parents decided to renovate ours and turn it into a room, so many houses slowly followed suit as well. It was amusing to see it unfold, knowing the idea undoubtedly originated from us. It was like a revolution.

d) We don’t have a gate, which irritates me to no end because it allows noisy neighborhood kids to just march and run around our property. Sometimes they even make it to our carport and backyard, ugh. :(

e) Speaking of backyard, the landscaping for it used to be a pebble mosaic designed to look like a swan. But over the years the quality deteriorated, so my parents to opted to have the pebbles crushed into tiny rocks and embedded onto the ground. I don’t exactly know what this technique is called, but yeah.

8. Five facts about your niece or nephew. If you have more than one, pick one. Or do them all! Skip if you don’t have one. I don’t have any, but I do have a godson so I’m going with him as I don’t want to leave any section blank.

a) He was born sometime in December. I honestly don’t remember when, loooooool. Worst godmother ever.

b) He’s actually one of my first cousins, but I guess my aunt saw something in me and wanted me to be his godson. I’ve been a terrible one, though; I’ve never bought him gifts or money or anything – to be fair, I was made a ninang when I was like, 14 or 15 lmao. But I can definitely make up for it now that I’m starting to earn my own money.

c) He’s the calmer, sweeter version of his older brother. His kuya was a pretty naughty kid when he was his age.

d) He mainly speaks English, as how most younger parents raise their kids these days. He understands Filipino of course, but he mostly communicates in English.

e) The last time I saw him, he was in the middle of a ridiculously adorable interviewing phase where he’d approach anyone in the family and start asking them a series of questions: what’s your favorite color? What food can’t you live without? What’s your favorite subject in school? Would you rather win $1 million dollars or know how to fly? It typically got exhausting after the 25th question, but it was so cute nonetheless. None of us have any idea where it came from.

9. Five facts about your education.

a) I went to a private, all-girls, Catholic school from kinder up to high school, and then moved to a public, co-educational, non-sectarian university for college. It was the very epitome of culture shock, lemme tell ya.

b) Some classes I had in my first school that might be uncommon in others have included penmanship (because my school has its own brand of cursive), environmental education, and I don’t remember what this next class was called anymore but we were basically taught how to write professionally? Like how to write cover letters and resumés and all.

c) My first school is extremely homophobic and went so far as to ‘hire’ spies tasked to check up on who’s been in same-sex relationships, list them all down, and report them to the guidance office so that they can be called one by one and be interrogated, and for the most part, pressured to come out. I don’t know if they still do this, but the younger batches are definitely more vocal and woke now thanks to social media and I doubt those practices would still fly today.

d) My university education was a breath of fresh air. Suddenly people were wearing sleeveless tops, mobs and rallies were a common sight to me, and my instructors were now atheist and not shoving Catholicism and Jesus and salvation down my throat. I loved every single day of it.

e) The most interesting class I took in college was a course called Pornography in Electronic Media, under the broadcast communication department. Getting to tell people I take a class where we sit down to watch porn was such a fucking ride.

10. Five facts about your job.

a) I got hired last Wednesday, but I had been interning for the company for around two months before they extended the offer.

b) I’m pretty much gonna be doing the same things I did as an intern, except I’m now accountable for any boo-boos I make HAHAHAHA. Also, I’m gonna be paid a lot more, obviously, which is sweet. I really thought we interns were severely underpaid considering the work that we help with on a daily basis.

c) My role is going to be with another department which is a little scary because it means the things I learned with the department I actually interned at will be pretty much useless. I’ll be starting from scratch again, but I’m still excited.

d) It’s a work-from-home situation, which is a relief for me because I don’t have to wake up early and I don’t have to face traffic.

e) My job interview for the position was actually a bit of a bomb because I absolutely fumbled with and messed up the first question I was asked; and since first impressions matter, I really thought I lost the gig from the very start of the interview. I made up for it as the interview continued and fortunately was able to break the ice and build a rapport with the team members who spoke with me, and I guess I did enough for them to want to take me in anyway.

For those who are curious, I blanked the fuck out when they asked “Tell me something about yourself that isn’t in your resumé.” Slowest 15 seconds of my life.

#survey #surveys

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onyxheartbeat · 4 years

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My mother did the best she could raising my sister and myself, and she is my best friend now. I try to not hold any grudges against her methods, as there is no such thing as a perfect parent. I don’t want children, and I never have at any point in my life, however I often think about how I would raise a daughter if I had one. Learning from the mistakes of my mother (Asian and/or Catholic raised girls will specifically be able to understand this), I would stress the importance of sexual independence. Many Asian mothers do not discuss sexuality with daughters, and that is harmful. In hindsight, I sometimes am upset with my mother for perpetuating the harmful construct of virginity. I would make it a priority to explain to my daughter that virginity is not only a construct established to control women’s bodies and sexual independence, but also an offensive word, depending on someone’s religious or nonreligious beliefs. I am not religious. The word virgin is in direct association with a religious figure. This is why I find its usage inappropriate and out of touch in current society, as it may offend someone who does not identify with Catholicism or any religion for that matter. This brings me to a woman’s hymen. It is extremely harmful for young women to grow up believing that a part of their body should remain intact because it is in direct relation to their worth or sexual identity. The hymen is a woman’s own concern, and nobody else’s. I specifically remember being at a store with my mother when I was about 15 years old, and asking to try tampons. She said “No.” When I asked why I couldn’t, she said “Because you have a hymen,” and walked away, ending any chance for open dialogue. This is common for Filipino mothers, but harmful nonetheless. Let me give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she was concerned about the rare toxic shock syndrome, or simply wanted my body to be fully formed before inserting anything inside of it; after all, that would be understandable. However, she being a mother, I think a much more intelligent response would have been to simply explain those concerns to me, and explain that my hymen does not define my sexuality or identity in any way. Look at parts of the world where girls as young as twelve are arranged to marry and have sex with adult men. They are raised to believe their vagina is reserved for a man’s pleasure. In some countries, genital mutilation to women is a common form of punishment or means to control her sexuality. This brings me to my next point; sexual activity. I understand it is a parent’s right to not allow their daughter to date or have sex. However, I find this to be harmful as well if the practical reasons are not explained. Growing up, my mother found sex scenes in film to be unacceptable for me to watch. I never understood why consenting people having sex, a completely natural act, was considered bad to watch? In America, sex in general is feared. The sexual education system harmfully perpetuates abstinence as a form of birth control. Many schools don’t have a decent sexual education class, not even covering the cruciality of consent. Condom commercials and advertisements are unseen, and girls are hit at a young age with persecution from a myriad of sources about either promiscuity or “sluttiness.” Trying to process this information on top of balancing the political concepts of pro-life and pro-choice, a construct of virginity, pressures into having sex or not having sex, wreak havoc on girls sexual independence. Trying to find the information you need about sexual health should be easy, and so should finding compassion and understanding from teachers and parents. It’s vital that girls know growing into their sexual confidence is nothing to be ashamed of, and is something to be celebrated. They should be taught sexual autonomy, and how to form healthy sexual relationships with respectful people. They should be taught anatomy doesn’t define them. They should be taught that having sex or not having sex is their decision—nobody else’s.

#diary #women

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muchymozzarella · 5 years

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I'm Filipino, and Guillermo Del Toro once mentioned how his Mexican upbringing matches the Filipino one due to Catholic violence.

(seen here: Noli Me Tangere The Opera 2017 -- the characters of Basilio and his mother Sisa. The setting is Spanish-occupied Philippines. Basilio’s brother Crispin was murdered by a priest and a sacristan, and his mother is driven to insanity before her own death)

Mexican and Filipino Catholicism are full of violence because our experiences under Spanish rule were violent. We weren't desensitised to the violence, but sometimes we are surprised by the disgust and terror of other people, especially white Americans and Westerners in general, when they see the violence.

Because it's not this sanitised hero violence they see in Hollywood films full of guns and bombs that don't leave a scratch on a hero -- it's real, bloody violence that isn't there to scintillate. It's just... something we got used to, because of how cheaply our lives were treated under colonial rule.

(source)

Even now, as a Filipino, I see people sharing Facebook photos of bloody murders without bothering to censor a single thing. I see photos of dead people, real people murdered just a few days ago in areas I’ve been to or areas I know of in the city, and people just share them because we’re just... used to the violence. We don’t think its unusual.

Moreover, our Catholicism is inundated with images of the bloody Christ, of terrifying, suffering faces in murals and carvings. It reflects our realities as people. That's the context Guillermo Del Toro is coming from -- he isn't religious anymore, but he was raised in a very religious environment, and that's what happens. We see real violence and we do not flinch away from it. It's our lives. It's real. We own it.

But sometimes I wish we didn’t.

#Philippines #Filipino #violence #Catholicism #catholic violence #guillermo del toro

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