#i was getting perceived a bit much

[vrieseasees]

This is all cause I lost an old drawing of Okapi guy in bomber jacket that I liked from idk a decade ago

#tbh i stopped drawing at work cause then enough ppl started talking to me abt it and that bugged me #i was getting perceived a bit much #and i dont get enough draw time at home ughh but this is me squeezing somethjng in #frm the weekend lol #anyway once upon a time i liked drawing animals more than ppl when i was a wee child #i drew a few furries when i was young too? cat people probably? #not sure what happened to that #maybe im tryjng to exercise somethjng that atrophied here... #oh shit i should be asleep already #and i threw in rando typography draws too cause why not #:3 #str8 frm the new tab #oh and cat guy is unnamed/generic and i hit up random animal generator and got jerboa but i think i kinda like em haha

[radio-and-the-dirt]

dude i don't really care if people ship aroace characters just please acknowledge that they're aro and/or ace. like,, aro and ace people still can and do enter into relationships of various types at times and not every aro or ace person completely lacks attraction anyway and some date even if they do, so like, ship them if thats what you want but please just be respectful.

just acknowledge that the character is aro and/or ace. do some research about what that might mean for them if you need to. treat those characters in a way that respects their identities and doesn't completely brush them aside.

im just tired. we can be in relationships. we can not be in relationships. we are still aros and aces. dont try and erase what little representation we get.

i would like to note that i see things in this way because i have never seen a 'professional' writer (like non-fanfic or not a small online creator) specify where an aro/ace character sits on those spectrums or how they actually view relationships of any type. i've also never seen any 'professional' writer's characters get to explore or express that part of themselves enough in their stories to give much better an understanding than just "not really interested in sex or romance".

if a more specific understanding of a character was provided and it meant that that character wouldn't be involved in romantic and/or sexual relationships or was repulsed by them than yeah, I wouldn't want people shipping them at all but i dont think i've ever seen that so thats not what this is about.

#this is mostly about one character because theyre on my mind atm but i've absolutely seen it happen to others #its just really disheartening to have confirmed representation and then see so much of a fandom ignore that because they want to ship thing #i love this character as rep as well. i think they capture certain things for me really well #i almost never come across it but pairings of characters whether romantic or something else are really fun when written from an aroace lens #but thats not what i see happening with what i'm thinking about #its just infuriating to see so much of the fandom accept certain details that were revealed in a certain way but then argue that this- #-character's orientation hasn't been confirmed anywhere when it was revealed in the exact same way #just say you don't care about respecting us at this point man #if you know what character im referencing here about then uhhhhh cool #i hope no one minds me tagging these next few #aromantic #asexual #arospec #acespec #aroace #might remove those in a bit idk i get quite nervous being perceived sometimes

[good-beanswrites]

hi! may i request some mikoto + amane (platonic obvs) … anything? they are very dear to me 😭

Yes!!! Thank you so much for the request -- they really are such a good pair ;-; (The thing is, I had so many nice scenes in mind about how they parallel each other, but they wouldn't know or reveal that about each other so I kept restarting...) Anyway, here's something right after Mikoto's first trial/verdict!

Mikoto could pick up on someone’s bad mood from a mile away, though the skill was unnecessary when the other party very clearly and calmly informed him, “I’m in a bad mood.”

After refusing his offer, Amane turned back to a thick textbook she’d been taking notes on. Didn’t kids usually complain that school was already a prison? She must have wanted the full experience. He'd worked nonstop at his studies as well, but this was a new level. Amane often reminded him of his little sister, though she always took the extra step like this. His sister would have jumped at this opportunity to play a few rounds of their favorite card game.

“It’ll be fun!”

He flashed a smile, but it had no effect on her severe expression. “I know you’re just trying to comfort me about our verdicts. I refuse to be pitied.”

“Comfort and pity are two very different things. But anyway, it wasn’t either of those things.” He gave an easy shrug “To be honest, I’m just a little bored. It’s weird not having any work to do during the day.” 

Mikoto couldn’t remember the last time in his life he’d had so many hours to himself. A lot of the others were fun to play games with. A few of the sportier prisoners helped him stay active. He enjoyed smoking breaks with the other men. Still, he was left to his own devices for the majority of his time. It was maddening. He’d recently requested some more art supplies, having used up the last batch, but they had yet to come in. Now with the verdict announcement, he wasn’t sure they’d ever arrive.

“That is your own problem. I already have something to do.” Her eyes lingered on the cards for the briefest of moments before returning to the book. “I told you, I’m not in the mood for it.”

Regardless of her hostility, he took a seat beside her. He leaned his arms out on the table. “We don’t have to play the same game.” The last time they'd played as a big group, several prisoners pulling the tables together to fit everyone. Amane had kept very quiet, eyes darting around at the cards as she tried to keep up with the rules. Not many of the others noticed the frustration clear in her face. Mikoto wasn’t the type to let her win out of pity, though he had begun to mutter the rules and strategies to himself a bit more as the night went on… 

“Is there a game you liked to play at home?”

 “No. There was no time for games in the house.” 

“All work and no play… hah… I know what that’s like.” He slumped his cheek onto his arm, lazily shuffling the cards around. He felt bad for bothering the girl if she truly was upset. He thought it was the bad experience that made her reject him, he hadn’t realized there were also family issues attached. Usually he could read people well; maybe he was losing his touch. He seemed to be losing touch with a lot of things, these days.

He readied a game of solitaire. 

“Mikoto?” Amane kept her face turned away. “There was… one game.”

“Yeah?” Mikoto shuffled the cards back together. He slid them over to her. “You should teach me!” 

She didn’t touch them. “You probably already know it.”

“Nah, I only know a few games. I’m better with tarot cards, though those aren’t really the gaming type. Come on, what is it?”

She told him the name of the game, insisting it wouldn’t be worth playing. She kept her attention on the textbook, but her eyes weren’t reading any of it. 

“Ahh, I’ve heard of that one! We start with four cards, right?” He started dealing them out.

“No, five –” she pointed to the deck, urging him to add two more. 

“Right, right.” He laughed lightly. “And the goal is to get pairs, and put them in a pile, uhh, here.”

Amane shook her head. She shifted her body slightly towards him. “You must be thinking of a different game. There’s actually three piles for pairs. One here, one here, and when it’s your opponent’s turn…” 

Her eyes gleamed as she explained the rules. She pointed to various cards, telling him exact moves and point values. “And to win, you need to –” Her expression shifted. “You… you already knew all this.”

“Of course not!” He put on his most convincing smile. 

She deflated. “You’re not a very good liar.”

“Tch, tell that to the warden.”

His shoulders sagged along with her. If Amane could see right through him, why was the rest of Milgram still coming up with stories about what he did and didn’t do? “Well, I might already know the rules, but it’s been a long time since I’ve played. You can still give me a hand. Plus, if you really are in such a bad mood, it’ll be good to take a break from your studies. You should always take a break when things get too overwhelming, yeah?”

She gave him a withering stare.

“Eh? What’s that face for?”

“Alright, let’s play. You can go first.”

“I mean it, what was that look? Aw, come on…”

#milgram #mikoto kayano #amane momose #see - the thing is they both had crimes about 'protecting themself' but both would deny it was for that reason #they both seem to have some family trauma but would never admit it #theyre both used to putting on their best behavior and being 'good' for others but hardly realize that themselves #they are both in denial all the time !!!!! #so i tried to show them getting along for their own perceived reasons -- mikoto thinks he likes her because she reminds him of his sister #and amane thinks she likes him because hes being kind about their verdicts #and while both are right theyre Also drawn to each other because they are very similar at their core #and both have skills with reading people/picking up on cues making it tough to lie to one another #that forced honesty makes for a solid friendship haha! #i also remember a comment from yamanaka that amane would be the worst at card games because shed have trouble with the rules #she seems old enough to handle complex games but she probably never got to play a lot at home ;---; and mikoto probably learns a lot of #types of games (and tarot) so can connect with even more people #i thought long and hard on whether mikoto would let someone else win but he doesnt seem the type (plus amane would notice) #once again i know amane starts speaking in the plural but this comes a bit before that #yaay thank you so much for the request! this was really fun to do - i hope you enjoy! #ive thought a lot about amane and john but less on her and mikoto lol so this was nice :D #drabbles

[storytellering]

Love your art and I'm generally curious as to what the appeal of Dante/Vergil is to you? Do you have any hc that you're drawing from or is it just personal preference? I struggle to imagine the right conditions for them to be involved in that way and would like to know what inspires you.

I will premise this by saying, that I’m actually not a MASSIVE fan of just DV for its own sake, if Nero isn’t also included (or like, with the assumption he will, 100%, be included once he’s in the picture). To me it’s kind of a baseline pairing?

As in, I don’t even have to think about it. Of course they’re in love, of course they’re together, of course they’re fucking. It’s almost an afterthought to me, the way the married parent couple of the protagonist in a story inherently are. It doesn’t necessarily interest me by itself, that fact, it’s just a certainty, it just is. I guess, for me, the interest in DV specifically comes more out of what other people make of it, because for me I’m almost always approaching first from the perspective of Nero being there also, haha.

There’s also the fact that I have a lot of hc about just like, the way demons function as a species, I guess. I took a lot of things dmc canon gave me and went like, “alright, time to project this into the most self indulgent, non-human society but humanoid looking species I can think up in my brainhead”. To me a lot of the appeal comes from it being not necessarily a predestined thing as much as like, a biological inevitability - (going to speak in definitives about my own hc from here on, so not making any statement about canon dmc lol) demons mate with their kin, and with whoever deems worthy - and twins from the same litter would inevitably end up being the other’s first partner, their first choice, their other half. In a sense, to me, they’re soulmates - though honestly I prefer to think of it more as two halves of the same soul, following the implications in 3 and the 3 manga that them being twins comes from the spawn of Sparda being too powerful to just be born in one body. That might sound like I’m just saying they’re soulmates in a different way, but not really - to me, if I had to go the soulmate route, Nero would be both of their soulmate - because the two of them make one single soul, and the match to that would be Nero’s.

I kind of just go off of the assumption that they are in love and have been since they were in the womb, you know?

That colors the way I see their every interaction. To me, in their fighting, their squabbles and their feuds, there’s always love at the source. Familial, yes, but romantic and sexual as well - and to me, when I think about them, it’s all one and the same. To love each other like family is to be intwined, is to be mated, is to be a pack and is to be one.

That’s the more deep thoughts I have about it, I have more shallow/surface thoughts (and specifically ship dynamic thoughts about like, what appeals to me about them sexually lol) but if I had to quickly sum it up that’s what I would say, I think. 

#Sorry if this is a bit jumbled/all over the place lol #I actually never really stopped to think about it besides just liking it i guess #Like to me things like dante’s lines to vergil read as flirting the fights read as full of tension #every time I see them fighting I could very easily picture them just stopping mid stab to make out yknow #I guess it also comes down to how much you personally like conflict in a ship #or how much rivalry/fighting reads as charged or tension to you #Plus again the whole demon thing #And in a way also ig I just really like thinking of demon twins as a mating pair #I like them hybrid the best but in that context I do like to hc vergil as super fertile and Dante as near infertile #and them navigating this nature in a sense of like. It’s not what they want out of life. #It’s not what they naturally gravitate towards nor what they would choose if it were up to them. #But its nature and its playing cruel tricks on them #and ig in a way to me that’s a feeling I like to project as a trans allegory #I don’t often veer to making characters trans in a realistic human way bc it hits a bit too close to home #And rather I prefer adding a lot of things that are exactly like being trans but not in a human way #And I think that’s that to me yknow? #Nature + instinct imposing something on you that you have to actively struggle against for the rest of your life #And compensating and making yourself be perceived as who you feel yourself to be despite of it #Yes this is still all about weird demon pseudo omegaverse bullshit no I cannot physically hold myself back from getting into it #asks #vague mpreg allegory/mention #thank you for the question! lots of food for thought lol #spardacest

[bumblingbabooshka]

One of the best Voyager scenes to indicate Tuvok & Neelix's dynamic and how I think Tuvok is just as if not more 'annoying'(positive) than Neelix is when Neelix pours Tuvok a fresh squeezed glass of a fruit juice blend and Tuvok's like (paraphrased) "I don't want to drink this." and Neelix is like "Can you please try it?" and Tuvok's like "I don't want to, you're really bad at this sort of thing. It's going to taste bad." and Neelix says that Ensign XYZ said she LOVED it, she even had a second glass! And Tuvok says Ensign XYZ could drink poison without a second thought and Neelix is like "Tuvok could you please just TRY it? Just try a little SIP of it PLEASE??" and Tuvok sighs and rolls his eyes and sniffs it before taking a sip and it turns out he loves it. Turns out it tasted good actually. And then after all that Neelix tries to talk to him over eggs (which he's again cooking fresh for him) and Tuvok tells him he doesn't wanna hear "the life history of his breakfast." Absolutely insufferable this man I would have burned his eggs on PURPOSE!!!!

#I love Neelix so much and I think he and Tuvok are very funny together - irritating4irritating #People say 'Neelix is so pushy with Tuvok!' and you know what? I think Tuvok can handle it. I think maybe he does need to be pushed - #down a flight of stairs. (he's my favorite character and he's so annoying...TUVOK!!!!!) #Tuvok: -kicking and screaming- I don't want to drink the juice!!! It's poison!!! You're trying to poison me!!!!!!!!! #Neelix: Can you please drink the juice. The fresh squeezed juice I made for you Mr. Vulcan??? Can you please??? #Tuvok: Fine but if I die it's your fault. If I die from the poison you're FORCING me to drink it's on y- Oh this is delicious actually. #and don't tell me 'Neelix didn't make it SPECIFICALLY for Tuvok' bc I know he didn't but he says #'I'll start squeezing that second glass!' after Tuvok finishes his sip so he IS freshly squeezing it #Neelix: -makes Tuvok fresh squeezed juice- #Tuvok: Are you trying to poison me??? #Neelix: -talks to Tuvok while making his eggs- #Tuvok: Can you be quiet??? #<- TUVOK!!!!!!!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU EHHEHEHEH <3 #Tuvok is the most annoying guy ever bc he doesn't care about what people think and is a snob with a lowkey superiority complex #vs Neelix is perceived as annoying (post his relationship with Kes) bc he cares a lot about being useful and helping the crew and sometimes #is too pushy because of that but listen...I think Neelix is sweet and genuinely trying his best - after the Kes plotline with him ends I #really don't find him objectionable. Just chatty & a bit overbearing maybe Meanwhile Tuvok !!! #Meanwhile Tuvok!!!!!!!!! HHEHEHHE #st voyager #star trek voyager #I think they should have done more with Neelix thinking the crew of Voyager were spoiled - specifically how Tuvok acts Like That sometimes #little lord Tuvok. oH SORRY...for DEIGNING to speak while preparing your eggs your HIGHNESS!! #I think people do a disservice to Tuvok by not talking more about how he's kind of a hardass and a snob v_v also a disservice to Janeway #indirectly bc her bestie is kind of a hardass and a snob and what does that say about her?? #I also wish Neelix kept up a bit of that 'these people are crazy and also so soft oh my god shut up about the food being bad - we're trying #to SURVIVE!!! Eat the Leola Root!!' from the earlier seasons...I like when he shows he has a bit of bite #It's just funny and interesting that Janeway isn't friends with Tuvok bc he's 'not like other Vulcans' - she's friends with the most #Vulcany Vulcan ever and I love that for them. #CRIMINAL that we don't ever get any in-depth insight into their friendship #Tuvok

[jacksmusesdrv3]

Parallels: Maki tries to get the truth from the Killing Game Busters at a critical point for them, regarding the situation. Neither can - or will - oblige

(Context note: it’s possible that Ouma genuinely does not know anything, but it’s just as possible that he’s been playing dumb for the same reason as Gonta- it all depends on what it is they know, about the secret of the outside world)

#kokichi ouma #gonta gokuhara #don't mind the tone of the older post too much #it's a bit more 'Definitive' than I'd write it these days but I had feelings at the time #also. I'm getting irritated by takes that Ouma was just. playing Gonta like an idiot #it doesn't gel with the way I perceive this situation at All #so I had to dig that up #and toss that tidbit into the void so. yeah #okay back to work #*side note: I know that Ouma wasn't exposed to the Flashback Light that's not- #-the point of this post hhhhhh #what I mean is that the SotOW could like #make or break everything we know about the scenario depending on what it is #and if it's different from the 'truth' we came to learn at the end

[spotsupstuff]

I love NAE and I know he is a bit (well, more than a bit) of an antagonistic cretin, but it feels like his anti-social personality might be a coping mechanism for personal issues and insecurities he is struggling with. I could be completely wrong and he's just simply a bad person, but I feel like it's more than that. Either way I think he needs a therapy animal.

hoyly hell you've just given him characterization shots in so many directions that i don't know where to look first GJDSKLMCL

he's not exactly antisocial or anythin! antagonistic cretin he is, but that's just how he rolls, lil bit of a douche- have you seen that one vid with a guy walking his Emu hold on here- he embodies this in most situations

on one hand NAE is a lil shithead but he's a Fun shithead. cursin' up a storm is kinda just what some people do/how they interact. heavens know that when i bring out the curse n nasty words it means i'm havin a nice chill convo with someone

after this

he went and notified his own Admin/Mechanic about it so she could've go and help out Sparrows with things

if he was just Plain asshole stuff like this wouldn't happen

these two hang out, Euros gets a rise outta him by bringing up something painfully stupid, NAE calls him a fucking idiot with an apocalyptically low count of neurons and then they continue their hang out

he's neither a bad person or coping with his own issues/insecurities! he's just a tiny ball of rage who's rolling through life wishing he had one more finger so he could flip people off. bastard is prolly the best off outta the dramatic tragedies that are most of the Eo iterators

guy is guying 🤷‍♀️

n honestly he'd... probably kick an animal sooner than take one on for therapy reasons, he would Not have the patience

#spot says stuff #rw #oc tag #not callin ya stupid or anythin! gon say that to make sure since this could come off as such- everyone will perceive chars in their own- #-way n thats valid. just with ocs i do kinda feel the need to correct a wee bit since i know 'em best n have the power to do so #but nah NAE is kinda one dimensional in that he doesnt have much drama/tragedy going on #one of the main things about the characterization that he Does have is that he Would step in front of euros to protect him from smth #like imagine some other iterator givin euros shit in the off string post ascension au. euros is goin thru it with the rot in his puppet #hes tired he struggles with just standin n so on. its a lot without someone comin at him n yellin into his face. NAE wouldve traveled with- #-him to the Root since they are neighbours. yah hes putting himself between the two! #see Gem n Expiation r prolly the ones who get closest to bein villains. n thats by denying n ignoring Spores dire condition #the whole 'busting sparrows n euros' business is in similar vein like with candace in pnf the consequences dont really come to him for that

[bluespring864]

Olga Danilovic ticks something off her bucket list by winning a mixed doubles match with Novak Djokovic at United Cup 2024 in Perth

#olga the mvp of the serbian team! #yes she lost both of her singles matches (but against much higher ranked players and she put up a real fight) #and she saved both of those mixed doubles matches even though the other teams kept targeting her as the perceived weaker player #also i love how expressive she is #in contrast to nole who i think has toned down his reactions over the years #because it used to get the audience riled up against him #she was understandably a bit nervous playing with him but she got more comfortable as the match went along #and the interview about this being on her bucket list was the cutest thing #olga danilovic #novak djokovic #tennis #united cup 2024 #sorry for the length of this post #but i loved that dynamic so much <3

[gaiaxygang]

kanghan dangerous romance (trips and falls down the stairs)

#gaiaxyposting #dangerous romance #mini (Hopefully) ramble incoming #ive been thinking about kanghan 'walking emotional neglect symptom checklist' for a while now #ever since that interview where perth described kanghan as someone who has everything except love #so much of his behaviour like how he always hesitates to believe he can achieve anything #and how he chases after sailom's praise. even the way hes so prone to crying #it all makes so much sense when you see it that way #and even the way kanghan's reactions to his dad seem disproportionate to how his dad talks to him (earlier in the series) #which can indicate many things! but it also makes me think about how often the effects of emotional neglect are viewed #because its perceived to not be as bad as other forms of abuse (spoiler alert! it is) #theres a bit more going on with kanghan but this ^ is likely a problem thats been going on for a While #kanghan is relatively well adjusted id say. the fact that hes able to express to his grandma that he felt neglected by his dad is Good #RANT OVER i think its getting too personal #i care him :(

[ctrophyduo]

I talk a lot about my qualms with c!Phil. His behavior to c!fundy is cruel and unusual at points. But that’s the problem; it’s unusual. Because, seemingly, there is no real line of reasoning for why he treats c!fundy like that.

People often flock to surface level arguments when I say this, something something butcher army something something the time he almost scammed him something something. To which my only response is: c!Ranboo is his neighbor.

(And to the second thing- by that logic my mom should disown me because I signed up her email a few years ago for colleges and now she gets a comedic amount of emails everyday and it’s funny. But I guess I should be disowned and tormented for this. Or something. I’m not sure…)

Anyway. My point is that any excuse he makes for his hatred holds no actual weight once you realize he has little to no anger for c!Tubbo or c!Ranboo- the former of the two being far more proactive in the butcher army plot than c!Fundy was.

And here’s the thing; I couldn’t accept there was no answer. There had to be some estranged reason I didn’t get and I needed to figure out what it was.

And I reasonably think I have. Now obviously, the Morbillion words I’m about to write were probably not intentionally written (as most things on the Dream Smp tend to be) But my relationship with authors intent is a bit strained for this server. Whether Phil wrote this intentionally or not, I’ll praise it nonetheless for being an interesting piece of dots to connect that add a fascinating layer to c!Phil.

To start; c!Phil doesn’t like responsibility. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say this. Everytime he discusses c!Wilburs death with someone- he always takes partial blame, but never full blame.

The sentence will start with “I killed him… but-“ he will *always* tact on something else to blame on the end, usually the government. There is also the time he said “Because the government made me kill my son.” I don’t think it gets any more explicate than that.

The thing is too is that c!Phil killing c!Wilbur didn’t have tangible consequence. Obviously there is emotional consequence: grief, sorrow, etc. But nothing tangible; L’Manberg is gone, the new president has been selected to lead the New L’Manberg, c!Tommy and c!Tubbo- whilst found family figures are not blood related and therefore they are not c!Phils responsibility, etc.

Oh except for one thing:

c!Fundy.

You know the kid who’s an orphan because of c!phil, the kid who no longer has a dad because of c!phil, the kid who is directly impacted by the loss of his blood family… because of c!phil.

(Idk if I just have the “I need to over explain everything because Twitter will Misinterpret my words and kick my ass if I don’t” disease but just to elaborate: Me saying this isn’t exactly putting more importance on c!fundy than the others mentioned. It is just that he is the only *Tangible* consequences. Anyway)

c!Phil, is morally (and If we were abiding by our world rules for just a moment; legally) obligated to take on c!fundy. He is c!Phils sole responsibility.

And that’s where the problem is. He can’t push c!fundy onto something else. He can’t give c!fundy away or find an excuse to get rid of him. c!Fundy becomes synonymous with Responsibility and Blame.

And if c!phil takes c!fundy under his wing. He is *admitting* that c!Wilburs death is 100% his fault. It is nobody else’s. And he must take full responsibility; and full responsibility, means all the grief that comes with that.

Think about it. You’re an immortal, you’ve seen nations rise and fall. People die beautifully, tragically, unfairly, etc. You havn’t felt true grief in a very long time, if you felt grief for every person you’ve met that’s passed you don’t think you’d be standing where you are today.

However, your son dying- no less to *your* sword must be a hell of a lot to take on for someone who’s grown comfort in apathy.

So he doesn’t want that. He can’t handle genuine grief.

So when the opportunity arises to get rid of it. He immediately pushes c!fundy onto the one thing he’s *always* blamed c!wilburs death on; the government.

See c!Phils excuses for doomsday and similar events is that he doesn’t want another event like c!Wilbur to happen. But ironically, when c!fundy gets wrapped up into (what c!phil perceives as) government corruption, c!Phil immediately- without hesitation- disowns him right then and there.

And for someone who so badly wants to ensure nothing will happen like what happened with c!Wilbur. He’s a bit shit at that huh. But that’s the thing;

he gets to push c!fundy, the personification of responsibility and by proxy grief- onto what he *really blames for c!wilburs death* the government.

The worse part is- c!fundy would’ve listened! Had c!Phil talked with him and discussed his opinions I guarantee you c!fundy would’ve folded like an omelette (remember when c!fundy lied and said he thought Doomsday was justified just to get c!Phil to love and hang around him more? Yeah.) Hell, the last thing he says to c!phil is “I love you!” Clearly showing he cares and values c!phil and his opinions. And c!phils only response, to having a window to protect another family member from government corruption is; “you’re dead to me.”

Ah. I love irony sometimes. Isn’t it funny that government corruption supposedly led to his sons death and he wishes it upon his grandson who is currently being corrupted by the government? I think that’s funny.

TL;DR;Please shut the fuck up; c!Fundy is the personification of grief and responsibility, c!Phil pushes him away at all opportunities (especially pushing responsibility for him onto the government) to avoid having to deal with the true grief at taking responsibility for c!Wilburs death.

Yeah. That’s about it. This is lengthy. And I’m sorry for any errors. I have shit eyes but I like analysis, so. If you disagree too that’s ok. I think discussion is fun. Thanks for reading!

#dream smp #meta analysis #c!fundy #c!phil #philza #fundy #no word limit is fun #is this a controversial take? idk. i don’t go on here much #Dsmp #dream smp meta #don’t get it twisted btw. this sorta connection made me like c!phil a bit more #not as a person. #like If he was real we would fight in a Walmart parking lot #but as a character it’s interesting #he’s like. shitty but figuring out why is fun #immortal and kinda childish. #i like subversion of expectation #it’s such a childish solution to having Big emotions #i like that coming from a character perceived and expected to be wise #anyway.

[daffythefox]

those small jokes and jabs some people will make at you when you’re friends with them like. they just wear me down so much. like I could have a face up for multiple hours and be relatively fine and then they could start doing that (like. I mess up slightly and they make a joke at my expense, or someone points out something I’m sensitive about for a joke, or someone makes a joke where the punchline is “hey you seem like you’re barely holding in your emotions) all of a sudden it’s nine times the work to be out and social without acting like a total dick (shooting back with something that plays on their insecurities as well so they sill stop pressing me) or having to leave because I’m about to break down, which is incredibly embarrassing and makes me feel like I’m just making a show so other people will feel guilty (not that I’m worried they will feel guilty, I’m worried they will think I will want them to feel guilty and that they will see me as lesser for that instead). “get something you’re fine with people joking about so they will make jokes about that and it won’t hit you as hard” why are you entitled to being able to make jokes at my expense? maybe I don’t want you to make fun of me at all!

#actually npd #anything I can perceive as criticism #also when you're in that state and people will like. go easy on you or make consolations so you feel better #that makes me feel SO MUCH WORSE #like just fucking treat me normal and I'll calm down #no 'hey are you ok?? you seem really wound up :(' in front of EVERYBODY #and I'll have to either fake good enough to be able to convince the others I'm fine (which is impossible #bc it's in their heads that you're not fine and at that point you probably don't have a good enough face to fool everybody) #or I'll take a jab at them like 'really? i seem wound up? gosh! you have amazing observational skills. someone needs to get you a medal!' #which subtly tells them to DROP THE SUBJECT #bc if you don't I'll CONTINUE BEING RUDE TO YOU #no but sometimes that also doesn't work and they keep pressing and that's when I have to step away or bluntly change the subject #and then i also hold a grudge against them for doing so when they were probably just concerned about my well-being #they just didn't get the (albeit relatively obvious) social cues #that's not their fault but it is also incredibly annoying in the moment bc it is causing me to continue spiraling #a bit of a vent #also merry christmas #me when i

[bubbieboy]

i think it’s fun that blossom and buttercup butt heads the most vs brick who targets boomer and more or less gets along swell with butch

#once again this is just me stating the obvious but i think about it a lot anyway #like with buttercup it’s a general refusal to follow the given instruction #vs boomer whose issue with brick tends to be incomprehension or lack of capability #and like. the difference between a leader who wants a Good Clean outcome vs one who just wants to have fun at all costs #butch has no reason to oppose brick because their goals basically align similar to how bubbles and blossom function #whereas buttercup Wants to be reckless under the instruction of someone who simply is Not #and boomers situation is a bit different because he really doesn’t oppose Brick much at all #he’s just a bit slow to catch on and will tend to speak out of turn out of excitement to contribute to a situation #vs butch who quite literally just parrots a lot of what brick says in a lot of his dialog #boomer is just ‘soft’ enough to be an easy target #it also Is just really fitting of brick to aim that kind of attitude at someone who’s less likely to do anything about it #whereas blossom generally has a real point she wants to drill into buttercups head so the resulting fight is. kind of the goal #idk where i’m going with this i just saw a post that made me want to organize these thoughts somewhere #bubble journal #editing to add more #like alright boomer is. undoubtedly a part of their group #i don’t think he’s a true odd one out he Isn’t #he scraps with them and likes the same things they do and generally likes to participate with them #he just so happens to be the ‘worst’ relative to the other two at being a Rowdy/ruff Boy #at least in the way they perceive one ought to be #so when he gets a bit too obviously naive he’ll get singled out #but it’s clear he can generally keep up with them anyway #if only for the fact that brick and butch can instantly tell when bubbles wasn’t able to #does this make sense i feel like i lost the plot

[chibishortdeath]

So much happening in the world and in my personal life at once and I am completely unable to do anything about any of it. I am completely exhausted. I need to move out, but I can’t.

I’ve been stuck with a headache for a few months.

#text post #vent post #tw vent #cw vent #I’d say delete later but I don’t ever actually do that anyway #maybe I should go through vents and delete them Al #tbh I’m starting to realize that maybe never being allowed to do anything and never being taught how to do anything as a kid was neglect #it probably also wasn’t normal that I tried to be the ‘easy kid’ and avoid any perceived trouble as much as physically possible #I usually just sit in the furthest part of the house dissociate and try to immediately appear fine if anyone walks in and sees me #idk maybe I should just make that super self indulgent Simon’s Quest comic since it’ll probably be practically vent art anyway #he’s a little bit too relatable for comfort #and man I didn’t even fight Dracula to end up messed up how lame smh 😔 #I feel like I would just end up feeling guilty that I’m not doing something else more important though #most of the things I can do right now I can’t without guilt that stops me somewhere through #and that includes trying to rest haha yippie :/ #I can’t even draw the blorbo dead about it like it’s past that level of bad #I guess I shouldn’t even suggest doing anything I can’t do too #I don’t even wanna look at my instagram rn I can’t fix any of that either #idk if I should go into any details or not but I literally just can’t change anything #and I know I can’t get better unless I leave but I can’t leave and there’s nowhere to go #even places online are starting to become uninhabitable #we truly live in a time :/ #I’m just typing anything I think of as I think of it #tldr ​I am a terrible person who can’t get better because I’m stuck in a terrible situation and everything sucks basically #i’m exhausted #i feel so trapped #it feels like I have no autonomy or effect on the world at all #ugh I’m not explaining anything correctly enough anyway #I guess supper is almost ready and I should stop ranting at nothing #I’m basically just here to try to make it to 29 at least for the silly Simon game reference haha that is so pathetic

[soldier--poet--queen]

I'm having a hard start to the week and my ocd is really flaring up again. It's hard to enjoy anything when my mind keeps policing itself on exactly what levels of happiness I "should" feel when watching or playing my comfort media (including policing itself on how many times is "normal" to rewatch/replay them). If you could pray for me, I'd really appreciate it

#prayer request #i'm stressed enough about interpersonal and family conflicts #and now whenever i even think about the things that make me happy i get stressed because my mind decided i'm not #feeling the right emotions about it. or that i'm watching/playing/thinking about it too much or too little #like who cares? who's the hobby police here? #makes matters worse that someone who i thought was my friend basically told me to my face that my emotions don't matter #i feel like i can't do anything right #and i know they're just feelings and not reality but when feelings are the lenses for the glasses you perceive life with #everything gets colored by them and you still have to deal with that. like i know the world isn't this red color but man #it sure will feel like it for a bit

[starswallowingsea]

8, 22, 49 eichi and tsumugi!

i got the nine of cups, five of swords, and the nine of swords (fucking AGAIN) so uhm. angst i guess.

disclaimer i havent read most ! era stories with them i kinda just wrote what came to mind from what I do know but if anything doesnt match with canon. yeah.

word count: 546

It was so easy for Tsumugi to get caught up in Eichi’s plans. Eichi was addicting, like a drug slowly sapping the life from Tsumugi, but he made him feel oh so good. 

Tsumugi wasn’t sure what exactly brought them together. They couldn’t have been more opposite. Eichi was charismatic and born into a rich family and Tsumugi hid in the background and grew up attending tupperware parties for his mother. Eichi was beautiful beyond words and Tsumugi was painfully average. 

Eichi should have been out of his reach and yet…Tsumugi found himself sitting besides Eichi in the hospital, discussing plans for their restructuring of Yumenosaki, song lyrics and melodies, and their futures. 

Eichi was desperately in love with Wataru and Tsumugi knew this. He could never compete for that attention, but he hoped that maybe just for a moment he might be able to take Eichi’s full attention. Just once was all he asked for. 

Days turned to weeks turned to months and Tsumugi stuck with Eichi through it all, pulling all-nighters at the hospital and at the school to make sure things ran as smoothly as they could. Keito had asked if he was okay, though Keito and his seven cans of red bull didn’t have much room to talk. 

It seemed that every step Tsumugi tried to take forward, to just hold Eichi’s hand in his own and feel his warmth, Eichi took two steps away, towards a different future. 

So when the day came and fine as they knew it had been disbanded, Tsumugi couldn’t say he was entirely shocked. It had been a long time coming. As soon as the five eccentrics had their social executions on the stage then fine would be no more. There would be no use for the unit to exist in the way it had. 

Eichi said some platitudes which Tsumugi accepted with a smile on his face, just letting the words move in one ear and out the other. 

And then Eichi grabbed his hand. 

Oh god, Eichi grabbed his hand and was he squeezing it? Why would he-- 

“Are you okay, Tsumugi?” he sounded concerned. 

How should he answer? He can’t be honest, can he? Yeah, I’m just trying not to freak out because I’ve been longing for you to notice me like this just once let me be the only thing you think about. I’m not okay actually. I’m so hopelessly in love with you I don’t know what to do with myself. 

You’re like a drug and I can’t bear to stop taking my daily dose of you.

“I’m fine, Eichi-kun. Don’t worry about it.” 

He smiled and Eichi squeezed his hand one more time before dropping it. 

“I’m glad, my little bluebird.” 

Tsumugi fought to keep the warmth from his cheeks at the modification of his nickname. 

“Y-yeah…” 

He didn’t want to go. He desperately wanted to stay, to take one last deep breath of Eichi before they parted ways. 

Sure, he’d still see the other boy at school on his good days, and there was nothing in particular stopping him from seeing him in the hospital on his bad days, but it wouldn’t be the same. 

“Well, I’ll be seeing you around I suppose. Take care, Tsumugi.” 

“Take care, Eichi-kun.” 

#message in a bottle #ensemblestars #shay writes #enstars #ensemble stars #tsumugi aoba #eichi tenshouin #one sided eimugi #i am going to explain my choices a bit for this one #so i had the 9 of cups be eichi and the energy i feel like tsumugi would perceive him as having #very warm and inviting and intoxicating #the five of swords is that sense of betrayal and feeling unsure if everything is right #and the nine of swords was tsumugi's worries and ultimate inability to act on his feelings at all #anyway uhm. maybe not what you were expecting but the stupid nine of swords is haunting me tonight ig #came up in two different decks three times #i have another wip for oat for hiiteto but im struggling w that one #might do another redraw for it tmrw but i've already done two #i might just need to read some of tetora's wiki page or smth to get more of a feel for his character #okay im done rambling in here hope this was enjoyable and i got their dynamics right #idk much about mugi so im entirely guessing on his characterization but idk i also dont struggle with that most of the time so #i think im fine? maybe? you tell me.

[soulsxng]

>:3

#[what is she getting us into now? -ooc-] #I'm gonna redo the muse selection page yes #but that doesn't mean I can't put these dummies on there until I actually finish the new one #I was gonna announce them yesterday or the day before and totally forgot #it was probably a good thing I didn't because there /was/ a couple things I had to fix first #they've been on there a couple days now though so like. some of you might have already noticed #but just pretend you didn't alskdfna #Also yeah I've come to accept the fact that I'm just always gonna cycle my muses every few months as some get more/less active #which yes also means that I just have a bunch of finished bios for some of the side muses and such #I don't like getting rid of them because it's so much easier to swap them out when I want to! Just do an edit or two and that's that! #LIKE THE FACT THAT I STOPPED MID SENTENCE ON ONE OF SHILO'S INFO BITS JFC SELF-- #I FIXED IT I'M SORRY GUYS DON'T PERCEIVE ME PLEASE