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#im so emotional you all have no idea
the-eclectic-wonderer · 4 months
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As promised - here's my final thoughts on The Golden Girls, my way of honouring this show that has kept me such good company in the past few months. Before I begin, I'd like to thank all the people who have liked/reblogged my rants about this series: I've appreciated each and every one of you, and while we might be few, it's been nice knowing I wasn't alone shouting into the void. I hope you had as much fun as I did.
Be advised: this is long and rather messy, but if you're interested, here you go - under the cut!
Let me preface by saying that I knew basically next to nothing about TGG before I started watching, last September. I had seen the couple of very famous posts about it circling around tumblr, which gave me the idea that it was an old but relatively progressive and very good show, and I knew that Betty White, beloved American actress, starred in it - so, in general, I had a favourable disposition, but being both non-American and born in the late 90s I had literally no idea what I might be getting into.
To be honest, I knew I wanted to watch it eventually, but I would have waited even more if not for a certain occurrence - that is, I read the Good Omens book. It is mentioned a couple times in there that Crowley considers TGG one of his favourite sitcoms (there's even a scene in which hell communicates with him via Rose). I was at the time (and still am...) completely obsessed with GO S2, and in need of something to distract myself: I took the bait, expecting it to be a good way to spend some time.
I did not expect to like it this much.
Some stuff you probably already know - it's really very progressive, especially for its time, and it's certainly got an original premise: how many shows do you know in which the main characters are all middle-aged and old women? And, of course, you probably know that it's a funny comedy show. Here's the thing, if you've never watched it: it is way, way funnier than you think. Yes, funnier than that. My God, is this show hilarious. I am, in general, an emotive person when watching stuff, but I've never watched a show that had me laughing so much, so loudly and so consistently during its whole airtime (B99 got close, but nowhere on this level). The writing is (almost always) great, the jokes and gags are delightful, the characters all have amazing chemistry, and the actresses are EXCEPTIONAL. Rue McClanahan, Bea Arthur, Betty White and Estelle Getty deserved all the praise and awards they got for this series, and even more. It's almost miraculous how so much talent - in the cast and crew alike - managed to end up in the right place at the right time like this.
Let's delve into a little more detail, shall we? So - the writing. As I mentioned, the premise is already original in and of itself - a show about four ageing ladies living as roommates in Miami would be groundbreaking even now, let alone in 1985. Not only that: it's a show in which four ageing ladies live as roommates with very full, enjoyable lives, fulfilling hobbies and platonic relationships, romances and sexual relations; it's a show in which four ageing ladies deal with life, death, old age, health problems (especially "feminine" ones: that episode about menopause was scandalous!), family, love, sexuality and a plethora of other subjects, while at the same time embarking on shenanigans and incredible adventures.
I always say that, while the opposite is not always true, great comedy actors are also great dramatic actors, and this is true for the writing as well: the same actresses and writers that make you laugh until you wheeze one second will have you a sobbing mess in the next one. The girls face together a lot of heavy subjects and events (Blanche's relationship with her estranged children, Dorothy's first marriage and divorce, Phil's death, Rose's childhood in the orphanage and the identity of her parents, and so, so much more), which creates the space for some truly moving performances by all actresses. Hell, there's a scene in S7 that lasts less than a couple minutes, in which Rose talks to a dog, that still makes me tearful when I think about it.
Not only that: this show delves into a lot of themes that are still controversial today, and while a few jokes here and there might be outdated by today's standards (although there's much, much less of these than I expected), you can always tell they treated these issues with love, care, and genuine respect for all the people involved. The episode dealing with AIDS has already reached tumblr fame, but just off the top of my head I remember episodes about the life of immigrants, queer identities (both in terms of sexuality and gender identity), artificial insemination, racism, poverty, homelessness, ageism & the treatment of people in nursing homes, assisted suicide (yes, you read that right). Compare this with sitcoms aired years later (I'm looking at you, F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and The Big Bang Theory), and then tell me this isn't a Very Special show.
Above all this, though, TGG is a show about four ageing women who become a family - who sometimes fight, sometimes keep secrets from each other, sometimes get involved in absurd circumstances, often bicker, but always, always, always have each other's backs and take care of each other. That's why, while the series finale was touching (once all the circumstances are taken into account: I wouldn't have forgiven such a hurried romance for Dorothy if not for the very strict constraints the writers had to work within), the actual, real finale to me was the next-to-last episode, Home Again, Rose: Part 1&2. Let me explain why.
There's an episode in S4, E22: Sophia's Choice, which deals with the condition of people in nursing homes, and how so many slip through the cracks of the system and live out their old age in horrible situations, alone and without any support. The three younger girls are understandably shaken by this thought: old age is growing closer for all of them - what if they end up slipping through the cracks too? What if they have to live out their days in solitude and abusive conditions? In the end, Rose (met with enthusiasm by her roommates) finds this solution:
I know, girls: let's make a pact that we'll always take care of each other. That we'll never desert each other, no matter what.
and in Home Again, Rose, Dorothy restates this same promise to Rose's daughter, Kirsten:
Honey, we made a pact a few years ago that if anything happened to any one of us, the other three would take care of her. Sort of an extra insurance policy.
She says this after an entire episode where the theme is that of family by blood vs chosen family: an episode in which the girls are barred from seeing Rose, who has to undergo an operation that might leave her dead or unable to take care of herself alone, because they're not her relatives; an episode in which they spend hours upon hours at the hospital anyway, waiting and hoping, and they are ready - they actually suggest the idea - to put themselves in horrible debt to cover Rose's medical expenses, because while they might not be related, they are family. It's just like Blanche states at the end of the very first episode, S1E1 The Engagement:
I was humming. And humming means I'm feeling good. And then I realized, I was feeling good because of you! You made the difference. You're my family, and you make me happy to be alive.
Do you see? They set the scene for how these characters interact in the very first episode, and then spend 7 seasons showing how true it is, up until the very last second. Sure - the girls argue, they bicker, they hurt each other at times, but you never doubt that they love each other deeply (except in the very, very rare occasions when the writing wasn't up to par - and even then, the doubt is very fleeting and quickly resolved). All of them have both blood relatives and romantic relationships (although not all of those are happy), and yet these other bonds are never portrayed as more important or more significant than what they share with each other. This is the very heart of the show, and it's a heart that beats thunderous and warm throughout all seven seasons of it - it's what makes TGG such a beloved, well-remembered sitcom.
(Since this is tumblr, aka the shipping old people site, and since you've all read my comments in the past few months, let me also spend a couple words on the queer romance reading of Blanche/Dorothy/Rose. For my own enjoyment, and because I needed some old woman yuri in my life, I decided in S1E1 that these three were in an open polycule and watched accordingly; can you blame me? They're always touching, they send each other some quite smitten Looks, they have great romantic chemistry, they're committed to each other, and quite a number of scenes are actually explicitly suggestive in that sense, although it's usually as part of a bigger comedic setup. I like to think that maybe, in a different and kinder world, this series would have ended with the three of them staying together as partners - if only for the fact that such a romance would have had incredible comedic potential. In any case, the point stands: these women love each other, whether there's some romance in there or it's all platonic, and that's the beating core of the show.)
Of course, even the best plots won't work if the characters involved fall flat; luckily, all the characters in TGG are spectacular. They're all very distinct, identifiable personalities without ever becoming stereotypes or growing stale; they have incredible chemistry in a comedic setting, but are so well-rounded that they work perfectly in a more somber setting too.
I've already commented in the past on how great a decision it was to keep Sophia a main character of the show, instead of just a recurring one: her special brand of caustic sarcasm is a crucial part of the dynamic between the main girls, and her one-liners are always iconic. Her bond with Dorothy is so sweet and realistic, and the way she gradually becomes Blanche's and Rose's mom too was delightful to watch. Dorothy herself, of course, is my very first love: the character that left the best impression on me in E1, and the one I resonate with the most. Her stares are iconic, her comebacks are legendary, and her regal poise and steadfast delivery make for a uniquely enjoyable kind of humour that I don't think I'll ever find anywhere else. And this is only her comedic side: her sweet and dramatic moments are equally memorable, and make her a favourite in no time. Rose is a testament to both the genius of the writers and Betty White's one-of-a-kind talent: her gimmicks and traits would have left me bored after a while in any other show, but in this one they just make her endearing. Giving her a heart of gold (on the good side) and an incredibly competitive streak (on the bad side) were clever choices, and they combined with her naivety and absurd anecdotes to make a character that is always, always funny, and always, always lovable. And finally, Blanche - oh, Blanche! I didn't expect to like her this much. I'm guessing this is equal parts due to the amazing character writing and to Rue McClanahan's exceptional ability - it might be because she's wonderfully charming in her usual, confident self, and even more compelling in her rare moments of vulnerability. What I can tell you with certainty is this: at some (early) point while watching I realized that I couldn't get enough of her character, and the feeling never went away, up until the very end.
You really can't help but love them all! The way they interact with each other, they grow with and thanks to each other, they support each other - it all makes for such compelling characters and dynamics that it's impossible not to enjoy. Betty White stated once, during an interview, that these four ladies are nice to visit for a half-hour every week, to see what they're doing, and I agree with the sentiment (although much more than 30 minutes a week would be wonderful!): they feel like real people, with real lives, and you just want to know what they're up to this time and how they're going to power and laugh through it. To misquote what Neil Gaiman once said about Aziraphale and Crowley in Good Omens: you could lock these four in a dark basement for a half hour and you'd have an entertaining show.
There's so much more I'd like to talk about (it's real hyperfixation hour, boys!) - from the amazing work of the costumes department to more character analysis to specific plotlines and themes, I could stay here rambling on for literal hours. However, this post is already long enough - I'll just keep this steam to fuel my creative endeavors.
Just briefly - so, what's next? Technically speaking, there's still The Golden Palace to watch, but I haven't made up my mind about it yet. According to the internet, Bea Arthur left TGG in part because she felt the writing was declining in quality, and I can see why she thought so; although the general level of the show always remained high, I also had my issues with some episodes in S7, and from the few reviews I've read about it it's a decline that's felt in Golden Palace as well. There's also the elephant in the room of Bea Arthur's departure: I think it was once again Betty White who said that Golden Palace felt like a table with a missing leg, without Dorothy there, although I'm sure Don Cheadle and the other actors did their best to compensate for her absence. This being said, I do love Sophia, Blanche and Rose, so I might decide to watch it eventually - although I'll probably opt for something else for a while, now.
If you've gotten this far, thank you so much. Watching this show and sharing my love for it with you all has been a delightful experience, and I'm truly grateful for it. I'll keep interacting with the fandom, of course (I have so many ideas for stories and vignettes!) - and I'll be sure to rewatch an episode here and there anytime I need to wrap myself in laughter and warmth. To you all, to Sophia, to Dorothy, to Rose, to Blanche: Thank you for being a friend!
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transmechanicus · 15 days
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Really fucked up that two ppl can care about each other and make their best efforts to communicate and still end up hurting each other so badly they cannot stand to be in the same room.
#my stuff#i feel soooo bad talking to my therapist about the same topics over multiple weeks#like i feel like they're sooo sick of it like damn can this bitch get Over It alreadyyyy#hi yes actually can we talk about the near catastrophic sense of betrayal and loss that has haunted my soul for over a month?#can we talk about how I overcompensate for other's possible feelings and emotions to desperately mask my terror at feeling out of control#can we talk about how even when I know ppl acted with logical reasons necessary for their situation it still hurt me?#and that this pain fills me up with so much anger and frustration that I'm powerless to put anywhere that won't hurt someone#so it just cooks me inside and makes me grind my teeth constantly for weeks#im so angry i did not deserve to be treated like this it's not fair and I have no capacity to fix it or control when it feels better#i just have to survive and wait until i forget about it and hope they don't decide to reach out and fuck it all up#cause i can see that happening#i'll finally be free of thinking about them and generally going about my day unbothered and they'll ask to get coffee or something#and I have no idea what I should do in that scenario. because I don't think we can be friends.#and you have not treated me with the compassion and warmth I treated you#i would want to say mean things. hurtful things. I would want to bite back for once.#and that's not me. that's not who I want to be.#i don't wanna see you. go away. don't talk to me if you're not going to make the pain go away.
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louroth · 9 months
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Hello hello everybody! It is time for another months progress, and I am so excited to share with you, all the things I have gotten my grimy little gremlin hands on. First off, what we are all here for; writing. I have been on fire, to be honest! Last month I churned through the last of the first batch of erotica stories (there's 6 (!!!) of them on my patreon already) and set them up for publishing along with two more unseen ones- I'm still going over the logistics of where to publish for the best revenue (I know this sounds boring, but I have to make an income somehow, and hopefully find another audience as a smut writer on other platforms 💀 I love writing it so why not!), and I am making headway, learning the ins and outs of self publishing. On patreon, there are also two Q&A's that are written in a bit more fictional manner, in character: a more fun way than just writing answers straight up and down. I have enjoyed those so much! There's a bunch of other stuff I haven't even mentioned- honestly, I have to say, I'm really proud of my output on Patreon even though I have been really anxious about writing full time. It's going great! I have to thank my new friends and support-network on discord; you make this all worth it. I cannot express how fun it is to shoot the shit with you in vc, gaming together, or seeing your shenanigans in gen or your in depth theories (thanks for the brainworms!) or memes or staring longingly at the fanfic channel or drooling over your art (ouro related or not) or... Gah. You are just amazing people, and I will waste no opportunity in saying so. Thank you forever and ever and ever an-
When it comes to OUROBOROS, I am happy to announce that the next chapter is damn near done! I was halted because of the discovery that dashingdon is no longer supported by it's creator, and have been working on the twine version ever since, earlier than I expected- it's tough work, but I am so excited to make this an actual game made entirely by myself, and not submitting to a company that quite frankly leaves a bitter aftertaste. It is taking long to make because I want to make it mobile compatible from the start, which there isn't a lot of resources for. But I'm doing my best! The plan is that I will be posting the next chapter for Patreons in the coming month, and then treat you to a full twine release here on tumblr. I haven't made any rewrites when porting the twine build, but I would like to do that too... so we will see; this plan is not set in stone. I will just have to see how it evolves over the next month. Yes, beta-readers is still on the schedule, just holding off a little while while I wrap my head around this new coding landscape.
Other than that, I have been working on the set aesthetic for ouro, which has been really hard, a lot harder than I expected. You all know I am no wizard when it comes to graphic design, but I want to at least develop a set palette and imagery and portraits that is cohesive to the story. The work is ongoing, and I don't have much to say about it- even though it is taking a lot of my brain power. I'm hoping I can come to some kind of set and in depth conclusion that I am happy with before the twine release, because I want the game to feel like a treat to open up and play; a world to get lost in.
That's it! If you want to see weekly and more in depth dev-logs, you know where to go. I hope you have an amazing day or night, and we will see each other soon. xx
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Snitches get stitches, Burt.
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hecksupremechips · 1 month
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Shinjiham is cute when it’s romantic but tbh I think i vastly prefer the idea of them being best friends instead. Like, neither of them really saw it coming and weren’t really looking to get another best friend (Shinji has Akihiko, Kotone has Junpei and Yukari respectively) but it happens anyway. Kotone takes a liking to Shinji much faster than she does anyone else and I’d say a big reason is just the fact that he’s so reserved that it allows Kotone to do most of the talking while he just listens and they love this arrangement cuz Kotone doesn’t get to talk about her own interests very much. Though I think some of her needs to talk to Shinji stems from this insecurity that he isn’t happy in the group and she has this people pleasing problem and wants everyone to be happy so she makes a much bigger effort to talk to Shinji. And it’s very unfortunate because Shinji intentionally acts cold and distant because he doesn’t want to form any attachments because he wants to die soon, but aaaaaaaagh dammit this girl just keeps talking to him and being sweet and encouraging him to engage in his interests and share them with the others and he just can’t seem to say no when she’s got those damn puppy eyes. And Kotone is just able to get him out of his shell by being persistent but not in an overwhelming way, she’s very cheerful and supportive of him. And Shinji is able to offer her support by encouraging her to talk about herself and by making sure she’s taking care of herself. They just click really well and make such a positive dent in each other’s lives and it’s all about basic acts of kindness going a long way you know?
#persona#persona 3#kotone shiomi#shinjiro aragaki#i uh. probably didnt do much here to prove that their relationship is best when its platonic akjsks i mean idk how to convey it#that these two are just so good for each other but that im just not feeling it romantically#and why should i honestly like cant a guy and a girl just be platonic soulmates like me and jackie aljsks#plus i just have other ships with these characters i like better ahem akishinji and mitsuham yall already know#and i just feel really comforted by their relationship being best friends cuz it makes the pocket watch a lot more power of friendship#and it just. irks me the idea that its romantic love that saves shinji and its romantic love that gave him a will to live#cuz first off you can save him without romancing him and also like if you think kotone is the only person he wants to live for#youre just wrong like in fact its very clear in his social link that he feels this strong love for everyone#its literally like why other characters are so ingrained into his link he loves everyone and they love him back#its just kotone who organizes the time for them all to get together plus like idk when ppl say shinji only wants to live after romancing#kotone its like. well hes not gonna have a good time post coma then huh#and i suppose the point being made is he has to learn to live even if his gf isnt there but again like. shes not the only thing he has#idk i just hate this like pedestal romantic relationships are put on and i hate the implications that like#akihiko has been trying for years to protect shinji and his love doesnt matter cuz it isnt some heterosexual romance#grrrrr it just irks me is all and yeah i just think theyre besties who do everything together#kotone is like shinjis emotional support animal that guides him through the scary crowds and shinji is off putting enough to scare away the#meanies that come their way and they have a dress up montage and make cookies
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aleeyenn · 21 days
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Hi i just wanted to say I love your works and profile sm, I love how you represent fireafy and coinpin and each of their respective characters, and I especially love how you represent Coiny. I feel like from what I've seen people don't see how Coiny really is, they usually just reduce him to a jerk or a firey slapper. But he's so much more and so different from that lke in canon he's so driven and serious but then fun and chill when needed, and how he can be fun and silly but then empathetic and sweet when given. and I feel like the way you represent him is so accurate and takes evey aspect of him in canon as well as headcanons that just FIT HIM SO WELL and idk it just makes me so happy. I also LOVE your headcanon of him being able to pull both masculinity and femininity, I love it so much it emulates the essence of him so well so be so comfortable in himself and not have a shred of toxic masculinity or anything like that. And I love how you make him adore pin like YES HE ADORE AND LOVES and does whatever pin wants it just makes me so happy esp with how gorgeous she is and as someone who is also plus sized and having issues with self image seeing coiny adore pin like that makes me believe in myself more idk how to explain it but YEA hahah just really like how you depict his charcater as a whole
I also love all your designs for every character
But ye I just want to say that hahah
i saw this when it was sent yesterday and i was in school and i was SOOO HAPPY i was telling all my friends with tears in my eyes and squealing over how sweet of a message i received LIKE I HAD TO FORCE MYSELF NOT TO CRY AND I KEPT GETTING UP AND PACING AAHH😭😭😭 i have waited for when i have free time where i’m not super tired to respond better than i would tired But! THANK YOU SOSOSOSO MUCH!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME!!! YOU REALLY DONT!!! thank you thank you so much!!! i’ve been struggling with forming my thoughts and feelings into words recently so forgive me if this is a messy reply but AHH!!!
coiny is one of my favorite characters he’s sooOOO FUNNY AND CHARMING! i love expressing his silly side and how dumb he is sometimes so i do it in most of my work (because it’s lighthearted almost every time) and it makes me so happy to see him being so.. coiny! he is genuinely such an amazing character and the perfect balance of cool, kind, and idiotic(affectionately) he’s so nice and so compassionate and i appreciate that about him so much and I AM SO HAPPY THAT YOU CAN ENJOY MY PORTRAYAL OF HIM BECAUSE HE IS SO AWESOME! I LOVE EVERY PART OF HIM!!! and you like my headcanons!!! i forget what kind of coiny headcanons i have represented on this account but YESSS!!! COINY PULLING OFF FEMININE CLOTHES IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS TO THINK ABOUT! he is SO proud of it. he will put on a pink frilly dress and walk with confidence and feel as pretty as can be! i’ve been meaning to draw him in a dress for months actually (i have so much i want to draw all the time but i’m either really busy or i have zero motivation But this message gave me the motivation to actually try soon KEEP AN EYE OUT! maybe ill draw pin and coiny with their outfits swapped 🤫) he is one of the most positive and caring contestants on bfdi and he makes me so happy!!! he can wear both girly clothes and masculine clothes HE CAN WEAR WHATEVER HE WANTS and he will look TOTALLY AWESOME IN IT! and OMFGGG DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW MUCH HE LOVES PINNN SHE IS HIS WHOLE WORLD AND COINY IS HERS AS WELL! coiny will do anything for her he loves her so bad… AND!!! AHHHH!!!! I AM SO SO SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY MY PIN HUMANIZATION MAKES YOU FEEL THAT WAY!!! BRINGING PEOPLE SELF-CONFIDENCE AND EMPOWERMENT THROUGH MY DESIGNS AND REPRESENTATION IS MY ABSOLUTE GOAL WITH WHAT I DO!!! it seriously means everything to me that i’ve Actually been able to achieve that and help people with how they feel about themselves indirectly. my eyes are watering while typing this ARGHH i really just want everyone to know how beautiful they are no matter what their size or weight or height or color or LITERALLY ANYTHING is. and as someone who also struggles with their self-image/esteem it means even More to me because i know how it feels!!! seeing yourself in a design of your favorite character or a character you enjoy in general feels SO GOOD so i strive to do that as much as i can. body diversity and diversity in all aspects is incredibly important to me and i want to sprinkle it everywhere in whatever i do!!! everyone is so beautiful and different and i think that is a blessing!!! whoever is reading this is beautiful and whoever in the WORLD is too just how they are now!!! EVERYONE IS GORGEOUS!!! it may take a while to feel it and that’s okay but just know that you are!!!
in short i am happy i was able to touch your heart and make you smile and give you at least a little bit more confidence in yourself. you are amazing and so kind for sharing this all with me!!! i think you can tell now how much this did for me by how much i wrote (SORRY ITS HUGE BLOCKS OF TEXT) and i can’t thank you enough for liking my work from characterization to design. every time i get a message like this i will not stop thinking about it and i hold it close to me every time i draw Like those other messages about my pin gijinka from months back I STILL GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER. i’m really glad i can make you feel that way and i hope i have made many others feel the same way too. THANK YOU!!!💖💖💖🫶🫶🫶
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aeoris4lovers · 1 year
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liam and laura experiencing the full spectrum of human emotion during the "he's my boy and i keep him safe" speech
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saetoshis · 1 year
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CLOSING OUT THE YEAR!
[‹ A MUTUAL APPRECIATION POST ›]
[‹ ABOUT ›] i started this new blog in around september, and we already have over 1k followers and sooo many lovely mutuals from not only this account but my past one! and i adore you all SO MUCH, this is just me spewing my love and thoughts into one giant post 🤗 // if i forgot you PLEASE let me know and i'll add you :') i have soo many mutuals i need to keep track sobs!
[‹ EXTRAS ›] if you can, listen to the song! i just think it rlly ties into how i feel from a musical standpoint sob! im a music nerd excuse me ahksla
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@kavehtion
MY SWEET VLYNN ! i not only adore your writing but also your formatting, it's so pleasing to the eye :') i find your energy soothing and bright - your confidence radiates to me and i always absolutely adore seeing you on dash! we don't interact too much but i hope we can more in the future :)
@heartnagi
LOLA LOLA LOLA BABY ! you've been here since diaphanoso snifle i adore you sooo much ! everything you post i go "that's so real" in my head, i adore your creativity and you have such a strong sense of morals which i admire :') i'm soo glad to have gotten close to u ! let's keep thirsting over aether and each other more next year ehehe
@zorotits
LINAAA even tho we are new moots i literally love ur energy on dash.. it's kinda bright and chaotic and SOO funny ! your theme actually makes me wanna take a bite out of ur acc if that makes sense jaksdla BUT i legit adore your energy (esp in tags omfg they make me die) and hope we can interact n thirst sooo much more next year :)
@touyyes
BAKI OMGFGKJF baki i stg. you make me LOSE MY MIND every time you post.. it's either making me choke from laughing so hard or actually dying from the MM M MM OH SO YUMMY thirsts ! you had me at toji n i was like i have to follow RN. BUT STOP i adore ur energy it's like bright chaos it makes me feel SOOO FULL OF GOOD ENERGY :) let's thirst over toji in jjk s2 next year :P
@dilu3
MY SWEET LALAA ! your fics literally bring me to my KNEESSS i adore the way you write especially bachira, n you're always putting me on to new chars and animes like hellsing :') i love your creativity and how you're always thinking of creative blog names n themes i adore them all !! gimme even more chars to thirst over in 2023 :)
@510hz
ARES i dont think u understand how much i adore seeing u on dash like. even the controversial posts i'm like "stop thats so real" like everything u say i agree with. the energy is like.. chaotic chill I LOVE IT it feeds my soul :') i cant wait for more moshares interactions n maybe irl eheheheh :)
@hystix
cadie dont get me started. HALAHAKAKA i literally love u like i am in love w you :') you're my bright lil light on dash n i swear when i see u in notifs im like "I CAUGHT U !" you're such a like.. precious soul to me i just wanna hug u snifle !! you remind me of warm hugs yesyes that is ur energy to me!! my sweet cadie snifle I MUST SEE U MORE ON GENSHIN N DASH NEXT YEAR :)
@tinie
ARLO ! SOGLO ! BUNLO ! omgongog you might not know but i swear u have an influence on me ! your energy is so like .. calm but attractive if that makes sense snifle ! the 'nodnodnod' n use of 'soggy' has captured me i swear ! now im always saying soggy ! but i rlly love seeing u on dash n ur like.. my biggest scara association if that makes sense ! i wanna see evennn more scarlomouche all 2023 :')
@nymphoheretic
MY BABY MY WIFE my BEAAAUTIFUL WIFE ! nymph / kk / kirei my absolute babe. my beloved since diaphanoso .. my biggest kyo n gyo n tengen thirst partner ehehe ! your energy is like omgog warm and chaotic I ADORE U ! every time i rewatch kny n see kyo im like 'yeah that's my wife's man' ehehekekej I HOPE TO THIRST OVER KNY EVENNN MORE WITH U ! one day ill finish bleach n catch up to all ur faves :)
@blueparadis
PARADIS ! omgomg i swear we haven't interacted much sobs BUT I WANNA MORE ! you give me suuuch calm sweet energy on dash :') I ALWAYS ADOREEE your formatting your brain is just like WHOAA so special so creative ! i can't wait to see more pretty colors on dash from u ehehe AND HOPEFULLY EVEN MORE INTERACTIONS IN 2023 !
@kunizk
ZENNN ZENZEN ! omg we rlly have not interacted much but stop. i adore ur navi SO MUCH I WANNA EAT IT ? like does that make sense? prob not BUTASLASAL STOP STOPP. i love ur interactions w toji's rp blog i love seeing just like. no shits given layin everything out ahaklaa BUT ! i hope to see more feral shit on dash from u AND MORE INTERACTIONS TOGETHER NEXT YEAR :)
@nymphoheratic
KATTAKSDHKAL KAT MY BABY ! my lil genshin buddy snifle ! i not only adore ur writing but i just ADORE U ! you're my lil kit kat sob :') i hope tumblr fkn unflags u someday HAKAKA it is ridiculous how much i miss u here ! but im glad i have u on genshin n hopefully we can share more lil leaks n show off tcg n showcases to each other next year ehehkeeke !
@babiefwuit
my love my light my literal best friend :') I SRSLY DONT KNOW WHAT ID DO WITHOUT YOU TO TALK TO :(:(((:(:(( nana bun HAKDAL grammy bun i miss u SOOO BAD ! WE NEED TO CATCH UP RN. like HOP ON DISC RN ! i am kissing u my sweet, soulful-energied baby! i could cry ! ahdkalsda BUT LETS MEET UP AGAIN N THIRST OVER GYOMEI AGAIN IN 2023 !
@itoshi-s
OMFGHKLASDKLAAAA ZARI STOP. bro it's been like 2 days of being mutuals but STOP I LOVE SEEING U ON DASH I LOSE MY MIND ! your energy omfg. it's irreplaceable i stg ! the feral thirsts, the thoughts u put in my tinie head ! ill go insane one day I SWEAR ADKASL im gonna bite u 24/7 in 2023 :')
@boyfrwenz
JEM MY SWEET THING ! you are my biggest daichi association ever ! every time i see anything haikyuu/daichi related im like STOP I WONDER IF JEM HAS SEEN THIS OMG ! you have like calm chaotic but also bright energy snifle ! i hope to see more daichi fics n interactions in 2023 :))
@ohsatori
omg HALEYYEHKALDSA stop stop ! i adore how you write not only tendou but all characters snifle ! your theme caught my eye so hard n im sooo glad i clicked follow sob ! you are such a sweet, bright soul on dash to me !! you also put me on SOO much good haikyuu art i adore it :') i cannot WAIT for more tendou fics n art n interactions next year :P
@haruchiyos
azrael my beloved my pretty thing ! u get me like u just GET ME yk? i feel like we're aligned or smth ! every time i interact with you im just thinking "mm m mm azrael gets it!" I MISS SEEING U ON DASH I NEED MORE AZRAEL THOUGHTS ! im yelling at yukimiya to give u sum kisses for the new year :P
@tinymaru
REINEAKJSDKLA reine my baby. I SWEAR U DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH RESPECT N ADMIRATION I HAVE FOR UR TALENT ! you're such a sweet soul too i can't help but smile when i see "MOSHI" randomly in my disc notifs asdklalad !! you have such a gifted, creative, beautiful mind to me ! i cannot wait for more art n selfship drawings n silly lil dms in 2023 :)
@sailewhoremoon
SOSAAAA every time i see u on dash legit love sosa plays in my head ! your energy omfg it cannot be replicated. it's SOOOO GOOD and the way u reblog asks n check up on ur moots is SOO SWEET ILL CRY ! youre the sweetest brightest lil light on this app :') I NEED MORE FERAL UNCENSORED SOSA THOUGHTS ASAP ! i hope to see evennn more next year eheeheke
@dearbraus
FAWN FAWN FAWN BABY ! i adore ur acc sm omfgklf i also LOVE that u post abt lesbian culture n ur lil thoughts on genshin women esp lisa ! you're such a strong presence n it's sooo like... energetically warm to me !! i just adore seeing ur reblogs n thoughts spewed out on dash ! i hope we can interact EVEN MORE IN 2023 ! kisskiss to u :)
@thetempleofnyx
omg jen ASKALLAAAA my baby my baby omg ! my sweet thing i treasure you SO MUCH ! your feral unhinged uncensored thoughts on dash r sooo sooo contagious i stg ! every time i see u horny post im like oh. OH OHHH oh. OHH yeah oh right oh! HAKHSA but i srsly love ur sweet n caring energy you are one of the just most.. precious people ive met here ! i hope for more thirsts n interactions n LOVE with you next year !
@eremikan
MARI. i see like everything u put out on dash n i think to myself "thats so real" like ur brain is sooo intriguing to me.. IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT ! you have like neutral chaotic energy and im always like "i wanna peek in ur brain even more" ! but i will legit NEVER forget that satosugu fic you wrote where getou was gone and it was reader + satoru and getou like came to them in a dream sorta situation?? OMG THAT FIC CHANGED MY LIFE it was my first time reading an angsty fic ahdkala but i LOVED IT ! but anyways that was long omgomg i cant wait to see more peeks of ur brain this next year :P
@festive
VIVA VIVAAAA your energy on dash actually makes me smileomgomg i think to myself "viva n cyno" all the time like u are sooo associated with him in my brain ! i love love LOVE your writing style sm, n the cyno content is TOP tier to me ! youre so funny your energy is just so bright to me ! but i hope to see even moreee viva n cyno next year n hopefully even more interactions ! :)
@sugies
MY BABY JUJU ! omgomg every time i see jjk or getou art im like "WAIT HAS JUJU SEEN THIS?" you're like the sweetest lil bean to me ! i adoreeee adore you n MISS U ! WE NEED TO GET BACK INTO JJK ANALYSIS AGAIN ! i miss talking abt the chapters w you ! i am giving u a warm squishy hug rn cuz i miss u soooo much ! i hope for more jjk/getou brainrot n thirsts in 2023 :)
@rczc
ZEHR MY LOVE MY LIGHT MY BABY ! i miss you SOOO MUCH STOP ! you are the fkn funniest person on this app i am SOO SERIOUS ! your energy is so warm and chaotic and the feral unhinged tags FEED MY SOUL ! you make me choke from laughing so hard i will cry ! i miss u zehr bear ! i am hugging u virtually :)
@milkyybuns
OMGOGM DAE ! my tengen brainrot buddie ehehehe every time i see itto or tengen art/fics im like stop it rn where is dae ! im falling back into my tengen phase again so expect a lot in ur inbox ehehhe ... you have such sweet energy on dash like seeing u in my inbox makes me SMILE SO HARD ! i adore u baby n i hope for amazing things AND SOME MORE TENNIE BRAINROT NEXT YEAR !
@sugr
KELS KELS ! u feed me soooo well with the jjk art reblogs n haikyuu / jjk fics ! i will die adkasladh you have calm n bright energy to me ! i associate u sooo hard with yuuji (prob from the prev. username hehe) ! but you remind me of the feeling of hot coffee on a cold day if that makes sense.. like soothing n cozy :') I CANT WAIT FOR MORE FICS N INTERACTIONS THIS NEXT YEAR ! kisskiss for u kels !
@munsonsins
ABBYYADHJADKAD stop i miss u so much ! even tho i dont know shit about marvel or that stuff?? i will always read anything u write cuz i ADOREEE IT SM ! whenever i see u pop into my inbox w a lil meme i smile soo hard eeek ! i hope school is treating u well n ur doing AMAZING ! n if not i hope that next year brings u the amazing vibes that you deserve :) i love u abby ehekeke
@ghxstic
NYMPH NYMPH my kny food distributor ehehekee i stg my fav muzan fic is that muzan + koku fic u wrote from WAAAY back when ! i miss u sosososo much ! i hope life is treating u well ! i miss interacting so bad ahakalaa !! im giving u 365 kisses so every day of next year is a good one :)
@pcwer
bruh omg xel i literally think u are the funniest person i have ever met in my entire life HAKAKAKAAA like. i genuinely lose my shit every time u post ESP ABT KISHIBE ILL DIE RN THINKING ABT IT ! but you have such warm n happy energy it makes my soul feel soooo full ! i cant wait for more WEIRD kishibe thoughts n yummy thirsts next year :P
@r-oronoa
OMGOMG APOLLO my baby pollo ! i am sooo glad to have u as a mutual stop omgog ! you have like omg. the most precious energy ive ever felt thru a screen HASKDAAA you're so warm and inviting and bright it makes me feel right at home !! your fics are so amazing and the way u push out content is so admirable ! i adore u and i hope for even moreee interactions in 2023 :')
@suyacho
SNOW OMFAKSDJKALAAA you and xel are like.. the most ridiculously hysterical duo ive ever experienced in my life ! interacting w you guys on diaphanoso was INSANE i loved the kny brainrot sm ! you're the sweetest little precious soul ive ever met ! ill cry thinking abt it omgoggn i love playing genshin w you and teaching u all kinds of things ! i cant wait to play n interact even more !!!
@saneminx
CHERRY MY BELOVED MI BEBECITA ! MI CORAZON ! i love your energy so much like your sense of justice and bright, loud + confident personality makes me feel SOO GOOD i admire u a lot ! you always feed me with sooo many kny thirsts i ADORE U ! i am hugging u soooososo tight and i hope 2023 is AMAZING FOR U !
@the-witch-of-one-piece
VAL OMGLAKSDAAAA VAL VAL ! i see u writing bleach i promise one day ill watch it all n catch up with you :') your energy is so positive and loving, i can feel it through the screen i swear ! you make me feel right at home, and i love that we've stayed mutuals through my blog switch and after around a year ! im sending all my good energy to you for this next year :'))
@getoswhore
BRUH AHKLAAAA BELLA GTFO i love you. everything u put out on dash makes me fucking DIE LAUGHING STOP ! youre like one of my most precious mutuals from diaphanoso omgogm you've influenced me to be more confident n loud on dash hhehehee I ADORE U ! i cannot wait for more belloshi interactions n thirsts in 2023 :)
@donvampiro
DONDONDON I WILL CRY RN ! you are soo close to my heart my beloved ! if i could speak french id put a cute little french term of endearment but alas i am. not there yet :') snifle you make me feel SOOO safe and warm. i adore your heart and your preciousness it makes me emotionalahdkaaaa but i cannot wait for more don + moshi time this next year :')
@sleepy3
SLEEPY SLEEPS MY BABY ! you make me smile so hard when i see u in my inbox, you're always putting me onto new chars and it has me GASPINGAJSKAA i love your energy it's soft, like a warm hug and sleepy cuddles !! i cannot wait for more interactions n PLSPLSSS gimme some more chars to thirst over with you next yearhehehe
@tsunderedoctor
PURPLE my baby my love ! my mutual since diaphanoso ! i adore your sensitivity and brightness, youre such a precious person to me and i just genuinely admire your soul ! i loveee the law art reblogs you put out, they feed me sooo well :') and your emergency requests i adore so much! you are such a beautiful person to me ! ill cry omgogm ! but i hope the new year brings you nothing but good things ! you deserve it all :))
@4izawas
NEPPY NEP ! my bf since diaphanoso :') i adore your bright n confident energy SO MUCH ! your big biggg heart makes me soo so easily comfy and happy with you !! you have so much confidence and i swear it's contagious :) i cant wait for more genshin + moshtune interactions this next year ! i am sending u all my thirsty n positive energy !!
@garoujo
BROOOAKAKAKAA stop stop. dont get me started ill tear up ! emmie oomfghfgf i literally am in love with u ! youre my best friend stop stop ! you make me feel so safe and comfortable like i rlly dont feel that way with a lot of ppl ! you have such a bright heart and just warm energy ITS SO CONTAGIOUS. ur so contagious im sniffling ! we must have more emmoshi interactions ! i am giving u all my motivation n energy for 2023 :')
@vilsoo
JES OMGOMG ! i swear youve been sticking around w me for SOOO LONG like almost 2 years?? i think?? but SOB your energy is so bright to me i adore talking to u sm :') there's always tea to spill n its sooo investinghahakak but i cannot wait for more memories n interactions w you ! you are my go-to for fnaf fics ALWAYS ill always put people onto you when they ask for jjk / fnaf recs ehehheeh
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2022 SAETOSHIS. thank you all for the memories, craziness, love n hugs! i adore u all! // all credits for music go to animenz on youtube, song performed: kimiiro signal - saekano: how to raise a boring girlfriend OP
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bluesmoth · 2 years
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They settle and the vet rocks them, a hand playing with the braids in Warriors' hair, hums and it's okays getting kissed into his bangs.
hey so carved  //  hollowed    by @quirkle2 made me feel emotions. hello linked universe nation
#SO AJRHBGKAJRHBL#IVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR. HOURS#i made 90% of this while on my pain meds so if you see any mistakes no u dont <3#im SO soft for them jay you have NO idea#saw you posted a 20000 word warriors hurt/comfort fic and went OH??????? like a cartoon character#this is the first time ive ever completed a comic page too!!!  man. csp frame borders were an Experience#BUT JFSBKLAHBRLAK ANYWAY#THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR FIC WITH THE FANDOM I ATE IT LIKE A BIG BOWL OF WARM SOUP#your warriors literally lands so perfectly into my Circle of Characters That I Deeply Enjoy and i love him :)#i want good things for warriors. he can have some hurt/comfort. as a treat. good for him. thank u op for my life#lu warriors#lu legend#linked universe#also i loved the part in the fic where they go to wars' era and so much of it is just so unwelcoming to him. like....#his house doesnt feel like his. his 'friends' (artemis n impa) dont feel like friends. his people arent his people. not really#and knowing that later down the line he'll be completely disowned and banished really puts it all into perspective that#maybe it was his home once. maybe when he was a child and his mother was still alive to take him by the hand and show him the warm parts#of his era. but she's long gone. and maybe the warmth went with her too. the last of it stored in his scarf.#so he'll have to find that warmth somewhere else. glad that ledge and the others can be that warmth for him. god damn#feeling emotions in this chili's tonight..... im....... Oh My God...... could ramble about this All Night#thank you quirkle :)#this is the first fandom/non oc-related thing ive drawn in years. hallelujah#i am. so tired KARJBGALKJRBLKA#GOOD NIGHT LINKED UNIVERSE NATION#blues draws#maybe that can become a more regularly used tag! perhaps. perchance to dream
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ywpd-translations · 1 year
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Ride 719: The start of the Inter High qualifiers!!
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Pag 5
1: Sorry for the wait, in fifteen minutes, at 10 o' clock, the qualifiers for the Inter High of the prefecture of Chiba, here at the gate before the beach of Kamogawa
2: will start!!
They're here!!
4: Yeah.... sorry, sorry
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Pag 6
1: A ra-ra-race, so suddenly!? And what's more, the important qualifiers
Ah- ah- uhm, ah the helmet, the helmet, where is it, teh
Come on, come on, calm down- you're holding it in your left hand
2: I just heard the announcer saying “start”, Kinaka-kun
They're starting, seriously!?
Calm down, it's in fifteen minutes; now it's the tine to line up at the starting line
Let's go, Rokudai
That's why....
3: Sorry for the wait....
4: You seem to be in a hurry, so I brought these, here!!
5: Ka-Ka- Kanzaki-senpai!!
Aj- ah-yes!
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Pag 7
1: Thank you so much!! -teh!!
To- to- today we'll work hard until the end of our strengths, thank you so much!!
Yeah... you're so impressive, first years
And.... so nervous
2: Ah- ah-
Ah-
She's my senpai as a “manager”.....
3: You said.... “brought”?
5: The jersey with your number bibs
Waa, waaa, thank you so much, teh
Waaaa
By the way, numbers bibs are are something that's meant to be put on by yourself!!
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Pag 8
1: Th- thank you
Hurry, put it.... uhm....
3: Wear them, and run
5: They're the jerseys of the Sohoku's members
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Pag 10
1: Hurry up, there's no time
I underestand that nervousness very well, too!!
2: Of course you're nervous, you're running in the qualifiers with the same jersey as them
3: The jersey I.... longed for....
My obejctive.....
4: I can wear it? Me!! Now!!
5: Excuse me!!
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Pag 11
1: This.... I'll wear this, and.....
2: run together with Back-gate-slope-senpai....!!
3: I feel so honred.... and I might feel inadequate, but
4: I'll run in the race!!
5: Now, zip it up!!
The magic of that jersey is that it makes you nervous but it also gives you strength!!
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Pag 12
1: They're here!!
3: It's Sohoku!!
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Pag 13
1: Waaaaa!
It's last year's champions!
The two-times champions!!
They're here, Sohoku!!
Last year's winners, Sohoku High School, arrived at the start line!!
Amazing!
They're not just Chiba's two-times champions, they're national champions!
Incredible!
Sohoku! Sohoku!
Nice!!
2: Kakaka, they got all excited as soon as we get here!!
Thanks a lot, I'm Naruko Shoukichi!!
Naruko!
Redhead!!
3: Thanks a lot, I'll do great today, too!!
Look forward to my flashy running!
That redhead guy is fun!
4: I'm excited
Onodaa!!
Onoda-kun is so cute!!
5: Kashiwahigashi- well, do your best!
Makuhari- don't give up!
Don't just assume we're gonna lose!!
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Pag 14
1: We have to breakthrough this race
Yeah
2: Sohokuuu!!
Win!
I mean, of course they'll take the top goal....
Honestly, aren't they unmatched?
Yeah
3:If we lose here, there'll be no Inter High
Winning for sure, no, we never know what's going to happen, that's road racing
4: Yes
Three years ago....
5: Sometimes I remember that day....
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Pag 15
1: The qualifiers in Anesaki with Kinjou-san and the other third years
2: The first years are here
3: Finally in third place, Sohoku!!
What did the old man say in the end?
That.... they'll take the finish line, with a difference of one minute....
Can they really do something like that?
4: Catching up.... and even creating a difference of one minute..
Can they really do that?
If they really can....
5: It's overwhelming
6: Sohoku is the top!!
Sohokuu!!
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Pag 16
2: Back then, we were first years, and they were so strong and overwhelming that we could only think that our senpais were incredible
3: But I get it now
5: To open such an overwhelming gap
6: They worked so hard to prepare for that
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Pag 17
3: That's right!!
4: We spent so much time practicing and thinking about what could happen and preparing for it!!
5: And we also prepared so hard for this
6: Yeah!!
's right!!
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Pag 18
1: Let's run with everything we have!!
2: Uh!!
Sohoku's presure got stronger!!
Waa
No, don't run with everything you have!!
3: Let's go!!
4: Yeah!!
Yeah!!
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Pag 19
1: This road leads to the Inter High!!
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Pag 20
1: The Kamogawa qualifiers for the road racing Inter High
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Pag 21
1: Start!!
2: Under the clear blue sky, the ciclysts are all dashing on
There's also a lot of people cheering for our local high school in Kamogawa!!
Kamo..!!
Do your best!!
3: Kashiwahigashi, take it this year!!
Yeah, got it!!
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Pag 22
2: Do your beest!
Thaaanks a lot!
There are so many bikes!
So colorful
3: Now, is the parade section over?
Sohoku's Naruko?
4: 'lright
5: Should we go now!!
6: Waaa Naruko jumped ahead at the start!
Sohoku's Naruko!! Isn't that bad news!?
Waaaaa
7: Hahaha, it's alright!!
Huh!?
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Pag 23
1: “In road racing, you can't win alone”!! That's the theory!!
We have the numerical advantage! If he's left alone, he'll eventually get exhausted and fall!!
Kashiwahigashi Nomura-san!!
2: I'll show you
3: This is Naruko Shoukichi's flashi riding!!
Like this
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Pag 24
1: I'll reach the goal!!
I'll away with the first attack and then win, and make a legend!!
2: No no no, Naruko is definitely bad news!
He'll get away and win on his own, that guy!
Catch him!
Chase him!!
4: Thanks to Naruko-kun, the first half will be easy
Yeah
While Naruko-kun is in the lead, we'll be protected from the wind
6: By the way
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Pag 25
1: Kinaka and Rokudai.... until the last moment, they weren't at the start line with us
Ye-yeah
2: I- I'm sure they ran late while getting ready.... and are now hesitant to cut through everyone to come to the front
I guess they're starting from way behind us
3: I don't see them at all
4: Do we leave them behind?
You're so quick to make a decision!!
5: They were too flustered, chosing them was a mistake
Your humor is too dry, Imaizumi-kun!
6: Let's wait for them
We can't do that
Ehhh
7: No, seriously speaking
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Pag 26
1: If they can't get here by themselves, then we don't need them
2: This race
3: also serves as the team members selection
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Pag 27
3: I.... in the end we ended up at the very end of the line, teh
4: Is Imaizumi-san in the lead?
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Pag 28
1: And there are so many people, the density is so different from that of middle school's races!!
Ngh!! I can't get used to this way of riding!!
2: I'm sorry, it's because I took too much time in getting ready, teh
And now you, Kinaka-kun-
3: Whataver, there's no use in talking about it now
Anyway, let's go up to where Onoda-san and the other are!!
4: If we can't get to them
5: Our race ends now!!
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#yowamushi pedal#yowamushi pedal manga#yowamushi pedal translations#yowamushi pedal spoilers#yowapeda#yowapeda manga#ride 719#15 YEARS OF YOWAPEDAAAAAAAA#can you believe it???? im feeling so proud for no reason lmao#and we got  so many color pages!!! i love watanabe's coloring style so muuuuch#anyway! such an amazing chapter!!!#have you seen my boy Onoda being all captain-like with his speech??? hes grown up so much and im so so proud of him!!#seeing the three of them in this race and thinking about the first year when they were in the audience watching.....#theyre my sons and im a proud proud mum#if you ever think im not emotional about yowapeda think again#but also on another note Imaizumi iand onoda were su fun lmao#'do we leave them behind' sasdsfdfsdfsd imaizumiiiiiii onoda is right and your humor is dry lmao#also also i love how onoda is captain but it looks like imaizumi helps him so much with the organization#looks like it was his idea both to include the 1st years in this race and also to make it the selection too#loved how he had to remind onoda 'no onoda this is the selection we cant help them' l#and anothee thing#'we talked so much about what could happen during the race and prepared so much'#and yet they didnt think about including roku-chan and kinaka in the conversation! why didnt they prepare them too i dont get it lmao#they could have avoided all this rocus but alas they decided to trust kaburagi (big mistake)#btw i need to say it again- roku-chan and kinaka!!! I'M SO FOND OF THEM MY CHILDREN#theyre so adorable ;A; and their relationship is a+++#not what i expected at all when they were introduced but I LOVE IT#cant wait to see more of them#my pure adorable babies#little balls of nerves running in their first race :')
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falldogbombsthemoon · 14 days
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Yall haha, my dad made it so I have wifi access for one hour a day. which I can use from like 14 to 21 german time. So once my mobile data is dead, I will not be active that much ig. So please dont think I'm abandoning yall.
#vent following#its fucking ridiculous. im not a fucking child. neither is my brother#no idea what my dad wants to achieve through that. “so you can relaxe more” yeah no. being on the internet is my fucking coping mechanism.#there is nothing about relaxation there. also he did that so we'll to go sleep earlier. if it really was about that.#he would need to force me to sleep. you cant just change my sleep schedule by that#anyway its fucking ridiculous as i was on a good way of getting to sleep more early but if imma do that now he will think like#“wow. im such a good dad. i fixed all the problems my child could possibly have.” which is absolutely not the case#yk. ive always fucking struggled with feeling like people cant trust me.#and him not trusting my abilities to be responsible for myself is not helping#and then boom. im feeling shitty but wait haha my coping mechanism is currently set offline.#and like also im in extra stress atm bc school is fucking with me#not only are like a bunch of tests on the way but my fucking anxiety in school is getting so bad.#i cant sit in that facility without feeling like imma have a panic attack any minute#i am in need of fucking professional mental help. and at least one diagnosis. i dont want to do shit to myself.#but in this house hold. emotions are not talked about. feelings are suppressed and mental health is an illusion#i NEED to see a fucking psychiatrist. but i dont feel like i can to my parents about that. and technically i could go without them knowing#but someone needs to educate them. and i mentally cant be that someone#and guess whos sitting in their room crying and writing about that rn. not studying for their tests tomorrow and the day after.#i bet if my parents wouldnt have done that shit with my wifi i would be studying rn#quinns daily yapping post#rather#quinns personal hell
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perilegs · 9 months
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ok i might need to force myself to not romance astarion bc i don't want to know what it says about me to turn down karlach, the woman of my dreams, the character made to cater me personally, like, if she was real i'd bring the moon and stars down for the chance to see her smile, she's everything i've hoped for in a rpg companion, what does it say about me if i turn that down for someone like astarion
#ngl karlach would be too good for me and i wouldnt deserve it#shed probably ask me stuff like 'what do you want?' upon which i would be paralyzed with fear my mind completely blank unable#to process why i can't answer a simple question#and she's so up front with her emotions which i absolutely adore but i could not reciprocate that#wait am i actually for real avoiding the karlach romance bc i feel like this fictional character from a video game is too good for me#a real human being. like. i think i would feel guilty about romancing her#which makes no sense bc i romance characters too good for anyone all of the time. but idk#in those cases ive always had like a strong character i play as who is very divorced from who i am#but playing as durge there is no past so idk who my tav is yet so all i can do is project so he feels very. personal#im v sleepy and also ive had brain fog all day so yea idk#i mean i do genuinely like astarion and his character but in his case i dont feel guilty bc i feel like i#i have no idea how to finish that sentence without it sounding like 'i can fix him'#bc i dont want to fix him i want to show him compassion and respect him and his boundaries so he'll be able to reclaim tje feeling of#being in control of his life#so he'll stop putting people down to feel like hes on a pedestal#like i get him and why he is like that but i just feel like being kind and caring towards him would feel so good#it wouldnt fix him and thats a good thing bc i dont want him to change who he is but i do think he needs support#also hes hot im so mad at myself for being so atteacted to him#we wouldnt b here if i didnt have a thing for voices#besides thag back to the main point of astarion its like. ugh! im so frustrated rn bc i dont have the words#to express my emotions toward him bc everything ive said lacks the nuance that im feelikg but idk how to put it in words#i guess i want to protect him? that such a terrible sentence and still not what om going for
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orcelito · 2 months
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Thinking about using the journal I got for writing my dad's eulogy for trying to process my grief with it. The letter from me I found in his lockbox is still in that front sleeve, along with one of the memorial folders they had at the funeral.
I think I don't want to write it all on here. I think I've talked about my emotions too much as of late.
#speculation nation#negative/#kind of. i guess.#the thing about grief is that it really just never ends.#so im done with the funeral. the time is over. here i am. hes dead. im alive. time to move on.#but it's not that simple. of course it's not.#but would my followers who followed me just for my writing even Care?#honestly surprised i havent lost more followers. or any? idk i havent been paying much attention to numbers#but i know it hasnt really gone down much if at all#i just feel. like im not the person that people initially followed.#and i dont know when im going to be that person again.#there's no enthusing here. anytime im making text posts it's about The Situation.#i wonder how evident my grief is to you all. i feel it in my every breath.#i havent been working yet i feel weak. it's hard to feel much at all.#either im existing and im helping with packing or im crying again bc i remembered my dad cant help me pick out a car now#(in the Vaguely In The Future me buying a used car idea. for after i get my license. whenever that is.)#or im crying bc of jackets or colognes or a letter in a lockbox or a stupid minions hat picture in a too-big frame#or laughing bc Dad In A Bag (his ashes are downstairs. im far too unbothered by their presence)#ive been having an... okay time. we watched Dune today and i started building a lego set. it was nice.#but im only ever Okay. emotions hard to access. interests certainly not accessible.#making it hard to be creative at all. im literally only going through the motions here.#theres no heart. i left it behind when i got that 2 am call and had to rush to the hospital to watch my dad die.#i left it behind when i touched his cold arm for the last time. when i walked out of that room & knew id never see him again.#i know a week is still far too soon to be over it. but im sick of feeling this way.#it still doesnt feel real. feels like im following the bad end route just to see. i should still be able to reload my past save.#but this is my life now. forever until the end. out of nowhere hes dead and hes never coming back#and it's just really fucking hard to care about just about Anything else right now.#i prommy im gonna use the journal next time i get the urge to vent about this. im sick of this crap too.
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ozymoron · 2 months
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reading posts that come across my dash and sitting for a minute to debate with my mental disorder if not reblogging this will mean a hell portal will open beneath my feet and i will suffer for eternity for my lack of action or if its all good and i can just scroll on by (its usually the hell portal thing)
#⚠️#personal#having ocd makes making moral decisions so fucking hard for no reason#cause ill see a post thats like info or seems important and like i can tell its that kind of post just by skimming it st first and somethin#clicks in my brain that just tells me if i dont share that post everyone will know and think im a horrible person#regardless of what the actual post is about#i need like a handbook on how to make proper moral decisions#cause like yeah i do care about things i try to share stuff about things i care about and believe are important but sometimes i dont have#the energy to read long as posts and my brain twists it to make it out that people will know and i am the bad guy#idk my ocds telling me even saying this makes me a bad person#the fact i even struggle with this#sometimes i think im not built for social media but really i think social medias not built for people like me#maybe i should get help for my ocd but the idea of describing all the shit going on in my brain to someone just makes me feel scared#cause like i dont know when to draw the line at making something a problem i should actively have a hand in helping#how much is too much when do i stop#<- in regards to my own mental health like the mental exhaustion that can come from it i hope this makes sense#like some things you gotta invest like emotional shit into and like sometimes im just tired and i come on here and im faced with one of#those posts and i just have to debate with myself what the fuck im supposed to do#this is more a me issue than anything i need to sort this shit out with some mental health professional or something#cause like i dont want to have people think i dont care about these things i do and ik pressing reblog takes like no energy but idk man#im not even sure if some of the shit i reblog is cause i care or is just an ocd compulsion#i feel like most times its both#i cant help but think im the problem here i want to be on social media its just so draining having my mind repeatedly hound me for not like#showing enough care (reblogging more posts) about a certain issue online#idk im so tired of it all im so tired of my mind i wish i didnt have ocd#vent#so funny right after i posted this i scrolled down and one of these posts was rigjt beneath it and the debate happens all over again#lord i need to get out of here
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lucyvaleheart · 3 months
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#so first of all I'm fine.#second of all I don't know if that's a lie or not but like. by some stretch it's gotta be true#so it doesn't count as a lie to my code of honor.#anyway. I keep fucking losing it y'all#I.... even now on depression medication I'm still breaking down what feels like fucking daily#it's just in different ways#crying harder than I have in a while and feeling more panicked about than like I'm releasing emotion#it's more distant but for some reason it's. easier to conceptualize uh#....tw here for like self harm and suicidal thoughts don't read the rest of these if you don't wanna see that#some reason it's easier to conceptualize the idea of. cutting myself? it never felt like a possibility before#id think about it and know I'd never do it. but. now....#.....i can't help but find myself wondering if it *would* feel good. to hurt. to see my own blood#........there are so many people who's lives I've touched that would be saddened if I were gone but#it's.....harder to use that to ground myself. to pull myself away from the thoughts of just......#..........stopping#ending everything. i dunno. fuck.#....a few weeks ago I found myself wanting to roll out of the moving car and could feel myself able to#reach for the seatbelt buckle and the door handle#........im not okay and honestly I don't know if I care#sometimes I do but when I feel like this it feels impossible TO care#it feels so distant. i feel so distant. I feel so nothing and so bad at the same time#i feel so fucking ugly#so much self hatred rearing it's head where I thought I'd gotten past it#i have a therapy appointment at the end of March and I'm not sure if that's soon enough.
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sorenlionheart · 3 months
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i am dangerously close to making my own interpretation of superman
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