#idk what im saying rn

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

#writeblr #this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol #by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations #and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me #& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what???? #like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it #''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother #and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!'' #yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious #anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it #it's seen as the only important thing #even if ur gay #and it's a nuanced thing idk #and while rn i i.d. as lesbian #like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like . #sexuality is fluid... #don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label #they're like GET in the BOX #if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me. #(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)

[dinzeeyz]

Felt like a crime that I, an avid fish n chips enjoyer, never once drew that nat20 kiss, so. Here you guys go!

#its 3.30am my throat is on firE but so is my PASSION idk what am i even saying rn im delirious #jrwi #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #chip jrwi #jrwi fnc #Dini art

[bytedykes]

[ID: SVSSS fanart of Shen Qingqiu and Liu Qingge. It's the scene from volume 1 where Liu Qingge is having a qi deviation. He's on the floor, face and clothes splattered with blood. Shen Qingqiu has a hand on his shoulder, and smiles as he says, "You're too hot- I mean too young to die. We should be friends now." Liu Qingge scowls at him, angry and confused, thinking "wtf" repeatedly and with question marks floating around his head. /end ID]

this is basically what happened i think

#really funny how this is like. the lqg introduction scene. can you even imagine what hes feeling rn #anyway this is kind of a study of the original drawing idk #svsss #scum villain's self saving system #shen qingqiu #liu qingge #nik art #misc #the specific part im making a joke of is when sqq says “a beauty fading-- ahem‚ dying so young” like shut the fuck up loser jdhjdskk #liushen #<- I GUESS

[rendevok]

your narumitsu art made me weep with joy and I heard you want more requests 👀

idk if this is the right place to put them but I think phoenix coming with miles to try on his glasses for the first time would be sweet :,) miles asking how they look and phoenix being just smitten. the good stuff

Dear anon… you sure know how to pick em! Things got very out of hand very quickly while drawing, and well. You inspired me to draft a comic! I didn’t want to make you wait long, so here are the sketches for the pages relevant to your request <3

Thanks so much, and hope you enjoy~! 💜

#narumitsu #wrightworth #we do love a good oh moment but i think beanix deserves something more like a sack of bricks. you’re fucked king! #if it’s not clear beanix is imagining ALL of that. like photoshopping the glasses onto memories #the glassesfication of miles edgeworth #also i can’t promise this comic will see the light of day because i’m VERY bad at writing these two despite what you might think #the whole time i was writing it i was like ‘he would not say do or think that. draw it.’ in a i-cant-do-any-better-rn way #still despite that this was super fun so THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE INSPO!!! #hope edgeworth enjoyers approve bc idk what im doing #thank you for your time if you’re reading this welcome to the prison of my mind <3 #rendoodles #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth #beanix #fan comic #fan art #aa #anonymous #asks

[pineappical]

would calling this something like "the sun to his earth" be a little bit too cliche? maybe...

#ted lasso #ted lasso fanart #tedependent #trent crimm #ted x trent #I JUST GAHH!! GAAAHH!!! I HAVE MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THEM!!!!! #pn.art #YEAH IM NOT IMMUNE TO THE SUN/MOON WHATEVER THEHELL :/ #since i probably wont be able to draw what i have in mind rn id just say it now. i have this thought about stars on the ceiling and how ted #and trent grew up with different fathers. how ted had a loving dad who he wished he told him more how much he meant to ted #and trent's father being more strict. wanting him to be something else. a stronger man. someone who played football. and how glow in the #dark stars is just a core part to many kids' childhoods and how ted probably had them and trent didnt #IDK.. IDK IM THINKING ABOUT IT... im making zero sense and this is a thought that goes nowhere but i just love the imagery of it all SNIFFS #something something ted and trent being two people who didnt want to be like their fathers but in very different ways but also so similar #enough that theyll definitely buy their own kids glow in the dark stars if they asked #IM LOSING MY MIND RN. HELLO. ANYWAYS.... #EDIT: WHY DOES TUMBLR LOVE REMOVING TH E FINAL LETTER IN SOME OF THESE TAGS

[favoure]

a lifetime of indentured servitude

used this frame from the mv of "femme fatale" by kedarui as ref for this piece ! just thought that it fit them perfectly orz

#clownzy #branzypierce #branzy #branzycraft #clownpierce #lifesteal #lifesteal smp #mcyt #favourarts #TARGET AUDIENCE ???? TARGET AUDIENCE HELLOOOOOO ?????? #i trapped him in the safest base vid changed my life #o7 doing my work in Continuing The Fandom as branzy said . np king #idk what possessed me to do a full fledge illust for this like #i usually dont have the patience to work on the same piece for days in a row #but for this one I Just Did . Huh .... #OKAY LIFE UPDATE college is crazy guys im like 2 weeks in and thank god we have a cat in our dorm i wouldve gone crazy by now if #it werent for the little fella #also its like almost 1am n i probably should sleep now ermmm LMAO #idk wat else 2 say my brain is not working rn it rlly is sleepy time #okay gn everyone i hope u enjoy the toxic yaois zzz

[tmnt-on-the-mind]

they’re taking a nap :)

#tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2k3 #tmnt mikey #teenage mutant ninja turtles #my art #words cannot describe how much I don’t like captioning my art 😭 WHAT DO I SAY HELP‼️‼️‼️ #like ??? idk man #I was gonna just write eepy but do ppl still say that? im in hell rn actually #mikey and klunk save me….. save me mikey and klunk….

[yuridemon]

EVERYDAY I'M LOSIN' MY MIND. (FEELS LIKE THEY'RE WATCHIN' ME.)

alternate versions

#ivorycello #ivorycello fanart #zyart #zydoodles #i scrapped the wing and halfassed the bg. sorry gang. #i wanted to spice up the design a little so... flat bg + no shading added for viewing pleasure #im listening to jenny rn guysIWANNA RUIN OUR FRIENDSHIP!!! #Idk what to say sooo like flips my hair. please enjoy #if i need to add a cw or something ?? someone lmk ?? otherwise im not bcs this doesnt feel Necessary here ?

[lesbaurinkos]

had a bit of a workplace relationship. coworkers to lovers. he liked my jokes so much he put a ring on it.

#that hill is looking kinda comfy rn idk what to say..................... #im fighting for my life trying to watch this on my class break. phil youre a sinister and diabolical individual. #dan you better put a ring on it. or whatever. you like his jokes. so much. sighing with misery.

[iheartjameshetfield]

james please just one chance i’ll be good i’ll swallow

#it’s not fair #ITS NOT FAIRRRRR #JUST ONCE #IM OKAY WITH ONE TIME #JUST #PLEASE #JAMES PLEASE #LIKE IDK WHAT ELSE TO SAY EXCEPT FOR PLEASE #THIS IS NOT OKAY #no one talk to me #im being deadass rn no one talk to me until this man is in my possession #what the fuck am i supposed to do without him #james hetfield #james hetfield metallica #metallica smut #james hetfield smut

[skunkes]

#something he keeps saying lately #also idk how to word this but my stuff almost never looks good when i flip the canvas but aiming for symmetrical too Stiff #i hope my stuff is at least a Good wonky and not a ''dude this looks so bad you just cant tell yet'' wonky... #i want it to look like i made it bad on purpose not like its bad because im just unskilled.... #but it definitely is not ever on purpose or in an informed; breaking the rules ive learned way lol. #<- speaking generally here bc as of rn i dont think this doodle Sucks its just lopsided i think...thats what the canvas flip says at least #i always say this but i wish i cld switch between my perception of my stuff and someone else's perception #i hate feeling so in the dark about my own stuff. i wont even be able to tell if this sucks bad until anywhere from one day to 5 years #from now. ykwim. #a doodley #ok gn ^_^

[izzypaw]

silly

#hi this doodle post is an excuse for me to monologue in the tags #ive been making a lot of quick posts for the sake of daily posts on instagram and at first i liked how much art i was making but now i wish #i could slow down and expirememnt more.??? i also miss drawing mother3.so bad but i literally cant make good mother3 art unless im VIOLENTLY #depressed so idk what ti d o... i want to draw i want to havr fun making drawing i want to draw The Character btu im not at my lowest point #alsoo feeling a bit of a weird disconnect between myself and my art style rn.. like it doesnt match my personality if that makes sende😭 #my art is so cute and im The Devil #anyway if u read all that thx i just wanted to say all this shit somehwere

[krash-and-co]

hi guys !!! I thought a Lockwood fandom whiteboard would be fun, so I made one if anyone wants to draw!! it expires in 14 days. I'll take screenshots and post em here when it goes away as well, so everyone can see after expiration/find their stuff.

have fun wheee!!

#also !! if ur saying i wanna draw but it looks bad #quality doesn't matter it's just for fun #i am hitting you with a pillow rn #Lockwood and co #also sign your name if you wanna id love to know who participates/who did what !! #idk what im doing tbh i just decided 'whiteboard would be fun' so here i am #Lockwood and co fanart #lockwood and co fandom

[fiendishartist2]

"i do agree there's a resemblance. um. very strong resemblance between us"

#my art #digital art #artists on tumblr #petscop #paul leskowitz #paul petscop #carrie mark #petscop care #bathroom tomb #im so tired rn but i dont CARE. ill spend 2 hours on a petscop piece no matter what #do you ever think about how paul looks in the mirror and cant quite place the face he sees #do you ever think about how paul knows he looks like care. do you think he wonders why the bathroom is identical #do you think he asks himself why the family is in the game. hey. do you think he doesnt have a strong sense of self and doesnt know why #hey #you know its bad when im saying nothing. whatever paul is in my soul and i cant get rid of him and i dont want to!!!!! #idk how much i like the text now but whatever. i like the sentiment #i gotta go to bed soon........

[heartorbit]

woe mafukasa be upon ye

#mafukasa #pjsk #prsk #project sekai #everybody say thank you cali for calling with me because its the only time i draw on paper AMEN #dont ask whats going on with their clothes i DONT know #(draws them in my clothes) idk what theyre fucking wearing #im posting this to weed anyone who isnt playing my gacha game gender chess out. these two are eating all the pieces #this isnt scanned im too lazy rn smiles

[skitskatdacat63]

2023 Las Vegas Grand Prix - Qualifiying - Fernando Alonso

#half asleep making these istg #yayyyy p9? idk ig i expected him to do better #old man asleep at the wheel whats new 😴 #he was very quick w this interview i wonder if he was eager to get to bed #i certainly am rn #f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #2023 las vegas gp #(i wish i could atop feeling insecure abt my gifs. i do it for fun.) #(of course i want them to look somewhat good but i get a bit ill over it) #(there was somw drama on here at some point that made me want to completely stop posting then ngl) #(cause like what is the point if im not as good as others ig :/ this is kinda vague posting but it made me so uncomfortable) #(as i said. i do it for fun in quick time bcs yay jsut wanna post smth i found cute) #(but ever sincce that thing happened its just made me extremely self critical and insecure abt posting) #(idk why im saying this. kinda repressing the urge tk be like 'SRY THESE ARE TERRIBLE. YEAH.') #(i need to sleep. but i often feel like this literally every time i post now bcs some people get on their high horse and ruin people's fun) #(iykyk ig. its smth bothering me lately. but i hate to act so morose. but i still feel bad abt the quality sometimes. i guess.) #we do a little bit of f1