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listen-to-the-inner-walrus · 11 months

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so i have a soft spot for the 2006 film poseidon which is a film i reckon about 24 other people remember existing since warner bros lost like $70million on it, and i just like, need to talk about it.

its a loose remake of a 1972 film, and overall, its a very silly film, however its also connected to massive advancements in oceanography, and through that connection, also connected to an incident that could have killed around 10000 american recruits during ww2 in less than an hour.

and i cannot stop thinking about this stupid film so please enjoy this stupidly long post no one is going to read because I Need To Infodump.

so poseidon (2006)...

it's a very of its time disaster film with your group of plucky survivors trying to overcome more and more obstacles as they desperately fight for safety. among them, youve got kurt russell as an ex nyc firefighter and mayor because its 2006, of course you do. emmy rossums here because of course she is (again, its 2006), and surprise richard dreyfus is here as a gay naval architect who survives the film. fergie even has a cameo and its honestly a crime that the song she sings for it is not on spotify.

but the film is also very much not a of its time disaster film, because production decided to not update the setting. and i have absolutely no idea why. and its confused me for years now because its an easy fix.

see the 1972 film (the poseidon adventure) and the book its based on, both take place on an ocean liner, and that makes sense for that time.

contrary to popular beliefs, ocean liners =/= cruise ships.

during the late 19th century and most of the 20th century, ocean liners were all the rage, because if you wanted to go from liverpool to new york, they were your best bet.

with the invention of steam engines, they were no longer dependent on weather, and once wood was swapped for steel, they were at serious less risk of sinking. this meant they could run reliable trips from point a to point b and back again. they were essentially buses for the ocean. thats what titanic was btw.

while less popular due to jet travel in the 70s, people were still using them. the ss michelangelo sailed her maiden voyage in 1965, and ran for ten years still. it does make sense for both the book and film to take place on an ocean liner.

it does not make sense for the 2006 iteration to take place on an ocean liner, but it does. and its not even an ocean liner turned cruise ship like the rms queen mary 2 or the ss france/ss norway. there were no ocean liner only businesses operating in 2006 because you can now take a plane rather than a five day trip across the atlantic.

but in poseidon (2006), the rms poseidon is not a cruise ship. it is an ocean liner, and designating it as rms means it is also delivering international royal mail. theres even a plot about a stowaway aboard the ship which is just a tad bit bizarre. its such an odd choice not to simply update it so its a cruise ship. most people dont know the difference between them, theres no reason to specify that it is an ocean liner.

(its especially odd because the gay naval architect apparently knows the vessel very well which, sir, who is paying you to draft up ocean liner designs in 2006??)

weirdly enough though, the film does decide to update the actual cause for the disaster, which will bring us back to the ww2 point.

the general gist of the story is that some environmental event causes the ship to capsize (turn upside down in the water), and our heroes have to escape the ship.

i have attempted to read the book, but i didnt enjoy it and i was getting a feeling that the author, paul gallico, was antisemitic. he was. he specifically expressed it by saying jewish folks love basketball because its a game specialised for tricky characters, to paraphrase. yeah no theres also basketball antisemitism going on.

in the book, its an underwater earthquake that causes the ship to capsize. the quake created a 90ft wave (put a pin in that, we'll get back to it) which i believe hit the ship side-on, after the ship fell into a deep trough.

i have no idea if this is possible irl as im just an autistic with a special interest in ocean liners.

in the 1972 film, its a tsunami that hits the ship. i believe the tsunami is also caused by an underwater earthquake (again, put a pin in that) which would hit the ship on the side and cause it to roll right over (put a pin in this too btw).

again, i dont know about the veracity of this happening irl. i know tsunamis are related to underwater earthquakes, but as far as i know, they dont form into the massive wave until the wave is closer to shore?

but anyway, in the 2006 film, the capsizing is caused by a rogue wave.

as aforementioned, my special interest is ocean liners so i know quite a lot about rogue waves and i dont know how much of that is common knowledge so time for another abrupt explanation of niche topics.

so rogue waves, what are they? well, theyre big fuck off waves. descriptions tend to put them anywhere from 50ft high to 100ft (10 stories high).

for a wave to be considered a rogue wave, it needs to be more than twice the height of any other wave in that region. theyre unpredictable and often occur out of nowhere. theyre more common in some specific regions like off the coast of south africa, and are distinct from tsunamis. they can occur both in the ocean and on the great lakes.

for centuries, sailors have told tales of them but like krakens and sea monsters, they werent believed. this is partly due to survivorship bias because if youre in a wooden sailboat and get hit by a rogue wave, youre not going to survive. it was only after advancements in ship building that people began to survive them. and even then, its not guaranteed.

some theorise rogue waves were responsible for the sinking of both the ss munich/munchen and the edmund fitzgerald.

still, it wasnt until one was recorded by a research post in 1995 that rogue waves genuinely became a serious topic within oceanography.

however, we did have credible reports of them hitting ocean liners long before then. both the rms lusitania (in 1910) and the ss michelangelo (in 1966) were badly damaged when they ran into rogue waves bow first (head-on). they both fell into deep troughs before the wave hit and both of their bows sustained serious damage. three people lost their lives on the ss michelangelo.

(damage done to ss michelangelo)

despite this, it was preferable for both vessels to hit the wave head-on. both were ocean liners with bows designed to break through waves, and designed to be able to keep sailing even if the bow was caved in.

(fun fact: if titanic had hit the iceberg head on, there was a very good chance she wouldnt have sunk)

now you might want to know why we know it was preferable to be hit head-on, and why i specified the ship would have been hit side-on. this is how the ship was hit in the 2006 film also. and well, this is when were getting into ww2 territory.

the lusitania and michelangelo are not the only ocean liners to encounter a rogue wave. this also happened to the rms queen mary in 1942.

just some quick background on the queen mary; she was launched in 1936 and built with the goal of stealing the blue riband (the record for fastest journey for a passenger line from southampton to new york) from the ss normandie, owned by french line. queen mary was owned by the cunard line whose reputation partly rested on speed. both the lusitania and mauritania (both cunard ships) had won the blue riband at some point. in 1942, queen mary held the blue riband and was considered the fastest passenger liner in the world.

at that point though, she has been requisitioned by the admiralty for the war effort and was acting as a troop ship. a very effective troop ship as she averaged 28 knots in speed and they managed to up her capacity from around 3300 (including crew) to 16000.

she also was owned by cunard line who have a long history of conferring with the admiralty during peacetimes. their ships were designed with spaces left for guns and weapons. part of why the lusitania was sunk by a u-boat in ww1 was her secretly carrying firearms back from the "neutral" america to the uk despite it still being a passenger ship. the admiralty knew queen mary would be a massive benefit in a war.

this isnt to say that she was perfect, however. she was a famous roller. see, when youre building a ship, you expect it to roll somewhat on any difficult seas. to combat extreme rolling (which can be fatal), ships are built with their centres of buoyancy and gravity close together. this reduces rolling, but can cause very sudden lists (tilts). as queen mary was a big fuck off ship, it was assumed she wouldnt roll badly, so she was designed with a slightly bigger gap between those centres which caused very slow rolling from side to side. this often felt like the ship would never right itself, and as handrails were not considered necessary at first, passengers had to shuffle down hallways.

cunard took her in for repairs and added stabilisers to lessen the roll. they also added handrails. it didnt fix the rolling, but it was bearable and not considered dangerous. she soon became a superstar liner, and again, a very good troop ship.

hitler had even put a monetary bounty specifically on the queen mary for whichever submarine could shoot her, with the iron cross promised also. this did not come to pass.

(rms queen mary as a troopship)

what did come to pass, however, was a 92ft high rogue wave smashing into her portside (left). this is the absolute opposite of what you want to happen.

there was an attempt to steer her head-on into the wave but ocean liners that size take two miles to stop moving. they also couldnt risk too sudden of a turn because they were in the atlantic in a storm. this attempt to change course is repeated in the 2006 film and is also unsuccessful.

so now when the wave hit queen mary, it caused her to begin listing to starboard (right side) because a 90ft ocean wave just smashed into her. and she began to list. the portholes broke and wager poured in, making the list worst.

at first, it was 15°, then 20°, then 25°, 30°, 40°, 50°, 52°

then she stopped. and she stayed there, listing 52° to starboard. she was nearly capsized. and what must have felt like hours for those 11000 recruits and crew, she just stayed there, nearly on her side in the atlantic ocean.

and then finally, she began to right herself, one degree at a time, until she was back steady as if nothing had happened.

the technicians had later examined the ship and estimated that if shed listed just 3° extra, they would have capsized and sank, taking 11000 men with her.

so i imagine at this point, if youre even reading this anymore, youre like okay, kai, we get it, you dont wanna get hit broadside by a rogue wave, do we need all this detail?

and well, no. you dont need to know it and i dont need to tell it but here i am, telling you so.

but it is very relevant to poseidon (2006) because remember how its a remake of a film based on a book? and that book was written by the basketball antisemite? yeah, so paul gallico was on board the queen mary when this happened.

and this is what inspired him to write the book.

obviously, at the time, we didnt fully understand rogue waves so gallico explained it as an underwater earthquake, but we know now it was a rogue wave.

and so the 2006 film honours that and makes it a rogue wave. they never really explain it so unless youre insufferable like me, you might just be like what the fuck? is that poseidon (god) doing that?

but im gonna redirect your attention to the fact that the queen mary was 3° away from capsizing and that 3° could have caused an entirely different outcome to the war.

if she had capsized, she would have taken 10000 recruits with her and the allies would have lost their best troop ship. morale would have been affected because back then, ocean liners were household celebrities. they were adored by residents.

im not a historian, and especially not a war historian, so im not gonna be like oh look alternate history where the nazis won oooh how edgy?

but like, just a few more feet of water on that wave and parts of ww2 would be so different.

it also would have affected the cunard line massively after the war, and the white star line (titanics owners) as well. i believe their merger was after ww2.

also, gallico would have died so his book wouldnt have existed, neither would the film adaptation or the remake. it all just comes back around like a never ending carousel of feral seahorses.

but anyway, away from all the existential crises. i wanted to actually address what made me want to write this stupidly long post in the first place:

an article i skim read that addressed the veracity of the inciting event in the 2006 film, aka the rogue wave.

after a mostly accurate explanation of rogue waves and at least one misuse of cruise ship for ocean liner, the article concluded that a rogue wave hitting an ocean liner like that was simply so unlikely, it was basically impossible.

and if youve got this far in my ramblings, you might be able to understand the level of bafflement i felt reading that.

because while it is a fair conclusion as it is a very unlikely thing to happen. but THIS FILM EXISTS BECAUSE A ROGUE WAVE SMASHED INTO AN OCEAN LINER AND NEARLY CAPSIZED IT

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isabelguerra · 9 months

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Pov: tumblrnatural

📷girlzone 4:00 pm

Im gonna say it

#😐

📷girlzone 4:01 pm

Rwby wasnt that good.

#its not even a hot take #its just like #true

💖dimidame 4:07 pm

collin darling I love you but suzy is going to kill you for this

#😮‍💨

📷girlzoned 4:09 pm

Let her gay ass try.

#not like we dont try and murder eachother every day

💣camcoded 4:50 pm

COLLIN.

#WRONG. WRONG. WRONG WRONG WRONG. #I SUPPORT WOMENS WRONGS BUT NOT THESE WRONGS

📷girlzone 4:56 PM

Yes, Suzy?

#🤨🎤

💣camcoded 5:09 pm

Im going to kill you.

#🔪

📷girlzoned 5:18 pm

Why do you hate trans women Suzy

#girl #🏳️‍⚧️? #suzy transphobia arc?

💣camcoded 5:20 pm

I DONT HATE TRANS WOMEN

💣camcoded 5:21 pm

I JUST HATE YOU

💖dimidame 5:30 pm

You are, like.... objectively wrong tho

#and collin is right #😏 #its a bad show. Sorry girl #girl

💣camcoded 5:31

WHY DOES NOBODY LOVE ME.

#why does nobody support me. Its a good show guys #ITS A GOOD SHOW

🔪butchtheeagle 6:50 pm

@📷girlzoned are you gonna take her to the vet or

#also lol. suzy bad takes hours again #not a response for over an hour #did the girls abandon you? #tw transphobia #<- bc u disagreed with collin

💣camcoded 6:55

ALL OF U HATE ME

#GRAAAAH

----

🐸 frogsaretrans 12:34 am

Day 8 no zaza. I can feel the remnants of my flesh dripping slowly down the wall

#doobie wooby #burgerspeaks

🐺 anarchydotcom 12:37 am

I thought you died

#talking dmm #hi ed

🐸 frogsaregay 1:34 am

they got 5g up here

#doobie wooby #burgerspeaks #looool hi violet what’s up my dude

----

🔪 butchtheeagle 2:09 pm

im gonna start writing joe biden/davey jones rpf

#my ao3 is shred-e-gal btw #im not serious but what if i was. what then.

📷 girlzoned2 2:18 pm

Max you posted this on main

#hi max #also check your dms

🔪 butchtheeagle 2:19 pm

SIHT uhmmm uhmm imean who said that

#hi collin girlie #i am NOT opening that link it looks evil

---

🌩 bpd-sasuke 3:34 am

why is nobody talking about how jerma is literally some of the best rep for the queer community ever

🌩 bpd-sasuke 9:24 am

Hi guys! Sorry about any confusion this post might have caused- I forgot to take my meds and the jaiden animations video (the one where she came out) somehow registered as a jerma video for me! Lol!

#let a girl have her delusions sometimes okay #/j #leave me alone #a

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🔥 hotshittr 11:32 am

if google says my girl js wrong no she isnt . google aint rememberin right 💯

#ollie too #i trust him #if google says hes wrong no he aint

---

you are doing some cocomelon shit to me

#paranatural #asks #anon #just got back from flamecon it was a 7hr drive its 2am. my brain did NOT comprehend what this was for a solid 4ish minutes #also these urls are so funny crying over the return of bpdsasuke and hotshittr

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scribble-brain-aced · 4 months

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HI I WAS GONNA REPLY IN THE POST AND THEN DEIDED TO PUT IT IN AN ASK INSTEAD LMFAO

ANYWAYS

I have no clue how ours are so similar, we just are psychicly linked ig (silly) RAMBLING TIME my handplates dust hc came to me in a vision (daydream-) bcs i just,,, i love dust angst and theres so much you could do with that. also handplates is neat but dust really feels like the only one of the mtt that could be from a handplates?? i dont know how to describe it but just, the vibes are right. also him and cross can bond over asshole gasters! (also like. ive seen posts about how 'hard' it would be for dust to happen in canon sans but like,, i feel like if he started as a handplates it somehow works more??? hes already fucked up from that even if they cant properly remember that and he was like fully prepared to let gaster die (and did kinda, kill him iirc-) so like. it fits to me) (also im actively re-reading handplates bcs i never finished it n i need it for dust things-) and then ok my blind killer is. kinda funny in origin- so i first got the idea kinda from a gacha life video- it was some small one thats like "'blank' is blind for 24 hours" that was with killer being blind and there was a comment on it about him being blind in canon (which i dont think is true? couldnt find anything else on it n youd think more ppl would like blind killer if that was true-) anyway that like. rotted in my brain for months and it just kinda. got absorbed into my headcanons of him either having like. really bad vision (like urs!!) or just being fully blind n using entirely magic to navigate (my current ver!!) and then when im humanizing them bcs i prefer to draw humans i just kinda. revoked his eye privlages. no more. gone. (also wonderful for angst purposes!!!(i have a thing for angst-))

anyway now im really curious if our aus have any more similaritys (i mean. the dust speaking korean one as well but i think more ppl have that than the others-)

also i want to put our aus in a room together. to see what happens. study them like insects lmfao

honestly yeah, Dust just has The Vibes, thought it would be cool. As for the blind killer thing, I just wondered how he sees through the tears, bc vision gets real blurry, and our tears are CLEAR SO HOW DOES THIS BITCH SEE??? and then i just got obsessed with the idea.

here’s my suggestion:

we shove our Nightmare’s Gangs into a room and take notes, like they’re rats in a maze.

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quack-ity · 10 months

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these days you couldnt make a kinnie account. you just couldn't. the youth of today well they have lives. they get to go outside. it isnt a fandom of 200 tumblr users who are all stuck in online school sitting around the house 18 hours a day. theyre all getting their serotonin from going outside and looking at trees and talking to people in shops. nobody wants to sit completely still and read/write/respond to tumblr asks in the style of a content creator. you'd get a callout post. dreamceler? dead. theyd kill you. dream x sans? dead. theyd doxx you, and they would dm ash kabosu about it on twitter. but me? i remain. online classes. nothing to do. i sit down for movie lengths of time all day every day. its my burden to carry. i can only get serotonin from impersonating famous people. i dont do it well. in 24 hours my wes anderson account will drop. who knows what will happen. ash kabosu may get dms about it on twitter but he doesnt have power there does he. no jurisdiction whatsoever. it's a matter of the heart. it has to do with the tism i think infects us all. i will never make a final post on this blog because i need it to live on. i am a many faceted being. its your job to understand me. so get on with it. goodnight

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capitainecorbeau · 2 years

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Okay so apparently there was some french/english back and forth with the Les Miserables musical (the book was written in french, then the musical itself adapted in english, and then adapted back into french if I'm not mistaken) and I began to, of course, compare the different versions of the songs I like ! I tend to prefer the french version, it feels like some things were lost (or gained ?) in translation and I want to talk about it because it makes my brain go :D

Let's start with Javert's suicide !

VALJEAN:

C'est toi Javert! / It’s you Javert !

Tu n'as pas attendu longtemps/ You didn’t wait long

Fidèle serviteur de l'ordre à son poste/ Faithful servant of order/law at his post

Alright so 'ordre' here does mean order but it's also used in a slightly specific/metaphorical context ? Like it very much means the law, 'peace' (as in the one maintained by the state), the status quo.

Cet homme est innocent/ This man is innocent

Only a slight difference here, 'he's innocent' instead of 'he's done no wrong', but f version describes a quality while e version describes action (or lack thereof).

Il a besoin d'un docteur/he needs a doctor

JAVERT:

Je t'ai prévenu je ne céderai pas/ I warned you I won’t give in/yield

Non, je t'arrête/ No, I’m arresting you

F Javert is more forceful here, trying to arrest Valjean instead of reiterating he won't listen to him

VALJEAN:

Une petite heure et je me rends/A small hour and I’ll surrender/give myself in

Je viens régler ma dette/ I’m here to settle my debt

I am paying my debt rather that than it is payed

JAVERT:

Toujours les hors-la-loi/It’s always the outlaws

Qui parlent de justice!/Who speak of justice!

Javert speaks more generally instead of singling Valjean out ('the man of mercy'), implying many outlaws (litt translation of hors-la-loi, which doesn't have the same old west connotation) have had a lot to tell him about justice (they probably had and it was probably a lot more insightful than whatever javert had to say)

VALJEAN:

Vite son temps est compté/ Quick, his time is running out

Litt 'his time is counted'

Pitié Javert/Please/I Beg you/Have mercy Javert

Vite pendant qu'il respire/Quickly while he breathes

Pitié Javert/

Cet enfant va mourir/This child is going to die

Woof so. 'Pitié'. kind of a bitch to translate especially in the context of a song. Pitié means 'pity', or 'mercy', it is also a word used to beg (like 'please' but you wouldn't use it to ask someone ot pass the salt unless it was a life or death situation). So yeah, please i beg you have mercy rolled into a single word. Also, 'this child is going to die' feels a lot more personal and urgent than 'there is a life to save'

JAVERT:

Prends-le Valjean/Take him Valjean

Avant que je ne regrette/Before I regret it

Et surtout reviens/And most importantly come back

24-601

'Surtout' usually means 'especially' but it can be used for emphasis. Like 'Ne fais pas ça' -> 'Dont' do this' 'Surtout ne fais pas ça' -> 'Really don't do this'. Also 'before I regret it' and before I change my mind mean the same general thing but the former is less emotionnaly ambiguous

Qui est cet homme? Quelle sorte de diable est-il donc/who is this man, what sort of devil is he

Pour laisser repartir libre l'homme qui l'a mis en prison?/To let the man who put him in prison go free ?

This is where the differences between the f and e versions really start to pile up. Here Javert is baffled Valjean let him go because of what he javert did to him, and not just because Valjean had an opportunity to kill him (to have me caught in a trap)

Il tenait entre ses mains tous le fils de mon destin/He held in his hands all the threads of my fate

Et d'un seul geste il pouvait changer le sien!/And in a single move he could change his

Il eût suffi d'un seul coup de couteau/It would've took a single slash of a knife

Mais c'est ma vie qu'il m'a offert en cadeau/But it’s my life that he offered me as a gift

The general meaning is kept intact between the two versions (aka he could've killed me but he didn't) but the pace/order specificities vary. Also 'but it's my life he offered me as a gift' as opposed to, yknow. A stab wound. Also the idea of Valjean 'giving back' Javert's life is not explicitely stated, he had it in his hands, and he offered it, gifted it to Javert, like I dunno if I'm being clear ? Like the diff between 'he had my life in his hands yet he gave it back to me' and 'he had my life in his hands yet he gave it to me'.

Un policier ne doit rien au voleur/A policeman owes nothing to the thief

Un policier ne cède pas au chantage/A policeman doesn’t yield to blackmail

This version is more impersonal, Javert implicitely refers to himself by his role ('a policeman'), as opposed to 'Damned if I'll live in the debt of a thief'. Also implies these concepts are not possible, instead of resenting their existence. A policeman can't be in the debt of a criminal as opposed to I refuse to be in the debt of a criminal. Also 'Chantage' has a broader meaning/use than 'blackmail', it can also mean coercion, pressure when used in interpersonal relationships.

Je suis la loi que personne ne bafoue/I am the law that no one mocks

Et je lui crache sa pitié au visage/And I am spitting his pity in his face

Noir ou blanc, hors la loi ou dedans/Black or white, outside the law or within

Noir ou blanc, c'est Javert ou Valjean/Black or white it’s Javert or Valjean

Michale jackson references aside, it refers back to the Confrontation, where Valjean tells Javert 'You know nothing of this world, it is not all back and white'. And 'Bafouer' is another annoying one to translate, it also carries the meaning of 'tarnish', 'besmirch', 'outrage', and is usually used in the context of authority, or honor.

Comment puis-je permettre à cet homme de me souiller de sa bonté/How can I allow this man to defile me with his kindness

Ooooh this one ! I really like this line, as opposed to the english one (how can I allow this man to hold dominion over me). it refers straight back to Valjean freaking out after the bishop was kind to him. His line was 'Pourquoi ai-je permis à cet homme de me toucher de sa bonté ?'/'Why did I allow this man to touch/move me with his kindness?'. And it really sets the parallel between Valjean, who allowed kindness in, acknowledged he had been wrong (that's debatable but for the sake of the analysis), and let this kindness change him for the better. And Javert, who is horrified by this act of kindness that upends everything he belived in, and choses to die rather than let it in, reconsider and change himself. 'Souiller' is a fun word, it means 'to dirty, soil, sully, tarnish, contaminate, defile'. Not everyday you see that paired with kindness. To think that I would enthusiastically analyse that sort of shit i used to hate with a passion in school :'D But I digress

Cet homme que j'ai suivi à la trace je lui dois ma vie et ma liberté/This man I’ve tracked i owe him my life and my freedom

J'aurais dû périr de sa main sans un remords/I should’ve died by his hand without remorse

My translation is a bit sloppy here, it's Javert who would hold no remorse over Valjean killing him.

Je serais mort comme un soldat ce soir j'ai honte de vivre encore/I would’ve died like a soldier, tonight I’m ashamed to live still

Javert makes not mention of Valjean's right to kill him, or his right to die by his hand. He talks about it more as something that should've happened.

Est-ce qu'une âme se rachète? Est-ce qu'un homme peut changer?/Can a soul redeem itself/be redeemed ? Can a man change ?

Peut-on laver ses crimes? Faut-il lui pardonner?/Can one wash themself of their crimes ? Should I/we/etc forgive him ?

A less clunky and perfectly acceptable translation of 'Faut-il lui pardonner' would be 'should he be forgiven', but the former is still very much and active voice. It's just that it's impersonal, hence the I/we/etc.

Faut-il qu'après toutes ces années je laisse le doute ronger ma vie?/Must I after all these years let doubt eat away at my life ?

Ronger is another fun word, it means 'to gnaw', like rodents do, but it wan also mean 'eat through' or 'eat away' like acid does ! Often carries the implication that there will be nothing left. So it's stronger that the e version 'must i now begin to doubt who never doubted all this years', it's 'must I know let doubts destroy my life'.

J'étais de glace, je me vois fondre il n'est qu'une justice et je l'ai servie/I was ice, I see myself melt there is only one justice and I served it/her

Qu'il vienne du ciel ou de l'enfer il ne sait pas/Whether he’s from heaven or from hell he doesn’t know

Qu'en me rendant ma vie, ce soir il s'est enfin vengé de moi/That by giving me back my life he finally took his revenge on me

Took his revenge on me as opposed to killed me in the e version. Similar ideas, less explicit. Also in french, Justice is very much a she (like death) ! So even if gramatically it should be 'it', I dunno, the way javert speaks about justice does feel like it's more than an abstract concept.

Je le tiens mais il m'échappe les étoiles rient dans le noir/I hold/have him but he flees/escapes from me stars laugh in the dark

In the e version Javert reaches out to nothing in particular, into the void, who knows.

Elles se moquent de la victoire sur moi des forces du mal/they laugh at the victory of the forces of evil against me

Idea that is completely absent in the e version ! That is an extremely dramatic thing to say.

Je préfère quitter ce monde qui tolère les Jean Valjean/i prefer to live this world that tolerates Jean Valjeans

Toute ma vie fut une erreur je la retourne au néant/All my life was a mistake I return it to the void

Another extremely dramatic thing to say that is absolutely not present in the e version ! The man is not being poetic or evasive about it, damn.

Well, that was super long but super fun ! There are a couple other songs i'd like to tackle, like 'Master of the house' which in french is full of very fun colloquialisms and informal speech that can be hard to translate in english !

#babbles #long post #suicide mention #les miserables musical #linguistic nerdery #translation nerdery #if I was a more organized person I would make spreadsheets galore for this sort of stuff

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thoughts-and-gayers · 1 year

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ive been thinking about civil rights recently, specifically trans rights, as thats a marginalized group im a part of thats actively being hurt. i see people talking about the awful things done to trans people, the hate speech, the bills signed into law that make it dangerous for us to even exist. its terrifying to me, to think that im going to be leaving high school and entering a world that actively wants to kill me.

i just watched jessie gender's multi-hour video on jk rowling, and it articulated so many of my thoughts about transness in our. current society that i had no idea how to say. one thing she emphasized was how talking about these specific people, these little one-off incidents, is counterproductive. obviously things like hogwarts legacy and "what is a woman" matter, but should we really be talking about them as much as we are when anti-trans bills are passed faster than we can keep track of?

the way our society is right now, short and snappy thoughts about those tiny 24 hour stories are the only thing that gets attention. when you talk about trans rights, youre saying "dont support harry potter", youre not saying "stop the us government from actively hurting trans people".

but people dont listen when you talk about the big stuff. talking about the latest drama is much more entertaining than talking about the actual horrors that people are facing. we're at a point where we can call pointing and laughing at bigots a form of activism.

its so much easier not to learn about the deeper issues. for non-marginalized folk especially, supporting the marginalized celebrity is a lot easier than addressing systematic issues. but we dont get that privilege. we have to go to bat for the big shit, with or without allies. we dont get the luxury, the privilege, of not taking the time to understand and address bigotry and its sources.

im so tired. its exhausting even just learning about everything thats happening. and im not out of high school yet, so theres not a lot i can actually do out there. im trying to learn everything i can about everything thats happening, and its just so exhausting, all the time. on top of that, i also spend my energy on educating other people, trying to get them to understand what's taken me hours of work to get to myself.

and as a white person, i cant even imagine how much harder it must be for POC, especially when they exist at intersections of queerness, womanhood, disability, and/or more. im trying my best to learn about specific struggles that don't necessarily apply to me, but theres so much that a lot of the time i dont even know where to start.

cis, straight, male, white, abled, allo; people who fall under these dont have an obligation to learn about any marginalized group theyre not a part of, especially if theyre not a part of any of them. but they can still go online and say "fuck celebrity x" and get lauded as the pinnacle of allyship. they can make short, snappy, performative displays of their helpfulness without putting in any of the work to actually help. they have the privilege to do so. i as a white person have the privilege to do so, even if i try not to.

im so scared to go out into the world after i graduate and face all these inequalities, to try and deal with the horrors that high school and the internet have only been a small taste of. the most i can do is learn as much as i can before then, but i lose the motivation to every day when theres so little i can do to help; when the people who can help choose to do nothing anyway.

and this post, the closest thing my hungover ass can get to an in-depth analysis, likely wont get any attention at all. its not short, its not snappy, its not entertaining. its just a teenage nonbinary lesbian ranting about existential dread for way longer than he probably should have. and no, this isnt me begging for a reblog otherwise youre a bad person. saying stuff like that doesnt help anyway, since people would just snuff it out of spite instead of looking at the overall message. its just the way things are, not just here but everywhere.

im just so scared, and tired, and sad, and angry, all the fucking time.

#marie long posts #trans rights #civil rights #activism #queer rights #trans #hogwarts legacy #jessie gender #transphobia #bigotry

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misiwrites · 1 year

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4KINGDOMS RE-READ ADVENTURE part 6

it's been a while. i got back in hopes of finding motivation to keep editing the next chapter to post

Chapter 23: rei being dramatic about max part 154349605 (is there any other content in this entire fic, well yes when it's takao and kai instead)

rei just sounds like he's massively in love with max. already. the story has barely started

wheezed at giancarlo attempting to explain to rei what an answering machine is and rei is just I DONT CARE

this part where giancarlo finds max collapsed and all wet sounds familiar. tfw it's supposed to be rare or "impossible" for max to soak himself and he's already done it twice in this story. i want to think i wrote this in as a prelude to the latter because

He had multiple types of magic to become untouchable by water, too. Unless he really was being threatened by something, there was no way he’d become incapable of using any all of a sudden.

yes indeed! isn't it so!

Chapter 24: heterosexuality takes max to his bed

this one just casually starts off with max describing himself as "a lump of raw meat on a butcher's bench" i-- yes that's your life in my fics. nice that you noticed

so this is where max sees rei with mao and realises oh shit that hurts. oh shit i think i like him. and then he's like "Please, Goddess, if it’s like this, I don’t want it" HAHA brutal. i like it. this chapter had several okay-sounding lines? looks like the curse of the previous batch that i read has been lifted because these aren't as bad. i did some minor editing for more dramatic effect tho lol

Chapter 25: takao finds out that kai, who doesn't know what friends are, has made a friend

i keep repeating takao talking about "cotton candy clouds" and i think it's not intentional but it makes it sound like he's constantly thinking about candy. let's say it's the kind of deal where if you repeat something enough (by accident) it becomes a motif

so takao has a dream about seiryuu that feels like it's trying to tell him something… hmm now what could that be. seiryuu is just a big ass snek floating on the sky in the dream.

gramps casually announces that takao and kai will do a fencing match together next week. it's pretty funny really how ryuunosuke in this story is somehow a mentor figure to both rei and kai. in very different ways but still

i feel like this sums up takao and kai's relationship:

I wanted to imagine that we’d spent a fairly good first week together, even if I hadn't exactly had a single decent conversation with Kai yet.

there's a bit about ralf finding out that takao's been talking to souichirou and takao is like yeah sorry! i won't lie to you again. [proceeds to constantly lie to him throughout the story] so clearly that didn't work out

Chapter 26: max lies in bed. that's it that's the chapter

it's the gay reimax stuff. again. i'll just say i like this passage:

I closed my eyes and lowered my head to place a cheek against my arm, listening to him talk without actually listening to a single word. His voice was like a brook, a delicate spring that I could have listened softly trickle down to my ear for hours on end. And then I thought of all the words said in his voice that would never be meant for me.

the max introspection really ramps up. his thoughts flow really well here, he's so aware of being a jealous little shit when really he's supposed to be happy that rei's got mao.

then judy comes over to his bed like i know you're sick and all but get a grip son. you're cringe

Chapter 27: did i already mention this fic is heavier on the reimax than i maybe realised?

i can't believe the chapter numbers are briefly almost even here. then max chapters just POOF! stop being a thing and he falls behind

anyway so rei is to olivier like. man i'm so fucking bored here that i may kill myself if you don't let me watch movies or whatever. and olivier says: no

actually. this just made me laugh out loud:

Olivier’s response was a nonchalant “no” and that I should either hone my calligraphy skills or learn to paint if I was so bored[…]

"hmm, no! but have you considered: art✨"

AS DID THIS:

I now felt so sick from worry that the green tea I’d had earlier was making its way back up my throat. I could only place my hopes on Giancarlo to stop Max from doing anything stupid.

Giancarlo did not stop Max from doing something stupid.

sooo max is a stupid gay idiot and comes to rei's place sick just to give him a DVD player. cute little detail also that rei charges all the devices with his magic (without realising it)

ah my favourite. when max realises that brushes in the west are human-sized

mao mentions the idea that she'd want to host a ball! ball mentioned! the BALL HAS BEEN DROPPED

max is embarrassed about feeling disgusted by having seen rei and mao together. rei is embarrassed about feeling disgusted by mao hinting at their wedding. they are a delightful disaster! there was exactly one takao chapter in here i'm sorry. for any readers out there. because someone evidently has read this? why

#i read my own fic and die while at it #4kingdoms stuff

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drunkkenobi · 1 year

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I posted 607 times in 2022

That's 176 more posts than 2021!

55 posts created (9%)

552 posts reblogged (91%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@monsteraficionado

@ostensiblynone

@sequencefairy

@worksongnatural

I tagged 597 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#watcher - 275 posts

#shyan - 52 posts

#star wars - 48 posts

#my fic - 24 posts

#ghost files - 19 posts

#buzzfeed unsolved - 18 posts

#fic rec - 12 posts

#kenobi spoilers - 10 posts

#gorgeous - 9 posts

#my spreadsheets - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 128 characters

#i dont think its about the gf premiere selling out since this is in a hotel room (probably in chicago based on outfits and hair)

My Top Posts in 2022:

MADEJ: The fun part about that is, anytime Ryan and I are sort of figuring out an aesthetic thing that Ryan always voices of what I'm thinking, and then I bring visuals to him, and he is like, yes, that's exactly what I was thinking of. BERGARA: Yeah. It's great. MADEJ: It's pretty sweet.

This Collider interview ruined my day

391 notes - Posted September 21, 2022

Blane 2.0 continues to be so important to me

477 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

For fuck’s sake

656 notes - Posted September 16, 2022

These two are killing me tonight

687 notes - Posted September 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Thinking today about two guys who only met because of a number of vaguely absurd circumstances. How one of them was older, but graduated college during the Great Recession and couldn’t find an adult job for years, so when he applied to the BuzzFeed internship, he was 4 or 5 years older than everyone else in his class. And how the other one was supposed to be a cinematographer, but took a chance on something else when the grip life wasn’t cutting it. How neither of them expected to last that long at Buzzfeed, one sure he would get fired for being slow and meticulous, the other assuming he’d cut and run and/or get fired if he didn’t pull unpaid overtime. How they ended up at the same set of desks. How movie trailers got the one to open up. How the other one was, quite literally, not there to make friends. How they became friends anyway. How the one took a simple idea and made it into a five minute video on the Somerton Man with his carpool buddy. How he then asked the other to fill in when the carpool buddy got transferred. How the other one had a free calendar to film a video about the Illuminati. How he kept having a free calendar to go ghost hunting in a mystery house, a terrible island of dolls and spiders, and a unassuming Kansas home. How one of them screaming at a flashlight and the other one laughing changed both their lives forever. How they took an oath to keep doing this with no one but each other. How they took a leap of faith and bet on themselves to start something new with the smartest person they knew. How their timing was cosmically horrible, launching this new thing right as the world shut down. How they persevered when it seemed like it might all end at any second. How they grew their little company, in fits and starts, until they finally got on stable land. How they didn’t even wait before ending their original ghost hunting series to start planning a new one. One where they could make all the rules. And how after months of planning and shooting and editing, that new series is here. And it’s bigger than either of them imagined. How shocked they are that thousands of people have come to see them, how dozens have flown across states and countries to celebrate with them, how millions have watched this show that they’re so proud of. How for the first time, their company has breathing room. How they can finally exhale. How all the hard work and long hours are paying off. How this is just the beginning.

Yeah, I’d be smiling like that too.

1,039 notes - Posted October 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #false #Thanks for being a gay baby with me all year tumblr

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kingofdarkness00 · 1 year

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I posted 12,002 times in 2022

That's 7,787 more posts than 2021!

26 posts created (0%)

11,976 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@pinkdiapers

@reaperlight

@cher3pakha

@dykeboyking

@cielores

I tagged 1,077 of my posts in 2022

#delicious foods - 91 posts

#ns//fw - 91 posts

#plushies - 85 posts

#fanart - 48 posts

#delicious sweets - 45 posts

#eremin - 43 posts

#sam and dean - 30 posts

#9-1-1 - 30 posts

#sebaciel - 24 posts

#wincest - 23 posts

Longest Tag: 94 characters

#i usually dont like at all it but if its incorporated into a dessert well then im okay with it

My Top Posts in 2022:

With the stress brought on by the Noah's Ark Circus case, and the added stress of illness, Ciel's mental state begins to fall apart at the seams; revealing a side of himself that neither he nor Sebastian never knew existed.

Reblogs are dearly appreciated 💛

9 notes - Posted July 19, 2022

It's Ciel's seventh birthday.

Reblogs are dearly appreciated 💚

9 notes - Posted January 11, 2022

If anyone is looking for an editor for your fanfiction or original stories, I'm available for hire. I charge $20 dollars an hour, and all transactions will go through Cash App. Whether you have trouble with English, or just want someone to do the annoying part of writing for you (trust me, I know the feeling lol), I'm here to help.

I do have one condition: I won't edit anything that has non-con in it. I don't mind a bit of dub-con, but for personal reasons, I don't do the hardcore shit. Other than that, I'm game for anything.

I'm currently trying to create a steady income so I can afford to pay rent on an apartment for me and my best friend. We're both in our own shitty living situations at the moment, and we're desperately trying to find ways to earn enough cash to financially support ourselves in a place of our own.

So please, if anyone sees this and needs help, or knows someone who does, send me a massage. If neither of these apply to you, then please give this post an reblog. I'll take as many reblogs as I can get lol.

16 notes - Posted March 25, 2022

Attention Prodigal Son fandom: I’m going to start writing an essay soon on what the show means to me and why I believe it deserves a second chance, and I would love to have some of y’all’s own thoughts and feelings to add to it.

If you’re interested, please email me by Friday at [email protected] . In one or two paragraphs, tell me why the show means so much to you. I probably won’t be able to put everyone’s in, but I promise I’ll put as many of you as I can. Also, at the end of the email, please add whichever social media @ that you’re comfortable with so I can credit you.

If y’all could also RT this post, that would be awesome. Thank you. <3

I don’t know if this essay will do anything at all, but I can still try. I haven’t given up hope that we’ll get this amazing show back. I refuse to give up.

23 notes - Posted August 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

It fucking baffles me how there are antis in the Rick and Morty fandom. Why tf are you even here?? Have you even seen the show??? It's not exactly a wholesome fucking watch. Rick is the farthest thing from a good person, and Morty ain't exactly a sweet angel boy, either. Rick has quite literally destroyed civilizations (including his own), and both these mfs have killed a shit ton of people and aliens (some who did shit all to deserve it), but you're mad that people irl ship them?? Just shut the fuck up.

Nobody in this show is what's considered a good person. Nobody. They either have toxic traits, or are just straight up toxic af. But that's the fucking point. This show isn't meant to be Steven fucking Universe, ffs. It's an Adult Swim cartoon that's about an old alcoholic asshole of a scientist and his horny naive 14 year old grandson who go on or get sucked into dangerous adventures every episode. So if you're gonna be that pressed about people shipping them, or literally any other characters together, then maybe you should stop watching the show entirely, since everything that's said and done is SO far from being the "uwu I love my family and feel nothing but wholesome love for them" good morals that you fantasize every show and movie catering to.

🖕🏼

24 notes - Posted August 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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fractured-clockface · 3 months

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long post, vent about a nightmare i had last night. trigger warning dream children in mortal danger and general disturbing content. i just really wanted to talk about it and get it off my chest

after being awake for 24 hours and working two shifts nearly back to back, i finally laid down to sleep. i only slept two hours and had the worst nightmare i can remember ever having. it was several hours ago now, so the details were fuzzy.

i was a mother, expecting, with two children with me already. i and several friends who id known for years were trapped in a room, and outside the room parasites were taking over adults and using them to kill off other humans. we adults were trapped but my children could escape, though they needed a pouch of materials to return. they couldn't come back without it.

i gave my children one pouch each, and urged them to be careful doing whatever dream logic said they needed to do. i was so so terrified for their safety. i tried to make them understand they couldnt lose their pouches. they left, and one returned - i scolded them for wasting the pouch and gave them two more so they both could come back.

i vividly remember holding the pouch in their hands, purely scared out of my mind for them, urging them to be careful and come back

they did. they brought an adult man with them, and his eyes were a glowing bright blue that meant he was possessed by a parasite. he immediately began murdering the friends id known for years, while another friend pulled me back and tried to protect me.

i was frozen in sheer terror and shock. my friends were dying horrible gruesome deaths around me. my children were in mortal danger - including my unborn child. and i was completely useless, paralyzed by fear, while everything was happening around me.

the man who tried to pull me back directed my children, my poor innocent babies, to attack and kill the man with a special weapon. i screamed out "no" because my children would be traumatized enough without a murder on their hands, but they followed through and killed the possessed man.

then the surviving friend turned out to be possessed as well. i woke up just as i discovered this, and broke down sobbing and hyperventilating and pulling my hair because my kids, my kids, my kids. that's all i could think of. my kids, my kids, my kids.

thats why it was the worst nightmare ive ever had. because my kids were in danger and i couldnt save them. i woke up and abandoned them in the dream alone to die. i felt such grief and loss and guilt and fear over these children - and they weren't even real.

i dont understand how all parents don't feel even more intense love for their children. its unreal, inhuman, impossible. i can't understand it.

#long post #vent #we dont have a dream protector alter anymore and fuck we need one stat #im so tired i want to sleep but i cant #its now been 28hrs since i actually slept #wait not not 28 #its been 32 hours without sleep

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leafeonb · 3 years

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whenever i make a liveblog post for this game i think "yeah that dont make any sense. post it"

#lulu.txt #999 lb #MANY THOUGHTS also okay continuing the last tag from the last post i hope i remember what the fuck i was talking about >>>>>>>>#so i dont know if this is evidence for that i dont really think it was him bc??? it wouldn't make much sense but the voice said ''ah'' after #the pause when they were reading the second part of the truth had gone note and the character that says that sometimes is snake....but its #usually when hes correcting something he said but. i dont think it was snake? it doesnt make sense ITS LIKE its like junpei was getting #information from the morphogenetic field. he accessed the field....but. who told him that?? i think if he simply got that from the junpei #from another timeline it would be so fucked like HELLO??? but......its making me think. its so 0_0 that junpei could only access the field #at this moment....right now. but then after that its like his mind keeps flashing WHAT DOES IT MEAN.....WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN likr #like. when snake was talking about the four people behind the last nonary game...junpei felt like he already heard those names somewhere #but he never opened the safe in this timeline.....how would he know? ALSO man. these four people...we've already seen them o_o THE GUY X AND #THE CAPTAIN.......HM............i still wonder about who could have killed the captain and WHY he was there....just. why. how #AND??? HM.....alice is somewhere after the library i wonder if they will end up finding her o_o but....its been so many years...is she rly #still on the ship or....did cradle pharmaceuticals do something to her once they got the gigantic #? she must be somewhere maybe 0_0 THERE IS A WALL THATS LIKE....METAL. THERE WAS A WALL LIKE THIS ON THE LIBRARY and junpei said u couldnt #open it so i wonder if when cradle pharmaceutical got this ship they decided to keep alice there once they found her..man what the fuck :-(#they cant go back to the library now 💀💀💀💀 THE DOOR CLOSED. BEHIND THEM AND. IM STARTING TO THINK ZERO LIED ABOUT HOW MUCH TIME THEY HAD #TO ESCAPE.....thank you zero so true bestie *shakes zero* WHY DID YOU DO ALL OF THIS I KNOW WHY BUT WHY. WHY why would u also risk everyone #like that BITCHES.....HELP! guys its okay 🏃🏃🏃 snake said...he thinks zero doesnt want to kill them...if zero was on the last nonary game #but man i am more than sure a lot of time have passed since it was 4:20/4:30am on this game like??? the whole scene with santa in the chapel #the time they spent there alone in silence...junpei having that one vision with the code...opening the coffin THE SIBLING REUNION #junpei and seven didnt have the heart to tell snake and clover they had to hurry so. they just waited for them 😢😢😢 aw...then they had to #tell snake everything that happened while he was knocked out (goodnight sweet prince ❤️) and also other stuff and also that moment when #junpei wanted to make sure they could open door 9 with the 4 of them....and the 0 bracelet thats actually a O bracelet bc O = 24 → 2 + 4 → 6 #AND THEN THEY WALKED FOR A WHILE TO FIND THE DOOR THAT NEEDS THE NEPTUNE KEY....AND THE LIBRARY DOOR 0_0 and. man they spent so much time on #that library like. u dont have to interact with all of the books yeah but. they talked for a very long time there AND ALSO WHEN SNAKE WAS #telling junpei what happened on the last nonary game.....after he decided he can trust junpei o(-< aw man......and #help. EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED MUST HAVE TAKEN MORE THAN 1 HOUR I AM SURE OF IT 💀💀💀💀 now they have like idk 30 minutes to find that key #and keycard good luck /j when everyone was like 'oh nooo this is the end' snake was just 'oh? so you want to wait here to die? okay then' 💀#THEYRE TRYING THEIR BEST BUT......man also i just remembered that computer from the study room it was the last thing i checked fuck

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that-sarcastic-writer · 3 years

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Drunk and Dreamin' (Rick Flag)

Pairing: Rick Flag x F!Reader

Request: can i get a rick x reader pregnancy fic 🥺 bonus points if the reader is still a member of the suicide squad 👀👀

Note: I mixed it with a drunk Rick prompt I saw last night, I thought itd be cute to mix them together. Hopefully you like it and you're satisfied with the request.

Warnings: alcohol use, cursing, mentions of pregnancy, mostly just fluff, rick being cute af

WC: 3.4k I dont know what it's like to write short fics

A/N: soooo heres more rick because like we love this man, I love this man and yeah, hes on my mind 24/7. Like I said I mixed the pregnancy request with a drunk Rick thing I saw. @dreamingindigital posted it first, so if they see this hey, thank you for letting me do it hope you like my adaptation of what you said. And as for the rest of yall, hope you like it too

It was a weird feeling, being alive. Making it out of a mission and coming home for another day, sleep in your own bed one more night and fall asleep in the arms of the man you loved one more time. You never knew if you were coming back from a suicide mission, or if Rick was. Hell, maybe you'd both bite the dust then. You didn't know. But you knew that every day you were alive, away from bullets and blood, and with the man you loved, that you wouldn't take for granted.

So when you both and Rick made it alive out of that damn island, he insisted on going out for drinks when you got back to America. Go crazy, live like it was your last day, and God knows if it would be. You weren't exactly on board with the idea, since well, you found right after getting to America that you were pregnant, and of course it was Rick's. Other than that, you perfectly knew he almost got killed in that island, he got stabbed with that piece of ceramic and it damn near killed him, you wanted him to rest. And you, well, you got beat up, as did everyone else, but thanks to some higher power or maybe just luck, you didn't get hurt too badly, you didn't get stabbed, gunned down, crushed, or face-hugged xenomorph style by a starfish so, that was a win for you. Still, you'd rather just go home and shower, wash off the blood and death off your body. And just rest so maybe you could tell Rick the news. But Rick was persistent, you didn't know what it was, he wasn't the drinking 'till I pass out type, but maybe almost dying made him want to live more, outside of the walls of Belle Reeve or some top secret location where he'd possibly die.

"We're alive, sweetheart, let's enjoy it." He told you.

The man almost got killed, you could at least give him that. If he wanted to get drunk you'd let him, he deserved it. You could always tell him tomorrow, you knew you wouldn't die tonight at least.

So as reluctant as you were, you joined him in his quest to get drunk, you guessed. Well, it was mostly in spirit and moral support, because you weren't drinking. You did join him on the floor once he got drunk enough to want to dance with you, arms around each other, bodies pressed together and holding each other even if the song didn't match the slow and close vibe you were going for. You didn't care, you needed to hold each other and you'd be damned if you let go of that man.

It was fun, you weren't going to lie, for once you felt like a normal couple, out, drinking, dancing, laughing like you didn't have a single worry in your mind, not the task force, not where will you be next, not the killing, not Waller, nothing. It was just you and Rick, together, only thinking about each other. Even if it was just for a minute. But maybe now it could be like that, but not just for a minute.

You were honestly surprised how quickly Rick got drunk. I mean, he was drinking by himself despite his insistence on you joining him, he was confused at first by how adamant you were about not drinking, but he surprisingly didn't question you anymore after the first round of shots. So he downed all the shots and beer in a matter of a few hours. And you would think he was a bad drunk, loud and messy, but it was quite the opposite. He was a very touchy and affectionate drunk.

You nearly jumped, ready to swing a punch when you felt a strong pair of arms wrap around your waist from behind, and you were met with a hard chest. It took you a second to realize it was just Rick, and you relaxed, happily leaning into his chest. You felt him leave a lazy wet kiss to the side of your head before he leaned into your shoulder, pressing the side of his face into your neck. He was warm, hot and a bit sweaty, his own body heat was making you hot, but you didn't mind. And you smiled, reaching behind you to run your fingers through his hair.

"Did I ever tell you you smell really fuckin' good?" He hummed, slightly slurring his words and making his accent slightly thicker.

You giggled, taking in his own scent. It was a mix of faint sweat from the hot atmosphere of the bar, the smell of liquor still on his tongue and the faint smell of his aftershave still lingering on his freshly shaven jaw. It was an interesting mixture really, honestly one would think it's not necessarily the most enjoyable of smells, but you liked it. It was comforting really. It smelled like home, because he was your home.

"Oh yeah?" You chuckled, "you like the smell of sweat and death?" You retorted, running your fingers through the short dark blondish strands.

"Nah," he hummed when he felt your fingers and shook his head, rubbing his face further into your neck. "You kinda smell like, like vanilla. Yeah, you smell like vanilla, and cinnamon and— and you smell like all the pretty things in the world." He mumbled, a tired sigh leaving his lips as he nodded, as if to confirm what he was saying.

"Oh," you couldn't help but laugh, a loving smile he couldn't quite see plastered on your lips, "that so?"

"Mhm…" He hummed, nuzzling further into your neck and his big arms nearly squeezing you into a bear hug, "you smell like you're pretty. 'Cause you are pretty. So so pretty…" his voice got softer and quieter, going almost inaudible by the end as he trailed off, exhaling deeply and he was suddenly leaning into you, putting half of his weight on you, making you blow out a sharp breath.

"Rick, baby." You tapped the back of his head, instantly feeling him slightly lift it, "you okay pretty boy?"

"Mhm.." He exhaled tiredly, "just resting my eyes for a second, sweetheart." He mumbled before going right back to the place in your neck. You chuckled fondly, knowing he was probably falling asleep, exactly like that, standing and all.

"Okay, come on, I'm taking you home, okay?" You turned around, hearing him groan quietly and when you looked up at him you almost wanted to awe out loud. His eyes were half closed and hooded, barely looking at you and his pale cheeks were flushed bright red, it was kinda adorable honestly.

"A pretty girl's takin' me home? Aren't I lucky." You couldn't hold in your laughter this time. When you laughed, he narrowed his eyes at you and slightly tilted his head in confusion.

"Yeah, absolutely," you giggled, brushing your hand over his cheek and leaned up to press a chaste kiss to his lips, "alright, come on big guy."

You slung an arm around his torso, and he instantly slung an arm over your shoulder, practically leaning into you like you were a pole or something.

"Goddamn." You sucked a sharp breath when you felt his weight on you, barely being able to hold him upright, because he couldn't even do that himself. This was going to be a long walk to your car. You took a deep breath and used all the strength you could gather to lead him through the small groups of people still gathered around the bar.

Damn, this man was big and heavy. And he was putting most of his weight on you. He was also leaning into you as you walked, making you stumble to the side too.

"Oh my God Rick," you groaned softly when he slouched over you, both arms hanging limp over your shoulders, head hanging as he practically leaned his entire body into you. You had to plant your feet on the ground so you wouldn't fall with him, "Rick you're 6'2 and like 200 plus pounds, and you're putting all of that on me. Come on." You groaned, trying with all the strength you could gather to get him to stand upright.

Rick eventually lifted his head up, eyes wide for a second as he looked around for any form of threat, but then his eyes fell on your significantly smaller form trying to carry all of him. It took him a minute to stand by himself, mumbling what you assumed was a 'sorry baby' but honestly, you could barely understand him at this point.

Still, you managed to get him into your car, shoving him in the passenger's seat, where he instantly crossed his arms over his chest and slouched. You figured he probably fell asleep like that because you didn't hear a single word from him the whole ride. All you could hear was the quiet sound of the radio playing and his faint snores, confirming that he was in fact asleep. You let him, I mean when was the last time this man actually got proper sleep? Without having to sleep with an eye open? Yeah, he'd be pretty damn tired.

As much as it made you feel bad waking him up, you had to, you weren't going to let him sleep in the car. So once you parked your car, you got out and walked all around over to his side, where you opened his door for him and cautiously placed a hand on his shoulder, shaking him ever so slightly so you wouldn't startle him and potentially catch a flying fist. When you did, his eyes immediately shot wide open and his whole body got tense as he looked for whatever startled him awake. Much like you earlier, he visibly relaxed when his eyes landed on you.

"Come on pretty boy, let's get you to bed." You smiled, pressing a kiss to his forehead before helping him out of the car. He instantly slouched against the car, using it to keep himself upright. You sighed. This was going to be difficult. "I know you wanna sleep but I need your help to get you inside, okay? Please don't fall on me."

You grabbed him again, this time having to wrap both arms around his torso to even get him off the car. Rick made somewhat of an effort to get himself going, this time he threw both of his arms over your shoulders and leaned his head on yours, mumbling how pretty you were, how badass he thought you were and how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. It was cute really, if it hadn't been for the fact that he was so damn drunk he probably wouldn't even have said all of those things. He'd probably deny he ever said something that cliche and sappy, too.

Eventually you got the 6 foot something giant up to your shared place. You had no idea how, but hey, you managed to get the soldier through the door, up those stairs and into the safety of your home. The next step was getting to your bedroom, which may sound easy, but Rick was bumping into shit everywhere. He even started cursing at whatever inanimate object would get in his way. It was fucking hilarious, you had to force yourself not to burst out laughing in front of this very pouty and drunk Rick.

You got him to your room, eventually, and the second he did he threw himself right on the bed, face first. And fully clothed.

This fucking man.

You squeezed your eyes shut, rubbing your template and exhaled deeply, reminding yourself that he was just a big teddy bear when drunk, and you had to do everything for him.

"Rick, baby, at least let me take your shoes off." You sighed softly, walking over to the bed and ran your fingers through his hair, trying to get him to stay awake long enough. He didn't respond verbally, he simply huffed sleepily and rolled over onto his back.

You blew out a breath and shook your head, going around to the foot of your bed, one by one ridding Rick of most of his pieces of clothing. You got his shoes off, the shirt was a bit trickier, but with a bit of moving around you got it off. You gave up on taking his jeans off, he was like deadweight, and wouldn't move. So you left him like that. He was probably more than asleep by then. He was still on his back, a muscular tattooed arm tucked under his head, eyes closed, lips slightly parted as he quietly snored, or so you figured. So you thought he wasn't listening when you spoke.

"Swear to god Rick, I gotta take care of a baby soon, I can't keep taking care of you like you are one, too" You thought out loud, as you started to strip yourself of your own clothes. So you completely missed the way Rick's eyes shot wide open and he sat up on his elbows so fast it gave him whiplash.

Did he actually hear that correctly?

"The hell did you say?" You heard him say with a tone you couldn't quite describe. And when you looked up, you saw him sitting there, suddenly wide awake and sober, wide eyed, mouth slightly open in shock, confusion, and maybe like, joy?

"Huh… That's not exactly how I wanted to tell you but…" You swallow thickly, sitting on the edge of the bed beside him and looking down, nervous of how exactly he'd react. You've never actually talked about settling down, getting married, kids, the whole nine yards. I mean hell, you were in a island going on a suicide mission less than two a ago, you definitely weren't thinking of something like this yet. You thought Rick didn't actually want kids, he's never told you if he did, or even showed much interest in domesticity. So how the hell were you supposed to tell him that? "So uh… I've been feeling kinda sick these past few weeks, even on that island, I just didn't tell you so you wouldn't worry. Then when you were asleep last night I went out, bought a couple of pregnancy tests and well… yeah."

Rick wasn't saying anything, he wouldn't even blink. It was scaring you. His face was so blank, stoic and unreadable. You could never know what the hell was going on inside this man's head. You couldn't read him. And on top that he was still drunk, so he probably wasn't registering things like he normally would. So he was just staring at you, eyes slightly glossy and his lips slightly parted. And then he smiled. He genuinely smiled.

"You serious? You're pregnant with my kid?" He asked in disbelief, not because he would doubt you or your loyalty, but because he couldn't wrap his head around the idea of you being pregnant. You bit your lip nervously and slowly nodded, still not sure if you wanted to see his reaction or not. "Baby don't play with me, I know I'm like, drunk but—"

"Rick, I'm dead serious. I can show you the pregnancy test if you want. We're having a baby." You smiled nervously, fiddling with your fingers as you waited for his response. You were caught completely off guard when he laughed and grabbed your face, kissing you. It was sweet and loving, even if you could still taste the liquor on his tongue. But you didn't mind, all you cared about was his reaction, and you knew exactly what he was thinking.

"I must be dreamin' 'cause I can't believe it. This can't be real, it's too good." He mumbled, brushing his nose against yours as he held your face, a lazy and crooked smile on his lips.

"Nah, you're just drunk honey." You giggled, tears of joy pricking your eyes.

"Then I must be drunk and dreamin', because that's the best thing I've heard in a very long time."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

When morning came, you were already up, having been up since dawn, your body already used to waking up before the sun came up and sleeping very little hours at a time. Rick was a different story. Usually he was up even earlier than you were, most times he wouldn't sleep at all. But he was so drunk that after you both got in bed, wrapped around each other's arms, he fell dead asleep, and was only woken up by the sunlight coming through the window since it hit him right in the face. He was engulfed by the smell of freshly brewed coffee, which he figured you had prepared.

Rightfully so, right when he was starting to wake up, still under the covers and hugging pillows instead of you, you walked in with two cups of coffee. One for yourself, and another for him since you intended on waking him up then, knowing he liked to start his day early no matter where he was. When you walked in the room you were met with a breathtaking sight. Rick, now half sitting up against the pillows, tattooed arm behind his head as he yawned, his blondish hair sticking just about every direction possible. Rick Flag in the morning was both the cutest and hottest sight anyone could ever see. And it was your sight to see every morning.

Rick spotted you by the door as he rubbed the sleep off his eyes and a sleepy, lopsided smile plastered on his lips.

"Mornin' sweetheart." He hummed, voice raspy and deeper than usual from just waking up. You smiled, making your way around the room to sit on your bed.

"Morning sleepy beauty. How's the hangover?" You teased, pressing a chaste kiss to the side of his mouth. He groaned loudly, rubbing his face with both hands and shook his head.

"Oh shut up." He laughed, shaking his head before his eyes fell on the mugs on your hands, "this for me baby?" He pointed to the mug he usually used for his coffee and you nod. He happily took it from you and sipped it, humming in delight at the bitter liquid.

"Your coffee is fuckin' amazing, did I ever tell you that?"

"Yeah," you giggled, sipping your own coffee happily, "among other things." You shrugged, slightly tapping the side of the mug, knowing Rick probably didn't even remember the drunk late night conversation you had with him last night.

"In that case, did I ever tell you that I want to marry you and I want you to be the mother of my children?" He said casually, almost way too casually, like it was the most natural thing to say, a huge smile on his lips as he sipped on his coffee, he almost spat it right back out when he saw the ways your eyes widened and choked on your own coffee.

"Wha-What?"

"I mean, I believe you told me that you were pregnant with my kid? Or was I just dreamin' last night?" He raised an eyebrow at you, somewhat questioning whether or not he dreamed of it or if it actually happened.

You chewed on your bottom lip, trying once again to read the look on his face, in his eyes. It was hard to read him drunk or sober, you could never guess what Rick was thinking. But right then and there, you could see it in his eyes. He had this loving, fond and almost hopeful look in his eyes. With the sunlight shining right on his face his eyes looked lighter, like honey almost and they looked so full of life, happy. He looked happy. And then you knew.

"No, you weren't dreaming. I am pregnant and it is yours. So I guess you're gonna be, yeah, a dad." You giggled awkwardly, not being able to hold back a smile. And when you did, Rick set his might down on the bedside table and he kissed you, hard and loving.

"Baby," he sighed heavily, cupping your face with one hand and placing the other on your flat stomach, and frowned, "you're out of the task force. Like there's no fucking way I'm letting you risk yourself and our kid. I'm gonna marry you, and I can't allow either of you to get hurt or get killed. It's not worth it. I don't care what Waller says, you're out. You understand?" He frowned, eyes narrowed and gaze hard and he used his colonel voice, he was being so serious it wasn't even funny.

"Then you're not going back either," you frowned, resting your hand over his on your stomach and sighed shakily, "Peacemaker almost killed you Rick. I had to get that damn ceramic out of you, I had to drag your ass out of that building so you wouldn't die. I love you, and I can't lose you, not now. We can't leave our kid without their parents. We both need to get out of that fucking task force." You were nearly as serious as he was, and you weren't kidding, when you thought he was going to die you felt like your whole world was falling apart just because he wouldn't be in it. You couldn't go the rest of your life without him, you knew that now.

"Then we're both getting the fuck out. I don't care if I have to go back to D.C and take you with me, but we're not risking our lives anymore for this, not you, not me. I promise you, and little soldier that."

#rick flag x reader #rick flag x female reader #rick flag oneshot #rick flag fanfiction #rick flag #joel kinnaman #the suicide squad #x reader insert

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