#im beyond crushed

[lucky-numberme]

happy heart day from everyone's favorite eldritch office comedy podcast

[ID: A series of 10 Magnus Archives themed valentine cards. They're all done in a cartoony style in rich jewel tones, and accented with hearts.

1) Mikaele adjusts his glasses with one hand while posing with a suit jacket slung over his shoulder. he smiles flirtatiously at the viewer. text reads, "You're a rare treasure Xoxo Mikaele"

2) Jane Prentiss poses inside a cut out heart, winking at the viewer. her hair and dress are flowing, and her worms are numerous. text reads, "you'll never be lonely again. love, Jane"

3) Agnes sits with her hands wrapped around a steaming mug of coffee that is spilling onto her arm. she smiles vacantly at the viewer, the smile not quite reaching her eyes. Text reads "You make me feel normal, Valentine. Love, Agnes"

4) Manuela Dominguez stands in front of a dark sun and holds out a hand to the viewer, smiling sweetly. text reads "let's do unethical darkness sciences together. love, Manuela"

5) Oliver turns back over his shoulder and smiles a little sadly at the viewer. he's surrounded by tendrils of darkness in the shape of a heart. "Loving you is inevitable. (heart symbol) Oliver"

6) Michael Distortion curls lazily in a door frame, a rainbow spiral behind him. text reads "I'm lost in you. (heart symbol) Michael"

7) Mike Crew falls through the air, cocking an eyebrow at the viewer. text reads "I'm falling for you, Valentine. xoxo Mike"

8) Gerry's ghostly form rises out of an open book. They hold a lighter and look up at the viewer with heart eyes and a slight smile. text reads "Burn me up, Valentine. xoxo, Gerry"

9) Helen Distortion hangs upside down from a door frame, pushing herself through slightly. she grins at the viewer. "You make me spiral, Valentine. Xoxo Helen"

10) Gertrude stands with her arms crossed and turns sightly to look directly at the viewer, scowling deeply. A glowing eye is on her forehead. There are no hearts anywhere. Text reads, "No." End ID]

#tma fanart #tma valentines #the magnus archives #magnus archives fanart #tma avatars #why is Mikaele first you ask? bc I have a big gay crush on him. next question #i did this in less than a week which was a Bad Choice bc i am now wiped out. but it's done in time!! whoo #uhh sorry now im gonna tag all of them no more thoughts hidden in these tags. no more honor beyond this place #long post #mikaele salesa #jane prentiss #agnes montague #manuela dominguez #oliver banks #michael shelley #mike crew #gerry keay #helen distortion #gertrude robinson #little museum

[ribbonpinky-art]

sideyshowy bobby

#sideshow bob #robert terwilliger #simpsons fanart #my art #self insert #me #self insert shipping #thedorfmirrin #s/i and fandom blogs may interact lols #i knew he existed as a kid but its one of those situations where i instantly fall for a character many years later- #the moment i look at them again #like with maleficent and ursula :33 #so exactly 1 week ago #i met sideshow bob #how do i even begin?? i cant remember how it even happened- i was looking at someone's tumblr notes bc i like to look at comments sometimes #then i saw someone's username which i liked the ring of #then i saw more images of this guy #and now u know the rest #why is he so cute and funny #the dichotomy of a snooty thespian who loves to play up his villainy (because he cant do ANYTHING without going above and beyond to get the #attention of the whole world #while also having goofy clown tendencies #im head over heels for him #so is my partner mirrin (thanks to meeeee >x3 ) #and hes a simpsons character. not at all in a bad way bc i do not ever judge anyone's f/o crushes- #it was just. SOOO unexpected for me bc i tend to not pay attention to that show for personal reasons #just goes to show that theres a character to love for everyone in every piece of media #also this guy made me appreciate the show and its art direction a lil more than before despite my harbored feelings #and some of its silliness like genuinely it can be so funny (when there isnt a fat joke thrown in every 5 seconds anyway.. #so everyone winz

[hoffmanstits-enjoyer]

feeling. Things about this.

(credits to gurokatt on twt for posting these, i still have no idea where these OG scripts come from)

#*silently reflecting spongebob meme* #dramatic ass bitch really tried to kill his crush in the fucking hospital im- #god i need a fanfic about this #'his eyes on fire' HOMOSEXUAL GAY GAY GAY #mark's fucking beyond help ur honor #i love him so fucking badly #the way it reads like he's moving faster than he's THINKING when he sees strahm. wtf couldve done hoffman???? hold his fucking hand #he. aint even aware he's trying to go with him in the ambulance. droping his act the second he sees the commotion. drawn to him. attached. #smth smth the thread of fate that binds us together (im delusional) #saw v #saw franchise #mark hoffman #peter strahm #hoffstrahm #coffinshipping #sawposting

[ihatethiswebsite77]

When will the "Cartman has a crush on Kyle, but shipping Kyman is crazy" crowd realize that they make absolutely zero sense.

Like-

IN CANON neither Cartman nor Kyle have a crush on eachother. What they do have is a deep and weird obsession with eachother. YOU are actively choosing to interpret that obsession as a crush Cartman has on Kyle, but that is not the "canon" dynamic or nature of that obsession. In the same way people who ship Kyman will interpret it as reciprocal (or maybe they won't, it depends), cause the thing is that Kyle is just as obsessed with Cartman as Cartman is with him. That's why you can interpret this dynamic as any shade from nonexistent, to one sided, to reciprocal.

If Kyle is as obsessed with Cartman as Cartman is with him, and you think that Cartman has a crush on Kyle because that's how you CHOOSE to interpret that obsesssion. Then it's just hypocritical to go off on people who use the exact same logic you did to come to that conclusion. You don't have to think of it as reciprocal, it's completely valid to see their obsession as manifesting as a crush in one and not the other, or to even see it as just obsession in both.

It's just god damn weird to be so nasty about it to other people. Both of them are obsessed with eachother in a way, and people are allowed to interpret each of their obsessions however they want. If people who ship kyman are delusional for interpreting Kyle's obsession with Cartman the same way you interpret Cartman's obsession with Kyle, then I'm afraid you are all sinking in the same boat load of delusional together.

#my personal take on this is that im a kyman “dynamic” enthusiasts #i like their canon dynamic the most but i like any interpretation that keeps it's essence as well #i also get ticked off when ppl are like “kyle would never date cartman he would be so disgusted” #and im like #ah yes as opposed to cartman who has canonically shown just an incredible desire to be in a relationship with kyle #like pls be fr cartman would have the exact same reaction to this as you think kyle would #if by some chance they do end up with crushes on eachother both of them are taking that revelation in the WORST way possible #it's NOT just kyle that would have this disturbed reaction at the thought of cartman liking him #the reality is that both of them have a weird obsessive hatred for eachother and anything you imagine beyond that is headcanon #you are just as much headcanoning cartman's obsession developing into a crush as someone who ships kyman might headcanon kyle's obsession #developing into a crush #headcanoning cartman as having a one sided crush on kyle is as much an exploration of their dynamic as having it be reciprocal is #i don't care what moral obligations you might have to that #but you are both going at this with the same logic so please refrain from digging into eachother further because it's just annoying #that's all #kyman #sp kyman #kyman discourse #eric cartman #kyle broflovski

[rowanisawriter]

.

#i entered an excerpt of some shit i wrote last year to a literary mag #that was the first time i ever had anything original of mine read by someone other than me in like 20 years lol #i meant to do it as like a gesture to prove to myself that i can like submit something?? #and i did submit so it did work i proved it to myself ok move on #obviously i didn’t expect to win of course obviously #tell me why i feel crushed about it lol just found out this evening i didn’t make the finalists obviously i wasn’t expecting it but still #kind of disappointed #which is so cringe tbh i am cringing #someone submitting something for literally the first time expecting to get sone kind of recognition this is cringe beyond belief of me tbh #anyway #im writing a short story now and we’ll see where it goes and whatever but #writing anything original is so fucking hard and no one looks at it anyway #but still wanna do it idk whatever whatever #god #i just had to put this somewhere whatever it’s out ok now back to writing #delete later #idk whatever

[strawberrybabydog]

realizing im a lesbian has genuinely been one of the most life-ruining things ive experienced so far :0(

i dont think i know any other lesbians

i am a baby dyke. who likes a baby dyke? apparently nobody. i dont seem to fit into ANY lesbian spaces because i'm green but how do i become not green without experience? apparently i need 10 years experience for an entry-level job :0(??

how... do i even find other lesbians irl? "gay bar" ok first off why would i ever go to a bar. also im pretty sure those dont exist where i live

do i love lesbians because i hate and am traumatized by men or do i love lesbians because im normal. only one answer actually makes me a lesbian

if im not lesbian what am i? :0( i dont want to Just be asexual, that doesnt Mean anything

lesbians are fucking scary. i used to follow 10 sapphic-centric blogs but.... theyre always talking about how horrible/annoying other lesbians are over discourse ive never heard of, meaning, im probably participating in it without knowing

oh yeah. that too. i know nothing about lesbians. and being a lesbian. apparently when you're a lesbian you have to know every single piece of sapphic literature and every lesbian of history or you're bad and stupid and dont deserve to be talked to

it really feels like being hetero is free and easy, like you dont have to think about it you just Love Someone, but being queer is hard and energy-consuming and you have no choice but to dedicate the rest of your life to learning and knowing every single piece of sapphic-centered discourse. it seems like being a lesbian has more to do with knowing facts about historic lesbianism than it has to do with loving another lesbian and i'm sooooo not interested in being queer for the sake of discourse i just want to kiss a lady or whatever but thats not allowed until i pass my lesbian exam that every other lesbian passed 20 years ago

idk. maybe all of this confusion means im not a lesbian. i think if i really was sapphic i'd know the answers to this stuff already, researching would be easy and enjoyable..... but the master lesbian google doc..... idk... it seems like being sapphic requires more than just "Girls Kinda Pretty" and that is awful to me. i dont want to spend 4 years in lesbian university studying lesbianism just to get my lesbian degree so i can kiss a girl. i want to just kiss a girl Now why do i need a masters degree?? why do i have to study and earn and prove my place in a society where i thought the bottom line was Kiss Girls And Chill

"community history is important" i agree but why do i need to know all of this shit First, Before i am a lesbian. why cant i kiss ladies and research at the same time. idfk. idk anymore. i just want to love my gf. why am i 22 trying to figure out my sexuality when everyone i know did it when we were 14, how is that fair to me?? im sorry for being a late bloomer i dont know what you want from me

#i think to other lesbians im always going to be That Bisexual who only dates men but never shuts up about loving women #but its deeper than that. those were longterm relationships. nobody i know irl was ever queer in a way where we could have a relationship #i dont know if im a lesbian but i know how nervous i get around a hot butch or a hot femme #i dont know if im a lesbian but i can describe to you every butch ive ever had a crush on #i dont know if im a lesbian but i think in grade 3 i was trying to impress that pretty girl for reasons beyond wanting to be friends #i dont know if im a lesbian but i am head over heels in love with my gf #i dont know i just dont know anymore i feel like a failure #everyone else had their sexyality figured out at 14 and im 22 #i hated going to the gaystraight alliance at my high school because they would buly me for not being gay enough when the teacher wasnt there #maybe its true maybe they knew better than me that im faking it or something #but on more than one occassion in hs i had classmates beefing about my sexuality i wish i was making this up #ive been told i have a lesbian voice i have lesbian vibes but i dont know if thats true especially if my actual queer friends didnt see it #i feel like im failing myself and every queer person ever i feel like every other lesbian just hates me so much and im so sorry #not dog #personal #big feelings

[dogwittaablog]

are there any other nhl players that you like besides nolpats that you enjoy as a player or find them attractive??

There are a few...

Brock Boeser honestly I never really cared much for him or his looks but its the fact you can tell he's a genuine sweet heart that makes me fuck with him... Also love what hes been doing for the Canucks have been seeing him thrive throughout the games I've watched.

Vince Dunn heard he's problematic but ong he seems like such a fun time lmao.

Matt Rempe has grown on me I think I'm just a sucker for big ass dudes... and hands... I can't forget the hands... seems like an actual softy.

Connor Dewar is handsome as hell... simple as that.

Tyler Seguin I gotta throw him in there because I got to pay homage to the OG man candy of my adolescence.

#theres probably a few more but these are the current ones off my head #this was strictly based off looks no doubt #vince n matt r those gritty little players you cant help but love and hate #im beyond confident that every girl into hockey must have had a crush on the one and only t segs #vince dunn #brock boeser #matt rempe #connor dewar #tyler seguin #march 24 subs

[musubiki]

YES!! i havent designed her yet but i have an idea of it!!! shes this cute little short haired blonde girl all in love with lime. (shes also the one he dated for a little bit during the timeskip, but eventually stopped cuz he still loved mochi)

but shes also an m34th member, really cute cheerful and delulu thinking lime will like her again eventually. really forward and lime finds it kind of annoying but at the same time shes his coworker so hes still dismissive but not as mean to her as he normally is rejecting women. really bad with boundaries and (for the jokes) will often just appear places shes not supposed to be like the mens locker room. cooing "Lime do you need a massage? Your mission must have been so tiring!" and everyone else kind of ignores it as this point beyond a casual "You know you're not supposed to be in here right--"

when she finally meets mochi (unaware shes a witch, but very aware that this is the girl lime is in love with) she tries a lot of "Oh me and Lime have such a history! Lime remember when we kissed under the moonlight?" to try and create a wedge between mochi and lime and hes always "That never happened." (except when she brings up anything that DID actually happen and he has nothing to say. and mochi has that familiar knot in her stomach when he goes silent)

but for the most part, shes harmless. she does eventually become the kind of character like "mochi send me that song you guys were playing in the store the other day it was a bop-" like a lot of the characters. and mochi cant do anything to STOP her from interacting with lime because they occasionally are on the same mission. so much like mochi has sulluvan pursuing her lime has this cute chick hehe

(and she treats marshal like hes a cute lil kid and he HATES it)

#i need to make more characters going after lime. hes too handsome to not have a fuck ton of suitors #her and lime never did anything beyond date. lime didnt have it in him. too loyal to his crush #but shell bring up something like (Okay but you DID win that little bear for me at the capitol state fair) and he goes quiet #and mochi goes quiet #and its very silent #and shes like (wh...what is this atmosphere... i feel like im choking...)

[legendary-assassin-stance]

this is going to be my last post on the matter because i have this person blocked in as many ways as i possibly can and i keep learning shit about them against my will but

i literally have NOTHING to say to ANYONE who agrees with this person's human + "human-acting" charr bullshit when they wholeass took a character that is SUPPOSED TO BE WRITTEN CANONICALLY AUTISTIC and said with their whole fucking chest "im glad they haven't ruined his characterization by over-humanzing him <3" go eat a fucking brick, actually.

#from beyond the grave #i made the other post unrebloggable but no you know what? this one stays free. #if this breaches containment and they see it? good! i *want* to start a fight at this point! #also im losing my fucking MIND at how its BAD for any other race to have relationship issues that are too ''human'' #but they haven't pointed out the literal fact that we got the canthan xpac because gorrik was *insistent* he go see his old crush #but oh no sorry i forgot that asura treat relationships So Fucking Clinically in-canon #that its basically nigh IMPOSSIBLE to tell if an asura is even IN one unless they tell you #im surprised this person doesnt throw shit at taimi and gorrik's relationship dance #but we all know that its okay for the uwu precious baby ratties who have done no wrong uwu uwu uwu #to have the barest hint of fuckin HUMANITY written in them just so long as anet doesnt cross some invisible line of being ''TOO human <3''

[hella1975]

hey hella here's my ethel cain commentary, songs in no particular order it's just my faves I had thoughts on. also my favorite song is strangers and my favorite album was preacher's daughter

a house in nebraska: love this one, the yearning is insane, don't know why bbgirl picked nebraska though. you could pick a state anywhere in the midwest and you pick nebraska? like I get it's for the Vibes but was there no other state that properly captured the Vibes? also it could just be the brainrot talking but this song is sooo [REDACTED] (the "house in nebraska" being the [REDACTED] ofc)

sun bleached flies: "god loves you, but not enough to save you." god loves you, but not enough to save you. god loves you, but not enough to save you. god loves you, but NOT ENOUGH TO SAVE YOU. GOD LOVES YOU, BUT NOT ENOUGH TO- anyway. ethel cain unrelease this. ethel cain put this thing back where it came from or so help me

western nights: I just really like this one. it's a really pretty song. until you look up the lyrics. naturally.

american teenager: "I don't need anything from anyone, It's just NOT MY YEAR, BUT I'M ALL GOOD OUT HERE! SAY WHAT YOU WANT, BUT SAY IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT WITH YOUR FISTS FOR ONCE!!!" love this song love this song love this song

hard times: this one is so heartbreaking, I hear this and my mood takes an instant cliff dive. it's almost as bad for my mental state as your saddest great achievement by lucy eaton. I don't even have daddy issues. also the thing you said about this apparently being about sa makes this so much worse when I listen to it and instinctively go "oh this is so [blorbo with daddy issues]" and then I remember it's about sa and I feel uncomfortable and I'm like "oh it's not THAT serious for the blorbo though ://" it sounds very general though so it'll probably still make it onto blorbo playlists

inbred: you were so right about this song using lyricism most artists would shy away from, "pissing on the stove to put it out" "sucking on the back of his leg to stay warm" "touch me till i vomit" this is such a Gross song (affectionate) I love this one so much

head in a wall: something about the guitar chords in this one appeals to me so much. it feels familiar? classic? idk but I like it

golden age: all I have to say is miss cain maybe should take this one back too methinks

crush: "LOW SLUNG BAD BITCH BABY COME AND GET YOU SOME" this slaps. no notes.

strangers: "I tried to be good, am I no good? am I no good? am I no good? with my memory restricted to a polaroid in evidence, I just wanted to be yours, can I be yours? can I be yours? just tell me I'm yours, if I'm turning in your stomach and I'm making you feel sick" :(((( I am obsessed with this one it's so everything to me, it makes me insane. especially the cannibalism part bc I love weird shit in songs (also I think I have a slight fascination with cannibalism and I think it's bc I read a book about the donner party at 12) also there's something about how the lyrics at the end are listed as "mama just know that I love you (I do)" but no matter what I try to hear it sounds like she's saying "mama just know that I love you (and I lied to you)" but anyway the way she's being devoured by her lover? the mommy issues? the winn dixie name drop? she went off with this one

ptolmaea: I love this song it's so distressing. I need more Evil Music that is an Actively Harmful Listening Experience. very cathartic. however, I listen to music when just like. doing dishes and shit. I can't have my hands in dirty dishwater and be hearing "make it stop make it stop make it stop stop stop stop stop stop STOP AAAAAAHHHHH" however, it probably would be good to listen to when I'm sitting in my hammock in the woods, if I wanted to feel like I was in a found footage horror movie

family tree (intro): "jesus can always reject his father, but he can not escape his mother's blood" "swinging by my neck from the family tree" I'm so. I'm sooo. I'm eating drywall. I'm gonna stick my hand in a wood chipper. I'm gonna shove my head in the dirt. what the fuck. I love when people interpret jesus as a complicated figure. I don't fuck with christianity but from a narrative and artistic standpoint there is. so much. also you bringing [REDACTED] into this makes me feel so mentally ill

also I wrote all of this before looking up the lyrics on genius and shit got twice as interesting for the preacher's daughter album when I looked it up. what the fuck. I love narratives

real ones know that this ask and the journey it went on entitles rori to every horrible mean thing she says to me. i deserve it

#YOURE SO REAL FOR THE GOLDEN AGE AND CRUSH RECOGNITION DO YOU STILL LOVE ME BESTIE IM SORRY #also tams was initially gonna be titled after a family tree lyric. insanity #every [REDACTED] here is beyond valid for reasons we have EXHAUSTED thanks to aiaia's bullying #ask #ethel cain

[pepprs]

my depression is getting really really bad. like it’s been bad before but this is like… consistently really bad. like a long unending stretch for several weeks (and tbh months) now. to the point where no inoculation actually sticks (and im isolating myself from most of my inoculations anyway and feel unable to stop doing it even though i know it’s self destructive). im either helplessly unbearably miserable or numbing out on video games. i just don’t feel like it’s going to get better for me and i KNOW that is factually untrue but the feeling is louder than the knowledge and it’s just utterly immobilizing. ive been sinking in quicksand for 2 years.

#purrs #longer than that too ofc but i think ever since i moved to campus in 2021 and shit started hitting the fan my life just started snowballing #and picked up speed majorly when i moved back home and ive been stuck in this horrible limbo ever since. like im scaring myself with how #deeply profoundly unhappy and unwell i am. i am just detached and scattered and bewildered by everything. and the only way to break free is #to fight it but i don’t even have the strength. like in order to fight it i have to have the strength and it s exactly the thing that is #being stolen from me. and i work really really hard to suppress it when im around people so no one can tell but on the inside im being eaten #alive and every day that goes on the pain gets harder to bear except im numb most of the time so i can’t tell except for when i can #one of the things that makes me saddest is ive pushed everyone away either by ghosting them or scaring them. when what i want and need the #most is love and comfort. but then when i get it it isn’t enough. idk. im not explaining it well i just feel like. horrible. unbearably #i think i need to go on meds like i truly cannot go on like this not even in a s*i cidal way it’s like i just can’t take living like this #delete later #i know im causing the people who love me pain by being unable to accept that they do love me and that’s the worst fucking part. is hurting #people by being like this. scaring people by being like this. and being so disconnected from myself #and feeling completely and utterly beyond help like nothing ive tried has fixed it but also there are a lot of things i haven’t tried but i #feel so terrible or my freedom is limited so i can’t. idk. #also the crushing knowledge / sense that i have lost the most precious important years of my life both bc of the lockdown and bc of mental #illness lol. except that’s not true bc of all the stuff abt how your best years are always ahead of you and you can make them. but it doesnt #feel like it for me and then i beat myself up bc my job is literally to exude that belief and help other ppl feel it and i increasingly cant #i remember in high school having the thought that one day i could be depressed and being conscious that i wasn’t and now i look back on that #and am like… how. and will i ever not be. i don’t think so. it just feels unending

[byrdstrolls]

being in the final year of my writing BFA, having now been at college for six years and been taking incredibly more advanced classes,

and then,

because of some reclassification nonsense,

having to go back and take english composition two as my only class this summer feels like killing the ender dragon minecraft and then heading back to my base to get into a fight with a pig

#i don't normally ace classes #but boy #I can tell just reading the module #im gonna beyond crush this #im gonna go for extra credit #this will be a gpa raiser #robin rambles

[monsterhugger]

i am never going to fucking finish fmab i keep watching like 4 episodes and then going "fuck this is too heavy i need to watch something else"

#seriously i posted this before but why does no one talk abt how soul-crushing this show is #i was just thinking abt how ive seen so much shitposting and art of it over the years and somehow im going in with almost no spoilers #as in like. no spoilers at all beyond something that happens very early and is only really a spoiler for the arc of that episode #no one talks abt the plot of this show in general conversation bc its FUCKING DEPRESSING #its very well done. i like it. its just very Heavy is the best way i can really describe it

[bare1ythere]

eepy

#it feels very weird to be back in my dorm for the summer #last summer was so bad. I was so lonely the whole time it almost killed me #and Im feeling that start to creep up on me again even though I hung out with a friend for hours yesterday #and im talking with online friends basically all day #but idk. I called my mom today and she was looking at facebook the whole time I called her (i could tell) #and I always feel so so worthless no matter what I do #I try so hard but I just!! cant connect with people! in a meaningful way! #I want to be in an active groupchat. a friend group thats always buzzing #to hop in vc and not feel trapped by my own problems with socializing #people reach out to me and i thank them and dont really come back (because im introverted and also because I feel so annoying all the time #people say im nice but sometimes I do genuinely wonder if thats all i am #like i am nice! but thats it. no one wants to talk to me beyond that because im also insufferably awkward and annoying #but in brief exchanges hey at least im nice! #sigh. i dunno #I have no self confidence and I feel guilty for doubting the people who are nice to me #or not trusting when they say they like having me around #because I just. I cant believe it. I dont get it. I dont like having me around and Im ME lmao #as I say so often in my head #if it makes you feel any better im constantly crushed by guilt and shame 👍 #shut up me

[quietwingsinthesky]

thinking about even and jack meeting, because i think it would be hilarious. it’s not that flirtation goes completely over their head, it’s that anything that’s even slightly more complicated than ‘you’re pretty’ misses it’s mark because there are context clues they are not picking up on (autism) and innuendo they aren’t versed in at all (spaceship). which jack could obviously adapt to very quickly, i just think it would be funny for him to throw out something charming and just get sort of. squinted at.

#i cant fucking write pick-up lines to save my life but like for example. for example. jack: you must have some capable hands if the doctor’s #trusting you to help fly the tardis. ;) || Even: (aware that their job is mostly following instructions) I am very good at listening??? #it cannot be subtle. they arent going to pick up on subtle. #cut to later when jack’s figured this out and also figured out that he can call even pretty and force reboot their brain for a solid minute #easiest work of charming someone in his life. #i dont think even has a crush on jack beyond like. the ‘i know like 4 people with more depth than passing strangers and you’re one of them #and also handsome and niceys to me.’ #but that’s a factor here. #especially since jack is like. very openly physically affectionate in ways the doctor usually isn’t without the prompting of life or death #situations or success over life or death situations. #even deserves to have their hair ruffled is what im saying. #bless them. they would die immediately if they were shunted into the torchwood universe. there is a version of them that is fucked up and #able to choose violence but that version is very contigent on a specific situation person and lack of access to any other options. #if you put them in torchwood they would not resort to that. they would have a panic attack. and die. #but its fine. theyre safe in the tardis. #what was my point here. ive forgotten. i was going somewhere with this. rose was involved. #dw oc

[mysticarcanum]

auuuugh there is only skulduggery pleasant in my brain right now.

#i support women's (valkyrie cain's) wrongs #like. okay. i grew up on this series and it's absolutely fundamental to my psyche #and i dont even care about the quality of the books i will read all of them forever #but also like. valkyrie is my og blorbo. my og Character I Rotate In My Mind #i also had a huge crush on her. and then derek landy made her bisexual thank u derek<3 #but like. i just finished reading hell breaks loose. the dead men prequel set in 1703 #and. as a connoisseur of Imagining Scenarios #i am particularly fond of constructing time travel scenarios in my brain featuring my Characters of choice #in this case my best friend my chew toy ms valkyrie cain #so i was reading the book slow. spending my spare time imagining scenarios where valkyrie time travels back to enter this narrative #IMAGINE MY SURPRISE #when HALFWAY THROUGH THE BOOK #one of the mysterious masked characters is revealed to be VALKYRIE CAIN TIME TRAVELLED BACK FROM THE FUTURE #my scenarios!!!!! my little scenarios!!!! they happened in the book!!!!! #anyway im so beyond over the moon. that book was so sexy. ive got to reread the series now. #ive got to put valkyrie cain in my mouth and suck on her like a hard candy (NOT SEXUAL!!!!) #i feeel like a dog tearing apart a much beloved chew toy. except the chew toy. is Character #i need to find one of the og series books where valkyrie murders the most people and then i need to eat it #on god i wish these books got more tumblr fame because they fuck like hell. i mean. i love percy jackson as much as the next guy #but i feel like tumblr would eat the sp series up #like. its about a skeleton detective and the world's most violent teenage girl and theyre so platonically obsessed with each other #that theyd both blow the world up in defence of the other. #and also both of them have the magical potential of a nuclear bomb and are trying sososo hard all the time to not just snap #and kill everyone in a ten mile radius. but also they're not good people and they love violence so muc h #god i really did read some extremely violent books as a teen/preteen #at least skulduggery pleasant was aimed at that age group. i was also obsessed with the valhalla trilogy and. dear lord. dear lord