#i will probably delete this later because I dont have a good feeling about posting it but maybe it is just anxiety idk idk idk

[justxangelxthings]

I keep getting messages asking me if my header picture is me and I say yes because it is BUT I feel very guilty because I'm wearing a TON of makeup, much more than I usually do and even a bit of eyelid tape to alter my appearance so here are some minimal makeup selfies 👉👈 (I'm wearing mascara in the first and eyeliner/lip gloss in the second.) My haircolor is also fake (I'm naturally brunette) and I sometimes wear colored circle lenses. To the 4 (!!!!!) girlies who messaged me so far that have made comparisons between my appearance and their own with a very unfavorable opinion of their own I promise I do not look like that picture 99.999999% of the time and in real life I am pretty plain and unremarkableand it is very possible that I would wish I looked like you if I saw you. 🙈

#im feeling really vupnerable making this post rn but i care more about not perpetrating girls' negative self image through comparison #than i care about impressing people with a false image of myself 🙈 #i will probably delete this later because I dont have a good feeling about posting it but maybe it is just anxiety idk idk idk #you're all hot ok #mine

[sashimiyas]

.

#tw discourse #i’m gonna say an unpopular opinion once and then be on my way again #sometimes i see something on here that makes me upset and then i think #‘i really need to be on here less.’ but then i realize… i rarely use the app as it is #but writers love to say ‘we don’t get paid to write. we are not machines.’ all valid points #bc entitlement is frustrating. bc this is meant to be a community of natural engagement and interaction #i want to specify Natural #bc i see those same writers bash their followers for not like rbing or commenting #as if they are getting paid to follow the author! and that isn’t fair either #writers ask for grace when they are going through writers block or a difficult episode in their life #and our followers cannot ask for the same? sometimes we do not feel like reading. and let’s admit it. not every post will be a banger #and that should be fine too. no one should be guilted to interact with anyone #and i think my whole discomfort with using this site lately is how every interaction is being policed #like do we not assume good intentions anymore? can we not assume that someone is rbing without tags but will put something in later #when they do get a chance to read it? or that they are liking because they want to read it but just dont have the time yet? #anyways. i’ll probably come back to delete this #but man. anyone who follows me. i want you to know that i will do my best to never try and make you feel bad for choosing how to interact #with this blog. outside of not responding to my inbox bc that’s just been difficult for me lately. #please have a comfortable experience and go about this stupid little hellhole in peace #don’t feel coerced to interact with me unless you want to. don’t apologize to me for not having reached out to me in a while #it’s okay. please have your fun in any way you want #i say this bc before being a writer i am a reader

[lzrdprsn]

It's really weird when you know someone in a context different from how everybody else knows them so you look at them and you still kind of see that person they used to be

#this post is about the boy i dated my senior year who was so incredibly sweet tbh wouldnt be the person i am today if i hadnt met him #but he was so fucked up he had so many issues it was really hard so it didnt work out but i loved him and i think he loved me too #but hes in a moderately successful band now which i just found out about do i looked them up and theyre good #but its so weird because its like i know that when you were 17 you wanted to be an underwater welder #i helped you clean your room at your grandmas house because you were so sad you couldnt do it yourself #i ditched 5th period AP English to sit on the steps behind the auditorium and listen to you talk about whatever #you pushed me on the swings and we took the bus to the movie theater and you liked cherry wraps and you played me my favorite songs #i havent REALLY thought about that guy in years and we were only together MAYBE 6 months but its so weird what you remember about people #and especially how you remember how they made you feel because he made me feel so good like i was in control #all my previous relationships was me trying to desperately please someone who wouldnt do the same for me #and honestly a lot of my relationships since have been the same especially in college and with the one girl who honestly if she called me #today i would drop everything and go be with her again no questions because i cant get her out of my head #but stuff witj him was never ever like that it was so easy it was like breathing even though it ended messy i have 0 regrets #and its nice to know that things are going well for him because honestly he changed my life a little bit #the way i dont give a fuck now is something i learned from him #ill probably delete this later but you know

[ask-the-crimson-king]

can i just say how tiring it is to see constant posts about asexual or aromantic characters being thrown into ships and explicit fics and everything and see constant "and i KNOW that SOME aces have sex" in there.

hi. im an ace who has never had sex and, so long as i have the power to prevent it, never will. i am not interested in it whatsoever, never have been, never will be. i am not aromantic so i wont speak on the aromantic aspects of this qualm.

i would like to see more aces allowed to be sex-repulsed in general. i would like to see more aces allowed to be sex-free and happy without the necessary "BUT ACES WHO ENJOY SEX DO INDEED EXIST! WE AREN'T ALL SEXLESS FREAKS!" constantly being applied everywhere.

i would like to see more aces allowed to be uncomfortable in explicit conversations. i would like to see more aces allowed to exist without the 10 million qualifiers.

and i would like to see alloromantic aces who don't have to compromise for their partners, or alloromantic aces who dont even care about having partners because they know most people wont be willing to have sexless relationships.

do not pigeonhole sex-repulsion to just aroaces. also, have more diverse aro and ace representation then just aroaces. allromantic aces and allosexual aromantics exist. id like to see them a bit more often too. allow them to also be sex-repulsed.

basically i guess this boils down to "please stop apologizing for wanting sex-repulsed aces to exist in media" or "please stop qualifying a want for aces to not be immediately shipped or put into sexual situations by saying 'but i know aces can have sex and enjoy sex'." we know aces can have or want sex. asexuality is a spectrum, its why aspec is a thing.

this is very rambly and im writing it between being stressed for exams and other life things. this will probably get deleted later. im just tired of it, man. it makes me feel like i have to apologize for being sex-repulsed or wanting some good representation that doesnt get immediately steamrolled by "BUT NOT ALL ACES ARE-" shut up. i know. but what about for those of us who are? we're not all aroace. some of us are alloace/aro. let us exist too.

#to be deleted later probably #the hermit awakens #asexuality #aspec #asexual

[wasyago]

some rambles about gillion trans headcanons and other stuff

im realizing that i write these posts because i have no one to talk about riptide with, so this is like a monolog that is meant to be a dialog? sort of? the point is, the thought process is unpredictable and this is just everything that goes through my head and not like a structural point or anything and some things are random and not uhhh pretty(?). i dont even know why im writing these disclaimers, no one cares probably?

anyway. so, if gillion was a trans man, how would that work?

did he know from the young age, before the elders even, that he was a boy? was it just an obvious thing for him and his family? was he loved and accepted? and when the elders took him away, did they accept him as well? did they even see him for a kid/a person he was, or did they only think about the prophecy and didn't care what gender The One was? when gillion got older, did he get his top surgery inside the walls of the palace without anyone questioning him or looking down upon? or did he have to sneak out? probably definitely not sneak out, im not sure gillion ever left the palace or seen the world outside much. did he even get top surgery?

that's an interesting question to me actually, because if tritons (in this campaign at least) hatch from eggs, do females even have bigger boobs? technically no, right? do they even have boobs? i mean, they do have chest muscles and stuff, but do they have nipples? the one time i drew gill without a shirt i didn't draw him any, so im gonna say "no" for now. sorry im huge bore when it comes to these types of questions, i don't even know why actually... is it weird?

uhh what was i talking about... so i guess yeah, if female and male tritons don't have that different of a body structure, gillion probably didn't even need a top surgery to begin with. and maybe he didn't experience much in terms of dysphoria, which honestly? good for him, he had enough going on already...

but if gillion wasn't trans before the elders? if he was fine with his gender, he was only five after all, he had better fiveyearold things to worry about. what happened after he was taken away? was it his own realization, just at an older age?

or was it forced on him by the elders? (its definitely a darker concept and would be out of character for the elders, but as an alternative universe I think its interesting as well). because "the chosen one", the hero of the prophecy, the one who will decide the fate of the world and who will protect the undersea, in the eyes of the elders could've only be a man (if they were misogynistic). and when they come to this family and they see a 5 y.o. girl, what can they feel except disappointment? they will try anyway though, because what are they supposed to do? and if they need a man for a prophecy they will get him one way or another...

again, a darker concept, and i think i like it like an au better than a headcanon for the main campaign. because it's ooc and brings up slightly different topics from the original.

at the end i think i wont headcanon gill as trans? (although who knows, maybe I'll come around eventually, we'll see) maybe as nonbinary or a secret third thing though. gillion to me doesn't feel like a "man" man, his gender is "a guy" i don't know how to explain it hdgsbbs (maybe im just projecting idk o_o)

I love it when people hc him as trans tho, its very sweet!!!!!!! and i believe he does have the top surgery scars in the official art? so like, pop off king lets go???? (actually i just checked and no he doesn't, but im gonna think he does anyway)

im a little scared to re read this post and i think i'll delete it later probably, but uhhh yeah... again, just rambling and thinking out loud (not out loud but you get what i mean. writing all this down or drawing something really helps me to think and figure things out, so that's why)

#yagotalk #ask to tag #if someone wants to talk about it or add something feel free to

[mugentakeda]

Do you have any fic recs similar to your take on iroh? Treating him as an actual character with some fucked up issues is SO much more fun!! I love him and I am chewing on your art

YES!!!!!!!! everytime i post about shithead iroh moments i get nervous someones gonna think i dont like him or im anti iroh or whatever but i genuinely honest to god think his less than savory past and personality traits ON TOP of the things about him that make him so beloved by the fandom makes him better. like yeah i love all parent characters that are just big softies but big softie parents that also are kinda (very much ) fucked up are even better. to ME. and i dont usually judge how good characters are on the basis of how good of a parent they are which is oddly something that a Lot of people do but. U wont find any of that on this blog which is also why i loveeeee ursa.

BUT I DIGRESS! here is my absolute favorite. its unfinished but what is there is still very loaded. digs in deep to iroh. gets pretty nitty gritty with it too. it changed how i see iroh and specifically season 1 iroh. it balances his b1 behavior with his later revealed status as a grand lotus MASTERFULLY, and puts his manipulative and cunning side on full display. might even make you mad at him a little bit

this one is less of a take on iroh as like. a general and a grand lotus and the war side of him and more of him as a father. its short and sad and i adore all of this authors fics involving iroh. it still shines a good light on the consequences of irohs own actions though because lu ten dying was literally his fault. the selfishness and the manic desperation that bleeds through this monologue is kind of scary but also is tragically beautiful.

ALSO these specific parts near the end of salvage were REALLY good. i feel like iroh is definitely the kind of guy that does a whole lot of backhanded comments as a way of patronizing without probably even realizing he does it?? i think a lot of people forget that what makes iroh being “changed” different from zuko is that zuko is still a child, and iroh is like. in his fifties or something. a whole LIFETIME of probably doing everything zuko did pre-redemption but far worse, and plenty times over. take how young azula is when ozai let her loose into the world into account. take the fact that iroh was already a general by the time he was sieging bss into account. im not gonna compare and contrast crimes here but i am trying to put weight onto how long iroh has been in the game. nasty shit like this is bound to still creep in the shadows of irohs mind and will definitely slip out sometimes.

and i know i keep bringing up that one unfinished super gnarly au fic that features azulon putting zuko into irohs care following irohs return to ba sing se (after ozai disgraced himself in requesting azulon give ozai the throne since iroh lost his only heir). hopefully one day ill find it because i hate to think the author deleted it or whatever . but out of all the fics that dig into irohs crimes id say this one does it the deepest while also SOMEHOW managing to make iroh sympathetic just by how sheerly pathetic and miserable he is the whole time. ONE DAY THOUGH. i pray that i will find it. because i have like over 200 pages of history on ao3 and i cant remember when exactly i read the fic so . searching for it has been kind of difficult but if i find it trust i will post it lol

#i know this isnt much but for some reason depicting iroh like this is kinda. Uncommon. #WHICH STINKS but whatever. #asks

[bil-daddy]

hi mr bildad um im just gonna dump this here since i have no one else to talk to

as someone who has always praised in their ability to be friends with anyone (i also need human interaction to survive btw) ive been feeling very lonely, especially since now are the school holidays.

my best friend (who is one year older than me) is barely online and doesn't take me seriously enough. and when i ask my friend group (with 2 other people my age) if they want to go out nothing happens. ive asked so many times but it's like they just don't want to hang out. and i keep seeing them post everywhere of them having fun with their OTHER friends (i don't know them bc they're from their primary schools; we are in secondary school now). and the obvious solution is to hang out with my primary school friends, right? well awesome news I DONT HAVE ANY.

and like ive just been feeling really really lonely especially today. i don't even text anyone except for my best friend, and even then she doesnt really respond properly because its like i dump a lot of messages and 4 hours later she skims through them, rinse and repeat.

(also side note i used to have another best friend but he ended up having a crush on me and didn't give me space so i kinda ended the friendship bc i wasn't comfortable with it)

during my entire TWO MONTH school holiday i haven't gone out with friends. not even once. while i see everyone else my age having so much fun and enjoying life while i just rot at home scrolling through tumblr.

so yeah im not really having a great time. hopefully when i get back to school in january things will be better

sorry for the long rant

Hey, kid (human). No need to apologize for the long rant. Actually, I've got a lot to say about this topic, too, so take a toilet break, grab a beverage and a snack, then sit down with your deal old Bildaddy (platonic, metaphorical) for a chat.

First off, sorry you're going through this. It hurts a lot when friends start fading away, and you realize they no longer consider you as close and you consider them. Feeling left out and like you don't have any real friends seriously sucks.

But it's actually something every single person goes through at some time or another--though most of us aren't brave enough to admit it like you have, because it feels embarrassing and shameful. Like there's something wrong with you.

There isn't.

There is nothing wrong with you.

Friends come and go, and 99% of the time it has nothing to do with you, or anything you've said or done. It isn't your fault. That doesn't mean it hurts any less, but it isn't your fault.

But that being said, I promise you, for every person you see pictures of having so much fun and enjoying life, there are twenty--probably even more--at home like you, scrolling tumblr, or tiktok, or reddit, or whatever the kids are scrolling these days.

And even those people you see posting pictures, that isn't their everyday life. They post pics of the good times, not the bad ones (well not usually) or the boring ones. Especially not the boring ones. I bet they do more sitting at home and scrolling than you think. They're just not advertising that for all their followers to see.

But that's not the point. The point is (dolphins! goats!) your current friends aren't fulfilling your need for socialization. And that means you need to find some new friends, anon.

You can still stay friends with your best friend and that old friend group. As in, don't send them a message officially ending the friendship, and don't delete and/or block them everywhere. You can still talk to them in school when you see them.

(Do unfollow them on social media if seeing them hang without you is upsetting--or better yet, pause on using social media entirely--except for tumblr, of course--until you're in a better place, mentally and emotionally. Bildaddy deleted instagram five years ago and never went back.)

But starting today, back off on asking these friends to hang out, and sending long text messages to your best friend that she only skims through. They're not matching your energy, so you need to start matching theirs. Either they'll notice the difference and start making more of an effort (no, not that kind), or they won't and they won't. But either way, you'll stop wasting your time.

Next, you take all the energy you were spending on your old friend group and start looking for new friends.

While you're still on winter break, there might not be as many opportunities, but there are some possibilities. Do you have any cousins around your age who might wanna hang out? Or maybe there are local events aimed at teenagers you can attend? Check libraries and community centers. Or on New Year's Eve, there might be some sort of Parents Night Out event you can volunteer for and help babysit a group of little kids, along with other teenagers that you could befriend?

Then, when winter break ends, look around your school for other students who might be in your same situation--and trust me there are others in your same situation. Is there someone who always sits alone at lunch? Or what about that kid in class who's too shy to speak up? Is there someone getting bullied or ostracized? Someone new to the school who hasn't made any friends yet? Look for the ones who might need a friend as much--or even more--than you do and try to befriend them.

It won't always work, no, cause nothing always works. But it will work sometimes. And you only need it to work enough times to make a couple friends. And if you make the right friend, they might have a friend group that you can join.

I know it's really scary to put yourself out there and make the first move. But you'd be surprised how receptive people are, especially the shy ones who are too scared to say 'hi' first, and rely on the braver ones, like you, for the human connection they need. Because we all need it. (Even me. Because I'm totally 100% human.)

Other ways to make friends are clubs, in school and out of school, which is probably what adults will suggest if you ask them, so I'm not going to spend much time on this. But they're right. If you're not already in clubs--academic, sports, art, books, music, anime, whatever your interest(s) is--join some! If there's nothing of interesting at your schools, churches and other local organizations might also have youth clubs and activities, too.

Shared interests in a sure way to make friends. I see it happening all the time on Tumblr. Those mutuals you wish didn't live so far away? Well, you can find mutuals just like them IRL! (Especially if you start or join a book club that reads Good Omens, or a tv show club that watches Good Omens)

Another option is getting a part-time job at a place other teenagers work. If this is something you can do without disrupting your schoolwork, try it. Fast food restaurants, cinemas, places like that.

You say you're someone who has the ability to be friends with anyone? Well, prove it! This isn't a threat, by the way. This is encouragement. I'm encouraging you.

Now go out there and make some friends, kid! I know you can do it! I believe in you, and everybody here is rooting for you.

And, as always, have an ox rib (platonic)

#bildaddy answers #life advice from bildaddy (results may vary) #have an ox rib (platonic) #bildaddy #bildad brainrot #bildad nation #bildad the shuhite army #oh bildad we're really in it now #oh bildad the shuhite we're really in it now #bildad my beloved #shutanic temple #bildad the shuite #bildad #bildad the shuhite #bilday #obstetrician thursday

[thrawns-babygirl]

I had an anon in my askbox that was rudely asking me something along the lines of "why aren't you posting about Crosshair anymore" and I got mad and deleted it before figuring I should probably explain myself a little because all 860 of you did initially follow me for crosshair content so here goes:

So, like many of us, I am neurodivergent. I have intense, all encompassing hyperfixations that give me that ridiculous dopamine hit that we all know and love. Unfortunately, these hyperfixations have a shelf life (as much as I would prefer to be able to hyperfixate on a single thing for a long time and not worry about the enjoyment waning)

This means that in time, I struggle to connect with certain media the way I used to. If I set certain media to the side and then think about it a little while later, then I can sometimes get that rush back like I did when I first engaged with the media.

A good example of this is actually Hux and the sequel trilogy. Back when the sequels were new and exciting I was a feral Hux stan. I didn't have a blog I used back then so I just read fanfic on Ao3 and info dumped to my friends. (Lmao sorry guys)

But then the interest slowly waned, for star wars all together and I hyperfixated on other things, My Hero Academia, Haikyuu, Star Trek, until eventually my brain had enough of a break from Star Wars and let me get fully invested in it again.

Basically what I'm trying to say is, I would love nothing more than to still be fully invested in the Bad Batch fandom, but my brain will not let me feel the same way about it until I have a small break and think about something else for a while.

And like many of us, it was my comfort show. With my comfort characters. When the season 2 finale aired I was a mess. I'm not even a full time Tech fan but the way he went out broke me. It was hard to think about the show at all without feeling a whole slew of negative emotions, so I started rewatching rebels and the sequels to find a new comfort show and other comfort characters.

Look none of this makes any sense, but basically I'm sorry for the hux spam and lack of TBB content lately. It will return. I will come back to it, but its just really hard at the moment. I'll still finish off the requests once I am settled at my new house, but after that I probably won't turn requests back on for a while until I get over my negative emotions towards the show.

And before you hit me with the "but Hux died too" look i know, it's just easier to talk myself out of that one because it was so negligible in the grand scheme of the movie I can pretend he was helped into a bacta tank or something.

Look, if you got this far, thanks for reading my unmedicated ramblings. I'm sorry that the content you followed me for isn't happening as much anymore, but it will come back one day. When it's less difficult for me to think about.

Until then, enjoy the Thrawn posting and Hux posting. Or don't. I dont make the rules.

#rambling #venting i guess? #just too many words #tldr im neurodivergent and care about fictional characters an unhealthy amount

[fantasydaydreamers]

SEASON 6 MHA COMMENTS BC I HAVE SOME THINGS TO SAYYYY

(SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT SO IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ALL OF SEASON 6 YET DNI!!!!)

I WILL PROB DELETE THIS LATER (IDK) BUT IM IN SHAMBLES RN ESPECIALLY AT EPISODES 23 AND 24 !#+'+#{HFJWHXJ

good LORD where do i start?!?!?!

i guess ill just post screenshots of my fav things i saw and go from there????

HELLO????? LMAFAOOOO getting this out of the way first because it caught me off guard and i died lmfaooo

OKAY NEXT IMPORTANT THING>>> DABI'S REVEAL?!?!?!? HEY....SEEING IT ANIMATED WAS D I F F E R E N T. ALSO....HE REALLY DID TALK HIS SHIT??????? like endeavor is an ass and was a shitty father but holy hell touya said fuck all and ruined the todoroki reputation

AND BROADCASTING IT???? hey!!!! he had a story to tell and mf TOLD IT. that shit was WILD

(probably one of my fav screenshots ever bc his expression and the art.....he looks INSANE. i love him)

"you reap what you sow" is such a HARD line. and very true.

touya is THAT bitch. sorry not sorry he talked his shit and said what he had to say...FOR YEARS.

an icon.

OKAY MOVING ON....

I just wanna say that the civilians....villains.... and the corrupt side of being a hero was really winning me over for about half the season. they would say some shit and id be like "....they have a point...." and i think it was inevitable for citizens to start rioting and going rogue. but damn dude....the heroes retiring....THE ONES WHO DIED??? mIDNIGHT?????? MY GIRL!!!! NOO!!!!

hey????? what the fuck is going on????

i do want to make another comment that mirko is also that bitch. her fight scene was badass and she has such unwavering strength to her i was on the edge of my seat tbfh.

OKAY i skipped over this completely (sorry my brain is in shambles) BUT HAWKS?????? HIS HISTORY AND FIGHT WITH DABI??? HIM KILLING TWICE?!?!?!? WHOOOOAAAAAA

hey i love hawks tho, if anything this made me love him more bc of his past and how strong he is??? i wanna kiss him.

FAST FORWARDING TO DEKU'S DRAMATIC ASS LEAVING UA.

i mean....sure i understand his reasoning....but can he practice what he preaches???? he talks all the time about how "we're all going to be heroes...we're all in this together" but leaves every single classmate a personalized note (while explaining how he has one for all) and takes off???? so dramatic for no reason i was like PLS BE SERIOUS!!!!

but i loved the symbolism in his hero costume...the more intense he got and focused on his 1-way thinking, the more he started to look like a villain. THAT was crazy.

NOW. WHEN BAKUGOU FOUND HIM???????

HE REALLY CALLED DEKU OUT TBFH

they both love all might and all might saves people with a smile right?????? DAAAMMMNNNN BAKUGOU REALLY CLOCKED HIM!!!!!!! I SCREAMED WHEN I READ THIS???

my man my man my man-

if anyone here is new to my blog, hello. i love bakugou katsuki. he is my favorite ever and i have deep emotional ties to him since i watched mha when it was first released in 2016. i love him so much and will never be able to stress that enough.

NOW.

WHEN THEY FINALLY CAUGHT DEKU AND BAKUGOU HAD HIS MONOLUGE CONFESSING EVERYTHING TO DEKU AND HOW HE STILL DOESNT FEEL STRONG ENOUGH AND SEES HIMSELF AS WEAK?????? AND APOLOGIZED?!?@E>?4/r HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IM!!!!! NOT!!!!!!! OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!

that was a lot to process and im still not comprehending how he sees himself like that (oh yeah....he has TRAUMA that i feel like UA hasnt taken seriously) class 1a crying too while listening????? literally im jumping off a roof

bc ochacos speech was moving too and the fact that news spread about deku being targeted is crazy and citizens really dont like him....but accepting him back in made my heart warm.

.....BATH TIME!!!!!

kaminari is so right. (hot showers are healing) finally something warm hearted after 24 epsiodes of death and pain and suffering??????

A BATH?>$:R>

ALSO HEY WHEN BAKUGOU STARTED TALKING AGAIN ABOUT RIVALS LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO

KAMINARI AND KIRISHIMA WERE LIKE "....bro...." LMFAOOO I LOVE THEIR FRIENDSHIP YALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

finally to wrap this up i would just like to say that stain is such an interesting character. like....his ideology is different and just so fascinating? i need to watch a character review or something on him bc hes honestly one of the top "villains" in mha aside from shigaraki and dabi (imo)

stain is also for the girls.

the tartarus breakout and the one villain was screaming "GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS-" and stain killed his ass, no hesitation. (id hate to imagine wtf that villain did with girls before to get locked up in tartarus...)

bc stain didnt even kill the guard while retrieving the info chips?? he killed a fellow villain and thats fascinating to me.

okay that concludes this rant. im not okay. season 6 was hell. HIGH SCHOOLERS ARE SAVING JAPAN. 'surpassing all might' should not be a conversation anymore (we're WAYYYY past that)

#my hero academia #mha s6 #boku no hero academia #bnha season six #bnha s6 #my hero academia season 6

[amywritesthings]

... a lil personal thing i can delete later, just me being seasonally depressed 😅 ...

eeek, i feel very apathetic about being on tumblr atm. i feel wildly disconnected to it, and i have to keep reminding myself not to compare myself to others and follow my own advice.

i think my issue is that i don't follow many people to begin with, so i should probably check my follower listing every once in a while and actually follow people 😅 i've gotten so bad at that the last year since my dash usually makes me very anxious unless if i'm consistently posting, so i dont look at other blogs unless if i find them linked on ao3 for the longfics i'm reading

i primarily use this blog to post my works and answer questions. i'm not really in any fandom/community. and sometimes i do wish i was? i tried at the beginning to be in a big community but constantly felt like i wasn't good enough, or there was major drama and it was competitive and weird, so i detached completely to just be some outlier in all of these fandoms.

i feel like i don't really belong anywhere.

i'm not privy in any friend group or community. i lurk for the most part in any friend servers or initiatives or group challenges, but a part of it is because i just always assume no one wants me around so i just don't participate 💀 so the onus is on me to make friends, and stay consistent with said friends, rather than posting my works and dipping until i have a new major update.

i'm mostly grateful for those who are brave enough to send me a DM or inbox mssg - i've met a lot of amazing people that way, and i cannot stress to you individuals how much you all mean to me.

idk man!!!! it's just tough sometimes to have this as your hobby. especially when you log on and you're like damn, so many people i started this hobby are so far removed from me but still hang all together and participate in calls and chats and inside jokes and i'm like the weirdo people still follow out of pity or something, idek.

✨✨✨ seeeeasonal depression and perfectionismmmmm

#tw personal #to be deleted

[heliographe]

hey, dream fans. dream fan here.

i dont use twt, i dont rlly follow any people who cover drama and so i found out ab the grooming allegations from the people i do follow vague posting ab it. which-- alr, im writing this just to vent and ill probably delete it later so here we go

im a bit annoyed at many peoples-- fans of dream-- response to this. a lot of its emotional, people being devastated by the news that a cc theyre so attached to is potentially a pedo. like yeah, fuck, that is pretty upsetting on its own. but where is the logic . the critical thinking. come on, people. you are capable of it. ive seen how capable you are.

now. to be fair a lot of the ppl i follow are young and very emotionally invested in this man and use twitter, and if i know anything about the damn internet its that twitter is some kind of fuckin virus. its emotionally draining, it is practically made for going after your sensitivities and insecurities and hopes and fears and all that shit.

the second i figured out the entire situation , i knew it wasnt true. dream is not a damn pedo, or a groomer, or whatever stupid big trigger word theyre throwing at him. and its simple why i know, why its so goddamn obvious.

its DREAM. and i say this with full confidence bc ive heard him talk. about his aspirations , his mistakes, his feelings, ive seen him act it out. weve seen it.

he lives with two extremely close and clearly stable, smart friends. he has many other friends who vouch for him, who have shown integrity and intelligence in their own right.

groomers are idiots. pedos are sick. there are reasons they are like that. dream is neither. he has so many good supports in his life, hes had rough patches as any young and learning and growing person would and he has SHOWN that hes learning and figuring shit out and hes progressing so well, listening and caring and again, its literally visible . the way he speaks ab things, the actions he takes.

i get how important that whole "listen to the victim" shit is, but god. that doesnt mean entirely fucking discard the evidence of innocence on one side of the accusations. take a step back from twitters poisonous moral fear mongering, take a step back from any emotional investment or parasocial feelings you have for dream. look at his behaviour objectively. hes not a villain, hes not a bad guy, hes not a stupid one, hes not the type of person who would do anything like that.

dont doubt what youve seen from this stupid fucking idiot minecraft youtuber. theres a reason you get so attached to him in the first place . hes genuine, hes easy to love because of it.

on the other side of this. the people accusing him very obviously have a malicious agenda. doing this at the height of his popularity, right after he face revealed and is getting ready to do entirely new content ? the wording they use ? god, its so cancel culture it hurts. fuck off with that shit. its disgusting how many times people try and spin popular ccs into pedos and how many fans fall for it bc theyre so scared its true. shut up your fear and think. i say this with a polite tone, bc i am too annoyed to be gentle.

take care of yourselves. please remember to think outside of twitter culture. form your own opinion, and when you do please try and consider things objectively and as critically as possible. twitter culture is a fucking curse.

#vent #dreamwastaken #dreamblr

[thenhlteaissuperhot]

I dont know if you keep tabs on her but i think something’s going on with Provy and Madison (his girlfriend). Yes, there was a lot going on with him not wearing the Pride jersey and her using their dogs account to talk about how she supports all people (and she took Provy out of the dog account bio after it happened. She also apparently had a pro-Trump picture in her vsco back in the day but took it down at some point too).

The reason why I think something’s going on is because back in April, Madison posted in Miami for her birthday and also saw her friends who moved there and her mom and brother flew out for to celebrate with her. I was really confused when I saw her stories because Provy wasn’t there at all (she still posted about him, even when everything was going down) and this had happened before he was traded. Granted, the week before, he was with her in Nashville but she didn’t even acknowledge that he wouldn’t be there for her birthday in Miami or celebrating her birthday, like how other couples would do.

The next big thing I noticed is that she went on vacation with Provy to Hawaii earlier this month and in one of the pictures on her insta story, you could see a bit of her engagement ring. Then a few days later, she had posted pictures of them together, almost confirming the engagement because the ring was more noticeable (but she didn’t say in the caption that she was engaged and she got a bunch of comments congratulating her engagement). She also posted more pictures of her in Hawaii later on this month and then today, all of those pictures from Hawaii were gone. She still has pictures of her and Provy together from earlier this year and the past. I’m a bit confused as to why she would take the Hawaii stuff down. Do you think he gave her a promise ring instead of an engagement ring and she got upset about it? Is this a quiet signal of trouble in paradise or am I reading too much into it?

The other thing that kinda throws me off a little about their relationship is the timing. She interned with the Flyers in 2018 and by All-Star Break 2019, she and Provy were on vacation together. I know it’s not a workplace violation or fireable offense for that to happen but who knows if she had secretly been messing around with him during her internship.

Frankly, I don't know anything about him beyond his religious statements, so I am solely relying on the information you have just given me here - feel free to correct me if I mess some of the facts up.

Some WAGs tend to take a bunch of their photos down every once in a while - whether it is because they don't suit their account's current aesthetic, because they no longer think they look good in them, I have no idea, but it certainly isn't an odd occasion. In this case, it seems like it might not have been an engagement ring and they didn't want any rumors about their alleged engagement to spread on the internet, or maybe she posted them without his knowledge and when he found out he told her that he doesn't want their engagement to be this public. I really don't have any other reasonable scenarios that would explain why she deleted them so suddenly.

They probably were messing around with each other already during her internship since it was the place they met and interacted first (I seriously don't believe someone, let alone an NHL player, would be willing to wait with f*cking someone just to refrain from breaking job regulations) - once again, this is a normal thing to happen basically everywhere.

Personally, I don't see that much weird stuff in this. The same stuff and even significantly worse one (ask Lauren Kyle about the McDavid cheating video or Svetlana about the entire Nichushkin and dr*gged girl scandal) happens to every other NHL couple.

#nhl #nhl players #nhl gossip #i. provorov

[veys-mood-of-mentalbreakdown]

Aaaaalright i feel like this would probably be perfect for r/amitheasshole but i couldnt be bothered to put it on reddit. But I’ll formulate it like i would if i posted it there (EDIT: tried to post it to r/AITA but it wouldnt let me cuz its over 3000 characters)

Am i the asshole for wanting to tell a birthday party guest to not come anymore

This weekend March 11th 2023 the body will be 19 years old, to celebrate this we’re having our first actual birthday party with friends. We’ve invited 5 friends and all of them are coming some of them also sleep over as they come from far. Including the person id love to tell that they arent welcome anymore, we’ll call this person K.

As i said before this is the first time we ever thrown a party, so we are understandably stressed to get everything perfect. We don’t ask for help of the guest because we want to get it all ready ourselves (which as of now we have succeeded in and almost have everything ready).

K from day one started complaining about everything and anything. First it was about alcohol. About if we had vodka, and if we had different vodka than a certain brand because they only like that kind of stuff. Then it was about food, constantly making a problem about the snacks ans foods we were getting, i would share screenshots but i cant for privacy reasons so i’ll put it down as a list

- will there be enough food?

Yes there will be enough food

- will it be cold or warm, we only like to have warm food for dinner

We will make sure there will be cold and warm foods and foods you can eat both cold and warm

- yea but will there be enough

Yes there will be enough

- snacks dont sound like food to me

We call it snacks because we’re going to get tapas like dishes, meaning many different kinds of food

- will there be enough??

Yes K there will be enough

- i just dont have a right feeling about this

About what? The party or the food?

- the food at the party, i have a bad gut feeling about this

She then also started getting upset about the people we invited to our birthday party and the fact some of them are system’s like us (she is fully aware we are a system) saying that she thinks it’s going to be too much to handle, which i can get, i just don’t understand why she didnt tell us up front and said she wasnt going to come instead of getting angry at us for it.

She then said it would be a rollercoaster of emotions for her, and wanted to have a moment where she could just talk to our host privately about her emotional baggage at our host’s birthday party, and ofcourse like the good friend our host is, he agreed to play therapist because he’s afraid she’ll leave and bitch about him to others.

We made a playlist for music for the party, inviting everyone that will come to add music so theres a bit of everyone’s music tastes, we asked if everyone could add party vibe music and asked to not add music sorts that are triggering to us or others coming to the party (we specified what triggers us and asked everyone to specify if they have any music that can be negatively triggering)

Full knowing this, K asked us if she can add Reggae and added a few too, knowing full well that this is one of the things that is highly triggering to our host as one of the big ab*sers in our life only ever listened to that stuff, they got upset when we told them rather not and then our host said “okay but not too many, 1 or 2” to satisfy her, knowing it would most likely cause flashbacks of some sort. She then said “you know what its your party” and deleted it from thw playlist under the condition that she gets to have moments at the party where she can listen to her own music, which fine by us ig.

She then said she wasnt sure if she was going to come after all because of all the things she spoke about before that made her feel uncomfortable and feel it might be too much for her weren’t fixed. So we said alright.

Then she said she knew it would be too much for her and said she was going to come later.

I really want to tell her in a polite manner that she needs to fuck off and isnt welcome anymore at the party, she single handedly made the pressure and stress so high and blames us for it when we told her we were handling it and it was stressing us out.

After which she also said “im sorry, i feel like im too much in our business”

So are we (am i personally) the asshole for wanting to tell her she no longer is welcome?

#did #osdd #did system #dissociative personality disorder #alter #dream smp fictive #dream smp #fictive #r/aita #am i the asshole?

[lordoftablecloths]

vent post i guess i dont know i just wanted to write stuff down instead of just go ing to bed and crying over it you can just scroll past it

im fine im sane im noramal im so unbleiveably cringe ,, the only person i have irl- fuck, or even online for that matter- to show the dumbass things i write is my silly little dumbass younger brother who doesn;t understand what im trying to get at and i guess its not his fault, i seriously doubt he's spent unhealthy amounts of time making various short scenerios in his head about charcters he came up with and eventually trying to give them a story and write little things about them in google docs because where else am i supposed to put this and its just ,, he doesnt know wht im trying to do and i dont know how to explain it to him because the "history" i gess behind it is so fucking complicated by now that these characters arent even the same characters as they were when i originally created them, other than some physical attributes and their names and he just knows them as the random cringe shit i made up in middle school but so many years have passed by now that these stupid fuckers whose only purpose to serve is to make me stop remembering that i exist and ive gotten too attatched to them because who else was i supposed to get attatched to when i was going through an identity crisis at the time- and, quite frankly, still fucking am- and it was so much easier to pretend i dont exist and just project my flaws and insecurities and underlying subconcsious thoughts into these charactes that no one knows about except me and oh god im just created a long ass vent post on tumblr that no one's going to read and no one understands the story behind fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck whatever ill go ahead and post this unfinished thing because no one's going to get it either way ill probably delete it later if it doesnt get buried under reblogs

dont think too much about this i just got sad because my brother was giving me a bunch of criticism on an outline of a story i was working on- which is fair, i need to take criticism- but he only knows the characters in it as their semi-formed cringe versions so i chickened out half way and now i feel bad because i was really proud of this thing for the whopping span of like one day before i decided to show it to another human person instead of letting it rot away inside of me like i usually do and now i feel bad about my writing skills

im trying so hard to just take his words with a grain of salt because this kid does not have nearly as much experience with writing as i do, but i feel like im copying too many of my inspirations (DnD, generic fantasy story about defeating evil creature, silly tropes, etc,,) which sucks because that was just like the first two pages of the outline and theres nine fucking pages and like the second half of it was what i put the most effort into and i felt like the ideas were really origianl but i could make myself let him naturally get to that part of the outline because i was starting to feel really bad and wieerd and oh god he is looking at ideas i havent ever expressed to another human person even though i am very familaiar with because i came up with them and they havebeen in my head for at least a year or two by now and have been haunting me ever since so instead of skipping ahead to the parts that were really good in my opinion but would have made no sense without context i just told him to piss off i gues s

i dont know. i feel dumb. i feel stupid. ive put so much effort into this stuff and the concept that ive been wasting my time feels like too heavy of a weight to handle. god none of this porbobably nmakes any sense ,,,,,,,,, i guess this is why i feel miserable when the fanart and shitpost memes i post get a comically larger audience and attention than the art relating to my silly goofy ocs, because these stupid fucking characters are all thats keeping me going . call me cringe, but is it still cringe if the concept that maybe i too can be around people that love me and instead of having to like me in spite of my faults love me for them keeps me from fucking killing myself is it still cringe?

if a tree falls in a forest and no one's around, does its fall even make a sound? (shit piss fuck sorry i dont remember the original quote and all i can remember is tha t one line from that one musical i dont remember what it was)

if an autistic moron that cant even talk to a cashier without having a panic attack makes a universe full of fictional characters of his own cfreation then an alternate universe, then several alternate universes, then a spin off from that original universe and etc etc but its all just on google fucking docs and no where else except deleted excerpts from a dead wattpad account, did he ever even create anything at all?

its pointless. its all so fucking pointless. its a waste of time. why do i do this at all. its so fucking pointless. it makes no fucking sense. you cant just make a story with characters in it, then make a fucking fantasy au of that universe with the same characters but with different designs and wildly different personalities and then make a whole fucking complicated lore-filled story about the fantasy au version while the original universe's story is still left mostly unfinished like forget about a first draft of the text i havent even finished the first ddraft of the outline yet buckarooooooo

okay fuck you guys thats all i want to tell you im going to go pretend to myself to try to go to sleep and then cry now

#vent #i guess #sorry for saying fuck you guys yall are the only keeping me together and making me feel like i have any importance at all #long post

[klapollo]

hey kai, I'm sorry to hear about you losing your job. i really hope things take a turn for the better for you very soon! it's a tough life to get away from; as someone who was forced into homelessness to escape shitty parents, i really do understand where you're coming from.

that being said, i'm not sure it's a very good idea to use your situation to emotionally manipulate (truly sorry for using that phrasing) people into subscribing. they'd be there not because they like your videos, but because they feel bad for you. that's an artificial inflation of your sub count made of people who may not even watch your videos and will likely end up unsubscribing later on. I looked at the number you currently have and that's kind of a really large amount of people needed to get you to the threshold. Youtube doesn't pay out until you reach a certain amount of money earned and it's dependent on views. maybe in the very short term it miiiight work if youtube does back payment on those few videos you have that got decent views. however, i'm not confident that it's a good long term plan and i don't want that for you. you seem like a pretty decent person, even though I do not know you. perhaps it'd be a better idea to emphasize promoting the kinds of things you make videos for/about and why it's worth a look? at least then the people who subscribe will stay for you and the things you make rather than just because of pity.

it's really not a bad thing to otherwise ask for help with money if you need the help. i don't know where you're from, but I'm sure there must be resources within your regional community that could help give you a leg up or at least point you in the right direction to help you find more work or help with short term expenses. sorry i don't have any better advice. your situation is tough. i just worry you'll get hate or something for the way you've gone about asking people to subscribe, although it's probably unlikely you will. anyway, stay safe and i hope things get better soon ❤️

thanks. i guess i wasnt really trying to manipulate anyone i was more like. just trying to feel like i was doing literally anything proactive about my situation because i dont really want to ask for any direct financial support. i'll delete the post, thanks for the heads up.

[wasyago]

Dear Wasyago,

Strange, I have always thought it was spelled as Wasayago. But recently I've realized, I can't read very well.

I want to send appreciation today, to you.

You've taught me a lot about art. You've taught me a lot how to draw certain things, and you have opened my eyes to new perspective of art, ever since I started following you. Colours are brighter, I experiment more, I can see a specter of visuals that was previously hidden from me. It's like gaining shrimp colors.

Your art feels like an art classroom. There's sun pouring in from the windows, and there's tree leaves in front of them. Every time you come in you see different art projects. Paints add on to the tables, that will never scrub off again. There's dirty cups with paint water, and brushes, in the sink. It's lunch break, and there's people here. Some are just doing their math homework right before class, some are working on their sculpture, some are picking out paints, some are working on their new piece, on a fresh canvas. And it is so alive.

Your art feels so alive. Like the leaves, the people, the stains. It's really nice to see, every single time you post, how lovingly you bring a character into the world (My favorite so far is that one doodle of Modern au Gillion eating noodles, I have it in my favorites gallery).

I would like to see some unfinished, maybe forever to be so, doodles that you weren't especially proud of. We'll love it all.

Respectfully,

Marcus Bloodsmith

oh, thank you so much, this is so sweet qwq

im happy to know that you feel this way about my art, and im glad i could help you with some advice! it feels a bit weird to show unfinished or scrapped art under such a nice message, but yeah why not. and its funny that you mentioned the gillion eating noodles one, because its also one of the pieces that i really didn't like and didn't want to post hdgsh. i dont have that many unfinished drawings left because i delete or redraw most of them, but i have a couple that might be fun to share... and i guess it's gonna be a long post bc i wanna tell a little about each one or at least name them.

there's this art of chip, the first time i properly tried to figure out a way to draw him back when i just started listening. redrew this piece later, kept the sketch on the left, but the right one i changed completely because i didn't like the vibe this one has.

there's this attempt at redesigning caspian after i found out he was a water genasi, plus the first version of that art of caspian, pretzel and gill. this design didn't feel "caspian" enough, it looked too soft and kind where i wanted him to be more layed back and chill and sarcastic and with a bit of an edge. redrew both pieces later. the underwater drawing also has an unfinished background in this version, i added some fishies later so it didn't feel that empty.

some random sketch of gillion to show off how the lightning scars look on his face and neck. i quite like it, but it didn't really fit in the post with three proper drawings and one sketch so i decided to scrap it.

there's this drawing where i tried to figure out how the capital of the undersea looked like. i really didn't know where i was going with it and didn't have a good idea when i started drawing, so its a mess of things with nothing to really focus on. i tried to add a character on it later to breathe some life into it, but it didn't work out since i didn't focus it on the character from the beginning. plus i don't like how the colors turned out, and the entire concept of the environment feels weak and boring to me. i still want to draw more concepts of the undersea and try a couple other ideas, but probably at a later date...

the first version of whatever try it was to design gill's armor. (fun fact, i have more armor designs scheduled for tomorrow). this one i redrew almost immediately, i really didn't like how it turned out and how the legs were cut off and it looked so messy with no real accent point or personality. plus the smaller copy of the drawing in the corner just didn't look good. im not exactly proud of the redrawn version either (that's why i did another one yesterday lol), but im glad i redrew it anyway, it looks a lot better than this one.

the first sketch of that one gillion drawing. i couldn't figure out the colors for it for so long and wanted to drop the idea entirely. but i left it to sit for a couple hours and eventually got the motivation to come back to it and finish it. for most of the illustration pieces i did for jrwi there were multiple versions, where i just didn't like the first one and redrew the whole thing with a different composition and colors. didn't save any of those drawings tho...

this drawing of jay but with green wings and a slightly different color shirt. it was actually the first version of this drawing, and i changed the colors to blue later. wanted to post both of them side by side but then decided against it. that's why this drawing survived and was properly saved and not just deleted.

more recent attempts at designing the chaingel. i like the concept, and the pose in the second sketch is pretty badass, but the execution is just not there. it doesn't feel right, doesn't have the right kind of vibe that this character gives off. so im sure i will try and draw her later when i figure out what's missing and how to show her personality in the way it feels in my head. but these two sketches were never going to see the light of day, so now they're here.

aand this is it, this is everything that wasn't deleted in the past month for one or another reason. i feel like im more chill with deleting and redrawing things, so a lot of initial sketches and concepts never get saved or seen by anyone. im also on mobile so i can attach only ten files lol. not that it matters, the last two were just random figure drawings for warm up, not much to talk about.

#very sorry to the tagging anon but im not tagging this as jrwi. this is just nothing. #yagotalk