#i wonder what she’s been working on

[vestigesofperversion]

So turns out Imogen is allergic to the moon

😷 😶

#rip laura’s voice #i wonder what she’s been working on #that got her so ragged #fertile ground for sam trolling #critical role #cr3 #cr3 spoilers #cr3 ep51 #laura bailey #lost voice #malleus key arc #ruidis #ruidis arc #cr shitpost

[be-an-echo]

Merry Christmas guyyyss🎄

#merry christmas beautiful people #hope you're enjoying it as much as these two #let's admit tess cannot bake #she's learning in jackson but joel is still the one doing do cooking #as u can see it's for her own safety #oh and the first one? well it's up to you what happened there #u know it's funny how i always forget to draw some detail i really wanted to add and then remember a week later with OHHHH WHY #im wondering... what it is this time :D #i miss christmas... they are not what they used to be and im “forced” to spend them at work wearing shitty clothes my boss wants #i swear one more thing and im not only quitting my job but also attacking my employer #just kidding but f@*k bartending #sorry but its been a lot #tess servopoulos #joel miller #joel x tess #tess tlou #joel tlou #tessjoel #tess lives #why is it always end of the tags where i unleash this?

[mortellanarts]

Hmm... Akane witch design courtesy of Umineko brainrot anyone? 😳

#look at that tiny junepei sketch I think it's cute #I really want to make a full drawing of her? but you know needed to lay down the design like this first so I know it well before posing #and well wips I have to finish other wips first I have one of Santa and one of Clover taking me forever to finish #but they're turning out pretty slay it's gonna be worth it 😤 #and haha what's that? a thousand other ideas I have no clue the order in which I'll work on hmmmm...... #including like wanting to redesign my zwg redesigns #oh well qwq #silly doodle tag #also it's hard to tell with umineko witches but I feel like I overworked this one and there's too much going on? tried to bring aspects of #allll of her canon designs while giving her a hermit witch of the forest vibe as well it might have been too much? #hm what would she be the witch of I wonder #akane kurashiki #zero escape spoilers

[samarecharm]

I should add poledancing to the list of odd talents that Akira has but has no business having due to growing up in a small suburban town. I only had access to it bc i had a YMCA that had a MASSIVE gym (in a criminally underfunded part of the city); there were poles put up alongside some other structures to allow counselors to make up some shit for us to do lmao

Hes got a flair about him; speaking from experience, it is FUN to do gymnastic shit like that, and its really really REALLY good for ur core. Other things on the list are basic gymnastics (he hates that shit tho, the classes he took sucked ass), Parkour (loves this; less about running and more about utilizing ur core and bracing for falls), and Knife Flipping/Spinning. Theyre all odd things that coincidentally ended up being VERY good experience for the metaverse :) YEAH the metaverse makes it easier to pull off tricks, but he already knew how to do all those things; you cant get Ryuji or Yusuke to spin kick off a pole wo having them fall and bust their ass- Its ALL skill babey

#chattin #akira #i also hc him as someone who Can do yoga but hates doing it alone bc its boring #but he LIVES off of attention #and being good at doing extreme yoga poses will give u ppls undivided attention LMAO #hes like. before i learn this thing. is it Cool? and will it make people say ‘what the fuck?’ out loud? #i feel like he wouldnt tell anyone about anything voluntarily #ann makes a comment about pole dancing bc shes seen some of the older models do it #and it just seems so impossibly out of reach for her. and hes like. do u have a trainer? i could help #‘what do u mean help???’ ‘what else would that mean? help you Do the Thing bc i know how to Do it’ #ann is the only person whos seen it outside of the metaverse. hes a bit clumsy w more extreme poses but hes good at spinning :)! #she manages to get herself upside down and they both scream in shock and joy #the whole time ive been writing im like. i wonder if theres some people i can find in my area #im working out again and pole dancing would be fun #or rock climbing tbh #i just like climbin on shit like a little monkey lol

[enhanced-operatives-division]

I finally figured out how to draw her,,,

#i wanted to jump for joy the first time i got it #i love her sm....... #I've been wanting to doodle her for ages #and now i CAN and it's AMAZING #i hope everything js alright in general sbdhj I don't have anyone i can really ask in terms of getting her features right? #plus i was working off memory but I THINK it's ok #any tips are appreciated but know im literally working with what's in my pencil case 95% of the time #i digress i love her so so so much #she's wonderful #and i hope we get to see her truly happy in game 4 #you have NO IDEA #ieytd #i expect you to die #roxana prism #[agent moose's art]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Congrats on your milestones and thank you for your hard work as always!! 🐎🐎🐎

PIO!!!!!! THIS IS AN ASSASINATION ATTEMPT!!!!! YOU ARE COMING FOR MY LIFE

#submission #other’s art #fanart #???? I GUESS I NEED A TAG FOR THAT NOW? #PIO PIO PIO!!!! THE WAY I YELLED AND TEARED UP (Joyful!) #Ohhh my GOD!!!!! That you so much this is is incredibly sweet ;-; #Look at little apple....she's PERFECT (as expected from the equine master!!!) and the little apples on the saddle...immaculate #I LOVE the way you draw fur btw #it looks so soft!!!! #and AH! THATS ME!!!!! Ohhhhhh my god......I think my brain imploded a bit #THE COWBOY BOOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #theres so many tiny details that are just!!!! AAAAA #Your work is *stunning* and i feel so incredibly honoured to have gotten to know you; short time as it may have been B'*) #Sorry for the rushed comic but I Had To Explain These Feelings In Graphic Form #Its gonna be wild the day you change your icon and ppl look back on this and wonder: #''why is OP of poorly-drawn-mdzs kissing minion sqq on the forehead? What's going on??'' #but its immortalized now! #I hope you know I would follow you anywhere Pio...my life is yours #queuing this cause its really late rn but coincidently its paired up with another sixballs day. Pio day is Real

[good-beanswrites]

I already brought this up, but for quicker reference:

Order of Attack: Mahiru nightmare sequence about Kotoko's attacks. Gotta round out the guilty trio.

Feel free to not prioritize this. :D

LISTEN, I CAN'T BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE ANGST THAT YOU REQUEST (<- made myself sad over Mappi and worries I may be in trouble for this one). Obligatory "I don't hate Kotoko and think she's very complex but from these character's pov I had to make her solely scary I'm sorry." And of course I was prioritizing this 👀👀👀 I really loved your nightmare sequences, I tried to make one that completed the set but was still unique!! Thank you for the request >:3

TW for referencing her bf's suicide, and descriptions of the attack injuries

“Aw, come on, you can tell me~” Yuno turned her attention away from where she’d been helping Mahiru with dinner. “Both Fuuta and Amane have had nightmares about her. Hell, I’ve had a nightmare or two about her. I won’t think you’re a mean person for admitting it.”

“I’m not lying,” Mahiru insisted. Her lips rounded into a little pout.

Yuno studied her expression. The girl had a way of really looking at someone when she wanted to. Sometimes it was a wonderful feeling – her gaze could be full of understanding, warmth. You were seen. You were heard. She saw you for all that you were. 

But in times like these, Mahiru found herself shifting under the pressure of it. Yuno was truly seeing her. She could see how Mahiru’s smile was frozen in its forced shape these past few weeks. She could see the way she flinched at loud noises, or how all the blood drained from her face when Kotoko’s voice echoed from the room next door. In waking, there was no doubt Mahiru was afraid of her. In sleep, though…

Yuno took her hands in both of hers.

“Then… what do you dream about?”

—

Mahiru was in the woods. She was running, her feet bare, her breath hitching. 

At first, she thought she was fleeing something. Danger and death loomed around her. The trees closed in. The canopy plunged her into darkness. The branches reached out to tear at her flowered dress, or snag on her hair. The trees pressed close to suffocate her. She grabbed at her throat. 

At some point, it became clear she was running towards something. A figure came into her view, just ahead. Though he didn’t appear to be running, she couldn’t catch up to him. She had to. He was in danger. She had to get to him. She had to stop him. 

He entered a clearing up ahead. Mahiru could just barely see into it. She tried to scream out, begging him to stop, but no words came out of her wheezing mouth. She could stop everything, she could stop all of this, if only –

She burst through the clearing. The figure, now a young woman, stood in the center. She faced away. 

Mahiru tried again to tell Kotoko to stop, but it didn’t matter whether or not she could speak, now; it was too late. 

On the ground below, between tree roots and scattered leaves, lay two small bodies.  

Mahiru’s hands flew to cover her mouth. Her legs grew weak with horror. There was blood everywhere, and bones bent at wrong angles. Fuuta’s limbs were twisted and limp. Amane had curled herself to cover her face, blood streaming from between her fingers.

 Kotoko, too, had red-stained hands. She surveyed her work with pride.

“What… have you done…?”

Slowly, Kotoko turned. Mahiru wanted to turn around and run before those bloodthirsty eyes could land on her. Her legs stayed frozen in place even as her heart raced in her chest. 

Kotoko met her gaze. Then, she gave a gentle smile.

“Thank you.”

Mahiru stumbled back a few steps.

“You let this happen.” 

“No…”

“You did. You could have stopped this, but you didn’t. Thank you.”

“I-I didn’t –! This isn’t – ! I thought –”

“You knew this was going to happen.” She spoke a familiar name, and Mahiru shook her head violently. “You knew what he was planning. You had plenty of chances to stop him. You didn't. You knew what I was planning. You know how to calm people down, how to bring groups together. But you didn’t speak to me once about it. You wanted this to happen.”

“I didn’t!” She said it frantically, unsure if she was trying to convince Kotoko, the two beaten prisoners, herself, or someone else. “I didn’t.” The statement was true, but it didn’t change anything that Kotoko had said.

The forest closed in. Kotoko reached a hand out, beckoning to her.

“We make a good team, don’t we?”

“No…” 

Mahiru was struck with the thought that she didn’t want to take hold of such a disgusting hand, only to glance down at her own. They were just as slick with blood. She let out a shriek.

It was Amane’s. It was Fuuta’s. It was his. 

Mahiru’s legs finally gave out on her. When she looked up, Kotoko was still smiling.

“So… who will be next?” 

—

Mahiru slipped away from Yuno’s grasp. 

“Oh, don’t you worry about little old me!” She turned back to their work. She brushed her hands off on her apron, giving them an extra swipe for good measure. “I promise, Kotoko isn’t the villain in my dreams.”

#milgram #mahiru shiina #yuno kashiki #kotoko yuzuriha #i kept it in the order i got everything but i was definitely thinking of it nonstop adfsdf #im forever crazy about mahiru's murder-through-inaction theme #since all of the others were pretty direct even if accidental #i firmly believe she knew what her bf was planning and didnt stop him/actively said shed join him because she didnt know how to handle #the situation properly #and if she prides herself so much on being good with people and making friends and bringing people together i wonder if shed feel #responsible for not deescalating kotoko beforehand #plus the more immediate survivors guilt that if she was just in the other room maybe it would have been her and not fuuta/amane #at first i wanted to work in more mv symbols (birds cake carousel horses) because i love wacky and surreal dream sequences #but it got to be distracting when i was planning it out lmao so i decided to stick with the two major trauma moments #vibing on my trip rn but i had just a few lines of this one to finish so i wanted to post it when i had a few minutes... #though now i need to go and pretend im not crying over mappi 😭😭😭😭😭 #drabbles #order of attack #(to go back and make it an official tag later)

[beans-and-shet]

"Welcome home, Aoyama-kun!"

Aka Masaya surprises Ichigo by completing his abroad program and coming home early.

#tokyo mew mew #ichisaya #ichigo momomiya #masaya aoyama #yes I’m still here #got some ideas still coming down the pipeline #just been really busy and stressed lately #but yeah I wish we could get a canon reunion like this #Masaya would probably still need to travel a lot for his work but I think it’d be shorter stretches of time than the abroad program #and especially while he’s so young he’d probably do more of them and ichigo would even come along for a few #and when he’s ready to settle down and have a family he’d do more domestic research and work #I could even see him being a professor at some point #I think these two do a lot of shuffling with their careers but they always make it work in the end depending on what their needs are #my dumb art #Oh also for that second page if anyone is wondering why she’s on top of him #that’s cause I headcanon she likes to lie on top of him in her sleep #Like she does it unconsciously #so he got back and saw she was sleeping and settled down in the bed next to her waiting for her to wake up and she just did that lol #I have another comic showing the same headcanon

[girls-and-honey]

.

#okay so random tag post even though it's been ages #me thinks the current place i work is actually decent a la accepting-queer-ppl so?? miiiiight. consider actually putting my #pronouns in my email signature (which hardly gets used but shh) but like. the actual ones not the society/people assume anyway ones #idk i attended a virtual tech focused event for trans dov (yes early but they didn't want to put the event on sun) and you know when #everyone is just sharing their stories and experiences and it's just like... an overwhelming sense of community? anyway that #and since it was hosted by a professional org the topics were all workplace focused and mayhaps that's something i'm thinking abt for #this year. at least within our pride group I might be ready? wild bc for a long time tumblr has been the only place I feel comfy being 100% #myself. but hearing real people's stories makes me feel like that kind of community would be nice to have elsewhere too #and the whole looking to others also turns around into the leading by example thing bc then we had some breakout groups at the end for #networking which is not my favorite but! i did my intro and said I use she/her for work but will use she/they for this group and #then the next person said he/him at work but for this group he/they so that made me wonder if it was bc of me saying so first? #which if it was is kind of like oh. the way I'm looking for those people for me.. I can also be that for someone else #anyway this sounds dumb typed out but irl/professional me has always separated out queer identity so it's new to me #i'm allowed to be giddy okay. just a little. as a treat (is tumblr still using 'as a treat' i really hope so) #oh shit is this what gender euphoria feels like #alright that's it for now i think #gah emotions and whatnot #missed you all btw i'll start actually being online again soon #personal

[problemswithbooks]

Is Cat a Kind of Inntinnsic?

The answer, the one I'm sure the author would give, would be no. The story in no way treats Cat's Gift as an Inntinnsic ability. Violet and particularly Xaden don't act as if what she does is at all similar to what an Inntinnsic does.

But I'd argue it has to be in order for it to work.

Because everything is first person from Violet's PoV or a rare chapter from Xaden, I sort of doubt the author really sat down and thought of how certain characters powers would work. If she did, i think she'd have realized Cat's Gift would function similarly to Xaden's second signet.

Cat can manipulate emotions. We're told she can't force someone to feel something they don't, but instead amplify what they do feel. On the surface that doesn't seem anything like an Inntinnsic ability. Where things become more complicated is how she uses that power.

If Cat can't implant an emotion, then she has to know what emotions the person is feeling. Sure, she could just be throwing her ability at people and seeing what sticks, or it could work in broad strokes; emotions overlap, so maybe any negative emotion can be made increasingly worse, while a good one amplified into pure elation.

I'd argue though that her power doesn't seem that broad, instead being pretty focused. Violet was easy to read so it wouldn't even have been hard to read that she hated Cat, and Cat threw out insults during their fight to make sure Violet is more susceptible to her Gift.

But the Venin she goes after at the end of the book wasn't as easy a read. She doesn't know this Venin. She's bragging and boastful, but whose to say that's greed and not pride? Or even done as a way to taunt Violet and make her more afraid?

Yet Cat manipulates the Venin without much difficulty, seeming to know exactly what emotions she's feeling without any trouble.

There's also the issue where people are generally feeling more then one emotion at a time. Violet is always in love with Xaden, but she can also be annoyed with him. Emotions aren't something that are felt one at a time--so how does Cat pick which one to manipulate without knowing instinctively what they're feeling?

I think it's very likely that Cat can either sense what people are feeling, or even see it (I'm thinking sort of like auras) and from there use her power to exaggerate which ever one she wants. It just makes the most sense.

But if that is the case, similar to how Xaden can read people's impulses and intentions, Cat could read their emotions. Now, that's not exactly mind reading, but Xaden's power isn't strictly reading minds either, yet he count's as an inntinnsic. To me what seems to make someone Inntinnsic is that they have no outward tell or rule for using their powers--they can just do it.

Dain isn't an inntinnsic because he requires touch to activate his memory seeing. As long as he does not touch you, you are safe from his ability.

Meanwhile, what makes inntinnsics such a security risk, is that they can activate their signet at anytime without anyone's knowledge. Xaden seems to be using his second signet constantly to read everyone, and no one has ever picked up on it at all.

In a way Cat's Gift seems to be similar in that she can use it without a hard and fast rule. She can just do it. If it works by letting her sense people's emotions, she could be constantly reading people Xaden does, but instead for intent, it's for their emotional state.

Does that not make her power Inntinnsic? Or at least Inntinnsic adjacent?

#fourth wing #iron flame #the empyrean #xaden riorson #catriona cordella #Cat Cordella #idk i find her power interesting #and thinking about how it works and looks to her as she uses it #made me realize it would probably function similarly to Xaden's inntinnsic ability #which means that both of them would have known that neither of them liked each other #the entire time they were together #at least if Cat was a flier back then #the time line seems a little wonky on that front #it says most gryphon Gifts involve mind work #which kind of makes me wonder if maybe poromeil wouldn't kill inntinnsics #since that seems to be something that their people would get way more often #and unlike the Dragon Riders they're not fabricating an entire history #I sort of doubt Yarros would write that #but damn it's kind of a wasted opportunity #the drama when the two sides join together and the Fliers have to expain that #'yeah we have people who fit into the Inntinnsic category and we're fine with them' #but if she did that Xaden's second signet wouldn't be that special #and it wouldn't have been such a big deal when he told Violet about it #since she probably would have already been dealing with people like that already #but that does beg the question what the fuck else mind work is?

[deus-ex-mona]

series i’m gatekeeping from my family vs series i’m ✨ok✨ with my family knowing i’m into:

#‘why do you gatekeep hw from your irls?’ well. the thing is. i just ✨don’t want to✨ #and. like. i’ve already led my family to believe that i bought bl manga when i was buying idol sengen at animate #so i think im already past the point of no return in that regard. so. um. yeah. #thank you village vanguard for the unexpected μ’s content in 2k24 you truly are yappa saikyou #i s w e a r falling back into my ll phase almost 10 whole years after i first got into it is unexpected tbh #compounded with the fact that i can now actually afford whatever im looking for. so. like. my wallet is in crisis lol #i had just reached my savings goal last month but now i’ve overspent bc i saw great deals on resold honoka-chan hoodies and i couldn’t help— #so now i have 2 identical hoodies lol. but i’ll keep one of them safe in its packaging bc im unwell like that ig #my merch whaling is out of control i s w e a r but my oshis are just too cute aaaaaaaaa #i probably should open another savings account instead… maybe that’d keep my spending under control… #b u t for now honoka-chan jersey im looking for you #tfw ur oshi is decently unpopular amongst the fans so hardly anyone resells her merch lmao #so ig the relatively fewer fellow fans she has are more dedicated to her than fans of other more popular characters lol #but at least her stuff (when resold) isn’t as overpriced as the actually popular members (birb and tomato) #so my wallet isn’t crying as hard as it could’ve been? ig? hunting for almost 10 year old merch is a pain fr though #either way. the grip idol series have on my wallet is truly insane #i wonder how many bags of chips i could’ve bought with the amount i’ve spent on hw and ll merch to date… #at least a thousand… i think. maybe even 2 thousand if my past gacha game whaling is taken into consideration… #…this is probably why it’s important to have a decent paying job ig. #oh well. at least i may be making b a n k this month with how much ot i’ve had to do this week so far… #i hope i won’t have to work till 5am again over the next 2 days… that had been a horrible experience. #help what am i even talking about anymore why am i having a life crisis right here and now u m. #anyways. dni if you dislike honoka-chan. thanks for coming to my crisis rant. see you when the last stage mv drops ig ok byeeeee

[teaandinanity]

It continues to give me the warm fuzzies that basically every person at work has said they'll miss me. And it's not really utility, even if I'm useful; I am not in a critical position. There are many people who can do the things I do, even if the majority are less experienced. I'm not management, or a lynchpin, just a long-time worker bee.

But people like me, and I just handled a Crisis Situation well enough that the AD took the time to personally thank me, and my manager was like 'not only am I willing to be a reference you can use my personal phone number if that's easier' and even some of the newest additions said they're going to miss me on desk, and I just.

I love my job and my coworkers and it's really nice that the people there know it and love me back.

#I told mom about Crisis Situation #and tonight when dad got home she was like COME IN AND TELL YOUR DAD #and then both of them were like WHEN COMPANY COMES NEXT WEEK TELL THEM TOO #haha #I mean dad did follow it up with 'no you may not drive across the country alone we will figure something out' #I'm gonna work on him about it we tried the thing where all of us are in one vehicle #Tuesday screamed the whole time and mom wanted to kill her and also me #I shall remind him of that #I think he will probably come around #if I could convince someone to come with I would probably make it an actual road trip #'come to TX for the eclipse!' #'we will drive through the deep south and hit some Neat Shit and then go up the coast!' #like you could make that a fun drive #I'm not gonna do the long version if I'm solo tho bc my parents are convinced I will be murdered #which is silly; I have not infrequently been in Situations and strangers have been kind #also the odds of getting strangermurdered for no damn reason are SO low #and the incentives to murder Me Specifically are also very low #and if a white cishet-passing woman dies 90% of the time it's a romantic partner and I'm aroace so like #I really wonder what they're imagining is gonna happen #babble tea (blacklist this for less chatter) #tea writes tag novels

[chloeseyeliner]

what the fuck??!

why is uni filled with so much drama?

i just want to study, work, exercise, figure out how to handle my finances and what to eat, sleep, write fanfiction that's never going to see the light of day, walk with nature surrounding me, be grumpy inside because the bus is over-crowded, take part in research, repeat.

why?

i can't do this.

i really hate drama. i have never been involved in it. ANY TIPS? 🤡🤦🏻‍♀️

#don't mind me #was just about to sleep because i have to run errands tomorrow #and this girl i posted about two weeks ago who i hanged out with today just. #seems to hate me??? for some reason #and i hate it #like i said before #i know when i fuck up #and i actually consider myself a quite mature persob #and she seems to genuinely enjoy herself today #and she laughed at my jokes and all that #so i thought we were friends again #and then i come home and i do some work #only to find a message from her an hour later #saying to not make fun of her #and now she is posting weird stuff on instagram??? #what is happening #what is this #can't she just... talk to me? if any of this concerns me? #i am sorry #i am not playing the victim i just have been rejected by friends quite a few times because i was too quiet #and now that i finally talked and had feeling conversations (regarding her feelings i mean) and thought we were okay #someone is about to reject me again? #god. #my best friend still loves me so that's- quite selfishly- validating #and my other friend who is friends with this girl likes me too #and they are wonderful people #anyway #vent post #seriously don't mind me #i just cannot stop thinking

[witchofthemidlands]

tales of the tardis is enough for me, it is, it really is, after all those years, jamie & zoe finally got their memories back & if that's the last we see of jamie mccrimmon that was fantastic, it was more than enough, there is & now will always be a conclusion

but

if i had to bring any classic who companion back to new (new?) who it would be jamie, it would always be jamie because the idea of jamie meeting a modern doctor sends me just a tad feral, just a a little bit balls to the wall feral.

#jamie mccrimmon #even though i would sell my soul to sarah jane imagine jamie in school reunion #can you imagine if jamie had been in the giggle #i dont know how they would have transported him through time but #yet i think about him being there and meeting fourteen and donna #fourteen sees him and just stops working #donna sees him looking at jamie and she hasnt seen the doctor look at anyone like that aside from rose #she said it was like a furnace looking back at the time she was the doctordonna but when she was the doctordonna i have always thought #she must have seen the doctors memories of jamie i headcanon she saw those memories quite clearly #i wonder if the doctor ever thought about what the time lords did to jamie when he had to wipe donnas mind #imagine donna and jamie interacting #donna wants to dropkick the time lords #donna and jamie being there when the bi regeneration happens jamie is with him this time they wont be torn apart again #apparently all doctors have been hatched across the galaxy the bi regen was the miracle of rebirth #so jamie does leave fourteen and donna #but we see him running towards a different tardis that just landed #because as soon as two was respawned i just know he went back for jamie #jamie gets to spend the rest of his life with his doctor #i love mel i love her i love her i love her but she just pops to earth here and there because glitz isnt gone 😩 #they are still causing havoc in space together #i know his actor passed away but it still hit me hard knowing the character is now gone too 🥺 #he may have been an antagonist at various points but that dude was snazzy #classic who #doctor who #whoniverse #this is what happens when i dont sleep for 24 hrs

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought. #i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper #thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times #like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks. #nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she #was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled #a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where #you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder? #but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what #then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student. #everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have #and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my #leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but #i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying #my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound #by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting #better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that #and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path. #one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do #what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it. #maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for. #unrelated

[hellonoblesky]

I hope Ashoka finds Thrawn and Ezra and instead of being like “No you may not have him. Loser” like she expects him to be, Thrawn sees her and practically lights up just “Oh thank literally every single star over Csilla PLEASE take him I need to sit alone for an hour and a half before I can even look at him again, Commander Tano, thank you so much” and then he just lays down and goes to sleep with headphones in

#thrawn #turtledove yells into the abyss #’Ezra what did you do to him??’ ‘Nothing!!! I’ve been normal the whole time!!!’ ‘Ok that’ll do it’ #I also hope he’s like ‘Commander Tano I am a huge fan of your work. Your Marg Sabel maneuver is a wonderful piece of tactical ingenuity’ #and she’s just ‘What the fuck.’