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#IDK.. IDK IM THINKING ABOUT IT... im making zero sense and this is a thought that goes nowhere but i just love the imagery of it all SNIFFS
pineappical · 8 months
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would calling this something like "the sun to his earth" be a little bit too cliche? maybe...
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m-kyunie · 1 year
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Left waiting, left wanting; why can't you see me
just imagine Sins Fate or Prayer [Banana Fish] playing & the text boxes flickering. Alma's symbolism goes so hard.
I'm on my hands & knees begging you to read the Alma Arc instead.
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steelycunt · 2 years
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Absolutely obsessed with remus’ cowardice cause on the surface you’d never call him a coward. this man looked a dementor, a literal embodiment of fear itself in the face and told it to fuck off without even flinching, he has committed murder and he WILL do it again! he goes through a horror every month since he was 4 like psychology morally and physically that man is insane but he’s soooo terrified to loose the people he loves more then anything. It’s not even that he was some push over for them we literally see him boss Sirius around in ootp but he’s so scared of upsetting him . I’m sure he hated confronting James too but it was sooooo bad with Sirius. He let himself become someone he wasn’t proud of just to avoid upsetting him AND HE’D DO IT AGAIN!!! If that man had a shred of self respect or just any common sense he would have walked out on him a hundred times over but he didn’t cause Sirius makes him so fucking pathetic.
(under the cut this got a bit long xx)
yes yes!! soo true it's such a particular type of cowardice. because it's being pitted against this sort of martyr complex i also think he has: as you say, he's regularly very brave when you think of him facing his condition, dementors, fighting in both wars. in fact i imagining him being overly (...unnecessarily?) selfless and self-sacrificial. as in i imagine him on missions he's consistently prepared to lay his life down for others even when the circumstances are not at all calling for measures that extreme. he is the guy sacrificing himself without being asked lol. he's going wherever dumbledore sends him to negotiate with the werewolves for weeks at a time for the 'greater good' regardless of the physical and psychological toll that sort of work takes on him (and the toll it takes on his relationships) because he thinks this is the kind of person he is supposed to be and to present to others.
and then!! it's matched with this strange emotional cowardice. which could come from multiple places, i'm not sure--there is a desperation to not let go of the people he loves/give them a reason to let go of him (which perhaps comes into conflict with his self-sacrificial elements, e.g. his commitment to continuing to do whatever dumbledore asks of him in the first war despite how detrimental it is to his relationship with sirius), and furthermore a more general desire not to displease people (considering the image of himself that he finds it sooo important to maintain and present to people, the Model Werewolf etc.), and above all a reluctance to confront his own feelings and relationships, either in conversation with others or within himself. given the choice i think he'd always rather be tortured/deep in self-loathing than examine himself much further; he's familiar with that, he knows how to do that. talking about the lost years--if he were to attempt to let go of whatever he has that still tethers him to sirius, what does he have left? wallowing in his feelings towards sirius--clinging to sirius--is soo much easier than the alternative, which is living for himself. he loves being loved by sirius but he also loves loving sirius, he loves everything that ties them together, and everything about how that makes him feel (which is why he's never going to really leave him, pre- or post-1981), and i sort of think he loves being wretched and miserable about what sirius has done to them (and to him) during the lost years. it's not really martyring himself, or punishing himself, though he might want to pretend it is. it's more like indulgence i think. if that makes sense
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illyabata · 7 months
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scars are A Thing™ with wriothesley and nobody can convince me otherwise, idc if there is zero mention of his scars or their meaning when he comes out idc it’s my permanent headcanon that scars and their stories are simply entangled with his character idc
so now i give you: wriothesley who is fascinated by your scars
tw: discussion of scars lol, but in no way do i indicate their origin unless it’s stretch marks. however if talk of scars at all is triggering to you, dont read!! it’s sweet fluffy stuff, but that doesn’t matter if it will trigger you. please take care :)
sfw, big brainrot under cut
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theyre so much smaller than his, more delicate, just like you. doesnt matter if compared to other people you are big or tall, he’s such a big guy that he makes you feel small no matter your size or height. and no matter what your scars look like to you, to him they are beautiful. to him they are delicate.
he’s enamored by all of your scars no matter their origin—stretch marks, however, seem to intrigue him the most of all. he’s absolutely transfixed by them, and you can never understand why. he’s simply mesmerized by the way the blemished skin stretches as he thumbs and presses it, watching the discoloration flatten itself only to bloat back when he leaves it alone. for some reason he just seems so puzzled by the concept of natural scarring of the body; nothing had happened to harm you for these to appear—they’re simply the product of change, your skin either going through rapid periods of expanding or shrinking. he thinks they’re pretty.
he’d spend so long just running his rough fingers over your skin, absorbed in the feeling of the puckered tissue under his own blemished hands. whether the scars are stretch marks or from something else, he loves them, he loves you.
this might sound weird but i just like to imagine you both spend time gently tracing each others’ scars as comfort, like it sounds weird in words but it makes sense i promise. there is something intimate and fascinating about scars, no matter what they’re from; it’s truly like the language of your body’s history, a record of what has occurred. you can resent them or be proud of them, it really depends on the person and situation—but regardless, scars are always a record, and that is a constant no matter the person.
and if you’re not comfortable with that level of touch or that much attention on your scars, that is absolutely okay. he’s not going to make you uncomfortable, he’ll always ask if it’s okay before he looks at or touches them—or touches you at all, really. he never wants to hurt you. and if you say you’d rather he not touch your scars, he’ll understand and just show you he loves you—all of you—in some other way.
like idk about anyone else or if its just me and im fucking insane but sometimes i get lost looking at my own scars; sometimes the human body at work is just kind of fascinating to watch, and even more so in retrospect. it’s like holy fuck you’re looking at its handiwork, you can plainly see how the skin has been so masterfully rebuilt into this little woven bandaid of cells, carefully crafted to not only rebuild but protect. your body has looked after itself, and it will continue to do so. and thats just kind of a fascinating thing to me idk😭
some extra thoughts about scars, not really to do with wrio; red brackets will indicate the end of it if you want to skip: [[ it usually replaces any feeling of disgust i have because instead of focusing on the bad feeling of remembering where they came from or being sad at the way they look im able to think about how cool it is the way my body recovered and made my skin even stronger; it didnt just wipe it all away and give me a clean slate so i could forget, it pieced the cells together again bit by bit until it had not only replaced the wound but enforced it—so instead of forgetting the bad feelings, they were replaced by wonder. sort of like a sign that says “proof that where once there was pain, now there is strength”. it’s kind of like how they say you don’t just try to quit bad habits, you must replace the bad habit with a good one. you can replace the bad feelings associated with your scars with new feelings, whether they are good feelings or neutral feelings or meh feelings. ]]
before you, he understood scars to be an ugly thing—a source of shame, a show for others to marvel at if he left them uncovered, for them to ogle at and whisper about as if trying to guess the origin of the wounds was a sort of entertainment to them. and then in the fortress of meropide, his scars felt much less like a source of shame and more like an intimidation factor (which wasn’t something he necessarily felt good about, but it was something that he benefitted from as the duke). but when you came along and he began to know you, suddenly they were this beautiful, fascinating phenomenon that lead him to view his own scars in a different light.
he’s a powerful, strong man, yes. he’s intimidating and feared, but he is also loved, and all for good reason—he is solid and safe, an image of reliability to others. and sometimes it could weigh him down when he couldn’t seem to let another help carry the burden.
the way you made him feel, though, tracing his big ugly scars like they were rivers, like they weren’t repulsive—it changed him entirely, and it changed the way he saw himself. in the overworld, he was a criminal brute slathered in the proof of his savageness. in the fortress, he was the rock-solid standard for redemption, and he had to uphold his firm reputation. but with you, he was able to be fragile; with you, the walls he had built to protect himself from both sides of fontaine’s society came tumbling down, because he didn’t have to pretend when he was with you.
if such a small, sweet thing like you could see him in such a kind light with so much love in those eyes of yours, perhaps he was not so bad after all.
everyone else in all of teyvat could believe he was truly a bad guy like he sometimes enjoyed playing at—but it wouldn’t matter, because there you were in his bed every night, held fast in his big arms as you mindlessly traced the long, thin writings engraved in his skin, letting the stories they told lull you to sleep.
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sluggintub · 5 months
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Omg!!!!!!
Haiii!!!! Elloo!!!
Im back with your semi annual Robo Mace wip :0000
Finally was able to expand upon an idea cooking in my mind for a good bit which was a kinda battle mask (Basically whenever conflict is engaged their “human” mouth would be covered with this extravagant layer o’ metal to protect em!)
Practical considering they’re mostly made up of metal?
Absolutely not
Cool?
ABSOLUTELY
Anyways thats literally the whole wip.
Ive redrawn that same pose like five million times on different canvases with every attempt so ive made like zero progress 💀
But now that I have your attention I wanted to expand on Mace’s lore cuz I feel like it and I think i promised to make a post about it
So.
I dont know about any of you you guys-
I personally feel like Darcy the core and Alderitch coulda be so much cooler!
Like dont get me wrong. I like Darcy design wise! They’ve literally been living in my head rent free ever since their first teaser! (It’s a blessing and a curse please send help hshshHahabbfnsuaha)
But I personally feel like plot wise they were kinda lacking :(
And the idea of a bucha a n c i e n t newts consciousnesses invading a 13/14 year old kids mind forcefully is kinda…gross.
So.
I was brainstorming and came up with this:
When the core was first teased. Back in the ye olde days in the pre True colors when the fandom called it the Night-
Im not the only one that thought it was some sorta god right?
A giant mass of orange eyes that a powerful King that ruled for thousands of years kneels down to and calls “Master?”
Idk about you but that gives off omnipotent eldritch horror vibes to me.
So I basically took that concept and expanded upon that and incorporated bits of the lore that Andrias dropped about his kind.
Specifically about how he said that his kind were conquerers.
Why?
Sure. It could purely be a generational trauma thing.
His father did it. His father’s father did it. And his father’s father’s father did it as well.
That could be the end of it.
No one really knows why they conquer and enslave races other than “tradition.”
Maybe Andrias only mentions it all is so he can bask in his triumph. To feel a deluded sense of pride in his lineage for finally being able to continue the work of his forefathers after thousands of years of resentment and regret planted in his mind by his own father that twisted and corrupted his perception on reality.
Maybe Matt just thought those sequences up on the spot and they sorta made sense.
Theres alotta maybes and to my knowledge thats about the extent of it
But im not satisfied with that
So I took that concept. The conquering inter dimensional newts and elevated it.
The core was never a series of Newtopia’s “greatest minds.”
It was always an omnipotent being.
An all seeing all knowing all powerful elderitch horror that is always hungry.
Thats why Andrias’ ancestors invaded other worlds!
Whether it was out of fear or necessity or a deal made with the devil
The reason they invaded is because the core is always hungry. And it needed to feed. So they sacrificed whole worlds to the core just to satiate its ravenous appetite.
And it would explain why in the last season Amphibia was being siphoned for all its resources
Not only was it for the factories, the frobo army, and the mind control devices
It was to stave off the cores hunger until the invasion of earth could surpass
And I didnt forget about all those newts that died and had their brain transferred to the core originally oh nonono
They still sacrificed themselves. But not to join the core or become anything greater. Despite what they believed or what they were promised by the core, Alderitch and all those newts who made up the canon core were nothing more than willing sacrifices to the cores endless hunger. They realistically died for nothing.
So. With this concept/au/rewrite/whatever solves alot of the inconsistencies in the plot and also gets rid of the gross old newts in 13 year olds brain plot
Lemme know what you think of this concept! Im open to criticism and any ideas anyone is willing to share and will do my best to respond to em!
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mapletine · 3 months
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silly celeb au concept sketches (wing photocard next week <3)
+ i have so many thoughts abt this au guys i need to be sedated (don’t open the cut unless u rly want more info bc. there's. A LOT. it will be a wall of incoherent rambling text im sorry)
ok first disclaimers: i know very little abt idols and even less abt modeling so!! if anything is horrifically inaccurate forgive me im stupid!! and also this will literally be stream of consciousness unedited so if it makes zero sense im very sorry
now we begin the madness
some background info: kite was scouted off the street (as he was walking off from pickpocketing someone LMAO) for his height and build, currently very sought after to model for many brands because he’s literally the same as the sketch models on paper so the designers don’t have to compromise on their clothing designs to fit the model, bc he just. looks exactly like the paper sketch. also the white hair is very distinctive!! and his prep/management team is his research team <3 he’s currently the face of several brands, including the zoldyck brand (i see the zoldycks as a very influential family in the fashion/modeling industry, kikyo was a former model until an accident, now she’s focusing on designing, all the kids are involved in the industry somehow, illumi is within the same agency (?is that how modeling works) as kite). he’s in his mid-twenties ish and hes 6'3" - 6'4" (190 - 193 cm)
wing and his idol group debuted a couple years ago (haven’t thought too much about the members, but im thinkin feitan maybe? kurapika?? shalnark?? idk guys maybe he’s a solo act) and they’ve skyrocketed to fame. uhh in terms of content they produce, thinkin something similar to wayv/bts type music (stuff that crowds just eat up LOL like love talk by wayv, luna by oneus that kind of music) and im thinking that wing’s debut look was REALLY BAD (they made the poor man blond) but when they put him back to his normal hair color he got rly popular. he’s had some bad eras where the stylists made him look a little goofy but… he’s good now (his best era was the mullet era). also he was trained by bisky who was a former idol who has retired and she's a legend in the industry… and wing is currently guiding an idol trainee (zushi lol). wing’s in his early-mid-twenties i think and he's 5'9" - 5'10" (175 - 178 cm)
ok and the main 4 fit into this uhh... i think gon is also an idol trainee along w zushi. and killua is currently modeling for a popular teen's clothing brand. i think i mentioned kurapika as being a part of wing's idol group but lowk i think maybe he's an actor instead. leorio is also. an actor. yeah ok there we go
uhhhh ok general thoughts:
i see them meeting at like.. the met gala or its equivalent and they meet when wing trips over kite’s clothes (he’s wearing something with a ridiculously long train and wing isn’t looking where he’s going), and at first wing thinks kite is super standoffish/rude bc he doesn’t apologize or offer a hand when wing trips… he just.. sorta stares at him on the floor for a second then clacks off in his very pointy shoes (he was flustered abt the very pretty stranger who just fell for over him. also he was STRESSED asf) (also the perspective that wing had probably didn't help bc bro was on the floor and kite was staring down at him from a height of like 6'9 with the heels)
afterwards there’s a bunch of pictures and edits of wing falling over all over the internet bc it was kind of funny… and ppl are telling him like “oh my god you tripped over yorknew’s top model the LITERAL FACE of fashion right now” and wing is like “damn i didn’t know also he’s a jerk”… and to kite ppl r telling him “oh my god the country’s MOST POPULAR IDOL tripped on you” and kite’s like “uhhh.. who?” (he doesn’t keep up with the entertainment industry despite being a part of it) and they both search each other up and they both have a moment like “oh my god i fucked up (also he's really hot)”
anyways they continue randomly (not at all random very much orchestrated by the people around them) meeting at things,,, there’s a very awkward apology from kite where he explains (sortof) why he didn’t help wing up… uhh stuff happens they fall in love and start dating LOL (i didnt think abt this part that hard) and for a hot minute there r paparazzi photos circulating of them together and the media is losing their collective shit
fast forward a little bit and they r like “yea we r together LOL” and then u start seeing kite at wing’s concerts in a spectator box staring very lovingly at wing on the stage and wing (and sometimes his whole idol group) starts showing up to fashion shows and wing looks like shellshocked every time kite steps onto the catwalk hes got kind of an awed stare on his face
ok future thoughts:
after abt two? ish years dating (engaged for 6 months out of those 2 yrs) they have an extremely private wedding with only close friends invited, and when ppl start noticing theyre wearing wedding bands (takes a while bc wing usually wears a lot of rings anyways, and kite wears his on a necklace and not on his hand) the media has a collective meltdown. again. (i am the media in this i think. i have meltdowns bc of them.)
um and eventually (around when him and kite get married) wing's idol group splits apart as they all go to pursue individual passions/careers, so now he's workin on his own music/vision. i think his personal music is much more peaceful and vibey than what his old group produced, more gentle love songs and poetic music and whatnot.
and kite steps out of the spotlight and is focusing on nature conservation philanthropy type stuff,, so he'll still step out and model for charity/fundraiser type stuff and he's the face of a large conservation foundation. (also bc sometimes he'll join like.. ocean cleanup initiatives or similar things and like. imagine ur volunteering to pick up garbage on the beach and u literally see like. anya taylor joy and her husband also out there picking up garbage or smthn. that's how the other ppl feel.) hes also a big advocate for no kill shelters and donates a shitload to them i like to think.
so yeah ok if u made it this far bless u!!! i dont really have any coherent storyline thoughts just this aggregation of random world building thoughts ok bye (btw if u have thoughts on this feel free to dm me abt them or tell me what u think in the replies or tags im brain rotting abt this stupid au so hard rn)
anyways im no writer (if u couldnt alr tell from this word vomit) so no fic but i may continue churning out thought fragments like this
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rulerzreachf4n7 · 3 months
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I'm trying to say this in THE NICEST WAY possible, toxic shippers have the stupidest reasons for not shipping Huntlow
Heya! Now before I go into this please know I AM NOT a toxic/force shipper, I am not forcing you to ship Huntlow, simply just telling you why your reasons don't make sense and contradict to the canon versions of the characters of the show, and with that let's go
Reason 1: it's not possible for Hunter to trust Willow after Below possed him and in general
Oh. My. Fucking. Titan...Im just going to automatically assume you've never watched Any Sports In The Storm, that one part in Reaching out, Labyrinth Runners, Clouds On The Horizon, Kings Tide or the entirety of s3, I'M LITERALLY TRYING TO BE NICE BUT YOU ARE ACTUALLY FUCKING STUPID, Hunter trusts AND CARES Willow by first, in reaching out, giving her his penstegram account to chat, saving her from getting hurt in clouds on the horizon, yes, it's wasn't actually Luz, it was an illusion, and in the same episode Willow tried to save Hunter (or so she thought it does matter if it's actually Luz it just proves she cares about Hunter) and when Luz got captured by Kiki she was very anxious and hurrying everyone to get to Kiki to save Luz, yet again, don't come at me with just because it was illusion doesn't mean she dosent care about Hunter, she thought it was him, she cares about him a lot cause she was in a hurry to save him (or so she though it was him)! Hunter was comfortable and trusted her to cut his hair in thanks to them, in the same episode he wasn't uncomfortable with Willow holding him after the possession, in for the future HE LITERALLY SAYS HE CARES ABOUT WILLOW, NOT JUST GUS, WILLOW TOO, he comforted her after her breakdown and saved her and Gus, Willow trusts and cares about Hunter in ending of for the future by holding his hand (pinky promis?? Idk what to call it lol) and literally said "Thanks Hunter, you mean a lot to me to" which Hunter replied "yeah...sure, no problem"
Reason 2: they head canon either Hunter, Willow, or both of them as aroace, asexual, or on the spectrum
Oh. My. Titan, did you like know aroace/asexual people can like STILL DATE??? you completely misunderstand the meaning, just because they don't experience ALL ATTRACTION dosent mean THEY WON'T EXPERIENCE ANY, you know what "little to none attraction" means, it fucking means someone who has a bit, A BIT, NOT ZERO, THERE'S STILL A PIECE OF ATTRACTION THEY CAN HAVE FOR SOMEONE, I'm literally trying not to be as toxic as possible but people have the most fucking stupidest reasons
Reason 3: you ship Lunter/huntric/huntmira/boschlow/ect
Well that's fine, but those ships don't make sense in my eyes but I won't write an entire paragraph on why it doesn't make sense (I'm doing it after this post lol 💀💀) and also boschlow is literally toxic pookie it's not the enemies to lovers you want Boscha literally bullied her, if you think that's chemistry you're fucking stupid and never seen the entirety of s1
And hehe silly reason I'd like to add!!
Reason 4: they're bland, don't go well together, rushed, and have no chemistry
Oh my fucking Titan, OMG y'all! Did you know you could uncancel you're own show?! NO YOU CAN'T DUMB FUCK, it was rushed because it WAS FUCKING CANCELLED, SORRY POOKIE DANA CAN'T DO NO SHIT ABOUT IT, it's not like you can get rid of all the episodes and make it hunlow themed, sorry, we can't get all the things we want in life, and by saying that it wouldn't work by the first impression in ASIAS is stupid, sure Willow made a bad first impression but Hunter seemed mildly phased by this other than just being a bit spooked out and startled, and NO, HE DIDN'T JUST DEVELOP A CRUSH ON HER ON SPOT, sure, he could think Willows pretty, but that doesn't mean HE HAS A FUCKING CRUSH ON HER, and people saying that it's not a "half a with Hunter" because Hunters a grimwalker dosent make any sense, may I remind you this was made before hollow mind, he's still convinced he's a powerless witch by Belos lying about it to him, he thinks he's a half a witch while yes looking like a witch on the outside despite having no bile sack, and he doesn't seem to think as himself as weak like Willow does on the other hand, eh, I wouldn't mind if they took out the half a witch, and btw it's not supposed to be a romantical aspect it's supposed to be a similarity, people have also said she's only there to comfort him, even though that's apart of Willows personality, SHE'S THE RELIABLE ONE, LITERALLY SAYING IT IN FTF, she's supposed to comfort people, supposed to be the person everyone rely on, but thats not just her whole personality, based around her reliability, she's so much more than it! People say they think they're both better off as friends in their opinion, it's totally fine! I don't give a shit really, but if you're going to state a reason why you dont think a ship is realistic, then at least watch all the episodes they're in and use some common sense at least! It's the bare minimum!
And that's all!!! I hope you understand and if I made any incorrections please let me know!! I really hate toxic Lunter and huntric shippers, or shippers in general, they just make up excuses instead of saying that huntlow isn't their type of ship or they ship something else, but if you're a multishipper you're totally cool! (Even considered being a multishipper hehe)
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mikelogan · 1 month
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hello. i really enjoy your content, but i have to say i'm kinda disappointed on you still being a ts fan. this woman knows what disney does and yet she still gave them the rights, meaning she either doesn't care or actively supports the genocide. or maybe she decided to turn her morals off because money is more important. not to mention how she consistently associates herself with questionable people and how a person literally died in one of her shows on brazil and she gave zero fucks. this woman is not a good person and there are no excuses to being her fan anymore.
no, i fully understand what you're saying and where you're coming from. over the last like. idk year and a half? ive been pretty vocal about my disappointment, distaste, and disagreement with a multitude of the choices she's made lately. i 100% agree that her silence on the subject of palestinian genocide (as well as many other human rights/social causes) is at best a sign of apathy and at worst a sign of support. especially when miss americana was all about her wanting to be more outspoken and be an activist. that all feels so incredibly performative now -- and has for a while. a lot of things that she's said and done since midnights, which is when i became more active in the tumblr swiftie community, have left a bad taste in my mouth for her as a person.
like i said, i genuinely agree with what you're saying. the only thing i take issue with is that she didn't care that a fan died at her show. she donated money to the fan's family and took time to meet them. regardless of my many issues with her, i do think she can be an empathetic person and i don't think that she just straight up didn't care that someone died before her show. it's one of those things (of which there are many) where we'll never know her true thoughts bc she doesn't talk about things. which is frustrating in itself.
now that's not the point of your message, so feel free to write that off as a digression. i strongly disagree with her making yet another version of the eras tour movie and hosting it on disney+. I'm personally boycotting disney+ and have been for a while. I don't even intend on watching the new version and like the vast majority of everything I gif, that shit is pirated -- that's how I watched the original release of the movie. obviously my consumption/boycotting is just one person compared to blondie, who has influence over millions, who could make real change if she spoke out against genocide.
at this point, im not supporting her financially either apart from listening to her music. which i love. im sorry, but I do. if I didn't, we wouldn't be having this conversation. i think her constant churning out different exclusive versions of the same albums are a transparent money grab and maybe an effort to set more records as far as sales or streams or however that all works. and I'm not just saying that bc I literally couldn't even afford to buy a digital copy of an album right now.
so yeah. I appreciate that you enjoy my content and thank you for saying so, but if you need to unfollow or block, i understand. I've definitely toned down/completely stopped sharing posts about her as a person bc I'd much rather focus on just the music. and maybe that makes me a bad person for continuing to listen to and enjoy her music. im not saying i necessarily feel good about it, but i think the fact of the matter is that a lot of the celebrities, actors, musicians, etc. we like or whose content we enjoy hold views we disagree with and have different values or priorities. nuance exists. right now, im someone who is vocal about the palestinian genocide and I try to share resources/posts about it when they come across my dash and im also someone who is a fan of Taylor's music.
Idk, I hope what I'm saying makes sense at least on some level. I've done my best to word things coherently, but brain fog fucks w me a lot. and like. it's probably whatever, but I do plan on changing my url after ttpd releases. That probably upsets you more and I can see how people might think im a hypocrite or something and yeah, I get it. Idk, I just want to enjoy someone's music without endorsing them as a person, but that's extra difficult when the person in question is the biggest singer in the industry. but you'll never see me making excuses for her on things like this or the m*tty situation or numerous other things she's said and done that gross me out. im not so far up her ass that I think she's perfect or that I feel the need to defend her at every turn. like I said, nuance. anyway, if you feel the need to respond, i welcome you to do so as long as we both remain respectful, which I think we've done. this is a difficult topic, but that doesn't mean we can't discuss it. I appreciate your point of view and I'm sorry that I've disappointed you!
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sysmedsaresexist · 6 months
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Hi! I,, have a question with some specific context that could, potentially, spark some conversation.
I’d say its relatively important to the context to note that I’m also a dx DID system, but im an anon, so take of that what u will.
When our system’s body was around 11-12, our system’s host “created” an alter. Basically like the host had an active role in creating him as opposed to, idk, a regular split or something. What we do know is that this headmate/alter of dubious origin, has fronted in traumatic times and took role as primary protector for years until our current primary protector was reintroduced to the host through therapy. It was also how the host established communication internally with “the actual” system so early, before we knew we were a system.
My only question here is would that be considered “endogenic” origins for a headmate? By all means, we are DID system, and only split based on traumas and survival, but *literally* only this headmate/alter has caused internal conflict for the system, but especially the host who created him (and is still around).
The host originally believed that, when we were first diagnosed, there was absolutely no way that we could have DID because of the active creation of that singular alter, which our psychologist acknowledged, but pointed out otherwise, thru a slew of, like, legitimate reasons (its 12am and we leave for a trip soon, my wording isn’t great, but for some reason, I just cant *not* write this ask).
I, unnamed alter in the system, am wondering if active creation in an alter is possible? I guess in general? It was entirely a form of survival for ourselves at the time to make the alter/headmate of dubious origin, he was what the system needed at that time, but we wonder what terminology we would use for him, or what he would be considered, community wise ig. To be blunt, its almost a validation thing in a way.
Our system is anti-endo. We dont believe systems can form from anything other than trauma in formative years, but the active creation thing seems??? Not a normal experience and maybe, like, invalidating to our existence??? We have alters from before he existed, but he was like our ground zero in communication. The alter that helped “bridge the gap”. The host loves him, and he loves the host. They were attached at the hip until the diagnosis because his existence felt inherently invalidating BUT thats not the point and more venting
TLDR ;
The host actively made a dude in our head who ended up being a main factor in our survival at the time but because the host *actively made* the dude, as opposed to “normal splitting”, does that make him inherently “endogenic”?
Hi, that's normal! And anyone who says otherwise can fight me. Thank you for sending this, it's really not talked about enough.
CDD systems can and do "create" alters, though it's typically not quite that simple once you get into the subconscious.
Firstly, once the development of the sense of self is interrupted in childhood, you've already completed the step that "tulpamancers" are trying to learn. Personally, I don't believe it's possible to dissociate to that extent once the sense of self is developed (I think they're already highly prone to dissociative tendencies, take from that what you will), but CDD systems are already ten steps into the process and it's not out of the realm of possibility (and in fact, it's highly reported) that CDD systems frequently create alters in a number of different ways, including processes similar to willing and creating alters into existence. People with DID already dissociate really good, it's not shocking that we would be able to will a new member into existence with enough thought and pressure. We're just not thinking of it as something similar to endogenic or created alters until it's pointed out, or we understand that there's something deeper at play.
But that's active creation, and now we get into:
"If there's a need, the brain will supply."
This is more based on the personal interpretation of alters in the process of becoming aware, but can be applied to brand new alters.
One general interpretation is based in denial and a feeling of a lack of control, and is similar to active creation.
It's extremely easy to convince yourself that you did this, purposefully and with intent. That you chose systemhood and that you chose to create this alter. CDDs are caused by factors entirely outside of our control, and people will look for, and find, a sense of control in any way possible.
Including telling yourself that you're doing something consciously, even when you're not (loosely based on the same idea as this).
Which came first, the fragment or the need? Was there already a fragment floating around that you helped to pick a name and appearance, and that contained traits that you needed, whether you consciously knew you needed those traits in your system or not? Or did you realize you needed those things, and a fragment came forward to pick up the role?
It doesn't help that alters can be created from overwhelming situations (not just traumatic situations), and the brain is notoriously bad at letting you know when you're stressed and overwhelmed. Not only that, but alters can take years to make themselves known, making it impossible to pinpoint their creation (unless they know, but they usually don't).
So did you really pick that name? That trait? Or was it already there?
The second interpretation is simply misinterpretation.
I have an alter that took a liking to an OC and became that. Again, which came first, the character or the alter? Does it matter? Was I writing based on an alter that already existed but that I couldn't communicate with? Or did a fragment take a liking to the character and traits? Did I look at those traits and think, "I could really use that right now," and my brain agreed? It would be very easy to misinterpret the entire situation to mean that I created this alter, either by complete accident or purposefully, consciously or unconsciously. Where do we draw the line at "created" alters? Does it need to be active creation? Or creation after the fact based on ideas that you liked and wanted? Did you know you wanted them?
--
Mod Quill here to mention something: I also have "created" parts. Again, incredibly normal in CDDs. I also have friends with DID who have parts that "came from God" or "walked in" -- and out of all of those parts, they are all traumagenic, because that's how they choose to see themselves.
The fact that the alter is created doesn't make him endogenic, because based on your description, he's still forming due to the trauma that you've experienced. Now, if you want to call him endogenic, because of the creation process, I don't think anyone's going to stop you -- but you shouldn't ever feel the need to label your alters in that way. You are a DID system, simply put, and regardless of the individual causes of splits, you formed from trauma. You should only be labeling the individual splits if you find that helpful for your recovery.
This alter's creation doesn't invalidate your diagnosis, your trauma, or your system in any single way. It's incredibly common, and I fear that syscourse has made it seem like it has to be an endo thing, when it isn't in the slightest.
------
Thank you to Quill for bringing this back to the most important point. Don't let anyone dictate how you define your system and alters. So long as you're happy and healthy, who cares. That's literally the only thing that matters.
I want to make it very clear that it's not just alter creation that confuses systems, but alters seemingly not connected to trauma at all appearing suddenly or randomly, alters that wake up and immediately go back into dormancy (walk in/out), etc. These are all things that can appear to be endogenic, or mixed origin, but if the basis of your system, the reason you have a system in the first place, is trauma, then everything ties back to that, in the end, and in one way or another.
How you personally interpret your experiences and members, and the labels you use, are uniquely yours.
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bella-is-sleepy · 7 months
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Rise! Donatello x Female! Smart/Nerd! Reader || PART 1 || A New Aquaintance
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This is my second story so im still getting better at writing (kinda 💀) so…yea also I have like zero requests PLEASE REQUEST SOMETHING
___________________________________________ not proof read
parings: Rise! Donatello + Reader
Pronouns for reader: She/her
words: ??? Idk but it’s short
key words (FN1/2)= Friend name 1/2
___________________________________________
It was a getting cold in NYC, because it was October and around 8pm. Y/N was walking down the street with her headphones/Ear buds on blast. Here’s the question, why was Y/N out at 8:23pm (to be exact). Well short answer she snuck out; long answer Mom & Dad we’re fighting—again! Mr & Mrs.L/n were fighting over their daughter. You see her dad said it was not ‘lady like’ for a young 14/15 year old girl to be making inventions, codes, engineering, etc.
But did that stop Y/N from making inventions; Hell no!! She was at the top of her class she was not gonna just give up now, because she had a great future ahead of her. Her Mom, April (her best friend), (F/N1), and (F/N2) all supported her.
Everything was going perfectly normal until one night, which was that(this?) very night. She heard a weird crash sound coming from the alleyway. And this crash was LOUD Y/N could hear it through her headphones/Earbuds. Out of instinct she Stoped and flinched as well. She walked towards the alley slowly turning on her phone flashlight, and what she saw next made her freeze. Y/N saw a giant mutant turtle with a purple mask, metal shell with a hovering thing.(?) The two just stared at each other for a couple of minutes until Y/N broke the silence.
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Just make the lens you fav color
“I like your goggles, they look but mine look a bit different from yours.” She said. 15 seconds later he responded “Your not scared of me- I mean like how..” she tilted her head “Why would be scared? I mean yea you are different so what, I’m different too.”
“Right, im just not used to people not screaming and running away..” At this point the girl thought that she should introduce herself “Oh, sorry, I should introduce myself! My name is Y/N. Y/N L/N.” She said while she held out her hand. The purple clad turtle shook it “Donatello. Donatello Hamato. Or just Donnie for short.” He gave a small friendly smile. “Well it was nice to meet you Donnie I really should get going tho.” She said as she checked the time ‘CRAP!! How is it 10 o’clock?!?’
Donnie was about to grab his tech-Bo he had sat up against the wall of the alley way, until She said something else. “Wait before you go do you want to hang out sometime?” He looked at her and said a plain ‘Sure’ it sounded blunt when he said that. (If that makes any sense) || So the give each others number :p
Y/N Went home and tried to go to bed, yet should couldn’t something…no someone’s keeping her awake. She could could not get him out of her head. Y/N I just drawn to him somehow. She liked the sarcasm in his voice, and the way the purple compliments his skin. She was not the type of girl to think love at first sight was real; now that she has met Donatello….she might just believe that it exists.
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YAY!! Got that done Ik it was short but should I do a part 2?? I really enjoyed writing this it’s not fully edited I will do that as soon as possible hopefully 🤞
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Hey!! i thought you ttpd review was really interesting! weirdly enough, i personally liked the songs at the bottom of your list ranking more ( i can do it with a broken heart is still one of my favs though). i think this album was kinda for adults? i mean.....most of the songs didnt really resonate with my experience, probably because i am a child with absolutely zero experience.
idk if this is common with taylor's younger audience, but i never listen her songs as something i can relate to. its more like picking up an really cool book about someone else's life and flipping through it. Or maybe its because i have never had any romantic interest in anyone (which is a scary can of worms im not opening yet) but i really liked her storytelling more that her songs about personal stuff. overall though this is probably still one of my favourite album of hers yet.
i read this post where someone said that you have to have a high IQ or something to understand this album, but i dont think thats it . i think its more about like maturity or being in the stage of life where you can identify with her her stories instead of just enjoying them. (also, being bad at english literature does not mean having a low IQ, so that whole post just kinda pissed me off)
idk if this makes sense cuz im not good at writing my thoughts out, but i had feelings about this album and u seemed open to listen! i would love to hear your opinion on it!
anyway i hope ur having a great day! sending virtual hugs ♡♡♡
Hi! Yeah, I completely agree with what you said about IQ. It has nothing to do with intelligence and all to do with relating to the songs. But also....people can appreciate good songs without having gone through the same experience, and I think that's why you like them, you know? They might not hit in the same way, but they still affect you.
As far as being an adult versus younger, yeah that makes sense. This is definitely a more adult album. I think the reason Taylor has so many fans is because she can reach so many audiences- this album just so happens to reach the more adult audiences and that's valid!
Sending love! <3
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regardingjenmish · 1 year
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Just a tiny “review” of the new album
Okay so these are just some first thoughts I had while listening to the album. No, fr i just wrote it down on post it notes while listening so half of it probably makes zero sense
First thought: Jensen absolutely KILLED it on this album. Second thought: oh this is why it took so long because Jensen was busy working and this is a lot of Jensen. Lowkey his album ngl Right Kind of trouble: A little more vibey and chill than it was at the concert. Jensen obviously sounds amazing and the song is for sure still a favorite. I love the piano solo towards the end and when the song speeds up it becomes even better just like at the concert if that makes sense(?)
Forever ain’t long: Jensen, sir?!?!?!?! his voice is insane and I’m obsessed. I love this song and once again the piano/guitar solo makes the whole thing even better. The song is beautiful, it is a little slow but it’s amazing. And again HIS VOICE
Every Light: that’s Dean’s song idc I didn’t make the rules. I am still obsessed with the ‘booze and cheap tattoos’ lyric, especially because of how Jackles sings it. (also the violin in the back is perfect)
Ain’t no tellin: JENSEN??? The voice!!!! It has a really familiar vibe and i love it. His voice sounds fucking amazing (i swear this is a remark on every song and no one is surprised)
You made me blue: It’s a nice song, obviously a little sad and Steve is the one singing it..
Keep on ramblin’: Jensen bby.. at this point just give me a solo album please. I like the lyrics. It makes me think of something/a feeling that I can’t put a finger on right now. It kind of makes me think of just playing this song while you’re driving in the middle of the night with the windows down even tho it’s not that type of song im sorry idk how to explain it, i did say it won’t make sense
Sweet Escape: hey steve
Return to me: it’s a lovely song that’s more calm and it’s both of them so the vibe is pretty good. it does make me think of like a movie scene where people are slow dancing and someone is just about to leave in the middle of the night idk how to explain otherwise fjdhjfksjs
Restless man: Jensen???? sir, your voice is making me emotional!! I can’t handle this shit! the lyrics are also a little sad. I don’t know how else to explain except that it reminds me of a goodbye from a certain type of life? Nothing bad or sad, just that feeling when you realize a certain moment is ending or beginning idk leave me alone its 1 am however that could be me projecting bc im going through it jshdkjskd. When he sings ‘I found out long ago’ i fucking love the way he sings it, his voice sounds absolutely amazing are we really surprised. And I love the song, especially when it picks up a little bit.
Velvet sky: It’s a nice calm down to end the album especially after Jensen absolutely killed it. Steve is the one singing (Jensen joins in a little bit) and it’s pretty good song. good way to end it.
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pixiecapsalt · 3 months
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time to qsmp talk
theres multiple things about the new server that i do enjoy i love the new mods and i mean lootr is so awesome for dungeons and theres a lot more cool blocks and decorations to build with and i think bounties are actually fun to give people stuff to do and i love the new world and everyone starting from zero and new builds.
but theres also the cons! i truly would not have minded the economy system if it wasnt so invasive to the gameplay. i dont mind “money” being established when it comes to buying silly things like cosmetics or the plushies or generally things that dont impede you being unable to craft. i understand why everything is behind a paywall, i get it, they want to really promote this system and get the players involved but its such a drastic shift from being able to simply craft a waystone.. to having to pay for every single one you want. it’s rough. it dont see the point really in having a mod in the game but locking it behind money and removing essentially its utility to the players. with every con though theres pros like its interesting to see how players develop transportation for themselves to get around easier i mean points towards foolish have you ever seen a man so dedicated to breeding fast horses. but again that doesnt lessen the unfortunate aspect of waystones, warpstones, and such being less available.
i dont see the point in putting the nether behind a paywall i dont get why they have to grind for it as if they havent waited long enough and tried millions of things go get the nether already. its odd. though again i think these choices make sense in the story like the island is being run by a new character mr bunny and he’s obsessed with money so it makes sense for the players to live in this capitalistic hellscape where they need to even pay to teleport. i think it reinforces the power and imbalance between the federation and the islanders. they thought they had it bad but they continue to make their lives worse. i think all of this works actually really well in the story my issue is that when you look at it from any other lens its not fun. it feels unnecessary and forced onto the players, which again makes sense in the story, to partake in. idk i think if the admins wanted to delay the nether being opened then they couldve just done that without the collective spending. it feels really weird. i always wanted the nether opening to be this cool grand lore moment but it feels like its just going to be “woo u wasted money congrats here u go” not nearly as thrilling as if the players idk uncovered information from the federation and the bunnies and found a way to make a permanent functioning portal that would lead to this opening moment.
the whole thing with the coins is such a shame because i wanted it to be good but as of right now it doesnt bode well with me. also makes me question what about all the players duck coins they had earned prior to the reset? where did those go? once they go back to their old builds can they deposit that money?
i wouldnt even say earning coins is hard like the admins have offered a variety of ways to get coins my main issue is all the things behind these payments with the coins. i dont get the nerf with waystones i dont get why. i dont know. i’d like to have a genuine chat with the admins over what the future of the smp looks like to them and what their aim is with all these features. i want to understand better so im able to watch and know what the point is before simply criticizing ignorantly. but im sure they’ve received a lot of negativity already and i dont want them to be discouraged. im just honestly curious like the beginning of purgatory was confusing and jarring but once we got the premise of what it is and what its purpose is meant to be in relation to the server i personally ended up enjoying it throughly.
anyways peace and love on planet earth ily admins and qsmp team (please set us free)
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thesoftestcowboy · 2 months
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thoughts on the colors red, blue, green, and yellow? any comments on the shapes triangle, square, or circle?? rhombus
first of all i gotta tell you that im enjoying this ask twice as much cause i got multiple spam asks since yesterday and did not expect an actual question... anyway. im gonna answer this 200% in earnest, as it should be, obviously (yes i actually did write this out, strap in ig)
red: listen i know everyones favorite color seems to be blue for some reason but red is RIGHT THERE. i heard somewhere that not all languages differentiate the same colors as english (and other european languages), but the first color after light/dark there will be a word for is usually red. idk if thats true but seems plausible, cause yknow whats red? fuckin berries to eat, also blood (either concerning or also to eat, ig). cavepeople knew red was important business. also its pretty and you use it to make pink.
blue: not to imply that blue isnt also good. its got a range. looks very fresh. i do like a teal-ish blue but others are cool also. its really rare in nature ig? but if it does occur its looks rly good! (im saying this rn cause my desktop wallpaper has blue flowers lmao) also if i had a cent for every time i had dreams with intense, seemingly really significant blue night skies, i'd have 2 cents, which isnt much but weird etc etc.
green: ok i like green but, unpopular opinion time, i want neither a green couch nor a green kitchen. i want a pink couch and a blue kitchen. that being said green fucks and is part of some iconic things, such as HES GEEN, and also my favorite song green soop by dooboo, which references the fact that soups can be green (@geminyde)
yellow: finally yellow is super underappreciated. im kinda mad that yellow doesnt suit me super well in clothes cause theres so many cool yellow things id want on a shirt. people only ever think of bright neon yellow but it also had SHADES.
now, the shapes. people at art school will try to convince you that these have some deeper meaning and even a gender (??) cause some guy whose name i forgot claimed they do and thats bs. heres the actual truth about them. triangle pointy. also an instrument! theyre really flexible cause they can have wildly different angles and like?? thats different from squares, which are literally all the same, except for size ig? but thats nice it gives them a sense of stability. theyre ol reliable. ever wonder why they had town squares but never town triangles? well,
anyway the circle is most definitely the princess of shapes. you might think its really basic compared to like uhh a trapezoid or whatever cause you learn about it in kindergarten, but its so fucked up it has ZERO angles?? but then if you wanna render it its got a huge amount of angles/into infinity instead? you can calculate any shapes area with basic maths basically but ohh noo not the circle. its soo special. we love that for him but you gotta be honest.
ngl i had to look up what a rhombus is and its just idk a Raute ig. its a rectangle who wants to be special. which is fine we all need some attention sometime but like, its a rectangle on its side. its doing its own thing. i think it should have a different english name tho tbh. rhombus reminds me of the name rhonda and that has a different vibe. idk if that one was also a question or just an addition tbh but there u go
so thats it thanks for asking like comment subscribe
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steveharrington · 1 year
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Hi! I just saw your post about Steve being abandoned by the narrative and I found it so interesting, but I have a question and a wonder on your thoughts.
First, how was Steve supposed to die? I knew he was suppose to die in s1 initially, but I assumed it was at the hand of the demogorgan, but if Lonnie helped Jonathan and Nancy, ig he wasn't there. Was he supposed to die in the pool instead of barb, and she didn't exist in the og script? But that feels a lil too early considering other things hadn't happened yet, so how did he die?
Also, I was thinking about whta you said in regards to Steve getting tortured has an almost light hearted tone to it, and im wondering what you think may have contributed to that tone? He's getting beat up, he's begging for his life, the general is intimidating, what about the scene somehow makes it feel less scary than other scenes? Part of me wants to sya the lighting, since it's in a well lit sterile room, but even in those lab scenes with El in the beginning, it was still scary. Idk what do u think?
so the funny thing is that the duffers apparently don’t even remember how they were going to kill steve, just that he was gonna die and lonnie would take his place during the demogorgon fight before joe keery charmed them too hard and they changed their minds
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(this was apparently said during netflix geeked prior to s2 according to this rotten tomatoes article)
as for the torture scene, i just think they added way too much like…joking around? his whole little spiel about the uss butterscotch and the way he stops to be like “or maybe it’s gelato where you come from 🤣” and the fake out when the guards laugh, it’s all very goofy and kinda going in the direction of a comedic scene until they knock him out and then you’re like holy fuck. idk if the duffers intended that, maybe they thought it would be like a way to subvert audiences expectations and kinda sucker punch us the same way steve gets sucker punched, but it just creates a weird….vibe. there’s also the bit where he and robin are giggling and refusing to answer and when they suddenly start pulling on steve’s nail with pliers it just becomes insanely dark insanely fast, to the degree where i saw a gifset of that scene recently and i thought like wow that last gif (plier fingernail bit) looks like it belongs to a different gifset just from how quickly the tone changes. in scenes where el is getting tortured or hopper is getting tortured it’s treated So Seriously there’s absolutely zero comedy there are zero jokes or bits written in, which makes sense! it’s torture! but for steve i really think they struggle to write him in any mode but comedic and it just strikes a weird tone
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jessvivwinter · 1 year
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!!OBX3 SPOILERS!!
i have quite a few things to say, so hold on tight.
1. i’m really happy about jiara but now that’s it’s ACTUALLY happened idk how to feel and suddenly it does now feel a little forced, i feel as though jonas pate saw how much everyone loved the ship and shoved the characters together too quickly, like literally within the first 2 episodes we had JJ go absolutely feral over getting kiara back and then by ep 3 they had nearly kissed, i mean we all know that JJ is impulse and erratic at times but COME ON, yes we did get jiara scenes last season but it literally felt like it went from 0 to 100 real quick. on top of that it also felt like the only thing JJ was focused on this season was kie which irritated me because JJ is such a complex character and jonas pate spent the last two seasons building the complexity of it only for him to basically completely throw it away and basically have JJ only focus on kiara the whole time, i also thought it was incredibly unrealistic for practically no one else to be bothered by kiara getting abducted TWICE. both times it literally felt like only JJ cared about getting her back, not to mention when she got taken to the wilderness camp NO ONE ELSE WENT WITH HIM TO FIND HER?! there’s just no way that’s realistic in my mind, literally all of them love kiara like a sister and no one went to help him get her?!
2. i’m not a fan of jjpope, they literally have no romantic chemistry, do i think they would die for each other, 100%, they are like brothers and they would do anything for each other but they have zero chemistry. HOWEVER, in my mind JJ and Pope are definitely bisexual and it would not surprise if they had confided in each other about it, hence why they are SO close.
3. why is not one of the characters single, like im sorry, i do really like the ships, but it’s so predictable and overdone to have 3 guys and 3 girls and to just match them up, that’s basically it but i feel like it’s very irritating ALSO WHY DID JONAS WRITE THAT SARAH CHEATS, ABSOLUTELY NOT, NOT HAVING IT, IM IGNORING IT EVEN HAPPENED
4. lastly WTF WAS THE ENDING. that’s one of the main things bothering me atm besides the way jiara has panned out. what was the need for the 18 MONTH TIME SKIP?! suddenly we have a year and a half missing from the story and it seems everyone’s got their life together? which btw doesn’t make any sense considering john b and JJ are both without parents and DCS would be on their asses like hot potatoes. also the random guy at the end? why did they make it seem like suddenly 6 teenagers are now antique specialists and know everything there is to know.
overall, i am quite frankly confused and incredibly conflicted. on one hand i absolutely adore this show and don’t want to critique it like i have but on the other hand there are so many things bothering me and it’s beginning to worry me that obx is just going to turn into the next riverdale which btw i will not stand for cause that show is a shit show, BUT i must say JJs comedy this season was gold and im glad we got more of it this season. please tell what if anyone else agrees with me cause NONE OF MY FRIENDS HAVE EVEN STARTED WATCHING IT AND IM GOING TO GO FERAL.
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