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saiidahyunie · 28 days

Text

i wonder everything about us

minatozaki sana x f!reader || last part from ballroom extravaganza and pt.1

synopsis: your composure is starting to break, and it lands you in front of the very person that started it all.

warnings: fluff ; angst ; cursing ; alcohol ; arguing ; reader is a dumbass/conflicted ; misscommunication ; 127 doyoung and g-idle miyeon appear! ; dahyun, minju, and somi also have a small cameo ; tzushu and seuirene ship ; almost cheating sorta? ; kinda proofread

a/n: wrapping up the sha rich story here. enjoy! :)

there’s been more situations worse than this one. break the eggs and someone’s gotta make the omelet.

“who was that?”

you’re sitting on the couch while mina paces in front of you, arms crossed over with your chest in a self-soothing gesture. sana was sent back to your room, but you can’t help but wish that she was right here and next to you—it would make you feel braver than she was.

“well?” mina demands. “who?”

“my…she’s my girlfriend.” the lie you just spat tastes like ash in your mouth.

“she’s older.”

“not by much,” you protest. “only eight years.”

“eight—? y/n, you’re almost twenty-two. what are you doing with a woman nearly in her thirties?”

“i’m turning twenty-three in a month or so. don’t insult me.”

“i just don’t know what a twenty-nine year old woman would want with a college kid.”

“kid?” you scoff. “geez, that’s so rich coming from you. how old is your business associate again?”

“this isn’t about me, smartass. it’s about you getting involved with someone whose intentions are a big fat question mark!”

“so what?! why would it matter if i’m graduating next semester with my life ahead of me. stop treating me like how auntie was with you!”

mina stares at you, silently, and her lack of reaction only serves to piss you off even more. so you keep going:

“and sana doesn’t have any shitty intentions with me! she’s my—my girlfriend and she’s good to me! she treats me well and she likes me. she texts me everyday and she comes over all the time and—!”

“does she help with expenses?”

you’re stopped dead in your tracks. “what?”

“does she give you money? you haven’t complained about finances recently.”

“i never complain about fiances, mina.”

“i know, but i can always tell when you’re stressed about them and you haven’t been. so let me ask again: does sana give you money?”

“i—” you stammer with the words. you can see the deeper question in mina’s eyes, probing you. forcing you to be truthful. “she…”

“i think if you’re gonna ask y/n about her finances, it’s probably safest to talk to me.”

the both of you whirl around to look at sana. she has her arms folded, foot bent as she leans against the wall. her expression is polite but her gaze is flat, angry. the simultaneous relief and anxiety that swells within you is strong enough to make you unsteady, and you’re grasping at the arm of the couch.

mina, fortunately, is ignorant to this.

“what did you say?”

“i said if you’re asking about whether i give your cousin any money, your best bet is to come directly to me instead of interrogating her.”

“you’ve got a lot of nerve to say that shit to me when this was happening behind my back.”

sana just shrugs. “i just don’t appreciate what you’re implying.”

“and what exactly am i implying?”

“that i have shady intentions towards y/n, which i don’t.”

your heart in chest thuds, staring down at your trembling fingers, clenching them over your lap. mina’s eyes flicker towards sana’s richard mille. “that’s a nice watch. you make money?”

“mina.” you hiss.

“i make a comfortable living.”

mina scoffs and rolls her eyes, muttering something under her breath. “rich people bullshit,” you can faintly hear her say. sana doesn’t reply, face remaining placid. her and mina have a loaded exchange of looks, before your cousin falters, gaze flickering to you.

“you want dinner?” mina inquires.

you blink. “i’m…why?”

“answer the question.”

“i guess im hungry?”

“wonderful.” mina snaps her stare back to sana, voice hard. “what about you?”

sana’s tone is emotionless. “i could eat something.”

“great,” mina says, zipping up her puffer. “let’s go get some thanksgiving dinner then.”

—

you all pack into mina’s car to drive to some restaurant of her choosing, the silence tense enough to cut. when she parks alongside the street, she orders you out of the car, telling to secure a table.

stumbling out, your characteristic grace rendered to nothing due to your anxiety. you step inside the small, hole-in-the-wall pizza restaurant, and ask the hose for a three person table booth. seeing that sana and your cousin aren’t behind you, you allow the host to lead to the table that’s in a corner to the far end of the entrance. after three excruciating minutes, you see the pair walk inside. sana’s expression is blank, and mina’s is unreadable. this does absolutely nothing to calm your nerves.

they sit down, mina across from you and sana at your side. she places her warm hand over your trembling knee, thumb stroking your skin to calm you, grasping it, intertwining fingers. sana squeezes back for comfort.

“so,” you begin shakily. “um—”

“you lied to me,” mina interrupts firmly, eyes hard, reducing you to a feeble child. it angers you. “why did you lie to me?”

“because i knew you would do this. because i knew you were gonna say something about it to auntie sometime later.”

“about what?”

“my decisions. my life. the way i choose to live my life. it’s why you do shit like this.”

mina narrows her eyes, offended. “care to elaborate more?”

“come here under the guise of checking up on me. interrogate me.”

“i only came because i knew you were lying to me.”

“and i lied because i know how controlling you are just like auntie!”

mina’s expression sours. “i’m not controlling like her.”

“yes, you are.” you snap. “you’re either controlling or completely detached. you either forget to call me for two months because you’re busy or you do random check-ins with me everyday for a week. i’m twenty-two years old and you still treat me like this only because auntie’s health hasn’t been well.”

“i don’t have any other choice.” she says tightly. “i don’t know how much auntie has left with time, but—” mina catches herself off, jaw clenching, and looks away from you. you and sana. “we may not be related by blood, but i still consider you my family. i’m sorry if i came off as cold or unmoving, but you’re all i have left.”

sana shifts beside you. “maybe i should—”

“no, it’s fine.” mina says, and glances back up. brown eyes meet yours, a mirror image. “i was just about to leave anyway.”

“what?” you gasp out.

“you shouldn’t.” sana interjects.

mina waves a dismissive hand. “i’ve said everything i wanted to say. to both of you.”

“don’t go if you’re gonna regret it later, mina,” sana warns. mina barks a laugh, tightening her jacket. “if you wanna be apart of our family, sana, learn the way we operate. y.n and i don’t carry regrets.”

she pointedly glances at you and you respond with shaking your head, mouthing a silent no. without any further ceremony, mina shoulders her handbag, moving to step forward. however, she hesitates and looks back at you, stopping in place.

“if you want me to be convinced you can hold out on your one, then act like it. stop giving so much of a shit about what i have to say. i spout just as much crap as everyone else. it’s up to you if you want to ignore me if you want.”

speechless, your mouth is parted, but mina was already on her way out of the restaurant by the time you can think of any words. when you see the black streak of her car driving way, you sigh, burying your face in your hands.

“i’m such a bitch.”

“don’t talk about yourself like that,” sana says, voice firm but touch soft, stroking down the line of your back. “she told me in the car she was gonna leave.”

“why?”

“same reason she just gave just now. she said everything she wanted to say to both of us.”

“and what did she say to you?”

“a better question is what i did say to her.”

you can’t help with the rush of cold fear that grips you. “what did you say?”

“what i felt about you. what you are to me.”

and it’s not the truth because it can’t be the truth—mina would’ve throttled sana otherwise—but the tenderness in her voice implores you to look up from your hands at her, to believe her. she reaches over to brush your hair out of your face, eyes sweet like liquid candy, mouth curling to smile. you crumble, falling into her.

“i’m sorry. i’m sorry you had to put up with that.”

“it’s fine, sweetheart.”

“no, it’s not. it’s awful and it’s unhealthy and i’m dumping my baggage onto you.”

“i don’t care. i want to know everything about you.” you flush, and sana adds, “also, if you think that’s bad you should meet my family. i’ve grown up with struggles of not being up to par with my relatives and being the laughing stock because of my lack of success. it’s half the reason i’m calling out of thanksgiving tomorrow. that and the fact that i’m working.”

“what?” you gasp, sitting up. “you’re working tomorrow?”

sana toys with a lock of your hair. “people get injured everyday unfortunately.”

“we should do something.”

“you don’t want to eat here?”

“i get one dollar pizza with irene at least once a week. we should do something special.”

a grin cracks sana’s face in half, radiant. “what if i made us dinner?”

“you can cook?”

“of course i can. i even have a special bacon mac and cheese recipe.”

“but i don’t have bacon.”

“we can take the subway to the grocery store and then take it back to your house when i can cook. c’mon, it’ll be fun.”

you bite your lip to suppress a smile. sana kisses it free. when she pulls back, you lean into her palm, lashes fluttering against the skin of it.

“okay, you lead the way then.”

—

grocery shopping with sana is efficient.

she doesn’t linger in aisles to windowshop. sana simply grabs what she wants and goes, one hand gripping a pack of bacon and a box of mac and cheese, the other hand clasped with your own. they’re in and out within five minutes.

the subway ride is almost as quick but fun, which is a strange thing to have on the g-train but it’s true. sana crowds you against the pole, shielding you from the other passengers as she whispers her judgment of them in your ears, speculating that the married couple standing across from them is miserable, will always be miserable, because they can’t ever feel what you and sana do.

the game is mean-spirited, you know, but sana’s ridiculousness makes you laugh. makes your stomach bubbly and your body light, fizzy like you’re made of crisp champagne. as sana kisses the curve of your ear, you think that you quite like the idea of being in on an inside joke with her.

you’re stumbling into the apartment within the hour, teeth chattering from the cold. sana removes your coat and scarf, hanging them on your rack before taking the grocery bag and hurrying into the kitchen. she looks excited, her lips spread wide in a near-permanent grin. you settle onto one of the high chairs, watching sana waltz around your kitchen like it’s familiar to her. it must be at this point.

“so. bacon mac and cheese.”

“a family recipe,” sana says, pulling a pot from the bottom cabinet. “my grandma used to make it for my mom when she was a kid. growing up pretty poor so she says this was basically a delicacy to her.”

“i can relate. when i was little, my favorite thing to eat was those cup ramen noodles that mina and auntie used to throw bits of beef and chicken in.”

“cup ramen is always good.”

sana fills the pot with water, placing it over the stove top and setting the heat on high. she then walks to your fridge to pull out a bottle of prosecco. “this is fancy.”

“hardly,” you snort. “i got it for fifteen bucks.”

“all wine target the same whether it’s five or fifty dollars. take it from someone who drinks the fancy shit at parties,” sana says, popping the cork off. she grabs two glasses and files them halfway before passing one to you.

sana raises it. “cheers.”

“happy thanksgiving.”

so you and sana drink. relishing in the sweet, crisp burn of the prosecco as it goes down, the alcohol warming you instantly. sana’s eyes on you are equally warm and dangerously fond. you take another sip to swallow down the mutinous rise of hope.

soon enough, the water starts boiling and sana pours the macaroni in, stirring it. you like it. you like the look of sana in your kitchen, her ease. the domesticity implied. you basically want to sink into it.

you get off your chair to slowly approach sana from behind, sliding your arms around her middle and leaning your cheek against the curve of her shoulder. sana leans into you, and you rise up to your toes, pressing lips to her cheek, kissing sana softly. when she sighs, head tilting down, you kiss sana again. again and again. wanting a tattoo of your affection to be left behind.

dropping back to your heels, and sana’s gaze finds yours, soft as silk. she curls her hand into your hair and brings you close, mouth against your forehead, nose in your hairline, breathing in.

“go sit down,” sana murmurs. “finish your drink.”

you step away from sana, chest hollow like you’re leaving something behind.

—

sana feeds you bites of mac and cheese that tastes a bit burnt.

“a capricorn mars?” sana asks, lips around the same fork. she dips it back into the bowl to fish for more macaroni. “what the fuck is that?!”

“okay so, everyone has planet placements—asteroids too but that’s more specific—and each of the planets has a specific meaning. i already explained that your sun sign—”

“capricorn.”

“capricorn, right—was the core of your personality. your moon sign is your private face, or your emotional center. mercury is communication. venus is romance and aesthetics—which might be an additional for you. and mars is aggression and sexuality.”

“and mine is in capricorn?”

“yeah, and capricorn is the domicile of mars.”

“it means that capricorn and virgo are already ruled by mars. the placement feels natural.”

“ah.” sana’s arms tighten around you, setting you higher up on her lap. “so that means i’m naturally aggressive and sexual?”

“no,” you laugh. “it means that it’s just an easier fit. that there isn’t any friction between the planet and sign. like, capricorns are very expressive in their confidence and humility. grounded with their words and they don’t sugarcoat what they say, they mean it.” you say, tapping sana’s chin, tugging on it with your thumb. “and they do it straightforwardly. mars suits it.”

sana nips at your thumb. “like you aren’t.”

“i’m a gemini,” you say. “a dynamic sign. two sides to show to the world.”

sana grins, and you move your hand up pushing her hair back. “how do you know all this stuff anyway?”

“i had a light…astrology phase in high school.”

“astrology?”

“yeah. my stuff might be off, but that’s to the best of my memory. but i dabbled with oujia birds. summoning, that kind of shit.”

“summoning?”

“i never actually summoned anything,” you mutter, flashing. “none of the spells worked.”

sana laughs, which earns your glare. you shiver when she reaches up and traces the curve of your ear.

“this explains the bit of eye bags to sell the dark look i’m getting out here.”

“pfft,” you stifle a laugh, turning your head off to the side. “the eye bags were from an insomnia phase i had during my first year of college. i didn’t know how to function at times, and my roommate was genuinely concerned when i brought up my terrible last two years of high school. i think i might’ve scared her.”

“really?”

“that’s another story for later, but let’s just say that it wasn’t pretty if you saw me like that.”

“wow,” sana says, impressed with your growth and resilience. “i was totally normal during high school.”

“i see and believe that.”

the only warning before sana flips you over and pins you on the couch is a flash of teeth, a mean smile. you cry, “the macaroni!” but sana already has it safely on the ground, her other hand moving to tickle your ribs. you’re shrieking, jerking in her hold.

“don’t!”

“what?” sana asks, laying over you, fingers sliding up your waist. “you’re ticklish?”

“no.”

“i think you are.”

“i’ll kick you.”

“no, you won’t,” sana says, but traps your thighs between her knees anyway. she lowers her head, mouth warm against your neck. “you’re too sweet.”

“sana—”

she offers you no mercy. with a simple crook of her fingers, she’s tickling you, trapping you against teh couch as you squirm and giggle beneath her. sana’s hands dip past your shirt to find your bare skin, relentless. while you writhe, sana shoves her face into your neck and hums.

“y-you’re–sana, you’re gonna kill me!”

“no, i’m not.”

“i can’t—” you erput into another laughing fit, tears in your eyes. “i can’t breathe!”

“you’re such a baby,” sana says, but slides her hands away to rest them on either side of your head. once you’ve recovered, you wrap your arms around sana’s neck and secure her to you. sana kisses the ridge of your jaw, sinking into you with a deep exhale. as if expelling a weight inside you.

“do you want to watch a movie?” you ask, fingers toying with the ends of her hair.

“sure. something nice.”

“like what? a rom-com?”

“yeah. i like those.”

you laugh. “do you really? i was expecting you to be more of a different answer than that.”

“were you expecting action movies?”

“but you prefer romance?”

“if they’re good.” when you look at sana disbelievingly, defensiveness enters her tone. “what?”

“i don’t know. a lot of people didn’t like them because it set unrealistic standards. or, at least that’s what my ex said.”

“well, your ex was a fucking idiot,” sana says heatedly. “there’s nothing unrealistic about it.”

there’s nothing unrealistic about grand, sweeping gestures and spotanoeulsy confessing your undying love in the middle of an airport?”

sana raises her head from your chest to look at you. “not unless if you’re a coward.”

you snort, a slow start to what would eventually become a full belly laugh. sana’s expression sours with every giggle, but when you throw your head back and knock it against the arm of the couch, sana reaches out to cradle it. while you recover, sana chooses a move, fingers soothing the bump.

—

by the time the credits of the second movie roll, sana rises from her position on your chest to sit up. she rubs her palms over her face, yawning.

“i have to go,” sana says with some regret, her eyes half-lidded. “i have work in the morning.”

you want to protest but feel ridiculously for it, childishly selfish. instead, you give sana a tight smile and follow her to the door, grabbing her coat from the rack to help her in it. you then take her scarf, pretty purple and wooly in your hands, holding out to her. sana smiles and drapes it over her neck. the open door behind her lets in an icy chill, and she binds you against her, broad palms cupping your face.

you love sana’s eyes. it strikes you suddenly as she tugs you closer, dazzling brown swallowing your vision. you wish the whole world could be that color. it could be that beautiful.

“i’ll call you tomorrow,” sana says.

your voice is soft, too small in your throat. “okay.”

sana smiles and ducks down to kiss you, lips warm and sweet and awfully chaste. you surge closer to meet her, trying to deepen it, but she doesn’t let you. she simply pecks the swell of your bottom lip again and leans back to look at you. the overwhelming affection on her face sends a bolt through you, sends a shiver up your spine that she mistakes for chill. concern flares in her eyes as she takes the scarf from her neck.

“are you cold?” sana asks, already pulling it off, settling it over your shoulders. “is it because the door is open?”

“i—” you can’t speak over the wool that covers your mouth. sana sloppily wraps it around you, her own body heat bleeding into you, nestling sweetly like hot chocolate beneath your skin. after she’s thrown the tail over your head, she tucks the scarf under your chin and asks, “is that better?”

“yes,” you manage to croak out.

sana smiles again and kisses you for the last time. when she steps back, the distance hurts. “i’ll see you later.”

“see you soon,” you whisper out to her, hand lingering out. the last thing you see before sana locks the door behind her is her smile.

it almost hurts not to follow.

—

“y/n!”

you pause, just steps outside of the auditorium. turning to see doyoung, your thesis editor and a TA for the psychology and ethics class. you smile as he approaches you, adjusting your coat against the chill. “hi.”

“hey,” doyoung says, grinning. “you just watched the lecture, right?”

“yeah. it was great. i didn’t know you were gonna attend.”

“i didn’t know you would attend either,” he says. “if i did, i would’ve asked if you wanted to sit together.”

smiling, close-mouthed, unsure of how to respond to that. doyoung barrels on before you can settle on anything. “do you want to meet her?”

“who? the lecturer?”

“mrs. cho, yeah.”

suspended in time for a second, you blink. “you know her?”

“yeah! i was one of her research assistants about a year and a half ago. she’s great. do you wanna meet her?”

“uh—sure, i would love to,” you say, a bit mystified, trailing after him when he starts to walk back into the auditorium.

doyoung leads you towards the stage where a woman who appeared to be around your height stands, chatting amiably with one of your professors. when doyoung calls her name, she looks over to you, sending a broad grin.

“kim doyoung?” she asks. is that you?”

“yes, ma’am,” he says, climbing onto the stage, reaching back to help you up. “it’s really nice to see you again.”

“it’s great to see you! how are things?”

“great!”

“and you’re almost done right? got not long now before you’ll be on the way out into the real world.”

“yeah, i’ve got most of the things done before applying for graduation. i even do some editing for other students on the side. speaking of.” doyoung reaches back, setting his hand on your back to gesture you forward. “this is one of the students i edit for.”

mrs. cho shifts her attention towards you. noticing how remarkably pretty she was up close compared to sitting a few rows back. she has bright red hair that was noticeable from far, fair skin with rosy cheeks that encapsulate a bubbly personality when she spoke to the class. for some reason her laugh and mannerisms were similar to a familiar person. you couldn’t put your thumb to it, but the fact that her occupation was also in the medical field should’ve sent the alarms ringing.

“and who this might be?” she asks.

“y/n l/n. she’s a bachelors student in the pipeline for the masters program.”

“y/n–” her eyes shot up. you’re startled by the intense reaction of you, the way her jaw drops like the two biggest dots were just connected. “y/n l/n? are you actually y/n l/n?”

“uh.” you’re glancing at doyoung who seems confused as you were. “y-yes, that’s me.”

mrs. cho covers her mouth with both of her hands, hiding her smile. “my goodness that’s amazing! do you know sana?”

“sana?” your heart swells, stomach sinking as the realization slaps across you ten-fold. how could’ve you been so blind? one of sana’s closest friends, miyeon. miyeon. sana’s shown the pictures of her on that one hangout they had when they were in medschool, dressing up like boys with dad hats backwards and nerdy glasses that looked surprisingly cute and wished sana looked like that for you.

“no way.” you breathe out.

“oh my god!” miyeon echoes. “this is crazy!”

“who is sana?” doyoung asks, reminding you abruptly of his presence.

“my best friend,” miyeon eagerly replies, gaze unwaveringly on her face. “this is incredible.”

“you know me? or at least about me?” you ask, reeling. “sana…she’s told you about me?”

“of course she has! she talks about you all the time. she even mentioned that you were a psychology student, but i didn’t know that you studied at this university.”

your lips quick. “what a small world.”

“it definitely is. so tell me more about your degree. sana said that it had something to do with kids?”

“well, yeah. i’m studying child’s psychology with a cognitive-behavioral focus. doyoung’s helping me with my thesis right now actually.”

well, you might’ve just embarrassed yourself. doyoung already mentioned that to her.

“interesting, but cognitive-behavioral?” miyeon playfully raises her brows. “what are you doing attending the lecture of an exponential researcher?”

“i find it to broaden my avenues, besides being well-rounded.”

miyeon laughs, delighted. “that it does, my dear. sana said that you were bright in studies.”

your cheeks flush, the natural instinct to ask for what else, what else has she said, forming. that is, until doyoung says, “sorry. i’m a little lost. how do you know sana, y/n?”

speechless for a moment, you’re transported back to the soft golden lights and the shine of her oxford shoes, the taste of lemon drop martinis on your tongue. the four seasons and five hundred dollars in your purse, completely unexplainable much like sana is, because there are no words to describe her.

there are, however, words to describe you.

“y/n,” miyeon says, leaning forward to take your chin on her fingers, startling you. “is the greatest gift sana ever had the pleasure of finding.”

and all at once your excitement dashes into nothing, letting dread sink into you, curling around your body like a vice, tigeting around your neck. suddenly, miyeon’s enthusiasm takes a different meaning, another shape. it’s not friendly but sordid. not curious but propositional. maybe, it might’ve been, if sana ever offered to share.

it’s the thought that makes your heart crack open. just a few days ago, she was in your house, laying over you, kissing you with enough affection that you could drown in it. you thought—you’re not even entirely sure why anymore but you thought—it was real. it could’ve been real. the hope was there.

“wow,” doyoung says, laughing awkwardly, but the sound barely registers over the roaring din in your ear canals. “i didn’t know you had a girlfriend.”

she’s not my fucking girlfriend, you’re saying to yourself visioulxy, spiterully. with sorrow. sana’s not your fucking girlfirned and she never was. you were just her gift. a thing to fuck around with.

“i’m sorry,” you say, blinking fast, speaking through the lump in your throat. “i really have to go.”

“oh.” miyeon looks genuinely disappointed, but you can’t be sure. perhaps it’s because she was hoping you’d offer a more nicer regard than what just transpired now. you wonder about the stories sana’s told, if she’s shown miyeon your pictures. “well, it was nice meeting you. i hope we’ll see each other again.”

you nod once, a jerky motion, and a spin of the heel to race out of the auditorium. by the time you reach to the chill outdoors, you’re crying, hot tears streaming down your face, heartbreak nearly forcing you to the knees.

wiping them away roughly, shame makes you red-faced. once you tended to the other cheek, fingers tugging the scarf around your neck, it feels like a collar to a degree–and you’re choking on another sob.

a terrible tragedy it seems, to be owned.

—

avoiding contact, you’re fielding sana’s calls for the next week or so.

you can’t claim that you don’t mean to because you do. every text asking is everything okay? something wrong? gets a yes, of course. every text asking are you okay, are you mad at me? gets a no. no, of course not. why would i be?

how amusing that you have a chock-full of little excuse, but the end result still stands: you don’t want to talk to sana.

this also means that you're miserable.

the tried-and-true method of compartmentalizing your feelings ceases to work when your sorrow over sana bleeds into everything. you can’t focus enough to do your assignments, be mindful enough to smile at work, to write when doyoung says that you should. to eat, even, because it’s hard to stomach anything when you’re angry at her and it’s hard to exist and not speak to her. over the course of three months, sana’s embedded herself into every facet of your life. function without her now is like forgetting how to breathe.

you could say that you’re taking the misery right on the chin, pushing through it like the grown woman you’ve claimed to be, at least proficient enough to hid from everyone else not involved. tzuyu notices this, she notices everything, and she makes it her mission to know about everything.

which is why you’re not surprised when she randomly bursts into your room on a saturday night, phone still buzzing from when she tried to call you.

“get up!” tzuyu snaps, marching over to yank your covers off; you’re curling over the pillow. “come on, get up! you’ve been ignoring my calls for, like, a week and i’m sick and tired of your wallowing.”

voice muffled into the sheets. “‘m not wallowing.”

“yes, you are,” she says and throws open your blinds, exposing the stained brickwall on the other side. “irene told me you didn’t go to class with her this week, which i know means that you were holed up in here crying or something. which, i might add, you never informed me of, so not only are you sad but you’re keeping secrets from me. bad friend behavior, y/n.”

“it’s not bad friend behavior. i just didn’t feel like talking about it.”

“well if you’re not gonna talk about it, you’re gonna do something else.” you hear your closet doors open and perch your head up to see tzuyu rifling through your clothes. after a moment, she makes some pleased sound and toesses a white dress onto your boed, one that sana had bought you a few weeks ago. the memory is blanched just by looking.

“we’re going out tonight,” tzuyu announces. “i have shuhua waiting in the car and i made plans to meet up with irene and a few friends of mine at a club in manhattan. i’m not leaving till you get dressed.”

“i’m not going.”

“yes, you are.”

“no.”

“you are.”

“tzuyu,” you say, with a note of pleading. “i really don’t want to go.”

“and i don’t care! you’re going.”

“no,” you repeat firmly, drawing your knees up to cocoon yourself. “i don’t want to go. i don’t want to drink or go to manhattan—”

“does sana live in manhattan?

“i don’t want to talk about sana.”

“well, it seems like you don’t wanna do fucking anything!” tzuyu throws her hands up, lovely face twisted up with exasperation. she nudges the dress closer. “and like i said, i really don’t care. if you’re not gonna talk about your feelings then do something equally as unproductive and distract yourself from them instead of crying. you’re being ridiculous.”

“no, you are,” you retort acidically, and it seems as though your outrage needed an outlet, because you can’t stop yourself from spitting the vitriol that spills forth. “and you know what? you are ridiculous. in general, you are fucking ridiculous. you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth and you act like it. me signing up for that stupid app was your idea. me meeting sana was because of you. and sana—” calling me her gift, reducing me to something that’s owned, tainting the concept of belonging— “i-it’s your fault. everything is your fault. it’s your fucking fault!”

tzuyu’s face is unchanged, perfect and placid as it always is. finally, while you heave, restraining another fit of tears, tzuyu exhales deeply and tilts her head, expression softening. “are you good now?”

“no,” you mumble. “i’m angry.”

“good.” tzuyu sits down on the edge of your bed and tugs you close, resting your head on her shoulder. “be angry with me. just don’t hole yourself up in your room alone. you’ve done enough of that.”

you sag into tzuyu. “i’m sorry for yelling at you. what happened isn’t your fault.”

“it kind of is.”

“no, it isn't. maybe giving the idea was, but everything i did was because it was a choice i mad. even being hurt now is my fault. i always knew what i was to her.”

“so? it’s kind of difficult to have sex with anything for three months and not get attached to it. i get weepy when i have to throw away my vibrators.”

you snort, pushing tzuyu away. met with a smile of hers with your own, “are you ready to go out now or do i actually have to respect your wishes this time.”

debating, eyes flicking to the dress by your foot. you know how it looks on you, how the fabric shimmers under a certain light and the fit clings to your body. you know it’s effect on sana, even, how her eyes darkend when she first saw it on you, how she raced to get it off. the faded memory stings as the thought of sana always does now, like a sharpened blade, but tzuyu is right. it isn’t healthy to sustain this level of feeling for days on end. maybe it needs a change of pace.

“fine,” you say, looking at tzuyu. “help me get ready.”

tzuyu squeals before grabbing your face to let her kiss your cheek.

—

you and tzuyu greet shuhua by the car just half an hour later, who rolls down the window to wolf-whistle you as they approach. tzuyu opens her coat and grabs you by the hand to spin you around.

“you look hot!” shuhua says. “i’ll be surprised if you don’t go home with somebody tonight.”

cheeks flushing after the compliment. “oh, uh, i’m not really—”

“honey, don’t scandalize y/n so early in the evening,” tzuyu says, popping a kiss to her mouth as she gets in the car. “you know y/n doesn’t talk about ex–say in polite company.”

“since when am i polite company?”

“hi, shua,” you mumble, sliding into the backseat.

“hey, babe. are you excited?” shuhua turs around. both her and tzuyu stare at you expectantly from the front seats, making you feel strangely like a child on their first day of school.

“...yes…”

tzuyu sends shuhua a firm look. “start the car.”

it’s saturday night, the drive from queens to manhattan takes about forty minutes. you’re spending the majority of the ride staring out the window, willing yourself not to think of the familiar surroundings, of the shops along the street that have developed new meaning. luckily, before you can get lost in your budding melancholy, shuhua parks the car along the side of the street and unlocks the door. with a sigh, you step out.

there’s a long line leading into the club that tzuyu bypasses with ease, simply flashing her ID at the bouncer before he allows you three inside. the club is ritzy but stereotypical. brith, multicolored flashing lights threaten to blind you and the pumping music that makes your ears ring. hand in hand, tzuyu directs through the throng of gyrating bodies to a VIP lounge near the back, where you can see a round table filled with people.

irene notices you first, and she jumps out of her seat to rush toward you, bee-lining for you specifically, enveloping a hug that you gratefully sink into.

“you look so pretty!” irene yells when she steps back. “i was worried you wouldn’t come!”

“i did!”

“thank god! come say hi to everybody!”

following her to the table. irene slides back into the booth to nestle beneath the arm of a handsome black-haired man that you recognize immediately, much to your delight. “seulgi!”

she cracks a smile. “sup.”

“i didn’t know you’d be here.” or really, that their relationship had progressed so well. perhaps you might have if you kept in touch more proactively, which suddenly makes you feel like a very shitty friend.

“how are you?” you ask, sitting down next to the pair.

“i’m good. you?”

“i’m…well.”

“uh-oh.” seulgi pushes a drink towards you. “be grateful i can’t cut you off tonight then.”

not thinking of a reply, uncomfortable at having been perceived so clearly, you raise the straw to your lips.

“hey tzuyu! we’re here!”

the three of you look over to see three people ambling towards you, a shorter woman in front, two slightly taller behind her. up close, you can see that she has dark, long hair. she’s wearing a black leather jacket with a handbag to her side. when she catches your eye, she smiles.

tzuyu leaps up from her seat to hug the woman, extricating herself quickly to hug the other two women tagging behind. her voice is a squeal when she screams, “dahyun!”

gesturing to them to sit down next to her, and as they all scoot into the booth, dahyun’s attention flickers towards you, down to your dress.

“y/n! y/n, this is my friend dahyun! she has a brother that works on the same racing team as him!”

“hey.” dahyun says, leaning forward, extending her hand, and you shake it. when you pull away, she wraps her arm around the brunette beside her.

“this is minju,” dahyun says, and points to the blonde at the end of the booth. “and that’s somi.”

“it’s nice to meet you all,” you say.

“it’s great to meet you. you’re y/n, right?”

“yeah.”

“cool!” dahyun’s mouth curls, more a smirk than a smile. “tzuyu has told me all about you.”

“has she?”

“yep. she thinks you’ve hung the fucking moon or something. is it true you volunteered at a women’s shelter for fun?”

you blush at the question. “i wouldn’t say for fun. i just…got along with the kids there really well.”

“a saint is what you are, according to tzuyu.”

“oh, i wouldn’t—”

dahyun surprises you when she stands up and slides over chaeyoung and somi to sit next to you, smelling the rich perfume she put on. your fingers bunch up the dress when she throws her arm over the back of your seat.

“so,” dahyuns starts again, sinking into the vinyl seat, too comfortable. “what else do you do aside from rescuing cats from trees?”

“i’m not a firefighter. never done anything like that.”

“it was a joke, lovely.” your flush depends, and dahyun adds, “but i’m serious. what do you do?”

“i’m a waitress currently, but i’m working towards my bachelors in child’s psychology. masters after, but i’m sure you knew that already.”

“yep.”

“and you?” you ask, taking a sip of your drink, beer bottle sweating around your fingers. “tzuyu mentioned you work with your mom?”

“yeah, just a normal front-desk job. pretty nice until all of the calls get backed up.”

“yikes. sorry to hear that.”

dahyun’s mouth quirks, and you swallow a squeak when she reaches over to ruffle your hair, startled by her familiarity. she keeps her hand there.

“you’re sweet, you know that?”

your face is burning red hot, stomach churning. you can’t think of anything to say but get off. “um—”

“but fuck the job conversation,” dahyun says, leaning closer to you, eyes flashing with mischief. “you wanna get fucked up?”

—

to your better judgement—along with the credit, this is something that you don’t really do on a weekend basis—getting fucked up.

it takes a few beers and sojus to get loose enough to smile freely. you’ve lost the count from five shots onwards to keep you laughing, swimmy. dahyun leads you to the bar to take more shots together—your idea—that’s immediately chased down with lime juice, shoved into your mouth by dahyun’s fingers. the burst of citrus in your mouth.

there’s no food to sober up with, so you decide to get that stored energy on the dance floor, sweating profusely. you switch between the different groups—first spinning around in a mid circle with shuhua and tzuyu, then joining irene and seulgi as they move together. you’re being dragged in between, irene laughing against your neck, head being thrown back into seulgi’s shoulder, the light’s over-bright above you, a shimmering multicolor. you’re laughing, and laughing, and laughing, even when a flash of green against the ceiling makes you want to cry.

it’s so easy to stop thinking.

which is exactly the case when dahyun finds her way onto the dance floor, swaggering. selugi spins you towards her embrace and she catches you, hands securing the waist, fingers sliding down to your hips. her voice rumbles from her chest and into your ears when she speaks, mouth skimming the curve orf it. “you know, tzuyu really wanted me to meet you.”

you wrap your arms around her neck. “she did?”

“yeah, she did. said you needed to meet someone new.”

“oh. i didn’t know.” dahyun leads you into a dance, slipping their knee between your legs. something cold curdles up in the pit of your stomach, but the warmth of the alcohol makes it easy to ignore. have fun, you remind yourself.

“yeah, thank god she did,” dahyun says.

the music, booming club/house hit, robs most of your hearing, but when you sway your hips and she follows the motion of it, moving with you, you can hear the dark rumble of her groan, can feel it when dahyun says, “fuck, you’re so hot. you wanna get out of here?”

that cold pit in the base of your stomach explodes, icy panic flooding your insides. dahyun’s eyes widen with shock as you push her away from you, and when she tries to tug you close again, you bat her away, snapping, “no.”

you stumble to the end of the club, shoving on your coat as you rush out into the cold weather. you tremble more from the alarm than the chill when you pull out your phone and scroll through the contact list.

sana answers before the end of the first ring. “y/n?”

“i’m coming to your house,” you announce, waving widely as you try to flag down a taxi.

“is something wrong? your voice sounds weird. do you want me to pick you up?”

“i’m coming,” you repeat. “to your house. so tell your doorman to let me in.”

“baby, are you sure you don’t want me to pick you up?”

the pet name stings. as does your persistent loyalty to her. wouldn’t have been so freeing to make her hurt? “no.”

“y/n—”

“i’ll see you now.”

you hang up just as a taxi stops beside you. opening the door and climbing into the car, slurring out sana’s address. given that her apartment complex is close, the drive takes under fifteen minutes. you had to swipe your card at least three separate times for the payment to go through. you nearly trip when stepping out, knees shaking and coltish, but right yourself quickly to march into the building. the red-headed doorman gives you a sour look that you meet with a scowl. thankfully, though, he lets you in without a word.

the journey to sana’s apartment is a blur. recognizing the soft elevator music and the ding as it opens. your heels click against the marble floors when you stumble down the hall, hands aligning against the wall to keep your balance. when you find sana’s door, you knock on it hard, speaking into the peephole. “it’s y/n. let me in!”

door swung open instantly; sana must’ve been waiting for you. heart throbbing when you see her, brown hair around her shoulder, barefoot and not-entirely relaxed, but she herds you in before you can get emotional, following you to the living room.

“are you okay?” sana asks.

“no.” you throw your purse down and wrestle to get your coat off. sana steps forward to help you but you shake your head, scoffing at her injured look.

“you’re drunk,” sana observes with disapproval., “why are you drunk?”

“i went out with tzuyu.”

“are you okay?” sana asks again.

“no. i’m drunk.”

sana’s expression shifts, wavering between panic and concern. you wonder what she has to be worried about, if she carries the past week with her the way that you did. but of course not, you think bitterly. why would she care at all?

“do you need water?”

you don’t reply, still struggling to take your coat off, suddenly overheated. sana watches you, making a frustrated sound deep in her throat. she runs her hand through her hair. “i don’t know what you wnat me to do then, baby.”

“i want you to stop calling me baby.”

“what?”

you whirl around. “i want you to stop with the pet names. i want you to stop with the gifts. i want you to stop sending me money. i-i want you to stop—talking to me like you care about me. it’s cruel, sana.”

“y/n, what are you talking about? of course i fucking care about you.” sana’s eyes widening. “did you take any drugs?”

“no!” you yell. “and no, i didn’t take any drugs!”

“then what the fuck is your problem?”

“my problem,” you spit, narrowing your eyes, speaking through your teeth. “is that i don’t want to be your damn sugar baby anymore!”

“what?!”

“yeah! your sugar baby, sana. does it make you feel bad when i say it? because it makes me fel fucking worse.” your voice cracking, shaking your head. “and i take it anymore.”

sana grasps the side of her hair. “take what? take what anymore? what the fuck are you talking about?”

“this!” you gesture between you and sana. “i can’t— i can’t keep pretending that i’m okay with this. that you can go to my house, fuck me, and then venmo me some money after like it’s okay. like i’m your—at first i thought it would be fine. it hurt me, made me feel sick, but i thought….i guess i thought that things would change but they haven’t. they haven’t and it really fucking hurts.”

“y/n, sweetheart, my love—” you flinch—”i’m really gonna need you to start making sense before i lose my fucking mind.”

“what doesn’t make any sense to you? my feelings? did you really expect that you could get to fuck me fore three months and i wound’t feel anything? am i that much of a fucking doll to you?”

“wha—?”

“you know, tonight i met this girl that was really into me,” you say, and giddily watch sana freeze. “tzuyu introduced me to her. she thought we’d be good together. she wanted me.”

sana’s face goes flat, hands stalling in the air between them. your pulse skips at the sudden coldness that grips her, the way her eyes darken, like the brief seconds of peace that precede the explosion of a volcano.

“what?” she asks quietly. “what did you say?”

“but i didn’t want her!” you cry. a jolt of panic runs through you, as fierce as your heartbreak. “i didn’t! she said she wanted to sleep with me and i said no! because of you, sana! because i like you! i really, really, really like you and i have feelings for you, and—”

“are you saying you could have cheated on me!” sana yells. “did you just admit to my fucking face expect me to thank you?!”

“cheat on what? you’re not my girlfriend, you’re my sugar mommy! thats’ what this whole argument is about!”

“i’m not your damn sugar mommy! i told you from day-fucking-one that i hated that shit! i think it’s disgusting! i told you that! if it were up to me, park jihyo would be dead in the fucking ground!”

“oh.” stumbling back. the shock crashing over in waves, realization threatening to wash over you. “i–oh, fuck. god.”

because sana was right. she did tell you that, just twenty minutes into the first meeting. her giving money to you after the first date misled you, given the impression that this was something sordid, but sana never acted that way. not once. she only ever treated you like…

you cradle your face when sana paces in front of you, muscles tense with rage. her fists shake by her sides, knuckles white, and you have the sudden urge to throw yourself down at her feet and kiss them, to beg for her forgiveness.

“i’m sorry. sana, i’m so sorry.” you gaps. “i didn’t—i misinterpreted everything, and i—”

sana stops in place to look at you, blazing eyes rooting you to the ground. your breath twists in your lungs as the words melt on your tongue, leaving you with nothing. because you have nothing. there’s nothing to say.

and sana takes you in, the trembling and tears, you being desperate for forgiveness. she runs a hand over your face, sighing heavily. “you’re way too drunk to be having this conversation.”

“i’m not.” you’re not lying. if you were a tad bit less sober, the doubt would be hurting just as much.

“yes, you are.”

“sana, i won’t be able to sleep unless we talk this through.”

“i don’t give a shit. you’re going to bed.”

you whimper as she marches past you, stumbling after her to follow. she stops when you reach the bedroom and open the door for you to head inside. you do, slowly, like you expect to face some form of punishment or further scolding, but sana only walks to her drawers and fishes for a t-shirt, holding it out to you.

as you take it, she leaves the room, giving you privacy to change. you sniffle quietly as you shove your dress down and off around your feet, and slip the shirt on. just as you bend to take off your shoe, sana comes back into the room, carrying a glass of water. she watches you struggle for a beta before sighing and placing the glass down on her nightstand. you nearly weep when you watch sana kneeled down in front of you, her hands going to your ankles. “sana, i—”

“not now,” she says, looking up at you, eyes still hard and angry, but her fingers gentle, thumb tapping your bone, “we can talk about it tomorrow.”

when sana’s done, she steps back, lining upr your heels against the wall.

“get in bed,” sana orders

“sana, i-i can sleep on the couch,” you say weakly. “i really don’t need to take your bed. i’ve had enough trouble already. ‘

“i don’t care. get in.”

“really, it’s—”

“get. in.”

her tone leaves no room for debate, and you clamber up to slip beneath the covers. you stare up at sana, hoping she’ll offer to climb in next to you, but she pushes the water towards you, instead.

“drink.”

“i’m not thirsty.”

“it’s not for your thirst. it’s so you have enough wits about you in the morning. and, also, for right now. i’m not exactly trusting your judgment.”

sana drops three ibuprofen tablet into your palm. while she watches, you dutifully swallow each one, gilt hollowing out your stomach. you open your mouth to speak, but she nudges the glass up, silently demand you drink. she doesnt’ stop until you’ve downed the whole thing. once it’s empty, sana nods with satisfaction and steps back.

“we’ll talk in the morning. for now, please go to sleep.”

“sana.”

“go to sleep,” she repeats, an edge to her voice. “if i hear anything else, i—” she stops herself. roughly shakes her head. “i can’t guarantee what i’ll do next.”

you flinch when the door slams shut behind her, throwing yourself down onto sana’s pillow. a sob builds in your throat when her scent hits you in full force, and you inhale it greedily, chest stuttering as you curly around it, clinging to it like it can morph into her skin.

and sleep is also unkind. it’s only gracious enough to give you any reprieve when the sun peeks over the horizon. you fall into it fruitfully.

—

you’re awoken to a soft touch, a hand gently shaking your shoulder. “y/n. y/n, get up.”

sana’s voice registers, at first distant and tinny, then overwhelming, a sharp spiek into your barin. you jolt up, nearly headbutting her as you scramble to face her. sana moves to sit on a chair she’s pulled up the side of her bed. she looks at you calmly, her hands folded over her knees, foot bouncing, because she can never be fully at ease. her body doesn’t let her.

“good morning.”

everything that you’ve been feeling the night before suddenly rises to the surface again in an overwhelming rush. you can’t even think to compose yourself. your head and heart aches too much to try.

“i’m sorry!” i cry. “i’m sorry, i’m so sorry. i didn’t— i honestly thought—i don’t know why—no, i do know why but—i didn’t think i was cheating on you. i thought you were my s-sugar mommy and i thought our relationship was transactional. it’s why i was so nervous when you met mina because i thought she’d find out. i had no idea—”

you huff, words croaking out into a sob, and sana moves her chair to the edge of her bed to cup your face. you lean into it, tears smearing against her skin.

“i’m not going to say that i’m not angry, because i am. or that i’m not confused, because i really am. but i think i’m starting to understand where the confusion is.”

“i’m sorry.”

“is it because i gave you money?” sana asks, ignoring it.

you nod. “yes.”

“even after i told you that i thought that shit was gross?”

“it wasn’t then,” you say. “i didn’t go out with you with dual inteitinons. i thought it was a date.”

“which it was.”

“i realize that now.”

“so, it was after? when i sent you—”

“a thousand dollars, sana,” you breathe—still, even now, in disbelief. “which, you have to admit, is a little ridiculous to send someone you met when they were first trying out to be someone’s sugar baby.”

“that’s why i sent it. i knew you needed it. i though you’d understand.”

“i didn’t. and even if i did, can’t you admit that’s strange? or at the very least, kind of offensive?”

“no.” sana slides her hand down, thumb tapping your chin like she did when she first kissed you. “id’ be strange if it was for anyone but you.”

a rosy flush stains your cheeks, spreading high. “i don’t know what that means.”

“i think you do.” she slips her hand away and leans back. her face hardens when she says, “no about that girl—”

“we never kissed!” you say desperately. “we never kissed. she never touched me, not really. we just danced. i only said that because i wanted to provoke you.”

“you nearly did. i swear to god, y/n. i wanted to do something about that.”

you grab sana’s hand and lift it between you two. “i’m sorry. i was being spiteful.”

“it’s fine. i’m not angry with you.”

“you’re not?”

“no. but if kim dahyun—”

“how do you know her name?”

“she texted you. i blocked her number—ever ends up horribly injdured and is brought to me as a patient, i’m passing the cart to the next surgeon.”

“you’re not funny.”

“who said i was joking?”

“sana.”

before you can scold her, sana wraps an arm around you and secrues you to her, heart pouding a slow righym against your ear. you feel her chin drop onto your crown, her hand sliding up your back.

“i love you, y/n,” sana says. her hold tightens when you freeze, but she continues, undeterred. “i love you and it only took me about a week to realize it.”

tears crowd your eyes in earnest. sana’s name comes out as a gasp, but she pulls you back to cup your face, thumbs stroking your cheeks. “i love you. this has never been transactional for me. not once.”

“i—”

“you got something to say to that?”

“sana.” she stops to watch you, eyes going soft as you start to weep. she presses her lips to your forehead, then shifts so that your face falls into her neck. you cling to sana, mouth moving against the skin of her. “...’ove you.”

“what?”

“i said i love you.”

“i know. i just wanted to hear you say it again.”

sana laughs when you pinch her side, and you two settle into a comfortable silence s you sid and hold each other, sinking into bliss. that is until sana says, “does this mean you’re cool with getting married? you know, eventually?”

“what?”

“i told you i wanted to marry you and you said you loved me. that wasn’t a no.”

“you didn’t propose.”

“i thought i was implied.”

“an implication is not a proposal, sana. that’s been our whole issue.” you say as sana frowns. “and i don’t wanna think about getting married until sometime later.”

“so what do you want to do in the meantime, wander around like two hopeless romantics that we are?”

“well—” you rise up to your knees, words purposefully slow as you push sana to the bed and climb over her. her hands find your waist, sliding up. you kiss the grin from her lips.

“just stay close to me. that’s all i ask.”

#hyunie #twice imagines #twice x reader #kpop x reader #sana x reader #twice sana #sana #minatozaki sana #minatozaki sana x reader #sana imagines #twice fluff #twice angst #sana angst #sana fluff #twice x you

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sugar-petals · 6 months

Text

⌈ pile I - QUEEN OF CUPS „i adore you so much“

⌈ pile II - ACE OF CUPS „i’m your lover in plain sight“

⌈ pile III - JUSTICE „i’m the one you deserve“

🔓 select the tarot card that you noticed first.

⌈ NOTE 🌹 ➝ welcome to this extended nsfw reading. at the bottom of the deck i found the 5 OF WANDS (see below cut) so the overall theme is: teasing 😏 let’s find out what it means for you individually in your piles. what steamy thoughts are running circles in your person’s mind? tell me what you got and enjoy 🐝

[ deck used | the wonderful golden art noveau tarot by Giulia Massaglia — gilded example cards below, not the actual piles ]

{ 𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚝/𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘 𝚖.𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 }

the FIVE OF WANDS - today’s overall energy is playfighting.

message. they want to give you a sexual challenge rather than indulging in a soft and hesitant mood: tease them right back and they’ll appreciate it. it’s all in good spirits as long as both play along. boldness is appreciated and keeps the chemistry running.

no need to fear conflict, this is all friendly banter without the intent of hurting. behind all of that is the idea of testing limits + experimenting sexually through fun and activity rather than keeping it a guessing game what the other person might like.

pile i - QUEEN OF CUPS „i adore you so much“

⌈ QUEEN OF WANDS - THE EMPEROR - PAGE OF COINS - 3 OF CUPS

Oh hot damn… Lucky in Love or Drunk in Love are the type of lyrics I’m getting from this. Nothing prevents them from thirsting over you lmao but it’s a good thing! Because they’re confident in liking you so. Damn. Much. And they know you like them back. What a secure lover this person is becomes apparent in their ambitions: They reflect dedication. Meanwhile, they’ve got a balance of mature and outgoing/youthful energy alike. And I feel like they really went from being serious in your presence to just letting it all out! Good for them, because they’re on a roll since they met you slash made contact.

The main kink I’m seeing here is teacher and student, hands down. They are seriously into pretending there’s a difference in power, authority, knowledge, age, looks, all of that. Doesn’t have to be real, it can be roleplay, but they do consider you to be someone to look up to. They pleasure themselves like mad to those thoughts, honestly. The Daddy or Mommy kink is real in this one because whew, QUEEN + EMPEROR? That’s a big deal. You two are either two bold personalities coming together (or they fantasize about that, some major powerplay) or they identify you as that person who pulls all of their strings with little to no effort. Far from intimidated, they are ready to learn and enjoy because they’re your babe.

This person is not a starfish though. Happily under your spell, I can see them quite actively horny because wow Pile 1, their sex drive is just impressive, to say the least. Not scattered, just very strong in general. And they see you just like that as well. They know you are in charge, they feel that you’ll handle the shit out of them without hesitating. Boss of their body is what I’m hearing! Not an inch will belong to anybody else. They love how madly possessive they are.

At the same time, they also think you can learn together, it’s not so set in stone. I like that contrast in the cards. Sovereignty and mature sex versus being carefree and raunchy like a student party. Like they want you to pounce on them and dominate their every cell, but they also want to be your cute little pet to fool around with. I get the impression that this person worships the hell out of you and thinks you’re the best in bed, no matter your degree of experience. That’s the thing, they would be happy with a virgin and a sexpert alike, as I said they hardly care! Because you charmed them and made your standpoint clear! Even if you have a hot VERSUS stone-cold demeanor and sex appeal, they feel inspired by that.

Your sexual energies complement each other well I feel. In their mind, you could top them so easily. They gladly submit to an orgy of pleasure. I think they trust you a lot, they just want to lose control and be chased. They won’t chase you! You’re too prideful and want to set this up on your own terms. This relationship is yours to create, they won’t interfere. They’re too starstruck and want to gather their resources first, only to find out you’re tremendous fun to be with and they had nothing to worry about.

You are the sun of their universe Pile 1, you seduced them so much. If only you would boss them around, they want it so badly. This scenario could be a total clash of titans since you are both a total smokeshow in your own ways. They looked at you and wanted you to open up, leave the stiff old life behind and feel younger again. Since you’re so foxy to them, they treat you like the bombshell you are, with lots of reverence and respect. I’m even getting service sub vibes from your person, Pile 1, they’ll just do whatever you ask `em like you’re royalty, long as it’s consensual of course, but I don’t get any toxic fantasies from this pile, just very dom-sub centered ones.

{ 𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚝/𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘 𝚖.𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 }

pile ii - ACE OF CUPS „i’m your lover in plain sight“

⌈ EIGHT OF SWORDS - KNIGHT OF WANDS - 6 OF COINS - PAGE OF CUPS

Whirlwind kind of romance right here, lots of ups and downs in their anxious mind. You left them feeling powerless to all the energy they perceive you to so blazingly have, Pile 2. They were thunderstruck by your presence, were frozen on the damn spot. Tied. Up. Which leads us to the card imagery, by the way. Bondage fantasies is a huge theme here. I’m just sayin’… That’s their sexual fantasy when they think of you. If you’d blindfold them, or try something like knife play, even (as the swords card indicates), that would get them going so much. Despite their freaky imagination, ironically they are the mellow one, while you are the fiery counterpart that doles it all out to them in their wet dreams.

As contradictory as it sounds, reciprocating and giving back is the dynamic here, though. For instance, if you bought stuff for them, they’d be so happy and fawn over you like wild. Since this is a rollercoaster ride, however… I can’t quite tell what exactly their constant feelings are for you, Pile 2, as they are just so changeable. From no sex drive to reckless abandon to self-control to begging to being a fool in love. What a journey they’ve been through because of you. You make them feel all of this, and they’re saying thank you.

One day they want to be controlled by you, the other, they want to unleash their passion without any help and do their own dance to impress you. They have an edge but they’re romantic, they’re hopeless and they’re hot shit, they’re fair and then such a tease giving you less than you deserve, full well knowing it will keep you hooked and coming for them like an avalanche.

They want you rushing to their home like it's the firefighters. Because well, well… they’re feeling way too hot, aren’t they. At the same time, that’s the puzzling thing, they also want you to keep them at an arm’s length. If you aren’t confused about this person yet, at this point, you gotta be: Which mirrors them, in fact. They don’t quite know what they want consistently, you left them too dumbfounded to understand the situation for sure. Pile 2, this individual is head over heels for you.

Now this starstruck person dreams about being acted upon by you and they love that. Pillow prince/ss is what I’m seeing all over the spread, they have that receptive energy for the most part. They might be a little unruly once they get out of their comfort zone or don’t feel like they’re acknowledged by you (they might as well have a come-save-me fantasy… do them a favor and help them out). But when they do get signals, they are back in love romantically, yes, not so much sexually, they’re touchy-feely like crazy. Just when they felt like roaming free before! If there’s some hunter-prey fantasy going on here I wouldn’t be surprised, they want to keep you on your toes.

As I said, you get the best of both worlds Pile 2, your person is not the predictable type. Maybe that’s why you like `em. They are flirts and then they’re not. They want rough sex and then they want affection little by little. But the final note in their mind is always this: They want you to glued to them, to go wild for them, to witness them like a fish in the water: Through requited love. All they want is to be asked out and live their dreamy, sensitive love. Confusing you is not their intention. Don’t forget they just want love at the end of the day.

{ 𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚝/𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘 𝚖.𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 }

pile iii - JUSTICE „i’m the one you deserve“

⌈ KNIGHT OF COINS - PAGE OF SWORDS - THE SUN - THE EMPRESS

What started out as a sensual, stable connection which didn’t go down in flames of horniness now turned their head into a mush. Which then turned into them bursting with vitality! An online message of yours shook them up, or something you said. But in a positive way, because they’re so happy now. Romantic, personal, sexual bliss, they’re feeling so good about themselves because of you, the dull days are over. What a mood boost you gave them, and they’re confident in their looks because of your steady presence/communication, oh my word.

Because you started out easygoing and then picked up speed, they are absolutely feeling themselves like it’s nobody’s business. I’m so happy for you, Pile 3, because your person is just prancing around like a child after you’ve been frank with them. Talking it out was so needed. Approaching it from a headspace was. Being chatty with them made your person super hot and bothered, too. Hell, they are totally into your voice, the way you take your time when you walk, the way you carry yourself, how you dress up, the way your hair is tousled (if you wear it longer), how you treat yourself, how you choose your words, and how you smile especially.

At first, they were so scared how serious and single-minded you came across. Now they’re blushing and sweating their ass off because you said what you said and you paid attention to them! When they thought they were the knight in shining armor, you gave them a reality check and dodged the bullet, stood your ground instead of playing helpless — which worked in their favor not to get their hopes up and invest right away. That’s how you made this person’s libido explode. But in a good, wholesome way.

This proper mix of humor and the crazy slow burn (!) between the two of you has them going nuts without actually making them crazy, you know? Just healthy adoration and warmth they feel. I get the impression your person has lots of sexual stamina, Pile 3. They know what they’re doing, y’all… they might come across as a total sunshine, but they are, oh my word. Fertile as hell, go all the way, ready to make those babies and live the good life. In this economy? Your person thinks so, who am I to judge, they want that settling down and parenthood. They just know you’d be good at raising kids. But without compromising the mental stimulation, which you give them consistently.

And because you’re such a hottie with charm and good looks, they’re at your feet. You rule them! Your sex appeal has their pretty head spinning, their routine is broken, they can’t get enough of you, they want this in-depth (literally!). For long, they fantasized about having carefree sex with you out in nature, wild and free. Never too much of a good thing with you. You’re so juicy to them, graceful, steamy, gorgeous, you seem to have it all in their eyes.

They think you have elevated status or just carry yourself in a way that shows your life is fulfilled and abundant. Oh hell, what don’t they like about you. Maybe you can be too direct and frank at times? They prefer your magnanimous, silly, soft, giving, cute’n’comfy side. They need to be taken care of a little, or need your cheer-ups. Because they want to take it easy, and not have conflict and difficulty in communication. Healthy, loving, and lasting (!) sexuality is the gist of this, I’m thinking. Quite Venusian of them, I see their sexual thoughts as Libra/7th house or Taurus/2nd house-themed. An all-around feel-good reading, Pile 3, I love the positive cards you got.

{ 𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚝/𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘 𝚖.𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 }

FINAL NOTE. meet me in the reply section if you want, and if you got stuff i can improve about my PAC posts, drop a comment as well, i want to brush up my format again!

⭐️ DISCLAIMER // there is no guarantee for accuracy. believing in the cards is a choice.

© 2017-2023 sugar-petals. All readings for entertainment purposes only: They do not substitute any professional advice. Take what resonates, discard the piles that don’t hit home. If you aren’t drawn to any pile that’s okay, these messages aren’t for you. Do not repost my readings.

#tarot #pac #pick a card #pac reading #tarotblr #pac tarot #pac love #tarot reading #pacs #pick a pile #pick a card readings #love reading #love pac

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meanbossart · 3 months

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I appreciate how you write Astarion so, SO much. I feel like way too many fic writers infantilize him to a point where I honestly start wondering if I'm the one who misinterpreted him so badly.

I'd love to know more about what you think of his character and his arc. Personally I saw him and immediately went "oh god this guy is gonna be the irritating tumblr sexyman of the year🙄" and it took me until Araj basically to warm up to him. What were your initial thoughts and did they change much while playing the game?

OH thank you so much!!! That's a shame if it's the case, and a little surprising to me, to be honest! While he's definitely written be an aloof jerk a lot of the time, I always found him to be surprisingly mature and introspective whenever he's not dishing out witty remarks. He comes off to me as the kind of person who learned to benefit from seeming dumber than he actually is, overall.

HAHA I had a VERY similar experience, not just towards Astarion but all the characters, really (I really disliked Shadowheart at the beginning, too). I had only seen pictures of him and pretty much expected a vapid character that was being carried to stardom because of a talented VA - and because people go nuts for anne rice style vampires lol.

While I was definitely enjoying his voice lines from the start (Again kudos to Neil) I definitely wasn't expecting much else. He piqued my interest after so devastatingly turning my character down at the tiefling party without me even having inquired, and that's when I, the gamer, was like "well, alright, I GOTTA fuck this guy now" (this is also where DU drow's personality began to come out as you can probably guess)

Obviously, if you have two neurons to rub together you can gather pretty quickly that he's not trying to woo you because you're so interesting and wonderful, so I started getting curious! With that dynamic being so different from what you usually expect of romances in these types of games, plus the charming way in which he is written, I started being won over.

I think what really did it was how gradually his attitude changed when responding to new, mostly trivial dialogue options and doing his greetings as you earned his trust, and ESPECIALLY with how he responds to your tav when you express any kind of fear or insecurity during his romance - which was with a lot of sincerity and confidence in his resolve to support you, and in you as a person, a complete 180 from his usual front - Which, again, makes me all the more surprised to hear that he's often painted with such an immature brush.

And obviously he has a DEEPLY ugly side to him (if you've read ANE, hopefully it's clear that I know this, and that I like to explore it just as much as anything else lmao) but it's very interesting to me how it seem to always come in the form of outbursts, rather than a constant evil-streak, usually followed by a glimpse of self-awareness. It feels very much in line with someone who's actually making a great deal of effort to manage their RAMPANT emotions and going through a lot of internal conflict in the process.

GAH. Yeah if you can't tell by this friggin' thesis I just wrote, I love the way they wrote this character a lot and I was definitely proven PROFOUNDLY wrong in my first impression of him - which, if that's not irony at it's finest I don't know what is.

And as an aside! I also very much appreciate that he's a "queer" coded character who's effeminate (in the Old Homo kind of way, but I digress) and flamboyant, but taken Dead Fucking Seriously. With as much progress as we've made in LGBT rep in media, I still often feel like gay men will only get that kind of treatment for as long as they "Aren't That Gay" (I know Astarion doesn't have a set sexuality - But lets not mince words: stereotypes exist, and he fits into most of them) and as a thin-wristed gay guy who's a little too found of linen shirts, I can honestly say that experiencing a character like that helped me with my own confidence.

#ask #astarion #bg3 spoilers

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blossomthepinkbunny · 2 months

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Charlie as an underdeveloped character

One thing I was genuinely dissapointed by when watching Hazbin Hotel was that they never cared to dive into Charlie's Morality more.

I feel like a lot of people can agree that Charlie felt very flat/sidelined in a show she was supposed to be the main character of and I think that that's because they ran out of Character Moments for her. Her Backstory is pretty much just infodumped at the start so there's nothing you can really explore there (except for her relationship with her parents ig but they only really brought that up and resolved it in one episode). Alastor has the mystery behind him of what his goals really are, Angel Dust has his arc about standing up to his abuser, Vaggie has her dramatic backstory reveal thing and Sir pentious gets focus as the one real guest at the hotel and with his goal to be redeemed.

Charlie really has no conflict at all, which is weird since the whole plot is that her idea is relentlessly mocked and never succeeds until the end. But she doesn't have a personal conflict. All the issues she faces come from the ignorance of the people around her who don't support her, but never from who she is. She never has to change. They try to hint at this with her being possibly invasive and not respecting boundaries in the Angel Dust and Valentino episode. But the episode doesn't focus on her and Angel as they talk it out and she realizes how she might have to change as well (from how I remember it). It focuses on Husk and Angel's relationship instead.

I feel like the easiest route they could've taken for her character was that of a moral dilemma. Charlie believes in second chances and being able to change demons and her opposite is Adam, who doesn't think demons should be redeemed and should just be killed instead. But it's never specified if Charlie truly believes everyone deserves a second chance or if there are restrictions to that. Adam sings a song in the first episode and explaines his reasoning for why he believes demons shouldn't be saved, which is that they had their chance to be good and didn't choose it and now they can't expect another one (I guess the real reason is that he's just an asshole who doesn't care but that's because Vivzepop can't write Villains so I'll just pretend like that's his real reason).

The problem is that Adam is presented as fully in the wrong and I just don't agree with that. I'm not saying he's right with killing random demons of course but the show never takes the time to consider that sometimes people go to hell because they are actually terrible and have done inexcusable things. Like yeah, someone who had an addicition or a mental health problem while they were alive obviously doesn't deserve eternal suffering without any chance for redeemability, but we know that those aren't the only people that go to hell (in the pilot it's literally confirmed that real life criminals like Jeffrey Dahmer are also down there).

The show blatanly shows us characters like Valentino who are shown to do irredeemable things and be purely evil.

My question is just if Charlie would also look at someone like Valentino and say: "Yeah they deserve to be saved and get a second chance". She obviously thinks Valentino sucks, which we see in the Episode were she meets him.

So like, what would she have done if in the second episode someone like him stood at their door and wanted to be redeemed instead of Sir Pentious. Does she draw a line? Or would she have really heard him out? Her morality with this "everybody deserves a second chance" attitude is so underexplored even though it would have been the perfect place to develop her more. If they had confronted her with an actually tough situation, where she is presented with a truly terrible person, they could've had two interesting ways to take her character.

She could've accepted the person and with that she'd have taken her role a fully 'good' saviour for the demons. Someone who is truly without judgement, or atleast believes that there is good in everyone that just has to be brought out. Which would've also given room to think about if people like that are even inherently good, if they can 'excuse' the actions of terrible people and still want to help them. This would have made her a very extreme character in her believes, but something coherent and definitive is actually something Charlie desperately needs for her characterization.

The other way would've had her reject the person and with that she would have to face the idea that maybe Adam isn't fully wrong. In that situation she would have found herself in a similar position to the Angels in heaven, where she basically is the one deciding over what's acceptable and what isn't. This could lead to her having a moral dilemma. Is she even a good person if she's deciding what's moral and what isn't? Can she just be okay with making exceptions to her idea to protect her people? Does she even want to view EVERY demon as her family? Or does she think there are some demons that maybe deserve death?

I'm just really dissapointed that the show takes such an interesting idea and such a difficult topic and then just does nothing with it. What we view as bad and good and which people we judge harder than others will always depend on social norms and the situation. It's a topic with no real right and wrong answer because there are so many things to consider. But this moral grey conflict that is literally one of the MAIN CONFLICTS in Hazbin Hotel is so incredibly underwritten, that it's not even funny.

Instead of acknowledging the difficulty of the subject Hazbin does what it does best and takes the easy route with seemingly clear right and wrong sides. This is especially stupid, since morally grey characters are supposed to be the point of the show. Like there are these demons who have done bad things and who aren't perfect, but that doesn't make them bad people. Its about revealing that a person has layers (which the writing doesn't). This is also a big point in Helluva Boss, where characters like Blitzø or Stolas who mess up repeatedly, are supposed to be shown as still having interests, aspirations, and good things to them.

The easy route which is taken constantly in both shows however makes it so that Charlie is completely in the right and anyone who criticises her is one of the evil people who try to ruin her plan, just like Adam. Who's also such a straw man for anyone who even dares to bring any objection to Charlies ideas, because everyone who does is apparently a hypocrite who just doesn't understand her and would rather side with genocide (I wonder were Vivzepop takes her inspiration from).

Charlies writing was just really dissapointing with almost never any reflection being done on her part. She doesn't have really striking moments, discussions or ideas to her in a show she's supposed to lead. That's just an issue that comes with Vivzepop never really putting as much work into her female characters, even tough they would desperately need it.

I know that only the first season is out so far, but I highly doubt thay they'll bring up a discussion like this in s2. Especially since Adam is dead now and the Angels will probably try to work more with the demons, after Sir Pentious' redemtion and the reveal of the exterminations to them. Also the Vees, Lillith and Alastor will be more of focus from what we can assume by the ending scenes.

I just don’t like that Viv can take interesting conflicts and write them to be completely one-dimensional and boring.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critique #helluva boss #charlie morningstar #vivzepop critical #vivziepop

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septembercfawkes · 10 months

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7 (More) Things I Wish I'd Known as a Beginning Writer

Last time I shared seven things I wish I'd known as a beginning writer. Unsurprisingly, that wasn't an exhaustive list, and I've been thinking about it some more. So, I present to you, seven more things I wish I'd known as a beginning writer. . . .

1. The Central Relationship Needs an Arc and an Actual Plot

Many of us have been told we need a relationship plotline in our stories, but few of us have received any guidance on how to actually do that (unless, of course, you are writing romance).

And in my first novel attempt, back in the day, the central relationship was not romantic. I had an idea for what the relationship was like, but partway through the story, it wasn't working. And it was becoming super annoying.

What I didn't realize was that it was annoying because it was mostly static. Nothing was changing. The characters weren't growing closer together or further apart. Instead of the relationship plotline having "peaks" and "valleys," it was mostly just a straight line.

Of course, I knew it was going to change at the end.

But what I didn't understand was that it still needed a plot through the middle. 🤦‍♀️ Which means it still needed the basics of plot: goal, antagonist, conflict, consequences.

Not just interesting interactions and conversations. Not just banter and pastimes.

In my last post, I mentioned the three basic types of goals: obtain, avoid, maintain.

Well, in relationship plots, this translates into these three basic goals: grow closer to the person (obtain), push further away from the person (avoid), maintain the relationship as is (maintain).

The antagonistic force is whatever gets in the way of that. If your protagonist wants to draw closer to this person, then an antagonistic force should be pushing him away. If he wants to be apart from this person, then the antagonistic force should be pushing him closer. If he wants to maintain the relationship as is, then the antagonistic force is what disrupts that. This creates conflicts and should lead to consequences.

If you have a relationship plotline, it needs an actual plot.

2. Choose a Tentative Theme Early, to Better Shape and Evaluate Your Story

If you've been following me for a while, you probably know I consider these three things to be the triarchy (formerly known as "trinity") of storytelling: character, plot, and theme.

Each of these elements comes out of and influences the others.

This also means you can use each of these to help shape and evaluate the quality of the others.

It's much easier to write a solid story when you understand all three.

If you have only one or two pieces, it's harder to discern which ideas are just okay and which ideas are great. It's harder to discern what does or does not belong in your story.

The best ideas for your story are going to come from and touch each of those three things.

Most beginners are familiar with concepts of characters and plot.

Few know anything about theme.

And fewer still have the desire to learn anything about theme. It's often seen as unimportant or something that "just happens." Okay, sure, it could just happen. Maybe.

But writing your story will (in the long run) be much easier if you at least understand some basics about theme.

I have so much to say on theme, it could probably fill up a book (and maybe someday it will), but for now, if you want more information on it . . . I'd recommend starting with this article: The Secret Ingredients for Writing Theme. It breaks down the key elements of theme, which can give you a good foundation.

Even if your theme ends up changing a bit, starting with an idea in mind will help keep your story on track.

3. Your Story Needs a Counterargument

Remember when I was talking about theme, and implied I wasn't going to go into it that much more? Well . . . I guess I'm going to go into it a little more.

The thematic statement is the argument the story is making about life.

But it's not really an argument if no one is disagreeing.

This means your story needs a counterargument (I call this the "anti-theme").

This counterargument will often manifest within the protagonist (as a "flaw" or misbelief or something the character needs to cast off or overcome) and/or within the main antagonistic force.

It can technically show up in other places and in other ways, but let's keep this basic.

So if your story ultimately shows the audience that it's best to be merciful, then a counterargument for that could be that it's best to enforce justice (Les Mis).

If your story ultimately shows the audience that it's best to ask for, give, and receive help, then a counterargument for that could be that it's best to avoid, withhold, and refuse help and do everything yourself (A Man Called Otto).

If your story ultimately shows the audience that it's best to rely on faith, then a counterargument for that could be that it's best to rely on technology (Star Wars IV: A New Hope).

The two arguments are locked in a "battle" of sorts, similar to how the protagonist and antagonist are, because they are in opposition to one another (see #5 in previous article).

The arguments need to be "shown" more than "told." And the counterargument should be given fair weight, because doing so will actually make the whole theme (and plot and characters) stronger.

Here are some examples to think about:

4. Writing More isn't Enough to Take Your Work to a Professional Level

We are often told that if we want to be great writers, we need to write more. And this is true. To an extent.

I've worked with writers who had been writing for decades, but were still at a beginner level.

I have known writers who bent over backward to meet word count goals, only to end up with a pile of slush they couldn't see their way out of.

I myself have spent enormous amounts of time and words trying to write something brilliant.

But for the vast majority of people, putting in the time and word count isn't enough.

What is the point of clocking in more and more hours and typing more and more words if you don't know how professional-level stories actually work?

Don't get me wrong--you absolutely need to put in time and words, and they absolutely will help you improve! And yes, quantity can improve quality.

But also remember this: You don't know what you don't know.

And if you are practicing imperfectly, that doesn't guarantee that one day it's going to be perfect.

If I have lousy technique every time I go bowling (and frankly, I do), that doesn't guarantee I'm going to get any better if I don't know what I'm doing wrong or how to improve or what good technique looks like--no matter how much time I put in.

This is sadly usually true for writing.

I'm not saying that no one gets to the professional level by only clocking in writing hours, but just that . . . I don't think most of us do. And I think some of us could spend decades clocking in the hours, and really, just be spinning our hamster wheels because we don't know what we don't know--we don't know why professional stories are professional level, so we don't know how to improve.

Hands-on practice is vital.

But so is education.

Sometimes it's actually more beneficial to learn about the craft from someone than to complete your Xth writing sprint to meet your word count goal.

If I could speak to my past self, I would tell beginner me to spend more time studying the craft. In the long run, it would have actually helped me get better easier and much faster than clocking in another hour of writing (that would have ended up in the garbage bin anyway). I've put in a lot of hours that didn't get me very far because I didn't fully understand where I was trying to get, or how.

There is always more you can learn. And especially in the writing world, there is always another perspective to learn what you think you already know. Many writers talk about the same subjects, but come at them from different angles, and learning even those different angles can help you refine your understanding of that subject.

I'm not going to say that tomorrow you have to sign up to take a bunch of courses (though you can if you want), but make time to learn about the craft regularly. You may want to ask yourself: Is it better for me right now to write for an hour or to learn for an hour?

5. Conflict for the Sake of Conflict is Actually Filler--You Need Consequences!

There is an adage in the writing community, which is that story = conflict.

And once again, it's true. To an extent.

But adding a bunch of conflict isn't enough to make a story good.

If the conflict doesn't change anything--if it doesn't have at least the power to change any outcomes, then what is the point? It's just stuff happening.

Who cares if a bomb is going to go off, if no one or nothing significant is in danger of being blown up?

Conflicts need consequences to be meaningful.

It's really the consequences that hook and draw readers into the story. Or at least, the potential consequences. It's potential consequences that make up the stakes in the story.

And they draw the audience in because the audience wants to see if what could happen actually does happen.

Once the audience understands the potential consequences (the stakes), they care about the conflict, because how the conflict is resolved will affect what happens next. The conflict now has significance because it changes the direction of the story, it changes the future.

Consequences also improve the story by strengthening a sense of cause and effect.

As I touched on in my previous post (see #4), random bad things happening is actually less effective (and makes characters less sympathetic). And random good things happening is also less effective (and makes characters less admirable). Instead, it's better if the bad and good things that happen come as a consequence to how a conflict was resolved.

This often happens even at a scene level. Just as nearly every scene should have a goal and antagonist, nearly every scene should have conflict. How that conflict is resolved in that scene should also carry consequences and affect what's going to be happening in the near future of the story (generally speaking).

Consequences also allow the audience to experience tension, which, as counterintuitive as it sounds, can be more effective than outright conflict. Tension is the potential for problems to happen. Conflict is actual problems happening. Tension makes the audience feel suspense. But suspense often only exists because the audience understands the potential consequences (the stakes) in play.

If there are no known consequences, then the conflict often doesn't really matter to the audience, because they can't see how it will change anything significantly.

6. Starting in Medias Res is Actually Harder, not Easier

A lot of beginning writers struggle with beginnings--which makes sense, because they can be very difficult to write.

And so a lot of beginning writers are told to open their stories in medias res, which translates to "in the midst of things." This basically means you open the story up with some form of rising action (conflict)--usually it's that scene's rising action (see #2 in my previous post).

In other words, you are essentially cutting off the scene's setup.

While this can be effective, and while I may be unpopular in my opinion, I don't feel that it makes things easier. In fact, more often than not, I think it's actually harder to start in medias res.

This relates to what we just talked about above in #5.

When we start a scene in medias res, we are starting with conflict, but if the audience doesn't know why the conflict matters, then it won't hold them for very long.

When you cut off the setup of a scene, you now have to find a way to convey who is there, where is "there," what is there, when, and why we care (the why is the stakes).

--all without slowing the pacing.

This is why I think it's often (though not always) more difficult.

Now don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying you can't start in medias res, or that you shouldn't start in medias res.

I'm just saying it's tricky.

Instead, I would personally recommend starting just before the scene's conflict. Start early enough to give the audience context to understand what is about to go down: where and when the scene takes place, who is there, what the goal is, and what the potential consequences are. Make the setup long enough to convey the important stuff, but short enough to stay interesting.

Then get to the scene's conflict, the rising action.

You can read more than you probably want to know about in medias res here.

7. Yes, You Really Need to Do That If You Want to Write at a Professional Level

This last thing is pretty nonspecific, as it's not about one particular piece of writing advice. When I started taking writing seriously and going to conferences and listening to podcasts and what have you, I often felt skeptical of what I heard. Now, sometimes that skepticism served me well (and has led to many of my blog posts), but other times that skepticism held me back. What's the difference?

Being skeptical of "writing rules" has, in the long (long) run, served me well, because it has actually led me to better understand the rules, why they are rules, how they work, and how and when to break them.

But sometimes it wasn't that I was skeptical of the rule itself. It was that I was skeptical that I needed to do X at all. I was skeptical that professionals actually did X.

For example, I would hear about Swain's scene structureand think, Yeah, there is no way most people actually do all this and put all this thought into their scenes.

Or I would run into a breakdown of character arcs and think, Yeah, there is no way most people actually do all these things to write a great character arc.

And in the community, I have brushed up against this same mentality from others. Viewpoint is a popular subject. "Do I really need to be in one character's viewpoint at a time?" or "Is it really that big of a deal that I described the viewpoint character's face?"

And I'm like . . . on the one hand, no, and on the other hand, well yes--if you want to write at a professional level and be competing professionally.

Not that no professional ever varies from that, but just that those are exceptions that prove the point.

And it's not even that every professional is consciously doing X thing. They may be doing it subconsciously. But X thing usually still needs to be there, for the story to sound professional.

So yes, you really do need to do X thing if you want to be writing at a professional level.

If you don't care about writing at a professional level, then obviously you don't have to. It's totally valid to write for a hobby or just for fun.

Now I will echo what I said last time. If I had waited until I understood all these things to start writing, I would have been waiting forever. And some things I would have never properly understood without the actual writing process. Yes, we need to be educated on how stories work, but it's also important to sit down and write.

#writing tips #writing tips and tricks #writing help #writeblr #writing advice #writer #writing reference #writing tip #writing

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starshipsofstarlord · 9 months

Text

No Pogue On Pogue

Summary -> whilst stranded on Poguelandia, you feel alone, despite your best friend JJ being there with you. And so he reminds you, as long as he’s with you, that you’re never alone (2.1k)

Warnings -> 18+ minors dni pleeeaasseee, smut, unprotected sex, fingering, friends to lovers, fluff, pinch of angst, no pogue on pogue rule

jj maybank works other obx works masterlist

JJ Maybank was one of a kind, and he was your best friend. There was nobody that you trusted more than him, he was an honest young man, and he made you feel safe despite all the danger and threatening situations that you had endured. You felt lonely in Poguelandia, as much as you wanted it to feel like home, it wasn’t.

Your parents were most likely wondering where you had disappeared to, and there was no way to contact them, you were lost to the society of which you had grown up in. You rested your head upon your knees as you sat by yourself on the sand, watching the ocean dancing just to pass the time.

Everybody else, your friends, were making the most of the escape of this island whilst it lasted, but you didn’t want to be here. They were all crowded around a fire, farther down the beach, but you didn’t want to celebrate, even if you had survived. This wasn’t where you belonged, wherever the hell you were.

John B had Sarah, Pope had Cleo even if he didn’t realise it and Kiara, well she never needed any reassurance, she was a strong girl, but you were breaking. That left you and JJ, distant yet close at the same time. His footprints paved their route over to you, noticing how you were so far away, he was concerned.

He’d always had a soft spot for you, but recently he wanted to be closer to you, more than just letting your shoulders touch when you sat side by side, or sharing a doobie when things got too much. His blond hair blew in the breeze as he headed towards your silhouette, needing some of the good old solace that your company granted him.

He’d made plenty of mistakes, but you were the only one that truly never judged him for them. “Y/N, why are you over here? You should come and join us, or at least come and eat something.” He spoke as he finally reached you, his eyes trailing over your insecure form, there was something off with you, and he was the only person that seemed to realise it. You shook your unbrushed head, silently declining his offer.

Perhaps it was better to be alone, nobody could hurt you, or have you feeling as conflicted as you were. JJ wouldn’t allow to you dwell in your misery alone however, and so he seated himself beside you, the sand crawling like an insect over his legs, but he didn’t care, you were his priority right now. A spark shot through your body when he reached for your hand, intertwining your fingers to comfort not only you, but himself also.

“I’m okay J, I mean it.” He fixed your empty promise with a disbelieving eye, gently rocking his shoulder to the right so that it would lightly bash against your own. You’d missed human contact, you had secluded yourself, so that you could daydream that none of this was real, and that things were no different from normal. “Don’t lie to me Y/N/N, I know you aren’t. I’m the one that can always tell, and I know that we’re stranded here, but at least we’re together. That’s gotta count for something, right?”

His smile was making your shielded exterior slowly melt, and you could only reciprocate it with a small one, but nevertheless the twinge that had crossed your lips still made JJ’s heart thump in his chest. “I guess so. It’s just, I miss home, don’t you? I know that’s a silly question, you love it here, but I mean like the chateau and the Boneyard, and stuff like that. There’s nothing here, it’s empty and everyone has someone to hold onto, and there’s just me.”

“I can’t miss home when you’re my home and you’re right here.” He confessed with a steady heart, your eyes widening from what he had said. “Come on, it’s not doing us any good just sitting here,” he stood, brushing a little sand from himself as he extended his hand down for you to grab, and you accepted the invitation. “Have you been anywhere but on this bit of sand yet?” He knew you hadn’t and so he didn’t wait for your answer and dragged your willing body towards the ever green trees, the two of you disappearing into a whole new world.

It was beautiful, there was an array of plants springing out from the ground, it seemed like this was the escape from reality that you had been craving the entire time. Your footsteps were small as you followed after JJ who took you a little further into the depths of the wilderness, your eyes taking in the nature around you. “It’s beautiful.” You said, almost star struck. A gasp rippled from your throat however when JJ, your friend, spun you around and pushed your back into the trunk of a tree.

The bark was rough against the exposed skin of your back that was concealed by little more than a loose tank, your brows migrated close together in a frown as you watched a darkness pool in JJ’s usual ocean coloured irises. “You’re beautiful.” He corrected you, leaning in evidently closer as his breath fanned across your lips, it would be right to push him away, but you couldn’t find the strength within yourself to do that. He was intoxicating, like a drug you knew you shouldn’t take, but he was your overall weakness.

“J…” you tried to remind him of the rule that Kie and Pope had already broken, remembering how it had ended for them, but he wouldn’t allow you to speak another word. His lips chased your own that was attempting to release excuses, until they finally landed on their destination, and he melted against you, and your hands defiantly grasped his locks, but not to push him away, instead to pull him closer. It had been a long time coming for this to happen, and here it was, finally happening; you felt as though you were about to start floating into the clouds, but JJ’s ring dressed knuckles steadied themselves on your waist, keeping you with him.

He kneaded closer to you, his kisses becoming open mouthed, tongue invading your mouth and wrestling with your own. The tension was like nothing you had ever felt before, there was a weight pushing down on you becoming more weightless with every second that passed. “I need you.” You muttered against his chapped and dry lips before biting them in a starved manner, and the man before you groaned, shuffling his feet on the leaves that carpeted the ground below you, giving you an eskimo kiss before shimmying your shorts down your sunburnt legs, wishing to dive into your deep waves of serenity.

“I’ve always needed you.” He told you affectionately, trying not to think of what your mutual friends would think. They’d be furious with the two of you, but after all you had gone through, it was the least of your problems. “And I always will.” He said with every heartfelt emotion in his body, his hands trailing down your desirable body before they came to your mound, he teased you slowly with his fingertips, dancing around the edge of where you wanted him, before he rubbed the pads of his fingers against your slit, which only made your wetness grow.

He could listen to your stammered breaths for a lifetime, he wasn’t sure where to look, whether down at your pussy that he had dreamt about, or your face where your pleasure showed. Your cheeks had grown warm from the his acts, and he wanted to make you burn alight, and so he entered a finger into you, slipping it in until you were filled to the brim of his knuckle. Your hands screwed up the fabric of his sleeveless shirt, threatening to tear it, and he wouldn’t care if you did. Seeing you so lost in the right way made him happy, he began to move his finger, eliciting whimpers from your sweet lips.

The sounds you made softly echoed through the columns of the trees, and he was thankful that the others remained on the beach. This was a moment he only wished to share with you, it was a beautiful instance that had caused the pair of you to finally crash into one, and to ready you to feel all of him, he entered another finger and scissored them within your walls, making your entire body almost burst from the sensation. It had been too long since you felt this way, not to mention that you were now receiving it from JJ.

All of those times you had been with other guys, you had always pictured it to be JJ, nobody ever lived up to him in your eyes. He was your perfect match, and with everything that he was doing to you your legs felt as though they were being scrambled and you wobbled. “I think you’re ready for me.” JJ suspected with words, removing his fingers and leaving you feel empty. You had disappeared from reality for a moment that you didn’t realise that he had slipped down his layers on his bottom half, until he held the tip of his cock against your dewy folds, brushing it against them as though he were painting petals.

He gave you a look, grasping the side of your face with his left hand, brushing your astray hairs away with his fingertips. “Do you want this Y/N? Once we do this, you know we can’t go back.” That was exactly the reason as to why the two of you had never experimented with each others bodies before, but you felt as though this time you had already gone too far to turn back. “Of course I want this J, things aren’t going to be the same if we go back home either way, so give me something not to regret.” You’d been on the search for gold for too long in your eyes, when the most precious thing was right before you.

With the consent that you had given him, JJ drove his length into your cunt, slowly, as to take in every second of it so that he could cherish your first time together. “Fuck.” He cursed, one of his hands resting behind you on the tree to keep himself upright. It would be just his luck if he were to fall, considering that there was an impending fear that this moment the two of you were sharing was going to be ruined by something. Your lids fluttered as you felt all of him inside of you, you pulled him down by his neck to connect your lips messily again, wanting to taste everything that you had craved for years.

JJ leant his shoulder down slightly, so that he could hook your leg over his waist, giving him the best angle to start fucking you. His hips clashed euphorically against your own, starting off slow until he became too eager to feel your pussy tighten around him, easing himself into a quicker pace. There was sweat dripping down both of your faces as you chased a feeling that the two of you never wanted to stop, and sooner than you hoped, it came crashing down on you, causing you to splinter JJ’s shoulders with your nails. It triggered JJ’s own orgasm that he emptied inside of you, creating a warmth that spread in your whole lower half.

“That was…” God there weren’t enough words for him to describe it, and he pressed his tired lips against your forehead, soothing your pulse that was suffering from a jumbled spasm. He slowly, much to his own dismay, retracted his length from your pussy, a little of his cum sliding down the inside of your leg. He helped you get dressed before he held your hand. “Feels good to be home.” He said as he leant down to kiss you, but he grew confused when you pulled away, especially after what had just happened.

“Do you hear that?” You asked him, staring up to the roof of the trees, heading slowly towards the beach. “It sounds like a…” you didn’t want to finish your sentence in case you got your hopes up, but you held his hand, and then he heard it too. It was the spiralling propellers of a helicopter, and so the two of you rushed towards where your friends were, and heard Pope calling your names. And there it was, your way back to Outer Banks. But you realised that wasn’t your home, JJ was.

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orphicrose · 2 months

Text

The co-host (Alastor x femreader) II

< >

Summary: You are Alastors Co host in life, perhaps more. But are separated by a sudden death. When you are finally reunited in the under world, it is up to Alastor to figure out why you don’t remember him.

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Alastor had arrived in hell a few years after you, completely unaware that you ended up in the same place. You both saw each other as saints, i guess that's what love does to you. If only you had more time to truly know each other. His last years weren't as dignified as yours. And neither was his death.

All through your sickness, he was by your side. Cooking for you, entertaining you, helping out with rent. Your mother would have, but she lived in another state, and had very little money to come visit you or support you. So Alastor did. But when your body decided enough was enough, you took a toll for the worse. You were gone within days, with him still by your side. Willing to do anything to see your eyes full of life just one more time. It truly broke him as a person. But no one would ever know.

He sent out a broadcast to honor your name, all of your frequent listeners shedding a tear over the loss. Because it truly was a loss. Spreading kind words like "she's in a better place now", if only they knew.

Then there was Alastor. In the end, everyone was glad the world had ridded such a monster. No one knew it when he died, but they did when the remains of those who had gone missing was uncovered. Some argue they deserved it, some argue it was an act of evil.

It had been a few weeks since the encounter with Satan. Y/N didn't have much of a choice, her soul was his. Now she had to do his dirty work. You see, Satan's a busy man. Being the keeper of the wraith ring, and having the people of earth call on him frequently for deals. He couldn't keep up with all of it. So, he gave some of that responsibility to Y/n. Someone who can claim souls and grant wishes from the desperate and needy. Of course the souls still belonged to him, she was just the messenger. With this comes the ability to travel to the mortal realm, and fear of other sinners when you are being called the sacrificer. Within days, Y/n rose the ranks as an overlord who owned a large territory. Unspeakable amounts of power being given to this singular soul was a lot to take in, but she didn't have a choice.

The business was now up and running, "The slaughter house". Satan being the CEO, of course. Y/N being the manager, and other souls of Satan being his laborers who dealt with mundane things like paper work. The pay wasn't too bad though. This operation being set up in hell also gave other sinners the opportunity to sell their soul to Satan in return for a high paying job. Its a bit extreme, but it gets very desperate in hell. I'm sure you can imagine.

Y/n's name was lost, now being called the demon of sacrifice. It was incredibly de-humanizing, and she hated it. Only using her power when absolutely necessary or when business required it. But it wasn't all bad, she had a better accommodation, a steady cash flow, a lot of useful contacts and very little conflict with other demons. It was also incredibly lonely. Because of the fear around her name, very few people were willing to befriend her.

Then, on top of that, was the pain of her memories from life. Knowing that all if this is ultimately her fault. All because she just wanted power. How was she to carry on. Then it hit her, she has the power to do what she pleases. She can be whoever she wants to be down here, and to start this she needed to forget everything that haunted her.

Alastor landed in hell four years after y/n, after being shot in between the eyes. Not many know how his rise to power happened, but it was merely overnight. Tormenting the citizens of hell, kidnapping powerful overlords that few would dare to mess with, and giving a new reason for sinners to fear for their lives. The radio demon was born, and it didn't take long before his radio broadcasts displayed what had happened to his unfortunate victims. No one was safe.

"Miss l/n! Todays demand for Satan is big today, I don't think we will be able to get through all of them" a small, fishlike demon ran up to her, struggling to keep up with her pace through the corridors.

"Its late, imp. I will deal with them tomorrow. Prioritize the simpler requests, none of that fame or millionaire shit." Y/n bit back, eager to leave.

"But ma'am, The sin of wraith isn't very happy with how the number of souls are dropping"

"uh huh, uh huh. I'll see you tomorrow, imp" The door slammed in his face, and the handle was too high for him to reach.

"I'm not an imp" He mumbles under his breath, watching the overlord walk away in the windows of the door.

Y/n had a coffee date with one of her closest friends, Zestial. One of the few overlords who still had his head attached to him. They had arranged to talk about the affects of the new tormentor, needing a plan to put their people at ease and to protect the skin on the bac of their necks. Usually, she'd have someone accompany her. But this occasion was far too private.

The night had progressed fast, the crimson sky darkened and street lamps struggled to do their job and lighten the streets. Y/n was almost at her destination when she noted a faint buzzing sound in the back of her head. It definitely wasn't there before. She stopped at the end of an alley she had just walked through, and assessed her surroundings. No one, not a soul in sight. Behind her, again no one. A strange feeling made its way into her throat, as if her body sensed danger. The sound getting louder, louder. Street lights seemingly struggling even more, and eventually going out. One by one. The street was pitch black within seconds. Y/n couldn't do anything but remain in their position, against the wall of the alley.

A small, voodoo doll like creature ran passed the entrance of the alley. Paying her no attention, and laughing as he went. He was barely audible as the static became more insufferable in her ears. But she knew something was after her, she just prayed to lucifer that it wasn't who she thought it was.

"Not even going to try and run, dear?" The static stopped, the voice sounding like it was in the air. Having no body attached to it. Then he materialized seemingly from the shadows. His slim body accompanied by a tailored red suit, and an eerie smile refraining his face from showing any sort of emotion. The radio demon. He was here. Her face was barely visible in the darkness he had created, only the glowing from her eyes was an indication of life.

"Come on, give me a chase. Make this interesting. I'll give you a head start" He taunted, slowly getting closer. Leaning his cane at his side, making it hard for y/n to get out.

"No? I guess this will be the easiest kill yet" His smile widened a the seams of his mouth, being pulled by an invisible string like a doll. His form followed in lead, being hoisted up and enlarged to intimidate his prey.

"Don't touch me freak." Y/N finally spoke, kicking his cane over and materializing into the ground. Becoming nothing more than a shadow that cant be touched. He watched at she disappeared into the night, almost in disbelief. He's heard that voice before. But it can't be, there's no way she is down here. She can't be. His smile never faltered, and he decided to leave this chase for another day. Street light finally flickered back on, and everything remained as it was before. Other than Alastor's new knowledge. Their story wasn't over yet.

#fanfiction #hazbin husk #hazbin angel dust #hazbin charlie #hazbin hotel #hazbin x reader #hazbin x you #hazbin x y/n #alastor x reader

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iwillneverforgiveyousunghanbin · 4 months

Text

airpods

read part two (posted 4/28/24) here!!! wc: 2k reader: femme!afab (matt calls reader a "bad girl", reader is wearing a denim skirt) warnings: smut 18+; MINORS DNI!!! -- specific warnings under the cut -- also a really bonkers scenario; funny & angst -- stepcest -- inserting foreign objects -- slighttttt dub-conn-ish summary: (y/n) will only give rivalnewstepbrother!matthew his airpods back if he promises to play a little game with them

ੈ✩‧₊˚ this is a doozy lmao. pretty iconic tho if i do say so myself. i take literally no responsibility for it even tho i am 100% responsible for it. basically just wrote itself while i was in a fever dream-like state so pls enjoy. i think it needs a sequel personally but lemme know what you think!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

warnings: 18+ explicit smut, stepcest, insertion of foreign object into genitals (reader), kind of dub-conny, lots of taunting teasing and degradation from both characters, fingering (reader receiving), oral sex (female receiving), orgasm denial, hints of dom!matt and dom!reader and also sub!matt and sub!reader we really cover the bases and lay some groundwork lmao, lots of swearing and i used the word vagina once it was for something funny not for smut but people can still be triggered by that word so! you are warned.

“matty, what the actual f*ck are you doing?” you ask as the sight of your dumbass step brother admiring his shirtless reflection in the mirror assaults your eyes.

ever since you met matthew a year and a half ago, every holiday had been ruined by your family constantly comparing you to him. why couldn’t you be more like matt? he’s so passionate and hardworking towards his craft and you’re a waitress at a bar. and not a classy one.

though you don’t see him all that much, you have to share the house with him when he comes home to visit. this particular visit, you and matthew have the house to yourselves for the night— your parents having left this morning for a little new year’s getaway.

matthew’s flexing his (admittedly defined) triceps and dancing around a bit— headphones covering his ears. but when he sees your reflection staring back at him in his bedroom mirror, he jumps in horror.

“WHY ARE YOU WATCHING ME!?” he shouts, tearing off his headphones and sprinting across the room to slam the door in your face. “stalker.”

“freak,” you reply childishly, stepping back out of the doorframe to avoid a broken nose. once the door is shut, you knock sweetly.

tap, tap. tap, tap.

matthew opens it, cheeks as red (and canadian) as a pair of macintosh apples. “what do you want?”

“well, i was going to give you back your airpods that i stole yesterday so you didn’t have to wear those clunky headphones anymore, but,” you shake the airpods case in front of you teasingly before placing it back in the pocket of your denim skirt, “i don’t really wanna give them to you anymore after how rude you just were.”

“you—… you stole my airpods!?” matthew exclaims. “i’ve been looking everywhere for them!”

you shrug. “i guess not everywhere.”

“ugh, you can be such a b—,” matthew starts to curse, but he stops; a little conflicted pout forming on his plush lips. “a b—…”

“you can’t even f*cking say it, can you?” you taunt, pushing matthew’s door open a little further and taking a step inside. “too much of a marshmallow to even swear at me. afraid of hurting my feelings or something, matty?”

“as i’ve said many times before, just matt is fine,” he spits, brows furrowing in frustration. “and i’m not a marshmallow. and, frankly, i don’t give a… shit… about your feelings!”

“cute,” you mock, inching closer to him. your eyes wander down to his torso, a six-pack of well-fed abs staring back at you. “what is it with all the muscles anyway? you think they’ll distract girls from seeing how much of a dumpling you really are?”

“i’m not a dumpling,” matthew huffs through gritted teeth. “and it’s none of your business.”

you consider this for a moment and then nod. “you’re right. it’s none of my business.”

“really? that was easier than—”

“but if it was my business,” you continue, stealing another glance at his chest. your eyes trail down further— waistband of his calvin klein boxers peaking out from his jeans. you hate to admit it, but he’s kind of hot. maybe that wasn’t an entirely appropriate thought to be having about your lameass new step brother, but it was unfortunately the truth. “i’d tell you it isn’t working. not bad to look at though.”

you turn on your heel, starting to walk back out the door when matthew calls, “hey, what about my airpods!?”

“what airpods?” you reply innocently before a smirk darkens your features. you pull the case out of the pocket of your skirt again and wave it in front of him enticingly. “oh, these?”

matthew tries to grab them out of your hand, but you’re too quick— the earbuds back safely in your pocket before he can steal them. his jaw sets, eyes ripe with anger as he pushes the door shut behind you. he inches forward, effectively trapping you between him and the door. “give them the fuck back, you insufferable bitch.”

a wave of desire rushes over you. there’s just something about driving a nice boy over the edge that really does it for you.

and matthew was the nicest of nice boys— and because of that, a giant pain in your ass. but hearing him talk like that as he corners you in; hovering only a couple inches from your face…

“oh—… i—… uh… sorry,” he stutters as he realizes how close he is to you, backing up and stuffing his hands in his pockets. matthew blushes again as he looks away from you nervously.

he’s resumed his dumpling form, but the glimpse of potential lurking underneath was enough to make you want to see more.

“fine, you can have your airpods back,” you relent with a sigh. “if…”

“if?” he asks, brow raised.

“if you can find where i hide them,” you finish with a proud smile.

“i’m not gonna play that game,” matthew replies with a frown. “besides, this house is huge! you’re gonna make me tear the whole thing up to find something that small? no way.”

“that’s too bad,” you say, shaking your head. “i guess they’re mine now.”

matthew groans. “at least make the playing field more reasonable.”

you tilt your head to the side, a devious plan entering your mind. “i think i can work with that.”

matthew sighs. “i can’t believe i’m entertaining this... but where are you thinking?”

“me,” you answer. “i’m thinking you can search me.”

“like, you’re gonna hide it on your person,” matthew clarifies, ears burning red. “like, in one of your pockets?”

“yeah, exactly,” you hum happily. “my pocket.”

matthew swallows nervously, purposefully avoiding your gaze. “that sounds too easy. there has to be a catch.”

“no catch. it’ll be in my pocket,” you confirm, extending your hand to him. “you just have to find the right one.”

matthew blinks at you, then at your hand. after a moment, he takes it in his own and shakes it. “fine. deal.”

“i’ll be back in a minute then,” you say, throwing open the door and running off to hide the airpods in one of your pockets.

—

“okay, so it’s not in your hoodie pockets,” matthew deduces after reaching a tentative hand in each one and coming up empty. “that means it’s in one of these pockets?”

you smile at him encouragingly as he blinks nervously at you, gesturing to your denim skirt.

“why are you making me do this?” matthew laments dramatically. “aren’t you, like… uncomfortable with me touching you and stuff?”

“not at all,” you reply with a smirk. “i do get a lot of enjoyment out of making you uncomfortable though.”

“so i gathered,” he says, starting to reach for one of your back pockets. “is it okay if i—.”

“just do it already,” you interject, rolling your eyes.

“okay, okay,” matthew says, reaching his hand down the pocket. “sue me for trying to be a gentleman.”

he pulls out his hand. it’s empty.

matthew reaches down your other back pocket, again finding nothing.

“should probably check the front,” you offer contentedly.

“thanks for the hint,” matthew huffs, walking back around to face you. cautiously, he sticks his fingers down your left, front pocket— moving them side to side before removing them. “are you f*cking with me? you didn’t even hide them, did you!?”

his rough tone sends another wave of excitement through you, but you force a little pout. “i can’t believe you think i wouldn’t play by the rules, matty.”

he sticks his fingers unceremoniously in the last pocket, coming up empty yet again. “then where the f*ck are they!?”

you tilt your head cutely, basically euphoric over how much you’re riling him up. “in my pocket.”

“i just looked through all your pockets! they’re not—…” matthew stops yelling, seemingly lost in thought before his eyes widen in total disbelief. “wait… you—… you don’t mean…”

“ding, ding, ding,” you reply with a malicious smirk. “you know, you’re smarter than you look.”

“you—… you put my airpods up your VAGINA!?” matthew yells: confused, horrified and impressed all at the same time.

you shrug. “i’ve had bigger.”

matthew is silent as you walk over to his bed and sit down, spreading your legs just a bit.

“well, the deal’s still on,” you offer, placing your hands behind you and leaning back onto them casually. “if you can find them, they’re yours.”

“you—… you want me to…” matthew stammers, eyes locked on your denim skirt. “to...”

“you don’t have to,” you assert, pulling up your skirt to reveal your bare core to him. his lips part, eyeing your center like it’s the forbidden fruit. and it kind of is. “if you don’t want to.”

“this is ridiculous,” matthew says breathily in a way that tells you that, though this may very well be a ridiculous thing to be happening right now, he’s a bit enticed by it all. he walks toward you, pushing you back a bit further onto the bed with one hand to expose your heat more. “this is absolutely f*cking…”

he kneels down on the hardwood floor between your legs, one hand finding each of your thighs and prying them further apart. he grabs your hips, pulling your naked core closer to his face. you hope he doesn’t notice you clench around his airpods at the man-handling.

matthew swallows hard as he examines every inch of you. scandalized eyes and bottom lip drawn between his teeth, you can basically hear his conflicting, depraved thoughts.

“i really hate you, you know that?” he asks rhetorically, licking his lips as your walls pulse again. he stuffs a finger up you suddenly, pushing it in further and further until he’s tapping on the case of his airpods. “if you’ve been looking for a reason that your whole family likes me better than you, i think both of our searches can end with this.”

the tiniest whimper escapes you at the degradation. it’s exactly what you’d been waiting for.

matthew looks up at you, knuckle-deep in your pussy. his lips part in shock at the sound. “did you--... did you just...”

“are you going to take it out, or what?” you reply, maintaining your rude, slightly bored disposition.

he looks back at your center, moving his finger to try to hook around the case and wiggle it out of you. it doesn’t budge. he inserts another finger into you, stretching your walls out in hopes that the case might come out with more space.

it stays put.

“it’s not coming out,” matthew says, panic in his eyes. “what did you do, gorilla glue it to your cervix?”

“i didn’t even know you knew that word,” you snort, averting his gaze. “i guess you’ll have to find a way to loosen it then.”

matthew’s eyes bulge. “and how the hell am i supposed to do that!?”

“hm, i dunno,” you muse, locking eyes with him again. “don’t they always say to put butter on your arm to make it slippery if it’s stuck in something?”

“you want me to put butter in your...” matthew trails off as he thinks more about your suggestion. “slippery?”

“yeah,” you reply with a nod, desperately trying to maintain your dominance. “you know, like... wet.”

“wet...” he repeats again, eyes meeting your cunt again. “you want me to make you... oh.”

“just a thought,” you shrug off.

matthew shakes his head quickly. “but, we can’t--... i can’t--”

“why can’t you?” you ask, tapping his bare chest with your toes. “oh, i remember now! it’s because you’re a f*cking marshmall--”

matthew’s hands grip your thighs roughly as he pulls your pussy even closer to his face. he licks a long, teasing stripe up through your folds-- ending and circling at your clit.

this time you don’t hide your moan.

“what was that?” matthew taunts, one eyebrow arching in amusement. “feel good?”

it does feel good-- better than you could’ve imagined matthew’s tongue would feel against you. you nod, moving your hips to try to push your core even closer to him. he slaps your right thigh hard, warning you wordlessly not to make a fuss. it just makes you need to fuss more, but he reattaches his tongue to your cunt anyway.

he laps at your clit with such dedication that you’re crying out within a couple of minutes-- begging him for more.

“pl--please,” you whine, hand running through his hair and pulling it from the base. “wanna cum on your tongue.”

“f*cking hell,” he moans into your core, the vibration sending more waves of pleasure through you. he closes his eyes as he starts to rhythmically suck on your bundle of nerves, only coming up for air to say, “how can you be so desperate with a pussy this perfect?”

“matty, i--”

“didn’t i tell you not to f*cking call me that,” he growls, inserting a finger into your now dripping cunt. “so this is what you wanted, huh? stole my airpods just so you could cum all over my fingers? you’re such a bad girl, (y/n).”

you’re right on the edge, just a few seconds more and you’ll be moaning matthew’s name like a prayer.

but then you feel it.

matthew’s finger latches around the now lubricated airpod case-- pulling it free from your warmest pocket as he detaches his lips from around your clit. you stare at him helplessly, the denial of your orgasm leaving you so frustrated you’re rendered speechless.

how could you have let him get the upper hand on you?

“but i guess you forgot,” he says with a smirk, standing up and walking toward the door. “bad girls don’t get to cum.”

you blink silently at him once. twice. matthew holds open the door, pointing into the hallway.

“now get out of my room.”

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thydungeongal · 4 months

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Hi there, I got started with ttrpgs after dnd 5e came out so I don't have any personal experience or strong opinions about 4e. Would you be willing to share some of the things that were different in that version that you enjoyed?

So okay with the caveat that there isn't a single edition of D&D I don't enjoy to some extent, this isn't really a "list of reasons why D&D 4e is objectively better than any edition of D&D ever," but more like "list of features of D&D 4e where I feel it distinguishes itself from other editions":

As much as D&D has always been a combat-focused game, where characters usually have to at some point rely on violence, D&D 4e is the one edition where combat has felt the most tactically engaging and where there are sometimes genuinely tough tactical decisions to be made. Part of the beauty of D&D 4e's combat is down to a very simple fact: combat isn't quite as swingy as in other editions, where a couple of lucky rounds can either make or break the combat in the characters' favor. If you lose in D&D 4e it's usually not the result of a single bad turn, but multiple turns' worth of bad decision-making and bad luck. There's nearly always a way for players to turn around a combat that's going badly. While I also enjoy the extremely lethal and swingy editions of old on the macro level, combat in them isn't as tactically satisfying as in 4e to me (but on the flipside, combat being very quick and dirty is definitely a benefit of those systems).

I genuinely feel that it does class balance better than any other edition of D&D. Class balance has always been tough in D&D: you've either had artificial balancing like "start Magic-Users weak and have them advance slower, but once they survive to higher levels they become extremely strong," or just poorly thought out "I guess one of the Druid's class features is having an extra character that's a bear and almost as strong as a Fighter, and the Druid can summon more bears while turned into a bear." That isn't to say that it's perfect: some classes had their growing pains (Warlocks weren't great to begin with, Avengers were good but not great) and some classes did outshine others (I'm not sure if this was ever the consensus, but I always got the vibe from discussions that Fighters were probably the best Defender), but it was very hard to build a character who could overwhelm an entire party or play rocket tag while everyone else was still playing D&D.

Many of the additions and changes to the lore and cosmology of D&D were welcome to me. I liked reframing the cosmic conflict as gods vs elemental primordials, as it felt like a return to the Law vs Chaos conflict of old. I liked the idea of devils as corrupted angels, punished for deicide, which also made them a great mirror to demons that in 4e were technically corrupted elementals! It basically turned the Blood War into a dark reflection of the ongoing conflict between order and chaos (as represented by the gods and the primordials)

The Warlord is such an amazing class. It is genuinely my favorite thing to come out of 4e, and the fact that it was never brought into 5e is actually the worst thing the designers of 5e ever did, even though they explicitly promised the return of every class that had ever been featured in the first PHB of the game.

Of all the WotC D&Ds it had the simplest and most intuitive action economy. Standard, Move, Minor. You get one of each. Standard action can be traded in for a Move or Minor action. Move action can be turned in for a Minor action. It's hilarious to me how simple it is and how 5e in trying to simplify it further by making movement something you have every turn by default and making bonus actions a separate thing ended up making the action economy more complex with its various if: then statements about when you're allowed to use a specific bonus action and how sometimes a bonus action you've used can limit the actions you can take.

#thydungeongal answers

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catladyoftheyr · 14 days

Text

Too Sweet (Ch 3)

Harvey x Reader

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2

Summary: picking up off last chapters cliffhanger and diving straight into Harvey’s 4 heart event. You resolve the conflict after the incident with George, Harvey gives you a checkup, and you two share a jar of pickles in his apartment. 💘🥒

Authors note: I know nothing about the Air Force I’m so sorry. It’s just for the plot and vibes. He needed a backstory!!

Word count: 1.7k! A longer chapter as a treat

“Harvey! Oh my god why are you here? Wait, no, I don’t mean it like that” the surprise visit from the doctor had you stumbling over your words. “You scared me. And I don’t actually think your mustache is stupid. I just… I was really embarrassed about what happened earlier.”

“I actually stopped by to thank you for backing me up earlier. George can be stubborn, so I’m glad you got him to listen to you.” The doctor averted eye contact and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Do you mind if I join you?”

“Oh uhhh, sure. How much of what I said did you hear by the way?” You hoped silently that he hadn’t heard you call him cute, especially since you’d been talking to a chicken.Harvey slid down and sat next to you on the floor of the coop.

“Just the part where you insulted my mustache,” he replied, stroking his own facial hair. “The farm is coming along nicely. You must be very dedicated to make such a turn around in such a short time.”

Oh thank Yoba you thought to yourself. “Thank you. I guess I’m trying to make up for lost time; I want to honor Grandpa’s memory because he loved this farm and the community. I used to spend a couple weeks here in the summer when I was growing up. I haven’t been back to the valley since I was a teenager. I didn’t think Lewis would recognize me when I came back.” You laughed quietly, an image of you as a gawky adolescent with braces coming back to you

“About earlier, we can put that behind us if you’d like. I didn’t mean to be short with you either. I was startled so I apologize for being curt.” Harvey looked at you with a kind expression before rising from the floor. “I’d like for us to be on good terms going forward.” He extended his hand and helped you up.

———————————————————————————

The bell on the door chimed as you walked in and Harvey’s head poked up from his paperwork. “Hey! Just the person I wanted to see today actually.”

“Oh?”

“I was about to write you a letter recommending that you schedule your annual checkup. If you don’t mind, I’ve got time today actually for a cursory exam.” Truthfully you weren’t very fond of hospitals, or doctor’s appointments. But you were also a terrible liar and had no time to think of an excuse. Better just to get it over with, you supposed.

“I can make it work.” You set the jar of pickles aside temporarily and followed Harvey to an exam room. You sat down on the paper, uncomfortable with the sudden formal shift in your dynamic. You’d gone from friend to patient in a matter of minutes. Harvey placed his stethoscope just under the collar of your shirt and you flinched at the touch of the cold metal.

“Sorry it’s chilly,” Harvey said. “Your heart rate is a little high. Do hospitals make you nervous?” He asked with a slight furrow in his brow.

“A little bit” you admitted. It certainly didn’t help that this was the most physical contact the two of you had shared since you met. He placed his hand on your shoulder and your eyes met. You felt your palms start sweating.

“Take a deep breath for me please” you did as instructed and tried to focus on anything else but the feeling of his hand on you. “Your lungs sound strong.” Harvey was in his element as he checked off the boxes of a routine checkup. He tested your reflexes, examined your ears and eyes, writing down his observations on his clipboard. “So far you seem to be in good health. I just have a few more questions about your lifestyle”

“Ask away, Doc.” Harvey seemed slightly flustered at the nickname but made a quick recovery. He pushed his glasses back up his nose and stood up straighter, clearing his throat

“As I was saying. Working on the farm involves a fair amount of physical labor I assume, so I’m sure you get enough exercise. What do you usually eat in a day?”

“Oh I usually just eat the foragables I find around the valley. There’s a lot of leeks and wild onions out now. I saw a weird looking berry the other day and I ate a couple of those. Sometimes I eat eggs from the chickens, or buy something from Gus for dinner.” Harvey was visibly stressed as he absorbed the information you gave him.

“I would highly advise that you eat a more balanced diet. Foraging is fine as a snack but it won’t provide enough energy for your activity levels. Eggs are good, but I’d implore you to try and eat from all the food groups”

“So this probably isn’t a great time to say I also eat the algae I find in the mines?” You’d never seen the poor doctor so stressed; you imagined most of his patients weren’t quite as odd as you.

“Let’s move on. How much sleep do you get at night?”

“6ish, sometimes less, sometimes more”

“Well, 8 hours a night is recommended but 6 isn’t terrible I suppose. But I’d encourage you to try and find a healthier routine. Farming is labor intensive and if you don’t give your body the care it needs you won’t be able to keep up sooner or later.” He had a look of genuine worry in his eyes and it pulled at your heartstrings. You’d only known each other for several months, but you sensed the beginning of a deep connection.

“I’ll try to be better,” you replied softly. You weren’t used to being chastised, but you understood he meant well.

“Thank you. You’re free to go and have an official clean bill of health from me”

“Well I stopped by to ask a favor actually”

“Oh?”

“I was wondering if you’d do me the honors of being the very first taste tester of my first batch of farm fresh pickles” you grinned and gestured toward the door “I left them on the counter.” Harvey smiled back and held the door open for you.

“I’d be honored. I’m actually about to close up for the day, would you like to come upstairs?”

The two of you headed upstairs to the small apartment above the clinic. Furniture was sparse and well loved, and there was a small kitchenette off the main room. The back wall held a large bookshelf that boasted an assortment of books and some small trinkets. Another shelf was lined carefully with model planes. There was a radio station in the corner by the window. “It’s not much, but it’s home,” Harvey said sheepishly.

“It’s great” you replied, eyes scanning the room with eagerness. You were itching to learn more about him. You took a seat on his small sofa, your heart nearly skipping a beat when he sat next to you, his knee inches away from yours. “You can have the first one” you offered, extending the open pickle jar toward Harvey.

“Don’t mind if I do.” Harvey reached in and plucked out a particularly large pickle before biting into it. His eyes lit up as he tasted it. “This is delicious! You’ve really never made pickles before?” You shook your head. “Well you certainly have a knack for it.” You grabbed a pickle for yourself and were pleasantly surprised at how good they were. You were glad he wasn’t lying to spare your feelings.

“What’s with the planes?” You saw Harvey get a far off look on his face while he thought about his response

“I’ve always been fascinated by aviation. I did a stint in the Air Force years ago. I wanted to become a pilot but it didn’t pan out. It ended up paying for my med school tuition though. The model planes are something I like to do in my free time. I find them relaxing, and they remind me of my time in service.”

“I would have never guessed that. Pilots and doctors are pretty different. What led you down this path?”

“I think I’ve always had an affinity for helping people. I joined the Air Force to serve my country; this feels like a way to serve the community in a different way.”

“That’s actually really selfless.” You toyed with images of Harvey in uniform as you reached for another pickle, not realizing that Harvey had the same idea. Your hands met in the rim of the jar and you flinched back instinctively. The small touch left you wanting more. You adjusted your legs slightly, tentatively letting one fall against his. Harvey made no effort to break contact.

“Tell me more about yourself. You said you explore the mines. Are there really monsters in there?”

“There are! I haven’t made it down very far but there’s all kinds of creatures down there.” You animatedly described the things you’d encountered on your adventures: colorful slimes, stealthy rock crabs, large buzzing insects, agile bats and more. Harvey looked on with a mixture of awe and fear.

His voice grew soft as he spoke “please be careful in the mines. I’d hate to see you get hurt.” Suddenly it was as if a switch had gone off in his mind and he got up from the couch. “Wait here one second!” He bolted across the studio and down the stairs. You heard rummaging from below before Harvey emerged again holding an armful of various medicines and first aid supplies. “Take these.” He thrusted the bundle of supplies into your arms.

“Harvey I can’t just take these from you. These are expensive” you insisted, trying to hand them back to him. A roll of gauze unraveled on the floor. Harvey plucked it from the ground and placed it on a table.

“Nonsense. Consider it part of your checkup.” He looked you in the eyes with a pleading expression. “Please take them. And promise me you’ll keep them with you in the mines”

“I promise.”

#my writing #harvey fluff #harvey x farmer #sdv fanfic #stardew fanfiction #stardew valley fanfic #harvey stardew valley #stardew valley fanfiction #harvey x reader

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cheegu3 · 6 months

Text

Enhypen - the glory (part 11, finale)

summary; after rejecting one of the most popular boys at your new school, you soon realised that you'd done the gravest mistake of your life; these weren't ordinary boys, and now they were set on making your life a living hell - heavily based on the kdrama with the same name

warnings; yandere themes, kidnapping, domestic violence, sexual assault accusation,

genre; yandere

wc; 10k

pairing; enha x f.m reader

note; longer note at the very end, thank you so much for reading and going on this journey with me for my full-length series, love u !!🤍🤍

masterlist

You remained frozen in your spot until the car's sound slowly disappeared. What broke you out of your trance was the raspy, struggling breaths that came from the floor a few meters away.

It took a long time to unglue your shoes from the hardwood floor; it felt like you were stuck to it and would stay like that forever, unable to move out of fear. When you eventually succeeded, you turned bit by bit to face Jake.

His sluggish eyes had never left you. They were begging silently for you to make a choice - save him or leave him?

It seemed like he had already guessed what you would choose. More fresh tears slowly slid down his paling skin and his eyes finally looked away when he started sniffling again.

You watched him, feeling very conflicted on the inside. You wondered if he felt bad for everything he had done, if he would change if you saved him, or if he would continue the same way as before.

There was also some fear on your part. Why were you hesitating about a life? It was your bully, but it was still another person like you. Playing God wasn’t something that was right, was it?

So why did you want him to die? All you saw when looking at the writhing, pathetic struggling human on the floor was Jake; you couldn’t see another person who deserved to be saved, who was empathetic and kind and sweet.

And that scared you. What would Soobin think of you if you told him that? He had already expressed how he thought you were changing. This wasn’t like you. The old you would’ve rushed to call an ambulance, heart drumming in your chest with adrenaline and panic at the thought of someone dying in front of you and knowing you could’ve changed the outcome.

But the new you? Didn’t feel much when looking at him except for very small pity. He hadn’t even betrayed his friends yet he would get killed by them - the ones he probably cherished and trusted most. The worst part was how Jungwon hadn’t even hesitated. Nothing was behind those eyes when he delivered a killing blow to his best friend of years.

Just like the tears running down Jake’s face, you were aware of time running out. Then, you made a choice.

You walked out just in time to see the ambulance near in the distance - technically you hadn’t saved him, but you gave him and God the choice of whether to survive the trip to the hospital…or not.

You refused to change into a heartless person. That wasn’t who you were no matter how much they’d hurt you.

*******

You had three days to think of something. Three days was a very long time in a case like this, but also not enough time.

Standing out in the cold you watched the ambulance leave and took out your phone. No taxis would come out to that place especially not at that hour. So you did the only thing you could think of - call your dad.

‘’ Y/n! Oh, I was so worried about you. ‘’

You scoffed, ‘’ Yeah, right. I need you to do me a favor, it’s the least you can do after going behind my back. ‘’

‘’ Okay…what do you want me to do? ‘’

‘’ Come get me. I’m at Soobin’s cabin which is about an hour or two from the city. I’ll text you the address. ‘’

You hung up before hearing his answer. Being curt and stern would probably make him more likely to do it since he could feel you keeping a distance and being cold. Maybe he thought you’d soften if he followed through, but he couldn’t be more wrong.

Waiting for your dad took too long, so you hesitantly turned back towards the cabin again. You wanted to go back, bask in the warmth, and maybe even rest since you had rejected sleep many times during the long day. However, the closer you got to the cabin, the more your brain started showing the scenes that would await you if you entered; the blood and the memories accompanying it.

Before you had even made up your mind, your feet seemed to have dragged you to the door on their own. Taking a deep breath first, you then pressed down the handle and pushed it open.

You didn’t step in yet and your eyes had been squeezed shut. It was between the cold winter outside and the potential murder scene inside.

You opened your eyes. Instinctively they went to the pool on the floor, but you forced yourself to look away. The door was now locked and you went to the second floor, too uncomfortable to sleep on the first since that’s where the events unfolded.

Then you waited; tossed and turned while waiting both for your dad and for your body to fall asleep. It was hard. The house was eerily quiet, to the point you could hear every single creak the wood made when the wind grazed the cabin.

Eventually, the exhaustion won over the paranoia. Your head fell back against the soft mattress and you slept soundly, looking more peaceful than when awake, and you continued to do so until your dad found you.

Just like when you were a kid, you were carried to the car. You woke up due to the sound of the rain pattering against the roof, but quickly fell asleep again with a smile on your face as you thought of how happy it would’ve made Soobin if he knew you finally got some rest.

*******

You woke up the next day feeling restless and antsy. You felt like you had no one to turn to and get support from or conjure up a plan with. Right then it looked like you’d spend the three days becoming more and more mentally tortured as the time was running out.

Then you’d probably show up at the doorstep, no plan or defense; you’d surrender and hope for the best - that they’d let you and most importantly Soobin go, unharmed.

Slowly you rolled out of bed. Like always when getting dressed, you avoided looking in the mirror and if you did, you never let your eyes drift to the ugly scars. If you did, it was almost like it triggered the pain all over again. Your arms would start to itch terribly, and you could feel the burning spreading like wildfire all throughout your body again.

The door opened and since you had put on your clothes already, you dared to look at the door through the mirror. You saw your dad peeking in, an ingenuine smile on his face. Then you caught a glimpse of yourself too, you looked so tired and like you’d been drained of life and happiness. You supposed it was true, you couldn’t wait for it all to be over, for you to finally get peace again.

‘’ Going to school today? ‘’

You were about to glare at him, but then your frowned forehead softened. You had nothing better to do anyway, so why not go? Would they actually go to school when they were busy holding a hostage at one of their houses? You doubted it. They had never cared much about education anyway.

You grunted at him and when he left you packed your backpack full of the books you had neglected. When you’d get to school, you feared that the teachers would question you about why your grades had been falling and why you didn’t do your homework.

Aware of the fact that exams were coming up soon you had considered studying with Soobin. The circumstances just never seemed right. New things, new burdens always seemed to pop up, leaving little room for ordinary things.

You left, walking past your dad wordlessly, and then ran to the bus, almost missing it by a few seconds. The universe must’ve really wanted you to go to school today. The bus was pretty much empty. You took a seat near the back of it and rested against the window.

The whole ride, you had your eyes closed, in between sleeping and being awake all the way until arriving at school. Pushing past the other students you managed to be one of the first ones out. You hurried to walk to the school, up the stairs, and finally to the classroom. The less people, the less anxiety.

Only when you sat down in your seat could you relax. Soon enough the room filled as more students streamed in and took their own seats. The spot where they sat were empty. You looked out to the corridor and didn’t see them there either, but who you did see however was Jiyun.

She didn’t return your wave or smile. She just continued walking, her head down so she couldn’t see you.

You grimaced and felt very offended. Sure, you hadn’t expected to make a friend, but you had at least thought she’d be polite. What was even weirder was that as you kept following her with your eyes through the glass facing the hallway, she turned quite abruptly and walked right into your classroom.

You cowered back, cautious of her unpredictable and almost erratic behavior. Walking right up to you, she looked determined. She leaned in and whispered in your ear.

‘’ Come with me to the library. ‘’

Jiyun saw how your eyebrows raised, forehead frowning when you weren’t immediately convinced, ‘’ Why? ‘’

‘’ Just, please. Do me a favor! ‘’

You stood up and followed her reluctantly out of the classroom and into the library that was on the same floor. It was empty because all the students were waiting for the first class to start. Jiyun found your hand at some point and dragged you through the maze of the bookshelves.

Stopping at the corner at the very far end from the entrance, she finally turned to you. Something flashed across her face; guilt, sadness or was it pity?

Your gaze started flickering, ‘’ Jiyun, what are we doing here? ‘’

‘’ I’m sorry. ‘’

You watched in confusion as she started unbuttoning the first buttons of her shirt, she threw the fabric off of half of her shoulder with so much force it almost ripped. Then she pulled out her ponytail but not all the way, followed by smearing some of her makeup.

‘’ Jiyun? ‘’ your voice grew more concerned, more exasperated.

No response. She picked up a book and you gasped as she hit it hard against her face. You tried to pull it out of her hands and were instead met with a slap to your face.

‘’ I have to do this. ‘’

‘’ What…’’

You ignored her and tried to reach for the book again that she had managed to hit herself with more times since you were distracted by the stinging feeling on your cheek. Fear could be felt in the pit of your stomach as things were slowly starting to get pieced together.

Red marks had formed on her face now, sure to be big bruises in a day or two. When she noticed you moving towards her in the corner of her eye, she gave you an apologetic look before kicking you hard in your stomach. You fell over and groaned, clutching your stomach and gasping for air.

‘’ Stand up. ‘’

You managed to get to a standing position with the help of the closest bookshelves that you could claw yourself up with. She looked completely disheveled when you turned to her. You were about to ask again - why are we here, why are you doing this?

Before you could, she had already turned again, heading right for the hallway. You started to follow her but were left frozen in your spot. A loud shriek ripped from Jiyun’s throat. She fell to her knees in the middle of the hall and sobbed loudly.

People ran out of the classrooms wondering what all the noise was about and quickly the space had been filled to max capacity. One girl crouched down next to her while a teacher cleared a way to get through.

‘’ What happened? ‘’

‘’ She-sh, she hurt me! ‘’

You stared at her in bewilderment, until it turned to despair and you felt a stomach-dropping feeling when with a shaky hand she pointed at you. All heads turned to you, but you only had eyes for Jiyun on the floor.

Betrayal…again? However, can you really betray someone if you never had any loyalty to them?

The panic flared up inside your body. You took a few steps back towards the people, eyes wide and filled to the brim with tears.

‘’ Y/n? What did she do? ‘’ the teacher said behind your turned back.

‘’ She hit me….she al-always bullies me and sometimes she, ‘’ Jiyun faked a hiccup in the middle of her even faker crying, ‘’ She touches…’’ her voice died out and it had the dramatic effect she must’ve hoped for.

The crowd gasped and next they murmured about how they had noticed how her clothes looked like they’d been roughly handled. You didn’t look at any of them. You knew they had already collectively decided to condemn you and believe Jiyun instead.

‘’ Y/n, is this true? ‘’

Your throat felt dry, too dry to even speak. You tried clearing it, but it almost caused you to feel like you couldn’t breathe and kickstart a panic attack so you shook your head. First gently and then more violently, almost until you got dizzy.

‘’ Come with me to my office, ‘’ she sternly said.

You felt her hand wrap around your arm in a tough hold. You were dragged past the people whose words hurt you almost physically as well as mentally. After hearing all that they said, you ended up in the chair in front of her desk with an expressionless look on your face.

You felt empty. There was barely any room for anger; it was more of an acceptance that had come after the initial horror. It was them. They were behind this 100%, and it was what Jiyun had warned you of in the bathroom.

You scoffed sarcastically. You never would’ve done that to another student, even if it meant them going even harder on you, even if it meant more burn marks. She had sold herself easily.

‘’ Is this funny to you, y/n? ‘’

It wasn’t the fact that you had slipped up and forgotten where you were and what situation you were in. It was more that you had hit rock bottom, who gives a fuck attitude?

‘’ I’m going to have to call your parents. And, ‘’ she slid a pile of papers across the desk.

‘’ You will be suspended immediately. Leave your badge and all other belongings at the check-in area. ‘’

You threw your head back, ‘’ Of course. ‘’

‘’ Excuse me? ‘’

‘’ You won’t even let me defend myself. It’s just guilty until proven innocent, hm? ‘’

‘’ We have received more reports from other students claiming to have witnessed similar events, ‘’ the teacher irritably shot back.

‘’ And let me guess, their names are Jungwon, Heeseung, Ni-ki, Sunoo, Jake, Sunghoon, and Jay, right? ‘’

Even with your eyes closed, the lack of response was a response in itself. You smiled while looking at the ceiling and crossed your arms nonchalantly.

‘’ Well fuck you guys then. This has always been a shit and unfair school who have done nothing when it came to defending me. But you’re always so eager to please these kids born with silver spoons in their mouths, fucking hypocrites. ‘’

The teacher gasped and you heard the others in the room stand up to see who the disrespectful student was. You turned and didn’t look back. You meant every word you said and you had waited so long to say it.

They wanted this to crush you and sure, it had made you finally lose it. But for the future, if you won the fight this was a blessing in disguise.

*******

After coming home, your dad bothered you with a lot of questions which you ignored completely. The door was slammed in his face like usual and he stared at the wood with regret and shame again, wondering why his daughter refused to talk to him even though he was trying so hard.

That night, you slept well. You cried yourself to sleep, letting everything you had been keeping in for who knows how long, just get out. It felt like a huge burden had been taken off your shoulders, you felt lighter and slept like a baby.

The next morning, you had a plan in mind - to see your mom at the hospital and then Yeonjun. You technically had two more days left but since you didn’t have a school to go to anymore and Yeena was unreachable, these were the two things you wanted to do the most.

The staff at the hospital gave you dirty looks when you told them your name and said why you were there. Walking past some while taking the elevator, you caught a few words here and there. They seemed to judge you, calling you a bad daughter for not visiting when your mom had been there for so long.

You didn’t care. It was a private hospital that treated snobby, rude, and probably at some times undeserving rich people. It was no wonder the staff would be similar. With a head held high, you stepped into the elevator and flashed them a smile. They turned away and looked uncomfortable.

‘’ Your mom’s room is on the 16th floor. In the VIP section. ‘’ you saw in the mirrors on the walls how they looked you up and down.

‘’ Did you pay for this? ‘’

‘’ No. ‘’

They didn’t ask any more questions and just led you to the room, leaving afterward to give you some privacy. Your mom looked more vibrant than the last time you had seen her.

Sitting on her bed, she was looking out of the window at the beautiful view. Her cheeks looked less hollow like she had gained some weight and her skin looked less pale.

‘’ Hi, mom. ‘’

Her head whipped around and her face lit up, ‘’ Y/n! I’ve been waiting for you. ‘’

You sat down on her bed and let her pull you into her arms. She kissed the top of your head and rubbed your back as if you were the one who was sick.

‘’ How have you been, honey? ‘’

‘’ It’s okay. Not much has changed since last time. ‘’

She looked concerned and you felt bad for letting a frown form on her warm face so you leaned into her touch and smiled comfortingly.

‘’ It’s fine mom, I’m doing well. ‘’

‘’ And Soobin? ‘’

You hesitated, ‘’ What about him? ‘’

‘’ Is he doing well? Last time I saw you two, you were hiding from someone. ‘’

‘’ He’s…fine too. They weren’t anyone important mom, stop worrying. ‘’

She nodded and leaned back. Her eyes were still set on the horizon outside, the big skyscrapers outside accompanying it.

‘’ I like it here, ‘’ your mom sighed contently, ‘’ But I want to go outside with my daughter. ‘’

Your smile turned sorrowful. ‘’ One day. One day soon we will do that. ‘’

Only a half-smile pulled at the corners of her lips.

‘’ Do you really think so, honey? ‘’

‘’ Of course, ‘’ a tear rolled down your cheek.

‘’ I would take you to that park near our old house, the one you used to play so much in. Do you remember it? ‘’

The sheets ruffled as you angled your head to look at her. The light shining through the windows made her look so much like an angel, just like it; she beamed with hope, love, and warmth.

‘’ I do. ‘’

‘’ You didn’t have many friends so mommy always played with you ‘’ she looked at you when the fond memory came to mind, ‘’ But what did I always tell you? ‘’

‘’ There’s nothing wrong with being alone in this world, ‘’ you whispered thickly, holding back more tears from spilling.

Although it was a sweet memory for your mom. You had always suppressed it because it always reminded you of the grim future that followed that moment. Nothing changed. Ever since birth you had, had few by your side. Never did you fit in, never did you have genuine friends. Never understood, never loved.

You buried your face into your mom’s hospital gown. She hummed and put her arm around you to bring you closer. You stayed like that for a while, just relaxing under her wings.

When it was time to go, you looked back at her one last time and promised to visit soon with Soobin by your side. You hoped that the next time you’d see her would be the day of her discharge.

*******

You knocked on the door before you changed your mind and turned around. The sound almost made the silence after seem even more deafening than before. No movement could be heard on the other side so slowly you turned, ready to leave disappointed.

‘’ Y/n, is that you? ‘’ a weak voice mumbled, stopping you in your tracks.

You stared back at the door in disbelief. It had been so quiet that you were questioning if you’d imagined it or not.

‘’ Yeonjun? ‘’

The lock clicked and the door creaked open. It revealed Yeonjun who looked like he’d been through hell. Not only did he have dark circles under his eyes, disheveled hair and was wearing the same clothes he was when you saw him last; but, you could also see all the trash in the back. It looked like he had purposefully ruined his room.

Papers, books, clothes, all laid crumpled up or torn on the floor, right next to the bags of snacks and cans of drinks.

‘’ How- ‘’ you licked your lips, unsure of what to say. ‘’ How…are you doing? ‘’

He chuckled sarcastically, ‘’ What does it look like? ‘’

You chewed on your lips.

‘’ I’m sorry. About everything, and I should’ve come to check up on you sooner. ‘’

Yeonjun stared at you for some seconds in silence. Then he nodded, a fake smile ghosting over his lips briefly before he went back to looking sullen.

‘’ How’s Soobin? ‘’

He must’ve noticed your hesitance because his eyes suddenly widened, looking a lot more interested and lively than earlier.

‘’ Has he hurt him? ‘’

‘’ Jungwon? No, I don’t think so, ‘’ you truthfully said.

‘’ Then what? ‘’

‘’ Soobin brought me to your cabin. I- um…came up with the idea to bring Jake there, luring him and making him give us some information. ‘’

He crossed his arms, making you speak faster in nervousness.

‘’ Well, things went wrong. Jungwon stabbed Jake- ‘’ his mouth opened and his eyebrows twitched. ‘’ Then they took Soobin when they left and told me they’ll give me three days. ‘’

‘’ Before what? ‘’

‘’ Not really sure. I think they were threatening to hurt Soobin. ‘’

His tongue poked the inside of his cheek and you cowered away, ready to get yelled at. Again, he stayed quiet. It was a bit different from the first time you’d met him when he was confident and replied rapidly and sharply. Now he seemed to need some time to think over what to say.

Or calm himself. You finally dared to look at him after he was silent for a few minutes and to your horror, you noticed his hands were shaking.

‘’ Yeon- ‘’

‘’ None of this would’ve happened if you just listened to me from the beginning. ‘’

You didn’t raise your voice even if you felt like his harsh words were unfair. There was some truth to them. You could’ve still been friends with Soobin without dragging him into the mess. He nagged you about how little you were sleeping, while he himself looked tired all the time. Yet, his face would light up any time he saw you and he was ready to drop everything to help you.

You didn’t deserve him. Hot tears filled your eyes, making Yeonjun turn blurry. You turned your head away in shame, ‘’ I’ll get him back, ‘’ you mumbled before walking away.

He didn’t stop you. It seemed like you were alone in the fight again. It was then and there that you made the rash decision. Your feet moved on their own, bringing you to another doorstep.

You rang the doorbell and waited. It took some time for the door to be answered. A lot of noises came from the other side but around three minutes passed before someone actually opened it.

A familiar face greeted you, ‘’ You’re here already? ‘’

You nodded, not having any energy to smile and certainly no energy to hear any mocking. Thankfully it was Sunoo who opened the door, with a curious Ni-ki standing just a step away.

‘’ Are you…okay? ‘’ the taller male asked. ‘’ You don’t look so good. ‘’

You were swaying from foot to foot, deeply affected by the conversation with Yeonjun. Your eyes barely grazed over the two boys, they kept wandering aimlessly.

‘’ Will you let him go if I come in? ‘’

‘’ Yes, ‘’ Ni-ki hurried to press out before Sunoo answered.

He moved to the side and you walked in, again without looking back. Hands reached for your jacket and you let them take it off without a fight. One, or both of them put their arms around you, you think it was Ni-ki, while Sunoo held your hand instead.

They lead you through the familiar living room and kitchen, finally ending up in the garden. At the end of the garden, Sunghoon stood by some rose bushes. He raised his eyebrow when he spotted the three of you, a smile tugging at his lips.

‘’ It hasn’t even been three days. ‘’

‘’ I know, ‘’ you weakly said, ‘’ When can I see Soobin? ‘’

‘’ I will take you to him now. ‘’

He turned and Ni-ki and Sunoo let go of you. Instead, you followed Sunghoon who seemed to disappear into the bushes when he took a step forward. You blinked in confusion, not sure what to do. A small scream erupted from you when you were tugged forward by the arm.

On the other side of the bush was an entrance to a bunker. You looked at Sunghoon who gladly boasted, ‘’ We all have a bunker in our backyards, in case enemies come. ‘’

You hummed, obediently climbing down first when he opened it for you. Of course the rich would be saved first in case of an emergency. You scoffed scornfully under your breath.

It was a very big bunker that looked fit for a family like Jungwon’s. The first section was a long hallway and it had different doors which you assumed were bedrooms for every family member and more.

Sunghoon led you through the tight hall into an opening in the middle before the hallways continued. It was a leisure room; beanbags, a pool table, a boxing machine, and even a TV with controllers that Heeseung and Jay were playing with were there.

Jungwon sat a bit away from the other two, on a beanbag in the corner pressed against the wall. He watched them but didn’t engage and because his seat was facing the entrance to the hallway, he was the first to notice you coming.

He looked surprised. His eyebrows raised and his mouth opened when he stood up, ‘’ It hasn’t been three days. ‘’ he echoed what Sunghoon had said.

‘’ I know. I didn’t have anything to do, ‘’ you shrugged casually.

He must’ve thought you were stupid. Heeseung and Jay looked over their shoulders to glance at you briefly and then turned back almost instantly to their game. Jungwon however, crossed his arms and tilted his head, a frown had formed on his face.

‘’ You had nothing to do? That’s it? ‘’

You nodded, determined to pretend like you weren’t about to faint from the fear. It was best to act like you were completely nonchalant and unfazed by what you had witnessed him doing not that long ago.

His frown turned into a joyous smirk, ‘’ Did you go to school? ‘’

‘’ Yes. ‘’

Your head turned when Heeseung chuckled darkly. He didn’t turn around so you all watched his back, waiting for him to say something.

‘’ And? Did you have fun? ‘’ he drawled.

‘’ Yes, ‘’ you said, this time a bit more hesitant.

‘’ Were you expelled? ‘’ Jay chimed in.

You didn’t answer this time, but judging by their shared looks and smiles on their faces, they knew.

‘’ I’ll show you where you will sleep. ‘’

‘’ Sleep? ‘’

You stared after Jungwon who walked down the other hallway. He didn’t stop and say anything, he only turned once he had reached the end and opened a door. You ran there because he looked very impatient.

It was a small room, about the size of a prison cell. It was cozier than one though, with a proper bed and a desk but it didn’t have much else in it. Covers and blankets were on the bed. The walls were blank and empty, void of any personality.

‘’ Why do I get my own room? ‘’

Jungwon seemed amused, ‘’ I guess it will take some while to release Soobin. In the meantime, you’ll be here, with us. ‘’

‘’ No! That was not part of the plan at all, ‘’ your voice got louder.

‘’ Maybe not yours. ‘’

He started stalking towards you, making the only space that was furthest away from him the bed. You crawled back on it, all the way until your back hit the wall. Your hands tried to push him away and even claw at his exposed forearms.

He was still indifferent, only looking down at you after having crawled on top with a dissatisfied look on his face. That same look - like you were just a disobedient child.

He groaned when your foot temporarily had some room to move and you pulled your leg up to knee him in between his legs. It didn’t really have the effect you wanted it to. Instead of pulling away, he knew what you were trying to do and fell forward, putting all of his weight on you instead.

You huffed as you tried to lift him off of you to get away but it was impossible, he didn’t move an inch. Into the crook of your neck, you felt his hot breath on your skin as he laughed. It was followed by a clicking sound and something cold and tight around your wrists.

You moved them but they weren’t able to move very far, something clinked when you pulled them too far away. When Jungwon finally drew away from you and laid on the bed, you realized he had handcuffed you to the bed.

‘’ Jungwon! Uncuff me now you- bitch! ‘’ you growled at him.

He gave you one final look of cockiness and amusement before turning his back on you and ignoring your screams and insults. You kicked against the blankets like a little child and screamed your throat hoarse.

‘’ No, no! Don’t you dare leave me here! ‘’

The only response you got was the sound of the door closing and the key turning in the lock. It stilled you completely. You stopped fighting and relaxed, knowing that energy should be saved for later.

Staring at the ceiling now you began to regret your decision. It was too impulsive and not at all thought through. You hadn’t even considered that they might stop you from leaving. You sighed and closed your eyes, which made your thoughts redirect to Soobin. Why wouldn’t they just let him go? When you imagined him confined to a small room like this somewhere down there, you almost started to cry out of guilt. Whatever they’d ask of you to let Soobin go, you’d do it, without a doubt.

*******

Sometime after laying there and just daydreaming about past memories and the future again, you fell asleep. When you woke up you had no idea what time it was since the room had no windows.

You could hear noises coming from the wall next to your bed so you shuffled closer to it and put your ear against it. The sounds became clearer. Was that someone crying?

‘’ Hello? ‘’

It became quiet. Then, you heard something moving on the other side. A voice made you jump in surprise, ‘’ Is that you? ‘’

‘’ Jake? ‘’ you breathed, ‘’ You-you’re alive? ‘’

He giggled, maybe detecting the small concern in your voice, ‘’ Yes, thanks to you. ‘’

You opened and closed your mouth a few times, not sure what to say. Jake continued talking to take the burden from you.

‘’ I got here yesterday after getting treated at the hospital. They said it wasn’t too bad. ‘’

‘’ Why would you come here after they stabbed you? ‘’

‘’ Well…I thought they had taken you. I wanted to help you, return the favor and stuff. ‘’

‘’ But it didn’t go well I’m guessing? ‘’

‘’ No. Clearly not, ‘’ he said jokingly, ‘’ They didn’t accept me back but thankfully they didn’t kill me either. ‘’

You weren’t sure why you asked the next question or why you even cared, but it was like he made you feel pity for him. Like this wasn’t the same guy that had bullied you.

‘’ Have they been giving you food? ‘’

Jake didn’t see it as you being kind and thoughtful, he thought you were concerned for your own health, ‘’ Yeah. They give us food if you’re worried about that. Water too. ‘’

You hummed, chewing on your lip.

‘’ How will we get out? ‘’

‘’ I’m not sure we will, y/n. ‘’

Neither of you said anything after that. The words felt heavy; enough so that it sent both of you into deep thought. You stared at the ceiling again, there wasn’t much to do in there anyway.

Just then, someone knocked on your door. They didn’t listen for a response and you waited anxiously as it unlocked and was pushed open. Heeseung stepped in with a tray of food and a bottle of water.

Jay peeked in for a moment and then disappeared again, shortly being replaced by the face of Sunoo. You rolled over on your side, feeling horrendously like a zoo animal.

‘’ Hey, princess. ‘’

Heeseung sat crosslegged by the bed and opened the water. Despite your body language protesting, he helped you sit upright and poured water into your mouth. Your eyes drifted from your bully to the tray of food he had placed on the bed.

He snickered when he noticed it and brought it forward. Taking some chopsticks he loaded food into your mouth which you gladly took even though you were dying on the inside from humiliation.

And that was it. Once the food was eaten and the water drunken, he left and locked the room again. You stared wide-eyed at the door after. Were they doing it on purpose? Limiting social interactions to use it as a tool? You would’ve thought they’d be eager to talk to you now that they had you all for themselves, out of sight of everyone else.

Like on the bus, you remained between sleeping and being conscious again; occasionally turning your head towards the wall where Jake was on the other side and then staring at the door.

The next time the door opened, you assumed it was nighttime. Jay had been the one tasked with giving you food and water instead of Heeseung, but you still saw Sunoo in the background. He came in fully and sat on the foot of the bed. His eyes carried compassion and guilt in them, which were trained on you the whole time you let Jay feed you.

‘’ What time is it? How long have I been here? ‘’

You tried initiating a conversation to test your theory of them purposefully avoiding talking to you for too long. Jay stopped his movements. He looked annoyed and almost glared at you.

‘’ Hours. ‘’

‘’ How many? ‘’

You were ignored. Not even begging silently to Sunoo helped you. He stood up which caught the attention of Heeseung and Sunghoon who had now also joined your room, although only in the doorway.

At the sound of shuffling footsteps behind him, Jay’s head snapped around. Sunoo stared back, a fearful expression on his face as he met the slight glare his friend directed toward him.

Their temper had always been short when it came to Sunoo. No one got scolded or watched as closely as he did. He never contributed anything to plans, he was more dragged along and forced to submit.

‘’ Where are you going? ‘’ Heeseung’s low voice warned.

He felt uncomfortable under the spotlight. All of you had your eyes on him, watching him closely; inspecting him, maybe even judging him. A grimace took over his fear, he instead felt rather pathetic.

But at the same time, Sunoo had more reason to be afraid of them now. They had killed Jake for stepping out of line, and he was terrified they’d do the same to him.

‘’ I-I was just- ‘’

‘’ Just leave, ‘’ Sunghoon waved him off, and the almost disgusted scowl on his face was hard to miss.

You released the breath you didn’t know you’d been holding in when he turned back again. What did they want? And what were they going to do? Not knowing was somehow worse than if you knew they would hurt you next, at least then you could prepare. It reminded you of the gym, that first time they had pressed the hot iron against your skin.

You had no clue what would happen when you walked into that room, similar to how you’d felt when you walked into Jungwon’s house, and every single time they stepped into your room so far.

Do they want to talk this time, taunt you, just see you, make a deal, kiss you or is this the time they take it one step further? Those were anxious thoughts that always filled your head when almost all of them had gathered now. At this point, it almost immediately kicked your fight or flight in when you heard the lock turn; just like Pavlov’s dog, you had been trained to recognize the sound and your body reacted autonomously.

‘’ Hey. ‘’

You raised your hung head and looked at Jay. The two of you seemed to try and read what was on the other’s mind, but you had no luck.

‘’ Do you not want to see Soobin? ‘’

A humorless scoff left your dry lips, ‘’ He’s not dead yet? ‘’

His eyebrow raised, your reaction was quite unexpected. You sounded exhausted, almost like you had given up already. It was a shame, they hadn’t even toyed that much with you yet.

‘’ Do you wish he were? ‘’

‘’ No, ‘’ you firmly pressed out through clenched teeth.

‘’ Then you better be on your best behavior, ‘’ he smirked before standing up.

You watched through the corner of your eye how he walked away with the others and relaxed when the sound of the door closing echoed.

You began to think less and less that they would let either of you go. Despite their fathers being close, Soobin’s dad wouldn’t have anything to say if his son came in between his boss and the company’s future.

Time was running out in all ways. The election was fast approaching, on top of all the other things that were burdens for you.

*******

A lot of time had passed until you opened your eyes again. You assumed you had been sleeping because you couldn’t remember what you had daydreamed about. What had woken you up was a lot of noise on the outside.

The more you were waking up and shaking the grogginess off, the louder and clearer the sounds became. They were shouting and you could hear thuds, sounds of furniture moving and banging.

You sat up straight. Footsteps approached your door. With your heart in your throat, you stared and waited. It went quiet, then the lock slowly clicked; with a creak, it was pushed open. You almost pressed your eyes shut out of fear but didn’t have time.

‘’ Yeonjun? ‘’

‘’ Hey. Sorry I was late, ‘’ he casually said, ‘’ Sunoo told me where you were. ‘’

You were about to say something else when a stranger pushed past him. More people poured in, shining their bright lights at you so it took some time to adjust to it. You heard what sounded like a radio, and your head snapped up.

‘’ You’re here to help me? ‘’ you choked out.

They looked down at you with polite smiles. One of them helped uncuff you and get you on your feet. You followed them wordlessly out of the room. When they led you past Jake’s room you couldn’t help but glance in.

He was sitting up on his bed and people were helping him too. He saw you and grinned widely, looking like a little puppy.

‘’ Soobin? ‘’ you looked back at Yeonjun who was following you.

‘’ He’s safe. He was in one of the rooms near the entrance, ‘’ he assured you.

The area you had been in just a few hours ago was completely destroyed. The TV had fallen and the chairs and tables on the other side had been knocked over.

‘’ Where are they? ‘’

Yeonjun couldn’t hold back the smirk that spread on his face, ‘’ You’ll see. ‘’

You frowned and climbed up the ladder, wondering what he was talking about. As soon as you were out, you had your answer. All six of them were being led away in handcuffs by police officers in the same uniform as the ones escorting you out.

Your group waited for your bullies to leave so you let your eyes wander while standing there. It didn’t seem like there had been an altercation above the bunker so they must have all been below ground.

Next, you turned and your heart almost stopped. Two people stared back at you, both equally as taken back and so moved by seeing you that they had tears in their eyes. You ran over there, straight into his arms.

‘’ Are you okay? ‘’ you mumbled into his chest.

He sniffled and laughed. You only cried harder, knowing how much you had missed hearing that laugh.

‘’ Yes, I’m okay. Are you? ‘’ he pulled away to look at you, and seemingly satisfied he pulled you in to hug you even tighter.

‘’ Hey, asshole. When is it my turn? ‘’

Soobin rubbed the back of his neck and you saw his cheeks turn red before he released you. Yena had never looked that animated before. She was beaming and had even let the tears drop shamelessly.

You returned her smile and hugged her carefully. Her hold around you tightened and you felt her chest heave. You rubbed her back soothingly and cried too, mostly because you felt sorry that hadn’t believed her.

You both pulled back after some time and wiped your tears. She genuinely looked like she loved you. You felt like you had to say it, ‘’ I’m so sorry, Yena. ‘’

Her eyes narrowed, ‘’ No! Do not apologize. ‘’

You laughed and accepted defeat because she genuinely looked really angry like she wanted to punch you for even uttering those words or thinking them.

A hand touched your arm. You turned around, knowing who it was already. A shy Jake greeted you, his anxious eyes darting to Yena and Soobin several times.

‘’ Hi, ‘’ he sheepishly said.

‘’ Hi. ‘’

‘’ I just, um- ‘’ he looked really uncomfortable so you gave him a reassuring smile which seemed to relax him a little bit.

‘’ I want to apologize for everything. ‘’

You blinked at him.

‘’ What? ‘’ you all three said in unison.

‘’ Well…I don’t want to blame the others. But I think being in that environment with really bad people influenced me. I’m not perfect, which is why I want to apologize so hopefully I can change, and become better.’’

‘’ I- oh, that’s nice. Thank you. ‘’

He nodded and laughed a bit awkwardly. Trying to move past you he was stopped as you pulled on his sleeve. You weren’t sure if you were making a mistake you’d come to regret. However, you said it anyway,

‘’ We can keep in touch if you want. ‘’

Now it was his time to blink at you in bewilderment, ‘’ What? Are you sure? ‘’

‘’ Yeah. I might move away from the city anyway. ‘’

You handed him your phone which he stared at for a few seconds before he seemed to snap out of it. He gave it back and this time he had a genuine smile on his face as he left. Yena and Soobin immediately ran up to you.

‘’ Are you crazy? Why would you do that? ‘’

‘’ I don’t know, ‘’ you groaned, ‘’ Trying to give people a second chance? ‘’

Soobin shook his head, ‘’ What would you do without me? ‘’

You laughed loudly and hugged him again. Pressed against his chest, you soon pulled away slightly to look up at him.

‘’ Soobin? ‘’

‘’ Yeah- ‘’

His words were knocked right out of his mouth as you stood on tiptoe to press your lips against his. Yena squealed with joy and gasped when she noticed. There was so much love, so much desperation and yearning in that kiss you had waited so long for. When you both looked at each other, he was glowing with happiness, he could feel what you were trying to tell him.

*******

Yeonjun had explained it about a thousand times since you left Jungwon’s house that night. However many times he kept doing it, it was still surreal to you and Soobin. What he had done once you left was quite simple, but not something any of you had thought about before.

He went to social media and the press. Turned out your bullies thought you’d never go online with it all because it was too big of a thing, they probably only thought that if you did that you would write some letter exposing the bullying. Those that released letters like that never gained much attention, they were always buried under the other hundreds of letters.

And if they thought you’d attempt to go on social media with the scandals of the company abusing their staff and being corrupt; they assumed you would post it, and they’d track you down before it gained traction.

Yeonjun was smarter than that. He went anonymous and made sure he couldn’t be traced at all. With his hacking, he released the most important files - the photos, texts, and evidence that were the most important. He had organized them when you all thought he was locked up in his room because he was distressed. No, that had only motivated him further, pushing him to his limits to get revenge for his friend.

It took a lot of time for it to get attention on social media, so he copied and sent it to every news outlet he had done research on that wasn’t connected to the company. Naturally, they freaked out. They tried looking everywhere for Yeonjun, but he wasn’t at home.

It was crazy, something out of a movie almost. You felt so lucky that it took off online the way that it did because it was a bit of a luck game. Some must’ve tried the same things you did, but it never got highlighted.

You suppose this was the universe’s way of giving back to you after so much pain and misery. All the fighting, tears, and work for the revenge you so badly wanted to get; had not been in vain.

You leaned your head back against the seat in the car after Yeonjun had retold his story again. He said that the evidence led to a warrant for their arrest and that they were being detained while they investigated.

*******

The sounds of heels clacking against the marble floor echoed down the hallway. You already knew who they might be, the mothers of your bullies. So you made a run for it, scared that they would confront you.

Escaping into one of the corridors to the side that led to smaller courtrooms, you pressed yourself against the wall while holding your breath. The heels went past you and then disappeared completely.

Soon, you started to hear two voices. It sounded like an older male and…You leaned closer, the voice became clearer. It was your lawyer that you had recently hired in case your bullies or the company tried to get back at you. In hushed voices, they angrily conversed.

‘’ You said you could wrap this up. ‘’

Your lawyer released a short, tired sigh and you could almost picture him rubbing his nose out of frustration.

‘’ I would’ve been able to if they didn’t take it to the media. With everyone’s eyes on us, I can’t do much, people have protested! You’ll have to accept the punishment. ‘’

Silence filled the area for a short period. Then a low hum sounded from the older male. You suspected he was from Jay’s dad’s company from what they were saying. It meant that your lawyer was affiliated with them. You rolled your eyes - of course, your luck would have it that way.

But at the same time, it didn’t seem to matter. The lawyer couldn’t soften the blow of the angry citizens and keyboard warriors at home, nor could they dodge the bullets of the workers’ unions that demanded a punishment. Jungwon wouldn’t get quite the same punishment the company would, so maybe they were talking about that and not why you were there today.

‘’ And the girls? ‘’

You straightened up and swallowed thickly, almost choking on air when you were mentioned.

‘’ I’m not sure what will happen to her. She hasn’t asked for the case to be reopened. ‘’

Your eyebrows knit together. Reopened? They weren’t talking about you. Who were they talking about? Shuffling closer to the voices as they became even more cautiously hushed, you hoped that they would explain it further or at least say enough for you to decipher it yourself.

‘’ I probably won’t have to worry about that then. We paid them a great deal. ‘’

‘’ And even if she went through with it, she wouldn’t have gotten much justice, ‘’ your lawyer filled in.

You waited with bated breath for them to continue, but a long time passed with neither of them saying anything. Then you heard the sound of shoes moving and you hurried to turn the corner, your heart beating loudly in your chest.

‘’ Miss? ‘’

You froze. Turning around, you could only assume you looked like a deer caught in headlights. It was evident that you had heard something you weren’t supposed to. Your lawyer stepped away from the older male and put a hand hovering against the small of your back to make you move.

The two of you walked back to the courtroom, and immediately after retaking your seats outside it, he questioned you.

‘’ What were you doing? ‘’

You bit your tongue, ‘’ I was just resting and I…accidentally heard you. ‘’

He hummed and put his arm to rest behind you on the bench. It served its purpose. Intimidated, words slipped out of your mouth without him having said much.

‘’ I-I didn’t hear much. I swear! ‘’

He looked disappointed, but also amused; a small smile played on his lips. He leaned in and this time it felt much more intimate.

‘’ Are you going to tell anyone? ‘’

‘’ No, ‘’ you shook your head vehemently, ‘’ But…who were you talking about? ‘’

‘’ Sunghoon and Jay. ‘’

Your eyes widened and he looked equally surprised when studying your face and seeing that you had no idea what he was talking about.

‘’ Didn’t you get the files? ‘’

‘’ Yes? ‘’ you said in a small voice.

Maybe Yeonjun had left that detail out.

‘’ The reason they were at the police station was to pick up a report that was filed against them by their former girlfriends. ‘’

‘’ Why? ‘’

You had a bad feeling in your stomach, and you could’ve probably guessed right then and there what it was about. It was just hard to imagine those two in particular doing something so heinous, so evil.

Then again - they were friends with Jungwon, the devil himself and evil reincarnated. You supposed it takes one to know one and they were all bad in one way or another.

Your lawyer licked his lips, glanced back to see if anyone else was around, and then casually whispered, ‘’ Domestic violence. ‘’

‘’ Wha- ‘’ you felt at loss for words.

‘’ It was dismissed, naturally because of their connections. They had photos and texts but it was all swept under the rug. ‘’

‘’ How is that even possible? ‘’

‘’ Money is power, miss. ‘’ he looked away, but his smirk was still visible, ‘’ It can do anything you want it to. ‘’

‘’ That’s immoral. ‘’ you angrily burst out, quite loudly.

Immediately a hand found its way to your thigh, warning you to keep your voice down.

‘’ That’s life, ‘’ he bit back.

His attention was turned to the front again, firmly letting you know he was done talking. You almost felt like a kid around him, despite your ages not being that far apart. You obeyed him, but with a sour taste in your mouth, he reminded you of someone.

‘’ The break is over. Court is in session again. ‘’

People moved into the courtroom. You kept your head down, but could almost predict that Jungwon and his lawyer brushed past you in that moment. When the last few people went in, the guards closed the doors and the sound of it echoed in the silence.

‘’ What do you think the ruling will be? ‘’

He ticked his tongue. You were sure he already had an answer despite not giving it right away. Maybe he was sparing you the pain for a bit longer.

‘’ I think it won’t be a harsh punishment. ‘’

‘’ But, he will go to prison, right? ‘’ he didn’t answer, ‘’ Right? ‘’

‘’ There’s nothing I can do to change it, miss, ‘’ he explained calmly, ‘’ The others were already just put on probation for the kidnapping charges. This is how it works with Chaebol families. ‘’

‘’ He killed someone! ‘’

He glared at you, and your voice quietened down a bit. However, It didn’t do much to quieten the anger you felt inside.

‘’ They will claim it’s involuntary manslaughter, maybe even spin it into negligent homicide. ‘’

‘’ Manslaughter? That must be prison time. ‘’

‘’ Most of the time, you can pay a fine, especially when you’re a first-time offender and a rich, well-known person like Mr. Yang. ‘’

You sighed and your whole body slumped down in the seat. Doubling over you buried your face in your hands and almost tore out pieces of your hair.

‘’ I don’t understand… ‘’ you mumbled to yourself, over and over.

Your lawyer looked at you with pity. But he was quiet. From time to time he went from looking at you with concern, to checking his watch curiously.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed before the door finally opened again. The people were unusually quiet, so you almost missed them passing by. You only noticed when heaps of shoes passed by right in front of your field of view.

‘’ Y/n, the trial is over. ‘’

Slowly you raised your head, ‘’ What was the verdict? ‘’

‘’ I’ll go check. Stay here. ‘’

He stood up and pushed past the stream of people. Close to the entrance, he stopped by what looked like Jungwon’s lawyer from where you were sitting. A visible grin spread on the man’s face, and when your lawyer turned to you, you already knew you wouldn’t be happy with the news.

‘’ No jail? ‘’ you said defeatedly.

He sighed, ‘’ No jail. He just has to pay millions in fines. ‘’

‘’ That’s nothing to a guy like him. ‘’

‘’ At least he and the other guys have been suspended. Are you still going to go to that school? ‘’

You hadn’t thought about that since you yourself got suspended. What you wanted most maybe seemed like something out of a fantasy - to run away to the countryside and finish school there with Soobin, away from the city and the places that only brought forth bad memories.

Your dad would most likely never accept that. But you had considered cutting all ties with him anyway, so it didn’t really matter. If you didn’t live too far out, you could still go and visit your mom every weekend and walk around at the places you actually liked.

‘’ I would suggest you move, miss. ‘’

‘’ Why? ‘’

‘’ Although they have been disciplined and they no longer have the same power they used to because of the company having fallen apart, it doesn’t mean they won’t give up on you. ‘’

‘’ I think they will now. They have lost a lot. ‘’

‘’ Take my advice. I’ll stay in touch, ‘’ he said and then stood up.

You gave him a rather sad smile, but it still carried a lot of gratitude and had more lightness to it than the previous fake ones you had given him in the beginning. You supposed this was as much justice as you and the other victims would get. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

More and more people passed by, unnoticed by you. Remaining glued to the bench you kept thinking over your future.

*******

6 months later

You shared your thoughts with Soobin about what you wished life after the storm would look like. As always he fought hard to make your wishes come true. He brought you out to his aunt’s house in the countryside and promised you shelter there for as long as you needed.

Going back to the city hadn’t happened many times. Mostly because after you had moved out there, tragedy had struck the peace, disrupting it once again. You almost burst into tears any time you thought of your mom. They had called, telling you that she had passed away. The timing was suspicious, to say the least. Soobin had been there to comfort you after everything; after the confirmation, the funeral, and whenever you felt like your heart was breaking.

But, you knew your mom was at peace now. The crying had become less frequent when you realized this. Free from feeling like a burden on her family, and free from the hold your bullies had over her.

Maybe you could’ve seen it coming. That if you fought back, they’d remove your mom like a piece from a chessboard.

All in all, you had started to feel happy. You took everything day by day, and gradually it got easier. The stress you had felt from living in the city, constantly harassed and bullied by them, and also under surveillance had disappeared. You felt lighter, looked more radiant. Looking back at it you’d been living in constant survival mode. Therefore it felt a bit weird that you were free now.

You and Soobin were sitting on the train for your first trip into the city in a long time. Summer was fast approaching. As you stopped seeing your bullies, the scars gradually stopped itching. You didn’t care about the stares you’d get when out in public, you freely wore short-sleeved shirts. Soobin was always there to hold your hand or distract you by saying stupid stuff whispered into your ear when he saw them.

And when you turned to him, everyone else disappeared.

*******

taglist; @peaceout97blog-blog, @ayadikreino, @beoms-sugar, @keikeu, @sunghoonnsupremacy, @lilyalone, @sweet-kisses-and-bloody-screams, @eunchaesmileyface, @nunugget, @seunns, @nshmrarki, @huening-ly, @espyluvsyou, @yncel, @loserwithnofriends, @enha-stan, @binchanluvrr, @ariek-divad, @obsessed1with1straykids, @yizhoutv, @taeyongzodiactwinkiri, @w3bqrl, @elleashn, @nuriicata, @yevene, @manasasugarbaby09, @jend3uki

*******

Hey my loves, if you made it this far woww ur crazy bc this is really my longest chapter and written thing on this blog I think I’ve ever done??!!

Now, this chapter might be confusing or disappointing which is why I’m here to explain it to ease at least some of y’all’s minds (I hope)

First Jake - yes, I did ‘’ revive ‘’ him lol, or decide to not kill him even tho I had planned otherwise, after everyone’s opinions changed. It’s honestly super interesting to see how people’s opinions can change just like that, because of one chapter, one scene and & perspective change, super cool!! Some of you will probably believe he’ll have a full character redemption arc and some still hate him and alwaysa will, never believing a guy like him will change.

Yena, now Yena’s interesting. I always struggled with her character. Do I make her actually betray y/n or not? Do I make her die (bc yes I was very adamant on one of them dying, even Yeonjun was considered, after heroically saving his brother and the girl he liked, he’d die thinking of his friend LMAOO). In the end I settled on her warming up to y/n which I personally found was pretty sweet since before meeting her she was literally a copy of her brother - cold, dark and mean.

Also, at the end I did reveal a pretty big thing abt Sunghoon & Jay. I know the placement is weird and so is the random scene where I bring Jiyun in (maybe?) in all honesty I had forgotten abt her lol and I had also forgotten abt the dirty secrets those two were hiding. That’s why it got crammed in at the end bc I already had my set scenes I wanted to write.

The conclusion might frustrate some, I get that. My simplest explanation is that they were in reality just a bunch of high schoolers. They weren’t some evil masterminds and I think that makes it more realistic. They were spoiled kids who expected their parents to clean up after them every time and thought they were untouchable that’s why the taunted y/n and Soobin by handing them the evidence right in their hands. DUMB !!! In the end though, the punishments they got didn’t make it as ‘’ easy ‘’ as them finding her and the whole thing going down at the end did.

I do believe she got a happy ending even tho it definitely didn’t seem like it with her mom dying and her barely getting any justice lol. But I guess again, it’s a matter of perspective. What she wanted most maybe wasn’t revenge, but freedom that she had always craved. Plus, their jealous assess probably see it as revenge bc she got swept off her feet by Choi Soobin himself.

I love open endings, although this was only a ‘’ semi-open ‘’ ending. Maybe some of you think, like I pitched at the end that they will try to follow her and not give up. Others, would think they’d let her go no matter how painful it’d be - could they perhaps find a new obsession in the city instead?

And also I would say that although my masterlist says ‘’ heavily inspired by ‘’ I only think it ended up being a little inspired by but yeah can’t change it now lol so sorry if u were expecting my girl to pull off such moves like the mc did in the glory.

If you read this far (again) I love you, & even if you didn’t read this whole chapter bc it’s a LOT or you still felt the ending was poopie bc I’m a student who rushes things - thank you, from the bottom of my heart ! I’m excited to see what new projects I will want to do <333

#enha the glory #yandere kpop #kpop yandere #yandere enha #yandere enhypen #enha x reader

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