#idk im still researching into it

[qrowscant-art]

i wanted a machine guts sweater/shirt so here are some color tests

#robot #technology #computers #artists on tumblr #digital art #computers are a type of animal i think #thinking of making the square in the middle say something cute... 'be still my beeping heart'? is this anything #2nd one looks like old chease... ill have to do some research but i'd like to make a few of these to sell #im very autistic about the texture and quality of my clothes so idk about uploading these to a PoD site tbh #i got a sweater from my mom's workplace that's really nice so i might email their communications team and ask who their supplier is #mal-art

[starstruckodysseys]

love that gorgug just sounds like. anxious this season bc that was literally me junior year. what do you mean i have to start thinking about my future?? i’m literally just chilling??

#idk why i wrote this like i was a junior so long ago #i’m only five months into my senior year #i started researching colleges in MAY of junior year i was so unprepared #i still am tbh. ignore that i’ve gotten into almost all of the ones i applied to im still unprepared #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #gorgug thistlespring

[peasantexchangeprogram]

no yeah it must really suck for you how nazis "reappropriated" mythos and history that would not have been remotely as mainstream as they are today without white supremacist revival. where the modern perspective and perception of them the very "aesthetic" of them is inextricably tied to white supremacist eugenist ideals im so sorry you cant wear relatively historically uncommon symbols in public without people thinking you believe that they, their family, community, and the mere idea of their existence should be wiped from the face of the earth. that must be so hard for you.

#ppl being annoying abt my dogwhistles post #nazism ment #im really teasing staff rn arent i. i still cant reply/dm #thats why im very very VERY careful w every media/creator/person in general whose interested in hellenic/roman/norse mythology #and yeah ik im describing myself but i do some kind of inspection of that person/media to see if theyre. normal abt it #like i was v hesitant w ac odyssey and im kinda. 🤨 abt the new gow i need to research it a little before i decide if i can play it #ANYWAYS #mine* #^btw when i saw the statues in ac were painted i knew it was good #not that i dont have anything to say abt that game racism-antisemitism-wise #i got things to say abt idk how to call it. 'gender equal' revisionist storytelling but alas

[ririemimo]

// specials spoilers

.

.

Translated the fight scene between xiaotian and azure !! 👀 again there may have been mistakes sooo yeah! i think this is something while we wait for the eng ver to release hehe

#If you seen this on twitter there's a bit of changes here in this one on tumblr #just a little bit tho hehe #like just one sentence heheh #anyway! #there's already a subbed out there idk the link but i saw it flooding around twitter #but i still wanted to translate it #translating things really help with getting some new words out of the language #tho i still rely heavily on a translator i do a lot of research on what the individual characters used may mean #aaaahhh #im rambling now #anyway! (2) #hope it's still understandable lol #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk #lmk sun wukong #qi xiaotian #lmk azure lion #lmk s4 spoilers #lmk s4 special spoilers

[egotisticalmachine]

"self diagnosis is bad!" if a mental health professional caught on to my narcissistic traits then i could not fucking trust that i wouldnt be dehumanized and have that get in the way of getting treatment for other mental health issues i have, i do not trust people with power over me to know if i have npd, because the majority of people view narcissists as inherently abusive subhuman monsters

"if youre gonna self dx at least do a lot of research!" yeah im TRYING but it is insanely difficult to find reliable sources, because whenever i try to look up any information about my symptoms i get flooded with articles about how to spot a narcissist and how to cope with being around a narcissist and why our low empathy makes us actually the worst most irritating most hurtful excuses for people in the world, because the majority of people view narcissists as inherently abusive subhuman monsters

"well i guess narcissists just never seek help!" i need you to look me in the eyes and say that one more time with your whole chest

#turning off reblogs bc i feel like this wasnt worded the best #like idk i dont want it to sound like i didnt research yknow??? bc i did. a lot #but i still had to wade through a lot of shit #<- edit dec 10 2023 #actually npd #like there is a REASON it took me so long to notice this about myself #in comparison to being able to recognize other maladaptive patterns #because it is so Fucking Difficult to find ANY resources that actually talk about the underlying issues of npd #in particular the self esteem dysregulation #and the ways it can be expressed beyond overt grandiosity #im not someone who can get praised for grandiosity! i have to be fucking humble! #i know i meet the criteria for npd according to multiple diagnostic outlines so. idk man lol #i dont have the time or words to explain my frustration just. FUCK lol im fine #ableism cw

[stuckinapril]

might have a parisian girl era soon. we’ll see

#uncle who lives in belgium knows i graduated a year early + currently studying for the mcat #and he’s practically begging me to visit him in belgium and study there #and belgium is only around 2 hours away from paris so you best believe id be taking the train there every day #the thing is i study full time & only have a minimal part time job on the side so he and my mom would have to foot that bill #and idk i’d feel so bad. i’m already so spoiled. like i never had to work a day in my life but im 21 #it’s very much in arab culture to spoil the daughters like this but still !!! #it just feels like i have to put my big girl pants on and start saving + relying on myself more & more when it comes to that #so that’s probably what i’ll be doing. plus i have research + my neuro internship here and i cant just drop that #but once i get a research publication in a few months + save up my own money im seriously considering j putting myself on a plane & going #i’m sure he and my mom would have no problem paying but it feels wrong. this is one thing i rly wanna pay upfront myself i think #but if i do manage to pull it off it’d be so cool bc i rly wanna see him #and i rly wanna bust out the 8 years i have in french #p

[sualne]

Question why does law have uh skin discoloration....? In the modern au?

it's permanent scarring from Amber Lead Syndrome! in the au i want to explore stuff like disability and chronic illness, he's got nerve damage in the discolorated skin, his hair also got white patches but he dyes it to make it less obvious he's got ALS because of the everything with flevance.

#maudern ask #this is partly cause im mad that he just magically recovered from it!! like i get it! but since its a modern au without magic i decided #this was a good opportunity to keep him sick. there's a lot of researches i need to keep on doing. it's a lot of fun. if anyone knows #idk threads or forums where ppl talks about their exp with: lead poisoning. transplants. chronic fatigue (got that but i want other ppl's #thoughts). arm amputee. chronic pain and many other id love to have a link 💪 #since ALS is a fantasy illness i dont need to be accurate cause its not real but i still want it to be familiar/real enough to work so ive #being reading a bunch of things. #ive only got a chapters and a half done and a snippets/future scenes file thats huh. +15k words long. ok. need to work on chapter 2 #i had actually planned on doing so this weekend but i went insane over kingmaker instead ○|￣|_

[craycraybluejay]

Btw i do block anti para discoursers. If u believe in thought crime you're going to annoy the shit out of me if you're not just full on trying to harm people who aren't doing anything wrong. And I don't want someone like you around me. Also it feels like abuse apologia and false conflation of a thought or feeling with abuse. And that is cruel to victims of abuse.

only exception is if we're mutuals and you in good faith want to learn more about why the idea of thought crime is BAD NEWS. Oh yeah and it puts innocent people behind bars, and i don't mean for stuff like csem which actually is abuse. What I'm referring to is known as Obscenity Law in the US, barring the possession or distribution of ANY generally legal pornography if it "doesn't align with your community's values" and "is obscene/gross" and "has no artistic merit," all of which are extremely subjective and up to judges, juries, and lawyers. Don't panic though, furries and bdsm likers and lolicon havers. These things alone are not illegal, and you cannot be charged for obscenity law unless someone specifically goes through the effort to take you to court with an incredibly good lawyer. Basically, unless you think that someone who has legally obtained proof (e.g: not stolen, etc.), a lot of money, and a burning hate for you, and you live in a very conservative community, the chances you will ever have to deal with obscenity law are extremely low to none.

#pro para #obscenity law #us law #disclaimer that i am not a lawyer and simply heavily into law research of all kinds but cannot give legal advice as a lawyer #(yet) (might become a lawyer someday idk we'll see) #paraphile safe #thought crime #btw antis before you use the legality argument as a gotcha for the millionth time #your cute fluffy gay fanfic with no age difference can still apply under obscenity law #tw csem mention #also 'proship antipara' people are cringe as hell #if you can acknowledge that thinking about a character is not abuse you can acknowledge the same of thinking ab something real #cause thing is thinking about something does nothing to anyone #like right now im choosing to think about killing idk some guy walking his dog. the guy and the dog are fine and alive and well. #nothing happened or will happen #hope that helps

[jamiethebeeart]

Sketches

#shuichi iguchi #shigaraki tomura #spinaraki #these were 2 unrelated sletches but then my brain starting brewing some thoughts #mainly an au where spinner is sent in as a spy (for???? not the heroes lmao) to get into Shigaraki's confidence which of course means #wink wonk bedroom activities ANYWAY spinner catches feelings and doesnt really want to inform on Shigaraki anymore and is feeling conflicted #about what he should do and shigaraki knows something is up with his maybe boyfriend but not what and just :))) angst and split loyalties #amd feeling torn in two directions #(i sya not heroes but the only group with enough prescence is the mla but thats not really their m.o. either so???? idk what group would #have the reach/influence to feel threatened by some upstart kid in the villain world and manipulate a member into taking this espionage job) #anyways ive got so many au ideas and not enough time to write a fic or 12 lmao #like the research + planning + plot points + writing + editing + energy to pull it off.... im tempted to dabble in it all again tbh #im a year behind the manga tho and still havent watched the last season so idk where characters have ended up #and id rather not write anything until i catch up (idk maybe horikoshi has revealed some fun/character specific info?) #here i am talking on + on in the tags. anywho if anyone wants to write a fic based on any of my posts feel free bc i probably never will

[andmakeithome]

time loop au is done!! or close enough and has been sent to my lovely betas 💜

#icemav #top gun #words from lyss #im exhausted and cant make a decision #choose for me and I'll get back to it tomorrow #tg86 #tgm #paper planes soulmates au is still on the docket but idk when ill get back to it #had to do research and its just so hard to write kids sometimes

[youcouldhearmesmile]

the hate towards cat (catrific) in dans post makes me want to scream til i puke

y’all don’t know shit. you don’t know if cat has changed. you don’t know if she’s still friends with dan and phil. you don’t know her personally.

i personally am not a fan of cat but i wouldn’t write hate to her in a new post based on drama multiple years ago. most people don’t even have a solid reason for hating her, they just think she’s annoying which is fine. you can think that. just don’t spread that kind of hate.

the behaviour shown in the replies to her comment is disgusting and i hope she can brush it off.

#idk just kind of shows how there still is phans that are crazy #im just so mad #have done some research and most people just dont like her #which IS FINE #you dont have to like everyone but pls don’t show hate in that way #dnp #dan and phil #danandphilgames #phil lester #daniel howell

[amygdalae]

god of war ragnarok is a bunch of surprisingly thoughtful philosophical conversations occurring on a canoe or while scaling sheer 90 degree cliffs, an ever-growing nebulous pile of very concerning chekhov’s guns, and Atreus collecting more weird uncles than you could possibly imagine

#haley plays god of war #god of war spoilers #idk if this counts as spoilers im just tagging cuz its still so recent #spoilers #playing these games as someone w a solid grasp of norse mythology is so rewarding and fun #they clearly did their research (despite taking liberties here and there of course) but #im constantly seeing somethign and going OOOOOH!!! THERE IT IS THATS THE THING FROM THAT ONE STORY #so fun #one of the biggest plot points of the first game was fully revealed to me because i remembered the significance of mistletoe

[colesstar]

unfriendly reminder to tag your posts that contain spoilers to new shows with (show) spoilers and put spoiler images under a cut if you dont because i have seen something that i DID NOT NEED TO KNOW!! and i am quite frankly pissed!!

#colesstar posts #nya ninjago #thats the show im on about #it was released not even a week ago lads please USE THE CONVENIENTLY AVAILABLE tags!! #Most people are using tags because a bunch of posts are filtered for me but still #idk if what i saw was true im not going to do any research on it until it comes out for me #Why has nobody pointed out that i forgot the word “am” before

[skitskatdacat63]

— Emperor Charles VI's diary entry on Count Althann's death

[text: "My only heart, my comfort, my most faithful servant, my soulmate, who loved me dearly as I did him for 19 years, [we] had a true friendship, we were one heart and one soul, and we never concealed anything from one another. He will always be in my heart, [my] beloved friend..I. have lost everything."]

#this is like. incredibly niche. #but also hopefully a quote one can look at without context and still feel emotional damage about #idk. i think about this quote probably at least once a week and then have to stare at it and cry a bit #its just GOD. yknow?????? #theres this one paper(which i linked) that i originally read as research for the AU #but i go back to it probably twice a month to reread it bcs im so !!!! abt it #i think its cause charles vi is just not that relevant but is relevant to me so to have this paper abt his personal relationships is very ! #its both nice as ref for the au but also very interesting to hear about historical queer relationships/dynamics #the sections about him and his wife are very endearing as well #but god like him and count althann. im literally so invested in this 300 year old relationship #this is obviously from his death which is incredibly depressing and heart wrenching to me #but the other things he wrote about althann in his diary are very sweet to me #they were inseparable to the point of often sleeping in the same bed and charles called him his 'eternal love' #AND ON ALTHANN'S DE WIKIPEDIA PAGE IT LITERALLY CALLS HIM THE EMPEROR'S FAVORITE #anyways literally every part of this quote absolutely destroys me but especially how he refers to althann and then the ending #and its interesting to me bcs apparently his diary entries were usually pretty to the point #but when various people in his as althann died he would write these extremely emotional entries that are so </3 #if you have any questions abt their dynamic pls i will talk abt them 🥰🥰 i find it fascinating #theres a book about his diary but its in german and 500 pages and kinda hard to get hold in but maybe one day!!! #also in AU contexts: althann and charles vi would be mark and seb so take that as you will 🤭😭 #as i said this is great for ref but also made me sooooo fucking invested in him #i have no idea how to tag this #historical #holy roman empire #emperor charles vi #catie.rambling.txt #historical quotes #habsburg #habsburg monarchy #ah wow if only my german prof could see me now. fucking...habsburg posting. why am i like this

[dykeinthedark]

venting in tags about gender n shit (long as hell) (u can comment and talk 2 me as always :3)

#okay so i got a really masc haircut about a month ago and i know it's just a haircut but holy shit has it changed EVERYTHING for me #like.... i've always leaned masc except 1) before i came out 2) when i was actively in love with someone who i knew liked femmes #and they always described me as a fem. because that's what i showed her. because i wanted to be with her. #but lowkey whenever i'm in a not-impressing-anyone raw-dogging-life-no-crush era i always resort to a very masc style #like masc being my default and i'd only lean fem to impress people whether it's for love or peer pressure in a specific setting #like ''dressing up'' has always been a form of drag to me. like something i HAD to do to fit in or impress my parents (scott favor core) #but ever since this haircut i've realized... i could just BE masc innately like i really don't have to be womanly if i don't want to #which i usually don't. again i have only ever dressed fem for other people. but it's not even being masc that attracts me on its own #it's like. being masc in a distinctly lesbian way. as in whenever i look in the mirror i don't wanna be like a Guy i wanna be a dyke. #like lesbian as a gender identity too sort of thing honestly. okay i've been waffling but basically i sort of want to call myself butch #but i don't know if i like... can?? if i'm allowed to??? #everyone always says it's MORE than just wearing boy clothes and not wearing makeup and having short hair (which i already do all those) #i mean i've always id'd as genderqueer because it literally just means gender weird and i experience gender in a queer way #what's probably the most telling is that my friends (all queer) CALL me a butch lesbian #like every time they do i feel really internally validated. it's not just my clothes but my personality too ig is what people tell me #i have a higher pitched voice relatively speaking but apparently the way i talk is quote ''very clockably into women'' #which?? gender euphoria asf. my best friend specifically he (gay trans guy) always uses butch to describe me very intuitively #people have also noticed that i ''transitioned'' in all aspects except hormonally. like ppl have commented and noticed my masculinzation #but at the same time i always feel rly haunted by my ex relationships because one wanted me to be more masc #(she's the one who came out as straight and would treat me like a man) which i didn't like and i didn't like playing up being fem either #bc now it feels like she (butch) won't believe me if i called myself butch too bc she remembers me being femme #idk i feel like there's her voice in my head all the time that sees everything i do through her eyes (i'm lowkey still in love) #i feel like even though this comes so naturally to me i must be putting on a performance #even though i've actually read stone butch blues and done research into the history and i truly love and id with the culture like i rly do #that im still just a sad imitation of a butch lesbian and can never really be a part of it because i used to enjoy dressing up sometimes #like it's so stupid but can i still be butch if i wore a dress to prom and i think i looked good in it?? #even though i was envious of my friends who wore suits?? that i used to try goth makeup?? that i liked long dresses?? #that i enjoyed stacked necklaces and rings on every finger??? #and tbh ALL OF THAT CAME FROM A CONCIOUS EFFORT TO FEMINIZE MYSELF IN JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL WHEN I WAS 16 #because omfg it was 2 months before junior prom and i was worried that i was too masc and wanted to get comfortable with being fem

[silenthillbunni]

there's sm sexual tension between me nd slitting my wrists.....

#sadly according to my research.... it apparently takes a lot do actually do it #like u have to be strong to cut deep enough for it to actually allow u to bleed out #nd im weak... weak minded nd weak willed so idk if i can do it #but still the slitting of my wrists.... my wrists buzz nd vibrate bc like i *need* it @_@ #wonder if i can like get high or smth nd gather enough courage to do it hmmmm #if i cant get strangled to death by the one i love this is how i wnna go out :c